#i get it. but genuinely you are not the main character and no one is going to spend their limited time and energy to slowly attack you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

schattenhonig · 2 days

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The A in LGBTQIA+ doesn't stand for aspec because they're not repressed!

(please read the disclaimer at the end of this post)

Ummm, excuse me? Would you mind telling me what your definition of repression is, then?

Because I feel repressed when a doctor asks me about my sex life, and if I say I have none, it gets marked down as a symptom without being asked if I suffer from it.

I feel repressed when my gyn tells me I can't get a hysterectomy yet despite losing so much blood on every period that I need to take iron supplements all the time, because I could change my mind about not wanting children (which is a whole other post, I know, but it's most likely linked to sex).

I feel repressed if I can't use dating apps or platforms because my sexuality doesn't even exist there, and the one time I tried, I got called names because I didn't want to meet for because it was clear where this date would go, despite my explicit "what I'm looking for".

I feel repressed when I think about how recently a paragraph was finally abolished in my country that considered sex a vital part of a marriage, basically entitling the spouses to having sex with their partner (both gender neutral, because entitling people to having sex with somebody else by law is wrong. It's basically a rape permission).

I feel repressed when I can't watch any film or show without it being about love and/or sex, no matter if it fits the narrative and furthers the plot.

I feel repressed when I plot my own stories and automatically put a romantic couple in there as main characters, even though I have no idea why this would be important for the plot. Not even my own stories, my own thoughts are mine.

I felt repressed when I was asked accusingly in a relationship if I wasn't missing something before I even knew asexuality as a spectrum was a thing, and having to lie about this being a side effect of my medication instead of genuinely not feeling attracted to someone in this way.

I feel repressed when I can't tell people I'm not sexually attracted to them because they will take this personally no matter how well I explain myself.

I feel repressed when everywhere I look there's advertising relying on naked skin, suggestive posing and objectification. Why are expensive cars still presented by women considered beautiful and tempting? It's not like that's necessary to convince people of spending so much money on a thing that gets you from A to B. Couches with women in smart dresses and high heels. That's not what a normal person looks like on a couch. But the worst is a truck in the town where I live: it's from a small fruit and vegetable stand, so whenever I see it, it comes from the warehouse, delivering groceries. On it is a woman clad in very little, presenting fruit. I'm sorry, but why? Does a misogynistic picture convince you of the necessity to avoid scurvy?

I feel repressed when I tell people and get the answer "you just haven't found the right person yet", because there are two possible assumptions from that point: I'm either not trying hard enough (so it's basically my own fault) or something about me is not right, appalling even (which circles back to I'm not trying hard enough or frames me as a victim of my genetics, upbringing or circumstances to be pitied).

Do not tell me how I feel. Do not try to tell me everything is fine and I shouldn't complain or ask for acknowledgement if everywhere I look, I'm reminded of how odd, how weird and how not normal I am. How much it inconveniences you to even acknowledge my existence, let alone respect any of my traits, views and choices.

And while I can only write from my own asexual point of view, I wrote this with all kinds of flavours of aspec in mind, so I'm explicitly including aromantics, aroace people and every shade of the spectrum in this. Not all my examples may apply to you, but I hope you can find something to relate to.

#asexuality #somewhat of a vent #asexual #ace pride #ace #acespec #aromantic #aroace #read disclaimer at the end of post #aspec

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letters-to-lgbt-kids · 3 days

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My dear lgbt+ kids,

I have always admired people who have their one thing. People who care deeply about one highly specific cause, people who have deep knowledge about their one niche interest, people who are really into one particular movie…

I just think it’s neat! It’s really interesting to hear people talk about their one thing. There’s also so much comfort in the fact that people can find so much happiness and meaning and purpose in something seemingly random!

Last but not least, it’s also often the people with their one thing who (pardon my language) get shit done. Someone who puts their whole heart into doing their one small thing passionately likely does much more good for the world than someone who tries to constantly give their attention to every single problem everywhere all the time simultaneously. The first one can keep their energy and love for the cause high, the latter probably just ends up burning themselves out.

… and yet, with all this genuine admiration for people like that: I often judge myself for being a person like that.

If you wonder what my one thing is, well, you’re looking at it! It’s writing about mental health and wellbeing in the lgbt+ community. I write this blog. I write books with main characters who are lgbt+ and mentally ill or neurodivergent. I do a lot of research on that topic to base my writing on ,and also just for fun. Even with the music or movies or books I enjoy, I seek out that topic or at least I’ll analyze it with that lens… So, according to my very own thoughts I stated above, I should feel like the coolest guy ever!

