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hanniluvi · 9 months

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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 — TEN THINGS I HATE ; JAY FIC

“ I’ll do better, if you stay with me like this. ”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ where jay keeps a journal where he documents all the reasons he hates you, his rival. despite claiming he will forever hate you, keeping this journal only makes him realize his feelings for you.

PAIRING rival!jay x gn!reader

GENRE angst, fluff — WARNINGS jealousy ; overthinking !

WORD COUNT 1.7K+ (1730)

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ soph strikes again!! angst cb, did we cheer?? anyways i was in the feels okay 😢 listening to music while writing really unlocks something in ur brain im telling you…idk what really went thru my mind when making this but enjoy 😊🫶

#1 – HOW YOU’RE GOOD AT EVERYTHING.

Is it normal to have a journal dedicated to someone you hate? Whatever, I just need to get this off my chest. Whenever you’re involved, it’s like I could have nothing I want. It’s stupid, but I don’t care, it just pisses me off when you easily follow instructions, perfect things on your first try, and get all the awards I wish to have. I admit, jealousy consumes me. It's frustrating how effortlessly you seem to achieve anything you want without even trying. Seeing your achievements plastered all over the school only intensifies my anger, making me wish I could tear your posters into shreds. I've never despised second place more than now. Why can't I find contentment with my own scores or position, just like you? How can I remove you from my life and find peace within myself?

#2 – HOW CHEERFUL YOU ARE.

How is it possible for someone to remain so happy throughout the entire day? I can't help but wonder if you possess some magical influence over my friends, as they seem to shower you with compliments non-stop. It's weird to hear nothing but praise for you while I find myself complaining about various things. It's almost as if nobody comprehends why I harbor such animosity towards you, and this frustrates me immensely. Every time I express my emotions, they tell me to laugh and smile more, as if I don't already do it enough. But then, when I contemplate your cheerful and positive demeanor, it becomes clear why they encourage it. You're like the epitome of a model student everyone aspires to be, while I remain the perpetually angry and stubborn person. No wonder everyone wants to spend time with you, and perhaps that's one thing I can agree with others on.

#3 – YOU LIKE THINGS THAT I LIKE.

It's almost like a curse that we share the same interests. It's the reason I keep encountering you everywhere. Whatever I do, you seem to be there, expressing your fondness for the same things with your friends. It's frustrating, and I can't help but roll my eyes at the thought of encountering you even more. Even listening to music has become a challenge, as I know you like the same artists. I purposely skip their songs because they only remind me of you, and I hate being consumed by thoughts of you. I yearn to stop learning more about you so that I can enjoy the things I like in peace, without these constant reminders of you.

#4 – YOU MAKE ME OVERTHINK.

Maybe because of how perfect you seem to be in other’s eyes, I wonder how I look in other people’s eyes too. Am I that awful to hang out with? Am I always seen as this angry person who hates everyone? I’m not that, I know that–my friends do as well. But others? I’m not so sure about that. What confuses me even more is why you persist in wanting to spend time with me despite any perceived flaws or stubbornness on my part. You could easily choose to be with other people who might seem better to converse with. Yet, you continue to stick around, refusing to give up on our “friendship”. And because of this, I can see how others might form a negative opinion about me. My constant push to keep you away could be misunderstood, leading people to believe I'm simply a horrible person.

#5 – YOU LIKE ME.

I'm not sure if you have romantic feelings for me, but I can tell that you consider me a friend. It's interesting because I hadn't thought of you in that way before, but it doesn't seem to bother you. Today, you stood up for me, and it felt really heartening. Normally, I might have felt angry or vulnerable when someone defends me, but this time it was different. I don’t know, it just did feel really nice. Your quick response in telling those people to stop was captivating, even though I didn't express my gratitude at the moment. Lately, I've been struggling with the loud voices in my head, and sometimes I wonder if you could help quiet them too. But now, I'm not sure what I'm trying to convey. You confuse me a lot.

#6 – YOU GIVE THE WRONG PEOPLE SECOND CHANCES.

The other day, I saw you in tears because someone had broken your heart. I must admit, I was taken aback because I had never seen you sad or upset before. It was quite a contrast to the cheerful version of yourself that I'm familiar with. What happened to you that everyone sees all the time? I hope you had someone to tell you your problems too, as it’s not easy for someone who is your rival to be comforting you. I didn’t, so I hope you went home that night filled with less worries because you have someone to talk with.

What surprised me even more was that the very next day, you gave the person who hurt you a second chance. I can't help but wonder why you keep allowing people to hurt you when it's likely they'll repeat the same behavior, ultimately affecting your radiant smile. Stop going back to the people that hurt you once, it’s only going to be a cycle. I wish I could share these thoughts with you, but I hesitate because I doubt you'd take them to heart coming from someone like me. However, I can't help caring despite my own imperfections. It's puzzling to me as well, as you make me feel oddly connected to your feelings.

#7 – SEEING YOUR TEARS.

I never imagined how much I could despise seeing someone cry until the moment I witnessed your tears. Ever since that day, I always thought about it, so how could I let it slip out of my mind this time? I’m sorry for yelling at you today. I’m sorry for saying I hate you. I didn’t mean it, I was just extremely frustrated today, and not at you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know how saying this won’t do anything, but I truly mean it. I wish I could rewind time once I saw water fill up in your eyes, but what’s done is done. You made me realize something crucial—that I've always seen you as a rival, whereas you only wanted to be friends with me. I allowed my competitive nature to ruin our chances of a meaningful connection. I fear now that you might avoid me, and I understand if you do. I worry that I might continue to hurt you, just like the people you often encounter, who don't treat you with the kindness you deserve. You deserve better than that, and I'm sorry for contributing to your pain.

#8 – GIVING ME ANOTHER CHANCE.

I never imagined we'd get another chance after what happened. I tried avoiding you, genuinely attempting to keep my distance. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't resist reaching out to talk to you again. It's almost as if we both sensed the need to address the situation, leading us to have that important conversation. I still don’t know why you gave me another chance. Did I not say hurtful things to you? How easily are you able to put that behind? Your ability to forgive and move past it leaves me in awe.

It's making me reflect on my own flaws, especially how I tend to hold grudges and struggle to let go of negative feelings. I can't quite comprehend how you do it, but you make me think about you more than ever before. Every word I speak now feels like it needs to be carefully considered, thanks to your presence in my thoughts. Your gesture of offering another chance touched me deeply and brought a smile to my face. I can't help but wonder what you've done to influence me in this way. I think you really did something to me.

#9 – FEELINGS, FEELINGS, FEELINGS.

We've connected much faster than I anticipated, even surprising my friends. I'm left wondering what you've done to me. You've become an all-encompassing thought – your smile, your laughter, your sense of humor – everything about you fills my mind. At times, I ponder whether I ever cross your thoughts too. Could this be love? My friends have mentioned it, and I can't find a way to refute them. I'm fond of you, immensely so. Isn't that a crazy twist?

It's a strange journey we're on. I started this journal to document the reasons I disliked you, but look at where it's led us. Is it too soon to be feeling this way? The idea of revealing my feelings is terrifying, yet I'm unsure if I'll ever have another opportunity. Please bear with me, allow me to find the right moment. Perhaps soon, hopefully, you'll be in my arms. I realize how absurd all this sounds – what am I even saying?

#10 – HOW EASY YOU WON ME OVER.

You won. You won my heart effortlessly, but I didn't win yours in return. I'm burdened with regret for how I've treated you. My ignorance and neglect weigh heavily on me now. It's painfully clear that he's all you've ever been able to think about. Why did I delude myself into thinking I could make a difference? If only I had treated you with the kindness you deserved from the start. Could that have made you love me instead? These thoughts haunt me.

I've grown aware of my own attachment, and I'm sorry for allowing it to consume me. I apologize for the disruption I've caused in your recent weeks. I can't bring myself to be genuinely happy for you and him, though he does seem like a better man than I could ever be. It's evident that I need to move on for your sake, to make things easier for you. Yet, there's a part of me that wishes I could still claim you as mine. That longing will always remain unchanged.

I doubt you'll ever stumble upon this journal entry, not that I would ever permit anyone to. But regardless, I want you to know that I do love you. It's a truth that's etched deeply within me, even though it pains me to admit it.

💭 — fun fact this was supposed to have a happy ending until i pulled out spotify n listened to lyn lapid…yeah.

ENHA PERM TAGLIST (🎥) — @flwoie @ixomiyu @yenavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @starcubes @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @woon2u @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @flwrshee @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz

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xurory · 6 days

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LAST KISS

summary. there was before you, and there was during you. for some reason, i never thought there would be an after you.

pairing. blade x fem! reader

cc. lowercase intended , angst - no comfort , mention of blood , implied immortal reader , 1.8k words

truly a bittersweet feeling — the way you stared at the picture frame sitting on top of your bedside table displaying a photo of two people alongside each other. you with the man you swore to love for all eternity, yingxing.

you never thought it would be this hard to let go of someone, specifically a person who you had already dedicated yourself to. constellation like souls, tied and destined together by fate. that's what it felt like loving him. for each time your eyes locks with his vermillion colored ones, those short moments felt like you were bound to devote your undying love to him forevermore.

he made it easy to stay alive, to live. for his presence simply gracing yours eased the deepest pains you've long hidden behind a carefree and bubbly personality. he accepted every little piece of you, without a care of what might come for him. he reciprocated the love you unconditionally gave him like it was easy. because for yingxing, it was beyond easy.

"don't you find it weird? that you take care of us but forget to care for yourself afterwards?" a male voice speaks in a whisper-like tone as you tend to the wound planted on his arm using bandages good for the bleeding you didn't cause. "jing yuan, stop worrying so much about me. if im still breathing just fine, then you can't say that i don't take care of myself."

you giggle, finishing his wrapped up right arm before patting it gently, standing up to leave and return the unused roll to a cabinet where they belong. "i'd like you to meet a friend of ours." his statement made you stop in your tracks, looking back behind at the vulnerable man sitting at the bed of your clinic with a smile on his face.

"who?" eyes locked on him, placing the roll on your desk as you patiently awaited for a reply from him. you seriously doubted he had more friends other than the members of the high cloud quintet who viewed you as a trusted someone who they could always run to when they're in need of assistance with injuries they earned from their battles. though, there was someone they've mentioned once who was also a member that you haven't met just yet.

jing yuan tilts his head to the side, looking straight into your eyes. "yingxing, i assume that you've heard of him atleast once or twice whenever you would engage in my conversations with my friends." which was true. you've certainly heard of that name but never really dared to ask about who he might be, for you thought none of it was your business to bring up so casually.

you remembered the day you first laid eyes on him like it happened yesterday. the memories you created with yingxing were the most vivid memories throughout the entirety of your life. fragments of memories you would forever cherish until the minute of your last breath.

he played such a special role in your life. as if you weren't able to carry the burdens crushing you without his support. it truly was a surprise that you managed to last so long unaccompanied by the man that took most of your pain just by simply being there beside you. his absence made it hard for you to breathe.

"xing, look at this!" your hand carried a white tassel that faded downward into a shade of red.

