#as long as I kill you in the process

[wispforever]

Crucify Him

#Naruto #Itachi Uchiha #Kisame Hoshigaki #Kisaita #itakisa #not really but we know how i feel about them #this is right before he wrecks kakashi #i dont remember the exact sequence but whatever #I'm very curious of Itachi's hostility toward kakashi specifically #you could make the argument that he's just doing his evil villain act #but god DAMN #did you have to crucify him #he puts his own ass in a sling too but overusing his sharingan #itachi says I don't care if I die #as long as I kill you in the process #I like to think itachi bears animosity toward the leaf kakashi the rest of his superiors his family really everyone #because he was forced to choose between two very unattractive options when he was just a kid #not just that but he was expected to take full responsibility for his decision and bear whatever consequence came about #of course an adult could understand that the uchiha needed to right their position of inequity in the leaf #but itachi as a literal child and a child of war could not hold those stakes in his mind and think of anything but disaster #an inevitable war that would be his fault #he couldn't think of anything more awful than that even murdering every member of his clan and his own family #ANYWAY #what im trying to say is I think he would grow up as a rogue ninja and realize how fucked up and unfair it was that he was put up to that #and how he was groomed by a bunch of adults to be a killing machine just bc he happened to be an excellent shinobi #in this case #kakashi is the unfortunate object of his wrath #a very good representation of everything he was a victim of as far as itachi knows him #his superior in the anbu and someone who was willing to conduct surveillance of the Uchiha whether or not he knew what would happen to them #an indifferent bystander. one more person who didn't help itachi (kakashi probably would've had he had the whole picture)

[bluerasbunny]

hes a material girl YN wouldn't understand

putting this under a read more to spare from my yelling, but holy SHIT! VKTRS is at 500 hits and 71 kudos, dude that is INSANE! especially for a fic with ONE chapter!!

the success was entirely unprecedented and unexpected, i'm honestly still trying to process it all!!

thank you all so much for the continued support!!! it means so much to me as a young author and artist!! <3 /gen

#grayy art #grayy rambles #fnaf #dca fandom #dca radio host au #video killed the radio star au #vktrs au #fnaf sun #sun x reader #god im still in shock i cant even process it properly #500 people have read my writing!! 500 whole people!!! imagine a room with 500 people dude #and on my FIRST multichapter?? that's INSANE!!! #genuinely thank you all so much!!!! #chapter 2 is on the way- however long it may take i WILL get chapter 2 to you all!!!

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

“Jason should get over being upset about his death” - he has, he wasn’t angry at Bruce or the world because they failed him and he ended up dying, which he made clear plain as day and that’s about the most reasonable a person who went through what he went through could be

anyway I don’t think these people realize how gory being bludgeoned to near death is, and maybe it's because of the limitations of the medium that scene was presented in

#not to mention he had to process the added heartbreak of his birth mother’s rejection/betrayal at the same time #like yeah he was cocky and smiling in the uth movie go Jason go but that’s also the same movie that drastically changed the context #and tone of that scene by erasing Sheila #kelseethe #I remember the first time reading aditf I got flashbacks to a Korean horror movie that still puts me in a weird place #anyway it was about a serial killer who went around killing people by beating their skulls in with a hammer #one of the plots was centered around a victim who didn’t die after the first attack and even managed to escape at first #long story short she was running around trying to get help and the cops were useless + he ended up finding her again and finished the job #sfx brains skull blood and viscera everywhere #and that’s exactly what happened to Jason you just didn’t see any gore because it’s an American comic #nor did you hear his screams and the sounds from metal making contact with bone and guts #and like I said the uth movie was pretty sanitized too same for the titans show which also downplayed his death lol #anyway I think it’s really forgiving of Jason not to blame Bruce or anyone else for the fact that they let the circumstances lead to that #and to instead only criticize how nothing was done in the aftermath #Idk I always found it a bit fascinating how it doesn’t seem to have dawned on most people including his fans #exactly how violent that experience was

[comic-sans-chan]

