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#i don’t even want the commitment rn I don’t think
isthisjackie · 2 years
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causticsunshine · 4 months
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#thinking about finishing my 1d fics again and while with one super old wip i figured out how to write it sans heavy ot5 friendship dynamic#the two sequel fics for ‘swear i’ve known you since forever’ in ATSCO series…. oooh i fear i am Fucked#it’s not that i have beef with ot5 fic really it just feels weird for me personally to be writing it so#heavy handedly this many years on? and controversial take mayhaps but there are still plenty super involved ot5 fans out there putting out#mmm weird vibes? delusional even? not all of them ofc#but enough that i’ve seen especially on twitter and iii don’t want the association just bc i kept the dynamic in a fic i wrote lmao#(also i have some thoughts and opinions on things and people i did not have in the past too so! that doesn’t help)#i think for ATSCO i’m just gonna have to commit because i am Not rethinking a whole new plot for that series 4 years down the line#especially after i rewrote the whole plot like 5 times as well as the first fic in the series several more times as well…..#i’m not doing it again!! i’m not!! so if i DO finish either one of these fics specifically. please know if ot5 element stays in#moreso in ATSCO than the other one which has remained a secret 4 years on#know what i stand for and who i am… i know this matters to few but me but i’m putting it out there nonetheless#it’s still gonna be a hot minute before any fics get finished bc where my interests are rn and my focusing on art but! i stand by my word#and my fics are still intended to be completed!#(also sidenote i am. no longer replying to any update inquiries on here or ao3! i’ve already said why in the past that they#stress me out rather than encourage me so i’m gonna leave it at that! i honestly might even start to delete them from my inbox / comments#just because they get to me that bad like i literally avoid ao3 because of it so. yeah! pls don’t send me update inquiries <3)#alex talks
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tojisun · 6 months
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sun, i am on my knees begging while typing rn. PLEASEEEEEE HURT DBF!SIMON BACK. he has hurt reader and gotten away with it tooooo many times
im kinda zooted rn but
beg more, sweet thing.
okok but im feeling mean rn and i do want simon to start regretting. i wonder if it’ll take seeing john price treating his girl right for him to snap out of it. imagine if he got blindsided. if simon assumed that you would never look for affection somewhere else, not because you’re unlovable—dear gods, you are the perfect girl—but because what you needed was someone like simon. someone older, someone who provides for you, who spoils you. but simon got complacent. he thought that sprinkles of affection are enough.
but they aren’t, are they? yes, the thrill had been addicting but you’ve gotten too soft. too in love. you’ve forgotten that this should have been temporary, forgotten that simon isn’t one for commitment. you thought you would continue to be trapped in that endless cycle of eating the scraps of simon’s affection; living off of a passion that gets easily snuffed out.
then, john came along. beautiful and rugged and ‘old man’ john. john whose eyes are a storm as they gazed at you; whose hands have never strayed closer, only swiping your hair away or drying the tears staining your cheeks; whose words are short and curt but gentle and soft, and you realized that the timbre of his voice fills you up with want.
john who strapped his helmet on yours and plopped you on the back of his harley before dropping you off at your dorm. john who didn’t ask for anything—not your number, not a chance to climb up with you to your room. he did not even ask if you were going to be alright—john knew you wouldn’t be, and he rather stay silent than ask you to lie to him.
you felt so out of your element as you stood there, trembling, looking at him.
“i-…thank you,” you said.
john said don’t worry about it. said don’t forget to drink lots of water because crying can cause dehydration, and don’t forget to grab a chew because he heard your stomach grumble on the ride home. you don’t tell him that you are starved for something else so you nod and climb upstairs to your room, thinking that was the last you would see john.
but john isn’t the type to let what he loves slip from his grasp so he began to fill your days. he’s always there when simon can’t—doesn’t—come, filling up the hole in your heart one fragment at a time. always there to distract you from the yawning in your chest. always there to listen to you, to watch you, to spoil you.
he smells of ozone and burnt rubber and petrol. he has weary lines on his face and unimaginable exhaustion buried within his irises. he has scars on his palms and his forearms and on his knees. and yet, he is gorgeous to you. so gorgeous.
john’s the one who tells you he loves you first. you don’t say it back. not yet. he understands.
then, simon confronts him. asks what he’s doing with you; why is he driving you around in his harley; why is he picking you up from uni.
why is he putting a wedge between you and simon?
john downs his bourbon and rumbles, “cause i love her.”
and simon fumbles because—
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lumi077 · 3 months
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X-Men HCs
A/N: my hyperfixations are not very hyperfixating rn. literally they’re changing so fast. But take some nice little relationship headcanons, and the next Chapter of Winters’ Servants is coming soon!!
Characters included: Logan (Wolverine), Scott (Cyclops), Kurt (NightCrawler), Jean
Warnings: potential OOC, nothing else really. kept it nice and light.
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Logan (Wolverine):
Logan would absolutely, if you use them, stretch out your new hairbands for you. If you express that you dislike using them unless stretched, he’ll offer to wear them on his wrists for a day or two till they’re stretched to your liking. It could be the most girly hair ties and he’ll proudly wear three on each wrist. When asked, he’ll happily tell them “Just stretchin ‘em for my woman/man/partner”
Scary dog privileges? Scary dog privileges. He adores making you feel safe enough to wear the most skin revealing or feminine clothing. You want to wear something revealing/very feminine but tell him you're scared? He’ll instantly assure you and tell you to wear anything you want. If someone says something, he won’t hesitate to shut them up before you even hear.
There’s going to be a point in your relationship that you’ll realize he absolutely doesn’t care about any of the gross stuff you do. Burp, Fart, don’t shave? He really doesn’t care in the least bit. Definitely the boyfriend that will go, unphased, into the bathroom while you're on the toilet and brush his teeth or shower without a care in the world. If you are comfortable that is, and he secretly preens when he realizes that you're comfy enough to do that stuff around him lol.
I wholeheartedly believe that when he realizes he wants you to be his forever partner, he’ll gift you his dog tags. His past is very personal to him, because he could never remember it for a good part of it. His dog tags are only second to him getting down on one knee. 
Speaking of getting down on one knee, sorry for all the people who want it to be a surprise, but he won’t make a big deal and will tell you about his plans beforehand. No surprise engagement, and no public one. Not because he doesn’t care, but because he wants to make sure you’re ready and want it too. He doesn’t put much on marriage because it doesn’t change much, and doesn't want you to feel pressured to say yes because there are people there. He’ll love you the same married or not, but he does note how pretty you look with the ring he bought you on your finger.
I personally believe he would be more likely to get in a committed relationship with another mutant. I just think a lot of the X-Men would want to be able to relate to their partner and have their partner relate to them, and Logan is going to live a long life so…I can't truly see him with a normal person. 
If you are apart of the X-Men, while he won’t baby you or anything, he finds himself keeping an eye on you the most. There have been a fair amount of times that you find yourself having a Logan shield on the field, and even more often if you are susceptible to projectiles. 
Dates are a norm at this point, Fridays are always the day he takes you out. It’s usually the same place, but he thinks it’s nice. 
Flowers are also a norm, if you mention you like them. 
He doesn’t do much on Valentine’s day because he already does all the normal valentine’s day stuff it weekly or bi-weekly. Does get cheat food so you guys can eat it and watch stupid rom com movies though. 
Scott (Cyclops):
First and Foremost Scott is such a golden retriever. Anything you want, he obtains quickly and with 0 thoughts of you getting him something in return. He just wants to see his partner happy and healthy, with a smile on their face as often as possible.
He is very big on PDA, likes to hold your hand, or slip an arm around your waist, put his hand in the back pocket of your jeans, etc. Overall he just likes touching you, and just because you're in public doesn’t mean anything.
Adding on to his liking of PDA, I feel like he’s possessive. Like in the one X-Men movie, when Logan goes into the past and stops bad shit from happening and goes to touch Jean and he blocks him? Yeah he does that with you but with everyone. He likes people knowing your his and what’s better than you two being attached at the hip in public?
He likes when you wear his things as well, not so much for people knowing you’re his like mentioned above but just because you're adorable in it. Want his sweatshirt? He’s giving it to you even though it's negative 5 out. His cologne? Just take the whole bottle, even though it’s brand new. He’ll get another one!!
When he’s on missions and away, he gives you so many shirts and even a pair of sweats. Sprays the stuffed animals he got you with his cologne, same with your pillows. He will expect the same if it’s you going away for a long time. Or you’ll come back to him sleeping on your side of the bed where it smells the most like you, his face stuffed in one of your pillows that has one of your shirts on it. 
He is very vocal about being your boyfriend, and you being his partner. Everyone in the world knows, yet no one asked. He’ll gush about you to whoever will listen, the rest of the team is so done but they do admit his devotion to you is adorable.
All the ladies and gents and nonbinary pals who want an over the top surprise proposal, this is your man. It’s super romantic, he pays for your nails if you wear them, getting your hair done, and a new outfit. And you can’t even tell it’s because he wants to propose because he does this all the time. Then he takes you to your fav restaurant and pops the question.
Make no mistake though, he has to be 100% sure that you want him to propose to do so. He’s so attuned to you and your likings he gets your dream ring without having to ask everyone close to you first. Which also assures him no one can spoil the surprise.
He is one of the few ones who probably doesn’t care if you're a mutant or not, because his love is 100% blind. He would probably want a mutant partner, but once he falls he falls hard.
He also won’t baby you if you’re in the X-Men, but if he happens to laser them first? Not his fault.
Kurt (NightCrawler):
He is a very shy partner at first. But once he falls for you, and you make it obvious you have fallen for him it all goes out the window. He is a completely different person around you, confident and flirty. He is just so in love. 
Teases you almost constantly, he’s a teaser with everyone but he loves to see you blush and squirm from his words. 
Loves if you run your fingers through his fur, and almost emits a low purr when you do. If you brush it for him, especially if he doesn’t ask you but you WANT to, he swears he is going to marry you one day. 
He takes you places you told him you wanted to go to when you guys were in the talking stage. Paris? Done, let’s get some baguettes for back home! The Bahamas? Pack a bathing suit, and make sure to bring the detangling brush.
He loves non sexual acts of intimacy, like taking baths together!! Your fingers feel like heaven on his scalp when you massage the shampoo and conditioner in his hair. He also loves touching your body, he’s always careful with the fact he has claws but he would never dream of hurting you.
Big on cuddling and all that stuff in private, but I feel like he would want to keep it behind closed doors. Not because he doesn’t love you, but because he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands on you otherwise. 
Long missions with him are never a problem, he’ll just teleport to you wherever you may be and spend time with you before heading back. 
He’s your call bird, and the gossip you two are able to share with one another? It is divine. He seems to know everything, and you know the most obvious stuff but he always makes you feel like Sherlock Holmes when you tell him things he already heard and was going to tell you about. Which is why he always makes you spill the tea first lol.
For marriage and proposing, I can see him accidentally proposing on a mission. Tensions are high, and he’s worried that one of you won’t make it home to the other. The thought alone makes him dread the upcoming battle, but he grabs your hand and looks into your eyes and states with all the conviction in the world “We’ll get married after this.”
You brush it off, after you both survive the battle, that he didn’t mean it. He just wanted you to know how much he loved you. But oh how wrong you are when you walk into a room with all your close friends and family, Kurt in the middle down on one knee and asking you to marry him. Your face was priceless, and lucky for him everyone took pictures. 
He definitely carries around a photo with you wherever he goes, and when he prays he takes it out and not only asks that God protect him, but you as well because there is no life beyond you. Even if you’re not religious he’ll still do it, just for the peace of mind. 
Jean:
She’s the black cat of the relationship for sure. I mean, she has a lot of issues but she always makes you her first priority. 
She keeps tabs on you constantly. What’s your mood, why? She’ll talk to you in your mind when you’re anxious to calm you, and let you know that she’s there with you. She’s probably an anxious persons’ best friend. You don’t even have to talk, she knows what you mean and changes accordingly. 
