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#i feel like they have a very silly dynamic
themultifanshipper · 2 days
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This was supposed to be a silly little blurb about giving Seb a blowjob, I don’t know how it got this out of hand.
Warnings: all of them. All the warnings.
Jk but there is sooo much in this fic. A bit of underage (but over 16), blowjobs, oral, p in v sex, rawdogging, rough sex, possessive Seb, a tad of subspace?, threesomes (if you don't want spoilers on the special guests don't look in the tags), voyeurism, undernegotiated dom/sub dynamics all over the place, infidelity (his IRL wife is included), smidge of angst but it’s really not the point of the fic lmao, mention of drugs and alcohol, I don’t condone anything I’ve written here guys. Although the warnings make it sound worse than it is tbh.
July 2007
I suppose you could say it all started when you were 13 and Sebastian had just been transferred to Toro Rosso.
Obviously nothing happened between you two given that he himself was 20 years old at the time. Although your childish crush on him had started way before that.
No, what happened at 13 was an embarrassing moment that got the ball rolling between you and Seb.
That night he was over at your parents’ house for a celebratory meal, for you, it was your birthday, for Sebastian Vettel, it was the beginning of a long and illustrious career.
Your father and him were good friends, Seb helped a lot with your brother's career in karting and you’d always been around the handsome blonde man. At various karting events with your brother, a gala here and there, and even at a couple of f1 races he had driven for BMW. By this time your crush was well and truly established, and subtlety not being your thing, your family knew all about it. And teased you relentlessly. And apparently now invited your crush to your birthday dinner... great.
Seb and your father were in the kitchen having a drink and helping your mother with the food when you heard your fathers voice drifting through the house.
“Man, think of all the blowies you’re gonna get!”
After a sharp scolding from your mother, the two burst out laughing and that was that. But the damage had been done.
At 13 years old, you had no idea what that meant. So you asked, at dinner, in front of your family, and your crush, what a blowie was.
Yeah, that went down well (pun intended, and note the sarcasm).
Your (15 year old) brother choked on his mouthful and shrieked in laughter, spraying your mother, who then slapped your father who was laughing maniacally beside her. Seb just went incredibly red and grinned “You’ll find out when you’re older, sunshine”
Okay, maybe the nickname should also be explained, after all it is the result of a previous embarrassing moment of your childhood.
It was at a karting track before a race and you were hanging out with your brother, some of his friends, and Seb. Or more accurately, you were following Seb around like a lost puppy. At this point you were 9, your brother 11 and Seb 16.
Someone had heard a dirty joke from the older boys at the track that went something like this:
“What is big, makes no noise, yet wakes us up every morning?”
And with your very innocent, very smart 9 year old brain you replied “the sunshine” which was supposed to be the right answer, but boys will be boys.
16 year old Seb thought that answer was hilarious.
“That is so adorable” he was wheezing “from now on I am calling you sunshine”
You were so embarrassed at not understanding the joke that you ran back to your father and told him about it, and he told the boys off sternly.
So anyway, there you were, a few years later, at dinner with your parents reliving that in your head, and living through yet another mortifying moment in front of Seb, who looked at you sympathetically from across the table, and kept sending you winks all throughout the evening, to try and make you feel better.
That night you looked up “blowie” online (of course a few days later the browser history conversation happened with your mother) and you were never the same again. You couldn’t stop imagining Seb getting blowjobs from all the girls he was indeed going to get, and it gnawed at you. For years. Of course, you knew you were too young for him, but it didn’t stop the fantasies from getting rather... wild.
2010 
You were 16, and Sebastian was about to win his first championship, you were sure of it. You were all in Abu Dhabi to support him (and the others of course) and you found yourself wandering into his drivers’ room just as he was putting his fireproofs on. You had expected his girlfriend Hanna to attend, but luckily for you she was busy, and you were going to make the most of that fact. You ogled his body for a second before he noticed you staring and grinned at you as he put his top on.
“There’s my sunshine!” You jumped into his arms like you’d done so many times before. “I was wondering if I’d get to see you before the race”
‘Of course! I'd consider myself a bad friend if I didn’t come to wish you good luck”
He put you down and dramatically threw himself on the sofa.
“Yeah! I’m going to need it”
“Oh, come on Seb I’m sure you’ll do great” You sat down next to him and put your hand on his knee, squeezing slightly. “If you want... I could give you a good luck present” you slid your hand slowly up his thigh and his leg jolted slightly “If you know what I mean”.
He glanced at your hand before looking back into your eyes, you could tell his mind was racing, obviously going in the right direction. “No, I don’t know what you mean” He gulped as your hand went higher and you batted your eyelashes at him.
“You know, I’m not the innocent kid who didn’t know what a blowie was anymore, I’ve learned a lot since then”.
Seb’s pupils were wide, and you could feel his fireproofs tenting under your hand. “I could show you if you’d like”.
You squeezed his cock over the fabric, and he grabbed your hand “Fuck sunshine, I can’t let you do this, you’re sixteen for fuck’s sake”
“Don’t act like you don’t fuck girls on the daily, Seb” You jumped up off the sofa and into his lap, straddling him.
“Yes, but I’ve known you since you were a baby, and you’re still a minor, Fuck-” Your hand had slithered its way into his fireproofs and was squeezing around him like a vice.
“I’m past the age of consent, Seb, you know that. And I know you’ve thought about it. About me. You’re not as quiet as you think you are when you come round to our house, you know.” You trailed sloppy kisses down his neck and chest, over his fireproofs as your hands got rid of the bottom half.
“Shit, aaah-” He hissed, and his resolve crumbled under your touch. “Fuck”
“Please Seb, please let me suck your cock for good luck” You purred, and he let his hands grip onto your hair as you nosed up the length of his now exposed cock.
He was staring into your eyes, guilt written all over his face as he nibbled nervously on his lip. “Fuck, sunshine what are you doing to me”.
Instead of answering, you took half of him into your mouth and sucked. He cried out and bucked his hips involuntarily, making you choke slightly.
“Shit sorry!” His concern was adorable, but unnecessary.
