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qlala · 3 years

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Hi here's my money for that Barry and Len "guilt versus shame" essay. Thanks! 💰💰💰💰💰 (I drew the dollar signs on the bags myself. I'm crafty)

Anon when I said essay, I meant essay. But alright. Here you go. for you and your hand-drawn dollar signs. Come, take this journey with me. (A journey of character analysis for fun—please, no one take this as reliable psychology.)

As I said, I consider the main conflict between Barry and Leonard not one of good versus evil, but of guilt versus shame. Specifically, the difference between them is that Barry is a character motivated by guilt, while Len is motivated by shame.

(And to get this out of the way - I’m not talking about sexuality, but how Barry and Len relate to the world and other people. I don’t think Len is the least bit ashamed of his sexuality; Wentworth Miller has always said that Len is someone who knows exactly who he is, and I think that’s true).

A more accurate way of talking might be to say that guilt-driven characters are motivated by love, while shame-driven characters are motivated by respect.

I’m going to start with Barry, because guilt-motivated characters tend to be much more straight-forward than shame-driven characters. Barry grew up (with some bumps along the way) in supportive, loving homes. His parents, and later Joe, always treated him with love, which allows Barry to love himself and other people.

Treating children with love is the most basic respect their guardians can afford them, and they’ll always have that basic core of respect to fall back on in the face of outside adversity. (Barry is remarkably hard to ruffle with insults—antagonists always have to target the people he loves, because he just… does not rise to the bait when it’s just his own pride on the line.)

This kind of early exposure to love and respect are fundamental to being able to feel guilt about harming others later in life. Barry was raised to respect and love other people (in the general, “love your fellow man” sense), so he would feel guilty if he hurt someone innocent. The core sense of self-respect and self-love that Barry developed in childhood means Barry’s sense of self can always take the hit when he feels guilty about hurting other people.

Guilt makes us feel, temporarily, unloveable. But because Barry was raised to feel fundamentally deserving of love, he can afford to feel briefly unloveable when he hurts other people—it just means he needs to make amends, and then he’ll be worthy of that love again.

That’s why Barry’s a guilt-driven (or love-driven) character: when he interacts with the world, the thing he’s most afraid of losing is love. He’s never been put in a position where he feels like what he’s missing is respect.

And that’s where he and Len differ. Len’s not guilt- or love-driven; he’s shame-driven.

Len appears to feel zero guilt for hurting innocent people, at least when we first meet him in season 1. And the reason for that is Lewis. As I mentioned, love is a prerequisite for guilt. And unlike Barry, Len wasn’t brought up in a loving home. I highly doubt that Lewis’s love for Len was ever freely given, even before he became physically abusive. And if it was, that sense of self was absolutely ripped away from Len when that abuse started.

As I mentioned, treating children with love is the most basic respect their guardians can give them. By withholding that love, Lewis taught Len that he was inherently worthy of neither love nor respect. Raised in that environment, where violence was the way Len saw power exerted over others, the natural response was for Len to seek out respect, not love. He had nothing to gain from loving others—and therefore, from feeling guilt—because he’d already been taught he could survive without love. What he couldn’t survive without was respect, because disrespect meant becoming the object of violence—first from his father, and later, from the criminal justice system.

(Prison is a conversation for another day, but suffice to say, the dehumanizing treatment incarcerated people face parallels that childhood lack of love, robs them of the self-respect and self-love they need to have healthy relationships with other people, and increases the likelihood that they’ll commit violent crimes, not reduces it).

So Len did whatever it took to survive, and survival meant accumulating respect. There’s an obvious cure to this obsession with respect, of course: 1) love, and 2) safety.

Now, as eager as I am to jump into how Barry helped Len break the cycle of violence, Barry’s not the source of love I want to talk about here. Barry comes in later; when I talk about the love that saved Leonard, I’m talking about Lisa.

Because, listen—I’m as exhausted as you are by the trope of “female loved one is male character’s humanity,” especially where, like in some of the Flash comics, it means killing off Lisa to make Leonard a more ruthless (and, I guess the the theory goes, interesting?) villain. But Lisa isn’t just some crack in Len’s armor; she fundamentally changed Len’s life when she was born.

Len was already somewhere between thirteen and sixteen by the time Lisa was born; for the sake of convenience, let’s put him around 15. (For some more detailed meta about the Sniblings' ages, check out this excellent post by @coldtomyflash). If Len was five when Lewis went to prison, and ten when Lewis came out a much more violent man (see: everything I said about prison earlier), that means Len experienced several years of incredibly traumatic treatment before Lisa was born.

He and Mick were in juvie together at least once when Len was still young enough to be “the smallest kid in there,” and Len was nearly killed. Mick saved him, yes, but the experience had to further numb Len to guilt and reinforce that violence and respect were the only real paths to survival.

And then, Lisa. Len clearly, canonically loves Lisa from the moment she’s born. We know nothing about either of their mothers (and it is pretty likely, given the 15-year age gap between them, that they have different mothers), but they’re clearly both out of the picture—Lisa says Len raised her. Len raised her! Fifteen years old, three years away from being free and clear of Lewis’s house forever, and Len stays to raise her.

Lisa is absolutely the one person keeping Len from sliding fully head-first into the path carved for him by Lewis and reinforced by the prison system. He is still primarily shame- and respect-driven—we see him kill people without any guilt, hell, he tries to derail a train with children on board in season one just to see what Barry will do.

But Lisa taught Len that he’s deserving of love and capable of loving others, and because of that, Len cannot, will not respect Lewis for his violence he rains on them both.It leaves open a door in his mind: Lisa doesn’t deserve to be treated that way, which could mean, if he could ever afford to consider it, that he didn’t deserve to be treated that way, either.

It’s why Barry is so unbelievably smug at the end of “Family of Rogues.” He’s figured it out; he wouldn’t put it in terms like guilt and shame, but he’s cracked it all the same. He always knew Len was like him, was someone who had been forced into violence by his circumstances, and now he has proof. Barry is remarkably unconcerned that Len shot Lewis; he’s briefly surprised, sure, but by the end of the episode he’s visiting Len in Iron Heights and goading him about the good in him.

And that’s where Barry comes in. He’s the crucial second ingredient to that cure for shame—he’s the safety.

He blazes into Len’s life and praises him for things no one else ever praised him for: for his morals, for his mercy, for the way he loves Lisa. He gives him an acceptable out to stop killing (he appeals to his vanity, says he’s good enough at what he does that he doesn’t need to hurt innocents, and they both know it’s an excuse), and he makes it clear that he respects not Len’s capacity for violence, but his desire to escape the need for it.

