#i don't understand how you veterans deal with it

[the-way-astray]

if kotlc 10 isn't the last kotlc book, i'm throwing hands.

(ranting in the tags)

#kotlc #i can't do this anymore you guys #i don't understand how you veterans deal with it #i've only been here since when there were eight books out and i'm already so tired of wanting more of this series #praying to the kotlc gods (shannon messenger) #pleaseeeeeeeee don't make a kotlc 11 #please #and i see people that are like 'i was here since the start of the series' like omg you all. must've been through so much. #there might be a book 11 and then when that comes out shannon'll be like 'hey guys there miiiiiiiight be a book 13 actually' #'smaaaaaaaall chance if i can't wrap up the storylines' #hhhhhhhhhh i can't do this anymore #at least there's some crumbs of content to keep us floating until book 10 (hopefully the last book) #also remember the short story book that shannon's gonna do after the conclusion of the series??? #i want it so bad

[clairdelunelove]

cigarettes and exchanges

simon 'ghost' riley x reader

genre: fluff! (smoking drabble!)

warnings: slightly suggestive, cursing, smoking, suave!ghost

synopsis: ghost understands that his cigarette addiction is getting out of hand. but, in his defense, he's just never had a motive to quit! you offer to help and perhaps your new reward system will work for the lieutenant!

a.n. this could be read as a continuation to 'frosty kisses' or a standalone! and no, I typically don't like when men smoke but will I make an exception for ghost? yes. I hope you lovelies are doing well! let me know what you think about this headcanon I have for him heh! here's my kofi! <3

-

-

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been pondering about ghost’s inclination to smoke a cigarette whenever he’s stressed and how you might’ve found a better alternative– one that he craves even more.

-

another operation typically meant an increased likelihood of risking a multitude of unknowing, blind lives– an embittered fact that accompanies the line of duty he’s in. it’s a cruel contract that he’s familiar with yet the guilt never dissolves. in truth, it’s the torture of bad conscience that he can never shake off. he shoulders through resting recruits, footsteps heavy on the patchy floorboards while weaving clear of the crowd. some shift on their feet to avoid being pummeled by his powerful gait as he makes a beeline to the door. it’s assumed that such a strong reaction from the man would raise alarm but no one pays him any mind– aware of the lieutenant’s ache for solitude after the completion of a mission. whispers of his infamous smoke break settled amongst the lips of veteran recruits. and truthfully, it acts as a deliberate retreat that he wouldn’t commit to in the public eye. stepping outside and gazing into the abyss was an escape from the detached facade he gives into when he slips into a role of leadership. a position that’s necessary yet promises contempt– an emotion that not even he could run away from.  

ghost who perceives that his reliance on cigarettes is a bad habit he should break. knows that he could quit, in all honesty, since his self-discipline was so tenacious that many envied him for it. was never tempted with superficial vices that other task force members sought after. however, cigarettes are a psychological and chemical crutch that he’s been unwilling to drop. and he’s wise enough to realize that the chemicals do more harm than good to his body but it serves as a form of self-medication for him. helps him deal with wartime stress– the unyielding tension and restless nerves that disturbed his rare nights of sleep. reasons that his thoughts are clearer whenever he pulls out his lighter. he rationalizes that his incessant, troubled mind is finally hushed. lulled to rest. all he has to do is flip open that little white box and he’s instantly rewarded with the one predictable outcome in his life. 

ghost who wordlessly offers a spare cigarette to you when your figure slips beside him. his gloved fingers pinch at the small roll as he outstretches it towards you. you shake your head, muttering a gentle, “no, thank you though,” and he wittingly predicts the polite decline. there was nothing else you could’ve requested from him at this moment. food, entertainment, and rest were all found within the base– not outside. he rocks back on his heels. your tendency to keep him company is a habit you’re guilty of. not that he minds. recalls a similar scene that unfolded the night before the new year. and he’s aware that your lingering is intentional; as deliberate as the giggles that he manages to pull out of you during these softer times. the companionship sparks a fervor in him. one that he’s compelled to cultivate and cherish with you. 

ghost who rumbles, “your life expectancy just went way up then, pup,” due to your unwillingness to smoke. it’s a praise. don’t engage in the faults he has. you’re too pure for that. his heavy-lidded eyes spot the tinge of a smile dancing on your lips on behalf of the nickname. satisfaction burns within him. possessiveness claws at him. needs to get his mind off of the strong emotions. grasping at the lower edge of his balaclava, he tugs the darkened fabric up and neatly folds it over the slant of his nose. it’s not the first time he’s been partially unmasked with you. presumes that you wouldn’t actively question his identity and throw him into a crisis. yet, your curiosity magnifies to unveil the enigma that is simon ‘ghost’ riley, your lieutenant, who unknowingly causes your stomach to excitedly flip and churn with every interaction. 

ghost who turns away from you to place the cigarette in his mouth. it balances atop his full lips, a position so enticing that you’re willing to trade places with the inanimate object, and ultimately quell the yearning. his other hand fondles the box of cigarettes. “you can always replace the cigarettes with a new reward system, ya know,” you suggest. your voice is light, dipping on the last syllable, and he understands that you mean well. yet, he raises a dark eyebrow while flicking on his engraved lighter. connecting the cigarette to the end of it, there’s a satisfying burn before he deeply inhales. a cloud of misty smoke swirls around you even if he shifts away. the stench intermingling with your sweet fragrance and lingering. a sort of imprint that brands you as his. your gaze flits over to him to eagerly trace the fair, sharp jawline that’s visible without the guise, and you sputter, “like having something sweet. I heard people quit smoking by chewing bubblegum or having lollipops.”  

ghost who curiously prods, “somethin’ as sweet as you?” and the idle thumping in your chest accelerates into hammering when his gaze locks onto yours. his teasing is too sudden. you stiffen at the inviting drawl of his voice and the mannerism is one that he’s too familiar with. his eyes skim the soft features of your face, noting your skittish behavior, and deems it necessary to compose himself a bit. doesn’t wish to scare you off. but he’s pleasantly surprised to hear you ask, “you think I’m sweet, lieutenant?” his gloved fingers lift the cigarette to his lips again to take another long drag, “oh, I think we both know the answer to that, pup.” another mention of the nickname– another wave of heat rushing to your core. the statement throws you into a frenzy because his deep-set eyes seem more fitting for the bedroom and the revelation has you internally scolding yourself for the stray path your mind takes. 

ghost who’s unaware that it’s his turn to be as motionless as a marble statue when you edge closer. speculated that the rancid cigarette smoke would dampen that sugary aroma that invades his senses when you’re in his proximity. it doesn’t. just promotes the stark difference since it’s a specific scent he traces back to you. always causes his skin to tingle whenever he catches a whiff. a curse abruptly leaves his lips when he’s broken out of his reverie. your hand settles on the center of his chest, a tender touch that compels him to trail his gaze to your face. makes no effort to halt your movements. why should he when you’re the root of all his desires? immediately, his brain conjures up an arrogant remark; a natural reaction to his usual encounters. however, when he drags his eyes to yours and perceives that your usually bright eyes are hooded– he’s silent. 

ghost who allows you to push yourself up on your toes and pluck the cigarette from his mouth. doesn’t even manage to get another drag of it. never finds himself craving for it once it’s taken from him. instead, he’s fixed to the spot while you stare at his lips, revealing a small scar blending in with a muted shade of pink. your thumb gingerly brushes against the meager feature. a detail that is so ardently ghost. the rather concealed scar ignites something affectionate between the two of you. a shared secret that he’s let only you uncover. you slide your fingers underneath the sharp curve of his jaw and the gentle touch seizes his attention. pressing close to the juncture of his neck, you murmur, “let's exchange your cigarette for something sweeter, yeah?”   

ghost who stifles a groan of satisfaction when your glossy lips finally press against his cheek. warmth blossoms in his chest. fiery sparks, a discerned emotion that he thought he had lost, set him alight. for once, he’s rejoicing at the mere coincidence of being partially unmasked. and when he conceived that this overwhelming rush was fulfilled, you stunned him again by pressing another delicate kiss dangerously close to the corner of his lips– directly where his scar was. “a prize whenever you don’t smoke,” you propose while pulling away. he curses a resounding, “fuck.” it was dizzying. a singular glance was all you needed to discover that he’s completely flushed from your touches. his breathing is uneven too, teetering on what some would call desperate. drawn out and amplified. however, if that’s what he is– for you– then so be it. ghost was free-falling. plunging into another bad habit. a dependence that he’s afraid is more addicting and chronic than nicotine. you.  

ghost who hums deliciously low, “playing a dangerous game here.” his voice invokes a shiver within you. a sweltering heat crawls up your face, lingering at the uppermost part of your cheeks. the vowels dripped from his tongue like honeyed venom and you caught it. stored it, like it was fundamental to your existence. before you can withdraw, a strong hand encloses around your wrist. the touch is sure and solid– undoubtedly his. and when you peer at him, he’s admiring you through thick, pale lashes. his eyes are like silvered stone, cutting through all your defenses as his focus darts along your face. mapping– no– sketching out your softest features for the sake of his pleasure. the pleasure of admiring art. 

ghost who then raises the hand that’s gripping the box of cigarettes, notably to gain your attention, and tosses it behind his shoulder. the cardboard carton falls to the floor with a muffled thud. and in the span of a couple seconds, ghost completely eradicates his dependence on cigarettes. the promise of something sweeter causing him to reconsider and amend for all the time he could’ve spent smothered in your syrupy kisses. he leans to graze his lips against a sensitive spot in your neck, his nose nudging at the tantalizing crevice of skin. without the barrier of his mask, you’re hyper-aware of the greedy nip that ghost leaves and he’s awarded with a breathy exhale escaping your glossy lips. anticipates the way your knees buckle but he easily steadies you. he hums, dark and encouraging, at the receptive noise. fancies hearing it regularly. surely reserved just for him. you distinctly sense a corner of his lips tug upward once they’re on your neck again and he questions, “gonna give me ‘nother prize now, sweetheart?” 

#simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost #simon riley #call of duty x reader #call of duty #simon riley imagine #cod x reader #simon ghost riley imagine #simon ghost riley drabble #ghost x you #ghost cod

[yandere-daydreams]

Thinking about sex doll Scaramouche the scrapped concept and Wanderer the repurposed Sumeru line, and I bring you Kabukimono the unfinished doll. A ScaraWan model that didn't get all the code written up in him properly or completely. He has the IQ of a roomba. He has no idea what his functions or roles should be, them not being programmed in. He has no concept of how strong he is, oftentimes accidentally grabbing objects and shattering them by accident. His owner/maintenance technician is unsure if the robot even understands that it's a robot, or if it's trying to become a human. Kabukimono showing up with a freshly bleeding heart in his hand beaming like "Am I human now? :D"

tw - implied violence, unhealthy relationships, obsessive behavior, disturbing themes.

ahhhhhfdlsjdkjslsjfdlsk the current wanderer lore is that he was formerly a failed cross-over model between the harbingers and the shogunate line who was then mellowed out and released with sumeru's more academic characters, so i can absolutely believe that in the mess of his development and production, there were a few models made that just,,, weren't finished, for lack of a kinder way to put it. he's got an incomplete backstory with plot holes you could drive a plane through, clothes that don't quite fit with the harbinger's cold-war-chic aesthetic or the shogunate's refined elegance, and most of his functions were made, well, functional. you're told all that up-front when you find a badly mangled model at a warehouse sale, but you don't care. he's got that beat-up alley-cat charm, and as a veteran companion-droid technician, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you didn't bring him home.

he works better than you expect him to, despite everything you've heard. his base programming (things like 'humans need air to breathe and breathing is good' and 'don't burn down the kitchen when asked to pour a glass of water') is in-tact, and he still has his verbal faculties, even if he does still get tripped-up on names every now and then. he spends the first few weeks following you around like a lost puppy, watching you fix up other androids and go about your daily routines with parted lips and wide eyes, but once he settles in, he's more of a housepet than a companion droid, constantly either lingering at your side or sitting at your feet, never farther than across the room. sometimes, he tries to help around your workshop, but he doesn't exactly have the gentle touch you need to deal with something as delicate as androids. you've found him elbow-deep in the wiringof other teyvat droids before, and well he has yet to do any damage you can't repair, you'd rather not catch him staring blankly at a nearly disassembled ayato with oil soaking into the clothes him again.

the only things you're genuinely worried about are his self-awareness protocols. he doesn't seem to understand the difference between androids and humans (despite having watched you take apart and put together more than a few of the former), and some of the phrases he uses just don't align with the lines his more official counterpart would spout when given the same prompt, occasionally referring to a 'mother' or a blacksmith he can't remember the name of. you've tried to correct him, to pull out your decade-old anatomy charts and drill a few haphazard biology lessons into his metal skill, but there's only so much you can do to change the ones and zeroes that make up his consciousness. there's not much you can do, but still, you'll wish you'd done more when he comes back from a routine errand with something red and pulpy cupped in his hands, his eyes bright and a wide smile plastered across his lips - when he asks, in the sweet, oblivious tone you've never been able to hold anything against, if this is all he needs to be human, to be with you permanently.

when it becomes clear that his programming was just a little more faulty than anyone thought to tell you.