I adore how unhinged Garak is about the people he likes, because there's this theme of them being similarly unhinged. Like that colleague from the Order in Second Skin that he had to shoot and was like, "Aw :( ...Well Anyway" about. Or like Tain and Mila, both crazy bitches, imo. Or his last remaining contacts on Cardassia who he called up in In The Pale Moonlight who were all down to raid the Dominion’s underwear drawer at the drop of a hat. Like that's what Garak is used to. He likes excitement, he likes a bit of malice, he likes some cunning. And that's part of what makes Garashir so goddamn funny is Julian is actually a bit of a cunning, malicious little shit sometimes. If you watch the series knowing Julian's an augment, these moments come up all the time where it's clear he's fucking with people for his own amusement. Taking people for a bit of a ride just to see what happens. Then ofc there are all the gross incel fuckboy moments, but. 

I just love the idea of Julian going on some insane borderline villainous monologue about something or other and Garak sitting there with hearts swirling around his head. Don't get me wrong, Garak loves Julian for his goodness first and foremost, but Julian's not perfect and I think that makes the ship so much more interesting because I can't really see Garak finding most of Julian's worst flaws anything but thrilling. We go on about Garak loving Julian's infodumping and argumentativeness, but after the augment thing comes out, I think he equally enjoys watching Julian play dumb with people and Knowing he's playing dumb. It compliments his own Just a Simple Tailor routine so perfectly. They're just normal men. Just innocent men.

#i don't think julian's ever malicious about it to be clear #i think it just ended up being something that happened kind of inevitably because he already had to play dumb anyway #and it became one of the only ways he could really get any kind of enjoyment out of an otherwise miserable process of hiding himself #it's a sad lonely habit he got into #and it does bite him in the ass a lot. i think julian hates being underestimated A Lot #for obvious reasons (his parents are lunatics) #so... maybe it's a little mean of him sometimes #he has kind of a temper anyway. and it's a harmless way to let off steam #you can kinda tell after his augment secret gets out he becomes a lot more sarcastic #i think that's what his mind has been like for a long time #going a little off the rails here but julian's parents always acting like they did him some huge favor #meanwhile this is julian's every day experience now #just being so smart it's innately isolating and miserably lonely #he's not just mad at them for killing jules #he's mad at them for creating julian #my posts #garashir

[taardisblue]

also lowkey the master wearing all the doctor’s old outfits had “dumped guy putting on his ex’s shirt to have a cry in the bathtub” energy im sorry

#doctor who #doctor who spoilers #dw #dw spoilers #LIKE YES BBY I KNOW SHE DIDNT KILL YOU HERSELF ON GALLIFREY #but is that REALLY a reason to just #raid her closet and just. sadly play the recorder on a mushroom planet for who knows how long?? #also the way it ties into that master novella #i do love that vibe #anyhow in short once again the master is a bitter dumpee and decides to make it everyone's problem #more news at 11 #also one day ill process all the doctor's sad lil remarks about it. but not today.

[skyekarnsteins]

Every word you say has me falling

More and more in love with you 💛🖤

bonus, when you expect some silly compliments and she hits you with a whole heartfelt Speech:

#rwby spoilers #rwby #bumbleby #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #I am still processing the whole episode I don't think I'll ever get over it #the scene was so beautiful and the confession made me tear up and the kiss fuckin killed me i have ascended #anyway nothing gets you over art block like one of your oldest ships becoming canon #hollie doodles #m

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I'm piggybacking a bit off of the last ask of asking for writing tips but I have an odd question... Am I the only person that struggles actually PICKING a book? It's the absolute bane of my existence because I feel like I can be so picky... Don't get me wrong, I love being a bookworm, and I'm trying to get back into reading physical books but it's so difficult to find a real taste of what the book is like without being completely spoiled or something... I miss when backs of books had an actual summary and not just NO.1 NEW YORK BESTSELLER!!!! It's so frustrating... I've been trying to get back into it by re-reading fond chapter childhood books read to me (The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane & A Wrinkle In Time). But at the same time I'm also trying to get into more "adult" books that isn't... Well, you try googling "adult books" and see how that goes, I didn't think too hard about what a poor decision THAT was. But I'm working up the courage to read Cat's Cradle right now to start with "Classic Authors" I guess!

