#i hope i can put out more art this semester in my free time! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

saninthebuilding · 1 year

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"it's your golden hour"

❤️‍🩹 pairing: kim taehyung x reader

❤️‍🩹 summary: being in a relationship with an idol can be a bit busy, especially when it's one of the members of bts. however, despite all taehyung's idol activities, you're there to show him- both to his face and behind his back -just how much you love him, even when he doubts his worth.

❤️‍🩹 word count: 2.8k (edited!)

❤️‍🩹 genre: idol!taehyung au, art major!reader au, university student!reader au, fluff, slight angst, hurt/comfort

❤️‍🩹 trope: pre-established relationship

❤️‍🩹 warnings: self-doubt, crying, mentions of sleep, taehyung is unsure of reader's love for him, reader is completely in love with taehyung, they're really soft, fluffy-haired taehyung (because i consider this a warning, he's so fine-)

❤️‍🩹 a/n: changing up my theme! to be honest i like this a lot more, it's so organized and clear, but anyways. i really liked how this turned out, even though i had a completely different idea when i started this, but i've been so in love with taehyung's hair in his recent lives and i just had to write something for him because he's been bias-wrecking me really hard lately. i hope you enjoy!

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leaning back into the couch, i stretch my arms high above my head, basking in the evening sun currently streaming through the large french windows in the living room.

taehyung lay sprawled out beside me, head in my lap and feet hanging off the side of the sofa as he taps away at his phone, playing some game he'd downloaded recently.

he cheers, pumping his fist into the air as a celebratory tune rings out from his phone, and i shake my head, smiling down at him as i brush his hair out of his eyes. he looks up at me, excited, before turning back to his screen.

it was a lazy sunday for taehyung and i, the two of us having cleared up our weekend to make time for each other. although he was currently on break from his idol activities to work on his solo career, he was still busy. having secured several deals, he was bomboarded with photoshoots and modelling by major companies like celine and elle korea- just to name a few.

however, my schedule wasn't any better. as a current art major in my fourth year of university, culminating week was just around the corner as my last semester rounded to a close. it was a stressful time, but i was lucky enough to have submitted my portfolio assignment early, so i had the rest of the week free before my final evaluation.

sighing, i look down, staring at taehyung playing his game. he seemed so focused, the reflection of the colourful lights from his screen painting his determined expression in hues of reds and blues.

looking at the time, i see the clock on the opposing wall reads 6:13 pm.

i pouted, glaring at his phone that had held his undivided attention for the past hour. i had thought he would put it away after a while, but it seemed like he had been waiting all week to try the app out, so i'd taken the opportunity to just enjoy his company.

still, i did miss actually interacting with him.

we'd barely gotten free time until now, and until his final photoshoots finished and my semester ended it was unlikely we'd get to spend some proper time together like this again.

not gonna lie, i feel like i'm third-wheeling here.

"taehyung, why won't you hang out with me?" i whined, taking him by surprise as i drum my hands on his chest. he lets out a startled yelp, quickly pressing something on his phone before looking up at me.

"yah, i almost lost!" he protests, looking at me in absolute horror- "you can't scare me like that!"

"yea, well maybe you should lose" i say, cheeks puffing up as i spoke. "all you've been doing is playing that game for the past hour. it's like i freed the weekend up just to watch you-"

realizing this wasn't what i had intended to say, i backtracked, waving my hands around frantically in panic, "which i love, don't get me wrong! uh- watching you, i mean. but, i just..."

i trail off, hands coming up to cover my face in embarrassment, before i peek down through my fingers. taehyung is gazing up at me, a soft look on his face, phone forgotten on his stomach.

i sigh, taking his silence as an encouragement to keep going.

"i've just missed you so much" i mumble, turning away from him to look out the window. the sun was setting lower now, rays turning golden as they hit the glass and splintered in the air.

it was magical.

"this is the only weekend we both have off until all our work is finished, and that isn't for another week or so. and i've barely seen at all except for when i'm leaving early morning for a class and you're there to drive me, or when you come drained after a day of work and slip into bed next to me, so it's a little..."

i pause, confused as i see taehyung's mouth falls open in shock. but before i can ask him what's wrong, he quickly sits up, shifting the two of us on the couch so we're facing each other.

"shit, do i wake you up every night?" he asks as his hands glide up and down my sides in what seems to be apology, "i swear i try to be quiet-"

i laugh, realizing he thinks he disturbs my sleep, before shaking my head, "no, no, don't worry. you don't wake me up." i let my hands rest on his knees, tracing small patterns with my fingers to calm him down.

"but then how do you-" he stops talking, confused, "it's always really late when i get home. and you're always asleep when i lie down..."

"well, no, not really. i just..." i feel heat start to creep into my ears, and i look down, focusing on the soft white material of his t-shirt.

"i wait for you. i know how tired you are when you get home, you barely even wash up or change before coming to bed. so i just, you know..."

i don't see it, but taehyung's eyes go wide, as if something clicked in his head. "that's why my clothes are always changed, and why my face and hair aren't full of all the products the staff use when i wake up."

suddenly taehyung tilts his head down, and as he looks at me, i see his expression has turned gentle, loving, adoring, as though i were the most precious thing in the world. his hands have stopped on my waist, and when he speaks his voice is heavy with emotion.

"no wonder on some nights i'd feel you moving around. and others i'd wake up with memories of hands cupping my face, guiding a glass of water to my lips, brushing the hair out of my eyes. you take care of me every night after i fall asleep, don't you?"

i bite my bottom lip, feeling a little embarrassed, but i nod anyway.

it was true. each night i'd wait for taehyung to get home, and after he had knocked himself out among the sheets, i would get up and start with his clothes. sometimes he'd wake up halfway, helping me swap his dress pants for a pair of soft pajama bottoms. other times i'd gently peel off his leather jacket or button-up while he slept, leaving him more comfortable in a t-shirt.

next i'd wet a towel with warm water and wipe the beauty products off his face (even though he doesn't need any). but it was never too much since the stylists try their best to use as little as possible when shooting, so it was always the easiest thing to do.

then i'd get another wet towel and start on his hair, working out the gel and hair spray that was occasionally still there on days where taehyung didn't have the energy to wash it out before coming home.

and if i was lucky, he would sometimes wake up just as i was getting back into bed, drunk on sleep and exhaustion, and i'd use the opportunity to coax a glass of water into his hands, encouraging him to finish it.

it was nights like these i cherished most, the stolen moments i was sometimes blessed with when i helped him drink some water and he would mumble how his day had been, eyes bleary and hands reaching for my warmth. the days where he trusted me enough to let me take care of him, even in his most vulnerable state, before pulling me into his chest and falling back to sleep with me in his arms.

and as i felt his fingers under my chin, guiding my head to meet his gaze, i stared into his soft, brown eyes, taking in the way the sun hit his tan skin just right, bathing him in a golden glow so breathtaking that he looked unreal, seeing the way his eyes shined and his face was so full of love, for me, all for me, and i realize that, no, those moments were not what i cherished most.

it was him that i cherished most.

"y/n?" taehyung breathes, and as i saw his eyes begin to turn wet, i understood that he felt the same way.

even though we barely got any time together, even though we barely saw each other, even though our lives were so busy, at the end of the day these things would never change the way we felt for each other.

because i loved him, and he loved me, and regardless of all our photoshoots and assignments and mismatched schedules, that love was never going anywhere.

it would never waver, because the bond the two of us had created over the years was deeper than scenic dates and bouqets of flowers and fancy gifts.

it was trust and comfort and support and understanding- but above all else, it was unconditional love.

and that is the kind that lasts forever.

