#i fell down a rabbit hole i'm sorry

[masterofrecords]

The Ravages of Time episode 1

Oooookay, I did a thing.

Well, not yet – so far I’ve done 3/16 of a Thing, but I think that’s enough to start posting it.

As I have mentioned several times on this blog, I’m watching “The Ravages of Time” donghua. There are official subs, but they don’t cover everything – notably, song lyrics and the cards with background information at the end of each episode remained a mystery. I like mysteries and I like digging into Chinese history. I’m sure you can figure out my problem.

The thing is that some of those cards are abridged versions of excerpts from ancient chronicles. Most of these texts have no English translations available. Those are hard to translate, even for professionals (which I am far from) – as you’d expect from over a thousand year old books.

Luckily, most cards only reference the chronicles and are written in modern Chinese.

Most references in these cards are for “The Records of the Three Kingdoms” and occasionally to “The Romance of the Three Kingdoms” – a fictionalized version of the same events – and “The Book of the Later Han” which describes the events and personas of the period predating the Three Kingdoms (Dong Zhuo rose to power in 189 and was dead in 192 (sorry for the almost 2000-year-old spoilers), while the Three Kingdoms period officially started in 220).

Episode 1

T/N: The original title for the manhua/donghua is “Fiery Phoenix Scorches the Plains”

Scorched plains afterword: “The Records of the Three Kingdoms”, one of the Twenty-Four Histories [1], written by the West Jin dynasty historian Chen Shou, records the events of the Cao Wei, Shu Han and Eastern Wu states of the Three Kingdoms period, presented as a series of biographies and dynastic histories, and is considered the most famous of the Early Four Historiographies [2]. If you persevere and finish reading “The Records of the Three Kingdoms”, you will find that “The Romance of the Three Kingdoms” has many fabricated events. In fact, almost none of the literary works about the Three Kingdoms period are based on real historical records. Each author’s perspective leads to their art being created in their own versions of the Three Kingdoms. – Mou [3]

[1] dynastic histories from remote antiquity until Ming dynasty

[2] Those include The Records of the Grand Historian, The Book of Han, The Book of the Later Han, The Records of the Three Kingdoms

[3] I’m assuming referring to Chen Mou, the author of “The Ravages of Time” manhua

---------

“The Ravages of Time” is also very much fabricated. A lot of the main characters are made-up, for one; but even regarding the general events of the story, a lot of it couldn’t have happened the way it did. (I still love the donghua though! Not to mention that there is a looong history of historical fiction in China that plays very loose with historical events. See “The Romance of the Three Kingdoms” again. This is in no way a criticism on my part, I just think this stuff is even cooler when you know the history.) I’ve come across some pretty interesting stuff on these events while researching for these translations, so I might include that in the posts for the relevant episodes. At least, I will for this episode!

Putting this under the read more for spoilers of things that happened 2000 years ago.

The prologue has the narrator describe a man with the surname Cao fearing people with the character “horse” in their name. The surname Cao is that of Cao Cao; surname Sima contains the character for “horse”. Sima Yi, indeed, was the one who had Cao Cao’s descendants lose the throne and be executed.

I’m not sure how accurate the dream is supposed to be – it is, after all, a dream. Either way, I have found no indication that Sima Yi’s death was in any way violent or memorable, or that his last years were marred by any particular madness or cruelty. He did have dreams he found disturbing in those last years when he fell ill – but they were relatively harmless ones of his political rivals being celebrated. So, if it is meant to be prophetic, it is fictional.

Remnant army also doesn’t seem to be based on any real organization.

Dong Zhuo entered Luoyang in 189. At that time, Sima Yi would be about 10 years old. Along with his older brother Sima Lang (around 18) and the rest of his family he lived in Luoyang; they only moved to Henei after Dong Zhuo started making plans to relocate to Chang’an. Due to that fact, the entire Henei storyline is understandably fictional.

Xu Lin is a completely made-up character. Whatever, he dies in the very first episode. Same for Zhao Xian (Liaoyuan Huo’s “adopted father”).

We briefly see Sima Yi’s younger siblings playing ball. Sima Yi was the second of eight brothers, nicknamed “Eight Das” because all of their courtesy names ended with the same character (Zhongda for Sima Yi, Boda for Sima Lang).

#masterofrecords translates #the ravages of time #i knoooow that i promised aquarium stuff #i fell down a rabbit hole i'm sorry #i spent so many hours translating dong zhuo's biography blurb

[gottagobackintime]

Music (and movies) and queerness in Ted Lasso. Particularly in relation to Ted (and Trent)

I want to start with a line from the show that contains the word music.

“If music be the food of love, play on. Give me excess of it.” Said by Mae to Ted in a scene where a few moments later Trent walks up to him after leaving his date to go talk to him. It’s a quote from the VERY queer Shakespeare play “Twelfth Night”. The line implies that the speaker wants to be fed more, to the point of it making them sick so that they won’t desire, love in this case, anymore. Because he’s unhappily in love with someone who he can’t have (Michelle?). BUT he falls in love with someone else later. And in the context of Ted Lasso, this line just so happens to be said right before they show us that Trent is there. Ted also answers Mae, not by asking if she’s asking him if he wants more but “If that’s your fancy way of asking if I want another one, you guessed right”.Another love?And according to James Lance, it was when he was on his way to film this scene that he found out that Trent is gay and that he is “with that guy” as he himself puts it. A man who has a moustache very similar to Ted’s and wears similar clothes.

(Also, this happens in season 2 episode 7. In season 3, episode 7 Ted talks about the red string/thread of fate myth while Trent wears a red bracelet and they are connected by red several times and season 3, episodes 7 and 11 are connected via “You’ve got Mail”, the opening scene in episode 7 being a “tribute” to the movie, and there are other smaller references. And the team, and Trent, watching the movie in episode 11. AndTrent also wears the bracelet in episode 11, an episode I’ll bring up later in this post).

Now, let us get to the music.

Bruce Springsteen If you google “Bruce Springsteen queer” you get a lot of results discussing queerness in his songs and so on, so to put him in this post is a must.

Bruce Springsteen is brought up by Dottie in season 3 episode 11. She tells Trent about the time Ted got onstage and danced with Bruce Springsteen (which turns out to be a lie) but the connection to Springsteen is still there, because Ted did get onstage with a Bruce Springsteen cover band and sang with them. So, we’ve established a connection between Ted (and Trent) and Bruce Springsteen.

Let’s connect it to something else that happened in the episode. They watch “You’ve Got Mail” starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan (I’ll come back to “You’ve Got Mail” later, the important part here is Tom Hanks). Ted states that the superior Nora Ephron/Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan movie is “Sleepless in Seattle”,a movie about a reporter falling for a single dad simply because of the way he talks about things and what he talks about. He brings the movie up twice, once to say that it’s superior and once telling someone to watch it. Now what does “Sleepless in Seattle” have to do with Bruce Springsteen? “Sleepless in Seattle” came out in 1993, as did “Philadelphia” a movie about a gay man played by Tom Hanks. Springsteen made a song called “Streets of Philadelphia”, specifically for this movie. A bit farfetched? Eh, perhaps, but I’m including it anyway.

So, in this episode Trent, a gay man, is told by Ted’s mum that Ted once went onstage with Bruce Springsteen and that’s the story he needs to confirm straight away. He practically skips towards Ted’s office to ask about it. Why that story? Surely she told him about other things too. And he heard the stories she told the team. But this was the story he was excited to get confirmed. A story about Ted’s connection to an artist that has several queer connections and who can also be connected to something else that is brought up in the episode.

Queen Let’s get the obvious out of the way. Their lead singer was queer.

And I talked about Fat Bottomed Girls and Queen/Freddie/Brian in THIS post. And I talk a little bit about the connection between Ted and Freddie Mercury in THIS post.

