#i hate having multiple responsibilities

[filmcel]

starting school makes me wanna quit my job sooo so soooo bad

#i hate having multiple responsibilities #too much to think about #ik it’ll b good to do multiple things but ugh. #captain’s log #ik if i quit they’d hire me in the summer again… #i can’t b a bum i need money 😣

[travalerray]

I am going to slap you myself

#WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS #the conversation is flying over both their heads because they are saying entirely different things #wwx: it was such a huge blow to me. Losing my golden core was the stuff of nightmares. I do not want to recall that. I want to move on #what jc hears: Get Lost shidi. I no longer want to see your face #jc: I want to hate you so bad. Why can't I hate you? Haven't you broken my heart enough? Why couldn't you just TELL me anything? Why. #what wwx hears: JC can't deal with the fact that I wwx who did everything terrible am actually responsible for his achievements. His pride #took a huge blow. Damn. Better tell him that I don't actually mind lmao #[grimly said while looking at the wwx papercraft I have hanging on my bedroom wall.] #[actually what many do miss is that deep down there are multiple times WWX actually does understand JC's thing. He understands the pride as #a cultivator. He understands how horrifying the self sacrifice must have been (see: wq and wn). He just doesn't like thinking about it for #very long in this life. Sigh] #mdzs #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mo dao zu shi #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #kk's rambles tag

[yardsards]

living in america is literally just like. yeah i could probably benefit from inpatient mental health services but honestly the resulting medical bills would just make me want to kill myself even more

#eliot posts #i'm not in active danger of hurting myself don't worry #just experiencing some Ideations #but i have a long mental list of reasons not to act on those ideations so i'm safe don't worry #ironically one of those reasons is ''i couldn't afford the medical bills for a failed attempt'' #suicide mention #suicide tw #tw suicide #american healthcare my beloathed #dogshit private insurance my beloathed #also ironically one of the (multiple) contributing factors towards this fresh wave of ideations is a medical bill i got yesterday #it's nothing too ruinous but it is A LOT like would utterly wipe out my savings level #my parents said they can help me with it (as much as i hate accepting things from them) #and as soon as i mentioned it my very sweet cousin just. sent me the money it would take to cover it #with a ''yeah i trust you'll pay me back once you get a good job like looking at your major you'll be making a lot eventually'' #and i've already requested an itemized bill as well as the paperwork for the hospital's financial assistance program #(tho idk how much assistance i'll actually be eligible for bc i'm still legally a dependent) #so hopefully i'll be able to get that bill cut way down #it's just eugh it's so stressful and i had a full on panic attack on the phone with my insurance company yesterday #and my brain's fav response to crushing stress is just ''well we wouldn't have to handle any of this if we Just Fucking Died! :)''

[foggyjune]

ATLA/TDP rant comparison under the cut:

The Fire Nation, even when we see their side of things (the good, bad, complicated) and how sometimes the "other side" took things too far, their role as violent oppressors is not glossed over or set aside. Everyone was affected by it in some form or another.

They introduce Xadia as the humans' oppressors - it's not a skewed point of view, it's factually true and is fueling the antagonists' motivations. As the show progresses this is mentioned less and less by the protagonists, ignored in favor of stopping Aaravos from getting out of his prison (the Actual Evil one, I guess).

This is not a "both sides did bad things" situation. It's not that kind of complicated and by god they better not make it one. You do not compare humans being cast out of Xadia to the Trail of Tears then try to backtrack, tf are ya'll doing??

#tdp critical #i hate being someone that has to tag 'critical' on anything but i'm heated #i'm sure i'm saying things that have already been said #'aaravos is more responsible for death and suffering than anyone else in history' like hell let him out #xadia is just misunderstood it was all aaravos c'mon now #don't be referencing atla multiple times and be writing like this

[crippledanarchy]

People with outdoor cats will make sweeping claims like "My cat only kills one bird a month!" As if that is verifiable information they didn't just make up based on their cats temperament in their presence

If you're letting your cat free roam, they are going significantly further from your home than you assume, and catching and killing as much wildlife as appeals to them.

