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#i dont know much part in this series this is lmao
melaninadorned · 8 months
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Museum Meetup | Melanin Adorned
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todayisafridaynight · 26 days
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I mean, I like Daigo and Y3 but it's undeniable that a lot of the reason of MineDai being small is cuz Mine, Daigo and Y3 are generally unliked? Not like hated but like just not liked down upon the bigger side of the fandom. Add to that that the yaoi girlies, like us, are just like a fraction of the fandom... well, not exactly big shit to have.
Personally... I'm kinda glad Mine is overlooked cuz... dear fucking god the radioactive waste he could create if he was popular. Mind you, I'm not exactly a Mine fan but I know he would be... not the best for larger audiences.
minedai really is just for us yaoi girlies you're so right .....
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bonestrouslingbones · 5 months
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sigh. ebony's birthday is at some point this month isnt it.
sigh. i'm not gonna be able to get this idea to combine that with a sort of last hurrah to finally kill off the ask blog format for atbb out of my head am i.
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theonlyadawong · 11 months
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one of these days im going to sit down and have a hard think abt 9/11 and how that fits in w resident evil
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hxlcyon · 2 years
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chanting to myself that the faster i finish my tasks, the sooner i can get back to reading orv
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minkiverse · 9 days
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POLY!ATEEZ FIC RECS PART 1
Part 2 - Hongjoong - Seonghwa - Yunho - Yeosang - San - Mingi - Wooyoung - Jongho
A collection of Ateez fics that I think everyone should know about!!! This has been QUITE the project, but I'm so happy to have done it. Unfortunately not all my recs could fit on one post so there will be at least one other part to this list, as well as individual member lists. (i really thought i could fit them all on one post lmaooo) I hope you enjoy and support these authors!!
DISCLAIMER none of these works are mine and majority are MATURE 18+, please review all warnings before reading!!!
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Key:
✨ - My Favs
🔥 - Smut (MINORS DNI)
⛈️ - Angst
💗 - Fluff
🍑 - Humor
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POLY!ATEEZ
Sway With Me - @luvt0kki 🔥⛈️ Sci-fi ✧ Ongoing
the world 🤌 the story 🤌 the SMUT 🤌🤌🤌 but truly this fic is such a fun take on a sci-fi adventure. im already obsessed with the mc, AND HER AND WOO'S CHEMISTRY?!?! off the charts sooooo good like 👏👏👏 the interlude has me a tiny bit nervous because now i know how well this author writes angst and yeah its gonna be a doozy 😩😩
Wonderwall - @atzfilm ✨🔥⛈️ Yandere ✧ Faerie AU ✧ Ongoing
i realized pretty quickly that yandere is much more popular in this fandom than in previous ones i've been in, so i never really read any. HOWEVER, i get it now i do lmao. this was the first one i read, and i was HOOKED like i couldn't stop reading! the story just like took over my brain, and i am thinking why am i sympathizing with the guys BUT I AM BECAUSE THEY ARE COMPLEX AND SO INTERESTING AND WELL WRITTEN!!!!! its hard to put into words how much i love this series
The Answer - @berryunho ✨🔥⛈️ Cult AU ✧ Ongoing
i genuinely don't think i've ever read a fic like this, and i mean that in literally the best way possible. i was STRESSED reading this like there are so many scenes that make me question everything, but like there is no one to trust about what is actually happening. idk if i'm making sense but this fic just needs to be read to understand the legit anxiety it gives me in certain chapters lmaooo😭😭
Deep Down - @seventhcallisto 🔥⛈️💗 ABO AU ✧ 9th Member AU ✧ Ongoing
this is just self indulgent fun AND THAT PEOPLE IS WHAT FANFICTION IS MEANT TO BE!!! like im just kicking my feet reading about this 9th member ateez finding out she's an omega!~ i'm having the TIME OF MY LIFE!
Into the Aurora - @honeyhotteoks ✨🔥⛈️💗 Idol AU ✧ Complete
this soooo quickly became my main comfort fic for ateez! like i have reread this TOO many times. sometimes i'll just revisit specific chapters, but i know the exact chapter number.... is that concerning? lmaooo~ but truly this is more than just a you date every member of ateez fic (WHICH ARE GREAT DONT GET IT TWISTED!!) but the more we learn of the mc the more i adore her and her relationship with the boys!! it's just a must read ok 👏👏
Inception - @remedyx ✨🔥⛈️💗 Dragon!Teez ✧ Royalty AU ✧ Ongoing
my brain is still stuck in this world tbh, like its maybe a bit embarrassing how many times i look at the map and moodboards and just vibe and think about this fic lmaoo! but honestly the world building is so thoughtful and its so easy to just immerse yourself in it which is amazing!!!!!!!
Dragon from the Window - @thelargefrye ✨🔥⛈️💗 Dragon!Teez ✧ Fantasy AU ✧ Ongoing
this collection of one shots, drabbles, headcanons, and world building i went through SO QUICKLY I WAS IMMEDIATLY OBSESSED. i am so genuinely invested in this story and how each member react to their connection with the mc!!!! ALSO the mc is a witch SO BIG BONUS POINTS!!!!~
like the moon - @sunmoonjune ✨⛈️💗 Warrior AU ✧ Clan Systems ✧ Ongoing
try not to cry challenge - FAILED, MULTIPLE TIMES 😭😭 this is major hurt/comfort, but its truly such a beautiful story!! i would do anything ANYTHING for gray!!!!! all of them deserve the absolute best in the world and i just adore them so much 🥹🥹🥹
Morning Mist - @mint-yooxgi ⛈️💗 Dragon!Teez ✧ Yandere ✧ Ongoing
another story with an mc that is just 🤌🤌🤌 like she is so badass i'm in love but also scared lmao,, but i think if you are new to yandere, this is a good starting point! like yes they are obsessed but not like terrifyingly so if that makes sense~
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MULTIPLE MEMBERS
This Night Together - @honeyhotteoks ✨🔥⛈️💗 Yunho x Reader x Mingi ✧ ABO ✧ Ongoing
listen i'm a bit of a slut for ABO fics and this one!!!! THIS ONE IS SO FUCKING GOOD!!!!!!!!! im like just in love with all of them not just yungi n reader but EVERYONE (except u minseok u bitch) like not only is the main plot so good but the side plots for the other members is just incredible,, i just love this story too ok if you see this author know that every fic they write is going to be a comfort fic for me 🥹🥹
Project Omen - @atzfilm 🔥⛈️ Hongjoong x Reader x Wooyoung ✧ Hybrid AU ✧ One Shot
Bouncy - @hongism 🔥Yunho x Reader x Jongho ✧ Mechanic AU ✧ One Shot
splish splash - @atozfic 🔥San x Seonghwa x Wooyoung x Yunho x Reader ✧ Swimmer AU ✧ One Shot
sharing is caring? - @byuntrash101 🔥Hongjoong x Reader x Mingi ✧ Idol AU ✧ One Shot
Untitled - @orgverse 🔥Seonghwa x Reader x San ✧ Idol AU ✧ One Shot
Untitled - @cheollipop 🔥San x Reader x Wooyoung ✧ One Shot
Threesome with Yungi with woosan watching - @k-hotchoisan 🔥Yunho x Reader x Mingi (San and Wooyoung) ✧ One Shot
one more rep - @cheollipop 🔥San x Reader x Wooyoung ✧ Personal Trainer AU ✧ One Shot
blue bird - @seonghwaddict 🔥💗San x Reader x Wooyoung ✧ Mafia AU ✧ One Shot
What's the Time, Mr. Wolf - @starlitmark 🔥Yunho x Reader x Mingi ✧ Hybrid AU ✧ One Shot
the good friend + the better friend - @byuntrash101 ✨🔥San x Reader x Mingi ✧ Idol AU ✧ Two Shot
as a sangi bias this fic changed my life maybe?!! the smut is just toe curling ESPECIALLY PART TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!! literally i could drool just thinking about this fic 🤤🤤 i need this to be my reality ASAP
Untitled - @ja3hwa 🔥Seonghwa x Yunho x Mingi x Reader ✧ Business (?) AU ✧ One Shot
knockout - @igbylicious 🔥San x Reader x Wooyoung ✧ Boxer AU ✧ One Shot
Untitled - @sanspuppet 🔥Hongjoong x Reader x Seonghwa ✧ One Shot
Untitled - @thetypingpup 🔥San x Reader x Mingi ✧ One Shot
Time of Love - @desayunho ⛈️💗 San x Reader x Wooyoung ✧ SMAU ✧ Complete
compromise - @cyberpxnk 🔥⛈️ Seonghwa x Reader x Yunho ✧ College AU ✧ Soccer AU ✧ One Shot
Untitled - @cheollipop 🔥San x Reader x Wooyoung ✧ One Shot
cheerleader - @byuntrash101 🔥Seonghwa x Yunho x San x Ming x Reader ✧ One Shot
from eden + Pt. 2 - @atzfilm 🔥⛈️ Seonghwa x Reader x Yeosang ✧ Vampire AU ✧ Two Shot
whichever way - @igbylicious 🔥💗 San x Reader x Wooyoung ✧ Neighbors AU ✧ Ongoing
Under the Comforter - @thelargefrye 🔥Seonghwa x Reader x San ✧ Idol AU ✧ One Shot
Double Trouble - @kitten4sannie 🔥 Wooyoung x Reader x Jongho ✧ Hybrid AU ✧ One Shot
What Should We Become? - @sluttywoozi 🔥💗 Yeosang x Reader x San ✧ One Shot
like a dream - @cheollipop ✨🔥💗 Yunho x Reader x Mingi ✧ One Shot
this is like so incredibly hot, literally all i need in life is to be in between these two men 😩😩😩 but it is also so sweet and both boys are so doting to the mc and the end!!!!!!!!!! so loving and cute and aaaaaaaaaaaa 😭😭😭
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SCENARIOS/TEXTS/HEADCANONS
ateez as royals who fall for you (hyungs, maknaes) - @eightmakesonebraincell 🔥⛈️💗 Royalty AU ✧ Scenarios
subby ateez - @seventhcallisto 🔥Headcanons
Ateez cumming too soon - @sluttywonwoo 🔥Headcanons
soft cuddles with ateez - @beenbaanbuun 💗 Scenarios
first kiss with ateez - @beenbaanbuun 💗 Scenarios
Ateez and pussy slapping - @kitten4sannie 🔥Scenarios
Bedroom Mishaps (hyungs, maknaes) - @seohwang 🔥💗 Scenarios
Ateez 'n free use - @seventhcallisto 🔥 Scenarios
Cupping their Cheeks - @yeorisanaxox 💗 Scenarios
Ateez as Exes + Pt. 2 - @kisshwa 🍑 Texts
Friends to Lovers Headcanons - @kpopnstarwars 💗 Scenario
boyfriend!ateez discovering you write smut - @eightmakesonebraincell 🍑 Texts
Ateez being overstimulated (hyungs, maknaes) - @ateezscupid ✨🔥 Scenarios
listen i just like sub!ateez a lot 😭😭 but like these are such a go too for me when i NEED some dom!reader content like it is so cute/hot/toe curlingly delicious 🤤🤤🤤
mtl of who would like choking - @sxcret-garden 🔥 Headcanons
texts when they think you’re asleep - @beenbaanbuun 💗🍑 Texts
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astrxealis · 2 years
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seeing ffxiv so popular makes me so incredibly happy but i'm still >:(( bcs damn the philippines has no taste at all /hj
#seeing exactly two or so people at the mall looking at the xiv shirt at uniqlo made me so giddy like hey look another knower / liker of the#critically acclaimed mmorpg im supet in love with !! and we've gone to like. 2 or 3 malls by now and visited uniqlo. still ... only them#in general tho i hate that the only shorts u'll find in person malls are 6 7 8 10 13 14 15 16#LIKE HELL YEAH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH but hey i love the others too okay :(#i dont want to live in the U.S. in the future but a part of me wants to knowing that ff is much more famous there#it just means a lot to me okayyyyyyy TvT#speaking of which everytime a friend who isnt super into final fantasy series tells me HEY IMA PLAY FF !! i honestly wonder oh my god which#/nm HELPFOWJWKFBAJJE but yeah that makes me happy happy bcs ff makes me happy hehe#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#rambling went off track but typical astria /pos WHEEZUEHWHFHAI#nah bro ppl can rlly do what they want its perfecrly okay nothing wrong w that /gen#i just rlly wish that i had friends my age who play xiv and maybe even from the philippines !!#i have. exactly 1 KRHEIAHDKSHDKA (sho u dont have tumblr but if u ever aee this ily bro /p)#i do know i have like uhhhh 3 other friends interested tho. HELPFOAHDKANS but sho rlly the goat bcs bro also actually got into gbf too#and we've only known each other since just ... march ?? feb ?? so damn. ✨ pog#help idk what im talking abt anymore but yeah#pls dont read this as like me subtly saying yall shld play ff /lh HEPLPJEKFNAK like damn fr thatd be super great but i just wanted to ramble#hehe#i def shld be more active in the community n all ... !! i have a static but theyre all adult guys . even if they all have female characters#LMAO like idm turning on my mic if ever but nah im shy and its. yeah. theyre funny n great tho /p#lowk miss twintaniaaaa TvT my friends there from eu r mostly not super active anymore except for 1 ?? and a few others again >:O but ye#timezones suck n all but i think its great we're mostly still able to yeah ... !! not to mention they checked up on us when w the elections#if anyone says online friends arent real fuck em honestly WHEEZE okay bye
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povlnfour · 6 months
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ PADDOCK TO PADDOCK (LN) PART ONE
lando norris x fem!horse rider!reader
series masterlist | next part
yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by flo_norris_showjumping, lilymhe and 128,303 others
yourusername nice little practice today in between interviews. ready for a relaxed weekend
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user1 give bean all the carrots from us!