She is big on communication for sure. If you do something that bothers or hurts her feelings she will sit you down and talk to you about it. And she has this certain way of doing that doesn’t make you feel guilty. She’s just letting you know what she does and doesn’t like and won’t tell anyone else. These things are very private to her. And she expects you to do the same, and her feelings are never hurt by it. 
Jean’s type of love is selfless. She would put herself in danger tenfold just to keep you safe. Mutant or not, she would be the one to baby you if you’re a part of the X-Men as well. There’s always a kind of bubble around you, that not many but you notice. Hence, people think you’re indestructible because you’re the only one who came back uninjured for the fourth time. 
She wants to be independent, but also loves when you do stuff for her. She will never ask, but her heart warms so much when she sees you did something for her because you wanted too and not because she asked. 
She plans your dream proposal. She is almost a roommate in your own mind, she knows what you like and don’t like. 
Small extra blurb: imagine giving telepathic hints that you want a proposal. She thinks “Why are they broadcasting their ring si-ooooh. I see.”
She is so gentle with you, almost afraid that you’ll break and it’ll be all her fault. The way her hands gently caress you or how she holds your hand is so incredibly gentle.
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thehighladywrites · 2 months
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— “I’m just a girl!”
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☀︎ — pairing: nerd/tutor azriel x bimbo/ditzy reader
☀︎ — summary: you tell azriel you don’t know what taxes are, and that you haven’t filed them ever
☀︎ — warnings: fluff, dramatic reader, azriel being sweet and educational
☀︎ — amara’s note: man i wish i was her rn💔 also this is so fucking real bc what on earth are taxes???
series masterlist
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“Baby, please, you have got to grasp the gravity of this situation. Not filing your taxes is no joke. You could end up behind bars for tax evasion! There was a whole mandatory course last semester, didn’t you take it?” Azriel's tone is firm, his concern painted all over his face as he stands infront of you.
When you revealed that you didn't know what taxes were or how to "file" them, Azriel got worried sick, emphasizing the importance of understanding basic responsibilities like this.
He brought you into the living room, seated you on the sofa, and stood in front of you, carefully explaining step by step why not filing taxes was illegal and how to fix the situation. However, no matter how hard you try, you can't focus on his words, your attention completely consumed by his built muscles. Your mind goes blank as you find yourself daydreaming about him taking off his shirt.
Azriel knows you’re not focusing on his words, he knows you’re ogling his body, and even though he gets warm and loves it, he needs you to focus on the topic, at least for a few minutes.
“Are you paying attention, baby?”
You honestly don’t get it at all. Like, if they take tax from you when you’re shopping, shouldn’t they already know how much you owe or whatever? And who even are the IRS? Can’t you just live your life without all this complicated stuff? Why does Azriel have to make everything so...ugh, what's the word? Complicated?
“Oh my god, Azzie! Stop it, I don’t wanna do this and I don’t understand anything. Please, I’m just a girl!” you exclaim dramatically pulling your knees to your chest as you hide your face in your hands, tears prickling in your eyes. You’re feeling completely overwhelmed by the situation and the sheer thought of dealing with stupid taxes.
Azriel sighs deeply, his brows furrowing as he takes off his glasses and rubs the bridge of his nose. If he doesn’t have a gray hair by the end of the week, he’ll consider it a win. As much as he wants you to understand what is wrong with basically committing a crime, he doesn’t want you crying, he feels sick to his stomach seeing you so sad but he just has to fucking ask.
“You’re—You're just a girl— sweetheart, what does that even mean?” he asks gently, completely flabbergasted by your statement.
You fold your arms over your chest, chin held high as you say, “Ya heard me, m’just a girl. And that means i should not be doing any of this, i should be living my best life instead of thinking about whatever taxes are.”
Azriel just looks at you with raised eyebrows, man you’re stressing him the fuck out. Luckily he caught your illegal activities early otherwise you would have gone to prison for sure. Even though he thinks it was ridiculous for a person to have never done their taxes ever, he doesn’t hold you against it. He just slumps his shoulders, taking a breather. Azriel can never be mad at you, never at his sweet angel. Especially not when you look so upset, big sparkly eyes looking at him with worry.
It’s in that moment. That tiny moment, he decides to never confront you with your mistakes. Sure you almost went to jail, but Azriel is here now. He is intelligent enough to think about the more serious issues for the both of you. And he will for the rest of his life, not because he has to, but because he wants to. He wants to take care of you.
“You’re right, my love, you shouldn’t worry about this. I’ll take care of it,” Azriel assures you, his tone gentle as he tucks a strand behind your ear.
You look up at him, eyes shiny with unshed tears as your face lights up before you stand up and jump into his arms, showering his face with kisses, your excitement bubbling over.
“Awe, you're the best baby, I love you so, so, soooo much!” you exclaimed, your words flowing freely in your ditzy excitement.
He laughs shyly, still getting nervous when you show him affection. “I love you too, beautiful.”
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gamerwoo · 4 months
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dumb/random things skz would do while ur dating
a/n: don’t ask me what this is or why i came up w it these are just Thoughts That I Have Sometimes 
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chan: if he has spare time and gets bored, he’ll splice up voicemails or voice messages you’ve sent him to make you say random shit and then he sends it to you out of nowhere with absolutely zero context. it could be anywhere from the raunchiest, dirtiest things you’ve ever heard, to just straight up dumb things, to him making you say how amazing and great he is and how much you love him. either way, he thinks he’s hilarious
minho: literally just stares at you for no reason. you’re on your phone across the room and he’s staring. just deadpan staring. and once you notice and make eye contact he gives you a mean look like you were staring at him first and he’s mad about it. even after you look away, he’s still staring. if you ask what he wants he’ll be like “why tf are you staring at me?? get a hobby, freak”
changbin: actually expects you to open doors for him and pull out his chair and lay your jacket out over a puddle. if you don’t, he just stares at you and eyes the thing he wanted you to do for him. obviously you’d never put your jacket over a puddle when he could literally walk around it but he’ll scoff and dramatically roll his eyes and make some comment about “guess romance really is dead” or something dumb
hyunjin: maybe he used to actually sketch you really nicely at one point but now he’s comfortable with you and now the only times he draws you is a really rough and quick sketch that’s so poorly done and it’s always you making ugly faces and he just slides it over to you and goes “this is you rn" and it’s you looking very pissed off and with a unibrow and you’re shrimp-backing so hard
jisung: keeps making those powerpoint presentations for you about different topics but he only makes them between like 11pm-3am so the farther into it he gets, the weirder it gets and the less sense it makes. usually the topics don’t really make sense either, though. like the time he showed you ‘101 reasons why you should still love me as a worm :)’. but there was the time he presented you with ‘69 reasons why i love you’ and even though 25% of them were weird things like ‘your breath smells normal’ and ‘you haven’t committed a felony so i don’t have to have a long distance relationship with someone in prison’ you still thought it was pretty sweet
felix: if you think he won’t act like those cringey gamer couples, you’re so fucking wrong. whether he’s doing it ironically or seriously, he’s going to drag you into his shenanigans. your names on different games have to match. they’ve been shit like ‘their dps / his pocket’ and 'grilled cheese / tomato soup’ to unhinged things like ‘mike huchie / mike hunt’ and ‘blowing smoke / smoke’. he always thinks it’s so fucking funny but you want to die. your discord names are ‘their daddy / his kitten’ and whenever you change it, he changes it back
seungmin: he does literally anything and pretends it wasn’t him. plays with your hair while you’re cooking dinner, but when you turn to look at him, he looks around and starts whistling. he’ll knock your closed water bottle straight out of your hand for no reason and then shrug at you like it was the fucking wind. even when he kisses your cheek he’ll gasp and be like “who did that?”
jeongin: he’ll act cute or whatever when he wants something but god forbid you do it back. the amount of judging he’ll do will make you want to leave the house. “please don’t ever do that again, you’re embarrassing me” as if you didn’t just copy everything he’s ever done to you. he’s gone so far as to pretend he doesn’t know you out in public over this. only he can be cute to get his way. if you do it, it’s cringe
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danibeanie · 4 months
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your gonna remember me
Astrology observations (synastry)
the wounded healer chiron😋
-people you have chiron synastry are usually people that your never gonna forget. Wether it be a good or bad ending there is always gonna be a hidden feeling of what ifs between the 2.
Moon conjunct Chiron synastry = hidden feelings of confession we both feel something for each other but it just can’t happen. (1st BOY I REALLY liked and I just knew he liked me 2 but he was leaving for college out of state and we both knew it wasn’t gonna happen)
Mercury conjunct Chiron synastry=hurt through the topic of communication.usually didn’t care to communicate. (2nd boy that hurt me with not caring to fix things on how they went down.. all he had to do is apologize.)
Where your Chiron is also depends on how this synastry play out- for me this synastry occurs in my 9th house which rules travel and school… how this occurred for me was one person is always leaving wether it be graduating school and going their separate ways or getting a scholarship and leaving the state meaning I CANT SEE THEM😍
Saturn synastry oh boy.
-a man usually has his saturn conjuncting my planets and while it is good for long term it’s also hard if you don’t have any saturn aspects in your chart or saturn energy in general. Your gonna feel a bit trapped and they’ll probably remind you of your parents somehow lmao.
There’s always a age difference in this synastry wether it be 2 years ,4, or even 1 the Saturn person will want to commit to you and will feel the need to stick by you. Way stronger if they have Capricorn or Aquarius placements.
These people are usually karmic (Saturn ruling karma) and these people just come into your life outta nowhere 😭 mostly needed.
natal venus retrograde rant :/
-It’s so hard having this in your chart because every person you’ve ever had a bond with or romantic partnership will always affect you WAY MORE than it should. we take relationships to the extreme and it’s so easy to get disappointed from people that don’t reciprocate how much we give and give. I’ve learned that the hard way and so many call us guarded and bit cold but just know it’s cause of past hurt. LITERALLY PAST HURT 😭.
NN synastry
-NOW THIS ONE… I had my Venus conjunct a guys north node and it felt so free and easy going yet terrifying and a bit uncomfortable. The north node is what we’re trying to learn in this life and people that put planets in it usually give a lesson to learn built off of the planet. in this case I had a relationship (Venus)with NN and it didn’t last long, we both got hurt in the end but I know that this was meant to happen AS A LESSON. I felt like the best version of myself and you can just be yourself. The nn perosn had a HUGE crush on me and u can feel the pure admiration from the nn🥲
I’ve been in both sides b4 and I have a man’s Venus conjunct my nn rn and I just wanna give and give to him. His Venus falls into my 12th house where this conjunction occurs but it’s also unconditional support and It’s a bond-like no other.
The planet person and any axis points that conjunction another north node will always help you in your path. Neither will forget but the nn person will always be thankful for the planet person for pushing them to where they are now.
In conjunction synastry😀
-you know that saying opposites attract well yeah this is literally OPPOSITES ATTRACT. When you date someone you have inconjunction with *cough *cough (gemini and capricorn) it can give u a doozy. I can literally write essays about this dynamic but I’ll keep it short and sweet. If you ever get into a relationship with someone that has Inconjunction with most of your planets and add this with 4th house and 8th house synastry…. Its something both of you will learn from. You’ll think back at this relationship and be like wow I dated him?!?😭
some background info I was a senior in highschool and even though I knew people I wasn’t super popular like at all lmao. this guy that was known to be a huge player and just super attractive had a huge crush on me since forever. We ended up dating and that was my 1st ever thing with anyone and let’s just say I got hurt obviously but I left. So many people questioned this relationship “she’s so nice” and “he’s so cocky” well yeah. It’s just 2 different people that are attracted to each other but just think too differently to make it work.