Queen has been used a lot throughout “Ted Lasso”, a lot more than I remembered. When I went back to look at the soundtrack for season 1 and 2, I found quite a few Queen songs. I also discovered that two of the trailers for season 2 had Queen songs in the background. “Under Pressure” (which also features David Bowie, another queer artist) and “We Will Rock You”.

Ted talks about having watched Queen at Live Aid on TV when he was younger, in season 2, episode 8 (that episode is called “Man City”, Ted mentions both Queen and Freddie Mercury. Season 3 episode 11 is called “Mom City” and Freddie Mercury is brought up again and a Queen song plays.) “Tear It Up” plays in season 2, episode 2 “We Are the Champions” plays in season 2, episode 9 “Fat Bottomed Girls” are both mentioned and played in season 3, episode 11 And, while not a Queen song, “Fought & Lost” by Sam Ryder featuring Brian May is also played in season 3, episode 11.

But let’s focus on “Fat Bottomed Girls”. Now, I’ve already talked about it in THIS post, that I also linked above. So, I won’t go over all that again. But a little recap, “Fat Bottomed Girls” is linked to “Bicycle Race” which is sometimes seen as a metaphor for being bi. They were both on the same single and they reference each other. The song is brought up by Higgins when he tells Keeley and Rebecca that Freddie, when he briefly owned Richmond in 1980, tried to make that song Richmond’s song but that it didn’t work. Rebecca then brings up that her dad went to art school with Freddie and that according to him if you would have asked Freddie what his greatest talent was, he would have said “flipping straights”.

We’ve already established Ted’s connection to Queen. And we’ve heard Ted refer to himself as straight just a few episodes ago (episode 7, and I’ve already pointed out the connection between episodes 7 and 11, this is another connection) now we get to hear Rebecca say that Freddie Mercury’s biggest talent was “flipping straights”. Ted is, as far as I know, and I’ve checked, the only person who refers to himself as straight, in the whole show. Not a single other character does that. Once in the Christmas special, once in season 3, episode 7, that’s two times. Will the rule of three apply here? Will he say that he’s straight a third time or will he subvert expectations or if you will, flip the script and say that he’s something else?

Dolly Parton Trent has worn a Dolly Parton shirt twice. Dolly Parton is a queer icon. In season 3, episode 11 Beard feels the need to call dibs on Dolly’s part in “Islands in the Stream” at karaoke. Implying that Ted perhaps snags that part for himself a lot of the time. Ted then walks away singing “Islands in the Stream”. Yet another queer connection between Trent and Ted via music.

Harry Nilsson/ (Judy Garland) Back to “You’ve got Mail”. The last scene of “You’ve got mail” ends with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan meeting up and they kiss while Harry Nilsson’s cover of “Somewhere over the Rainbow” plays in the background. We’re shown that scene, not just by witnessing the characters watching it, but by it filling our own screen for a while. “Somewhere over the Rainbow” is of course from “The Wizard of Oz” originally, sung by Judy Garland. A queer icon. The connection to “The Wizard of Oz” and Ted Lasso has been brought up before. But in this episode, it’s very front and centre. Ted is standing at “The Wizard of Oz” pinball machine, staring at the spinning house. And of course, Ted’s connection to Kansas is always there. And it’s brought up in a very important way this episode, with his mother more or less telling him he should go home to Kansas.

So, we have a well-established connection between Ted and Kansas and “The Wizard of Oz”. Let’s talk more about Judy Garland, Dorothy, the original singer of “Somewhere over the Rainbow”. As I mentioned above, Judy Garland was and is a queer icon. And “The Wizard of Oz” was and is a big part of the queer community. Then we have the “Friend of Dorothy” euphemism, a way to recognise other queer people, and it’s strongly associated with Judy Garland’s Dorothy. In episode 11 we are introduced to Ted’s mother, Dottie, which is a nickname/shortening of Dorothy. Another very clear queer connection to Ted.

And let us also look at James Lance who has said that there is a story arc for Trent’s shirts. And he wore a t-shirt with Dorothy’s ruby slippers to an event that is connected to Ted Lasso. And when asked why he was wearing that shirt, why he chose to honour Dorothy. It feels like he’s deflecting when he says “Well, every good character’s got to have a good pair of shoes, right. And these are surely, surely,the best pair of shoes in showbiz. So, you know, they get their own t-shirt. There aren’t many shoes to do that.” That’s suspicious. And we now know that James has had a lot of input into Trent’s costume, with him suggesting things and getting a thumbs up a lot of the time. He clearly thinks that clothes are important and can send a message. And he chose to wear a Dorothy shirt to a red carpet. When we now know that the eleventh episode of season three had several heavy references to “The Wizard of Oz”.

And to go back to Harry Nilsson. A song sung by him was on the soundtrack for Midnight Cowboy, starring Dustin Hoffman and Jon Voight, a queer movie. (And let’s remember that Trent himself said that Dustin Hoffman would probably play him in a movie).

Honourable mention

Mumford & Sons/Marcus Mumford

Why would I add Mumford & Sons and Marcus Mumford? Because Marcus Mumford made the theme song to Ted Lasso and the instrumental songs for the soundtrack, they’ve also used both Mumford & Sons and Marcus Mumford songs in the show. And the band have a connection to Jason Sudeikis. He was in the official music video for Mumford & Sons’ song “Hopeless Wanderer”, inthat video he clearly plays a version of Marcus, and he kisses another man in it. I think that deserves an honourable mention.

So, to sum it all up, there is queer subtext in the music and the artists that they mention and play in Ted Lasso, and these are just the ones that I personally can connect to Ted (and Ted/Trent). I don’t know if it is a coincidence, but I feel like there is way too much to just be a coincidence. To borrow part of Trent’s line “Through thousands of imperceptible moments, all leading to their inevitable conclusion.” Number four, that doesn’t even matter (but it actually does), LOVE. Queer love.

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #tedependent #trent crimm #ted/trent #ted x trent #nicole watches stuff #I really hope this post makes sense #this post can be summed up with the words: #started making it had a breakdown... bon appétit #I'm sorry to say that I've literally gone insane #just look at this post #I didn't even mean to make this post #I was just going to make a little gifset about the times they've had Queen in the episodes #because I'm a fan of Queen #and then I fell down the rabbit hole #and I ended up with this #and then I thought hey let's go out with a bang you know #if it truly is the last ever episode of ted lasso next week then let's have some fun #the more I looked the more everything connected #like the things that happen in season 2 and 3 episode 7 #also discovered that in one of the trailers for season 2 they have a shot of trent smiling at ted in the press room #a shot that isn't in the episode #so yeah... um... #I went deep #I really hope you all get some enjoyment out of this post #I put more effort into this post than I did when I tried (and failed) to write a researched paper at uni (that paper made me drop out again

[an-unraveling-unknown]

Hey y'know when you start playing a visual novel game for the funny-sillies and then it turns into a character-building exercise that has you in a hyperfixation chokehold. well

#grmfffmsdwfhkc #the arcana #the arcana game #im hyperfixating again #eewfkshjshdhsj #I just spent half of my french class looking up Australian peacock spiders and if they can exist in a climate akin to the country of Wales #I don't even know at this point but its fun #I'm sorry ms A #OH AND I HAVE SUPER INTERESTING INFORMATION REGARDING LOCATIONS because I fell down a rabbit hole help #actually don't help but still #the apprentice #if anyone's interested I'm willing to ramble about my OC I haVE LORE :DDDDDD #it started as a joke #and now I'm going bonkers bananas up the wall /pos #also spoiling the game for myself by consulting the wiki :'D #but its for the sake of character depth so its fine I think #hey question what in the name of creation is actually up with the wiki #cos it looks like everything has gone haltsies #character building #alright anyways I'm procrastinating I should go #toodle pip

[nutmegegg]

can someone give me an example of a proship ???