He also offers Len protection to start making that transition. Len knows, even if neither of them say it, that Barry would drop everything to help him if he called. When Len’s reluctant do-gooding puts him in harm’s way, like with King Shark in ARGUS, Barry does drop everything. He gives up a tool that could save Iris’s life to save Len’s instead. This is not me hating on westallen at all—Barry’s sense of obligation to Len is just that strong. He knows he’s put Len on slippery ground by helping extract him from the safety net he’d built himself out of violence.

And that’s Barry’s guilt drive in action—because yeah, he loves Len. He cares about him, and he respects him, and that’s love to Barry. He just wants to give Len the chance to love people that way, too. And in the end, Len, despite all his misgivings, ends up letting him.

#and then he. and then he d. he di-#i'm going to go stare into the ocean #leonard snart #barry allen #coldflash #to an extent. and that extent is that i think they should kiss on the mouth #lisa snart #the sniblings #abuse mention tw //#meta #i might get into how barry's childhood tracks a little closer to len's than i gave him credit for in this post but like #another post for another day

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allgirlsareprincesses · 5 years

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Why I need Reylo to happen and Ben Solo to live in TROS:

I have two stories to tell that will hopefully explain why I’m not neutral about the ending of The Rise of Skywalker. I mean, I’d love to temper my expectations and say that I’ll be happy no matter how it ends, but that’s not true because this story has become intensely personal for me.

Most Reylos and even many members of the general audience agree that the Sequel Trilogy is being told from a feminine perspective. Maybe you hate it and can’t stop whinging about Kathleen Kennedy’s “man-hating agenda” *eyeroll* or maybe your reaction is more F*CKING FINALLY, but either way, the centering of a female protagonist and the fact that Leia is the only surviving member of the OT trio going into TROS clearly demonstrate that it is their hopes and dreams that are driving the story. We have to ask ourselves, what does Rey want, and will she get it? What does Leia want, and will she get it?

**Major trigger warnings for abandonment, loss of parents, terminal illness, suicide mention, and loss of child. Please take care of yourself and skip this post if need be.**

Rey, we know, is an abandoned child. Left alone on a barren planet to pick through the bones of the fallen Empire, she had to fend for herself when she was at her most vulnerable, with no one to comfort her and only the delusional belief that her family would return for her to keep her going despite the intense loneliness. She did find friends in BB-8, Finn, and Han, but Han was quickly snatched away and she left poor Finn in a coma to go find Luke Skywalker. Her story was clearly unfinished by the end of The Force Awakens, her loneliness unassuaged and her growth merely beginning. If friendship were truly all she needed to be whole, then her story would have been over then.

I have a friend, whom let’s call E, an only child whose mother died of cancer when she was a teenager. Now that she is in her 30s, E’s father just passed away as well. She now finds herself orphaned, except everyone treats her like it’s not as big a deal because she’s an adult. But she has no partner, no children, no siblings, not even a roommate, and even her cat has recently passed away. The remaining family she does have is distant and seems mostly to judge her or to want her to conform to their idea of who she should be, how she should grieve, etc. E does have a few good friends, but they are all married and/or have children and this is a constant and painful reminder to E that she does NOT have a family like this. She suffers daily, furious that people act like she should be content with just friends. She tries to explain over and over that there is nothing that compares to a partner, someone with whom she could share the deepest physical and spiritual intimacy, who would choose her and be devoted to her, and into whom she could pour all of the love she has to give. She tries further to explain that even if she puts her friends first, they can’t put HER first because she is not their spouse nor their children; there is no one on earth for whom SHE comes first. E is on medication for depression and anxiety, and has had to back out of her friends’ weddings when they triggered a panic attack. As her friend, I feel powerless to help her in her bottomless loneliness, because I know I can’t give her the one thing she needs, which is the companionship of a romantic partner.

This is Rey. Scarred by the loss of her family and a lifetime without intimate companionship, she cannot be healed by friendship alone when those friends will still inevitably have families who come first. She can’t find intimacy with people who don’t relate to her infinite loneliness and feelings of worthlessness. She shouldn’t HAVE to hold parts of herself back, to give her heart but not her body, or her powers but not her soul. Rey, as the hero of the story, deserves to have what she wants most, and what she wants is a family. As an orphaned adult, the only way she will have a family is to find a soulmate, someone who will be bound to her in every way, who can give her children and hope for the future. Not every woman wants this, but many do and Rey certainly does. Rey’s journey constantly centers around LIFE and CONNECTION: she is overwhelmed by the verdant green of Takodana, and surrounded always by life-giving, feminine water. She has connections to every person she meets, but especially to Ben Solo, whom she can touch even across space and time, PHYSICALLY touch because that has meaning, more than simply seeing one another. As a character, Rey is written to experience the fullness of life with an intimate romantic partner, and there is only one person in the story who is her equal. Reylo has to happen for Rey’s journey to reach a satisfying conclusion, and for Star Wars to remain true to its message of hope.

Then there is Leia. Throughout the entire saga, she is the symbol of hope. When Padme lies dying, her children become her hope for the future. Years later, Leia carries the hope of the Rebellion as she escapes Scarif with the Death Star plans. She brings hope to her brother Luke. Her hope helps her rescue Han Solo from Jabba the Hutt, and then again help the Rebellion to victory on Endor. Her hope helps build the new Republic, found the Resistance, search for Luke, beg Han to reach their son, and continue leading the Resistance even when they are beaten and dwindling.

And through it all, Leia has suffered loss after loss.... after loss. Her parents, childhood friends, home, everything and everyone she ever knew or loved.... were snuffed out in an instant when Alderaan was destroyed. That’s honestly a loss on a scale that is unimaginable. It’s like being made an orphan a thousand times over, because everything that might have been a happy memory is gone. She suffered repeated losses throughout the Galactic Civil War, and saw many soldiers go to their deaths. Her son was lost to the Dark Side, her brother abandoned her, her husband left, and then her son killed her husband. Next, she lost more loyal soldiers, and when Luke suddenly returned, he passed away, too. Given all of that, what does Leia still want? What COULD she still want?

For years, I have followed a blogger on social media. Let’s call her L. Like E, her life has been marked by loss: she never knew her father, had an absent and abusive mother, became pregnant at a young age by a man who did not stay with her, and so was a single teenaged mother of a baby boy by the time she was seventeen. L experienced failed romances, had more children, stepchildren, and grandchildren, and experienced several of those children pulling away from her. Finally, her beloved aunt and uncle, who had cared for her throughout her difficult childhood and were more like parents to her, passed away within the same year. Only a few months later, her eldest son, now a young man, committed suicide at home.