What makes this so strong is that we both really don’t know how this person acts. It’s like with opposition even though their opposites there’s similar traits. Inconjunction just screams going into a job you’ve never worked at and just learning everything on the spot.😭
8th house synastry
If a man’s planets fall into your 8th house just know that they want u so bad. LMAO JK no but actually they want to know everything about you and the attraction is off the charts with this one. - the boy from earlier had his sun in my 8th house and the tension between us was something I never felt b4. I felt uncomfortable and rushed. He was shining light on this relationship he wanted with me and I felt like he could see right thru me. (I have Pluto in the 8th house so I felt like my boundaries where even higher.) if you’ve never interacted with your 8th house sign your either gonna make the worst enemies of them or the bestest friends. 8th house also rules 1st when it comes to anything sexual. He was my 1st kiss
I have so much more to say but I’ll save it for another post and thank you guys for the likes on my last post!😙💘
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sweatervest-obsessed · 5 months
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Spencer Blurb!
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
WC: 500
A/N: I am in the trenches with finals rn so I needed something positive to think about as well as a distraction from what I should be doing.
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“I’m starting to realize why people commit murder.” You grumbled to yourself. 
Honestly, you were a sight to see. You had claimed the living room of your apartment with Spencer and books were everywhere. Your laptop was front and center and papers were scattered about as if a storm had come through. 
Spencer peeked his head out of your bedroom, eyebrows furrowed. “I’m sorry, what.” 
The frustrated sigh that left your lips almost knocked the curiosity right out of him. 
“It’s just…” 
Spencer had met you in the Boston Public Library, where you had been writing a paper for one of your classes, and you couldn’t find the statistics you needed. Enter Lover Boy with all your answers. He was only nineteen, completing his third Bachelors over at MIT and you were a sophomore over at Harvard, studying psychology. You were slated to graduate a whole year early, but it wasn’t your intellect that drew Spencer to you, it was your charm, the way you spoke your mind. 
You said anything and everything to him, and he wanted to listen to every single thing you said. You started dating six months later. You ended up following him down to DC a little while after that, and supported him while he completed his first Doctorate. You loved living with him, even when his life got hectic, even when he decided he wanted to go fight crime for a living. 
So when six years later, you’re working on your Ph.D at Georgetown, and you said you understood why people murdered others, Spencer wasn’t sure he wanted to keep listening. 
“Just what.” He walked over and sat down next to you, taking into account the four cups of coffee, three mugs of tea, a banana, two empty Panera bags, and a myriad of gum wrappers. “When’s the last time you left the apartment?” 
“Like a week ago, when I wasn’t trying to finish my fucking draft of my dissertation. I don’t know how the fuck you did this Spence.” 
Spencer kissed your head and took your hand. “Why don’t you go to the library or something. Get out of here for a bit. Go on a walk.” 
“I’d go to the library if you came with me.” You smirked a little bit as you fixed his tie, causing his cheeks to blush at the memories you were reminding him off. 
“Thats–that’s not what I meant.” 
“That’s why I suggested it.” You kissed his cheek, and looked back at your laptop, the moment of joy on your face disappearing. “Can’t you take the day off Spence?” 
He started to shake his head, but then saw just how exhausted and overworked you were. “I—give me a minute.” 
Spencer kissed your head and went into the bedroom, where you heard him make a call to Hotch, claiming he needed the sick day. 
You smiled and started to clean up your space, excited to spend the day away from your work, and with your favorite person.
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lis-likes-fics · 7 months
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w1sh u were here
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Pairings: Hobie Brown x Reader Word Count: 809 words Kink: Sexting Warnings: NSFW, sexting, sending nudes, technically pornography?, swearing, dirty texting... A/N: I lied, I am posting today bc I managed to pull something out of my ass. I hope you enjoyed this short fic bc the hardest thing about this was making all of Hobie's texts. I am a firm believer in Hobie being a terrible texter bc he doesn't commit to one style, and I hate him for it. Enjoy this fluffy smut. <3
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hobes: I can’t stop thinking about you, luv.
you: oh yeah? what are you thinking about?
hobes: jus wonderin wut ur wearin 😘
you: your hoodie
hobes: and?
you: nothing.
You sent an image.
hobes: fuck… hobes: You look fuckin amazing in my clothes babe
you: thx bby
hobes: you’d look even better without em tho. Just sayin
you: you tryna get me to send nudes, perv?
hobes: Maybe…😉 hobie: w1sh u were here rn
you: me too
you: what would you do if i was?
hobes: i’d kiss you. a lot. i’d never stop kissing you luv hobes: And, after that, I’d play with your nipples and listen to you start to moan. I’d be so hard for you, sweetheart…
you: yeah?
hobes: yea. id suck on ur tits and feel how wet u were for me.
you: how would you touch me?
hobes: Id put my fingers in your tight pussy, feel you up nice and good, rub at your little clit. hobes: You’d be fucking soaking, I know it. I’d eat you up, darling. hobes: tell me wut u want me to do to u luv
you: everything you said. want you to kiss me, want you to touch me, want your tongue on my tits and your fingers in me.
hobes: want me to eat you up?
you: yes
hobes: I’d make you feel so good. You’d be moaning so loud for me.
you: i wanna ride your face, hobie
hobes: i want you to ride my face
you: guess what?
hobes: wut?
you: i’m touching myself.
hobes: fuck. for me?
you: all for you.
You sent a video. “Fuck, Hobie. Wish you were here…”
hobes: chr1st u sound so pretty when u rub ur cl1t l1ke that
hobes sent a video. “I need your pretty little pussy over here, sweetheart. See what you do to me?���
you: fuck, you’re so hard you: you know what i wanna do?
hobes: Tell me.
you: wanna get on my knees and suck you off.
hobes: yeah?
you: yeah. i wanna feel your hands in my hair when i suck your cock. want you to call me your good girl.
hobes: u r my good girl, babes. ur my best fukn girl.
you: fuck, i’m so wet for you, hobie. wish you were here to touch me. my fingers don’t work as well as yours do…
hobes: Can’t get em far enough? You need my fingers to stretch you out nice and wide?
you: yeah. you: want you to pin me to a wall and fuck me
hobes: fuck youd love that wouldnt you? hobes: I’d pin your hands above your head and kiss you, turn you around and hold onto your beautiful fucking hips. You’d be squirming when I put my cock in you. hobes: Youd be beggin me to fuck you darling and youd be moanin like fuckin crazy for me, Id hold your tits and keep you still while I fucked you from behind and you would scream when you came on my cock. Id just keep fuckin you too hobes: still with me luv?
you: hard to type with one hand
hobes: gonna fucken take you to bed and put your legs on my shoulders. fold you in half while i fucked you babes. you’d be all messy for me.
you: i’m messy for you right now
You sent an image. “Mmm. Ah, I need you, baby. Fuck, m-yeah…”
you: this pussy’s missing you, baby
hobes: this dick’s missing you hobes: I’m gonna cum, sweetheart.
you: me too you: hobie i’m so close.
hobes: will you send me another pic baby?
You sent a video. “Hobie! Hobie, I’m cumming!  Fuck, I miss you so much. Ahhh, fuck!”
hobes sent a video. “Fuck. Mm-mmh, fuck. Yeah. Oh, fuck, yeah! Oh, sweetheart.” hobes sent an image.
you: fuck, hobie
hobes sent a voice message. “I love you, sweetheart. Wish you were here so I could show you how much. You make me so happy and you get me so hard, and I can’t wait to see you soon so I can kiss that pretty face you’ve got. Love you so much, darling.”
You sent a voice message. “I love you, too, baby. I can’t wait to see you either because, when I do, I’m kissing you so hard, you’ll pass out.” You sent a voice message. “Get some sleep… I know you have to  go to 928 tomorrow, and you’ll come see me after. I’ll be waiting for me. I love you.”
hobes: i luv u 2 bby
you: your typing is atrocious.
hobes: Thank you.
you: goodnight, bayb
hobes: “bayb”
you: shut the fuck up.
hobes: make me 😍
you: you make me sick.
hobes: I love you, too. Night.
you: night. go to sleep now.
hobes: no <3
You changed “hobes” to “hobo”.
hobo: :(
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Tag yourself here...
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weirdmageddon · 7 months
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i posted this on twitter also but it’s still eating at me. i’m so fucking embarrassed to be jewish rn. i dont want to be associated with this ongoing bullshit from israel. why do we need our own state. theyre just making every jew across the globe look bad in general even though many of us are conflicted about zionism and the legitimacy of israel as a state
people have hated jews throughout history for no fuckin reason but now israel exists but now its like. GIVING people reasons to hate us as a group. note that i DON’T conflate zionism with jewishness, but a lot of people in the world don’t know the difference because theyre uninformed and been dripfed cultural antisemitic tropes their whole life and that’s the scary part is them falsely putting two and two together. like what the fuck israel stop youre just putting fuel on the fire for people around the world to hate an entire group of historically persecuted people if youre being this shitty with your insane colonialism and apartheid like……I Want No Fuckin Part Of This. you’re spelling our own doom. you cant just swoop in and go “mine now” and then oppress the people you took land from under a regime without my blood boiling at the injustice no matter WHO you are. even if my lineage is tied to you. so when news outlets support israel it doesn’t feel like they have the best interest of jews as a people in mind. it’s in the interest of a zionist ethnostate and whatever that christian zionism belief is about the jewish people returning to the holy land as prerequisite for the second coming of jesus. its not like they care about us as a dispersed ethnocultural group, it’s all for that religious narrative that a bunch of people in the US are backing.
saying you want all jews to die is antisemitic. beating someone up because they’re jewish and no other reason without knowing their views is antisemitic. criticizing human rights violations perpetrated by israel and the belief that one group deserves more rights another is not antisemitic. and the fact that israel has the ability to pull that antisemitism card in response to criticisms of the violations they commit because their state is the “jewish homeland” drives me fucking insane. take fucking accountability for your actions. and yes, there do exist full-on anti-jewish groups in the middle east that go beyond hatred of israel’s policies and existence as a state and i’m tired of people pretending there aren’t in fear of appearing to seem like they support the state of israel. on the other side of things many people overestimate this by fearmongering and saying EVERY arab is out to get jews worldwide, telling people like me “they want YOU dead”. this is not the belief every person in the middle east and it really rubs me the wrong way that people group millions of individuals into all-encompassing lumps like this. many people there do understand nuance of this political situation.
even if i have that “right of return” by israeli law or whatever, i don’t feel obliged to it; it does not register as fair. why do i have a “right of return” when i’ve never even been there in the first place while palestinians who have homes there can’t return to them? what’s the basis for that? substituting objective reality with an imaginary reality? i don’t think like that. i can hypothetically come and go whenever i please but palestinians are severely limited in mobility? what makes me more entitled to that land than the people who lived there for centuries? nothing that comes from natural law thats for sure. it’s all artificial and inflated.
but at the same time i also dont want to be the target of antisemitism and caught in the fray just for being ethnically jewish. once people start calling for the genocide of entire groups we’ve got issues (and you better believe this absolutely applies to the palestinian victims in gaza too), because people who dissent to the violence perpetrated by the loudest are caught in there with the people who are perpetrating the violence. lack of nuance. people conflating israel and its zionist apartheid policies with jewish ethnicity and culture worldwide. other people conflating being terrorist anti-jew with muslims worldwide (like that 6-year old palestinian-american boy that was just stabbed to death in chicago). scary times man. but as a jew i can’t just opt out of this if it’s how i was born as. i don’t have control over that. but i can control what i think and what my beliefs are
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yeonjuns-beanie · 2 years
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The Black Cat
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Warnings: 18+, smut, unprotected sex, friends to lovers?, soft dom!eddie (reader and eddie tease each other but they actually are in love with each other and hate it), hair pulling, sex on someone else’s bed, slight hand kink, begging, alcohol consumption, think that’s it
summary: you and eddie are practically in love with each other, but don’t dare admit it. When the two of you run into each other at steve’s halloween party and he catches a glimpse of your costume, the dams holding back your guys’ pride, break. 