Anyway I'm rambling here, I guess my question is... How do you pick out the books you read? I don't really have friends that read many books to recommend to me :')

Thank you in advance, Bog! I hope you get a callback from that interview soon!

no ok actually you've mentioned something that's been bothering me for a while - What The Hell Do Y'all Mea, Books Don't Have Summaries Anymore???? i have not once in my life found a book that didn't have a summary. i was in barnes & noble recently and everything i looked at had a summary. i have literally never seen a book without one in my life of reading & looking at new books on a regular basis

softcovers have theirs on the back. hardcovers are on the inside of the sleeve - lift the cover and it should be printed right there on the inside flap! summaries aren't legally required but both the author and Especially the publisher(s) know that no one's gonna buy a book without a summary. trust me, all books worth reading have a summary. if a book doesn't have one, it's probably not worth your time anyway. you just gotta know where to look!

so my answer to how i choose books... i read the summary lmao. if it seems interesting, ill either write it down to get later or ill get it there and then.

Before the summary though, i look for any titles that jump out at me from the shelf. then i look at the thickness. i like a bit of meat in my literature, so i tend to shy away from thinner books. thicker ones grab my attention more easily. then i look at the cover - if it interests me, then ill read the summary. i don't have specific tastes in title or cover. as long as it makes my brain "hm" thoughtfully, ill take a gander!

and really, if you have access to a bookstore (chain or not, ive found plenty of bangers in tiny used bookshops) or library, the best way to find a book is to physically browse. even if you dont buy anything, you can take pictures of books / write them down to buy online. but going to the store lets you search them out, examine the length, cover, title, summary - and easily put it back on the shelf or keep it. i hate shopping online bc there's ads, you can't examine the product, nothing really stands out since it's all portrayed similarly, there's limited pictures instead of the physical thing, and photos can lie.

plus, everything is (typically) meticulously sorted by genre & age range. when you go into a section with literature aimed at adults, you'll find exactly that instead of smut novels lmao. real life bookstores can be more accurate than online searches. & there's just something so good about walking through shelves, searching for that one book before you know it exists, smelling the paper... yeah...

#like for example i recently bought priory of the orange tree #ive been wanting it for a while and havent read it yet since im finishing something else #BUT! i remember when i first saw it #nothing had gotten my attention for a while #but then i saw the thickest fucking book ive seen in ages - which was automatically very sexy of it #and then the title was unique - priory of the orange tree??? whoah! what the fuck does that mean!!! #so automatically there was the interest of neat title + a new word that i get to learn + the implications of the word now that i understand #and then i picked the book up and it was deliciously heavy - & there was a Dragon on the cover. which. YES PLEASE #then the summary was fascinating!! the book was immediately seared into my brain! im very excited to read it #so thats a highly successful example of my book choosing Process #it checked all of my boxes so it was a win #most books dont check all of my boxes but as long as it hits most of them im down to clown yk yk #but yeah im picky too so! nothing wrong with being picky or having high standards! #rambles from the bog #my shelves are fuckin Full of books ranging from 'it was ok' to 'I WILL RECOMMEND THIS TO ALL WHO WILL LISTEN' #and then i have a drawer filled with books that i just could not care less about / dont like #but dont have the heart to throw away bc. well putting a book in the trash kills a part of my soul #i need to donate them... #but yes! i hope that helps! #and Thank You! i hope i get a callback as well...

