fucking, god, he called his ship Theseus. Oh god im not ready to face this epilogue stuff in actual visual form oh jeesus
Dirk, Dirk pls. no one can take you seriously now that we can actually SEE your Villain-Sona.
oh god, the second hand embarassment is real.
Alright so there seems to be like, a tinge of Rose existing as her own person, doing things that Dirk dislikes, but its in conversation only, so it seems facetious.
The other true thing though is the narrative is entirely Dirk’s perspective, and Dirk is exactly the kind of person who would absolutely love and believe he was capable of subsuming another person’s soul and idealogy entirely, but we went through this deceit in the epilogues with John and Roxy as well, with John’s unquetionaing hold on reality and what is canon also seeming to have an unconcious warping effect to whatever John thought was important, but Roxy gave a good point of how do you even know you did this and i didn’t choose it or wouldnt have chose it? you dont
So we could see that being repeated here, either as a parallel of that or a subversion, remains to be seen
“ Speaking of which, I think it's time I started undoing some of the more egregious mistakes this story has been subjected to over the years. Yes, I'm talking about that guy. The other orange one. Remember him? Vriska got stalked by him a bit and it was uncomfortable for everyone concerned. Anyway, the point is that he fucked up big time, and I'm here to clean up the horseshit. It's time to get this story back on the rails, back to what it was always supposed to be. I know it, and you've somehow always known it too. There was something else, some other route that Homestuck was meant to take but then didn't, a way that wouldn't've spent so much time dicking around with stuff nobody cares about. Like seriously, why did we all have to sit through talking about everyone's most intimate and private feelings for two hundred thousand fucking words. That would never have happened in Act 1. Where did it all go wrong? “
lol the andrew hussie is peeking through a bit here, so Homestuck2 is gonna be the exact thing I figured a sequel would be, its going to be a sort of retelling of the story, but its gonna flip the importance for certain things in the opposite directions, so right here its saying Homestuck is a story with a layer of importance on the characters themselves and their mindsets and how they lived in the environment they found themselves in, with the lore and the conceit of the story being a huge creation story more of a backdrop than the focus
so Homestuck2 is going to be a more "creation story” focused more on the sburb lore, buts its going to have less of a focus on the characters (perhaps even to the detrimnet? maybe characters will seem strange and out of character? but he kinda already made that feeling i the audience with the epilogues, thats what that intended effect was)
and neither one i think will turn out to better or worse than the others, theres definitely going to be benefit and downsides for both, but its not hard to see that Homestuck1 is the story that Hussie wanted to Tell, and Homestuck2 is how he’s changing it and telling a different story than he originally would have in the first place
not that hes changing Homestucks orignal story at all, but now hes telling a decidedly different one
Thus far, even though I understand Dirk’s basic mindset being “Hussie’s story sucks im gonna tell a BETTER one” and deciding that he alones gets to decide others will is unquestionably villainous train of thought, like why cant we let the characters just decide for themselves what kind of story they wanted to have and be genuine..
I AM dying of curiosity to see what sort of lore and information were going to get out of this, especially with the twist of that sort of focus being brought more into view, it’s a tantalizing glimpse of something very sexy that im into...
WORLDBUILDING :p
The World of Homestuck to me, HAS always been more infinitely exciting and interesting to me than the characters themselves, even though i liked them fine, they werent the reason why i kept reading the story for sure
Anything little thing we get about sburb or the world system out of this im happy with, regardless of what happens to the characters
(Would that be considered a villainous mindset if I was in canon? maybe ^^; good thing im not lol it does give off very “evil mad scientist morally corrupt experiments” kind of vibe lolol)
“ Look, I know what you're all really craving. I've been studying canon—or rather, what's left of it—and I think I've found it. The critical moment, in the wake of which everything started to take a nosedive into the protracted, endless slog of sheer insufferability we got saddled with near the end. This was the single most crucial error in the process that led to the present situation. The day when the story was wrested screaming from the arms of its readers like a bawling infant and carried helplessly away, from then on to be raised according to the whims of a masochistic menace with no thought for you, the common fan. “
I do have to laugh at this though, because your not wrong??? but also, it was inevitable that a story that started out like homestuck and was written like homestuck and ended like homestuck would inevitably turn out the way it did
it was a communal product of the screaming masses that turned into a singular mans story, it was unfortunately going to lose something to everyone, because everyones ideas couldnt all coexist in one canon at the same time (thats what outside of canon is for)
and then Dirk does something I DIDNT expect him to do
“Channelling my full potential as an ascended player of Heart, I expand my consciousness to commune with the boundless force of collective willpower that is the internet. My mind floods with its divine potency, a million formless cries coalescing into a sequence of discrete, formal instructions. It is a maelstrom as chaotic as it is deafening. And yet from this formless, uninterrupted spate of hard, unembellished data, a single suggestion takes form, as if bubbling up from a vast, infinite ocean of possibility. It is a whispered prayer to a compassionate god whose ear attends faithfully the will of his believers.Ok, let's see what you chucklefucks came up with.“
instead of entirely subsuming other’s will like a villain would, he has instead opened up his heart and conciousness to absorb the ideas, suggestions and wills of the masses, he is literally trying to bring back the act1 flavor of homestuck by taking suggestions, be he is ironically doing something no different than hussie did by curating and choosing which one to respond to
hah! he really does think he is the hero of this universe with Hussie as some sort of villain.
So Hussie has probably intentionally curated this idea of himself as “Author Villain” who drives the story seemingly into mud by seeming to reject and upend the audiences expectation rather than curate them and bringing forth the best out,
this happens with the epilogues undoubtedly,
and this environment has gown a character from inside the story to step out and try to “oust” him from this position and instead tell a “good” story one that “everyone” wants, but is in fact detrimental to the story and world that the characters inside it themselves wants, which is was Hussie curated the whims to in the epilogues instead of the audience
So maybe this will be a “good” story, and hit all the marks for what the audience wanted originally, but there is no benevolent force to make sure a happy ending exists for any of the characters inside of it, because what the characters want doesnt matter anymore, only the lore does
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The Tilt-Shift Effect
Warnings: swearing, alcohol, brief mention of drugs
Author’s Note: i think i spent too much time on this honestly i dont even know how i feel abt it
playlist
Word Count: 6.2k
–– a phenomenon in which your lived experience seems oddly inconsequential once you put it down on paper, which turns an epic tragicomedy into a sequence of figures on a model train set, assembled in their tiny classrooms and workplaces, wandering along their own cautious and well-trodden paths.
