#i hate santa claus

[secretmellowblog]

It’s time to spread holiday hatred:

Type 1: I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, the Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas song

Type 2: The Christmas Shoes

Type 3: all the bad religious songs, especially the terrible hymns that are just demanding you worship Jesus again and again, alas!

Type 4: Santa Buddy, and other more forgettable covers

Type 5: “As Long as There’s Christmas” from Beauty and the Beast: Belle’s Enchanted Christmas, the many bland songs from many bland low-budget musical adaptations of A Christmas Carol, etc etc

#I’m choosing violence! #grinch mode #Christmas #Christmas songs #my least favorite has always been the obnoxious child songs #ever since I was a kid! #as a kid I was very ferocious about how ‘kids don’t sound like that!’ #I hated ‘I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus’ and the Hippopotamus song so much #XD

[violetlunette]

Okay, I know that x-mas is over but I’m gonna talk about a cliché I think is the stupidest trope in the world; parents not believing Santa is real in a world where there is a Santa. Like, where do they think the gifts come from then? Do they just think their spouse is lying? (Especially if the gift is out of their price range.) And what about single parents? What the heck do they think is happening?

#x-mas movies #santa claus #there are a lot of tropes I hate but to me this is one of the dumbest #what about you? #what the dumbest x-mas movie cliche for you?

[int3rnztstar]

channeling joel glicker so this is my new insta profile pic lmao

#addams family #wednesday addams #addams family values #joel glicker #he was sooo slay in this movie I love him #also this actor in freaks + geeks #and ten things I hate about youuuuughhh #and the Santa Claus (Bernard❤️❤️❤️😍)

[amidstthemists]

I have a question!

Do you think Frosty the snowman comes alive with magic that comes from Santa Claus? Or Jack Frost? Or other?

imo I think Jack Frost (bc his name is literally Frosty) but then I just picture Martin Short as Jack Frost bringing a snowman to life and either he is really lonely OR MY FAVORITE THEORY Frosty the snowman is part of some greater evil plan to take down Christmas that Jack Frost is working on. Just imagine… Frosty has to keep getting melted/dehatted like the Winter Soldier when he’s brain wiped/on ice because he keeps making friends with neighborhood kids and iT’S HOLDING UP THE MISSION, YOU DIRTY SNOWCONE.

#ice em #joker voice #we need to kill the fat man #Santa Claus #the Santa clause #Jack Frost #frosty the snowman #who’s the father #Jack Frost possessed me at the end of this post #but I still want to know your thoughts #question #just stupid shit #Martin short #I can hear the caps in his voice #r 196 #random shit #but I hate that word #not shit #i love shitposting #are you still reading this? #hi how are ya #I forgot to do tags about the winter soldier #frosty farns is the new Bucky #the literal winter soldier #the winter soldier #the crossover I never expected

[gon-and-killuas-mother]

thinking about how my middle school choir teacher had us 12-14 year old girls sing Santa Baby..... and the version we sang had a solo at the beginning going "Mister Claus, I feel as though I know ya. So you won't mind if I should get familiah, will ya?"

thinking about how i, for two years in a row, had to wear an uncomfortable dress and sing that goddamn solo. as a 13 y/o and then as a 14 y/o.

thinking about how in eighth grade this teacher decided to have a smaller group of girls in our choir dress in skimpy, hot pink dresses to dance very sensual dances as the rest of us sang on and pretended this wasn't weird as shit

what the actual fuck Mrs. Walker-Wheeler????

#tink rambles #the dancers all volunteered i'm pretty sure but like??? how did this not get shot down by the principal???? #i hated singing this song so goddamn much i get triggered every time i hear it now #bless you eartha kitt its not your fault my teacher ruined it for me #theres nothing wrong with having CHILDREN sing about SEDUCING SANTA CLAUS right???? #i told my brother this yesterday and he went 'hey what the fuck???'

[little-pondhead]

For this year’s Christmas concert at the local high-school theater, the theme this year is “Christmas in the West.” I die a little inside every time thinking about it, but it is leaps and bounds better than last year’s theme: “Red, White, and Blue Christmas”

#it is exactly how it sounds #Uncle Sam and Santa Claus having a one night stand #and making it everyone’s problem #I’ve hated blue Christmas lights ever since #also no one told me what the theme was until after the opening song #i was highly confused #pondhead rambles

[jupiter-nwn]

It's almost 1am which means that the "day where people tell me it's weird and strange that my family has different traditions" is finally over!!!