They're not just gonna stop being incredibly skilled hunters cause they like to cuddle

#I'm not hating on cat owners that practice free roaming. #i have v strong opinions on it but i understand that most people learn to care for cats from their families #and if they believe they already know how to responsibly care for a cat they aren't going to do much research into finding out updated info #this is just about the completely pulled out of their ass claims people make about their unsupervised pets #like you've never put a camera on your cat and watched them for multiple months #you can't have an average for the number of wildlife they've killed #bex talks to themself

[northern-passage]

one last post about this, since i’m receiving multiple Essays on why people hate Merry so so much:

i’m not trying to say that you have to like every single female character. that’s silly. particularly with Merry, i am Aware of her personality, i know she is abrasive and your first interaction with her is her picking a fight with Lea - i wrote her that way, i know.

what i’m trying to say is whether you dislike Merry or not, there’s still nothing she’s done to deserve active hate and violent misogynistic messages in my inbox - hate she gets only because she’s a woman. now if Merry was a man, would her actions make you this angry, or is it just because she was mean to your male fave? is it just because she’s “competition” for Lea? if it was possible to have an m/m poly with Lea, would you like the dynamic between them more rather than how it is now, with a mean, evil woman?

it’s really okay if you don’t Love Merry. i’m not asking you to, and i’m not calling you a misogynist if you don’t like her (which seems to be what a lot of you think). it’s fine!! i wrote her to be a bit of an antagonistic character, and i’m glad that she seems to be polarizing. the point of what i was trying to say is that Merry in particular gets a huge amount of hate, despite not really... doing anything. the hunter can be just as mean (if not even meaner) to Lea in the game, and i don’t think there’s anything Merry has done that warrants the kind of backlash she has received. she gets the same level of hate as Duncan, though i’ve received more violent messages about her than about the literal villain of the game.

#i think it's telling that the immediate response was for multiple people to write me like pages long messages #detailing all the things they hate about her. lol #would you feel compelled to do that about anyone else? #i'm ending this discussion here because it's just going to go in circles because it's tumblr #and everyone is just going to misinterpret everything i say as always. this is why it's pointless to have these discussions #no one actually cares and everyone will just twist your words until they're right and you're wrong #and ofc everyone else gets to be anonymous except for me #but since im Still receiving messages about it. this is the last thing i'll say #also another note. if ur someone that dislikes merry but has never sent these kinds of messages. then i think it’s fair to say #im not talking about you. everyone is allowed to dislike characters #but maybe dont send violent fantasies abt killing them to people lol

[musical-chick-13]

Fandom be normal about bi women challenge (impossible. apparently.)

#look. I too am tired of (white) men getting praised for the bare minimum #but you all do realize that sometimes women do genuinely fall in love with men right #that women are capable of making their own decisions about who they date right #this is one of the reasons that I hate the 'genuinely I hate every single individual man' rhetoric #because so many times it goes hand in hand with this infantilization of women who are attracted to men #it's like 'oh these poor girls trapped in their attraction to men' and then like...treating them as if they are incapable of making informe #choices? like they're just inherently doomed to gravitate toward awful men because they Don't Know Any Better and are #Brainwashed By Society??? please tell me you understand why treating women as if they are too stupid to make their own decisions #is just misogyny again. you understand that right. RIGHT. #'why would you CHOOSE to date a man instead of doing the RESPONSIBLE and PROGRESSIVE and REVOLUTIONARY thing and date a woman!' #because sometimes. women fall in love with men. you can't. you can't will love into existence. you can't control who you fall in love with. #and people-if it's feasible-tend to want to commit to someone they have actual feelings for. what's not clicking here. #(and yes obviously this is a niche-queer-spaces-specific problem people don't have discourse about this in this way irl like the #general population isn't telling me I should only ever be attracted to women and date one solely For The Cause they don't want me #to be interested in women at all. that doesn't stop me from being annoyed every time I see said niche-space-specific ''''take'''') #it's especially confusing to me when BISEXUAL PEOPLE are like this about other bisexual people. like you of all people. should know #how maligned we are from multiple conflicting angles #In the Vents #biphobia #like I know I talk SO much about women and how I want to marry one but that genuinely is just because historically I have been more #attracted to women than men. if I meet a man I click with and fall in love with then hell yeah I'm gonna date him and be happy about it. #I'm not opposed to that outcome at all. but heaven forbid I ever say that lmao

[softshuji]

y'know it's a night when hal sits and eats cereal in the dark room at 1.30am.