Ashton had wealth, but he ate his cereal out of two-dollar plastic bowls from Target. He owned fourteen, specifically, so he could let them pile up in the sink for two weeks before he was forced to accept the grimy challenge of washing dishes. He had the cabinet space to hold up to twenty-one, though he figured that was a bit excessive. His laziness could only be condoned for so long. If he chose to purchase more, he’d be better off hiring a maid.
Sometimes, Ashton took up weird hobbies during his downtime. His works of crochet were hung on the walls of hallways, and his ceramic mugs got their daily use through early morning coffee fixes. Once upon a time, he tried beading, and his old girlfriend received most of the precious pieces. He had to do something other than songwriting or else it would fry his brains out.
He purchased a new pair of winter gloves the other day. He lived in Los Angeles–– he didn’t need a pair of winter gloves, let alone a new one. Ashton wasn’t spending money on pointless things because he was bored of his life. No, he loved his time on tour with friends. He loved sharing moments and memories that would last forever. And then, he would be home again, cooped up in the confines of his expansive home with fourteen plastic bowls and crocheted hallways. Ashton needed his life to be fast-paced, otherwise, he’d start beading again.
A few weeks ago, he considered writing a novel. He purchased a Nalgene, hiked up whatever mountain was closest (while simultaneously sweating enough to fill his new water bottle three times), and jotted down whatever emotions slammed into his head. He was hit with nothing. The destructive instinct of tossing his journal into the deep brush overcame him, and Ashton decided that if he were to write a novel, he’d need to go somewhere a bit more inspirational than the dry mountains overlooking smog city.
He suffered from tinnitus quite often, especially on airplanes or any high altitude above sea level (to be exact). Maybe it was partially due to his career as a drummer, or maybe it wasn’t. Whatever it was, and whatever the reason, he despised the perpetual ache. It ruined any social event or interaction for the two days following, but in this case, it ruined his right to think. After packing for twenty minutes, Ashton sped to the airport, his ear already clogged from the mountain climb earlier that morning. The information desk was his first destination, and then it was wherever from there.
“’m sorry, Ash, but you’re where?”
Ashton took a glance around at the baggage claim area. So, he could take the silver line, get a taxi or a limo, or schedule an app ride to wherever he was going. It was good to know he had options. But what the hell was the silver line?
He chuckled. “I think I took a flight to Boston.”
The other end of the phone call was silent.
Truth be told, Ashton hadn’t meant to fly to Boston. He hadn’t been tremendously picky when it came to choosing the final destination, so he picked a random time off of the top of his head, and whatever flight was scheduled to board then, he’d buy a ticket. Boston it was.
“Why the fuck are you in Boston?” Luke wondered, his sentence ending with a lilt and a laugh.
Calum entered the conversation. “Are you having an emotional breakdown?”
“Did you try beading again?” Michael quipped.
Ashton had to chuckle once more. He wasn’t sure he would ever tire of his friends. “Needed t’get out of LA, mates. To clear my head.”
“So, you chose Boston?” Luke spoke up through laughter again.
“’s not a bad city,” Ashton replied. The loud buzzer by his baggage claim began to sound, and a second or so later, the first suitcase tumbled down. “There’s Cambridge, too. That place can be pretty.”
“I think Ash will make the perfect Bostonian,” said Michael. “He gives off perfect Masshole vibes.”
Ashton snorted. “Thank you, Mike.”
“Anytime.”
Ashton noticed his bag was the fourth to slide down on the conveyer belt. “So, uh, does anyone know what on earth the silver line is?”
-
There are ninety-five to a hundred billion nerve cells in the human body, and right now, Ashton could feel every single one. The safari app on his phone had close to ten tabs open purely to help him understand the train system, but then he ended up freaking out and taking a Lyft instead. He had started to realize his mistake in coming here the moment he finalized everything with his Airbnb in Back Bay (wherever the hell that was). He could vaguely remember a few designated spots him and his mates hit for yoga or brunch when they had been in the city, but they were never here long enough.
The penthouse he was renting lacked activities, but the bathroom was nice. The lighting made his pores stand out a bit more than usual, so that was another downside. Also, he was two inches taller than the showerhead. Otherwise, he loved the place. The roof would be a nice touch if the temperature outside hadn’t frozen his nips off through three layers of clothing. With a sigh, Ashton tossed his belongings to the floor and collapsed onto the couch.
So, he didn’t know why he was here or what he was going to do while he was here. He hardly made it out of the airport alive, and he assumed that, once people knew he was here, walking the streets would be a damn nightmare. Maybe he could give himself cabin fever and write down whatever psychotic thoughts came into his head. That would be an interesting novel.
Ashton didn’t know what he was thinking, but he did know that he needed a fucking beer. And, like all great cities, there were plenty of bars.
However, despite the lovely array of bars, he needed a place that was lowkey. He needed the place three blocks west in its eighteen-table glory. He needed the distance murmur of conversations from old friends and regulars, and he needed that sharp sting of tequila sloshing down his throat. What he didn’t really need, was the live performance taking place in the closet-sized underground bar, but he felt bad that the ten people in there hardly gave a shit.
Ashton listened from a small round table by the wall. He didn’t know why–– maybe it was the alcohol, but the light strum of guitar and angelic singing voice traveled through every ninety-five to a hundred billion nerves in his body. His heart connected to the lyrics, the strings plucking as if it were on the guitar. Maybe this was why he was here.
You had noticed him from the corner of your eye, though your hands only froze for a split moment before you flickered your gaze back to the few men on barstools. This was the exact reason you had to perform with a lyric sheet before you–– unexpected guests like Ashton Irwin would wander in and listen to you sing.
Truth be told, this was your first time performing in front of a big name, and you were somewhat upset you had worked through your headache to be here. It should have been a sign when your guitar took twenty minutes to tune and when two cars almost ran you over on a crosswalk. It should have been a sign when your vanilla latte from Pavement burned your tongue and made you cry.
But here you were, singing lyrics you no longer felt with a shaky voice in front of a man whose eyes were glossed over from the alcohol. At least, that was what you assumed. His thumbs darted to the inside corners of his eyes and rubbed along the water line. You absolutely could not believe it. You had made him cry.