"for me?" he asks in an instant, gazing at the accessory that you've confirmed was for him with a nod. you hang the tassel on the left of his chest, watching as it swayed as he moved. yingxing smiled, at you. blood rushed up to your cheeks upon the rare sight of his gratitude towards your gift that he'd most definitely treasure endlessly.

it wasn't long before he pulled you by the waist while you watched the sun melt from a distance, feeling you warm body against his. yingxing's thumb rubbed circles against your side, making you chuckle.

oh, how you cherished every minute spent with the man you loved. simple moments of intimacy that never failed to make your heart race. silence drowned the lovers ahead, with one silently wishing to the aeons to make their relationship last, and the other hoping that he'll never have to spend another minute without you by his side.

the two were too busy being lost in each other's minds that they failed to notice baiheng capturing the moment with a camera that belonged to you, and jing yuan on the side gazing at the lovers like a proud wingman. guess you'd have to thank her for that later.

it hurt, it never really stopped hurting. yingxing healed you unknowingly, he cured the pain you endured silently by expressing his love for you. and now that he's no longer here with you, the pain became unbearable.

nevertheless, meeting new friends after almost a decade of being alone made everything a teeny tiny bit better. even though one of them was the mere reincarnation of an old friend of yours, yingxing's associate, dan feng.

meeting his reincarnation sure was confusing. he looked the same, but yet so different in so many ways. he goes by dan heng now. for some reason, the two of you got along very well, just like old times.

obviously, as part of the nameless, you were well aware of a specific organization known as the stellaron hunters to which yingxing, or should i say blade, is a member of.

he was an enemy to the astras express crew, to them, atleast. how could you ever hate someone you never stopped loving despite separation for so many years? that's right.

you thought the time where you would have to stand against your beloved would never come, so why were you panting infront of him under the pouring rain? gripping on your sword for dear life as blood streamed down your arm from the wounds he created.

he has changed, this moment was beyond your expectations but being surprised was nowhere to be found. he was your enemy, after all.

blade stood a few feet away from you, his bangs wet from the rain blocking his vision.

yingxing loved and accepted you, but blade discarded you.

for each time you caught his gaze on yours, it broke you to pieces seeing how there's practically no light to be found behind those eyes, just pure hatred. or so you thought.

blade was cursed to be damaged for eternity, cutting the hands of those who dared put his pieces back together, including the hands of the one he loved so dearly.

you wanted him to tell you everything, without leaving any details behind. you longed to feel him in your arms once again, feel that warmth of his that never failed to absolutely melt you. "x-xing.." your lungs were failing you.

"do not address me by that name." he spat, glancing over your fragile state, you were in the verge of breaking, and he did nothing about it. hearing his harsh tone felt like a million pieces of broken glass thrown against your way. you wished for him to hold you, tell you that everything's going to be alright and that he's right there, with you.

but your dreams were nothing but stupid desires.

"finish me off already." heavy breathing followed, using your sword to avoid falling to the ground and looking pathetic, like you weren't already. if you were anyone else, blade would've never hesitated and would grant your wish the moment you utter the words out. but you were more than that.

he launches at you, forcing you to engage in the duel, surrendering was not an option. "who taught you to be so weak? fight back." you immediately shielded yourself, his sword pressing against yours. his strength was unmatched.

blade pressured you to not give up, as if he wasn't already killing you slowly.

the fight between two people who were once peaceful, torn apart by fate. maybe, just maybe, in another life, they'd be able to freely love each other. there's no doubt that it would take long, after all, the worser fate than death is not being able to die.

your swords clashed, using your full strength to push him away from you. "stop.. pleas- fuck!" your arm ached, the same way your heart did.

i feel you forget me like i used to feel to breathe.

"waakee uuup~" you dragged the vowels on your tongue, kissing the white haired man sleeping soundly on your bed awake. feeling his hot breath against your face.

the sun shined brightly against his face, the face you would never get tired staring at. you could basically occupy yourself almost for an entire day just by admiring his pretty features.

"you're just wasting your time, don't you dare pity me any longer!" you screamed, furrowing your brows as you tossed your weapon aside, refusing to take part in this battle you know damn well you'd never win. the pain in your voice was easily noticed by the man before you, the grip he had on his weapon loosening. "pathetic. you know better than to prioritize your personal feelings over the battle ahead of you."

the rainstorm soon came to an end, just when you fucking needed it to conceal your tears you were so ashamed of showing. "you can't blame me, now can you? i'd rather you tear me to pieces than to live with the knowledge of you being my enemy."

"this is what we were destined to be, not even i could do anything to stop it for your radiance no longer leads my way." you wanted to scream the pain piercing your heart. your souls were bound to be against each other, and you gave yourself no right to accept such things.

blade walks away, refusing to see you suffer any longer than he could take. "i'd sacrifice anything just to feel your love again.." you whispered, loud enough for him to hear as clear as day.

"let go." was all he replied back, leaving you dumbfounded, your gaze stuck on his back as he disappeared into thin air.

you were willing to leave everything behind, give it all up just for him. but even that, he would never let you do such for his sake. for the love was there, but he simply refuses to be show vulnerability towards someone ever again, even to you.

your consciousness faded away, your body meeting the cold, wet ground. escaping reality to foolishly give the imaginary fragments of your mind indulge you for a while. considering that once you wake up, you'd have to face it all over again, as if it wouldn't kill you to live up to the fact that the probability of your relationship with him to be repaired was low, extremely.

"loving you was the most exquisite form of self destruction."

from xumi ; part 2 or nah? 🤕 reblogs r appreciated !!

#>ᴗ< — xu writes ´ˎ˗#blade x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr angst #blade angst #blade x you #hsr x reader #blade honkai #hsr blade

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titan-senpai · 1 year

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"Thank Eywa.."

Ao”Nung x omaticaya reader

A/N: Hello! Since i've been writing much for Neteyam it's time to show my other baby some love Ao”nung~~ This was a small thing i head saved it was quiet fun to write

Warning ATWOW ( not really a big warning because this is in the future AU) Aonung being jealous because Neteyam has a crush on you. AND NO HE AIN'T DEAD HE NEVER DIED HERE!

Everything was back to normal after the events of the sky. People well Ao”nung has changed a lot, a lot nicer and kinder. Something felt different about your feelings for him.

the way his hair grew longer made you wanna braid it. His smile was your world, the way his ears twitch when you're close.

something happened inside you every time you were near him.

Sitting on the sands next to Tsireya talking about your day while he’s on your mind “are you alright Y/N?” I looked at her in her eyes. “ yeah i’m fine.” I smiled it off “Something on your mind?” She looked at the sky.

“I’m almost mature.. i should have made a bond with some before reaching maturity..i'm scared” as i said the words scared she turned her head to me in a flash. “ Scared? You shouldn't be” She reassured me.

“ I- … im scared the one i love has another or doesnt love me..” thinking about Ao”nung.

“I think I’m going to head home. it's pretty late, Goodnight I’ll see you tomorrow” I smiled walking as she waved back.

I went to the entrance of my pod looking at the floor every second bumping into a certain someone I didn't want to see at this very moment. “Teyam? what are you doing here shouldn't you be with your family?” i questioned “I gotta tell you something important cmon!” the Son of Toruk makto.. a great leader.. wanted to tell me something important? soon we arrived at our destination in a cave… with gorgeous crystals “Woah, i haven't been here since ages..” I smiled looking at the glowing crystals outside the cave. “Y/N It’s gorgeous isn't it.” he smiled and laughed “Wish i glowed this much..” holding a crystal in my hand reflecting Blue in the dark. “You know, you're brighter than that, at least to me..” He smiled. “What?” I faced him as i realized he kept his eyes on me this entire time. “Teyam..” I said looking worried.

“Y/N?” I heard a familiar voice behind me.

Ao”nung…we faced him at the exact same time, in a weird position. him on top of me leaning in my face as i layed on the ground on my elbows. “It’s not what it looks like '' I began to stress. “Looks like you've been busy hm.. i'll leave you 2 to it.'' He walked away with his ears down. “Wait! Nung'' I tried to yell at him. “I’m sorry teyam.. i need to go after him we’ll talk later.” I stood up excusing myself. “You know.. You love him don't you?” he smiled at me with a sad look in his eyes. “Oh teyam.. you're my closest friend. I'm sorry but my heart belongs to Ao”nung. we’ll talk tomorrow alright?” I looked at him with sadness in my eyes, realizing he told me he liked me.

He made a gesture of brushing me to him as I thanked him and waved and ran to find him.

it didn't take long to find him, disconnecting from your Ilu and petting him “Hey Nung?” I walked to him seeing his sad face, “You shouldn't see me like this.” He looked away “No.. Look at me..” cupping his cheek as he looked at me. “Oh..nung it's alright..” I whipped his tears away “I can't stand to see you with that forest boy.. please Y/N don't leave me ever again..” he said, hugging me, I never knew he felt this way.. “Oh Nung.. I'm never leaving you” As I lifted his head to look me in the eyes. “I see you.” I smiled “I see you too Y/N..” He smiled.

“i want you to be my mate.. My Tsahik…” he asked me looking seriously in the eyes. He was serious “I've been waiting for those words for ages.. Since we were little kids running around!” I said smiling and jumping in his arms. I felt his hand around my waist and one cupping my cheek. Slowly our lips connected and it felt like a weight had lifted off me..

“Thank Eywa…you're mine now..”

( Not my GIF)

More Avatar stories i wrote ? check my List out <3

#aonung #ao'nung x reader #aonung x y/n #aonung x reader #atwow #atwow x reader #aonung x you #avatar the way of water #avatar x y/n #avatar x reader #atwow ao'nung #ao'nung x you #ao'nung imagine

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thikkiesixx · 1 year

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Steddie Fic Rec pt. 2

More Steddie fic recs, most, if not all, of these will be smut. Enjoy hehe.

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨*

monsoon season: summary- beloved children's author Eddie Munson, meet notoriously petty smut writer Steve Harrington. sorta enemies to lovers. 6k words. written by wynnfryd.

TITS magazine: summary- Eddie finds a magazine, then he finds a man. 12k words. written by wynnfryd.

my way, your way (anything goes): summary- Rockstar!Eddie Munson au set in the summer of 1988 where Corroded Coffin opens for Guns N’ Roses after Eddie ran away from Hawkins. Steve sees him for the first time in over a year and old feelings resurface. 25k words. written by rogersharringtons.

im liquid smooth, come touch me too: summary- massage therapist Steve and rockstar Eddie meet after a mixup and things get heated. 7.5k words. written by poopypantsbennett.

caught (on tape): summary- Eddie is someone people know. Someone people would never associate with the likes of Steve Harrington. And, fuck. He loves that. He gets off on that. To know that people steer clear of Eddie and his boys at events, to know that they all see him as some terrifying, larger-than-life persona, a force not to be reckoned with. It makes Steve’s head spin. It scratches an itch deep inside his brain, something he could never reach by himself. Because, at the end of the day, it’s him who gets to bring Eddie to this point. 4.5k words. written by ssoftcell.

the bartender was a trap: summary- Steve rails Eddie while talking about D&D. personally one of my faves rn. 3k words. written by mixaddams.

uneducated guesses: summary- "Steve." He pointed at the name tag on his chest. Eddie hadn't even noticed, too distracted by that face. "What's your usual scene, Eddie?" 21k words. written by eddywow.

my boyfriends in a band (he play guitar while i sing lou reed): summary- Eddie and Steve move to NYC together and when Eddie starts hooking up with guys Steve feels weird about it. It takes some revelations and even more phone calls with Robin to understand it’s jealousy. 13k words. written by unkreativstermensch.

the pre-show ritual: summary- What surprised Steve about tonight was that he wasn't sticking his dick through the hole. Instead, he found himself sitting on his heels in front of it, hands wringing anxiously in his lap as he licked his lips and waited for someone to shuffle into the other stall. 12k words. written by helix_stomper.

reach out: summary- “I didn’t know how much I’d miss you until you were gone. Right before you left, I kinda… figured some things out about myself, but I didn’t know if you’d… but I missed my chance to find out.” Without knowing he intended to speak, Eddie opened his mouth, vaguely surprised at the dusty rasp of his voice. “You didn’t know if I’d what?” “Y’know.” His face flushing even more deeply red, Steve smiled awkwardly. “Be interested.” 5k words. written by venusdoom3

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨*

PLS, if you have any of ur own recs DO NOT HESITATE TO SHARE!!! im always looking for good fics!!

