#i had a thought and it wouldn't go away

[sunlightdances]

Stay (Dean Winchester x OFC)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Original Female Character Rating: PG-13 for swearing and mentions of sex. Summary: Dean and Avery have a two-night stand, and after that weekend, they go their separate ways. They never expected to see each other again, but the universe has other plans. A/N: Guys, where do I even begin? It’s been ages. I miss you. I see your messages, your likes, your reblogs. Thank you. Here’s this. I wrote a lot of it on my phone, so bear with me if there are typos.

It just goes like this, doesn't it?

One night where the both of them could let go of expectations, of being who the universe was making them be. One night.

But just like they knew they didn't have a choice but to be who the universe wanted them to be, they should have known the universe would pull the absolute worst April Fool's Day prank of all time.

They gape at each other, minds racing as images of tangled sheets, open mouths, and moonlit smiles come flooding back.

The task at hand doesn't let them linger too long.

She's firing with military precision, and he's right there with her, sweat dripping down his jaw as he reloads round after round, wondering if the universe put them both here to die together.

But then Sam shows up, like he always does. He saves them both, and the three of them save the day.

It takes longer for Dean to work up the courage to look her in her eyes. He feels-- he feels ashamed somehow, that he let her go that rainy Sunday morning.

There was never an argument or anything. They both just knew it was time. She had said she had to catch a flight and get back to work, and he lied and told her he had to do the same thing.

They had two nights of connection, of passion, but also of affection. He told her things he never told anyone. They spent a Saturday night fully clothed, eating take out straight from the containers in a hotel's king-sized bed. He felt comfortable with her like he hadn't felt with anyone in years.

And yeah, it sucked when she left. He sort of hoped there'd be a knock on the door saying she missed her flight, but he wasn't sad. They both knew what they were signing up for when they met at the bar that Friday night, eyes only for each other.

Still, he thinks he's remembered her kiss every day since.

He still thinks no one has ever touched him like she did.

So, yeah, he's a little angry and flustered when he sees her here, because she said she worked in marketing or some bullshit, and while he didn't expect her to be totally truthful with a stranger, this is a little too coincidental to be believed.

She bats his hands away when he offers to help her bandage a big scrape on her leg, and he tries not to make a face at the rejection. He's very aware of Sam watching him closely, but he has no idea what to say.

There's no point in lying about knowing her. He told Sam that he had spent a weekend with a woman the day he came home from his impromptu trip, but that it was nothing special, nothing but some no strings attached fun.

Turns out Dean might be the one who had a few strings.

.

Her face feels like it's on fire. Her game plan so far is just to refuse to speak to him, but that feels a bit stupid given the situation they just found themselves in.

Jesus Christ, but he couldn't have said he was Dean Winchester when they met? To be fair - she didn't give a lot of details about herself either. They didn't even really talk about work except when she said there was no way she could stretch her trip into one more day. She had to work.

(She lied about work just like he did, but that's neither here nor there)

She just never thought she'd still be thinking about him months later, much less seeing him in person. In the middle of a hunt.

She did have a real job. She wasn't lying about that. Her work for the FBI is very, very, VERY top secret. Fringe Division has been practically dead for years, but ever since the almost-apocalypse (she supposes she has Dean to thank for that, too), their work is more important than ever.

She was just supposed to be doing field work. Recon. She was never supposed to get involved, but here she is, trying to put a bandage on herself in the middle of the woods.

She can’t stop herself from watching his hands, remembering when they traced every inch of her skin and made her gasp and writhe and the way in the next breath they’d find a ticklish spot and make her laugh.

It’s just all so unbelievable.

Sam is the one to break the ice, which feels inevitable. “So. Anyone want to explain this?” He gestures between her and Dean.

Dean’s jaw clenches. For a moment she feels frustrated because why is he angry? They parted mutually. They both told lies and half truths and let themselves escape in high thread count sheets and each other.

She thrusts out her hand. The one not currently covered in blood. “Avery Harper.”

“Avery.” Sam repeats.

“Technically it’s Special Agent Avery Harper, but I won’t tell if you won’t.”

Dean chokes out a laugh, but it’s a little bitter. Avery’s smile doesn’t meet her eyes.

“I think we have a lot of catching up to do,” she suggests. “Food?”

She turns and heads toward her car before anyone says anything else. She hears a whispered argument, an exasperated sigh, and then finally the sound of footsteps on the crushed gravel. A hand grabs her elbow a moment later, then releases her like she’s on fire.

