#i dislike the thought of cheating!!!! in any situation or circumstance!!!!

[daresplaining]

hi! long time admirer of your blog! is there any particular reason why matt (specifically) pretends he's dead when something goes fucked up in his life? is it as a result of trauma or a past experience 'cause i have yet to figure it out myself. thanks in advance! hope you're having a wonderful day!

Hi, and thank you!

That's a really interesting question. To my memory, Matt has never psychoanalyzed himself on-panel about this, so I suppose it's up to us.

The short answer is that each faked death tends to be tied to the specific circumstances that surround it, as well as Matt's state of mind at the time, but there are noticeable patterns. (I'll do a quick run-through of The Deaths of Matt Murdock, but here's a more comprehensive (though not quite up-to-date) overview for anyone unfamiliar.)

His earliest faked deaths were more about pragmatism than anything, and had to do with protecting-- or simplifying-- his secret identity. His very first, of course, was "killing" Mike, which he presented as just being a matter of convenience. The Mike identity, while fun, had outlived its purpose and was starting to cause Matt trouble in his relationships with Karen and Foggy, in addition to just being a tiring logistical nightmare. (Also, Mike was cooler than Matt and that just wouldn't do.) There wasn't much forethought to his decision, he just encountered a situation in which Daredevil (Mike) would be in danger and suddenly thought, "Hey, what if he died?"

Matt (thinking): I just thought of something! ...The nuttiest idea I've ever had! But, if I can pull it off...it'll end my triple-identity bit...forever!" Daredevil vol. 1 #41 by Stan Lee, Gene Colan, John Tartaglione, and Sam Rosen

Matt's second faked death came about when supervillain Starr Saxon discovered his secret identity. This threat to his double life brought out feelings of resentment that Matt had been harboring toward his civilian identity since issue 1. In these early years, in an effort to hide his powers and superheroics, Matt turned his mild-mannered alter ego into an exaggerated caricature of a blind person, played at being helpless, prevented himself from acting on his feelings toward Karen Page, and dialed down his personality. He believed that this was necessary, but he also hated it and found it stifling. Added to this was his overall bitterness toward the ableism he had experienced since his accident, and the sense that the world around him viewed him as helpless (Matt mentions in an issue shortly afterward that his least favorite sentiment is pity). Thus, at this point, he saw the Matt Murdock identity as a prison, and the Daredevil identity as liberation, and so he grasped at the idea of faking his (Matt Murdock's) death not just as a way to counter Starr Saxon's threats, but also as an opportunity to finally rid himself of an identity that he actively disliked.

Matt: "My problem isn't Daredevil--and never was! It was always Matt--the blind lawyer--the hapless, helpless invalid! He's been my plague...since the day I first donned a costume! Then, let Matt Murdock no longer exist!!" Daredevil vol. 1 #53 by Stan Lee, Roy Thomas, Gene Colin, George Klein, and Artie Simek

Fortunately, Matt largely got over this resentment after he stopped putting his different identities into such rigid boxes. He does occasionally give up one or the other of his identities from time to time, but we don't see him actively killing an identity out of hatred again. Which is...certainly a positive sign in regards to Matt's overall mental health.

Instead, in the decades since the Starr Saxon incident, Matt's faked deaths have tended to revolve around two vital needs: the need to escape from something horrible in his life, and the need to protect his loved ones. Sometimes it's more of one, sometimes it's more of the other. In the Nocenti/JRJR run, Matt screws up real bad by cheating on Karen Page (at this point still recovering from her drug addiction and very fragile) with Mary Walker. Matt gets nearly killed by Typhoid Mary, wakes up in the hospital and learns that Karen has discovered his treachery. He finds himself at a crossroads, hating himself for the betrayal, hating the violence in his life and the seeming futility of everything he does, and feeling unable to cope, he abandons his civilian identity, vanishes from the lives of the people who know him, holds a symbolic "funeral" for Matt Murdock, and runs off upstate.

In the Chichester/McDaniel run, Matt ends up with a convenient body double in the wake of a major secret identity scare and decides that it would be best to fake his death in order to protect his loved ones. The only person who knows he's still alive is Maggie, his mother, because Matt goes to her for name suggestions for his new civilian alter ego (she ends up suggesting "Jack").

Maggie: "Oh, Matt, thank god you're alive!" Matt: "No 'Matt', Maggie. Not anymore. That's become a dangerous name for anyone too near to me." Daredevil vol. 1 #325 by D.G. Chichester, Scott McDaniel, and Christie Scheele

After becoming a full-on supervillain in Shadowland, Matt again decides that it's "for the best" if his loved ones think he's dead, and he vanishes off to New Mexico. In this case, the only people he allows to know the truth are Elektra and Ben Urich. Then there's Matt's memorable, utterly bonkers deal with the Kingpin in the second volume of the Waid/Samnee run after his, Foggy's, and Kirsten's lives have been ravaged by one supervillain attack after another:

Matt: "My offer is this: You guarantee the safety of my people, and the identity bell gets unrung. Think of it as a perverse twist on witness protection. Everyone--Foggy, Kirsten, everyone--will be told I'm dead. Meanwhile, you'll give me a new name and identity known only to you. You'll get back the secret you paid for. You'll oversee the plastic surgery so that only you recognize the face. Hell, even I won't see it. Hell, graft the mask to my skin. I won't care." Fisk: "But you'll still be Daredevil." Matt: "That way, you'll always know where I am. How to use me even when I don't think I'm being used. And how to, at any time, take anyone or anything away from me that you don't want me to have." Daredevil vol. 4 #16 by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, Matthew Wilson, and Joe Caramagna

And then, of course, we have our most recent example, in which Matt coped with the chaos of his recent life and the violent death of his brother by using Mike's corpse as a body double and fleeing the city to go fight ninjas with Elektra.