"yes?" i whisper, and my voice comes out breathless, dazed, as i am completely transfixed by the man before me.

"don't i burden you? don't you think i rely on you this much, even unknowingly? doesn't it bother you that i'm barely around, showing up late at night only to fall straight asleep and wake up early only to leave you again?"

my lips part as a gasp comes out of my mouth, his unexpectedly serious words spearing my chest- "of course not taehyung, how could you say that?"

he shakes his head, teeth nipping at the corner of his mouth. "i mean, i know i'm an idol, and that this relationship is probably already something that puts strain on your shoulders due to the possibility of fans finding you and harming you. but i'm also your boyfriend. and boyfriends are supposed to be here, supposed to be present, supposed to show you how much you mean to them."

taehyung leans closer, tentative, wary, almost scared as he reaches out to me, only to pull his hand away. he swallows hard, before looking up to meet my gaze, eyes glistening.

"don't you get tired of being with me?"

my heart drops at his words, at how ashamed and anxious he sounds. he clenches his jaw, a nervous habit of his, and i let my eyes linger on the movement, watching how the veins in his neck make a quick appearance. i see the muscles in his arms flex as he lifts his hand to my face again, seeming unsure. i admire the ethereal glow the sun casts upon his skin as he raises my head to his. the mole on his lower lip, on his nose, on his cheek. the way he pulls the skin of his bottom lip between his teeth, sinking them into the soft flesh before letting go. the way the salt water in his eyes threatens to spill over his lashline.

i lift my hands up to his cheeks just as he rests his own on mine, gently brushing my thumbs over his eyes, preventing the tears from finding their way down his face.

he opens his mouth to continue, but i'm faster, the words tumbling out of me before i can stop myself.

"i love you so much taehyung" i breathe, voice catching in my throat as i feel my own eyes starting to sting. "so, so, so much- more than you can ever know. but you have to know. you need to know. i need you to know."

taehyung lets out a shaky breath, something halfway between a hiccup and a sob, and i move closer, climbing into his lap.

"we're both busy, and that's unavoidable. you have your life and i have mine, and even though we are so closely part of each others' lives, there are some things i cannot be included in, just as there are some things you cannot be included in."

his hands have come to rest on my hips, and letting one hand rest on his cheek, i maintain eye contact as i carefully run the other under his eye. over his cheekbone. his cheek. along his jawline. down his neck. he swallows under my touch, and i feel his adam's apple bob beneath my fingers. his eyes stay on mine, and when my hand reaches his chest, i flatten my palm directly over his heart, feeling his heartbeat thumping against my skin.

"but even though i may not be everywhere with you physically, i will always be in here."

i gaze at him, feeling my own heart beginning to speed up as i feel his fingers creep under my shirt, tracing circles with his thumbs on the skin of my waist.

"it doesn't matter how much time we spend together, it doesn't matter how much time we don't spend together. i need you to know that my love for you is not going anywhere."

my voice cracks a bit, a tear escaping down my cheek, and this causes taehyung to sniffle, eyes watering again.

"it doesn't matter how late you come home, it doesn't matter how early you have to leave. i will be there" i say, pressing my hand into his chest, "both in here..." i take my hand away from his face and gently grip his wrist, before placing his hand on my cheek, "and out here."

he bites his lip, visibly struggling to keep his tears at bay as he lets out a shuddering breath. he's clutching my sides now, as though trying to ground himself, to control the sobs threatening to take over.

"i will always be there to wipe your face down when you're too tired, to make sure you eat or drink something after a long day, to tuck you into bed so you can get a good night's sleep- to do whatever it is you want me to do for you."

i let go of his hand, reaching over to cup his face again, before pressing my lips to his forehead. and it is this action that seems to be too much for him, that breaks the dam he was so desperately trying to maintain, and he lets out a sob, arms wrapping around my body as he pulls me close, burying his face into my shoulder.

"because i love you, taehyung" i choke out, my own tears spilling down my cheeks upon hearing him break in my arms, "and i will always love you. so don't you ever doubt that."

he's crying in earnest now, his hands fisting the cloth of my shirt as his body shakes from the force of his tears. he inhales shakily, before forcing himself to say something.

"y/n" taehyung sputters, and i'm instantly hugging him closer as my own tears fall, rubbing his back and planting soft kisses into his fluffy hair.

"i'm right here, taehyung. i'm not going anywhere, i promise," i whisper into his ear, gently rocking us side to side. "it's okay, you're okay. we're okay."

i let him cry for a while longer, holding him up even as his body gives out under the weight of his tears. i feel him pulling away, and as i wipe my tears away to glance at him, his hands are suddenly cupping my cheeks, looking me straight in the eyes before he presses his lips to mine.

the tears streaming down his face mix with my own on our lips, the salt water a stark contrast to the sweetness of the kiss. he goes slow, as though trying to engrain the moment into his heart, into his mind, convincing himself that i did actually, truly love him despite the burden he considered himself to be.

i tangle my fingers into his hair, and as i marvel at the softeness of his brown locks under my hands, i pull him closer, wanting him to feel all the affection and adoration and sheer love i had for him.

taehyung leans back after a bit, panting softly, his glossy eyes blown wide as he studies my face. he lifts a hand to caress my cheek, absentmindedly brushing at the wetness on my skin before pressing his forehead to mine.

"i love you" he whispers, "i love you so much, y/n, and i can't tell you how grateful and lucky i feel just to be able to call you mine."

he pulls away, grabbing my hand and slips his fingers between my own, before lifting our intertwined hands to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to the back of my hand, keeping his eyes on mine the entire time.

despite my current drowsiness due to all the tears i just cried, i let out a surprised giggle. taehyung's gaze is gentle as he watches me, wiping the tears from my face, and i lean into his touch before throwing myself into his arms. he catches me easily, arms supporting my weight as i kiss his cheek, smiling softly.

"i love you taehyung."

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❤️‍🩹 i hope you enjoyed! likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! thank you for reading!

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jun-hug · 1 year

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dream team art school! au

Doodles that inspired me to write a little drabble fic :)

ꕤ • ꕤ • ꕤ

This was Georges biggest project,

okay maybe biggest project this semester... or last 2 months, either way the assignment occupied boys attention for couple last weeks, especially this week. That's why his two best friends were so eager to meet up, it felt like they haven't seen him in so long yet they go to same university. When brunette texted on their group chat asking for a hand with a photoshoot he haven't even blinked an eye before they eagerly agreed.

What's even more exciting, boys haven't seen George's project yet! The oldest kept it a secret to "prevent the leaks" because apart from it being his assignment it was also an entry to one of his most ambitious fashion competitions. The fashion awards of all US fine arts universities. He had high hopes for it.

"Alright I'm almost ready, remember to put the ISO to 200, I borrowed those lights for a reason!” Georges words were a little muffled but still understandable as he worked on setting his design as perfectly as it could get.

"Got it Gogs, come on we don't have a whole day!” they did, their classes finished at 11am today and it was Friday so they were free for the next days. Sapnap was just eager to see the boys creation, after all he put all his heart into it, like he does to all his projects. "Actually we do" Dream interjected, youngest only glared at him knowing damn well he's as impatient considering constant taps on his thigh.

