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submalevolentgrace · 1 year

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Hi! I'm very interested in attempting to write a disabled character (not for this blog, I assure, for an book I'm writing) in which the story doesn't fetishize/objectify her prosthetic limb. I'm in many writing circles and have been for a long while, but I've never seen this issue brought to light which I realise is a very important one. I have much to change in my thought process, and thank you for bringing this issue to attention.

I'm curious, and I apologise if this has been asked before, but what sort of design could you see for a functional prosthetic that doesn't go for a plainly aesthetic appearance, or is soully to please others? I do note that you said prosthetics are generally... not that helpful. So is there a way that it could be? Or do you think it would always generally be better to not use a prosthetic, as its mostly for aesthetic purposes, as you said?

I apologise if this ask is too outright or anything, and I don't mean to intrude. Thank you for your time and have a beautiful day!

okay, i want to answer this as in depth as possible, because whenever i talk about having a prosthesis, someone will always tag some variation of "#writing reference" and i do wonder what message they're taking away, and i want to get as much of my experience out as possible to maybe help shape how this is all portrayed in the future. and yeah… this is gonna be one of those rambly smg posts that the expand feature was invented for, so i'll start with the very abridged TL;DR:

if you're writing a character with an upper limb prosthesis; don't. arm amputees are unicorn level rare even compared to leg amputees, and i've never interacted with or even heard of an upper limb amputee that regularly uses a prosthesis, let alone relies on one. fiction has lied to you for the sake of cool aesthetics, don't repeat the cycle. more in depth writing advice including nuance and "but i waaaant to" will follow.

that said, grab your donning parachute and let's get started...

context for everyone involved: i am an upper limb amputee that rants a lot about how prostheses suck, i lost my right hand roughly five years ago at roughly the age of 30 after a very rough decline in health… it was pretty rough. this question is being asked in the context of a previous rant post of mine, and i checked that the ask is about an upper limb prosthesis in particular.

the situation regarding the usefulness of lower limb prostheses is totally different; i am definitely no expert, but by all accounts, prosthetic legs are incredibly useful for many people. getting a good leg can be absolutely life changing and more or less necessary for day to day life for some; mostly because infrastructure and society is just so fucking hostile to wheelchair users. being able to walk - at the cost of pressure sores and rashes and increased residual limb pain - is a preferable option to many people than being unable to fit through a doorway or in a bathroom stall or find out that the key to unlock the only elevator is in the admin office up three flights of stairs (true story).

but upper limb prostheses… see, the thing is, hands are incredibly complex organs that rely on a lot of immediate haptic feedback to work at all. hand dexterity is all about control, you need fine granular movements of the digits yes, but you also need the subtle sensations of pressure and proprioception in order to adjust your movements on the fly. i speak from experience, in the years leading up to the full loss of my hand, i was slowly losing function of it, usually swinging between numbness that made it clumsy at best, or screaming overstimulation from moving it at all resulting in unpredictable spasms… and let me tell you, a half working hand is infuriating to try and deal with. you can never know if you have a good grip on something or if it's slipping because of the wrong amount of pressure, and there's only so many smashed bottles of pickles on the floor before you give up using it all together… so amputation wasn't a great loss there, i had time to adapt.

a prosthetic hand of any kind has all of those issues and more. they're heavy and bulky, the cosmetic faux fingers or gripping claw have crude movement at best, and there's zero feedback (put a pin in this). 100% of the time you're using a prosthetic hand you have to keep your eyes on the grip and visually guesstimate whether or not the thing you're carrying is held tight enough but not too tight, that is if your "heavy duty" prosthesis can even support the weight without the servos disengaging or the wrist attachment socket just busting loose. i dropped a whippersnipper on my foot last week when my socket couldn't take the weight and i think that was the final straw in me desperately trying to prove to myself that there is a single task my prosthesis actually helps with.

this is usually where fully two handed people start talking about bleeding edge DARPA tech, and how we just need to invest more,research more, develop more. better tech, more tech, neural integration, more more more. okay i promise the writing advice is coming! for starters on tech, my experience is already with a mid-to-high end ottobock terminal device: i've got a myoelectric nerve-signal operated proportional control heavy duty greifer; about the only upgrade left for me to get would be a rotating wrist joint if i could coflex. it's not military, it's not "rockclimber that owns a prosthetic company", but it's quality tech. it still fucking sucks. secondly, that high level military tech exists primary for PR purposes so they can say they treat their discarded casualties well, "we can rebuild him, we have the technology" style. every war vet i've read about or heard from that's been gifted that high level tech also abandons it for the same reasons; it's imprecise, there's no feedback (or the haptic interface has to be fully recalibrated every time they put it on), but mostly they're more capable without one.

okay, the transhumanist ableds say (i should know, i used to be one), what if we did more ~research and development~ and got that neural feedback working? then we could have fireproof superhumanly strong robot arms to fix up everyone! here's where i take out that pin we put up before and i tell you that a class of prosthetic arms/hands already exists that has perfect proportional control, fine motor control, and physics perfect pressure feedback piped directly into the patients' existing sensory systems! they're called body-powered prostheses, and they were invented in like the 1600s. you strap a whole bunch of stuff to your arm and shoulders shoulders, and control the operation of the terminal device and elbow through cable tension by flexing your shoulders. they do take a considerable amount of training to operate - though hell i spent 18 months training to use my myo - but based on everything i've read, body-powered prostheses are the best option if you're an upper limb amputee and absolutely need a second hand for some reason.

but they don't look cool and futuristic, and according to my prosthetist, most people give up on using them too. we all give up on our prostheses, no matter the type. my rehab OT was impressed i lasted the 18 months of my training. towards the end, they even asked if the clinic director could drop in to one of my sessions to see my progress; he expressed genuine amazement at me casually using my bulky robot claw to use a brush and dustpan, and made an offhanded (hah) comment about what someone can achieve "if they stick it out to the end", implying it was somewhat of a rarity for me to have done so. several years on, and yesterday i wedged the dustpan between my ankles to sweep up into it, awkward but exponentially less effort than putting my dusty robot arm on. which, by the way, is a whole thing. look up some videos, they're all awful to don. i don't actually know the official technical name of what my clinic calls a "parachute" but it's a bitch to use! have you ever tried to pull back with your arm whilst also pushing it forwards at the same time, and simultaneously lean in to and away from an external force pulling on you? that's how you get a myo socket on.

bare with me, i promise writing advice is coming, and i promise it's more than the tl;dr. but. remember when i said a half working hand is infuriating to deal with? any prosthesis, from fancy myo tech to pirate-era body powered, will only ever be half as good as a working hand, and being juuuust within capability to do something but not quite able to is maddening! but you know what works way better than a half working hand? no hand at all. using whatever residual/vestigial limb you have - whatever "stump" you have, i hate that word - is pretty much always better than trying to use a prosthesis. i can use the inside of my elbow to grip and carry things, i can use the nub of my arm to apply pressure to hold things, open doors, use a computer mouse, turn on taps and lights, if i put a glove over it i can use it to prep for cooking. i have full proprioception and pressure feedback with skin contact, i don't think i've ever dropped and broken anything from my elbow, unlike countless things slipped from my greifer - which, by the way, absolutely will start clenching as tight as it can if i get even slightly too sweaty around the electrodes, which has both broken things i'm holding and also injured me, because surprise surprise but servo operated robot claws have pinch points on them right near the "emergency disengage" lever for some reason!

but i am exponentially more capable without it on than with it. no, i'm not fully independent, i rely on housemates and loved ones to help me out with some tasks that simply just need two handed dexterity, but none of those tasks are things a prosthesis makes me able to do anyway. i used to imagine my prosthesis would be like a bra; a bit awkward and uncomfortable, but i'd wear it throughout the day because it's helpful and take it off in the evening to decompress. in reality it's actually exactly like a bra: an absolute bitch to put on one handed, unbearably uncomfortable because it never sits right, ugly af unless you're a millionaire, and absolutely useless except for the fact that i get gawked at and judged by strangers if i leave the house without it on.

and if you really want to discover how far "no hand is better than a half working hand" goes, brace yourself, and look up the patient's stories (not medical system stories) of people that have had hand transplants. the first man to receive one hated it, he was promised a return to normal function, and what he got was a nightmare worse than being one handed; he wanted it removed again but the doctors refused because it would undermine their grand achievement of the first hand transplant. the doctors and society wanted him to be fixed, they wanted him to be normal, they wanted him to be abled. they failed. they made him less able to do things, denied his autonomy, and left him with someone else's hand slowly rotting on him, prioritising the idea of "scientific progress" and "two hands good" over the physical health, mental health, and ability to function of this man.

he's not alone; every story from the patients' perspective about hand transplants that i've read goes this way, including a woman who was born quad limb different and was promised hands would improve her life, pressured into a double hand transplant, only to find herself after the surgery essentially experiencing disability for the first time ever, because she had lived her whole life getting by just fine with her 'underdeveloped' limbs, but half working hands are worse than useless. you can try to find these stories yourself, but i'm not going looking for sources on any of these cases, because if you look back through enough of my posts you'll get a glimpse of the horrors and abuses that i too was put through by doctors who prioritised trying to "fix" me at any cost, rather than providing me the best quality of life, and in turn traumatised me and left me more broken than any loss of limb on its own could. dear goddess, i promise the writing advice is coming.

so. why do upper limb prostheses exist at all? if they're so terrible and useless, what is their function? i want to borrow something someone else left in the tags of a previous rant here, from someone who i believe works in prosthetics and/or rehab, cleaned up and anonymised at their request:

"upper limb functions are wildly more complex than: 1) bear weight static, and 2) bear weight moving. but every single upper limb amputee i know has a fancy expensive prosthetic just gathering dust in the closet because there is literally nothing it can do like a few years of adjustment and if needed non-dominant hand retraining can't do. the existence of forquarter prosthetics to begin with is just kind of silly and useless and entirely to make OTHER people feel comfortable, especially considering they universally are UNcomfortable for the amputee. i hate the notion that as soon as you get the amputation the prosthetic is The Thing That Will Fix You And Make You Feel Normal again because it universally isn't! but every forequarter person i know had like this ideal of Being Fixed By Magic Prosthetic that they were then obviously wildly disappointed by and had to do yet another grieving process with, versus if the dominant narrative were just one of: yeah. it'll take time, there is no magic fix."

and i think that really nails down what the actual purpose of upper limb prostheses is: they're not for the user, they're for the sake of other people. and not just their comfort when looking at our bodies, although based on the pressure for both amputees and people born limb different to get functionless cosmetic plastic hands, there is a lot of that. but it's not just that.