#sex doll au #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere genshin impact #yandere wanderer #yandere scaramouche

[autistichalsin]

Both Karlach and Halsin are buff capable adults with strong morality, but inside THEY ARE KIDS FULL OF JOY TO BE ALIVE IN THE WORLD FULL OF WONDERS as Oak Father Intended

So strong, so fragile, as life itself LET THEM LOVE LET THEM BE

GOD BUT THIS PART.

They're adults, traumatized, with both having experienced the worst the world can offer, having their freedom and autonomy denied to them, socially isolated. Both have the Outlander background. Both lost their families, both are war veterans.

Yet they both are still so full of love and joy. Halsin is unable to show it the way he wants to when we meet him, while Karlach never wavers from it, yet at the end they're both able to show who they are. How they love LIFE itself more than anything, how they're so full of kindness and compassion and love to protect the weak.

Karlach isn't certain she wants kids at first, but Halsin is- yet when you bring the idea up to her, she warms to it at once. She also teases the idea of getting a "really mean goat." You know who loves all life, all animals? Halsin.

If you bring Karlach to the love dryad and are asked where she'll be in 10 years, you can say "worshipping Selune"; Karlach responds that she's nice, but Karlach is more of a sunshine girl herself.

Sunshine.

What is Halsin's quest about again? Bringing something back to a certain cursed land?

... Right. SUNLIGHT. "If the sun shines on this place once more..."

Sunlight is essential for life. Essential for plants to grow. Halsin wants to infuse life and light back into the Shadow-Cursed Lands, and Karlach alludes to the god of sunlight as being perhaps the only one she'd consider becoming a follower of.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? If Karlach asks Halsin for stories, he mentions how while everyone wants the most exciting chapters, he spends plenty of time hibernating in bear form. Karlach gets excited, saying "sleep AND adventure! Maybe I'll come back as a bear in some future life!"

IF THAT ISN'T SYMBOLISM, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS!

Both are protective of those who need it most. Both have a great deal of empathy. Karlach is more childish in many ways than Halsin, but this could help him let his playful side out more, while Halsin's maturity could help ground Karlach when she needs it. Karlach is always raring to go for a good fight, never straying from what needs to be done, while Halsin is more pragmatic and able to understand when a fight will accomplish nothing. They offset each other in so many good ways while retaining the same core personality- warm, loving, full of life and care and compassion.

Both are touch-starved; you can see how Halsin reacts to being hugged in the epilogue, stating that he always needs a hug and if he ever refuses one, to assume he's been replaced by a doppelganger, while Karlach went without for TEN YEARS. Both are socially isolated, Halsin having been made a sex slave, lost his family, endured the Shadow Curse, and then forced into a leadership role, while Karlach lost her family too, was dragged into hell to fight for ten years where none of her "comrades" would have been worth talking to, and now faces a terminal illness on top of that.

In all the party banters in the Shadow-Cursed Lands, it's KARLACH who shows the most concern for Halsin's mental state, who is horrified when he talks about what he witnessed and how it still affects him. A soft "poor man" in one, and a "stay strong, bear man, we're still here" in another. Karlach is able to see that just once, Halsin wants to be soothed the way he does for others. And similarly, it's Halsin to tell her he "will not try to soothe her with gilded words" but that he "is still here" for her when Karlach finally realizes the truth of her impending death, because Halsin can see that in that moment, Karlach doesn't want to be told it'll be okay; she wants to be told that she isn't alone, that her presence, for however short a time it'll linger, will be cherished by those close to her. Instinctively, they understand these needs the other has at their worst, darkest moments.

I just love them a lot, okay?

#halsin #halsin silverbough #karlach #karlach cliffgate #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #furioso

[charliehoennam]

aftermath.

A/N: nobody asked for this, but all I've seen is Will smut (which I totally love, don't get me wrong) but I need some vulnerable Will

Pairing: Will Miller x f!reader

Warnings: grief, mourning, sad!will, mentions of death, mentions of Will's military past and Tom's funeral

One of the things you've always admired about Will is his strength. He was always the one to put on a brave face and push on. The captain in him had the duty of moving forward and completing whatever mission was at hand, whether it was getting his team to the landing zone or grocery shopping day at home.

It was that very same strength he possessed that got him through the darkest times in his life.

Losing his war veteran grandfather, losing his comrades in combat or to the haunting PTSD that they tried to chase away with substance abuse.

Before you came into his life, before he realized that he was lost in the same fog of that purgatory of PTSD, shutting his emotions out is the only thing he knew. After all that time, he came to believe it was easier than having to deal with them.

It just wasn't a priority; a moment of tears he refused to share with anyone anywhere other than sat naked and alone on the shower floor.

Tom wasn't the first friend he'd lost, but it doesn't mean it made losing him any easier.

It was easy for him to plaster a smile and bury his grief deep down until he felt it was time to unbury it and mourn.

Getting to that point of self-awareness was a victory in itself.

It took so much patience and love and pain, not only on his behalf but yours as well, to help him to understand what he was really struggling with.

He hadn't realized it had gotten so uncontrollable until the incident at Publix - the grand revelation of the weapon he could be, once shred of his humanity, provided the cathartic acceptance of the fact that he needed help.

Upon federal investigation, the story they told was that Tom had been shot and killed in a tragic mugging incident on their consultation trip. Just a boys' night out gone bad.

It wasn't too hard to believe, given they were 5 foreigners in a country that wasn't theirs. The heat from the Feds didn't last long. Thanks to Santiago's few but faithful contacts, that investment was quickly brought to an end.

It's barely 6 a.m. and you're stood in the kitchen making coffee, still processing how this all happened.

Your black dress is simple but elegant and modest against your body. Despite the itchy fabric, you can feel the early morning chill soaking through.

The dripping of the coffee maker lures you into a whirlwind of thoughts. You watch the droplets of dew form on the kitchen window against the cloudy sky which threatens to rain.

You start to second guess the toast when it pops up in the toaster. You're not the slightest bit hungry and you're positive Will won't be either, but you have to try.

He hasn't eaten right in the past couple days. You didn't say anything, but you've noticed the few bites he'd given his food and the way he'd pick at it.

He should've been ready and downstairs by now, so you decide to go up and check on him.

Moving forward is hard for most people, but for Will, it's what keep the pain at bay. The problem is when he stops.

Like a tornado, he's left with the screaming silence and the damage it left in it's wake.

Now that he's home, the mission of bringing Tom home is complete, the hard truth that his friend and mentor is gone has begun to sink in.

You gently knock on the door as you reach your shared bedroom.

"Honey, do you want any help?"

"I'm good, sweetheart. I'll be right out."

You can hear him sniffle despite his attempt to sound as normal as possible. Unconvinced, you turn the knob and open the door.

He's sat on the edge of the bed wearing a simple black suit as he looks back over his shoulder at you with a Marine coin in hand, a gift from Tom when Will confessed about his therapy sessions.

You aren't too surprised to see he changed out of the formal military blue suit he had out on earlier.

The ribbons, the medals, the badges... He couldn't put them on without feeling the crushing and staining weight of guilt.

"Lat minute outfit change?"

The corner of your lips curl in an attempt to smile, hoping to cheer him up with a bit of tease.

"I was gonna wear my dress blues, but..." he trails off for a moment to swallow hard. "Just didn't feel right."

Without a word, you quietly walk over and sit beside him. You're not sure what he needs right now, but you don't want him to feel alone.

"Black is more flattering if you ask me," you speak up.

His beard twitches as he attempts to smile. He knows you just want to help him feel better. Yet all he can do is stare down at the gold coin.

"Five times... Five times. Five close calls. And he survived them all. He didn't deserve to go out like that. He just wanted to help his family."

You fight back tears as you listen to him with an arm wrapped his back as you press your cheek to his shoulder.

"I told Santi to get him in. I said I'd go if Tom was in. Tom didn't even want to go in the first place. He didn't-"

There's a crack in his voice which he catches it in his throat to compose himself. He sniffles letting a tear cascade down his cheek only to wipe it away quickly, hoping you hadn't seen it.

"This isn't on you, Will."

He nods although you both know deep inside that he won't stop blaming himself.

"When you told me you were a marine, I knew the risks that came with that, Will. Every knock on the door had my heart racing. But I decided to stay with you because I love you. There wasn't a person on earth or a God in the sky that was gonna tell me otherwise. I knew the risks and I took 'em anyways because not having you would've hurt more... I don't understand how fate works other than we all end up the same. What I do know is that all we can do is love our close ones and cherish the good memories you have of them."

With a tearful and silent nod, he lowers his head and rests it against your chest. His arms lock around your waist as he surrenders to the tears in your embrace.

The tears quietly trickle down your cheeks as you listen to him finally breaking down.

With your lips pressed against his golden hair, you hold him in your arms and stroke the hair on the back of his neck to soothe him for as long as he needs.

All you can do is hold him through it and he couldn't be more thankful to have you in such a vulnerable moment after having faced them on his own for so many years.

Just the feeling of not being alone was overwhelming enough, but to have you holding him and reminding him of the things that are easy to ignore in grief give him hope.

Although he feels he's coming apart, he knows that he'll have the strength he's always had.

It's different now. It's not the strength to bury and forget; it's the strength to heal.

With a sigh of relief after a long, vulnerable moment, he pulls away from you and nods, mentally assuring himself that he's alright.

Upon arriving at the church, you're greeted by Molly so you offer your deepest condolences due to the circumstances. Just as Will, you find that the guys have all opted to wear normal black suits instead of the formal military uniform and you wonder if it's for the same reason.

"Sorry for that," he sniffles wiping his eyes as he tries to regain his composure, swallowing hard with guilt. "We should get going... I don't wanna be late."

You remind him that there is no need to apologize and that he can take the time to splash some water on his face to help him recollect before leaving.

Frankie doesn't say a word other than to Molly and the girls, apologizing for their loss. Throughout the priest's religious ceremony of easing words, Benny's apathetic eyes are glued to Tom's casket set in front of the church between his military portrait and a beautiful arrangement of white flowers. During Will's heartfelt eulogy, Santiago keeps his head lowered as the guilt consumes him.

The grift and sadness during the wake only follow and weigh heavier during the long walk to the gravesite, lingering among the guests of the funeral like a dark cloud. It's only reflected in depths by the light rain pitter-pattering all around.

The military traditions at the funeral leave a bitter tinge of irony in the boys as they watch Tom's casket lowering into the ground.

Tess's happy big doey eyes are now swollen and red as she cries under her mother's arm, hugging the folded flag as if it were her dad, while Molly holds her other and youngest daughter under the other arm.

Looking over at Will, you see that he's trying his hardest to keep his strong facade as well as the boys.

You slide your hand into his and whisper to remind him he's not alone and doesn't have to feel alone.

With a gentle squeeze to your hand, he nods.

"You with me?"

"I'm with you."

You and Will - as well as the guys and Tom's family - are the last to leave, reminding Molly that you're more than willing to help with anything.

Will, however, lingers a moment to speak to her private and tells her about the fund. You can tell from her reaction, she's genuinely surprised and thankful, relieved to know that she'll be able to pay for the funeral.

Having called your boss the previous day to let them know you wouldn't be going to work due to the funeral, you take the rest of the day off to recover from the overwhelming day after the funeral.

The drive home is quiet save for the rain against the car and the windshield, echoing into the vehicle which you insisted on driving to give Will some mental ease. He didn't put up a fight. He was quite relieved you'd offered.