[databent]

doing long diviison for fun will have people asking "what the fuvk is wronw with uou" and well cant a guy havea little numbers. my numbers hobby. a special long division treat for me

#.pdf #rd #bored earlier started doing long division on paper for fun ended up calculating answer to like 28 decimal places before it started to repeat #used to do this in middle school math class i was too shy to get up and borrow one of the fancy calculators so whenever we had to do square- #-roots and shit i wouldjust fucking guess and divide into the thing and if i was wrong id guess lower/higher and just keep doing tjat #until i was within the decimal place we were supposed to be rounding to 👍 #just a little Lore for you all. btw im NOT good at math not trying to sound smart about this. i just really really like patterns and- #-the process of breaking numbers down into smaller and smaller pieces 👍 also seeing how many decimal places before it terminates/repeats #all other math is evil and kills me long division is the only math thing i will ever do just for fun

[navree]

Let's be honest, and I say this with full offense, Lucerys Velaryon is the Archduke Franz Ferdinand of the Dance of the Dragons. He is meant to be a sacrificial lamb to kick off the entire war proper. If we had gotten a full season of development with him like we did with the younger cast in Game of Thrones, I guarantee more people would've felt something. The only reason I personally feel bad is from a baseline level of empathy, because he was a child who was placed in an unwinnable situation due to his mom being completely irresponsible with him and his brothers.

However…

The comparison between Lucerys and Aemond is no contest. Love him or hate him, Aemond has an actual personality and goals when we first meet him. There's enough dimension in Aemond as a child to showcase the potential for sympathy between him and Jace at the funeral, a scene they didn't need to put in, but they did, which emphasizes his own innocence. Even before he breaks bad fully in S1E10, he's still far more compelling to watch due to the number of scenes allocated to him and his dynamic with other people.

This is where you and I are going to disagree just a bit, because Lucerys does do something in S1E07 and S1E08. He gouges out the eye of a family member and petulantly whines that he “didn’t do anything!” when confronted with the possibility of getting in trouble for it, then years later has the nerve and complete lack of sense to giggle at the person he permanently maimed only hours after his legitimacy was publicly called into question (again) and resulted in a murder. The narrative (perhaps unintentionally) glosses over these moments in favor of portraying him as good, whereas if you read between the lines, you can see that as being an oversimplification. The problem is that because S1 was truncated, secondary characters like Lucerys don’t receive screentime dedicated to portraying anything other than a single personality trait. Unfortunately, because of his role in the text and the way it was adapted for television, there was never a chance that Lucerys would be interesting.

I don't even have anything to add, this is just objectively correct.

#personal #answered #anonymous #and yeah lucerys refusing to take any responsibility or even show a hint of remorse for what he did is so galling to me #i could never care about him after that #like first of all you were in the wrong in the fight period #aemond did nothing wrong he claimed a free dragon who let him bond with her #i get why rhaena and baela were acting irrationally upset their mother died and they're young #grief makes you act weird #jace and luke had absolutely no reason to act the way they did #like it's not your fight and also again aemond literally did nothing wrong #but because he made a nasty comment after already being yelled at for doing nothing wrong y'all decide to gang up on him #with your cousins #and then this little idiot decides to take a whole knife to someone's face and refuses to ever feel bad #luke could have KILLED aemond #aemond could have DIED #not just from the immediate wound but also any issues that arose during a really long and arduous healing process #it's why fics with luke where he feels bad or contrite don't work for me #because he literally doesn't??? #he doesn't care at all #he doesn't care he almost killed a person for no reason and left them with lifelong issues as a result of his fuck up #out here kicking his feet and giggling over maiming another human being #again vhagar eating him was too easy #he should have gotten his eye poked out first anyway #literally only feel kinda bad for rhaenyra cuz i'm neutral leaning positive towards rhaenyra and losing a child hurts #luke himself can rot i feel nothing

[inspector-montoya-fox]

i was thinking in the shower about how things would have turned out had Bentley managed to break into the Cooper Vault without needing to recruit anyone. for starters, there wouldn't be a Sly 3 lol... i mean Sly and Bentley would definitely have gone after Murray so An Opera of Fear and Rumble Down Under would have happened i guess but for the sake of the post let's say they wouldn't have asked the Guru to join the gang. so no Netherlands and no China meaning no Penelope and no Panda King, and by extent no Dimitri because of no deal in Netherlands.