#steddie #steddie fic #steddie fics #steddie fic rec #steve harrington #steve harrington x eddie munson #eddie munson #steddie smut #steddie angst #steddie fluff

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equallyshaw · 6 months

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So I lay in your arms and pretend that it's love | trevor zegras.

based off olivia rodrigo's song- scared of my guitar!

trevor x singer nameless oc!

not too sure if i wanna do gif's or pictures like that above..trying something new out (:

word count: 2.3k+

warnings: tbh, she's toxic...pls dont be like her.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

◦

Perfect, easy, so good to me So why's there a pit in my gut in the shape of you? Distract myself, say it's somethin' else Maybe I'm just overwhelmed, maybe I'm confused

◦

for around 11 months it was pure bliss...the two of them everywhere and anywhere. onlookers looked on with smiles and hushed whispers about how 'in love' they were. the two of them moved quickly in their relationship, but nobody found anything weird with it based on how their friends watched them and how they spoke about one another in the media when asked. trevor loved bringing home flowers whenever he came back from a roadie, or just because he felt like it. he showered her with gifts from the get-go as her own life was beginning to fill with riches, as her music career took off.

but once the 1 year mark was coming closer and closer, she began to feel a sense of dread. a sense of anxiety and fear, she hadn't had before. whenever she heard his name in passing or whenever somebody asked her about him, she'd freeze and stutter; not sure what to exactly say. or what was weirder, was that she spent more and more time at her apartment in la and not at his newport house...claiming that the record label was hounding her for an album and she was working day and night, like a dog. she did whatever she could in order to not think about him may it be hanging with friends, driving up and down the coast to san diego to visit family and taking spur of the moment trips with her friends. and when people asked her what was wrong or what she was thinking about, she'd always say 'work' and every white lie that came with that topic.

but when she see's trevor sporadically, she understands why she fell in love with him in the first place. he's charming, relentlessly nerdy, incredibly kind and respectful; all of which she adores. and while basking in that feeling for a bit of time, she feels guilty about how her feelings change when she's not with him. she then chalks it up to work, and how much pressure the label is giving her. so maybe just maybe, she'll stick it out with trevor.

◦

Barely sleep when you sleep next to me

But I keep thinkin' I'll find a cure

I say that I'm fine, I tell you all the time

I've never felt so happy and sure

◦

shortly after their one year, as she stays with trevor about once or twice a week, she can't help but toss and turn all night. claiming she's just stressed and overly exhausted, and he buys it all. he buys all her, "I've never been happier" or "I've never felt so sure about something in my entire life". he buys the, "once im done with the album ill move in with you." too, yet she knows they wont last. that sickening and dreadful feeling that keeps her up at night.

she goes to all of these lengths just to keep her heart from collapsing and her conscious from crumbling above her, and yet she knows right from wrong. she know's that the one that would be hurt the most is him.

◦

But I'm so scared of my guitar'

Cause it cuts right through to the heart

Yeah, it knows me too well so I got no excuse

I can't lie to it the same way that I lie to you

◦

but then when she sits down to write and come up with the chords for a song, she cant help but cry. everything becoming too much for her, her closest friends and producer seeing right through her. her music speaking the words, she can't help but think but not say. she knows that if she lies in a song, she'd be betraying her heart and her soul. her music being her lifelong love and escape, would truly affect her relationship with it.

◦

So I lay in your arms and pretend that it's love

◦

around a year and five months, she stopped writing. she stopped playing her guitar until the early morning hours. she stopped recording, citing that she was dealing with some personal issue. once the acknowledgment of 'oh shit, i need to break things off- soon' hit her mind one day during a writing session, she knew she couldn't write or sing until she did just that. and so she made her way down the coast to newport to do just that, but when she walked inside she saw a doe-eyed and blissful trevor in her midst. she crumbled right then and there, allowing him to make their way to the bedroom. she laid in his arms, not being able to fall asleep once again; and reminding herself that she loved trevor .. or at least needed to remind herself more. was it though? at least on her part?

◦

I was ravin', no boy like you I had the nerve to just stop stringin' you all along But I'm not half as decent as you I'd rather be tied to someone, even if they're wrong

◦

trevor was the guy, she thought when they first met. she thought that they were end game and would go to the absolute ends of the galaxy to believe that, to show and make people believe it too. and after some point, she felt guilty about stringing him along and talking about their future plans together. another morning she stopped by abruptly on her way from san diego, she knew she had to break things off with him. yet when she arrived at his place, she found him making breakfast and the brightest smile she hadn't seen in awhile. he went along and continued with his breakfast but not before making a cup of coffee for her and a extra serving of his breakfast for her. before leading her over to the dining room table and held her hand as they ate. guilt crept up her spine as she looked at him, talking about something that had happened on a road trip and she felt a pang in her heart. she was a coward. rather than break the band aid and say what she'd wanted to say for months now...she let him continue to speak.

he was a better person than she was, she thought. he would have ended things a long time ago if he'd felt what she'd felt or thought. he wouldn't have continued to string her along. he was a good person like that. but her? she was half the person he was, he was a good person with good intentions. the culprit?

she didn't want to be alone.

◦

I make excuses, my friends know the truth is I'm not as alright as I claim I say that I'm fine, I tell them all the time As they watch all the life fade away

◦

the life was draining from her and her friends watched as it did. she was hiding herself away in her los angeles apartment, shortly after she stopped writing. they were all rightfully concerned with her mental health and wouldn't take the 'im fine's!" she hurled at them time and time again. they even reached out to trevor and even he could not get her to come out of her shell. though, he never got the full story of why she was like that. he dropped around unannounced before and after practice, sometimes staying the night but most times slipping out after she'd fallen asleep. but not without a soft kiss to her temple, and tiptoeing out. his family and friends grew concerned when he opted to stay in newport for the offseason. by the offseason, she'd gone back into the studio and pushed through. the studio eating up whatever she had written, and loved it all.

◦

I pretend that it's love, love

'Cause what if I never find anything better? The doubt always creeps through my mind So we'll stay together 'cause how could I ever Trade somethin' that's good for what's right?

◦

with no end in sight, she continued to push through with the relationship, trying to get back to how things were before when she was without a doubt, happy and in love. when trevor does finally leave the sunshine state to go visit family and friends, she stays up thinking about her and trevor's future. would she find anybody better than him? would she find the love that they shared early in their relationship? would she find somebody almost as arrogantly confident? somebody with an infinite passion for what they do? their (affectionately) dumb friends who adored her? and somebody with a zest for life? her journals filled to the brim that summer with what had been eating her up inside.

when trevor comes back right before the season begins, he take's her out to malibu one early morning before the sunrise. she was groggy and tired from the night before, and so when she was awoken abruptly she groaned; trying to desperately to go back to bed. trevor said that he wanted to go for a sunrise and she hummed, thinking he'd go by himself. but instead, he tickled her enough to wake her up and she dreaded getting out of bed. they drove up to malibu that September 2nd, and held one another as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. he bit the inside of his cheek, body filled with nerves and anxiety. he whispered her name to begin with, and in the most trevor and most un trevor way, he proposed. she turned around to see him with tears in his eyes and visible anxiety washed over his features. she smiled softly feeling the inside of her scream to say no and beg her to leave the life she grown used to the past mere months. her smile grew wider and faker, as she said yes. trevor had gotten her dream ring from new york, and she gushed as he pulled it out. tears swelled her eyes as she felt her heart tug at the effort he'd made for her. she was going to show him the same effort as well, even if it hurt her to no end.

◦

her record label demanded an ep of some new songs they knew she undoubtedly had written after she got engaged. her album release was a massive success, going #1 and platinum in many countries. her career was reaching new heights and she was engaged? she was the it girl everybody wanted to be. yet she felt so very far from it, but kept that signature smile on at all times.

she felt herself buy into the idea of marrying trevor when she saw how excited her family was when they showed up to a private dinner the very evening of her album released. they gushed and gushed over the ring and endless possibilities her and trevor could have together. she saw how good both of their families bonded and got along with one another. she could feel the pride and gratitude that oozed off of trevor that night. he loved - no absolutely adored this life the universe had bespoked upon him. the singer was just another addition. he thought he had everything before they met, but when he saw her get absolutely hammered at a party they were both invited to; he was enamored. the grace she carried herself with when dancing, talking, singing and most importantly; the love she oozed for her friends was intoxicating. he could not and never wanted to get enough of it.

the look he gave her that night was one she'd never, ever forget in this lifetime. it was how all girls wished to be looked at. the one that would spare nothing to make their partner happy. the one where you know they'd go to the ends of the earth for you and with you. it was as if she hung the moon and the stars for him.

who would pass that up?

◦

I let the thought in, it's already done

◦

she brought into the idea of going through with the wedding after the release party and found herself immersed in wedding planning. she found herself non stop traveling with trevor that summer, after a serious playoff run. she found herself thinking of their future together because lets be honest, it was there. and she couldn't help but get excited just a bit when trevor had said, that she was going to be most beautiful bride and future mom to ever grace this planet. she looked at him through the mirror and again that look, captivated and brought her in.

◦ But I lay in your arms and pretend that it's love Yeah, I lay in your arms and pretend it's enough

◦

their wedding was a dream. an absolute dream. hollywood and hockey royalty showed up and showed out. the wedding of all weddings. they danced the night away to taylor swift. then as a surprise, trevor and his groomesman shamelessly, did a group dance to one of her upbeat songs as she sat there blushing like a fool, covering her face in embarrassment. they spent the night basking in everybody's presence, the singer not having a second to spare a second thought about what was going to be coming in the next few months. she knew that the world and everybody in their lives would be asking about kids and what not. yet, she pushed that towards the back of her mind. she played the role of a loving and adoring newlywed. she smiled to the camera's as if there was no tomorrow. her friends actually believing that she was happy and that she had found her way back to trevor. and in a way, that was true. she felt stuck with no way out.

the couple retreated back to the ritz carlton new york hotel suite, with a bottle of very expensive champagne, thin slice pizza and new york cheesecake. after stuffing their faces in between making out, the two fell asleep. or at least trevor did. the singer looked up at the ceiling, wide awake and unable to sleep. she had played the part this long...what was another ten?