“Uh, thank you,” you said into the mic. Only Ashton was watching you, so truly, you were thanking him. “I’ll be back soon with some happy songs, I promise.”
He cracked a smile.
You had your back turned for under a minute as you put your guitar away, and when you stood to go talk to him, he had already gone.
-
“I’ve tried approximately seventeen coffee shops in the past week, and only four of them sold bagels, and two of those four had comfortable seating,” Ashton explained. With his phone nestled between his shoulder and his ear, he darted around the kitchen, a spatula for his eggs in one hand and a bottle of orange juice (for some reason) in the other.
“And, how many of those places had good coffee?” asked Calum.
Ashton sighed. “Seven.”
“How ya gonna narrow it down, then?”
Once he set down the bottle of juice, Ashton placed his phone on the counter and pressed the speaker button. A buzz of white noise filled the large kitchen. “Well, two of the seven had bagels, and one of those had good coffee, good seating, and bagels. But the problem is, those bagels weren’t that great. So, like...”
“Life really sucks for you,” his friend replied with a quick chuckle.
“And I still haven’t figured out how the fuck to ride the train, so I’ve spent like two hundred dollars on Lyft rides because I can’t walk, and– “
“Are you doin’ okay, mate?” Calum questioned, worry lacing his tone while Ashton struggled with scraping the eggs off of the pan and onto his plate.
He thought for a moment as he turned off the burner. “I’m– ‘m not doing bad. Jus’...” Ashton sighed. “A part o’ me doesn’t wanna leave, but I don’t have any reason to be here.”
There was silence on Calum’s end for a moment as well. Meanwhile, Ashton was pouring his juice. Truth be told, it was close to one in the afternoon, and he was just now having breakfast.
“And like,” he mumbled before letting out a quick huff due to the small juice spillage on the counter, “I feel kinda stupid. Like, I literally hopped on the first flight that caught my eye. I coulda gone to Milwaukee, or I coulda gone to Paris!”
“Boston’s pretty cool,” replied Calum.
Ashton shrugged to himself. “There was this really good singer at this bar the other day. Thought she was cute n’ all.”
“Did you get her number?”
“No,” he said. “I– I left pretty quickly. Dunno. I panicked. I haven’t been back since.”
“Why?”
“Dunno.”
“You should go back.”
Ashton’s brows knotted together. “Y’think?”
Calum let out a laugh. “You’re acting like a fourteen-year-old.”
Ashton sighed.
“Yeah, go back,” his friend continued. “Why not? If she’s not there, try one more time. And if she’s not there again, go to fuckin’ Belize. Ash, ya flew to Boston on a whim. You’re feelin’ burnt out–– you want to write a fuckin’ novel for Christ’s sake, mate! Maybe it’s all a path that leads to her. I mean, ya never know if you don’t try.”
Ashton nodded as he poked and prodded at his peppered eggs with a fork. They had cooled significantly now, and his hunger was only growing stronger. “I’m supposed t’be the wise one. ‘m older.”
In response, Calum snorted and uttered out a meek “yeah, right.”
“I’ll– I’ll go back tonight.”
And, Ashton did. His stomach twisted tightly as his long legs took him in quick strides across bridges and down busy streets. He kept his head down the entire time, his thin sweatshirt hood loose against his untamed hair (he hadn’t thought to put in the energy). The cold bit, and he figured he would have to invest in a nice winter coat from some store down Newbury. He heard it had a lot of nice stores.
The bar was quiet again, the same few guys still situated on their stools as if they hadn’t left in six days. He paid for a beer – didn’t matter what kind – and stalked towards the same table he had sat at before. Everything was the same, but you weren’t there, and he assumed you wouldn’t be. For a second, he hoped he had gotten the time all wrong, or maybe he had imagined the whole thing. Moments later, his beer had gone down a few centimeters, and you were rushing down the stairs with your guitar case on your back and a music stand in your hand.
“Sorry, sorry Stewart!” you yelped after banging the shoulder of one of the men at the bar.
“Jesus, Y/N, you don’t have t’rush,” he joked, but you continued on hurrying to get your things set up. “We’ll be here all night.”
You huffed. “Well, how ya gonna have an enjoyable night without me?”
Someone else chuckled. “I’ll drink to that.”
So could Ashton. His heart rate had tripled since you raced in wearing your cute bee socks. He hoped the flush of your skin meant more than the freezing temperatures outside, but he wasn’t entirely confident you had noticed him sitting there until you were situated on your stool.
“You missed out on the happy songs,” you said as you – to his surprise – gazed over at him. “That’s okay. I’ve got a few more in store.”
Ashton didn’t cry often when it came to happy songs–– he truly thought his reactions to music were pretty conventional. Somehow, you were able to evoke more emotion than he even knew he had. His beer had more tears in it than alcohol by the end of your set. He wondered why no one had discovered you yet, but then again, you fit perfectly in the position you were in: playing for only him to listen.
He wanted to do what Calum suggested. He wanted to talk to you and personally get your name without having to know it because he overheard it from Stewart. For some reason, every ounce of confidence that Ashton had spent years developing in the music industry stood no chance in comparison to you. He darted as soon as you smiled his way.
-
Ashton had burned through four bottles of Naked juice by the next evening. It was his compensation for hardly having a thing to drink at the bar simply because his brain chose to be infatuated with you for that short amount of time. Also, he bent the shower head by accident, and he almost locked himself on the roof last night when exploring.
In the morning, he had briefly forgotten where he was. There were ten texts from friends awaiting him as he fumbled with the coffee machine in the kitchen, and most of them had something to do with him flying across the country to a city that hardly mattered a thing to him. Ashton chose not to answer any of them. He didn’t owe anyone an explanation for his decisions; however, he felt as though he owed you his ears. You deserved to have someone who cared about your music.
You, on the other hand, had been hoping and praying that the previous night would run smoothly. Ashton had no reason to show again, and you assumed he had only been in town briefly. And then, he hid in the corner once more, eyes trained hard on you as the tears threatened to spill. You had to blink a few times to make sure your mind wasn’t playing tricks on you. This man played arenas holding thousands all across the world. You played for your roommates and middle-aged drunkards in a bar with a maximum capacity of thirty. He should not have been there.