i fully believe that the reason prosthetic hands exists is to comfort the fears of the two handed. "don't worry", they say, "we can fix you again. you don't have to fear becoming Disabled, you don't have to worry about adapting or your life changing. we can make you Normal™ again."

you would not believe the number of people that have approached me to shower me with pity, to tell me how horrific my life is, how they can't imagine it. people have told me, apropos of nothing, that they'd kill themselves if they lost a hand. indirectly, that my life isn't worth living. unless, of course, i happen to be wearing my cool as fuck looking robot prosthesis! then they tell me how wonderful it is, how lucky i am, how glad they are that we have the technology to fix me. that's what a prosthetic hand says, what all the happy fishing photos on limbs4life posters at the rehab clinic say: don't worry, we can fix you. that's what the bleeding edge DARPA flexi-whatever fully articulated neuro-feedback hands say: don't worry if you get IED'd while hunting civilians for us to drone bomb, if you get hurt, we will fix you, we will fix the fuck out of you, we will motherfucking adam jensen you into a cool as fuck cyborg that your son will idolise; come on boys, don't you wanna enlist just for the chance at being as cool as this? join the bomb squad for a ticket to the upgrade lottery.

and so we arrive at fiction. as much as his dialogue options protest, adam jensen loves his robot arms, they punch through walls, turn into fucking swords! they make him the most special man in the world. what would he do without them? learn to cope? grieve? practice acceptance? take up poetry? just, be disabled? there's no power fantasy for ableds in that.

in fact, can you think of a single fictional character that's an upper limb amputee that's, well, just an amputee? they all have robot arms. not realistic prostheses, not medical devices; robot arms. sleek or bulky, top of the line or broken down self built, steampunk or nanomachines or magitech automail; they're never without them. never just an amputee. never born limb different either! there's always that element of tragedy to overcome, always suffering and misery porn, always focus on the pain and the helplessness without the absolutely vital robot arm that makes them Normal and Whole. the closest amputee example i can think of is furiosa from mad max, who iirc fucking punches max in the face with her residual limb like a motherfucking badass! i can barely lean on mine wrong and she punches a guy! but she still apparently needs a dieselpunk robot hand to drive a truck, something you can do one handed so easily most drivers don't even notice they're doing it! please don't, by the way

and so many disabled fans love to point to robot armed characters as disability representation; the winter soldier, luke skywalker, edward elric, misty knight, that genderswapped furry girl from ratchet and clank, jet cowboybebop, finn the human, and yes, adam jensen…. these are all characters that someone disabled i know has told me they love because they "represent disabled bodies"…. and i know nobody wants to hear this, because i've been screamed at for saying it before, but… they do not. they are not disabled, functionally or within fiction. they are either perfectly able bodied Normal people with chrome paint on an arm, or tortured misery porn we are supposed to pity and feel lucky we're not them. sometimes both!

also you ever notice how it's basically always arms? lower limb amputations are orders of magnitude more common than upper, my prosthetist said i was probably only the 4th or 5th upper limb she'd worked with in her career, with literally hundreds of lower limb fits. but fiction doesn't seem to reflect that, huh? or any other part of the reality of disability. it's always cool as fuck robot arms, never cool as fuck wheelchairs or crutches or dialysis machines or colostomy bags. a fair few "i was blind but now i can see with Robot Eyes and also infrared and xray" around, which again, plays into that "we can fix you and make you cooler" propaganda.

by the way, up above when i was describing body powered arms, if you wondered to yourself why i went with a myoelectric one instead when i clearly believe body powered is better… yeah. i am not immune to propaganda! i too wanted to be cool as fuck. i spent years with deteriorating function in my hand for reasons that are still unknown, was misdiagnosed and medically neglected to the point that removing my hand seemed to be the only option left to offer some relief, and even that was a clusterfuck that left me worse than ever… of course i wanted to believe in the power and prestige of a cool robot arm that fiction promised me.

but fiction promises fantastical lies. and so.

we get to the writing advice portion of the novella that is this post. you asked for advice on how to write a disabled character with an upper limb prosthesis. you've read the tl;dr, you've read everything above i assume, you know i don't want you to do it. the obvious twist is that it's been writing advice all along, me trying to share my perspective on what it's like being an amp with a robot arm and how shitty it is, implying how almost any fully realised and realistic character that's missing an upper limb would give up on a prosthesis at all. you can already tell that every value judgement in me says "don't give her a prosthesis, no matter how functional or cool you make it. don't try to make the tech better to justify it, just let her be one armed, one handed. just let her be disabled, but not helpless. let her show off her elbow or underarm carry strength. let her love interest appreciate how soft and squishy her residual limb is in a moment of tenderness. let her natural disabled body be respected and valued."

but that's a personal value judgement from me, and you are the author of your own work. i know it's trite to say, but you are! even the act of deferring to someone with lived experience in the hope of doing a better job at representation is a value judgement, a good choice in my opinion, but one you needn't necessarily take. maybe you do want to write a character that has a cool as fuck unrealistic robot arm as a power fantasy, or a comfort blanket… i did.

i've been slowly writing my own probably terrible scifi epic for over a decade now, and when my arm was giving me hell back then, i'd take great comfort in this fantasy of my protagonist with her chunky robot arm, the terrible traumatic suffering of her loss, overcoming, the power and ability her advanced prosthesis gives her over others, that she alone has access to, because others are not willing to make the sacrifices required. inspiration porn. awful stuff to me now, but empowering to me then. as i grew and gained direct experience, i slowly reimagined her, rewrote her, ship of theseus'd her into an entirely new character; a reflection of me now, bitter at the whole thing, spiteful that her natural flesh arm evokes fear and distrust, but unwilling to suffer the pain and frustration of her unnatural prosthesis just to make others comfortable and respect her as "whole", however artificial that whole is. and as with the ship of theseus being two ships, once i realised the transformation, i re-added the old protagonist back in whole cloth as a separate character; proud of her robot arm and its power, but in new context, as a foil and antagonist, an in-universe military prosthesis propaganda figure to reflect how i now feel characters like her exist to us, the readers.

i'm not just sharing that as egotistical self promotion, but to highlight that, even if i sit here begging you all up and down not to write characters with robot arms for how bad and unrealistic they are; there's still something genuine and true that their inclusion can say. the great thing about the story that you're writing is that only you can write it, as they say. but i whole heartedly believe that to write to your best, you have to be aware of what you're writing and why. as tempting as it is to feel these characters form naturally in us and therefore we're averse to changing traits about them that feel organic and self evident; as authors we have omnipotent control over the text, every trait and detail is a reflection on us, so we'd sure as hell better understand why we're choosing to write a character with this trait. because anything you write without being aware of intent will take on its own meaning in the space between.

and on that note, if i don't say this, i'm leaving it to be inferred: i definitely don't want to appear to come down on the side of saying "you cannot write an amputee unless you are one", because we are rarer than single young bisexual unicorns! and it would be a tragedy if anyone read through all this and then turned away in fear, deciding to never write an amputee character (with or without robot arm) because they feel they can't do it justice… believe me, no matter what anyone says, some hack writer somewhere is going to keep writing adam jensens and winter soldiers. don't let them be the only voices in fiction! just try to do your best.

so my ultimate advice on the topic of writing a character with a prosthetic limb is to ask yourself one question in two different frameworks, and meditate on what you feel the answer is:

why does she have a prosthesis?

from a doylelist perspective as the kids say, as an author with omnipotent control, why are you choosing to write about this topic? why are you choosing to give this trait to this character? what does it say about how you view ability and disability, what makes a person normal, and what our society values? will you let her be in her natural body? or will you give her a prosthesis, force her to wear it by authorial fiat, or author her a meaningful reason to choose to? if yes, be sure you know; why did you give her a prosthesis?

and from a wastonian perspective, diegetically, inside the story, why does she choose to wear a prosthesis? what does it say about her inner character, and how she interacts with the world? how does she feel about doing it, is she prideful and loves the attention she gets, or does she resent whatever necessitates its use? how do people in this world view ability and disability, what does this society value? and above all, whatever the answer to these questions, whether or not she uses a prosthesis or is badass without one, how does she deal with the eternal freezing cold that every amputee ever feels constantly in their residual limb and why does nobody make a heat pack that fits over a nub without drafty gaps???

i can't outright tell you how to write a good upper limb amputee, but if you at least know why you're writing one and for what purpose, you're on track to write the best character that you can. that's the best advice i can give… other than, like, this whole rambly mess.

and, as a reward for reading this far, please have a very blurry cryptid photo of my cat doing his old man sit:

#prosthesis #prosthetic #disability #ableism

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misslaevna · 1 year

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could you write dazai, chuuya and akutagawa with a fem s/o who kisses them in the middle of an argument?

Here you go! ♡ I actually got another request with this same trope, y'all like kissing bsd men huh hehe

When you kiss them in the middle of an argument

characters: Dazai, Chuuya, Akutagawa

tw: idk fighting?? slight violence (we're talking about Chuuya here after all) but not towards s/o (reader is just referred to as 'you')

masterlist and requesting

≪ Dazai ≫

It was rare for the two of you to argue - mostly because Dazai usually took off god knows where before an argument could’ve happened.

When he returned, he reassured you everything is fine; he’s fine, you’re fine, your relationship is fine.

You, however, didn’t feel fine.

Both of you knew this can’t go on forever and the situation you (he) created was like a ticking bomb, bound to explode sooner or later.

And finally it did.

‘Osamu, no. You’re not pulling another disappearing act. We’re having this out in the open, right here, right now.’, you yelled while grabbing onto his coat when he was about to turn the doorknob.

‘Are we?’ he said in a tone which sent shivers down your spine. A tone so gentle, so soft, yet so… intimidating, it sent shivers down your spine. As if the aura of the room has changed, as if the tension was frozen in the air between you two.

When he turned his head towards you, his eyes met with yours - his gaze, like daggers into your soul. Those eyes, those sinister eyes - you could swear those eyes weren’t human.

Not that his sinister gaze would scare you, though. You tightened your grip around his arm, took a deep breath and dived into the deep, dark depths of… basically everything you couldn’t say to him until now.

Before you realized, you weren’t the only one raising your voice: it was also him.

Both of you were like oil to each other’s fire - one of you said one thing, the other spiraled off of that, and before long, even the collected and smart Dazai was resorting to petty arguments.

Until…

‘Well, y/n, I don’t even know why I always come back, but I always do! I just always have to come back to you!’

‘You mean you never once intended to come back when you left?!’ you screamed with tears in your eyes.