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

umm....sorry about that! part two is coming at some point because i wanna hurt myself even more lmao...

please like and reblog if you did and id love to hear your thoughts too!

tags: @cuttergauthier @zegrasbabyyy @hockeyboysarehot @slafgoalskybaby @sc0tters @sweetestdesire @jayda12 @starshine-hockey-girl @cellythefloshie

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras x oc #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras blurb #trevor zegras fic #trevor zegras imagine #anahiem ducks #hockey #nhl #hcckey blurb #nhl blurb #hockey fic #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey imagine

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binzlovenicetingz · 9 months

Note

Idk if your taking requests for will or Luca but can you do one where the reader is saving themselves for marriage but is scared which will/Luca would leave them. Im sorry I’m feeling angst, fluffy. Not having a good day😭

hi hi yes i am taking requests imma a little slow with replies due to work but i will try my best and I’m sorry you weren’t having a good day. feel free to message anytime 🤎

I’ll give this one to Luca. You were honestly so scared to tell him that you were saving yourself for marriage because 1) that was still considered old-fashioned by some of your friends and 2) you didn’t want to lose him. the thought of your relationship with ending because you didn’t “put out” was always in the back of your mind every time a kiss getting too heated and you’d feel his need growing before you pulled away. If he was upset about it then he never showed it or was really good at hiding it

you shared this with some friends who shared story after story of their partner leaving or cheating because there was no sex. there advise only sent you spiraling further because what if Luca gets bored of waiting? he was a hot chef with tattoos and beefy arms, there wouldn’t be any issues with him finding someone who would be willing to give up all of themselves to him, you just weren’t one of them.

you thought that you were keeping it all together but Luca noticed a change in you for a while now. Opting to watch and listen until he started to ask what was wrong but you would push it off quickly, a small smile on your pretty lips wasn’t fooling him but you wouldn’t talk him and he could force you too

until one nice, his first night off in awhile and he just wanted to spend it laying in bed cuddled up with you. instead you were scrolling through your instagram, showing him every post that had a woman in a bikini or some tight athletic shorts, asking him if he thought this one was pretty or that one. he entertained you the first time but now Luca couldn’t stand seeing another influencers edit tits being shown.

with a tired sigh, Luca sits up, eyeing you carefully while you continued scrolling “what’s this really about, love?”

“about what?” you don’t look up, scrolling and liking post after post.

“what you’re doing now” Luca reaches over, taking your phone from your hand ad your quickly protest.

“you can’t just take my stuff like that!” you huff but quickly stop when you see the remorse on his face.

“I know and I’m sorry but I need you to focus on me, angel, please.” Luca gently cups your cheek, eyes filled with admiration and worry. “just..talk to me, please.”

you were a goner. instantly you were wrapping your arms around him, tears flowing and you tried to tell him about your insecurities, the worries and thoughts that go through your head.

Luca holds your close, letting you cry out but also soothing you. he couldn’t understand what you were trying to say but you softly whispering, “please don’t leave me” crushed him. after a few minutes, you felt yourself calming down while Luca gently rubbings small circles on your back.

“I’m not sure where this is coming from but I’m not leaving you.” he says gentle yet firm in his words, he makes sure your focus on him, “all those other people you showed me, there’s nothing compared to you, okay?”

you nod slowly before he places a kiss on top of your head. a sign leaving your lips, it was now or never, “I..um..Im-Im a virgin and I plan on keeping it that way until I’m married.”

Luca was slightly taken aback by your sudden confession and he must of looked surprised because you were quick to continue, word vomit claiming you as it’s next victim.

“I-I know it’s probably weird that I’m not putting out or whatever but this means a lot too me and I want to know that I’m g-giving myself to someone who truly loves me. so if you wanted break up or something then just do it now because I heard that if I don’t sleep with you soon, you’re going to find someone who will give it up easily to because that’s just something that’s gonna happen and-“

“whoa, who told you that crap?”

you shrug like a child caught but you still shared the name of some friends who told you those cheating stories. you can tell Luca was annoyed by that but he was quick to reassure you he’s not the type and that you might need to rethink some friendships if they aren’t being supportive of you.”

“I meant what I said, y/n. I’m not going anywhere”

for the first time in a while, Luca was able to see your perfect smile.

Satisfied that you were able to talk to him about your problems and work through them together.

#chef luca the bear #luca the bear #chef luca x reader #the bear #I want luca NOW #will poulter #the bear headcanon #will poulter imagine #chef luca imagine

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chaenqen · 7 months

Note

Hey can you do an idol Ni-ki x black fanreader and can it be like a series (even short or small) if you can where they get close and become friends and then fall in love or what ever

Also they make out ( sometime or like in the story)

SORRY IF THIS IS WEIRD

featuring nishimura riki & black!fan!female!reader genre school au strangers2friends fluff twoshot warnings swearing and cussing lmk if i missed anything. a/n thanks for the request and don’t worry about it, everything’s cool !! i hope you’re okay with a twoshot and do tell if you want me to add anything to the storyline !!

pt.2

have fun ~

january 6th.

the beginning of a new year in school is always hard, isn’t it? not exactly. i used to go to an all girls school in simsbury, connecticut where i was usually one of the top ranked students. i never had a problem with getting used to new environments since i love trying new things and getting to know people. after my mom and dad got divorced my dad found a new lover when i was around six or seven. we moved to south korea together with his new wife and my half-sister zoey. im already seventeen, in the middle of puppetry yet my grades seem to never fail which is why im supposed to help some classmates every day after school. i had no idea who i was supposed to meet since my teacher said nothing but “meet him in the library.” which didn’t give me much information about the boy i’m supposed to be teaching something.

until…

“excuse me? you’re y/n, right?”

i feel a tap on my shoulder as soon as i sat down on one of the armchairs in the large library. “yeah, who’s ask—“ my eyes widen when i find out about who the yet unknown person is…

“niki?! y-you go to school here?!” my eyes widen in shock as i notice who i actually have in front of me… relax y/n, it’s just— ni-ki

“ i do but i also don’t. it’s complicated…” he scratches the back of his head with a soft yet clearly visible grin on his lips. he lets his tongue glide over his lips before speaking up again with a slightly shaky voice, seemingly a little nervous now that he knows that you seem to know him.

“so uhm… you’re good at english and stuff?” that makes you chuckle. “i guess i am, yeah” a soft smile is glued to your face as you notice him nervously looking off to the side.

“would you mind helping me? i-i’m kinda behind everyone else in our grade and i’d like to change that now…” his eyes avoid yours while he fiddles with a pen in his left hand nervously. you smile up at him in a kind way before pointing over at the armchair beside you, motioning him to sit down with you.

“i can teach you some stuff but i’m sure you’re already very good at english!” you beam him a smile before getting a notebook from out of your schoolbag that sits beside your chair. “write down five sentences about yourself. i’ll correct the things that are wrong.”

and that’s how our friendship started.

september 24th.

“ayo!” a loud voice shouts from behind me as i make my way to school, schoolbag on my shoulders. “you got them goddess braids that i recommended you to get…!” ni-kis face appears beside my own as his arm swings around my shoulder. “you know… i love the way they look on you…”

he seems to be very excited to see that i actually did what he recommended. “had nothing else in mind” i roll my eyes playfully and the corners of my lips pull up into a smirk. obviously he notices that i’m not saying the truth and pokes my side “yeah yeah of course” a soft chuckle escapes his lips and i start laughing with him, cheeks flushed slightly from happiness…

october 6th.

“wanna put these clips in your hair… they’re so pretty” ni-ki came over right after school ended. he decided to sleep over for the weekend because they’re going on a tour in a few weeks.

“go ahead then” i beam him a smile, making myself more comfortable on the floor while he sits on my bed, his feet reaching the floor beside my hips. he started to carefully put some cute clips in my hair around my braids right when i gave him permission to do so and i could just feel the happy and excited smile lingering on his lips.

“when are you guys gonna leave?” i ask with a soft tone as my eyes are glued to the tv where we put on a show we both like watching together. after some time of decorating my braids he gives my head a a few pats before answering me. “two weeks. on thursday.” my eyes widen as i turn around in surprise, a scoff of disbelief escaping my lips.

“so in the middle of a school week once again? you do know you should be going to school right?” i roll my eyes and lean my head back, laying it on his lap with a slightly annoyed expression on my face while i stare to the side. he noticed my disappointment and lets out a chuckle before placing his hands on my shoulder giving me a soft massage.

“do i now?” he asks with a teasing tone. “yeah… with me.” i couldn’t help but let out a sigh before turning around and now sitting in front of him face to face and looking up into his eyes.

“what’s my reason to go to school now, huh? fuck the good grades, i don’t care about them…” my voice softens and he could definitely tell the difference between my usual happy and energetic personality and now. im more than disappointed and sad about him leaving once again but i guess he already knows that…

“so you don’t care about the several praises that the teachers give you? the good grades and the head pats your dad gives you? you don’t give a fuck about that, hm?” he slowly leans down to my face with that usual smug grin as his hands rest on both sides of my face. “you don’t give a fuck about that?” my head nods almost automatically. “i want you… and i need you…” i was basically begging god to make him kiss me already. kiss me kiss me kiss me!

“mhm? oh yeah?” he leans even closer now, his lips right beside my ear, whispering all his words in such a delicate tone… it could make me melt right here right now.

“kiss me…” he whispers in that same tone and i react immediately, pulling him in by his collar making our lips connect. it was hectic but it was full of affection and love…

and that’s just the beginning…

@j-wyoung @lacieeeeee00

<33

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months

Note

WIBTA if I blocked/ghosted this guy I can't quit?

so I've(nb25) known this guy(m29) about 8 months, but we haven't seen each other that many times. maybe 10 total. It's just a friends with benefits situation but he's very generous, he's splurged on hotels in the city for us we didn't really need, expensive meals, he's also just given me pocket money straight up before. He will kind of do whatever I want, all I have to do is mention it and he will make it happen. i mention I wanna see the ocean at 9pm and he's driving us around to find a beach that's open. i mention a food im craving and he's already ordering it, etc. he's not rich either, he lives with his parents(I think it's more for cultural reasons than financial) but his job pays pretty well I guess. he talks about the money and I think he's trying to impress me but I know so little about money and still rely on my parents I don't even really have the context. he's constantly trying to impress me with stuff like that or how much he can bench press and i find it super off-putting and don't respond to it. He's been nothing but nice to me I think, but I think he's got issues and he can't really open up emotionally. I am very suspicious of how "nice" he is and I find his positivity to be really invalidating sometimes.

Recently I got mad at him for an insensitive comment, and while I was chewing him out he just smiled at me and kept saying "I like you". It really irked me and I felt like he wasn't taking me seriously, even after asking him why he was reacting that way he just elaborated saying he liked me because I stick up for myself ? I was upset so I kicked him out of my place, it was the middle of the night. He left with a smile on his face still. it creeped me out and I almost felt like he was gonna come back and kill me while I was home alone.

I know that I'm not into him. not just that but I actively think he's annoying, and his toxic positivity thing really gets on my nerves. Ive explained that to him and he still wants to hang out. every time were together, our dynamic gets worse. im not mean to him, but I don't hold back when I think he's making something up to sound cool/nice or being fake. he says he likes my honesty and often puts me on a pedestal for it, and im constantly having to take myself off the pedestal bc im just a human being, capable of lying and inauthenticity.

He knows I don't want a relationship and I don't think that's what he wants either? hes never asked. i know he's dating and looking for someone though. I don't even really know what he meant when he said he liked me.