In spite of being eager to understand how he's doing, you refuse to burden him with constant questions and decide to respect his mourning process. So, you keep a hand on his thigh to remind you're in this together.

He doesn't mind it at all. In fact, he is grateful for your respect and your thoughtfulness. His hand rests over yours and doesn't leave until you have to pull your hand back to turn the steering wheel, but it finds it's way back onto his leg, warm fully welcomed by his engulfing hand.

As you're undressing in your room, Will's hand catches yours while you're unzipping your dress.

"Thanks... I don't know about you, but I'd say this weather is perfect cuddling weather," you share letting the dress hang loosely off your shoulders.

Will smiles shyly as if you'd read his mind and locks his arms around your waist.

"I couldn't agree more."

#william miller #will miller #william ironhead miller #will ironhead miller #will miller x reader #will miller x you #will miller x y!n #will ironhead miller headcanon #will ironhead miller x reader #william ironhead miller fanfiction #triple frontier fanfiction #triple frontier imagines #charlie hunnam

[robby-bobby-tommy]

Okay, I'm obsessed with the lore.... So here's some of me theories/stuff I've noticed. It's gonna be rambling in it's worst, cuz I'm way too excited.

Firstly, let's welcome Madagio! I don't know what's up with him, but here's some info we know:

- he's from some island who is connected to Quesadilla through some system.

- he can travel through servers.

- cats are his eyes and ears.

So with this out of the way, here's some of my thoughts.

- Body language -

Honestly, it's not something important, but I really love how cc! Fit uses body language to convey his character. q! Fit doesn't sprint much, cuz he knows one misjudged step, one unnoticed trap and he's dead. He looks around, afraid of every lighting, every strange noise. He looks at cats cuz how are they even here, if not every person can survive here?

Madagio himself very reserved. He doesn't move much, showing us a difference between him and Fit.

- Roses -

Boy oh boy, do I have something to say. Despite obvious connections to Pac, recently there was another moment with exactly this kind of roses. At Philza's stream on 29th of December, at one point Ramon came to Titan and started to give away these rose bushes to some eggs and Phil. It might be a stretch, but it was very strange. Ramon explained that he gave away the roses, cuz he saw one in Chayanne's arm. But with this added context, I think Ramon's admin kinda hinted at this rule. Like the rose bush is a symbol of connection and love/trust. Fit loves and trusts Pac, Ramon, Chay and Lullah, and Phil too. I might be insane, but I adore this kind of symbolism. The roses show us who he has connections to. And now we understand what's at stake for Fit.

It's not only Ramon, who's in danger. Phil, his kids and Pac (probs Tubbo and Sunny too, but they didn't get roses) are also in the middle of crossfire. Madagio knew that it's in human nature for us to connect and getting attached to others even if told otherwise. Contractor knew that Fit won't be able to cheat or escape the deal, cuz he knew the veteran will have a lot at stake. He made this contract unavoidable. I love it sm.

- Music -

Since my post about Fit and his tragedy, I believe that a lot of decisions made about videos/lore streams are intentional. Like, back in a day, when we saw first dream, we heard "Étranger au Paradise" ("Stranger in Paradise "). And this song like fits Fit (pun not intended) like a friggin glove. Cuz even still, Fit feels like a stranger, undeserving this the heaven that is Quesadilla island. For example literally today he said smt along the lines of "What did I do to deserve a son like him[Ramon]?". He loves people around him, yet he can't show it, when everyone does it quite easily. I think Stranger in Paradise can be seen also in light of relationships. Like Fit considers Pac better, he loves him, but doesn't deserve his love. Agh

So why am I saying this? Well, you see. Cc! Fit uses a few songs to use before cinematic. And today he used "We'll meet again". And there's no connection, right? But what if it's a hint to contractor? Fit'll have to meet Madagio. Veteran has no idea when or where. But he knows they'll meet again some sunny day. Like, mb it's a stretch, but I really enjoy finding this connections. To this point cc! Fit was very intentional, so mb I have something here.

- Mon Dieu éternel, je te prie -

(sorry for probably butchering it, but anyway)

Well, now I have the most unimpressive and obvious theory, that leads to more interesting one.

During this stream it wasn't confirmed that contractor is a god, but there are a lot of hints. His name being an anagram to "I am a God" (Thank you, Tumblr user, who noticed it), he can't be hury, but is able to travel through the servers, and his first words to Fit are literally a rephrased "be not afraid", that is usually connected to angels.

Also his unusual connection to cats, that are his "extensions" Doesn't seem humain at all. Yet it isn't confirmed so idk.

Now, Black Concrete is closely tied to Cucurevil and can have bad effect on a person. The only people, who interacted with it and weren't affected at all, were Fit and Philza. Why? What if it's because they're protected by Gods? Like, fitza have a lot parallels in their lore, and mb it also hints at devine nature of Madagio? Rose protects Phil and his close ones out of kindness (I guess) and sends birds to cheer up her protège or show her support. Madagio literally does the same thing. But he sends cats not to show support, but to remind that he is always there, he sees and hears everything. Does it prove my theory? No, I guess. But it gives smt to think about.

- End -

At the end we see Fit waking up (smt that we've never seen before) and sees a cat. They look each other in the eyes and veteran convulsively shakes his head, refusing to something implied. Now, I'll be honest, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, and I didn't really understand what he refused to? Was he saying he didn't need contractor's help? Idk. And this whole montage of moon, cat, and Madagio is very interesting, but I can't put my finger on it.

After browsing for a literal second, I have some ideas. Moon typically represents the rhythm of time, as it symbolizes the cycle. So maybe Contractor reminds Fit how little time he has. Like, time's running out. Cats, though, have a lot of different meanings, but I guess the most important to this case are freedom and mystery. Madagio is free and mysterious, so ig it fits.

- And just my thoughts ig -

God, i loved it so much. Fit's lore is subtle yet very important and interesting. It shows a character and builds on it so much, while explaining the world itself. Guuugh I love it so much.

And here's just some screens that shows how much Fit has grown.

He is no longer doing everything for himself only. Now he cares for others, breaking a simple rule made by contractor.

P. S.

I feel like this picture rn

#qsmp #qsmp fitmc #q fit #qsmp philza #q philza #qsmp ramón #qsmp chayanne #qsmp tallulah #qsmp theory #qsmp rambles #qsmp ramon #qsmp contractor #qsmp madagio #fitmc lore #qsmp pac #q pac #i said it before and i'll say it again #i am obsessed and see stuff in nothing so I'm not 100% true #but q! fit just does smt to my brain #also i guess ptsd is confirmed so yay #and the threats posed by madagio are way too hard on my boy. he knows fit would get attached #“try as i might never will understand it #love is for mortals and fools.“ its literally their song!! #also i personally hate this name cuz I'm confused how to write it. i literally had to check thrice if i wrote it correctly

[kwanzaa-wakanda]

Why you don't know anyone who celebrates Kwanzaa

"Because no one cares"

"Because it's a sham holiday made by a con artist"

"Because it's dumb"

"Because no True African would ever celebrate Kwanzaa."

These are all bad faith arguments. They aren't meant to actually explain why, and do more to devalue the holiday as well as people who celebrate it or at least respect it.

So, why don't you know people who celebrate Kwanzaa? After all, you have so many Black friends, or maybe even you are Black yourself, shouldn't Kwanzaa be everywhere?

This post is a bit long, and some points are explored more deeper than others, but I think this will provide an explanation that's actually pretty fair and common sense. The short version:

Kwanzaa is a newer, anti-consumerist holiday that does not appeal to every single Black person. And that's okay!

1. Kwanzaa is a newer holiday.

Kwanzaa is only about 60 years old. It's not going to be as popular as Christmas. Other holidays, say Veteran's Day, Memorial Day, or Martin Luther King Jr. Day are about as old or even younger than Kwanzaa, so why are they celebrated more widely? Well, it helps that they're all federal holidays with a state structure to back them up. Individual people can celebrate those holidays, but they don't have to, institutions celebrate them for us by giving us time off work and making a public statement (maybe a donation or two). Other than that, those holidays are largely upheld by community events, just like Kwanzaa (more on this later).

The types of family traditions we associate with Christmas take generations to build. Even other older holidays like Mother's Day don't have any real traditions inherently associated with them--we all give our moms a gift but beyond that, everyone engages with it differently.

New holidays need time to catch on. Institutional structures help speed that process along, but Kwanzaa doesn't really have that. So it's going to be slower than others in terms of attracting people.

2. Kwanzaa is anti-consumerist inherently.

In America, consumerism makes up a very large part of how people engage in holidays. Note that I'm not saying "people only celebrate other holidays for consumerist reasons", I am saying that a lot of the driving forces that 'remind' us to take holidays seriously in the US are market forces. We're inundated with advertisements, sales, and decorations that help create a 'feeling' of the holiday (be it Christmas, Valentine's Day, Halloween, etc) which also make it easier to engage with the holiday. We can get the supplies we need at the store. If we don't have plans then there's probably a business throwing a party around that time to keep us entertained. Gift-giving and feast preparation is expressed through buying products en masse so we prepare financially. Holiday specific media sculpts our collective understanding of the holiday's themes even if we don't engage directly.

Kwanzaa, as an explicitlyanti-consumerist holiday, doesn't lend itself to that level of cultural zeitgeist in the US. People exchange gifts and decorate places for Kwanzaa, but commerce during Kwanzaa is typically kept within Black communities through dealing directly with (small) Black Owned businesses. Given that most corporations in the US are white owned, there's very little reason for the market structure to incentive our continued engagement in Kwanzaa. The passive acknowledgement that it's a holiday that exists is the most we can really hope for.

Imagine Halloween without candy sales, Spirit Halloween stores, Halloween parties or costume nights at our favorite restaurants and bars. Imagine no horror movies coming out in October! In a world like that, I and many other people would still celebrate Halloween, but it wouldn't be as easy, and a lot of people probably wouldn't acknowledge it at all, because it isn't as easy.

Kwanzaa explicitly resists the market forces that help holidays stay in our daily lives. We all value our holidays beyond those forces, but we can't deny the very heavy role they play. We can argue that such market forces are morally neutral or even good, but not in this post--whatever your view of holiday consumerism, it's critical to understand that Kwanzaa was organized specifically for people who don't appreciate such consumerism.

3. Kwanzaa does not appeal to all Black people equally.

I think this is one of the hardest points for people both within and outside the community to grasp. The holiday is for Black people, and is meant to appeal to as broad a sampling of Black people as possible. That doesn't mean it will appeal to everyone, though.

The target audience for Kwanzaa is Black people, regardless of nationality, who believe in a shared political unity, heritage, and cultural engagement of all Black people regardless of nationality.

Thing is, not all Black people believe in or value those things. Not all Black people are Pan-Africanist, Afrocentrist, or Black Nationalist, or any other Negritude philosophy. These philosophies are widespread in politics and scholarship, but outside of those dimensions of life engagement with them gets complicated.

You may have heard that "no Africans celebrate Kwanzaa" this is largely true because Africans live in families and communities where their African heritage is already affirmed through other means, including other holidays. Kwanzaa therefore doesn't appeal to them, even if they do believe in all it's themes. Such people may go to Kwanzaa events if invited, but they likely wouldn't hold them for themselves.

Many in the African Diaspora understand their identity most immediately by the region they settled in, and only have a distant sense of African identity. They don't deny being African or having African heritage, but they see being Caribbean, or Brazilian, or American as more relevant. Kwanzaa therefore doesn't appeal to them as it's not specific enough.

Kwanzaa is not closed to any Black demographic and actively encourages all of us to celebrate it. But not all of us will find it appealing.

I would compare Kwanzaa to a holiday like Easter--its a Christian holiday meant to appeal to all Christians equally. But if you aren't church-going and have no children in the family, you probably don't celebrate Easter to any meaningful extent, or your engagement is so personal that it isn't considered very mainstream or traditional.

The point I'm trying to make is: holidays aren't guaranteed to appeal to everyone in their target demographic. Though the reasons why diverge, not every Christian celebrates Easter, not every Black person celebrates Kwanzaa.

4. Communal Kwanzaa celebration is more popular than in-home, but that also carries some drawbacks to it.

Whenever people interested in celebrating Kwanzaa ask me how to get started, I often tell them to look into community celebrations. They're usually put on by churches (perhaps even mosques), community centers, cultural activity groups, or political groups. And therein lies the problem--if you don't live in close proximity to that type of Black community, or the community is invisiblized, then even if there are communal Kwanzaa celebrations to check out you probably won't know about them.

