#jesse.txt

[equius]

i made my first tumblr a zillion years ago and then deleted it bc i thought this website sucked (i was right)

but then a year or so later i went to gencon and had really mid sex with a dave strider cosplayer and he told me to follow him on tumblr so i made another account (this one) to do so. and then i had to learn in recent years that he unfollowed me. we're not moots anymore. i'm just a guy that took it up the ass in the back of my suv from a dollar tree dave strider and what do i even have to show for it. -1 mutual.

#jesse.txt

[matthew-brown]

If I ignore the curse will it go away, no worries if not

#jesse.txt

[everhoods]

u KNOW the vent is gonna be fire when the medication is referred to as "happy pills"

#jesse.txt #Incomprehensible if you weren't into animation memes 2018-2020

[cynicalundead]

hey guys it's me the denial alter and today I am once again questioning whether my trauma is real or I made it all up to feel special. may change every single social media presence of ours to say endogenic, may not, may just cry it out until I switch. tune in later to find out

#jesse.txt #traumagenic system #pluralgang #plurality #OHHH the horrors. the agony. how i do not miss you. so glad im not host anymor.e #system things #tw denial #system denial #osdd system #osdd community #osdd #osdd 1b

[pyrrhum]

it’s old news but ds9 “the wire”, if nothing else, is good because it says that for the past 2 seasons, garak has been zonked, zooted, and absolutely torqued, which makes a STELLAR rewatch for any of his past scenes

#jesse.txt #ds9 #i mean aside from all the lines that make me go crazy insane asylum #i thought you enjoyed my company / that’s the worst part i do #we were the sons of tain even the guls feared us #especially the lies #i’m sooooo normal about this LOL

[ambiguouslydisordered]

walt/jesse + my playlist for them (3/?)

“demolition lovers” by my chemical romance / s5e16 felina / “early sunsets over monroeville” by my chemical romance

#waltjesse #walt x jesse #breaking bad #myedit #heisenbitch #wjplaylist #jesse.txt #hi im deranged 0:)

[unicarcass]

there is something about the kind of lifetime filled with incomprehensible violence, the one that shakes you to your core at a moment's notice. that rips the marrow from your bones and crushes you into an unrecognizable grain to be rearranged time and time again.

gazing distantly at the empty bottle in your hands wondering why you were shaped this way. they sing your praises, yet in the same melodic tones, cast you from the heavens without warning.

their actions betray their words. the cycle of fear and pain isn't endless.

when death knocks at your door, beckons you to follow on the train heading north, simply to gain a new perspective on life. to talk, to listen, to see and be seen,

will you answer? will you pick yourself back up? will you stay alive with me?

all i can ask is that we try together.

#jesse.txt #morning thoughts over breakfast. gonna take a shower and settle back in for rest. rhythm games are striking my fancy rn

[merrilldidnothingwrong]

me: god i hate inquisition so much

also me: its new game time

#jesse.txt

[butchhesbian]

moved

ive moved blogs, getting away from f@nd0m, for a while anyway. happy to share the url if you want it <333

thanks for the support and kindness, ive really enjoyed the time together!

#jesse.txt

[paroxsysdraw]

havent slept yesterday and have 5 and a half more hours to fuckcing go please help for the love of god help me im fuckn diyng here. im deaseacing in real time literally top ten worst fucking momentse ever. why is this my breakfast

-jesse

#jesse.txt #shitpost

[equius]

"mental health awareness is so important!" yeah until someone with a personality disorder exhibits symptoms of that disorder

#jesse.txt #bpd

[thesunstone-system]

missing your dormant headmates is a different type of sadness. obviously these things happen for a reason and other parts could handle what's going on better than they could but it doesnt make not knowing when I'm gonna hear from them again any easier

#jesse.txt #🌿.txt #toxic fronting combo #dormancy tw

[everhoods]

ah.... Long pilisophical post deleted..... I was getting somewhere and having a productive thought train.... Ahhh..... Maybe this is a message from god that I should sleep? Ah.... I think I had some good thoughts* tho so I'll bullet point them

*if anyone starts to study kinning/therapist/otherkin as linked SOLELY to mental illness and therefore making it "invalid" or "crazy" we need to arm ourselves. People need to be weird on the Internet ok

*I don't relate to the two psychotic friends I have... one of them uses the Internet a lot and has some unnoticed biases so that's a given. But the other one doesnt and has gone through a lot of trauma but still looks at me weird when I mention being Jesus IN PRIVACY WHEN WE R HASHING THINGS OUT mind you. He just kind of treats me like an anomaly?? :-( I'm actually very fucking tame$ and polite when it comes to talking about who I am so this upsets me. He might just be shitty but I'm nervous about joining a psychosis support group when I've been treated this way by close friends... Even in the fucking psych ward I was "weird" but those are notoriously cliquey and everyone there was from some form of negative twt

*new bullet point but idk if my friends r just ass but I worry I'm too delusional to fit in in psychosis circles... I miss max a lot... She has schizophrenia and was someone I actually felt comfortable bitching with. I hope she's okay :-(

*right but does anybody who is specifically psychotic (having other disorders as well is fine I don't think I know of anybody with only psychosis) feel this way or have their own takes??? Are psychosis and schizophrenia the same spectrum have I just been wrong this whole time??? I know they're close but what I read online tends to kind of just.... Not acknowledge schizophrenia? Like you will see ppl say it's valid hundreds of times but not actually group it with psychosis.... Am I not looking hard enough???? Where do I go for this-- reddit???

*I like to document my feelings and emotions on Tumblr especially since my memory issues get rid of anything that upsets me

$tame as in model student. Tamed animal. No matter how well composed I am or how much double bookkeeping I experience I am isolated and it sucks :-( I don't view myself as better for doing this, neurotypical people supposedly should but it doesn't fuckimg matter lol. I know this already of course, I just do it so I don't get my autonomy stripped from me

#jesse.txt #Oh God this is so long I'm sorry :-( #I'm just very lonely and want to talk about myself without being like looked at weird #I don't mean to only ever talk about being Jesus... I just mean to mention it and not be creeped on #Also if you do choose to respond please don't refer to my status as Jesus as kinning it's just who I am #Also apologies if I worded anything incorrectly in this... I'm very new to this #Oh God this almost deleted again #I had more tags but I might as well post :-(

[cynicalundead]

why have I been. frontstuck. for like 5 days. why does my brain have it out for me. don't you dare make me host again brain I WILL die from alchol poisoning don't test me.

#jesse.txt #fucking hate this i hate being the denial alter #i hate bein the bpd alter and the impulsive self harm persecutor #i hate being aroace and feeling unremarkable and undesirabpe and worthless #not to mention the pain. the disability #its getting ne so vad its horrible every second un alive is agony. i gave glass bones and paper skin #let me oute....... #vent post #tw vent #system vent #frontstuck #plurality #yeah thats good

[pyrrhum]

why is it always “i love you” and never “you remember back there, when i told you i hated you, and you told me you hated me? [vividly.] i just wanted you to know...i meant every word of it. [so did i].”

#ds9 #jesse.txt #is there a legitimate quodo tag? thats like active? #i dont ship quodo i just have eyes and ears etc. post

[ambiguouslydisordered]

i kno kendall roy is just a cringefail uber-rich man but he is also an autistic adhder and if yall call his intro scene cringe im blowing this building up bc that's literally what i look like every time i listen to music. ableism.

#jesse.txt