Every time I see him, I end up feeling like I don't wanna see him again. I find him really annoying and end up feeling really alone with him. ive tried to break it off before which he respected but would still DM me on insta occasionally, and it's bad but eventually I just went back to him bc I liked the way he was nice to me and spent money on me. it's really pathetic but it makes me feel worthwhile? but I want to stop seeing him. and im thinking, he doesn't have my phone number and I could just block him on Instagram then Id be done with it. I think we're bad for each other and that I probably frustrate him more than he shows, I think he tried to make me jealous recently by talking about some "beautiful blonde girl" he slept with, who didn't have a "good heart" like me or something. it felt weird and negg-y. overall just really weird, bad vibes. Would I be the asshole if I just blocked him ? i have a feeling that the only other way this will stop for us is with something worse than that.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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playgrl0 · 2 years

Text

mine / baji

part 1

a/n: u might catch diabetes bc of how cute this is idk be careful lol

you're currently getting ready for your date with baji. you're really nervous because you've been friends for such a long time and you've liked him since the beginning. who the fuck are you kidding? you love this boy. you know he likes you too, he's confessed about a million times to you already. you always rejected him for the most basic reason ever; you don't wanna ruin your friendship. he just means so, so much to you and you'd never wanna lose him over something as stupid as a relationship issue. but let's forget about all that. that's in the past now. baji will be here any second now to pick you up. he told you to wear something comfortable so that's what you're wearing. you're checking yourself out one last time in the mirror when you receive a text. "im outside, babe." you roll your eyes at the text and reply "not your babe." with a smile. you walk out of your apartment and there he is, looking beautiful as ever. "you'll be my babe by the end of the night." he says in reply to your text. he walks over to you and holds his hand out for you. "may i?" you nod your head and let him take his warm hand into yours. "so, where are you taking me?" "to your favorite place." he grins. "but i just left my bedroom." he rolls his eyes and mutters a quiet "idiot" under his breath. "you'll see." you both keep walking, hands intertwined together, his thumb softly rubbing the back of your hand. the walk there was comfortable, quiet and peaceful.

"you didn't forget." you quietly, almost breathlessly speak up when you reach the place baji was taking you. a beautiful park with the most beautiful sea. the moon and the stars are shining bright and are reflecting in the water, some ducks are still swimming, others are sleeping already. baji takes out a blanket from his backpack, spreads it out onto the grass and pulls you down next to him. "i could never forget." he softly smiles at you. this place is where you and baji met each other years ago for the first time, where you became friends. you'd meet up there almost everyday just to hangout. it quickly became your safe place and a place where you'd go to when you weren't feeling well. whenever he couldn't find you, he knew you'd be there and he'd keep you company to cheer you up. over the years you two came here less and less due to being busy with other things and life being crazy. baji takes your soft hand in his once again and looks at you. "i could never forget the place where i met my best friend and fell in love with her." heat spreads over your face and you look away from him. he does it all the time, confess his feelings to you, but you'll probably never get tired of hearing it. he takes your chin between his fingers and makes you look at him again. "stop being shy around me, it's so weird, get your shit together and man up." he smirks. "shut the fuck up." you slap his hand away. "well, i hope you're hungry. mom made a few snacks for us." he says and pulls everything out the backpack and places it in front of you two. "oh, and–" he pulls out a small vase and a few hand picked flowers, places them in the vase and sets it in front of you as well. "keisuke, you are the cheesiest motherfucker ever." you giggle and he smirks, knowing that you absolutely love it.

after you're done eating and put everything away, you're both laying on your backs and staring up at the sky. baji has your hand on his stomach and softly plays with your fingers while you keep pointing out the brightest stars to him. "i like that one." he speaks up and points at another star. "yeah? why?" he turns his head to look at you. "because it's clearly the brightest and prettiest one up there. it reminds me of myself." you shake your head at him, laughing and he chuckles as well. "but you remind me of this–" he points his finger at the beautiful, bright full moon and your jaw slightly opens at that. he sits up and pulls you up with him, takes both your hands into his and takes a deep breath before he continues. "see how the moon's lighting up the sky despite how fuckin' dark it is right now? you're like my own personal full moon, y/n. you light up my darkest days and make them better. you've always done that, since the very first time we met. and if i'm not having a bad day, you're just there to shine bright and look beautiful, all for me." he puts one of his warm hands against your slightly hot cheek and rubs his thumb over it. "keisuke, i–" "shh! i've told you so many times already how much i like you and i meant it every single time. i need you in my life as more than just my best friend. i need you to be mine and only mine. i want you all to myself. you're on my mind every day. i dream about you at night and when i can't sleep, i think about you. you're driving me crazy in the most beautiful way possible and you make me feel like im going insane and my heart will fall out of my ass everytime you look at me. you giggle as a small tear runs down your cheek and he quickly rubs it away with his thumb. "i mean it, y/n. im so, so in love with you. i love you so much it almost hurts." he takes a deep breath before he continues.

"be mine. please be my girlfriend." he breathes out. you can't do anything but just stare at him. he looks beautiful. his cheeks slightly flushed, his eyes slightly glassy, plump beautiful lips in between his teeth because of how nervous he is and some strands of his gorgeous hair covering his face because of the slight wind. you sigh out and put the hair strands behind his ears. "keisuke, i-." "god, please say yes!" he interrupts you. "i promised mom i'd make you mine tonight, if i come back home and tell her you said no she'll think i fucked up and she'll literally beat my ass–" "baji, let me–" "–and i can't take another beating. do you know how strong that woman is?? and you know how scary she is when she gets angry–" "kei, shut the fuck–" "–she looks like an angel from the outside but she's evil y/n. evil. and i'm scar–" you can't take his rambling anymore. you take your face in his hands and smash your lips against his to shut him up. his eyes widen and it takes him a second to register what just happened. he closes his eyes, finally moves his lips against yours and pulls you in closer by the back of your neck. "finally" you both think. both of your hearts are beating so fast right now, they might jump out of your rib cages if you don't be careful. you're both running out of air but it feels too good to pull away, you've waited years for this very moment. how many times have you imagined his lips against yours? how many times have you imagined how good it would feel? all your imaginations can't compare to how this feels. it feels a million times better than you could've ever imagined. his soft, slightly chapped lips. his warm, minty breath. his teeth nibbling on your bottom lip. his hands pulling you closer and closer against him. everything about it, about him, feels so right. so safe.

you both pull away at the same time and stare into each other's eyes and he brushes a few strands of hair behind your ears. "'s that a yes?" he smirks. "you're so annoying." you groan out and hide your face in the crook of his neck. he chuckles, pulls your face away from his neck so he can look at you again. "i need a proper answer babe."

"im yours, keisuke."

he can't contain his smile and pulls you into another short but sweet kiss, then into a tight hug. "im so happy, y/n. i won't disappoint you. i'll take good care of you and your heart." "i trust you." you reply. "i love you keisuke." you peck his lips and he happily sighs out. "i love you more. and thank you for saving me from another beating from mom."

<3 @ playgrl0

#playgrl0writes #baji x reader #baji keisuke x reader #keisuke baji x reader #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers baji #baji #baji keisuke #keisuke baji #tokyo rev #tokyo revengers #baji fluff

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sm1leflower · 1 year

Text

Feel special

✰ pairing : Im Nayeon x Fem!reader

✰ summary : You confess your feelings to your bestfriend , the girl who always makes you feel special

✰ genre : fluff

✰ warnings : use of pet name ( love ) and nothing else i think ( please tell me if i forgot anything )

✰ word count : 0.9k and some changes

✰ a/n : i found this yesterday , when i was erasing some of my notes , so i changed some things and decided to post it :) btw if there are mistakes please ignore them , thank you.

You weren't sure why, but you felt different around her. You felt cherished. You felt special.

You were also aware of the slim to none probability that Nayeon would like you back

You weren't blind. Even though she didn't have many friends , you could see how distant observers look at her.

You first met her when you started college two years ago, and you recall it like it was yesterday.

You've always thought of her as a good friend, and you consider her to be your best friend. Maybe she doesn't think of you as her best friend, but that doesn't really matter to you.

You never considered confessing to her until now. Every time this thought entered your mind, you would shake it off and tell yourself that you have plenty of time to confess, but now that you think about it, you regret not doing so sooner.

You are waiting for Nayeon with a bouquet of flowers behind your back, ready to surprise her. You asked her yesterday if she could meet you behind the college after her classes were finished. You see her , after a few minutes of waiting. She was wearing her beautiful smile, which lit up her face. When a thought occurred to you, she was getting closer, and you could feel your emotions rising. What if Nayeon doesn't like you back? Will you maintain your friendship? or will things get weird and you two will no longer be friends? You'll find out whether she likes you or not soon, because Nayeon is getting closer and closer and in a few seconds she is right in front of you.

"Hello," she says, her smile still on her face.

"Hey" you say back , but unlike her you're not smiling "How was your day? " you ask her

"It was good, but now that I've got to see you, it's a lot better" you feel butterflies in your stomach with just a few words. "How was your day?" she questions , her gaze fixed on your face.

You wanted to tell her the truth. You wanted to tell her how nervous you were all day, especially now, as you're about to confess to her. However, you did not. "It was fantastic! But I'm glad I saw you because I need to talk to you about something very important" You answer her question, and with each word you say, she becomes more curious. "Go ahead," she encourages with a small hand gesture.

You show her the bouquet of flowers you've been carrying behind your back all this time and decide to get right to the point.

"Nayeon , I know what I'm about to say may seem ridiculous to you, but I like you. I've liked you for a while now, and I understand if you don't, but I really want to tell you about my feelings. Even if I'm having a bad day, when I see your name appear on my phone's screen , I start smiling like an idiot. When you look at me and smile, as you did a few minutes ago, my heart begins to beat at an unbelievable rate, and when you tell me how much you missed me I find myself smiling like a fool again." You take a short break to catch your breath, and you notice Nayeon staring straight into your eyes without saying anything, her smile not present on her face anymore so you take the opportunity to put the cherry on top. " It's you. You make me feel special." And with that you take a deep breath and push the bouquet towards Nayeon , hoping she'll accept it.

To be honest, you were worried about making Nayeon uncomfortable, but you also knew that if you did, she would stop you halfway through your speech and tell you so. After a few awkward seconds of silence, Nayeon takes the bouquet into her arms and holds it up to her nose to smell it. She lowers it, smiles at it, and then looks you in the eyes.

"I'm glad you finally said it," she says blankly, but her smile remains.

"What do you mean?" you inquire. Did she knew you were in love with her?

"What I mean is" she says as she takes a step closer to you "that if you didn't confess soon, I was about to take the first step."

So she knew. She was aware of how much you liked her, but she never teased you about it. She pretended she had no idea.

"How did you find out?" You ask her, even though you're fairly certain your friend, Sana, told her.

"Sana told me a while ago." she responds to your question, and you manage to suppres your laugh. Of course she did.

"Did she approach you and tell you about it, or?" Even though you wanted to, you were embarrassed to continue the sentence.

"Or what? Finish you sentence love".

You checks go red at that nickname. And also , you genuinely believe she understood what you meant, but this is just how she is.

"Or did you ask her about it?" After what seemed like a decade, you finally manage to say

"To be honest, I did ask her." That was all she said, but her words made your heart race once again

"Would you mind if I kissed you in that case?" You'd never asked someone that before, and it made you feel kind of awkward.

"If you insist."

#kpop #twice #nayeon #im nayeon #nayeon x reader #im nayeon x reader #twice x reader #twice fluff #nayeon fluff #fluff #kpop fluff #writing #sm1leflower

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weebsinstash · 11 months

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so with a platonic yandere (or yanderes) how does it work, do you just never get the chance to have a romantic relationship, do they force/encourage you into one with someone 'approved' like a family friend or someone 'in the know' sort of thing, or do their feelings change or border on the romantic side as well?