“Don’t worry Sebby, I trained myself out of a gag reflex, just for you” and before he could say anything else you sank down on him to the base and the noise he let out was inhuman. His head fell back, and his eyes rolled into his skull.
Yeah, you’d definitely been practising. And you were unbelievable.
He did end up winning the race, and the championship. And you grinned at him when he looked down at you from the podium, shaking his head and laughing before almost getting drowned in champagne by Lewis and Jenson.
2011
The next year you showed up in his driver’ room at the Japanese Grand prix, per his request. You knew this was the race that would potentially secure him his second championship win so you strutted in, pushed him onto his little bed in the corner and kissed him senseless as your hands started undressing him immediately.
“Tell me, Seb-” You got his shirt open and trailed kisses down his chest. “Do you think you’re capable of winning the championship on your own this year?” Off went his trousers “Orrrr…” then went his underwear “Would you like a blowie, for good luck?” You grinned at him, mouth hovering inches away from his rapidly hardening cock.
He grinned back at you, slightly breathless. “I think-” he sat up and pulled you in for a quick kiss “you can never say no to a good blowie”. He lay back down, arms behind his head, and that was all you needed to get to work.
He did in fact win the race, and the championship.
You couldn’t make it to Abu Dhabi however, and he got a puncture on the first lap.
 Figures.
2012
You celebrated your 18th birthday with Sebastian, one on one. He took you out to dinner during the summer break. You had finally finished school and were moving on to other things. You had no idea what those things would be, but you were excited none the less. He’d managed to convince Hanna he was on a business trip to meet a sponsor, but you didn’t think for a second that she bought any of it.
Sebastian told you all about the intense race for the Championship, given you weren’t able to attend any of the races before the summer. He had apparently taken to relieving stress by fucking anything that moved, and that included some of the other drivers. You couldn’t help but imagine him being bent over his massage table, reduced to a begging mess by his teammate. Everything Seb told you about Mark got you riled up before dessert had even been served, and you couldn’t help but wonder if that was his goal all along.
When you got back to his hotel, the real birthday celebration started. And it lasted all bloody night.
All the things Seb had thought about doing to you since the very first time you’d asked what a blowie was, he did to you that night. All the tension accumulated over the years finally boiled over, as he brought you over the edge so many times you lost count, with his mouth, his hands, his cock. He was going to ruin you for anyone else.
“Nobody can have you like this, can they?”
“No Seb just you- Fuck!” You panted as he pounded into you from behind, pressing you against the massive hotel windows, facing the city lights.
 It was almost romantic. Almost.
“You think anyone can see you from down there? All those people that don’t know how good you’re being for me.” The thought of being seen made you even wetter and you whined. He only chuckled.
“I’m sure if Mark were walking past, he would love to know what is happening up here. Would you like that? Would you like Webber to watch you come undone on my cock?”
You didn’t even need to answer, you cried out in pure extasy as you came for the umpteenth time that night and then slumped against the cool glass. The only thing holding you up being Seb’s arm around your waist and his other one propping your leg up as he trapped you against the window, grinding into you as he came inside you with a groan.
“Well sunshine, I guess that’s a ‘yes’ then, hmm?” He whispered in your ear before pecking you on the cheek. He lifted you up, carried you to the bed and went to get a cloth to clean you up with.
You giggled when he came back “You know Seb, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re so obsessed with Mark that you want to show me off to him. Is it because you want him to approve of me? Or be jealous? Or do you just want to flaunt your amazing skills in bed that I’m suuure are better than his?” You were obviously just trying to rile him up.
He laughed dryly as he wiped you down but didn’t reply. Perhaps you’d struck a nerve. He didn’t mention Mark for a long time after that.
You couldn’t make the race in COTA, so it was critical for you to be at Interlagos with Seb. You got a plane ticket several days before and gave him a good luck blowjob every single night, for good measure.
He won, of course.
2013
2013 got real weird, real quick.
For starters, you were 19 with no job and no idea what you were going to do with your life, but you spent all your time around older millionaire formula 1 drivers. You were basically an honorary member of the team by now and had a free paddock pass for every race you could attend.
Then, there was the issue of Seb living with his girlfriend, so you couldn’t stay at his place anymore, and in the rare instances where you and Hanna saw each other, the other drivers became exceptionally awkward around the both of you.
The last thing was, Mark didn’t win a single race all season, and Seb was a huge dick about it. He strutted around Mark in the paddock like a peacock. And he took you to every other GP to fuck you in his drivers’ room when he knew Mark could hear you from next door, just to drive him crazy.
It all came to a head in India. The race that secured Seb his fourth consecutive championship.
He was fucking you in his drivers’ room (more like railing the absolute shit out of you) on the long sofa that lined the wall. Face down, ass up, you were being loud, no longer caring about Mark hearing you.
Then, his phone started buzzing, Mark’s name flashed across the screen, along with an unflattering photo.
Seb answered it, put him on speaker and set the phone down next to your head.
“Would you two keep it down, the whole bloody garage can hear you!” Mark hissed.
“Yeah?” Seb answered “Hear that, sunshine? Everyone can hear how good I’m fucking you” His hips kept slapping against yours obscenely.
You moaned and Mark scoffed “Sounds like she’s faking Sebby, I guess those championships must be compensating for something...”
“Why don’t you come in here and say that to my face then Webber” Seb spat before hanging up.
You gasped as he grabbed your hair and pounded into you harder. “Seb! What-”
“You like having an audience, admit it.” He growled “You’d like nothing more than if Webber stormed in here and-”
He hadn’t even finished his sentence before Mark did just that. He was standing at the door, flushed, as if he’d sprinted over.
You turned your head to look at him but before you could say anything, Seb slowed down to a hard grind inside you, making your eyes roll back and you let out a shaky moan.
Mark’s eyes were scanning you and Seb, checking you both out. And obviously enjoying the view if the tent that was forming in his fireproofs was any indication.
