#i don't usually censor names but i did this time because i don't want the fandom finding me and burning me at the stake | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sports-on-sundays · 6 months

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people change / CL16 / Part 1

Summary: dad!Charles x French!ex!reader - You wish you could just forget about the relationship. It's hard when you had a son together.

Warnings: 'Y/s/n' means 'your son's name', you are free to imagine the son as whatever age he acts because I leave that unspecified, mention of breaking up/divorce, broken family, censored cussing, getting drunk, toxic relationship, me sucking at writing kids (how do they even act???)

Requested?: No.

Author's Note: This was heavily inspired by the song People Change by for KING & COUNTRY at the end there especially. I listened to it while writing. So you're free to look that up and have a listen. Link to part 2 / Link to part 3

"Hey, sweetie," you say as you buckle your son into the car. "How was your day at school?"

"Fun... But Mama, I didn't know what to do."

"Hm? When didn't you know what to, love?" you ask, concerned.

"Well, we did papers and pictures about our mommies and daddies and our houses and stuff and I didn't know, Mama..."

You stop after he says this, pulling your hands away as they tremble. Your heart, at those words from your son, feels like it's being wrenched out of your chest, and you cough into your arm. "O- Oh, sweetheart..." you clear your throat. "Well, why don't you first draw pictures and write about me and my house, and then you write and draw about your daddy and his house..."

Your son does a pouting face at this. "Mama..." he complains. "Why can't you and Daddy be like other kids' mommies and daddies?"

"Love, I don't think this is the time to be talking about this. Let's just get driving home now." You hate to shut him down, but he's asking too many questions that you just can't answer.

He's asking too many questions that are making you feel too confused and guilty.

"Hey, buddy. What's up?" you smile as you get out of the car to help your son pack his bags into the trunk, and then get in the backseat. You're doing this right outside Charles' house. You're picking him up from his weekend with his dad.

The little boy shrugs as you buckle him in. "I want my grey bag, Mama! Daddy gave me some food for the ride."

"What do you say?"

"Please!" he pouts.

You nod, and give him his bag. Charles is always sure to equip Y/s/n with a bagful of healthy snacks for the hour and forty-five minute drive back home.

The whole ride, Y/s/n is unusually quiet. Even when you try talking to him, he gives short answers and makes no effort to continue the conversation. Which is very unusual from the usually frisky and excitable little boy.

When you get home and go inside, he immediately goes to his room, still not saying anything.

You sigh, feeling worried.

Did...

Did Charles do something?

Even though the two of you separated for big reasons, you've never felt too worried about Y/s/n going to see him every other weekend, except for maybe at the beginning. Over the years, you're pretty sure that Charles has gotten more responsible than how he once was.

"Dinnertime, love!"

Silence.

"Love?"

"I'm not hungry!"

You sigh, the worry sinking deeper. "You should have saved some of your dad's snack for later, then! I made dinner for you!"

Silence. Again.

You walk down the hall and knock on his bedroom door, before gently pushing it open. The little boy is sitting on his red bed. In his hand is his Ferrari hat. He's blankly staring at it.

Oh God no. What did Charles do? What did Charles say? Doesn't he understand the unspoken boundaries about this?

"Y/s/n?" you say gently, sitting down next to him. "What's wrong, sweetie? You know you can tell me. I'm listening."

The boy looks older than he is right now. You feel a sharp pang in your chest as he murmurs, "Why do you and daddy live in different countries? How come I have two houses, two bedrooms... two everything? How come, Mama?"

It takes all you have to not tear up. You wrap your arms tightly around him at this. He leans against you, hugging you back.

"Andre and Alex have a mommy and daddy who live in the same house. How come you and Daddy don't?"

"Y/s/n, it's really complicated, love. But, can I ask... What has got you thinking of all of this, love? What has got this on your mind?" You speak in a very gentle tone, rubbing his back. Obviously, this is upsetting him. Really, though, what kid wouldn't be upset?

Your son looks at you in hesitation. "I'm not allowed to say..."

You feel another pang of worry. "Love, it's okay. You can tell your mama anything."

"But Daddy told me not to."

You swallow nervously. "You're not doing anything wrong by telling me. I'm giving you permission. I can't have you feeling this upset, love. You can tell me anything that's bothering you, even if your father told you not to." Y/s/n is too much of a good kid. You don't know where he gets it from.

You wipe your son's watering eyes, trying to reassure him. He sniffs, before saying, "You won't tell Daddy?"

"Tell Daddy what?"

"What I'm gonna tell you."

You bite your lip. "Of course not, love. I won't tell your daddy."

He nods, before saying, as he starts to really cry, "Daddy cried, Mommy... I wasn't allowed to know but I couldn't sleep because Daddy forgot to read me my story. So I was going in to tell him to snuggle me... because I couldn't sleep. But Daddy was crying..." Y/s/n sniffs, and continues blubbering, "Daddy was talking to someone on the phone and he was really sad... I don't know why Daddy was crying, Mama. He said he was sad because he missed you and me to the person on the phone. Daddy was so sad so I don't know why we don't make Daddy happy and why can't my mommy and daddy be like my friends' mommies and daddies?" He lets out a sob, snuggling into you. You're speechless as your son continues, "I went and gave Daddy a hug because he was sad. He said he missed you. He asked me why I was up and said I was in trouble and said I wasn't allowed to tell you he was sad and crying. He said even daddies cry sometimes," he sniffs and lets out another sob. You hold him tight, eyes wide. "I asked him how come he was sad and he said he didn't know and he loved me and then we went to bed. I don't get it, Mama."

You try not to tremble.

Fighting off tears, because the last thing Y/s/n needs is to see his mom cry on top of it all. Not sad tears, though. Angry tears.

Why can't Charles just let go? He's so possessive and obsessive. F*ck him and his Monaco flat and his boat and his Ferrari and everything f*cking else. Why would he let his son see him so vulnerable. Doesn't he care? F*ck him.

Why can't he just let go?

You walk down the hall of the mall, your son's little hand in yours, heading to the food court because eventually, Y/s/n's complaining about how 'I'm hungryyyyy!' got too annoying, and you gave in.

Suddenly, though, his little hand slips out of yours. You look down at him in confusion, starting to say his name. He starts running away. You're about to go after him, but suddenly freeze when the little boy shouts, "Look, Mama, look! It's Daddy! Daddy! Hi, Daddy! Hiiiii!"

And sure enough, Charles Leclerc stops as soon as he sees his son, a grin spreading across his face. He adjusted his cap to be lower on his forehead, clearly trying to go incognito here. But he bends down, and the moment little Y/s/n reaches Charles, his father scoops him up into his arms, standing up with an, "Auwgh," noise, as if it were really hard for the strong man to pick up his light son. Charles holds him tight, in an embrace, before saying, "What's up, buddy? Where's your mama?" Y/s/n points, and Charles looks up.

Your eyes meet. And everything stops. The voices, the music, the whir of the escalators, the lights, heating, and air conditioning all making their own sounds, the people walking past- everyone else living their own lives disappear.

And it's just you and Charles, eyes locked, staring at each other.

Heartbeats or seconds or minutes, you don't know. You feel a certain electricity that hurts. Shocks you. Maybe Charles likes how it feels though. Maybe he loves that, with his adrenaline seeking lifestyle. Because, after all, he doesn't look away.

But in the same way, you don't either.

Finally, it's your son that breaks the trance you seemed to go into with your ex-husband, by saying suddenly words that stress you out and tear you apart at the same time: "See, Daddy?" He pats his father's cheek, which has a little bit of facial hair. "You don't have to cry anymore... You don't..." Suddenly, he looks a little scared, realizing he wasn't supposed to say that, but finishes softly with, "You don't have to miss Mama anymore, Daddy, because she's right here..."

There's almost a pleading in your son's eyes. A longing. You feel yourself start to tear up, but you strive to hold them back. Y/s/n. He loves us. He loves his parents so much. He just wishes they would love each other.

Charles shakes his head in surprise, stroking Y/s/n's hair, "Buddy, it's okay. Don't worry. I'm okay. I don't-" he falters for just a moment before finishing quickly, glancing to you nervously, "I don't miss Mama anymore. Don't worry."

"But I miss Mama." At this, both of you look at your son in confusion.

"But Y/s/n, Mama is right here," Charles says carefully, taking more steps closer to you. "See? Do you want to go with M-"

"No!" your son suddenly snaps, and says as if it is the most obviously thing on earth, "When I'm with Daddy, I miss Mama. When I'm with Mama, I miss Daddy. I don't wanna miss you guys!"

All the sudden, it's too much for you. All of it. Before Charles can do anything else you say quickly, your voice obviously cracking and your breath shaky, "Charles, can you take him home today? I'm sorry-"

"Of course, Y/n. I-"

You turns, jogging away. You need to get out of there.

But as you run out, you hear Charles call after you, "Y/n! Y/n, wait! Y/n, we're going to talk on the phone tonight, okay? There's things we still need to go over!"

At around 3:00 A.M., Charles calls. While you're worried to answer, you're also relieved. The fact that you're still awake at 3:00 A.M. shows how much anxiety you've been feeling about getting this call from Charles.

When you pick up, you murmur softly, "Hey, Charles."

"Sorry I'm calling at this hour. God. I just had to make sure Y/s/n was sound asleep. I'm, uhm," he pauses to clear his throat awkwardly, and continues in a softer, more delicate voice, "I'm sure Y/s/n told you about the phone call the other weekend..."

"Y- Yeah, he did. What did you do? Did you scare him into not telling me? He was crying," you say, your voice becoming harder and harder as you speak.

"What?! No! I just asked him please not to tell you. That was it. Maybe he was crying because..." Charles trails off.

"Because why?" you snap, although the sinking feeling within tells you exactly why.

"Y/n..." he sighs loudly. "Because our son loves us and doesn't get why... w- we... don't- don't, uhm.... love each other." The facts that he falters so much on that last phrase, that it's so hard for him to get out, sends a pit in your stomach. Of dread, and anger.

And without another hesitation, you just say it. "Charles... you still love me, don't you?"

There's silence over the phone. Sickly, disgusting, terrible silence. The anger rises up in you higher and higher, like a pressure, trying to push you on your tipping point. So finally you snap, probably way too loud, "Charles, what the hell! F*ck you. I hate you, you f*cking asshole. You're too much of a f*cking coward to even say it! Just like you've always been!" Your voice gets louder and louder. "Just like you've always been! Too much of a f*cking coward to admit anything! You tricked me! You had me thinking everything was peaches and cream, but it wasn't! You were being a terrible person and played innocent, and whenever I asked you anything, you did the same exact thing you still do. You just keep silent. Charles, I know you'll never grow, I hate that my son has to see your sorry ass every other weekend, and if I knew it wouldn't break his sweet little heart, I would wish your pathetic silent self would just fall off the face of the earth so I didn't have to ever have to listen to your stupid, pathetic silence ever again."