user2 so excited for the showjumping season!!!!
flo_norris_showjumping what a duo you two are already👏🏻
user3 i love that you practice in a full face of makeup. go girl slay!
yourusername @/user3 LMAO my makeup did not look that good by the end of it. p much had to redo it all for interview no.2
lilymhe OBSESSED
yourusername @/lilymhe GIRL I MISS YOU
lilymhe MISS YOU MORE. gotta link up when you’re back around :’)
user4 lily + y/n. my fav duo. i’ve missed their flirting
landonorris just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by yourusername, alex_albon and 277,098 others
landonorris not meant to be today but we bounce back
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user5 we love you🧡 you did so well
mclaren onto better things🧡
user3 @/yourusername ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
liked by yourusername
user6 @/user3 SHE KNOWS HIS SISTER OFC SHE FOLLOWS HIM
user3 that’s hot
oscarpiastri 🧡🧡🧡
user7 the loves of my life fr
f1updates just posted ੈ✩‧₊˚
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f1updates star studded turn out today for @/lilymhe’s golf game! joining f1 stars such as lando norris, charles leclerc and alex albon is lily’s friend and pro showjumper y/n y/l/n!
user1 SHES SO CUTE
user3 the way this is just her jumping off a flight to go support her bff…. i’ll cry she looks so pretty
user7 WITH LANDO ALEX AND CHARLES???
user5 I KNOW I DONT KNOW HOW MORE PEOPLE ARENT FREAKING OUT
user8 i mean we know she knows alex bc of lily but…. lando and charles
yourusername stop looking at these photos i was so jet lagged….
user4 AND STILL CUTE!
user2 not bestie following f1updates😭
user3 @/user2 i bet she’s a lewis girlie. she has that vibe
twitter reacts ੈ✩‧₊˚
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lilymhe just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by yourusername, landonorris and 202,311 others
lilymhe good game, better celebrations
👤tagged yourusername, alex_albon, landonorris
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user1 Y/N AND LANDO??? DANCING N HANGING OUT?????
alex_albon y/n is a terrible photographer but lando is a bad dancer. it equals out
yourusername SLANDER ON MY PHOTOGRAPHY SKILLS
landonorris @/yourusername i’ll teach you to drive, you teach me to dance?
yourusername @/landonorris … meet my horse i’ll consider it
landonorris @/yourusername i said it last night and i’ll say it again… NO! no reason for an animal to have that long a neck
yourusername @/landonorris wow. friendship over before it began
alex_albon @/landonorris giraffes are calling
user7 what is going on in these comments…
user5 damn they just met and are already flirting? the devil works hard but lando works harder
yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 152,009 others
yourusername life lately
👤tagged landonorris, lilymhe
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user2 OH SO UR HANGING OUT NOW?
flo_norris_showjumping MY BROTHER?
yourusername @/flo_norris_showjumping ANSWER MY TEXTS
user6 why texts what’s going on miss y/n👀
user3 beauty
user5 all the grid boys liking… oh you know lando is talking about her
user7 who can blame him i mean LOOK AT HER
alex_albon how come lily gets a cute ass photo and the one you posted of me last week made me look like a demon
yourusername she’s my favourite parent🩷
y/nupdates posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by landonorris and 21,335 others
y/nupdates the showjumping season is officially underway! sending all our love to @/yourusername and mr. bean today on their first competition🩷
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user5 lando creeping in the likes lmao
user2 what is going on between lando and y/n…
y/nupdates all we know is that they’re friends and we love that!🩷
user9 hm
user1 ?
user9 @/user1 he doesn’t need any distractions.
user1 @/user9 bestie it’s a post announcing a competition season not a marriage proposal💀
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a/n: first part down!!! not super interesting but this is self indulgent as a horse girl myself LMAO. welcome to my acc i guess???
to be tagged when the next part goes up (won’t be long): taglist
- giselle
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nataliesfirefly · 2 months
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You and I Walk a Fragile Line - Farleigh Start x F!Reader - Part 6
a/n: hey guys!! im so sorry this part has taken me so long! im currently on a trip so i havent had much time to write! but i hope this makes up for it, im super excited for yall to read this!!! also i think im going to plan for this series to have a few more chapters, probably max 9 or 10! i love it sm i really dont want it to end 😭 but anyways enjoyyy and comment what you think! and again i apologize if the smut is mid.. btw this is not proofread LMAO
series masterlist
playlist
word count: 4.9k words
warnings: MDNI 18+, smut, fingering, oral (f!receiving), p in v, angst, language, smoking, afab reader
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You’re sitting in your bed, reading a magazine, when your flip phone rings. You lean forward to pick it up from the corner of the bed, wondering who could be calling you this late. You raise your eyebrows when you see that it’s Lola. You haven’t spoken to her since school got out. Nevertheless, you answer it and put the phone up to your ear.
“Lola! Hey,” You grin. “Oh my God, I’m so glad you picked up. I’m so bored around here,” She groans, and you smile even bigger at the sound of her voice on the other end. “Around where?” You ask curiously.
“My parents’. I have to babysit my younger sister all the time. It’s exhausting, really,” She moans. “I just want to like, go to a party or something. Honestly, I would even prefer to be going to classes right now instead of this.”
“Wow. That must mean it’s really bad then, huh?” You continue flipping through the magazine, your eyes scanning through the apparently trending fashion and makeup choices at the moment.
“Yes. Ugh. You’re at Saltburn, right?” She asks. “Yeah.” You reply.
“How’s that going?” Lola questions, and you hear another voice in the background that sounds like her, only higher-pitched. “No, I’m on the phone. Go away. Shoo,”
You try not to snicker at her shooing away her little sister. “It’s…” You trail off, trying to decide the right way to describe how the summer is going so far for you. “I don’t know. Different.”
“How so?” You pause and wonder if you should tell her what’s been going on. You decide it’s probably better not to and keep some things to yourself.
“I think it’s just cause we’re growing up. I mean, we graduate in less than two years.” You shrug and reach over to grab your glass of wine. “Oh God, don’t remind me. My parents are still asking me what my plans are,” She sighs loudly.
“I can’t believe it.” You shake your head and close the magazine, uninterested in the latest celebrity drama. An idea suddenly forms in your mind.
“Hey, the Cattons are throwing one of their big summer parties in a few days. I could invite you?” You suggest. You hear Lola gasp. “Really?! I’d love to go. I’ve heard so many stories about the Saltburn parties.” She makes it sound so dramatic, and you giggle.
“And you’d get a chance to see Felix,” You grin as you hear her jumping around. “Yeah, I would! You don’t need to convince me any further. I’ll be there,” She pauses. “Wait, but they’ll let me come, right?”
“Oh, of course. They like me a lot, so I’m sure they won’t mind.” You assure her. “Okay, perfect. Thank you so much, my love. I’ll let you get some sleep. See you soon!” She squeals excitedly and you roll your eyes with a smile as she hangs up.
You set down your phone and sigh, looking around your dim room.
You haven’t been able to get Farleigh out of your mind since your little… moment two nights ago. He’s not avoiding you, but he’s not being nice either. He’s gone back to teasing you and embarrassing you in front of the Cattons. You should’ve known that if you got too close, he’d pull away and return to his old ways.
But every little glance you two share has your stomach fluttering and your heart pounding. Every insult meant to hurt or offend you has the opposite effect. In some depraved way, you like when he degrades you. The past two nights, you’ve laid awake and stared up at the ceiling, trying to relive that night when he made you feel so good. Just the thought of him had your mind reeling. You would do anything just to feel that way again. You’re hooked.
You can’t just keep wallowing in these feelings. You want to talk to him, work things out, and go back to how they used to be a week ago. More importantly, you just want to be in his presence. It gives you some kind of thrill to be around him. It’s like a game of roulette to see which version of him you’ll get each time, and you love it. You crave his attention.
You climb off of your large bed and walk determinedly to your door, opening it quietly and sneaking down the hallway. It’s quite a long walk to Farleigh’s room, but you don’t care. You pass Felix’s room, then Venetia’s. Both of their lights are out, telling you that everyone in the house is probably asleep by now. You can only hope and pray that Farleigh isn’t.
You eventually find yourself standing in front of his room. Dim light peeks through from under his door, and you sigh with relief. He’s still awake. Your decision catches up to you and you realize how stupid it is that you’re about to knock on his door. You shake your head to clear your doubt, raising your hand and gently knocking.
You hear his bed shifting and footsteps following close after. You swallow nervously, your throat suddenly feeling dry. Your heart races with anticipation as he finally opens the door.
