#i had no control over my laptop breaking or getting sick again but i'm still just. convinced that i should be trying harder

[neonganymede]

I wish that every perceived failure didn't feel so fucking catastrophic

#i can't even give myself a break when i'm sick like!!! #why am i like this #i've gotten very little done for sigma ship week #and i'm really trying not to let that upset me #i had no control over my laptop breaking or getting sick again but i'm still just. convinced that i should be trying harder #i also know i'm being too meticulous with my editing but i want the rbb fic to be as close to perfect as i can make it #i feel like such a disappointment even though i know how much writing i've been doing #and then i have the quarry fic and the fukumori fic to finish and i'm just jsfaklsdjfkladsfjadslfjasdklfjsadlf #ugh. being sick makes me too chatty.

[bombingqueen]

I might make a rec list of all my favorite wincest and j2 fics. I wouldn't mind receiving some recs if anyone is interested. I decided to just list my wincest recs because I read more sam/dean fics then J2. I have no idea how many parts I'm gonna have.

Updated:

Wincest Recs Part 1

Favorites (these are pretty much rated E):

the blood in your mouth (5306 words) by hathfrozen Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Dean wishes he could sink his hands right through Sam’s skin, his ribs, wishes he could touch straight down to Sam’s heart. He’d feel the strong muscle of it, the clench and release of every beat, the thick heat of blood. He could take a bite, all for himself. (In which Dean starts experiencing cannibalistic thoughts about Sam, and Sam just needs his brother. Season 11.)

take the things you love (4784 words) by hathfrozen Chapters: 1/1 Summary: The thing is, Sam’s reinforcing every bad behavior Dean’s ever had with this kind of shit. Fucking Sam stupid over the hood of the Impala? Dean’s wet dream—unfortunately also Sam’s—but more importantly the implicit validation of every claim Dean thinks he has on Sam—unfortunately every claim Sam’s lizard brain wants Dean to have. (Sam knows his brother wants to possess him. It's a point of internal conflict.)

brother only wants (64098 words) by hathfrozen Chapters: 11/11 Summary: Sam breathes like it takes effort, and then he says, "Wanting you was the very first thing I realized was wrong with me. It was how I knew there was something sick inside." (One of them had to fall first. A story about devotion.)

an act of faith against the night (5953 words) by hathfrozen Chapters: 1/1 Summary: When Dean kisses him again, he tastes like Sam's tears. "I hate you," Sam whispers into Dean's mouth, still trying to get Dean to fuck him faster. No one should ever love this much. "It's your fault, this is your fault." Dean gave him this, everything that Sam never wants to lose, and now Dean's just going to tear it all away. He's going to throw himself away, like he's nothing, if Sam can't save him. (Angsty porn set sometime in Season 3. In lieu of actually talking things out, Sam and Dean have a lot of sex. Sometimes, like now, Sam breaks down.)

Bullet for my Valentine (8840 words) by merle_p Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural Summary: Stupid. He is so goddamn fucking stupid. Running his mouth like a fucking idiot, not knowing when to leave well enough alone. Bad enough that he just practically talked dirty to his little brother, which, Christ – he must be more stressed than he thought if his self-control mechanisms have started malfunctioning that badly. But no, no, he came up with a scenario straight out of a bad slasher film, as if that is something normal people talk dirty about, as if that is something Sam would seriously enjoy. As if – As if Dean hadn’t hunted his own brother through the maze of the bunker, eyes black and hammer raised to strike, not even a full year ago. As if Sam hadn’t, just a few weeks back, knelt at his feet, neck bared, waiting for Dean to deal a fatal blow with a fucking scythe

Sam has a serial killer kink and Dean indulges him. There is no explicit consent discussion prior to the kink exploration. But there is a safeword that Sam is fully able to use.

With Your Dreams Untold (10157 words) by waywardelle Chapters: 1/1 Summary: For the past ten years, Dean has been bookmarking porn on the laptop for Sam to watch. Sam figured it would never go further than that, until one night, not long after killing Hitler, Dean decides to be brave. One thing is for sure: Dean is never going to let Sam live down the fact that porn is what brought them together, in the end. Set between 12x06 & 12x07, but not necessarily a coda.

Walkin' the Tightrope (24702 words) by non_tiembo_mala Chapters: 1/1 Summary: It’s 2036, and twenty years since Sam and Dean called it quits on hunting to take up a secluded, quiet life. Maybe Jesse and Cesar gave them the idea, but after Amara, they realized they’d done enough. And they wanted a proper life together even more. Known as Sam Wesson and Dean Smith to the residents of the nearby town they call home, Sam and Dean keep mostly to themselves, their immaculately kept ‘67 Chevy Impala, and their cabin in the woods. That is, until someone from their past tracks them down, desperate for help. Sam and Dean can’t say no, not when it’s their dear friend Jody Mills in deep trouble – she’s missing – but the wedding bands they wear make going back to their old life just that little bit more complicated…

because you want to die for love (27299 words) by hathfrozen Chapters: 1/1 Series: Part 1 of Heaven verse Summary: He almost misses it. “Seventy-eight days.” A beat passes. “What?” That’s the face of twenty-four year old Sam staring at Dean with the eyes of the thirty-six year old Sam he left behind. Dean can’t get a read on him, on the expression there when Sam clarifies, “It was only seventy-eight days. I lived for seventy-eight days without you, and then I ended up here.”  (Sam and Dean settle into their Heaven—and into each other, too.)

Just about everything by hathfrozen is awesome. The author really knows Sam and Dean and hathfrozen explores their unhinged dynamics well.

Strange How the Night Moves (2282 words) by dollylux Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam and Dean talk about Sam's night with Piper.

Kings of Christmas (4987 words) by brokenlittleboy Chapters: 1/1 Summary: During the holidays at the bunker, Sam and Dean engage in a tense competition over who can decorate the bunker the best. Things get out of hand, but in a good way.

The Exodus (14189 words) by waywardelle Chapters: 1/1 Summary: So. Dean left with Cas over a week ago on some sort of recon mission, and yeah, Sam has been trying to bury himself in research, but he's just not coping all that well with the long-term separation. He wakes up early one morning, expecting the day to be like all the rest, except it's even worse than all the rest, because he's completely and totally alone on his (brother-less) thirty-fourth birthday. His bleak outlook quickly changes with an unexpected phone call, and he has to admit that maybe someone, somewhere answered his embarrassingly needy birthday wish, despite his lack of candles to blow out.

Promise Me (9281 words) by brokenlittleboy Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel Additional Tags: Soulmates, Fluff, Romance, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Men of Letters Bunker, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Winchesters, Canon Compliant, Top Dean, Bottom Sam, Frottage, Anal Sex, Sleepy Kisses, Minor Character(s) Series: Part 4 of Commissions Summary: Dean makes a promise to Sam. He'd already made a commitment to his brother in a church, but this time is more significant and meaningful. Their lives are already weird enough that one incestuous marriage proposal won't flip things upside down.

Sweet Sin, So Naked and Bare (16105 words) by HandsAcrossTheSea Chapters: 1/1 Summary: “Have you ever thought about us doing it bare?” Sam pauses with his coffee cup halfway to his mouth and brings his gaze up. “What do you mean?” “You know. Fucking bareback.” Dean’s not looking at him and Sam really, really wishes he would. Sam sets the cup down and exhales slowly. “Maybe.”

the need to choose (4542 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Castiel tells Dean something he never expected to hear.

This is an amazing fic. It does involve Mpreg and Non-traditional A/B/O dynamics. Dean is told he is pregnant. It also discusses the possibility of abortion due to the possibility of Sam and Dean being vessels and their war with Heaven and Hell. I think the concept is utterly brilliant. Sam and Dean having a child would really make it so that Heaven and Hell hunt them down or they give up their child.

reclamation (4152 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Once they're finally on the same page again, once things are okay, Sam realizes there's just one thing missing.

femme (4460 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Rummaging around the internet, Dean finds a kink he hadn't seen before; Sam explains, and demonstrates.

the beams of our house are cedar (7864 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: While they're still cementing the bunker as theirs, Dean remembers something he used to play with, when he was younger. He decides to give Sam a surprise, whenever he gets home.

there will be better days (9430 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam and Dean settle into their heaven.

ambiguity (4155 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam has a fantasy that he's long wanted to see realized. Dean misunderstands, at first, but Sam sets him straight.

a gift; win-win (967 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam wants to watch; Dean obliges.

oh so good, oh so fine (7580 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Series: Part 1 of it started with the kinks Summary: Zachariah gave them their memories back, but he didn't erase what had happened in the time they were other people. Dean Smith made a mistake, and Dean Winchester--well. He's still living with it.

kansas city (4231 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam dies in a barn, and Dean tries to live, after.

deadlybride is one of my favorite wincest authors. everything they write is certified gold. Also, I'm a simple woman, I enjoy reading about Dean in panties.

Good Clean Fun (6050 words) by nigeltde Summary: Loose lips sink ships.

Fair warning, if Sam and Dean having sex when Sam may not be fully with reality squicks you then proceed with caution. It is not stated out right and it is left ambiguous.

Lips That Unlock Doors (2668 words) by AlulaSpeaks Chapters: 1/1 Dean may have the lips that unlock doors, but it’s Sam’s mouth that drives Dean crazy.

Dean just wanted a taste.

You Have Always Been a Fire, Burning Under My Skin (6037 words) by faequeentitania Chapters: 1/1 Series: Part 1 of Sharing is Caring Summary: The first time Sam woke up to the sound of Dean jerking off, he was twelve. Hearing your brother stroking himself in the middle of the night shouldn't be a turn on at twelve. And it definitely shouldn't be a turn on at twenty-two, either. But here he was.

The entire series is awesome. There is hetero sex but Sam/Dean has a pretty established thing going on throughout. Sam and Dean enjoy sharing their sexual experiences with women and they enjoy having threesomes.

Giving Thanks (23271 words) by chiquititasnewsong Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam forgets it’s Thanksgiving until he finds Dean in the kitchen at the bunker getting ready for a huge holiday spread. Whether it’s the day or the atmosphere or some kind of odd cosmic synchronicity, Sam takes a chance that turns out to change his life in ways he never dreamed possible.

I love this fic so fuckin much. The mutual pining and the increasing sexual tension is everything to me.

To Have and To Hold (3668 words) by fallingintodivinity Chapters: 1/1 Summary: It’s while standing in the middle of the vegetable aisle at a Wal-Mart, a slightly wilted head of lettuce in one hand and a six-pack of beer in the other, that Dean Winchester realizes he’s married.

A Warm Respite from a Chilly Night (1854 words) by doilycoffin Chapters: 1/1 After spending a good chunk of their evening freezing their asses off, Dean decides to warm him and Sam up with some good old fashioned spiked hot cocoa. And if it results in him getting to have a little fun with a very tipsy and horny Sam, then who is he to complain?

It's all consensual.

In the Chair Next to Mine (14407 words) by chiquititasnewsong Chapters: 1/1 Summary: This was written for this prompt from the SPN Masquerade Round 10: WINCEST - CAMPBELL BROTHERS, MARRIAGE KINK from: (anonymous) they really do love their little life in lebanon; the cozy quaint togetherness, the domestic bliss of coupledom, and they definitely get off on fooling the townspeople—letting everyone think they're mr. and mr. for real. (matching rings, the occasional pet name slipped, no one around them realizing they're getting an eyeful of incest every time a kiss is shared in public.)

Sam has a serious and intense incest kink. Dean gets into it.

Cri de Cœur [The Heart's Cry] (37817 words) by kelleigh Chapters: 7/7 Summary:

Sam and Dean could use a break after banishing God’s sister to the far reaches of oblivion. However, a new case drops into their laps when they receive a message sent to the Men of Letters using a strange old code. The name Campbell makes it impossible for them to refuse. The hunt takes the Winchesters back to Charleston, South Carolina, a city they haven’t been through in almost twenty years. It plunges them into the obscure and bloody history of an old plantation where ghost sightings and a consuming madness mean the clock is ticking.

Using every resource they have, including the help of the last Campbell ancestor in the South, the testimony of a powerless ghost, and the expertise of a handsome young historian, Sam and Dean need to uncover the truth behind the haunting before it claims another innocent victim. Based on the short story, The Yellow Wallpaper.

This is the second part of a series but it can be read as a stand alone. I love reading case fics and love reading ones that read like it could be on the show. This is awesome. Takes a divergence after Amara reunites with Chuck.

Sticking With You (10522 words) by smalltrolven Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam’s soul has been stretched to the limit after being attached to Chuck via the damn bullet in his shoulder. But now he has something to decide: whether or not to fill Dean in about what had really happened to Sam while Dean was off hunting on his own and killing his old buddy. It takes him the whole drive to Alaska, and nearly the whole way back to work up the courage to spill the whole story.

Dean helps Sam's soul heal and it is a beautiful thing.

nothing's gonna hurt you, baby (17652 words) by orphan_account Chapters: 1/1 Summary: “You get to have this, Dean.” The brush of Sam’s mouth against his own is the sweetest ache. Lips catch and drag and Sam whispers into his mouth, “You get to have this. If you want this, I’m giving it to you. Let me give this to you.” Dean wants to say yes. He wants to say please and I love you and thank you. For the trust, the devotion, the care. It’s not something that has ever needed to be verbalised but god, in this moment Dean wants nothing more than to tell this boy just how much he loves him. “Yeah. Yeah, Sam — I want this.” The words taste like the sweetest freedom and a thousand more years of damnation but Sam’s tongue soothes the burn of them. Long fingers cradle the back of his head tenderly, so tenderly, like he’s something precious to be taken care of, and Dean’s chest feels fit to bursting with how much he loves this kid.

I adore this fic. I really really do. and its sexy hot. This has Daddy kink. Sam calls Dean Daddy and it has undertones of subdropping.

Every New Beginning (1881 words) by remy Chapters: 1/1 Summary: one night you realize you love him, you love him in a way you shouldn’t, in a way you can never tell anyone, least of all him because he is not here. he is miles and miles and miles below your feet, so far out of your reach that you can’t even imagine it, and your chest hurts so sharp and vindictive you can’t breathe. and here’s the thing – without him, you don’t want to.

This is written in second person but it is an honestly beautiful depiction of Dean's feelings for Sam.

they were each other's toxic cure called codependency (2172 words) by nowhere_blake Series: Part 8 of codas for the damned and the brokenhearted Summary: Mary’s back, Dean is gone and Sam stops sleeping. She thought she understood how deep her boys' relationship goes, but when Michael takes over and Dean disappears, she needs to reevaluate just exactly how scarily codependent the two of them are. Coda to 14x01 Stranger in a Strange Land.