"Y/n, I-" You hang up. Charles doesn't try to call back.

Years ago.

Charles came in and stumbled into your arms, as if you were the one that needed to take care of him. You were tired, having stayed up with your fussy baby boy nearly all night, with no help, and you wanted to cry. You didn't want Charles to stumble in, drunk, right into your arms, as if he was the one who needed help. No. He was the one causing the problem. He had reeked of alcohol. He didn't get drunk this often, and you knew exactly why he was doing it now, although he'd been too scared while sober to admit it to you. It was the argument you'd had, and his way of coping was going out, getting drunk, and coming home to his wife and baby at three in the morning, wasted. Now, while drunk out of his mind, he was able to murmur, his words slurred tremendously, "Y/n... I'm sorry, love... You should've come with me tonight. I had fun... We could... make up for that argument..." He had a sickly seductive tone in his voice.

You felt rage fill up in you. Did you forget about your son? The son that you and I created together? Did you forget about that? Instead of letting any of that rage escape you, you just brought him to the bedroom and helped him into bed. You left him, walked to the living room, sat down on the couch, and held your aching, tired head, pulling at your hair, as tears escaped your closed eyelids.

Your world was spinning. Everything was wrong.

The argument. You had started it. And yelled at him. About how he was a coward and never told the truth. Even though you loved him. You thought. You must've. You... You had a son together. You yelled at him for telling you he was working when he wasn't. You yelled at him that he wasn't helping you at all and that you were going out of your mind. You said you felt like a single mom because he was never around, never helped, and never tried to. He lied and told you that an event he had mentioned that you were excited for was cancelled because he had found out more things about the event that he didn't want to deal with himself. He was becoming more and more selfish, showing who he really was more and more every single day. It just made you think- what is he doing when he gets drunk? What else is he being dishonest about?

Eventually you stopped loving him. You loved your son much more, so you broke it off. The final tipping point was when you suspected he had cheated, although nothing had ever proved that. But that was when you finally broke it off.

He was heartbroken. He held onto you. No, Y/n, please don't do this. I'll try better. I'll try better. You had told him that he had been saying he'd try better for the past year.

He had cried. Maybe even sobbed. You only saw him sob twice. Once was one time when he was drunk out of his mind, and the other one was that night when you told him you were breaking it off. I guess Y/s/n has seen him sob a third time, though.

He had said to you that he still loved you. You had said if you loved me, you wouldn't have done this. And that was the end of it.

Or so you thought.

You can't believe you're here. You can't believe he convinced you. You set up for your mother to watch Y/s/n while you drive into Monaco and.

Well, yeah. Go to Charles' God-forsaken house. To meet with him. 'Have a talk' as he put it. 'In real life.' So he can 'see your face and expressions.' And 'understand better.'

Charles opens the door. He's wearing a black t-shirt, grey jeans, and has his usual assortment of different bracelets on his wrists. And a disgustingly expensive watch. As you walk into his (beautiful) flat, you see that it hasn't changed much since you left and moved a couple hours closer to home, back in France. Just a little cleaner. But just like how it was when you lived here, there's still a stray toy on the floor here and there. As if reading your mind, he bends down, picking up a few of them, before putting them in a basket in the corner of the room. He runs his hand through his messy, wavy brown hair, looking a little awkward. "Why don't you sit down?" he asks softly, gesturing to the couch by a nod of his head. "Make yourself... comfortable... Uh... I made some cookies. Consider it a peace offering. And I... I really tried to make them good, too. I'm just going to go grab them." And before you can think or react, he's walking out of the room to grab them.

When he returns with the cookies, he sits down next to you, holding the little plate out to you. You hesitantly take one, nibbling off a little bite, nervously glancing to Charles. "It's fine..." you say. In your taste, too sweet (and slightly gooey) but besides that, alright. "But I just want to get this over with, okay? Charles can we just... have this talk? So I can go?"

Your ex husband stared down, before nodding slowly. "Yeah... Of course." He falters, before murmuring, "I love our son just as much as you do. And it hurts me to see him-"

"My God, Charles, shut up. I know what this is about. It's about you being selfish," the bitterness in your voice surprised even yourself, "You're being selfish because for some twisted reason, you still want to be with me, and you're using my son's pain as an excuse. You're just as you've always been- selfish, lying, and making excuses."

"Y/n, no it's not!" he snaps, his eyes pleading. "I- I- I want the best for our son."

"Charles, do you still love me?"

He stares at you. Hesitates. Falters. He inhales a shaky breath, before looking down at his hands in his lap. "All these years I've never dated another woman. All these years the guilt has crushed me."

"Shut up!" you spit. "It's not guilt, Charles, of hurting me your or son. It's guilt because you wouldn't wanted to be with me longer. It's selfish. You're f*cking selfish!"

He practically begs, "Please, babe, just listen-"

"What did you just call me?"

He stares in surprise at what he just said. He swallows. "I'm sorry- It- It just came out..."

You glare, and shout, "You still love me, you dick! I hate you! You- You cheated on me!"

He cuts you off by grabbing your arm suddenly. There's a desperate look in his eyes. "Y/n... No, I didn't... I swear it on my life.. On my job, on everything I love... I would..." You're shocked to watch as a singular tear gently rolls down one of his cheeks. He's holding back more. The salty, warm tear drops right onto your palm. You wipe it off. Charles eyes plead with you as he murmurs, his voice cracking, "I would never cheat on you..."

You stare, trying to form more words, not knowing what to say.

But Charles continues, "I don't know where you got the idea I cheated on you... I know it was hard and I was being..." Suddenly there is guilt and grief openly painted all across his face. "I was being a terrible person... Giving up the most lovely, sweet wife and baby I could've ever asked for... I was young and stupid, Y/n...Y/n... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I swear I mean it...

"I would do anything for this to work."

Another tear falls.

"Y/n... just listen... I need you to hear me out..."

He sniffs. He seems so broken. Vulnerable. Honest.

"It's all my fault, Y/n. I know. I know. I'm sorry. And I get if you're afraid... I would be, too... but, Y/n... I wish you could just understand that... that...

"Y/n, people change."

Author's Note- Just wanted to say if you guys liked this and want a part two, I'm totally open to writing that! Let me know if you want a part two, and if you have any ideas, shoot! Like should I end this happy? Or not...? And in what way? If no one gives me ideas, I'll just come up with it, but you guys are extremely welcome to let me know!!! Thank you! <3

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roadhogsbigbelly · 5 months

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ok i didn't really want to do this because i deleted the original posts when it had only 70 notes because i was under the assumption noone would see it but t/xttletale ended up reblogging it anyway and now i have people telling me to kill myself in my inbox so i guess i might as well give details

honestly did not know she was trans until people accused me of pedojacking her, for some reason it never registered because i guess i only see her blog when her posts pop up on my feed but you know my bad i guess

2)yes it's true the term "loliporn" never shows up but someone does say "don't say you're pro-kink and nasty gay sex if you're not supportive of ageplay, cnc, or incest shipping" and than she said "yes, and" which like. seems slightly like an endorsement? but i assume that loliporn was just kind of included with the package, because i do have evidence that toonimal would not be against that

3) i never directly called her a pedophile just that it's really fucking bizzare to have that hot take about "wholesome games" when you agreed with a take that said not liking incest porn or ageplay is "anti-kink or whatever

now did initially censor the names in the post because of reasons i'll explain later but i did realize with no context it looks like both posts were from the same person so i did end up mentioning in the tags that there were two different people before later deleting it all together. but i honestly don't feel THAT bad attributing it to her because she did both reblog the post and than also add on to it, which kind of negates the possibility she didn't fully read the post? still i did censor it again for reasons i'll explain later.

4) i kind of went out of my way to not attribute anything to her. when i talked about her weird stardew valley take i still censored them, because after being told to kill myself for having a lukewarm hot take on sex work last year i usually always censor posts when criticizng/making fun of them. i'm honestly surprised she managed to find it because i deleted it when it only had like 60 notes, and the only reason i found out she found it is because one of her followers sent be an ask telling me to kill myself. and out of curiousity i checked her blog.

i deleted this post before i post this just so her follower doesn't get harassed or whatever. but you know. not fun.

and 5) while i insist i didn't directly accuse her of being a pedophile i DID in fact accuse the person she was agreeing with of being a pedohpile. cause they are.

i'm not going to post the entire callout post cause it's honestly really fucking gross but tldr they run a "contact positive paraphilia forum" which is a basicly code for "actually fucking pedophiles" which kind of recontextualizes they entire post right? that's also why i went out of my way to censor txttletale's name and than later specify there were two different people before deleting it. because i assumed she didn't know the person she was agreeing with was an actual pedophile, but accidently agreeing with a pedophile is uh. not good. i think, someone actually informed her that toonimals was a pedophilia and she said this.

now i'm not saying you have to do a background check on every person you reblog from but if that post talks about "how pro-sex freak people need to be more supportive of people who are into incest" than actually yeah you do sort of have an obligation to make sure they aren't an actual fucking pedophile. the entire basis of that post is "people should stop being mean to actual sex freaks" and you not only reblog it but add onto that yeah that's a fucking issue because 99 percent of time the people who make those posts ARE actual fucking pedophiles, so yeah you probably should be a bit wary. because like.

this is my issue, i don't think you're a pedophile because you don't think there's anything wrong with fiction/sex acts that depict immoral things, my issue is that that logic is used and agreed upon by actual pedophiles. pedophiles are agreeing with you! that's not great! there's my issue with your logic!

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mercurygray · 3 months

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The Only One I've Got

This one goes out to the anonymous Fred Friend.

It looked like it was going to be sunny today.

After the long slow slog through December and January's sleets and snows, sunshine would be welcome, even if it was only for a few thin February hours. The weather was pressing in on them just as much as the missions were, and so far 1944 had not had much to recommend it.

(Their director had asked quietly at New Year's if a reassignment would be welcomed, but she didn't really want to go. If she left she'd lose so many good memories.)

"I left the mail on the table," Tatty said, coming in from the front where they usually parked the jeep. "I didn't see what's there."

"Thanks, Tat!" Fred said, brushing the last of the toast crumbs from her fingers and going to look at the pile. Helen, Helen, Mary, Tatty, Helen - and a small square of what looked like cardstock, stamped several times in purple and red with a very serious German word in the upper left corner, and her name, Freda Torvaldsen, written in careful block script in the address.

She must have made a noise, because Helen was suddenly there, and maybe Tatty, too, and she couldn't remember sitting down in the chair, and the rest of the mail had fallen on the floor. Her vision was swimming a little.