“We look like shit.” Dean’s voice is gruff. “Pizza at our place instead.”

The drive to their place is pleasant, at least. She struggles to keep up with Dean’s car, but she suspects he’s doing it on purpose so she lets him. He’s never truly out of her sight. She uses the time to try to work her way out of this, but decides there’s no point.

The only thing she needs to do is make them understand she’s not trying to take over their turf and that she has no interest in arresting them, and hope that they hear her out.

She follows along a long dirt driveway. The building looks rundown from the outside, but she trusts them. Trusts Dean.

Inside, she’s not ashamed of the way her mouth falls open as she takes in the gleaming tiles and smooth wood. The place is incredible.

“The inner sanctum?”

“Something like that.” Dean mutters, brushing past her. They both pause at the contact.

“I’m going to…. order pizza”. Sam says, quickly making himself scarce.

She and Dean stand there in the fading sunlight streaming in through a nearby window, and the light catches on his eyes. He’s hurt. She can see that, and she does feel guilty. Even though they were both doing the same thing, she’s realizing now that he probably would have loved to know he was completely understood.

That night, even though she didn’t know who he was, she felt a connection that was deeper than attraction. Now she knows why.

“I didn’t know who you were.” She says, hands tightening at her sides.

“How is that possible?”

“Not every agent is out to get you.”

He smirks. “Most of my interactions with the feds say the opposite.”

She exhales.

He rubs a hand over his face. The sound of his stubble scratching against weathered palms takes her back to a warm bed, a feeling of being so cocooned with someone else she couldn’t tell where he ended and she began.

“Is Avery even your real name?” He asks, voice rough.

“Yes.”

A beat. “Marketing?”

She can’t help but laugh. “I didn’t know what to say!”

“You could have bragged about having a badass job.”

She’s surprised, but tries not to show it. “So could you.”

He shrugs. “Wanted to… shed it.”

“Me too.” She admits softly.

This time when he meets her eyes, his are vulnerable, a dark green that leaves goosebumps on her arms. “I—“ he stops himself. She wishes he wouldn’t. He changes tactics. “Let me take a look at that arm.”

“It’s alright-“

“Ave. Let me.”

A shortened version of her name hits her right in the gut. It’s familiar, intimate in a way she hadn’t been expecting. “Okay.” She relents.

.

He can’t take his eyes off her.

He was angry for a minute, he felt off guard, off kilter, but now that she’s in front of him he can’t bring himself to hold a grudge. He’s just happy to see her.

The FBI.

What a fucking day.

She doesn’t tell him much about why she was hunting, how she knew about the fight he and Sam were in on, how she showed up right when they did and where any of her intel came from.

They’ve always known that someone somewhere in the feds had an inside track, and it always bothered him. But because it’s her, he can’t find it in himself to be angry.

He thinks of the way she didn’t hesitate, just set up shoulder to shoulder with him and aimed her weapon like she’d be damned if anyone or anything tried to get close to the Winchesters.

He’s pretty amazed by her, he’s got to admit. She’s everything he’s ever wanted wrapped up in the most beautiful package, and that’s what makes him pause. Because he’s never allowed to have good things for long.

In his bathroom he inspects her wounds, uses the excuse to crowd her a little bit, inhales the familiar scent of citrus and vanilla that follows her like a cloud.

If she notices she doesn’t say anything and he’s grateful.

Her hand fits just so in his.

“Thank you.” She says eventually.

“You don’t have to thank me.”

“Dean—“

He looks up, sees her eyes uncertain, a little wild.

She kisses him before he can take his next breath. It sends heat sizzling up his spine, electricity crackling in the space between them.

It’s exactly how he remembers it, and somehow more. More because they’re truly themselves now, no secrets between them.

His hands are in her hair. Hers are tight on his hips, digging in, a desperation in her touch that he's relieved to feel, proof that he isn't the only one feeling this way.

When the need for air is too much, they wrench apart, gasping. Her mouth goes to his neck, and his lips find her forehead, and he can't do this again. He can't pretend.

"Wait. Avery, wait."

Her eyes are unfocused when she looks at him. "Sorry--"

He shakes his head. "Don't be. I-- god, I wanted that. I just... it's too much. I can't."

"I've thought about this for months." She admits, and his eyes slide shut.

"Don't tell me that."