But I don’t. I feel embarrassed when people ask about my interests or hobbies. I feel guilty for it not being something you can „turn into a career“. I feel like I’m boring for writing 3 books about the same topic. I feel like I’m stupid for not having multiple passions. I feel like I need to prove my masculinity by having more „male interests“... long story short, I’m being a big old bully to myself about it.

You may be a „my one thing“ person as well or maybe you’re someone with many different interests, or maybe you are someone who has one thing but the thing changes every few weeks. No matter where you stand, we probably have this in common: we can be really mean towards ourselves over things we wouldn’t judge others for. This may be so common because it’s pretty easy to have a distorted perception of ourselves (after all, we notice every single little thing we think or do or say, while in others we see the bigger picture) or because so many grow up internalizing negative messages about ourselves(but not about others).

We set impossibly high standards for ourselves that we would never impose on our loved ones - but we should also be our own loved one. After all, you’ll be the person you spend the most time with during your life. Much better for your closest companion to be a friend than a foe.

So, in this spirit, I’ll try to lead by example: I have my one thing, and that’s super cool of me!! What’s cool about you?

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

#lgbt #lgbt+

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buckttommy · 3 days

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Queerbaiting: using the promise of Queer fan-pairings or Queer characters to lure in a Queer audience without any intention to follow through for the sake of financial gain.

(Relation)ship-baiting: teasing a fan-favorite pairing, Queer or not, to an invested audience without any intention to develop that relationship into romance.

A show/movie/studio can Queerbait without Ship-baiting.

A show/movie/studio can Ship-bait without Queerbaiting.

Learning the distinction between the two is important because—similar to people who use the word "problematic" to describe both Pedophilia and not tipping waiters—no one will take you serious if you don't. You cannot reasonably accuse a show of Queerbaiting when they already have multiple Queer main characters because they are not "teasing" you with Queer representation. They have already followed through on delivering Queer representation because to do so was their intention all along. But you can accuse a show/movie/studio of Ship-baiting when they dangle the promise of a canon relationship in front of you like a carrot on a stick, and subsequently do not deliver.

Both are bad, but different "levels" of bad correlate with different responses, hence why some people get a ticket for jaywalking and some people go to jail for murder.

It's the same principle.

Queerbaiting is cruel and manipulative, designed to target a vulnerable, marginalized audience, and has real-world implications surrounding the refusal to make Queerness visible at the very least, and accepted at the very most. Queerbaiting should be responded to with targeted, intentional fury—not through death threats, but by making it abundantly clear to The Powers That Be (and all those watching)—that toying with Queer audiences is not acceptable.

Ship-baiting is also cruel, but in a different way. Ship-baiting targets a specific group of people (both Queer and Heterosexual, as fandom has always been filled with Straight people too) and does not have any real-world implications beyond ruining your day/week/year. Anger is an acceptable reaction here, but expressing dismay—again, not through death threats—is not the same as accusing an entity/showrunner/etc of an ethical crime.

Please learn the difference.

Fandom (as a collective) has a lot of inherent problems—including but not limited to Racism, Queerphobia, Xenophobia, and more—but I genuinely believe some of the most intelligent, creative, talented, and revolutionary minds that could change the entire face of the Entertainment industry exist here. We deserve to demand respect, and we deserve to be taken seriously, because the more we sound like "unhinged fangirls" when things don't go our way, for whatever reason, the more The Powers That Be are going to treat us like we don't matter. The commodification of fandom was a huge mistake. We were brought into a spotlight that we were never intended to be in, and I don't think we've ever recovered from that. I'm not even sure most people realize this is something we need to recover from. But we can shift the tide in our favor, and that starts by learning the definitions of words and actually using them so that no one—especially not old, white men with power—has an excuse to brush off valid, Ethical concerns as "fandom drama."

#This post is NOT inspired by Buddie karaoke BTW #I've been sitting on this for a while trying to articulate what I want to say #but it IS inspired by men like Tim Minear being condescending assholes. I am tired of that #Feel free to screenshot this post and share it #it's for all of us anyway #jack.txt

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waspredteeth · 2 days

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Things I hate/dislike about Fanon-Damian Wayne

AKA me just bitching about the various icks of Damian portrayals in fanon that range from weirdly racist things to a blatant misunderstanding of the core character.

Whitewashing - not only in art, but in descriptions; making Damian pale or white, an "exact copy of Bruce" and having blue eyes. He'll share features with Bruce of course, but it's rare I see anyone describe him with traits from Talia or Ras or Melisande. Y'know he's still half Arab/Chinese despite Bruce being white. He should have, at the very least, a shade of brown skin and non-blue eyes.

Describing Damian like an animal (hissing, biting, clawing), calling him feral or rabid - I already have a post about how its pretty racist to constantly describe a poc character like this, so I won't go any further here. Also, rabid, really? Anyone who calls Damian that will die by my hand because it's so genuinely ignorant that I just can't excuse it.