Fuck. He’s shirtless with only a pair of sweatpants on. Your eyes trail down subconsciously before you blink and look back up to his face. Is he wearing underwear?
“Hello,” He says, his grin foxlike. “I can’t sleep. Can we talk?” You ask, your voice shaky. You curse yourself for sounding nervous. He crosses his arms and raises his eyebrows. “Talk about what?” He questions.
You pause, unsure of what to say next. What were you going to talk about? He would deny any feelings towards you, so what was the point of even coming here?
“Just let me in, please.” You step forward and avoid his gaze. He steps to the side wordlessly, opening the door further to let you into his room.
You breathe in the familiar scent of that candle he’s always burning, and the scent of his cologne. It’s musky and spicy, with notes of vanilla. You tried to memorize it everytime you were close to him. You walk over to his bed and sit down on the edge, looking up at him as he closes the door behind him.
“Can I have a cigarette?” You ask, pointing to the pack sitting on his bedside table. He nods, and you carefully take one. He hands you the lighter.
He stares down at you as you light the cigarette, taking a drag from it. He chuckles to himself and you exhale, furrowing your eyebrows. “What’s funny?”
“You always said you hated the smell. Yet here you are, asking me for a cigarette,” He replies with a scoff. “Maybe you’re just a bad influence,” You shoot back, and his smile slightly fades.
You can see his eyes traveling down your body, lingering on your thighs and your bare legs. You had outgrown these sleep shorts, but you never cared because you figured no one would see you in them. Well, there goes that.
“Are we not going to talk about the other night?” You mutter. “What’s there to talk about?” He replies, and you roll your eyes. “Are you-” You pause and let out a frustrated breath. “Are you serious?” You exclaim angrily.
“You can’t blame it on being drunk this time, Farleigh.” You tell him, and he freezes, his gaze faltering downwards.
“Can we not talk about that? Let’s just…” He sighs with exasperation and sits next to you. You turn away from him, looking out the window. You decide not to press the issue, since it’s apparently too much for him to think about right now. Honestly, you aren’t even able to fully process what’s been going on between you two.
“Let’s just… talk,” He says finally, and you face him again, exhaling a small cloud of smoke. “Okay.” You shrug. It’s what you both do best: Talking. About anything and everything, despite the strange history of your relationship. You guessed that it was because you had known each other for so long, that it just came naturally. He’s just… real. He’s never pretending or putting on a façade, at least around you he’s not. Around the Cattons, he has to, because to them he’s just the wild child, the comedic relief, the American. You feel like you are the only one that gets to see the real Farleigh, and it feels like a privilege. But you know that’s not true, and you choose to believe it anyway.
“So… Our third year at Oxford,” Farleigh says. You let out a breath and raise your eyebrows. “Can’t believe it’s already been two years,” You both smile, thinking of all the good and bad memories you’ve made so far during your years at university.
“Can I be honest?” You ask, and he nods. “I’m scared.” You say simply. His eyebrows knit together. “Of what?” He replies. “Graduating. You know, I’ll probably go to graduate school or something, but I need to start making my own money. Get a job. Do adult things,” You sigh just at the thought of all the responsibilities. “I can’t be on a scholarship forever. Or have my parents pay forever,” You continue, shaking your head. “I’m putting them through enough as it is.”
Farleigh nods again with a look of understanding. “I might go back to the states. See my mom, maybe stay there for a while.” He says. You can’t help but feel a little sad at the thought of him being away for so long. You hate to admit it, but you would miss him.
“But we don’t have to worry about that right now. You’re too uptight. Let yourself have fun,” He nudges you softly. “I’m trying,” You mutter. “Well, you’re smoking. That’s one step closer,” He laughs a bit and you roll your eyes.
It goes quiet and you stare down into your lap. You can feel his eyes on you, and your heart begins to race with anticipation. That familiar tension returns in the air between you and Farleigh.
You look up slightly, his eyes meeting with yours. Your stomach churns as you look down to see his hand inching towards your thigh, eventually resting on top of it. “I know why you came here,” He says, his voice lowered.
You look back up to him. “What?” You whisper. “Don’t play dumb,” He shakes his head. “I’m not.” You reply, trying hard not to break the intense eye contact.
You gulp nervously and finally look away, your face giving you away and burning red. “Hmm,” He hums, his thumb brushing across your thigh. You try to distract yourself by pressing the cigarette out on the ashtray on his bedside table, watching the little flame burn out.
He gently reaches up and grabs your chin, tilting your head back towards him. He drags his thumb down your bottom lip as you stare into his eyes. He grins slightly before moving his hand to cup your cheek, leaning in closer until your noses brush together. You know you shouldn’t be doing this. You know Farleigh is emotionally unavailable and toxic, and he won’t ever discuss his feelings or yours. But you can’t help but melt into the kiss, his touch, his aura. It’s like he’s magnetic, pulling you in everytime you try to pull away.
Somehow, every single time he kisses you, it’s better than the first time. Your tongues intertwine as your lips move in a perfect rhythm while both of you fall back onto his bed clumsily. One of his hands tangles in your hair, and the one that was resting on your leg moves up to rest on your waist, his fingers caressing your bare skin due to your tank top riding up. He eventually shifts his position so that he’s on top of you, and you turn to lay on your back underneath him.
His kisses begin to move down to your jawline, then your neck. He sucks and licks your skin so cruelly, but you don’t want him to stop. You breathe in the scent of his hair, his curls tickling your face, and you can already feel yourself becoming weak again.
You feel his hands start to trail down your body, resting on your hips, as he moves down the bed and you peer down to see him looking up at you from between your legs. Feverish heat burns across your skin just at the sight of it.
“Wait, wait. I’ve never-“ You start, suddenly feeling nervous. “It’s okay,” Farleigh replies, his eyes soft and warm as he gazes up at you. “Just relax,” He murmurs, gently pulling down your shorts and panties at the same time, shuffling them off your legs.
Just relax, you think. Easier said than done. You’ve pictured this moment so many times in the past few days, and you can’t believe it’s becoming reality.
And of all the times you’ve fantasized about this, none of them could ever do Farleigh’s beauty justice. His dark eyes are shining with something of lust and hunger, his plush lips slightly parted and his shoulders broad and golden. His curly hair is only slightly wet from his shower earlier, yet still perfectly coiled.
He looks up at you, trying to convey something through his gaze. “So pretty,” He mutters, tracing a finger along your thigh. Your breath catches in your throat and you feel your stomach fluttering already.
He lifts your legs up and places them over his shoulders. Your heart pounds in anticipation and you can hear yourself breathing among the silence.
Farleigh leans down and presses a few kisses along your inner thigh, and you don’t know how much longer you can stand his teasing. You watch him gaze up at you through his lashes as he dips a finger into your wetness and you see the smirk that tugs at his lips. He raises his eyebrows at you and your face turns red. “Stop,” You cover your face with both hands, your stomach doing flips. You can’t handle how perfect he looks right now, even as he teases you for how soaked you are already.
“Hey, look at me,” He says, his deep voice vibrating against your skin. You let your hands fall back to your sides, smiling shyly. His expression turns more serious as he furrows his brows, slipping his finger inside of you. He moans before you even can, his head falling against your thigh.
That familiar stretch around his finger has your mind reeling as you throw your head back. He pulls it out and you whimper at the loss, until you feel his middle and ring finger on your clit. Your hands instinctively move to grasp the sheets as he strokes your bundle of nerves perfectly, letting your head fall back down to watch him. He continues to maintain eye contact and it makes you so weak.
Your brain almost turns to mush as you see him leaning down, his head buried between your legs. A moan louder than you intended leaves your mouth as you feel his tongue greedily licking a stripe up your pussy.
“Shit,” You huff, your chest heaving up and down. No one had ever given you head before, until now, so you didn’t really understand your girlfriends when they would tell you how amazing it felt. But now, you completely get it. His tongue moves in long, slow strokes and his pretty nose nudges perfectly against your clit.
He barely lifts his head so he can stare up at you to watch your reaction. You grind up against his face, your hand reaching down to grab a handful of his curls. He groans at the feeling before inserting a finger again, moving at the perfect pace along with his tongue. The combination is enough to make your legs shake. The lewd sounds of him lapping up your cum and both of your wanton moans echo throughout his room.
“Farleigh!” You almost scream his name before letting out a long, drawn out moan. He glances up at you once more, his pupils huge with lust. He moans against you as he absolutely devours you, adding a second finger in. His long fingers brush against that divine spot inside of you and you whimper helplessly, your other hand gripping his sheets as if it could help ground you somehow. That delicious heat builds in the base of your stomach, spreading like a fire.
“I’m gonna-“ You gasp for air, your chest heaving up and down. His eyes are half-lidded and he seems completely lost in the moment, just absolutely pussy drunk. “Let go,” He says, his voice deep and raspy.
And you do exactly that. The pleasure shoots through your veins like a drug, your grasp in his hair tightening and your hips rolling as you ride it out. You eventually come down from your high, letting your legs drop from his shoulders as you let out a shaky sigh, your heart still pounding against your ribs.
“Fuckk,” You breathe out, resting your head against the pillow. Farleigh crawls over you, leaning down to kiss you. The lower half of his face is covered in your slick, but you couldn’t care less. He kisses you passionately, desperately, groaning into your mouth. You can taste yourself on his lips and his tongue, and it just turns you on even more.
He pulls away, his lips hovering over yours. You look up at him and suddenly feel an indescribable desire wash over you as you stare into his deep brown eyes. It’s like you can’t get close enough to him, like you need more than everything he’s already given you. You want him inside of you. You want to feel every part of him. You want him to feel every part of you.
“Farleigh,” You whisper, reaching up to touch his face. “What is it?” He whispers back, lightly touching your own face.
“I want you,” You say. You don’t care how stupid you sound right now. This carnal desire has completely taken over you.
“In what way?” He replies, smirking smugly. “I think you know which way I mean,” You mutter. You don’t have time for his teasing, although you love it.
His expression softens and he seems to understand what you mean. “Please, I need you,” You can’t believe you’re begging for Farleigh of all people right now. You know you’ll be regretting it later. His eyes widen and he seems shocked by your confession.
“Far…” You whisper, tracing your finger along his lips. He opens his mouth to speak, hesitating slightly.
“Do you know what you do to me?” He asks, his voice soft. You look up at him and tilt your head. He takes your hand and guides it down below his waist while still looking down at you. You gasp softly when you feel that his dick is so hard underneath his sweatpants. It has to be painful. You slowly rub your hand against him and his eyebrows draw together as he stutters slightly, and it almost looks like he’s in pain.
“Baby-“ Farleigh whimpers. “Please,” You beg once again, and he nods, quickly taking his pants off and throwing them somewhere on the floor of his bedroom. You look down at his dick, and you have to keep your jaw from dropping.
It’s definitely the biggest you’ve seen, and although you haven’t seen many in your lifetime, you know he would be considered above average. It’s long, with a bit of girth to it, veiny and already leaking precum from the tip. You feel yourself starting to get nervous. You aren’t sure if you could even take all of it, but hell, you’re going to try. You hope he didn’t pick up on your reaction, because you know he would tease you over it.
He places his hands on either side of your head and leans down onto his elbows. He never takes his eyes off yours as he positions himself. You wrap your legs around his waist, letting your ankles rest on his back.