"It's the truth." When he opens his eyes again, her smile is sad, but there's a bit of hope there too, and it makes his heart pick up speed. "I didn't want to go, that morning. I wanted to give you my number, I wanted to see you again."

"I did too. I wanted you to come back."

"It feels cursed, Dean." She says quietly. "This-- this is all too much of a coincidence."

He nods. "I know. But-- is that so bad?" He leans close, lips at her temple. Can't stop touching her. "Can't we just give ourselves something to be happy about?"

"We do have a lot to fill each other in about." She agrees, words sounding more like a moan in the quiet room.

"Stay." His voice is hoarse. "Stay with me. We'll figure it all out after."

He's tired of denying himself things he wants, things that make him happy. And if all the decisions he's made over the last few months, every thought and every choice have lead him right back here to her, then who is he to question it?

She stays.

#dean winchester x ofc #dean winchester x oc #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfiction #dean winchester fanfiction #not my first original fic on this blog in like 3 years #god #i had a thought and it wouldn't go away

[gen-toon]

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc jax #jax #tadc ragatha #ragatha #bunnydoll #I need to pathetically explain myself here and say this was just one of those go to bed thoughts I've had for a while. #It was an idea for the sake of daydreaming and I never intended to ever draw it but then it happened and I got carried away. #I'd honestly call this a bit of a un-headcanon lmao #None of us know at this point so any one of them could be close or not close to losing it. #Saying that I feel Jax seems like one of the more stable of the group and out of the both of them Ragatha is closer to abstraction if at al #But it's interesting to think if he actually isn't to some degree and there's more behind that grin I can't lie #And I wouldn't portray abstraction like this either I'd go about it differently. again just one of those fleeting throw-away thoughts #It ends ambiguously but you can decide what you want. I know how it ends. #I just got really into portraying the mood or cinematics without any dialogue.

[scottishaccentsareawesome]

...Do we actually know for sure that Arthur can swim?

The one episode of "Merlin" where I remember seeing him in the lake, he'd been nearly drowned by an enchantress, but we've never really see him swim.

I bring this up because the common headcanon I've seen is that when Arthur "rises again", he'll come out of the lake where Merlin laid his body to rest (Viking funeral-style).

But just imagine...Old Merlin comes to the lakeside (again) one morning, and he sees Arthur in the middle of the lake.

But Arthur is flailing around because he can't swim.

So if there are any onlookers around, they just see this really old man furiously swimming out to the middle of a lake to save a Ren-Fair participant

#I just had this thought today and it wouldn't go away :P #merthur #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon

[andy-clutterbuck]

9x01 | A New Beginning

#let's play Clue i'll be the rope #Rick Grimes #* #rg #S9 #i hate this website that gifset i just tried to post wouldn't show on my dash.... #i had to test that this one would #ANYWAY #hmm #many thots....i mean thoughts #💕 Fuzzy Daddy 💕 #it's been 5 years and i #still want to rub his head like it's a crystal ball and i'm a cheap ass fortune teller at a county fair #BEAUTIFUL FLUFFY SANTA FACE #excuse me but The Nose™ #i love me a sweaty man #excuse me sir please put your forearms away thank you #im gonna go have a big glass of wine now

[gendercriticalthinking]

A Thought

If homophobia was eradicated, same-sex-attracted people would have happier, healthier, overall better lives. Any distress gay and bi people experience regarding their sexuality is only because they are targets of prejudice regarding it. Homosexuality is not innately hateful or harmful.

But even if transphobia was eradicated, trans-identified people would still experience distress. To identify as trans or non-binary inherently requires one to hate your body and, by extension, yourself. Trans identity hinges on self-hatred as well as (mental and/or physical) self-harm.

A Thought: Part 2

If sexism was eradicated, this would also benefit same-sex-attracted people as much of homophobia and heteronormativity, concepts that harm gay and bi people, are both based in misogynistic ideas.

But if sexism was eradicated, this would hinder trans-identified people. Our misogynistic concept of gender (or "gender stereotypes" if you prefer) is, """at best,""" a useful tool for trans-identified people to communicate their gender identity to others, or, at worst, a motivator and encourager for people to identify as trans. Either way sexism ends up being reinforced by trans identity because gender itself, a concept that harms women and girls, is based in misogynistic ideas.