removing Sly 3's secondary characters kinda puts things into perspective in terms of character development. in Sly 1 we collected Thievius Racconus pages as we got closer to the truth and Sly learned new tricks and honed his skills in preparation for his encounter with Clockwerk. Sly 2 was just a traumatic trainwreck altogether like SP really put the gang through the wringer idk how they survived.

in Sly 3 this development is brought about through the secondary characters and their relationships with the protagonists. Penelope drives a wedge between Sly and Bentley forcing the latter to muster up the courage and step outside of Sly's shadow for a minute; Panda King's return demands Sly to mature and let go of the past; Dimitri tests the gang's patience; both Penelope and Panda King contribute to the Murray van storyline which kinda exhibited that yea! in the long run, Murray might be the dummy of the group as Dr Michael chastises at the end but he is definitely the heart of the gang.

but if all this never happened then how would Honour Among Thieves play out? funny thing is, even if they recruited the extended gang, shit hit the fan almost immediately upon arrival so i'm assuming the same would apply if the original trio had tried to pull it off on their own? no? as a sidenote: i'm also thinking that Sly 2 is the only game in the series that kinda had like the aspect of urgency if you think about it. someone stole the Clockwerk parts and they were going to rebuild him so tick tock bitch. Sly 1 and 3 however don't really have that sense of time pressure. the Fiendish Five were sitting on their asses for literally a decade before Sly popped up for the pages and don't even get me started on the possibility of Dr Michael managing to crack the Cooper Vault open like what a loser lmao. with this in mind, Bentley would have the time to develop his tech in order to do the tasks that the extended gang members would have done. i mean if he managed to build a time machine surely he could make his tech waterproof ?

so the entire heist goes according to plan with the possibility of them tripping that stupid alarm still at play. i never intended to do a full play by play "what if...?" of Honour Among Thieves but suffice to say Carmelita would 100% show up to save the day even with the change of context. i think the most important change would be that Bentley's run-in with Dr Michael would go down very differently. i don't think he'd defend Sly; i actually think Dr Michael would get to him even without Penelope's introduction because she only brought out feelings that were brewing deep in Bentley's subconscious (especially after the end of Sly 2, becoming disabled for a cause that was never his and that dedication arguably never being reciprocated). he might not have shown it in the moment but i think that conversation would significantly shape Bentley's character and if Sly got out of the episode unscathed, the gang would probably split. leaving the Guru behind would also give Murray the motive to go his own way.

it's clear that Sly 3's secondary characters helped the gang get over some unspoken issues they had between them, even if they got resolved behind each other's backs (because Bentley only vents to Penelope about his feelings and doesn't go straight to Sly, who, in turn, doesn't even know there's an issue to begin with). personally, and i feel kinda stupid for suggesting something so simplistic in relation to how this game would be better like 7-8 years after being on this godforsaken website and analysing it to the point where it feels like the bible, i feel like one more episode would help really flesh out the problems the gang had. we never get direct acknowledgment or accountability from Sly and it feels like he's too focused on entering the Vault to care about Bentley's feelings, or anyone else's for that matter (there's like 7 anon asks gathering dust in my inbox about why i have anti-Sly sentiment and that number better not go up). all it takes is a 'you know what guys? you should enter the vault with me after literally sticking by me since childhood and risking your lives fighting my own battles' and they shoot up the van like it's a guest on Wendy.

Sly 2's ending proved that the protagonists aren't Riverdale characters who just go through weekly life-threatening events without any guilt, trauma and anxiety; and then in Sly 3 we get high-stake situations akin to the ClockLa saga, like the Dragon snatching Penelope, but because it's crammed between episodes instead of games, the characters come out of it seemingly unfazed. the complete lack of recognition for all of this makes it seem like Sly is an awful leader for the gang. like i think Penelope would genuinely snap when she got taken hostage by LeFwee after the dragon thing.

i think the internal politics of the gang could have been explored way better but i understand that juggling that and the introduction of one new character per episode would be impossible. i'd love to see Bentley confronting Sly, Murray realising that he's getting more support about what matters to him (the van, the Guru's wellbeing) from the literal strangers they've recruited than his best friends, Sly realising that his lack of involvement in the gang's friendship is what turned Dr Michael against ConnEr. maybe Honour Among Thieves could have been a two-parter honestly. maybe the Dimitri Dr Michael piranha hybrid bossfight should have never made the cut.

