#i could stoop to a lower level and list all the sus shit from his end

[strangecassette]

im honestly just. really tired of people screwing me over and then acting like im the only asshole in the room. i own up to my fuckups, i take responsibility, and i try to be mature in handling situations. am i perfect? fuck fucking no. but i shouldnt feel ASHAMED of talking about my feelings on my own blog on the offchance someone is hate-lurking and poised to point and go, “see! youre talking bad about me so you ARE the evil villain monster bad guy of my personal story!”

cant people just be normal? i fucked up a friendship, i hurt someone i cared about, and we couldnt continue on because of what i did. i was an asshole, i was really unsure about my emotions and life decisions at a very unstable and vulnerable point in my life. how i handled that hurt someone that was ready to grow closer, and that was fucked up of me. i wont say that he doesnt have a right to be upset, he very much does, and our entire relationship was a clusterfuck. but... i really dont think i like the way things ended. maybe it was what he needed to feel better about it all, but i just dont think its mature or really morally acceptable to tell off every single person thats fucked up in your life. it wasnt “you really hurt me and i dont think i can forgive you, so im not going to speak to you anymore and i want you to leave me alone” it was “youre a liar” and “you dont deserve friends if this is how you treat them” when he knew that i have a serious fear of being a shitty person. not even to mention the weird thing he did where he added me to his group chat of friends, i told him about shitty past friends that ruined gcs for me, and then as soon as i do something wrong, i get removed so he can chat shit about me to complete strangers as if im a malicious abuser out to get him specifically. im a human fucking being and actually? i dont think im going to lie down and fucking take that shit anymore. cyrus, if youre reading this, stay off of my blog and learn to communicate maturely, because that fucking hurt me too and i dont think i wil bend over backwards to try and give you reasons why im worth keeping around. im not going to beg for anything from you and all i hope for you is that you get better, get better friends, and learn to communicate with them without acting like youre telling off a monster deserving of every vile, hurtful thing you can think of saying to them. goodbye.

#i could stoop to a lower level and list all the sus shit from his end #but guess what? #im capable of understanding that hes just a human person like me that makes mistakes #and its genuinely shitty and pointless #so. heres my goodbye to a whirlwind ride of a friendship #because i plan to move on and grow #because i do deserve friends #i do deserve love #i am not an actively malicious person #just an imperfect one #but one capable of learning and changing #and i WILL get to a point where i can healthily communicate to avoid shit like this #vent #vague #and honestly not even sorry about it