She wanted it to be from him. Maybe it wasn't.

"Fred, honey, you need me to read it to you?"

She shook her head, her hands shaking as she tried to turn it over to open it and nearly ripped the thing in two. Tatty took it from her and eased the seal open before she handed it back.

It was dated three months ago - December.

Dear Fred,

I'm hopeful that maybe you've tried to get news about me before now. If not, my new stationery should inform you - I am alive, and a guest of the Germans in a Prisoner of War camp. I'm sorry I haven't written before now. Now that we are settled we are permitted to send three pieces of mail a month and I needed to tell my folks first.

It feels very strange to write your name at the top of a letter. I've never had to write to you before. I'm hopeful that maybe we can keep this up, if you still feel the same way you did several months ago. Quarters here are close and I couldn't keep who I was writing to private. I need to let you know there have been some complaints. Lots of guys from the old outfit are here with me, and many names that you would know. (I'm not listing them, as I think the censor will black them out.) Hopefully you don't hear from them, too.

I just realized I'm using the word hopeful a lot, but it's the only one I've got. Hopefully Yours, John

PS - There are a few guys here who are not getting mail. Can you share my address with Ma Brennan and see if she could write something? It would be nice to share a little of the news from home and let them know that they aren't forgotten.

She read it through three times, vision increasingly blurry, realizing, belatedly, that the pencil was getting on her fingers. Hopefully yours. She held it to her nose and thought she could smell pipe smoke, and it was the best gift she'd ever gotten.

Of course I'm yours. You're the only one I've got.

A big thank you to a friend who is asking to remain anonymous for sharing images of what POW mail looked like. Some of it was on pre-printed postcards and some was on a message blank, which is what I'm describing here. The big German word Fred can't read is Kriegsgefangenpost, prisoner of war mail. I also just found a website online that has a ton of pictures of what this looked like.

#i have written a thing #mercurygraypresents #freda torvaldsen #john brady x oc #masters of the air oc

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manga-and-stuff · 11 months

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A fascinating side of tumblr...

Before I started this blog, I was completely unaware of the role playing community on this site. Nobody on here ever mentions it, and I've never stumbled on it by accident. I only know it exists in the first place because members of it keep interacting with my posts.

And while I have no interest in role playing myself, I find these blogs fascinating.

First of all, this community must be huge. I've seen hundreds of these blogs just through the activity feed of this blog.

But by far the wildest part is that this entire community seems to follow the same general design and rules.

For example, many blogs use elaborate designs for their pinned posts that usually contain a bunch of links and rules and whatnot:

Same goes for answering asks:

And even the role playing posts themselves all follow the same general designs and rules, with little character portraits and stuff:

Do you guys have like... style guides for this stuff, and how on earth did you get everyone to follow all these rules???

And the tags are probably the most elaborate part of this whole sub culture. They're so unique, I can spot them in my activity feed from a mile away.

Like... how do you even get italic tags???

This low fidelity, monotone color aesthetic also seems quite popular with this community:

It's so widespread and consistent, I wouldn't be surprised if somebody wrote a program with the sole purpose of making these pictures and then handed it out to everyone in the community.

As an outside observer, all of this is both fascinating and slightly terrifying. Just the amount of time and effort that must go into all of this...

And just to clarify a few things:

This is in no way supposed to make fun of the people running these blogs. I love seeing odd little corners of the internet filled with passionate people who are just doing their thing.

I censored all the names and didn't credit any of the screenshots, because these role players seem like a pretty private bunch and I don't want to put a huge spotlight on any individuals.

Every single screenshot in this post came from a different blog.

#the and stuff part of manga and stuff #not manga related at all #discovering this felt a bit like going into the basement of your apartment building for the first time #and finding a model train set the size of a football field with hundreds of people working on it

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hils79 · 17 days

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Hils Watches Only Friends - Ep 2

Honestly not sure who I'm more envious of. Yo and her boyfriend are both so cute

Is Boston going to be the one who catches feelings? Or maybe he's in love with Top which is why he isn't keen on their relationship

Sand might be my favourite character. He's right! Public confessions/proposals are the worst

Mew has a competence kink. Relatable.

Can't decide if Boston is trying to sabotage their relationship or if he's looking out for Mew because Top is actually a dick.

Unrelated to the plot but I'm amused that whenever I liveblog a GMM drama I always refer to everyone by their actor names at first until I learn their characters. I think I've got the main group sorted in my head now.

Someone really needs to talk to Ray about his drinking problem

Oh, I guess Mew just did

I mean he's not the only one

I will be so amused if all of the usual ships end up with other people. Like Khaotung/Book, Force/Neo, which I guess leaves Mark/First which I don't really see but the others would work.

Oh, excellent, their one female friend is also queer. Love it.

Oh, look, Sand and Nick know each other. Maybe my theory isn't that wild

OH MY GOD THEY'RE ABOUT TO BECOME ROOMMATES

I love Mew. They could have so easily made him this naive romantic who gets swept up by Top's bullshit but he's very clear about what he's getting into and what he wants (or doesn't want)

Oh, sweetie, you're in a drama. Everyone has secrets.

Apparenty selling booze to minors is less of a big deal than selling drugs to minors

Oh my god this is like a fic trope. Actually I did read a fic recently where someone hired someone to be their friend (and obv they later fell in love)

Ah of course Ray has childhood trauma from seeing his mum die

Wow they've been fake friends for like an hour and they're already smiling and laughing together

Oh no is he starting to have feelings already?

Well, I'm not exactly surprised by this development

These two just jerked each other off but when they sat up their underwear was miraculously on and in place

He said the words in english and they still censored the subs. I'm having flashbacks to Kinnporsche when Vegas said fuck in English and subs said fudge.

Are you sure about that? I was just being very asexual and thinking being horny all the time the way Boston is sounds exhausting.

More childhood trauma I see.

If you're going to snuggle anyway to help Top sleep why don't you just use the bed. He's only on the couch because you didn't want to sleep together

Thank you for saying all genders

I do not fine smoking attractive at all but sometimes it's hot when it's on TV

Well that happened way sooner than I was expecting

#hils watches #hils watches only friends #hils watches tdramas #only friends #only friends the series #tdrama

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maxphilippa · 1 year

Text

Beware of HybridAlex17.

CW: Guilt-tripping, Suicide Baiting, Manipulation, Stalking, Identity Theft, Death Threats. Please read this. It is very important.

Hello, I usually don't make these type of posts, but lately I've been too stressed to even be here on Tumblr due to a certain individual in The Lego Movie Fandom. And that person is @/HybridAlex17.

Weeks ago, I decided to cut ties with this person on a calm way due to the fact that I genuinely couldn't keep the friendship going on any longer. Truth is that this friendship made me feel like I was trapped.

I'm in no way invalidating his trauma and suffering, and of course, I will always try to help my friends in times of need, but Alex constantly needed me to "comfort him" and basically be there for him all of the time, making me responsible of his emotions since he's an very unstable person "who would think of the worst case scenario happening to me" if I didn't told him what I was doing at the moment. Of course, friendships are meant to work through bad and good times. But there's moments where you should realize that you have limits. I had mine.

And I couldn't possibly just stay any longer in a relationship where it felt like I had to take care of someone. That's not what I'm looking for. It never was. I felt unsafe and constantly scared about what he could do to himself if I said the wrong thing, as he was constantly feeling bad about everything. And call me what you want, but I realized that, I do not want to be there. But even then, I didn't have any hard feelings towards him. I genuinely wished him the best and to get better, but I couldn't be there to see that change. My mental health mattered. So I spoke to him very calmly about it, reassuring him that I do not hate him and I just wanted to cut our ties peacefully.

(At the moment, I censored his name to protect his identity. This was before I blocked him.)

Then, in reply, he guilt-tripped me, wishing that I never met him, that he died that one time, that this never happened, and everything. Despite me having high hopes for him to actually react properly, he didn't. So I ended up blocking him in all of his accounts and just calling it a day, because I didn't want to think of it. Sounds pretty fair by now, right?

Well, the story does not end there. Some more days later, he would then tag me on a PUBLIC POST (because he couldn't just DM me, I guess), apologizing for taking it too personally and for everything in spanish. I spoke to my friends about this at the moment because I really didn't feel like it was genuine. You would never post an apology towards someone unless you would want them to feel pressured to reply to you, right? Well then, because he did this already MORE THAN ONE TIME with me. I blocked him because I really didn't want to deal with it. It was tiring and I was hoping that he would just give up.

(This account of his does no longer exist.)

But then, here comes the impersionation thing. Three days ago, my friends sent me an blog that was weirdly similar to mine. Lucy icon and the description, eh, ya' know. Very fucking basic. And look at the URL. A mix of the words Max and Philippa but changed to spell Philippines.

And if that does not convince you, then take a look at this post.

"Android Emmet AU".

I swear to fucking God.

You guys might or might not know that I'm the creator of the Android Rex AU, I created it on June 22 of the past year, being the second AU I've ever made. So he didn't only just made a weird puppet of me to pretend that we're still friends, he's STEALING THE WHOLE THING AND TRYING TO MAKE OTHERS THINK THAT IT IS AN ACCOUNT OF MINE.

But seriously though. Come on. He's not fooling anyone. It's an pathetic imitation of who I am, of what can I do. He's acting like he knows me enough, but he never even tried to. He could never replace me. He will never get me back. And he knows it. He knows it so well.

Yesterday, it was my birthday. Of course, it was a great day for me. But various anonymus asks came in for me then. The first ones were kind ones, but then, there were some that straight up wished that I was never born and that I died! And hey! Not to assume! But that was Alex in different accounts! Because he literally stopped once I turned the anonymus off and one of my friends stood up for me!

And you can see this by scrolling through my blog just a bit!

And once he realized that he fucked up, because they thought that this friend of mine didn't have any relation with me (despite the fact that I do have posts where I drew their guys), he blocked them and "apologized". Can't even take responsability for such a messed up thing.

And he just didn't stop there. Wishing me death? Expected it. But how did he know that it was my birthday? Because I blocked him before I ever publically told it. And that's when it hit me. An alt account. And someone sent me a post in which he drew Android Rex and Joseph, two of the main characters of my AU for my birthday, saying that he wishes the best for me and stuff.

I never fucking told you when my birthday was. You could have never possibly known unless you were stalking me over an account. You use alternative accounts to boost your own art and don't even try to deny it. People will realize once they take a look. So many empty accounts. Instead of moving on and just fucking accepting that I cut ties with you because you made me feel scared of even entering this app, and learning from your mistakes, you're being a fucking creepy man. And don't deny it. You've done this to a bunch of people here. My close friends were affected by your shit.