Overuse of terms like "Blood Son", gremlin, "Demon Spawn", "Satan" - these spawned completely in fandom and its gotten to the point that I will immediately click off something if its included. Just stop using these as shorthand to describe him or joke about him. Come up with something else, or maybe just don't include Damian in a fic if he's only there to get made fun of.

Connected to the "Blood Son" term, making Damian obsessed with his biological status as Bruce's child and making him demean his adopted siblings/other adopted characters - he's only had a couple instances of this in canon comics. Once, in his introduction in the fight with Tim written by Grant Morrison when his character was still being fleshed out. Again, in a fight with Tim in Red Robin when Damian is mostly being written as an antagonist and not a character of his own. It frustrates me to no end when this is brought up because Damian's status with being Bruce's son has nothing to do with biological connection or genetics. It has everything to do with just being a son of a father that doesn't put any effort to knowing you and seeing him have deep connections to other kids that you have been raised to see as competition, not family.

Constantly having him carry around a sword/katana - this does happen in some comics, but its really not the main weapon he uses as Robin. A good majority of his time as Robin he just used the standard stuff (batarangs, grapple etc). The really aggravating part is when fics insinuate that he'd carry one around in public or in school.

Making Bruce's half of the family his good white saviors, while also making the al Ghuls evil abusers - if you demonize Talia and then prop up Bruce as a good dad who's done nothing wrong to Damian then I'm going to assume that you don't read comics and you don't have a good understanding of Damian's relationship with his parents. If you make Dick or Jason the good protective big brothers while putting down Talia or Ras or Mara, again, I'm going to assume the worst. Dick did not like Damian when they first met. Tim spent most of their time together as Red Robin/Robin hating him. Jason shot Damian point blank in the chest the first meeting they had, and then continued to threaten his life. Damian has never had a great relationship with anyone in the batfamily when he first appeared. Yes, not even Stephanie or Cassandra or Duke. With everyone, it took time for him to be tolerated much less liked or understood. Making them the ones who understood him and babied him from the start ruins his character development and his relationships with them. Only if you're writing an au where Damian is raised by Bruce, then it's excusable but still not the least bit right when handling the al Ghuls.

Making Damian ignorant or plain stupid, especially when comes to white American concepts - Damian is insanely smart. He knows what riddles are. He knows what metaphors are. He knows that Gotham is a city in New Jersey in America, and that American concepts like school clubs and sports teams and cliques and dances exist. Sometimes it sounds you're making Damian intentionally an idiot when you imply he doesn't know what a video game or a tv show is. Just because he grew up sheltered does not mean he's fucking blind. He's a kid who grew up Middle Eastern, not in another planet.

nitpick but Damian calling Bruce "baba" at every turn or throwing in "habibi" when you write ship content - I am not Arabic, but i'd feel the same kind of annoyance if someone wrote Damian calling Bruce "papa" or "padre" all the time, or randomly listing off Spanish endearments in ship fics. In moderation, it can be cute and appreciative. But sometimes it reads like you just discovered a new funny word and you're throwing it around for no reason.

Insisting that Damian should have learned morality or been punished severely by any of the bats when he first showed up - I must stress that none of them did jack shit to teach Damian any kind of morality when he appeared. Bruce met him, yelled at him, fucked off for a mission, came back and then promptly left him behind with Talia before they were presumed dead by explosion. Then Bruce straight up died. Bruce had very little to do with Damian in the early era. Dick, also, didn't really do anything in terms of actually sitting Damian down and explaining the Bat code or just general "killing=bad". He taught Damian to be Robin, and by that process, gradually got through to him about being a hero and a good person. You cannot expect good behavior from a child from the get-go if you've done nothing to teach that child. On that matter then, implying that Damian should have been kicked out of the house or beaten up on behalf of Tim as a form of punishment or a "teaching moment" is genuinely insane. You're going to abuse the already abused ten year old because he hurt your favorite character? Really? You're truly the pinnacle of an adult figure that he should respect /s.

Being annoying about Damian's attitude towards other characters - he's sarcastic and rude on purpose. It's pretty clear from the start to Damian that no one likes him, so he chooses to not like them back. If you cry about him calling Tim names, then I honestly think you don't have a high opinion of Tim at all if you think a seventeen/eighteen year old teenager would be hurt or psychologically scarred by a ten year old calling him a mean name.