#proshipping #proships #antishipping #sorry i fell down a rabbit hole and I'm sooooo confused #it feels like there's way more people here nowadays so maybe someone can help me #I'm really using my time wisely by searching the internet for this but can't find any examples #like what are some common examples #I'm going to thow some out there #darklina #ezria #kaylor #are these problematic enough or are there worse #what about #feylin

[pyjamacryptid]

this hyperfixation on photography really has me in a chokehold because I just fell in love with a vintage 127mm camera at first sight it is so goddamn beautiful I’m gonna propose to it

#i'm turning off my computer and putting away the temptation #i will NOT impulse buy this #no #bad adhd bad sit. stay #i've always loved photography. in that casual hobby way #also because i'm a self-proclaimed memory dragon #but i fell down a rabbit hole of research trying to decide on a cheap reusable p&s #and now i'm here #looking up vintage cameras on etsy #it's so gorgeous #siren camera. a SIREN. #ok ok ok ok going to bed #sorry to my followers and mutuals who had to witness this #i feel like i'm under a love potion #jfc #ren rambles

[etheries1015]

Hello! I love the way you write! Would I be able to request the reactions of some of the twst boys to MC telling them they snore (whether it's true or not)? I think Malleus, Riddle, and Azul would have fun reactions, but anyone you feel like writing would be great! Thank you!

Thank you for the compliment heuheu... much appreciated <3

When they snore

Featuring: Malleus, Riddle, Azul, Rook, Vil

General warnings: Gender neutral reader

Malleus

The moment you told him he snores, he was concerned. Was he troubling you with his sleeping habits? Were you unhappy sleeping with the fae because of this, to the point where it was noticeable? The moment the words left your mouth, he began to word vomit.

"Is that an issue? Is my snoring preventing you from getting a night of good rest? I...Suppose I could sleep elsewhere if it will grant you a full night of sleep.." Que him going down a rabbit hole of solutions, you couldn't get a single word in. Eventually, it came time for classes to begin, to which you hadn't the chance to explain your statement to the panicked fae.

When night fell and it was time for bed, his tail swayed sadly as he stood in the doorway. "I suppose I shall sleep out here, my love," He said, as lightning of vibrant green flashed outside your window.

As he turned his back and began to sulk away, you quickly ran up behind him with a bear hug.

"Malleus, would you stop and listen to me for a second?" You laughed, "When I said you snore, I was going to tell you it was cute. Like an animal snoring lightly. You seem so at peace curled up in bed with your light snoring..."

The lightning went away as fast at it had came, and you felt his tail wrap around your waist as he turned to face you, arms pulling you close.

"Ah...ahem. I apologize for my unbecoming behavior before, then. I...was rather saddened at the thought I caused my beloved to lose well-needed sleep."

He's never been called cute before, but he's also never slept in the same bed with another person. So I suppose there's a first for everything <3

Riddle

Snores like a cat. The first time you had slept in the same room, the first thing you noticed was his high-pitched yet soft snores that were short and far between.

The morning you woke up, the first thing you said was; "Did you know you snore?" Riddle blinks at you a couple times before hitting you with his annoyed face (you know the one.)

"Snoring is perfectly normal," He told you, "It's caused by the rattling and vibration of tissues-"

You got a lecture on the scientific reasoning behind snoring. When he finished defending the nature of his sleeping habits, you finally hit him with the "You snore like a little cat! It's cute!"

His face turns as red as his hair, as always when he becomes flustered.

"W-w-wha- a cat?! How dare you compare me to a cat! I..I am not a cat..."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.." You seemed pretty guilty about upsetting him, he muttered "I suppose I'll let it go..." and moved on.

All in all, as long as you aren't losing sleep because of him, he will forgive you for your previous teasing statements. However, from that day forward, you have noticed his ears take a rosy hue with shy glances your way before he heads to bed...

Azul

"Did you know you snore? Pretty loud, too. Is that like...a merman thing?"

His face turns red IMMEDIATELY. He was so embarrassed. The first time he allows someone to be near him in such a vulnerable state, and he blows it by being a snorer. A loud one, at that.

"Snoring is not common for merfolk! Being under the sea, most don't struggle with such a thing...but I would say being above water, the air that goes through my soft palate-"

Great. Another scientific review on snoring. Only Azul, on the other hand, cannot seem to keep eye contact with you.

"Please don't tell anyone. You must sign on it!"

You spent an hour comforting poor Azul, telling him it's nothing to be ashamed of, and giving him lots of hugs and cuddles. But he still continues to insist you sign a NDA to the information you had uncovered.

He was incredibly shy about having you sleep with him again, yet you managed to convince him. Azul is much more insecure than you may think about his image, however, you always seem to break his walls down.

Although, you did notice he began to wear nose strips at night, with books on sleeping habits and potions to help with snoring...old habits truly die hard.

Give him extra cuddles for the existential crisis you had instilled in your poor octo boyfriend <3

Rook

Oh boy. You had no choice but to tell him. He snores like your average forty-year-old dad. You genuinely lose sleep over it, even waking him up

"Rook, Rook. Honey. Please. I can't sleep. Your snoring is just too much, I'm sorry."

He actually finds it kind of amusing? For some reason? He asks you excitedly to tell him more about the things he does when he's sleeping.

He didn't really take you too seriously until he noticed the physical wear and tear. The bags under your eyes...

"Mon Cheri! Your eyes...have you not been sleeping well?"

"Rook. Your snoring. It's horrendous. Please."

He spends an hour doing EVERYTHING under the sun to help his snoring, for your sake! Moving around how his bed is set up, mouth exercises, the way he sleeps...He refuses to use strips, he doesn't like how they feel, and says it prevents his senses from being at their 100%.

He finds a way to help alleviate it, and you end up investing in some sleep time headphones. You make it work, because dealing with his sleeping habits is better than sleeping without him~

Vil

"Did you know you snore?"

He stares at you with his jaw open and his eyes wide. What...what do you mean he snores when he sleeps? Does he sleep with his mouth open? Does he look utterly ridiculous when he sleeps? All of these questions he bombards you with.

"Vil! Vil. I was kidding. I'm sorry. You sleep so quietly that I have to check if you're still alive sometimes. You're like a sleeping statue of perfection."

He was not amused. He almost had a heart attack and invested in the world's most expensive treatments.

Tackles you to the bed and ruffles up your hair, laughter ensuing at your silly little prank.

"Well, it's YOU who snores, potato. You're lucky I let you sleep here and not outside like a dog," He chuckles. He says this, yet you knew he loved you too much to go a single night without you by his side.

A link to my masterlist

#twisted wonderland #Twisted wonderland X reader #twst #twst x reader #twst headcannons #Twisted wonderland headcannons #Malleus #Malleus draconia #Malleus draconia X reader #Rook hunt #Rook hunt x reader #azul ashengrotto #Azul ashengrotto x reader #Riddle rosehearts #Riddle rosehearts x reader #Vil schoenheit #Vil schoenheit X reader

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Can you please do this but with Ruggie and Leona?

Courting Rituals w/ Fem Reader | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

Ruggie Bucci

Mating rituals for hyenas are very…tense

Females are aggressive and violent

For males there's a lot of submission and fear that goes into the mating process

Naturally he’s not supposed to be all that dominant when dating anyway

But you’re so clueless and totally unaware he might have to help you get the hint

There are three things male hyenas typically do

The cautious steps forward and cautious steps back

Spotted hyena males often do something of a nervous start toward the female before running back 

Kind of like a nervous jig that’s a sure fire sign of their intentions

Whether or not the females actually see it they do it

Which rings just as true for Ruggie 

“Oh wow, Ruggie your sharing with me?���

“Yeah don’t get to hung up on it. I’m just being a good senpai.” No he’s not

Or when Ruggie unexpectedly shares some of his food with you

And right after that he doesn’t talk to you for the longest time

Those are his steps but you won’t notice

You’ve got so many friends 

He hates it really

Next is another round of testing the waters

Now this testing of the waters–or more accurately your boundaries

Starts with crossing his legs in front of you

Something he does casually while speaking to you 

Next is the scratching the ground in front of you

Again you just casually brush off the extra time he spends down there tying your shoe

But now that he’s tested the waters he can finally commence with his final act

Presenting and you accepting

Now this wasn’t the olden days unfortunately

Even without your proper knowledge flashing you wasn’t the right display

So he’d take something close to it 

“Ruggie I really appreciate you inviting me to come swimming with you.”