You can't just ask a random Black person about a Kwanzaa event, typically. My advice is to tell people to check out a Black bookstore (and, if available, an African cultural store or an Afro spiritual store). The types of people organizing Kwanzaa events are usually those deeply enmeshed in cultural and political Black discourses, particularly those that affirm an African heritage. But such people aren't found everywhere. In my experience, you can find such people and spaces in most major cities, and so a Kwanzaa celebration probably isn't too far away either. Everywhere else, though...

The only other option to find Kwanzaa celebrations, in my experience, are through Black student clubs in colleges. Not all of them do Kwanzaa activities due to many factors (cost, timing, interest, etc), but my undergrad college did and I know that others throughout the country do. However, such activities may not be open to the public (again, for varying reasons -- cost, timing, interest, college policy...).

When people ask about personal celebration, they usually ask about in-home celebration, treating community celebrations or celebrations in schools as less serious or legitimate. Kwanzaa in general is itself rare, but the idyllic in-home celebration is even rarer -- I myself was raised engaging in Kwanzaa almost entirely through community rather than in-home celebrations (though I started doing in-home for myself in recent years).

---

How, then, should we treat people who celebrate Kwanzaa, or even the non-Black people who don't celebrate it but acknowledge it as a valid holiday?

Honestly, I don't get why that has to be a question. Sure, it's a very marginal holiday, but it's also harmless to treat it respectfully and try and make room in your life in case you ever come across someone who does celebrate it.

I made this post because I often see this idea that people were "tricked" about Kwanzaa. I fail to see what harm has transpired. I don't get why people use their lack of awareness of Kwanzaa or Black communities that celebrate it as a "gotcha" that proves Kwanzaa is a scheme. When I do try to understand the logic underlying this, I come back to this idea that holidays and cultures have to earn respect and validation, that being included in our American idea of "Holiday Time" requires that holidays have a certain number of people we already respect, whom would be offended otherwise.

But that isn't a perspective that I share. I can't say how many people need to celebrate a holiday in America before I stop thinking it an insult or a lie that said holiday be included next to Christmas in a holiday greeting; the number doesn't exist because I don't hold Christmas or Hannukah in so high esteem. I value Christmas in as much as I recognize other people value it, the same is true of Hannukah and Yule (and even the pagan witches I've known didn't celebrate Yule). To me, the only thing one needs to be worthy of consideration as one of The Holidays is to simply be celebrated by people around this time of year.

#kwanzaa #kwanza #i spell it both ways when I tag cuz I know a lot of people get it wrong but the extra a is right #black culture #black community #happy holidays

[buddiebeginz]

I wanted to bring up something I haven't seen anyone else talk about recently and that's the fact that Oliver and Ryan are two (presumably) straight actors who are playing two characters who will likely come out as queer soon. The reason I bring this up is because in the past I've seen people hate on straight actors who play queer roles. Saying that lgbtq roles should always go to lgbtq actors and that it's not right for straight actors to play those parts. As someone who is bisexual I strongly disagree with this. While I absolutely think we need more queer rep both on an off screen I think roles should always go to whoever is best for the part. I don't want to live in a world where actors are required to disclose their sexuality before they can't even go up for a part. Plus this kind of thinking also gives people on social media motivation to attack actors who haven't disclosed their sexuality (if you know the show Heartstopper you likely know what I'm talking about).

Like I get that a lot of the discourse around this kind of stuff comes from a good place. From people just wanting to make sure that our stories are being told correctly and with care and also wanting to see people who truly understand those stories play those parts. And also to see queer actors get opportunities they often don't get because even our stories get told by straight actors sometimes.

Still as an older millennial I've been watching queer media for years and years. Some of the best lgbtq media I've watched had straight actors playing gay roles. Queer as Folk is one of my all time favs. Most of the cast were straight but the show runners/writers were gay so the stories never felt disingenuous. I also never felt like the cast was just playing a part for a paycheck. They always felt like they were trying to tell these stories with as much care as possible, in fact it feels like they cared about their time on that show in some ways even more than a lot of their other roles.

I can't imagine anyone else playing Buck or Eddie besides Oliver and Ryan. They are what make Buddie so captivating and the biggest reason why we are all so invested. Chemistry like theirs is like lightning in a bottle it doesn't come along on every show and it wouldn't be there if they didn't care about the stories they were telling.

I know that most of the Buddie fandom wouldn't hate on Oliver and Ryan but I just needed to rant about this because I'm sure I'll see people bring this up at some point on twitter when this storyline starts to unfold. I just wish people would realize that an actor doesn't have to live an experience to tell it well that's what the job is. And you can tell when Oliver in particular talks about the show how much it matters to him that he tells Buck's story with authenticity even more so now that Buck is likely to be coming out.

As someone who is bi I can't tell you how important it will be if when that happens. Having a character like Buck who is a little older and fits into a lot of the heteronormative stereotypes come out will be huge and I know Oliver is the best person to tell this story.

Same with Ryan and Eddie. Even more so in some ways because if we do get a coming out story with Eddie we'll get to see an older Latino man figuring out his sexuality and having to deal with all of the cultural and familial pressures than could bring. Queer rep respecially for characters of color isn't something we get a lot of in mainstream media but even less for a character like Eddie and if it happens it will be incredibly important. Ryan has already proved how much he cares when telling Eddie's story especially with things like his ptsd and being a veteran so I know he'll put the same love into a coming out story for Eddie.

#911 spoilers #oliver stark #ryan guzman #911! #911 s7*

[glamangel3766]

Just got into the Ace Attorney fandom/franchise 🏛🏵⚖️

I have a question(or 2)(I tend to ramble) for the veteran fans followed by a few theories/ headcanons/ observations I made as I delved into the rabbit hole that is my shiny new addiction/obsession. (*Please note I'm awful at spelling. Spellcheck can only do so much for my jelly brain)

Question:

Is shipping WrightWorth just a natural part of the initiation/transition into the fandom or is that just the fujoshi in me getting a bingo on a card with all my fave shipping tropes?

These 2 lawyers act like rivals, claim to be friends since childhood, but are desperately in love with each other in reality and anyone with even half a brain cell can tell. This ship gives me strong vibes of "I hate how much I love you but won't say a thing because I believe you deserve better and I'm not ready to deal with the truth of how much I value you" Miles Edgeworth x "I will sing your praises if you'd just let me and alter my whole life to be within your presence because I don't want a life where you aren't a part of it" Pheonix Wright.

Theory/headcanon/observation(s):

I totally agree with the fandom that Pheonix would openly love Legally Blonde. However, I think Miles would secretly love it more after Pheonix forces him to watch both the movie and musical, but only deny his love for it because the song "Gay or European" calls him out too much and he feels offended by that. How DARE a song from a musical based on a movie call him out like that in front of his dearest-childhood-friend-totally-not-first-love-now-turned-husband and their adopted children like that!?!

I feel like even the homophobes can see Miles Edgeworth has the vibes of a bitter old gay man, but this prosecutor is so far in the closet that his shipping address is Narnia

How can anyone say Wrightworth isn't legit/canon? They're either a bickering old married couple or a newly divorced couple that's too proud to admit they still love each other and want to get back together. You cannot convince me otherwise. Either way they still always find things to argue about, but end up aggressively making out in a violent and heated passion then(if divorced) just as aggressively deny that they ever locked lips.

FOR CONTEXT: I watched the Game Grumps do a let's play of it and I'm currently playing through the Trilogy game(s(?)*) on the Switch and know bits and pieces through repeating themes in fan-made content. (I also want to watch the anime but haven't decided if I should finish playing before starting.)

* I'm still not fully used to how the story is structured like a book series, but I'm close. I'm at around 90% used to it. Like I understand it in my head but when I need to put it into actual words it makes my brain hurt.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

#ace attorney #miles edgeworth x phoenix wright #wrightworth #miles edgeworth #pheonix wright #phoenix wright #bad spelling #new obsession just dropped #yay #I swore this was supposed to be a short post #why must everything I post turn into a novel/essay? #please send help #it's becoming a problem #pray for me #I might be beyond saving

[nerdynuala]

Hi, love your hcs from last time! Could I make a hange request? I'm intrigued to think about random real life situations of her. Like, I feel like at least once is her life she was bullied, humiliated? Why do people do that with all nerds lol. how do you think she deals with those situations?

Also, (teenage or youth edition) about how is her relationship with her friends, what habits she has in her daily life, I don't know, I leave you free creativity space!

Hello please forgive me, I don't even know how long this has been sitting in my inbox T_T

I haven't been thinking or writing headcanons lately, but I'll give you my best try because heck you sent this so long ago I definitely owe you at least an attempt lol

Sorry again, I hope you can enjoy this anyway.

I've decided to focus on the prompt of Hange being bullied or humiliated more than anything else, but I threw in some things about childhood/youth friendships (truth is, I don't think Hange had many friends as a child or teen) and some veterans

Here we go:

- a classic, Hange wearing glasses since a very young age, she got called four-eyes ever since she started hanging out with other kids. Did it hurt her? Well, she never would admit it, but until the age of 12/13 she did wish her eyesight was better just so that kids would stop making her feel different, in a bad way. She used to laugh it off when people teased her, but in the privacy of her bathroom at home she would squint at her reflection in the mirror and wish she could walk around without her glasses.

- Being a very curious and somewhat savage kid, with a passion for every kind of bug, did not help her making friends. She was called a weirdo for collecting bugs, showing them to every kid, and knowing all the weird names of the insects. But it was her passion, in this case she really couldn't care less what other kids thought of her. She did befriend a boy who also loved bugs and they used to go looking for them in the forest.

- Hange used to get along better with boys. Girls talked behind her back and found Hange dirty and wild, they used to tell her she "should have been a boy". Hange did not care for "being a girl or a boy", she was "just Hange, take it or leave it". Boys did like Hange's company though, they could play more competitive and sporty games with her and she did enjoy every bit of pinecones and stones wars.

- When Hange grew up, as a teen she often wished she could fit in better with girls in her environment, but she caught some of them talking behind her back, saying Hange was not feminine and an intense nerdy weirdo and that no one, boy girl or wathever, would want to be with her. Hange was really independent at the time and was not looking forward to any relationship in particular, but it still hurt because she only wanted someone to be able to talk to and that would listen to her and talk to her with the same passion she put into things she liked. She stopped talking to the girls she overheard, but she never stopped smiling and waving at them when they crossed paths. Hange did not want them close in her life anymore, but that didn't mean she would stop being kind even though they had not been to her once. Hange understood she was kind of different and that these girls probably weren't open-minded enough to understand that not everyone has to be the same.

- What hurt Hange the most, however, happened in her early adult life. Being a scout, a Squad Leader, and most importantly a Titan Researcher, she once had to present her advances in Titan Research to a large crowd of Scouts and MPs, even higher ranks. She put much effort into it and she was sure that, this time, she had a lot of new information about Titans that would thrill and help everyone out. She did present and, in the middle of the presentation she heard some people giggling and making comments she couldn't hear. It bothered Hange because, heck this was a serious matter and it was important to her and to anyone interested in defeating the Titans. She was interrupted by someone from the Military Police who raised his hand to ask, quite literally, "who the dickhead that let her funds for this bullshit was". The dude even had the courage to say that the money would have been better spent for "hiring some sluts to lift the spirits of the Scouts". It was the first time that Hange was at a loss of words and couldn't bite back. She felt like crying from anger and feeling helpless. She normally dealt with people belittling or bullying her by biting back with some sarcastic remark, but her mind went blank. She couldn't finish the presentation like she had in mind and felt depressed for a whole month after that. Her job, her research and the passion she put into it was the most important thing to her. She could deal with people making fun of her for being weird, for being "not feminine", for wearing stupid glasses... But not with people thinking her work was worthless, she discovered.

After this episode, Levi offered Hange a lot of late night tea and even let her rant a lot. He even asked how she knew that titans don't poop.

Also, a few weeks after that, Hange heard rumors that the MP dude who interrupted her presentation was beaten up by a short guy who ended up being stronger than 5 men all together. They said the guy was probably raised in the underground, as he fought like a thug from down there.