He slowly begins to slide in, and you grunt quietly at the pain. He goes a bit deeper before you panic and place a hand on his lower stomach, stopping him. “I can’t-“ You wince in pain.
“Yes, you can. You can take it,” He nods and brushes the side of your face with his fingers. He takes your hand off of his stomach gently and places your arm back onto the bed. You nod in an attempt to encourage yourself, gritting your teeth to withstand the pain. You reach up to his shoulders, resting your hands on his shoulder blades, trying to keep your nails from digging into his skin as you hold onto him.
“Fuck,” Farleigh grunts as your walls grip him tightly, sucking him in. Eventually he’s buried inside of you to the hilt, and you can feel every inch of him. You’re still trying to adjust to his size, and the pain is slowly subsiding as he groans and drops his head and closes his eyes. You press your hips up against his, trying to get him to start moving. “Far,” You mutter. You can tell he’s trying to hold back. He breathes heavily and opens his eyes again, gazing into yours.
“I’m ready,” You whisper. His eyebrows knit together as he rolls his hips slowly, causing your eyes to roll back and drawing a short moan out of you. He shudders, slightly pulling out of you before thrusting back in. You wonder how he’s so good at this as your nails dig crescent moons into his back with each slow thrust and roll of his hips. Your mouth falls open and you try to be quieter but it’s no use.
He buries his head into the crook of your neck, his curls tickling your face. He’s whimpering and moaning your name and other incoherent nonsense right into your ear. He sets a beautiful rhythm, his bed creaking underneath you as you sink into the plush of the mattress. You think you hear the headboard hitting the wall but you don’t care about the loud sounds you two are creating. You just don’t want this moment to end.
He looks back up to you and you can see he’s already fucked out. His eyes are even more glazed over than before and sex sweat forms on his brow. He whimpers helplessly and pants heavily. “You’re so good,” He breathes. “So, so good,” You could probably cum just from his words alone.
You let out a wanton moan as he hits that spot again, deep inside of you. “Oh, fuck!” You gasp and claw at his shoulders. He drops his head again, kissing your neck as he thrusts into you faster and deeper each time, hitting your spot over and over once he’s found it.
“Yeah, that’s it,” He groans against your neck and you feel tears brimming in your eyes. “Farleigh- It’s-“ You can’t seem to form words, your brain turned to sizzling hot liquid. “I know, I know,” He whimpers, his voice slightly higher pitched and breathless. You try to hold on longer, but you’re already coming undone as your orgasm hits you sooner than you expected. Your body stills and you clench even harder around him. He moans, that pained expression crossing his face once again. “Oh God,” He chokes out, his thrusts beginning to become less steady.
“Where should I-“ Farleigh pants. “Inside,” You tell him. You’re on birth control, but you don’t have the mental capacity to explain that to him or explain why. His hips stutter and he stiffens, finishing inside of you, the warm feeling spreading throughout your lower stomach. He collapses on top of you, his head on your chest, resting on the soft fabric of your shirt.
You’re already sleepy and physically exhausted from what just took place. You breathe in his scent one more time and let out a sigh, staring up at the ceiling and trying to process what you just did. Then he’s wrapping his arms around you gently before pulling out of you slowly. You grunt a bit, feeling a dull ache between your legs, but you can’t help but miss the feeling of him inside of you.
He adjusts the both of you so that you’re both laying on your side, allowing you to stretch out a bit and cuddle up to him, tucking your head in the crook of his neck. He holds you, and for a moment, it feels like a real relationship. Something you had never experienced. Something deep. Something real. And then you remember that it’s not. After this, he will go back to avoiding you and acting like he can’t stand you. You just wish that he would put his pride away and admit to you what he really feels. But what does he really feel? Are you stupid for thinking that there’s something here?
Farleigh strokes his fingers through your hair, brushing away some of the strands plastered onto your forehead by your sweat. He seems to notice your silence.
“You’re thinking too much,” He says, his voice beautifully hoarse. You sigh, relaxing your shoulders. “Am I?” You reply, your voice weaker than you thought it would be.
“Just sleep here tonight,” He mutters, resting his chin on top of your head. You so badly want to ask him to be serious and have an actual conversation with you about your… relationship.
“Okay… but we need to talk about this,” You respond quietly. He sighs and shifts a bit, careful not to move you too much. “We can in the morning,” He says, but you know that won’t happen. You’ll just have to settle for no answers to your questions for the time being.
You curl up closer to him and let your eyes close, breathing slowly and peacefully. “Goodnight,” You murmur. “Night,” He replies, sounding just as tired as you are. You drift off to sleep in Farleigh Start’s arms.
ONE YEAR EARLIER
You were usually on okay terms with Farleigh. But you remember exactly when the dislike turned into hatred.
It was right before end of term exams and Felix convinced you to go to the pub to blow off some steam and relax after all your revising. You reluctantly agreed, then regret your decision when you saw Farleigh and Sasha there.
It was pretty far into the evening and you were beginning to get sleepy. You had spaced out for a moment, staring out the window and watching the snow fall before you heard something that peaked your interest.
“I mean, Felix, you have got to settle down,” Farleigh chuckled and nudged Sasha, pointing his cigarette at Felix.
Felix grinned stupidly and shrugged. “Listen, mate. I’ve tried.” Some other friends of his joined in with the laughter.
You sat up and leaned forward, facing Farleigh. “You’re one to comment on relationships,” You said, raising an eyebrow. Everyone else sort of quieted down after hearing your words.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Farleigh rolled his eyes at you and Sasha just glared. “You and Sasha. You’re dysfunctional.” You responded, unafraid to challenge him.
“Excuse me?” Sasha looked at you like you just committed a hate crime. “Yeah. He cheats on you, you cheat on him, you get back together, blah blah blah.” You took a sip of your beer and shrugged. “It’s gone on for almost a year now. It’s exhausting,”
Farleigh chuckled. “Ohh, you want to come after my relationship?” He smirked as if he was cooking up a plan in his mind of how to humiliate you best.
“Well, I bet you would like everyone to know that you lost your virginity to Joshua Brown,” Farleigh said, loud enough for even people from other tables to hear. A small chorus of gasps echoed across the room.
“You’re desperate, easy, and sloppy. You take anyone who wants you. I guess that’s what happens when you get no attention before you go to college, hm?” He just kept going, and the whole room went silent
“I’ve seen you walk out of so many dorms at six in the morning, it’s insane. You can’t even keep a fucking man,” Farleigh’s tone was harsher and colder than you’d ever heard before. Felix was staring at you in shock and Sasha was giving you that judgemental look.
You looked around to see all the pairs of eyes on you. “Fucking hell, Farleigh,” Felix muttered, shaking his head at him.
You stood up and grabbed your bag hastily, storming out of the pub with tears in your eyes. Why was he such a bitch? Why did he hate you?
Your reputation was officially ruined. All that time, he never told anyone about your situation with Joshua. Until now. He was doing so well. The whole class thought you were an innocent and pure, high achieving student, and now what would they think? You wish you didn’t care so much about how others perceive you, but you do.
You hated Farleigh. You hated him for ruining your reputation and your image. It was impossible to get him back or do something worse, since basically everyone knew he was a slut. But he got praised for it.
Ever since that night at the pub, other students would look at you sideways and whisper things about you as if you couldn’t hear them.
Fuck you, Farleigh. You decided you were officially done with him and your weird friendship. Even if that meant having to avoid him at every cost.
taglist: @isla-finke-blog @ibimbogrl @drunkmysticsquirrel @alonia-olivia @novemilady @saltburnsworld @florkt @i-love-ptv
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idlerin · 1 year
Text
NONSENSE
an oikawa tooru social media au
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pairing. celebrity!oikawa tooru x f!reader
synopsis. you were oikawa tooru’s #1 fan, until you became his #1 hater. you hated him so much you went viral on twitter (accidentally) and literally became known as “the oikawa tooru hater”, doesn’t help that he keeps fueling the fire by subtweeting you. everyone is all in for this new drama. what isn’t known to the public, is that this particular drama’s been on hold for three years (him being your ex and all).
tags. social media au, celebrity smau, college au, exes to lovers, second chance romance, idiots in love, crack, humor (hopefully), fluff, and perhaps a little angst? ehe (groveling !!)
warnings. time stamps dont really matter unless i say so, cursing, some drinking alcohol n stuff and sometimes suggestive but nothing graphic
status. completed (01/15/23 - 02/11/24)
— playlist.
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teasers
teaser 1 — teaser 1.5 — teaser 2
profiles
[name]’s pe(s)ts | in need of medical attention
episodes !
(⚘) — has narrative parts
ACT I
01. rid me of my despair
02. murder is ethically wrong
03. he’s literally everywhere
04. i’m NOT petty (⚘)
05. i think i’ve seen this film before
06. he’s back !
07. baby girl of all baby girls
08. the famous friend
09. forget me not
10. why are you running!? (⚘)
ACT II
11. blast from the past
12. i despise you (⚘)
13. villains are hot (⚘)
14. adulting and other important stuff (⚘)
15. what we look forward to
16. a nightmare dressed like a daydream
17. antithetical girlie
18. this is the tactic (⚘)
19. honey it hurts (⚘)
20. exes and ohs
21. takoyaki cravings
22. kill me with kindness
23. tell me, tell me (⚘)
24. do you think about me?
25. wish u were sober (⚘)
ACT III
26. you look like shit (⚘)
27. a taste of fame
28. reminds me of
29. helpless, breathless (⚘)
30. oh how you woo me
31. all over again
32. disconnected
33. this love is so illogical
34. don’t care if you ruin me (⚘)
35. hate clingy men
36. need you like oxygen (⚘)
37. media craze
38. hard to love (⚘)
39. coming home
40. only your love
EPILOGUE
41. new friends
42. love languages
43. utterly nonsensical
end
bonus content
post break-up [name]
don’t you know that i’m intoxicated !
you said you liked the way i spoke
unsent letter #1
one of the boys
kuroo being a menace for 12 panels straight
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taglist is CLOSED !
to be REMOVED from the taglist you can just send an ask or comment :)
notes. hey so i’m starting my first smau series?!!? *squeals and kicks feet in excitement* i hope i get to finish it lmao i plan to not make it that long prolly around only like 30 chaps! hope u’ll enjoy reading it as much as i’ll enjoy making it! also thank you everyone for 200 followers! i rlly appreciate it <3
icons used as pfps are not mine but the content of this smau is. please do not repost this on any other platform. © idlerin 2023
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antonsgf · 4 months
Text
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ bf!anton pt. 2 ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
bye this is so long overdue oops !! part one is here !!
bf!anton likes to send you little texts throughout the day just to update you on what he's doing while on schedules and he most definitely miss you :(
he would also send tik toks and .5 pics of his hyungs just for funisies and you should send some back !!!
speaking of tik toks, yall would spend hours creating some !! your drafts are filled with 100s of silly little videos
especially trendy couple vids like this one :))
bf!anton would definitely bring you around to hang out with his hyungs and of course they would tease him !!
but don't worry because you would definitely defend your man if needed be !!
like imagine one night yall are having a group movie night and you're all snuggled up next to tonny and giving him a smooch on the cheek
next thing you know eunseok is like "ugh get a room :P"
without a beat your response would be like "damn bro i would be mad too if i didn't have someone kissing up on me like get a gf :P"
everyone is like ":O ohhhhhh shit!" "you finally met your match hyung :)" lmao you and eunseok would go toe to toe !!
you gets down and you dont play about your tonny !! it's all jokes though so no worries :))
aside from that anton would feel so much pride and happiness from the sight of you getting along with his hyungs esp sohee !! but like sohee was lowkey his wingman tho LMAOOO
tonny is an unconfirmed taurus venus, which in my delulu head means one of his favorite things to do with you is taking a nap or cuddling which leads to said naps !!
he just give top tier cuddler like !! his arms look so warm and welcoming adafklhfjhafjhd
imagine yall cuddling up all nice and peaceful !! you're wearing one of his t-shirts and he's holding you all warm and snug throughout the night against his chest ahhh !! i would simply just die right then and there fr !!
the next morning you wake up with his arms still around you and you're like stuck physically because his arms are locked in !!
it's always the same scenario of you two being like
"ant we gotta get up :3" "ahh just five more minutes baby :3"
his sleepy self would refuse to let go because being bed with you is like paradise !! and he doesn't want it to end...unless...