There's No Normal After That (6274 words) by Fenix21 Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Dean discovers the truth behind the words of what it really means to love his brother.

Dean's turmoil after Sam's non-death is good stuff. This fic is set after Red Meat.

O Heavenly Christmas (8124 words) by SmackTheDevil Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Reunited on a bridge in Heaven, Sam and Dean have much to catch up on and slide back into their close relationship as if they had never been apart. Sam is reflective about a life long lived, while Dean is his usual self; cracking jokes and teasing his brother. But without the weight of the world on their shoulders, for the first time, in a long time they are both able to relax and talk about their time together on Earth, relive a few memories and enjoy their first Christmas together in Heaven.

amazing work and the progress of their re-joining is beautiful

ain't it a gentle sound, the rolling in the graves? (ain't you my baby?) (3367 words) by pilotflyingj Summary: Five times Dean calls Sam "baby," and one time he doesn't.

Monsters Are Always Hungry (27458 words) by untraceablegirl23 Chapters: 1/1 Summary: He peers down at him for just a second, a second that skips on like hours, because looking at Sam is like giving something up, like air, like space, and being replaced entirely with devotion. (Nonlinear depiction of the time Sam and Dean are found out and how it all comes to in the months beforehand which are Heaven and Hell at once. Or an acknowledgement of just how far they’d go for each other, even when it’s beyond wrong, because how can you hide when you’re entirely made for someone else?)

Midnight Ride (2749 words) by ani_coolgirl Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam really just means to get some sleep. But if he wants Dean’s good mood to last, he may as well indulge and enjoy the ride.

Sam indulging Dean's cowboy while Castiel and Jack are in the next room.

#wincest #I have over 100 saved wincest fics #I have a problem #personal #wincest fic recs

[digital-corruption]

I'm not happy with it, but I am sick of editing this chapter and I want to move on. Otherwise, I'll never finish it.

⚠️ Trigger warning: PTSD episode, choking

Unrecognisable Part 49

Fire. Everywhere. As far as the eye could see. I tried to find my way out, but all I could see were flames and it didn’t help that every next breath was emptier than the previous. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. I turned back to look at Jake, but where his hand had once been there was nothing but fire creeping up my arm. In that moment my heart stopped as I realised I was done for. I would die in this fire and nothing would be left behind. I didn’t want to die, I wanted to live. Live, damnit, live!

I jumped up in a cold sweat, my heart racing in a panic. My eyes darted around the room, trying to remember where the hell I was. Rundown, abandoned office. Old, ratty leather couch. That’s right, the warehouse. Sighing, I wiped my temple of the sweat and my cheek of the tears. Shit, that was worst and most vivid nightmare I had in ages. If I closed my eyes, I could still feel the heat of the fire. I glanced down and remembered the burns on my fore arms beneath the bandages. That’s right, not all of it was a dream. Some of it, no, most of it was real.

I sunk down and hugged my knees lightly while my mind ran through the events of the night before. I felt the pain of Cyan pinning me to the ground, syringe in his hand, coming so close to injecting me with liquid poison. I remembered hearing the roar of Jake’s voice cut through the room before he tackled Cyan and wrestled him for control. The look in Jake’s eye as Cyan bled out beneath him still sent chills down my spine. It was as if it had been a game – a game with the odds completely stacked against Jake. He won and basked in the victory while his opponent died

However, that moment was brief - that gloat turned to terror.

I winced as I could still taste the smoke on the back of my throat. I wondered how much mouth wash I would have to gargle to get rid of the awful taste. Or was it just one of those things I could never get rid of? Would I regain my sense of smell, or would I only ever be able to smell smoke forever more? Would I always be cursed to remember the night in perfect definition?

My phone beeped several times, which broke my concentration. I stared at it for a minute while I tried to decide whether I would even bother checking it. My curiosity won in the end.

Trix: Holy fuck! What the fuck did you two do!?

Trix: You killed Cyanide!? You actually fucking killed him!?

Trix: What the fuck were you thinking!?!!

Trix: OMFG…

Trix: There’s going to be a power vacuum a mile wide because of you!

Trix: Shit! All hell is going to break loose!

Trix: Why the fuck did you have to kill him!?

I turned the screen off and tossed the phone onto the floor. As if I cared about Colville’s underground politics. They could self-destruct on each other, and I wouldn’t blink an eye. So long as they stayed the fuck out of our way.

I stood up and stretched out gingerly. My crusted burns painfully threatened to weep again if I pushed them too much. I spotted a glass of water on the desk. I knew it was already mixed with Jake’s pain medication. I picked it up and downed it in one go.

‘Or let them come. We could use the stress relief,’ I thought to myself.

Let them come. Let them burn.

I could hear Jake’s dark voice in my head even though he never said those things. Somehow I heard them as clear as day and it made me smile. Suddenly I had renewed strength and was ready to face the day.

Thinking of Jake, I went to check on him. Had he been up all night working again? I expected to find him sitting at his desk as usual, but strangely the desk was vacant. I walked over and found his laptop had been left to run a process, but it had already finished. So where was the user?

A faint sniffle from the far end of the floor caught my attention. Zigging and zagging through the random scattering of desks and chairs, I found Jake sitting on the floor with his head in his knees in the far corner of the loft. His entire body was shivering, no, shaking. I knelt down beside him and put my hand on his back. His entire body jumped at my sudden touch. He raised his head slightly in response. His face was pale and his eyes were wide while his breathing trembled.

“Jake,” I cooed. “Jake, you’re safe.”

No response. The closer I looked, the more I noticed. His pupils were dilated. There was a tiny bit of dried blood on his lip where he had bit it too hard. His fingernails had bent and broke badly from digging them too hard into his pants. How long had he been like this?

“Jake, you’re not in the mines, you’re not in the fire. You’re… here,” I gestured to our surroundings with my head. “You’re home, for lack of a better word.”

“Find R-richy…” Jake shuddered.

“No, Jake, you don’t have to find him. He’s in prison, remember?” I smiled gently. “That was a very long time ago. You don’t need to worry about him anymore.”

I paused for a moment and waited for any sort of reaction from Jake, but he couldn’t hear me. I sighed with regret, knowing that I had caused this new series of episodes. Somehow, I had to get Jake out of the mental prison. It hurt so much to see him suffer like this, especially after having a taste of it myself. But how?

Out of nowhere, Jake snapped around and grabbed my wrist. As if the pain of that wasn’t enough, he twisted it and pushed me off balance. I fell backwards onto the floor with a thud. I screamed out from the searing pain of my burns being so harshly manhandled, but my cries were cut off by Jake’s hand at my throat. Unlike his taunts of the past, he squeezed hard, stifling the life from me, while he stared at me with dead, cold eyes. I clawed desperately at his hand, trying to get him to release me, but he was too strong.

“Jake!” I barely got out.

I stared deep into his cold, blank eyes hoping for any sort of recognition of what was happening, but I got nothing. Quickly strength drained from my body. My vision began to tunnel as my consciousness started to fade. The consideration that I could die right then and there suddenly became a frighteningly real possibility. My heart beat so heavily it felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. With the little vigour I had left, I shot daggers into the eyes of my possessed assaulter. Wake up damnit!

Suddenly Jake’s eyes widened as a wave of realisation washed over him. He immediately let go and jumped off me. I turned over and coughed uncontrollably as oxygen flooded my brain again. I was so deafened by the sound of my own pulse pounding in my ears that I could barely make out Jake screaming in agony until my heart rate started to recover.

“No!” Jake yelled at the top of his lungs. “Why? Why!?”

I tried to speak, but the only sound that came out of my throat was a cracked, broken mess. Jake buried his face in his knees again while his hands pulled at his hair. He let out a tortured wail into his thighs. I crawled over to him and lifted his head up with my hands cupping his cheeks. His expression was so full of pain and remorse that I couldn’t hold back my own tears. I leant my forehead against his and we cried together.

After a while Jake gritted his teeth and spoke up, “I’m so fucked up.”

“That’s why we’re seeing the doctor,” I hoarsely reminded him.

“What if he can’t help me?” Jake bit his lip hard. “Fuck, MC, I was so close to killing you.”

“Jake-“ my voice croaked.

“Don’t you dare say it’s ok because it’s not!” he snapped. “A few seconds longer and…”

I wiped his tears from his cheeks with my thumbs, then kisses his lips. “Tonight, Jake, tonight you’re meeting with the doctor and you’re going to get a handle on this!”

“I wouldn’t need it if it wasn’t for Richy!” he exclaimed. “He’s the reason I’m like this! He turned me into a pathetic, weak, deranged fuck up!”

“And he’s paying the price for it,” I reminded him.

“No…” Jake shook his head and his eyes turned dark. “He’s paid a pittance for what he’s done. His entire existence is a mistake!”

I realised there was no point in trying to argue with him, the best thing I could do was distract him from the topic. I raised my arms and took a good look at the bandages. They got rather bunched up and dishevelled during Jake’s episode, and my wounds wept so much, there was no point trying to salvage these. I needed fresh bandages.

“Did I do that?” Jake anguished.

“Let’s not focus on that,” I glanced up at him. “You can’t change the past, but the now you can change. Will you help me clean these?”

“I caused you so much pain… Only if you would have me,” he said full of guilt. “It’s the least I can do.”

“Then let’s go downstairs,” I stood up carefully.

Jake remained on the floor and with a pained expression, looked up at me, as if he didn’t deserve to stand. I held out my hand to help him up. He took it and pressed his forehead onto the back of my hand apologetically.

“I-I can’t say I forgive you,” I admitted.

“Nor should you. I won’t ever bother asking you to,” he muttered. “This is already much more than I deserve.”

“Jake, that’s not true,” I frowned. “You need help. Everyone deserves help.”

“No, not everyone,” he shook his head.

“Yes, you,” I rolled my eyes.

Jake raised his head and kissed my fingertips, “These are still so clean.”

“No, they’re not,” I sighed.

“They’re cleaner than you think. I don’t deserve this hand. I will only taint it,” he rambled.

“Jake, come on, get up,” I frowned.

Jake looked into my eyes as he put his lips around my pointer and middle fingers and softly lowered his mouth until he was past the second knuckle.

“Something tells me you want to taint it,” I raised my eyebrow.

Jake pulled my fingers out of his mouth leaving a trail of saliva between his lips and my fingers, “I want to corrupt all of you. I will if you keep letting me.”

I swallowed uncomfortably. There was such a darkness around Jake, and it had taken complete control of him. It threatened to engulf and pull me under with him. Oh how easy it would have been to let it consume me. No, my ego had to continue taunting it, thinking I had the upper hand and could control it. I pressed my fingertips against Jake’s lips then shoved my fingers back into his mouth. He eagerly started sucking on them, running his tongue lovingly along their length. I nearly fell into temptation, but the persistent pain on my arms reminded me that there were more pressing matters to take care of. I pulled my fingers back out and then lightly held his chin.

“Stand up, Jake,” I commanded, tugging the invisible leash.

Obediently, Jake stood up and followed me downstairs to the bathroom. I started to go through the first aid kit for the antiseptic solution, but Jake stopped me. He took my left arm and carefully unwound the ruined bandage, then proceeded to thoroughly clean the open burns and blisters. He reapplied the burn cream from the night before and pulled out a fresh bandage to rewrap my arm. After meticulously caring for my left arm, he repeated the process for my right arm just as diligently. Watching him, it was hard to think he was the same person who nearly killed me less than an hour ago. Glancing in the mirror, I noticed the bruise marks already starting to appear around my neck. The juxtaposition was so extreme that if it wasn’t for the physical evidence of Jake’s episode, I would’ve thought that I had imagined it, like it was a bad nightmare. It was too easy to forget how quickly he could snap.

The rest of the day passed rather uneventfully. Jake buried himself in his work, trying to distract himself from recent events. While he was occupied, I checked the news online to see what was being discussed about the fire. Generally the census was that the authorities had no information regarding the freak fire that burnt down the old warehouse, but I knew that wasn’t true. The articles mentioned some vagrants dying as a result of the fire, but that was as much as they mentioned. There was absolutely no mention of who or what they were, or of us. I suppose all things considered, that was for the best. I was sick of being painted as anarchist villains. I guess there was no story to weave so no propaganda to spin.

In the end it was just a fire that some nameless people died in. However, after a while, that started to unnerve me. All things considered, I shouldn’t have cared that Cyan and his cronies weren’t even named, but then I had a fleeting thought. If it was us, would we get a mention? Or would our deaths too be swept under the carpet like we didn’t exist? Would our loved ones even be told we died? Would our bodies be returned to them, or would we be cremated as John and Jane Doe? The fact I couldn’t even answer that made me sick. Suddenly I felt like there was real weight to Jake’s fear of being wiped from existence. It was too frighteningly easy to become lost and forgotten in this world.

#duskwood #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood jake #duskwood jake x mc #unrecognisable fanfic

[amimimi]

nightmares ; kyan reki

synopsis: in which Reki wakes up from a nightmare and you help him through the aftermath (take place after episode 7)

genre: hurt/comfort, angst with a fluffy ending

warnings: nightmares, panic attack, swearing,

word count: 2.5k

notes: this is sad af IM SORRY. i thought of this scenario when episode 7 dropped but I didn’t write it until recently. i'm going to do a part 2 to this post episode 11 and i promiseee it'll be a lot happier. I apologize in advance for spelling/grammatical errors.

it should’ve been movie night.

you should’ve been wrapped in reki’s arm watching pirates of the caribbean or some other corny movie, simply for the purpose of having not to exert any brain energy.

and you should’ve definitely been teasing reki by smacking noisy kisses on his face or blowing raspberries at the base of his neck.

but alas, it’s nearly midnight and you’re not doing any of aforementioned activities you should’ve been doing. instead, you’re finishing up a paper for your literature class due the next morning. reki, being the supportive boyfriend he was, offered to come over with snacks anyways to offer your moral support. “I gotta hold you accountable, babe!” reki grinned, squeezing your cheeks with both his hands.

that was nearly four hours ago.

currently, you’re furiously typing away at your paper with your legs stretched out in front of you. you were on your conclusion, trying to wrap up whatever you had written. your boyfriend is softly snoring beside you on your bed. he’s facing you, laying on his side with one hand resting on your lower thigh.

you paused from typing upon hearing reki sigh in his sleep. your heart swells and you have to hold back the urge to coo at the sight of reki drooling slightly onto one of your plushies. biting back a giggle, you set your laptop aside and snatch your phone off your bedside table.

after snapping four or so pictures, you notice reki’s brow is slightly furrowed. you still - thinking that you may have waken him up from shifting too much, until his brow furrows deeper and whimpers. your confusion morphs into concern and you realize that reki is having a nightmare.

shit. should you wake him? were you supposed to wake people from nightmares? you were sure you heard it makes it worse. or was that sleeping walking?

suddenly, reki’s eyes, bloodshot with sleep, flutter open as he rouses from whatever miserable dream he was having.