"Yeah Sap idiot, we have all day.. but you're right, it's better if the light from outside is still at it's best." he finally emerged from behind the wardrobe curtain. Okay. The boys were stunned it's not that George usually doesn't look like goddess himself - that's far from truth actually. It's just that this time they're seeing his art mixed with all his grace and beauty. Sapnap manages to whisper little "Oh god" only for Dream to hear, as the tallest boy starts "You-”

The baby blue glowy shirt, ornamented with flowered embroidery makes his face look soft, bringing out his strawberry cheeks and eyes hinted with a bit of peachy shadow. It all contrasts, yet fits without fault with a long, red, mermaid cut skirt. It's flowy, the material decorated with blue beads in the shape of hearts- And oh-

Dream gasps, Sapnap inhales loudly. Fishnets, George is wearing fishnets and the cut in the thigh is so high it shows his left leg fully. good christ, they are so down bad. Sapnap eyes Dream and They can really just see how both of them are fully raspberry blown faces.

They are both hot. red.

And The brunet who's the one and only cause is clearly oblivious to their reaction as he innocently asks "so how does it look?", makes a gesture with hands showing of the sleeves and frills on the skirt.

"I- you, it's well, George, it's so beautiful you look amazing." Dream exhaled eyes still on him, almost not blinking.

"George it truly is gleaming - I mean the colour palette for this one??? Ms Chevreu will loose her shit when she sees this! You actually are so skilled holy smokes” Sapnap added still admiring his friend's piece.

"awe thank you! I hope she looses her shit to be honest that would be funny, she's into reds recently so I think she will" boy snickered, his cheeks visibly tinted, not only from blush he applied couple minutes ago.

"alright!" he clapped his hands "time for shoot!"

Youngest set the light, while dark blond took photos to fill the entire SIM card folder. Taking that George was /very/ photogenic it was easy to catch the best shots, it's almost like he looks perfect in all of them. George is perfect tho, Dream thinks.

"Okay I think we're done, I took pictures from every side I think" Dream announced as George stretched "gods yes please my back is starting to hurt so bad" as to emphasize that he popped his bones ”ew George don't do that” Sapnap made a face.

"what do you mean you are the worst back popper I've met. Hearing only a scoff in response from other boy George's half lidded eyes closed for a little while.

"He's meditating guys!” Dream squeeked in one of his mocking voices, George giggled "he's died!"

"Okay, that's it I'm checking the photos!" Sapnap yanked the camera from the tallest's hands and plopped on one of the puff poufs. "Hey be careful you goose! this camera only cost me 5 and a half months of cafeshop money!” Dream hurried with scolding

George got up slowly and joined the youngest, soon enough all three of them were slumped on floor, brit in the middle looking and commenting on photos. "Hey guys.." brunet started, causing Dream and Sapnap turning to him.

"yeah?" dark brunette asked.

"thank you... for supporting me, like not only this time but at all" he turned his eyes from both pairs of theirs. Then he cupped each cheek and gave it a short kiss.

Boys blushed, all three of them.

"Yeah no problem Gogs, we'll always be your biggest fans" Sapnap breathed out.

"Always" Dream repeated.

And if for the rest of the day boys only watched movies all cuddled up on couch, snacking on anything they found in brunets kitchen, that was on them.

thank you for reading ♡

hugs,

Jun

#georgenotfound fanart #georgenotfound #dream fanart #dreamwastaken #sapnap fanart #sapnap #dreamnotnap #dnn #dream team #dream team fanfic #gnf #dtqk #mcyt #gnf fanart #doodle #art school au #drabble #dreamnotnap fic #jun arts

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mydemonsdrivealimo · 2 months

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a note on my commissions ~

so fun fact i hate making posts like this but i kinda have to. so.

over the last few months i have felt like Garbage. i have been chronically tired and exhausted. its been taking a very serious toll on me mentally (or the other way around? cant tell); i can be perfectly fine one minute and within the next hour i can barely communicate with or tolerate anyone else. my ocd has been impacting my daily life much more than usual to the point that has made functioning inside and outside of my home an immense struggle. it has taken up much of my mental space and makes focusing incredibly difficult. i believe this is also what has led me to stop drawing, stop enjoying drawing, and writing, too

i recently had a family emergency that required my full attention, and it made me realize just how exhausted i really am. it put me out of commission way more than it should have and it has been a nightmare catching up again. it's hard to tell if i am trying to get back at it too soon, or if there truly is something wrong, but it has made me realize that im pushing myself more than i need to

commissions have been a serious part of the stress ive been trying to ignore. im not great at "being chill," especially during an emergency, so instead of putting it on the backburner and separating my responsibilities, it all goes into one pot and boils over. with this said, i have a lot of changes coming in the next few months of this semester that will required my attention as well

so, for the next few months, ill be closing my commissions. of course i will honor current commissions--though they may take longer than normal--and event hosts please feel free to reach out to me in that time! theres always a chance ill be up to one or two, but, for now, its something i need to take off my plate as a full time responsibility

i dont tend to like these types of posts because i enjoy keeping my fandom life strictly for fandom, and i hate being perceived, but this has also been a way for me to admit these struggles to myself, which i hope will prove to be somewhat freeing

its hard to tell if i will be on less or more than normal. my characters have always been a place of creativity and escapism for me, but i also tend to use it as a distraction from my problems, which just leads to nothing getting done, which turns into more stress, and therefore more problems. i still of course will be around and be posting regularly, but it's hard to tell exactly how im going to go about all of this

thanks for reading if you got this far and i hope to be back to my regular art and fic posting soon (with the hope that im able to regain my time, energy, and love for those mediums)

#personal

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bvannn · 5 months

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Weekly Update December 22, 2023

Still recovering from the semester, going very slowly. I’m trying to do stuff but mood and body are being volatile. Probably dread and anxiety leading up to the surgery next Tuesday, but I have been updated that most likely I will actually be able to leave on the same day after all because they moved it to 7:30 in the fucking morning. Convenient I guess but also going to be messed up that whole week probably.

I did a good few drawings yesterday. If I’m feeling up tonight I might do more. I’m trying to do more of the soft shading in addition to the hard shading, so the hard shading isn’t as harsh looking. Did it in my new pfp and it looks really good on the ghosts in particular. Has had more mixed results on the others but that’s probably due to my color choices.

Going to try fiddling with comic thumbnails as well, hoping it’ll be a larger project for next year. I’ve been drawing the characters for my secondary story a little more than I probably should so I’m going to hope inspiration hits for the O’Malley kids soon, since art block is kinda cropping up in that regard.

Music: the main song I’ve been working on is done instrumentally for now, soundfonts did in fact fix everything. Specifically the Touhou soundfont, because of course it was that one. I’m hoping if I get more energy tonight I can record pieces for the next song. I’ll still need to fiddle with outlining and lyrics for the first song, but I can’t progress much further on it until I manage to snag a vocaloid or utau (or synthV or cevio I guess, but idk or care much about those). Next couple ones I try to bite at are going to probably be instrumental. I might throw boards together for videos for them but that will be low priority until the songs are done done.

TRGA: so due to circumstance I haven’t really had as much chance to work on it as I thought. I did start cleaning up Tim 1-4, but not too much beyond that. Mostly because the time I set aside for it has been allotted to tending to my mood and body, so hopefully after some rest I can start taking bigger bites at it. If I get messed up on painkillers next week that is the project I will be most likely to work on, so I’ll try to get actual big bites out of it. If I get myself back to doing a schedule, I can probably get shots done faster than I have, which is good because admittedly I have been probably more proscrastinatey than I should be. Tonight I’ll try to continue on it, until I get Tim completely cleaned up, and potentially also get started on his face or hands.