“Nishishishi it’s no problem! You scratch my back I’ll scratch yours.”

And scratch his you will since he’s wearing a tight speedo

And he purposely planned for this after all

Made sure grim and company we’re too busy 

And Leona away on some trip 

Now for your acceptance

Again he has to be slick you’re so far from a typical hyena beast woman 

You just don’t know that bending over and parting your legs is the ultimate sign

The go ahead he needs

“Hey (Y/n), I need your help with something! My goggles fell into this rabbit hole.”

“What why don’t you do it?”

“Heh? I thought you were nice!” 

“Fine fine. Just make sure I don’t fall in the ground looks pretty unstable.”

“But of course!"

He’s holding your waist tight as you  bend over

Its the way it will be from now on

Your his mate now 

And any violence he does in your name is completely justified 

Leona Kingscholar

Lion’s have very basic mating rituals 

That aren’t really worried heavily on being impressive or not 

Its snuffing out competition 

Yes, powerful roars and a large dark mane is just as alluring

But it means nothing if your intended mate is occupied

Like with another male or with a child of another

So that’s what Leona’s worried about

Worried about the way you so easily interrupt your time together to deal with Grim

“Sorry Leona, if I don’t go home now the rest of the night is going to be a nightmare!”

“Then why don’t you stay here, then.”

“Thanks but Grim gets fussy if I'm not there.”

The urge to revert to his ancestor’s behavior is strong

But he’d rather not deal with you fighting him so he’ll invest in making Grim a little ally speedbump

A few plates of gourmet fish and suddenly Grim is willing to mess up any other rivals of his 

And that pleases him….for awhile

But you still mention Grim when you two are talking or cuddling 

It makes him sick

So a deal with Azul or paid underhanded deal and suddenly Grim’s not your problem anymore

And when you come crying to him he’ll soothe you but he won’t feel remorseful

You won’t feel to bad if he gives you a cub or two of your own

#yandere x reader #yandere x you #lovelyyandereaddictionpoint #yanderexrea #yandere #yanderes #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst #yandere twst leona kingscholar #yandere leona kinsscholar #yandere leona twst #yandere leona x reader #yandere leona kingscholar #yandere leona kingscholar x reader #yandere leona #yandere ruggie bucci #yandere ruggie bucchi #yandere ruggie x reader #yandere ruggie twst #yandere ruggie #yandere ruggi bucchi

[idyllcy]

Hey there how about a Damian Wayne x reader fic!!

Mind going through a rabbit hole and kinda wanna have a moment of Damian having girlfriend who can jump through multiverse, maybe she met him accidentally while visiting and bam both fell in love and we see reader staying and only leaving for certain missions

Orrrr…

Damian meeting Wonder Woman Child and then catching feelings! Whole cliche ‘I hate you but secretly I love you’ depends on you!!

freefall - damian wayne x reader

"Oh, fUCK." You slam into the ground underneath you as you step out the portal, frowning when you realize you didn't fall on the cement. Something broke your fall.

"Robin!" Nightwing swings down as you jump off the person who broke your fall.

"Where the hell did you come from?"

"Ohhhh... fuck." You purse your lips. "Is this earth?"

"One of them."

"Mm." You grimace. "Sorry for slamming onto you. I'm, uh, a dimension traveller."

Damian gets a good look at your face, brows pulling into a frown as his cheeks grow dark. You look good. You look too good. One would say...

"Wow..." You catch yourself in the glass of the building. "I look out of this world."

Dick laughs at your joke as you give him a grin.

"You know if I can stay anywhere for the time being? 'kay, even if you don't offer me a place to stay, I'm still going to break into your place since..."

"Do we exist in your universe too?"

You blink slowly at Robin. "Yeah."

"Come on." Nightwing offers a hand to you. "Oracle, we're bringing in a stray from an alternate dimension home."

"I'll let B know."

"You guys are surprisingly calm about this." You blink.

"B's got a thing for picking up strays."

"Fair enough." You smile. "So... Robin?"

"Mm?" He raises a brow at you.

"You single?"

#damian wayne x reader #damian al ghul x reader #damian wayne imagine #damian al ghul imagine #robin x reader #this is like crack laced sorry anon #the other req with ww's child was selected by the wheel so that'll take longer <3

[illustratedartist]

Jervis Tetch A.K.A The MAD HATTER 🎩🫖

OK So someone sent me an ask on here and unfortunately I can't find where it disappeared to-SO I'M VERY SORRY!

This person asked if I could make a reference sheet of my Hatter and share some headcanons, if I had any. I've never really done this before, or even had many headcanons so please bare with me lol. I didn't go into too much detail, Im not really a writer so I just tried to get the main points through.

Down The Rabbit Hole:

Has paranoid schizophrenia, and often hallucinates, especially when stressed. He mostly sees characters from Alice in Wonderland, seeing the Cheshire cat or “Alice” the most.

When very stressed or feel like hes losing control of a situation, he begins to stutter horribly. His words get jumbled in his mind, and thats when he starts reciting quotes or poems from AIW relevant to the situation hes in. Before he became the Mad Hatter, and became a criminal he stuttered constantly while speaking to anyone. 

 Jervis controls people by drugging and hypnotizing them, But the strongest form of mind control he has are the masks he puts on his “Guests”. 

For goons or regular street thugs he manages to get, he mostly uses cards on them instead of wasting materials to make masks for them. Figuring It would be easier than having Batman break them and forcing him to constantly  remake the same ones over and over. 

Also its a chance to call his thugs the “Card Guards” which amuses him.

His goons don’t matter much to him, but if he assigns you a specific character, you are highly important to his “Tea Parties” and are at risk of being forced to attend indefinitely.

 For his “Tea Party” guest list, he has crafted actual masks for them to wear, in correlation to the Character he assigned to each guest. He does make sure the guests are drugged with his special tea before putting the masks on them. Wouldn’t want to risk having you manage to break free of his control during the party! Or ever.

March Hare=Scarecrow, Dormouse= Riddler, White Rabbit= Ventriloquist, Cheshire Cat= Catwoman, The Dodo= Penguin, Mock Turtle= Mr.Freeze, Queen of Hearts= Poison Ivy, The Walrus= Bane, The Jabberwocky= Batman  

He customizes the masks so they even resemble the actual people.

His closest friends are Jonathan Crane, and Edward Nygma, his March Scare and Dorrat.

Jonathan was a psychologist so he knows how to handle Jervis, and can tolerate him for the most part. Edward on the other hand may think Jervis is a useful ally, but he's not nearly as patient with him as Jonathan is. Neither of them like being called by their "nicknames" Jervis gave them.

Jervis fell in love with the woman he had been working with, before he became a criminal, that put everything into motion. Her actual name wasn't Alice, but they both bonded over their fondness for the story, and he started to call her Alice as a fun nickname or inside joke. Though his obsession with her had already begun.

After losing it, and becoming a criminal and kidnapping "Alice" he was defeated by Batman, (Much like how it happened in BTAS). "Alice" fled Gotham after this, but Jervis doesn't know that, and is too far gone to realize that she would leave him. SO he roams the streets of Gotham looking for his beloved "Alice".

OK THAT'S IT! At least these were all I could think of. Obviously my Jervis is heavily based off the Arkham series and BTAS. But I love this little crazy guy.

#jervis tetch #the mad hatter #batman #batman rouges gallery #batman arkham series #batman the animated series #arkhamverse #jonathan crane #edward nygma #oswald cobblepot #arnold wesker #selina kyle #victor freeze #bane #scarecrow #riddler #the penguin #mr. freeze #catwoman #the ventriloquist #pamela isley #poison ivy #alice in wonderland #digital art #fanart #my art #headcanon

[pandorasfavorite]

Kinky smut after reader acts like a brat on RAW

Influenced

AN: NOT ME WRITING REQUESTS FROM MONTHS AGO LMAO. Sorry lovelies.....