From his angle he could see where Seb’s cock was buried inside you, where you were literally dripping down your thighs and onto the sofa and he let out a gasp. “Fuck Seb, she’s so wet”
“I guess she’s not faking then” Seb said smugly, picking up the pace again.
A lack of response from Mark prompted Seb to sigh and beckon him over.
“Don’t just stand there, come sit down, this will take a while”.
“What?” Utterly fucked out, you twisted your upper body to look at him, the confusion on your face matching Mark’s.
Seb smirked at you. “We’re going to play a little game, okay sunshine? I’m going to make you feel good, and Mark is going to watch. But you cannot come until he does, understand?”
Your jaw dropped, and he gave a hard thrust. “Understand, baby?” He repeated and you nodded quickly.
He turned to Mark “Well? You don’t want to be the reason she can't come, do you? Get to work.”
“Shit” Mark looked half murderous, half ridiculously turned on as he slowly lowered his suit and freed himself, starting to work his dry hand up and down his cock slowly and Seb chuckled “Put you hand out”.
Mark did as he was told, confused, and he almost combusted on the spot as you spat on his hand.
“Wow, she’s such a good girl, isn’t she?”
Seb groaned, as if Mark was talking to him. The older man’s presence was finally getting to him.
Mark’s hand inched towards your face, but Seb slapped it away. “No touching, she is mine”.
You tightened around him, about to come when he abruptly pulled out. You whined and squirmed as your orgasm faded, but he just shushed you and turned you over onto your back roughly, almost knocking the wind out of you. “Shhh baby, remember the rules?” He was rubbing your hips soothingly as he spoke “Mark has to come first, I’m not the one you should be begging”.
You turned to the other man.
“Please Mark, please, please come. I need to come so bad, Mark, please, fuck I need it...”  You were almost babbling at this point, and Mark melted.
Sebastian swiftly slid back into you as Mark’s hand picked up the pace on his own cock, glancing at your writhing body and at Seb. You tightened around him as you felt yourself get closer to the edge again. The two men were grunting and looking straight at each other as they moved, almost as if they were trying to get each other off. Their weird power play was tipping back and forth, and you were caught in the middle. Not that you were complaining.
Mark came all over himself and you felt Seb throbbing inside you as he started rubbing your clit to get you off faster, the sight of his teammate was affecting his self-control, and he was getting closer by the second. You came together, and he slumped over you, his legs and arms giving out.
Mark was panting and you looked at each other, having a silent conversation while Seb was recovering. He got up to go and get cleaned up in the small adjacent bathroom.
While he was gone, you stroked up and down Seb’s back and whispered in his ear “You okay, Seb?”
He sniffled into your neck before replying “Yes, I’m just a bit overwhelmed.”  He lifted his head to kiss you before flashing you his signature grin. “I’m a four-time formula 1 world champion!”
The two of you giggled and he dropped his head back down and sighed contentedly, planting lazy kisses on your shoulder.
Mark came out of the bathroom and laughed silently at Sebastian behind his back. You scowled and the two of you argued with your eyes again. ‘Congratulate him you prick!’ Your eyes said.  He rolled his before walking up to your entangled bodies and put a hand on Seb’s shoulder, making the younger man shiver. “Congrats on the title, mate. But there’s a few races left, I could still beat you.”
Seb snorted “Sure, if you say so. Now you can fuck off”.
You smirked at Mark, and he slinked out of the room without another word.
Well needless to say he did not beat Sebastian. And he promptly retired.
 2014
It was a shit year for Redbull, Seb DNF’d in Australia, Monaco, and Austria. He didn’t win a single race, but his new teammate Daniel did, and that was a sore subject. You lost count of the amount of pity blowjobs you gave him that year. He came to visit you often to lift his spirits, but you could always tell the season wasn’t going great, and it was taking a toll on him.
The one good thing to come out of that season was that you travelled around with him a lot, Hanna not being particularly interested in attending races. He was certainly rich enough to pay for your flights and hotels (not that you needed separate rooms most of the time).
You were the first person to know about his transfer to Ferrari. And you were both very excited about it. New team, new start, hopefully new championship wins.
Unbeknownst to you however, Seb had added an extra condition when he negotiated his new contract...
2015
During winter break, just before Christmas, Seb came to see you in at your parents’ house. That’s how you found out that he had gotten you a job at Ferrari, as part of his contract.
You were elated. It meant you would be around each other a lot more, and you could start pulling your own weight, feeling a little guilty that Seb had sort of been your sugar daddy for the past few years, not that he minded of course. And it also meant no more sneaking around and avoiding cameras at races to not alert Hanna to your presence at Seb’s side most of the time, not that it was really a secret anymore, you two weren’t discreet around the other drivers, and the drivers were all fucking each other as well anyway so no one cared.
As tradition dictated, you gave Seb an obligatory blowie to celebrate his Ferrari contract and your new job. And then, your parents being out of town, you had wild passionate nasty sex on every surface, as you wouldn’t be seeing each other for a few months, until the season started.
Needless to say, there would be no Championship win celebration blow job in Abu Dhabi, that year.
2017
It was your 3rd year working on the media team at Ferrari. It was a blast, you were severely overpaid, and you got to spend most of your time with the man you were having intimate relations with. Who could ask for more?
In Silverstone, Seb made a bet with Kimi. They were high (not on adrenaline, just high) and decided to wager on who would finish on top in the race. Kimi got a podium while Seb only got p7, but Kimi not being a man with a huge imagination, he had no idea what favour he wanted. So, it dragged on for months, until one day you were filming a promo video in Singapore with them, and his mind suddenly came up with the answer.
“Her” He pointed at you from across the room. Seb feigned innocence, pretending not to know what Kimi was inferring.
“What about her?” he asked tentatively.
Kimi smirked devilishly. “I want her. For the bet, you know. I want to watch you. To see how disappointing you are in bed”
He was only teasing, but he knew exactly how to get under Seb’s skin. So he agreed, and he asked you, and you agreed. Great. Kimi Räikkönen was going to watch you have sex, no biggie. After all, you’d done it before with Mark, this would be fine.