Next week will be unpredictable, due to holiday and surgery. I’m hoping I’ll be able to get that computer I’ve been teased about so I can try to actually unload all my music making stuff, and get a good opportunity to reorganize my CSP brushes. I went a bit crazy on Black Friday this year since music software sites apparently just have 100% off sales on some of their cheaper items, and I got like $300 worth of stuff for free and then some. Haven’t been using it because of storage space. Whatever, bottom line is I can’t really predict next week but I can try to put a schedule together tonight and maybe abide by it as best I can. Whatever.

#weekly update

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zhuhongs · 1 year

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hhhhh so im on a ridiculously long ride home and just my phone so tumblr diary entry time lol. if you have my instagram this will make more sense but yk. anyways. so yesterday was the last day of the semester and i was tbh pretty normal abt it. but leading up to it i was a mess and tbh i think my stomach issues actually came more from the stress of knowing im leaving but the alcohol seemed plausible enough an explanation so i ran with it. but nah i was just. hhhh overwhelmed. bc anytime i was out with ppl it disappeared and as soon i was alone and not busy i was like. oh theres the stomach pain. LOL. but yea. so i decided my going away present to everyone would be a drawing of them plus a message bc like. i always said i liked art but never rlly showed my classmates my art so i was like. welp lets go out with a bang. and it felt good bc i really wanted to do smth like this sooner. my initial plan to make a good impression was to print stickers of my art and put my IG on it and get close to ppl that way. but i was just far too stressed and thought itd be weird. so i just. Didnt. and i regret not putting in enough effort at the beginning. but i also feel like its okay, especially given my upbringing. i needed that time to myself to figure it out, and now i really know that i can just. talk to ppl. and not be afraid. bc the ppl i got closest to were the one i swore would judge me most bc of my own preconceived notions, but i told the the parts of me i hid the most and they accepted it. and could at least sympathize and actually relate and i just. why was i so silly. why was i so mean to myself to be convinced that i was so unacceptable that no one except for those who already knew me could accept me and enjoy my presence? i was so silly. i wont do that again, but if i do, it will still be easier than doing it this time bc I'll recognize the patterns and quickly snap out of it.

in a way, i really do feel like i needed all this time alone to process myself and rlly look myself in the eye and recognize the ways ive lived that i can just stop doing now that i have the freedom to be free of my past. and part of me feels like I'm saying that as copium bc i didnt connect sooner and i possibly could have also had a better time with others and still have come to realize the same things and more through the help and company of others. but i also know that i cant live life always thinking so much. so i just need to live and let the regrets be what they are, and move forwards. but the regrets do indeed linger. like i made the decision not to stay in taiwan. bc of well A. money and B. i felt like if i had more time I'd just fucking waste it like i wasted the first 4 months. i might as well force myself into a corner and see if that would make me do things i was too scared to do otherwise. and like, it worked! i did say fuck it and rlly just let loose bc i was gonna leave but now its worked too well. and like i wish soooo bad that i had those 3 months to fully enjoy every chance working out. Part of me says that its best to leave with that hope. rather than have taken that chance and it fizzled out. the thing keeping me from extending the most was honestly knowing I'd have my birthday there. and i could not take the possibility of spending my birthday alone... i legit couldnt stomach it. in the past i used to spend every bday alone but in recent years ive had a mazing friends that actually made my bday special and i just. I'm so used to having that day be nice that i really couldnt take the possibility of it being awkward. but now i realize that it wouldn't have been like that. it couldve been wonderful. but thats okay, in another life. or maybe a few years. who knows. im considering doing smth like this again in like 2 years after I've worked a bit. i have nothing but time. but man. sometimes i just wonder yk.

and last night i had a rlly good one on one talk with my classmate and that was amazing, but i got home and checked IG like a dumbass and say another group of classmates partying til 3am and i was like.... man i should've done that. but like, logically no. i had a great night regardless and i partied with those classmates last week. ive had my fill, and i had things to do today that i needed to be coherent for. but i couldn't help but thinking what if. and i know its not so easy to kill that voice inside my head. its always gonna be there. its not just me, thats the devil of SNS like instagram. bc you see the best parts of everyone's lives at all times and feel like you're missing out but you're not. you only see a sliver of what it really was..but yea. its okay. I'm still so very young. and i just need to treasure now and take whatever chances i get to nourish the connections i have right now and put yourself out there to make new ones when the chances arise. its okay, there is not life that can be lived without saying goodbye. but damn, yesterday at the school gates two of my classmates hit me with the さよなら and that. man i felt it in that moment. theres so much i wish i couldve said in all that time we had to spend together but i just held my tongue bc i was scared. but this was really playing social interaction on hard mode, like the cultural differences, the language barrier, the introversion, the fact it was my first time on my own fr, just, there were soooo many factors working against me specifically. and fuck man, i still did it. and i am still so young, i really can do whatever i want. it feels so weird. ive only been here 6 months but in a way it feels like this is how its always been. like the fact that im going home feels so strange. like i havent been there in years, i honestly cant fully grasp that im gonna be in a place where i speak the language fluently and am fully aware and familiar with my surroundings. like, why does that feel so odd. it does, i legit dont even know how to feel besides strange. i just have a strange pit in my stomach. but its okay. it will pass as everything does. but these days will always live on inside me as everything does. even if i can't fully recall it. so i just have to keep going as always. god. life is trippy man. but yea. Yea. thats it. i think

#🐌.txt #i just dropped off my shit at my friends moms place. now im going home to shower and clean my room.#then im going to get dinner and then go clubbing with my cousin #tomorrow I'll return my room and head down to taichung. and then just vibe. process everything. explore. im really nit expecting much.#i just know i have to keep seeing as much as i can til i leave. and then. fucking... 2 days at my friends moms place. and then. thats #fucking it folks!!! ship my ass back to the US!!

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kiisaes · 2 years

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How do you draw anatomy so well? Please tell me your secret🙏🏾

If you actually respond/pay attention to this---

Thank You!

thank u for thinking my anatomy is good! ;o;

my "secret": i've been drawing bodies since like 2nd grade, and more "seriously" since 7th grade. i've done a multitude of live drawing studies (drawing nude figures in various poses) which helps way more than you could imagine. i'm an art nut so eventually i improved through sheer work; my body saw how much i was drawing, aka repeatedly bashing my head in a wall, and was like "ok FINE u can get better at art i guess" LOL

anyway, i never know how to answer this question properly because different artists have different approaches to anatomy. the way i draw a body might not make any sense for anyone else, and vice versa.

i've seen youtube videos that are like "DON'T do this! DO this!" and because there's so many of them, they constantly contradict each other. it gets so damn overwhelming because there's no way you can follow all advice provided to you, much of which are from stuck-up artists who think their way is the only right way. there is no only right way to draw!!! please remember that!!!

that being said, here are my tips that might help you, because they happen to help me:

1—

separate the body into shapes! when sketching, i tend to draw my limbs with blob-like "cylinders"/ovals and joints with circles, like so:

these look like messy mannequin limbs, but they get the general vibe down for me. not to mention, they apply weight to body parts by implying muscle/fat. i used to draw with lines and circles, but this subconsciously made me draw arms and legs a lot skinnier and "bone thin" than i preferred. even though these are just sketchy base doodles, it makes it easier for you to build more detail on top of them!