‘And you know what’s funny?! I can’t go a day without you, and I always fucking end up here, because I don’t know what else to do! I keep thinking about you, I keep wanting to come back because I love you, and I never felt like this before with anyone else! I ju-’

Before he could finish the sentence, as if your body moved on its own - you grabbed him by the collars of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss.

This man wasn’t constantly leaving to hurt you - he didn’t know what else to do.

When you kissed him, Dazai’s body slowly but surely into the kiss and his lips rested on yours with a newfound serenity.

He placed his hands on your waist, holding you firmly, as if you could slip out of his touch any minute - no. He couldn’t allow that to happen.

He needs you. He wants to be beside you, he really does. He wants to protect you, he wants to support you, he wants to be your boyfriend. He so desperately wants you to be happy, and he wants to be the reason for your happiness.

When you pulled away from the kiss, you were at a loss for words, as if you poured all your affection and love into that one, passionate kiss.

‘Y/n… I don’t want to want to leave anymore.’

‘You’re not going anywhere.’ you whispered, pulling him into a tight hug - for the first time, you felt like you made huge progress forwards in your relationship.

≪ Chuuya ≫

‘For fuck’s sake!’ Chuuya screamed; you, however, were unsure if this was directed towards you or he was just swearing to himself.

Because currently, he was doing both.

You had arguments, sure - but fights, not that much.

This one seemed serious though: two wine glasses already crumbled to pieces in Chuuya’s hands.

Looking back at it, it was somewhat expectable that you two would have a fight sooner or later: Chuuya’s been working like crazy nowadays, sometimes not sleeping for 40 hours, not coming home at all, not even responding to your texts.

At this time, Chuuya’s been awake for around 35 hours. He just arrived home, not even saying hi to you, not a kiss, not a hug, nothing - he headed straight into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of red wine, but the wine opener seemed to be lost.

Which was, for some reason, your fault.

‘Why did you have to misplace that fucking wine opener, y/n?! I’m so fucking done I swear to god!’ he growled, pacing up and down in the kitchen.

‘Maybe take a better fucking look around and instead of blaming me, act like a decent fucking person!’ you yelled, crossing your arms, returning the death glare he was shooting in your direction.

Finally, he stopped pacing.

You thought this is it and he’s calmed down.

You were wrong.

He slammed his fist into the kitchen counter, so hard that it crumbled.

‘I’m way too fucking stressed for your bullshit!’ he screamed, staring at the destroyed kitchen counter, his hand still in a fist, his jaw clenched.

You were so, so frustrated with him - but your heart ached for him.

‘Y/n, seriously, just fu-’

You knew Chuuya better than to lose your cool and spiral into an actual, full-fledged fight. This wasn’t the first time he came back completely stressed out, and this wasn’t the first time you suffered the consequences of his stress from work - he had outbursts like this sometimes, but nearly not as serious as this one.

So you carefully placed your hands on his cheeks, and leaned in - gently placing your lips onto his.

For a moment, as if Chuuya froze into place by your sudden choice of action.

After a couple of seconds, you let go of the kiss and looked into his eyes. ‘Better?’

Chuuya let out a loud breath through his nose - now it was him who locked his lips onto yours. Much more passionately and possessively than you did.

After the kiss, he placed one of his hands on your waist, and another on your neck while he leaned his forehead against yours.

‘Much better. Y/n, I’m so fucking sorry.’

You let out a faint smile, pressing a kiss on his forehead.

‘Let’s go to bed, baby. We’re both tired.’ you said.

≪ Akutagawa ≫

You’re not… sure what you’re doing right now.

Are you having a passive aggressive conversation or an argument?

It’s sometimes very hard to pin that down with Akutagawa.

But once again, the topic was no other than his previous mentor, Dazai.

You hated talking about that bandage-wasting machine. You hated how he ruined Akutagawa, you absolutely despised how he skewed your lover’s perspective about basically everything.

But most of all, you hated how he poisons Akutagawa’s mind to this day.

It was one of those evenings where Akutagawa was both lost in thoughts and lost in training - if you could call that training. To you, it looked like it was training labeled as torture.

‘Ryu, stop.’ you demanded, for the hundredth time. You knew he trains rough, but this was just pointless suffering at this point.

You always knew how much pain, suffering and despair he’s carrying inside his heart - and you always meant to share the burden, to ease it up a little. However, that was not always easy.

‘I can’t! I need to get stronger, don’t you get it?!’ he screamed, while Rashoumon ominously towered behind him - almost as if it’s ready to launch, towards you.

‘No, don’t you get it?!’ you yelled back, while marching towards him.

‘You are enough!’ you shouted once again, but this time, straight to his face. Akutagawa’s eyes widened at your sudden outburst - you very rarely raised your voice, so every occasion you chose to, caught him off guard.

What caught him off guard even more was that you pressed your lips on his after screaming his head off.

Stunned by your sudden affection, all he was capable of doing was to place his hand on your arm while slowly but surely giving in and returning the kiss.

After your lips parted, you looked into his eyes, taking a deep breath and loudly exhaling through your nose. ‘Do you believe me now?’

Akutagawa stood there quietly, still quite surprised from your sudden course of actions - after a couple seconds which seemed like forever, he slowly nodded, staring at the ground.

‘Forgive me.’

You gently shook your head, ‘It’s alright, dear. Let’s go and get some tea.’

Akutagawa softly smiled. ‘Sounds good.’

___________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

more from me:

taking care of a sick reader (Dazai, Chuuya)

hugging Fyodor headcannons

#bungou stray dogs #osamu dazai #chuuya nakahara #akutagawa ryonosuke #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #bsd akutagawa #dazai x reader #chuuya x reader #akutagawa x reader #bsd headcannons #bsd fanfic #bungou stray dogs fanfic

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qwuilty · 1 year

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How Postal 1 is a playable Tragedy and how Postal 2 followed with a Comedy after it. - A semi formal essay about the narrative and story beats of the beginning of Postal

That's right! This was not an april fool's joke! The only april fool here is me! It's an idea ive been brewing on for a while and it's probably very rambly, but such is life, i hope you enjoy it regardless <3

Before I begin this essay, I would like to clarify a few things.

One, I want to address right away that while I do try to be critical and non-biased on these sorts of discussions, due to my own personal attachments to specifically Postal 1 Dude, I don't think I will ever be able to make a fully unbiased view of him. Again, I will try my best to, but I hope pointing it out here will make it so you can decide if that’s something you’re okay with.

Secondly, while i will try to reign myself back a little and not just spew words at you here, i do tend to ramble a little and have trouble connecting points to other points, so if i do please forgive me there. This is meant to be a semi-formal essay, but still I am not a professional writer. Additionally, while i do this analysis of this series, i do not think it is what the creators intended, please do not take this as full canon and all. This is simply for fun and to recollect on the first two games of the series.

I hope you will understand, and with those disclaimers out of the way, we can begin with the essay.

We begin this essay with Postal (Which I will be calling Postal 1 for the sake of clarity, by the way), a PC-Rom game released in 1997 by the company Running With Scissors, originally published by Take Two Interactive before publishing moved over to Ripcord Interactive. The game was marketed to be intentionally provoking and intense. One example is through fictional interview quotes talking about how he seemed to be fine before the events of the game with a simple question below.

What went wrong?

With little more than that, a picture of an M-16, an invitation to find out at their website below, and a short talk about how to get the demo, it leaves a striking impression on the viewer and a burning curiosity to find out what did go wrong. Other advertisements for the game are similar in nature, being very eye-catching and intense to draw in the reader to want to see more.

Described by the studio as “The game every gamer wanted and no one else dared to make”, it’s very clear their intention was to bring you in with its more intense subject matter as this game that dared to go where no game had before, to either acclaim or great critical disgust. It is described by the promotional material as a psychological thriller, preparing the incoming viewer for the expectation this game would be intense.

From the advertisements though you can already get the idea there may be something else to this game, introducing Paradise as a town where everyone is out to get you (or are they?), and that whether it is Conspiracy or Insanity, you have no time to question, only to act. This narrative carries over to the game itself, as there is no formal introduction to a story given to the player unless they actively decide to read the manual included in the game’s case (or chose a higher difficulty in the remake, Postal Redux), you are more an outsider to what happens after you press play guiding the Dude through this hell.

However, I think to truly enjoy Postal 1, it is important to consider the journals themselves to get the inner perspective of your player character. Those who do not choose to may take the game at a more surface level with the “dark” cutscene texts and gorey gameplay then simply leave it behind, but the hidden story adds a whole extra level of depth and truly establishes Postal 1 as a tragedy.

To explain where I am coming from at that point, I would like to establish what makes a tragedy, specifically with Postal 1 being a Domestic Tragedy. (A tragedy in which the characters are middle-class or working-class people instead of nobility or rich people)

Aristotle’s tragic plot structure starts at the beginning, goes through action, leads to the realization of error, then goes through the falling action and emotional impact of it, eventually releasing the emotions of pity and fear through to the catharsis as the story ends and fear is removed.

While the game does not give much of an actual explanation of what happened in the Dude’s life before the events on October 17th, 1997 even in the diary entries that show his viewpoint, it’s easy to infer there was a rise even before then that he was not doing well mentally. He describes a rising paranoia, belief that the people there are sick, how “I hear gunshots, screams after dark. Now the phone calls, sayin’ i’m being thrown outta this house. My house.”, constantly arming himself with a sidearm and kevlar vest preparing for the incoming perceived impact that he ultimately makes reality.

From there we have our beginning, the game’s levels acting as the actions through the story that lead him on this journey through Arizona. Though initially he tries to find help and contact a sheriff, because he is seemingly so far gone, those efforts are in vain and his belief that everyone else is infected is reinforced. It separates him further from the people around him, believing that he is the only one who can save them from this sickness and that though the journey is bloody, it is for the good of mankind.

It’s likely at the beginning he intends to save them, but after a while, comes to the conclusion that the area is simply beyond saving, and that he needs to leave a scorched earth behind so he can warn those outside. His condition worsens the further the player goes, covered in blood, bullet wounds, body aching but unable to stop until he sees this desired resolution. As quoted from The Industrial Complex journal, “Too far to quit now. Whatever waits at the Base, I’m going to see it with my own eyes.” and from the Air Force Base as he tries to resolve himself to finish what he set out on, “Me or them. Can’t delay, can’t risk infection.”

Notably in the game’s manual there was no journal given for the ending cutscene in the original game, though I think the one for Redux is also fitting. “I’ve been here before. I know it. But… Something’s changed. Will they understand me? Forgive me? Is this where I find salvation?” One of the main things you’ll probably hear about relating to the differences of Postal 1 and Redux is the ending being changed.