“reki?” you ask hesitantly as he struggles to sit up. he’s taking sloppy breaths, his eyes darting around the room until they land on you. “reki, are you okay?”

you feel your heart drop into your stomach when you see a mixture of confusion and terror in reki’s eyes. his breathing is now bordering on erratic but he manages to wave you away with his hand. “M’fine, m’fine!” he assured you, though his voice is slightly shaking. “you can go back to sleep, sorry to wake you”

you frown. “reki, i wasn’t sleeping. i was writing my essay, remember?”

he just stares at you with an unreadable expression. you want to reach out and touch him—or hold him or something, but you stop yourself. you’re afraid you might make whatever it is worse.

“reki, are you sure you’re alright—?”

but he’s already climbing off your bed, his movements frantic and unsteady. you hear him choke out “just gotta go to the bathroom” between barely audible pants. and before you have time to respond, the bathroom door down the hall shuts but you don’t hear the click of the lock.

with that, you’re left sitting alone in your room. you blink a couple times before hesitantly throwing your legs over the side of the bed. there was no way in hell he was okay and you knew that. never once have you seen him shaken up— so panicked like that. the look in Reki’s eyes and the tremble in his voice was enough to activate the urge to protect. but you were also scared. scared of doing the wrong thing, of messing up and making it worse.

Sighing, you sit back on your bed and decide to give him 10 minutes to gather himself. if he needed your help, you reasoned with yourself, he would’ve asked...

...would reki have asked for help?

knowing the answer to that question, you hauled yourself off your bed and tip-toed out of your room. the house was silent, save for the soft pattering of your footsteps and your parents' soft snores wafting over from their room. as you approach the bathroom as quietly as you can, the faint sound of reki gasping frantically become becomes more evident, and your heart breaks. it takes every ounce of willpower not to break the door down and you take a deep breath before softly knocking on the door.

"reki, baby?" you whisper, with your your lips almost pressed up against the door. reki doesn't answer, but he's still breathing erratically from behind the door and you wonder if he even heard you. “reki?”

no answer. wondering if reki even had the chance to lock the door, you gently twist the knobs and find that your suspicions were correct. you push the door slightly open and your heart shatters.

reki is visibly shaking where he stands in front of the mirror as he grips the edges of the sink, his knuckles white. still taking shuddering breaths, he hangs his head down, his hair plastered to his forehead, and eyes squeezed shut. he’s too absorbed in regaining control over his body to notice you had opened the door.

trying to keep the tremor out of your voice, you whisper his name to get his attention. “reki?”

he hears you this time. reki’s head snaps up so fast you swore you heard a crack. with glossy eyes, he looks up at the reflection of your face peeking in through the door. initially, confusion crosses his face, as though he forgot he was even in your house. however, confusion is quickly replaced with recognition, and his shoulders sag ever so slightly with relief.

“y/n?” reki croaks, and your lips upturn into a sad smile. he takes the sight of you in just a bit longer, deciding if he should be honest with you—if he should ask for your comfort. instead, he lets his head hang once more. “s-sorry, you can go back to bed. i’m fine”

“you don’t seem fine, baby”

reki doesn’t respond, neither conforming or denying your statement. biting your lip, you open the door wider but keeping from stepping in the bathroom. you want to make sure he’s okay, but you don’t want to infringe on his personal space.

“‘are you sick?” you gently question, watching a bead of sweat drip down his temple. his head still hanging, reki shakes his head. “no?”

“i—” reki is cut off by defeated sob and your heart strangles “i can’t calm down”.

something about his confession makes you feel like you’ve been kicked in the stomach. the only thing going through your mind is to protect, protect, protect, protect.

reki’s erratic breathing picks up again, and you step into the bathroom and shut the door behind you.

“okay, it’s going to be okay. i’m here”, you state as calmly as possible. “can i touch you?”

“y-yes” reki chokes out in between rapid breaths. with his consent, you step forward and gently place your hand to his back. his shirt is completely drenched in sweat, but you pay no attention as you rub small circles into reki’s back.

"you're going to be okay, i promise" you try to convince him, but he shakes his head.

"'feels like i'm dying", he says between harsh pants. a small frown forms on your face and you reach over to brush his hair out of his face.

"you're not, reki. you're having a panic attack and i know it feels really scary, but it'll pass" you tell him, trying to keep your voice firm. it devastated you to see him so distressed and you would've switched places with him in a heart beat if you could. "you're safe, i won't let anything happen to you, i promise"

you're not sure if reki believed you, but you meant it. reki was easily one of the most loving person you knew. he poured his heart into you making sure you always felt safe and heard. and not only for you, but for everyone he loved. you recalled many instances of reki grabbing and squeezing your hand in large crowds, ordering food for you whenever you felt shy. and if you had a big exam you were stressing about, he'd bring you breakfast and walk you into your class. reki was your rock so many times before, you wanted to be his now and forever.

reki suddenly jolts and you're snatched out of your train of thought. “'m so dizzy...” reki slurs, with his eyes squeezed shut.

“i know, baby”, you murmur, concerned that he wasn't breathing properly. “can you take a couple deep breaths with me?”

reki hesitates before giving a low sob, “i don’t know if i can"

"you can, reki. i'll do it with you, okay, love?" you soothe as you continue to rub his back. "breathe in through your nose-"

you take an exaggerated breath in through your nose for demonstration, and reki shakily breaths in. "good, you're doing good. and out through your mouth"

reki lets his breath out with a whoosh, and the heaviness in your chest dissipates just a little. "that's it, baby, you're doing so great" you coo. "now breathe in again for four second and out for four seconds. i'll count for you"

reki continues to take measured breaths in time to you counting and your hand doesn't once stray from his back. every now and then, you dab some sweat off his face with the sleeve of your sweater. you make sure to encourage him between breaths, to let him know you're not leaving. this continues on for a couple minutes until reki is able to take measured breaths on his own, without you counting. you never once stop rubbing his back. he's still trembling, but he seems to have calmed down a little.

“do you wanna sit down, maybe?” you’re eyeing the death grip he has on the edges of the sink to support himself up. the last thing you want is for him to collapse and potentially hurt himself. he nods his head, not opening his eyes. "bathroom or my bedroom?"

"bedroom" reki croaks, his voice sounding shot to hell. slowly, his teary eyes flutter open and he turns around to you, still gripping onto the sink. you both lock eyes and your heart bursts with love—like springtime erupted inside your chest.

"i'm so proud of you, reki" you whisper, stroking his face lovingly. he blinks at you before his bottom lip begins to quiver. for a second, you think he's gonna burst into tears but he only sighs shakily and leans into your hand. "come on, let's get you laid up and comfy"

•••

by the time reki is changed out of his sweaty shirt (he declined to take a shower, promising he'd wake up tomorrow to do so) and laid in your bed, he'd gotten through the worst of his panic attack. you had given him the snacks he had brought for you at the beginning of the night, prompting him to eat get rid of the shakiness.

now, reki was sat up in your bed, still donning the care bear blanket you draped over him and munching on a chocolate bar. he watched as you completed your skincare routine in front of your mirror. occasionally, you would glance over at him and smile reassuringly, to which he would tiredly smile back.

rubbing your moisturizer in, you make your way over to where reki is laid up on the bed. he's still chewing his chocolate bar, watching as you climb on the bed and pull yourself over to where he is laying. grinning softly, you tuck your feet under you and tuck a strand of hair behind reki's ear. he instantly nuzzles into your palm and oh, does your heart get soft.

"how do you feel?" you ask, your eyes scanning his face. the color has returned to his face, but his lips are chapped and his eyes are considerably sunken. "did you drink the water like i asked?"

"i'm feeling better and yes, i did" reki playfully retorts, sticking his tongue out at you. you purse your lips to one side and pinch his cheek, drawing a whine out of him.

"reki, look up at me real quick," you frown, holding his chin with your hand. reki momentarily forgets his chocolate bar and looks up at you, confused. you lean down and kiss him, staying like that for a couple seconds before you pull back with a grin. "there! all better!"

"was that supposed to be my get better kiss?" reki asks, his lips quirking with an amused smile.

"kinda? your lips were chapped so i wanted to give you some of my lip masque", you answer. reki rolls his eyes, but you don't miss the slight blush on his cheek. you giggle before reki wraps his arm around your shoulders and tugging you towards his chest. he grabs your nose with two of his fingers and you squeal with delight.

"what the hell is a lip masque?" he questions incredulously as you remove his hand from off your nose. you can't help the series of laughs that erupt from your chest. "oh my gosh, y/n, shhh! your parents will hear you!"

reki tries in vain to shush you, but he's giggling too, albeit a lot more quietly than you. when you manage to catch your breath, you pull yourself from reki’s grasp and sit up in front of him. the both of you smile softly at each other.

you wondered if you should ask him about his nightmare from before, although you had a feeling where this was stemming from. he seemed on edge—distant even, since the beef with adam. you remembered how distressed he was in the days leading up to the beef between adam and langa.

reki was still in a fragile state, you didn’t want to risk asking him about it so soon. maybe tomorrow? the day after that?

reki’s smile faltered. “you okay?” he asks quietly, bringing his hand up to your face. you blink, realizing that you weren’t doing such a great job of concealing your thoughts.

you sigh contentedly, twisting your head to kiss the palm of reki’s hands before placing your own hand over his.

“yes, i just—” you pause. “i just love you so much”

reki giggled and wow, was it the purest sound you’ve ever heard. he leans in and kisses you like you’re the most precious being in the world. “i love you too”, he murmurs, pressing his forehead against yours. you both stay like that, until reki yawns into your face.

“you need to rest, sweetheart”

reki frowns as you lay down, pulling him along with you. “but i am resting” he protests, stifling another yawn.

“i meant sleep” you reply, readjusting the carebear blanket around his shoulders. he tenses in your arms, but you press your lips against his forehead. “i’ll be here, i won’t leave. and i won’t let anything happen to you”

the tension in reki’s body eases and he sighs, nuzzling into your chest. “i love you...” he slurs, eyes already half shut.

“i love you” you whisper, fighting off sleep yourself. you waited until reki’s breathing deepened—the tell-tale sign of sleep, before you let yourself drift off too.

notes: this was long as hell, part ii will be way more happier and wayyy shorter.

#sk8 the infinty #reki #reki x reader #sk8 the infinity x reader #reki kyan x reader

[joheun-saram]

January Rain (jjk)

word count- 1.5k

pairing- ceo!Jungkook x secretary!Reader

rating- PG

genre- angst, fluff

warnings- none! :)

an- for the cute 🍒anon! I hope you like it!

-

You looked at the email your boss’s mother had sent you and felt a shiver run down your spine. You knew what you had with Jungkook was too good to last. It was a cliche really, the secretary sleeping with the CEO, but every time he looked at you, it was like you forgot your own name. The way his big doe eyes traced your features right before he devoured you, or the way he called you in his office for some paperwork, when really he just wanted to kiss you silly.

I'm not sure if Jungkook mentioned this to you yet, but can you please check when he is available for his date with Jisoo. Any time from Wed to Fri would work.

As you reread the email asking you to set a time for a date with his fiancee, you knew starting something with the handsome man across from you was a mistake. You would never be able to call him yours, never be able to hold his hand in public, and the thought made your eyes sting. Looking through his calendar, you did your job, quietly resolving to no longer fall for his charms. There was a reason he made the number of deals that he did, he was great at getting his way, but that would no longer be the case with you.

It was when you added the event in his calendar that he called your name. He was settled behind a large desk, the dark oak a contrast to the light cedar of the cabin. He had rented the chalet for the weekend, wanting a getaway to work on the new expansion proposal for the board. It was an added bonus that the large cottage came with a room with a king-sized bed and a hot tub on the back patio. Initially, you were looking forward to spending the weekend tangled up in the sheets with your boss, but the sound of your name on his lips just irritated you now.

He called you twice before you graced him with a glance in his direction.

"Why did you send me this?" He asked, eyes narrowed in your direction and jaw set. He seemed annoyed. Good.

"Your mother emailed me. I'm just doing my job," you replied with a huff, rolling your eyes at his demeanor as he sighed.

"Come here, baby." Jungkook spoke softly as he rolled his chair away from his desk, tapping his lap in an invitation. An invitation you would've jumped at a mere twenty minutes ago, but now it just caused frustration and hurt to bloom in your chest.

"I'm sorry. I think that would be unprofessional, sir." You remained straight-faced, averting your eyes towards your laptop as you continued to work through his emails and schedule for the week. He scoffed, turning to his true-tried method of humour to lighten the mood.

“Come on. I dare you.” He smirked, moving around his desk to lean against it, arms open, expecting you to grumble but make your way to him as usual. But you avoided looking at him, your full attention on your work, as you tried to pretend he wasn’t even in the room. In the attempt to shield your feelings, you missed the look of hurt that clouded his features as he lost his earlier confidence and fidgeted with the many documents strewn across his desk.

"Baby, look at me. Please?" Jungkook pleaded, the pout on his face evident through his voice. You couldn't look at him even if you tried, you knew the effect he had on you. It was the same adorable pout that had made you give him your heart the first time he aimed it at you. It was your kryptonite. The way he would be extremely polite and professional to all your colleagues but turn into a puppy whenever the two of you were alone. It was something that made you want him more, deluded you into thinking that he was only this open in front of you. But clearly, his change in character wasn't as special as you thought.

Ignoring his request, you swiftly stood from your seat on the couch, walking firmly to the main door into the cold rain outside. The freezing raindrops pelted your skin, making goosebumps rise in their wake as your teeth chattered. Although you had forgotten your coat in your haste to remove yourself from the situation, you didn't regret it one bit. You welcomed the chill, letting it cool you to the bone as you walked away from the fancy chalet. You didn't care that you would inevitably have to go inside in a few minutes and that you would also probably get a headache from the way the almost frozen droplets pelted your head.