Exaggerating Damian's violence and making people terrified of him - calling his fights with Tim "attempted murder" both undermines what murder actually is and undermines Tim's skill levels. The cutting the line incident for example. Obviously the action of cutting it was dangerous, but if you genuinely believe that Tim would have died from it or that he would regard it with any PTSD-level importance is (imo) kind of stupid. We always hear about the actions Damian takes around other characters, but never the canon reaction. In the 2009-2011 era, Tim was angry and annoyed about Damian. Whenever Damian did anything to him, he fought back. He would shoot back remarks, land a blow. Tim wasn't scared of Damian. They didn't even live together long enough for Tim to feel "unsafe in his own home." The second Damian became Robin, Tim left. They never lived in the same house since then, until the reboot, and even then Tim has been pretty independent and Damian has been away from Gotham more often than in it. Same deal applies to Dick and Steph and Jason and Cass, they never took Damian's actions lying down. He's just a mild annoyance to them. In fact, Damian doesn't attack them in their sleep. He doesn't try to kill them every chance he gets. He doesn't plot their demise. Every instance of Damian fighting someone in the family has either been; protective impulse, a reaction to a fight they instigated, or a sparring-type situation where neither of them are taking things seriously.

#a lot of these amount to ignorance leading to racism or making Damian white and stupid or exaggerating his traits into something monstrous #funny how fandom does that a lot #damian wayne meta #damian wayne #dc #a painted bird called tamer

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jamiedc-they-them · 15 hours

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Good People - Part II: Do Unto Others (Platonic)

Part 1 is here!

NOTE: Once again, this series (maybe? if people like it and their dynamic?) will be shorter pieces around certain scenes rather than full episodes. Kind of like summaries with specific lil bits with the main focus being Lucy and Y/N's friendship. Enjoy!

Chapter Summary: You take Lucy to Filly. A gunfight ensues. Lucy surprises you with loyalty.

"I thought I'd have to marry my Cousin," Lucy tells you as you both start to leave the desert and enter a forest area.

"...Uh...Ok?" you say, not really sure how to react to the information your new friend has just given you.

"Is that not...is that now how things are done up here? What about the survival of the Human Race?"

You snort, helping her over a log, "Don't think that's the thing on a lot of people's minds."

"How so?" she asks, genuinley confused.

"More so just concerned about the whole, survival of the self, type thing."

"That's understandable. Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"I won't."

"No, I meant like, ask me. 'Sure, go ahead.'"

"Oh. Sorry. Still getting used to the lingo out here."

You snort again, "ain't too much to learn. And, you're fine, wasn't the worse miscommunication."

She nods, smile on her face, "okey dokey."

You keep walking on, passing two people. You move out of their way, but Lucy gives them a friendly greeting. Nothing comes of it, but you still find yourself leaning in close to her - and accidentally making her jump as she didn't see that you had stopped - and saying to her, "try not to do that in general when out, ok? In towns? Maybe, especially with your quest. But out here," you move your finger in a circular motion, "don't."

"Can I ask why? Nothing bad happened," you partly pity and find her innocence kind of endearing.

"Just...this time it didn't go bad. It might not next time."

"Sorry."

"Don't - don't be sorry," you say, finding your guard going down a bit at her genuine apology, "just...lessons learnt, right?"

She nods, enthusiastically, "yes. One hundo percento!"

You shake your head, "alrighty then. Onward to Filly."

Filly wasn't a bad town. It had all sorts of life in it, not all nice mind, and a certain charm with the environment it laid in. It was also what led you to realise that, for most of your time surviving, you had spent it wandering in circles essentially, with you almost always ending up back here and some point.

Lucy moves between two people, reaching out and grabbing your hand to make sure you don't get lost. She tightens it a bit as you look back at the two people as they look at Lucy, discussing to themselves about the Vault Dweller.

"Y/N, come on," she says, tugging on your hand, "no need to start a fight."

Your hand unfurls from the fist it was in.

You nod at her, she nods back.

A vendor tries to get her to try some meat; she tries to find information on her dad; the vendor just goes back to selling meat.

"Move on. Come on. Don't wanna get trapped here," you say, trying to usher Lucy along.

"But he might --" Lucy protests.

"Trust me?" you ask, attempting to just keep her moving.

Yet --

"I do," Lucy says.

It makes you both pause.

"What?" she asks, genuinley confused.

"That quick, huh?"

She nods, now moving of her own volition.

"Like I said, good judge of character."

She walks on a bit, as you stay put.

"Huh," you say. You'd never been told that before. A snake, sure. Or some other bad word. But never someone to be trusted. Sounded foreign to you.

Still, it made you have a slight spring in your step - or as much as you could, given your current predicament.

Lucy looks in wonder at the place, "Wow-wee!" she says.

"Not a bad looker, is it? End of the world really brings out the creativity in people."

"I didn't expect this, for sure," she admits. Maybe it's her honesty, the ability to have her guard almost always be down, that makes you admire her a bit more. She trusts easily. It shakes you a bit, how quickly she both did that and gave you her water. Things like that are worth gold out here. And yet she gave it to you freely.