In Postal 1, the game ends with the Dude making his way to an elementary school in a haze, the player no longer in control as he desperately tries to take aim at them, but nothing he does seems to affect them. Considering unfortunate tragedies in real life, this ending was changed for Redux, where instead the Dude walks up to the end of a church, watching as a coffin is lowered into the ground either alone on Easy to Medium or with two mourners on Hard to Nightmare, and the hostile count goes down from one to none as soon as it’s in the ground.

Either way, it ends with the Dude collapsing down to the floor, and the game finally ends with pictures of Dude in a hellish confinement and a voice speaking over top. The final speech talks about the stress of modern life before further mentioning how he had perceived himself as a hero against impossible odds, but in reality will now only ever be seen as a mad man who hurt hundreds, if not thousands of lives.

Some may say this ending is an anti-climax or a bad reward for the game, but i think through the lens of a tragedy, it is a perfect ending. Our ‘hero” through the entire game has kept himself standing because he thought he was doing the right thing, that his actions were horrible, but it would be justified by the good he was doing. He does not want them to writhe and suffer, the journey is a horrific nightmare, and there is no sense of pride or that he’s finally getting some kind of vengeance on those who wronged him. But he persists, he moves onwards because he so desperately wants to end this and stop the madness, one that only he sees as reality.

That is where we get the action, right after the Air Base is the Recognition, the point of realization that it was all for naught. In Postal 1, it’s likely this comes at the moment he realizes that he’s not doing anything to them, and unable to simply destroy this ‘threat’, he is forced to stop and think if he’s even been going against any threats at all. How far has he gone to the point he was going to harm innocent children? How many more innocents has he harmed? With Redux that realization is more up to interpretation, whether the casket is where he’s in after he dies and realizes that there’s no recognition of him after his death, or if it’s the last hostile he has to kill, only to realize even with them dead, the world around him has not gotten any better, only worse because of his actions.

The pity and fear comes from the moment inside the cutscenes, and from there the "catharsis", when he is ultimately institutionalized with no seen trial, no fanfare, and is given an analytical view from an off-screen doctor before the game ultimately ends. And again, I think for the game that Postal 1 is, it’s the perfect ending. Because truthfully, was there ever going to be any good ending for him after his collapse? The player either knows or discovers along with him that his journey was for nothing, he killed countless people including potentially civilians who had just happened to get caught in the crossfire, and the grand threat he fought against did not even exist. There are no heroes, there is no triumph, it was all for nothing, and now he is confined to a cell as several hundreds of families have to cope with the loss.

With all of this, I think Postal 1 Dude (and subsequently Postal Redux Dude) is a great tragic “hero” figure, as deep down he wants to do good for the world. If you take the advertisement interviews and hints from others as a sort of semi-canon, it’s implied he was doing good, he was kind to others and liked well enough, but likely due to an untreated and ignored illness began to fall in on himself into a paranoia so deep he could never crawl out. I hear a lot of the notion that he “snaps out of nowhere”, and that he’s just “crazy”, but I think that’s a gross oversimplification of his character.

Even in the moment of it all, he initially tried to go to a higher authority for help but found himself all alone to try and stop this ‘sickness’. His journey is his own personal burden, taken to try and stop anyone from being hurt, at the cost of his health and potentially his own life. But it’s also important to not just consider his intent, but the action caused afterwards.

Because while he did mean to save others, he still hurt hundreds of people. There are hundreds of families who will never see their partners, their siblings, their children, their friends, all because of one overzealous man who decided he was going to be humanity’s savior. Perhaps it is not just conspiracy or insanity, but instead the poor judgement of a man who truly believes he is doing right being guided along by an outside force who makes him see it through to the end.

In Postal 1, you are the audience to a grand scale tragedy, bringing a man on a journey through hell to a shallow grave where no one is saved, no one is cured, leaving you back on the title screen to think about what you’ve done to him and the people of Paradise.

In Postal 2 you can smoke crack and piss on people.

Okay, sorry for the whiplash, but I had to transition somehow.

After the release of Postal 1 and subsequent expansions, there was obviously a backlash as well as critical acclaim. The game was banned in several countries, Running With Scissors was personally given a letter by the USPS about the name, and it was pulled off the shelves of several stores. Many books about video game violence and newspapers talked about the game and admittedly got quite a lot about it wrong, like believing the Dude was an ex-postal service worker despite the game never saying so, that there was some sort of score based system for “killing as many innocent victims as possible while they begged for mercy” (Stop Teaching Our Kids To Kill, Lt. Col. Dave Grossman and Gloria DeGaetano, Chapter Two, 1990s: Video Game Violence Increases.), not to mention how many were quick to try and pull a connection between it and horrific tragedies in real life.

(Quick unprofessional note, the amount of times i saw this one damn quote about a specific killer killing himself “JUST LIKE HOW YOU END LEVELS IN POSTAL!1!” despite that NOT being how you end levels in postal or even the game makes my head physically hurt.)

With this reception of Postal 1, it does make sense for Running With Scissors to decide to take a change of focus when they began work on Postal 2 after the cancellation of their next game, Flesh and Wire. While Postal 1 was more intense in tone and serious, Postal 2 was set to be much more parody focused and had a drastic shift in the appearance of the main character.

While Postal 1 Dude in the concept art and promotional image notably looked disheveled and scared, Postal 2 Dude felt more laid back, engaged in the chaos around him and able to dish it back just as hard. There’s a very noticeable shift even before the game came out, from a man huddled in the corner with a rifle or seemingly startled holding an M-16 (note, i'm pretty sure it is? I am not a gun person, sorry </3) to a man standing with his body facing the player, brandishing his rifle as chaos ensues behind him.

The town of Paradise goes through a similarly drastic change, from a somewhat toned down and realistic feeling environment made of cool and dark colors to a much more exaggerated parody of a small town in Arizona full of bright, warm colors. The game begins with a sweeping view of the town, passing by a road sign warning to “watch for psycho assholes”, a drunk man dancing in the streets as a cat falls asleep, a man is beat by a police officer, and the player can already see several satirical billboards on their way to Dude’s trailer.

The introduction to him is also drastically different, now speaking directly as he wakes up in his obviously run down trailer and gets into an argument with his wife about moving to Arizona to pay for his crack habit, the AC being broken (which he obviously doesn't make better by shooting at it), about chores until he makes his way out of the trailer and kicks away Champ, his car not working, and the Bitch reminding him to get her rocky road. This immediately sets up Dude in this game being much more cynical and snarky, someone who’s been chewed up and spit up by life, and now is dealing with a pretty rough morning.

The game itself follows a pretty similar tone, gone are the unsettling journals, the morality of it all, in this remodel of the series the game has effectively gone from Tragedy to Comedy. More specifically, I think Postal 2 falls under a Farce, which according to the Wordsmyth dictionary, is “a comedy that depends for its humor on quick and surprising turns of events and on exaggerated characters and situations, or the type of humor characteristic of such a play.”, which I feel is very fitting. Running With Scissors put more emphasis on physical comedy, slapstick yet still grotesque violence, bodily function humor, and of course, a lot of satire and parody of life at the time.

The game itself plays as if it were a comedy, each day functioning as a new act as the chores act as the separate jokes, returning jokes such as the Dude’s relationship with his wife and introducing new ones such as the incredibly zealous anti-book protestors burning down a library on Tuesday or the cannibalistic butchers of Thursday. The main sources of these jokes in the game come from two factors, that being the world around Postal Dude is insane and absurd but he still has to make it through each day somehow, and an extreme form of Murphy’s Law, in which anything that could go wrong will, and at the worst possible time.

The ability to make it through these insane events in one piece is what mainly separates Postal 2 Dude from Postal 1 Dude, as while Postal 1 Dude holds onto his sense of justice and morality in the horror he saw and ultimately ended up hurting himself and those around him, Postal 2 Dude is adaptable, able to keep his head above water and make it home despite it all. The game’s increase in the story’s conflict as each hate group begins to target Dude is still joking in nature, just another group of people who hate him and try to kill him on sight, but you’ve got errands to do so you just gotta deal with it.

The ultimate climax of this increasing rise of stakes leads to the final event of Friday, quite literally a full blown apocalypse (complete with a nod to Postal 1 on the newspaper about mind altering gasses and the military being involved) where cats and dogs rain from the sky and everyone and anyone is trying to kill each other, especially you.

It’s the final big obstacle as you book it back home, this massive hysteria that serves as the big crazy finale until you finally make it home and things shift back to a mundane that now becomes comedic in its own right. Dude returns home, having made it through figurative hell only to be reminded of a joke that comes full circle from the start, the fact he forgot the Rocky Road. The final joke ends with a loud gunshot, implying that while he could make it through all he’s been through that week, having to be there even a moment more made him decide he’d rather spend the night in a hospital or a grave.

In conclusion, the drastic difference between Postal 1 and Postal 2 is incredibly fascinating to me, especially through the lens of them as a traditional Tragedy and Comedy in video game format. While the series has leaned much more to comedy after the release of 2 and Redux did not do as well financially, i think it’s still interesting to look back at the beginning of the series and their adaptation of it later on to see how the Dude began.

From a desperate and hopeful but ultimately misguided self imposed martyr of humanity who was going to drag along as many as he needed to “save” those outside to a cynical and sarcastic man living in a trailer home making it through each progressively more crazy day to make it home and start a new day after that, you can fully feel the shift in tone from the soundtrack to the design to the gameplay of the games itself.

I do think it was probably for the best that Postal had turned more comedic as time went on, it seems to be more where Running With Scissors are able to fit their writing, however i still look back at Postal 1 very fondly and hope to see more of those tragedy elements come back for a bit in the jokes. It’s a compelling narrative and even if they say it has no story, i’ll always think the story it DOES have is very underrated.

Here’s to hoping for that Postal 4 weekend expansion?

#postal dude #postal 1 #postal 2 #character analysis #i included some drawings inbetween to break it up a little so its not all just words #i hope p2 looks okay i dont draw him as much as i do p1-#again i hope you all enjoy this ive been thinking about it very much #Postal 1 you may have no story according to others but you have all the story according to me <3

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rawliverandgoronspice · 8 months

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This is not me defending Nintendo's shoddy writing when it comes to heavy parts of the Gerudo lore. But I do wonder if some of their really bad missteps are because of their lack of knowledge of Western racial politics. A lot of Japan is still heavily xenophobic, and racial diversity is almost zero, so they might just not actually think about the implications because they just... don't know they exist. It's not an excuse, because Nintendo IS a global company, and there should be some extra research done, since stuff like that is just really fucking iffy. I'm just trying to figure out where that stuff comes from tbh, and why it's still around, instead of being weeded out. So maybe that's a reason, in which case... maybe get some writers who can write depth into their characters.