Eddie x female reader
a/n: once again the wip beats my ass by taking weeks to finish. in honor of october, we have a halloween fic! i hope whoever comes across this enjoys it. And as always, requests n asks are open rn! ~ nero
Word count: 4.8k
It was finally your favorite time of year. Ever since the end of August, you’d been preparing for a moment like this to arise. You had finally gathered all of the materials for your costume and you couldn’t wait to wear it. As you stared at yourself in the mirror, trying to get your makeup as accurate as possible, you gently dipped your paintbrush into the small dollop of paint you laid out on a paper towel. 
You glanced down at your comic book one last time before committing the mask to memory and fully trusted your process. Dragging the pointed, wet, smooth brush across your cheeks and circling your eyeballs, you made the most challenging pass going across the bridge of your nose. As you made the pass to the other side of your face, you let out the breath you'd been holding since the moment the brush touched your face. 
Completing the same look on the other side of your face, you made sure that both sides were even and looked like a mask. Stepping back, you glanced over your appearance in search of any minor flaws that you could fix before you left the bathroom for good. Filling out the outer edges of the mask you washed the brush off in the sink and threw away the towel with the paint on it. You touched up your eye makeup a bit more before you were finally satisfied with your outcome. 
Turning the light out in the bathroom, you walked down the hallway to your bedroom. Laying on your bed was the latex jumpsuit that you had tailored with white fur around the collar and up the forearm of the sleeves. You changed into a no-show thong, wanting the least amount of your undergarments to be visible while you were in the suit. Strapping yourself in the biggest push-up bra you had, you situated your boobs so that they were on the brink of spilling out of the cup. 
Walking back to the latex suit, you slithered your body into the material, wiggling the fabric over your thick thighs and regrettably over your ass. Something that you failed to think about before deciding your costume of the year. As you bounced into the suit, you finally got it over the thickest part of your body and relaxed as you pulled your arms through the sleeves. 
Zipping up the front of the suit, you turned to look in the mirror. 
“This has to be my best one yet.” 
You were more than satisfied. The latex hugged your curves in all the right places, showing off every beautiful asset you had to offer. The material was suffocating your tits but you couldn’t care less. The spillage of your cleavage being just enough. As you grabbed your heeled boots, you ran back into the bathroom to touch up your lipstick and you went downstairs. 
Sitting on the last few steps, you pulled your boots up your calves, carefully zipping them up to make sure to not catch any of the suit. As you stood up your mom came from around the corner, eyes widening at your appearance. 
“Y/n! Wow, honey, I think this has to be your best costume yet.” 
“Thanks, mom.”
“Seriously, you look stunning. Is that Eddie boy gonna be there?” 
Your jaw dropped and you slowly turned your head to look at her again. You dramatically called out to her
“Moomm! I don’t wanna think about him.” 
“I don’t know why you don’t just go up to him. You’ve been crushing on him since high school and somehow he hasn’t caught up yet.” 
You sighed, mulling over the time you missed out on. 
“Maybe he just doesn’t like me.”
“I don’t think that’s it. I think the two of you jump at each others throats too much that that now has become the language you guys flirt with. But, Jesus, y’all are dense.”
Your mom chuckled, having the time of her life picking on you about how long you’ve dragged out this crush of yours. It had to have been one of her favorite pastimes. While you spoke, you finished packing what you needed in your clutch and sighed once more trying to rid yourself of all your anxieties. Before you could announce your leave, your mom spoke up again. 
“And! If he does happen to be there, there’s no way he’s gonna be able to keep his eyes off of you. Use that to your advantage and maybe live a little! Play into the character you're dressed as and for once in your life, flirt!” 
You pressed out a small smile and giggled through your nose. You shook your head knowing that your mom was right. Holding it in wasn’t gonna do you any favors. 
“Now don’t let me hold you up, have fun and be safe. If you drink just crash there I don’t wanna have to find you on the morning news.” 
“I will, mom. See you later.”
As you walked out of the house, the echo of your heels followed you closely behind. Once situated in your car, you reached over into your glove box and pulled out your CD case. Flipping through the iridescent discs, you found one that you felt fit the mood of the evening. You started the car, slipped the disc through the reader and waited for the music to begin flooding your speakers. 
Before you backed out of the driveway, you skipped to your favorite song. The opening guitar riff immediately threw a smile on your face and as Danny Elfman’s voice rang through your car you began your drive singing along to the song. 
“I’m all dressed up with nowhere to go.” 
Steve’s house wasn’t far from yours so you enjoyed the drive down there. With the windows rolled down and the air winding through your hair, you felt a certain type of new life breathe through you. You ran over the thought of Eddie being there and as much as you claimed to hate him, having him tease you every chance he got kinda made you feel butterflies. Deep down you knew you wanted more, you were just weary about your approach to the situation. 
“Walking with a dead man over my shoulder!” 
You sped around a few corners, screaming the lyrics to Dead Man’s Party like no one else was around in the world to hear you. Driving through the neighborhood, you finally reached Steve’s house. There were cars littered in front of his house and in the surrounding area. The music was vibrating out through the walls of the house and you were more than excited to step inside. 
Before exiting your car, you checked yourself in your car mirror one last time. You fluffed your hair, making sure that there were no pieces looking unnecessarily flat and you touched up your lipstick. Stepping out of your car, you locked the door and began the trek up to the front door. As you walked through his driveway you noticed a particularly familiar van parked up front. Your stomach dropped to the pavement, and a slight bang of fear was quickly quelled by panicked excitement. Too many emotions were present but you wanted him to see you like this. It had to happen.
Ringing and knocking on the door, you swang your body back and forth waiting for someone to answer. You were about to reach for the doorbell one more time but the door opened. Standing there was Steve, dressed as a zombie, his lopsided smile turning into a full grin. Behind him you noticed a mop of brown hair dangling a lollipop over Steve’s hair. 
“C’mon Harrington, I know you wanna try it.” 
The long mullet came into full view and you realized it was your man of the hour. Steve moved his body to the side to let you in while trying to swat Eddie’s hand away. You caught a glimpse of the the lollipop and noticed something stuck in the middle of it. 
“Munson, get the fuckin bug pop away from me.” 
Eddie flicked his eyes over to you getting ready to make you his next victim. Smiling wickedly at you and showcasing his fangs. The tips of them being painted red for added effect. 
When his body turned toward you fully, his eyes widened and took you in like he never had before. If it was cartoon, his eyes would’ve flown out of his head as he jumped in the air. He tried his best to cover his slip up but you caught every face he made and for the sake of his integrity, decided to keep your teasing at bay. 
You shut the door behind you and came a little closer to Eddie slyly showing yourself off to him. You bent down, staring at the lollipop to see what kind of bug was encased inside the hardened sugar. Stretching back up, you caught Eddie’s eyes follow your body up. Steve laughed out loud and you whipped your head toward him. 
“God damn, Munson! Your eyes are are about to pop out of your head!”
Eddie’s head turned towards Steve shooting him a warning glare that you couldn’t see behind his mane of hair. Steve motioned for all of you to walk down the hallway and into the mainroom of the house where all the festivities were taking place. You trailed behind the two of them keeping your eye on Eddie and the playful hits taking place between the two. Stopping in the kitchen, you noticed a tub of red liquid with different fruit slices littered throughout. 
You pushed through the two boys and grabbed one of red solo cups stacked on the side fo the bin. Filling your cup up to the brim, you took a chug of the liquid downing at least half the cup before looking back and Steve and Eddie. 
“God damn, that is strong! Who made that?”
Steve laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. 
“That would be me. Yeah, I uh pretty much just had this geriatric here grab every clear bottle he saw.” 
Eddie slowly turned to Steve, eyes narrowed and his brows furrowed.
“Geriatric? I’ve only got a year and a half on you, dude.”
“All of that is true, but considering you and y/n are the only ones who can legally buy this shit, geriatric it is. If we get one more of you guys in here it’ll be bordering a nursing home.”
You laughed, your arm reaching across the counter to hit Steve in his arm. 
“Dude, shut up. I’m not even that old.”
“I don’t know y/n, you’re inching on cougar territory.”
You rolled your eyes, amused by his antics. Letting your laugh settle, you grabbed a slice of fruit from your cup and took a bite. As you pulled the fruit away from your mouth, a bit of the liquor dripped off and rolled down the valley of your breasts. Steve was quick to turn around and grab a paper towel for you. As you set your cup down on the counter, you missed the way Eddie was gawking at you. What you also didn’t catch was the warning hit Steve gave Eddie before your eyes rolled back up to face them. 
“I’m lucky that didn’t land on my fur.” 
Steve was rolling his lips around his teeth and found this to be the perfect opportunity to leave you and Eddie alone. If neither one of you were going to make a move then he was gonna throw you two in a situation where you couldn’t help but be around each other. 
“I’m gonna go look for Robin real quick. I told her I’d give her one of the weird suckers this nut kept waving around in my face. I’ll be back”
Grabbing the lollipop from off the counter, Steve faded into the crowd of people in his house and you and Eddie were left alone in the kitchen. You had a quick memory of your mom telling you to flirt, but you didn’t wanna make it obvious. So you went to what you know best. 
“Nice costume you got there. It’s almost like it’s your regular clothes.”
Eddie looked at you cocking his head, less than amused by your comment. 
“Well actually, if you took the time to actually watch The Lost Boys like I told you, you would see that I’m perfectly in character. Fangs and all.”
This was an easy open for you, you just had to go for it. You prayed that you wouldn’t stumble over you words because you knew he would never let you live it down. Almost out of character for you, the words left your mouth smoothly. 
“Well maybe you should have me over and we’ll watch it together. ‘Cause you know I’m not gonna watch it on my own.” 
He laughed, silently thanking you for your forwardness. 
“Why are you like that, huh? Gotta be forced into doing shit. Is that a kink or soemthing for ya?” 
You looked at him with raised eyebrows and gazed at him out the side of your eye, hoping that he got the hint you were giving him. Eddie looked back at you with his eyes widened, a knowing look overcoming his features. You back pedaled trying to lighten the weight of the situation, not entirely prepared for the sexual banter.
“I’m just playing…maybe.”
“Maybe, huh? Well what if you’re not playing, then what?” 
You toyed with the rim of your cup debating how you were going to lead this conversation down the road you’ve been dreaming of. Looking up at him through your lashes, you bit the corner of your lip. 
“I was hoping you’d show me.” 
The room became suffocatingly small and the music was muffled. All you could see was Eddie and all you could hear was your heart rate and his breath speeding up.
“Me?”
Eddie’s voice pitched up, confusion clear in his tone. He couldn’t believe that you of all people wanted him. Sure, he had his crush on you but never did he think the feeling would be reciprocated. You nodded, your eyes doe-like and soft. His eyes raked over your form one last time before his hand laid over your own, intertwining his fingers with yours. 
“Shall we find an empty room and I can show what it’s like to take a vampire to bed.” 
He wiggled his eyebrows at you and suddenly you were wondering why you dreaded making this moment a reality for so long. Why you feared what the outcome would be when subconsciously you already knew. One of you just needed to play into the other because God knows, the two of you were unfathomably dense. A smile brighter than the sun lit up your face and rubbed off on Eddie, grinning at you before grabbing your hand and leading you towards the upstairs. 
Scanning the doors upstairs, you both were looking for one that was open. A straight shot down the hall, you saw a room with the door wide open. You followed Eddie trying your best to keep your footsteps quick and quiet in fear of someone hearing your heels echo to the downstairs. 
Once in the doorway of the room, you were relieved to find a bed in there. The room was mostly dark but you made out the silhouette of a lamp on top of one of the pieces of furniture in the room. Flicking it on you turned around only to find Eddie inches away from your face. 
Eddie grabbed your hand and led you toward the bed, twirling your bodies around so that your legs hit the back of the bed first. As your body flopped onto the mattress, you scooted yourself back so that Eddie was forced to crawl to you, hover over you. Looking up at him, you were searching his eyes for any change in emotion or hesitation. When you found none, you found your voice. 
“Kiss me, please?” 
When his lips found yours, fireworks of adoration and lust exploded in your chest and between your legs. Your breathing became more labored and your kiss more greedy. You traced your tongue across his bottom lip and he granted you permission instantly. As your tongues battled for dominance you fisted at his hair trying to bring him closer to you. 