Many people choose to grieve privately. L did not, and her pain.... there really aren’t words. I felt that I could not turn away, that I had to witness what she shared and know, even a little bit, the depths of human suffering. I have a young son, and as I watched L share pictures of her little boy around a similar age.... I could only think that none of us is immune from such loss. At any moment, our children could be snatched away in the cruelest of ways, and what would we not do to bring them back? Worse, if possible, for L was acknowledging the historic family cycles of trauma that had contributed to her son’s despair. She found herself asking if she shared any responsibility for his death, and wondering if she had failed him as a mother. She knew on a conscious level that his choices were his own, but still the doubt and guilt gnawed at her. Agony upon agony, sorrow upon sorrow, a horrible unending night.

L is very religious. Understandably, she had a crisis of faith after her son’s death, not least because she did not know if his suicide meant they would be separated even in eternity. She studied, prayed, and consulted with spiritual advisors for years, and eventually concluded that his soul is not in her hands, and so all she can do is hope. She will pray and hope that he is waiting for her in heaven, and live her life in such a way that she will be reunited with him after death. L still has doubts and moments of deep darkness, especially as she sees the painful ripples from her son’s loss spread into her marriage, her children’s lives, her grandchildren’s lives. But she survives with hope for reunion, and I believe in a benevolent God who will give her her heart’s desire.

Star Wars MUST give Princess Leia Organa, its avatar of hope, the one remaining wish of her heart. When everything and everyone else in the galaxy whom she has loved has been taken from her, she MUST have this one thing. Her hope for her beloved son Ben must not be in vain. The Force has to reward Leia with everything she desires for Ben: his return to the Light, his return to life, the joy and love which every mother wishes for her child. For all that the Skywalker family has suffered in their long darkness, their last son must live the full life they have all been denied. And Leia - Daughter, Princess, Leader, Lover, Mother - must have the ultimate victory. Nothing else will satisfy.

I know this all sounds very melodramatic but I don’t give a damn. E and L deserve the fantasy wish fulfillment that may not be granted them in this life. Star Wars, at its best, can do this, and that’s why I love it.

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the-loststone · 5 years

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The Tragedy of Daenerys

So to start off, I do want to say I’ve read a lot of comments and analysis of Daenerys’ character, both in the books and in the shows, so I’ll be referencing many of those.

Daenerys is a phenomenal character. She’s one of the greatest literary characters and on screen you can’t help but admire her. She’s done so many incredible things. She survived the Dothraki and earned their respect and love. She freed thousands of slaves and earned their loyalty and devotion. She survived abuse from her brother and being on the run throughout her childhood. She’s someone who the minute we are introduced to her, we sympathize with her. We pity her and then grow to admire her strength.

It’s a clear change from other female characters when first introduced in the series. We either hate Cersei the moment we meet her, feel compassion for Catelyn’s grief, adore Arya’s grit and rebellious nature, or are annoyed with Sansa’s preteen behavior. Daenerys is a clear favorite among many when compared.

So that’s why we are frustrated to see this change in direction in the shows. But it is sadly the direction they have always intended on going. D&D are on their final season and they are clearly rushing things, and packing as much in as possible. Their mistake is not giving us enough time to really see the transition of Daenerys going from liberator to conqueror. We see instances of it in other seasons, but it is subtle so many people brush it off. Who cares that she doesn’t respect Meereenese when they were slavers, or that her attitude of the end justifies the means isn’t really cohesive with her agenda to break the wheel.

But the truth has been staring at us in the face the entire time. Daenerys is a conqueror. She learned to lead from the Dothraki, and while she rightly was against the atrocities they committed (in the show more than in the books) she still exemplifies their nomadic behavior.

Her character has a background of seeking home. At one point we thought it was with the Dothraki, but then Drogo dies and the comet that appears when the eggs hatch gives her a new purpose/destination. From there she keeps moving. All the while, her goal is to the Iron Throne/Westeros. A place that she’s never actually been, and knows little about besides what she heard from her brother. But it’s her last tie to what she believes is home and family (especially since the house with the red door isn’t something she believes she can return to).

She passes through cities, liberating slaves in Astapor and Yunkai, before settling for a moment in Meereen. The decision to settle in Meereen is based on the fact that she learns the cities she did liberate have fallen to chaos. So she stays to try to rule. Only she’s frustrated because she believes this isn’t her purpose. Daily governance isn’t what she believes she should be doing, and her eye is constantly on the horizon, towards Westeros.

And that’s the tragedy.

In Meereen, she had a purpose. She was bring freedom to slaves, she had the love of the people, the love of a man. Peace was something she could achieve if she applied herself. If she started acting less like a conqueror and more like the queen she claims she is. She could have had everything she wanted. But she rejects it for the illusion of a place that had moved on without her.

Arriving in Westeros, she was not foolish enough to believe that she would be greeted by the common folk with open arms like her brother was. However, she continues her quest for the throne because that is what she believes is her destiny.

But the main issue is this: there are no slaves to free in Westeros. There is only the terrible legacy her father and house left her with.

So Daenerys realizes (her advisors tell her) she can’t pull an Aegon the Conqueror on the people, because then that will just make them unite against her as it would confirm she’s there to reestablish the same pattern of either madness or greatness that her ancestors did (and madness usually was something people remembered more than greatness). But she’s there to convince them she will break the wheel, end the cycle of tyranny. Only she’s using dragons and intimidation to do it. Using the “live in my new world, or die in your old one” slogan that she used in Meereen. And Jon said it himself (paraphrasing) that you’re not something new if people are afraid of you.

So why are we still on her side. Because she’s not entirely wrong. The Tarly’s, for instance took up arms against her, killed her allies and are with her enemies. But they were her prisoners and she chose to execute them when they didn’t kneel. Right now everyone is pissed at Cersei for killing Missandei (and rightly, fuck Cersei), but Missandei didn’t kneel to Cersei, they took up arms against her and etc. Hindsight, would have been great for a trade of hostages if either of them were still alive. But that’s one of the things about game of thrones that people need to remember (and that D&D did admittedly kind of drop the ball on it in S7), actions have consequences. And Daenerys, thanks to her dragons, hasn’t felt the consequences of many of her actions for a while.

But we are still on her side because we know she’s not evil. She certainly didn’t start that way. And she just help save the North, despite their frosty attitude towards her and her people. Which is another distinction. She doesn’t consider the people of Westeros HER people. The ones who follow her are, but everyone else is either an ally or an enemy. She’s still not familiar enough with Westeros to properly call it that. Or to even call it home. (Something she said upon arriving on Dragonstone is that it didn’t feel like home despite her expectations, and she hopes arriving in the Red Keep would. But why? Both are Targaryen holdfasts, so why would the Red Keep be home and Dragonstone isn’t?)