AN: I'll probably finish this...but I had to post something yo

Dominik wasn't a demanding boyfriend by any means, honestly, he was really kind and patient. He never asked much of you, so when he did you complied. You originally didn't have the desire to test Dominik's dominance ever, because he's already so good to you there's no need for him to prove anything. However, after falling into a rabbit hole on social media, you were influenced. There were hundred of posts and stories of women being "bratty" toward their sweet boyfriends. Each story ended well...

You were dressed up and ready to go interrupt the beginning of Monday Night Raw. Dominik was wearing his black gear (that drove you wild) and a shirt draped in front of his pants. From the moment you walked in the dressing room Dominik's expression lit up. His arms fell open and he completely neglected the conversation he was in before. You approach him and give him a quick hug and a peck on the lips. You are an inch apart from him, smiling up at him and grabbing his hands in yours. "Hey babe, you ready?", he looks over your outfit (his tongue slides over his lips quickly). You bat your eyelashes at him and hum as an answer.

You drop one of Dominik's hands and your eyes focus on the shirt that is hanging in front of his pants. It annoyed you a bit how he covered up the thing you liked looking at... you smack the shirt and it flies up. "Why are you wearing this?", you question him in a displeased voice. Dominik notices the attitude in your voice and you smacking the shirt was out of the blue -- even for you. Dominik furrows his eyebrows a bit at the behavior but lets it go un-noticed. He simply just grabs your hand in his and brings it to his mouth to kiss.

You pull the same hand out of his grasps again and you smack the shirt again, scowling at the useless thing. Being a brat was fairly easy when you had something to not like. This time though Dominik wasn't as happy, his face pulls into the sexy angry frown that shows so often on TV. He taps your cheek with his finger in order for you to look up at him, "Stop that".

"Stop what?", you smack his shirt one more time, just cause. Dominik grabs your wrist lightly, pulling it away from the shirt. "You know what cut it out. I'm serious". You stop, for now, the best way to work his nerves is to continuously stay on top of this. To calm him down you lift up to kiss his lips, and his body relaxes instantly. His hand finds its way to the back of your head pulling you in for a deeper kiss that makes your stomach do flips. He pulls back with his boyish grin and holds your hand as he walks out the door with you.

-------------------------------------------------------------

It's important to note that Dominik (while he is very patient), he is a very jealous man. All his patience flies out of the window when the jealousy filters in. In fact, his jealousy is so bad some nights after Raw he has to push you up against the wall and shove his fingers inside of you just to hear you moan his name. You were going to take advantage of that weakness to get what you want, after all it's the easiest way.

All 5 of you step out into the darkness with your heads down, then the lights turn on. Every night you fight the urge to squint your eyes from the blinding light. Dominik's arm is around your waist and he takes you with him, every step of the way. It was a 3 v 3 match with the boys against another group of three. You and Rhea were positioned outside of the ring to make an appearance and distract the ref if it came down to that. As the match started so did your bratty behavior...

One of the opponents was looking at you from his spot on the outside of the ropes, you waved to him with a seductive smile. Dominik watched the interaction and his face was downcast in anger, so much so his knuckles were turning white from the grip he had on the ropes. His eyes followed you as you skipped around the ring, and interacted with fans in the front row. You were always the most friendly out of all the members of the group.

Again the same guy was watching you, sizing you up, and he went as far as motioning for you to come up to him. Dominik is radiating heat and he is scowling without the desire to hide it, Damian notices the interaction and he instantly taps him in. Dominik walks around the ring and points to the guy that you were 'flirting' with. The rest was history. Dominik starts with the guy not letting up on any of his hits. You could tell even after the match was won and finished Dominik was righteously heated. He met you in the middle of the walk way and instantly thrown his arm over your shoulders, pulling you into his side so he could kiss your head while he was looking back at that stupid guy.

Though he may not seem all that mad to the blind eye, Dominik's clenched jaw and screwed-up face say otherwise. After a short goodbye the Judgement Day dispersed in different directions, leading to Dominik steering you into the Judgement Day dressing room that you know so well. He opens the door for you and then shuts and locks it behind him rather loudly. He runs a hand down his face before taking a step closer to you. Your chests are on the verge of touching and Dominik's hands are twitching as if he's itching to take action. But he'd never do anything without having a conversation first.

"What was that out there?", he takes a heavy breath trying to speak calmly towards you. "What do you mean?", you bat your eyelashes and feign innocence. Dominik's head tilts back and he chuckles at the blatant disregard for the obvious, "You know what you were doing out there, don't pretend you don't". His chest is puffed up and he's looking at you with such displeasure but his eyes say something different. His gaze is intense and makes your legs feel wobbly. Honestly, it's making you a bit nervous and it's intimidating in a way you didn't mind embracing, "I don't know what you're talking about" you squeak out.

Dominik acts fast; pulling right up against him by the belt loops. His lips are hovering just over yours and you can feel his deep breathing of frustration fanning across your cheeks. "Say it", he said in a deep raspy command, the words sent a shock down to your core. Your heart is racing out of your chest and if it wasn't for the desire you were feeling in that moment, Dominik would have to scoop you up off the floor. You raise your chin up in defiance at him, crossing your arms over your chest, "Make me".

Dominik's hands fly to your waist and he spins you around, pushing your body with the back of his to move you forward. He walks you over to the back of the couch and bends you over it by the waist. His hands then brush your hair to one side of your face, now he has a perfect view of your star-struck expression that he yearned for. Dominik leans in close to you, his teeth now poking out as he grins, "You've been a brat all fucking day", he recalls. He pulls your pants down to your mid-thighs, just enough for him to spread your legs a bit and slip two fingers inside of you.

The moment he pumps his fingers in and out of you, curling them inside of you every time your breathing picks up, you feel your legs shake. His fingers are soaking wet and knuckle deep inside of you, and the tent in his pants only gets more defined when he hears the squelch your pussy makes. Your wetness was beginning to drip down the side of your thighs and Dominik mentally had to block out the idea of getting on his knees and licking it up, so nothing goes to waste. You hum in delight at the increasing feeling that you loved approaching, Dominik noticed your tell tales and refused to hide the fact that he knew.

"You really think you're going to get to cum? After acting like a brat all day? Just because you wanted to be my cock slut". You gasped at the filthy words flying so carelessly from his mouth, but also from the way he spits directly on your cunt after pulling his fingers away. You try to reply but your words come up short as you feel his large hands sliding down the back of your thighs. His skilled hands pull your thighs apart even further so he can have room to bring his face directly against your pussy. The feeling of his nose bumping against your clit and his smile that you so clearly can point out has you moaning out to him, "Baby please- m'sorry". You gave in, being a brat was hard when your man knew how to please so well.

You feel the way he laughed and shook his head in disbelief, he completely ignores you and swipes his tongue through your puffy folds. His tongue thrusts inside of you, working out the tension of you clenching around him.

AN: when my writing is shit but I have to provide like a good mother..

#dominik mysterio smut #dominik mysterio x reader smut #dominik mysterio x you #dominik mysterio fanfiction #dom dom #dominik mysterio fluff #dominik mysterio x reader #dominik mysterio #dominik my bbg #wwe #dick me down

[parrythisucasual]

If it's not too much trouble, May i request a sweetheart Plush Fem!Reader x Jax where the reader going through a panic attack episode? Maybe Jax has to stop them from pulling apart their seams as he calms them down. (I'm such a sucker for hurt/comfort.)

Jax x Plush! Fem! Reader

Hope you enjoy!!!

You were shaking, breathing heavily despite the lack of need to. You felt tears pool in your eyes. This was way too much. Being in the circus was already mentally straining- why did Caine have to make this the next adventure?!