Before you could walk too long though, you felt a pair of strong arms encircle you, the warmth of a firm chest molding to your back like a comfortable blanket.

"You're going to get sick," Jungkook murmured in your ear, his grip tight around your waist, as you tried not to give into him yet again.

"Stop worrying about me. You have Jisoo." You tried to push him off you, but his strength outmatched you by miles as he clung to your back, the two of you drenched and shivering.

"I don't want Jisoo. I want you." He whispered, his voice barely audible over the sound of the rain. His words sent the butterflies in your belly a flutter, but your brain refused to let them win. You shoved him off you, turning around to stare at him. 

His hair was in his eyes, the black curls obstructing his eyes, as he shook his head to see you clearer. He was drenched, his white shirt almost invisible, highlighting the contours of his body. He moved closer, rubbing his hands on your arms in an attempt to warm you up, but despite the way he looked at you softly, you shrugged him off once again.

"So what? You're gonna break off your engagement and run away with me?" you questioned, arms folded as your gaze hardened.

"Absolutely." There was no hint of hesitation in his eyes, and his determination broke down your defenses. Before you knew it you were staring at the ground, willing the tears to go away. You were never more thankful to have the rain soaking you through.

"Don't do this to me. I can't take this anymore," you spoke quietly, unsure if he could even hear you.

"Do what? I told you I don't want her. I want you." Jungkook held your arms, bending a little to make the eye contact you were so adamant in avoiding.

"But your mom -" Jungkook scoffed, cutting you off. His hands cupped your face as he tried to pour as much of his feelings through his gaze as he could, his warm chocolate eyes entrancing you like they always did. 

"Do you think I care? I did my part, took over the company like a good little boy. I'm not going to let her control me anymore." His gaze hardened as he spoke and it reminded you of your resolve. Even though he was determined right now, you knew Jungkook. Knew that he would always pick his mom over anyone else, knew that he would never want to disappoint her. And above all, you knew that she would never accept you. 

"Jungkook, I think it's best if we end this." And although your words spoke differently, you moved closer to him, your hands over his arms as you held on like he would let go. 

"No. How can it be best if I can't be with the woman I love?" His forehead met yours as he confessed and your heart felt like it could explode. In the year you had been part of this fling, he had never told you he loved you. Jungkook wasn’t one for words, he would instead buy you extravagant gifts and take you travelling. You had always hoped he felt what you did but you never thought you’d hear those words escape his lips.

"Love?" you asked in a daze, your resolve falling like crumbs to the wayside. Jungkook smiled at your confusion as if it was the most endearing thing in the world. His nose scrunched a little as it grazed yours and he giggled.

"I love you." 

You couldn’t stop yourself from crashing your lips to his. How could you, when the man you had been in love with for years finally spoke like he had in your dreams. His kiss warmed you up, making you forget about the rain still pelting from above and the chill in your bones. His arms encircled your waist once again, pulling you close, chest to chest, as yours found home around his neck. Kissing him was so easy, it was like your body was finally at peace in his arms.

"Tell me you love me too. Please?" He pleaded when you finally broke for air and the uncertainty in his voice made you want to do anything in your power to assure him.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." You kissed him with every confession, your heart finally being allowed to pour through your actions. 

You didn’t remember how long the two of you stood kissing in the cold January rain, but it was worth the stuffy noses and headaches that plagued you both for a week afterward. 

-

Like this? Check out my other works.

#thebtswritersclub #bangtanhq #btsnoonanet #thetruthuntoldnet #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook x yn #jungkook angst #jk fluff #jk angst #jk x reader #bts imagines #bts drabbles

[thekillingjoke-haha]

Prime Time,Bitch!

Tagged: @spnquotebingo the keep reading function is messing up for me

Sam said he was locked up tight in the dungeon. He was never locked in with her. She was locked in with him. The hunter becomes the hunted with no where to run.

Warning: Mature Language,Blood,Gore,Character Death?

-"Thoughts"- (they are red for those who can see)"Quotes" 'Reading'

"I'll be right back. This demon side is fighting to stay in control. I just need a few more pints of blood." Sam said as he slung a bag on his shoulder. "Yeah I got it get some food to!" Y/n said with a smile as she walked him to the impala. The roar of the engine rumbled as she waved him off going back inside what she didn't know was Dean knew that Sam just left and a chilling smile grew on his face.

Y/n popped popcorn as she sat in her room a horror movies playing as she got comfortable. A scream came from the movie drowning out the sound of the dungeon door opening up. The youngest Winchester laughed as a girl tripped over nothing her and Dean always make fun of them they had no real reason to hit the ground so they should get right up. This made her slightly sad. Was Sam going to fix Dean or was it already to late for him? Shaking off the thought the killer was about to crush the women's skull when the power cut out,but the red emergency lights didn't cut on yet which was weird. "God damnit." She grumbled getting up and grabbed a flashlight and went to the breaker to fix it walking right past the open door. Flipping the switch the normal lights don't turn on only the red ones and she turned around to get her phone to call Sam when she dropped her flashlight. Y/n gazed at the empty chair in the center of a devils trap she took off running to her room,but paused he knew she would run there for her phone and Dean or the demon he's become won't let her get help. She changed course to Sam's panic room to hide.

"Oh N/n where are you? I miss my little sister don't you miss me?" A metal sound of something dragging on the floor made her tense. Thinking of all possible things it could be of how she's going to die.–'It could be a bat,but we don't have any metal ones in the bunker. Maybe a sledgehammer,but that would have ment he when into the garage and the power going out would have locked everything.''– Her eyes widen as she released what it was he must have been carrying around she was sharpening it with the rest of the blades earlier that day."Have you figured it out yet? I know how you think when a horror movie is playing you see ever scenario before the movie can catch up. No wonder Sammy says you cheat at Clue!" Dean laughed as he seemed to wander to each room. The sound of wood splitting as he yelled "Here's Johnny!!!" It seemed so much worse that Dean was the evil this time a normal demon would know her so personally this seemed almost cruel him quoting films they watched together. "What to clichés? I admit the axe is old school."

The panic room the size of a cubbie it was so small,but just big enough I could calm down and think properly. Looking up another version of myself sat in front of me...my conscience. I could speak,but she could she's in my head after all. –"You can't run. There's nowhere to go doors locked down the moment the lights went."– I saw a illusion of myself running through the halls just to hit a corner and get a axe to the chest before it faded away. –"Can't go for your phone or your laptop he probably broke it the moment he noticed you weren't in your room."– I saw myself creep into my room just to see a shattered phone and my laptop with a cracked screen buffering to open instant messenger to text Sam. The laptop was slammed shut on my fingers causing some to break and get sliced by the glass looking up the sick grin of the Demon caught my eye before the axe ended that path. –"The burner. The one in your dresser Dean doesn't know about it so neither would the demon.Get it and get back here as quickly as possible. "– It was settled call for help. Listening for any foot steps I creep out of the hiding space a faint whistle going off down one of the many halls way from my room. Sneaking down the hallway staying low I get to my room where the door is torn to shreds as I open my drawer and fish out the phone. Going back down the hallway I get back to Sam's room and immediately call him.

"This call has been forwarded to a automatic voice message at the tone ples–" Hanging up I call again and again with no answer. At this point help was no longer a option. The whistling seemed to get closer and I rushed to the panic room until I paused. –"A enclosed space in a closet. There's not much space to move around if he finds you there your done for."– I back away slightly. –"Behind the door offers a easy place to hide and get out,but if he does the same to Sammy's door he did to yours it's not much of a hiding spot then."– A axe goes through the door creating a massive hole and Dean peaks inside and sees the white of you tank top in your (f/n) flannel. The door was whole again as I looked around the sound of metal getting louder running out of time. –"Under the bed allows you to see him without him seeing you,but like the panic cubbie not a lot of wiggle room if he hears you your done."– It was too late running to the metal door of the panic room she slams it shut not to loud to sound like she's trying to hide it,but just loud enough for the demon to register it. Sealing it shut I slip under the bed and wait for the time to get out and hopefully find a weapon.

Boots walked into the room turning to the closed closet. "Oh N/n!~ There's only so many places to hide in such a small room. Did you really think I wouldn't hear that heavy ass door close?" He chuckled darkly as he opened the closet and went to the small door. Dean tried turning the wheel to unsealed it,but it seemed to dawn on him that it could only be opened from the inside. With a huff anger he began pulling the brick of the wall started to bend outwards and crack. I was glad I wasn't in there. Going to slip out from under the bed while he's distracted the burner phone rang its annoying ringtone. Not even bothering to stop it I rush to get out faster,but a firm grip caught my ankle and dragged me out. Turning onto my back Dean stood their his apple green eyes staring at me. "Found you." He lifted up the axe having let go of my ankle lifting up my feet I put as much strength as possible into kicking his stomach. The demon was knocked back into the closest hitting the ground. Unfortunately axe still in hand. Stanfing up I ran leaving the phone behind. -"Sam took Baby so the trunk armory is out of the question. The garage has so pretty handy tools too bad that it was sealed along with the front and only entrance. Kitchen has knifes none that can hurt him,but just enough to slow him down. Library demon blade was in there last you checked,but Sam could have grabbed and put it on a high shelf."– Too many options and the kitchen was closer so that was the first stop grabbing a knife I held it tightly as a stalked slowly to the Library to see if there were any supernatural weapons.

The library was dark and the red lighting barely lit up the large room. "Would you like to play a game?" Dean mocked in a deep voice as he went around the bunker his voice echoing no real pinpointing where he is. I can't call Sam and prying to Cas hasn't worked meaning Dean made angel banishing symbols in most of the rooms. Y/n was getting desprit the bunkers massive size most of it was unexplored by them so being lost in a underground maze b wasn't the best option. "Are you scared yet Y/n? Well be afraid. Be very afraid. I'm what goes bump in the night sweetheart! Never thought the Winchester’s downfall will be by the hands of the oldest. What a twist!!! Right?" Dean yelled turning to the table I saw the supplies I cleaned with,but the weapons were gone and a note was left on in their place. 'Hey Y/n I put the weapons back into the trunk for tomorrow's hunt so you wouldn't have to...you're welcome and your blade was just sitting on the table so I put it up. ~Love Sam' I wanted to cry oh chuck nothing can save me in this buncker Bobby was sending us gallons of holy water next week because we were low...all rooms were demon proof,but he seemed to be a exception now,so no calling Crowley either.

Turning around the library doors open and I duck behind one of the many shelves. "Welcome to my nightmare!~" He said with a chuckle that bounced from every wall. Dean knocked down books and destroyed anything in his way while he looked around. Crawling on the ground I go to leave when the sound of something whooshing in the arm made me drop like a bag of rocks. The axe meet the shelf and I gazed at the red illuminated face of my brother eyes now black and demented. Laughter bubbled out of his chest as he mumbled. "Carful dear wouldn't want to lose you head." Yanking the axe free many books tumbled down. Taking the kitchen knife in hand I slash his calf and go for his thigh when the knife is flung out of my hands. "You little bitch!!!" He hissed now holding the knife and showing it into my stomach. A silent cry came from my lips bot to give him the satisfaction of my screams just yet. I look up at him and just past his head where I couldn't normally reach was the handle of my blade peeking over the shelf.

I begin to giggle and it turns into fits of laughter. Black eyes flicker back to confused green ones. "What's so funny?" I catch my breath as I lean up slightly. "You picked the wrong place to corner me. Wanna play?" Grabbing his knee and pulling it buckled under him causing Dean to hit the shelf letting the blade fall freely. Reaching out I catch it "Let’s play." Stabbing upward into his stomach the same place the knife was lodged in my own stomach. He howled in pain as I removed the blade and ran keeping pressure on the knife wound as I turned corners just to get away. -'He played with your head play with his. The intercomes...a good distraction can lead him away and let you get the jump.'- I hurry to the intercoms not before making a pit stop.

Demon!Dean POV

I growl at the wound on my body the little shit stabbed me. This makes killing her so much easier then she can be just like me. Grabbing the axe I stomp through the bunker. "What a excellent day for an exorcism." Her voice sounded through the speakers now I know were she is. "Would you like that?" I said aloud with a grin. "Intensely." Y/n said trying to make her voice horse before the clipping sound of the intercom stopping rang out before being replaced with a creepy melody that always scared her. "There was a crooked man. He walked a crooked mile he had a crooked six pence upon a crooked stile." It went on with childish like tones until it got further in the song it was so god damn loud though. "The crooked man stepped forth and... rang the crooked bell and thus his crooked soul... spiraled into a crooked hell.Murdered his crooked family... and laughed a crooked laugh." My ear drums almost burst at the loud deep voiced scream ears still ringing I didn't register the blade being driving into my sholder flinging her back I turn around as she's running down the narrow hallway taking the axe with both hands throw it straight and the axe hit her almost dead center in the spine. The audio cut off after the song and I stood over her. Y/n had her face turned coughing up blood I definitely hit her lung. "Thanks for catching it for me." I smile as I heavily put my foot on the small of her back pulling the axe out. She screamed out it was mildly gurgle from the blood. Turning her over my little sisters eyes shined with unshed tears. "Oh,no tears,please. It's a waste of good suffering." I said with a small whipping the few that slipped by she whimpered Sam's name and I grew frustrated. Lifting the axe again. "Looks like you couldn't make the cut,N/n. Just another extra that stuck around for too long." Dropping the axe down it went into her chest the creaking of her collar bone and sternum were whispers compared to the blood curdling cry. They soon died out as her skin paled and her breathing stopped she'llmake a strong demon. "See you soon." Taking the axe out I begin to drag her body.

The lights in the bunker cut back on meaning Sammy was home. Having placed her perfectly in the chair I was tied to I wait until he finds her standing next to the door. "Y/n?! Y/n!?" He yelled most likely having gone to her room rushing the the dungeon his heavy foot steps abruptly stopped. "Oh God! Y/n come on!" The moose of a man rushed in the room cradling her face in his hand. "You were too late, Sammy. She called your name before she went,but I guess five missed calls wasn't enough for you to rush home. N/n fought for so long waiting it out just for you to never show." I said closing the door as he turned to me standing infront of her corpse. "You didn't make things easy on her. I mean you took all the weapons and put the only thing to defend herself on the top shelf...like keeping the cookie jar way from a child. In some way you killed her before I could." Lifting the demon blade that had his own blood on it. I stalked towards him cornering him in the room. "Sure you won't give me a good chase,but woah she wore me out." Holding the blade to his throat when a gun shot fired and a sting hit my arm causing me to drop the knife.