This season we’ve only seen Daenerys lose. It’s not something we’re used to. She’s alienated by the people, her closest advisors are dead, her Westerosi advisors doubt her, and two of her children are dead. She’s falling on a path that many are uncomfortable with, and we’re wondering why the change of pace, why let Cersei have more victories right now. But Cersei fell down this path too (at least in the show, the books is TBD). Yes we hated her the entire time, but she lost her children, she’s gone absolutely insane with grief, and lust for power that had been beyond her reach for most of her life. She’s been obsessed with the Iron Throne most of her life because she thinks it will bring her the happiness she wants and the control over her life, just like Daenerys. And it’s sad.

Even if Daenerys wins, she’ll be completely changed by these events, what she had to go through to achieve the Iron Throne that she’ll be unhinged. Even if she hadn’t endured that loss, Daenerys wouldn’t have found the home or happiness she wanted on the Iron Throne. Westeros is too vast, the people are too different from one another, different cultures everywhere, that it can’t be ruled effectively by one person. This is why there have been so many rebellions during the Targaryen rule, and why the North wants its independence. The Iron Throne is toxic and kingdoms deserve their independence. No matter Daenerys’ intentions of creating a new form of governance (one which the show has never actually given us an actual description of or even really talked about besides ‘breaking the wheel’) it can’t be done with all 7 kingdoms unified under one banner. And with Daenerys’ struggles in Meereen, it will be even harder with 7 kingdoms to manage, something I personally don’t think she’s capable of.

I saw a review (can’t remember who but it was on Youtube and after episode 4) that compared Daenerys to Anakin Skywalker. I think that’s really true. Anakin was a good child, he was raised a slave, treated brutally, emotionally abused by the Jedi order when he was constantly told he was too emotional and to suppress his nature. He experienced his mother dying in his dreams for weeks and told to ignore it and when he finally couldn’t he held his mother die in his arms. He becomes obsessed with never having to experience that again and determine to grow more powerful to avoid it, only to fulfill the next prophecy by being a leading cause to his secret wife’s death and murdering a bunch of children. ... I still love Anakin and I love the trashbag that is Darth Vader, no matter how much of a complete drama queen psychopath that guy is. Just as I love Daenerys and even when she becomes unhinged I’ll still love her to some respect but I can’t hide from myself that this has been her journey.

Are D&D rushing it, most certainly. I would have liked maybe another few seasons so we can actually see the progression more clearly instead of having her lose everything in a matter of weeks (show times it was minutes for us). But I’ve accepted the inevitable a while ago (something I think more people would if they read the books too.)

By the way, it’s okay to love a conqueror if you want. Just maybe don’t be in denial about it and paint her out to be some innocent victim in everything. Because she’s not.

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obfuscobble · 5 years

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SO I got my hands on the Japan Animator Expo 2015 collection and I thought it a good time to rate each short because I have some very concise opinions.

1. Dragon Dentist 4/5 Girl volunteers to be a dragon's dentist in the midst of a war. Inventive, compelling, beautiful. Works incredibly well as a short, managing to tell a story far longer than its timeframe without leaving us wondering what happened or what will happen. A very strong start to the collection.

2. Hill Climb Girl 3/5 Girl wants to be a great bicyclist, and the first step is beating her friend up the hill to school. Pretty good for cel-shaded computer modelling. If you like Yowamushi Pedal, you'll like this. Not stand-out but it's an endearing.

3. ME!ME!ME! 4/5 Boy gets dunked on by his own objectification of women. A truly stand out music video not just for this collection but within the genre. That said, you do have to rewatch it closely to glean its themes and true place as a condemnation of misogyny as seen through the self empowerment male fantasies used by the boy to combat his own misogynistic fear of female desire and deep shame over his otaku life. And there is quite a lot of female objectification in his life.

4. Carnage 3/5 Gunslinging girl seeks revenge for her family and her arm. Great attention paid to the one armed gunslinging. The conclusion openly and somberly lays out what will happen next as this old town must pay for its sins, even if it perpetuates the cycle of girls losing those they love.

5. Gundam key animation 1/5 Literally the key animation drawings from Gundam shown side to side with the classic footage. Pretty cool for animation nerds and gundam fans but otherwise not really compelling as a storytelling vehicle. I have to take off points on that account, but it is really worth a watch to see the keys.

6. 20 min from Nishi Ogikubo Station 0/5 not actually 20 min long. Just kidding! 4/5 woman turns into a cockroach, much to man's dismay. The sketchy art style, soft colouring, and jittery movement add perfectly to the piece's theme, making them obviously intentional choices. The piece is still fluidly put together, with inventive plays on human/cockroach interaction and the how's of being so small. The woman as cockroach is envisioned naked, but I feel that this is presented in a naturalistic (ie she just shrunk out of her clothes) and not at all prurient way. Didn't think I was going to like it as much as I did!

7. until You come to me 1/5 Oh Shinji boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling. Shinji silently misses Kaworu or five minutes. I mean I don't blame him but... Nothing happens, and if one has no inkling about Evangelion, this short has absolutely NO meaning.

8. Tomorrow from There 3/5 Woman avoids responsibilities, calls from her mom, and the creeping sense of adult dread, until she reconnects with her inner sense of joy. A wonderful counterpoint to ME!ME!ME! that focuses on universal human fears and dilemmas, without objectifying women. Uplifting with a powerul backing song. But I have to be honest and say that its visuals aren't going to stick with me as powerfully.

9. Electronic Superhuman Gridman 3/5 You are a human with the capacity for joy and wonder, so you will appreciate this heartfelt ode to super sentai live action and robot anime. Comes complete with character design details to reflect the rubber suits and even the tiny screw to hold on the back of a model's head. Has nice internal logic about the Gridman.exe who fights monsters with the power of the electrical grid, such as circuit power ups and smashing a tv screen to get at the enemy. Even for those unfamiliar with the tropes, it's just a fun 6 minutes.

10. Yamadeloid 3/5 An ode to historical fighter anime with neat brush-line visuals and fitting soundtrack. But it just didn't grab me by my heart's cockles like Gridman did, probably coming entirely down to what shows I grew up on. It was also a lot more fourth wall breaking, which is entirely subjective for one's enjoyment, even from one short to another as you'll see. So I'd like to give it a 2, but I know that nostalgia was the only thing inflating Gridman to a 3, so I'll be fair.

11. Power Plant No 33 2/5 What if we just... turned off our millenial facebook phones... and really lived.... yanno? The instantly gripping visuals of a society powered by a beast that creates electricity, which must then go on to fight a space robot, are immediately undermined by the totes not subtle digs against modern technology. I get it, technology is literally a destructive beast. I get it, we should unplug and learn to live freely. The animation was great but the moral was giving me the feeling that I should get off a luddite's lawn.