She's the one with that dart gun, and yet you find yourself being more of the protector. She accidentally barges shoulder with someone, and apologises. The man, a towering figure, looks her up and down. You stand between them, until his friend hits him as well.

"They might have something for you," you say, nodding to the shop, "I'll stay with you until you find something here. Then, let you be on your way."

"Wait, you aren't coming with me to my dad?" she asks, saddened.

"I mean, I didn't think so? If she has something, then you know where to go. I told you the golden rule: don't fuck with people, and they won't with you. About all you need to know really. That, and you got that," you nod to her weapon, "so you should be ok."

"'Should'?"

You sigh, running a hand on your face. You feel off, "yeah. I mean, I know you said about your vault and all, but that life is too good for someone like me."

"That's not true," she says, hurt on your behalf.

You hold a hand up, "look, we'll talk after, ok? You just go in first, see if she knows anything, then go from there, ok?"

She nods, mood dampened a little. She goes in; you sit in a chair, coughing a few times as you do. You don't know if it's the heat, or what, but something is dragging you down. You just hope it's not this infection. That would be an embarrassing way to go.

Time ticks by, before she leaves, face looking depressed.

"What happened?" you ask. But you don't get an answer, instead, she pauses, looking to a man with glasses.

He warns her about going back to her vault. That it isn't safe here. You chuckle, a dry one but still, he's hit the nail on the head.

He then surprises you both, he tells her facts about her vault: their primary crop is corn; there is a telesonic projector in your farm; it loops images of the Nebraskan countryside; meritocracy - whatever that means - something about the right thing apparently.

You miss the rest, and jolt at a hand on your shoulder. It's Lucy, who is looking at you in concern. She says something, looks away from you, but the voices overlap until -

"It's ok," Lucy says, softly. You look, and see the man she was talking to, a doctor - round glasses, a kind smile on his aged face, "he's a doctor."

"I don't have many - or any tools," he says, looking apologetic.

You wave him off, "not like I have many - or any caps."

He chuckles, leaning down a bit to look at you, "I think, in your condition, I can make an exception," you chuckle a bit this time - it instantly goes into a cough, "let's have a look at you," he reaches out, and you recoil, "to help, I will need to touch."

You seem to forget Lucy had previously held your hand and you had felt nothing of it, but you flinch when even she touches you and puts a hand on your knee.

"Y/N, this is the only way to help you," she insists, "you helped me get here. And, to be honest, I don't really want to leave you in this condition."

You look at her pleading eyes. She's only known you for an hour, tops, and yet she wants the genuine best for you.

You've been looked at like that before, it didn't end well. Friendships never did.

Still, you find yourself nodding. The doctor is gentle with his touch, looking at your scratches.

"I believe it is this one," he says, gesturing to one on your torn trousers being exposed to everything.

"Someone urinated on it," Lucy says.

The doctor looks to you, you confirm it, "ah, then this is what may of caused the infection. Either that, or general exposure to wasteland itself. How long have you had this wound?"

"I honestly do not know."

The doctor nods, stands, and readjusts his glasses, "I will try find you a Stimpack inside, and see if that helps your pain."

The woman from inside the shop comes out, and helps the doctor 'Wilzig' inside. Lucy helps you up. However, before anything else can happen, a Ghoul stands up, calling out to him.

Wilzig's leg is blown off. There's a tense moment, before bullets start flying. A stray bullet catches you on the shoulder. You stumble into the store. You look for a weapon, anything to help keep yourself and Lucy alive as the gunshots keep flying.

"Y/N. Y/N!" Lucy says, making sure not to touch you, but close enough to catch you if you fall, "you can't fight like this! You need to hide!"

"I ain't hiding!" you say, memories of a previous failure flashing in your mind, "not with that monster outside."

"I'll deal with him."

"With that little piss shooter?!" you snap, adrenaline pushing you at this point. A couple more coughs leave you.

"Look, you can't help like this, ok?" she says, taking her weapon out. And, despite your own circumstances, you can see clearly that it's drugs loaded into the thing - it'll do nothing here, "I will solve this as peacefully as I can, ok."

"That really ain't a good idea -"

"Trust me, Y/N. Ok? Golden rule. I have mine and you have yours. Right now, I'm gonna use mine, but if it goes bad, I'll use yours and this."

You can't even stop her as she goes outside.

The Ghoul seems almost annoyed at this whole thing. But, before he can shoot Lucy, a Brotherhood member appears in a suit, and blocks shots aimed for Lucy as they both come through the wall.

With the distraction, you take your moment. You don't have a gone, but you may as well...help. The good doctor helped you after all.

With Lucy and the shop owner's help, you pull Wilzig inside. They sit him down on a seat, as your wounds get to you. You stumble.