#Istg it's so annoying #Here in Spain people didn't start doing the whole santa claus thing until america popularized it #Depending on the region; you'd have different traditions #So my family decided a couple decades back that tbh switching to this new American thing wasn't worth it #And tbh I thank them for it; i very much prefer what we do #Still presents but the process is ten times more fun #People still think it's strange and weird that we do that tho #Ughhhhhhh hate having to give explanations

[cistematicchaos]

Maybe it’s ‘cause I don’t fuck with Christmas(I literally have the tag blocked) but I was thinking this morning how easy it would be to kill Santa Claus...

Like, the fucker is drinking milk and eating cookies from all sorts of houses all around the world. No one would ever trace it back to you if you just poisoned him. And there can’t be that many doctors deep in the North Pole, like...I could just add electrical fence to my chimney and no one could blame me for that either! 

We could call it Operation Slay Santa Claus, ‘cause we’re gay. 

#Santa claus #christmas #holiday #tw christmas #tw violence #murder #chaos is speaking #don't ask what prompted this #i'm not even entirely sure #i am not well #and i hate christmas so like #that's probably what caused it #but whatever #if any website is the website to post #Operation Slay Santa Claus #it's gotta be tumblr #lgbt

[raspberryzingaaa]

Doing some planning and remembering that I'm scheduled to teach the k-2 Sunday school classes in December. Here's my question, will I get in trouble if I mention Santa isn't real? Feel like I'm doing a bad job of the vow I took to help show these kids how to follow and trust Jesus if I prop up the lie that there's a magic dude who gives gifts and will inevitablybe revealed as a lie, but the Son of God, who also rose from the dead, no He actually IS real. I know I was lying about that other one, but definitely not about Jesus.

#st nick would HATE santa claus i just know it #nia post #im just saying...... will i get in trouble #ill have to ask the lady who runs the lesson hold on #sunday school #anyways if you tell your kids that Jesus is real and encourage them to follow Him #you are shooting them in the foot by lieing to them about santa

[karmaphone]

BOOK APP HAS BOOK I THOUGHT I LOST TO INPATIENT THREE YEARS AGO REPEAT BOOK APP HAS BOOK I LOST TO INPATIENT THREE YEARS AGO

#FUCK YESSSSSSS #ITS NOT BOTH BOOKS I LOST BUT FUCK YEAH!!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUCK YEAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! #it's On A Pale Horse if you're curious #which is like. super misogynistic and gross BUT!! I like the concepts presented #I mean it's largely about religion. it's about a world where creationism and evolution BOTH happened. and this. this random guy kills death #and has to replace him. which is apparently how the office works. Santa Claus rules yknow #and like. there's a lot about soul balance and how it's not necessarily morally correct and about how he uses his office to do what good he #can. like giving a hospice room full of people the release of death they'd been denied. or saving a drowning person instead of taking them #I mean there's a LOT in there about how the main love interest was 'defiled by a demon' so she could have magical knowledge #like. a conscious choice she made. and was treated somewhat as if it was not? I dunno man #there's a lot in there to hate but it's so fun and quirky and fucks around with the concept of god and the devil #like. in-universe Canon is that God sprung from humanity's Good (good->g-od->god) and the Devil came from humanity's Evil (evil->D'evil) #and like. the concept of purgatory as doing soul taxes forever is hilarious #also? the three paths/time is fake thing? chefs kiss NO NOTES #well. ONE NOTE. stop describing women like that man. especially goddesses or whatever they are

[autisticshadowthehedgehog]

sonic the hedgehog tumblr dashboard simulator

0 notes

💠 extremegayr Follow

got held up in traffic today cause some noob couldnt drive the fucking loop-de-loop. lmfao fucking coward

15 notes

🎛 420zone Follow

ok but robotnik's kind of a dilf tho

🌫 wispgender Follow

he's literally a war criminal can we NOT do this tumblr

🎛 420zone Follow

📰 its-no-use Follow

@wispgender dont u literally simp for nominatus like who is one to talk

🌫 wispgender Follow

NOMINATUS ISN'T REAL????