#gender critical #misogyny #homophobia #i had the first thought a while ago #before peaking actually! i always thought it was odd that trans identity required that people hated themselves in some way #whereas being ssa was just about being ssa and the only reason you wouldn't enjoy being yourself is because of others' hatred of you #i suppose my noticing that the LGB and the T being different in that way meant i was already a too-far-gone terf or something but w/e #anyway i only just thought of the second part as i wrote this which was interesting to see more pieces click together #like i peaked a while ago and since then it's been very clear to me how intertwined trans ideology is with sexism of course #but to lay it out clearly that 'sexism going away which would be an objectively good thing for women and girls #would actually be a BAD thing for tip' is just very. hm! makes you think.

[da-proti-toku-grem]

how do you know the difference between a huge anxiety attack and a panic attack?

#i think i had a panic attack yesterday but idk...... #god it felt so awful and it went on for like 3 hours #but i also had like a hundred things going on so idk if it was like the accumulation of everything or if it was really a panic attack yk #i was at the fair with my family waiting for my best friend to arrive bc i was going to hang out with her #and yk it's a place full of people and we were standing right next to a huge speaker hearing a man talk #and also each place in the fair has different music playing super loud and you can hear all of them at the same time (+ the flashing lights #all that causes me anxiety every since i was little (even if i didn't know it was anxiety back then) #so i *knew* i was going to have the greatest time and i didn't really want to go there in the first place #but even with that i wasn't really haven't a bad time (yet) #we were just stading there and i was waiting for my friend to call me so we could go somewhere else #she called me to tell me she was coming and right when i hung up the phone i felt a really strong pang on my belly #and idk at first i thought it was period cramps but it was weird bc my period had actually stopped that same morning #also i had taken a painkiller right before going there bc all that i mentioned earlier also gives me migraines so there's that too #so yeah the pangs kept getting stronger and it hurt so fucking bad to the point my legs started trembeling #my vision blured and every sound around me seemed to almost fade away #there wasn't any place i could sit down so i gad to cling to my dad and he had to hold me so i didn't fall to the ground #i think i almost (?) fainted in his arms too #after a while the dizzines went away and my dad went to get me smth to drink and i mostly got my hearing and vision back to normal #all that was like 10 minutes max but then the pangs kept hitting every minute or so for the next 3 hours #we found a place to sit and find smth to eat but i couldn't eat anything without wanting to throw up #my legs wouldn't stop shaking like fucking crazy and i kept going from feeling like i was freezing to sweating from how hot i felt #idk i've had smth like this (w/o the pangs) happen to me before a bunch of times but never That strong and it usually lasted 5-10min max #we ended up having to go home and i had to take some more painkillers and my sleeping pills to be able to calm down a little #i'm pretty sure i fell asleep from exhaustion after everything and i'm still feeling a bit weird after almost 24 hours since it happened #anyways. the thing is idk if all that was caused bc of my anxiety #or if it was smth completely unrelated and i just had such a bad tummy ache that it made me feel bad enough to cause All That yknow #i think it felt pretty much like how i've heard people describe a panic attack but again i'm not sure #yeah......... #maca speaks

[laesas]

did you ever make a post about pete not liking tankhun ? i know you mentioned it a few times in your tags but i don't remember seeing a post. (i share your opin ions.)

I definitely toyed with the idea of meta or a gifset but I didn't ever make a full post! I love unrequited love and I ESPECIALLY love the extremely rare platonic version which Tankhun and Pete absolutely nail in my opinion!

There are loads of moments where Pete's smile drops around Tankhun very quickly, or he insults Tankhun behind his back. Instead of laughing things off like Arm and Pol, he almost has a wincing fear-response to Tankhun, which we don't really see at all from the other bodyguards.

I think that Tankhun likes to think of himself as being close friends with his bodyguards, and he does genuinely show a lot of open affection for Pete and eventually concern for his safety. But I think ultimately for Pete, Tankhun is just a part of Pete's job, and over time resentment has built up until he thinks of Tankhun as one of the *worst* parts of it. I definitely don't think he resents Tankhun enough to hurt or endanger him, but that's about as far as it goes, there's certainly very little love there.

Something about that dynamic is just particularly brilliant, especially when combined with Pete's eventual defection from Tankhun's side to Vegas'. He chooses a man who has beaten and tortured him over a man who showers him in affection and throws parties on his return.

I utterly adore Tankhun but I think as a character that's grown up in a gilded cage, he doesn't really understand that what Pete needs is a sense of his own autonomy rather than being dragged to "fun" "lets cheer up Pete" parties that Tankhun has demanded on his behalf. At least with Vegas he *chose* to go back, he handed Vegas the ropes, let him lock him back up again. Even before he develops feelings for Vegas, Pete has clearly felt like a subhuman pet for Tankhun and the main family for a long, long time and I think ironically Vegas acknowledging Pete's humanity is the tipping point for him.