Lucy, in an instant, catches you and puts you on your own seat.

"Holy moly," Lucy says, looking at your bleeding shoulder, "that is in deep.

"I know," you say, trying to find something to pull it out with. The shop owner seems to know this, and pushes a knife towards you. You take it, and take a few steadying breaths.

Your hand shakes, adrenaline not helping you here at all. You're scared too. Have whatever the hell is wrong with you plus your fear. Not a great combo.

Lucy, attempting to ignore the Wilzig having a robotic foot being shoved into him, looks at you and approaches you.

"Here," she says, taking your hand and taking the knife, "let me."

"You even know what you're doing?"

She shrugs, "steadier hand, somehow," she quips, holding out her hand and comparing it to yours, "and, no time like the present."

You suppose you have like no options, so you just nod.

"You wanna know my golden rule?" she asks, trying to distract you as she psyches herself up. You make a noise she assumes is 'ok' and continues, "'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.'" she says, "you helped me, I'll help you. That is how we rebuild."

"The hell you jump from me to rebui--" you are cut off when Lucy jabs the knife into your shoulder. A burning white flash hits your vision. You hear a plethora of 'sorry!' leave her, but you finally the pain start to fade a small bit when you feel the knife be removed along with the bullet casing.

"Done! Done!" Lucy says. You try and focus your breathing and mind, trying to escape the pain.

You feel a glass of something be put in your hand. You down it. You feel the burn of some alcoholic drink.

"Now," the shopkeeper says," that should keep your friend going for a little bit. At least, until they find a Stimpack. I'm sure you'll find one on your way to Moldaver. You feel her pat you - you don't flinch, too focused on being in the present and not spinning, "you alright, kid?"

You give a thumbs up.

She gives you another pat. You open your eyes. You don't feel amazing. But, you don't feel as worse, so in this world that's positively amazing.

"I'll sneak you three out back," the shopkeeper says.

She keeps her word. Once again, something rare here.

Lucy, yourself, and Wilzig walk through the wasteland. Lucy keeps checking her pip boy every so often.

You come to a rest, and your day gets even better: Wilzig has taken a cyanide pill, and you need to decapitate him to keep going and have something to give Moldaver.

He passes away, and Lucy looks to the blade she has been given. It startles her when it activates.

"Okey dokey, Luce," she says to herself, "you can do this. You can do this. Just...think of it as a massive knife that...moves, and you'll be -"

It activates again and she drops it. She doesn't reach it first, however, you do.

"Look away, is all I'll say."

"No, Y/N. No, you don't have to do this --"

"'Do unto others', right?" You nod, preparing yourself for the grim task, "I got this, ok? Just, look away, please? It'll get real messy."

She stutters a few times; seemingly wanting to persist, thank you, and object all in one go. But, she turns around. You look back at the body.

"Here we go..." you tell yourself, before activating the blade.

Guess you're in this now...fully.

#fallout x you #lucy fallout #fallout x reader #fallout imagine #fallout #lucy maclean x reader #lucy maclean #lucy maclean imagine #lucy maclean fallout

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kishiar-la-orr · 3 days

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personally speaking, there are 3 parts of kishiar la orr's character that makes me find him really fascinating.

first is how he is technically a troupe but a subversion of a troupe at the same time? male leads in romances, whether its het romance or a BL romance, are usually like. cold northern duke who is super strong, super smart and opens up to the main character very slowly because of the main character's kindness, blunt and at times rude. instead, we have kishiar — who is also a northern duke and super strong and super smart, but i'd argue between kishiar and yuder, the one who made the first move to further advance their connection is kishiar? as in, he extends his thoughts and feelings genuinely, expresses wanting to be close to yuder, which are all an olive branch yuder can accept, a sign of trust and (to a degree) vulnerability and real intent to form a connection.

yes, part of him plays into the common male lead troupes, but other parts of him honestly reads more like a female lead? he's the one more emotionally in touch, he's the socially savvy one, he's sunny and smiley. which is just fun, in my opinion, when compared to other BLs i've personally found over the years.

the second thing is my unending fascination with kishiar's complicated tango with mortality. being sickly from childhood, there must've been a sense of impending doom — especially when it's practically public secret among nobles that imperial family members usually die young because of vessel issues. kishiar was on super fast track to the same recorded fates those other people had. but then, in the prev. game, he survived! became healthy! only to not long after take two steps backwards as his health arguably got worse. sometimes i think being killed by yudrein in the 1st tl could be considered a mercy to 1st tl kishiar.