In honor of “human Halloween” Caine had created an AI to hunt everyone down, slasher movie style. You’d locked yourself in your room, hidden under your bed, and sobbed.

You let out a cry of terror as you hear footsteps draw closer. You know you cant die, you know you cant get hurt… But that doesnt stop you from being horrified. You bite your arm to shut yourself up, tearing a hole in your fleece.

The knob jiggles, and your breathing only gets more rapid, more shallow. You’re on the verge of passing out when you hear the lock click. The door swings open, revealing not the slasher AI, but Jax. His eyes fell on you almost instantly, the smug look sliding off his face faster than you’ve ever seen.

“(Y/N)!” he hurried to you, uncharacteristically worried, “what happened?” he pulled you out from under the bed. You grabbed him, crying into his chest. You could care less it was Jax, you just needed someone.

“Th-Th-the killer-!” you sobbed, shaking so hard you nearly fell over. Jax steadied you, frowning, “That scared you that bad?” He led you to yur bed to sit you down, “It’s over, okay? You won.”

You didn’t care about winning. You didn’t care at all. But the knowledge that it was over made your entire body tingle with relief.

“What’s this…?” Jax asked suddenly, reaching out and lifting your torn arm, “did… you do this to yourself?” You sniffled, nodding a bit, “I-I didn’t want to be heard-” “(Y/N), don’t-” 

He hugged you. He reached out and hugged you. You were in shock, momentarily forgetting how worked up you were. Was Jax… crying…? This was insane. This wasn’t the egotistical rabbit you knew. This was… the guy he was hiding.

Your arms wrap around his waist, squeezing slightly, “I-I’m sorry,” you mumble, leaning into him more. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” he drew in a shaky breath, reaching to rub your hair, “I’m sorry-” “Ot’s okay, I’m okay now, I promise!”

You smile a bit, this soft side of Jax making your non-existant heart flutter. Jax relaxes, returning your smile with one of his own, “Well, good,” he attempted to regain some part of his usual composure, “...you wanna get patched up?”

You nod and point to your desk, “Top drawer,” and he retrieves your sewing kit, threading a needle expertly. “You’ve sewn before?” you question, lifting your arm so he could begin the repair. He half shrugged, “Ragatha taught me once, said it was useful and I had to know how. I thought it was stupid,” he finishes the stitches and snips the thread, “well, until now of course.”

A small smile played on your lips, but he looked away. At first you thought you’d upset him, until you noticed the dusting of light pink on his cheeks. You laughed softly.

“Thank you.”

#the amazing digital circus #tadc #tadc x reader #jax #jax x reader #tadc jax #tadc jax x reader #the amazing digital circus jax

[olderthannetfic]

I would never defend them - at least not the ones who actually harass people - but I do wonder if there's some antis out there who genuinely come from good intentions.

Super serious and genuinely shameful confession: I'm an ex-radfem. I went into those circles in the first place bc I liked some of Dworkin's works. And while I obviously do not recommend anyone ever get into radical feminism, I will say this: If haven’t been down that very specific rabbit hole of ideology yourself - especially in online settings - you cannot even begin to imagine how fucking INSANELY pervasive the ideas are. Even if you've been a victim of radfem hate, if you haven't been a radfem yourself, I'm truly inclined to think you have no idea what those spaces are actually like. Sorta like how if you've been a victim of fundie hate, that is awful and it fucking sucks, but if you haven't been raised fundie yourself, you really don't know what it's like to be IN those circles, just a VICTIM of those circles.

I hate to throw around words like “hivemind” or “groupthink” but it is that. I went into radfem spaces thinking that I was above believing certain things that they believed but I clearly wasnt, it is so fucking toxic and that’s why i’ll never believe that “TIRF” (trans inclusionary radfem - something I tried and failed to be) can be a real thing. And then these same people have the audacity to call trans rights a cult, but you know, it's whatever.

Obviously terfs are more serious in the "real world" than antis are, but there are some parallels in the way that both groups feel about kink/porn discourse. (No, I'm not saying that antis "believe TERF ideology" or anything, but I do think in the specific context of sex stuff, there ARE alot of parallels.)

I am not defending radfems either, but I will say that I got into it because I was genuinely worried about things such as: PH and how they just steal content from sex workers, the abuse going on in the sex work industry, the phenomenon of young girls who are waiting to turn 18 so they can start an OF account, romance novels that were not marketed as dark but should've been considering they straight up romanticized abuse and rape.

I really do think that most antis are of a similar mindset -- people, typically young traumatized people (not trying to pull the neurodivergent minor card, it's just that statistically speaking, that label CAN describe most antis) who are truly worried that, like, idk, some young girl is gonna watch Twilight or read Reylo fic and think that an overly possessive bf is #goals. Again, I'm NOT trying to defend this ideology or line of thinking at all, I'm just saying that i DO think most of them really don't realize the harm that they're doing, and actually think they're doing good.

I actually kinda feel bad for them, but like my earlier comparisons, I feel bad for them in the same way I feel bad for fundies or evangelicals. I feel bad that they hold such an awful ideology while thinking they're doing good things, but I stop feeling bad once they start ACTUALLY hurting people and I'll always feel worse for the people who they harass and harm.

And like I'd never want to be a radfem again and I hate that I was one once but, between myself and your ~10k (ballpark estimate lol) followers, I think that my time spend in that belief system gave me some really good insight to cult mindsets, which was something I didn't understand before or have much sympathy towards, and I've emerged with a lot of empathy for people who ARE stuck in bad ideologies. I could've been born into a hate group. I could've been preyed on by alt-right people and sucked in that way. Instead, it was reading radblr during quarantine that got me. Before I fell into it, I just mindlessly hated everyone in that group, and now I just feel sorry for them (still without justifying any of their actions).

It's honestly a really, really, complicated thing to try to grapple with. Anyone, yes including you reading this, can be brainwashed into hate. The second you think you're too good for that, you've lost.

This was more of a vent than a discourse ask. I guess my tl;dr is: I hate antis, terfs, fundamentalists, etc, as much as the next guy, but I also recognize that some of those people truly truly do think they're on the right side of history, and some of those people have been sucked into an ideology they never would've believed otherwise if not for xyz factors. While hate groups will never deserve pity, there are some vulnerable people in hate groups who for some reason believe they're doing good, and I wish I could help all of those people.

--

Yeah, I assume many antis are perfectly sincere in their desire to protect people. They're just wrong about what will work.

[sudzymactavish]

Bloody Love

Makarov x M!reader

This is a really graphic fic so if you're easily disturbed I REALLY wouldn't read this. :(. I'll make fluff soon 😌 ‼️

TW: blood, gashes, cuts, blood, gore, graphic depictions of murder, crimes, drugging, suffocating reader with rag, slurred speech, reader referred as a dog, teasing, reader feeling fear, reader feeling depressed, reader feeling despair, bribes/141 pays Makarov to keep reader, crying, abandonment, cursing, reader is put on a leash, dehumanizing reader, degrading reader (not sexual), reader referred as an object/trophy, reader bathed by strangers, sedating reader, referring murder to art, kidnapping, knives, bloodlust, military, dark themes in general. If I missed any, I'm so sorry. Please correct me if I missed any TWs.

Your shaky legs stumbled to the door, gashes and cuts riddling your body. A trail of blood followed you, barely making it back to your husband and collapsing.

Months before, you were a member of the 141. They were your friends. You could always trust them, and they could trust you.

Although, that changed when Makarov took you all for himself. Using a cloth sprayed with chloroform, he swiftly dragged you away and took you to his safe house in St. Petersburg.

Goodmorning, sergeant [name]. Makarov held your chin in his hand, cooing down at you. The chloroform still had an effect on you, so you slurred out threats; "you won't get away with this. The 141 will sav-" Makarov laughed in your face.

You silly dog. The 141 isn't going to save you he jeered with a smirk. Your heart beat a little faster at that, the fear setting in that they didn't want to come back for you.