Hey, thanks for the ask!

So... I feel many things about this, and I completely see where you're coming from, and I think you have hit the nail on the head about why Nintendo do not feel like handling this issue is necessary, or that it doesn't concern them altogether... but I have to be honest, I feel like we give Japan way too much slack on these issues in general, and it's a very common problem (thinking of the controversy on FF16 for just another recent example, or the way queerness is handled in a lot of anime and games). Regardless of, just, the artistic integrity to incorporate the rest of the world as existing alongside you which isn't... mandatory of course, but I believe is important for the sake of honesty: there are japanese people of color, there exists a queer japanese community, and a lot of immigrants living in Japan have to deal with rejection and being considered a second-rate citizen all of the time. Not to mention anything about the new generations of people who were victims of their occupation not so long ago, a subject which is still regularly repressed and ignored by their government (and by the world at large, the US had interests in quieting down some of the worst things they did due to Cold War stuff, and in the West we mostly focused on Germany and collaboration --which makes sense, it's what we knew, but anyway it's complicated and not the topic). This is not a case of mere innocence, it is a case of politically construed ignorance; which is very different, and should not be regarded as equivalent.

But even beyond their own internal socio-political issues, which I am not qualify to speak about beyond what I know from second-hand stories I heard and what I have personally researched, The Legend of Zelda is an IP that is tailored for the West (TM). It is incredibly more popular here than it ever was in Japan. It is a product designed for export. Trying to anticipate what the western market enjoys and fitting right in is part of their responsibilities as a brand if they want to succeed. So, either they did not consider this aspect, which was absolutely something they should be criticized for, as subjects of diversity are hot and trending right now (even without getting into their moral implication) and they did what I consider to be the bare, cynical minimum in this department; or they had an inkling, and considered their choices wouldn't be a dealbreaker. Which... they clearly were not.

Again, I am sorry to be a little cynical here, but while I certainly don't think Nintendo was being consciously malicious here, like making choices to actively play into harmful stereotypes and strict gender roles as some form of active ploy in some sort of culture war, Nintendo is run by conservative japanese men with capitalist interests and a responsibility towards their own government as a major player for japanese soft power. The company will *never* question its own biases, especially if the West just eats up whatever they do and build a human wall of excuses to justify their absence of accountability. This, beyond the game itself which is good and fine and also kind of soulless the more I think about it (in my opinion), is what depresses me and what makes it hard for me to move on: to give them a free pass on these subjects is a choice everyone is collectively making, because it is the Nostalgia and the Childhood and we are desperate for wonder and joy --and it ultimately makes us somewhat toothless as consumers.

And I want to add I am absolutely not immune to this, and it doesn't mean I'm condemning the practice of fandom or the possibility, or even the necessity, of holding several simultaneous truths about a piece of media at the same time and navigating them depending on what is being discussed; but Nintendo is obsessed with controlling its image as a company, curating things as acceptable or unnacceptable as they see fit, approving or disapproving of their consumers' behavior and punishing them accordingly (as well as the rest of the industry *side-eyes the thirty patents on basic gameplay actions*), and it's to say nothing of how employees may be treated beyond the perfectly curated Pikachu yellow walls. This corporate image of being non-controversial is enforced. It doesn't mean I don't admire them for a lot of things, their genuine commitment to game design innovation, their virtuosity when it comes to level design in particular, the way they foster pools of raw talent, their devotion to open up the market to new demographics of gamers, or for the risk they took with the Switch and the wonderful venues it opened for indie devs. I love their games, profoundly, and I owe the company a lot of my joy.

But again, I think it's important to consider several realities simultaneously; and this joy, this goodness, this beauty, while absolutely wonderful and worth preserving, always runs the risk of getting in the way of our discernment in what is getting sidelined.

#asks #totk critical #zelda critical #zelda fandom critical #nintendo critical #gerudos #thoughts #thanks for the ask!!#sorry if I went a little hard there #a little uhhh Too serious #but I am genuinely a little depressed about how we settle for corporate safety as the epitomy of greatness #mechanical perfection as sufficient in itself #and I don't know how we meaningfully fight this #the structures of power comprised of people who are terrified of their own soul and the capitalist safety they will forever cling to

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twothpaste · 11 months

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fassad frustrates me because i feel like he was almost an amazing character, a fantastic addition that would've added even more depth and nuance to a story that's already so rich. and then they just dropped the ball by not elaborating on his identity or motivation, like?? at all?? whatsoever?? on one hand i love him just being an unrepentantly hammy Bad For Badness' Sake kind of villain. but as the player, when chapter 8 rolls around, you are no longer at liberty to read him that way. 'cause he is very much a defected dragon guardian. a figure with all implications of a complicated history, who's supposed to stir conflicted sentiments. but since the game offers no hints, not even breadcrumbs, as to the how or why of it, i'm left feelin' instead like i'm missing some huge piece.

not even askin' for a full exposition dump about locria's heel turn, or flashbacks, or anything that'd eat up a lot of screentime. just literally any dialogue or details that might paint a picture in the player's mind. when did locria become fassad? how do the other magifolk (and kumatora) feel about their absence? why might they have aligned with porky of all people? could the game have called the slightest bit of attention to anything the two of 'em have in common - immortal, bored, harboring a general disdain for human life? does fassad, the most selfish of his kin, care that his actions will lead to his own demise when his needle is pulled? does he have plans to double-cross porky at the last minute? or does he have some nihilistic deathwish, for both himself and the world at large? like. take maybe two or three of these questions. give 'em even just one line of text a piece - it can even be vague as hell! do that, and mother 3 would've been cookin' somethin' with this character. as it is, locria is simply fassad for reasons we will never fathom. which may as well be no reason at all.

there is some cut dialogue involving locria, iirc from a version of the story where the player actually does encounter them as locria. while in most cases i think mother 3 works fine without its cut content (dare i say better - trim the fat, n' all that), i am awfully curious about whatever was goin' on there. makes me wonder if fassad used to be more fleshed out, only to end up a casualty of the game's rushed development. like with the version of locria we got, i suppose we'll never know…

#2thtalks

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wonkyelk · 1 year

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As there’s potentially a New Stargate thingy on the horizon and they might be confused how to go about it, here’s a rough template, based on no particular Atlantis’s.

—— ——————-

“Welcome, new characters, to our ensemble space show. We promise to give you all equal screen time and not to focus on two or three characters whom the writers can relate to/ and or want to bone.

(This promise is not legally binding and can be rescinded at any time)

———

“Okay… ah, yes, you’re the token Token character. You won’t get much to do, so just… be there. Here, your welcome pack comes with a set of travel games, cards and dice for the downtime.

There’ll be a lot of downtime.”

———

Hi there, welcome to the world of skimpy outfits and permanent goosebumps. Remember, you will be allowed to kick ass at intervals, but only if you do it in an aesthetically pleasing manner, with lots of leg.

As you are a woman, you are contractually obliged to remain attractive at all times and become exasperated with the menfolk at least once per episode.

No, you are not allowed shenanigans. That’s what you’re there to be exasperated with.”

———

“So, you’ve been with us before I see - ah, yes the ‘kickable bastard, specifically introduced to make the main character(s) look good”.

But now you’ve been upgraded to… what was it… tart with a heart? Oh, right, still a bastard but with a reluctant soft side and hints of character development, which will ebb and flow like the tides.

“No, you do not get an option to apply for tart status.”

———

“Ah, yes, we have you down as a ‘Jack O’Neill’ type… heroics, stoicism, deadpan banter… hides intelligence behind food, Ferris Wheels, etc.

“Hmm. Your hair is a little quirky for the part, but we’ll allow it.”

“Stay on script, face rigid, except for the smirk - we like the smirk - and for Big Drama Wobbles and you’ll be fine.”

———

“So, as the leader of the expedition, you’ll be getting complicated character arcs, investigations into your inner life, some intelligent, in-depth, exploration of the moral dilemmas involved and… oh, hang on, sorry, you’re a woman.

Right then, you get the ‘main character-lite’ version of the above, which half asses all of that, but does come with flattering clothes and make-up. Don’t worry. The standard ‘exasperated with the menfolk’ clause applies to you too, so that should fill out any gaps in your character.”

———

“Exciting news, Token character ! No, sorry, it’s not actual development - you’ll be essentially sleeping through the next three episodes, so you get our complimentary pillow and duvet set. It comes with a free mint!

Please do not soil, we’ll want it back when your character inexplicably disappoints the people who didn’t develop it, by not being developed enough.”

———

“Fake O’Neill, It’s been brought to our attention that you’ve been using your face to directly contradict your strictly heterosexual hero status. Please brush the hearts out of your eyes before engaging in manly banter and for god’s sake be a little less … goofy.”

———

“Good news, Warrior Princess, we’ve been spending a lot of time and thought on your character and we think we’ve finally cracked the most important aspect of it.

Your new hairstyle debuts next episode. We have high hopes.”

———

“Well, you’ve actually become a loveable and popular character, with great co-star chemistry and a nuanced emotional range. So, where we’d like to move in the future, is to interweave your moments of heroism and emotional development, with making you the city butt monkey for no good reason, except we think its kinda funny. And also, a token girlfriend, because the co-star chemistry thing isn’t actually supposed to be quite that, you-know. Chemical.

We’ve spoken to Fake O’Neill about it as well, of course, but frankly we think he’s started looking at your ass even more since then.

I mean, to be fair, it’s a damn fine ass.”

———

Token character, I’m pleased to announce that we finally have that character development you asked for.

Your ‘Villain Arc’ pack is on the right chair and your marching orders are on the left. It’s been nondescript working with you.

#sga #Additions welcome #Silliness

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blog-of-hubris · 5 months

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I really liked your analysis on sakurajima I thought it was really good I just wanted to ask you something these are some criticisms I’ve heard on the arc and I would like to know what you make of them these ones are a little different though

What do you make of these objections

Hello Joker, thanks for asking me a question. I usually hate commenting on negative feedback that I disagree with or better yet lack the ability to understand. However, I will give you a thorough answer for your time.

There are a few points I disagree with. I will say, I think OP has a skewed perspective on what Maki represents, and this opinion seems to be lost in the route of Maki being Toji's second coming. I think a common mistake with the fandom right now is seeing the connection to Maki and Toji to be focused on their similarities when really it is their differences (i'll mention this more later).