After a frustrating double DNF, you all went out to karaoke. You didn’t think Kimi was the type, but he showed up to the bar already three sheets to the wind, so you figured he wasn’t really there for the singing anyway.
Kimi was giving you sultry looks all night, which sent shivers down your spine. You’d never considered the man to be the epitome of hotness, but you couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to spend a night with Kimi. Was he passionate? Or was he just as ice cold as always?
You would soon find out as the three of you piled into a taxi back to the hotel, both Seb and Kimi’s wandering hands distracting you from trying to give the driver the address.
On the way, you’d ended up with Seb’s mouth on you neck and Kimi’s hand up your skirt, gently teasing you over the pathetic peace of fabric you called underwear.
By the time you were up into someone’s room, who’s room it was was impossible to say, your senses were engulfed by the two men. Kimi was behind you, trailing his mouth over your neck and shoulders and holding you up, while Seb was on his knees between your legs, one of them hooked over his shoulder, tongue eagerly working itself over your needy pussy as his fingers worked over that special spot deep inside you.
You came like that, then Seb stood back up and asked, “How was that, sunshine?”
You scoffed in disbelief at the question “It was amazing as always, baby. Are you going to fuck me now?”
He raised his eyebrows at Kimi, like ‘disappointing huh? I think not’ then pointed to the chair in the corner to signal to Kimi to sit in it, and led you over to the bed and put you on all fours.
He was halfway through railing you into next week, one hand holding your arms behind your back and the other around your neck, when Kimi piped up from the cuck chair.
“Can I come on her tits?”
Seb paused mid thrust and you whined “What do you think, sunshine? You want him to come all over your pretty tits, baby?”
“Yes, Seb, anything just keep going please!” You begged, but he didn’t move.
“Ah, ah, sunshine, be a good girl and tell Kimi what you want him to do to you”.
You huffed and looked at Kimi, who was observing you with hooded eyes and his mouth slightly open as he pumped his cock leisurely, waiting for an answer.
“Yes Kimi, please come all over my tits, I’ll be a good girl for you”.
The two men groaned in unison, and Seb picked up the pace again. He wasn’t going to last long, and neither were you, so he flipped you over onto your back and slid back into you quickly, beckoning Kimi over. He circled your clit expertly and you both came together fairly quicly, while Kimi watched and pumped his cock furiously, not far off as well.
“Go on then Kimi, give it to me” you gasped, sticking your tongue out for him, and that was it for the Finnish man.
He came in spurts over your chest, face, and mouth as he let out a shaky groan, finishing himself off before finding his pants and leaving with a simple “You two looked good” and winked at you. Truly a man of many words.
You and Seb laughed together, the adrenaline coming down as you both cleaned up and snuggled up under the covers.
“Weirdly, that wasn’t horrible” You giggled, and Seb acquiesced.
“You know, I think I like sharing you.” Seb kissed your temple, and you hummed, sleep almost taking you before he added “How do you feel about David Coulthard?”
You gasped and slapped his shoulder lightly “Oh my god he’s ancient!” and Seb scoffed, offended but let it go, sleep overtaking you both.
But he didn’t forget.
2019
All Sebastian could talk about for months was the eager twink Ferrari had dumped in his lap. So of course you had to have a taste. Or rather...
“My goodness Charles, you have got to taste her”.
Charles looked at you for permission before diving in. Even though he was younger than you, he obviously had experience as he brought you to the edge in no time. He got you wet and shaking before Seb has even finished taking his clothes off. You gasped as the waves of pleasure washed over you as Charles continued his assault on your weeping pussy. Seb only yanked him up by the hair after your second orgasm, and he looked absolutely wrecked. Face covered in your wetness, lips swollen, and eyes completely glazed over. Sebastian leaned in close to speak softly in his ear, making the younger man shiver.
“You want to fuck her Charlie? You want to fill her up properly while I fuck her pretty little mouth?” He said, while maintaining eye contact with you. Charles nodded a bit too enthusiastically and you both laughed at him.
Lucky for you, Charles’ cock was thick, and he stretched you out wonderfully while Sebastian fucked gently into your mouth. You were on your hands and knees, shaking through your 3rd orgasm when Charles finally came inside you, filling you to the brim.
While he cleaned himself up in the hotel bathroom, Seb turned you over and slipped inside you with ease. He started a maddeningly slow rhythm as he wrapped his arms around you possessively, and you tried to cling onto him, but your arms were useless at this point.
When Charles came back out, Seb didn’t even look at him as he told him he could go, so he didn’t push his luck and scarpered.
“Only I can have you like this” you preened under his touch, his hands gliding over your body, pinching your skin, and then soothing it as you went completely mad underneath him.
“Please Seb” You babbled mindlessly “I’ll be good, please, please just- “. Your eyes closed of their own volition and your head rolled to the side, losing all motor skills as he continued hitting that spot deep inside you. He grabbed your jaw and made you look back at him “You’re mine, aren’t you? Only I can make you beg like this, right sunshine?”
You wailed as you came around him, your final orgasm of the night taking its toll on you, rendering you completely boneless. And you didn’t move at all while he slipped out and got up to get you cleaned up. And you barely registered the bed shifting as settled under the covers with you, holding you gently, like you were the most precious thing in his world.
That year, Seb got married to his childhood sweetheart.
2022
The next time you saw him outside of the paddock was at his retirement party. The whole grid was there, plus his family, his friends, your family, and a bunch of other people. And his wife.
It was a proper retirement bash, and most people were at least tipsy within an hour of their arrival, Seb insisting on everyone getting shit faced to celebrate.
You snuck up to his bedroom and sat on the bed. You sighed longingly, it was surely the last time you would get to do this.
Seb came up a few minutes after you, after making sure someone was occupying Hanna.
He opened you up on his fingers, mouth mapping out your body, as if trying to imprint the feeling of it on his tongue. Once he slid inside you, it took you both an embarrassingly short amount of time to reach your peaks, but you did so together, your foreheads pressed together, breathing in each other’s air, hands scrambling for purchase on each other’s bodies. Then staying wrapped in each other’s arms for far longer than was necessary.