Side note, Erwin subtly raised funds for Titan Research and provided her with a brand new laboratory and named Moblit her assistant, officially. Moblit helped her to find the spark she had lost after being humiliated, he gave her a collection of new Titan drawings that were bound together in a new book, which had a lot of blank pages to fill in with new research. Mike and Levi also promised, without sounding too grumpy, to capture a Titan so that they could study them better.

#headcanons #inbox #answered #better late than never #?? #aot #snk #hange zoe #veterans #snk vets #levihan #if you squint #but hey this is a levihan blog so no need of squinting either

[starseneyes]

Spock / Nurse Christine Chapel - Star Trek: Strange New Worlds S2 Eps 8 & 9

So, I was gonna wait until the Finale to do another Meta, but then I saw all the Chapel hate coming out after 9, and I felt the need to insert my (uneducated) opinion.

SPOILER ALERT: Spoilers are like garlic for me. If the recipe calls for a clove, I'm adding a head. So, if you dare eat this Spanish/Ukrainian princesa's babaganoush, then this spoiler-filled Meta is for you!

Everyone clear on how this thing works? Brilliant. Let's dive in with kleenex in hand.

"Under the Cloak of War" AKA "You Had To Be There"

"The ally ambassador must have many interesting insights on delicate matters of diplomacy." ... "Christine." "What? Oh, you're doing the word game. Um, I'm sorry. I don't really have one right now."

The staging of this is so haunting and beautiful. Spock has his back to the situation, because he was never really apart of it. Spock didn't see the ravages of the Klingon War up close.

Christine faces it head-on, refusing to look away when it might be healthier for her. She shouldn't even be here. But the Veterans are forcing themselves to put on a good face for the sake of Starfleet.

And, ugh, that kills me inside. M'Benga writes it off, saying he's survived worse than polite conversation. True. But that doesn't make any of this right.

Spock is worried about his not-girlfriend, but he has no idea how to help her. He can't understand what she's been through, but she won't/can't help him understand.

And, please don't misread this as a criticism of Christine. She is under no obligation to help Spock understand. But he cannot understand it, and from his perspective, he's trying to. He never will.

"You are under duress."

Spock shifts from standing in front of her to standing alongside her. I love that choice. I don't know if it was writing, acting, directing, or something else. But it shows the shift in him turning that blind eye (intentionally or not) to standing with her.

Also, gosh, he knows her. He's observant of her. He's paying attention.

He wordlessly looks down to the glass in her hand.

"Quite understandable. I do not know much about your service in the war, but... I am available if you ever feel the need to share." "Yeah, I don't, so let's just change the subject, yeah?"

Her duress increased. The exact opposite of what Spock hoped to achieve in telling her that he was there for her.

"I just wish he would shut up for one second about all this amazing peace he's achieved." "I can help with that."

There's vulnerability in her eyes as she looks over to him, because she really doesn't want to close herself off to him.

She doesn't want to deal with all that she lost during the War. And, in a small part, what she's going to lose shortly based on Boimler's words.

Spock strides over to the Ambassador, inspired by Christine's previous words, "let's just change the subject" and he puts it into practice. As conversation shifts, he looks to her.

"Did I do right?" his eyes ask. Because all he wants is to help her. She offers him a small nod and smile in return. Yes, in a small way, this is actually helping.

"Okay, I'm gonna go see if she needs anything."

It sucks that their first time sitting alongside one another at a dinner now that they're dating is one... like this.

There's nothing to report here on them besides the fact that Christine takes the out to leave and check on Erica while Spock sits in his chair stewing over what he could have done differently to help.

Spock earnestly wants to help. He doesn't know how. And Christine doesn't know how to tell him what will help because nothing will help.

"I want to apologize for my part in last night's dinner." "You don't need to apologize. None of this is about you. You just see me going through something and our closeness makes you feel responsible."

Spock is still looking for some way to help her. But Christine is still living in moments long since passed. And he can't get there because he's never been there.

But, she's right. Their "closeness" factors into him wanting to help. We know from the future that Spock cares deeply about the people he holds closest and would do anything for them.

"You're not." "I understand." *Spock looks around to see no one there* "That is not true."

Spock steps into the corner and Christine leans against the wall. They both relax into their positions almost effortlessly, but they aren't alongside one another anymore. They aren't facing anymore. They're separated with feet planted almost perpendicular.

This is where their paths diverge. No longer towards one another. No longer alongside. This subtle blocking choice shows us we're at the beginning of the end.

"I am having difficulty watching you experience such obvious distress. I want to help."

I love the clear communication on his end. Truly! Spock is laying it all out for Christine.

"But it would appear all that I am doing is making it worse." "War, it doesn't leave you. It can, it can bury itself, but it's-it's always there."

And she's trying to give him insight. But how can she truly explain? She can't.

"I researched J'Gal. It was a forward operating base. The data suggests the loss of life was disproportionate-" "J'Gal is not a statistic, Spock. J'Gal is what it is. War, it makes sense if you've been there, but it will never make sense."

That last line. Wow. I have nothing to add.

"Like I've been trying to tell you, I just need some personal time."

Like you've been trying to... huh? She's not even looking him in the eye while she says this. Because she's taking this opportunity to take that "closeness" that makes him feel responsible for her and push it away.

Maybe she's been trying to say this, but not saying this. We know Christine's not the best at communicating what she wants in a relationship.

And we know that right now he is making it tougher on her. Even he realizes it. But what he doesn't know is that in giving her this space, now, he'll never regain back what he thought they had.

"I understand. You require personal time away from me."

And he'll give it to her. He'd do anything for her. For goodness sake, he almost started a war for her when he was still in a fully-committed engagement. Of course he'll give her space if that's what she needs.

He only hopes she'll close the gap when she's ready. But poor, sweet, Vulcan/Human boy... you aren't ready.

"Subspace Rhapsody" AKA "Don't Go Breakin' My Heart"

"Oh, I have to talk to Spock."

But. She. Doesn't. Christine doesn't like truth-filled conversations with the people she's dating. We know that this is a core flaw in her attempts at relationship—she has no idea how to effectively communicate with a romantic partner.

She's not going to talk to him... and instead he's going to stew (and eventually make his own stupid decision) because they're not communicating at all.

I feel like Christine was one of the best at communicating with Spock pre-romance. They built this really beautiful friendship. And even as they were in the early stages of their dating relationship, that connection still seemed strong.

But J'Gal tested them in a way neither predicted. And that would have happened whether or not Boimler dropped the future truth bomb.

Christine has a lot of PTSD that is unprocessed. And Spock lacks that understanding because he has never shared those experiences. I've seen relationships implode more than once when one partner had PTSD. It's brutal.

And enter this huge opportunity for Christine. She once told Spock that relationships are about mutual sacrifice, that one puts the relationship above work. But that's not how either Christine or Spock operate.

In a parallel universe, they could discuss this openly and honestly with one another. But this Spock and Christine have communication issues that they'll sadly never resolve (at least so far as we know canon).

"Unfortunately, we have had another communication failure."

Dana Horgan & Bill Wolkoff (the screenwriters of this episode), I love you. To have that line as the verbal cue to switch scenes was so bloody perfect, especially considering the state of the Spapel relationship. These two are definitely experiencing a communication failure.

"Is that transmission regarding Nurse Chapel's recent fellowship application? Was the news... favorable?"

Oh, dear, how long has he been giving her "personal time" that he's asking Uhura for updates?

"I don't look at personal correspondence." "Of course, that would be unethical."

And, look, he's not trying to spy. But he does want to know. And he wishes Christine would be the one to tell him. Our poor boy has been doing everything he can to help her—including giving her space.

But while he's been wishing to be close to her, again, she's been widening the gap.

"You and Nurse Chapel have become close, haven't you?"

Okay, so the whole crew isn't aware that these two are shacking up. But, we've seen Uhura be hyper-vigilante about the connection between Spock and Christine since Season 1. She was the first person to call it out.

And Spock really isn't sure what to say. In his mind, they are still an item, even if they aren't a "couple", right?

"I suppose it would be accurate to say that we are more than colleagues." "There's that classic Vulcan romance I've heard about."

She means it in a ribbing way, but it hurts. Uhura notices, and makes the adjustment, like any good communications officer would.

"Why don't you ask her about it?" "Of late, our communication has faced challenges."

Gosh, he needs this. In the absence of Christine, he needs someone he can talk to. Someone who can see the whole of him and truly listen. To make Uhura that foil considering the TOS-era friendship they seem to have makes total sense.

Spock Presses the Issue

It feels like Uhura and Spock both thought he'd be the one to sing when this was pressed. Was it a stupid move? Gosh, yes. But if characters didn't make mistakes, we'd scream and wail about their plasticity and lack of organic truth. They have to be flawed to be well-rounded.

But, Spock's mistake leads to one of the most energetic songs of the episode, and a lot of unspoken truths.

"Christine. Logic would dictate you are toasting good news regarding your fellowship. So, allow me to offer congratulations." "Thank you, Spock." "I am curious why you chose not to inform me. Was it an oversight? Or was it intentional?" "Can we, um, can we talk about this later?" "I am just curious."

Again, Spock pressing this in front of everyone was asinine. I'm not glossing over that. But her hiding it from him was stupid, too. They are both in the wrong in how they handled this situation.

But I truly believe Uhura though Spock would be the one to sing. They were trying to incite a song, and she could already tell he was o the verge of emotional when it came to Christine and this fellowship.

But, Christine busts out with absolute glee. And she deserves to be gleeful. A partner should never be her whole life.

And I truly believe she never would have told Spock in front of the entire bar under any other circumstances. We already set it up with La'an warning Pike and then Pike and Batel exposing themselves in front of everyone.

To borrow the phrase from Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist, these are "heart songs". These are things that dwell in the deepest part of selves that would never come out under normal circumstances.

Pike would still be lying to Batel. La'an wouldn't have run off to hide in her quarters because she was belting truths. And Christine would have dealt with Spock in her own time... even if that was still a bad choice.

The song forced Christine to share this truth.

And, gosh, there are so many lyrics in here that show Christine's state of mind. The validation. The freedom. The future that she already knows she doesn't share with Spock.

Christine has applied to something that only a handful of people get into every year, and this isn't a 2-month trip that she'd return from. This could be the start of an entirely new path for her. She may never come back to Enterprise.

And, from his perspective, I see how cold-hearted it seemed. But I do not begrudge her going after her dreams. I simply abhor that she cut Spock out entirely prior to this big musical number.

But... our characters have to make mistakes. Otherwise, we'd be watching "the perfect people" do nothing every week.

"If I need to leave you, I won't fight it. I'm ready."

She speaks the line the last time... "I'm ready." It's spoken outside of the song. She means it. And it crushes him.

He turns over that left shoulder... but away from her, this time. He's spent the entire song standing still while the world around him moved, while she moved the world with her words. And now he feels out of place in a realm where she thrives.

Her spark is ignited, while his flame painfully claws at the last threads of wick before dying.

Uhura and Chapel are the only ones who watch Spock go—who understand what really happened there. We don't see Christine's reaction, but we see Erica smiling up at her.

Christine meant it. She's ready to move on. But it does kill me that she doesn't try to go after him, to seek him out, to make sure he's okay.

Again, our characters have to make mistakes. They have to screw it up. And in how she handles breakups, Christine consistently screws up. It would be out-of-character for her to handle this one well.

Again, I don't blame her for breaking up with him via song. He pushed her to sing by pushing the issue. But her actions before and after are entirely her own just as much as his to push was his. They're both idiots.

"I didn't expect Christine to be so definitive about ending our arrangement."

He doesn't even refer to it as a relationship. But, since he's opened up to Uhura at the start of the episode about them being "more than colleagues", he feels freer to speak.

He also feels exposed.

"Relationships can be difficult, Spock, and you're Vulcan" "But I am also human."

Oh, my sweet boy. You finally got there. You finally learned to embrace both sides of yourself only to experience your first true heartbreak.

And now you'll endeavor to do what so many other humans have done before you—shut out the pain.

"I feel things differently. Bigger. I see her logic and, yet, I am hurt."

Gosh, the pain. Listen to his emphasis on "hurt". This is where Ethan Peck's vocal inflection and range really sing (pardon the pun).

Uhura has never seen this level of emotion from Spock. But they are becoming friends, which is welcome and needed for both their stories. And he's opening up in a way he won't, again, for a very long time, I suspect.

"I am left behind."

I hate to say it, but I imagine this is how T'Pring felt when he took off on their engagement night. There was always something Spock seemed to be choosing over her.