They mention the Zenin Massacre as a moment of tragedy and loss for Maki and that's only in the aspect of losing Mai. Killing the clan was her beloved sister's final request. Also, Maki is much more separated from everyone else since this happened. She is extremely straightforward (even more than she was before) which I see as an aspect of her experience killing the clan. I think OP is underestimating how much weight came off Maki's shoulder with the clan gone. Also, the weapon that she has is a memento to Mai and connected directly to her soul. I don't think Maki feels like Mai is entirely gone due to having the blade, and also her moment in the culling game was a reflection of that. I think a major focus of her moment was to show that she was still holding onto what happened psychologically.

Maki was the character that hide the aspect of wanting to change the Zenin Clan for Mai's sake, so it surprises me that OP is expecting some super heartbroken traits to be shown by Maki. She's like Toji in the way that she is a brute and would want to handle things physically than psychologically. The big difference with Maki is that she had Mai and only Mai. She felt the need to change the clan for Mai’s sake, while Toji saw escaping the clan and renouncing their existence was the best way to disconnect from them. Losing Megumi's mom sent him down on a spiral, but like I said before — the big thing about Maki and Toji's character is their differences. Yes, maki is the second coming of Toji with the physicality but remember she had a whole twin who held back her potential. She had the support of Gojo to fall back on, and her personality is kind-hearted at its core. I just dislike the idea that Maki's character revolves around Toji so much, it just isn't the case to me. Nobody said she was the return of the Sorcerer Killer, people in the fandom just assumed that.

I just thing this OP has a fundamental misunderstanding of Maki's role in the story. I think they also misunderstand the level of depth behind Mai giving up her life for Maki to achieve the passion she always had. Mai made the conscious decision to give up her life to create the ultimate weapon she could for her sister, ultimately giving her the perfect tool to seek the revenge they both wanted. Yes, the situation is a tragedy, but this is a world of cursed energy. Mai's "Curse" unto Maki was to kill the clan and then find happiness in life thereafter. At the end of the day, Mai the type of passion and drive that Maki had, she did not want to deal with curses or be a sorcerer. She was fine being a servant/stereotypical woman for the clan, but that wasn't what Maki wanted. Yes, Maki may now (more likely than not) see her past selfishness as a mistake, but this adheres to the same theme that has been a core value for JJK since Vol 0: “Love is a Curse”; while also representing Sukuna's perspective on weakness showing through love as well. Maki now is not tied down to Mai, and Mai is not tied down to the confines of the Jujutsu world.

At the end of the day, what both of the twins wanted was to be together forever, but their approach did not align. With Mai's soul being in the blade, it gives her a sense of peace while also being by Maki's side. The moment between the sisters was a moment for Maki to truly recognize the sword as Mai's soul and not just a tool she left with her. I struggle to understand how this isn't seen as a moment of light in the darkness that has followed. Maki has something that literally connects her to her sister's soul, and due to them being twins, who knows how deeply the connection with the soul splitting sword can be for Maki.

I also think that OP confuses Noritoshi Kamo's “screen time for distress” with us just getting more insight on who he is as a character. We see Kamo think about his circumstances and reflect on his life through flashbacks. This isn't Gege taking away from Maki's character but showing us that Kamo is a character of introspection. We knew that from Goodwill arc, but in CG we just get a deeper vision to understand his motives + see how he processes his existence as a person. We have gotten all of this from Maki through Perfect Preparation. Maki isn't a thinker, she moves through action. That's why her over thinking against Noaya was a hindrance to her, and she needed the sumo spars to get her mind back on track. In perfect preparation, we get Maki's past via other people bringing it up because Maki just pushes forward, and only through others does her past come to light. This has been happening since we got introduced to Maki in 0, and in the main series we get a glimpse of Maki's past through Mai's eyes only. We only get a glimpse of Maki's POV of the past, but it was a quick flash of her thinking about Mai right before the massacre starts. This is because she isn't one to look back but to look forward and Gege has stayed consistent to that.

My last point will be that I abhor the idea that a character has to display some overexaggerated or dramatic traits to show they have experienced trauma. I find people who have this view point to ignore the fact that trauma is displayed very differently with each person, and common symptoms are not the end all be all. There are many people who get through trauma by moving forward and letting time be what helps heal as they process what they have been through. For JJK specifically, it is said constantly that being a jujutsu sorcerer is hell. I think Gege has stayed so consistent to this, to the point audience members get confused when the cast members actually understand this, lol. The cast members aren't unaffected by loss, they process it differently. Not everyone needs to have a mental breakdown like Geto.. And even for Geto his situation was a collision of circumstances leading up to a change in his thought process. Even then, Geto's choices were to change the fact that sorcerers were so used to loss. He wanted to end that cycle because he felt he was strong enough to. He felt it was his role in life to pursue this in order to be happy, while Maki's “happiness” lied in destroying what stripped her of her truest form of happiness.

Sorry for the long response, if you have any more questions about what I said please feel free to ask!

#dh🍵#danchou answers #danchou asks #maki and mai #maki is fine #mai is amazing #jujutsu twins

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purplekoop · 5 months

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Koop Talks About (#1)... Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves A 9th-Level Pleasant Surprise!

So the first of the movies I watched with my dearest partner during our thanksgiving meetup trip was the D&D movie, which... I'll be blunt, I didn't really expect much from. As much joy as I've had with DnD over the past few years, I don't really give much credit to DnD itself as a "brand". My memories come from the primarily homebrewed campaigns and thoroughly original PCs, saturated with house rules and whatever the hell I convinced my partner would fit in a DnD game. I even started a campaign of my own with an original setting, though it sadly didn't last long due to personal motivation. But all these memories I associate more with each game as separate entities from the nebulous basic concept of DnD, so an original story relying entirely on established official DnD monsters, locations, and characters didn't have much innate appeal to me.

Fortunately, Honor Among Thieves doesn't rely on pure DnD iconography and fanservice to be a solid film. It instead is a solid film on its own right, a fun and satisfying fantasy film that uses the props of established DnD material to tell a good story just as any Dungeon Master would. I have next to no complaints with it as just a movie, and the context of it serving as a big screen adaptation of a plausible DnD adventure smooth any gaps in its score for me. (Not that I'm scoring these things, don't expect THAT much from me.)

So let's start the in-depth topics where any DnD game does: the cast of characters.

What'd be of concern in a true DnD game but is more excusable in the context of a mainstream motion picture is the fact the movie has a clear main character: the questionably named Edgin, played by one of the Hollywood Chrises of all time, Pine. Pathetic as an alleged Bard (doesn't cast a SINGLE bard spell, he just sings a couple times, coward), Edgin is the cornerstone of the story, serving as the focal driving force of the plot and the (eventually assembled) party. We meet him and his longtime adventuring cohort, the barbarian Holga (played by Michelle Rodriguez), at the very start of the film, and follow their story throughout, from dramatic backstory retelling to the end. It's Edgin's story, which feels a bit skewed in focus for a DnD context, but I understand and agree with giving the story a definitive focal character for the sake of being a simple and cohesive film. It helps that his story is effective, with his character being charming yet flawed in a way that I thankfully think adds up to being likeable. Fortunate also that the overwhelming majority of this movie's "MCU dialogue" is confined to him, which I was personally unbothered by here. It contrasts a bit with most of the cast speaking in believable enough fantasy speak, but it fits for his sort of "scheming quick-witted bastard" persona, plus I guess also makes him a grounding point for an unfamiliar broader audience to attach to. The more modern speaking patterns are generally contained to the main cast of the four "player characters", so again, it's fair enough they don't keep the act quite as well as the "NPCs". I can see it be a bit grating to some, but personally I thought it was fine.

Oh yeah, I glossed over Holga. As great as she is, there's not much to say on her. Barbarians are usually pretty simple but great, lady barbarians are even better. She's not too "whimsical" of a barbarian, she doesn't say "I would like to rage" verbatim, much less do anything that looks like an active "rage state", but frankly it doesn't bother me too much. She's not too complicated, but she has some great moments, and has a subtle but solid performance.

Third of the four is Simon the sorcerer, played by Justice Smith of Detective Pikachu fame and also probably other things. He's the character with the second most "MCU dialogue", but his weird semi-accent he plays the character with hides it a little better. He's also the only one of the party's three casting classes to actively cast spells, but like. It'd be annoying to conveniently explain to a general audience what makes this magic different from this magic and this magic, so I get minimizing who actually gets to do casting. You could argue even that DnD has the problem of relying on casting as a mechanic a bit too much, but hey that's a different opinion ramble. Anyways Simon. He's fun too. He has the second most prominent story arc of the party, which while simple is still satisfying to see to its fruition. It's also fun to see an adaptation of wild magic specifically, which I do wish was extrapolated on further but again, I get keeping it simple.

Last up is Doric, the tiefling druid played by Sophia Lillis. Unfortunately she's also the least up, at least in screentime. She joins the story a significant portion after the rest of the main party, and while around for most of the ride she still feels a bit disconnected from the plot. After being shakily convinced to aid in the quest, she does get a really fun action scene to show off her wild shape abilities. While very much bending the technical rules backwards for most of her scenes with the ability (in some cases even impacting the official game, I believe the rules on what you can turn into were altered for the next major edition specifically to allow for turning into an owlbear like in the movie), I'm willing to ignore that for how fun they get with the gimmick. Again, slightly weird how her druid magic is limited to just wild shape, but again, it's fine, we're keeping it simple and approachable, I get it. I also get the choice to not give her the more conventional bright chromatic skin tone most players associate with tieflings. With the horror stories for how full-body painted live action characters have been on the actors (Drax being a notably egregious-sounding example), I don't blame them for keeping the demonic details restrained. The tail is cute at least, got that much. Her performance is also a bit low-impact, but she has her moments in the group dynamic, even if somewhat sparse.

The side characters meanwhile I have no complaints for. The hyper-competent temporary paladin party member Xenk (played by the eye-pleasing Regé-Jean Page) was a delight, both in the incidental comedy he brought and also the genuine sincerity he grounds the plot with.

The antagonists meanwhile are minor spoilers (though fairly obvious and short-term) so skip this next paragraph if you want to dodge those:

The glorious scheming bastard Forge Fitzwilliam (played by Hugh Grant, the glorious voice of the Pirate Captain from Pirates: Band of Misfits/In an Adventure with Scientists and nothing else possibly as important) is an absolute delight of a scheming love-to-hate villain, whose lack in actual threat besides financial power is made up for by the less entertaining but thoroughly menacing Red Wizard, Sofina (played by Daisy Head). They balance each other out nicely, and I feel like the movie's lineup of antagonists is both enjoyable and functional as a result.