I think even without their nascent romantic love as a factor, Pete would always choose Vegas. Because despite the threat of suffering, he offers a sense of freedom that Tankhun's gilded cage does not. It all makes for an incredibly interesting betrayal, and makes Pete choosing Vegas over Tankhun all the more pointed. By choosing to be Vegas' pet, he chooses to be human.

#I have had this gifset concept rattling round my brain since before I even learned to make gifs #if I didn't have so many complicated feelings about Pete after the whole Build situation I'd make it in a heartbeat tbh #my worry is that it would either be taken as a ''hating on Pete'' set and I'd get mad shit for it in my inbox #(despite it being one of my fave facets of his character) #or it would be interpreted as a ''Build's acting appreciation!'' post which tbf it kinda would be. #theres no getting away from the fact that he shaped Pete into a very interesting and nuanced character #but you wouldn't catch me dead making a ''Captain Jack Sparrow appreciation'' set even if I loved POTC as much as KPTS yknow? #like theres only so much distance I can split the character from the actor. which sucks bc Pete as a character was one of my favourites #idk. probably not the ideal answer lol #my first instict was to just make the set since it was all planned out from like december #but since January my love for Pete as a character has mostly been in a little box on a high shelf that I do not ever touch. which is sad #but it is what it is ig #anyway lol 👀 #tankhun theerapanyakul #pete kp #tankhun kp #kp meta #ask #anon #watch me deliberately not putting that shit in the pete tag out of fear #anyway back on the high shelf you go little pete feelings. lets go back to simply not acknowledging u once more lol 🥲✨ #goddamn I deliberately hadnt thought about him in months but now I kinda miss Pete... :( I love this ask though thank u for sending it! 🦔✨ #damn rereading this its like girl. do you have an unrequited love for commas?? fucking use them?? :) anywaY #kpts

[found--family]

they couldn't let cesar and jesse return bc they would've taken one look at dean and cas interacting and known they had it bad for each other

#and sam is just like. oblivious. bc i think that's funnier 😂 #meanwhile dean and cas are pining away for each other like the beautiful dumbasses they are.. #cesar says to cas all easy and patient and knowing: so how long have you been in love with dean? #and cas is surprised and scared and tries to deny it but overcompensates by saying he loves all of humanity #meanwhile jesse is talking to dean like: what do you mean you're not in love with him dude i have eyes. dean: ??!! #cas @ cesar: i love dean bc i love humanity i love them for all their faults and quirks and beauty.. *thinking about freckles + bowlegs* #dean @ jesse: you don't know what you're talkin bout man! jesse: oh so now you're going to get angry and defensive like that isn't #overcompensating and an obvious tell that i speak the truth. dean: yo-.. shutup!! #cas @ cesar: .. humanity really is quite remarkable and so worthy of love when you think about it. and affection. and praise.. #dean @ jesse: --swayze always gets a pass!! jesse: oh so he's on your celebrity exception list? dean: yeh man of course he is. #jesse: mhm. even though he's a guy? dean: ... who HASN'T had gay thoughts!?! #cas @ cesar: humanity should really eat more vegetables and drink less alcohol and sleep more. but this life can be difficult #and habits are hard to change and i will be there to help in any way i can like making coffee just the way humanity secretly likes it.. #dean: *frazzled and exhausted as jesse hands him a beer* --i prefer the classics: Say Anything. When Harry Met Sally. Princess Bride.. #jesse: *nodding along as they chat about chick fliks* cas @ cesar: i help with humanity's laundry. i once found a pair of jeans #in humanity's room with the legs torn off. i thought something awful had happened during a hunt but humanity wouldn't be able to #regrow his legs without my angelic assistance.. unless humanity met another angel.. *white knuckles the chair in possessive jealousy* #dean: *getting teary as he talks about dory's story* sam: *walking in on cas cracking the chair + dean sobbing into his beer #but taking no notice bc his eyes are on the ipad in his hands* so get this-- #destiel #crack #thoughts #😂😂😂😂😂

[wat-zu]

Absolutely love your art. I want to nom it.