Your grip was unexpected and squeezed a moan out of Eddie. You rolled your hips in response, the vibrations of his muffled moan going straight to your core. You could feel Eddie’s slight embarrassment at the noise that came out of him as he tried to pull away and ramble about it. 
“I, uh, I don’t know why that-“
“-Don’t apologize, that was so hot.” 
“Really?” 
“Have I ever lied to you?”
Eddie paused before a smile cracked his face. 
“On multiple occasions, yes. But you said it was for my benefit or sake of surprise-“
You slapped his arm rolling your eyes at him. 
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know. Hey, what would you do if I bit you? Ya know, like a real vampire.”
You swallowed a smile and rolled your tongue over your teeth debating on if you’d give him the truthful answer. Quickly, deciding that you would. 
“Honestly, I’d prolly be more turned on.”
Eddie laughed at you before attacking at your neck, sucking small hickies into your skin. Muffled, he spoke against your neck.
“God you really are a freak.” 
“Only for you Munson.” 
Eddie looked at you again, his eyes and hair wild as he processed your response. Pouncing on your lips again, his hands began to wander your body. Paying special attention to the areas that were a tad bit thicker. His ring clad fingers squeezing at the fat of your thighs and feeling your breasts through your bodysuit. Your hands traveled down his body and found haven on the crotch of his jeans. 
Palming him through the fabric an airy moan left his mouth. 
“Shit y/n.” 
Suddenly the lust you were feeling was too much to bear and you needed to feel the rest of him. You needed to see the rest of him. 
“Can I suck you off?”
“Wha?”
“Please, can I suck you off? I wanna feel you in my mouth.” 
“Fuckin shit, y/n, don’t beg. I’m gonna bust in my pants.” 
You looked up at him still waiting for his verbal go ahead. 
“I wanna feel you too, princess. Go ahead.”
You both moved so that Eddie’s back was now on the mattress. Snaking down his body, you kept eye contact until you met the waistband of his jeans. Toying with the button, you slowly unbuckled his belt and he lifted his hips so that you could drag the fabric of his jeans and underwear down. 
His cock, strained and hard, flopped against his stomach. You looked up at him and he stared back at you, a shaky breath leaving his throat. Looking back at his cock, you admired him for a second. He was thick and decently sized and for a moment you wondered how were you going to fit him all in your mouth. 
Flattening your tongue against his base, you dragged up to his tip giving a few kitten licks across his slit. Eddie’s head rolled back and a low groan escaped his throat. Gathering spit in your mouth, you spat a slow wad of spit onto the tip of his cock and took half of him in your mouth. The other half being handled by your hand. 
Your other hand slowly made its way up to his balls, massaging them slowly. 
“Y/n, baby. Fuck, you’re taking me so well. Fuck!” 
The extra stimulation had Eddie writhing against the sheets. You started to bob your head faster on his cock slowly taking the rest of him in your mouth. Deep throating him, your nose was tickled by his patch of hair and his moans were leaving him more frequently. 
“You’re taking me so well, baby. Oh my fuckin god.  Suck my cock so well, sweetheart.” 
The praise took a detour to your cunt and you were pulsing around nothing. You could feel your slick against your folds as your muscles contracted and released. You felt his cock begin to twitch in your mouth so you increase your pace once more, incorporating your hand again so that your tongue could focus on his tip. 
Swirling your tongue around his head. Eddie’s hand was fisting the duvet trying to gain his composure. He couldn’t though. He knew that if you kept going the way that you were he was going to cum in your mouth and he had plans of filling you up elsewhere. 
“Y/n, baby. Baby, stop.” 
You pulled off of him and looked up at him, worry apparent in your eyes. 
“Sweetheart, everything’s fine, I just wanna fill you up somewhere else…”
A pang of intoxicating zeal echoed in your core making you want to grind against something, anything, and suddenly your suit was unbearably tight. Strangling you from what you needed and you needed to feel every part of him all at once. You crawled back up his body to give him a burning kiss. Both of your breaths were heavy out of the nose, and your teeth were biting into his lip as you pulled away from him. 
Standing at the end of the bed, you stared him down as you began to peel yourself out of your boots and your bodysuit followed. You brought your arms around to the clasp of your bra and let it fall to the floor. Eddie had messily thrown his clothing to the floor, trying to not miss the show you were putting on for him but also to not be stuck in his many layers of fabric. 
Eddie got up from the bed and walked in front of you, his erection pressing against your thigh. His hands wandered your body again and the coolness of his rings created another layer of electricity between the both of you. He pushed you back down on the bed and pulled your underwear down your legs. The air creating an alarming coolness from how wet you were. Eddie crawled back over you and his hand found its way between your lips. 
You were so sensitive that the slight touch of his fingers against your clit made your body and cunt jolt. Eddie smirked, amused with your reaction. 
“All this…just for me? Just from sucking me off?”
You were ready to will yourself to whatever he said. Right now you needed and wanted nothing else but Eddie. You needed to feel him on you and inside of you. You couldn’t bare not having him. 
“Yes, fuck! Eddie I just want you so bad. I’ve needed you, this, for so long now.” 
You wrapped your hands around his shoulders, bracing yourself on him and looked him in the eyes. 
“Please, Eddie. I need you. Fuck me, please, Eddie.”
“What I’d say sweetheart, you don’t have to beg me. I’m gonna give you what you want.” 
Eddie placed another kiss on your lips before rolling his cock between your swollen, sensitive lips. You grinded into him, needing some type of friction to expunge the throbbing ache you were feeling. 
“I’m gonna put it in now, okay?”
You nodded, biting your lip. When Eddie slipped his cock into your warm, seraphic walls, you swore you felt the seventh heaven. A moan so choked and garbled left your throat and the stretch you were feeling had you digging your nails into his pale back. Eddie was holding still, letting you adjust to his size, but you couldn’t wait any longer. 
“Eddie…move. Oh my god, move.”
“Alright, alright, baby.”
Eddie chuckled before finally moving his hips. He moved slow at first allowing you to really feel the stretch of him inside your walls. You moaned out as you clenched around him, the feeling of him finally inside of you completely euphoric. You threw your head back against the bed, back arching into the feeling. You panted out as you gripped at Eddie’s skin again. 
“Faster, please go faster. Fuck!”
Immediately he reacted. His hips ramming into you at a speed that had you feeling every inch of him. The tip of his cock was kissing your cervix and had you writhing against the sheets, desperate for something to cling onto besides Eddie. You wrapped your hand around the back of Eddie’s neck so that you could kiss him again. His mouth swallowed your moans only until he moved down your jawline and neck. An assault that you couldn’t have wanted more. You squeezed around him rapidly, feeling your climax on the horizon. 
“Oh, you like that don’t you? Am I making you feel good princess?”
“Yes, yes, yes, Eddie, fuck! You’re making me feel so~ahh!”
Eddie rolled his thumb on your delicate rosebud and pushed you even closer to your edge. He hovered over you like predator on prey, but his eyes still held their softness. His hair hung on the sides of his face slightly curtaining your own as he got closer to you. 
“C’mon. Be a good girl and cum for me.”
You couldn’t help the reaction your body had to him calling you a good girl. Your cunt fluttered around his cock, squeezing him in the most delicate of ways. He cocked his eyebrow, surprised and simultaneously amused by the effect he had on you. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you rolled your face to the pillows underneath you. 
“Y/n, baby, look at me.”
His voice was slightly firm but still his tone was still engulfed in salacity. You tried to look at him but you felt the heat build up and your head dropped again. 
“You wanna be my good girl right, y/n? Then you’re gonna have to look at me. I want you to look at me while you cum.”
“Eddie! Fuck, okay okay.”
You found the strength within you to look at him, your eyes rolling back occasionally at the feeling of your orgasm coming. Your eyebrows furrowed as your breath quickened and you felt the warmth in your core turn into an insatiable burning. 
“Eddie, Eddie, I’m gonna cum. Fuck, I’m gonna cum!” 
“Me too sweetheart. Shit, where do you want it?”
“I wanna feel all of you.”
Eddie looked at you, a moment of disbelief running across his features. 
“I-Inside?”
“Yes, please, Eddie. I wanna feel you fill me up. I’m on the pill just, please.”
“Fuck, baby. You love to beg don’t ya? Love being good for me~ holy shit!”
Your walls clenched around him your orgasm overtaking your whole body. You were sure your moans could’ve been heard over the music and chatter happening on the floor below you. You couldn’t hold back, Eddie made everything feel so good. Coupled with the strained moans and groans that escaped his own mouth, you were milking him of all that we was worth. He grabbed your face by the chin before kissing you again, forcing you to swallow his moans. 
As you both finally came down from your high, Eddie looked at you with stars in his eyes. You felt nothing but the overwhelming urge to keep kissing him and never let him go from this moment. You pecked his lips multiple times and he chuckled pulling away from you. He moved to pull out of you but you stopped him. 
“Wait. Don’t pull out yet.”
You rolled the two of you over so that you were on top now, his cock still semi hard inside of you. 
“I still wanna feel you.”
“Oh, you’re a dirty little girl.” 
You pouted and groaned at his observation of you.  
“Don’t-”
You were cut off by the sound of the door coming out of it’s lock and the hinges squeaking. You turned around only to be met with Steve’s eyes and his hand coming up shield his eyes. 
“In my room?! Seriously guys? You guys will be washing my sheets before you leave.”
Steve slammed the door shut leaving you and Eddie alone with your giggles about the situation. Eddie’s arms laid over his eyes as he laughed again. 
“I can’t believe we fucked on Harrington’s bed. Kinda feel bad…eh, I’ll have to thank him later cause now I have you.” 
“Shut up, Munson.”
You laughed as you placed your palms on his chest. He grabbed your wrists and slowly rubbed up and down your arms. Admiring your beauty once again as he had done numerous times before. 
“Wanna go get dinner tomorrow night? So I can treat you properly.”
“Dinner, huh?”
“Absolutely. Gotta treat my girl right.”
My girl.
My girl. 
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liminal-space-lesbian · 3 months
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BG3 Ladies cuddling headcanons
Thank you guys so much for 200 followers (even tho I’m literally never active 💀) I’m currently obsessed with Baldurs Gate so if y’all have some headcanon requests or blurbs or whatever send them over. I won’t commit to writing entire fics bc I’m writing exclusively on mobile rn 😀 but I wanna do a little something
These are mostly self indulgent sorry guys🤧
Karlach:
The second she gets her engine fixed it’s nonstop cuddles. Whenever you’re not traveling or fighting some absolute cultists, Karlach wants you in her lap. Or vice versa, she won’t complain.
Loves loves LOVES when you play with her hair. She just wants to be petted <3
She usually likes to be the big spoon, or just wrap you up in her arms entirely because she loves the feeling of holding you against her chest. However, if she had a bad day or after a particularly rough fight she will climb into your arms and tuck her head into your chest. You’d best rub her back and tell her how much you love her, bc my girl needs a little TLC every now and then.
I’d say Karlach likes to be face to face when cuddling, because she gets the most attention that way. Also best position for kisses!! She loves leaving kisses all over your face, especially your forehead. She loves getting kisses too, she’s constantly giving you puppy dog eyes and asking for kisses throughout the day.
Verdict: Karlach is a lover girl (we knew this)
Shadowheart:
Shadowheart is a bit reserved when it comes to cuddling. She loves it, don’t get me wrong, but she also values personal space a lot. She usually settles for resting a hand on your thigh, or holding hands even. She’ll lean against you while sitting next to you, and even rest her head on your shoulder.
When you’re alone in her tent she will climb in your lap and talk about whatever topic has her currently intrigued. She loves being pampered, honestly. I mean, she’s Gods favorite princess, how can she not?
She usually likes to be receiving attention like kisses and hugs, even back rubs and other forms of affection like that. She does give back though, she’s just more hesitant because she is honestly a bit shy! She can flirt all she wants but when she has real feelings she gets a bit nervous. She doesn’t want to violate a boundary or overstep!! Also she worries about being annoying.