Well, I find for me personally it often depends on the character themselves for like, what kind of relationship im looking for, or, yeah sometimes i just switch it up based on concept, sometimes i get a real specific idea that stays in my brain and I can go back and forth depending on, I guess, preference. It's kind of a recent-ish development for me to think of platonic yandere AT ALL since like 99% of the time my brain goes "well if they don't love you romantically or want to fuck you what is THE POINT"

And it kind of took me a while to realize that sometimes "the point" of platonic yandere can be that they technically "don't get anything back". If they scoop you up and force therapy on you, it's because they want to legitimately help you, not to say a romantic/sexual yandere wouldn't, but for a platonic one it's more I guess "selfless" because they aren't like, getting a spouse or a fuck buddy out of it. With a platonic yandere, they don't want you to hook up with that guy because, yeah they're jealous you're not spending time with THEM but its like, spending time watching movies or going to the park or playing video games, spending time with you as you, doing potentially anything, but also they have you up on this pedestal and the guy is just an insignificant little worm to them. He thinks he can date THEIR sister? Creep creep go to jail eat dirt go six feet under here's a shovel start digging

I can be so moody and contextual about the whole thing, like for example, I've been making a lotta posts about a purely platonic yandere Batfamily with Bruce as you know the patriarch and all that, basically becoming a father figure to you even if you're already an adult, where he is like emphatically "no, Reader is your sibling, S I B L I N G" and getting out the batbottle and spraying them like cats any time he may notice anyone in his house catching feelings for you, but i also thought about, (this is kind of an AFAB specific idea sorry) what if Damian specifically developed one of those weird "big sister when i grow up im gonna marry you" complexes and Bruce is NOT having it when suddenly Damian hits him with "but FATHER, if I'M Reader's husband when I come of age, then our offspring will be YOUR biological grandchildren" and Bruce finds himself sitting there suddenly vividly picturing you holding a fat little newborn with a big head of black hair and smiling up at him "dad come hold your grandson 🥰" and he's. He's gone, like, suddenly he can't see it any other way. OBVIOUSLY Damian is the perfect husband for you, Bruce is helping raise him? Who would make a better spouse for his adopted daughter than his ACTUAL son? Talk about keeping it in the family

In his eyes, his son would make a more than competent husband once he comes of age, especially considering not only is Damian his son but, extremely similar to Bruce himself; broody angsty genius with superhuman skills, intelligence, athleticism, etc. And if not Damian, isn't Dick lowkey his favorite child, and also, you know. Already an adult and not nearly as emotionally constipated 😅 Bruce can trust either one of them to take care of you, building off of a paranoia that any place outside his family and his home is fraught with danger and anyone who hasn't been explicitly vetted by him suddenly cannot be trusted in your presence

I keep finding myself drifting back to platonic yandere but only in like, almost extremely specific circumstances, like for real those age regression ideas i realized are coming from like DEEP places of trauma and rejection for me and feeling like I'm so permanantly damaged i literally need a do over and need to be all but remade from scratch, being helped when i was younger and at my lowest points in childhood, and I'll admit I've noticed most of these platonic yandere ideas usually revolves around aspects of family, fatherhood, childhood, etc. Like literally right off the top of my head, two characters who kind of got the platonic yan ball rolling were Stolas from Helluva Boss and Nolan Grayson from Invincible, both of them fathers. Of course I would absolutely let Nolan tear this ass up too though as you guys have seen, like i find the Viltrumite Reader concepts kind of keep fluctuating between "he wants to mentor you and then catches feelings" to "no he just wants to be your dad and Viltrum mentor and after your real family dies during some kind of monster attack he just straight up adopts you and moves you into his house and the government lets him bc, i mean, they need to keep an eye on you as a Viltrumite"

Of course I also like the idea of sort of a middle ground. You know, like, the yandere begins purely platonic without any sort of intentions but it develops into something deeper after they've already come to know you and you trust them, or even, they're actually totally 100% "a normal person" and something happens to you or them where they suddenly become yandere. Like imagine you know someone for like a couple years and then all of a sudden, they're acting differently. So I've also thought about, Bruce and Reader are work friends in the Justice League and his feelings begin as purely protective and platonic and he knows you for a decent chunk of time but when he starts getting to know you more personally, more details about you the person under the costume, maybe he eventually realizes he's getting extremely jealous watching you interact with other men and, maybe in the process of taking care of you his feelings change. You get wounded on the job and you don't have any family to help provide any care while you're still extremely weak and recovering and he's helping you and that's when he suddenly realizes "oh shit this line of work is so dangerous, he doesn't want you to die, he doesn't want anyone to die but like you most specifically, he doesnt want you doing this anymore" and maybe he brings you to the manor for recovery and you never wind up leaving

But typically yes, as you suggested, usually when I've picked a character to be a platonic yandere it's because I can see them being overly protective to the point they won't let you date at all, even if the specific reasons for WHY may change. Like hypothetically for some of the ideas I've had, Stolas doesn't want you to date or have sex period because he's kind of Goin Through Some Shit and this is kind of like his second go around of being a dad and him expressing some sort of trauma or guilt over Octavia and he sees you as His Extra Special Little Girl and you don't get so much as a kiss on the cheek with another person until like, he's had enough years with you to be satisfied with "your childhood" kwim. Or a yandere who declares themselves as your sibling not completely against you dating or all that but they just have EXTREMELY high standards. like lmao imagine, like, someone like Deku basically inserting himself in your life as your brother and you're like "ok fuck dude, who do you think WOULD be worthy of dating me" and he's just like "I guess someone like All Might!" Like bro that platonic obsessive little twink is NEVER letting you get laid, you suck off ONE dick and he's holing up in his room CRYING because "someone's defiled his baby sister and made her dirty" not in the sense that he like doesn't like you anymore or he's judging YOU but in his mind your "purity" has been tainted by someone else and the only solution is to like, kill/get rid of that person and "atone" by never letting it happen again, cause obviously by letting you suck that guy off Izuku FAILED YOU, and maybe at some point he snaps and you wake up from one of your mandatory sibling cuddle sessions and he's pressed way too closely to you as he declares he's the only one worthy of you and he's sorry he didn't realize HE'S the husband you needed

Really I'm just a creepy little freak and it can depend on how I'm needing or craving to feel accepted in that particular moment in time 😅

#GOD am i on this batman justice league shit so hard #i grew up with shows like teen titans and spiderman and jla #like god if yall follow my main blog weve been discussing how i probably have a cluster b personality disorder #and ive felt. so extremelt sad and broken. bc those can form from early childhood trauma #so lmao i keeo finding mysekf drift8ng back to thise age regression ideas where. i get fixed #i either get the care i needed as a kid or i get completely reset back to before anything ever happened #and raised in you know. a questionably psychotic protective little bubble #i have issues and apparently i will always have issues lmaoooi #yandere stuff #sinprompts

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graysnetwork · 1 year

Text

Listening to the other women rn so lemme js write rq

Btw I’m working on ur guy’s requests, I write slow I’m sry

Happy thanksgiving to the people that celebrate btw❤️🙏🏼

KYLE “Gaz” GARRICK x F!READER

It was the end of the day, Kyle was in the shower, I was sitting on our shared bed just putting on some lotion because my skin felt pretty dry. I was cleaning my hands and noticed Kyle’s phone screen light up which was weird because he never got calls or texts during the evening, I knew it wasn’t “captain price” since his captain never bothered him especially when work was over.

I walked over to the night stand grabbing Kyle’s phone checking what the notification was,

“So are we still getting drinks tomorrow?”

I read, the contact said “Kate” , a million thoughts went through my head all at once. Who was Kate? And why was Kyle getting drinks with her tomorrow? And why didn’t he tell me about her, or these plans with her?!

Was he cheating? No! Kyle would never cheat on me, would he? Another message came

“Hope I get to see you tomorrow, goodnight Kyle”

Noo Kyle wouldn’t cheat on me, I hope not.

I heard the water stop, I stared at the messages for a little while longer, I kept re-reading them trying to find an explanation to calm myself.

Kyle walked into the room, I put down his phone quickly “what is it?” He asked me, I was frowning lightly “uhm, just a text” I said, not sounding like I was upset. “From who?” He asked drying his hair, “oh, says it’s from Kate” I answered, Kyle quickly walked over to the night stand snatching his phone; checking the texts, he looked worried. Maybe he was cheating, he looked like he was hiding something.

“Who’s Kate?” I asked him, my brows furrowed, my light frown coming back to my face, he looked relieved now, turning his attention to me, I assume he caught on quickly to what I was thinking

Kyle could always tell if I was sad, angry, or worried, it never took long for him to realize what I was feeling, that’s what I liked about Kyle. He understood me. He understood me better then I understood myself.

“Y/n.. kate, Laswell, it’s Laswell.” He said shaking his head lightly, ridding any of my thoughts of him cheating. He got down on his knees “I would never cheat on you Y/n, never think that again please” he said; he spoke softly, my frown disappeared, a smile replacing it.

“I was gonna tell you I was going to meet with her and Price, but I forgot. I got distracted” he continued “I’m sorry darling” he finished “no Kyle, im sorry. Im sorry I doubted you.” I said looking down into my lap, not wanting to make eye contact with him; I was so embarrassed. His hand landed on my chin, pushing it up to look back at him. “I’m sorry.” He said, beginning to get up and giving me a kiss on the lips and walking back to the dresser to close it.

I rolled over to my side of the bed getting under the blanket feeling better.

Kyle turned on his phone

“Yeah, see you tomorrow Laswell, goodnight”

He texted back. Putting his phone the dresser and getting into bed.

—

(The next day: At the bar)

Kyle sat down at the table where Price and Laswell had been waiting for him for at least half an hour.

“Hi Kyle” Kate said “Hi” he replied getting comfortable, “please, never text me at night again Laswell” he asked her “why? I was just making sure you were still coming” she said furrowing her brows.

“Yeah well, Y/n checked my phone, and thought that I was cheating, so!” He summarized the whole story. “She thought I was hiding something cause I took the phone from her, I thought you were talking about the ring” he said. Kate sighed “well you gotta be more casual Kyle” John told him.

“Whatever, I’ll make sure not to text you late ever again, now please Can we get back on track” Kate asked; both men nodded “Alright Kyle! Let’s see what this ring looks like!” She said. Kyle took a box out of his front pocket, he opened showing off a beautiful diamond ring

He specifically said he wanted it to be simple and modest but noticeable enough on your ring finger.

“Wow” John said “Wow, she is going to be one lucky girl(person)” Kate said. Kyle smiled feeling confident and proud that they liked the ring.

He couldn’t wait to ask you to be his wife.

—

Sorry if some things are written wrong 😐

#imagines #x reader stories #fluff #angst #the other women #kyle gaz garrick #cod mwii #call of duty #gaz x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #captain john price #kate laswell #gaz x you #kyle gaz garrick x you #Spotify #kyle garrick x reader

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vamossainz55 · 2 years

Text

Moonlight Ch. 5 | Carlos Sainz Jr. x Reader

hi everybodyyy, a bit late (is it becoming a trend? maybe) but i hope you enjoy it. a lot happens in the chapter but it is a bit of a filler to get the story moving. i tried adding as much carlos x reader as much as possible but the season is starting soon so im excited to get into that!! i think i was able to focus more on writing this one so i think it's also better written but im not too sure tbh! i hope you enjoy and as always please feel free to leave constructive criticism! enjoy <3<3

warnings: nothing just a bit of angst at the end. maybe a bit of swearing.

moonlight masterlist and summary here

short summary: exes to friends to lovers

read chapter four here.