2—

if you want personality in your pose, a great way to allude to that is by using a line of motion! for me, these usually manifest with the spine:

...but they can also apply to the rest of the body by extending past the pelvis. it's up to you! but a general spine/line of motion, even if just a scribble, can imply a different emotion and pose quite simply. i like to draw the torso and line then add arms and legs, sometimes based entirely on vibe LOL

3—

and honestly the BEST piece of anatomy advice i can give you... is to KEEP DRAWING!!! study figures over and over again, go to live figure drawing sessions (or use an online site, there's a handful of free ones), draw a pose you made yourself in the mirror, study the anatomy pros from art books or tutorials, watch shows or animations or hell, comics — actually PLEASE read comics, often times you'll find a cool pose just there for you to analyze and draw — you get the idea! even though i told you these tips, they won't actually mean anything unless you put in the work.

i know "just draw" is a very basic piece of advice that's kind of a duh point, but it sincerely works. i took a figure drawing class my 3rd semester of art school and it helped me leaps and bounds — all it did was have us draw figures over and over! you can get advice from a thousand different artists, but ultimately what matters is what works for YOU. and you won't know what works for you if you don't draw! i know it can get discouraging if you keep drawing and drawing and you're not getting the results you want, but art is a gradual process. i still continuously struggle with art but i'm really glad i improved leaps and bounds in the past couple years, bottom line, i feel more comfortable with drawing bodies, and it's all thanks to my hard work! (or perhaps my relentless fear of failure, which forces me to keep drawing so i don't fall behind lol)

i hope these helped even a little bit!!!!! just remember: anatomy takes a LONG time to figure out and perfect, and any kind of progress is valuable progress! there also isn't one correct way to draw bodies; just use what works for YOU to achieve what YOU want :)

#a bunch of random paragraphs incoming!!!!! woohoo!!!!!!!!#i'm an art student of course i'm going to blurt art advice and nonsense words when given the chance #asks for becki #art help

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batgirlsay · 2 years

Text

Herbalist Burnout

Teacher AU Playlist for Obiyuki AU Bingo 2022 by @snowwhite-andtheknight

While searching for a final playlist to make, I decided to condense my ever growing “Academic Burnout” playlist that got me through these past few semesters of teaching into an AU playlist.

The story is similar to the grad school playlist, except Shirayuki is also teaching labs as a TA when she is in grad school at Lilias. Obi is encouraging her along the way, with the two Incubus songs from his point of view (there’s even a poison apple reference!).

Surface Pressure- Jessica Darrow (from Encanto Soundtrack) How Not To Drown- Chvrches and Robert Smith Head Above Water- GLASWING (Aaron Marsh of Copeland) Pictures of Success- Rilo Kiley State of the Art- Incubus Earth to Bella, Pt. 2- Incubus Up All Night- David Bazan The Shell- Lucy Dacus

Summary lyrics are cited after the bonus burnout Shirayuki!

Surface Pressure- Jessica Darrow (from Encanto Soundtrack)

I'm the strong one, I'm not nervous I'm as tough as the crust of the Earth is I move mountains, I move churches And I glow, 'cause I know what my worth is

I don't ask how hard the work is Got a rough, indestructible surface Diamonds and platinum, I find 'em, I flatten 'em I take what I'm handed, I break what's demanded, but

Under the surface I feel berserk as a tightrope walker in a three-ring circus Under the surface Was Hercules ever like, "Yo, I don't wanna fight Cerberus?" Under the surface I'm pretty surе I'm worthless if I can't be of servicе

Pressure like a tick, tick, tick 'til it's ready to blow Who am I if I can't carry it all? If I falter

But wait, if I could shake the crushing weight of expectations Would that free some room up for joy Or relaxation, or simple pleasure? Instead, we measure this growing pressure Keeps growing, keep going

How Not To Drown- Chvrches and Robert Smith

I'm writin' a book on how to stay conscious when you drown And if the words float up to the surface, I'll keep 'em down

I'm writing a chapter on what to do after they dig you up On what to do after you grew to hate what you used to love

Head Above Water- GLASWING (Aaron Marsh of Copeland)

Can I keep my head above water You keep my head above water

It’s everything that I hope for Everything that I fear

And when I’ve finally gone under Turn my head to the sun Feel the water rush through me Think of how far I’ve fallen I think of how far we’ve come From our days on the shorе line With one foot in the cold To whеn we’d drift to the low tide With the waves as they roll

Pictures of Success- Rilo Kiley

I'm a modern girl but I fold in half so easily When I put myself in the picture of success I could learn world trade or try to map the ocean

'Cause I'm not scared But I'd like some extra spare time

And I say I've got my best shoes on I'm ready to go

State of the Art- Incubus

You were the first in flight, now a modern relic Merely a payphone on a one AM sidewalk We're all cast aside and we're antiquated Right as we start to finally figure out what we are

Now do you see that smile at the foot of the ladder Ain't it familiar? That was you only yesterday But this justice feels more like a poison apple And inevitably everyone'll bite into it

Look at you so bright, state of the art You're new, you're young, your blissful ignorance Is everything they like, but the years have teeth And sometimes they bite

Earth to Bella, Pt. 2- Incubus

Earth to Bella This is a quiet emergency There's so much more to get than wronged

You're treading water successfully But are you really Don't you want to see the deep It's not so hard Just forgive yourself and feel the water open in

Up All Night- David Bazan

School's out forever It's time to blow off some steam I wanna lay on the desert floor And have a vivid dream

Summertime ain't just for teachers Summertime trying to sleep to noon Summertime up all night howling at the moon

I don't know what we're here for But the air on this summer night Makes my head feel alright

The Shell- Lucy Dacus

It's a myth and now I see it clearly You don't have to be sad to make something worth hearing Now I'm common and content, one more burden off my back

You don't wanna be a creator Doesn't mean you've got nothing to say Put down the pen, don't let it force your hand

If I had the offer to do it again Make me invincible, invisible, or brain dead If the body and the life were two things that we could divide I'd deliver up my shell to be filled with somebody else

You don't wanna be a leader Doesn't mean you don't know the way Hold your own hand, walk on without a plan

#obiyukibingo22 #akagami no shirayukihime #snow white with the red hair #obiyuki #playlist #lyrics #encanto #jessica darrow #chvrches #glaswing #aaron marsh #rilo kiley #incubus #david bazan #lucy dacus #all of you writers are gonna love the shell #I wish I remembered where I found this image but it’s a perfect shirayuki teacher!

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zaobitouguang · 1 year

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Thanks so much for answering some of my questions! I'd love to hear all about your experience so I have a lot of questions. Feel free to add on or only answer as many as you feel comfortable.

What university did you study at in China?

Since it was only a semester, was it a program through your school or an independent program? Or did you apply directly to the Chinese university for the semester?

Did you apply for any Chinese scholarships?

Were your classes taught in Chinese or in English?

Were you taught by local (to China) or foreign professors?

Were you attending a language course specifically or taking classes of a different field?

What was your favorite part of the experience? (can be multiple)

What was your favorite new food you tried?

What was the coolest place you visited?

Where did you go the one time you left Beijing and how was it?

Is there anything you wish you had known? (school experience wise/culturally/living situation/miscellaneous)

What would you change about the experience or do differently?

Is there anything you did not like about Beijing/the experience?

Thanks again!

1-3: So I was at Peking University doing a specific program for American undergrads which sadly no longer exists. I believe it was put on by an American college in cooperation with Peking University, so I applied to that program directly rather than to the school. I didn't apply for Chinese scholarships.