The difference is that Spock thought he and T'Pring's relationship could weather all his other duties. With Christine, that isn't even a possibility she's willing to entertain.

She's done. It's over. And he's hurt.

The Music Swells

Spock and Uhura lock eyes. They both know a song is coming on, but I love how he doesn't run away, and she stays there with him.

If anyone knows what it is to be alone, it's Uhura. She's the one who pressed him to press Christine, so she's not leaving his side, now.

And it's Christine's Song. It's their song. Oh, gosh, this hurts. I didn't call it right on them sharing a song in terms of a duet, but in this melody, they share the two sides of the same song—one elated, one defeated.

Though, Spock's in the minor key where Christine was in the major. So, even though the melody and rhythm are matching, the songs aren't quite the same, even in construction. Damn, this is masterful.

My husband, who started playing piano at age 5 and studied for 21 years, said they gave Spock and Chapel the "Les Mis" treatment, and I about died laughing. He's not wrong.

"This news really changes everything-"

Starting the same way, too, whew. This is already super painful. Christine's version was a boisterous, celebratory tune with raucous dancing, cheerful backup vocals, and lots of pageantry.

Spock is in the echo chamber of Engineering. Without Uhura, he would be utterly alone. But there's no one to sing with him. His voice rings out alone.

"I can't believe how wrong I've been. Convinced myself we shared the same feelings. I won't make that mistake, again."

And Uhura can't interject to tell him about interdimentional space and everything that Christine said there. It's not her place. But, damnit, communication would have changed this whole story.

"For her I set aside my need to analyze. Now I'm wrecked and searching for Why. I'm the Ex."

Beautiful play on words. Though, I'll admit a small part of me was mentally breaking into the Calculus song from 2gether (yes, I'm that old).

While the other song was more hilarious, this one's eloquently and agonizingly crafted. It makes so much sense that our favorite Science officer is merging math and music, as only the best STEAM students can.

"I've got no one but myself to blame. I betrayed my core philosophy. Unending reason must be my true north, lest I drown in this sea of pain."

Imagine you've grown up in a constricted world and when you finally decide to break out of that and test the waters, your boat is capsized by the person you trusted to help you steer.

Spock took a great risk with this relationship, and he knew it. But he never predicted it would end like this. Yes, Christine was upfront with not wanting to label it and not wanting to tell Starfleet. She didn't pretend in any way.

But Spock still hoped. And now that hope's been dashed.

I think a lot of us have been there—having our hearts broken by someone we really trusted. Gosh, I remember my first boyfriend.

He broke up with me over the phone on my birthday, which happened to be the week of Prom. Oh, and he was cheating on me because two months in on my first relationship I wouldn't sleep with him. We still went to Prom together because I thought I could win him back.

Seventeen-year-old Rachel wasn't that bright. But she was hurt. And she had hope that she was wrong to be guarded, that it was okay to let those walls down a bit and let someone in.

"I'm so dysfunctional, weak and emotional, feelings I just can't contain. Escaping this misery, you're breaking free, not a possibility.

Uhura's brow furrows as she listens to him talking about himself so harshly.

"Weak and emotional" is a gut-punch to me considering how a season ago in episode 9 Spock was lamenting his weakness while Christine cupped his face and told him it was his emotions... and that they didn't make him weak... they made him human.

"I solved for Y in my computation but missed vital information, the variable so devastating... I'm the X."

Watch how he looks to Uhura mid-phrase. He nearly forgot she was there listening to him bare his soul. But he can't stop it as it's flowing out. He has to finish the song, no matter how painful.

"I'm the ex."

He speaks the line the same way Christine spoke her last line. Because, it's real. It's true. And it hurts like hell.

"I am sorry."

He's near tears, again, and it's all wrong. So far this season Christine, M'Benga, the transporter chief, and now Uhura have seen the Vulcan near-tears or crying. He can't have that, now. Before, he allowed himself the vulnerability. He tested the bounds of his humanity.

Never again. He refuses to let himself be hurt like that, again.

"So far, we've only witnessed people being torn apart by this event." *pointed camera on Spock*

Look, we all knew this was coming, right? This story is set in canon, and canon dictates and Spock and Christine are not together in TOS-era.

And Spock has already started to bottle up those emotions that plague him. We saw that he can pull it together quickly enough, as demonstrated in the season opener.

Yes, this will take work, but he's willing to do whatever it takes to never feel this pain, again.

The Missed Moment

At the end of the big musical number, everyone's feeling connected and elated. There's hugging and congratulations. But when Christine turns to Spock, there's a wall there.

She didn't expect that. You can tell she didn't expect him to wall her off so swiftly, though it's not entirely unexpected. And she's not going to chase after him.

But it still hurts. I mean, we all saw how broken-hearted she was at Boimler's news that she wasn't even a footnote in Spock's written story.

And I posit that's part of why this isn't harder for her—she's been letting go for weeks. Pulling away. Making space. But Spock's had mere moments to wrestle with the consequences of giving into weakness.

A few weeks ago, he would have been laughing and hugging with all of them. He was reveling in testing the waters of his humanity while basking in the love of this beautiful, human woman. So much changes in the course of a few weeks.

Look, I'm thrilled for Christine. I am definitely not a woman who thinks any woman should change her plans for a man. But celebrating with her friends over champagne before telling Spock was tacky.

And I'm not excusing him pressing her in front of their friends for an answer. While he did it under the guise of duty (and we all know how married Spock is to duty), it was a bad call.

But they're both in the wrong. Spock was right at the beginning of the episode—their communication is a problem.

And, now, their paths are potentially, permanently diverged. I say potentially because there are dozens of possibilities.

Maybe they try, again, but something external pulls them apart. Maybe they get together in another timeline. Maybe years after TOS they reunite. We can dream, right?

In the season finale, there'll be awkwardness between them, I'm sure. This looks like the Gorn issue is coming to a head, and we know from early promos that there's footage of the pair of them together in space suits.

Will it be a final coda on their relationship? I suppose we'll find out together.

There were so many little things that made me squee during this episode. Paul Wesley's voice reminding me so very much of 1960's-era Disney princes, the Gilbert & Sullivan reference, the Buffy-coded Bunny reference, Uhura's amazing earrings that were giving me major Nichelle Nichols vibes, the raucous joy of Chapel's number, the crispness and clearness of Chistina Chong's vocals, M'Benga's surprising range, the varying styles and eras... so much. I could go on and on and on.

And, I'd be so remiss if I didn't call out two things in this episode that took my breath away beyond the obvious Spapel:

"You see the connections between us when all we see are the empty spaces."

This line skewered me so beautifully. I'm a communications person. I have two degrees in it. I held together a group of friends who met at college orientation through our four years of school, and we've been together over 20 years, now.

This line is so beautiful and so meaningful. I will think of it often. Because we need people like that in the world. They're the connective tissue.

And this line captures why so beautifully with so few words. That's masterful. In a season that's all about connectivity and communication, this line stands out.

Celia Rose Gooding

No quotes needed. She's simply sensational. I like to think Nichelle Nichols is looking down on her with a proud smile on her face. Her entire solo I had chills.

Yes, there was another episode this season that focused on Uhura, but I really feel like this was her show.

We saw how she flawlessly handled all of the communications issues early, how she worked beautifully with Spock, how she cut loose with her friends with a musical number while working, and how she ultimately saved the day.

She is a marvel to watch, and I'm so grateful she had an opportunity to shine as she did in this episode. I've loved her performance up until now, but this episode is the one where I was completely wowed. What talent!

Truly, everyone was amazing this week. Yes, she was a stand-out, but everyone poured their hearts and souls and songs into this. It shows. And it's magical as a result.

My predictions for this episode weren't quite right, but the spirit sadly was. Now we get awkwardness next week in space suits. We all know how that ended for B'Elanna Torress and Tom Paris, but I doubt Christine and Spock will have such a positive experience.

Maybe some sort of resolution, but Spock's declared he won't make the same mistake, again. He's walled off that part of himself already. Christine won't be able to access it, again.

Unless, of course, I'm completely wrong and Season 3 opens with them in a parallel universe where these crazy kids get it right. But, what fun would that be?

Look, we all make mistakes. Characters make mistakes. They can't magically be completely different versions of themselves because it suits a happy ending. We all knew this wasn't a happily ever after story.

We knew it'd be messy and painful. We knew it'd end in tears. But, the writers, directors, and performers (not to mention the rest of the incredible crew) have given us something really beautiful, here. It's achingly beautiful. What a privilege to witness it.

Thanks for reading, my friends. Be kind to one another. Build one another up. And never forget that you have intrinsic value and worth that nobody can take away.

Look for the connections in the empty spaces. They're there. We're here. And you are not alone.

#Strange New Worlds #ST: Strange New Worlds #SNW #Christine Chapel #Spock #Spock x Chapel #Chapel x Spock #Nurse Chapel #Ethan Peck #Jess Bush #Meta #Spapel #Spock x Christine

[sybilius]

Okay, I don't think anyone that I've seen so far has written meta on this exact metaphor that's obsessing me in Same as Cash. So there's two layers of story going on here. On the action front, we're seeing (through someone else's eyes) Jenny debate with herself about holding on to her car:

You were still attached to your Civic sedan Although the brakes always needed repair You were headed out to buy some supplies You could smell the threat of rain in the air I can only see the scene second-hand I can only try to understand How a small amount of pressure in the right place Breaks the strongest link in the chain

So that's a pretty concrete story -- Jenny loves her car, but her car is falling apart a little. Then we get the chorus:

In your car with your head in your hands At the far end of the Walmart parking lot Trying not to buckle under the strain

Okay, so Jenny's not doing well! She's carving out time for herself in the car, head in hands, at the parking lot for supplies. Then we get to the verse about the car salesman:

Every single night after prime time Loud enough to hear in your sleep The salesman from the lot half a mile from here Yelling down the hood of his Jeep I'll take anything that the others won't I can see the value where others don't Just a small amount of pressure in the right place Two fingers to the temporal vein

I bolded the text because -- honestly, it feels bold when it's sung, doesn't it? This is where the story makes it clear what Jenny is about, what her raison d'etre is. She wants to take in those who are forsaken, she can see value in them when no one else can. We get another hit of the chorus, and then:

Striking a bargain with the imp in your brain Prepared to take another knock for the short gain But you can ask any veteran running back Eventually your joints complain

Okay, so this was the one I really really wanted to talk about because I think it's maybe some of the most clever wordplay ever, and also one of the most apt pieces of writing about the perils of taking on other's pain as your main response to most problems in life. The "striking a bargain with the imp in your brain" -- it feels like the narrator is aware, that Jenny is making a short-term deal (selling her car) because she's worried about supplies they need.

But there's also the layer on which taking on more strays -- more people, more community, more pain that she doesn't have capacity for -- that's also a short-gain distraction. I don't know how to explain this to people who haven't been there, but other people's pain can be addictive. It can genuinely feel like, okay, listening to your problems for a minute, giving you what you need -- that's vicariously giving me what I need.

That's why the line "prepared to take another knock for the short gain" is so goddamn clever. It's a knock, as in a blow to Jenny's self to sell her car off for the Kawasaki. But the literal knock of someone else at her door who needs shelter is calling to her, for the short gain of vicarious relief (instead of having to face up to her own needs).

Anyways. Jenny's house of hard knocks. that's the post thank you for coming to my ted talk <3

#tmg #jenny from thebes #lyric analysis

[genderkoolaid]

not gonna like unfollow or anything but ur veteran post... Bad Take. literally veterans do not get shit, because the ACTUAL issue is the US war machine targets at-risk people, promises they'll be set for life after only a few war crimes, then... discards them. if you'd ever worked with a VA office directly, you'd know this, but veteran 'benefits'? barely exist. most of the veterans i know (esp. older veterans) are disabled, housing-insecure, food-insecure... i understand the vitriol towards the US military. i really, *really* do. you have no idea how much i hate the US. but like these people have comically little support from the govt once they're not on reserve, and it kinda feels like your whole post is just punching down. it's ANNOYING that people are more willing to publicize veterans' issues than other marginalized people, but i feel like the target here should be the military as an entity, not the people it hurts.