Her favorite cuddle position is when you lay on your back and let her cuddle into your side, resting her head on your chest. She enjoys the freedom it gives her, she is the one in charge of how much contact there is. She also likes being able to drape her arm and her leg over your body :3
Overall Shadowheart is not a huge cuddler, but at the end of the day she likes to curl up with her lover as much as anyone else <3
Lae’zel:
Hates cuddling. Any affection, actually. She thinks it’s disgusting and weak!
However….
When you two are alone she may or may not lean against you. And hold your hand. And maybe even rest her head on your shoulder. And climb in your lap. And…
Okay maybe she doesn’t hate affection that much.
She had honestly never experienced tenderness in such a way before meeting you. She detested it at first, because it felt almost too good to be true! It seemed like a trick of sorts even. A strategy for her to let down her guard so you could strike.
But… you never did. And Lae’zel reluctantly warmed up to the idea.
Her favorite position is surprisingly enough, little spoon! She likes the feeling of you wrapping your arms around her, it makes her feel safe. She’ll say it’s because you are behind her to protect her from sneak attacks, but honestly she’s just a sucker for a good hug.
She will NEVER be caught DEAD cuddling by your companions though. Cuddling is strictly behind closed doors. The best you’ll get is a handhold or a quick kiss.
Ultimately, Lae’zel is secretly a bit of a softie. I SAID IT!! She is very hesitant with affection because she is ultimately distrusting, and gentleness in general is foreign to her. After she warms up to it though, you bet she is climbing in bed and instantly tugging your arm over her waist. She would rather die than let anyone else know that though, especially Shadowheart.
Dame Aylin:
Omg hot lesbian demigod with wings?? You know the cuddles are insane.
Alyin is a lovergirl, you can’t change my mind. She wants to be in your personal space 24/7 and LOVES having a hand on you in some way all the time. She particularly enjoys having her arm wrapped possessively around your waist. Loves kissing you randomly all the time too. A century of being trapped in shadow fell will make a girl pretty touch starved.
She loves to be the big spoon, but she also enjoys lying on her back and having you just lay completely on top of her. She wants as much physical contact as possible. She loves rubbing your back or playing with your hair, and just kissing every inch of exposed skin she can reach.
She also enjoys having you sit on her lap. She’s constantly pulling you down onto her lap so she can wrap her arms around your waist and rest her chin on your shoulder. She doesn’t care who sees either, she’s happy to show off her love for you.
Isobel:
Isobel is such a love, omg. She’s unbearably sweet, she loves cupping your face in her hands and kissing you impossibly gently. She also loved just giving you random hugs throughout the day. Holding hands!! She just loves being near you.
She likes sleeping on her back, so she’ll let you cuddle into her side. She also adores playing with your hair as you fall asleep. It lulls you to sleep, and also helps her wind down after a long day. She also enjoys the way you trace patterns on her stomach as you two talk before bed, she cherishes how loved it makes her feel.
She’s not exactly shy about her affections, but she doesn’t enjoy the feeling of other people watching you share a moment. Those moments are private and sacred to her, so she tends to keep the affection light when people are around. Maybe just handholding and quick kisses.
When you’re alone though? This girl is showering you with all the affection you can handle.
A/n
Yes I know Aylins wings are technically just her armor but for the sake of the plot PRETEND THATS NOT TRUE !!
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cookinguptales · 1 year
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So… last week I made a vent post about an accessibility issue I’d had with some podcasters. I really only meant for the post to be read by my followers (who to my knowledge aren’t familiar with the podcast in question) which is why I put minimal tags on it and didn’t name the show.
But… the post got legs that I wasn’t expecting, and eventually a lot of people asked for the name of the show. I hadn’t intended on creating a whole big thing, so I was kind of reluctant, but I did see the logic in what they were saying — as a disabled woman myself, I would also want to know if I were supporting podcasters whose values did not align with mine. So I told people quietly in the notes that the show had been Old Gods of Appalachia.
Things… did not stay quiet.
Frankly speaking, one of the reasons why I don’t write as many posts about disability and ableism these days is because I got tired of people writing to me and telling me that people like me should be dead. So you can imagine what kind of fucking week I’ve been having since all that blew up. It’s been a very high symptom week, too, so I’m just. Very tired and stressed rn.
Personally, I’d be happy to never talk about it again and try to get back to my everyday life, but I did think it was important to note that the creators of OGOA must have gotten wind of the post, and they did contact me.
I won’t post the whole email here, but it was a good response. Since seeing my post, they’d tried getting in contact with the venue and realized very quickly why I’d been so frustrated. They ended up needing to go through their booking agent to get any kind of answers — so like, to the people who sent me a thousand messages telling me I was an entitled idiot who just needed to contact the venue, please know that none of you were remotely helpful.
Again, I’m not going to post the entire email, but I did think it was important to be fair and use the same platform that I used to vent to tell people that they seem committed to doing better in the future. They told me that they would be making sure that they have all this information going forward and that they would no longer allow it to be such a barrier to entry for disabled fans.
They invited me back to the show and… god, I’ll admit it. I really had to think about my answer. Not to sound ungrateful, but after the week I’ve had, even thinking about the podcast, the podcasters, and that damn live show has me stressed af. I had to really consider whether I even wanted to go.
But in the months since I first contacted them, they added a show that’s a lot closer to where I live, so rather than a weekend trip, I could just take a single bus. And it’s near one of my favorite Japanese restaurants in the city, so if all else fails, I can at least have some good katsudon. So I will be going to the Philadelphia show.
(Though for fellow disabled fans, Terakawa Ramen is not wheelchair accessible. 🙃 Most days I can do the two steps into the restaurant, but not always. Philly, I love and loathe you.)
Anyway, I wanted to reply to them before I made a post here, but… yeah. We’ve worked things out, I think. Only the future can tell what they'll do going forward but they do seem committed to doing better.
To me, there are always two goals when I write about disability and ableism. The first is that disabled people will feel seen. That is always, always my primary goal. It’s so easy for us to feel invisible and unimportant, and I always want to make you all feel seen, just like I want to feel seen. The second is that able-bodied folks will listen and learn and do their best to support their disabled peers in the future.
So… I think that my post managed to fulfill both of those goals. A lot of disabled people have reblogged that post and have talked about their own experiences, and a lot of them have explicitly said how much that post makes them feel seen. And the podcasters in question seem to have really reflected on their actions and seem to want to do better going forward.
So as incredibly fucking stressed out as I’ve been, I guess I can’t regret making the post. It’s always good to know that your words can have impact. The post has long since moved out of my friends circle so I assume it’ll just keep circulating and I’ll keep getting shitty anons and chat messages, but I’m just gonna focus on what good has come from it. I’m hopeful that my post will make life tangibly better for at least a few disabled people, and I’m encouraged by the fact that podcasters who I’d formerly liked do actually seem to want to do the work needed to improve.
And uh I’m not answering any more messages from people who just wanna swear at me. I’m tired. Leave me alone.
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oddinary4bts · 7 months
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November Sun | jjk
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☆summary: whenever he breaks, the november sun shines on him. and jungkook chases you across the sky - but you've gone some place he can't reach you now.
☆pairing: Jungkook x reader (I genuinely don't think the gender is ever mentioned? please let me know if it is so I can adjust this here), mentions-ish of Namjoon x reader
☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, it deals with heavy themes)
☆genre: grief au/funeral au?, exes au, angst
☆warnings: angst, like. Just angst. OC is dead and Jungkook is grieving her. Curses words, very light mentions of sex, flashbacks of moments when jungkook broke. mentions of christianism (the funerals are held in a church), mentions of alcohol, jealousy. Namjoon is a broken man as well
☆word count: 3.7k
☆a/n: I started writing this tonight because I was sad and then just realized I won't have the strength to look back on it ever again so I'm posting it even tho it hasn't been beta-ed, and even tho the person that makes my moodboards is unavailable rn. Idc. It needed to be out of my system, and now it is.
☆a/n pt2: I know this piece is extremely heavy. If you ever need to speak, please reach out to me. My blog is a safe space for every single one of you <3
☆☆☆☆☆
                The church is a tall building. Grand, elegant in its simplicity, though it cuts against the blue sky up above in stark lines, shaped like a prison.
Jungkook thinks life has become a prison a while ago.
It’s a mystery, why your family chose this space for your funeral. You never believed, never practiced. Is it a betrayal to mark your passing in a space that feels so unlike you?
Jungkook thinks it is.
He sighs, chases the heaviness away the same way the clouds chase themselves in the sky up above. He doesn’t know how the sun is shining in the blue expanse of the sky. It’s November, yet the day is warm, the sun is blindingly glowing. It feels like a crime – how can the sun shine in a world deprived of your existence?
Jungkook doesn’t want to know.
Only knows that he’s watched from afar the people that gathered on the front steps. Chatting, heads hung low and shoulders bent forward. He heard sniffles, he heard laughs, and he just waited for everyone to go in to get closer.
Jungkook doesn’t know why he was invited. Why someone from a distant past figured he would need to be here, to share his grief with people that could understand.
Though Jungkook thinks no one can understand.
He remembers you, in all your glory. His first love, when he had been a stupid college kid who didn’t know what he wanted in life. You were two years older, and now... and now one day he’ll be older than you. Because you've stopped aging, you came and went like a moment in time, when he'll still be here for who fucking knows how long.
He chases the thought away with a long inhale, holds the air in knowing that it’s choking him up before he lets it out on a sigh.
You were beautiful. A star that walked the Earth, only to return to the night sky above far too soon. He had loved you dearly, in his own twisted way. Had tried to be what you sought, what you needed, until he had realized he was never going to be enough.
Would you still be alive today, if he had fought harder?
*****
                “I’m not doing this,” you said. “I’m so fucking done with your indecision, with your fear of commitment.”
Jungkook scoffed. “Please, you graduated and now you think you’re so high above me. Get down from the fucking horse, Y/n, it’s not going to bring us anywhere.”
He’d said the words hoping that they would hurt you. And they did: he saw you physically recoil as if he’d punched you. As if the words had been a physical blow, and not just letters of the alphabets shaped into words and sound, into arrows to pierce that beautiful soul of yours.
“Maybe I don’t want us to go somewhere anymore,” you replied after a quiet moment of breaking hearts.
“I didn’t mean that.”
“I know.” You sighed, slightly shaking your head as your eyes fell to the floor between you and him. “I know, but I mean it.”
“Please,” was all Jungkook thought to reply.
“You say please all the time,” you told him. “You beg me, and for what? We always circle back to fighting, to hurting each other.” You paused, and though you were avoiding his features he could see you blinking back tears. “Maybe we aren’t supposed to be together at all.”
“Don’t say that,” Jungkook warned. “Don’t you fucking say that. I love you. Isn’t that enough for you?”
“I love you too, Jungkook,” you answered. “I’ve loved you since the first day I met you at that stupid party last year.”
Jungkook felt the tear rolling down his cheek, felt the gravity pulling on his heart until it was shattering on the ground.
“Then why stop now?” he asked. “Give me time, Y/n. I’ll graduate, and I’ll be able to move in with you, and to provide for you and give you everything that you need.”
You sighed heavily, finding courage to finally meet his gaze. At the stark finality shining behind your pupils, Jungkook’s knees weakened. His whole fucking body weakened, ready for the blow.
For the end that was coming for you and him like a car barreling down a dead-end street.
“But I’m tired of waiting,” you answered. “I don’t want to spend my life waiting around for someone.”
“I’m still in college, I just can’t move in with you right now…”
“I know, Jungkook. I know.”
He wanted to fight. Wanted to tell you to stay in his dorm tonight, and to never leave again. But he could tell that you were already gone.
So he steeled himself. Readied himself to let you go even though you were the blood in his veins.
“I’m holding you back, aren’t I?”
You wiped a tear on your cheek, blurring behind those in his gaze. “You are.”