Moving away from the characters themselves to how they're presented, the effects in this movies are faaaaaanTASTIC. The highest praises I heard sang for this movie in advance were towards its use of animatronics, suits, and other practical effects to depict some of the forgotten realms' more fantastical yet mundane inhabitants. About every other scene features a dragonborn, tabaxi, or aarakocra, which is brought to life with real, physical, classic effects. It adds such an element of richness to the world and makes the film feel so much more sincere. The more typical modern big-budget CGI effects are of course here in spades as well, but their presence feels earned and reserved for just the effects that like... yeah no, you're not doing that with modern physical technology. Helps that these effects also look good, which, yeah, they do. There's an effect or two for a gag that feels a little "modern" or otherwise out of place, but these are pretty sparse and still entertaining enough to pass as a suspension-bending bit that any DM with a sense of humor would allow.

I think that brings me to the last big thing that I think I need to give credit to this movie for: it works great as a movie, but it also feels right as a DnD movie. It's a well-told fantasy story that sets up and pays off a solid story with a solid cast in a beautifully depicted world. But just as much, it feels like DnD. The superficial references, like the specific array of iconic monsters the movie draws from and the names of locations and such, even the mechanics of certain spells and items, those are all great, and my partner especially adored some of the more niche references. But like I said earlier, DnD to me is just as much an energy, a feeling, as it is a set of rules and pre-built assets. It's the subtleties of how the party makes their plans and talks about their backstories, the way the world and adventure is framed, even the staging of the final fight scene, all bends conventional action film etiquette in favor of feeling authentic to the experience of playing DnD in a way that works shockingly well, all without shirking the film's duties as a film released in theaters for a mainstream audience. There's not really any moments where I think I'd need to explain something to my mom or anyone equally clueless on DnD's mechanics, they could just watch it as a solid fantasy adventure flick. It's two exceptionally well done layers of enjoyment, which I think is even more exceptional on its own.

So yeah, even to someone who literally knows nothing about DnD, I can recommend this one pretty comfortably. It's a fun action movie that doesn't fall into every pitfall of modern action movies, keeping a sincerely enjoyable solid story to the end. It's not groundbreaking, but it's still great. To someone who does know DnD... well uh, honestly my glowing review wavers a bit depending on how picky you are. If you're willing to excuse the mechanical inaccuracies and oversights for the sake of making the film a more accessible watch to broader audiences, then this film is even better than it is to those audiences. If you're not though, then... well honestly I think that's just as much a "you" problem as it is an issue with the movie. Yes I know nothing short of a level 20 druid can wildshape that much without a rest, just shut up and watch the lady turn into animals a bunch in this cool action scene, it's fine.

On a similar note to adaptations, the next two are also adaptations of game franchises: one that still thoroughly confuses my tiny brain, and one that I think I can confidently say I know a little more about.

#koop talks about things #dnd #d&d #dungeons and dragons #dnd movie #d&d movie #dungeons and dragons: honor among thieves #honor among thieves

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starlit-hopes-and-dreams · 11 months

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Word Find Tag

I was tagged by @i-can-even-burn-salad uhhhh, quite some time ago. Thanks for the tag! (and your patience) 😅💜

Working on edits for the Hidden Depths arc 2 chapters I've completed, so I felt like doing one of these for the first arc :D

My words: low, high, joy, sorrow, and knife

Your words: never, murmur, life, change, mistake

Tagging (no pressure!): @imaginativemind29new, @clairelsonao3, @little-peril-stories, and Open Tag

Uhhh, CW for um, minor character death? on the first word. Its not gory, i cut the quote before we get to the gore 😅

Low - two of these, but i couldn't resist this one :)

Suddenly, there was light, and Resh stopped moving when his eyes immediately filled with tears at the pain it caused. Covering his face with his forearm, he blinked furiously. He needed to recuperate faster than Creve, grab the upper hand while he could. He needed to beat the other man into a pulp before the guards dragged Resh away. The light changed angles, like it was on the floor now. A thud sounded, accompanied by a sickening crunch and a long, low exhalation. Resh blinked again, and his light-blinded eyes recovered enough to show him… To show him… The pickaxe lodged in Creve's temple.

High - this is the only instance of high that wasn't describing screams XD

They were the smart ones. Carr cocked her head, locking gazes with Istin. The stocky blond was the newest among them. Apparently, he was still riding high on the power rush because he didn't even look concerned. His mistake. Before he could even blink, she released the throwing knife from her right wrist sheath and threw.

Joy - i'm actually surprised i had this one (and only this one lol)

As much of a joy as it was to lie on his shredded back, it was even more fun trying to lie on his side. Why couldn't he have broken limbs on the same side of his body, for fuck's sake? And forget trying to lie on his stomach—it was next to impossible to get up from the cot when he did. That was a mistake he wouldn't be making again.

Sorrow - i didn't have this in arc 1, surprisingly, so have a sneak peek from arc 2 :D

Breath coming short now, she reached up slowly to brush aside his bangs, giving him every opportunity to move away. But he didn’t. The brand still looked angry, irritated from the sweat beading on his forehead, perhaps. Carr let his hair fall back into place, curved her hand around his cheek, which she found wet with tears when he leaned into her touch. “I don’t give a shit about the scars, Resh,” she said, sorrow lacing her tone. “You aren’t disgusting, and you don’t need t’ hide them. I’m not…” she paused, unable to lie to him in this moment. “I’m not… entirely… uncomfortable cuz of you. Mostly it’s not you,” she clarified.

Knife - oh dear god, the choices... ahh, a classic, which has a comic! :D (and also its not an explicit torture scene, so no warning! lol)

Marcus cut off the extra length, then surveyed him, twirling his knife in his hand. "I think I like the thorns–how did I never think to use them before? Would you like a necklace, Resh?" Resh stared. A necklace? Of thorns? He started shaking his head. "No, I wouldn’t. My lord, please, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have run, I was just… just scared. I'm fine now, I can work, I promise." The lopsided grin Marcus gave him looked boyish. It was obscenely out of place on his blood-spattered face. "Oh, you'll work, alright."

#starlit plays tag games #word find tag #hidden depths #resh is a sweetheart #carr doesn't give a fuck #minor character death tw #kind of lol

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yellowbluemoonshine · 7 months

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Hi, hope you're doing well.

Yuzuriha fanarts and, of course, cosplays seem to have skyrocketed after the anime's release and while this had a positive effect on the series' popularity, I can't help but think many people are missing out on Yuzuriha's character. Plot (and fan service -_-) aside, looking at her character individually, she's a finely written character. We don't get to see many logical and pragmatic female characters who can hold their own and actually fight without being a burden in Japanese media. And I find her, for lack of a better word, "tough girl" act overall quite satisfying especially when her concealed feelings were revealed and explored towards the end of the manga. This made me want to read her part in the light novel, which I am planning to do soon. Anyway, I was wondering what you think of her and her relationship with the rest of the cast and her relevance to the plot.

Hi. Thanks for the ask, anon. I hope, you are doing well too.

General Opinion on Yuzuriha;

And you explained really well. She is fine character but she is also used as fan service and comic relief a lot which is a shame so anyway, here's my general opinion on her and her relationships.

She is fine character;

She is smart. She cooparates with others in a situtions that she cant survive on her own. This also means a lot of interesting interactions between different characters. She fight well and she is independent. We dont have much female characters, especially good ones so its nice that she is in the story as good character. She is pretty. She gives fan services but at least, she still has character. She is femme fatale, a pretty woman who seduces men for her own gain and drives them to dangerous situtions. Her fighting style also fits this side of her. She is funny so at least she gives comic relief to the series. Most characters are too serious so sometimes, it's fun to have a character who is chill.

As personality, she seems to similar to Toma at first sight. They both are mysterious, kinda sadistic, they always give a smile and pretend to be trustworthy only to usually betray for their own gains and they both has earth element etc but i think she is a lot similar to Chobei in a way she is independent, she is naughty girl who wants to do whathever she wants. She is pleasure person. She doesnt care about shame to survive. She lies and she is very social, this part of her is a lot like Chobe. Only difference is Chobei wants to be leader and dominates others while Yuzuriha usually prefers to play safe. She has her own agenda. She is also very realistic or negative like Gabimaru. They both are ninjas, after all.

Though her motivation as villain was explored more because it would make sense why Sagiri is so protective of her and she would actuall have an answer to Isuzu when she said 'think about her victims and their families'. And honestly she has a point.

She is Good Big Sister;

The most interesting part of her for me is that she is actually good sister. She became ninja to gain money for her little sister. She risked her life for her many times and still tried to make her happy. And the reason she wants to live for long time isnt just because for herself. Its most likely a promise she made with her sister. And we only learn this when she is about to die, that story she told before is actually real. Jigokuraku is a story that explore humanity of criminals and Yuzuriha is one of them. She is not just bad guy for the sake of it. Her love for her sister and her motivation also gives depth to her character.

I think this wasnt mentioned enough because Chobe usually overshadow her as big brother but i think its different. I am just gonna say it. Chobei is crazy. His love with for Toma is crazy. Thats just him and Toma. Yuzuriha is good, great big sister actually and this should be talked more.

I am mentioning this because usually 'brocon/siscon' siblings love shine more but their love or obsessions is too much sometimes. So its sad to to see they overshadow just your usual loving big sister/brother. And thats very unfair.

Fake Death Scene;

I think this really ruined her character and made it hard to take her seriously after that fake death scene. She has clearly 'last moments' scene which is perfect way to end her character but she suddenly comes out of nowhere. And not only her survival doesnt make sense, and also ruined the death scene but also, her staying in story did nothing for the plot. Whether that scene shouldnt have portrayed as death or she shouldve stayed death.

(Similar thing happenned with Chobe but it was obvious that he survived with the way Toma hold him nad problem isnt him surviving at that scene but it show it happens and the whole baby thing is ridicilous.)

At least, this couldve been good chance to explore Yuzuriha's humanity tooo, but her backstory wasnt explored the way Gabi and Chobei's story was. Not just Yuzuriha, Toma and many other characters too, wasnt explored much. Though, i think thats one of the main issues with Jigokuraku. (Another issue is it shouldve been more 'dont tell, show' thing). We didnt explore much even though there were so many different characters, different interactions, there wasnt much development. For example, it would be interesting plot if some point she betrayed the main group but eventually felt regret and came back to them maybe.