12. Evangelion Another Impact Confidential 2/5 Tall woman looks for her daughter, finds hostile wasteland. But what a woman!

13. Kanón 3/5 A Japanese take on a Slavic philosophic parody of Jewish folk mythology, or, "On Solipsism." Actually fascinating as a piece. It moves very very quickly though, leaving little time for the jokes and philosophy to set in, but I feel the frantic pace was meant to reinforce the confused, overworked, utterly helpless feelings that the main character was experiencing. The fourth wall break right at the end completely charmed me and even elevated the piece. Loses points for the inherent misogyny of the novel it was based on, but otherwise worth a watch for the curious, and one of the most interesting Japanese takes on Judaeo-Christian tradition I've seen.

14. Sex & Violence with Machspeed 0/5 Just because you admit that you're being gross for gross' sake doesn't mean you're not gross. Look I could get into it, but I just hated this one. If you liked Panty and Stocking, maybe give it a try.

15. Obake-chan 3/5 A series of charming shorts about a girl who wants to be a spoopy ghost.

16. Tokio of the Moon's Shadow 4/5 Boy who has, I goddamn assure you, THE. SHINIEST. eyes in the universe saves earth and his radio penpal from a space creature. Come for the innovative mix of animation styles, stay for the dance sequence. Just watch it.

17. Three Fallen Witnesses 2/5 Ambition: the Anime. Like seriously, this is the 3d animation equivalent of the Ambition games. It's also a very ambitious premise, based on prosecuting attorneys using "DNA time travel" to gain evidence on a murder case. Alas, I really feel it should have had longer to play in its world and the case itself.

18. The Diary of Ochibi 3/5 Edible stop motion is here!

19. I Can Friday by Day! 5/5 Tiny space squirrels fight tiny space rabbits, each piloting robot teenagers. Highly creative, wondrously fun, and yet with a good plot and even characterisation to hold it together past the visuals. I'd love to see this as a short series, as I feel the premise, world, and character sketches could easily be filled out into a humourous and yet compelling larger narrative.

20a. ME!ME!ME! Chronic 1/5 Basically a remix. Lacking the narrative of the original hurts it because then its just boobs and yonic symbolism and the guns that shoot them. Still good music.

20b. The Making of Evangelion Another Impact Confidential 1/5 Interesting if you want to see how the short was designed and technically compiled.

21. Iconic Field 2/5 Never try to fit 13 episodes into 6 minutes. This is obviously angling to become a longer syndicated series but not only did they rush too many of their ideas and subplots into it, but they obviously ran out of money and production time. Some shots are replaced with concept sketches, and there was no voice acting when clearly it was intended to be present. It's creative in its character and mecha design, but the plot is another riff on the seeded earth hypothesis whose unanimated conclusion you can still see a mile away.

22. On a Gloomy Night Nippon Banzai! Nippon Banzai! Nippon Banzai! Nippon Banzai! Nippon Banzai! Nippon Banzai! Nippon Banzai! Nippon Banzai! Nippon Banzai! 1/5 Never try to fit 13 episodes into 6 minutes using Auld Lang Syne as your backing track.

23. Memoirs of Amorous Gentlemen 1/5 Honestly not sure how to classify this one. It's about a sex worker, it's presented with a quite effective animation style, but in the end it's all about the sex worker accepting abuse from another as her tragic role in the world. Ehn.

24. Rapid Rouge 4/5 In the world of the techno-daimyo, there is only loss. BRILLIANT use of a limited colour palette. Loses one point due to not fully delivering on the emotional character-sacrifice punch it wanted and for being unartfully open ended. If it delivers on a second episode like it promises, I might amend my opinion. It was so close to being perfect, yet didn't manage to get me to care enough about its characters in its short run time, unlike...

25. Hammerhead 5/5 Highly violent, yes, but emotionally impactful to the extreme; I cried both times I've watched it. Update: three times. Wonderful traditional animation, powerful emotional centre, and perhaps the best animation I've ever seen to portray a human's physical demeanour in deep emotional distress. I absolutely recommend watching this.

26. Conte Hitman 3/5 Manzai routine with clever twists and turns. Porque no los dos, the sketch.

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julystorms · 6 years

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Hello! How do you think the Survey Corps handle unplanned pregnancies within their ranks? Especially, let’s say, if they are people with positions— like squad leaders. I really wanna know your thoughts on this :D

Sorry, I promise I wasn’t ignoring your first ask! I just wantedto find the time to respond properly. For the longest time I had a drafted metapost about this topic (“Pregnancy & Disability in the Survey Corps”) that Ioccasionally added to when I had a thought. I think I deleted it when I purgedmy drafts, though. Oops!

I definitely have a lot of thoughts on the topic. This is a really long post; there are a lot of things to consider with a question like this!

Let me start by saying this: I feel that strong worldbuilding isprimarily a result of consistency. I know SnK’s worldbuilding is, overall,rather weak, but there’s no reason we as creators can’t force consistency intoour own narrative explorations of that world! A consistent set of rules for thecharacters to operate under make for a better experience overall, not just inthe canon, but also for readers/viewers of fanworks. You can always switch thingsup for fun, but I personally like to have one particular set of rules that I useby default. It makes it easier for me as a writer to sink down into the storyand portray it without having to think too hard about every little detail as Igo.

One of the most interestingthings about SnK is that it portrays a sexist world but still allows women intothe ranks of its military branches—all three of them. However, we generallydon’t see women in positions of power: there are no female government members,no powerful merchants, no notable members of the aristocracy, and no confirmedtop female officers*.

*Rico is the closest we get,but she doesn’t seem any higher-ranked than Ian or Mitabi were, and is clearly outrankedby Kitz, so she doesn’t count. Hange is the only POSSIBLE high-ranked femaleofficer in the entire series, but “possible” =/= “actual” so again, no-go.

Boris accuses Hitch of(essentially) using her femininity in an underhanded way to get into the MP; asI’ve said before, we don’t know if he’s right or if he’s just trying to be anasshole because he doesn’t like Hitch, but I think it’s fair to say that thiskind of misogyny is something that women in SnK’s military face on the regular,especially if they perform on par with male classmates. Hell, this is somethingwomen who work in male dominated fields face daily in our world. It doesn’t surprise me. Isayama’s not portraying autopia with this series, after all. But it’s clear he didn’t put a lot ofthought into the little things: like sexism/misogyny in the military and how itwould clearly impact the lives of the girls and young women who enlist.