And I know that you're going to see this.

And just so you know, since you crave my attention so fucking much to the point where you created a fake account that was "me" so you could still think that nothing happened, let me tell you something.

I was never angry at you. I stated that I wanted to cut ties because I couldn't be in such a toxic relationship. I respected you as a person. But then you tried to make me feel bad about my choice. About everything I do. Because that's what you're good for. Is this how you treat your friends? Because Good Lord. Seeing your true colors makes me think that we were never really friends since the start.

And even then? I'm not angry at you.

I'm disappointed.

And I already hit my favor quota on saying this in the most harmless of ways possible, but I'm feeling generous. So. Like. Have some dignity, would you? Don't be an asshole. Move on. I already did.

I hoped that you would move on. But you never learn anything, do you? You said how much you cared about me back then. I guess death treats, constantly stalking someone, and impersonating them is your way to care.

I will never be your friend.

And to those who read this post, please, do not harass HybridAlex17. As much damage he has done, he's not worth it. What I would be thankful of is that you guys report the fake account he made of me, since I can't do it myself. And let others know about him and his doings.

If you're a friend of HybridAlex17, then I'm deeply sorry. I do not have any hard feelings towards you, but I would rather not interact with anyone who is.

And with this, I'm done. Take care, all of you.

#max speaks #beware of #please reblog so more people can know about this

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hannahwashington · 3 months

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Thank you for linking me to that post! I've read it and find I've several questions at hand. If W*ndigoag are what happens when someone succumbs to GREED AND CRUELTY, how come the Washington siblings turn into them? They didn't cannibalize out of malice, merely desperation. And, it's implied that the guy with the flamethrower is indegineous ("the land is sacred to his forefathers"), so shouldn't he know better than to say the word out loud? And finally, what should we call them if not by their name? Sorry to pester you so much, I'm just alarmed at being unaware after all this time of being a diehard fan of the game. Thank you for your time!

don't worry about pestering me! it's important to have discussions like this, it's how we learn and become better at spotting appropriation and other such things like this in other pieces of media, especially when you're not of that culture.

unfortunately, this is simply the way the spirit is usually depicted in media. people will be looking for a monster that is known for cannibalism, and then appropriate the Algonquian spirit, not looking deeper than that one fact. this is true for Until Dawn as well, hence why the story and the monster is a tragedy about desperation, and not one of greed and cruelty. The miners and Hannah and Josh succumbed because the people at Supermassive didn't look much further than "spirit that does the cannibalism and also there's fire." If Algonquian people had been consulted, the themes of the game would probably be quite different, as the spirit would've been true to form. If Supermassive wanted to keep the feelings of desperation and lack of control and guilt that the game does have, a different monster that actually feeds and preys on those feelings could've been used. I don't know very much about North American folklore, but one that doesn't appropriate indigenous cultures HAS to exist.

Jack Fiddler aka flamethrower guy is named after and based on an actual indigenous man. I'd go so far as to say that he is directly related to the actual Jack Fiddler in canon. If it wasn't obvious that Algonquian people were not consulted when making the game before, it does when looking at his character. You're totally right - he should know better, even if he was actively seeking them out and hunting them.

Like I said in the first post I made about this, call them monsters when talking generally. If you're talking about main game Hannah, just call her Hannah - there's really no reason to do otherwise. Same thing applies to Josh. And if you really have to say it for whatever reason, make sure you censor it like you did in this ask.

#ask #anonymous #answered #hopefully this answer is satisfying! here's another 'not the best person to ask' addendum #moots that know more feel free to add your own two cents/correct me #until dawn #josh washington #hannah washington

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beautifulpersonpeach · 1 year

Note

BPP I have been thoroughly wrecked by Yoongi. HIS VOICE? HIS CHARISMA??

My god. He's been your bias since debut?! You're strong woman. How did you do it?? One concert and I'm ready to bear kids for him. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

/gen

Ask 2: I'm sorry!!! But look at this!!!! twitter com/sujimschim/status/1652517741226790913 looolll I think army's gonna be okay (pun intended lol) Sorry I think I'm having a post wlive high right now. lol Also did you hear about that insanely lucky army who got Yoongi video on their phone AND got to sit next to Jimin during the concert?! Like WOW. I'm amazed. Isn't that harder than the lottery?? lol Ok I'll really stop. Have a good night!!

Ask 3: A TO THE G TO THE U TO THE STD

Ask 4: Yoongi looks SO GOOD IN WHITE T WALKING DOWN THE HALLWAYYYYYYSSSSSS?!@#@!K?!@! THANK YOU JIMIN FOR SCOLDING YOOOONNNNGGGGIIIIII!!!!!!!!!

Ask 5: I love how Yoongi sticks to his first iteration of Sorry for being cute choreo. That choreo is becoming a lore of its own. yoominforlife lol Also OMGGGG his concert haegeum performance is gonna be LIT. I personally really love the name of the song and all the word play that's hidden inside it

Ask 6: i want to fuck yoongi till the paint peels off the walls i need to suck his thick fat cock clean empty, gobble his midas balls till i gag and after that read him my deontological critique of neitzche's assertion that god is dead. because god is well and truly alive and i just sucked his balls dry. i was lost and stupid in the wilderness of my ignorance of his divine hotness. i doubted your mind for your esteemed love for him. i was foolish but he has made me a believer. i want to be shoooshed by yoongi. then fuck him till he blacks out. consensually.

sorry. pls don't hate me bpp yoongi just drives me so fucking insane.

Ask 7: D-Day tour setlist is INSANE. Banger after friggin baanger Bpp! Have you tried to rank Suga's songs before? All his solo songs too can you rank them Bpp?

***

Hi Anon(s),

Anon in ask 2, your link. And yeah, that person was super lucky. 💜

I need to confess to y’all. I caved and got myself an earlier ticket. Usually, I buy my tickets for later in the tour to give myself time to calm down and adjust. I’d have spoiled the setlist for myself, listened to it ad infinitum till the lyrics were ingrained and my hormones were in equilibrium. But this time I couldn’t wait till the Cali dates, (still going). I had to see Yoongi tonight.

And Christ, I have ascended.

I know I will not be coherent, I’m already trying to self censor as I write , but I want to get this out here because many of you have sent me asks about him, some I know I can’t post ever, so I’m hoping someone else gets it whatever it is I’m tying to say.

…

Yoongi is so beautiful.

Yoongi is a rock star, and I mean that in a literal sense. He makes rock music, thinks like a rock star, and sings like a rock star. His live renditions of Amygdala are the perfect example of this. Pairing screamo rock in the chorus with the guitar solos in the outro, everything about Yoongi's vision for that song is centered around liberation, a value that's inherent to a rock star.

(Yes. That’s the objective correct answer.)

I laughed reading all your asks btw. (Anon in ask 6, I see you, I get you, and I don't judge you.) Ranking Agust D's songs is impossible for me. My personal taste is screamo rock and dirty trap or drill, I like songs with distinct percussion, lots of guitars, and/or distortion, voice cracks, autotune, etc. Artists like Nirvana, ONE OK ROCK, Kendrick Lamar, Twenty One Pilots, and Jimin give me bits and pieces of that sound, but no one in BTS knows how to scratch that itch for me better than Yoongi.

He’s just the right kind of insane to speak my language.

The duality that shimmers around Jimin like a mirage and is central to his magnetism, where you can’t be sure of who, what, exactly you’re looking at - man, woman, child, king, snake, panther, cat, metal, silk, fire, ice - all in one. That duality, lives in Yoongi’s music.

It’s elsewhere too, but it lives in his music. Even underneath all of that, he just makes some of the best music around.

That beat change at the end of Shadow? That's music tailor-made for me. Cypher Pt 3, AGUST D (the song), What Do You Think?, Trivia: Seesaw, the live performances of HUH?! and Amygdala are a revelation. All his music sounds perfectly made for me.

I honestly have no choice but to love him.

(I have no words when it comes to Yoongi.)

I won’t exactly rank his music here. I’ll discuss some of my favourites based on things like production, message, flow, feel, etc. Maybe.

Production

724148

This song is criminally underrated. I mean it's a crime more people aren't screaming from the rooftops about how crisp this track is. Listening to 724148 was the first time it really hit me how brilliant Yoongi is as a producer.

So Far Away ft Suran

You need to listen to this song on good speakers. It will change your life for the better. Do that, then come back here and tell me how you feel.

Burn It ft MAX

You know, when I heard the live performance of this song, I called a friend to help me re-calibrate my speakers. To recreate that feel. The production on the song is insane. Not to mention Yoongi's flow in the second verse.

Amygdala

The guitars are placed and layered perfectly. I love how forward the drums are in the mix. The autotune is one of my favourite things about it too. The entire song is perfect.

Daechwita

Am I the only person who hears the same static in the song intro that continues faintly in the foreground for the entirety of the song? As though you're entering a glitch. It's so sick. The main/central beat doesn't vary much, all the texture comes from Yoongi's adlibs. And he does an excellent job elevating it to something more.

(It truly embarrasses me that I cannot allow myself to talk about him. He’s that… much.)

Flow / Delivery

You've all seen me go on and on about Jimin's vocals. About how much Jimin's voice is the catalyst for ecstasy when I listen to BTS's music. But Yoongi's voice affects me just as strongly, if not more, in a very different way.

I’m a sucker for the kitten. That insane high pitched thing he does drives me to the limits of my sanity. But he’s also a natural baritone. A nasty one at that. You can hear it in the music he makes. And that’s my kryptonite.

Have you listened to HUH?! Like, really listened to it? Do you hear his flow from 1:08 - 1:15?

youtube

Do you hear how disgusting this brat is?

Fuck.

Let’s just move on.

Some favourites where his flow, delivery, switch-ups, is frankly ridiculous:

Shadow

Burn It ft. MAX

AGUST D

HUH?! ft j-hope

Cypher Pt. 3

Aside, the instrumental of this track, along with Cypher Pt. 4, Dionysus trap remix, Danger MMA 2019 version, and We Are Bulletproof Eternal, is incredible.

Feel

Honsool

Making a list based on pure vibes, Honsool has to show up. Yoongi captured the unmoored, untethered feeling of drifting through haze, distilled and crystalized into Honsool. Genius.

Give It To Me

What Do You Think?

HUH ft j-hope

Tony Montana ft. Jimin

I'm a sucker for the grit in their voices in this song. The live version specifically.

(He’s such a problem for me y’all…)

Not to get into this, but he also does sweet, poppy songs too. Some faves being That That, Amygdala, People, Trivia: Seesaw…

He is a true artist.

And nothing is hotter than that.