Also, Hollow Heads Siblings my beloveds,,,

Theyre the doomed siblings ever its not even funny

#Oouugh i have thoughts abt the hollowhead siblings. How theyre so intricately tied to eachother since their birth but they'd be #Eachother'd downfall. Esp when it's Dark and his relationship with the others #Dark would never understand what chosen went through. Mainly bc i think chosen is used to fighting his internal battles on his own #While he was in captive as an ad blocker. He loves Dark. He's grateful for Dark bc without him he wouldn't be free #But Dark isnt exactly someone reliable enough for Chosen to get the necessary healing he wants and needs #But that won't stop Dark from trying to fix him. Creates the virus for revenge. As chosen watches his brother spiral and spiral #As he watches him drift further away. Unable to get him back without a shouting match. As he watches with his heart heavy and cracked at- #Their stiffed interactions and strained relationship. He can't remember a time where they shared geniune laughs. #Then tsc coming came and changed everything. #Because this is someone who went through Chosen's pain albeit a lil differently. Someone who knows. Someone who /understands/. And this- #Someone is so much more younger than them and had to go through that pain in such a short amount of time since their birth #He sees himself in them. And he's rather walk up to alan demanding to get his hands cuffed than let tsc fester in that pain. #So tsc became chosen's priority. Healed eachother in many ways than one and are at echother's beck and call if need be. #As for Dark. I think he'd manipulate tsc into using him for his revenge. After stalking out his code and finding out about his potential #And TSC cant help but fall for his manipulations. Since this person is very very important to Chosen and they want so badly to impress- #Them both. They agreed and overtime grew to love eachother. And overtime Dark shifted his goals just a tad bit. Getting TSC more and more- #Involved. Since hey if Chosen doesn't like touching alan with a 10 ft pole why not let this kid do. And TCS agrees to this thinking that- #This is it. This is can finally heal them completely. Finally out of sight and out of mind. Finally can't live without the pain lingering #And chosen watches them with a sense of deja vu. At loss at what to do and so so afraid to lose two of his lil siblings #Then shit hits the brick UBSJDBSJSN #They make me so ill im not even kidding when i said theyre so so very very doomed!!!!!!!!! #This is abt the au btw BAHHAHAHABHA

[akagamiko]

here's my hot take as a shanks appreciator & a buggy stan: bro buggy's the one who left shanks! 😭

#shanks standing in the rain after getting totally abandoned by the very last person that he had left #and that's AFTER buggy screamed at him about being a coward!! and then ran off yelling about how he never forgave him #like this was a totally messy scenario and buggy was clearly SO hurt by shanks not wanting to go to laugh tale right away #but he literally said 'i've changed my mind FOR NOW' #everyone making 15 y/o shanks out to be a jerk/EVIL over it #they were literal children but bugs idolized shanks SO much that he really thought shanks was gonna be king of the pirates in like a WEEK #have always felt like shanks is very in touch with his humanity and all these aspects of being human #but especially with the celestial dragon possibilities i feel like shanks wouldn't like that buggy put him on a pedestal because he's alway #seen he and buggy as being equals & wouldn't like being above everyone else #tl;dr: poppy is sad about shanks & the shuggy break up again :( #i know buggy is everyone's baby girl now (valid) but they were both victims in the break up scene okay!!! #buggy's hurt was valid but he overreacted a bit lbr and shanks didn't betray buggy by not wanting to go get the one piece immediately!!! #ANWYAY....i'm normal thanks :) esp after chapter 1082

[snapbackslide]

WHAT HAPPENED OMG how was it!!

it was a really good date, we spent 4 hours (!!!!) together just like, walking downtown and we got drinks which he paid for mine, said it was his bday gift for me 🥲 and talked a lot about everything, hockey especially, families, education/career, news, memes, travel, music...

i think he picked up on my hints, when we were walking i kept bumping lightly into him on purpose, and i'd tuck my hair behind my ear and lick my lips lmao. and i let him have a sip of my drink. cause i wanted him to kiss me, and he did, but i got so nervous and messed it up and pulled away 😭 (i buried my face in his chest and held him and i think he chuckled.. he could tell.. then he kissed the top of my head and i died 🪦 i texted him after saying sorry for the bad kiss LOL and he said 'don't apologize i thought the goodbye was very cute' .. omg)

it's just i never liked kissing but i wanted it with him, and he was good his lips were soft gosh, the second it was over i wanted it back.. this is crazy i miss him already 😭