I don’t think it makessense to say: SnK’s world is 100% reliable and the narration we receive is 100%credible. We don’t see what happens to our female characters behind-the-scenes.We don’t see if they’re treated differently by their instructors, teachers,trainers—in front of peers or alone. We don’t see if any of them werepropositioned for sex or other favors. We don’t know that team leaders in theSurvey Corps, Military Police, and Garrison don’t abuse their positions of relativepower over new recruits. We have to assume that in an imperfect and clearly sexistworld, these kinds of things do happen, and some people aren’t left with a lotof choice as to how to deal with it. What would Hitch be able to do if hercommanding officer (Eibringer IIRC) propositioned her or touched her or [insertother possibilities here]? Who is she going to tell? Will they believe her? Andwhat are the chances that saying something would tank her career in the MP? Shedid all that work to get into the MP; would she risk doing something now that might get it taken away again? Yeah, saying nothing means putting up with abuse, but if she doesn’t disturb thewater, so to speak, she’ll have a long career that pays well ahead of her—somethingmost people on Paradis don’t get to have. These are the little details thatweren’t considered but do mean agreat deal when you’re writing about the daily ins and outs of the world thesecharacters live in.

Which brings me topregnancy, sex, and all related topics. I’ve seen writers use various kinds oftea as “birth control.” I’ve seen authors use oral sex or the pull-out methodto try and avoid the possibility of pregnancy. Some characters track theircycle (assuming for them it’s reliable enough to be tracked) as a form of birthcontrol. And look, all of these are perfectly valid and all are very likelyused in the world of SnK. Not all of them work. There may not be many herbalremedies that are effective; there may not be many that are readily or cheaplyavailable. These are the things to think about. Just because someone claims itworks doesn’t mean it does. The characters have to contend with that!

And because no methodexcept abstinence is 100% effective, some characters are going to get pregnant—andnot just in the Survey Corps.

This world is sexist. Youhave to consider whether or not the Garrison or MP would allow for pregnantsoldiers to stay enlisted and you have to think about what would happen after ababy was born. Think carefully. Yes, it seems feasible to work and raise achild, especially on the Military Police’s paygrade. But would it be allowed? Again, we don’t see hardly any femalecharacters in a position of power, and the ones we do see aren’t shown to bemarried or have children.

Think, too, about thepopulation, and about the world’s belief that humanity is going extinct insidethe walls. All of these things affect the mindset of the general population:how they feel about women, what they feel a woman’s job/place in the world is,and so on. Notice that in background shots, you see women carrying babies,groceries, with their children, and always wearing skirts. Chances are, womenare wives, daughters, housekeepers, and babymakers first and foremost, andworking women (women who don’t have a choice and/or are yet unmarried) do “lowerwork” and probably not for much money (laundry for better-off folks, shellingnuts, simple factory tasks, sewing/darning, waitressing, prostitution).

All right, so…with these considerationsin mind, let’s talk about pregnancy.

There’s a lot to thinkabout when it comes to someone in the military of SnK’s world getting pregnant.Is it considered shameful to get pregnant out of wedlock? Seems kind of thatway, re: Historia’s awful mother and cheating father. Nobody blinks an eye atmen having affairs but women are another story. What are their optionsregarding birth? Are midwives easy to find? Doctors who can make a differentsure seem rare (re: Grisha showing up and magically being able to help people;Ragako Village letting some quack come in and inject them all without oncequestioning it)! Midwives who are trained and experienced? Expensive andprobably not easy to come by. You’re probably going to be stuck with anotherwoman who has given birth before helping you out, and if something out of the ordinaryhappens, you or your baby could die. Because of this, abortion may be anoption, but what kinds of choices do these people have? The old coat-hangerroutine (that can easily end with death when the bleeding doesn’t stop and isextremely painful)? Herbal remedies that might have side-effects that you can’thide/that may spell the end for your career?

If we assume that pregnancyand childbirth are a free pass out of the military, it will be abused. Therehave to be measures in place that would make a person want to avoid pregnancy.Is it a dishonorable discharge? Do you have to pay a fee? Do you have to givethe baby up for adoption? These sorts of things would discourage a lot ofpeople who might otherwise benefit from having a baby. The Survey Corps alsohas a built-in discouragement: your lover dying and leaving you alone with ababy to raise. But then, what’s to stop them from crippling themselves to getout? It wouldn’t be that hard to drive a sword through your own foot and makeit look like an accident. (No doubt doing this on purpose is treasonous andpunishable by death, just like running away/disobeying orders if doing soyields bad results.) The only way to keep that in check is to assume that itwould be hard for them to find work if they were too disabled. Maybe for somepeople it would be worth it, but others…not so much.

Being realistic, losingyour post in the Military Police would be discouragement enough; characterslike Hitch who are young and wanted very much to get in and stay in are likelyto avoid pregnancy like hell; any man who got her pregnant could deny it andwhat recourse would she have if he refused to acknowledge her and help her? Theydon’t have paternal testing in this world. And she’s not a high-rankedrespected member of the military: she’d be out of a job with two mouths to feedand no experience in anything but military training! That’s terrifying. In manyways, that serves as its own form of birth control. (But we can’t pretend thatmen don’t abuse their positions of power in the military and push themselves onwomen anyway. We can’t pretend that characters like Hitch can always say no and have that norespected. She’s going to be thought of as disposable to many people.)

The Garrison is a littlebit more interesting. They’re not hurting for soldiers, so if a few women hereand there decide to get pregnant and leave the military, there will be plentyof replacements to take their places. It’s possible that the Garrison forcesyou to quit but it’s not looked on so poorly. It’s also possible that if you’rerespected or liked enough, or you know the right people, you might be allowedto keep working doing administrative work. Hey, being a paper-pusher might notpay as well as scouting on top of the walls or cleaning artillery, but at leastit’s work if you need it. And if you’re single: you will. Plus, since yourstation is permanent, you could have your parents move in with you to help withthe kid and maintain a full-time job without too many issues. Hell, because it’snot so terrible a crime, or even a crime at all, you can probably speedily getmarried and avoid too much gossip. (That’s not to say that people aren’t kickedright out of the Garrison for getting pregnant, but there’s probably more roomfor the well-liked and hard-working individuals to stay on after giving birth.The MP are elites and may view pregnancy out of wedlock (possibly also workingwives) as imperfect and therefore not okay. Garrison soldiers are not elitesand don’t have those kinds of delusions or grand appearances to keep up.

That brings me to theSurvey Corps. How many people join only to regret it a few months later? A babyseems a small price to pay compared to being eaten by a titan, trampled, orworse, mangled so badly you’re permanently disabled & discharged from themilitary—left with no way to care for yourself (except to maybe rely onrelatives if you have any to take care of you). Like I said earlier, if havinga baby was a free ticket out of the Survey Corps, people would be trying for iton purpose. There must be rules in place: dishonorable discharge,fraternization rules with stiff penalties, a steep fee you have to pay toleave, you’re forced to stay in the military and give up the baby for adoption.One or several of these would work well.