"What are you talking about? They're going to come back. I came for them, they wouldn't just-" pay me to take you? Oh, you poor man. They did. One of Makarov's men showed you a briefcase filled with lots of money. About a million, if you had to estimate.

You can't belive this. You won't belive this. They wouldn't leave you like that. Your mind fell down the rabbit hole, and so did your tears down your face. You cared about your friends, and now they abandon you? Leave you with this.. bastard??

In a fit of anger, you tried to jump at him. To cut him, make him bleed, anything. Your attempt was stopped by a cold metal pulling your neck back.

Horrified, you reached up and felt the cool metal. Makarov had put you on a fucking leash!?

I can't have my favorite man escape, right? He pet you, ruffling your disheveled hair. You should get some rest now. I'll be showing you off tomorrow, my little trophy.

He left before you could say anything.

The next morning, you were bathed by his men (you had to be sedated multiple times) and put into a pretty little suit.

You were in despair. You were being paraded to his men around the safe house, that was more like a mansion. Being a criminal was easy money. But none of the money in the world could make your sadness go away. You missed home. You missed the loving feeling you got from the boys.

You ate extravagant food, but you weren't hungry. You just wanted to be home. To feel at home. Nothing could replace that.

One day, after a few months of this, you didn't crack. You were still severely depressed from your only home being ripped away from you. You know, I've seen your file, [name]. Your eyes widened. First of all, how did he gets his hands on that? Also, did he see your past?

In the past, you were a delinquent. Getting in trouble, sneaking out, getting pulled over, mass murder..

You had a really bad problem. You killed a few people—you swear you didn't mean to. You escaped that whole mess and joined the 141, half of you hoping to do good after your horrible actions.

But gosh, you missed that feeling. You missed the blood splatting all over you. You loved seeing that silver blade plunge into their hears. It was art. Red paint covering a canvas, your brush sharp. It was actually half the reason you joined the military, to continue your artistic passion. Would Makarov fill your bloodlust?

I DO NOT condone ANYTHING in this fic. Everything that is done to reader is NOT OKAY. Anyways.. that was really dark. How about something to cheer yall up??

#cod modern warfare #gay #cod #tf 141 #cod makarov #call of duty makarov #vladimir makarov #x male reader #makarov x reader #sudzyswritings

[jahiera]

You mentioned in a previous Astarion analysis post:

"But, I think, given his behavior, his casual flirtiness, his "You want to lose yourself in me," (another line I can squawk about endlessly in terms of character analysis)"

I am encouraging you to squawk. I think you've got a really good grasp of his character and I love your posts!

UPDATE***written during EA

@littlemisstrancy Sorry for the late reply! I fell down another rabbit hole of replaying haha.... Aww, thank you! I'm so glad, a good grade in Astarion is a Normal and Reasonable thing to want to achieve. But YES, I find his entire sex scene to be extremely interesting (going off of what Larian said that, paraphrased, nonsexual intimacy with some will mean more than sex with others, because of the nature of the relationship.)

What I find most interesting about Astarion's romance scenes is that the scene itself is remarkably much more syrupy than he, by nature, really is. We can point to, "darling," "my love," as evidence of his tendencies for the dramatics, yes, but given that these are petnames he'll throw out to a Tav he hates as much as a Tav he enjoys, the surface meaning and connotations of dramatic flirtations and even more dramatic pre-sex speeches.... shifts.

The way we filter these interactions shifts because we have to filter what is, at first glance, a typical romance scene, through the lens of the character giving the spiel. If Astarion associates dramatic seduction and slinky purring as simply the easiest way to get what he wants--or, perhaps, more than that, the expectation, the only way for this interaction to occur, because hollow dramatics/play-acting have been likely the only pseudo-""romance"" he's engaged in in the 200 years he's been with Cazador, that changes the meaning of everything, including the line: "You want to lose yourself in me." <- sure laddie, just keep objectifying and disconnecting yourself from the experience itself and repeat the habits of behavior that you've learned from 200 years of being someone else's toy and tool where you weren't even a willing participant in what was happening, merely a mandatory one. that'll be really great. no backfiring here whatsoever.

Okay, sorry, under the cut the rest of this goes because I went off on three different tangents to try and tie them all back together again. This is mostly my background reasoning for above. WHAT DOES THE REST HAVE TO DO WITH TAV. Honestly I'm not sure anymore I started talking and then I didn't stop talking.

It feels like so much of the overarching realities of their circumstances fall away for Tav, but it also haunts the entire interaction with Astarion. Shallow charm. Winning over people. A pretty face opening doors. I'd chalk it up to sexy-video-game-scene-writing if it were any other game, but the other romance scenes aren't nearly so grandstanding and are written I think intentionally to subvert that, so this is an Astarion Thing, and likely goes deeper than that first glance. As it stands, Astarion barely even knows who he is now that he's outside of Cazador's control. "Another thing that I've lost." -- His personhood has been nonexistent, and he's been a tool, and he's been, for lack of a better word, dehumanized to the fullest extent for an insurmountable amount of time. So of course the thing he learned best is that the easiest way to get what you want, or get what you need, is to be easily projected unto. He can't keep the facade up for very long, I don't think, but in that scene his "don't ask too many questions just look at how hot I am" mindset is fully on to me.

The thing is that his circumstances with Tav here are entirely different than the ones he's been in before, but just because the circumstances are different doesn't mean that the behavior will be different, or that habits formed out of severe distress/torture in his own words will be so easily let go of. My ULTIMATE POINT is that charm and flirtations are things Astarion clearly separates from himself and his actual beliefs, and he treats what we conceive as "charming" behavior fairly flippantly--once again, that "my love," means... not... a lot. we just met 2 weeks ago, pal. And I don't think he's interested in using it like that anymore, because he's not making a super great effort to be perceived as likeable. It comes out mostly in scenes where flirting and charisma are expected of the interaction and then they're pushed to their most exaggerated format, when he isn't actually typically like that in other conversations. Dramatic and foppish, yes, and enjoys ridiculousness in several formats, yes, but not nearly so egregiously saccharine, at all.

If he is starting to give a fuck about Tav, or even the group, that's something else to grapple with, and it's still at this point I think partly wrapped up in the idea that Tav makes for a "good ally." His scenes where he says: "we're more alike than I thought" "You're stronger than I gave you credit for," feel more genuine and honest to me in some ways than his sex scene speech. His fondness for Tav and his idea that strength/power/security can be found by sticking close to Tav can be true at the same time, in an interesting dance between his growing connection to them and his general ideas on people, power, and control.

So secondary: is Astarion a manipulator who's using this sex scene to control Tav emotionally and that's what he's got going on here? Eh... maybe yes and no? He wouldn't ask Tav if he wasn't interested--as seen by how he'll shut you down if he can't stand your guts. If he's using sex for that, it's up in the air, open to interpretation, depends on your HC, I can see both interpretations and I'm not going to claim one is more true than the other, since there's evidence for both "manipulating" and "not manipulating" and to me, the truth falls somewhere in the middle. I'm sure the thought has probably crossed his mind, but I don't actually think he's good enough at charm to follow through on that, which I will now elaborate on in INTRICATE detail....

Astarion isn't actually concerned about being likeable, or wanted within the group--or, rather, he may be concerned about it (because there's both safety and danger in a group setting), but he also isn't concerned about it enough to not advocate entirely for self-preservation and selfishness at generally every turn. He also isn't concerned about winning over the group enough to abdicate his firmest belief: that the tadpole is an advantage they should use, and a power he intends to keep.

And, if you relent to the group, he calls you spineless in the face of everyone else. So he's not afraid to insult you, Tav, either, certainly not to preserve some loose semblance image of ""charming,"" which he's already really bad at maintaining in general, because his brand of everything can just as easily piss people off as compel. Bad taste central.