Though the nerves were still there as you played through John Denver covers and original songs that would only see the inside of the bar, it was nice to have someone new listen in. It was numbing to only play for Richard, Frank, Steve, and Stewart. Now there was Ashton, the famous drummer who somehow found his way to Boston and somehow wandered into the same bar you played at a few times a week. Had someone filmed you and posted it online? Was he here pretending to be a talent scout?
You needed to know. But Ashton was good. In that same minute you were putting away your guitar, he slipped out again.
So, you figured he wouldn’t show anymore. Nobody of great importance stayed in Boston long enough. And then, he did show. For the third time in a row, Ashton was giving you his full attention, and you weren’t sure how you felt about it. He showed a fourth time, and then a fifth. A whole two weeks had passed, and he was still showing up.
By this point, you convinced yourself that it was a-look-alike.
Ashton, meanwhile, was convinced that you were the reason he was here in the first place. He didn’t know if it was the cute giggle that escaped your lips when you slipped up on the chords, or the crinkles by your eyes once you let yourself get lost completely in a song. Or, maybe it was the precious pout you wore when there were mic difficulties.
It was possible he had become a bit too hooked.
“What even is there to do in Boston?” asked Luke while Ashton was busy avoiding ducks and squirrels by the edge of the pond. A part of him considered dropping his phone into the shallow waters, but his friends needed to know that he was doing okay.
“Uhh,” Ashton glanced around, the dead leaves and bundled-up strangers catching his eye. Truly, he should have picked Italy or something. “Ride a train. Eat food. Yell at cars.”
Someone cackled on the other end of the call. “You make me sad.” It was Michael.
“I’m fine,” the dirty-blond answered, “truly. It’s about Christmas time, so the lights are really nice. Depends on where ya go but things are like, kinda calm here. And, there’s this bar– “
“Jesus, Ash, have you even talked to her?” asked Calum.
“Well, no, but– “
“Her?” It was Michael again.
Ashton frowned. “Well there’s– uh, there’s this– “ He kicked at a few stones and watched them tumble into the water. “Girl.”
A chorus of ooo’s and laughter filled the receiver before Luke spoke up and said, “All right, Ash, buddy. What’s she like? Satisfyin’?”
“I-I haven’t even talked to her yet.”
And then, there was a moment of silence.
“She plays at this bar,” Ashton continued, “a few times a week. And, fuck, she’s like if Sara Bareilles and Phoebe Bridgers had a baby or somethin’. ‘m probably the only person in that joint who gives a flyin’ fuck about her. She’s so beautiful.”
“Well shit, Ash,” Michael interjected, “what’re you waitin’ for?”
“That’s what I told him!” Calum shouted.
Ashton didn’t know. He didn’t know after the phone call ended, and he still didn’t know on his walk back home. He thought about you too much to not give this a chance.
At home, he thought about you while making dinner or shaving his beard. He thought about you when coming up with strategic ways to get around the city without being seen. He thought about you once he finally figured out how the train system worked. No matter what, he thought about you, the cute girl who sang her heart out for people who only talked over her.
He wondered if you thought about him, too. There was no possible way you hadn’t noticed his presence–– you locked eyes too many times and it made his heart flop every damn time.
Ashton would spend the walk over to the bar thinking about what sweater you would wear that night. Would it be blue or red? Would it fit perfectly or leave enough room for another human to cuddle underneath? You took your shoes off when performing, so he began to think about what socks you would wear, too. The blue ones with cats? The frilly white ones? The rainbow ones with dinosaurs? His smile grew wide as he climbed down the stairs to the small bar.
Tonight was the night he would talk to you he decided. He couldn’t fall into the habit of coming and going, especially when he truly wanted to talk to you. Somehow, those billions of nerves held him back.
Ashton sat at a table closer to the tiny stage. You were in the middle of a song when your eyes glanced down to his figure, and he swore you could see his cheeks burning hotter than the neon sign beside his head.
“Hey stranger,” you said after the song had ended, and you sent a wink his way. “This next one is dedicated to you.”
His mouth fell open, but he quickly covered up the expression with a long sip of his beer. It was like you knew how to win him over. A few chuckles sounded the bar from behind him, but he couldn’t take it upon himself to care as your nimble fingers strummed a melody that felt like pure honey in his ears. Your voice was what made it sweet.
It was possible the small bit of alcohol that made the fuzz in head travel down his spine. The bubbling in his chest was an artist, for the smile it etched on his face was unlike no other he had felt. Ashton couldn’t imagine the sensation of actually speaking to you face-to-face.
“Thank you to my– my number one fan,” you mumbled shyly with the prettiest smile that could send anyone into a euphoric state. Your eyes were gentle as they peered down at him, and he swore his heart had taken a flight to Milan by now.
You turned around to pack your things, and Ashton had to restrain himself from fleeing like he typically did every time. Usually, he was better at this. He could talk to anyone back home without a single ounce of anxiety, but now, his feet did most of the talking. So, he imagined that he was stuck butt-first in cement and stayed still.
He didn’t know that you would nearly drop everything when you turned to see him there. Ashton fought free of his invisible restraints so he could rush over and help gather your lyric sheets, but he didn’t know he would be so shaky doing so. He hadn’t been this nervous since the first ever performance with his band.
“S-shit, thanks– thank you,” you sputtered, clearly flustered from the accidental mishap. You began to lightly laugh at yourself as you crouched down, and he admired that. “’m a bit clumsy.”
“Is that your name?” he asked and cracked a smile. “A bit clumsy?”
Maybe you had blushed, maybe you hadn’t. Or, maybe it was the few lights shining directly on the two of you from above the small stage. “Uh, n-no. ‘s Y/N.”
He smiled and nodded, reaching out his free hand to shake your own free hand. He knew your hands would be soft despite the guitar callouses, but he hadn’t realized how badly he wouldn’t want to let go. “Ashton.”
“Yeah,” you replied hazily, then your eyes widened before you rose to your feet. He followed suit as you stuttered out, “I-I mean yeah, I– shoot. I mean I know who you are, it’s just– “
“Y’okay?” He grinned. So, he wasn’t the only one who was nervous. That was good.
You nodded. “I’m– I’m great. Just confused.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well...” You shrugged and placed the sheets of music back onto the music stand. “You-you're not exactly a Boston native. And, you keep comin’ to this bar.”
“Cos’ you’re talented.”
“And– wait, what?”
Ashton’s smile grew. You truly did have more confidence on stage than you did in person; it just meant you were destined to perform. “I keep comin’ back to hear you. I like your stuff. I like your voice.”