Message

I started writing this long paragraph about the themes in his music and stopped because I’ve really gone on long enough. I’m barely keeping it together here. I just saw him lose his mind with happiness at the ARMY who disguised her iPhone as a Samsung. That wide smile on his face is still replaying in my head. I’m happy he’s happy, because he’s made me so happy.

Anyway, some fave tracks I reach for, for their message:

5 - Strange ft RM

4 - UGH

3 - Snooze ft Ryuichi Sakamoto & Woosung

2 - Amygdala

1 - People

In a class of its own, I have to mention The Last. That song is a reckoning and wake up call. It's everything and I'm forever proud of Yoongi for making it.

Have y’all imagined what the concert will be like in 2026? Have you really sat down to think about what it could look like? Because I have. And it looks like pure bliss. No matter what is happening in the world at that time, I must see BTS.

It’s a decision I made last June, but Yoongi on this tour has breathed fire into that desire. He’s made me want him, crave his sound, daydream of his music playing in my head…

If I could I would’ve sued this man already.

Anyway, Anon in ask 1, welcome to getting wrecked by Yoongi. He is layer upon delightful layer of loyal, creative, tortured beautiful genius hovering just on the edge of insanity. I’m hopeful that he completes his tour as planned, enlists as planned, serves as planned, and is discharged and back to BTS as planned.

In the meantime, I’ll fully enjoy the time he’s spending with us and the music he’s making for us. I’m happy y’all are joining me in this too. 💜

#yoongi #min Yoongi #Agust d #Suga #BTS #d day #d day tour #And fuck Hybe with their fuckass dynamic pricing

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coridallasmultipass · 2 days

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Personal vent post, how I tag things, apologies for this probably showing up in search results because I'm not censoring words (do not have the spoons rn)

So I'm getting really frustrated (at the situation, not at individual people! Sorry to vague right after getting a request, I was gonna make this post like a week ago) that multiple people have asked me not to tag Bro/Cal reblogs as Stridercest.

Stridercest does not mean incest, it means Strider/Strider relationship. I'm tagging it for followers who don't want to see Strider/Strider at all (or for those who do, too, I guess). On MY blog, it has NO bearing on whether or not something is incest. Lil Cal has been a Strider since Day 1 to me, way before any of the events after Act 6, as a pure vanilla puppet. A Strider by marriage, in my opinion. But I'm not opposed to calculating the amount of Strider that got put in Lil Cal, as I've done before. You also have Dirk/Hal which is also Stridercest, but not incest (at least in canon, sometimes it is incest in fan depictions). Or Guardiancest, which I don't think counts as incest in canon either (but usually always is in fan depictions). Even selfcest between one Strider (beta!Dave/beta!Dave in a time travel situation, for example) is still gonna be Stridercest to me.

The ONLY Stridercest I add the specific ship tag for is Bro/Cal, because that's otp5eva for me, separate from any other Strider stuff (Stridercest probably doesn't even make top 3 HS ships for me). Everything else only gets the blanket Stridercest in reblogs, because I already tag a lot, I don't have the energy to add nuanced tags for weird Strider situations, and whether or not that constitutes incest, or which version of a character it is, especially when the artist/authors don't usually make the difference explicitly stated in their own caption/tags, and sometimes it's vague on purpose! (I'm currently writing a fic where Bro and Dirk are the same person! I'm not gonna make the distinction a big deal.)

It's mostly frustrating because then I have to decide if untagging the relationship as Stridercest is going to make someone else following me uncomfortable who will then see it untagged.

Going forth, I am going to delete whatever reblog I made if I get this request from someone else again. I'm trying to remember names, so I don't reblog any future content that would conflict with their requests, but this has already happened with three people in like the past two weeks. Had to block one person for telling me to die because I tagged "Stridercest" on the post preventatively, as usual, because I care about tagging for my followers. (I literally checked their blog like 3 times to make sure they didn't have a DNI pinned, and I still got told to die for my efforts lmao.)

Literally, please just DM me privately (thank you to the other people who did, sorry for the trouble!), and I will either delete the reblog, or block you if you request that. I'm not TRYING to make people uncomfortable, which is the whole reason why I tag it to begin with.

So, I'm not un-tagging shit anymore, it's delete only from now on. I'm not going against my own blog rules I set both to try and accommodate my followers, and to make searching my blog easier for myself. (Used to not tag anything from like 2011-2016 or later, and I'm still in the process of back-tagging everything, since it's been so frustrating to find old fandom posts.)

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kaylinalexanderbooks · 3 months

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Old WIPs time

So I reread this middle school WIP I had called Perspectives. I also rewrote it in high school but didn't get very far.

A few things of note:

The MS version is done in blatant diary entries while the HS version I committed to the gimmick of the same scene five times. Unfortunately I didn't get past the first scene three times.

So funny this takes place in 2025. I really thought this would be published by then.

For once, I'm convinced my protagonist Hollyn is straight. Most of my old OCs had queer undertones (I mean they still do but it's primarily intentional now) but Hollyn is not put off by boys like the rest of them. She could be bi or pan or something but idk she doesn't fit the vibe. May make her that later down the road but it depends on her vibe.

Ohh her best friend Laurel is the self-insert this time, got it. MS version she complains about Hollyn being boy crazy for having one crush.

Fun fact, Laurel was my first intentionally queer character. In the HS version she is lesbian and I did not shy away from making that clear even though she was not out consensually.

Jess was also a bit of a self insert. He's Hollyn's love interest and I think the first boy POV I ever wrote. I go into more natural descriptions of his attraction to Hollyn than I do Hollyn with him. For her it's "his black hair fell over his dark eyes" and Jess is talking about how her skin is so dark and the most beautiful he's seen ever and she has dark brown chocolate pools as eyes and he's stepping closer and omg how did I not know I liked girls????

Jess is also asexual like me probably because he's the one complaining that "fourteen year olds shouldn't call each other hot that's an exclusively adult thing"

Another blond bully named Jason like in TSP. Jason Sturges in TSP and Jason Mace here. Mace???

Jason swore but Jess (me) censored it.

In the HS version though I was more comfortable swearing and Laurel narrating "Shit with a capital S-H-I-T" was actually really funny.

Unironically Hollyn was part of a giant lie collectively referred to as The Incident

Writing in Payton's pov was interesting since she was a morally gray character. Doing that in middle school is interesting for me.

I literally had soap opera plot twists planned. May scrap that since they're not interesting

I think I'm gonna call this WIP This Story is Told Five Times. Maybe just Five Times. Repeat ×5. I don't know man!!!! Perspectives is nice and straight to the point but not only are fun quirky titles, well, fun, I like them longer. But I want something that gets the idea of the story being told five times across better. Idk I'll think on it. It's not like I'm gonna work on this immediately.

I thought this would really work as a MG novel as opposed to my usual YA. But then I read the "S-H-I-T" line and that's too funny I can make it YA.

#writing blog #writers on tumblr #writing community #my wips #old wip #old writing #writers of tumblr #writing on tumblr #writeblr community #writeblr #writer things #writing #writers

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shiro-s2e2-erukinzu · 2 years

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After getting sick with a stomach ache on Saturday, getting distracted / lost track of time on Sunday night, and finally getting to play Pokémon Scarlet with my brother (who got Violet) on Monday, which me and my brother have been playing non stop in our free time for past few days... 😵

I have FINALLY watched Spy X Family episode 20...!! 😤 And here's my thoughts:

I really enjoyed it...!! 😁

Saturday's episode covered Mission 29 and did some more anime only stuff, which I very much appreciate...! 😄 In fact, one of my favorite parts of the episode was when Yor imagines taking Anya to her assassin job! 😁

Now I a ready enjoyed this part in manga, but I think that the anime made it EVEN BETTER!! 😆 And though they censored the blood and gore...:

It was still so fun to watch!! 😁

There was one thing that I preferred in the manga over the anime, though... And that was THIS FACE that Anya made:

I mean, they're pretty much the same face... But, I just prefer how the one in the manga looks...! 😌

But, I have to say... THIS FACE was definitely captured PERFECTLY in the anime: 👌

And though this isn't a change in the anime, I wanted to share a change from the manga!

You see, when Mission 29 first released digitally, the woman in the pictures below (whose name I won't reveal) looked completely different...

As you can see, in the first version: Both of her eyes are shown, her top button was undone, she had no earings, and her head looked a lot more narrow... While in the official volume release, she looks the way she does now...!:

Apparently, Tatsuya Endo (the creator of Spy X Family) had a really hard time designing her, but knew that he wanted her to have short, light-colored hair...! 😄 Pretty neat, right...? 👌

Anyway, on to the anime part of the episode:

IT WAS ADORABLE AND FUNNY...!! 😆

I loved seeing Anya give everyone a secret code, especially to Damian and Franky (their parts were my favorite...!!) 😂 Everything about this half of the episode was such a nice addition to the series as whole... 😊

And those were my thoughts on episode 20! Sorry it took so long...! 😅 I will say that I am quite intrigued by the next up in coming episode of the anime... Mainly because it looks as though they're adding another anime only part (which I'm usually fine with), but honestly... I don't know how to feel about that just yet... 🤷

Anyway, I'll see you all in a few days for the anime, and then the manga...! 😊 PEACE! ✌

#spy x family #sxf #spyxfamily #spy x family anime #sxf anime #spyxfamily anime #spy x family episode 20 #episode review #anya forger #loid forger #yor forger #bond forger #franky franklin #damian desmond #becky blackbell

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hislittleraincloud · 7 months

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You haven't made it in fandom until you've garnered hate, and that's what's happening now under Insomniac's Wenovan story.

Some asshat is spewing the usual garbage about the ship. But instead of sticking to the fiction, the bish went full-on MAGAt and inserted that us 'liberals' are all trying to push an agenda of pedophilia onto people, which to me just screams Warriors for Innocence (and I was waiting for Bible verses...alas, they didn't come).

It's almost like none of Wenovan's critics understand what fiction is.

That, plus MAGAts like that anon who cry about liberals are all ignoring the fact that the vast majority of men arrested for sex or inappropriate relationships with minors have been MAGAt-y right wingy 'Christians'*** and conservatives.

Former youth pastor in Colorado was convicted of sexual exploitation of a minor on October 13th.

Former youth pastor in Florida arrested on October 10th for transmitting harmful material to a minor.

Youth pastor in Ohio is on the run after being charged with 14 counts of sexually abusing minors on October 9th.

Former youth pastor from Duluth, MN charged with sexual misconduct with five teen girls on October 5th.

Former youth pastor in Wisconsin sentenced to 20 years on October 3rd for repeated SA of a teen (and wow, "will also not be allowed to serve as a pastor unless approved by his supervising agent" 💀)

Church youth leader arrested at the end of September for multiple counts of sexual battery (yet some news organizations protect his name because...Florida...but his name is Gregory Norton).