Hell, his intro scene displays this best: He lures you in with a silly little lie that makes him sound weaker than he is ("You can kill it, can't you? Like you killed the others!") and then he strikes when your back is turned. Shallow charm is an accessible tool, he doesn't have the patience for long-lasting plots or extended slinky charm. Or if he does, and he's been manipulating all of us, he's not doing a great job, since half the party is making faces at him the whole time. Buuut....

During the mirror conversation, if you tell him vanity is a weakness:

(Text - Astarion: It's an indulgence, I'll grant you, but a weakness? A well-presented face can open a lot of doors.)

There is an awareness of beauty and charm that Astarion references often. He isn't really afraid to objectify himself for his own means, or being perceived as weaker than he is (except in certain circumstances). He knows these things are quite relevant, socially. Beautiful people are treated better. Beautiful people typically can get away with more. Actually I could probably approach this from a Class and Wealth related lens too, because his history as a magistrate probably also influences this mindset a lot, but that is. a THIRD separate essay.

He seeks to be strong enough to beat Cazador, at least partly through the same means that Cazador himself uses. The tadpoles give us absolute authority, in the end, and Astarion has zero qualms inflicting onto others what was inflicted onto him when we use them. But prior to the tadpole, what tools did Astarion have at his disposal? Very few, and most of them revolved around empty charm, quick-thinking, and trying to predict unpredictable moods and then enduring whatever came of those moods. That hollow charm falls under these kinds of tools, which gave him very short-term influence over at least the people he would lure back to Cazador. Likely the only form of control or power he had within all of that, and where he himself was without control as his entire being was under someone else's thumb. And those habits will likely persist for awhile, until he relearns who and what he wants to do and be outside of Cazador's purview. Which could mean anything, this is not to make him sound softer than he is or sweeter than he is. His vainglorious bitch syndrome is 4D chess of truth and not truth, empty cloying, vicious lashing out, and 10 degrees of identity issues wrapped up in all of that, so it's difficult to pin down just one thing as Real or Not Real, and I don't think even he knows what's Real and Not Real right now.

#Hi Sorry. Guess who can't shut up. That's me. #astarion #bg3 meta #bg3 #This is fairly incoherent rambling.... I didn't actually have an end in mind when I started talking so you can hear the #pepe silvia meme vc in the background here #COMPLEX CHARACTERIZATION indeed. I want to bite down and chew on him #I'm still not sold on any of this either -- my interpretation of him shifts with the wind and every other thing he says #But these are my first.. initial... thoughts anyways... #thank you again for asking! so sweet of you hgfhghf

[mrghostrat]

" with star ratings to two decimal places if possible." is a sentence that once again proves Postcards From Paris has never left my brain. Did you ever explain that scale, i feel like you did but can't recall? I also feel like I should mention again how much that fic changed my life both in the "Oh my gosh this fic is life changing" way but also I fell in love with how you/Aziraphale described wine as a (at the time non-drinker) and fell down a rabbit hole of the process of making wine, and then finally tasted it and got interested in that., I also got a pen pal which I wouldn't of done had I not read it. Now I am toying with getting a diploma in viticulture once I finish my bachelors (and am in the processes of getting a level 1 wine tasting certificate) which I never would've done had I not read Postcards. Thats a lot of words to just say BNF remains great, Postcards was great, you are very talented and an absolute gift to the fandom thank you <3

sorry but your pipeline from non-wine-drinker to viticulturalist bc of my fic got me crying real ass tears shut the ufck upppp?? 😭💛😭💛😭💛 and a pen pal? i'm walking into the actual ocean

aziraphale will never tell his wine scale secrets, none of us but him stand a chance at understanding. but maybe you can come up with an even better one after your diploma c:

thank you for such kind words about words that are so dear to me 🥺💛

#ask a rat #postcard readers are built different #this fic has 100k hits to me #rat writes #the reactions of recognition from postcards readers is also like #so validating. to know that i'm not the only one who still thinks so lovingly of this fic

[hatsunemitskislobotomy]

“𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘪—”

“𝘪 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦.”

“𝙠𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙤.”

“𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙖𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙, 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙖𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙡𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙮 𝙬𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙬—”

❀° ┄───╮

in which your author (who has not written anything of substance in AGES) falls down the hamilton rabbit hole once again. is this an original thought? probably not. is it gonna hurt? y’all can be the judge of that 🫶🏾

╰───┄ °❀

her heart dropped as she sat on their shared couch. he just stepped out, a phone call— he promised that it would’ve been quick as he pressed a loving kiss to her cheek, it wouldn’t have been long before they would’ve been back to lounging around enjoying each other’s company. lord knows he needed it.

so why was he getting back into his work clothes?

“nanami…” she got up, he darted around their shared flat. seemingly unaware of her increasing alarm.

“they need me out there.”

“it’s halloween— you just got back!” a sense of dread crept up on her as she tried to reason with him but it fell on deaf ears.

he was always stern, stubborn. she cherished those parts of him but it seemed as if they were working against her tonight.

“they need me out there.” he repeated refusing to meet her pleading gaze and he buttoned up his blue dress shirt once more.

“i need you.” she argued

he finally met her gaze, his stoic one softening for a split second.

“i can’t be selfish, i have a job to do. people to protect— it’s what i swore to do being a sorcerer.” he swallowed taking her hands in his, rubbing his calloused thumb over her knuckles.

“those students i’ve told you about, they’re out there fighting, giving it their all. they’re just children.” he whispered.

“i have to help.” he pressed a chaste kiss on her forehead before pulling away.

and he had almost got her with his sweet words as he’d always do to coax her out of a bad mood when he’d take on overtime without warning.

but she wasn’t as forgiving this time. not when she felt as if she’d regret it letting him walk out that door.

“nanami— kento so help me god if you walk out that door, don’t bother coming back.”

his cool demeanor crumbled.

“darling…”

“no! you’re devoted to your job, you’re devoted to those kids! when will you be devoted to me? when will i be more than an afterthought?” her words cut through, bitter and raw.

“y/n you’re being selfish—” he countered, an attempt to bridge the growing gap between them

“because you won’t!” she snapped back, her tone thick with emotion as she pushed through.

“when will you stop acting like you don’t have a home to return to— that you don’t have someone waiting for you? do you even love me?” she shook her head at him, the bitterness of the words left their mark on her tongue as his eyes widened, the silence loud.

she knew her words were hurting him, but her anger was fueled by resentment. towards his job, towards his sense of duty leaving her neglected. it seemed like she didn’t even matter sometimes and it crushed her— so what if she was selfish? so what if she was unfair?

“of course i love you.” he murmured trying to step forward

“i don’t believe you.”

he swallowed before shaking his head. one, two steps and he was already invading her space again.

“darling…” he pulled her in, taking in her warmth as his lips found hers. she wanted to deny him the intimacy that made a mockery of what they once had but he held her firm. she wanted to deny it all but she couldn’t.

he had made up his mind, now he was just saying goodbye.

he pulled from her gently, his lips grazed her wet cheeks.

how dare he make her cry?

he whispered, "i'm sorry," his voice filled with regret. the weight of his duty and the anguish in her eyes collided. "i promise, once this is over, we'll have all the time we need."

she stared at him, torn between anger and love. "promises," she scoffed, a mocking bitter smile playing on her lips. "don’t make promises you can't keep."

he winced, the truth of her words cutting through him. "i'll make it up to you, i swear."

yet the unshakable dread clawed at her conscious. as he walked towards the door, he cast one last lingering glance at the woman he loved. the echo of her shaky breaths reverberated in the room, drowning in the silence of their shattered connection.

as the door closed behind him, she crumbled on the couch, her sobs the only thing now comforting in her time of need.

damn that nanami kento, the love of her life.

leaving her feeling utterly

𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨.

❀° ┄───╮

y’all i haven’t written anything that wasn’t a bummy ass paper for school in ages pls be nice 😭😭😭

╰───┄ °❀

#jjk nanami #nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami x y/n #nanami kento #nanami angst #jjk shibuya arc #writing #jjk #hamilton reference #unfortunately #I love nanami kento