It was bittersweet. The end of an era.
Once you were both decent, you went back down and ensured that only good memories would be had of this party, lighting up the dance floor, lighting up the bar (you made flaming cocktails, which someone *cough* Charles *cough* spilled on the bar), all the while laughing, and crying a bit, with some of Seb’s soon to be ex-fellow drivers.
Epilogue:
It was Suzuka 2023, and you’d been waiting for this moment for months.
Seb’s bee house project was great for the bees and all, but it was even better for you.
The evening of his arrival at the paddock, you were buzzing (pun intended) with excitement.
When you spotted him, you shrieked, scaring a couple of engineers nearby, and ran towards him. It was a bit unprofessional given that you were still very much an FIA employee, but you couldn’t help it, you jumped into his waiting arms, like you’d done so many times before, and squeezed the life out of him.
“Sunshine!” Seb smiled as he lowered you back down.
“Old man!” You said and he rolled his eyes.
“I’m not that old”
“You’re retired, and I have work to do!” you said, as you started walking away.
“Doesn’t mean I’m old, means I had a successful career!” he shouted at your retreating figure.
“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Grandpa!”
Cut to a few hours later in his hotel room.
“Are you sure it’s okay for old people to get blowies?” You mocked as you got down on your knees between Sebastian’s legs “Like, you’re not going to have a heart attack are you?”
“I think.” He gripped your hair, bringing your mouth to his cock.
“You can never say no to a good blowie”.
The end.
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I made like 15 puns in this, I hate myself. If you got the Harry styles reference at the beginning, congrats, you're old.
I'm going to hell, but it's been fun guys! I'll see you all there!
Taglist: @babyprofessorsharkpalace
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malcontentonline · 3 days
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hiii, I already adored your art from the comic of metal and hoki and married Kkgai - and to now see you put kkgai in founders time is giving me so much dopamine 💥 any chance you could elaborate on the dynamic between Madara and Gai ? :] how does he interact with the other founders ?
thank you very much for the kind words!!!
(Sorry I took so long to answer this I wanted to finish a lil comic I’ve been working on that basically contains what would have been the first meeting of madara and gai in the fic but that is going to take a fair bit longer so I hope you don’t mind me just answering with some doodles)
first up the dynamic between the founders, gai and kakashi is as follows:
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The black haired guy at the top middle is kakashi he actually is in disguise most of the story because he’s trying to be really careful and not alter the timeline too much.
This causes its own set of problems when gai after being told by kakashi to stay put and not interact with anyone (gai was not meant to join kakashi in the past and they weren’t meant to go back so far so kakashi is a bit disoriented) mistakes madara for his eternal rival and interferes with an ambush to help him escape unscathed. Madara witnesses here the 6th gate for the first time and decides to kidnap gai and keep him as a prisoner until he’s figured out what the heck gai did to spontaneously get stronger.
Gai tries to figure out the lest future changey way of escaping and finding the real kakashi while madara tries to figure out gais deal generally. Eventually gai agrees to spar with madara on the condition that madara sends people to search for his rival.
Their sparing matches are actually really interesting! Gai is exceptional at countering the sharingan but madara is a far more experienced fighter both of them are a fan of a good fight so they actually end up growing closer through these fights (this relationship development would actually have been a large part of the story)it doesn’t help that they both remind each other of their respective rivals, so they sort of fall into a closer relationship than they would naturally because they both miss them so much.
Their would likely be dashes of madagai in this story but ultimately they’re not each other’s endgame so it would only really manifest in like madaras musings about what a world where they got together might look like. As well as the occasional crisis of faith from gai where he weirdly feels like he’s cheating on kakashi despite them not actually being together till the end of the story.
So yeah hopefully that illuminates the dynamic a bit more :]
here are some silly doodles:
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frozenjokes · 1 day
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grian jokes about leaving them for mumbo tho. splayed dramatically across mumbo, who came over and is trying to read his emails on his phone, attempting to ignore the fact grian is rolling around him like he’s a human jungle gym
a note from future Elsa: I started to ramble. None of this is coherent. Thanks for being a vessel to allow me to yap though.
I do actually find it silly to think about eventual cumscarian. maybe more. like the polycule just keeps growing. all of our friends, into the pot. it’s the most monstrous QPR/actual romantic mix you’ve ever seen, none of it is labeled, none of it makes sense, and then BOOM. hermitcraft.
(In an eventual future) anyway Grian probably would do this. And then he’d realize he wasn’t joking. And then they’d all have to have a conversation MDNDNDNDNND. but yeah if mumbo doesn’t want to be treated like a jungle gym maybe he shouldn’t be so tall and lanky and a pushover.
Genuinely though Mumbo has a very interesting dynamic with all three of those losers and I think it would be fun to explore each of their relationships /platonic/ separately from each other because they’re all very different. Idk if this will actually happen or if I will have moved on to something else, but here are my thoughts.
Obviously, Grian and Mumbo are besties. Estranged for a while, but their relationship now is pretty healthy with Mumbo setting very firm boundaries that Grian understands and follows (besides occasional instances of forgetfulness or not thinking, but as time passes and old wounds scab over, it matters less and less). I have zero planned major conflict for these two and I don’t imagine that ever changing. Just a steady, healthy friendship.
Mumbo and Cub are interesting to me as mutual friends of Grian who never quite Clicked despite living together most of their college years. Cub makes Mumbo a little bit nervous because he’s so difficult to read a lot of the time, but I don’t imagine Mumbo has ever really gotten Cub in a place where they can talk about shared interests (of which they have quite a few!), an environment that Cub would have a lot more energy to bring to the table. Cub likes Mumbo, but He Can Tell that Mumbo can’t really relax around him most of the time, and since he’s not a very outgoing person he kinda just. Doesn’t try to do anything about that. He’s very used to being regarded as cold and thinks it’s too much effort to try and change minds. Cub I think also has misinterpreted Mumbo’s perception of him though, probably not realizing that Mumbo would like to be closer, he just doesn’t know how to go about doing it. (Cub often assumes most people would rather not bother with him, not necessarily in a self deprecating way, more neutrally toned) Cub doesn’t know either. They would both feel awkward about it. I think the ideal way to put them together would just be to drop them in an escape room or something. Give them a puzzle. Let them problem solve together. I imagine they’d butt heads a little in their Autistic Fervor to PUZLEPUZZLEPUZLLEPUZZLE SOLVEOLEVSOLVESOLVE BE VERY STIMULATED but in the end they’d appreciate the input of the other person in places they got stuck and really respect each other in that way. From there they could move forward.