You gazed up at him, cheeks hot, and you were desperate to get out of the harsh lighting you had been sitting in for close to a half hour. Behind him, the folks at the bar were chatting and gazing back occasionally at the two of you. “You’re... wow.”
“You’re really good.”
“Th-thank you,” you replied, “so much.” The smile had yet to escape you, and it was possible that it had grown larger. “Um, so why-why are you in Boston? Of all places?”
It hadn’t occurred to him that you would ask that question. Surprisingly, in the past two weeks, no one had. He went a few days without getting recognized altogether, but he knew he’d have to answer questions at some point. But, for now, he shrugged. He didn’t know the answer. “Spontaneous adventure.”
You chuckled. “To Boston...”
He laughed a little, too. “Yeah, to Boston.”
-
The simple question of “can I walk you home?” could only go so far. Ashton hadn’t insinuated anything, and you didn’t think he had either. But if both of you were honest, you didn’t want to say goodbye just yet. So, you told him to “hold tight” as you raced up to your apartment to drop your things off. He was in the same spot where you had left him, hands deep in the pocket of his pretty-penny coat that had a hood the size of Canada.
“Y’sure you don’t have plans?” he asked you, letting out a puff of air through the frigid night. Ashton didn’t mind the cold as long as he spent it with someone to preoccupy his thoughts. You were well-qualified for that–– he couldn’t think of anything else but you and the way the lights in the trees reflected in your eyes.
“It’s eight-thirty on a Thursday night,” you said. “Normally, I’d be in bed by now.”
Ashton let out a chuckle, and he couldn’t believe that he could have had this last week. You admitted that you had been hoping he’d stick around after all this time, and ever since that moment, he tried not to mental curse himself.
“Walk fast,” you muttered to him. “My favorite coffee shop closes in an hour and a half.”
You were taking him through parks and vacant neighborhood streets, and he was grateful. These were shortcuts he hadn’t thought to take himself. Besides, he’d rather enjoy them with you anyway. You hopped off of curbs, kicked stones in your path, and jogged across large fields whenever the two of you came upon one. He had never met anyone who found such joy in the little things, and he loved that about you. The night was cold, but you were happy.
Were you happy because you were with him?
Ashton tried to enjoy it as much as you (well, he did enjoy himself, but he preferred watching you enjoy yourself–– it meant more to him anyway). Watching the way your eyes lit up as a few snow flurries fell from the sky was enough to keep his mood steady for the next few months.
“If we get coffee fast,” you said, “we could go to the MFA. I mean, like, you would have to pay unfortunately because I get in for free, but– “
“The MFA?” Ashton asked you as the two of you turned a corner. Before he realized, you were walking up a few steps and opening the door to the coffee shop you told him about.
“Museum of Fine Arts!” you exclaimed before greeting the baristas in the small establishment. “Can I get a small caramel latte with almond milk and a molasses cookie, please? Both to-go”
He grinned, still watching you intently as if you were made of pure gold. Everything you said was drenched in it. Ashton didn’t know how to not fall for you. He pulled out his wallet before you could and handed the person at the register his credit card as he said, “small cider for me, please. Also to-go.”
“Excuse you,” you gasped, and then you pouted, and Ashton thought he was going to lose his shit. Either that or his cheeks would fall off from smiling so much.
“You worked hard tonight,” he said. “You deserve it.”
You rolled your eyes. “Dummy.”
Ashton liked the fact that the two of you spoke to each other as if you had been friends all along. It felt natural, and that only made him more nervous. If it felt natural after only knowing you for a few hours, he couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel later on.
“Want some?” you asked, holding up the molasses cookie as you both began in the direction you came from. “It’ll change your life.”
“Uh, sure,” he replied, pulling off a bit of the cookie before placing it on his tongue. Ashton had never been a huge fan of molasses, but he didn’t mind it all that much. Nevertheless, he nearly moaned at the taste just to please you. “That’s crack,” he joked before taking a sip of his cooling cider. “MFA time?”
“You wanna go?” you asked with a small gasp. “You still wanna spend time with me? I’m shocked.”
He chuckled. “I don’t think tha’s a crime. You’re talented and fun to be around.”
“Half of the world is jealous of me,” you said.
“Yeah, well,” he sighed, “luckily, half of the world doesn’t know about you yet. Once they do...” Ashton didn’t want to think about you becoming overwhelmed with personalities and fans. He liked you here. He liked you now. And then, he realized he said yet. But you didn’t notice.
“I can only imagine,” you huffed through a mouthful of cookie. “Dunno how you’re able to get around here without strangers proddin’ into your life.”
“Ah, I’ve recently developed ninja skills,” he said. “And, I’m also Spider-Man, so I can jump from building to building. Oh, and I’m a mermaid, too so I can swim across the Charles if I need.”
You winced, and you even made an euughhh sound before saying, “I wouldn’t even stick a toe in the Charles if you dared me for a million dollars.”
Ashton felt his laughter deep in his chest, and he hadn’t expected it to echo as the two of you prepared to cross the giant field once again. And when you danced your way across the turf, he gladly held your belongings so he could slowly catch up to you. He was amazed that you felt no sense of embarrassment, but that made him even happier. It just meant that you were comfortable around him.
He didn’t mind paying for his ticket whatsoever–– he would spend all of the money in his bank account if it meant never leaving your side. You showed him all of your favorite pieces, like Dance at Bougival by the artist Pierre-Auguste Renoir (who, according to you, was definitely one of the best Impressionist painters), and you took him down to the Ansel Adams exhibit. That was his favorite part in particular; it was the kind of photography he wished he could create.
Most of all, Ashton didn’t mind standing back and admiring you from afar as your eyes scanned the wide canvases before you. He wanted you as close as possible, but he could appreciate your beauty in full this way.
“Do you smell potatoes?” you wondered aloud at one point, and truly, he did smell potatoes. The smell hit both of you before the sounds of whatever event was being held did. Soon after, you could hardly hear your thoughts over the band and loud chatter. “C’mon,” you said, taking his hand and pulling him down a large hall, “I wanna see if we can crash.”
Your hand was in his. Your hand was in his, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Your smile grew as you followed the blaring music into a great big hall. There were servers and chefs darting behind dividers, and from the middle of the room, you could see down into where the event took place. People were dressed to the nines as the band in the distance played a song he recognized from Notting Hill.