#kings of fucking subtlety pulling up to a months-in-the-works heist in a pirate ship #i love these games #sly cooper #it's been so long since i've posted an essay post omfg #this one's chunky too like loads to discuss babes #other notes: #it's not like Sly learned how to fly a plane because of Penelope so he could still disable Kaine island's security right? #and also: #it feels like Bentley could have easily found someone other than Panda King but he just did it out of spite like out of pure pettiness #and that's just so deeply rotten like what was even the thought process behind that? #steal the girl that doesn't even know i exist? i'll force you to reconcile with the guy who killed your dad #wtf bentley

[solardistress]

everyone who is in the stanley parable fandom should somehow get sucked into the rabbit hole of the story and or characters and or the concept the game presents . not like ohhh i looove the narratorso much heres my design and lore for them for it kind of rabbit hole where you fixate on this character that like. you are making uo backstory for to the point it deviates from canon because youve gone too far from the game details or whatever but but really aanalyze the game the moments the dialogue for just a moment . mmfind the meaning in the words . find somethin g profound in the data the papers the desks the situation as a whole . you cant just . romanticize the characters. without. like. understanding them first . tou cwnt do anything with the characters until you inderstand them at a gut wrenching level . at least brush uo on their wiki once in a while ? play the game ? every now and then ? treat stanley right ? anyway if you like the stanley parable so much why cant you tell me about 432 and their situation . how profoundly sad their existance is and how you trea t them. how about cookie9? why do you hate themm so much. because of a review ? tou antagonize them for what ? the narrators doing ? bexause the narrator what . yeah . tou cant even explain his actions . go go play the game and hav eit rewrite your brain . go down the rabbit hole and bask in the true horror and unrealism of their situation

#how sleepy am i jesus christ #tsp #anywayy i think what im saying is pleade enjoy the gamr and the story it has actually theres so many little details and often all i see is #just. the narrator . the endings . stanley. yeah theres feeling and emotion but j want that in words i want to to see you understand it #i want to see you see it in your own way inderstand and process it in your own way and share that #i love seeing analysis posts !!!!! uughh nbrhh. not to say that like. the fanart isnt what i want no i love the fanart so much #but i wish there were more analysis posts or something idk #idk what my point was here #i love characterization . by the way . as someone who would write fanfics and has a pet peeve of correct characterization in fics and such #i just wish more people hnderstood the game as a whole and didnt just end up being like haha ships !!!!!!!! romance !!!!! like yes ! but #but also like they have something MORE than romance. something more intimate and close . not sex yeah sure whatever but they are #connected in the most horrible ways and connected so closely and lovingly and they are connected whether they like it or not #they hate each other they love each other they are each others world they are divorced theyve been married for eternity they would kill eac #other they woukd have sex they woukd kiss they would dance they would do so many things that arent romance oriented but still close in #so many fucking ways because they love hate each other and their relationship is so conplicated you think they just suddenly love each othe #no matter what now ?? after what. you think stanley is forgiving ? after being brought through hell over and over and over again? #no! they hate each others guts i tell you. but they still stick by each others sides because they dont belong anywhere else #theres love but not in any way any of us can think. theres love but not like that but also exactly like that. theres also hate #and its a beautiful mix of the two that allows them to get along so well and endure each other for so long and further #anyway fucking . i forgot my point #anyway go down the rabbit hole 👍 this game is insane and you should be insane about it too #but like. be insane about it . not the concept of romance in this game. do not pair them up just for the sake of shipping #understand their relationship. understand them. understand their circumstances. understand their problems their bate their love #them. understand them and how much they need each other. how they keep chasing and chasing and chasing only to run #in circles. anyway what was my POINT. i ront remember 👍👍👍 #i am . so sleepy

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

.