#i was thinking abt it earlier #but i've been crying so much lately like so much. almost every second day if not every day and i dont know why #actually i do kinda know why. #i think im hitting my limit with a lot of things and one of them is my parent dumping their problems on me #earlier today my mom told me again abt the whole debacle with my dad cheating on her multiple times and everyone knows i find this subject #too much for me i dont tlike to think about it or anything and im so tired of hearing it and especially when i lived through it trust me i #was literally there the whole cheating subject is very raw to me for many reasons and im just tired of being the emotional dump so often #especially because she always comes to me for everything all the time and im so sos tire d #everyone always tells me i should consider my own needs as a person and its okay to have them and yk in theory i agree with this but i just #cant. i grew up not having any needs met so how can i let myself have them now it makes me feel absolutely awful with myself to even #consider having to ask for something off someone and yet i know how wrong this is iknow needa and desires and wants are natural #but mine have always been on the back burner for everyone else. so its' no surprise ive let myself think im something to be used for other #peoples sake. whether that be physically or emotionally and especially the latter. because thats how i see myself someitmes. something #something to make people feel betetr about themselves that has no use outside of how i make them feel - just something to use until they #move onto the next best thing. something more entertaining and better value whatever that might mean something with less feelings less #sensitive. it feels like sometimes thats what i am. the indestructible never breaking hal that somehow has a solution to everything and can #always be there to fix every issue and is there to make people feel better but needs nothing in response #and god it really does feel like my problems dont mean anything to anyone #it does feel like no one thinks theyre worth anything #not worth listening to not worth thr same attention etcetc and yknow what i hate hate hate asking for attention and yet i get upset when i #feel like im not actually being heard or listened to #and i find it happens so often. sometimes i wanna hear it just once for once i wanna hear 'hey its okay to be upset i wish i could hug you' #or something like that god i dont want to be strong and nursing my wounds in private anymore #god i want a hug so bad and someone to just let me cry on them just once i want to be held and told someones got me instead of me doing it #for everyone else all the time #is thisselfish? it feels selfish to say #this is why it affects me so deeply whenever anyone does validate me or tells me its ok to want things or that im loved or anything nice #god i cant handle niceness at all it feels like it knocks me so bad it takes me ages to recover #and yet somehow all i can tell myself is that theyre only saying nice things because theyre being obligated to and not becayuse they feel #like they actually like me

[midwestdirtbag666]

i found my partner's ex's tumblr. alexa play it's my party i'll cry if i want to

#cam's corner #i Did hurt my own feelings #and i kinda get why he hates me now but i have to keep reminding myself that his mental health is not my responsibility #and if somebody has multiple people they dramatically fell out with they were probably the problem

[fayeandknight]

I had a long, (I think) eloquent post about this but Tumblr ate it.

So here's the short version.

I can be of the opinion that certain kinds of dogs are poorly bred and shouldn't continue to be produced without hating the individual dogs themselves. Can they sometimes work out? Yes! Are they worthy of love and a good life? Absolutely! Can they accomplish amazing things? Hell yeah!

But do I think they should continue to be bred? No. Because dogs deserve quality of life and breeding unsound dogs, more often than not, produce puppies/dogs with behavioral/health issues and I feel that's a gamble too far into unfavorable odds to be fair to the dogs and the people who love them.

#dogblr #this is inspired by multiple conversations I've been having IRL #I'm very pro well bred dogs #but that by no means mean i hate dogs who weren't #some of my favorite dogs are complete genetic messes #i don't think the baby should be thrown out with the bathwater #but i do think that tub should stop being filled #feel like i should clarify that I'm not talking about breeds where responsible folks are actively trying to improve

[just-rogi]

Some Fatphobia activists see someone having a conversation about restrictive ED’s and somehow make about themselves. ED survivors have a hard enough time coming out and talking about it publicly- Without having people shout that they are fatphobic for talking about it (as If plus sized people can’t also have restrictive Ed’s ???)

#I’ve been seeing a lot of hate to Taylor’s music video #where she brings up how she had an Ed #that almost Fucking killed her #like it’s literally in the lyrics of multiple songs where she opens up about it publicly #when I first heard those lines I literally cried because FUCK someone’s talking about it #there is a time and a place to talk about fatphobia- maybe it’s NOT the time when someone is having a discussion about ED publicly #I’m literally so angry about the public reaction to this #because holy shit a really famous person in the public eye talks about not only HAVING a restrictive ED #but how recovery doesnt = cured because you don’t ever fully recover you just get better sometimes #you don’t un-memorize how many calories are in an apple #you don’t just stop feeling your stomach drop when you see calories on menues #you relapse sometimes and it’s ugly and messy and gross and not owo cute aesthetic #and even after you’ve healed and done all the work to recover because you WANT that #you still sometimes can’t look at yourself in the mirrior because years later it still HURTS even though it was killing you- you miss it #and we have an A list celebrity talking about that and your response is to intentionally misinterpret it ?? and say she’s fatphobic??? #I’m literally so angry not even joking #tw Ed #tw eating disorder mention #tw food mention

[buysomecheese]

Fucked up that school dances fill me with. Fear.