That said, giving up a babyfor adoption seems fine, but this is a world where the population is both “toosmall” and “way too big” (ugh…). It makes sense in its own way, but there areprobably tons of homeless children out there like Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, who didn’t join the military. There areprobably lots of young women in poverty with babies they can’t take care of,dropping them off at churches and on the porches of slightly better off people—maybeeven at military HQ buildings. That makes that option feel…a lot less likelyIMO.

I want to look at anexample. Let’s say Nanaba and Mike are in a relationship and she finds out thatshe’s pregnant. Now, Mike’s a decent person, right? He won’t deny his role inNanaba’s pregnancy. In that way, she’s luckier than some women would be, butshe still has to tell him, still has to deal with his reaction. It’s her bodybut her options kind of all suck, so it might be nice for her to discuss itwith him and get his opinion, too. How far along does she think she is, howsafe are abortion methods, would she be comfortable aborting, what are theside-effects of trying something like that—arethe risks worth it? If they are, she has to try one of them, and theoutcome could be: hey, she can return to work in a few days (everyone probablyknows why she wasn’t around, tbh). It could also just as easily be: she triesto return to work and can’t due to side-effects of an herbal remedy or becauseher body is too weak, or she hemorrhages and dies within 24 hours, or she doesreturn to work but the side-effects linger and cause her death on an expedition—orworse, they cause someone else’s death.

So maybe she decides tokeep the baby. Mike cares about her, he won’t abandon her to raise a baby alonewith no help, but where is she going to live? With her parent(s)? His? Alone?What if neither of them have living parents? Or, as portrayed in the anime,what if her parent(s) are abusive? Is she going to take her baby back to aplace like that? Does she have much of a choice?

Maybe she does. Maybe Mike’sparents will be happy to have her live with them. Mike can send them money. Heonly gets furlough at most 4x a year so they get to see each other a few timesa year for a few days/a week. This could depend on how far away they live, somaybe Mike uses some savings to move them closer so that visiting can happen onweekends or afternoons off. Cool. Great.

If Mike is 40, his parentsare likely to be 60+ years old and maybe not in the greatest health. This worlddoesn’t exactly allow for easy aging, you know. Are they working? Is Mikepaying all the bills himself? Well, what’ll happen when Mike eventually dies oris hurt so badly he can’t fight anymore and is sent home to die or lay arounduselessly?

Nanaba has to sit at homeand think about that kind of stuff. What if Mike dies? She can’t help him, can’tbe there for him; she’s just at home waiting for the news. It’s possible he’lldie before their kid is very old and won’t remember him at all. How are thebills going to be paid? Are his parents capable of watching the kid if Nanabahas to try and go to work herself?

It’s scary no matter howyou slice it.

And that’s not includingthe potential dishonorable discharge, payment of a high fee for leaving, andpossibly even a paycut for the remaining spouse if they fess up to their rolein it (all of which make raising a baby even more difficult).

You would think thispotential future (or worse, depending on circumstance) would promote abstinence(or at least methods of sex that have no chance for pregnancy)—and it probablydoes…but not in everyone. A lot of people enjoy sex, and mistakes happen; somepeople may just get carried away but others may have too much to drink or lackthe foresight to consider what may happen to them if they do get pregnant.

The problem here is that it’swomen who primarily suffer the consequences of a pregnancy. It’s women who losetheir position in the military. It’s women who can be pushed around or abusedby male peers or superior officers and women who won’t be trusted or believedif they complain. And it sucks, but in the world we’re presented with in the canon…itfits. And it leaves us to wonder how many women this happens to. How many arepassed over for promotion because they’re women (and considered likely toleave/want to leave/or less-than their male counterparts)?

It really makes you think!

I know I didn’t give you adefinitive answer to your question, anon, but I hope that there was enoughspeculation here to help you come up with your own headcanons (while alsogiving you a good idea of what mine might be). ;)

The usual disclaimer: IMO, YMMV, et cetera and so on.

To add, I didn’t really talk a whole lot about pregnancies as a product of rape or of a loving relationship where the man denies his part in it, but a lot of the same things apply.

Lastly, I don’t want readers to think that men can get away with anything in the SnK world; I don’t actually think that’s the case. But like in our own world, a patriarchal society makes it hard for women to feel safe speaking up, with the result being that very few women do. The problem with SnK is that there aren’t many ways to prove that what you’re saying is true; if you say you’re pregnant, you can’t prove who the father is unless by some miracle that baby comes out looking like them (and that would truly be a mixed blessing anyway). If you’re not a respected officer who will believe you? If you’re accusing a respected officer, or worse, accusing someone who is married with children already, do you think anybody will be on your side? I do think some men are caught in the act, or there is proof of some kind (love letters clearly written by them); sometimes they’re even brought to court and prosecuted for crimes and fired or sent to jail or fined (and forced to pay some compensation to the mother-to-be in the case of a child). But how often do these things end in favor of the women involved? Probably not often. With rape it’s: “Boys will be boys.” “What were you wearing?” “Well you can’t blame him... you’re a healthy, attractive young woman.” How many women say something and are faced with these kinds of things? In court, even? Women still hear some of these things today. In a modern society. And with men who would choose to run from their responsibilities instead of facing them like an adult, the women involved still have to deal with the emotional betrayal and all of the other fallout.

It’d be kind of silly to imagine that a fantasy world that clearly functions as a patriarchal society wouldn’t be almost exactly the same in this regard.

#snk #snk hour with july #snk meta #tw: abuse #tw: rape #tw: pregnancy #for the record i think the results in the SC are the same #no matter what your position is #i doubt the rules there bend for more important people #cute anons

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trendingnewsb · 6 years

Text

‘Good men’ don’t exist

Good men are a myth.

There are men who do good things. There are men who, by comparison to terrible men, seem pretty good. But categorizing and holding up certain men as unquestionably perfect doesn’t do us any good—especially if we want to reckon with why men behave badly, violently even.

If you need proof of how hero worship has failed us, just look at the recent wave of sexual harassment allegations hitting the mainstream news cycle (or really, just read through #MeToo on any social platform). The men being named aren’t just open secrets like Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey. Women have come forward to say women’s activist Sen. Al Franken groped them. The face of journalistic integrity, Charlie Rose, was fired by CBS and PBS after eight women said he sexually harassed them. And then there’s Holocaust survivor and author of the book every child was taught to uphold as Great Literature, Elie Wiesel, who reportedly groped a young woman’s rear while taking a photo.