Scar and Mumbo is tough here because Scar is a little bit obsessed with him and in that obsession just continuously breaks Mumbo’s boundaries like he’s crashing through drywall and Mumbo is just Tired of him. Scar is a Pest. While Mumbo and Grian could bond initially over their distaste of Scar, I imagine as time went on Grian would start to realize someone needs to pull Scar aside and tell him straight up he’s being an asshole, because Scar doesn’t always Get It. What is to Mumbo and Incredibly Annoying inconvenience is interpreted by Scar as a back and forth fun game, and he doesn’t understand that Mumbo is serious, that the way Scar is acting isn’t fun for him. It would take a bit for Scar to understand. Scar’s outlook and interpretation of the world around him is pretty stubborn and he isn’t the most empathetic person and struggles sometimes to connect that the way He would feel about [blank] isn’t universal to everyone. But he would get there. And when he’d apologize, he’d mean it. Mumbo would know it, and I don’t think this au Mumbo could hold a grudge to save his life. Too much energy. So the turnaround on his and Scar’s friendship would be pretty fast; neither party going out of their way to talk to each other, but with so many mutual friends it’s pretty inevitable. And it would probably be nice. A little weird getting to know each other for the first time after years of (forced) talking, but they’d jive. I bet they’d both be into board games. They could be weird about them together.
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waiy let me uhhhh let me look around here i mist have a good confession for your queue around here somewhere
ummm rummages around sounds of squeaky toys, a theatre mask, a baby crib, two singular croutons, a worm, a cocktail shrimp covered in sauce, a dog, and a hatsune miku poster falling
IIII THINK that pillby x mach is overrated !!!! i think theyd be really silly friends but i dont like them as partners!!!!! feels weird to me idk . but i LOVE friendship dynamic of “hyper serious god with dark backstory” and “silly little caterpillar who is very round and sad:(“
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glitchyko · 2 months
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I saw these ocs from @complete-clownery and I just think they’re neat so I drew them
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year
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Instruction on Courtship
[First] Prev <--> Next
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psychicdisaster · 2 months
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The. Idiots.
(affectionate)
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kagoutiss · 1 year
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undercover sheik au again, in which i think its also very funny if sheik realizes impa and ganondorf have confoundingly similar personalities
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riot-control-camp · 23 days
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OKAY NOT DONE TALKING ABOUT THE LITTLE GARDEN ARC
ESPECIALLY THE NARRATIVE PARALLELS BETWEEN ZORO AND SANJI AND DORRY AND BROGGY??? THE FACT THAT THOSE PARALLELS PARTICULARLY IMPLY THAT THEY HAVE A SPECIAL BOND THAT WILL LAST LITERALLY FOREVER???
THE VISUAL WHERE THE AUDIENCE REALIZES THAT THE MOUNTAIN RANGES WERE SKULLS?? PAIRED WITH THEM LYING IN THE SAME POSITION AS ZORO AND SANJI'S TWO DINOSAURS LEFT BEHIND ON THE BEACH?
average tumblr user notices single instance of symbolism, more at 11.
but usopp getting more moments of bravery!!! WE STAN HIS ARC!!!!! I LOVE HIM!!!
zoro getting to laugh and tease people this arc was beautiful, i love that stupid cunty bitch
sanji getting his part of the arc done through cunty trespassing, lying through his teeth, and beating up animals? FANTASTIC THANK YOU FOR MY LIFE (specifically thank you for that twisting move he did with his heels around the vultures head. how does it feel to live MY. D R E A M)
LUFFY WAS SO SHAPED. I WOULD KILL FOR HIM. HE'S SO FERAL.
and calling it now, nami is absolutely going to get malaria girl is the QUEEN of "it's nothing [2 episodes later it is in fact a resonant Something with excruciating plot relevance and emotional stakes attached to it"
almost simped for crocodile but miss all sunday was Right There MA'AM. MA'AM. RESPECTFULLY AND ASEXUALLY, TILL THE BED FUCKING BREAKS--
also he has a giant gold pet which i don't fuck with. also his rings remind me of redd white from ace attorney who is Unfuckable as he is a murderer of a mentor figure (other forms of murder have not detered me from simping in the past. in fact it is typically a point in a character's favor)
also oh my god tumblr makes so much more sense now that i am attempting to use it while high, my fluency rate and understanding of how every person on this platform is distressingly and hilariously comfortable assuming their experience is universal
okay but the still of the giant's weapon shards thrown over their head in victory? makes me insane, will never be over it cannot fucking handle it will be crying forever and ever
#oli oscillates#one piece#one piece little garden#however one thing i will say also is i read a zosan fic wherein sanji asked zoro when zoro knew he loved him#and zoro answered 'little garden' which after seeing this arc i sense that that is BULLSHIT#i feel like that's probably when he started FALLING#as there is DEFINITELY a shift in how zoro talks to him in that reuniting scene. like the vibe of that was different#but zoro would not. realize that yet??? i genuinely don't think#like#like they have only been a consistent crew for arlong loguetown and the laboon arc?? (not counting apis as she's anime filler#and i skipped it)#i think this is when zoro would start QUESTIONING why he cares so much about who wins between him and sanji.#why he's so desperate to be relevant to him. why he has to give as good as he gets#and i think sanji respectfully#IS NOT THERE YET. his character from what i understand at this point in the show is.#well the POINT of his delivery is that he has three faces. how he treats women how he treats men. and how he treats someone he fights#(the last of which is implied to be the “truest” version of him--the iron core that makes him worthwhile as a Good Guy Deep Down tm)#and consequently a member of the strawhats)#i would love to see how future arcs handle the interaction of those three dynamics or a more unified sense of self for sanji#because much as i am down bad nasty for him there's this profound like. i almost want to say insecurity in him that makes him feel--#very wet cat traumatized. he gives me “unloved as an early child and therefore has a fucked up sense of self or love as concepts” vibes#it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't fall until much later than zoro#anyways#mutuals forgive me for holding you hostage in the tags accidentally i have had the goofy silly
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fluffs-n-stuffs · 1 month
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"Cuhut it out- you guys!" "Nu-uh, not until you're all perked up first! You don't want those gym challengers meetin' with an ol' mopey leader, do ya?" "Whitney's right, dear friend. No need to hide that beautiful smile of yours, alright?~"
What it takes to cheer up Johto's beloved ghost boy 👻💕