Former youth church leader in South Carolina arrested for criminal sexual conduct with a minor in late September

There's more from September, but I want to end this list on a doozy: a former KINDERGARTEN teacher and SENIOR PASTOR in North Carolina arrested and charged with child sex crimes on August 22nd

Less are the cops, and the rabbis, the Muslim clerics (in this country, at least), and the above list is just a fraction of the 'Christians' arrested within the couple of months. But I also pointed out that a pro-life, anti-abortion pill Texas state Republican secessionist who proposed an anti-drag bill "to protect children" had to resign in May for grooming: he plied a 19-year-old intern with alcohol, raped her, and then drove to a drug store so that she could get that very same Plan B pill that the hypocritical fucker was so against everyone else having.

That's our reality that we live in. But it's not the reality of fiction, where we can explore all sorts of issues and relationships safely (or, at least, we're supposed to be safe here).

You don't have to like Wenovan. In fact, I know that this fandom doesn't like it because this fandom is filled with the Gen Z types who have been indoctrinated to believe that merely writing about something makes you an advocate for what you're writing about. It's a seriously misguided application of identity politics that prevents creative writers (and actors, and producers, etc.) from exploring these issues without guilt or being guilted away from telling a story. It's called censorship, whether it be external or self-regulated...it's censoring what you as a writer and artist want to express through your work.

This is old hat for me. Very old hat. Shortly before I was arrested on that bogus attempted murder charge, I was persecuted in my school for simply writing a poem called "Little Catholic Girl". My English professor thought it was brilliant, and couldn't figure out how I was able to capture Catholic Guilt without being Catholic myself...I didn't have any answer for her aside from me wanting to be a writer and to do that I needed to walk in others' shoes. Plus, that poem was written about my most recent ex at the time, a girl who was quite into me and what we were doing, but was also crazy fundie about Catholicism (having gone to a parochial school before coming to public school like our high school), and more than a few times after she did something she felt guilty over, she would zip into a corner of her room or my room and start praying aloud.

I'm not fucking joking. Not even a minute after an orgasm and she'd be in a corner, crying and praying. Yet she would always be the one to initiate. (We never even got naked...it was all my handiwork.)

But I digress. I had submitted the poem to our lit mag, and someone reported it to the house master (we had houses in our little high school, and I was in the color and mascot equivalent of Gryffindor 🤮), and the next thing I know, I'm in his office and he's red-faced and pacing with a copy of my poem in his hand. He finally says to me, "Do you know what this is about? It's about lesbianism!" I just said, "Uh...well, I wrote it." because I couldn't think of anything else to say without being rude, and I already knew I was in trouble. They ended up pulling the poem from consideration and banning it, telling me that it wasn't allowed to be considered for the lit mag again. They censored me, because I wrote a poem about my short relationship with a crazy Catholic girl.

So of course I printed the most explicit excerpt of said poem onto a t-shirt with a suggestive graphic and wore it around school the next day. I got many dirty looks from the house master and the fucking bullfrog of a social worker who was also shitty to LGBTQ students, but I never changed nor did I cover up. I was 'outed' by it, but didn't care; it was 1990, so I put up with a LOT of anti-LGBTQ crap at my high school. 🫠✨

I learned at a very young age that there will always be some asshole looking to tell you what you can't write. But I have never listened to them. I have been an artist and writer for as long as I can remember, and what comes out of my creative brain is mine, and I'm not putting a gun to anyone's head and forcing them to read what I share.

I've also known hypocrisy for as long as I can remember, and it's usually the worst hypocrites who are quick to cast their sanctimonious judgments directly at writers.

If you don't like what we're writing about, why are you even here? Do you see any of us writers hopping on over to your Facebook pages to laugh at and mock your religion? While we should, we just don't have that kind of time. So how is it that you have the time to sit there and whine about something you read--presumably AFTER you read the tags? I'm normal, I read the tags of a story on AO3 and if I don't think I'll like, I ✨gasp✨ DON'T READ IT.

Jesus. Is it really that hard not to read something? I mean, I buy books that I desperately want to read but don't ever get around to it. I'm actually spending money on things I want to read but haven't, yet here we've got Karens who read shit that they'll tell you they don't like.

Anyway. My current depiction of Wenovan is a healthy one (aside from Wednesday's sex addiction). If you think it's unhealthy, it's because you're still stuck in your lens of 2023 reality...when I am writing from a lens of a fictionalized world where your morals don't precisely apply. I could write a different storyline/AU of my own story where she IS groomed or assaulted, but it would look very, very different from what I'm writing here, or what Insomniac wrote. Maybe some day I will take up that lens, but I'm currently not interested.

I'm writing a positive story about a couple doomed to their fates (Donovan, because he is old, and Wednesday because she will lose her greatest love sooner than she should have to). I'm not going to give out too much info right now (except for what I leak in comments and posts here 🤓), but the positivity is that they will weather their political/social storms with the kind of grace that Wednesday is known for, and they will be happy because that's what she wants in the current Afterburn timeline.

No one's censorship should prevent an artist from telling their stories. No one's moralizing comments should prevent an artist from telling their stories, and I sincerely hope that anyone else who would 'dare' write Wenovan (or even Weemsday, when Wednesday is 16/current) can ignore these hypocritical Moms for Liberty-like Karens and publish their work without guilt.

*** Afterburn Wednesday actually addressed this very thing in the text of the last upload I made, in her flashback speech to Mr. Fortunato, her parochial school AP Lit professor. She made him aware that she knew of several inappropriate teacher-student relationships at the school, relationships where the girls were trading sex for better grades.

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otakween · 1 year

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Digimon Adventure (Manga) - Vol. 1

This is the manga (or manhua) adaptation of the original Digimon Adventure anime. I got my copy from the library and you can borrow it for free on Archive.org!

Manga adaptations of anime are typically cheap money grabs that just copy-paste from the anime, removing some of the soul of the original along the way. As such, I'm not expecting much from this.

Notes:

Ch. 1

-You can almost always tell when a manga isn't drawn by a Japanese artist, it's just a certain vibe (I know this is technically a manhua). That being said, the art is competent enough. Yuen Wong seems to struggle most when it comes to faces. A lot of the faces look really janky and off model for both the digimon and the digi-destined. The only other thing that's kind of off is that the text boxes are very heavily lined and take up a lot more space than I'm used to.

-When Sora is drawn in chibi-mode she has the straps of her hat up like a rabbit. At first the silhouette was so unfamiliar that I had no idea who it was lol.

-So they covered two episodes in one chapter (up until the Shellmon battle). Let's see if the pace stays that way...

Ch. 2

-This definitely has a similar vibe to most manga adapted from anime that I've read. I wonder if it will diverge from the original material at any point, too soon to judge.

-Tai says to Agumon "I'll do anything but a teeth buffing" and I have nooo idea what that means? (Is he saying "don't eat me?") Also in chapter one Izzy said "baby blue, how emasculating!" when talking about the digivice. I don't think Koushiro would ever say that tbh. I feel like spotting these weird dialogue choices is going to be the most entertaining part about reading this.

Ch. 3

-I guess we're now going at a pace of one episode per chapter, which is fine. Somehow the content still seems a little condensed with a lot of the emotional beats cut out. I feel like the setting changes every two seconds which is giving me whiplash.

-Some weird quirks: the digi-destined call their digimon by their rookie names, even when they're in champion form. Also, the artist really really likes drawing smiley faces as stand-ins for the actual characters. That's like a step below chibification lol

-I think manga like this is perfect for if you wanted to watch Digimon Adventure 02, but you didn't want to catch up on a 50+ episode anime. It's a lot faster to read than to watch. (Although probably not as satisfying overall).

Ch. 4

-More cheesy dialogue. Izzy says "don't mess with an elite hacker" to Tai lol. Koushiro is way more likeable in the original Japanese because localizations loved to make nerds insufferable in the 90s.

-It's funny, I've never thought of Tentomon as robot-like, but in this chapter he said his parts were "short circuiting" and I was like "oh yeahhh...I guess he does have metallic features"

-Did we really need that close-up crotch shot of Andromon?

-You would think that the plot point of there being editable code laying around in random areas of the digital world would have come up again, but I can't remember another time it was really used to the kids' advantage.

Ch. 5

-This panel made me laugh:

(something about this phrasing and the expressionless chibis is so funny).

-And then Izzy never manually triggered a digivolution again...for some reason? (I feel like this was definitely explained in the anime, but I can't remember what they said).

-They didn't censor the poop this time! As usual, you can get away with more in print than you can on the screen B)

-They confirm that you can repel Numemon with sunlight...and then immediately the kids get attacked by more Numemon in broad daylight. Quickest continuity error ever!

-Another chuckle worthy moment:

Ch. 6

-Okay, but this one had me die laughing. Just a really good dad joke:

-Going from Adventure 02 back to the early Adventure days the stakes really do feel lower. No existential conundrums or human/humanoid villains to contend with. Just rampaging digis that can be easily cured.

Ch. 7

-Maybe it's just a translation thing, but sometimes the digimon act like there's one of each digimon species. Like Gomamon says "Unimon's a nice guy!" as if there's one Unimon in the world. Pretty confusing for kids. I wish mon series would just use names (they do sometimes, but it's not the status quo).

Yep, that was pretty generic. I wish they had thrown some more personality in there to make this a unique experience. I would have loved to read some final thoughts from the mangaka or to have gotten an omake of some sort. Ohhh welll...

#digimon digital monsters #manhua #manga #digimon

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vasyas-tie-clip · 1 year

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Arestovych's government work before the full-scale invasion: a writeup

See my previous writeup on Arestovych's military resume here. I was originally hoping to cover the entirety of Arestovych's time in government in one post, but there's really so many layers, and so much more info you can find from him and others about this era, that 2/24 makes for a natural stopping point.

Disclaimer that I don't know Russian and I only know the tiniest bit of Ukrainian, so I'm getting almost all my info through MTL. I probably got overzealous with censoring user names this time, but since I already went to the effort I'll keep it that way. I'm going to try to cover this period in more detail than I did the military period, which also probably means running into more of my limitations regarding knowledge of Ukrainian politics and governance. As usual, corrections and additions welcome!

A note to start

Recently, this interview with Arestovych came out, containing one particular passage that I promptly added to the writeup on his military career:

One of my military specialties is an information counteraction officer. There is even an educational task there: to bring public opinion to certain indicators on a certain issue in a particular region. This is a task for novice lieutenants. A separate town is taken, and you must, on a separate issue, bring it to certain indicators in one or two months.