Fundamentally, these men were seen as good, and now that we’ve found out they are not, we don’t know what to make of their work that we admired. But maybe we wouldn’t be in this predicament if we didn’t assume these guys were solid people simply because of their known contributions. What if we didn’t come in with that assumption? What if we just accepted that good men are a myth?

Toxic masculinity muddies the good

When we used to think about men like Wiesel, Rose, or even George Takei, we looked at these men with childlike wonder. They were not just heroes; they could do no wrong. When was the last time Takei slipped up on Twitter? How could Rose exist as anything other than a journalistic legend? When men are good, they’re seen as powerful father figures that deserve our unconditional love and trust. Their public goodness clearly represents their moral character.

But as any fifth grader will tell you, character is built by what people do behind closed doors, not out in the open. And what we know about toxic masculinity suggests there are a lot of terrible things that happen at the hands of men behind closed doors.

One survey of college men revealed that 31.7 percent of respondents would engage in “intentions to force a woman to sexual intercourse” if the possibility arose; 13.6 percent had straightforward “intentions to rape a woman” if they could get away with it, HuffPost reports. And these are just the men who feel comfortable enough to answer truthfully.

It’s easy to see in more obvious unbalanced power dynamics, like producers handpicking actresses in the film industry, that men are given plenty of opportunities to “force a woman to sexual intercourse.” But this also happens in the power dynamics of simply being male vs. female—of being taught to get your way by all means necessary vs. being taught that standing up for yourself often gets you only punished further.

Statistics from the University of Michigan reveal that one in 12 college men have committed sexual acts that fit the legal criteria of rape, even though 84 percent don’t consider their actions to be sexual assault. In short, while not all men self-report an inclination to commit sexual assault, a sizable amount are eager to do so and have never considered what consent means or the consequences of their actions.

Surprise! The answer is that we do, and we must, regard all men as potential monsters to be feared. That's why we cross to the other side of the street at night, and why we sometimes obey when men say "Smile, honey!" We are always aware the alternative could be death. https://t.co/hvgT7c5GBa

— Monica Hesse (@MonicaHesse) November 20, 2017

In 2012, rapists turned to Reddit to explain why they rape women. Most men claimed they “didn’t understand what had happened” because they received mixed messages. Others blamed “blue balls.” Some simply saw women as objects. In many cases, attempted rapists just didn’t understand they were doing something wrong.

“I’m a good man,” one man said. “I have a wife and a couple of kids now and I’m a good father and husband. I’m a pretty moral guy. But I think the thing that has always stuck with me…is how close I came to actually doing it. If I hadn’t looked up at her face and seen what she was feeling, I might have continued .”

There’s a running theme here. In each story, the rapists (or attempted rapists) felt entitled to women’s bodies. Whether through “raging hormones” or “mixed messages,” men assumed women were supposed to be sexually available if men felt sexually aroused. Women were there to please men.

What we know about toxic masculinity explains a lot about why these sexual assaults happen. If you’re unfamiliar with the term, Dr. NerdLove calls toxic masculinity a “narrow and restrictive band of behavior, belief, and appearance” that forces men to become “emotionally repressed” and “sexually aggressive almost to the point of mindlessness.” And while toxic masculinity often pops up through predatory and misogynistic behavior, “good men” can act toxic in much smaller ways, too.

Entitlement to women, more often than not, comes down to violating everyday boundaries. Ever heard of manspreading? Whether in New York City’s subway system or international airlines, men across the world regularly take up too much space on public transit. Or worse, women are often forced to put up with men pressing their thighs, arms, butts, and fronts against our bodies in confined spaces.

Any woman who has ever worked in a male-dominated workplace is certainly more than familiar with mansplaining, where men condescendingly explain basic concepts to experienced women working in the field in question. It’s the same sort of unquestioned, unchecked entitlement that causes men to speak over women in meetings, at times even stealing their ideas and claiming them as their own. Astronomer and professor Nicole Gugliucci calls this “hepeating,” and it explains a lot the kind of environment in which sexual harassment is incubated. Women, again, aren’t seen as equals, but as accessories whose minds and bodies are owed to men.

My friends coined a word: hepeated. For when a woman suggests an idea and it's ignored, but then a guy says same thing and everyone loves it

— Nicole Gugliucci (@NoisyAstronomer) September 22, 2017

Entitlement, apathy, and sexual aggression all lead men to take advantage of women and treat them as nothing more than objects. And since toxic masculinity is a cultural dinosaur that’s learned and reinforced from childhood, practically every man has some level of toxic masculinity ingrained in them—whether it’s not standing up for women who’ve been hepeated or simply not registering that a woman may feel threatened by unsolicited DM or a male-dominated work environment.

Men don’t deserve unconditional trust

So why should women ever trust men? Whether at Disney or in Congress, PBS or Vice, the recent sexual harassment and assault allegations emerging across the U.S. prove that it’s hard to know who has “character” and who doesn’t. If a significant portion of men are capable of sexual assault, and nearly all men grapple with microaggressions against women on a regular basis, it’s obvious that giving men power and the immunity of “goodness” is a recipe for disaster.

The simplest, most everyday way men take advantage of women is by manipulating us until we unconditionally trust them. Innocence until proven guilty, right? Perhaps not.

The harassment and assault allegations sweeping the nation suggest men fundamentally (or just as likely, conveniently) don’t even understand what they’re doing wrong. All of which means they don’t deserve our trust unless they work for it. Because even when men don’t blatantly harass women, they still objectify us by acting like they deserve our ideas, careers, space, and attention. Powerful men are much more likely to face checks and balances from bystanders if we start being skeptical toward men on a regular basis. Sexual harassment and assault are less likely to be a threat to women if we admit that all men are implicated in the objectification and dismissal of women’s worth.

I am at the point where i seriously, sincerely wonder how all women don't regard all men as monsters to be constantly feared. the real world turns out to be a legit horror movie that I inhabited and knew nothing about.

— Farhad Manjoo (feat. Drake) (@fmanjoo) November 20, 2017

Ask women how often they walk to their cars with the sharp end of their key strategically pointing out between their knuckles.

— Liz Gumbinner (@Mom101) November 20, 2017

There are men who strive to do better and men who work to right their wrongs—and those men are commendable. But they still don’t deserve to be put on the “good” shelf, never to be thought of otherwise again. Because, in the end, no man is worth the risk of trusting them beyond a doubt.

Hero worship, along with the cult of personalities around “good men,” provide excuses for men who abuse women. No matter how talented a man is, a man who rapes is still a rapist. A man who “overlooks” women being harassed in his office is still a man contributing to the culture that says harassment is OK. Let’s stop calling out the “good men” and instead call out their bad actions so they understand no one is excused.