He choked on a sob, hiding his eyes behind his hand as if that would stop the breaking. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” you reassured him. “We just aren’t at the same place in life anymore.”
An empty silence surrounded you, so loud Jungkook could hear every beat of his heart in his ears, could feel the walls pressing in.
“I don’t want you to go,” he softly said.
“I know,” you murmured. “I…” You choked on a sob, and it took you a moment before you managed to continue. “I’m sorry.”
He laughed, a sound so devoid of joy he wondered if he’d ever feel happiness again. “Please don’t be. You’re allowed to want more.”
“I wish I didn’t.”
Anger rose up on the horizon of Jungkook’s conscience, and he pushed it away. He refused to be angry at you, refused to put the blame on you when you made it clear that you wanted him to move in so long ago, and he disregarded it without even once thinking about it.
“I’ll find you again,” he promised, voice strained and heavy with emotion. “I’ll graduate and find you.”
You stepped closer to him, gently cupping his cheek. “Go find someone that loves you for what you are, Jungkook.”
“And you don’t?”
“I don’t want you to settle for someone that asks too much for you,” you explained, renewed silver lining your eyes. “Find someone that loves you for who you are, right now.”
“Fuck that,” he choked out, and he pulled you flush against his chest. “Fuck this nonsense. ”
“I’m so sorry,” you cried against him.
“Don’t be,” he reassured you, though he was crying too. “Don’t be. Give me a few years. I’ll have it all figured out in a few years.”
*****
                The priest at the front of the church is going on and on about something that Jungkook doesn’t care to listen to. It’s impersonal, nothing like you, like the vibrant girl he remembers. So he lets his memory guide him to you, where you’re awaiting him. Your lips on his, your hand running through his hair. Your own hair catching in the wind that time you’d gone hiking, and he’d believed being at the top of the mountain with you felt like he had won in life.
Or that time you’d driven on the coast, windows down, screaming the lyrics to a song he can’t listen to anymore. Now the song is haunted by ghosts of a past he never learned to let go, perhaps because for months after the breakup he’d kept the conviction that he’d find his way back to you. He’d believed it the same way he believed the sun would always rise in the morning. A simple truth of nature, that nothing could ever break.
Except a car accident, apparently. Because all it took was a car accident to wipe you off the surface of the Earth, to take your light and shove it into shadows, into darkness and a void so wide he knows he’ll never find you again.
But he’d believed he’d find his way back to you. Never let anyone in after you, for the months and years it took him to graduate because he always knew he’d find his way back to you. You were his silver lining, the finish line at the end of the race. On a November day, just as sunny as today, Jungkook reached that finish line.
He did find you again, only you never knew.
*****
                Jungkook had never felt so light before. Like he had grown wings, like he was soaring in the clouds up above. Though the sun was out, the weather was cold, wind running cold fingers through the lapels of his coat until he found himself shivering as he made his way to the flower store.
He’d get the biggest bouquet for you, and then he’d head to where he knew from a common friend that you lived now. It was Saturday, and he hoped to catch you unaware, to catch you in the middle of cleaning your apartment the same way that you cleaned it back when you were dating.
The image of you, with your hair pulled back in a high ponytail as you danced around instead of sweeping the floor shone in his mind, brighter than the star in the sky above.
He bought the flowers, heart beating fast in his chest. Because it was time. It was finally time to go home, to tell you that he did everything he said he would, that he changed and now had a job that could support what you both wanted. He wanted to ask you out, and in his dreams you had been answering yes every single time since he had decided to go see you.
His heart fluttered as he gently rested the flowers on his passenger seat, careful not to damage them. Memories floated to him, and a smile grew on his lips as he remembered you, screaming out the window that day you had driven along the coast. You had stopped to watch the sunset in the waves, and he’d kissed you stupid on his back seat until every single inch of your skin knew about his love.
He couldn’t wait to create new memories with you.
He drove carefully, enjoying the warmth of the sun now that he was safely hidden from the wind. You actually didn’t live too far from where he did now, and soon enough he parked his car near your building. He got out of the vehicle, almost running to the other side in his excitement to grab the bouquet on the passenger seat. When it was safely tucked in his hand, Jungkook shut the car door, locked it, and started walking to your building.
He didn’t even know which apartment was yours. He believed fate would guide him, and so he crossed the street to your building, trusting the universe for what was to come next.
He heard your laugh before he saw you. Love swelled in his chest, and he wondered if you were laughing because you’d seen him, because you’d known that he’d come back for you.
And then he saw you. The wind was ruffling your hair, which he assumed had prompted the laugh. Your eyes were closed, hands struggling to push the wild strands behind your ears.
You were more beautiful than he remembered. Shone brighter, with the same stuff that stars consisted of. He was struck for a moment, watching you with his bouquet hoping that you’d open your eyes and see him.
The world slowed down to a stop, and time halted, and Jungkook watched you, feeling at home for the first time in years.
The illusion fractured the instant someone else came into view, making him realize that you hadn’t been laughing at the wind. No, perhaps your laughter took root in the dimples gracing the man’s cheeks as he smiled at you, as he pecked your forehead before grabbing your hand.
Jungkook ducked behind a car, clutching the flower bouquet like a lifeline the moment that you turned towards him. Did you hear his heart breaking? Did you hear the mockery in the November sun rays – you’d broken up on a similar day, years ago.
Jungkook couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think around the shattering of his heart, around the blood turning to ice in his veins as he heard you speak to the man – Namjoon, he heard you call him.
He would have rather not known the name.
Still Jungkook drank in the sound of your voice, trying to shape it into the words he was so willing to hear you say today. It didn’t work, and soon enough your voice disappeared, leaving him in a deafening silence of wind and sun and the realization that after all, he had come back too late.
Perhaps he should have known that he'd be too late.
*****
                When Jungkook received the call last week, he’d sat outside in the silence until he thought his eardrums would start bleeding. He hadn’t moved, hadn’t breathed, hadn’t done anything other than to stare at the fading light of the sun.
He wonders, why is it that whenever he breaks, November sun is shining high above? As if the universe takes pleasure in his torment, in undoing him until he barely counts as a human being anymore.
He got pissed out drunk that night. Last time he had been as drunk was when he had found out you were dating someone new, that day he had come to find you.
And now he wonders, if he had approached you that day, would you still be dead today? Would life still have put you on that road with its drunk driver so that you could meet your end?
Or would you be laughing at some dumb comment he’d make, telling him that he’s stupid with eyes so full of love he wouldn’t be able to do anything else but agree with you?
It’s hard to tell. So, he doesn’t try to figure it out – he has an eternity ahead of himself to figure out how to live without you anyway.
Maybe in all his misfortune Jungkook actually had some luck. He’s learned to grieve you a while ago already, and perhaps grieving someone that still lives is harder than grieving someone that’s passed. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t think he knows anything. Just that, so far back in the past he should have said fuck it and move in with you. It was such a simple request, but he had been too young and dumb, and he’d forever live with the regrets of it.
If someone from your family notices his presence at the funeral, recognizes him from your shared past, they don’t say. Especially not as the end of the ceremony comes before he’s had a chance to really take in the picture of you, smiling, over there next to the urn with your ashes.
You’re ashes now. Everything that made you – your laugh, your smile, the way you carried yourself with that simple elegance – all of it is gone to be replaced with mere ashes.
He doubts they can hold the truth of your essence, but then again he doesn’t think anything can, or anything ever will again.
He blinks away the tears as they come, leaving the ceremony like a whisper in the wind. He doesn’t want to speak to your family, doesn’t want to see them coddling the man that you loved, that survived the accident when he should have been the one to go.
Jealousy and selfishness are ugly, Jungkook realizes. But it’s easier to hate the man that took you away from him, no matter how unknowingly he did it.
And Jungkook tried to hate you once. He tried hard, in the months after that fated November day, when you’d laughed to that man’s joke, smiled when he’d smiled that soft dimpled smile of his. He had tried, because hating you felt like it was the only way he wouldn’t hurt. But he still hurt – he still hurts.
All he’s been able to do in his life since you broke up is hurt, and he highly doubts he’ll ever feel differently again.
Perhaps he’ll grow numb. Perhaps he should have grown numb a while ago.
At least that’s what he’s telling himself days later, when he’s looking at the tombstone they picked out for you. The finality of your name and the dates, the ending, is unnerving. He wishes it was fake, wishes it was a joke, and that he didn’t spend most of his life loving someone that moved on to a new love in just a few years.
It’s been over a decade and he hasn’t moved on even a little bit.
He kicks the ground, mad at the leaves littering the ground where you’re buried, as if they’re sullying you. And as if laughing at him, sun rays pierce through the clouds up above, that dreaded November sun making an appearance when it should stay gone.
He allows himself to cry. To break down, to sit on the ground and curse everything and everyone that’s ever been between you and him. He curses his stupidity, curses the sun and the leaves and the etchings on the stone. He hates everything. Hates himself, hates you, hates the whole fucking universe for taking you away, for not giving him the chance to be with you.
That’s how Namjoon finds him. Jungkook’s tears have receded, and he’s just sitting there, an empty shell that once held love and laughter and your lips on his. He hears the scuffle of Namjoon’s steps, of his cane as he walks up the path.
The man’s features are grave when Jungkook can’t help but glance towards him, sees him ambling up the path with that cane, the only indication that he too was in that car accident. And Jungkook wonders if Namjoon knows about him. If Namjoon knows that he wasn’t the first man whose love for you was a bottomless ocean, one Jungkook has drowned in time and time again since you broke up.
Namjoon remains standing, and Jungkook remains sitting. Like there’s an understanding between them, and silence conveys more than words could. Jungkook doesn’t want to move, and Namjoon clearly doesn’t have anywhere to go.
Jungkook thinks the Earth has revolved around the sun at least once before Namjoon scrapes his throat.
“It’s hard to believe that she’s gone, isn’t it?” he speaks, deep voice carrying the weight of the universe.
Jungkook doesn’t deign reply as his eyes fill with tears, though he refuses to let them out right now.
Especially not in front of the man you loved after him.
“You’re Jungkook, aren’t you?”
The simple sentence makes Jungkook lose it. He hides his face in his hands, his whole soul bleeding out under the November sun.
“She told me about you,” Namjoon continues, and Jungkook is convinced he hears pain, tears and grief laced with Namjoon’s words.
What did you tell him, Jungkook wonders? Did you tell Namjoon that you should have waited for Jungkook, that you should have given him a chance to become what you needed?
“She loved you a lot,” Namjoon adds after a silence, and he chokes on a sob. “She never forgot about you.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Jungkook asks with that broken voice, raspy with disuse.
He hasn’t been able to speak since you died.
“You deserve to grieve. She loved and loved, and I wish it would have been enough for her to live…”
“Stop,” Jungkook begs. “Please.”
Namjoon falls silent, offering salvation to Jungkook, though Jungkook doesn’t know if he deserves it.
Would he have been able to offer salvation to someone in his position if the situation was reversed? He highly doubts it.
“It’s just…” he trails off when he finds words again. “You got fucking years with her. You got years of loving and-“ it breaks on a sob. “And you were fucking engaged.” Jungkook pulls at his hair. “You were engaged, and all I got was months. Not even a full year.”
“I’m sorry man,” Namjoon answers, voice so broken Jungkook wonders who’s suffering the most.
He doesn’t think it’s himself.
“Was she happy?” Jungkook eventually asks, once he can’t stand the silence hanging around. Once he can’t stand the etchings on the stone, the void in the universe that used to be filled with you.
“I made her as happy as I could,” Namjoon replies truthfully, his voice strained but not as pained anymore. As if he’s reached a conclusion, clarity filling his mind.
Not needing to hear more, Jungkook gets up, dusting himself off.
“Good talk,” he says, fighting against the next onslaught of tears, and then he’s storming off.
Storming away from you, from everything that you meant to him. And maybe the sun rays really are mocking him in that beautiful November sky, because Namjoon says, “I don’t think she ever truly was happy after you, though.”