With the caveat that I can't access most of his video material, since his speaking style doesn't work well with auto-subs, this is the most direct confirmation I recall from him of what seemed likely the case: he was trained in his intel officer days in not just analyzing information, but putting it out, public-influencing work that sounds an awful lot like what he's doing now. This fits in with the 2015 interview where he mentioned he was a type of military specialist that couldn't normally be called to the front involuntarily, and Budanov's striking decision to interview with him in the wake of Wagnergate back when he was ostensibly just a glorified milblogger.

I think that gets at a larger point when it comes to trying to figure out Arestovych--I hadn't initially wanted to dig into his pre-OP military career, because I knew I'd be falling into a deep rabbit hole, but you're going to get a very different impression of him if all you know about those years is the accusations by his haters that he's just a talking head making up his military cred for the sake of his ego. (Really, with maybe one early exception, I'm not sure he's publicly gone into any of his personal heroic deeds unless someone else made it public or raised a fuss first. The "33 combat outings" meme was from a conversation he thought was off-camera, people were spreading nasty rumors about the minefield incident, and it's actually one of his former enemies who first revealed his role in the defense of Kyiv.) He might not resemble most people's idea of a soldier (then again intel spooks have a whole different set of stereotypes), but his military background is an important part of him. Even as he's ostensibly just a hot Youtuber and (ex-)official in civilian government these days, he's in fact still using a lot of the skills he got from the GUR, he has a lot of military ties, and I really do think that a sizeable part of his self-conception (and self-romanticization) is that he's an officer sworn to Ukraine, with a duty to the state as a whole, above any personal comfort or political faction. You can argue over his interpretation of that duty, but not that he's put his life on the line for it. It's relevant context to this part of his life even as he, uh, proceeds to thoroughly torch his reputation in military/volunteer circles for god and country I guess.

Backstory

The start of this writeup overlaps chronologically with the end of the previous one--Arestovych was serving in the army through Zelenskyy's presidential campaign, election, and first months in office in 2019. While some people now claim he used to be a full-on Poroshenkobot, that's something of an overstatement. He said a lot of rude things about Zelenskyy and his supporters, and pushed various narratives against him during the election, but he still generally gave credit where credit was due; meanwhile, he had considerable criticism for Poroshenko, freely admitted Poroshenko was corrupt, and considered Poroshenko's own policy failures to blame for Zelenskyy's rise. But he considered Poroshenko the only viable candidate in terms of national security, and lost friends over the names he called anyone who'd vote for anyone else (including Yuriy Romanenko, the journalist he's currently doing his Alpha and Omega roundtables with, whom he only made up with years later). In his words, a surgeon has a cemetery behind his back, until he learns, and a commander-in-chief has ten. He fully expected a Russian escalation within the next president's term, they didn't have the time to train up a new president, and corruption wasn't going to matter if they got overrun.

That year and a half between early 2019 and mid 2020 swings between measured analysis, snarking at Zelenskyy's early blunders, cautious optimism, and profanity-laden personal attacks on Zelenskyy and everyone who voted for him. He maintained from the start that Zelenskyy had personal virtues and the potential to learn, but he was clueless and squeamish, and his original team was a mix of similarly clueless idealists and cynical players in the pockets of oligarchs who'd rapidly turn on each other once in power. He consistently pushed back against narratives that Zelenskyy personally was a Russian agent, in a somewhat "don't attribute to malice what you can attribute to incompetence" way, but considered him beholden to Kolomoisky, and suspected pro-Russian and "anti-Maidan" elements in the team.

You can definitely look for ulterior motives in Arestovych's takes (certainly, people joked he'd been paid off by the other side in the comments every time he wrote something kind of nice about Zelenskyy or vice versa), but at the same time...this is basically the reaction you'd expect for someone who's interested in deeds over politicians, but also genuinely believes the leader society chose might get people killed and just has to live with it. Regardless, after commenters went "instead of bashing Zelenskyy for what he did wrong, how about you do something about it," he openly announced early on, in July 2019, that he'd work for the Ze team if they had the willingness to take on a vocal critic. And apparently, for some time that summer, he actually got in touch with them and tried to offer them advice. The arrangement was likely informal, I don't think he ever met Zelenskyy himself at this point (based on things he later said), and it's unclear whom among the team he met--at that point, Bohdan was still head of the OP, Yermak was only a presidential aide, his old GUR friend Mashovets wasn't yet in, and the OP would suffer heavy turnover between then and his actual appointment as advisor over a year later. But by October 2019, he'd apparently given up on cooperation after seeing all his advice go ignored. By June 2020, he'd been banned by Zelenskyy's Facebook page, probably because he kept tagging Zelenskyy in his snarky posts (he later said that the OP read everything he wrote about them, and seemed quite impressed that they had the fortitude to invite him anyway.)

August 2020 appears to have been a turning point for him. He sounded genuinely happy at Budanov getting appointed to head the GUR in the aftermath of Wagnergate; while it's unclear how much of his initial attempts to clean up the scandal was to help him and how much he would've done regardless out of principle, that experience, combined with other dramas around the same time, seemed to leave him increasingly disgusted by the willingness of some "patriots" to spread dubious narratives beneficial to the Russians just out of hatred for the Zelenskyy government. While he continued to criticize the government for perceived missteps, he acknowledged that it was making actual strides in national defense issues, while the opposition was growing increasingly toxic and delusional. But it seems like few people expected that Zelenskyy's team would offer him actual positions, or that he'd accept.

Trilateral Contact Group (TCG)

There seems to be a lot of confusion around Arestovych's precise government titles in general. Articles often refer to him as spokesperson of the Ukrainian delegation to the TCG, but in fact, in the words of the official document, on October 28, 2020, he was appointed advisor of information policy by Leonid Kravchuk, first president and head of the Ukrainian delegation. While his role resembled that of a spokesperson from the outside, this seems another one of those advisor positions that's more influential than the title suggests.

The background info as I understand it: The Trilateral Contact Group was the main venue of negotiations between Russia and Ukraine (mediated by the OSCE) over the Minsk-2 agreements, which had established a ceasefire and laid out a series of steps toward peace. Signed effectively at gunpoint by Poroshenko, while Ukrainian troops were in danger of encirclement, Minsk-2 was unfavorable, hastily written, and had ambiguities that needed further negotiation; an interpretation acceptable to Russia would require concessions unacceptable to most Ukrainians, but perceived unwillingness to work with the agreements would discredit Ukraine on the world stage, and meanwhile other subgroups within the TCG could accomplish smaller-scale results like prisoner exchanges and opening checkpoints.

So the meetings and negotiations went on, even as progress was stymied and the TCG was suspected domestically of being a platform for selling out Ukrainian interests. Earlier in the year, Yermak's attempt to push negotiations forward had sparked a scandal (that may have resulted in Podolyak joining the OP, incidentally--Podolyak wrote a snarky op-ed about how Yermak's respectable motives couldn't salvage his clumsy handling of the situation, the public now considers him a "dark demon" who tried to betray the state to Russia, that's what happens when you don't have any good media speakers but your opponents do...and three weeks later Podolyak was made an Advisor to the Head of the OP.) September 2020 ended with another scandal, as Vitold Fokin (who'd been Prime Minister under Kravchuk and was now the first deputy head of the Ukrainian TCG delegation) capped off a string of concerningly Russia-friendly statements at odds with the official Ukrainian position by saying that he didn't see a war between Russia and Ukraine in the Donbas. Even before Fokin's firing, Reznikov (who was deputy head of the Ukrainian delegation to the TCG, before getting appointed Minister of Defense in November 2021) had announced the need for a spokesperson to express a unified position to mass media (which might account for some of the confusion around Arestovych's precise title.)

Around that time, from the sound of Arestovych's account, he'd warmed up enough to the current government, and experienced enough secondhand embarrassment at the Fokin scandal, to offer himself up to prevent a repeat. He was invited to observe at several TCG meetings, alongside other candidates, where he provided enough worthy advice to eventually receive a formal position.

The appointment sparked outrage on the internet. There were those who thought the position was too good for Arestovych, the self-declared lying propagandist who'd said spectacularly rude things about the current government and its supporters. And then there were the ones who'd thought that Arestovych was too good for the position, who now saw him as a treacherous sellout for joining a suspect organization within a suspect government that he'd previously criticized harshly.

Responding to the first group, Kravchuk stated that the decision was made after a month of evaluation, and no one in the delegation objected to Arestovych ultimately being chosen; he had military experience and proven ability to "provide in-depth informational communication of everything related to the war in Donbass," and Kravchuk considered his ability to hold and defend distinctive opinions a feature rather than a bug.

Responding to the second group, Arestovych said that he expected he'd be considered a traitor just for being involved with the TCG, but this work was too important not to do for the sake of the country. He freely admitted that before he joined the TCG delegation, he'd misunderstood about 70% of its aims and policies; if he'd misunderstood so badly despite being a military-trained analyst, what chance did the average person have? Even if Minsk-2 might be fundamentally unworkable, perception management was critical. He needed to show Ukrainians that the negotiations were necessary and not going to betray their interests, while showing the world that Ukraine was working in good faith toward peace, and it was the Russians being unreasonable and obstructive, while the Russians schemed to show the opposite.

So he did the expected work of a press secretary or spokesperson, putting up social media pages for the delegation, making the framework documents available to the public, writing updates, giving interviews and comments, explaining what the TCG was doing (or not doing), debunking Russian claims, defending the need for even a flawed ceasefire. Arestovych's work in the TCG seems to have been somewhat forgotten these days, given the full-scale invasion made it obsolete, but it actually made up a sizeable portion of his media output in those days.

But in addition to that, he personally attended negotiations, he's mentioned something about Kozak reacting to what he said that might mean he could speak at them, and he helped develop the unified position he voiced. Before his appointment, the delegation already seemed to regret its old policy of commenting on events only after the OSCE's statement--this was the initial agreement, but the Russian side had started breaking it, so that their version of events got out first and hijacked the discussion--but Arestovych implemented his new policy with particular aggressiveness. In his words, "in the information space, there is only one mistake - not to be in time. And then, whether they praise you or criticize you, people are already simply serving your narrative, if you managed to voice it. And if you didn’t have time, you “trudge” behind someone else’s narrative." He framed it in military terms, going on the offensive and getting inside the enemy's OODA loop, and reported with pride that by the fifth day of his tenure as advisor, their speed and quality of presentation had forced Putin's press secretary Peskov to personally intervene, and that, where Russian narratives around the TCG had previously dominated the Ukrainian media space, his constructions were starting to show up in Russian statements.

The strategy seemed to also have its hazards. In one incident that might sound familiar, in December 2020, the delegation's Facebook page initially incorrectly reported that a Ukrainian soldier had wandered across enemy lines while intoxicated and died from alcohol or drug intoxication, when it turned out the soldier had in fact been strangled. Arestovych apologized personally the next day, saying that in a technical error, he'd mixed up the version of events from the Russian side and the version to be given to media.