"i'll make your special yogurt parfait you like for breakfast :)"
he would relunctantly let you go but only because how could he turn down his special greek yogurt parfait that he is more than capable of making himself made by the love of his life ???
and it's not even all that !! you literally found a recipe on tiktok and made it for him one day !! now he texts you every now and then wishing you were around to make it !!
"babe it's literally four ingredients ??" "but it's not the same when you don't make it :(("
food would be another part of his love language because we all know how much our boy loves his snacks !!
and how could you deny your boyfriend from a treat that's handmade from you ?? like make it make sense ??
thanks for reading and waiting lmaooo !! might make make this a series but no promises !!
feel free to send me asks or let me know what yall think :3
♡ kimmia ♡
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soggyriceee · 11 months
Note
Moth to a flame part 3?
Moth To A Flame | Konig NSFW
| first of all, I just wanna say thank you for all the support on this story. when I say I was not expecting to make this a series I wasn't. I literally was listening to the song and got some really good inspiration for a quick little smut and kept it pushing lmao. im so glad you guys like it and I hope to write more long stories in the future! in this part I will say Konig is a little crazy, and a lot of mentions about stalking, mommy king(hehehe), and aggressive sex are mentioned. also horrible German translation. if these are any triggers to you please please do not read this part! thank you again ily all sm <3 |
four months have passed since you moved away. you and your boyfriend now live in New York, working a daytime job as a school nurse. you finally decided to put your college degree to work. your boyfriend worked at the same company, got a raise and is planning on taking you both out to Cancun for the summer. and of course,
you got the abortion.
it was the least you could do to help make your boyfriend feel better. the last thing you needed was to be alone in New York, a city too big for someone to learn on their own. you were happy. contempt. Konig was out of your life and you were able to focus on your boyfriend now.
however, arguments and trust issues were inevitable after what happened. as much as your boyfriend loved you, he couldn't trust that the same thing would happen again. whether it was Konig or someone else. a ring light camera was placed at the front of your apartment door, checked by him every night for Konig but also any suspicious activity. "its more so for our safety." he had told you a few days ago. but you knew it was more to prove his doubts wrong.
Konig harnt reached out to you. he was blocked on everything, completely ghosted. but you knew that wouldn't stop him from looking for you. you just hoped it wasn't anytime soon. the abortion was already a big step into the right path for you, Konig coming in and ruining that path was not what you needed. you were happy where your life was now, you were happy with your boyfriend. Konig would never be an issue again.
that was until you heard a knock at the door of your office. "come in~" you said sing songly, expecting another high schooler to come in with some lame excuse to be here and not in class. you paid no mind to when the door open, finishing putting the rest of the cough drops into the jar. "what can I help you with?" you asked, back still turned.
it was quiet for a moment. then, you felt two strong arms wrapping around your waist. you gasped, turning quickly. there, Konig looked down at you, a wide spread smile on his face. "Meine Liebe, ich habe dich so sehr vermisst.." he whispered, leaning down placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.
to say your heart felt like it would jump out your body was a humungous understatement. you know it wasn't your fault this time it was happening. but you still felt beyond guilty, and most of all scared. pushing him back, you moved to the front of your desk. " h-how.. how did you find me- how did you get in?" you asked, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. "dont worry about that my love.. im here now. im here to take you back home." he said, tilting his head slightly.
he looked around, humming softly. "this is a cute office. very you like." he said, smiling at the photos of you and students you had grown close to over the last few months. but he didnt really care about that. he cared about getting you back to "home". "I am home Konig. you need to leave me alone im serious this time. im happy here im happy with-"
"but you aren't. I know you aren't. I know you miss me meine liebe. I miss you too. think about you all the time." he said, another smile coming across his face. he moved closer to you but you backed away. he sighed, crossing his arms. he was unhealthy. he needed serious help. help you simply couldn't offer him. "how long are you going to play this game." he said, his tone more serious, his eyes shooting you daggers.
"im not playing a game Konig you need to move on. you cheated many times. you lost your chance to be with me." you said, looking to his side. he wasn't one to get angry, so you weren't worried about that. you were worried about falling for his gaze, his puppy eyes. " gosh those were mistakes. I regret it. I love you. I love you please come back to me." he begged, his voice going from demanding to desperate.
he moved forward again, this time following you until your back hit the wall.
shit.
he placed an arm on the side of your head, the other moving for your chin. smiling, he tilted his head. "dont you see.. no matter where you go, how many phone numbers you make. ill find you, like I always do. and ill fuck you good, like I always do. ill have you leave him and be with me. who you really wanna be with." he whispered, his eyes moving down from your lips to your covered breasts. your chest rose and fell quickly, tears brimming your eyes. you hated him. but you hated him even more because you know he was right. he always fucks you good. he always finds you.
"please.. please leave me alone." you whimpered, fighting back the tears. he ignored your cries and moved his hand to your tummy, frowning. "our baby.. where is it? you should be a lot bigger by now." he said, stepping back a bit.
at that moment you had remembered the abortion, cursing yourself for allowing it to slip your mind so quickly. "where is our baby?" he asked again, his eyes going back to dark, angry ones. you opened your mouth to say words, but none came out. what were you to say? what if he really got angry with you this time? but he had the right to know. and you knew that. after all, he was the father.
"i..I aborted it Konig.. it wouldn't have grown up with its real father anyways." you replied after a moment. you couldn't bring yourself to look at him. you knew all to well he wasn't going to have a pleased look on his face.
silence filled the large room until finally, he spoke up. "well. we can always try again." he said, turning to the chair at your desk. he rolled it out, sitting on it. "come here." he said, patting his lap. but you didnt move. he smiled, shaking his head. "always been defiant. I remember when we first got together I had to train that pretty little mouth of yours to not talk back to me. now look at you. thats what happens when you mess with boys, libeling. not men."
his words didnt bother you in an annoyed or angry way. unlucky for you, it made you clench around nothing. and he knew it did. he knew you loved being talked down on while being treated like a princess. he knew exactly how to turn you on and he was abusing that knowledge right now. " I bet you missed being thrown around, fucked like some worthless toy and then babied right after. dont you?" he stood from the chair, making his way back over to you. " you miss your mouth getting fucked, filled with cum. swallowing it all. making a mess on my dick.. fuck I think about it all the time. those pretty little eyes of yours looking up at me. mascara running down your face while I slide myself down that tight, tight fucking throat of yours." he said, looking down to your throat before quickly looking back into your eyes.
wet wasn't even the word to describe the situation going on in your underwear. you cursed yourself mentally for allowing him to talk to you like this. but you couldn't stop him. because he was right. your boyfriend, no matter how hard he tried, simply couldnt man handle you the way you loved. the way you needed. he was gentle, afraid to leave so much as a hickey on you. but he was slowly becoming more open to it, especially since seeing Konig pounding you from behind. he wanted you to stay, he didnt want you to move on to another. or back to Konig.
"Konig you need to leave.. im not coming back to you. you messed up far too man-"
" so let me make it up to you libeling.. lassen Sie mich um Sie kümmern.." he was now standing right infront of you, looking down at you. you couldnt look away. the way he spoke to you in his mother tongue turned you on, always. even if you couldnt understand every word, his deep voice and accent made it hot. his hand slid up your nursing shirt, gripping your covered breast. you bit down on your lip, closing your eyes. you couldnt give in. not this easy.
shoving his hand down, you stepped away. "Konig leave or ill call the police. ill write a restraining order anything to get you away from me." you finally said, fixing your shirt. "your so hot when you try to act all tough maus.. fuck its making me so hard." he said, pulling at his pants buckle. your eyes flickered down for a few seconds, but it didnt go unnoticed. "see dont fight it maus.. I know you want me to fuck that tight little pussy of yours. make you cum all over me. in this office of yours. you want me to fuck you on your desk huh?" he whispered, unbuckling his pants and slowly pulling his already hard dick out.
the tip literally dripped pre cum, dropping to the floor. it made you whimper, only fueling his craving for you. "Konig.. please leave." you whispered out, but it wasn't confident enough for him to believe. he smirked, turning down towards your chair once again. "maus dont you see how hard I am? I need you. I crave you." he said softly, eyes looking at you so "innocently".
his hand gripped the base of his dick, a sigh coming from him. he leaned over, spitting onto the tip and moving his hand down his shaft, slowly back up. a quiet groan left his lips, his head resting back and looking to you. he sped up his hand movements, keeping eye contact onto you. small, desperate whimpers slipped from his lips as his hips bucked up. "oh maus.. please~" he whimpered, his chest rising fast, falling at the same rate.
you whimpered at him, wanting to go and slide down on his dick. not matter how badly you wanted to keep up with the happiness you had in your life right now, you needed him. he saw your confusion and smiled, taking his other hand and reaching out. you hesitated, but slowly walked over to him. his movements slowed down, his eyes looking up at you. "please.." he whimpered.
you knew this was wrong. and you hated how much he always found a way to wrap you around his finger. how he always managed to get you beneath him, fucking into you relentlessly. and you hated how he always came back into your life when you were happy. you hated how badly you craved him, no matter how far away he was, or how bad he treated you.
you couldn't process anything until you felt him pull you down onto his lips. and you couldnt stop yourself from kissing him back. your hands cupped his face, forcing your tongue into his mouth. he smirked against your lips, pulling you onto his lap. you grazed over his exposed dick, sitting right front of it. you pulled away, a long strong of saliva connecting you two.