🛜 viralsensation-destructorofworlds Follow

that you know of

🌫 wispgender Follow

what

10,672 notes

🔷 sonicinthewild

43,834 notes

☣️ lineinthesand Follow

saw sonic the hedgehog irl once. he showed up at my village, released 30 feral pickys in the town hall, paid the ice cream vendor roughly a thousand rings for a single chili dog, told me not to waste my life worrying about the little things, and then caused a fucking tornado

🧿 spiralhillspindash Follow

ok and??? you're not special

☣️ lineinthesand Follow

THIS WAS A PERSONAL POST GO AWAAAAY

173 notes

🌠 chaoinspace2electricboogaloo

sucks that sticks the badger hates all technology you know she would do NUMBERS on here

568 notes

☸️ r0u3e Follow

being an islander be like "are those the kind of eggsplosions i should worry about or the kind of eggsplosions that are gonna repair our crops, fix the economy, and bring my dead grandma back to life"

🌁 eggpawnkindathicctho Follow

being a continenter be like "oh great what primordial diety has risen from the grave to block traffic and fight a 15yo today"

🥭 chao-official

being a chao be like "chao chao chao chao chao"

🌁 eggpawnkindathicctho Follow

you said it my mans

579,056 notes

🏵 sprinkles-the-chao Follow

hold on if sonic the hedgehog is jewish then how is he santa claus

🤖 e123-omegaverse Follow

dont question him

85,628 notes

☣️ sparkygoboom Follow

hey guys real question are human/mobian relationships problematic

💠 extremegayr Follow

op is about to start the anthro church schism of the fifteenth year all over again

🛞 mobotropolis Follow

ok but in all seriousness did your mom never teach you that part of history

🎢 marxiobros Follow

someone doesn't know about the united federations public school system

🛞 mobotropolis Follow

what the fuck is a public school

⏭️ drowningmusic Follow

⚄ paradoxprism Follow

are we gonna talk about op's chaos radiation fetish

💠 extremegayr Follow

OP'S WHAT NOW

🏞 mobiancrossing Follow

ok but am i the only one who thinks that the public school system would be a good idea if handled right? like i know it's traditional to learn from your parents and then experience the world on our own from the ages of 7-13 but like combining all our knowledge and learning together doesnt seem like a bad idea

☠️ fabian-vane-number-1-hater Follow

bitch that's what the internet is for

🌅 s0leanna-apple-barrell

yeah where else am i gonna learn to make infinite chaos emeralds

❇️ freesurge Follow

"infinite chaos emeralds" that's called the phantom ruby

🏳️‍🌈 rainbowwispforgayrights Follow

everybody on this site has brain damage

❇️ freesurge Follow

yeah. from the radiation

603,573 notes

🐸 froggysfriend

caught this today

🏝 digginginthegroundfortubers

if anything happens to this blog i genuinely hope eggman blows us all up as punishment

950,420 notes

🐊 teamchaotixofficial

Hey guys! Sorry to do this again but rent's a little tight this month :( If we've ever solved a case for you guys or made you guys smile, please consider sending a ko-fi our way! we just need a few rings to get through the month <3

6 notes

🖼 give-the-koco-a-gun Follow

do we ever talk about that time the sky turned blood-red and shadow the hedgehog's demon dad descended from on high to murder us all and we only barely survived

❤️‍🔥 songoose4evr Follow

shadow fixed it it's fine

🎮 n0cturnity

yeah that was like twelve apocalypses ago move on

🎆 robotniksbignaturals Follow

kinda wanted to bang black doom tbh

🖼 give-the-koco-a-gun Follow

THE DEVIL???? FROM THE BIBLE????

🎆 robotniksbignaturals Follow

yeah. move over gayboy i'm boutta be shadow's new dad

856,301 notes

🗑️ berrybarry

starting a conspiracy that time hasnt moved since 2006

🗑️ berrybarry

why the fuck was i shadowbanned after posting this

8 notes

🤡 clownfinite Follow

tfw you finally save up enough rings for ice cream and you go outside and get hit by swatbot pieces and the rings just go fuckin everywhere

587 notes

🔷 sonicinthewild

34,452 notes

🌌 h-o-l-o-l-y-n-x

so did y'all see that genesis wave or was it just me

0 notes

�� planetsgiantcrack Follow

the virgin tweeter "if you use a bad word in the same tweet as the word 'cream' you get obliterated off the site" vs this chad site of "i want to put knuckles back in a microwave"

💟 presidentyaoi Follow

BACK????