#it’s because I’m trans #love/hate relationship with formal wear #I tend to micromanage the Plans and then Heavily Procrastinate on getting my suit #(I do also just love planning though like in general) #but ugh I have such big dreams for prom/hoco wear every year and it’s just impossible to achieve every time #annoyed fr #like actual fear responses though it’s So annoying pit in stomach limbs run cold etc. #like you guys know Tara (?) from Heartstopper #that’s me if she were a transman lowkey #I had to pause that episode Multiple times because Ouch #that hit and it was Not fun #DARCY Darcy? #the blonde one out of the wlw relationship #idr her name one is Tara and one is Darcy idk #anyways

[istillseeeverything]

i hate to say it but I got mansplained(?) about OCD last night. Great time... (I am lying it was an awful experience especially because I know him and therefore can't be rude to him about it)

#jesse.txt #If anyone is interested I'll explain what he said and my response.... I'm trying to figure out how to tell him what he said was wrong #I also hate to use the tem manspaining but he was being very condescending to me #I'm not going to pull the “I'm a woman when it benefits me” card but like oh my God #For a tldr of what happened: he said something insensitive about OCD. I say I have OCD and that's not appropriate #He pulls out the Google search result for OCD and says he's right(???) I leave the call before I scream at him #All the whole the two other people in the call are defending me and trying to get him to listen #He sent an “explanation” not even 5 mins later with an apology (if u apologize for something that big WITHOUT accepting that is did smh wrn #Like he was like “sorry if I was being rude” dude we told u and explained to u multiple times that it was inappropriate #Ur just trying to save ur as rn

[pepprs]

june 27th give it up for june 27th

#purrs #delete later #sure would be an INFINITELY more special and auspicious day if there wasn’t going to be • thunderstorms all day • a budget meeting • two #back to back orientations where i am going to have to take on 2X THE FACILITATION ROLESSSSS 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪 bc we’re doing that now. LMFAOOOOOO #<- and by that i mean splitting up the facilitation so instead of 4 ppl shari ng responsibility for talking AND doing logistics there’s 2 #ppl talking and 2 ppl doing logistics. and mutuals need i remind you that facilitating this specific session requires being extremely high #energy and mobile and getting ppl ‘hyped’ and there are 383729473 reasons why that is difficult for me to do in front of 100+ new students #plus three cofacilirators i am scared of / intimidated by for various reasons. im going to be sick soooo genuinely. i HATE this 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 #anyways yeah. today is my one year anniversary and also my first day as an fte so. 🫠 and one year ago today was pretty awful too like my #first day was actually extremely extremely bad and i cried like multiple times every day that week bc it kept getting worse so. love how #things have changed so substantially since then and the things that triggered me on that day aren’t an issue anymore <3 (they are very much #still an issue it’s just the specific people involved have changed bc half the ppl working here including one of my dearest closest #mentors who was deeply involved in that situation have left the university and now it is utterly unrecognizable and every day i wake up in #an alternate universe i know deep down i am not supposed to be in and yet im trapped in it irreversibly and this IS my universe now. lolll 🥰 #)) also ik it’s stupid to still be grieving over this but like. the entire way it all went down + the fact that it even did in the first #place and the STAGGGERING consequences of it. are kind of insane. every new development makes me feel more and more like im living in a fake #reality and nothing that is happening is supposed to be happening and im dreaming it all but it’s a bad dream. and idk how to accept #that this is NOT. a dream and that what happened happened and now i have to live with it and stop curling in on myself like a prey animal an #and isolating myself from everyone i love and taking every single conceivable situation badly. like tfw da therapy isn’t working 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 #anyways i need to go get ready and practice the fucking 16 page facilitation guide 🙄 see u on the other side lol

[shiveringsoldier]

caller: I want the phone number for [institution]

me: Okay, I can give you their number

caller: Oh, I see. You’re going to do everything but help me. I don’t want to be routed to another place, I want information from you

#I hate my job :)))) #there have been multiple recent incidents like this #someone wants information on a specific topic and I provide it #and in response I get ‘why did you tell me about this topic I want information on this other unrelated topic’ #:))))))))))

[chibishortdeath]

Aaaaaaaaa every year I wanna do the Draculatober but every year I am too stressed out, burnt out, or otherwise to do it (;w; ).

#castlevania #castlevania games #text post #idk how to word any of this but man #how does anyone stay motivated to do things #I am constantly stressed out for multiple reasons #money reasons responsibility reasons #heck even looking up Castlevania stresses me out rn #especially rn oof #and then on top of that I have #executive disfunction sensory issues low energy random pain #etc etc #and being expected to do things on a deadline worsens all of this #reasons why I hate instagram ugh #I also get really bad like decision paralysis and rejection issues and aaaaa #and usually all of these things cause art block too like #everything is stacked against me perfectly in a way that makes me look lazy and spoiled!!! #I hate it so much man #how does anyone do it #like how #how do people just do things #I’m too easily exhausted #hahaha seriously worried I won’t be able to support myselfd #venting in the tags #I guess