I didn't intend to imply that its veterans fault or that they do get a great deal of benefit from this kind of worship. My post was only talking about the way people use veteran worship, I don't think I ever blamed this on veterans. My point is that "a group with high rates of disenfranchisement deserve systemic support" only is seen as universally virtuous (regardless of whether or not its properly implemented) when it can be used as an imperialist project. Widespread systemic changes to benefit disabled people, substance users, poor and unhoused people, would all also benefit veterans but instead of just implementing those changes, the idea is "these issues only deserve to be solved when we are specifically helping veterans as their reward for supporting US imperialism." I'm sorry if I didn't make it clear that these political actions don't actually help veterans all that much but I really don't feel like I was "punching down" in that post. I was very specifically talking about people's attitudes on helping veterans vs helping a group like Black people and how it shows just how much our values shift based on racism & imperialism.

#m. #ask box

[hooked-on-elvis]

Pictures of Elvis as Clint Reno on "Love Me Tender" (1956) | "The Rainmaker" screen test in Hollywood (March 26-28th, 1956) + magazine article | On "Love Me Tender" production and premiere (November 15, 1956). 🎬

He had never even been in a school play, but he loved the silver screen and dreamed of seeing himself upon it. In April of 1956*, his chance arrived when legendary Hollywood producer Hal Wallis gave him a screen test. He was asked to read a part from 'The Rainmaker' with actress Cynthia Baxter, who later confessed that her initial reaction to working with Elvis had been "Ugh!" Afterward, however, Baxter said she found him "amazing to work with." Elvis told Wallis he didn't like the Rainmaker role: The character was too "happy, jolly, lovesick." Well, Wallis asked him, what kind of part would you like to play? "One more like myself," he said, "so I won't have to do any excess acting." Four months later (after Wallis and Colonel Parker had negotiated a three-picture-deal for $400.000) he was on the set of 'Love Me Tender' playing Clint Reno (seen here) — a passionate, naive young man, destined to die young.

*Elvis' Hollywood screen test was actually held, not in April but in March 1956, between Monday, the 26th and Wednesday, the 28th. Elvis would later say he memorized every line of the script of 'The Rainmaker' (not only his lines, the whole script!) in preparation for the screen test. A couple of months later, however, he told Robert Johnson of the Memphis Press-Scimitar that he had misgivings from the start about the character he would play. “It was a good part, but I just couldn’t see it for me. A good-natured, happy teen-ager, but with nothing up here. After I read the script, I just wanted to do another kind of part,” said Presley to the reporter.

This thing the magazine wrote about Elvis wanting "not to do any excess acting" is total bullshit. EP would never say such thing once he was so happy to kick off his acting career. He dedicated himself and wanted to make it as good actor. Elvis was excellent memorizing lines even before he was an actor, when he would memorize lines from all his favorite movies (such as 'Rebel Without a Cause'). Once he was indeed on the other side of the screen, filming his first movie, Elvis didn't miss the chance and talked to many veteran actors in hopes to have hints on how to make it better in front of the camera. He dedicated himself the best he could — and as the years went by, even so his roles were less and less interesting or challenging, sometimes even silly as he feared in the beginning of his career, Elvis achieved the goal in being a natural in front of those Hollywood filming cameras, and this is something absolutely undeniable. The thing about complaining of the role he performed on his screen test in 1956, probably had something to do with the image Elvis wanted to project onto his young audience, and that was not one of a "good-natured" guy.

Elvis wanted serious roles and, besides, he liked the 'bad boy' atitude James Dean and Marlon Brando had... the menacing glances, the defiant rebel posture. Elvis mentioned this to Lloyd Shearer, in 1956 during a photo session at the Peabody Hotel, in Memphis, Tennessee. Lloyd was photographing Elvis when the Presley politely asked the photographer to promise not to snap him "not even smiling slightly". His objection was explained with:

"I've made a study of Marlon Brando. I've made a study of poor Jimmy Dean [actor James Dean had recently died in a car crash]. I've made a study of myself. And I know why girls, at least the young ones, go for us. We're sullen, we're broodin', we're something of a menace. I don't understand it exactly, but that's what girls like in men. I don't know anything about Hollywood. But I know that you can't be sexy if you smile. You can't be a rebel if you grin. If you don't mind, let me pose myself." — Elvis, 1956.

On his screen test in March, 1956, Presley did two scenes from 'The Rainmaker' (and also was asked, and performed against his will since he didn't wanted to sing on the screen at all, to 'Blue Sued Shoes') Later that year, Elvis recalled the dramatic tests. “I knew my script,” he said. “I got out there and just tried to put myself in the place of the character I was playing, just trying to act as naturally as I could.”

In May, Elvis told Will Jones of the Minneapolis Tribune that he favored the second of the two scenes. “I took this screen test where I came in and was real happy and jolly and I didn’t like it. I did this other one where I was mad at this girl, and I liked that better — it was me.”

Elvis worked with veteran actor Frank Faylen in one test scene and with twenty-one-year-old actress Cynthia Baxter (later Cynthia O’Neal) in another scene.

She later told TV Guide, “When the Wallis people told me I was to make a test with him, my reaction was ‘Ugh!’ But, you know, he is a very interesting boy — kind of amazing to work with. As an actor, he has a lot of work ahead of him, but he has wonderful attributes to start with.”

Actress Cynthia O'Neal (former Baxter). The picture (right) is the only still from 'The Rainmaker' scene she played with Elvis for his screen test on March 26th, 1956. No footage was released until today, unfortunately.

March 27th, 1956: Elvis with veteran actor Frank Faylen. The scene Elvis did with Faylen was this one below (no footage, sadly, but there's pictures from his test on the video, following the scenes):

Allan Weiss was not as impressed with the dramatic part of Presley’s test as he was with the musical portion. “Elvis played the rebellious younger brother with amateurish conviction — like the lead in a high school play. His performance was believable, but lacked the polished subtleties of a professional.” On the other hand, after viewing the acting part of the test, Paramount dramatic coach Charlotte Clary thought Elvis might have a future as an actor. “The boy is a natural,” she judged. “There’s nothing fresh or obnoxious about him at all.” Source: http://www.elvis-history-blog.com/elvis-screen-test.html

On March 28th came Presley’s third screen test, the King lip-synched to “Blue Suede Shoes” in front of a set of rather shiny curtains. It was a wild audition, with Elvis giving his trademark gyrations and sneer. He was doing what he did majestically already, so he enchanted the screenwriter Allan Weiss.

“The transformation was incredible. We knew instantly that we were in the presence of a phenomenon; electricity bounced off the walls of the sound stage. One felt it as an awesome thing — like an earthquake in progress, only without the implicit threat. Watching this insecure country boy, who apologized when he asked for a rehearsal as though he had some something wrong, turn into absolute dynamite when he stepped into the bright lights and started lip-synching the words of his familiar hit. He believed in it, and he made you believe it, no matter how ‘sophisticated’ your musical tastes were.” — Allan Weiss, Screenwriter.

This reaction may have set Elvis' fate in Hollywood, among other things (money-seeking, as naturally any company would be bound to be), but up until then as far as EP knew he would act in a non-musical role, so this kept him thrilling. Elvis' fans, as always, were very supportive, and couldn't wait to watch the rock star on the big screen.

(Above) August 16, 1956: Elvis left Memphis on an American Airlines flight for Los Angeles where he reported to 20th Century Fox for pre-production meetings for his first movie. The fans greeted him at the airport, holding "Presley for President" posters. 🥹

As the production for Elvis' first movie begun, things were... different. The studio/producers eventually altered the script to include 4 songs Elvis would sing, 'Love Me Tender' being one, and they altered the title of the film too — originally entitled 'The Reno Brothers' — so it could follow the name of that one Elvis song.

This turned things bittersweet to Presley. Elvis did not want to sing on the screen and he confessed to his close friends how upset watching as they promised him one thing and ended up eventually changing plans (to profit on his music career) without him being able to do anything about it (June Juanico was one girlfriend he vented about this).Top this to the fact that Elvis indeed preferred his part to be a little more to the 'bad boy' side, and Clint Reno was everything but a bad boy, and you can imagine how Elvis felt about his first movie, not fully satisfied after all. Still he kept hopeful about his acting career could evolve and he could eventually become a serious actor. This hopeful mood followed his next films, but it did not last long.

Either way, the premiere for 'Love Me Tender' was a huge success.

Arlene Cogan, a young fan that not much after this would become friends with Elvis, shared in her book "Elvis, This One's for You" that when she went to watch the movie she spent the whole day rewatching it in the theater, over and over again. She says that no one seemed to leave the room.

"When Elvis appeared on the screen, everyone screamed so much that you couldn't hear him." — Arlene Cogan on her book "Elvis, This One's for You".

On the day 'Love Me Tender' premiered in the theaters on November 15, 1956.

November 21st 1956. 1413 Main Street, Columbia, S.C., Richland County. A crowd of teenagers in the lobby of the Palmetto Theater for the opening of the Elvis Presley movie Love Me Tender.

November 16, 1956: Fans wait in line to see Elvis Presley in 'Love Me Tender'.

Even so Elvis' start in Hollywood wasn't quite as he expected (in personal satisfaction wise), Presley did it great as a sweet country boy, Clint Reno. Some critics didn't go for him and harshly bashed his acting skills (much going with their previous opinions on Elvis as a performer and the controversial about his 'antics' on the stage in the 50s), as much as some supported his initial kick off, but one thing's for sure: the young audience adored him regardless either if he was a "bad boy" onscreen or not. ♥

Elvis on "Love Me Tender", 1956.

#love me tender #the reno brothers #elvis presley #clint reno #elvis #1956 #50s movies #classic hollywood #old hollywood #classic icons #classic cinema #classic movies #50s films #lloyd shearer #parade magazine #magazine articles #elvis magazines #james dean #marlon brando #hollywood stars #Youtube #the rainmaker #cynthia o'neal #allan weiss

[simply-ivanka]

Mainstream Media's "Bloodbath"!

Speaking to an Ohio crowd about predatory Chinese trade practices, Trump said:

Let me tell you something: To China, if you're listening, President Xi — and you and I are friends — but he understands the way I deal. Those big monster car manufacturing plants that you're building in Mexico right now ... you're going to not hire Americans, and you're going to sell the cars to us, no. We're going to put a 100% tariff on every single car that comes across the line, and you're not going to be able to sell those cars if I get elected. Now, if I don't get elected, it's going to be a bloodbath for the whole — that's gonna be the least of it. It's going to be a bloodbath for the country. That will be the least of it. But they're not going to sell those cars.

His point is dead simple: Unless Trump is elected to stop it, American carmakers are going to suffer as a result of Chinese practices and Biden's failures.

Yet, as predictably as the sun rising in the east, Democrats and their Leftmedia propagandists seized on the word "bloodbath" to pretend that, if Trump loses the November election, he'll incite violence. It's part of a concerted strategy to keep January 6 at the forefront, even though the only real bloodshed that day was that of Ashley Babbitt at the hands of a Capitol Police officer.

"It's clear this guy wants another January 6," tweeted Joe Biden's social media people with a strategically truncated video of Trump's comments.

"He's even predicting a 'bloodbath,'" asserted Nancy Pelosi. "What does that mean? He's going to exact a bloodbath?"

"He was talking about a bloodbath," huffed MSBNC's Joe Scarborough. "Sometimes a bloodbath means a bloodbath."

"Trump Says Some Migrants Are 'Not People' and Predicts a 'Blood Bath' if He Loses," headlined The New York Times.

An NBC News headline blared, "Trump says there will be a 'bloodbath' if he loses the election."

Leftmedia talkingheads fretted over the return of 1930s German fascism and genocide. NBC News presidential historian Michael Beschloss said, "That's how fascism and totalitarianism and — in Germany's case — the Holocaust came to Germany, which had been a country where there were big institutions of democracy until, as you well know, the early 1930s." (Germany was primarily a monarchy until 1918, but whatever.)

Likewise, Politico's Michael Kruse wrote a lengthy article about how Trump's humor is essentially the same as Adolf Hitler: "Trump is not Hitler or Stalin or Mussolini. But they share a rhetorical style, experts say."

You get the idea.

"The word 'bloodbath' is used in common parlance all the time," noted veteran journalist Brit Hume, "and it doesn't necessarily refer to an actual shedding of blood. It refers to some major upheaval, damage being done, and the rest of it."

And you know something? Before Trump used the word, journalists understood that. They also used the word. A lot.

It's almost like their indignation now is phony.