#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work #blocked it all out #my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer #breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries #they just diagnosed her two weeks ago #so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends #because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well #but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work #on top of my fulltime #which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it #but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this #for the coming four months at least #so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT. #i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes #then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe? #which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week #which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc #i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer #came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry #but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat #bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.” #“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.” #and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually #but seeing her anger made me see my own anger #and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic #i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more #so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise #doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal #and i am not joking #so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back

[mercymaker]

love is truly the dumb fuck juice of all time because a man can literally tell you 'i have violent thoughts of harming you' and your ass will be twirling hair and kicking feet like 'but would we kiss after that or?' like

#life #nothing recent lmao just been thinking about my younger self #and how utterly in love i was with someone who didn't have their best intentions with my goofy ass #and i was EATING. IT. ALL. UP. #like sure i was in the absolute depths of depression and ping ponged from one suicidal thought to another #and at times those feelings were about the only thing keeping me from jumping off the 16th floor of my dorm building #but then again when he abandoned me like a wet dog on the side of the road #i uh.. almost killed myself yaknow.. maybe it was NOT worth it in the long run lmao #i lived bitch.jpg #but yeah nah just looking back at all that in retrospect and it's truly truly wild as shit how utterly in love my ass was #talking about that suicidio attempt i actually ended up writing about it because it was almost comical how i survived #when your darkest demons crawl out of the shower drain to roast you into living mi amore <3 #it helped me process the whole thing when i was in a much better place mentally #and i read it to my writing group with a bunch of people different ages different walks of life it was a great experience #suicide mention cw

[bookshelf-in-progress]

A big part of author life is learning to make peace with the stories you'll never write.

#adventures in writing #there are layers to this #one part is learning that not every intriguing idea can or should be a complete story #you can just let it sit in an idea folder as a fun daydream and that's fine #then there are the ones that just cycle through #catch your attention for a while but then fall away #but every so often they come to mind and get developed further #and it's likely that one day maybe some of them will stick around long enough to get written #then there are the ones you have to let go #they interested you for a long time and may even have in-depth developments/significant parts of drafts #and you have to recognize that there were fatal flaws to the idea that prevent it from coming to life #and/or you've moved beyond the person you were then and aren't going to be able to write that story in the way it needs #but some of those still stick in your head #coming to mind and making you think maybe you could revamp them into something usable #and you gotta decide if it's worth the effort or if you should prioritize more recent ideas #because this process is cumulative and gets worse as you get older #today i am very very close to trying to find someone who's read my arateph stories #and asking if they'd let me just spill all the plot points of all the arateph retellings i've never written #some have fatal flaws but all have at least some aspect that i really loved #and it kills me not to have any of it in other people's imaginations #the main character and themes of the princess and the pea one #the character arc potential of the goose girl one #the clever (i think) twist on the central little red riding hood moment #one heartwrenching scene in rapunzel #i don't know if i'll ever be able to write the stories but the ideas still live in me and sometimes it hurts to keep it inside #anyhow have a good day

[tranny-alcchemy]

i have brainrot for my own oc lesbians and no other fictional couple ever

#fairypost #idc about shipping usually #except them #its funny actually #but can you blame me when like #i love the idea of just spending centuries after death finding your long dead lover #only for a god to summon you and task you with saving her soul #and in the process rescue her from an abusive partner who killed her in the first place #also its an enemies to lovers thing during the “save her soul” arc

[ronycore]

“canada forces the poor to kill themselves!” no they dont youre just getting your news from conservative christian news outlets that think assisted suicide is a sin

#its assisted suicide. its not recommended to people #its a long and vigarious process to get it #i cant just walk down to the fucking hospital and demand they kill me. are you guys sstupid