" maus.. i wanna fuck you so bad. please." he whispered, his hand sliding up your shirt, pulling your bra down and playing with your nipple. you whimpered, nodding your head quickly. "c-can I lock the door?" you whispered, looking down at him. but he was so focused on your nipples, and playing with himself that he same time. you assumed he didnt care, and continued to pull your shirt up and off.
he wrapped his arms around your waist and stood, sitting you on your desk. "imma fuck you... send you back home with my cum swimming around inside you. you want that?" he said, pulling your pants down. you hated how much you wanted to say yes. it was killing you. but the way his tip ran up and down your slit, teasing your entrance as he whispered filthy words into your ear, you couldnt help but whimper out a pathetic 'yes'.
thats all he needed to hear from you before he slid his full, thick length into your tight cunt, a deep groan coming from him as his head pressed against the top of yours. a gasp slipped from you, your hand covering your mouth. as hot as this was, fucking in your nurse office with the door unlocked, it was risky. in fact, you could loose your job. but he wanted that. he wanted you to have a reason to leave and go back with him, no matter how crazy or detrimental the reason. " so fucking dirty.. getting fucked on your office desk-shit- I bet you want someone to come in here and see this tight cunt getting fucked huh?" he whispered, gripping the back of your head, pulling it so your eyes met his.
he was hot. you couldnt admit it. the way he looked as he fucked you made you go feral. his hair sticking to the top of his forehead, eyes locked onto yours as small whimpers and groans left his pretty little lips. he could say the same for you. the way your tits jerked up and down every thrust he gave, your desk squeaking along with it. your hands gripping onto him as you gave him small, pathetic begs. "say it louder baby.. what do you want? be a big girl for me." he whispered, pulling his now shiny dick out, slamming it back into you. your hands gripped him harder as his grip on your head did too. "f-faster.. please" you finally were able to muster out.
his hips waited no time to move faster, feeling every vein and inch of his thickness move in and out of you. it was heaven. no matter how much you hated him, you couldnt stop yourself from letting him fuck you. anywhere. anytime. you guys were like magnets, no matter how hard you both tried you couldnt keep away from each other.
the more time went on, you realized the tears forming in konigs eyes. they weren't from pleasure either. " k-konig?" you asked, your hands falling to his lower stomach. but he kept going, no matter how hard you tried to stop him, he kept going. "I-i hate you.. so fucking much. I hate y-you because I know I c..I cant live with or without you-fuck.. I-i crave you even when I shouldn't.. I fucking hate you" he cried out, small whimpers coming every now and then from him.
for a moment you had to stop and think about what he just said. but, he didnt give you much time. the more his tears fell the faster and harder his thrusts became. the more aggressive he became. he let go of your head but pushed your body back, your bare back hitting the cold desk, pens and papers falling to the floor. "k-konig" your whimpered, your legs wrapping around his waist. "I-im gonna..cum soon..fuck!" he groaned, his head falling into your chest. his hot tears covered you and you could've sworn you heard 'mommy' fall from his lips every now and then. it made you clench around him seeing him so vulnerable, so emotional while fucking you.
he took one of your legs, pushing it up so your foot rested on top of the desk. his thrusts became deeper, the sound of your moans growing louder. his hand quickly found your mouth, silencing all the whimpers and moans that slipped from you. "m..mommy im cumming~" he cried out, his thrusts becoming more and more sloppy.
his sudden change in persona threw you off guard, but you liked it. too much. the closer he got the more he chanted 'mommy'. and you could tell, he was really close. "m-mommy I-ill hold it back.. ill hold it back till y-you cum first~" he whimpered into your chest, his arms finding your waist and pulling you up into him.
your hands quickly found his hair and tugged it, moaning how good you felt. "k-konig keep going.. im so close~" you moaned, your head falling back off the desk, eyes shutting closed. he growled, slamming deeper into you, stabbing your squishy g spot each time.
the knot in your stomach quickly came undone and not too long after, he came with you, his grip on you tight enough to snap you in half if he really wanted. he whimpered as the last bit of his cum shot into you, small 'plat plat's coming from beneath you two. he pulled out, watching the mix of cum pour out of you as if you were a waterfall, dropping to the floor.
heavy breathing filled the now silent room as you slowly lifted yourself up. "ill get you a paper towel." he said softly, shuffling over to the counter and grabbing the roll. he brought it over, getting to his knees and slowly, spreading your legs. taking the towel he ran over your pussy slow, collecting the cum. it was silent. you didn't know if you should bring up what he said, what he called you.
he sensed your tension and looked up at you from below. "I meant every word I said. I hate you. but I hate you because I love you too much to let you be someone else's. nobody.. nobody has ever made me this crazy.. ever. you've unlocked a part of me that I didn't know existed. I didn't know I had. my heart hurts seeing you happy with someone who isn't me, having a life with someone who isn't me. and what hurts more is to know I caused that." he spoke, his voice soft.
you looked down at him, your chest hurt. you opened your mouth to speak but no words came out. "you dont have to say anything. ill leave you and your boyfriend alone." he stood, throwing the papers away. "im moving back to Germany." he said, looking down at you. and you couldnt lie, your chest felt like it was tightening. tears began to pool but you looked down.
" I leave in three days. I just.. wanted to say goodbye. I guess. I know you hate me, I know you want me to leave. and I love you enough to do anything that will make you happy. if you-"
your hands wrapped around his shirt collar and you pulled him down, slamming your lips to his. his large hands slammed against the sides of you, holding himself up. he immediately kissed back, moaning into the kiss. thats when the tears fell.
"please..please dont leave.." you whispered, pulling away. you looked up at him, looking for anything that said "I won't".. but his lips formed a small smile, his hand meeting your cheek. "your happier without me.. you know you are." "I dont c-care. I cant ha-have you not here. please"
the tears kept falling and he caught each one, flicking them from your face. " oh meine liebe.." he whispered, pulling you into a hug.
✧・゚: ✧・゚:
2 years had passed. you were pregnant. again. getting married in a few months too. you were excited because you felt like you were happy, for real this time. you stayed in New York, working at a new school more uptown. it was great, you were happy now.
" okay chicken orrr steak?" you asked your fiancé, rubbing your baby bump as you stared into the fridge. your soon to be husband came behind you, kissing your neck and putting his hand on top of yours. "chicken. we can make Alfredo." he said. nodding, you grabbed the meat, putting it in the sink to defrost.
" ill go run you a bath and we can get ready to go to the bakery. im excited to taste all the new cakes." he said, taking your hand and kissing each knuckle. " me too. especially the Oreo one. pleaseee at least try it. for me." you pouted. "your gonna say no to your pregnant fiancé?" you smirked, pointing to your belly.
you were due exactly 3 months after your wedding. so you both decided now was the perfect time to get married before you both had no time. "I guess I cant huh." he laughed, opening the bedroom door. you sat at the edge, watching his tall stature move to the shared bathroom.
as you watched him from your bed you smiled, thinking of all you both had been through. maybe it was the hormones, but you felt the tears well in your eyes. and it didnt go unnoticed either. " meine liebe? whats wrong?" he asked horridly, rushing over and wiping the tears from your eyes. you smiled and shook your head, placing a high kiss on his cheek.
"I just love you a lot. thats all." you whispered. he smiled, lifting you bridal style before kissing you passionately back. " Ich liebe dich mehr, meine liebe."
| tried to be cool and only highlight when y'all knew he was speaking at the end hehehe anyways guys this is like.. the end! if you guys would want one where the outcome is different and she stays with her current boyfriend lmkk cause I can do that too. but yea like I said thank you all so much for the love on this mini series <333 |
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lizzie-is-here · 11 months
Text
lonely is a man without love
part v- the boat
“we are all like the bright moon, we still have our darker side” - kahlil gibran
summary: the weirdest boat you’ve ever been on.
wordcount: 3.8k
warnings: language, death, violence, abuse, red room, more episode five to come
a/n: hiii, i’m slowly getting back into my groove lmao. got the results back on my finals and scraped by in math, saw taylor in the pouring rain, ya know, normal things. thank y’all sm for being patient w these uploads. as always, hope you enjoy, love you all 🫶🫶🫶
taglist: @thefictionalgemini @ravenz-hope @undiscl0sed-d3sir3s @iateall-yourcookies @disregardedplant @sunflowers-4 @yellowumbrelllaaaa @bagsy-not-it @local-mr-frog @thescarletredwitch @jupitersmoon167 @creamecafe @stevenknightmarc @theluciansystem @kingtwhiddleston @spider-biter @mxltifxnd0m @sgt-morgan @no-dont-be-suspicious @onzayhe @namorslit @i-cant-write-for-shit @vainillasmil157 @doublevirgogirl @boofy1998
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Now, you’ve grave robbed before. The Red Room had some dirty work, literally and figuratively.
However, you’ve never grave robbed an Egyptian pharaoh’s tomb. Especially not with a man who’s kind of two men who are the avatar of an Egyptian god.
You’ve done worse.
Like shoving your hand down a mummy’s throat because Steven didn’t want to.
“Be gentle!” Steven yelps as you dig around the dead man.
You scoff. “What is he going to do, bite my arm? The integrity of the enamel is pretty shot now, I think I’ll be fine.”
Finally, your hand touches stone. Yanking it free, you victoriously present the ushabti to Steven.
He cheers as you both jump in excitement, passing the ushabti between you both to examine it. Your heart is pounding, both out of excitement and how close you are to Steven.
It turns out to be even closer than you thought when you look up, and almost bump heads with him.
For a moment, you just take in his gaze. How gently his eyes meet yours, deep and dark and entrancing all the same.
“We may have to fight our way out of here,” you cough, refocusing.
Steven shakes his head. “No, no. We can just sneak out a back entrance and-“
“Steven.” You rest a hand on his. “They have a way to track us if we have the ushabti. There are guards crawling all over this place. It’s going to get messy.”
In his head, Marc agrees.
‘It’s gonna be a fight Steven, she’s right.’
“No, no, not everything is a fight.” He’s not sure if he’s talking to Marc or you. “There’s more solutions than- than killing people.” You can’t disguise the way that his words sting.
A loud rumbling of footsteps echoes down the hallway.
You raise an eyebrow. “Are you sure about that?”
‘Give me the body, Steven!’
In an instant, the mild-mannered Brit is gone, and Marc is readjusting to having control again.
“This is bad,” he whispers, as the footsteps grow louder.
You chuckle. “Yeah, no shit.”
Watching you ready your weapons and aim at the entrance, noticing the way your breath trembles, Marc makes a split-second decision.
“You should run.”
“What?” You balk, never taking your eyes off the tunnel before you. “I’m not leaving you.”
“This is my mess, you don’t need to get hurt for me.”
“Too bad.”
The room is flooded with Harrow’s devotees as you finish your sentence. Dozens of guns, all trained on the two of you. You don’t waver, staring down the barrel of your own gun with a finger resting on the trigger.
“I remember the first morning I woke up knowing Khonshu was gone,” Harrow says, stepping up towards Marc. He doesn’t even act phased by the weapon pointed at his head.
“The quiet was liberating.”
It sounds hauntingly like the chemical-induced control in the Red Room. Voices in your head that aren’t your own.
“You’re a free man.”
Logically, you know that Harrow is speaking to Marc. And yet…
“And, of course, with that freedom, comes choice. And right now, you have a very important decision to make.”
Marc sighs. “Okay.”
He’s not one to give up. That much has been made clear in the time you’ve known him. You don’t have to look at him to know he’s planning something.
The moment he strikes, so do you, shooting down as many men as you can. It’s a whirlwind, Marc with a stolen weapon from the sarcophagus and you with anything you can get your hands on.
Of course, cornering a wanted mercenary and a Black Widow in a small space is a recipe for violence.
Harrow knows this.