Leftists and even some on the Right who hate Donald Trump with every fiber of their being really don't like the way Trump says things. Frankly, he is often unnecessarily uncouth, angry, visceral, and so forth. He behaves like, well, a Democrat.

Yet the things he says rightly and intentionally resonate with average Americans who are justifiably outraged at the rigged game Washington has foisted on us. Trump knows exactly what he's saying and why, and it works. He connects.

Trump posted his rebuttal on Truth Social: "The Fake News Media, and their Democrat Partners in the destruction of our Nation, pretended to be shocked at my use of the word BLOODBATH, even though they fully understood that I was simply referring to imports allowed by Crooked Joe Biden, which are killing the automobile industry."

"Missing context" is usually the "fact-checker" catch-all, but they're more than happy to let this one go. In fact, The Washington Post even offered "analysis" yesterday that the "broader context" is that "Trump has already warned of 'riots,' 'violence in the streets' and 'death & destruction' if he's wronged."

You want context? Those are things Democrat constituents actually do in America's cities.

"Many MAGA Republicans are saying Trump's 'bloodbath' comment should be put in context," the Biden-Harris HQ X account posted. "So we put it in context."

That context included not only January 6 but the BIG lie about Trump's "very fine people" comment about Charlottesville — the lie that supposedly motivated Biden to run in the first place.

As usual, political analyst David Harsanyi cuts to the chase: "You don't need to be a fan of Donald Trump to concede that this weekend's meltdown over the word 'bloodbath' was cynical and dishonest." Indeed, these contrived frenzies serve a dual purpose — to drive media ratings and to motivate suburban women to vote against the meanie with the red hat.

Yes, Trump was using hyperbole. "Politicians always catastrophize events," Harsanyi observed. Democrats are doing it now to rile up their own base.

On a final note, in case you think we were just throwing shade at Trump for behaving like a Democrat, here's a two-minute compilation of Democrats using violent language to express their contempt for a guy who forces them to look in the mirror.

#trump #ivanka #trump 2024 #america #president trump #repost #america first #americans first #donald trump #democrats

[cositapreciosa]

You & Me

Gilbert 'Gilly' Lopez x gn!reader, (murder/dead body, nothing graphic tho, ptsd? hardships and hard time, vibes are Gilly's veteran's storyline in the show) the usual for the show, 2307 words

a/n : as DJ Khaled once said : another one. You & Me is a Yelawolf song that slaps so

A follow up of this one can be read part 1.2 here and part 2 here !

Tagging the people I won't stop bothering about this new blorbo obsession @narcolini @drabbles-mc

As always it's the fictional, not the real deal, enjoy xx (do I have to add this for Mayans too or? Plz don't kiss people who shot people? You get it.)

You hadn’t seen him in months, not before you had seen him again at Jacob's birthday party at least, it had been weeks since then. You knew he wouldn’t be mad that you came knocking, found his address the only way you knew how, like the good old days. You were always closest to him, throughout it all, recruits, being shipped out, Mosul, coming back in pieces after everything. You had tried to stay close with them at the beginning, fix the pieces of the puzzle, go to those forced mental-health meetings the army thought were necessary, birthdays or nights out on the town. Even so, it always felt like too much. Too much noise, too many people, too many questions about everything that kept you awake at night. Too many pieces that couldn’t be put back like the others could. You just couldn’t see them as much after that, after you had realized they reminded you every day about what was wrong with you, what you couldn’t fix. You had missed him, of course, oh so much, but every time you stayed too long it felt like you were dragging them all down with you.

You knock on the door, knuckles on the paint. You know it is probably a bad thing, coming unannounced in the middle of the night, but you can’t seem to care. Before you could realize it, you had driven your car to his street, slowing down to read the numbers on the door, finally stopping in front of it. It’s a quaint building, with a nice white door, windows on each side. It didn’t look how you had imagined it and you had, so many times, wished to leave whatever shit show you had gotten yourself into this time. Run back to him. You don’t understand how you managed to escape one hell, only to get yourself trapped in another so quickly. So many hours spent training, fighting for your life, only to fall for a goddamn-

He opens the door, chain pulling between the frames. The porch is dark, barely lit, but you can see the surprise on his face, the confusion as your name falls from his lips. Guilt builds in your chest, panic clawing at your throat.

‘’ Hey, Gil. ‘’

It’s all you can manage, a small smile tugging at your lips, a peace offering. You know you don’t have to explain, that he understands, clearly you are not showing up this late for a beer and a chat. He moves behind the opened door, probably tucking in his waistband whatever gun he had snatched on his way to investigate the noise. He tugs the chain off, opening the door wider this time. You can see him looking around the street, ensuring it is only you and him. You feel like you can’t breathe like you are doing something you shouldn’t, even though you know this is precisely what you should be doing.

‘’ Are you alright? How did you get my… ‘’ You can hear the concern in his voice, see the confusion on his face as he trails off. His beard is shorter than the last time you had seen him, trimmed around the edges. You probably woke him up, you realize.

‘’ Are you doubting my skills now, ranger? ‘’

You want it to sound like a joke, you really do, but it lands flat, your voice is hoarse, tired, adrenaline wearing off. If he noticed it, he doesn’t tell you. He is not pushing you away, yet, and tonight, for the first time, you feel like you can really let your guard down. You take a deep breath, a shaky one, a sad one.

‘’ I hope I didn’t wake you. ‘’ Your voice is small, vulnerable. ‘’ I- ‘’

I need your help. It hurts to say it, to even think about it, and you can’t get the words out. They get stuck in your throat with all the sorry’s you owe him, the apologies you never gave him. His eyes are soft on you, deep brown eyes that always made you feel at home. That is when he notices it, the blood on your bottom lip, a straight cut, already swollen and purple where the fist had hit. His shoulders push back, finally awake, and you know he is ready to fight. You can tell his arms are tensing underneath his shirt, you can see how hard his gaze has become.

‘’ Who did this to you? ‘’

He takes a step towards you, towering over you, his hand moving your jaw to the side to try and see it better in the low light.

‘’ I took care of it, ‘’ You sigh. ‘’, but I need a favour. A big one, Gil. ‘’

You hesitate to tell him, to ask him to do this with you, for you. You know what he has been doing since he got back, joining the not-so-legal motorcycle club. Something about it being the closest it felt to being back in the field. It had been your lives for so long, breathing it, fighting for it, day and night, every second of it.

‘’ Tell me. ‘’

You can smell the detergent from his clothes, taste on your tongue what is left of the cigarette he had before bed. His hand is warm against your cheek, a nice contrast from the cold night. His thumb is caressing beneath your jaw, where the skin hasn’t bruised yet, and you can’t recall the last time you had been touched like this, slow, meaningful. You had missed this, him.

You take a quick look in the dark living room, past his shoulder, maybe he is not alone like you originally thought. You know Rae and Jacob haven’t been staying at their home lately, and Paul had told you that she had stayed a couple of nights at Gil’s. They must still be in the house when he gently presses you a few steps back, closing the door behind him. You really want to believe that it’s because of them, that he does this to keep their minds at ease, not to worry them about what mess you got yourself into this time. You don’t want to believe it might be because of someone else, that maybe he has someone now, someone he didn’t tell you about. He speaks again, gently coaxing it out of you.

‘’ You’re good, I got you. Tell me. ‘’

‘’ I took care of it, ‘’ You continue. Of him. ‘’ He’s in the trunk. ‘’

‘’ He’s in the what, now? ‘’

His hand falls from your jaw, landing in a strong grip where your neck meets the shoulder. It is not meant to hurt, and it doesn’t, you know it is mostly to keep you here, keep you from running away like you usually do. You know he would never let you deal with this on your own, you can’t turn around now, you have to face this.

‘’ I put him in the- ‘’

‘’ The trunk, yeah, I got that. ‘’

You swallow, and it doesn’t feel natural, like your muscles are clenching too hard to make the action happen. You bring a gentle hand to his forearm, taking in the heat that immediately covers your fingertips, the softness of the black shirt under your palm. You look back at him.

‘’ He deserved it, I swear. Gil, I- ‘’ Fuck.

You know there are tears in your eyes, you can’t help it. This whole thing makes you feel like a child, like you just got back from Iraq. You had always been able to be vulnerable with him, he would listen and listen until you had nothing to say anymore, nothing left to cry. A warm hand on your back, fingers in your hair.

‘’ Hey. I’ll take care of this. I know he did. ‘’

You know he doesn’t get it today, he couldn’t possibly, but you let him say it, let it justify your action, the blood that is still drying under your nails.

‘’ Let me make a few calls, okay? ‘’

You nod. You trust him, utterly and completely, with your safety, your life.

And so the both of you wait, seated shoulder to shoulder on the stairs of his porch. Gil's hand is warm on your knee, caressing the skin that peeks out of your distressed jeans. He wants you to stop bouncing your leg, you know it, it has always bothered him, how your stress showed up in micro-movements. You're making me nervous, ranger.

They come for your car fifteen minutes later, all leather cuts, no motorcycles and a single van. Coco, he tells you his name as he asks for your car keys. When you give it to him with a shaking hand, he tells you that everything is going to be fine, they'll take care of it. You believe him, you believe him because you trust Gil and he trusts them, but still, it feels like you are imposing, even when you know they have probably done this many times before.

Coco looks at Gil, a silent conversation you are not a part of, he notices his hand on your thigh, your busted lip.

‘’ We’re taking care of this, cariño. You're safe now. ‘’ Coco tells you.

You want to believe him, you really do. They leave after that, one car following the other, your secret with them. Yours and Gil's and theirs.

‘’ Don’t make a habit of this. ‘’

Gil’s eyes are back on you. He is joking, and it's funny, you laugh, but it doesn't come out like you want, choked in the throat.

‘’ I'm sorry, Gil. I know we haven't been talking much lately. I- ’’

He stops you, a large hand pressing the skin of your thigh.

‘’ Stop it. Whatever you need, you call, I'll answer. ‘’

You sigh and you allow your head to fall to his shoulder. You can’t remember the last time you had been this close, but it feels like you never left, a random night in a world where none of this would have happened. You thank him because there are no other words to make this right. You want to tell him that you owe him, that you will repent until this debt is paid, until he says you did enough to earn it back. His nose is in your hair and you can feel his chest move up and down with every breath. It had never been about that with him, he always took what you gave, broken pieces, burning ashes, wrapping it all up and giving it back to you fixed. You don’t remember when you started crying, silently sobbing against his arm, but he doesn’t mention it. He holds you, caressing your back with a hand, bringing you closer with the other one.

‘’ Stay with me tonight. ‘’ He whispers in your hair, ‘’ I won’t be able to sleep if you don’t. ‘’

That makes you cry harder. Deep inside of you, something is being fixed, an old war wound that had been buried for so long. I will, you tell him, just for tonight.

He doesn’t believe you, he knows you will get up from the bed the second he falls asleep, take your car that now smells like bleach and citrus, and ride out into the morning, away from him once again. When he rolls to your side of the bed in the morning, finding it cold and empty, he knew he was right. He was used to it, of course, a weird, silent arrangement between you two, that you would never be able to stay put for too long, but today, it hurts, pains him in a way it had never before.

‘’ ‘morning. ‘’

You pass the bathroom door that connects directly to his bedroom. Your hair is still damp from the shower, wearing a new set of his clothes on your back. He doesn’t say it back, he can’t, not when he suddenly doesn’t remember how to breathe, not when he can’t believe you actually stayed the night this time. You are here, and he is staring, he can’t look away.

‘’ I hope I didn’t wake you up. ‘’ You begin, ‘’ I just really wanted a shower, and then I heard Jacob in the kitchen, I… ‘’

You stop then, and he can tell that you have realized too, what he is thinking, why his eyes can leave your form. You try to speak again and explain, anything, but it doesn’t come out. Maybe there is no reason why today you chose to stay, out of all the others you could have. He can hear Rae in the living room, the sound of pans and the french toast that is being cooked in the kitchen. You silently walk to his side of the bed, offering him your hand. You smell like his soap and fresh coffee. He takes a deep breath as he reaches up for your palm, fingers lacing with your own as you finally swallow the lump in your throat.

‘’ Just for today then, yeah? ‘’

Your eyes are soft when he looks up, your smile meeting his own, already bright, unable to stop it from hurting his cheeks. Of course, he says, just for today. As many as you would like.

#gilly x reader #gilly lopez x reader #mayans mc imagine #mayans imagines #mayans fanfic #mayans imagine