69,849 notes

⬜️ chao-and-wisps-4-ever-so-cute-2 Follow

ok posting my first fanart to this site pls be nice! <3

2 notes

🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow

why does tails look like he's always about to say "it fucken WIMDY"

🦊 miles-prower-official

Hello, @emeraldfwuitgummy!

I actually quote that image on a constant basis! Sonic thinks it's hilarious every time. He's quite the fan of memes, and it's nice to get a laugh out of him!

Formally,

Dr. Miles "Tails" Prower, PHD

🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow

SO WAS ANYONE GOING TO TELL ME THAT TAILS WAS ON THIS FUCKING SITE OR--

🏅 iwishhumanswerereal Follow

do. do you not know he created tailblr. dude it's in the name lmao

🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow

he

WHAT

🍭 milfwisp Follow

didn't eggman invent this site???

🪫 veganswatbot

THE EGG ABANDONED SCRAMBLR IN ITS TIME OF NEED AND THE FOX RAISED US FROM THE ASHES. YOU WILL NOT DISRESPECT HIM

🦊 miles-prower-official

Hello, @milfwisp and @veganswatbot!

Very good question! This site was Eggman's until I ate his bones. Thank you for engaging! :D

Formally,

Dr. Miles "Tails" Prower, PHD

🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow

YOU

WHAT

🌭 sonicsays

what's not clicking

#long post / #sonic the hedgehog #sonicverse #sth #sonicedit #mine #unreality / #unreality #long post #<< trying different tags here cause ppl are telling me the first attempt wasnt working

[tompoltom]

for black shirts

#merry christmas #santa claus #i love them #animals #funny #funny post #red hair #reindeer #i hate this #i hate calories #i hate it #i hate it here #shit #seriously #but like #i hate everything #xmas 2023 #merry xmas #xmas #xmas shopping #christmas tree #christmas #christmas countdown

[leakyleaky]

having the worst session of cawfield ive ever fucking had in my entire life.

#me :) #RUMPLESTILTSKIN? #SANTA CLAUS? #i hate it here

[echo-s-land]

If there's something that felt like I lie when people told me the truth growing up - it wasn't Santa Claus

It was me discovering nobody else I know gets chills/cold when hearing some sounds

Everytime I get my hair cuts ? The room temperature seems to drop

Everytime I hear the vacuum or hair dryer ? As a child I used to go under my very thick blanket to stop feeling cold. It only worked when I put my hands over my ears

Hearing my father's coffee machine? Our cold kitchen becomes even more cold. It's horrible in winter

My dad's screwdriver-drill ? 1) way too loud 2) my blankets were never enough

#to be fair learning about santa claus not being real felt like a bitter betrayal #cuz technically id already figured it out. my parents didnt hide it that hard #but i grew up hearing lies again and again by my peers and my gullible self took a certain amount of time before deciding not to trust #anything people i didnt know might say #i would have very much loved to hold on this not harmful lie. and it wasnt much. and i was already doubting. i knew santa claus wasnt real #but it still hurt somehow #i hate people lying. the only lie i accept is when its to protect oneself or others

[thehumanwiki]

Hi, I work retail! And oh boy do I have an offer for you this Christmas!

If you FOLD the shirts when you put them down, you’ll find a wad of cash in your stocking this Christmas!

If you DON’T fold the shirts, then Santa will stone you to death with coal!

#retail #i hate working in retail #fold the shirts you monsters #christmas #xmas #santa #shitpost #naughty customers get what’s coming this christmas #santa claus

[bamboozled-distress]

it’s November and the amount of people I’ve seen use “sleigh” as “slay” is making me hate Christmas a little less

#I just hate it because I don’t celebrate it #and I’ve been told since the age of 3 that Santa Claus was a marketing scheme Coca Cola had and everything about it is a form of sin #and the reality of Santa is because of Jesus and it’s been turned into a way to help capitalism #welp #christmas #sleighing ig #lazim talks