and in the 2nd tl, he went from sick to healthy — and that is it. i think with the blooming romance with yuder, it emphasizes the core characteristic of kishiar that is: he does everything for the people he loves, their future and happiness whether it's with or without him in the picture. ideally, of course it's with him. and in the 2nd tl, he's finally granted this. you can really tell when you see the prev. game flashbacks and go back to the present timeline that kishiar is just much more alive and not just in the physical sense — there is a drive and a sense of liveliness that wasn't there in all of their past life sections, in my opinion.

i just really get fascinated with character struggles with mortality, man. i think kishiar especially has a lot to offer in this department, there are so many things from canon that you can deconstruct or things not yet answered that you can headcanon — everything to play around and explore further about his character and its deep ties to death. even down to the way that he talks, to me, is due to his isolation because of the very vessel bursting issue that also foresaw his impending doom. like, he talks like a person who's alone a lot while growing up? the eloquence and all. it is so fun. naturally, this also includes his expertise with emotional processing and expression — i also think this can also be tied down to his intricate dance with mortality.

finally, the last layer is that kishiar, by all accounts, should be a gary stu — a male version of a mary sue character — and should maybe be boring to read about. he can do practically everything from magic, swordsmanship and aura, divine power to awakener ability. he is sociable and politically wise, able to play the 5D chess of nobles and high society and extract information from enemies and allies alike easily with his multi-layered words. he is smart, he is emotionally intelligent, he has a lot of strong allies, he is kind. but... he isn't boring to read about? not at all. his struggles may have passed, but they are struggles anyway. they contribute to the way i perceive him as a character and only cause me to be even more fascinated by him. and this very 'perfection' kuyu sets him up with — especially the being super strong and able to wield all the powers in their world like a goddamn avatar — is set up to be a major flaw: the very reason his vessel couldn't hold it for the majority of his life and in the 1st tl. everything just colors a very interesting picture of a character that i ended up beyond obsessed with.

#turning #turning novel #터닝 #turning bl #turning by kuyu #kishiar la orr #not kishiar rizz #persounal #<- new tag for my opinions and thoughts and so on! because this is technically my turning sideblog still. sobs #if you dont wanna see it and you just want quotes youre more than welcome to mute the tag!#curate your online space #i am just rambling #i didnt think id be more obsessed with him than yuder at first but here we are #textpost

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oceanwithouthermoon · 4 months

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i always feel bad when i see how the point of a lot of saiki's personality traits flew right over the heads of a lot of fans due to him being an unreliable narrator and a tsundere lol.. so a lot of things he says are immediately proved to be untrue and often just him putting up a front, but some people dont pick up on it..

like i see a lot of "haha saiki would never want to watch a romance movie" guys there is an entire chapter (170) dedicated to him being like "i much prefer mysteries to romance stories.." and then immediately becoming absolutely enamored with a romance story.. he was lying, guys, LMAO

less specific ones include:

"i hate children, they annoy me" *goes out of his way to help kids, comfort them, be kind to them, etc.*

"i only use my powers for self gain/my own convenience." "anyway my mama told me to never use my powers selfishly so i always use them to help people and i try my best not to use them for personal gain<3"

"those guys are so annoying, i would never hang out with them willingly." "yeah it took them about two sentences to convince me to go with them. their thoughts seemed like they really wanted me to go, so i did. i didnt want them to be upset. not that i care about them or anything."

(sorry i post about this kind of thing a lot, i just giggle a lot at how the entire manga is so easily misinterpreted and thousands of people have watched the show but didnt pick up on the main characters most defining character traits and frequent bits.. i think there needs to be a masterlist or something disproving all the extremely common misconceptions about saiki k lol)

#not hating lmao its just silly #i once saw one of those 'how saiki k characters would drink their coffee' posts and for saiki it said 'black coffee'#and i giggled #what do you mean you think the guy who only smiles during really sweet moments or when hes eating sweets would drink black coffee #thats so out of character but they obvi were just going by personality which u guess is funny #that mf prob would make homemade pumpkin spice lattes drowned in sugar and creamer and whipped cream and sprinkles #hey genuine question to people who watched the anime this way: how was it still funny ?#him being a liar tsundere unreliable narrator is often the MAIN bit.. like in EVERY chapter..#did u only pay attention to the silly mini jokes within the episodes and those were somehow still enough to make you love the show ?#or like.. what was it ??? IDK I GENUINELY DONT GET IT #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo #meows post #meownalysis