“Art installation,” you gasped, tugging on his hand. Meanwhile, he was trying to figure out a way to intertwine your fingers with his. “Do you think I could get them to let me in by wooing them with my magical voice?” you joked, giggling as your entire face lit up with laughter.
Ashton nodded. “You could woo them with your smile, darlin’,” he replied. The next moment, he managed to wedge his fingers in between yours, and you didn’t even think twice about it. Your eyes sparkled while you tried to sneak up further to catch a better glimpse at what was happening.
“Well, you could woo them with your smile... darlin’,” you said, shooting him a wink.
Ashton finally decided that Boston hadn’t been a bad idea after all.
-
“I’m not tired,” you replied despite yawning midsentence. “Promise. It’s only– “ You checked your phone. “It’s only two in the mornin’.”
“Bedtime for me, sweetheart,” Ashton chuckled. “But believe me, I don’t want this night to end either.”
You sighed, wrapped your arm around his as you rested your head on his bicep. Ashton felt the need to thank you for this. He felt warm around you, and not just because you were leaning into him. He had developed feelings for the idea of you during the past two weeks of witnessing your lovely performances, but tonight, he had developed feelings for the actual you. It was quite possible that you had as well.
“Where ya stayin’?” you mumbled against him.
“I have an Airbnb on the next street over from here,” he responded as he glanced down at your tired self all cuddled against him. It made his heart got berserk. “But ‘m gonna walk you back to your place.”
“You don’t have t’do that,” you said.
Ashton shrugged lightly. “I want to.”
You sighed again, letting your head fall back against him as he pulled you closer (if that were even possible). The two of you walked in comfortable, sleepy silence down a few more blocks and over avenues. At one point, he swore you had fallen asleep, yet your feet were still walking as normal with him blindly guiding you along. He didn’t recognize where he was whatsoever, though, within a few minutes, the two of you reached your destination.
“Hm, we’re here,” you mumbled, blinking rapidly before rubbing your eyes.
“So we are,” he said, mostly to himself as his brain sped through countless options as to what he should do next. Would he ask for your number? Would he tell you he’d see you again soon? Ashton didn’t know what to do, but the moment you stepped closer to him, he knew he needed to pull you in for a hug. He needed your warmth, and you gladly accepted his. And when you began to pull away, you stood high on your toes and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek.
“See you tonight?” you asked, a lazy smile forming on your features as you slowly backed up towards the front door to the building.
He grinned, grazing his cheek with his fingers as he muttered out a satisfied, “see you tonight.”
-
Ashton started his novel the next afternoon, the words finally hitting his brain in just the right places as they found their home on an empty word document. He wrote and wrote, his fingers hardly feeling the repercussions of the endless typing, and before he knew it, it was time to see you again. A part of him wanted you here with him as he wrote–– maybe you were the inspiration he needed all along.
And when he walked into that bar he now knew all too well, you were already there to greet him with a smile so big, any satellite in space could see it. Ashton knew he would be head-over-heels from the get-go; however, he hadn’t expected to fantasize about stupid things like taking road trips or late-night kisses. They weren’t stupid per se, though they weren’t his typical fantasies. Sure, he had a hard time showering without thinking of you, but that made him feel guilty. He could bite his fist and pull his hair all he wanted, and he’d still wonder about how you liked your eggs or what your favorite color was.
He took you out to eat afterward, both to congratulate you on another fabulous performance and to make it known that this did, in fact, count as a date. He had even let the word slip out once or twice, hopeful enough that you would catch on and not feel uncomfortable. You made it clear that you were enjoying yourself nevertheless. You wouldn’t be playing sugar packet Jenga with him otherwise (at least, that was what he assumed).
An hour or so later, he was walking you home again. Instead of you reaching up to kiss his cheek, he bent down to kiss your lips, and the world felt okay once again.
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fate (mileven week)
“‘A firebender and a master of the mind shall someday meet
Two halves of a whole, the Nether beast they must defeat
Stronger together, although this at first they may hate
Finally to find that it was always fate.’ What kind of bullshit-”
Mike Wheeler is royally pissed off. He’s always royally pissed off at something, it kind of comes with his personality, but this is the last straw.
On your sixteenth birthday, you’re supposed to get some kind of hint as to who your soulmate is in the form of something written, whether that’s something like a poem or just a simple one-liner. Nobody knows where these things come from, they just show up near you the morning of your sixteenth. It’s probably the Fates, or something. Mike doesn’t know, and it doesn’t really matter. When you meet your soulmate, they strengthen whatever power it is that you have, because another thing about this crazy world he lives in is that every human being is born with an affinity for something. However, some people possess powers more dangerous than others.
Mike Wheeler is one of them. He’s the only magna-powered person in his whole family. His older sister can lift twenty times her weight and his younger one can talk to animals, neither of which really interferes much with their daily lives or anyone else’s. His mom’s power is the ability to do anything perfectly. That’s actually a really useful one, in fact. His dad’s is perfect memory. He remembers exact dates and exact sequences of events, which can also be useful in some cases.
Mike, on the other hand, was born with the ability to create and manipulate fire. He’s also immune to it. When he was a baby, his mom had fed him and then he’d burped and set her blouse aflame, and that was how everyone knew that Karen’s boy was a firebender. It’s pretty cool and can be useful sometimes, but it’s very volatile, which is what makes it dangerous. He has a hard time controlling it, especially when he’s angry, which is a lot of the time because he has an extremely short temper. His whole life is just a vicious cycle.
So, when he wakes up on his sixteenth birthday and sees a wretched-looking piece of paper right in front of his face, he’s not surprised. What pisses him off is that it’s a fucking prophecy. He not only already has this stupid power, now the only hint he has to finding the single person in the world who might just love him the way he is is a goddamn prophecy. He can’t even meet his damn soulmate in a normal way.
He takes a picture of the paper and sends it to the group chat he has with his four friends. They’re the only people who have been brave enough to stand being close with him. Most of the school population is afraid of him; afraid that he’ll get angry and incinerate them, or something.