Y/n stood colt in her left hand the axe keeping her up in her left. "Demons always so sure that what's dead is dead and can't be undead. Ever heard of a pulse jackass. " so distracted that she was alive Sam was able to restrain and she held a handful of bags of blood. "Let's get this over with." She bagan to inject me and I felt myself become mire human and I started thrashing hard. With the last vile in hand she looked into my eyes. "You should be dead." I hissed as she pushed the needle in. "Sorry. I'm into survival."

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

A/n This is the last one in round one of the Spnquotebingo and I ended with a dozen quotes.

Title: "Prime Time,Bitch!" Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

"Here's Johnny!" -The shinning

"Would you like to play a game?" - Saw

"...be afraid. Be very afraid"- The fly

"Welcome to my nightmare."- Nightmare on Elm Street

"..lose your head." Alice in Wonderland

"Wanna play?"- Child's Play

"What a excellent day for an exorcism...Would you like that?....Intensely." - The Exorcist

"There was a crooked man. He walked a crooked mile he had a crooked six pence upon a crooked stile." It went on with childish like tones until it got further in the song it was so god damn loud though. "The crooked man stepped forth and... rang the crooked bell and thus his crooked soul... spiraled into a crooked hell.Murdered his crooked family... and laughed a crooked laugh." - The Conjuring 2

"Oh,no tears,please. It's a waste of good suffering." - Hellraiser

"See you soon." - Coraline

"She called your name before she went,but I guess..." -Hadestown

"...what's dead is dead and can not me undead." -Jacksepticeye (DBD playthrough)

"I'm into survival." ‐Nightmare on Elm Street

#spnquotebingo #supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #winchester!sister #winchester!reader #demon!dean #horror movies #horror quotes #Dean winchester x sister!reader #sam winchester x sister!reader #castiel #crowly #hunter being hunted

[itsjustmyfantasyroom]

Play ball

Hope you guys enjoy this little two parter as much as i enjoyed writing this one.

Warnings: Usual SVU, SVU crimes, smut 

Enjoy x

Chief Dodds got all the Special Victims Lieutenants together for a leadership conference. At the end he gave them all strict instructions that he wanted them and their squads to get to know each other just in case everyone ever needed to work together and he also told them that he wanted them to involve their ADA's.

Rafael was sitting next to you at your desk waiting for Liv to get off the phone. You guys were holding hands. Rafael was holding your right hand, while he played with his grandmother's ring on your finger and laughing with each other.

"You guys make me sick" Amanda had a foul look on her face.

"You’re just jealous Rollins" Fin laughed, you laughed out loud.

"What's your problem Rollins?" Rafael looked at her with his well-known smirk

"Nothing Counselor" she looked back at her laptop.

"OH good you’re all here, Barba you need to hear this as well" Liv said as she walked out of her office.

"As you all know Dodds wants all SVU's and their ADA's to have a social relationship. So" she paused with a small smile on her face "This Saturday, all of us, including you Barba, have to be in New Jersey by 9 for a baseball knock out torment. It's going to be an all-day thing, and there will be a cook out and drinks after the final round"

Rafael looked at you and rolled his eyes, you giggled back at him. He hated these kind of things, sometime you had to push him just to go out for a drink with the rest of the squad.

"This will be so much fun" Sonny beamed "I’ll get to see my old squad and introduce you all"

"It should be a good day" you smiled

"Dodds has ordered t shirts and hats for each squad, they should be here by the end of the week"

"I think I’am busy" Rafael stood straightening his suit "Give my apologies to the Chief"

"No Rafa you will be there. I'll pick you and Y/N up"

"Don't worry Liv, I'll make sure he wears the t shirt too" you all chuckled, he lent down and kissed your cheek and walked into Liv's office.

"Rafa, does Dodds know about you and Y/N?" Liv looked at him from behind her desk.

"No, why does he need to know?" Liv gave him a disapproving look.

Amanda came and sat on the chair next to you, where Rafael was just sitting, you looked at her smiling

"What's up Detective?" you smiled.

"Tell me your secret"

"What secret?"

"You guys have been working together for ages, you have lived together for a while and you still act like that. What's the secret?" You and Sonny both laughed, you shrugged your shoulders.

"I don't know Amanda, that's just how it is. Maybe you should find yourself an ADA on Saturday" she laughed back at you and winked.

****

"I have a parcel for an Olivia Benson"

"I' am Olivia Benson" Liv walked out of her office and took the box out of the man's arms.

"Are they our shirts for Saturday?" You asked. Liv walked over to your desk and placed the box down. You opened your top draw and pulled out a pair of scissors and cut the tape to open the box.

"YES" you pulled out a bright purple shirt with a big 'Manhattan' printed on the front in white, Liv pulled them all out of the box, and started to look at the sizes. They were all one size fits all. She gave everyone a shirt and then a hat. You put the hat on your head and you held the shirt up to your body for size.

"I' am not wearing that" Rafael spat

"Don't be like that Barba. Think of it as team bonding" he rolled his eyes at Liv and headed into her office after giving you a wink.

Rafael and Liv where sitting in her office when she called you in. You walked in and closed the door, Liv was behind her desk and Rafael across from her.

"Have I done something wrong?" you looked between them both.

"No not at all, we just need to have a chat" you sat down and look at Rafael who smiled at you. You looked back at Liv.

"So, you know I have no issues with your guy’s relationship, and the DA doesn't mind. But Chief Dodds and after how Judge Barth reacted-"

"I know" you said giving her a nod you understood.

"Hermosa, it's for the best, just for now, that on Saturday, we keep our relationship between us. He can be a loose cannon and we have had words many times. I don't want him making it hard for us"

"I agree" you smiled at them both. "I'll tell the others to keep their mouths shut".

*****

Saturday morning you guys woke up early to get organised. Liv was picking you guys up last at 7.30, Sonny was going to meet you all there. After some sweet talk, a little bit of dirty talk and promise for that night when you guys got home, Rafael put on the purple shirt with a pair of jeans and dark coloured runners, but he drew the line at the hat.

You both really didn't know how you were both going to hide your relationship, you couldn’t keep your hands off each other at the best of times, but you were both going to try your hardest, neither of you wanted someone like Chief Dodds to try and break you guys up just because he didn't like it.

Rafael was making coffee when you walked out, his mouth almost hit the floor when he saw you. You had light blue jean shorts they were almost tight fitted, but not too short, your purple shirt tied at the front, showing a tiny bit of your stomach and sleeves rolled up showing off your arms, with ankle white socks and black runners. Your hair was pulled back in a ponytail hanging out the back of your hat. You were all legs,

"Is the coffee ready Rafi? Liv will be here soon"

"Have you always owned those short?"

You looked at him funny, but once you seen his face you knew what was going on and you laughed at him.

"Do you like them?" you winked at him.

He nodded biting his bottom lip as you took step closer putting your hands on his chest, he took a deep breath as he twitched behind his zipper, trying to control himself to not bend you over the kitchen bench, when he looked down and saw your hand. He stepped back with an instant change, you didn't know what happened.

"Where’s your ring?"

You pulled your necklace out from under your shirt,

"I just put it on my necklace till after the games. I don't want anything to happen to it or lose it" you looked up at him "Rafi, are you ok? Talk to me" he grabbed you and took you in his arms. He hide his face in your neck.

"I'm sorry hermosa, I shouldn't have acted like that" 

"It's ok. I just wanted it to be safe" you ran your fingers through the hair at the base of his neck. He pulled back and kissed you deeply.

"Now back to those shorts" Rafael smirked at you reaching around to grab you ass cheek. You giggled back and then your phone started to ring.

"Hey Liv- ok we will be right down"

----

"GO SONNY" Liv screamed

"KNOCK IT OUT CARISI" Rafael yelled.

You guys made it to the final round. It was between you guys and Brooklyn SVU. Rafael and Fin had a tiff about being coach, Rafael won of course. Fin was on first, you were on second and Amanda was on third, if Sonny hit a home run the game was yours, it was his second bat. The ball flew towards him and he whacked it hard, it went flying far into outfield for an infield home run.

You all ran towards home base one by one. Liv and Rafael were standing there high fiving you all as you ran to them.

"And the winners are Manhattan" Chief Dodds announced over the speaker.

You guys all walked into the dug out to pick up your things. You had your foot up on the bench fixing your shoe laces when you felt a hand grab your bum and warm air near your ear, " You played amazing Hermosa" you stood up and Rafael kissed you quickly before anyone could see.

"Barba, Y/N, come on" Liv ordered you both out.

"Rafi, can you hold my bag please" he nodded and took it off you. You reached up to your necklace and undone it slipping off the ring. You slipped it back on your finger and did your necklace up again. You looked at Rafael who was smiling and winked at him.

"Sorry Barba, can I have Y/N for a bit? There are some people I want her to meet"

"Yeah sure, I have to go and talk to some ADA's anyway" you gave him a small smile and walked off with Sonny.

----

"Ah, Detective Y/L/N, so nice to see you again" Chief Dodds held out his hand to yours to shake it.

"Nice to see you again Chief" you gave him a small smile

"You played great today, well done"

"Thank you" you gave him a slight smile.

"I have someone I would like you to meet" he turned around and called over a tall dark handsome young man who start to walk towards you both.

"Mike, this is Detective Y/N from Benson's squad, Y/N this is my son Mike Dodds"

You looked over and gave him a smile, he reached out his hand and you shock his in return.

"Nice to meet you Mike" you said back

"Like wise" he smiled at you.

"You guys should get to know each other" Chief Dodds winked at you and walked away.

"Did your Dad just play wing man for you?" You laughed

"Yeah. Sorry" he went red and you laughed again.

"It's ok, parents hey" he shrugged his shoulders at you with a big grin.

"Here's your drink Y/N" You turned your head and Sonny was next to you and handed you a beer. You had never been so grateful for Sonny in your life.

"Hey I'm Sonny Carisi, Y/N's partner" he held out his hand to Mike.

"Mike Dodds"

"Oh, the Chiefs son, yeah cool, nice to meet you" Mike smiled at him

"The Chief is trying to play match maker" you looked up at Sonny.

"Carisi, Y/N, dinner is ready, winning team eats first" Fin yelled to you both.

"Nice to meet you again Mike" you looked at him with a smile and went to walk away.

"Yeah nice to meet you Mike" Sonny copied

Mike grabbed your lower arm and stopped you.

"Ah hey, you seem like a nice person" he pulled out his wallet and pulled out a card and handed it to you "Next time you have a free weekend, give me a call and maybe we can have a drink" you went red gave him a smile and walked away, linking on to Sonny's arm.

"Did that really just happen?" Sonny looked down at you.

"Yep" you answered back rolling your eyes

"What are you going to do?"

"Nothing, I'm Rafael's. I'll give the card to Amanda" you both laughed.

You both got your dinner and went and sat with the others. You sat next to Rafael, Sonny on your other side. You pulled the card out of your back pocket and threw it in front of Amanda who was sitting across from you.

"What's this?" She asked picking it up.

"The next weekend your free give that number a call" Sonny said to her.

"Who's Mike Dodds?" she raised an eyebrow at you

"The Chiefs Son" you looked over at her "Chief Dodds was trying to play match maker" you sounded less than impressed.

"What?" Rafael spat out. You looked over at him, he was mad and slightly jealous, you grabbed his knee under the table and squeezed it.

"Chief Dodds wanted to set me up with Mike. Thank goodness Sonny came when he did and Fin said the food was ready. As I went to walk away he grabbed my arm and gave me his card and said next time I'm free on a weekend to give him a call for a drink"

Amanda threw the card back at you. You picked it up and ripped it in half.

After dinner you all sat around drinking, different Detectives and ADA's came over at different times introducing themselves and you all made small talk and cracked jokes here and there.

"Ah Beson's squad" you all looked up and saw Chief Dodds.

"Hey Chief" Liv said, he sat down on a chair that was empty next to Amanda and looked at you.

"Mike told me he gave you his card, make sure you give him a call when your free next, he's a good kid" he smiled, you could feel Rafael tense next to you.

"Ah Chief, I'm sure he is and as an amazing wing man that you are, I'll have to say no, thanks anyway" he frowned at you "I'm already spoken for"

"Yeah, anyone I know?" He looked straight into your eyes.

"Yes actually, Rafael"

"Barba? You’re dating the ADA?"

"Is that a problem Chief?" Liv butted in

"You approve of this Benson?"

"I do actually and so does the DA" Liv smiled at him.

"I guess I'm always the last to know when it comes to your squad"

"Apologies Chief, But with all due respect, I didn't know I had to run my relationships by you" you felt all eyes on you but you didn't break your stare down with him. "Our relationship doesn't affect our work, Rafael and I are pretty good at keeping that separate. Everyone here can back me up on that. I hope this isn't going to be problem" he smirked and looked at the table.

"You are definitely one of Benson's. But if I hear anything negative about you two, you will be hearing from me"

"Well Chief" you lent on the table, "I promise you that you won't, and if you do, I'll sooner transfer out then have someone come in and try and break up my relationship"

"Only time will tell" he got up and walked away.

"One of Benson's?" You repeated looking at Liv who had her mouth slightly opened not quite sure what had just happened.

"Holy Cow Y/N, do you know who you were just talking too?"

You stood up off your chair "I' am well aware Sonny, thank you. Anyway I need a drink, anyone else want one after that" they all laughed and raised their hand.

"I'll help you" Rafael stood up, grabbed your hand and you guys walked to get drinks.

"Wow Hermosa"

"Did I go too far?"

"What, no, not at all. I’ am just surprised. He's the Chief"

"He just tried to set me up with his son and then judged me for dating you. I'm sorry, I know we wanted to keep it too ourselves" He stopped and pulled you to look to him, not letting go of your hand and laughed.

"Why are you sorry, you just stuck up for our relationship" he lent over and kissed you softly on the lips "I love you mi Hermosa"

"I love you Rafi"

"Would you really transfer out? You’re so happy here"

"I know, they are my family. I love working with them, but if it got to that point, yes I would. I never want to lose you or this relationship. I would still see them because you would still be working with them, so really it’s a win win"

----

"Liv I'am sorry about the Chief" you were sitting in the middle of Rafael and Amanda in the back of her car.

"Why are you sorry?" Liv chuckled

"That maybe I took it too far? He is the Chief"

"Don't be silly, you stuck up for your relationship. You’re just marked as one of Benson's now" you snorted back

"I'd rather be one on Benson's then Chief Dodds daughter in law" you rolled your eyes.