#some incredibly self-indulgent fluff for my own sake SKJDFSNDFS#Morty was having one of Those days where the weight of his responsibilities as leader and expectations as someone meant to bring back Ho-Oh#-felt a little too heavy to handle (more so than usual)#luckily his best friends (and mayhaps crush of nearly an entire decade) are here to take a stand against his low mood 🤼#I've been having brainrot of Whitney's dynamics with these two alrighttttt they all deserve to be silly with each other#best wingman award goes to this girlie for putting up with these two's mutual pining antics for years sdkfjskjdfh#the way I see it Morty and Whitney were besties way back before they had even become leaders (with Morty being the older between them)#there were definitely rumors going around between their towns about how they're an item#when the reality is that Whitney's more focused on winning the affections of the other cute girls she hangs out with#while Morty's a repressed gay lad burdened with religious guilt SDJFHUISJDNFS /LH /LH#the second Whitney caught wind of Morty actually developing a crush on someone you just Know she was on his ass Immediately#asking about aaall the details--who he is- what he does- how he dresses- if he could even conceivably pass her standards of how a--#--fitting partner for her best friend's meant to be#to which an incredibly exasperated Morty struggles to answer because Eusine is just beyond his comprehension /affectionate#when Whitney does eventually get to meet him in person the first time she most certainly takes a jab at his fashion sense SDKJFSDFNS#BUT they do end up getting along a lot better than Morty braced for- which was a huge relief to him#it soon reaches that point where Eusine's secretly asking her for details on the things Morty likes and how to possibly impress him#all the while Morty's asking her for advice on how he could cope with his feelings when he's still unsure on whether they'd be requited#Whitney finds the whole ordeal simultaneously very funny and perhaps one of the most frustrating things imaginable SDKJFSKDNFS#enough of me yapping thouuughhhhhh I should save that for its own post 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️#pokemon tickle#gym leader morty#morty pokemon#gym leader whitney#whitney pokemon#mystery man eusine#eusine pokemon#eusine#lee!morty#ler!eusine
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sysig · 2 months
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Incomplete exchange (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#Max Vyer#DAX#*throws idea spaghetti throws idea spaghetti throws idea spaghetti throws#So Max and ZEX changing places - what if that but This lol#It would also be funny to watch Max stumble around in ZEX's body lol but considering ''how'' ZEX got isekai'd...#Not much left probably :| Dark#Really I'm just fascinated by throwing the almost-dynamics into relief hehehe - DAX and Dex so similar! And Max and ZEX similar in some ways#How would DAX react to Max :3c How would Max react to DAX! One of them knows the other - at least at arm's length - but not the other!#Seeing a VUX ''in person'' would probably be a whole other feeling as well haha - there's a familiarity when he's inhabiting ZEX's POV#Still thinks he's dreaming because I mean - would the reality be any easier to swallow? No lol#I guess this would be a scenario before ZEX dies since y'know - DAX is here haha - unless this is some afterlife something???#Both Max and DAX /would/ be dead in that scenario - or would they?? Haha the grey area is the funnest to play in <3#I think it'd be very interesting on DAX's end as well - obviously Max is very different from ZEX but if the language thing works both ways#VUX already have the translators of course but like - Max speaks very differently from ZEX he formulates his sentences very specifically#But if the way he attacks the words the way his accent moves the sounds around - if he speaks like ZEX but not /like/ him - s'interesting!#Would probably confuse the heck out of DAX haha he knows that voice very well!#By the transitive property would that make their accent space New Jersey? No that's too silly haha#I really love Max just dropping years and events out of the blue haha - very important! Written down! Kept track of!#A lot of things he doesn't pay much attention to but he's very careful with his dream data I'm love him <3#I also had So much fun drawing his hands here hehe ♪ His hand expressions have quickly risen to being my favourite :D#ZEX doesn't express with his hands! Which means it's a Max-specific type of thing in his body!#Tells <3
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averlym · 9 months
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which is gayer? SIX or Adamandi (real)
adamandi
#like. gotta break it to you. one of these musicals is canonically lgbtq and it's not the one where women sing about their dead husband yknow#like. idk what to say! but <shrugs>#ask me stuff???#must say the fandoms are really quite different. i'm quite fascinated by the dynamics tbh#also i realise a lot of the queendom(? forgot that was the name for a hot sec) go mad about women in shiny pretty costumes slaying#but also hmmmm adamandi is very much gender for me.( for all the characters. but specifically vincent and beatrix)#and the thing about queerness is it literally gets woven into the narrative. and it's Obvious.#smth about canonical lgbt+ rly is just. it hits. the representation is real? as opposed to fandom interpretations only#(and like... i love fandom interpretations and when people can see a new side to the character that they feel seen in!!!)#(but having it be in the original content is just... yeah... you do feel kinda especially seen)#watching adamandi was a bit like first watching firebringer for me? like except for sexuality it was gender o.O#firebringer was the first musical i saw with a canon wlw couple. and like i'd known that girls could like girls for a while but#there was the small italicised oh moment where i was like ''this is actually real'' <it's maybe worth noting i wasn't very active on soc me#about consuming things other than content. so i wasn't very exposed to the community at large. so representation in media mattered!!>#similarly it's been a while since then and both online and irl i've found people who are more open about it and accepting. i've been very#very lucky in that sense. to have specific irl friendgroups where we're all out to each other <based on sentiment? i think most of us#including me. aren't openly out irl> ... and online i'm really glad to have friends who Get It and are similar to me. but the representatio#... !!! omg hsnfjkfgdsdsghf yknow?? the representation in adamandi really got me. the pronouns thing especially.#and because the core source material is Like That.. existing fandom is all accepting already. so bonus points i guess#sorry i have turned this silly little question into a reflection prompt.. but. thoughts.#[wow. on further retrospection i've never outed myself at all online either people just saw the ship art and Inferred and]#[to be fair they were Not Wrong. idk. tumblr avvy is very vastly different from irl me but neither of us feel comfortable stating it so-]#[also worthy mention of the musicals fandom that exposed me to the whole concept of lgbtq+ being a Thing at the ripe young age of 14]#[what a way to discover it. really. i say this with extreme fondness. conversely i have friends who decided through genshin or anime so idk#<i'm aware of the diverse casting thing for six!! i think it's very cool!! i also realise the show plot doesn't really have much to do w it
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musical-chick-13 · 2 months
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Regarding the previous post, I think the way I approach trying to evaluate a piece of art is asking "Do I think the positive things I get out of it outweigh the parts of it that I don't like?" And when I call something a "guilty pleasure" song/show/book/piece of media/etc. it's really more in the sense of, "Given who I am as a person, the flaws I've found in this should be complete dealbreakers for me, but somehow they aren't, and it makes me feel like I'm having an identity crisis."