The specific structure of my program probably isn't very helpful but for some context, I took classes with other American students in the program. There were about 50 of us split between an immersion and a non-immersion track. I actually did the non-immersion and I think that was the right call for me. I took Chinese class maybe four times a week and took three English-language classes on China-related humanities topics which each met once a week. I really liked most of my content classes and felt like I learned things about China that I wouldn't necessarily have learned in my level of language class, plus it probably helped keep me from burning out on language classes. My professors were local to China and two of the three of them were really cool and interesting people. (The third one fell asleep while I was giving a class presentation once). At the same time, my language class was pretty intensive and I learned a lot from just daily life. This is only based on my experience, but I've never seen a language immersion program where everyone took it seriously and committed and this one followed that pattern (though I'd be curious about the reality on the ground of something a little more prestigious like Middlebury or ICLP). I think the most important thing is finding opportunities for immersion in daily life no matter what kind of program you're in.

7. Augh that's so hard... I really really loved just wandering around and exploring Beijing. Taking a leisurely afternoon to visit some little temple museum and walk around its neighborhood, maybe try some snack I thought looked good... my experience with big tourist sites was kind of a mixed bag (I managed to get food poisoning AND a headache AND injure my foot at the Temple of Heaven) but I loved visiting little random corners of the city. And the food, oh my god the food.

8. My broad answer is Yunnan food! It's SO GOOD. The fresh vegetables, pickled vegetables, preserved meats, herbs, edible flowers, rice noodles/cakes... absolutely incredible and sadly so rare in the US. However based on the recent preponderance of mediocre crossing the bridge rice noodles restaurants even in super random cities I expect/hope that it will be a trend in the next 5 years or so. However I'm going to be brave enough to say it... crossing the bridge rice noodles are mid. The rest of Yunnan's cuisine is absolutely amazing though, and there are Yunnan restaurants all over China.

9. The coolest place I visited in Beijing was the Zhenjue Temple/Stone Carving Art Museum! It's an old temple which now is a museum for stone carvings, including some awesome Jesuit graves. It's also just a super peaceful and quiet place, which was nice for getting away from the busy and noisy city. Outside of Beijing I would say Xi'an! The terracotta soldiers are amazing, and Xi'an also has killer food.

10. When I left Beijing it was for a two-week study trip with some of the students and a teacher from my program at the end of the semester! The focus was ethnic minorities and we went to Xi'an, Chengdu and three cities in Yunnan (Lijiang, Dali and Kunming). It was a huge blast and I would heartily recommend all of those places. Lijiang and Dali can be horrifically touristified but I would say still absolutely worth seeing.

11. Honestly? Not particularly. I think it's good to brush up on your Chinese (especially food words to survive that first week lol) and your culture knowledge before going but ultimately I think it's good not to have too many expectations and just let things be as they are. Actually scratch that I would say to expect the first few days to be horrible. I couldn't sleep and could barely keep food down and people were making me take tests and herding me all around campus with a bunch of strangers-- it was a nightmare! But know that if you feel absolutely horrible for the first day/week in China that's absolutely normal and things won't be like that forever.

12. I try not to think about it that way! There are a ton of places I wish I'd had the chance to visit, but in the end I felt good about the way I used my time. My half-joking answer is buy more stationery. No matter how much stationery I bought it wouldn't have been enough. And yes I know you can get Asian stationery in the US but it's not the same it's more special to bring it home with you. Maybe not avoiding getting a haircut for three months just because I was afraid my Chinese wouldn't be good enough and they'd give me a bad haircut because when I let my hair grow out for that long I just have a bad haircut anyway.

13. Beijing... is just a massive nightmare city. Traffic was awful and I would sometimes get smog headaches-- I don't miss checking the AQI every morning. I grew up kind of in the middle of nowhere, so the noise and light and lack of access to nature was sometimes hard for me! China can also just be a challenging place to live-- there's a lot of difficult and unfriendly bureaucracy, the great firewall is a real issue (you absolutely need a VPN. also if you use gmail set up an account with a service that's not blocked and have all your emails forwarded to it because the VPN will go down sometimes), and the work culture can be really intense. I didn't find that the political censoriousness negatively impacted my experience when I was there, but truthfully nowadays I've pivoted my own work away from China partially because a lot of the topics I am interested in would be considered somewhat politically sensitive (minority languages and LGBT language use). That is of course not to say that there aren't people in China doing amazing work on those and other sensitive topics because there absolutely are, but I think for me in the current climate it's not something I would consider stable. But as you can probably tell from the above I still have a tremendous amount of love for China and I really do hope to go back some day!

#personal #making this unrebloggable because well. i mentioned chinese politics #but i hope this is helpful!

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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years

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free space for you to talk about literally anything you want! rant about something?? write out a thought that you haven’t had the time to translate into words?? post the song lyrics or poetry you scribbled on the back of a paper?? idk just whatever you want. you’re cool :)

Oh oh this is perfect!! Also thank you, being cool is such a lovely descriptor!! Anyway, all the searching through my camera roll for pet photos recently has taken me back very far

Far enough that I ended up seeing some of my old photos of art from an intro level art class I took back in spring 2021, and looking at it I went…this is kinda good! But the only person whose ever seen it is that professor, so I’ve been considering sharing some!! And now you’ve given me the perfect opportunity!!!

i haven't included any of the reference photos I used for the art, but if you'd want to see them I can share them as well. Moving forward, I’ll put everything under a cut to save space :)

(all IDs are in alt text)

Okay so this one's a negative space drawing of some plants! Fun fact the one on the far left is an onion that had sprouted because we hadn't eaten in in time, because at the time I didn't have a third houseplant I could use for the reference and I needed 3

This one is a line weight drawing of a glass jar filled with water, a wyvern figurine, and an ornament! The ornament shows up a lot because it was required

This was just some notebooks, cloth, an ornament, a jar, and a piece of folded paper. A random arrangement drawn in charcoal but I think it looks nice. the cloth in the back is actually a pillowcase because that's what I had on hand:

And then this is another random arrangement of things, but this time drawing with white on black paper instead of the other way around! And it's got a twilight book in it so :) very me

then this one was done on a scratchboard! essentially I used an exacto knife to scratch away the black and reveal the white to draw this owl:

this isn't everything I drew in that class, as some of it is mundane line exercises and such, and some of it just didn't turn out in a way I'm proud of.

like my final. ugh. the requirements for that one fucked me over because she wanted us to have a certain number of things in the piece, but in doing so I was just cramming things into the composition. The sketch was cool! But the inking...not so much. I might still have the sketch if you're interested

but yeah!! these are some of my realism art pieces/studies from that one art class I took to fill a credit over a year ago. that class actually turned out to be my most difficult and stressful one that semester due to executive dysfunction, but I learned a few helpful tricks :)

thank you for the opportunity to share them, Nonsie! I miss doing art more often, so I can't wait to explore it again when the wings au is finished

hope you enjoyed! i will now be taking compliments about how cool and awesome and talented I am (that's a joke you don't need to do that)

#quil's quill #quil's queries #nonsie #i have a habit of going 'what's the most interesting and relevant to my interests class I can take to fill this credit requirement'#instead of going 'what's the easiest class I can take to fill this credit requirement so I can spend my energy on the more difficult #classes that have to do with my majors'#so I end up taking harder filler classes than I need to #like this art class. and my anatomy class #there were so many much easier things I could've done #but I prioritized my interests #and I'm not sorry for it. but it's something to keep in mind about myself #neither is better than the other #i just gotta remember I won't take the easy way through so I gotta be gentle with me #you know?#anyway here's some of my art :)#i draw book characters a lot but am capable of other things

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tiniest-hands-in-all-the-land · 2 years

Text

I felt like barfing out my thoughts

Hi, hello, long time no see. This isn’t really any sort of update or anything; like the title says, i just have some thoughts and i want to put them into words lol. And i’m putting it here instead of twitter cuz of the bigger word count fa;ewiofna;e

THIS IS A WHOLEASS JUMBLE OF WORDS THAT DON’T REALLY MEAN ANYTHING, SO FEEL FREE TO JUST SKIP PAST

Anyways, um... i feel like i’m kinda losing the thread on bnha. It doesn’t really have anything to do with how the story is going or anything (though i will admit my focus is stronger whenever there are major moments with aizawa and mic, which,,,, there haven’t been much lately fla;oewfnwai), but more to do with the fact that i’ve been here for 4 years straight, which is,, the longest time i’ve been in one fandom at a time??? i’m super impressed of myself by that, but also?? kinda burnt out and honestly kinda super lonely?