Chapter Five (5k words)

“I am so sorry babe,” You sigh out as you slip on your McLaren shirt to go to the office. It had been a week since you had gone out with Ana and Carlos and it had been really hectic to say the least. The livery announcement date had finally settled and promptly announced which only meant working overtime with the team to make sure everything would happen. Most nights you found yourself coming home very late and in the mornings you were leaving as early as you could. Tom had made it clear that you didn’t need to come earlier and stay later than required (especially since you were on an intern salary) but you really couldn’t help it. You tried your best to get involved in every single thing possible, because what if you never got the opportunity again?

Bastien though was a little less happy about your arrangement. Working longer hours only meant less time to call with him and there was a clear disconnect between you both. A part of you was worried but he was also going to visit you soon so you hoped the tension would disperse then. All worries are gone until you’re telling Bastien about the livery date announcement and there’s a clear frown on his face.

“So what am I going to do on Valentine’s day in London by myself?” Bastien asks with a hint of annoyance in his voice and you let out a small sigh, shifting to look at your phone where your boyfriend was facetiming you. Bastien had planned a surprise trip to visit you for Valentine’s, wanting to stay with you for a few days, but with your news on the announcement date Bastien was not amused.

“I was planning on asking if you can join? Tom really likes me, I’m sure he’ll say yes.” You say, sitting in front of where your phone had been perched. You look at yourself through the small view on your phone screen as you clip some parts of your hair to the back to clear up your face. “If not Carlos or Lando can try asking for me I think they could have more influence than me.” You offer up as you adjust your bracelet.

Bastien looks over the screen and sighs. “I don’t care about these things, you know that.” Bastien says and you frown a little bit at his comment.

“I know it really isn’t your thing… but it’s my thing.” You say with a small smile. “Please? I’m sure you’ll love it. You’ll get to see the car in person and its really cool.” It looks like Bastien wants to argue but a notification comes on your phone that quickly catches your attention.

“Carlos is here, I’m gonna go yeah?” You say softly, looking over the screen. You hear Bastien sigh a little bit before nodding.

“Yeah, yeah. I find it weird that he’s driving you to work almost every day now but whatever.” Bastien mumbles and it’s your turn to feel a bit annoyed since he hadn’t made it an issue the days before.

“It’s not like that. When I went out with Ana and him we realised I’m practically on the way to the office for him. It saves me money from using public transport.” You justify for the third time already, although you understood where he was coming from. “I can stop going with him if you want.” You say again because as much as it didn’t mean anything you understood how it could be uncomfortable for your boyfriend that your ex was driving you almost every morning and evening. There is a moment of silence before Bastien speaks up again.

“No, no. I rather you go with him, it’s safer too.” There’s a part of you that doesn’t really believe him but you decide that it’s better not to say anything. “Just text me when you get home and stuff yeah?” He asks and you give him a nod just as a phone call is coming in.

“I’m gonna go babe, I love you.” You promise, waiting for him to say it back before you’re picking up Carlos’ call, swinging your bag over your shoulder.

“Ay, ay, vamos. We’re gonna be late again.” Carlos says as soon as the line connects. You roll your eyes, walking to the elevator.

“Piss off, we were only late once. I’ll be down in less than five.” You promise, hanging up before he says anything else. By the time you get to the lobby Carlos is not even there, which only makes you scoff in feigned annoyance and disbelief.

As soon as Carlos pulls up you open the back door to drop your bag there before you’re slipping in the passenger seat.

“You were definitely not here yet.” You tell the Spanish driver as you pull the seat belt on. He seems unfazed as he grins at you, tapping his steering wheel with his fingers before looking over you. You can’t help but smile at the way he’s looking at you, getting you to playfully roll his eyes, the sudden annoyance you felt towards Bastien gone.

“Buenos dias,” Good morning, Carlos says with a grin, and he’s like this every morning, obnoxiously happy and filled with too much energy. Your eyelids are still heavy, but in your defence Carlos’ mornings started much earlier than yours as he was usually packed with workouts, training, and other things.

“Morning,” You say, letting out a sigh as you lean back on the chair. “Thanks for picking me up.” You say with a smile. Carlos nods, humming as he changes gears.

“No worries. I got you coffee.” He says nodding to the Starbucks cup in the cupholder. You look over it sceptically, always being overly picky about your coffee. Before you say anything though Carlos is chipping in, pulling out of the driveway as he speaks. “Don’t worry- it has almond milk with cinnamon and less sugar.” He says, not even glancing over at you as he focuses on turning into the main road. You’re a bit surprised that he remembers your order but you simply murmur a thanks and take a sip, hoping it would help your morning become a little bit more bearable.

“Are you excited for the unveiling?” You ask Carlos, setting your cup of coffee back on the cup holder. He’s focused on the road, humming softly as he thinks about the question.

“Yeah, yeah. I am really excited to be honest. It’s always cool to have something that you’ve worked on announced- and we’re so close to testing and for the season to start.” he says quickly glancing over to you before looking back at the road. “What about you? It’s your first time.” He chuckles, slowly stopping the car as you reach a red light. He turns his body slightly towards you, waiting for your answer and you give him a nod.

“I’m really excited actually.” You laugh softly. “I find it so cool that I’m finally on the other side of it. I remember waiting and having countdowns on my phone for all the unveilings.” You say smiling at him. “I am a bit bummed that we chose valentine’s day though.” You say a bit sheepishly. “My boyfriend’s coming over and I was supposed to take the day off.” Carlos shifts his attention to the road again as the light switches to green and there is a short silence as the car starts to move.

“You can always take the day off.” Carlos suggests with a smirk, knowing you wouldn’t and you shake your head, just proving his point.

“No way in hell I am missing seeing the whole thing in person. What if I never get to see it again?” You ask but Carlos just chuckles.

“Oh please, this definitely won’t be your last one.” He says it with conviction which makes you smile. “But, you can always invite him. Think you might be able to bring a guest no?” Carlos says and you give him a small shrug.

“I’m gonna ask but I don’t think he wants to go. He doesn’t care about these things.” You echo your boyfriend’s words from earlier and you can see Carlos stop himself from frowning too deeply and you fiddle with your bracelet.

“What do you mean? It’s important to you ” He states plainly, “He should care that you care about it no?”

You don’t really have an answer to that so you decide to just shrug, this time shifting your attention to the street, suddenly uncomfortable with the shift of the conversation. Carlos seems to pick up on this because he quickly changes the topic about how he had gone golfing with Lando the day before and how the younger boy was still horrible at it still. You appreciate the change and you easily go with it, leaving the thought of Bastien behind.

--------------------

Bastien arrives the night before the unveiling and you’re ecstatic to see him again as you hadn’t seen him in almost two months which is the longest you both had been apart. The moment you see him exit the arrival gate you’re rushing to him and giving him the biggest hug. You can’t stop smiling until you get to your apartment with him, and it’s all good until you wake up the next morning.

“Where are you going?” You’re already half dressed when Bastien wakes up, but you had already woken up late from staying up with Bastien.

“Sorry babe. I told you I had to go to work this morning.” You say softly, coming close to give him a quick kiss. You pull away to see Bastien frowning still. “I was going to wake you up right before I left to say goodbye. Carlos is already waiting for me downstairs.” You explain, giving him another kiss.

Bastien gives you a nod, looking over you. “We’re still going to the showcasing?” Bastien asks and you nod as you put on your shirt properly.

“I thought we agreed to go last night.” You say, eyes meeting his. It’s clear that he wants to argue, already sitting up.

“I just think it’s nicer if we do something else.” He says and you let out a small sigh.

“I told you I took the day off tomorrow.” You say softly, looking over him.

“Well, tomorrow isn’t Valentine’s day.” He says and it's killing you how inflexible he was being. Of course valentine’s day was a nice day to celebrate but for you what mattered is that you both were together.

“Bastien, I have to go. I don’t have time to argue” You say, pocketing your phone, feeling slightly annoyed that you were having the same argument for what felt like the hundredth time. You’re turning to take your things when Bastien butts in again.

“Never pegged you to be the one to put work before relationships.” He says which stops you at your tracks.

“You’re joking.” You murmur, starting to feel your patience draw thin. “I’ve joined so many of your work things even though it’s not really my thing, and you used to postpone our dates all the time.” You say, remembering all the business events you joined during your last year of university. It was nice, and you got free food, but you could care less about all the finance speakers you had to sit through.

“It’s different.” Bastien argues which makes you roll your eyes. Your phone is vibrating as a call comes in, a reminder that Carlos was waiting downstairs.

“It really isn’t.” You say, already done with the conversation.

“What time do you need me to show up later?” Bastien asks, more annoyed than anything else. There’s this tone in his voice that you suddenly find aggravating, and you’re unsure if you even want him there anymore.

“I’ll come home first and then we can go together, ” You’re already grabbing your bags, your phone is vibrating once more, Carlos calling you for the second time already. “I really need to go.” You don’t even sound apologetic this time. “Have fun and keep me updated with what you do. I really need to go. I love you.”

The day is busy and you don’t even realise Bastien hadn’t texted you until you text him to let him know you’re on the way home. You don’t think much of it as you’d talk to him when you got home. You’re tired from running around so the argument from the earlier morning is at the back of your mind. Only until you find yourself home by yourself, Bastien nowhere to be seen.

You text him thrice before you call him countless times after. Hours pass and you need to get ready to go to the venue and you’re starting to feel sick. You had no clue where Bastien was, and you were starting to get worried, not even getting ready as you waited on your couch with your legs pressed against your chest. It’s only half an hour before the event when you get a response from him and the words leave you stunned.

‘Bumped into a friend, i’ll see you later tonight. Enjoy the event. Xxx’

You’re out of it when you arrive at the unveiling. Thankfully you’re not late as the doors had opened before the unveiling. You ask your taxi to drop you off at the front of the gates, not minding much to have to walk a bit once you notice the slight traffic. Tom had managed to get you a guest seat but you’re dreading going in to sit by yourself, but something in the corner of your vision catches your eyes. There are several fans there, clearly there in hopes to catch quick glimpses of anybody coming or leaving. You can’t help but walk up to them.

“Hey, are you here for the announcement?” You’re almost by the entrance and the girl is by herself, clearly nervous. She’s dressed up with a McLaren shirt and she’s holding a hat too. There are others around but most seem to be in groups.

“Yeah, are you too?” She asks before she’s looking over you. You were dressed up quite nicely, wanting to show the part of being a guest. For a second you doubt if it's okay or not but you’re wanting to do a nice gesture.

“Actually I am, what’s your name?” You ask softly. The introductions are quick and you learn that she’s been following McLaren for years and that she had been supporting Carlos since his Renault years too. You’re endeared, seeing a bit of you in her and you even feel a bit excited as you speak. “I wanted to ask if you wanted to join inside?” You offer. The girl’s eyes go wide and she looks at you in disbelief.

“My boyfriend couldn’t make it, so I have an extra ticket.” You smile and she’s quickly nodding, speechless.

“Thank you so much.” She says as you both start walking. When you get to the entrance you’re flashing your tickets and there is a slight hesitation from the security guard until you show him your company badge too and before you know it you’re in.