You’ve heard a lot of gunshots in your life, even felt a good dozen or so. The scars littered across your body tell that story without uttering a single word.
So you know when you’ve been hit.
And you know that this one is bad. Really bad.
A shot to your stomach, then two more to your chest. You can feel your clavicle shatter and ribs crack, but you can’t hear yourself scream. Maybe you don’t even make a sound.
The pain is blinding and absent all at once, and the only thing besides the ringing in your ears is Marc’s panicked movements as he catches you before you fall.
“Hey, hey, hold on. You’re okay, I’ve gotcha.” His words are muffled, but you swear you feel him press a kiss to your forehead. Not such a bad way to go.
He’s cussing, holding you close and shielding you from the onslaught of bullets when he takes two shots to the back.
That’s all it takes.
He topples into the pool of water with you still cradled in his arms, and the darkness only gives you relief.
You don’t let yourself think about Sam, Bucky, and Steve. Or Tony and Peter. Not even Nat and Yelena.
About how the Avengers will hunt this man down. About how they’ll find your body in the water.
Will the world mourn a killer?
Well, the only “world” to you right now is the dark water you’re sinking in and the man holding you tight, so you suppose it doesn’t matter all that much.
———————————————————————
You open your eyes to a hell you never thought you’d return to.
A large, open room, cold and dreary. A woman looms in the corner and about twenty or so little girls look up at you expectantly.
When you turn to the wall covered in one large mirror, you’re met with something else.
A ballerina. White platter tutu bejeweled with gems, worn pointe shoes, your hair tightly pulled back.
The woman snaps her fingers. You instantly jump into the motions you thought you had forgotten, executing a routine with a kind of poised grace that would only ever come with the Red Room’s brutal training.
Finishing with a bow, not even breaking a sweat, you are dismissed, and the world seems to shift.
Now, the room you’re in is bathed in red light. When you look down, you’re in a Black Widow uniform.
You’re not too alarmed by this. No, what scares you is what you know lies in front of you. The bodies on the floor.
The sirens in the halls.
The man in the room, examining your technique.
There’s a fog in your head that you know all too well.
“The chemical seems to be working,” a familiar woman says. Her hair is done up in more braids than you can count. “It wasn’t even this successful on my pigs.”
“I don’t give a shit about your pigs,” the man growls. “I just can’t have another Widow escaping.”
You blink, and they’re gone. The room is white and the haze in your mind is receding. You’re still in the uniform, but you don’t mind that as much.
Wandering the bright hallways, you find yourself in a hospital. The lights seem to sway, and your balance is faultier than usual. Must be a side effect of the flashbacks.
Voices are echoing down the hallway, and you can’t help but feel that they sound… familiar.
“But Marc, Marc-“
“The hospital! That’s the imagination.”
Why would their voices be separate? They continue arguing as you turn the corner, just as Marc turns around.
His breath catches in his throat, as if he’s seeing, well, a ghost.
“Oh, c’mon,” he sighs. “That’s just cruel.” Marc walks forward, still not really believing in this whole “afterlife” deal or that you’re here.
Because that would mean you’re dead.
“Where are we?” you ask, hurrying around the corner only to see… uh, a hippo, and maybe more concerning, Steven.
You mutter under your breath in Russian, only stopping when Steven puts a hand on your shoulder.
“Uh, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but-“
“We’re dead,” Marc finishes, groaning audibly. There’s no way around it. “Harrow, he- he shot you, and then…”
He blinks away the image of you, bloodied in his arms.
“Wait, if this really is the afterlife-” Marc says, approaching a door. “Then what’s on the other side-“
He flings the double doors open, revealing that the swaying of the building wasn’t a hallucination.
You’re on a boat. In the middle of a fucking desert. And you’re also apparently dead.
“Oh, what the shit,” you gasp. “Where the hell are we?”
Steven follows behind you. “It’s the underworld.”
You still don’t understand how the two are separate, even as Marc laughs and pats his alter on the shoulder. “I’m not crazy,” he sighs in relief. “I’m dead.”
“Where are we going?” you ask, watching as the boat coasts over dunes.
“We’re sailing to A’aru. To the Field of Reeds, right, Taweret?”
The hippo, apparently Taweret, nods. “Ah, so he’s the smart one, eh? Well, if your heart’s balanced in life, then you will spend eternity in paradise. The Field of Reeds!”
She coughs before reaching out her hands toward Marc and Steven. “But before we get there, I’ve just got to do a little…”
Her hands pass through their bodies like air, and when she pulls them back, in her hands are two, identical, white hearts.
“Oh, goody! It worked! Look at that! Here was little old me worrying I’d blow your chests wide open.” You wince, before stepping forward.
“I guess you have to do that to me?” you ask, hating the answer.
She nods, and just as gently removes your heart, cradling the three.
“You’re more of a standard case, really, no offense to you boys. We’ll weigh yours first.”
“What’s happening?” you whisper to Steven.
“She’s going to weigh your heart on the Scales of Justice against the Feather of Truth. The ancient Egyptians believed that the heart was the sign of who you really were in life.”
The space in your chest feels cold now.
“If the Scales balance by the time you end the journey, then your soul is permitted to pass into the Field of Reeds.”
You feel a chill run down your spine. “And if it doesn’t balance?”
“You get thrown overboard,” Taweret politely informs. “Whoo! The dead will drag you down into the Duat, where you will remain forever, frozen in sand.”
Wonderful.
You watch as she sets your heart on the scales, waiting for it to almost fall over from your heart’s weight.
But it doesn’t.
It sits rather politely, perfectly equal to the feather.
“I think your scale is broken,” you mumble. “I’ve done a lot of, um, less-than-balanced things in my life.”
The hippo shakes her head kindly. “No, the Scales aren’t wrong. However, your heart does feel heavier than most. Perhaps there’s something in the boat to help lighten the load?”
Next, she sets down Marc and Steven’s hearts. They had been talking in hushed tones a few paces away, but Taweret’s voice brings them back.
The scales are rapidly shifting, never stilling on one side or the other.
“What’s it doing, why is it moving like that?” Steven asks.
The goddess shrugs. “I don’t know. I do not have a card for this.” She carefully removes the hearts.
“Oh. It’s the hearts. They aren’t… full.” She chuckles a bit. “And trust me, I’m a goblet-half-full kind of gal, but… It’s like they each feel incomplete.”
Marc crosses his arms. “What does that mean?”
“Without balanced scales, the Duat will eventually claim your soul.”
“So what do we do?” you ask.
“This boat contains all of a life’s memories,” Taweret says. “Now, I don’t know what you two have been hiding, but my advice, get in there and show each other the truth. Balance your scales before we arrive at the Field of Reeds, or your souls will be destroyed.”
You don’t hesitate, hurriedly opening the doors, and jogging down the hallways as Marc and Steven reluctantly follow.
Behind the doors, you see flashes from their lives, intertwined and blurry behind the glass.
Behind you, they argue, going back and forth at an increasing volume until they start peeking in doors.
A scream comes from further into the ship. It’s a little boy. You and Steven take off after it, but only you seem to notice how Marc hangs back.
The sound came from a cafeteria, apparently. And at each table, there are posed bodies. Some bloodied, some strangled.
“Just a creepy caff filled with dead bodies,” Steven jokes as his voice shakes. “That’s all it is. No prizes for guessing whose room this is.”
Marc studies the bodies, before he starts naming locations. You know exactly what he’s doing.
“You killed them,” you say. It’s not a question.
“Surely not all of them?” Steven asks.
Marc is still looking at the countless people. “They were criminals. Murderers. Predators. The worst of the worst. Khonshu wanted them punished. It’s what he meant by protecting the travelers of the night.”
A pang of guilt stabs through you. He was killing the guilty. You killed the innocent. In another life, you might have been one of the bodies in this room.
“Marc! Look, the Scales are slowing down. It’s working,” Steven says.
“Okay, all right. So now what? Do you go next?”
Movement catches your eye. The small boy who called out before. But unlike the others, he’s alive.
“Marc, who’s that?” You point to him. The man pales visibly.
“Wait, wait, don’t go near him!” Marc pleads as Steven rushes after the boy, who runs off as quickly as he appeared.
Chasing after them both, you only catch up after Steven has entered a memory, with Marc banging on the locked door.
You start looking for other entrances when you see it.
All of Marc and Steven’s doors are white. They match the hospital and are denoted with a small crescent moon on the door handle. This one is made of dark, heavy metal. And you’d recognize that red insignia anywhere.
This is your door.
You don’t even bother looking in it. You see your worst memories every night, so why would you want to watch them again?
Turning back to Marc, you ignore the door completely.
“Let’s look for another way in, yes?”
You both race down the halls, peering in each door for Steven. However, the further you go, the more of your doors appear.
Marc can only catch glimpses of what’s inside. Red lights, gunfire, sharp commands in Russian. And lots of screaming.
He’s trying to push the sounds from that cave out of his head, but all he can hear is water. So much water.
When he opens his eyes, you’re staring into one of his doors. With a tentative press on the handle, it swings open.
The scene is a funeral. There’s no mistaking that. Two parents sit together, and a picture of a young boy is surrounded by flowers.
It all pieces together.
“Your brother,” you whisper. “He died.”
Steven nods from the staircase, soaked in rain and the memories of what he just saw.
“I want my RoRo back,” the mother says, voice hoarse. “I want him back.”
Light steps on the stairs reveal a younger Marc, eyes wide and teary. And you know exactly how this is going to go. Not that it makes it easier to watch.
You close your eyes as she blames the child, screaming as the family tries to calm her down. The boy races back up the stairs, and Steven follows with Marc not far behind.
You’re stuck in place, breath heaving as the mother, Wendy, sobs uncontrollably. Then you blink.
And you’re back in hell.
———————————————————————
Steven and Marc chase each other through more scenes of Marc’s childhood, through birthdays, and arguments, and when he eventually left that hell of a home and never looked back.
But when he tackles Steven, they land in a memory that isn’t theirs.
They see a little girl holding a gun. It’s clearly too large for her hands, given the way that her middle finger rests on the trigger rather than her index finger, but she aims it steadily.
She’s aiming at a man tied to a chair, bag over his head. Steven and Marc barely have time to look away before she shoots.
She doesn’t miss. You never miss.
The girl hands off the gun to a trainer, who nods in approval. As people come to clean the room and dispose of the body, she exits, the two alters following.
They both know it’s you. Neither of them want to say it.
The next room they enter, the girl is a bit older, maybe preteen.
An angry man with glasses looms over her while a woman stands in the corner.
“You failed the Red Room. We’ve put all this effort into making you perfect, and you can’t even finish a mission!” His hand flies out, striking her as Marc’s vision blurs. The sight is all too familiar.
“You… will be punished for your little ‘slip up’. Then, you’ll go back and clean up your mess. No witnesses can be left alive.”
The girl speaks in a way that seems detached. Cold, analytical. “But the witnesses aren’t-“
Another blow lands.
“Don’t speak out of line.”
The woman finally pipes up, her voice cold. “I believe she should go through her graduation ceremony. It will provide… motivation for the next mission.”
Apparently, there’s more to the ceremony than Marc or Steven know, because the little girl’s eyes go wide, and she finally shows emotion.