#it was so hard for me not to dive right in i think maybe that's why i panicked #i'm just so passionate and i was holding back all night and he was so chill and calm... kinda drove me insane 😭 #i was having a hard time taking initiative.. like the bumping into him thing was me FIGHTING the urge to hold his arm #he didn’t seem like a super touchy guy idk if it was bc we had just met or that’s how he is but that was a little disappointing tbh #and a WASTE bc gosh he’s so comfy to hug. i had to physically force myself to pull away. i'm not joking #bc in our hugs i could feel him letting go & i didn’t wanna make him uncomfortable #but ugh our height difference & age gap are both literally -perfect- #he got a really cute laugh (and a deeper voice than i thought 😩) #oh yeah and he just ever so casually mentioned he was an argentina fan and i went full fangirl mode????? #oh. and he said he's a mama's boy... (& he likes the oilers.. & his fav movie is interstellar... *quiet voice* “tyson?” LMAOihaveatype) #yea and he said to let him know when i got home and when i forgot (bc i always do) he texted me 🥹 #he mentioned having been in a LDR before and how he didn't mind it... seems like only one of us was good at picking up hints 💀 #he asked if i'd ever been in one and i didn't realize until later like. oh. HEY maybe i should've said i wouldn't mind it either 🤦‍♀️ #ngl there were moments that were a bit awkward tho bc we were both quiet.. but he was so so sweet #like when i said i should go home he was completely understanding and would often ask if i was cold #just a very Gentle man like.. i felt so safe and comfortable 🥹 #and i really loved looking up at him and into his eyes it was the best lil moments... #like when i said i hope this wasn't too boring for you and he immediately reassured me and said he's having a great time #and asked if i was having a good time too and our voices got softer and that eye contact was just.. ugh ✨ #he really talks like a hockey player tho lmaooo 😭 #so yeah i've been up for HOURS replaying all this in my mind i barely slept... i really just wanna see him again asap #answered #brunch anecdotes w the girlies

[genspiel]

.....................well now i'm just thinking about how echo and noise could've provided a really interesting exploration of mental illness and trauma and stigmatization but canon kinda missed the mark on that one huh

#pandora hearts spoilers #tre reads #pandora hearts #echo #noise #i'm currently not coherent(?) enough to type out Actual Thoughts about this at the moment but i do think it's worth keeping in mind........ #something something noise being isolated as “different” and desperately clinging to the one person who kind of understood #but then being used by that person and still losing herself anyways and. and. and #hell even vincent's shit didn't get fully unpacked in ph #dude 1000000% had ptsd. you literally cannot convince me otherwise lmao #but his “redemption”(???) happened so fast you could blink and miss it #can't even call it an “arc” lmao it's more like an immediate 180 degree turn #like no dude go back and unpack that shit. your flashbacks and scissorly compulsions aren't gonna magically go away just because- #-some pretty girl forgave you lmao. that's not how this works |D #(also we need justice for ada btw?? she deserved so much more than just being oz's cute little sister and vincent's target-turned-salvation #(like. why is her only genuine hobby shown from vincent's pov and turned into comic relief. like literally wtf) #i actually feel really bad for noise. like. can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that you wouldn't have turned out like her- #-if you were in her situation #i never really liked her but i also don't think she's an inherently bad character or anything #(or at the very least she's really no worse than vincent. and god only knows how many people are lining up to forgive HIM) #she's just a very very traumatized and lonely one who never got a chance to heal until right before she LITERALLY FUCKING DIED #she and vincent both make sooooo much more sense as characters once you've learned their backstories #i just wish we could've seen more of the actual healing process for both of them instead of just. glossing over it. god fucking damn it

[sovonight]

guilty as charged

#im not gonna be able to explain why this happened organically in the span of 3 hours but au where gorion managed to #get baby radri shelter in evereska so she grew up there and met xan and went through a friends to lovers thing but his intense self doubt #led to him pushing her away so harshly that she didn't seek him out again except for later on the eve of his acceptance of the moonblade #bc there was a chance he wouldn't survive and she still cared about him deep down & couldn't just let it go without seeing him 1 more time #and xan had thought he'd completely burned that bridge with her and was relieved to see her and still loves her but she doesn't stay #and he never sees her during their shared time in evereska again #fast forward to decades later when radri's started on her journey and stumbles upon a certain captive in the nashkel mines #radri's so over it by now she frees & ignores him but xan's like WAIT let me offer you my services as a wizard!! and she's like 😒 #but there's room in the party and more spells would be useful so she takes him along. and thus begins xan's mission to protect her bc he #owes her that much and maybe he still desperately loves her and radri's mission to completely get over xan #so yeah i made uh *counts pages* 7 comic pages of script/doodles for the progression through these events #instead of spending that time drawing something that i could actually post OTL