Since finishing my multichap, i’ve actually had a little time to try and catch up on fanart and fanfic i’ve missed, and,, i dunno. none of it’s really getting me; even content that has all the tropes and ships i’m super into hasn’t been really grabbing me. It’s nothing to do with the quality of said works; they’re all well-crafted. Idk i’m just not feeling as enthusiastic as i once did.

Not to mention like 95% of the people who were in the em fandom back when i first joined have all moved onto other fandoms, so a lot of the time it kinda just feels like i’m t-posing and screaming silently in a very big and empty room lol. And this isn’t meant to throw shade at anyone!! I genuinely hope all my mutuals are having the time of their lives with whatever series they devote their attention to. It’s just hard for me to keep being invested in a thing when everyone i know that was there with me have all moved on lol. And then also i feel like i lost a good 2/3s of my audience cuz of my extended hiatus, so that also puts a damper on things.

Ideally, I want to stay with bnha at least until the story concludes. But i’m not sure how long that’s gonna be, and how invested i can keep myself until that point. Right now my focus is being pulled in like 4 or 5 different directions: bnha, OC stuff, real life stuff, and a few other small interests i dabble in every now and again like botw. So it’s been uhhh... tough... to keep one stable thread going rn lol

Now that I’m graduating, I want to try and post more often, i’m just,,,, not sure what i would be posting. Again, ideally, I would love to get some spark for erasermic and rooftop squad stuff. But my brain has just been mush when it comes to coming up with any sort of art/story ideas lately. I don’t know what it is, but it feels like i just can’t come up with any sort of semi-to-fully fleshed out plot anymore. And not even just with fandom stuff, but with original stuff too. Over this past semester, I managed to come up with an original story and characters that i actually kinda like and want to pursue, but i just keep running into these blank spots that, no matter how hard i try, i can’t find a way to fill them in. I can’t bring myself to blame depression for my mental fog, just cuz in the past i was going through a bad depression bout, and that time ended up being the peak of my creativity, so idk what’s really going on with me right now f;aoweifn

I know a good portion of it is probably cuz i restrict how many stories i consume cuz i don’t like the threat of potentially jumping fandoms. I have a whole list of anime recommendations waiting for me and other shows/stories/whatnot that i’ve been passingly interested in, and i hesitate to watch any of them, cuz there’s always that chance i’ll get too invested. Unfortunately, i’m not one of those people who can have a bunch of hyperfixations lying dormant until someone speaks the magic words and suddenly i’m all about it again. The way my dumb brain works is that I have 1 Big interest and a few very small interests. The small interests are basically always there, and i can consume them quickly and briefly without ending up consumed by them. But once that 1 Big interest changes, it takes a lot of time and effort to try and keep up the enthusiasm for that previous Big interest, and often times, it doesn’t work out and i get to the point where i basically don’t want to see anything pertaining to that old Big interest anymore (if that makes,,,,,, any lick of sense at all omfg)

Idk. This is a whole mess and a half of words lol. Guess what i’m trying to lament is my inability to consume new media without fear of it taking over my brain af;oewina. I want to find new stories, I want to expand my horizons, but i always dread the possibility of jumping ship to a different fandom. And I know i know it’s a really stupid thing to be worried about, but idk. I invested a lot of time into bnha, a lot of which got lost when i went on my hiatus, and a part of me is just like “bro you’re not DONE here”, but like,,, brain no worky. And i’m not entirely sure what to do or how to feel lol

TL;DR:

- I’m getting kinda burnt out on bnha but i don’t really know whether to try and hold on or just let go; and if i let go, i don’t know what will happen lol

- i want to try and post more, but i’m not sure what i’ll be posting

- my brain is Big Stupid and it’s frustrating

#wow this was a fuckin mess #sorry and rip to anyone who read through that #i think the biggest hurt rn that i'm feeling is the OC story thing #and how i can't get myself to commit to it #it's just really frustrating that's all #i'm like toying around the idea of potentially /trying/ to do a webcomic #but in order to do that i have to fully realize my story #and my brain goes from 'this is the best thing ever!' to 'omfg why did you think this was a good idea? DID you think??' in like 2 seconds #i also just #don't feel like i have anyone to talk to about any of this #made the mistake of telling my parents that i was having woes about fandom rn #and my dad in all his infinite wisdom was like 'lmao i don't give a shit about that. i have a LIFE'#like okay. cool. you don't have to pretend to care about it but at least don't berate me for my goddamn hobby #idk this is a mess and i get the fun pleasure of dealing with it all alone in my little mind palace :)#i'll shut up now #long post

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therandomavenger · 4 months

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New Beginnings

This is a big week for me. On Tuesday, the Spring Semester starts, and I will find myself a full-time student again for the first time in 13 years. This will not be my first experience as a ‘non-traditional’ student. In 2009, at the age of thirty-six, I went back to school to get a CIS degree. But that was while I was raising young children full time and trying to materially and emotionally support a spouse with a full-time teaching career. It was a lot. But I did well, even if I ran out of steam and fell about three credits shy of getting my AA.

I think this experience will be different. I don’t have kids at home anymore, and my current partner is also a student, so we will be able to support each other. We’re even taking an ASL class together. No, this should be a completely different experience, though I know it won’t be stress-free. Also, I’m no longer singularly responsible for planning and cooking all our meals, and doing all the housework, the way I was before. My current partnership is much more equal than my last one was.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous, though. I’m older than I was, even if I’m just as healthy, I think. In the intervening years, I’ve done a deep dive into how my brain works, and I know how to be productive. Over the past couple of years, I’ve been getting a lot of stuff done, both housework and writing and reading and other stuff. So, I know I can do it. It’s going to be an adjustment, however, having someone else’s external schedule imposed over mine. I’m going to have to get up on time every day (which means breaking my addiction to the snooze alarm, which is already in progress). I’m taking sixteen units, which is kind of a lot. Only one of those classes is online.

The subject matter is different from anything I’ve ever studied before. I’m going back to earn a certificate in Digital Art and Design, so I’ll be in a lot of Art classes. Starting with line drawing and beginning design, as well as intro to digital art. That’s just this semester. Halfway through, I’ll be adding an Adobe Suite online tutorial class. I’m hoping this will give me a new set of skills that I can use to support my writing career. But this is an entirely new area for me.

I spent most of my teenage years obsessively drawing, and I loved doing it, even if the art I produced was terrible. I knew nothing about anatomy, or design principles. S put some nice pictures together but had no hope of making most of my projects match the image I had in my head. Through all those years, I never took an art class. So, getting back to this now, at 51, feels like a return to an old vision of myself that was never quite able to develop. Will I be any better with formal training? I’d almost have to be.