Tom was a gem but he wasn’t a miracle worker so you both had to sit somewhere in the back, but the excitement was buzzing from you both. A big part of you was disappointed that Bastien wasn’t there but seeing somebody else as excited as you warmed a small part in your chest.

The unveiling goes smoothly, and you can’t help but smile when Carlos and Lando come into the light, soon sharing some words as well. The car looks beautiful and the thought of seeing it on track soon and racing had you buzzing. Everybody seemed just as excited, most people leaning on the edge of their seats. All your work felt more real now and the season was starting soon, and you felt impatient for the season to kick off.

You chat softly with Jess the whole time, soon explaining a bit what you did and explaining to her that you were part of the team. Once everybody starts to disperse and get out of their seats you offer her to walk up to Lando and Carlos, giving her a warning that it might take a bit of time to be able to get to them since they were probably going to be busy with all the sponsors and guests. It’s when you’re both getting up for your seats when you notice that Carlos and Lando are actually walking up to you both. They both look a bit confused when they spot Jess next to you but they smile at her anyways, greeting and introducing themselves.

“Oh my god. Hi- it’s really cool to finally meet you both. I’ve always been the biggest McLaren fan.” She says with a wide smile before explaining that you had invited her in. The boys simply grin and nod, you give them both a nudge with a marker and soon they’re signing her things.

“It was nice meeting you and thanks for following us! I hope we can make this an exciting season.” Carlos grins at her before turning to you. “We gotta run to Zak before he tells us off for sneaking off but we’ll meet a bit later yeah?” Carlos asks, already nudging Lando to follow along as they both begin to walk off. You give them a quick smile and nod before you turn to Jess who’s again thanking you profusely.

You hang around with Jess up until the end of the event, introducing her to some other colleagues that you bumped along the way. You might have said a white lie or two that Jess was your friend and a big fan, just in case you’d get in trouble for technically bringing a stranger, but thankfully nobody questions it too much.

You end up exchanging your contact information with her before you’re heading off to the back, deciding to help with some things since you had the time anyways. Tom catches you just as you’re slipping into the back of the auditorium.

“What are you doing here hm? You’re not supposed to work.” he scolds playfully and you can’t help but give a sheepish laugh.

“I wanted to help out and Lando and Carlos told me to meet up with them after.” You explain before telling Tom a lie about how your boyfriend wasn’t feeling well to come. “But I brought a friend, I hope that’s okay.” You say with a smile and Tom rolls his eyes, saying of course. You hear a door from down the hall open and you look over when you hear somebody speak up.

“Ah, there you are.” Lando says, still in his racing suit as he walks towards you with a grin. Tom is soon excusing himself, saying that he had to work on something. “Where’s your boyfriend?” Lando asks once Tom’s out. You shrug with a small smile just as Carlos peaks into the hallway, he’s also still in his racing suit. As soon as he comes up to you both he’s echoing the same question as Lando.

“He wasn’t in the mood to join.” You shrug, “Don’t know where he is.” You say, trying your best to hide the annoyance wash over you at the reminder that he had ditched you. Carlos is looking at you like he wants to say something but he stays silent, and your eyes linger a bit on him but Lando is soon speaking up.

“Carlos and I were planning to grab food. Do you wanna join?” Lando offers.

The Spanish driver is quick to butt in. “You don’t have plans after with your boyfriend?” He asks sceptically and you shake your head. Carlos raises his brow slightly before nodding, “Okay, you’re joining then. And I’m not taking no for an answer.”

You wait for both guys to change into their clothes before you’re heading to the parking space with them. They’re rattling on about having to talk to too many sponsors and guests and you can’t help but smile, shaking your head in amusement.

“So who am I hitching a ride from?” You ask when you realise they both had driven to the office. Lando is quick to take the responsibility, wanting to prove that he was a better driver than Carlos.

“Not true, but I’ll drop you off later, yeah?” Carlos says as he’s going to his car. You give him a nod before you’re heading to Lando, already teasing him to not crash the car and to make sure you both made it to dinner.

Funnily enough dinner ends up in the park. The guys had not thought about the date so they hadn’t reserved any table and of course Valentine’s day only meant one thing, most places were packed to the brim. You had suggested McDonalds and the two had grinned, looking at each other and agreeing that it was a good evening to have a cheat day.

“Can’t believe every single restaurant we called and drove to was full.” Lando says as he sits on the table’s bench, swinging his leg over it to settle down next to you. Carlos is sitting across you both, already digging through his McDonald’s bag.

“I mean, it is valentine’s day. It’s one of the busiest days.” You chuckle, “You two should’ve thought it through.” you jokingly tease, already grabbing one of your fries.

“I’m sorry- last time I celebrated valentine’s day I think I just spent it at home with my ex.” Lando says defensively, his hands are up and you can’t help but roll your eyes at him. “Do you always reserve for valentine’s?” he asks you and you give him a smirk.

“Never had to do the reservation. One of the only privileges of being a girl.” You joke, sticking your tongue out. Lando scoffs but murmurs a makes sense before he’s turning to Carlos.

“When’s the last time you celebrated Valentine’s?” He asks Carlos in between bites of his food. Carlos looks at him before instinctively looking at you.

“Really? That’s the last time?” You ask quite surprised, not managing to bite back your tongue, Carlos scowls at your reaction. You bite the inside of your cheek but that doesn’t stop you from letting out a laugh, “Sorry, I’m just surprised, really.” You laugh softly.

“What’s so surprising about that?” Carlos groans and Lando is stifling a laugh too. You shake your head but Carlos nudges you under the table with his foot. “Come on now. Tell me!” He insists and you’re laughing again.

“I don’t know. You’re an F1 driver now, you’re good looking, funny, why wouldn’t you be going out on Valentine’s day?” You question, smiling at him. You hold eye contact for a second before Carlos is looking down at his food. The lights in the park are quite dimmed and a part of you wonders whether Carlos was blushing or not, but you don’t play around with that thought too much.

“You weren’t surprised when I said I haven’t been on a Valentine’s date in a while.” Lando says, clearly too offended to notice Carlos’ change in demeanour. You laugh at his comment and you’re shaking your head.

“I didn’t mean it that way and you know it.” You state with a smile before focusing back on your food.

“So,” Lando starts off after a beat of silence. “What did you guys do for valentine’s? Apart from Carlos making the reservations?” he asks, still not letting the topic go. You think Carlos is about to tell him to shut up but Carlos looks at you with furrowed eyebrows.

“Which one was the last one?” He asks, thinking as he scratches his chin. “Was it when we went on that boat dinner?” Carlos asks curiously and you need to think for a second before you’re nodding.

“Yeah- it was after your announcement in Toro Rosso.” You say, resting your chin on your hand. It was nice, you both had taken a trip to the caribbean and spent a few days there.

“I booked that dinner like two months in advance just to be sure.” Carlos chuckles before looking at Lando. “It was nice, but expensive.” He says before thinking a bit more. “It was worth it though, we stayed the night in the boat no?.” Carlos says and you give him a nod as confirmation.

The rest of the dinner is nice, but there is a small nagging voice inside your head, wondering where Bastien was. You check your phone a bit too many times in hopes to get a text but it’s radio silent, you find yourself talking a lot, wanting to distract yourself and to push Bastien to the back of your mind and it kind of works. Time passes and before you know it you’re getting into Carlos’ car, putting on your seatbelt as you shift a bit. You had thanked Lando for asking you to join and told him to drive safely before he had headed off to his own car.

“God I am so full. I always eat too much.” You say, resting your hands on your belly, you’re trying to fill the silence, it was late and you didn’t want to let your mind wander. Carlos on the other hand is quiet and you look over him, curious about his silence. “Thanks for driving me home” You say just as he is starting the car. The lack of answer makes you nervous and you shift a bit in your seat.

“Are you okay?” Carlos finally replies and the question catches you a bit off guard. You look back at him, tilting your head slightly.

“What do you mean?” You ask.

“I mean, you told me Bastien had agreed to join and he didn’t” He says, not making a move to pull out the car. You feel a bit nervous now, having thought that the conversation had been left behind in the office.

“He wasn’t in the mood so he texted me that he changed his mind.” You say, hoping it was truthful enough. You’re waiting for Carlos to pull out of the parking spot but he doesn’t. Instead he takes the opportunity to turn to you a bit more, wanting to face you properly.

“He texted you?” Carlos asks, a bit confused. You shift a bit in your seat, looking at him properly as well.

“He wasn’t home when I got there to get ready so,” Your voice is a bit softer this time and Carlos looks more than unimpressed.

“Okay.” he says before turning to look ahead of him again, this time changing gears to pull out from parking. “I’m here if you wanna talk about it, or if you’re not comfortable, talk to Lando, or any of your friends.” Carlos murmurs, glancing over to you again. “Don’t keep things to yourself too much. I know you tend to do that.” Carlos says with a small smile before he’s driving you home.

It’s not that you don’t want to answer but you don’t really have the words. The silence in the car is ringing in your ears and you can’t help but finally let the bitterness and hurt settle in your chest. You blame it on being tired, or on Carlos’ words but you feel your eyes get glossy as he reaches the road. You look up, wanting to stop your eyes from overflowing. It’s embarrassing really (and a bit pathetic, you think), crying over your boyfriend in front of your ex.

You’re frustrated more than anything, not knowing why Bastien had decided to ditch at the last minute. It was understandable that he wasn’t into motorsports or racing but you couldn’t comprehend why he couldn’t make a small effort to go for you. You had supported him in everything and it was starting to hurt that you didn’t feel like the effort was returned. Were you doing something wrong?

Carlos doesn’t say anything for a while, simply putting on the radio as you quietly wipe your cheeks.“I’m sorry,” You murmur after a bit, trying your best to recollect yourself.

“You’re okay. Did you forget how much you used to cry in front of me?” Carlos teasigly says and you roll your eyes, wiping your cheeks.

To be fair he was right. Even before you two had dated he had been your closest friend. The amount of times he had seen you cry about boys, your family, school (or anything really) were endless. You hated crying by yourself and the moment Carlos had discovered this he had always tried to be there.

He would always take you on drives, following the road as long as he could to let you cry it out. Most times he was quiet, whilst other times he was cursing off whoever had upset you with you.

You don’t remember the last time you’ve cried like this. You had been so busy after moving and as always your family barely had time to catch up with you. Bastien was always busy and your calls were usually catch ups about the day, but it was hard to talk to him about your feelings as he was quick to say that it was going to be okay and to dwell on things too much. All your friends were also busy with their own internships or work so hadn’t had any time to properly speak or think about how you were feeling.

There’s a weird new feeling mixing in your chest and it takes you a moment to realise what it is.

You’re watching Carlos drive as you let out sniffles and continue wiping your cheeks. You missed your best friend.

The thought of it only makes you tear up more so recollecting yourself doesn’t really happen and you’re dreading having to go home to a probably empty apartment like this. “How far are we?” You ask quietly and Carlos simply shrugs.

“As far as you need us to be.” he says and you look at him quietly before nodding and looking back at the road.

You don’t really say anything back but you know you don’t need to.

fin.

read chapter six here

a/n: helloooo hope you enjoyed. what do you guys think? did bastien have the right to be upset? did that mean it was okay for him to ditch? are we happy to see carlos and reader connecting again?? also please feel free to leave constructive criticism and your thoughts, it really helps <3 i'll try my best to update by next week.

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