Sagiri and Yuzuriha;

I think its fine ship but its full yuri fan service. My biggest issue with this is Yuzuriha suddenly flirt iwth Sagiri out of nowhere and at some point, Sagiri is okay? with it, also out of nowhere. If only we could explore why they suddenly attract towards each others (other than 'oh hot woman'). Like, why Yuzuriha suddenly likes her out of all people? Gabimaru also has idea of justice, just like Sagiri. She also has a fan, Senta who seems to admire her personality. And same with Sagiri too. She was so stubborn with her rules even against someone like Gabimaru who is victim but then she sayd 'you are not a villain' to Yuzuriha even though she doesnt know anything about her story.

Though logically you can guess Yuzuriha (also just like Toma) likes people who would do anything for her and protects her. There is a soft side to her. My only issue is that there is no development and their interaction seems out of nowhere. And also Sagiri always think about Gabimaru more than anything so its weird. But otherwise, i like fanarts. Their personality fits each others. Serious innocent girl x Chill naughty girl. Its very fun idea, but in canon story, i dont think its well explored.

Her Other Interactions;

I feel like her love for Sagiri overshadow her other interactions. She was like a big sister to Nurugai and Mei. She was good ally to Gabimaru after some point. She even teased Toma. She gets to be taught by handsome teacher Shion, that was her request. There is also interesting parallels between her and Senta. Senta who is lying to himself btu honest to others and Yuzuriha who is only true to herself but lying to others. He views her as free and admires her but her hiding hearth from anyone isnt a good thing so i wish we explore more of this. Its a shame we didnt get more of it. Anyway she clearly likes them too.

Summary;

I am not a big fan of her but i think she is fine character, her being good big sister should be talked more and i wish we get to explore her inner world and interactions more, same for other characters too.

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joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 1 year

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mario movie thoughts ig lol

I don’t really have any idea how to concisely sum up my thoughts on the Mario movie, so uh, to hell with being concise! Spoilers and also negativity if that bothers you

I’m absolutely gonna have way more negatives than positives so just gonna get the positives out of the way before I start complaining.

The effective intro to the movie is good. Mario and Luigi are set up pretty well as characters and especially as brothers that value one another. They’re embracing the plumbers from Brooklyn backstory and even giving Mario tons of new family members who can treat him like shit so that we want to root for the underdog and stuff. And it works, it’s endearing. Also full of general Nintendo references because hey, enjoy your 5 microseconds of spotlight Punch Out and Starfox fans lmao. Not gonna call this part flawless, but it’s effective at setting up the central conflict and emotional core of the movie. It’s also very much the reason that Mario finally rescuing Luigi at the end of the movie worked well, in fact that scene ended up being almost the only time I felt emotion in the entire movie lol.

I think Donkey Kong is done fairly well? The approach they take is effectively making him and Mario frienemies with more in common than they like to admit. They’re able to see themselves in one another through their poor relationships with their dads and while it’s not explored in uhh any depth at all I think it’s a nice idea, in general I appreciate that Donkey Kong’s history is recognised here and he’s given quite a large role in the movie accordingly.

On embracing the Brooklyn stuff, I think in general it’s nice how open this movie is in its appreciation for Mario’s history and lore. They’re not trying to soften Mario for the masses or anything, Bowser’s still out to marry the princess, Mario still eats mushroom to go big, Nintendo like recently said Mario’s not really a plumber anymore but he sure as hell is in this movie. There’s not actually too many more examples, but it’s still just nice to see a movie that’s unafraid of its source material. There are even a few ways it builds on the source, the thing sticking out most in my mind being DK and Peach getting to use the fire and ice flowers respectively, which is sick! We’ve not seen that in Mario before and it lets them have cool new designs and stuff! I’m about it!

The other big point of praise is of course that the movie looks and sounds pretty fucking great. These character designs are iconic for a reason and this animation brings them to life in a way we’ve never gotten before, with a Mushroom Kingdom at scale to match. It’s a stream of Mario iconography rendered in beautiful detail beamed straight into your eyes. And indeed, taking a series as musically rich and remembered as Mario and just giving those tunes movie composition worked super well, the soundtrack breathes even more life into the world. Even the voice acting was better than expected, Pratt was competent enough to work in his role and most of the rest of the cast give fine performances.

And that about ends the praise! Yep, really. Fuck, if anything I gave more praise there than I thought I’d manage to when I set out to write this. And so, let’s dig into where I thought the movie sucked.

The biggest thing I feel is wrong with this movie, by far, is that it concerned itself with looking and feeling like Mario, and then accomplished absolutely nothing else. There’s like nothing that happens in this that’s worth caring about in the slightest. It jumps from scene to scene to stuff as much Mario imagery down your throat as possible without letting you have time to breathe and appreciate what’s on screen for more than 5 seconds. Emotional beats are introduced and handwaved away in the span of mere moments for the sake of, what exactly? There’s a scene where Peach is evacuating the toads and tells main Toad to go, and main Toad says he’ll stay because he promised to protect her, and then Peach just smiles and the scene continues. No buildup, no catharsis, no actual character arc or growth or recognition of anything they’re worth - it just kind of happens in a 5 second window and then moves on. And then the whole movie feels like that. It knows it’s supposed to tell a story since hey it’s a movie, but it’s afraid of actually committing to that, so we just get literal scraps of interesting characterisation while the movie instead focuses on doing action scenes or telling shitty jokes.

And god for that matter the jokes really do suck. You can feel the sheer “this would be good in a trailer” for every single one of them. Haha Mario’s dressed like a cat and DK is laughing! Haha that cute baby luma with child voice is actually saying cynical edgy stuff! Haha the toads are calling themselves adorable! And because there’s no attempt to actually build on any jokes and create like actually interesting and funny running gags, it’s literally just a series of nonsequitor one-liners that exist for like... the sake of gifs? For parents to share on facebook? Or something? There’s a couple fun slapstick visual gags but the actual joke writing is just eye-rolling.

Also despite liking DK himself in this movie, I found the Kongs in general to feel super weird? Like I’m not strictly a Donkey Kong fan - I’ve beat Country Returns and honestly that’s about it - but for having praised the movie’s accuracy to Mario lore earlier I feel I should call out how little a shit it gives about Donkey Kong lore. There’s no attempt to embrace any aspects of the DK setting or original lore whatsoever, it’s all just new shit made up for this movie, things that outright contradict DK lore even. Cranky is DK’s dad now! That’s not correct! And not just that but Cranky is the fucking king? Of the Kong species and the Jungle Kingdom? Like what?? If the movie wasn’t really faithful to Mario this wouldn’t bother me in the slightest but because they’re so careful to accurately represent Mario lore it feels downright disingenuous to just throw everything that ever mattered in Donkey Kong out the window. Like yeah the movie is called Mario but guess what the first game with Mario was called, yeah? And on Kongs, Cranky is absolutely fucking unbearable. Like actually by far the most insufferably unfunny and atrociously acted character in the movie, bar none. I was actively annoyed when I had to listen to him speak, I’d take a whole cast of Chris Pratt over the voice that Cranky ended up with.

I’m also weird on Peach. I don’t necessarily mind the girlbossification - if anything she gets the coolest action scenes in the movie anyway and she ends up quite fun to watch for it, but they actively scrub away Peach’s usual self to that end? I’m down with her playing a leading role and getting to kick ass and not just being a damsel in distress but surely the polite pink super girly princess that she’s always been can also be a thing this movie recognises, right? It’s not out of character for Peach to be both at the same time, we literally have Smash! Most things Mario the series does are timeless and inoffensive with Peach being the only real holdover from earlier bad attitudes, but hey movie execs you know you’re allowed to have your cake and eat it here? Peach can bake cakes and be badass at the same time? Girls give me gender envy man I’m tired of seeing traditionally girly characters forced into the exact same badass cool girl mold, it literally feels more sexist to admit that you can’t be badass and girly at the same time. Mario’s an everyman, it’s hard to get him wrong. Luigi’s cowardly but rises to the occasion, despite a lack of screentime the movie still portrays the Luigi we know and expect. Bowser’s an evil fucking bastard that wants to marry the princess, the movie delivers exactly that. Peach is the missing link. The Peach we know and love, only half of her is in the movie. It sucks.

I’ve probably not emphasised the sheer lack of even remotely interesting storytelling in the movie so I’m gonna double dip to complain about Mario and Peach’s relationship. It’s just so, not a thing that feels written by humans. Peach is excited to meet Mario because he’s a human. Then she’s kinda just standoffish almost because #Girlboss. Then without him really doing anything Peach suddenly thinks of Mario as like her closest friend. And that’s effectively where they stay the whole movie. There’s not like a moment where it clicks that they have good chemistry or anything, there’s no established setting that sells me on their dynamic with few words like Mario and Luigi earlier in the movie, it’s just they’ve met and they’re kind of a thing. There’s even a scene where Mario like chats to Peach and DK is like “dude your flirting game SUCKS she’d never date you!!” and Toad is like “uhh fuck you she totally would!!” and Peach is just like “come on guys” all playfully, end scene. What’s the fucking POINT dude. This movie’s the origin story! And it’s being exposed to millions upon millions of people that have never stomped a goomba before! You can’t just “boy meets girl” Mario and Peach’s relationship in the context of a feature length animated film! There needs to be chemistry there needs to be development there needs to be conflict there needs to be something worth latching onto and there just isn’t.

Feel like I’m running out of specific things to say here so I’ll probably just end it here roughly. The tl;dr is that the movie’s good at being Mario but really bad at being a movie, and yeah as it turns out that’s absolutely a bad thing. Yeah maybe your favourite Mario enemy appeared and maybe you heard a familiar tune but did you get good writing? Or even a fun story? Nice humour? Anything that goes into a good movie? I get that Mario’s not story heavy so making a movie was a tough shot in the first place but there’s gotta be more that can be done than this. Game accuracy and following the lore doesn’t have to come at the expense of writing a good linear movie. It’s nice that we got game accuracy! But we should be aiming higher than that. Alas, we got the safe, bland, totally inoffensive and unmemorable Illumination movie we all feared we’d get. And somehow I’m still disappointed.

As a parting note, it’s 2023, post-credits scenes for life. This movie’s post-credits scene is woah a Yoshi egg and it hatches but cuts to black before we see what’s inside of it! With the “Yoshi!” voice line then playing! Gee I wonder. But fucking honestly, if the movie does well and we get this sequel they’re baiting. I don’t see myself watching it in cinemas at all. I’m sure I’d watch Mario movie 2 or whatever but at this level of quality? I certainly wouldn’t dare pay money for it. That’s all.

#mario #5.4.23 #josh reviews

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