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hellspawnmotel · 11 months

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terranigma, a cool game

#terranigma #terranigma ark #terranigma elle #terranigma meilin #art tag #im going to write a little review in the tags bear with me #first the negative:#the magic system is weird to use and basically useless apart from one boss thats almost impossible without magic #it has some weird racism like most old games where you travel around the world. a little more egregious since its supposed to be real earth #i found the main character to be slightly insufferable for about 3/4ths of the game. i came around on him by the end tho. he grows up a lot #and i found whats by far the largest section of the game (chapter 3) to be the least interesting #im not really into helping cities develop and trade quests tho so it might just be me #oh also it is STUPID easy to permanently lock yourself out of like 15 sidequests #and theres a lot of mandatory things that are really hard to figure out. you need to use a walkthrough for this #anyway thats what i didnt like #what i DID like tho. i dont want to get into too much detail but #its a genuinely beautiful game for so much of it #there were so many moments that left me speechless #its high-concept and thoughtful and fun to play #you dont really need to do much grinding either #at its worst its obtuse and cliche but at its best its breathtaking #and i really recommend more people check it out #special shoutout to my friend seona who modded my 3DS and downloaded a bunch of roms including this one #so in conclusion. terranigma is an underrated gem. play it if youre a 90s jrpg junkie like me #just have a walkthrough open also lol

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gideonisms · 3 months

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I become 300% more of both a lover and a hater when I'm on my period. just a time of the month when I have strong opinions I would say

#i want to kiss a butch for 3 hours. also i'm the only one in the world with correct opinions about everything #me the main character of life #anyway i saw this post complaining about sanitized mass marketable queer art #where the person described themselves based on the interests i guess they thought were most stereotypical and then were like #isn't there something rawer or more real than this #to which i would say there is! but you went to the queer market day #idk it is a frustration of mine too i do get it #but i think some people could stand to just get weirder and like the things they like #idk i buy cute little queer stickers all the time but i regularly stand out as a strange person in both queer and straight communities #get a friend who worked the same shit job who will sell you abstract alien art they made while they were high it's not hard #go to goodwill more. you'll find some raw expressions of humanity.#if you just want your interests to be more genuine to you it's simple #you just have to accept that maybe 2 other people will be able to rec you music or foods you enjoy #being more specific isn't everything it's cracked up to be sometimes #i think the problem here is mainly capitalism

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mishapen-dear · 6 months

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OH. okay so normally i dont touch discourse with a 20 ft pole, but this has been niggling at my brain tonight and i finally realized why

the people who are mad at qbbh for the memory loss and “dodging consequences” dont understand that he doesnt want to dodge consequences. Like they cant know that, they werent focused on him when he was literally feeding himself to the soul vultures and planning his eventual imprisonment and also. The Many Many Many hints he made towards suicide/sacrifice/Just Fucking Dying.

ccbbh is a subtle roleplayer, he’s been building this shit up for two whole months- it was day FIVE of the eggs going missing that he resolved to do whatever it took (hurting his friends) to get the eggs back. It was day three that he followed in dapper’s footsteps and started feeding himself to the soul vultures (and gaining a Massive headwound beneath his hood in the process- you can only see it if you go on namemc and remove the layers). He’s got impaired judgement. Even the memory issues arent a new thing- i cant remember exactly when they started, but one of the first big moments i remmeber was september 30th where he spent an hour falling into a delusional frenzy searching his base for cameras that he forgot he asked aypierre to plant.

The super murder of purgatory and the memory loss afterwards probably all feels very sudden for people who havent been following his story, but as someone who has been- all of this has been true to character. The only cheap swings he’s made have been combat-based in purgatory, and even the motive for those was built up in rp.

People are calling for consequences, but he has alrwady been experiencing self-inflicted consequences for months. The blue on his usual outfit is blood. This recent memory loss isnt a restart to get away with the atrocities - it is yet another consequence of his egg-protecting complexes and the ways he punishes himself for failing them.

he is NOT a moral character. he’s a demon hiding in plain site. he has eaten people. he has killed people. he understands the cruelty of his actions, and the consequences of them for the loved ones of his victims. but it matters when that harm is being done to his loved ones. he’ll still do it, because he will do anything for the eggs, but it matters, and that means that he has already started the process of self-inflicting those much-demanded consequences

#anyone who isnt a qbbh makn please extend some sympathy for us. our guy is being misunderstood again #so if people seem twitchier than usual that probbaly plays a factor #but if it ever gets annoying be rest assured he is doing his very best to train us in media literacy #and also the block and filter buttons are your friends #and qbbh mains join me in the genuinely freeing revelation that they have just. strawmanned him yet again #i feel like youve gotta be able to understand a character to truly hate them #and no one (not even us oh my fucking god) really understand him #and thus the vitrol means nothing and i am free of all woes #anyway tho genuinely if you want to know more about this cube im willing to talk about him #i have Credentials #one of my posts was dono’d to the cc almost word for word and he called me a know it all #qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #discourse #<- mentioned #an interestinf discussion could be had too about xyz character Deserving xyz thing #and really people in general Deserving xyz thing #but i think that is a wasp nest i dont know enough about to join swatting #i ngeed. to go to bed

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