----

Once you guys got upstairs, you started getting cloths for a shower,

"Hermosa, I just have to look at these emails, I won't be long"

Once you were dressed from a shower, you went and laid on the bed turning on the TV relaxing after the big day you had. About an hour later Rafael walked into the bedroom just after coming out of the shower with a towel around his waist. You sat up resting back on your bent elbows, with your head tilted to the side watching him with a small smile on your face. He seen the looked on your face and a smirk came to his,

"See something you like Hermosa?"

"You could say that"

You sat up and let your legs fall over the side of the bed, he made his way over to you and stood in front of you between them. You lent forwards and started to kiss around his belly button, you felt him shiver as you kissed down to the edge of the towel. You looked up at him, his eyes where narrowed to you and he was breathing heavy. You reached up and pulled the towel off leaving him standing there completely naked. He was already semi hard. You lifted up right hand and wrapped it around him, and started to rub from root to tip.

His eyes where shut and his mouth slightly open letting out little huffs as the pleasure started to rush through him. He was holding onto your shoulders squeezing lightly with every stroke.

It didn't take long till he was hard enough to put him in your mouth. He was so wrapped up in the pleasures his eyes still closed, he didn't notice what was going on till you licked his tip and then slide him half way into your mouth.

You slowly started to bob up and down, licking a little more roughly as you got to the tip. His fingers where running through your hair. You reached around and grabbed his ass, taking each cheek into each hand. You kept moving your mouth up and down his length, but now when you got to his base you pulled him more into your mouth hitting the back of your throat and squeezing each cheek when you did slightly gagging.

"Hermosa, you keep doi-oh my-" he threw his head back, he was close you could feel it. You picked up your pace, and after a couple more pulls deep into your mouth, he tightened his grip in your hair and he grunted your name, spilling into you. You slowed your sucks till he had finished and he slowly pulled out of your mouth as he tried to settle his breathing.

"Wow" he huffed.

"A promise is a promise Rafi" you winked licking your lips.

Tags: @dianilaws​ @scarletsoldierrr​ @beccabarba​

#ada rafael barba #ada barba #rafael barba x yn #Raul Esparza #BRING BACK BARBA #law and order svu #barba x reader #rafael barba #barba and reader #rafael barba fanfiction #fantasy #fanfic #SVU fanfiction #SVU FANDOM #svu fan #nbc svu #svu x reader #we love barba #rafael barba imagine #barba fanfic #barba fanfiction #fanfiction #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x #rafael x reader #rafael barba x reader #reader insert #barba smut #rafael barba smut #svu smut

[qilwashere]

Hinata Shoyo

Hinata is your neighbor, and you've known each other for the past few years.

You met him near the bathrooms by the water fountains at one of his games, ironically, right after he had gone into the men's room to empty his stomach, since he used to get nervous all the time before a match. Since then he's gotten better, but you still worry for him sometimes.

You always help each other with homework or volleyball, although it's kind of one-sided, since you're super smart and he's very dedicated to being a middle blocker.

You always thought of him as a best friend, nothing more, although over the past few weeks, you'd been questioning yourself about that. He's been hanging out with you less, but youre pretty sure it's just because he's been busier lately. Sometimes your anxiety gets the best of you and you wonder if you did something to provoke him to not want to be around you. Every time this thought pops up in your head you have to take a deep breath to rid your brain of it.

At school his grades have gradually getting worse so you proposed a study date. As soon as you asked him you went red, hoping he didn't take it the wrong way. "I-I didn't mean a real date, it's not like--" you stumbled over your words, but he interrupted you with a laugh and said "Sure, that'd be nice. Whatever day you're free," he smiled at you. You nodded quickly and agreed on a Wednesday. You both parted ways until the set date.

At around 5:40 that Wednesday, you pace around your bedroom waiting for that familiar chime coming from your front door, letting you know that Hinata was there. It never arrives, and your worries that he's trying to keep out of contact with you come flooding your mind once again. You hope that at least he'll text you that he couldn't make it, but no chimes come from your phone either.

The next day, Thursday, at school, you don't see him in any of your usual classes together, which concerns you because he almost never misses a day. Is he sick? you wonder to yourself, and can't get him off your mind until your friend Yachi invites you to her table at lunch to discuss the new club openings that they could join together.

You start to ask her if she's seen Hinata but stop yourself mid-phrase and continue eating.

The days drag along. You haven't heard a thing from Shoyo all week.

You make a last attempt to contact him by texting, "Hey, we missed our study session :p wanna try again tomorrow?" It was a Sunday, so you felt like the next day would be a good time. It surprises you when he responds almost immediately after with "Sure :D See you at school :)". Your heart leaps but you remember that this could all be a set up.

Nah, you reassure yourself, Shoyo's way too nice for that.

For the rest of the day you surprise yourself when your feet guide you to the school gymnasium. You walk in hesitantly towards the door and remember that--

Of course. Why did you think the gym would just be open to anyone? On a Sunday, at that? You bury your face in your hand and turn back when someone comes up behind you-- Yachi.

"Hi Y/N! What are you doing here? I came because I was forgot my bag in here on Friday and never got a chance to get it back. I figured I'd stop by and pick it up before school tomorrow," she says casually. You stare at her wide-eyed. "...Is something wrong?" She asks you. You shake you head no but reply, "I was.. uh, well I was hoping to practice volleyball drills for a bit." Your response surprises you, since you'd been happy to talk with people about it but never really played the sport, or seemed interested in doing so.

"We can't get in without the key, though, so--" you start, but Yachi cuts you off: "Oh, that's no problem, I'm the manager of the volleyball club! I thought I told you... Anyways, let me just make sure I have it on me--" she pauses and pats herself down until she finds a keychain in her pocket, "--we're good!" She says cheerfully.

Your bubbly friend unlocks the key to the Karasuno gym and pulls the basket of volleyballs out of the corner. You grab a ball and toss it up, lace your hands together and face your forearms towards the ceiling, and bend your knees to receive.

The toss was off so you have to shift to the left a little to receive it right, but the feeling of it bouncing off of your arms is so... exciting. You shuffle your feet quickly forward to get directly under the ball again and - POOMF - you hit it up perfectly again. The ball comes down once more and this time when you receive it, you decide to send it over and aim for the left corner of the court. You brace your arms, wait for the point of contact, shrug your shoulders and send the ball flying up... Over... And right inside the left lines on the other side of the net.

You pat yourself on the back for a second and continue doing some volleyball practice. You practice aiming your tosses and have Yachi (attempt to) give you some good sets for spikes. After about an hour and a half, the sun starts to disappear behind the hills. You pick up the balls with the new club manager and say your goodbyes before heading home.

Once you get to your room, you notice that your laptop is open so you decide to check your socials. You try to deny it but you know you're secretly hoping for a DM from Shoyo. As you scroll through your messages you start seeing chats that you hadn't opened in a good while. They don't interest you, though, because you just want to hear from that energetic tangerine-haired boy.

You slump onto your bouncy mattress and it seems to groan in agony as you get comfortable. Eventually your eyelids grow heavy and you decide to rest.

That next day, Hinata comes over to your house,  and you're just hopping into your neatest skirt when you open the door. You're ready for your study date, but before you can stay anything, he grabs your hand and almost drags you down the block to a wide field. As you're jogging beside him on that cloudy day, struggling to keep up, you sneak a glance at him and notice that he's looking happier than you'd ever seen him. You smile to yourself, look down, up again, and run faster to challenge his speed.

"No fair, you got a head start!" He pants, and you laugh.

Eventually you get to a large field with tall grass and a few dandelions.

"I... Need a break," you can barely get out as you bend over and breathe hard. Hinata does the same thing, and after a moment he says, "Hey, (Y/N), see that really tall blade of grass over there?" He says to you. "You mean the one that's taller than you?" You joke, and he scowls. "....Yeah, that one. I'll race you to it!" He taunts, and you gladly accept the challenge. Forgetting about school for a while, you sprint towards the grass towering over all the rest. He beats you, as always, but you don't care because even if you lost, you had more time to spend with him and that's all you needed.

By the time you reach the grass, you're both too weak to stand up, so you lay in the field, next to each other, hands just barely touching, and look at the clouds in the sky. You breathe hard and think about your best friend beside you, and feel yourself blush as you smile to yourself again.

It's quiet so as you push yourself up on your elbows, you try think of a way to start a conversation. "I, uh... I practiced some volleyball yesterday." You stumble over your words, but he perks right up at this, wide-eyed since you're not exactly the athletic type.

"Really?! How was it? Did you hit a spike? Did you practice your tosses? How were your receives? When the ball hit your arm did it go 'poomf?'" He bombards you with questions, doing the same movements he usually would on the court, since this is his area of expertise.

You try to answer him the best you can, "Well, actually, I did try to hit the ball over - Yachi, the new manager, tossed some balls to me - but they always hit the net... My sets were pretty good, and, I could control my receives!" You got excited near the end, almost bouncing, because the few times you practiced with Hinata, strangely, you struggled the most with your receives.

Hinata seems to remember that, because when you mention your improvement, he almost yells, "That's great Y/N! We should practice one day!" You agree with a giggle.

After a few minutes, the world seems to calm down, and so do you. Taking in loads of air at a time, you stare at the sky and try to trace shapes in the clouds.

"I miss you," Hinata says suddenly, almost under his breath. It surprises you and you go silent for a while. "I..I missed you too. A lot," you add, unsure of how to really respond.

He sits up and says, "I'm sorry we haven't talked, it was an accident. I got caught up in volleyball and my failing grades but-- but the few days I haven't seen you made me realize that I want you... More than you, or I, even know..." He trails off, playing with his fingers, and your heart skips a beat.

"I need you, (Y/N)." Hinata mumbles, staring at your bright (E/C) eyes. You nod, not knowing what to say. "Can I.. can I have you?" He asks, embarrassed. You nod again, harder, and grin at him. "Yeah," you just barely whisper, gazing at him as if he were the only thing in the world, and for that minute, he was.

He returns the smile, and it seems like, for that second that he does, the clouds go away, almost like they're making room for the ball of sunshine sitting next to you.

In that moment, with the (real) sun setting, and the dandelions swaying in the slight breeze, you realize that you do love this boy, and that you'd do anything for him. You move your hand slightly to the right so that your pinkie is resting on top of his. You sneak glances at him, and wonder if something's gonna happen.

Shoyo is quiet for the  rest of the time, and you don't kiss, but that's okay because...

Because he's yours. And you're his. And that's a better feeling than any kiss could've granted you.

|~Fin~|

AHHH I know there wasnt much action lol I just had to do this lol. As always thanks for reading <3

#hinata shoyo x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu oneshot #oneshot #fanfic #fanfiction #oh right idk how to use tags

[fireblaze5555]

Another quick Kastle short while I am quarantining.

------

Frank found himself beat to hell and tied to a chair, his most recent war had some unseen players that broadsided him. It was unusual for him to be caught unawares but shit happens and here he sat. His face was throbbing and he was pretty sure he had at least one busted rib but he wasn't overly concerned yet. So far, the man who claimed to be the head of this mess had just talked. Endlessly. About his 'empire' and how stupid 'the Punisher' was to have interfered.

Frank hadn't said a word since he woke up, which by his estimation was several hours ago, mostly just looking unimpressed and annoyed, sizing up the room for when he made his move. He was brought out of his contemplation when they set a laptop in front of him on a small table, the screen black. He raised an eyebrow at the man before saying, "First time I've had a complementary movie, very considerate of ya." His voice was rough with disuse and he punctuated it by spitting some blood from his mouth.

The man, Marcetti, that's what he'd said his name was, gave a low chuckle before having a henchman turn the screen on. It only took Frank a second to recognize what he was looking at and suddenly all he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears.

Karen's apartment. He knew from the angle that the camera had to be in the bookshelf and he wracked his brain, trying to think of when they could have had a chance to plant a camera in her place. Or how they knew she was connected to him, he had been so careful with his Karen Page related indulgence.

Frank didn't say anything but the look he turned on the mob boss had the man taking an involuntary step back. Marcetti recovered quickly though, arrogance lacing his tone, "Are you surprised? Didn't think we would know that the Punisher has a soft spot for tall blonde legal assistants?"

An irrational part of Frank's brain wanted to correct him, she's a P.I., freelance investagative reporter and so much fucking more you piece of shit, but he knew that would only confirm to the man that he had struck a chord. So he ignored him, facing back to the screen and fast tracking his plan to get out of here so he could clear her apartment before she got back. He desperately hoped that she had made plans with Nelson or even Murdock and wouldn't be returning to her apartment any time soon.

His heart sank in his chest when he saw her come into view, carrying a clothes basket. Everything slowed down in that moment and details stood out in striking clarity as fear gripped him. She was wearing that tank top he liked, the one made of soft material that showed off the perfect shape of her breasts. It was shorter in the front so when she stood he could just see her belly button and a strip of taut pale skin on her abdomen. It was loose and flowy, granting him easy access to aforementioned breasts. She had on yoga pants, her favorite pair, and her hair was braided as it often was when she was cleaning the apartment. Karen settled on to the couch to start sorting laundry, he saw her haphazardly throwing her socks together before she came upon a pair of his. His heart ached as he saw her roll them the way he did on the occasion he was there to help with domestic tasks.

Frank's world sped back into focus as Marcetti clicked his tongue appreciatively, "My, my, you do have good taste Mr. Castle. She is lovely. I'm glad I ordered them to bring her here, I think she will be great fun to keep around once you are dead." Frank's whole body jerked towards the man involuntarily. The mob boss flinched trying to hide it by motioning for a lackey to land a few punches to Frank's snarling face. His eyes returned to Marchetti after every blow, unyielding.

"You put your hands on her and I will make sure you die as slowly and painfully as possible." His voice was low and full of promise.

"You aren't really in any position for threats. So just sit back and enjoy." His smile made Frank want to make the man swallow his own teeth. He was about to tell him as much when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Karen tense up and turn to the direction of her front door. A second later she was on her feet with the coffee table between her and two men.

Frank's breathing was labored as he watched them slowly approach her. Dread, panic and guilt churned in his chest, he was going to have to watch someone else he loved die, once again not being able to do a goddamn thing about it. When the first blow landed on her face he let out a bellowing yell that had everyone in the room step back. Frank pulled on his restraints, fighting to get his emotions under control. He had to get out of here, now, he may still be able to get there in time.