[saltytyrus]

I wish we could mute our stomachs 🫠

#my instructor had us take vitals on each other for our skill check off #anddd it was the end of the day / i was hungry soooo i knew it was inevitable but was hoping it fucking wouldn't 😭😂 #but it did #they're listening for my diastolic and systolic in dead silence and my stomach lets out the loudest and longest growl 😭😭 #and i apologize and seemingly right away they both pull away with a wow but not bec of what i thought #apparently right at that moment they stopped hearing my blood pressure or whatever and they freaked out a little bec it was so high 😂 #the teacher made her take it again to see if it would be lower #and 'you're too young for it to be that high / relax' #I'm 99% sure that it was that high due to the fear of my stomach growling (then it fucking did at the worst moment) and #i still had to go next and im pretty sure my classmate didnt exactly like me??? #and even her friend didn't want to be her partner for it bec i guess she gets mad bec of how painful it can get 😭😂 #i just wanted to leave as soon as possible so i volunteered to go next with her #my teacher took pity though even though my diastolic reading was 10 points off what she got #one and done #anyways stomach growling is the highest level of betrayal 99% of my anxiety and 98% why i dropped out istg #its been a day and im still haunted by it

[thediktatortot]

Prompt based off a friend's parents actions towards my friend, for Steve:

Post Vecna, Steve's father is upset that Steve has gone no where and refuses to work with him at the company. Steve's mother feels that Steve has wasted the opportunities and easy life they have given Steve.

Both Steve's parents decide to hand him a legally written document that states Steve either leaves the house permanently with no help from them what so ever from here on, or he has to pay back 20k to his parents for the trouble he's caused them.

#This really happened to a friend of mine #She was from a middleclass family that was one of those 'we are better than you' types #She wasn't a bad person she just wasn't really parented by her parents at all #and was handed money as a way to get her to go away #she studied hard and is really smart but her parents gave her an ultimatum at like 19-20 while she was going to school #using the money from grants and scholarships she had earned #and they said they 'wouldn't be supporting her anymore if she wasn't going to work harder for them' #she left lol #Steve harrington #I felt like this would be a good little thought bubble for steve to noodle on

[nexus-nebulae]

so like. lately I've been feeling like there's some kind of Thing living in this house with me, like a spirit or creature or something, and i feel like it's been here a long time bc of how long things have been going missing in this house with no explanation. and i noticed when i got really badly sick i lost something and it made me like. sob uncontrollably bc it was important. and then i started Finding things in odd places. so i started thanking the mysterious entity. and now I'm finding More Stuff more often. and like i feel strange for believing in this entity bc I've always been told believing in pagan things is childish (??????) and feel awkward thanking it but also i Want To bc it's polite. anyway i wanna like. leave a little offering or something but don't know what would be appropriate bc i also dont know what entity this is

#first thought is like. house fairies #I've always thought it was something fae related i think? #but like i. don't really know a lot about real fairy folklore bc of all the Media I've consumed #i don't really know what's accurate and what isn't #like sometimes fairies are depicted as extremely powerful and like. human sized #sometimes they're just tiny little trickster guys #and also i don't know what folklore like. applies to me if that makes sense????? #im White™ and whatever culture my ancestors had was scrubbed away to force jesus in instead and i don't know how much my blood matters #I'm mostly german and welsh and was raised like. loosely catholic #and the word appropriation has been watered down so much by The Internet that i can never tell if I'm Doing That anymore #I'm just scared to do literally anything bc what if someone says i am #but also i feel very very drawn to certain myths and stories and entities and feel like letting that go would tear me apart in a way #like I'd just lose something and there'd be a hole that couldn't be filled by any other belief #I've TRIED to fit in other beliefs but they just don't click #i dunno. im scared of doing something wrong but it feels like home to me #anyway i want to leave an offering to this Entity in my house to thank it for returning some things #but dunno what i could use #do you think a fairy would appreciate lactose free vanilla coffee creamer. we dont have normal milk #i also wonder if candy would work. i have a ton of chocolate and caramel #though i also wonder if the Entity is stealing candy from the jars on my windowsill #i wouldn't mind that i don't mind sharing