“No! No, please don’t make me! I’ll never fail you again, Dreykov, just don’t make me-“
He waves a hand. “Take her to the medical wing.”
The scream that the child in front of them lets out is guttural, and she pleads as she’s dragged fighting all the way to the door.
For a moment, she breaks from their grasp and falls begging at the man’s feet. It’s all breathless words and choked breaths.
Dreykov doesn’t even bat an eye. Not when the girl starts sobbing, not when the guards grab her again.
“We shouldn’t be watching this,” Steven says. “These aren’t our memories.”
Marc shakes his head, opening the next door. “We have to find (Y/N), and she’s probably in one of these.”
It reveals another hallway, but not one from the ship. A closed door beside them is marked as having a surgery in process. A hysterectomy. And from the sounds inside, you were both awake and without any form of sedative.
“No…” Steven says. Trying to block out the screaming and crying he can hear, muffled by the heavy door. “They didn’t…”
Marc nods. “I did some research on the Red Room a while back. They would… sterilize the agents for max efficiency.”
“Marc, we need to leave!” the British man exclaims. “These are very personal, traumatic memories that we’re sifting through, we don’t have the right to do this. You didn’t even want me seeing yours, and now you’re okay with looking at (Y/N)’s?”
The other man sighs. “How do we know she’s not digging around ours right now?” The two head for the next door, flinging it open. “For all we know, she’s watching what I didn’t want you to see right now-“
They stop in their tracks for two reasons.
Firstly, there’s a past version of you in the middle of the room, panting heavily. On the ground are 19 dead bodies. All young girls. You’re covered in blood.
Secondly, you’re here. Not just past you, but actual you. You’re perfectly still, watching the scene with an unreadable look on your face.
“(Y/N)?, what is this?”
You whip around at the sound of Steven’s voice. Only then, in the dim red lighting, do they see the tear tracks running down your face. You wipe them away.
“I got lost,” you whisper, voice soft. Your eyes keep flitting back to the bodies littering the floor.
You swallow down the lump in your throat. “I was with you guys, then I blinked, and-“ A silent sob tears its way out of your chest. “-and I was here again.”
Marc and Steven can’t help the way their chests ache at your voice. Not confident or even sarcastic. Just scared.
The former surveys the memory frozen in time. The same man from the earlier memory, Dreykov, stands with another woman.
“What happened here?” he asks, attempting to get your eyes off of the floor.
You wipe your eyes again. “That man, Dreykov. He’s the head of the Red Room. And Melina-“ You point to the woman next to him. “That’s Natasha and Yelena’s mom.”
“After Natasha escaped, they started working on a chemical that would allow Dreykov to control every aspect of his Widows. My group was the first successful run.”
Steven keeps his eyes averted from the bodies. “So why are they all dead?”
“Girls are sorted into groups of twenty when they’re trained to be Widows. Only one survives.”
You stare down at the bodies of your friends, almost your sisters, battered and bloody at your hands.
“I killed them all. I didn’t even hesitate. It was me or them, and I-“ Before you can start spiraling again, you are suddenly wrapped up in two sets of arms.
Letting yourself relax into the group hug, you exhale a heavy breath. Being completely enveloped also has the added bonus of hiding the scenery around you.
“It wasn’t-“
You cut Steven off. “Don’t tell me that it wasn’t me. It doesn’t change the fact that I did it.”
His voice is muffled in your hair. “That’s not what I was gonna say.” It was definitely what he was gonna say, but he quickly changes his plan. “But this, you’ve already lived through all of this. You’ve grown, and now you’re an Avenger. Hell, you charged right in to help us and now you’re dead too.”
“Speaking of which-“ Marc pipes up. “You don’t seem very concerned about being dead.
As they guide you out of the room and back into the ship's hallway, you sigh in relief. Your shoulders visibly relax, and the darkness clouding your eyes relents the tiniest bit.
You offer a smile that’s still a little sad, but a smile nonetheless.
“Oh, please. One of my best friends is a multiversal being that can rewrite reality on a whim. I wasn’t that worried about being dead for a little while,” you joke.
The three of you walk down the hallway until a door that isn’t yours appears. It shows the desert at night, with a similar body count to yours sprawled in the sand.
But there’s another figure. Marc. Dragging himself toward a temple. A thick trail of blood coats the sand.
“Oh, great,” Steven quips. “More dead people.”
Marc’s eyes don’t leave where he’s crawling on the ground. The amount of blood loss is astonishing, really.
“Taweret said you have to tell each other the truth, right?” you ask. “This is part of that.”
Marc steels his nerves before sharply nodding. They just saw some of your worst memories; it only feels right to reveal some of his own.
With a shaky hand, he opens the door.
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tkstrandr · 2 years
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okay so i saw a take on tiktok i'm pretty sure but idk the creator if u know what post i'm talkin abt lemme know lmao.
so the take was basically saying how the ace representation on heartbreak high wasnt great bc they never even actually said the word "asexual" or "ace" (there was definitely more to the post but i dont remember it, this is just the part i wanted to talk abt anyways)
so what i wanted to say abt that is that thats not true at all. in my very asexual opinion the representation is amazing !! the best i've personally ever seen !! (ik theres supposedly rlly good representation in bojack among others but i havent watched much else so)
how i like to view it is at the start of the series cash is in like the middle of his journey of discovering his asexuality, like he knows he doesnt enjoy sex and doesnt feel sexual attraction to anyone but hes still very insecure abt it and confused as to what that means for him, which is why he didnt tell darren. and by the end of the season hes practially figured it out, hes become a little more confident in his asexual identity which is evident by him being able to explain it well to darren, which shows hes probably rehearsed that conversation over and over in his mind, but still hasnt put a label on himself because hes still insecure in that identity and he probably feels like the only one in the world who feels like that. the other characters dont seem to know abt it all either so that probably makes him feel even more insecure and alone abt it.
which is why the word "asexual" or "ace" hasnt been said yet, because hes not there in his journey. but i feel we will definitely get that next season !! (if we get one 🤞🤞) next season i feel will dive even deeper into what a relationship between darren (a very sexual person learning to be in a relationship without sex or not a purely sexual relationship, which is not what they're used to at all) and cash (who still hasnt fully figured out this part of himself yet) and we'll most likely get him confirming he's asexual using the label on screen !!!!!
anyways thats my take on this aspect of the show, please watch heartbreak high !!!! the queer, neurodivergent and aboriginal respresentation is pretty much flawless imo !! (idk as much abt the aboriginal rep as i am irish and white but i've seen the actors who play malakai n missy saying its pretty accurate n i've seen aboriginal ppl online saying its good n it seems rlly good to me so !!) its also rlly funny and dives well into important topics !!!
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wassupmygays · 4 months
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ummm hello I would like way more about hunger games au pls I'll take anything wheres Jimmy where's Tango wheres Scar from I will take whatever you give me I will go feral over this thank you
!!!! ok first off i just wanna say u made my day with this ask im so excited that other people r excited abt this and want to hear my explosions (also i definitely want to make individual profile posts for each tribute so this will be. sparknotes of what i have thought up so far :D) Tango - i have tango in district 3, along with mumbo. district 3 is the technology district, and with mumbos redstone contraptions and tango's decked out programming, it felt very obvious placements to me :] i dont think they were very close at all before the games. not in a bad way, just they didn't cross eachothers paths all that much (subject to change but in life series canon theyre never on the same team iirc). theyre cordial in the proceedings before the games but dont train together or plan to team up. tango, skizz, and bigb eventually ally together during the training days before the games! (aka heart foundation) Jimmy - jimmy and scar are actually from the same district, district 11! 11 is the agriculture district, and to place jimmy in this district i pulled from his ranchers and empires sheriff vibes if that makes sense. i also just know that 11 is one of the poorest districts and doesn't usually do well in the games, and we all know jimmy in these games. (i considered jimmy in 12 bc of the canary thing, but skizz and impulse r from there and i figured putting him somewhere else is fun too!) scar - as said above, scar is from district 11! i don't think he is expected to do super well in the games from the reaping, but during interviews its clear that he has the charisma to get some sponsors. i honestly haven't thought up all that much for scar yet but dw i will (he literally wins. how could i ignore him) fun fact! scar and jimmy were going to kind of team together, but during the first day of training, scott (career tribute) makes some joke to gem about how they wouldnt stand a chance if they teamed together bc of their district. jimmy let this get in his head and decided to split from scar, causing both of them to be loners at the start of the games. jimmy eventually finds martyn during the games and they ally bc of reasons (that i can get into if we want to), but scar stays relatively alone honestly most of these tributes and their district placements are pretty set in my mind, except for martyn, cleo, and bigb, who i still can't figure out where to put (if anyone has suggestions pls send them lmao). ive got some bits and plot points from the series already worked out into a hunger games universe, but a lot of it i dont! if theres any specific part of the series anyone wants to ask about, please do!! i work best when someone tells me what to brainstorm on lmao. anyways lol hope yall r liking this! i dont have any clue if it will gain any traction, but i've been thinking abt this au so much since the finale and i wanted to try and share it and talk about it with people :D pls send comments or asks abt any of it if you want to !!!
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teddy-bear-queen · 1 year
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Starscream deserved better.
The more and more transformer media I consume the more angry I get at the treatment of Starscream. He’s just desperately trying to survive.
OH YEAH BUT MEGATRON, THE ABSOLUTE ASSHAT?? The ABUSER?? He gets a redemption arc!!! Literally fuck OFF.
‘The decepticons are no more bc I now know what it’s like to be oppressed :(’ fuck off. The reason you are the way you are is because you liked the power. He already knew what it was like to be oppressed, because that was THE WHOLE FUCKING PREMISE OF THE WAR!
I haven’t finished the series but I’ve seen enough from previous iterations to know that this bullshit is going to drive me insane. Here’s an idea: stop giving abusers redemption arcs because you think they’re hot. How about we give redemption arcs to the victims (starscream) instead. OR JUST KEEP THEM BOTH EVIL! IDFC! BUT DONT MAKE IT SEEM LIKE STARSCREAM CANT BE REDEEMED AND MEGATRON CAN. Blatant victim blaming.
EDIT:
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Fuck you megatron simpers, if you were a decepticon and real etc. he’d fucking abuse you beyond the point of breaking. He’s an abuser. Deal with it.
I didn’t mean to come off so aggressive in this part, I apologise for that. Here I further explain what I mean. Please read the whole thing.
EDIT 2:
Just because I feel the need to say this: Im not excusing starscream or apologising him. He’s an asshole in every sense of the word, and he’s had his fair share of… shall we say “bad deeds”. He’s toxic. I’m not excusing that (it’s actually another reason I like him, the way he behaves and his personality intrigue me!). I actually also like Megatron in that way. He’s a character I love to hate sort of deal. And some people just love him! That’s also okay! What isn’t okay is the romanticisation and fetishisation of abuse. Don’t excuse either of these characters toxic behaviours just because he’s hot lmao.
My issue with it is that Megatron, who has done so much worse, got redeemed whereas Starscream is continually demonised or straight-up killed. It just makes no sense to me how Starscream, who continually throughout many iterations seems to have the most potential for redemption, is demonised. (if people want I could write an analysis on starscream to further explain because it would be fun).
Either redeem Starscream AND Megatron, or just Starscream.
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