Jungkook stops, convinced someone just stabbed him right in the heart. He doesn’t think the organ can beat anymore, doesn’t think he can live anymore. He just wants to be dust on the wind, to be forgotten, and to stop fucking feeling all the time.
“She was calling off the engagement,” Namjoon continues. “She…” Jungkook turns, and he doesn’t think he’s ever seen such agony as the one that graces Namjoon’s features right now. “She said she shouldn’t get married to me when she still loved another.”
Clouds pass in front of the November sun, and Jungkook remembers the smile on your face whenever you’d catch his gaze. He remembers the way you’d lovingly cupped his cheek even when you were breaking up with him. He still feels the ghost of your fingers on his skin as he holds Namjoon’s broken gaze.
He holds Namjoon’s broken gaze, unable to offer the man salvation. It might make him a monster, might make him selfish and jealous and everything that he finds disgusting about humanity. But Jungkook doesn’t care.
Not when he realizes that perhaps, perhaps he’s the one that you’re waiting for on the other side of the veil, so that you can rest in the eternity of afterlife together.
And perhaps, perhaps there’s some sort of beauty in the thought.
☆☆☆☆☆
I am crying and in pain and I am sending everyone that read this whole thing lots of love and if you need to talk just hit me up bc grief is a bitch and we hate her and I just wish I could take everyone's grief away
All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2023. Do not copy, repost or translate.
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WIBTA for ignoring my partners text messages after they told me they want to go on break over text?
(🦞⏱️ so I can find this later)
About three months ago, at the end of December to be exact, a friend of my asked if I would like to be in a qpr relationship. They’re aromantic and have been wanting to try it out.
I figured fuck it - why not? We’ll just be silly ol’ partners, nothing to it… but then I started really enjoying it. The whole “being loved” thing got to me I guess.
The next couple of months were going great, at least from my point of view - I went over to their house a couple of times, we cuddled, we cooked, I thought everything was alright.
However, on our last qpr date they brought up how they have issues with relationships and commitment, saying how there might come a time they leave me because they have lower energy than me. I felt hurt of course but I played it cool, “no worries bro, thank you for being honest, know that I love you lots no matter what haha”
And I thought things got better again. Until yesterday.
They texted me that they don’t want to be in a qpr anymore. That they want to take a break because, from what they’ve gathered, we’re not compatible (I have more energy than them, talk more, text more) and they’re not used to this…
They promised they wouldn’t do a break up over text. Which is a promise they didn’t technically break since it’s not a breakup. Technically. But the way they phrased the texts and the fact that it happened Quite Literally 30 minutes before midnight… I tried to play it cool, “sure man, you need distance, I get it” but then they asked me if I feel hurt to which I admittedly answered passive aggressively with a “My feelings don’t matter rn” (edgy much? Maybe, but again - 30 minutes before midnight. Not the best time to have a well-rounded conversation on a tough subject in person, let alone over text)
So now it’s the next day. They texted me that they still love me, which I do believe them but at the same time I still feel hurt, betrayed, kinda fucked up. I can’t imagine how they feel and I really want to just sweep all of this under the rug with a “don’t even worry about it man we’re still cool no matter what” but I don’t think ignoring how what they did made me feel is a good idea.
(I guess what makes the situation worse is that we’re both part of a very tightly knit group of friends, 4 of us in total, and I don’t wanna bring all this emotional garbage on any of the other 2 of us)
So, would I be an ass for ignoring my partners texts for the following week? And if so… what do I even do?
What are these acronyms?
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Pieces of My Heart - Chapter 10 Stray Kids OT8 x reader, Soulmate AU
Masterlist | Next Part
Chan Hey, just checking in. How’s your dad? Y/N He’s good, awake and lucid Doctors say everything went smoothly, he should make a full recovery Chan That’s good. Y/N How are the boys? Chan Missing you. Img.png Y/N Tell them I miss them too Chan I will. Give your dad our best wishes. Y/N Thanks
0o0o0
Sophie Hey, I just got your message Are you okay? Y/N Don’t worry, I’m fine. My dad’s okay too I didn’t get a chance to update you Had a lot on my mind Sophie No, yeah. I get it Y/N How was the day 2 concert? Sophie Just as amazing as day 1 Well, actually it was a bit weird I felt like the members weren’t as playful as the first time around. It seemed like they had a lot on their mind too … Maybe it was just one of those days Y/N Yeah, I guess Sophie Either way, it’s a shame we didn’t get to hang out more before you left I’m glad your dad’s okay Y/N Me too. If I’m ever back in the city, I’ll let you know Sophie Of course. In the meantime, want to see some videos from last night? Y/N Sure!
0o0o0
Y/N You sure you don’t want anything from the store? Mom I’m sure sweetie, thank you. Y/N Ok Mom Hey, while I have a chance to talk to you without your dad listening in. We need to talk about your soulmates. Y/N What about them? Mom Sweetheart, I remember when I met my soulmate. We were inseparable for weeks. I couldn’t even imagine how hard it is to be away from them right now. Y/N Mom … Mom I mean, even now, not being able to see her makes me uncomfortable. Why do you think we have our weekly Friday night meet ups? Y/N I thought that was just an excuse to go out and complain about Dan from finances Mom You and I both know I don’t need an excuse to complain about Dan. But that’s not the point. I can’t stand not being with Lucy. And we’re only platonic soulmates. From what I’ve heard, that’s definitely not the case with you. Y/N Mom! Mom You should be with your soulmates. Y/N Dad’s still in recovery, mom You can’t take care of him yourself, you have work and your health issues … You need help. They understand, we can make it work Besides, they’re on tour. I was going to have to be away from them for a while anyway It’s not like I could just go on tour with them Mom I’m sure that’s not true. Y/N Im almost back at the room. We can talk about this later
0o0o0
Soulmates
Y/N Hey Did you guys land yet? Seungmin Few minutes ago Felix Hi!!! How are you?! I’m good Felix, thank you ^^ Seungmin Img.png Img.png Img.png Felix YAH! Seungmin wtf!??! Seungmin Not my fault you all fell asleep on the plane Felix So you decided to photograph us?!!? Seungmin Blackmail material Minho I’m going to commit murder Y/N Awww, you guys look so cute I hope you guys get some rest … Guys? Wait he wasn’t serious about the murder was he? Hyunjin Hi baby I miss you Jisung I miss you too! Hyunjin I miss them more! Chan Guys, it’s not a competition Felix But if it is, I definitely miss them more >:) Y/N Guys, Minho wasn’t serious about killing Seungmin, was he? … Guys?
0o0o0
Jeongin Did you have breakfast yet? Y/N Shit, no I’ve been busy. I had to take my dad to his doctor’s appointment today and then I had to go do groceries Jeongin :( Y/N Sorry Innie. I’ll go get a snack rn Jeongin You haven’t been eating a lot lately … You know coffee doesn’t count as a meal, right? Y/N I know Sorry :( Jeongin You need to take care of yourself. I’m worried about you Y/N I will, I promise Jeongin I’ll remind you if you don’t. I swear, you’re worse than Channie-hyung Y/N D: I’m not that bad Jeogin … What did you just eat? It’s disgusting Please never eat that again Y/N You take that back Ham and Jelly toast is delicious and I refuse to accept this slander Plus its an easy snack Jeongin I will pay you to never eat that again Please Stop! DID YOU JUST ADD HOT SAUCE?!!!? Y/N Suffer
0o0o0
Mom I had a talk with my boss about work. He’s agreed to let me work from home for the next few months. Y/N Oh, that’s good. Now you can spend more time with dad during breaks and lunch … Mom It also means that I won’t need your help around the house anymore. Y/N Mom, we’ve talked about this. I’m not leaving you guys! Mom It’s been almost a month. Your soulmates are almost done with their tour You should go see them. Y/N I appreciate the effort mom, I really do. But can you just drop this? Mom No, I won’t. Why are you forcing yourself to be so unhappy? You think I don’t notice how stressed and upset you’ve been lately? You’re not eating well, you’re not getting a lot of sleep. Honey, I’m worried. Being away from your soulmates for so long so soon after meeting can’t be good for you. Or them! Y/N They have each other, they’ll be fine. Mom That’s not how this works, and you know it. Have you even talked to them about it? Y/N I don’t want to talk about it. Not right now. Mom You can’t run away from your problems forever.
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Soulmates
Minho 커피 원해? (anyone want coffee?) Jisung ㅇㅇ (yup) Felix 내!!!! (yes!!!!) Chan 주세요. (please.) Seungmin 됐어요 (im good) Y/N I mean, if you’re offering It might be a bit cold by the time you get here though Minho Ahh, wrong chat Sorry Jisung Wait a minute! Since when do you read Korean?!! Y/N I don’t??!! I just used google translate Although I did recognize 내! That means yes :D Minho 귀엽다 (cute) Changbin Waa, our soulmate is so smart. Y/N :D Don’t drink too much coffee though. I’ve been told it is not a meal >:( Im talking to you, Chan Chan I have no idea what you’re talking about Y/N >:( Jeongin >:( Felix >:( Jisung >:( Chan It’s only my second cup today! And the first one was 3 hours ago! Y/N IT’S ONLY 9AM! Chan … Felix I’m going to kill you
0o0o0
Y/N Hey, can I ask for some advice? I need an unbiased opinion Sophie Well I’m not sure I’d consider myself unbiased. I’m definitely Han biased, that’s for sure. ;) Y/N It’s about my soulmate Sophie OH! I totally forgot about that, you haven’t talked about them at all! Y/N Yeah, between everything with my dad and then school and stuff … My mom has been on my ass these past few weeks about it Sophie About what? Y/N She thinks its unhealthy for me to be away from them She has this scary close bond with her soulmate, a childhood friend of hers. And she can’t imagine being away from her, so she thinks that I need to go be with my soulmate But I’ve been refusing, and now every time I see her it feels like she’s seconds away from starting another argument I’m just so tired of all the arguing, and wondering if maybe she’s right I have been having a harder time getting sleep Sophie Oh wow, that’s …. Wow. Y/N yeah Sophie I’m not sure you want my honest opinion right now. Y/N Please, I do. I need someone that isn’t my mom to be straight up with me. Am I being irrational? Sophie Well, first of all, being away from your soulmates is definitely not easy. But It’s also not a big deal, and long distance relationships work fine even between new soulmates. So maybe your mom is projecting a little bit. But I don’t think that’s the problem here. Y/N ??? Sophie Why does the idea of leaving to be with your soulmates bother you so much? I mean, when I found Alexis I was overjoyed, but I still didn’t have time to see him a lot. We both had school and work, and it was hard to find time to spend together. Honestly, I would have taken any opportunity I had to be with him. And yet here you are, turning down all of your mom’s offers. I feel like something else is at play here than just your mom’s pushiness. Y/N … Sophie I told you you wouldn’t like my opinion. Y/N No, you’re right Fuck, you’re right Sophie I usually am :) Y/N Thank’s Sophie, I really needed someone to knock some sense into me. Sophie Glad I could help. Want some memes? Y/N Yes, please!
0o0o0
Y/N Mom. I’m sorry You were right, I want to be with my soulmates. I really appreciate everything you’ve done to give me the opportunity to be with them. And I’m sorry I’ve been so stubborn about it. But Mom, I feel like you’re pushing me away. I feel like you don’t want me here. My soulmates will never be more important than you. You’re my mom, and I worry about you and dad. I worry about you guys being by yourselves, about being away from you. I’m scared and I just feel like everything is moving too fast. Can you call me when you get off work? I love you.
0o0o0
Y/N We need to talk Chan That doesn’t sound good Y/N It’s nothing bad, I promise Chan Okay? Y/N My dad has been getting better. He’s walking now. Chan That’s great! I’m glad your dad’s okay. Y/N Yeah Chan I have a feeling that’s not what you wanted to talk about, though. Y/N They managed to talk with a neighbor, and he agreed to drive my dad to his appointments if my mom can’t take him. And I started taking online classes. Chan Huh? Y/N Chris I think we need to talk about what happens when you guys are done with your tour.
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