He froze though, when he saw Karen lash out with a vicious kick to the side of one of the mens' knees, collapsing it sideways. The other grabbed her by the hair but she instantly dropped to the ground causing him to lurch forward which brought him in range for her to snap her head back into his nose. As he clutched at his bloodied face, Karen stood quickly, swaying slightly, Frank was sure that the blow to the back of her head was disorienting. In a matter of seconds she had her .380 in her hand steadily staring the man down.

Pride swelled in Frank's chest, his panic ebbing only slightly, as he watched her beautiful mouth giving the man hell. Her hands were steady and her form was perfect. If he wasn't so terrified for her safety, Frank would be incredibly turned on. He knew she was telling her assailant to get on the ground, she would shoot if she had to but she would avoid it if she could. When the man lunged for her, she squeezed the trigger, two to the chest. The man who's knee had been collapsed managed to get to his feet, taking a swipe at her while she was distracted. It was his last mistake because she turned and put two bullets in him as well.

Frank heard the men cursing around him and he gave a small laugh, despite himself. People were always underestimating his girl. On the screen, he saw Karen process for a moment, his heart giving a lurch when he saw her cover her mouth and let out a sob. But then she was moving, grabbing her bag and a jacket and heading in the direction of the door, no doubt headed to the safe house, just as they planned for situations like this.

He forced his face into a smug mask, turning from the screen to meet the eyes of his captor. The man was seething, still staring at the screen where two of his men lay dead. When Marcetti did turn his eyes back to Frank he snapped his fingers at two men to his right, they instantly stepped forward, "Go find that bitch. Do what you have to, just get her here, alive." He waved them off sharply before kicking the small table and laptop out of the way to stand in front of Frank. It was just him and two other men in the room with Frank now.

Frank shook his head slowly, a corner of his mouth tipping up smugly, "You probably should have done more research on her. I mean, it's really never good to underestimate a woman, especially not one with such good aim." He forced his voice to stay even in the hopes it would further rile Marcetti. He was half sick with worry, at the very best Karen was going to be frantic when she couldn't get a hold of him, at worst she could be attacked again. So he needed his captor to make a mistake soon.

Thankfully it only took another minute. Marcetti stepped right in front of him bending to speak right into Frank's face. Perfect. Before he could get a word out Frank headbutted him as hard as he could in the face. Frank had taken a lot of blows to the head so he only saw stars for a split second, recovering much faster than his victim. Taking a page out of Karen's book he lashed out with a powerful kick to the man's knee, collapsing it backwards. There was a flurry of movement at that point, the two remaining men hurrying to pull their boss back out of reach. It was enough time to allow him to finish slipping the zip ties around his wrist completely off.

When one of the lackeys pulled back to punch him, Frank was ready, quickly breaking his arm and taking the firearm at his waist. The man was dead before he hit the ground, the second guard had barely gotten his hand to his waist before he was also felled by a headshot. Frank rolled his shoulders, ignoring the twinge in his side, checking the magazine in the stolen gun. Four bullets left.

Marcetti had started to crawl away but Frank kicked him over onto his back, promptly putting a bullet in the remaining good knee. He let him scream for a second before Frank put another in his right shoulder and another in his left shoulder. Stepping over the prone man, Frank leaned down, grabbing him roughly by the jaw, forcing him to stop screaming.

Frank let all of the pent up rage show on his face for the first time since he saw Karen disappear from the camera feed. His voice was deadly quiet when he started to speak, "You're lucky, that she got away," he shook the man's face as his weeping got louder, "Shut up. Like I was saying, you're lucky she got away because now I don't have time to make this as painful as I wanted. You really shouldn't have messed with my girl, asshole."

Frank stood to his full height, giving Marcetti a second to start begging before putting the last bullet in his head. The beast in Frank wanted to make him suffer. He could have spent hours dragging out the man's death for bringing Karen into it but he had to make sure she was okay. She was his priority now.

Grabbing the gun off of the second man he shot he held it at the ready as he moved through the building. Thankfully it was abandoned and he only had one more person to shoot before he was clear of the building and striding as quickly as he could towards a main road. He wasn't sure where he was so the likelihood of him being anywhere near where he left his van was slim to none.

Luckily his captors had not stolen the money in his pocket so he was able to hail a cab to get him within a couple of blocks of the designated safehouse. Thank God for NYC cabbies, there wasn't a word or even a backwards glance as Frank climbed in, beat to shit and covered mostly in his own blood.

He was planning as he stepped out of the cab, where to go next if he didn't find Karen in the safehouse? Maybe she would have gone to Murdock's place. If she hadn't, maybe Murdock could help him locate her faster. His busted rib was giving him hell for the pace he was setting but he needed to know she was safe.

It seemed like an eternity but Frank finally came to a halt in front of a rusted door at the back of an apparent abandoned warehouse. He had been watching his surroundings and didn't have a tail so he punched in the code to the door, sliding in quickly. Out of precaution he had a gun ready in his hand before calling out, "Karen? It's me."

For a moment he didn't hear anything and his heart began to sink in his chest. Then he heard the subtle click of a safety being clicked into place and she was rounding the corner that served as a makeshift kitchen. He was lightheaded with the relief that flooded him, she was here, she was safe.

Before he could process more she was right in front of him, her slender hands on either side of his jaw as she looked him up and down, "Frank what happened? Are you okay?" Her hands were roaming over him, searching for injury, "I tried calling you a dozen times and you didn't pick up, I didn't know where you were. These men...they.." She let out a hiccoughing sob that had him instantly pulling her to his chest, murmuring comforting words into her hair. She recovered quickly though, wiping the tears away harshly and pulling him towards the first aid kit.

"Are you okay, you're not hurt anywhere are you?" This time he was the one running hands over her, voice rough, eyes resting on the bruise that was blossoming on her cheek.

"No, no I'm fine." She rested her hand over his on her cheek before steering him to sit down. Frank closed his eyes as she ran a cool cloth over his face, wiping away the blood. Her voice was quiet as she worked. "How did you know I was here?"

His eyes opened quickly, rage and panic suddenly burning hotly through him again, remembering watching the men attack her, remembering his own helplessness to stop it. Without thinking Frank brought his hands up to cradle her face, to reassure himself that she was here, that he wouldn't wake up to find she had been taken from him too.

As if she could sense his rising panic, which she probably could, he could never hide anything from her, Karen wrapped her hands around his wrists and gave them a reassuring squeeze. She pressed a soft kiss into his palm before she continued to slowly wipe the blood from his face. She knew he would answer when he was ready.

Frank grounded himself by watching her eyes as she worked. Every once in a while her clear blue gaze would meet his and he would see them crinkle reassuringly at the edges before she focused on her task again.

Finally, when he felt most of the remaining adrenaline drain out of him, he spoke slowly, his voice full of gravel, "This last mission, I almost had them all wiped out but I missed something and they blindsided me. I woke up and they had me tied to a chair, giving me the usual bad guy speech, ya know?" She gave an amused huff but he saw the worry creep into her visage as she cleaned out a gash she found in his scalp.

"They pulled out a computer that had a live feed to a camera into your living room."

Karen froze, meeting his eyes quickly, "You saw them attack me." It wasn't a question, she was always one step ahead of him it seemed.

Frank gave a slow nod, feeling sick as he remembered watching the men advance on her. How she almost died because of him. Again. He attempted to shutter his expression, he needed to create distance between them, he had to push her away. He knew that this would happen and yet he kept selfishly pushing himself into her life. He was going to get her killed. He-

He let out a growling curse as Karen abruptly and none too gently pressed gauze covered in alcohol to the cut in his scalp. His gaze returned to hers sharply and she was waiting for it because her expression was defiant.

"I already know everything you are thinking Frank and we've been through all of it before. You're not pushing me away, I'm not going anywhere and so help me God if you even THINK about telling me 'I'm not safe' or 'I'm not good for you Karen' I will beat you within an inch of your life. Do you understand me Castle? Yes, people came after me. Yes, they did it to get to you. But they didn't get me, I got them."

Her voice was strong but he felt the small tremor in her fingers as she began applying the butterfly sutures to his head. Gently, he grabbed her hand, pulling it down to press a lingering kiss to her knuckles before he replied, "I know you can handle yourself, I've seen you do it more than once and I was damn proud of what you did today. But Karen," he leaned down to catch her eye again when she looked away, "You shouldn't have to. You're good. I'm tainting your life, forcing you to make decisions you shouldn't have to make."

She stared at him for a moment before slowly shaking her head, like she thought he was incredibly dense, before she stepped in to stand between his knees. Her hands came to rest on either side of his strong jaw as she tilted his head up to look at her. Slowly she lowered her head and gave him a soft lingering kiss, one that made his chest swell and his arms ache to wrap around her. A kiss that made him realize just how foolish it was of him to think he could walk away now, after she was so deeply a part of him.

After another slow press of her lips, this time to his forehead she spoke softly but with all the authority of the goddess she was, her words full of steel, "I would make that decision over and over again if it meant I got to keep you in my life. We're a unit now Frank. We deal with things together. I don't always agree with the wars you wage but I will always be there once you are done fighting them. I'm not going anywhere. I'll tell you as many times as you need to hear it."

Frank stared up at her, both wanting to take her to the bed in the back and show her with his hands and mouth how much he worships her and wanting to shake her until she sees sense and runs in the opposite direction as him. Though the latter would tear him to pieces.

He settled for a happy medium, once he was patched up, he had Micro set up focused surveillance on this safehouse and then called in a favor to have the two bodies removed from Karen's apartment as discreetly as possible before settling them both into bed and tucking her securely against his chest. She was out almost instantly, her fingers securely wrapped around his as she slept.

Frank was a monster, he killed people, deserving people, but it was killing nonetheless. He constantly made Karen worry and he most certainly didn't deserve her love. But as he watched her sleeping in his arms, her blatant trust and care for him evident in the way she gripped his hand, he realized he was also a man. A man that needed Karen Page as much as the Punisher needed his war. He pressed a kiss to the back of her head, drifting off as well. Maybe one day he will be strong enough to push Karen Page out of his life for her own protection...but he doubted it.

#kastle #frank castle x karen page #frank castle #karen page #bamf karen page #quarantine writing #oneshot #some violence

[mrsedmercer]

Steamy Love (A Tom Hiddleston x Reader) Chapter 22: ~Gossip~

Summary: Now that filming has officially wrapped, you and Tom can get to the interviews! Though your first one takes an odd turn. A turn you refuse to let end on a bad note.

Warnings: Trash talk towards a certain ex of Tom Hiddleston.

Read it on my Wattpad: Wattpad.com/HiddlesStar

Word count: 1412

Tags: @theoneanna @midnightdragonzero @drakesfiance @kcd15 @ihthr @deviantsendbyreallife @bookgirlunicorn @cherrygeek86

After a couple more days, your friend returned home. The first couple days without them here really reminded you of home, and how much you missed it. You could really feel the homesickness creeping in. You're sure Tom had noticed it too, but you two never talked about it. Y'all still have amazing sex, of course, and your doubts nearly melt away anytime he looks at you, or smiles, or laughs, or blinks...

You may be in love with him. You're still not exactly sure, but something's there. Something stronger than before.

A couple more weeks went by. Filming was completely done, though you and Tom were asked to stay in the area for another month, just in case you needed to do reshoots. Tom's hair had really grown by the end of the month. You knew he was keeping it long partially for Betrayal, the Harold Pinter play he is said to star in. His beard was more ginger than you thought it'd be, though he'd always remind you that he always had a lot of natural ginge in his hair as a teen. You were so used to him with brown hair. You liked the beard, though. His jaw looked hella nice with it. You've just been kinda stroking it when you lay together in bed, among other things on him.

You and Tom weren't entirely done with the film, though. Now were some of the fun parts of starring in a film.

The interviews!

You and Tom had one scheduled later for today. You've never been in an interview like this before, so you were a little nervous. Tom was calming you down and explaining how it works.

...I mean, you were laying in bed naked with him, so it was easy for him to calm you.

"I promise you, the interviewers I've had have always been very polite. They're very kind people." Tom reassured you, softly caressing your bare arm as he held you against his chest.

"I just hope I don't make a fool out of myself.." You admitted, nuzzling his chest some. "And I hope that I'm not ignored...but I also want some attention, y'know?.." You chuckled a bit. "Oh man, I really didn't think I'd get to this point..."

"What, the interview? Or laying here naked with me for the 20th day in a row?" Tom asked jokingly, making you chuckle again.

"The interview, smartass.." You nudged Tom, making him laugh a bit."I just hope I get it right."

"Well, there's no real way to get an interview 'wrong', unless you're just rude.." Tom replied. "Which I highly doubt you'd be."

"But what if I get a question wrong? Or can't answer a certain question because it might be spoilery?" You asked with a slight pout.

"Then I'll answer it for you." Tom smiled. "Interviews like the ones we're going to are pretty edited when they air. Any fumbles will surely be edited out. I promise you.."

You gave a little smile, giving him a soft peck on the lips. "Your voice is soothing to listen to.." You admitted. You genuinely felt better already, just because of his voice.

"Oh?.." He smiled at you, pecking the side of your head. "You like my voice?.." His tone changed, becoming slightly mischievous.

"Hey, relax, big dog.." You spoke up, turning your head to look at him with a smile. "I'm still sore from before.."

"It's getting harder everyday to resist.." Tom admitted with a smirk. "But you're right.."

You smiled, carefully moving away and getting out of bed.

"Maybe when we get back.." Tom added, getting out of bed to get dressed as well.

You just rolled your eyes playfully and laughed. You love that he's always wanting to be all over you. You hope he keeps the bedroom eyes to himself at the interview, though part of you wants to see it if he can't help it.

You guys got dressed and headed to the location where the interview would take place. Movie posters or anything haven't been publically released yet, so the only photos of you two on that back wall just a single still straight from the outside set.

You got to meet the interviewer after a short wait. It was a woman, which is pretty common, and she seemed super nice. She really got along with Tom, though everyone seems to get along with Tom. You could tell she was a little more focused than him rather than you, but you understood why. He was a much bigger celebrity than you were. You were fine if she chose to ask him most of the questions.

When the interview started, she introduced herself to you two, giving both of you a friendly handshake. Her name was Sarah. The chairs you got to sit in were a little small, but they weren't uncomfortable.

"Hi! It's very nice to meet you two!" She greeted you both with an on camera hand shake, giving a big smile. She had bright purple lipstick on that didn't really match the rest of her makeup, but you didn't judge. Maybe that's just a style or something.