#like. I think something like...idk shiki or cxgf excels on multiple levels. I understand why I like them. given the things I look for in art#it makes sense that these shows would speak to me because they make the effort to showcase those things I look for. because the people#in charge of those works clearly valued the same kinds of things and cared about seriously exploring them.#but with something like. uh. ctrlz. that is NOT the case and I frequently found myself going 'why would anyone make this writing#decision?' but I still sat through all 3 seasons of it! I still really enjoyed it! those flaws SHOULD have made me give up according to#personal history but they never did. and I very very much genuinely question why. I have NO IDEA why I still care about this#silly convoluted teen drama show so much. but I do. I wrote SO MANY FUCKING POSTS ABOUT IT.#I really love wicked the musical. I've heard many people call it 'hokey' or 'cheesy' or 'objectively bad' but here's the thing! I DON'T#think it's bad!!! like literally at all!!!!!! and it does do some genuinely cool things in regard to the music and the way the characters#develop and what the show says about the nature of prejudice and human connection. is it like. idk Serious™ the way that something like#Parade is? no. but it doesn't have to be. it does what it sets out to do and it does it well and this is why the whole '''objective#evaluation''' thing doesn't actually mean anything. I value thoughtfully-constructed music and dynamic female characters#(which this musical has). I value stories that deal with the complex and messy feelings that come with being a human (which this musical#has). I value stories about 'other'ness and romantic subplots that aren't just built on 'This Girl Is Pretty' (which this musical has).#and I value professional displays of technical vocal ability because I know how fucking DIFFICULT that is (which this musical...if you cast#it well...has).#if you value something else in a musical then yeah you will probably think THIS one is '''objectively bad'''#if you don't see the point of musicals as an art form you will probably think wicked is '''objectively bad'''#do you see where the problem with categorizing analysis like this is??
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tomatoluvr69 · 3 months
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What’s up tumblr hope you had a super fun leap day. sparkle on. big news my first seed start sprouted while I was at work ✨
#might have to change the url bc I’m in my collard era lol#my day was alright#I ate some shrimp curry that I’d accidentally left out all night and was fine bc I’m a scavenger of a person#then bc I started to feel PMDD fatigue I laid in bed with great elan til my shift started#then I spilled coffee all over my work clothes bc I stuck it in a very sketchy travel mug someone left in our house at the last party#and I listened to Screamin Jay Hawkins on the ride to work which was fun#work was a bit chaotic but uneventful and got to spend a huge chunk of it outside#it seems I have way better ball control than I did when I was a kid. whyyy now. i was such a loser I could have used some athleticism#but I’m so glad it’s the weekend so I can go palliative care mode which is what I call my lizard brumation pmdd phase#and stopped by a friend’s house after work which was nice#really rejuvenating#then made a sort of weird frittata w/ beets peppers and potatoes bc I was too tired to actually cook#watched sense and sensibility 1995 and really liked it although I found myself wishing for a bit more anguish. sorry#and I think I might set out one of the frozen almond croissants to proof overnight so I can bake it for bfast tomorrow#will go for a very short swim but probably only about 30 min bc of aforementioned fatigue. then pick up yogurt and a silly little treat#and will have ****** and **** for dinner either tomorrow or Saturday which will be nice#but really hoping Saturday because **** **** ** **** lol#and then Sunday I’m trepidatious about because **** was like what are you doing Sunday and I’m like well I guess having a fraught and#difficult conversation about our dynamic! lol#I’m very lucky to have proactive friends who are good communicators. truly I do not deserve his kindness. but like. god. let me retreat and#lick my wounds!#i shan’t get into it. but just know I know how S&G felt#and then another work week but I’m starting to really get a feel for the routine and what works and what doesn’t#and I’m excited for my next few meal preps we got millet and kale gratin#and a Lebanese chickpea dish the name of which unfortunately escapes me atm#but my mouth is watering thinking about it. saw a vid and was instantly influenced and went to the pantry to see if I had the stuff and I#dooooooooooo#and I do feel like I’m beginning to get past the worst of [event] and its sadness
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galadrielspeaks · 1 year
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this is totally random and based off of vibes but gimli gives off older brother energy while legolas is DEFINITELY the youngest child but the youngest child that was heavily influenced by their older sister
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bendybonesss · 1 year
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may or may not get mobbed for this but i feel like the yellow guy age debate is too black & white ....... "4 year old or 40 year old, make your choice now" or we could . like . chill out
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