But his work was overall such that Podolyak defended him in the scandal, confirming that it was a technical error and calling him "absolutely competent in what he does." In a later interview, he sharply disagreed with a claim that Arestovych was only good for scandal and hype, crediting him with successfully "imposing his agenda" and rattling his opponents in a field where Russian propagandists had once "absolutely dominated." Importantly, his skills also caught the eye of Yermak.

Office of the President

There's also a lot of confusion over Arestovych's position in the OP. A September 2022 document lists Arestovych as an unpaid freelance adviser to the Office of the President, and Podolyak has stated that this has been his position from the start, and it's a technical error that official sources have called him adviser to the Head of the Office of the President.

Arestovych says he first met Yermak briefly upon his appointment to the TCG (and met Podolyak two weeks later--as the head of the OP's information policy, Podolyak was also in charge of the TCG's, but gave Arestovych basically free rein there). A month later, on December 1, 2020, Yermak appointed him an advisor on "strategic communications in the field of national security and defense".

Yermak's made his attitude toward people who insult the president quite clear, so one imagines that he must've seen considerable need for Arestovych's skills--in his words (according to Arestovych) "Well, you're such an expert on fakes, you've bred so many of them, that no one but you would know how to deal with them." He was Arestovych's direct superior and task-setter in the OP, whom Arestovych worked with daily (in comparison, before the full-scale invasion, Arestovych says he met with Zelenskyy about once a month,) while he worked with Podolyak, a fellow advisor, as more of an equal. While Arestovych has said he kept to a strictly work relationship with his bosses, he quickly made genuine friends with Podolyak--interestingly, a later comment of his suggests that he didn't like him at first, but somehow that turned into meming about them destroying patriotic consciousness together a week into his time at the OP, and let's just say that you have to be really good friends with someone before posting a picture of yourself with a gun and joking about shooting them. He also seemed to work with his old GUR friend Roman Mashovets (deputy head of the OP, in charge of national security and defense as a whole).

Arestovych's communications work encompassed coordinating between the OP and other groups, including the TCG; and between departments in his field on behalf of the OP--he cites helping mediate a conflict between the head of Ukrboronprom and the Minister of Strategic Industries. But naturally it's the public-facing work that people remember. The mysterious friend-of-a-friend Ukrainian officer from that military forum gave an uneasy assessment of Arestovych's new position--take with as many grains of salt as you think you need, but it's certainly intriguing:

Arestovich, perhaps in good faith, found himself in very bad company, and in the most unfortunate place, on public relations. Now whatever he says will be used against him. And any punctures destroy the reputation he has built up over the years. A position that is not to be envied. Time will tell if his decision to go there, albeit at the invitation of people he trusts personally, was justified. P.S.: I do not agree with his assessment of the situation and some personalities so I look at his attempt skeptically.

Because the immediate reaction to Arestovych blogging for the government was a wall of insults, accusations, shaming, threats, and memes of Lyusya the political whore. While everyone from the OP inevitably met with a wave of internet hate, Arestovych happened to have previously been a prominent member of military/volunteer circles alienated by the Zelenskyy administration's early actions (and heavily courted by Poroshenko.) There was an element of personal betrayal to the reaction. A volunteer friend replied to one of his anti-Poroshenko posts with "Lyosh, if you've been kidnapped and tortured, reply in capslock"; a good chunk of his existing following was...considerably less charitable.

The poster observed TV appearances where (in their opinion) Arestovych combined 90% of perfectly sound explaining and analysis with 10% thinly-supported attacks on the opposition. They generally seemed to think that he was destroying his reputation in his circles for the sake of unworthy leadership:

No, everything is fine with him with the level of knowledge and skills, IMHO, they just cut unsolvable tasks for him, and even change them once a week for opposite ones …

(It's worth saying, since this write-up is for English speakers who may only know his content from his obnoxious shitposting, that he comes across quite differently if you actually watch his military/political long-format videos. He is in fact capable of being professional and laying out topics in a clear engaging way and providing measured analysis in his fields of specialty and more subtly steering an argument or provoking thought. This is most of what he does! But people remember the rest of what he does a lot better!)

In countless panels, programs, and interviews, Arestovych informed about--and defended--basically everything the Zelenskyy administration did within quite a broad interpretation of "national security and defense", encompassing everything from international politics to COVID response, sometimes contradicting or downplaying things he'd said before his advisorship. And while he'd had harsh words for political figures in the past, it was never to the extent to which he went Poroshenko delenda est as an advisor. (For what it's worth, Podolyak's blogging was similar--he'd despised Poroshenko from the start, even if he was initially unimpressed by Zelenskyy, but there's a major difference in the consistency and forcefulness of his anti-Poroshenko posts pre- and post-OP.) Arestovych has talked about how he'll subsume his interests to a team's, he would've gained new information in the OP, and he said, recently, that he received some piece of information about Poroshenko before the public did, and "drew conclusions very quickly"--but regardless, it looked rather like selling out to many.

(Interestingly, he actually seemed to go on the attack against the OP's enemies in November 2020, after he was appointed to the TCG but before he was appointed to the OP, to a notably greater extent than his usual level of criticism, for example against Poroshenko and Butusov. One wonders if it was his initiative, or a trial period.)

He didn't help his reputation with his frequent scandalous statements on TV and profanity-filled arguments on social media. He said that the country should be renamed to Rus'-Ukraine, and defended accepting Afghan refugees by saying they were better educated than Ukrainians anyway. His telling a commenter who asked him to write in Ukrainian instead of Russian to go fuck himself (though he says the user was actually a troll that had been hanging around his Facebook for some time wishing death on his family) rose to the level of a parliament vote. He challenged another commenter to fight him at Bankova, only to postpone it indefinitely because it was beneath the dignity of a representative of the country on an international platform, wait until he got kicked out of the government in disgrace first.

The thing is--he's trolling. We know he's trolling. People know he's trolling. A popular theory is that he deliberately made himself into a hate lightning rod, so that enemies waste their media efforts attacking him instead of the rest of the OP. Every time he says something outrageous, social media users joke about the OP needing a diversion; one interviewer remarked to his face that people wound up discussing his statements instead of serious politics, though he denied that he was trying to distract from serious issues. Podolyak offers a slightly more dignified explanation in one of his own interviews:

Yes, Oleksiy often goes for deliberate provocations, draws out the negative, and then calmly, carefully, and subtly works with it. It may sound paradoxical, but I believe that it is Arestovych who cures our society of traditional media hysteria, giving it the opportunity to talk through difficult things like in a psychotherapist's office. And it's very difficult to take on a lot of public hype, to personally conflict with a big machine of the same "powderbots." If we fairly assess Arestovych's work in the medium term, he is definitely a positive character.

So basically: he's trolling, but in a constructive way, with the OP's blessings.

Much of the time, it's hard to figure out exactly what game he's playing. It's been long enough since the original scandals that the context and reactions are tricky to investigate (if the necessary context is even publicly known), but he's made fun of actual "insider" "expert" "analytics" Telegram channels and their abysmal success rate at guessing the OP's motives and strategy, so I won't feel too bad about throwing up my hands here instead of trying to evaluate individual incidents in earnest. On the one hand--he's talked in an older post about deliberately swearing at an interlocutor to test their reaction. He's joked about all the engagement and views he was getting from the porobots. Gordon's called him a swindler to his face live without getting a rise out of him. I don't believe that he was actually getting that mad at all those internet randos. On the other hand--his old post history on a certain august forum demonstrates that he's fully capable of getting that mad at some internet randos. Exactly when and why he started fake scandals, and when he got into real scandals, will probably remain between him and the OP for the foreseeable future. It's just clear that he's playing 5D chess, but also sometimes he eats a piece.

On the other end of the respectability spectrum, as an advisor, he did in fact give actual advice! He's talked about how, while the OP strictly observed "functional zones" when it came to what areas he could discuss, he had some say in the OP's information policy, and could advise on national security and defense, including directly to the president--and some of those meetings belied the claims that Zelenskyy was surrounded by a "warm bath". However, he said in late 2022 that "maybe only 2 or 3 or 5" items of his advice were ever accepted.

First resignation

Arestovych and Yuriy Romanenko, with whom he'd had a falling-out during the 2019 elections due to their support of opposing candidates, seemed to gradually reconcile over the course of 2021. On January 15, 2022, with the threat of Russian military escalation hanging in the air, they streamed together for the first time in years...upon which Arestovych went on an epic rant about his frustrations with the OP--they weren't accomplishing enough, the people meant to change the system were becoming part of it, he feared the country was sleepwalking into disaster. His worst fear was that Russia would invade just the Donbas, so that the rest of the country would be torn between continued apathy and finger-pointing instead of uniting, the world would continue to turn a blind eye, and Ukraine would end up like the proverbial boiled frog.

A commenter later speculated he'd get into trouble over the rant, but Arestovych answered that funnily, some people in the OP actually liked it. Instead, on January 19th, he posted to Facebook that he'd quit. Opening a treason case against Poroshenko, yet failing to detain him when he returned to Ukraine, had been the final straw for him: "I can forgive many things including personal meanness towards me (that's politics, we're all Machiavelli, cynicism, cold-settling and so on). But I can't forgive weakness."

There's a lot of theorizing over whether he had some unstated motive for leaving, and to what extent he actually left. He definitely stopped participating in the TCG; one of his former coworkers was asked about him in an interview, and lamented the fallen standards and loss of communication channel with the OP in his absence. But an anonymous OP source claimed on the day of the resignation that Arestovych didn't actually tell the OP directly or sign the corresponding documents in his ragequit, and he'd since agreed to meet with Yermak. However that meeting went, Arestovych has said he remained in active communication with the OP the whole time after he quit, and certainly, regardless of what he personally believed, he continued the OP policy of downplaying the military threat to the public all the way up to the evening of February 23rd.

But he didn't seem to plan to return to the OP. He'd pledged to go to the front himself if anything happened, and in fact made arrangements with friends before the full-scale invasion. On the morning of February 24th, he was en route to the military commisariat when a call from Yermak came, telling him the OP needed him.

In his words, there were 2000 majors in the AFU, but only one Arestovych. "Chasing a Russian tank is a pleasure, but conducting information policy and fulfilling certain assignments is a duty. And as an officer, I chose duty."

People have naturally called bullshit on that story, but one of the friends he invited actually wrote a post about their plans very early on. He ribbed Arestovych for leaving the others "orphaned", but acknowledged he was in the right place at the OP.

The next (hopefully last) post will get into that wild second advisorship stint and beyond.

#oleksiy arestovych

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