The questions that were asked were, as expected, mostly directed at Tom. There were a couple questions you were both able to answer, though, like what to expect from the movie, what both of your favourite on set moment was, if there's gonna be any steamy bits. You happily answered that last one, remembering in the back of your head how odd the scene was to actually film.

Having actually slept with Tom beforehand, you could tell in the moment that his pants and moans were indeed an act, though you'd be lying if you didn't get a little heated during the whole thing. The crew just thought it was excellent acting, thankfully.

One of the last questions were about that iconic sudden kiss at the clothing shop a couple weeks back, when unbeknownst to anyone else, you had been in a bad argument with Tom beforehand, and that kiss was proof of your feelings for one another being real. Being genuine.

It seemed like a pretty harmless question, until...

"Do you feel like this new relationship will have consequences on future opportunities?" The interviewer asked Tom, who was a little confused by the question.

"What do you mean?" He asked curiously.

"Well, I mean, for example, if I may compare this to your previous relationship with famous singer Taylor Swift..." Sarah began. As she said that, you felt an anxious pit in your stomach. You felt a little sick. Really? Why mention her? Why now? This was going so well before this.

"...While she is not known for being in the acting biz, like the wonderful (Y/N) here, she was definitely more up on your level as a celebrity.."

You could see Tom was trying not to get upset by that, but you recognized that look in his eye. That look of disappointment.

You decided to take control of this interview for a change.

"Look, I don't know that chick personally, but when was the last time she wrote about something other than her ex's?" You asked, leaning forward some. "I mean, she has dozens of songs, right? Lotta albums sold? How many dead roses are in her closet by now?"

You could hear the few crew members in the back either hold back from laughing, or clearly break out in quiet chuckles amoungst each other.

"Am I wrong?" You looked around with a chuckle. "You wanna know what Tom doesn't have to worry about? Me throwing away his gifts and signs of affection for a new word document on my expensive laptop.."

You could tell the interviewer was rather shocked to hear that, though it was hard to tell if she was personally offended or impressed. Tom was clearly hiding a smile. He was definitely impressed, and was shifting around to stop himself from laughing. That meant a lot to him.

"That's a wrap!" Someone on set called, allowing the interviewer to give one final awkward goodbye before walking off with her paper. Tom looked at you, giving a slight chuckle.

"I really hope they leave that in.." He admitted, making you smile brightly.

You made sure to ask the right person for a copy of the full, unedited interview just before you and Tom would return home. You couldn't wait to tell the stream chat about this tomorrow.

#tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston #tom Hiddleston x Reader #tom Hiddleston x you #fanfiction #steamy love #wattpad

[digital-corruption]

Pieces of You Part 15

The next morning my alarm went off and I begrudgingly silenced it. More than usual at least. I dragged myself out of bed and to the kitchen, finding Jake had taken position at his laptop again.

“If I didn't know any better I'd say you never sleep, but I did catch you sleeping last night,” I teased him with a poke.

“I must've slipped up. That won't happen again,” he smiled.

“Aww, but you looked so cute when you were sleeping,” I hugged him from the side.

“Definitely not letting that happen again!” he insisted.

“Mmm, are you sure I can't call in sick today?” I pouted.

“Normal routine, MC, for both of us,” he reminded me.

“Ugh, leaving you for so long feels horrible. I’m going to miss you a ridiculous amount,” I admitted.

Jake glanced towards me sheepishly, “Me too.”

To be honest, I don’t know how I managed to get myself out of my apartment that day. I suppose the need to maintain appearances to disguise the fact that I was hiding Jake overpowered my selfish desire to stay. To make matters worse, there was the small issue of the blood stains in the front passenger seat of my car. It was decided that it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to be driving the car until it was cleaned... again. The last thing we needed was for some nosy individual to spot the stains and report it to the police. So I was back on public transport, which meant being away from Jake for longer.

The train ride to work felt longer than usual. It didn’t help that I couldn’t stop smiling. I tried to face the window to cover it, but you could still see my reflection. I tried to get it under control by the time I reached work, but it was no good. My co-workers kept commenting that something good must’ve happened over the weekend. My lunch break was my solace. I went to my usual spot in the park and saved a teddy bear meme with the text “Missing you". I wasn’t sure if Jake would even notice, but within minutes an image of two carebears hugging was added. And the stupid smile on my face was back.

On my walk back to work, that uneasy feeling returned. The feeling that made me want to look over my shoulder every step of the way. I kept telling myself that Jake’s paranoia was feeding my own. There was nothing to lead them to me, right? We were being so careful.

Back at work I buried myself to keep my mind off things, but as soon as I left, that feeling was back, even stronger. I started to get twitchy, which I had to consciously fight so no one would notice. However that just made me more twitchy.

MC: I can’t help, but feel something is wrong.

Jake: Trust your instincts. What are they telling you?

MC: That I'm being followed.

Jake: MC, don’t go home. Stay in pu

Jake is now offline.

My blood ran cold on the crowded train. I never felt so alone as I did then in a car full of strangers. Suddenly they were all potential threats. Some of them noticed my unease, which didn’t help. I could feel their eyes on me making me more uncomfortable. He told me not to go home, but that’s all I wanted to be right then. Where else do I go if not home? What happened to sticking to normalcy? My mind was full of such mixed emotions of Jake's sudden log off. Part of me was angry, part was scared, and part was in complete denial. Surely the internet just cut out, right? I kept checking my phone for Jake to log back on, but he didn’t.

The train came to a sudden halt. Staff over the loud speaker informed us that there would be a short delay. Usually that meant someone had jumped the tracks again, but this time I knew that wasn’t the case. I wanted out of the train so badly. I contemplated changing cars to a less crowded one, not knowing whether it would help or hurt my situation. Just as I decided to change cars, the train started to move again. I was so ready to vomit from the anxiety. An older woman asked me if I felt ok. The cold sweat was now noticeable. I gave her a weak nod and fake smile. She tried to reassure me that the train stopping was nothing to worry about. If she only knew.

By the time I reached my station, I still hadn’t made a decision. ‘I'll walk past home,’ I thought to myself. ‘I'll go to the supermarket past it.’ The idea of not being near home frightened me, but Jake’s words repeated endlessly in my head.

I should’ve listened to him. I should’ve stayed away. There were cop cars everywhere. I screamed to be let into my apartment.

“A dangerous individual has been spotted in the area, we can’t let you in the building at this time,” one cop told me.

A detective approached confidently, “You live in which apartment, miss?”

Fuck. Too late.

#duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood jake x player #Pieces of You

[sapphirescales]

LILY!!! do you have skincare tips? i've got oily skin and i'm looking for things i can do when my Depression makes it hard to maintain a routine :(

UMMMM well idk like,,, my skin isnt all that great either esp when The Stress hits but i’ll jot down some stuff tht i can think of, but i’ll preface it w my skin is combination skin -- i’ve got a rly oily t-zone and then the rest of my face (esp my cheeks) are a little dry so i guess my skin tends to be more oily than anything, and my skin is SUPER SENSITIVE, but anyway

for facewashes and face creams: use gel stuff instead of foam or cream stuff! i switched my foam cleanser for a gel cleanser, and my moisturiser cream for a moisturiser gel and it helped so much. gel stuff tends to be a lil bit more expensive but it’s worth it imho. also try and get stuff which are parabens-free, bc stuff w parabens in it usually makes my acne go Mad. some stuff i’ve used/stuff i know about: sugar’s cucumber face wash gel, clinelle’s hydracalm facewash gel & hydracalm moisturiser, st ives’ green tea cleanser, origins’ make a difference plus+ rejuvenating cream (a gel moisturiser & a lil high-end aka super pricet), the face shop’s jeju aloe gel (there’s a huge tub sold here for like rm22 something something and honestly aloe gel is so cooling and soothing). i’ve also heard some really great stuff about origins’ oil cleanser (and oil cleansers in general) but i haven’t used it personally.

get urself a good toner! again, try and stay away from parabens-containing products but investing in a good toner will help your products sink in better and also help with regards to oil control. i’m using origins’ mega-bright skin illuminating treatment lotion, from their dr andrew weil line, and idk of many toners that are parabens free, so if you know any feel free 2 add to the comments i guess

your diet tends to reflect on your face. i dont eat v healthy tbh but i find that if i take a lot of dairy products, my acne tends to get worse. try and see if there are similar food products for you -- i know my cousins have issues with lots of processed food. not to say Cut It Out Entirely but reducing/cutting back can really help. my skin is also v v oily if i don’t drink enough water and get in enough greens, so i try to do that as often as i can. keep some water next to where you’re working or using your laptop, use a cool mason jar or water bottle or sippy cup or WHATEVER tbh as long as it makes you actually drink water and keep yourself hydrated

use a nice scrub or an alternative to a scrub: i use st ives’ green tea scrub (which is also parabens free and v affordable imo) and i also bought a tiny lil silicone sponge from watson’s which is like rm22 or something? and i use that with my gel cleanser. but the goal is to really gently exfoliate your skin without irritating it or drying it out. bc the sponge is made of silicone, it lasts FOREVER as well and you’ll see a difference in the texture of your skin in no time. making sure less dead cells are on your skin also helps w my oil production idk why??? but it Does so sdlfkj

face care with make-up is so, so important. use a primer or a pore filler before you put on make-up -- not only will it help your make-up stay on for longer but it also stops make-up getting INTO your pores and making your skin situation worse. afterwards, i usually wipe off my make-up with a (i know u guys are sick of this by now) parabens-free or a really gentle make-up wipe (like one from simple), and then i go back in with micellar water or baby oil in order to really clear out my pores. i use a quick scrub, tone and moisturise. wearing make-up often makes my skin oilier sometimes bc my make-up (which is mattifying bc oily t-zone) dries my skin out and then makes it overproduce oil again later, so if i don’t gotta use make-up, i try not to / minimise how much make-up i use (e.g. just using it for under-eye concealing or concealing acne scars/major acne)

on that note, if you don’t gotta use a cleanser, don’t? like i know most ppl are gonna scream but honestly if you were just at home all day and didn’t go anywhere or do anything to your skin, just splash on some micellar water to clear off the products off your skin from the day before/last night and you’re going to be fine??? super easy, zero fuss.

also, if youre wearing make-up, and youve got oily skin/oily areas, youre gonna have to be a lil aware sometimes and like. dab at your face w a sponge or a tissue v gently to wipe off the oil. setting your face with a powder really helps, and you don’t ACTUALLY need to put the same amount of make-up and foundation over your whole face. so, for e.g., my nose doesn’t need as much coverage and its Super Oily, so i don’t apply as much product there compared to like my forehead or my cheeks (where my acne scarring is most prominent), which really helps. if you have a good foundation and powder that closely matches your skintone and your undertone, you can probably get away w this a lot easier. 

CHANGE YOUR MAKE-UP BRUSHES AND SPONGES OFTEN! like please. PLEASE. i know we all Love to build up and are Lazy As Hell but then maybe invest in some disposable sponges or something bc for the sake of hygiene. please.

USE SUNSCREEN. idc if youre lightskinned or darkskinned, USE SUNSCREEN. even if youre medium-dark skinned, youre not gonna be immune to skin cancer. harsh sunlight also makes your skintone uneven and usually makes my skin overproduce oil. i really like biore’s sunscream stuff bc it’s very light, there’s a non-scented option and it also doubles as a make-up base (they have a few so you gotta have a look through). 

FACE MASKS! i also struggle w The Depression and its really tough for me to maintain an immaculate skincare routine, so rather than investing in like 16 tubs of facemasks i have 1 tube of clay mask (mine is from origins bc i bought this a Long While Ago while i still had money, but any clay mask is good!) and then i bought a WHOLE BUNCH of sheet face masks from the face shop because ... you guessed it ... they’re parabens free! and super cheap! using a hot compress before the mask helps bc your pores open up! i usually make myself a nice mug of tea and switch my a/c on and then slap that facemask on and do some replies. but try and do a facemask at least once every two weeks. i use mine once a week to once every two weeks, depending on how bad my depression is. target the facemask you choose to the particular problems your skin has; mine are usually hydrating facemasks (bc hydration!!! and really hydrating your skin goes a LONG WAY wrt to oil control) but i also have a few firming and brightening ones bc my skin can feel a little dull sometimes. ALSO, clay masks get a Lot Of Shit so i’m gonna just tell you quickly -- YES, they do make your skin break out the first few times you use it, but over time, it will REALLY HELP trust me! your pores? minimised. your skin? clear and glowing. your oil? controlled. if your skin is super sensitive and does not react well to store-bought masks, feel free to make some of your own natural ones! i really love making a maduka honey mask -- if you add sugar to it, it becomes a mask that also doubles as a scrub. a natural yoghurt mask is also a BLESSING and adding some oats to it also makes it double as a scrub. you could use natural aloe or use tomatoes and throw some sugar in them. PLEASE DON’T USE COCONUT OIL AS A MASK IT WILL CLOG YOUR PORES!!! don’t use masks that hurt bc you peel them etc because i always find tht it makes my skin immediately produce way more oil than it needs to compensate or smth lmao so NO to charcoal masks and stuff like that.

try and use something different for day and night. super tough esp if youre (like me) super lazy to do shit but during the day, i usually use an aloe vera gel moisturiser and, at night, i use bio oil to hydrate, minimise pores and also help with acne scarring, and tea tree oil gel to target acne-prone areas on my face and help combat acne before it starts up. find something that works for you!!!

a lot of skincare is trial and error, trying to find what works for YOU personally might not be something that works for others; i rarely get cystic acne, for example, so my skincare routine doesn’t really target that and so some parts might not work as well for people who do have cystic acne (esp since i often hear that clay masks really fuck up ppl who have cystic acne which makes sense bc in the beginning clay masks make acne worse before it gets better). try some stuff out and see what works for you after a month or so of a trial period.

skincare takes time! i don’t mean in the obvious way like you need to take time out of your day to do stuff, but i mean, it takes TIME for the results to show. you’ll have to do stuff now bc it’ll pay off later. it’ll be rough when you’re trying new stuff in the beginning but it might work out for you over a longer period of time. don’t switch products and stuff TOO OFTEN bc it’ll screw up your skin more.

it’s okay if you miss things or don’t do your routine every single day or just Can’t. it’s okay. it’s just skin care, and skipping a day or two won’t really make A Huge Difference. you can continue tomorrow. 

i hope some of this helps? idk this is just what’s worked for me over the years but yeah. feel free 2 add comments as necessary. :*

#outofcharacter. #this is a Strange Question 2 ask me: the gal masquerading as a pepperoni pizza #but here we are i hope this helps u :* #Anonymous