Future classes will take me further into design skills, including graphic design, as well as digital photography, animation, and web design. I’m excited to learn about all of it. My goal is to be able to gain proficiency at formatting my own books and designing my own book covers, and maybe, if I get good enough, earning some extra money by doing that for other people.

But even as I add this new challenge, I’m not abandoning my writing goals. I still plan to produce 30,000 words a month. I have been on my new writing schedule for the last two weeks, just to make sure it’s realistic. 2-4 on Wednesday and Fridays, 11-2 on Saturdays. I need to produce 7500 words in those three days, and I’ve met or exceeded that in the first two weeks. So, I know this is doable. I also need to work in time for editing and other publishing-related tasks. I want to release three books this year.

I think it’s important, as we get older, not to settle into old patterns, but to stretch and grow and learn new things, and expand into new areas. It keeps you young, and studies show it can actually extend your life and help stave off dementia. I’m definitely doing that.

Am I afraid I might suck at this? Absolutely! But really, if I try this, and fail, then I really haven’t lost much. I lose more by never trying, and always wondering if I could have been successful.

So, this week is a new beginning. I’m really looking forward to it. I feel like I am at the cusp of an entire new life, and I welcome its unfolding.

#new beginnings #blog post #school year #life #writing life

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scotty-brenden · 6 months

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Holiday Journal

[Buck & Gazelle] Hoorah! After over a year of frenzied drawing, posting, and procrastinating, my journey with Uriah Buck & Renee Gazelle finally comes to an end. Buck & Gazelle was my third ever comic, preceded by Stalker and Political Picklers. I am personally very surprised to realize that this comic, despite its simplicity, has developed a clear following, which makes this event ever more bittersweet. I hope you all have found as much joy, laughter, and love in this couple as I had in making it. The last Buck & Gazelle comic will be posted around December 20, just in time for Christmas. Please comment if you want the christmas card to feature this beloved couple. I don't know about any of you, but this comic will always hold a special place in my heart. [First Semester] Also on my mind is the looming end of the my first semester of college. I am planning to get a degree in computer science and probably try for something like marketing or just being a plain cartoonist if I can afford it. Anyways, please pray for me. The first semester is going great, but my social anxiety is definitely taking a toll on me. I cannot wait to fly back to South Dakota! Already, there is so much that I miss. Most of all, I hope my laziness and inadequacy doesn't get me bad grades. Like, I think I'm doing fine but there is no way of knowing until after that dreaded final. [OVERDRIVE] So now that Buck & Gazelle is wrapping up, I can finally turn the majority of my free time into further developement on OVERDRIVE. I've currently openned up a new comic site in preparation, and a Patreon will be set up in the near future. Expect a bit of concept art in the coming weeks as I want this comic to be very refined and is definitely not as simple as Buck & Gazelle. For the moment, I am working on a teaser to peak people's interest and hopefully get some early onboarders. In all other cases, I continue forging bravely ahead in the script writing. I'm afraid I might not capture the characters right and have to rewrite some of it, but for now, it is going well. [Funding] As always, funding is a very big problem for me. I am currently offering commissions open to anyone for 15 USD. Please DM me or see https://linktr.ee/scottybrenden and click on commissions if you are interested in getting something made by me. What I have been doing isn't working so expect some more blatant advertizing in the future. Also, I'm going to be openning a Patreon for subscribing to my comics. Political Picklers, my semi-regular political cartoon, will be available there exclusively along with OVERDRIVE. Bonuses to subscribing will include comics on demand, uncensored comics, and extra behind-the-scenes content, so if you would like to support me that way, look out for a Patreon link in the next month or so. [Happy Holidays] On a final note, I would like to apologize for not sticking to my old holiday card routine. Don't worry, I will still be putting out a Christmas, New Year's, and Birthday art as they come up. Also, I wish you all a joyful Advent season and a very Merry Christmas!

#Adyn #Brenden #Scotty-Brenden #Cartoon #Digital #Traditional #Pen #mixed-media #cute #catholic #furry #comics #fun #holidays #2023 #funding

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noturaverageceleste · 6 months

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Writing Class Thoughts

Really had to listen to poems about sports. This class is too long. I want food. I've been so mindlessly hungry lately. I think I'm just bored. I need to channel this energy into getting job interviews. The scheduling has me fucked up though. I'm going home in less than a week. But just to visit. I do have my class schedule planned out for next semester so I guess I could apply for that scedule and wait for a job next semester. I think that would do. I gotta ask my parents about it. I'm out of money now. I only have a month and a half left for this semester but I have no income and my bank acounts are pretty much dry. I need to find another way to make it through this next month and a half before going home for the holidays and working for 3 weeks. So much on my mind. I'm having issues being present recently. It's just not fun right now. I'm glad I got everything out of the way and don't have much work left here. But damn, I just eating my boredom away and just playing sims. I am acting like I'm on break but i'm not. I need to get back to reality.

My god this class is bleak. These poems are so boring. sorry to the class but these poems don't make sense. So far, only one was great but I couldn't say anything cause I would just be repeating everyone else. It was that good!

This bitch is such an INCEL! Asexual queen I guess. This school need more expereince. How did I end up n a school full of socially awkward horny nerds? Was this my energy in high school? the way i was out here hooking up with dudes in the basement of the school says otherwise. wtf?

I LOVE THIS KID! HE'S SO THEATRICAL! Go off king! read ya own poem to the class! I know he knows he ate! He should voice the new hunger games film good lord! Voice acting skills on point! Read me to sleep on audible king! Only nerdy kid at this school i respect! not true. I respect them all. But still! Go off king!

The way my professor didn't know what his poem was about bahahahahaha. Man poured his heart out in this damn poem and he says "yea i had to google that" bahahahahahaha I love this class.

THIS MAN ON HIS WEEB SHIT IM DEAD! THIS SHIT ABOUT A DAMN VIDEO GAME! GO OFF KING! I SEE YOU!

I can't focus on this shit. Like I really can't. I think this class is just not working for me. These people annoy me. Not even everyone just a select view. Their energy is so low vibrational. These people need healing.

Interesting how asexual people exist. But there is a difference etween asexual and a-romantic. It's funny how people tend to put the two together. I think that asexual people can have romantic love but just don't know how to have that because society makes us think that all romance is sexual. It's not. Love is love and can be expressed in so many ways. I hope that girl in my class finds that. Someone she can love romantically but not have to be sexual with. That's almost every girls dream I feel. Not mine though. Give me the sexual experience!

"Sexual heallinnggg"

Is this about someone on their period??

Bitch you are a body huh? I bet a man wrote this.

This actually a good poem. damn. I spoke too soon. That's the thing with poetry. I need to read it multiple times in a row in order to get it.

I think I know who's poem this is. She over there smiling and twirling her hair. She's nice. Despite how annoying she is, she's very smart and bright and has a sharp mind. She notices more than she says too. I just know it. Very introspective. But damn she can talk ya ear off and be hella annoying. Oversharing queen.

wow! leaving class early once again. This class chill. I take back all my negative thoughts. Sike! All feelings are valid!

I fucking knew it was her!

Damn did this asexual bitch take a nap somewhere? good lord! these kids just out here sleeping in the library. Ghetto! go shower queen.

Wow I need to chill. Bout to get my free bread tho heheheheh

yea, this poem was cool. She should do more art. She's way better at it than she thinks. She said she get's told she's a great writer and then she says 'yea i know" go off bitch! Excited to see her presentation tomorrow in our other class.

I always gotta pee the most in these bodycon dresses. Gotta get naked just to pee like why?

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