The Destroyer: guys i got my soulmate thingy
The Destroyer: woke up with it next to my face
The Destroyer: and it’s a fucKING PROPHECY WHAT THE FUCK
The Destroyer: IMG.347
The Destroyer: can’t even meet my goddamn soulmate in a normal way goddammit
The Vanisher: calm down mike
The Destroyer: I CAN’T CALM DOWN WILL FUCK
The Destroyer: THE ONE HINT I HAVE AND IT’S A PROPHECY!!!!! TF!!!!!!! WE HAVE TO KILL SOME MONSTER???? WHAT IS A NETHER BEAST
The Healer: idk what a nether beast is but sounds legit
The Healer: so you’re gonna hate your soulmate when you first meet apparently
The Destroyer: fuckinG GREAT THANKS DUSTIN
The Vanisher: where’s lucas when you need him
The Speedster: i’m here just
The Speedster: idk how to contribute to this
The Destroyer: i swear i’m going to set myself on fire
The Mimicker: if only that would actually work .
The Destroyer: stfu max i dont have time for your saltiness
Mike has to put his phone down because he can feel his body temperature rising and if he lets himself get too carried away he will spontaneously burst into flame. He hurriedly gets dressed in his specially-made flame-retardant clothes and pulls on his blocker gloves before making his way downstairs for breakfast.
At school, all he can hear about is the new girl. Apparently she just showed up this morning and no one knows what her power is. People have tried asking her, but nobody’s gotten anything concrete so far.
Mike couldn’t give less of a fuck. He’s not concerned with other people’s business. He hates having people in his, so why should he care about others’? In fact, he is so busy not caring about what other people are saying that he doesn’t even notice the person coming out of the restroom before he slams into her. She drops the bag she’s carrying and he drops all his books.
“Watch where you’re going next time,” growls Mike, bending down to pick up his stuff.
“Same goes for you, asshole,” comes the harsh response.
Mike stops in surprise. No one talks to him like that. Ever. They’re all too afraid of his temper to even try him. He looks up to find an unfamiliar face glaring back at him. This must be the new girl.
She’s quite pretty, but he hates her on sight. He’s not sure why; maybe the fact that she called him an asshole has something to do with it. He may or may not have deserved it, but that doesn’t mean he has to agree with it.
“Watch who you call an asshole, asshole,” he says bitingly, then picks up his last book and shoves past her.
He can feel stares on him, but he thinks people are mostly looking at the girl. She didn’t know who she was dealing with back there, otherwise, she probably would have run away just like everyone else does.
In chemistry, for which Mike isn’t allowed to participate in labs for obvious reasons, he doesn’t have a lab partner. Even if he did his classmates don’t trust him enough to sit next to him. He’s just sitting down and getting his books settled when the door opens again and in comes the same girl he just bumped into. She sees him right in the front row and her whole face wrinkles as if she’s just smelled something disgusting. A few minutes later, after she speaks to the teacher, she walks over to the empty side of Mike’s lab bench and drops her stuff before sitting down.
The girl openly looks him over again, and Mike feels himself shiver but he keeps his gaze directly forward. Something about her is off. Maybe she’s magna-powered too?
He sees her open her mouth. “I know what you are. And I hope you know I’m not afraid of you.”
Mike doesn’t say anything, merely picking at his nails as if he isn’t in the least affected by her words. What does she mean she’s not afraid of him? Who does she think she is? Even his friends are afraid of him, to some extent.
Mr. Lewis starts the lesson, and during the period Mike comes to know that the girl is named Eleanor Hopper. She’s his age. Her dad’s the new chief of police and today is her first day of school in Hawkins. She moved from Chicago. All irrelevant things that tell him nothing about who she really is, or as she would probably put it, what she is. Mike finds himself suddenly burning with curiosity (not literally of course, but he’s close). He wants to know what she does.
At the end of class, as they’re packing up their things, Mike turns to her and says, “You should be afraid of me.”
Eleanor raises a brow. “Why? So you can keep doing and saying whatever you want because no one will try to tell you you’re wrong?”
Mike feels his face twist into a frown. That’s not how it is at all and his face is getting hot, which is never a good sign. “You don’t know anything about me.”
She shoves her pencil case into her bag aggressively. “I know enough about pyros to assume your basic qualities, and I don’t like you. You all need anger management and a lesson in humility.”
“What did you call me?”
She gives a sarcastic laugh. “Pyro? Short for pyrokinetic? I recognize the blocker gloves, idiot. God, you don’t even know what your kind are called? Pretty stupid for someone in an honours chem class.”
Eleanor then exits the chemistry classroom, leaving Mike behind her with his blood boiling.
That’s it. He can’t stand her.
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American Gods - ‘Git Gone’ Review
"That was vulgar. I’m a vulgar woman. Anger and grief have… have really just made me vulgar."
American Gods gives us the Gospel According to Laura, and answers a few questions to boot.
OK, it's cheating just a little bit to end two episodes in a row with the exact same cliffhanger, but wow, what a trip it was getting there the second time around.
So, at the end of the previous episode, Shadow enters his motel room to find his recently deceased wife, Laura, sitting on his bed waiting for him. Expectations, then, were that we'd pick up at that same point and get to see their inevitable confrontation over the whole 'died while orally servicing his best friend' situation. But 'Git Gone' takes a different path, and instead goes back to before the show even began and tells the whole thing again, but this time from Laura's perspective.
This is by no means the first show to do an episode dedicated to re-staging things we've already seen, but from the perspective of one of the other characters, but there's a reason that shows like to do it, and it's not just the cost savings of re-using existing sets. The primary virtue of this setup is that it allows you to fill in a lot of character information, while revealing information about events you've already seen that we didn't know at the time. Case in point, we've already heard the phone conversation between Shadow and Laura in 'The Bone Orchard'. but now we know that she literally had his best friend naked on their bed while she was talking to him. That changes how we feel about Laura during that conversation a lot.
So, let's talk about Laura.
For the first three episodes, Laura has essentially been a woman in the refrigerator. It's an insidious trope, which can be boiled down to the idea that stories tend to treat female characters as someone to kill so that the important character, i.e. the man, can be properly motivated to do whatever the story needs him to do. It's a pleasant relief then to find out that, no, Laura has been having a fairly eventful story of her own, and her untimely death was only the middle part of it.
The thing that 'Git Gone' makes clear about Laura is that she is fundamentally self-destructive. The very first decision we see her make is to attempt suicide in her covered hot tub by breathing in the titular bug spray, and that appears to have been brought on by nothing more than the casino she's working at telling her that she can't shuffle the cards by hand anymore, but she likes shuffling cards so she's super sad about it. She's clearly smart and perceptive; it takes her all of three seconds to understand the con that Shadow is trying to pull at her blackjack table. She's also basically kind, since her response to his con is to point out the casino's security measures and what they'll do to him when he's caught, then takes his bet and tells him to finish his drink and go home while he can. But when Shadow approaches her afterward and tries to ask her out in a reasonably polite fashion she's not interested. She only becomes interested in him once he starts getting stalker-ishly creepy. The same is true of their sex scene. She's bored out of her mind when he's being a courteous lover, and slaps him full in the face for no other reason than to see what he'll do. That's just not a safe thing to do to a guy you just picked up after he attempted to rob your casino, and whom you know absolutely nothing about. Which is why she does it.
The sequence of scenes where we see Shadow grow happier and happier while she grows sadder and sadder tell us everything we need to know about Laura. She likes Shadow, but he's nice. And when Laura has something nice in her life, Laura is immediately compelled to destroy that thing. That's why she suggests the casino heist that gets Shadow sent to prison. That's why she starts sleeping with Robbie while Shadow's away. Note the way that Laura only slept with Robbie the second time because he had accepted her statement that they shouldn't. Note also how she was clearly just as bored during her sex with Robbie as she had been that first night with Shadow. It was never about the sex, it was about inviting things into her life that would cause as much damage as possible. When Audrey mentions that she wishes Robbie looked at her the way Shadow looks at Laura, you can feel how little Laura values it. How much she needs to destroy it, in order to prove to herself that she doesn't deserve it. Honestly, season one doesn't give us much in terms of Laura's early background information, and the book gives even less, but note that Laura's mother appears to be at their wedding and her father isn't. I suspect there's a lot of interesting backstory there, and I hope we get more of it in the future. People this self destructive don't just happen for no reason.
And hey, we mentioned Audrey a moment ago. Audrey, and I'll make no bones about this whatsoever, is my absolute favorite character in the show, despite only being in two episodes of the first season. The scene between Audrey and Laura in Audrey's bathroom is absolutely the centerpiece of this episode. That scene works on every conceivable level. It's simultaneously hysterically funny, heartbreakingly sad, and the weirdest thing you're likely to see on television. And it all comes down to the fact that both Betty Gilpin as Audrey and Emily Browning as Laura play the absolute emotional truth of the moment, despite the fact that the moment is a zombie with diarrhea on the toilet in front of the woman whose husband she died while blowing. Oh, and she stopped by to borrow craft supplies. The whole thing is basically, what if The Walking Dead was a production of the Hallmark Channel, and those two actresses make it work. Audrey is confronted with the woman she thought was her best friend but was sleeping with her husband. Who died while betraying her. When Audrey speaks the line 'I found out my husband was cheating on me and dead in the same sentence' you absolutely feel how much pain she's in, and it feels real. Despite the zombie diarrhea and the craft supplies, it feels like genuine emotional damage that she has no idea how to work through. It's amazing.
Then Audrey gets her craft supplies, sews her friend's arm back on for her, and drives her where she needs to go. Because she has no idea how else to respond to the situation. And if anyone is capable of getting through the following exchange without falling in love a little with Audrey, then that person has no soul. As Audrey is sewing her dead friend's arm back on and discussing the way that friend slept with her husband:
Laura: "I feel terrible about it."
Audrey: "Oh, F*ck your feelings."
Quotes:
Laura: "Is this your first time trying to rob a casino?"
Shadow: "A casino? Yeah."
Laura: "Well, you’re really not very good at it."
Shadow: "All l know is there’s more than I know."
Laura: "There’s no farm upstate for old dogs."
Laura: "I have a perfect plan. You will never get caught."
Cut to Jail
Laura: "How did you get caught?"
Laura: "I lived my life. Good and bad. Definitely not light as a feather."
Audrey: "…Laura?"
Laura: "Hey Audrey."
Audrey:
Laura: "Audrey. Audrey. Don’t call the police."
Audrey: "Get out of my house, you zombie whore!"
Ibis: "Don’t move. You’re still tacky."
Bits and Pieces:
-- Nice fake-out at the beginning with the Egyptian theme casino. The casino's name was 'The 26th Dynasty' Apparently that was the last Egyptian dynasty before they were invaded by the Persians. I don't know if that's at all important, but information is always nice.
-- Mrs. Fadil's post-death scene with Anubis last week served the important function of letting us understand what was happening to Laura this week. It's a little weird that Laura would be the province of an Egyptian death god though. They hand waved it last week with Mrs. Fadil remembering the old stories, but all we get here is that Laura is Anubis' concern because of the manner of her passing. That seems like a curiously specific thing for an Egyptian god to care about. Maybe she had to sign a release when she started working at the casino or something.
-- The hot tub is a visual metaphor for nothingness and oblivion. Watch the episode with that in mind and it opens up a world of interesting interpretations.
-- Do people leave their TVs on for the cats while they're out? It made total sense that it was the death of Dummy the cat, who Laura claimed to not even like, that drove her completely off the rails and into the affair with Robbie.
-- I'm not sure why, but the Egyptian eyes on Laura's work uniform bow tie really freaked me out. Like, to an irrational degree.
-- Laura's dialogue, 'When you die, you rot,' is shown over the images of her and Shadow's wedding. That was a nice directorial touch.
-- I liked the visual cue of Shadow leaving his wedding ring on the statue of the Eifel Tower when he went to the gym. That's a real thing, I take off mine myself to work out.
-- Three episodes later, we find out that it was Laura who killed all of Technical Boy's henchmen and saved Shadow from the lynching. Wow, zombie Laura is apparently quite strong. And can kick you in the balls so hard your entire spinal column flies out the top of your head, which was a funny sight gag.
-- Mr. Jacquel, a.k.a. Anubis, told Laura that after this was all over he would complete his task and send her to oblivion. So now Laura has a matching doom over her head to go with Shadow's promise to let Czernobog smash his head in when it's all over.
-- I'd have liked to have known what happened to Audrey after she and Laura encountered Jacquel and Ibis. I assume she just dropped Laura off and went back home, but it would have been nice to see it.
-- Absent entirely this week - Wednesday, Mad Sweeney, Bilquis, Media, Technical Boy, Czernobog, The Zorya sisters, and Mr. World.
A great episode that gave us a lot of character work and some intriguing answers, but at the expense of paying off the previous episode's cliffhanger.
Three and a half out of four hot tubs.
Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.
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