What's interesting about these faked deaths is the gap between the reasoning that Matt offers himself versus the actual reality of what he is doing. Each time, Matt is convinced that his loved ones will be better off, safer, even happier if they think he is dead. And of course, this is not based on nothing. Matt has suffered tremendous loss, and has brought great pain into the lives of the people in his orbit. He lost his father. He accidentally got Elektra's father killed, and then later had Elektra herself die in his arms. He contributed to the circumstances that led to Heather's suicide. One of his villains killed Glori. Another killed Karen Page, and nearly killed his mother. Yet another put Milla in a psychiatric hospital, possibly permanently. His brother just literally died in his place. Foggy's life has been in danger more times than I can list. Matt's story has a towering body count, and he carries that grief with him at all times--particularly in circumstances when his life is in shambles, when enemies are closing in, and when those around him are in the crosshairs or have just survived being there. Of course Matt would think that everyone would be "better off" without him around. In the purest, most practical sense, he's probably not wrong. And so, when he lets his loved ones think he is dead and tells himself it's for their own good, I do think he genuinely believes it.

But of course, that also isn't entirely true or realistic. Sending the people who care about him into mourning again and again is not protecting them. And when you really look closely, it's obvious that Matt's most frequent reason for faking his death is the same reason he clings so strongly to the Daredevil identity despite the pain it has caused him: escape. When Matt feels stressed, under pressure, unable to think, or powerless, he can always put on that suit and hop out the window. And when Matt's world is falling apart and he cannot cope at all and doesn't know what else to do, he abandons his life. He escapes into a different identity. He leaves. In his head it's for the people he loves, but it's clearly also for himself. And as frustrating as this coping mechanism can be as a long-term Daredevil reader, I also love it for how incredibly human it is.

With all of this said, though, I think the funniest answer is that Matt inherited some kind of when-in-doubt-fake-your-death gene from his mom.

#Long post #briefcasejuice #Daredevil #Matt Murdock #Asks #Commentary #Adventures in Continuity #ID in alt text #I adore this question. Thank you for sending it!

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Even as an OC x Beomgyu supporter I only voted that way because I really don’t want Taehyun and OC together.

That man deserves so much better LMAOO. I’m genuinely curious why people want him to be with her, she obviously loves Beomgyu and vice-versa.

I do feel for her though but I hope this is building up to a greater plan so she can redeem herself.

She could’ve gone back to Beomgyu without cheating on her husband THE FIRST DAY LMAOO but I guess that’s what happens when Beomgyu’s love is all she has known her whole life. But then again— that doesn’t excuse her, I’d be pretty hurt too 💀.

Beomgyu is a lost cause 😭.

Before you say this is my internalized misogyny— maybe so 👩🏼‍🦲— but I never had any hope for him 🕺. I really did expect too much out of OC 😔.

Even though I want them to end up together because that is what they want— I really dislike both of them IDHDBEI. They deserve each other, I hope I’m wrong about OC because I expected better (?).

I was all OC x Beomgyu because that is what they both want but the last chapter is just revealing how selfish they both are. At least in the chapters prior I could blame Beomgyu for all of it and OC was just a victim of circumstance but now she’s deliberately careless about hurting Taehyun and his image (fully aware of the consequences).

There was the chance that she could have been publicly affectionate to drive Taehyun away but I’m pretty sure she knows that’ll make him fight harder so 💀. Like- she says she went back to prevent the war but her actions make me think: “did you really? 🕵️‍♂️”

She’s adding more fuel to the fire 👵😔💔.

Taehyun deserves an all paid trip to Hawaii 🏝️, he’s been through enough.

Sorry for my rant.

"I’m genuinely curious why people want him to be with her" i think because they believe taehyun is good for her and could actually provide her with a healthier relationship which is true. but again i'll say that tyun isn't that great either. his faults just pale in comparison to gyu's insanity. also i think they want him to be happy and since he wants oc then they want him to have her. or most likely they like him the most and since oc is a reader insert in the end, they want to be with him therefore need oc to be with him.

yeah oc definitely fucked up with that one. she fucks up a lot but that one was inexcusably selfish. gyu didn't even force her, she's the one who threw herself at him just because she couldn't handle the idea that he doesn't want her anymore. she never thought about how tyun would take it. this will definitely get addressed next chapter.

i mean oc expected too much out of oc lmao and she's disappointed in herself too. the thing with oc is that she never really was put in a situation that challenges her big talk so she believed she could do it and therefore the reader believed it too since the story is in her pov but once she was actually put in that situation, everyone was left disappointed (except gyu who knew all along lmao)

with oc, she really is a victim but she turned into a perpetrator too like how abuse victims can sometimes turn into abusers themselves. yeah she turned out this way because of what happened to her but that only explains it, doesn't excuse it, and that is something she'll have to reckon with soon. now whether she decides she wants to do something about it or just continue being selfish is yet to be revealed.

i love rants so thanks for sending it lmao ❤️

#mort talks #yamqn

[thisdreamplace]

Hi! So I am really conflicted about manifesting sometimes. Before I learned about the law, I would never tolerate someone cheating on me or treating me poorly. But after learning about the law, I have to brush it off and say they’re only treating me poorly because of my own thoughts…It just feels so conflicting because my friends all dislike my SP and don’t want me to get back with a guy who treated me like that. I’m the only one who knows about the law so to them I seem dumb for justifying and forgiving his shitty behavior. It’s just hard to believe in the law sometimes because it feels like I’m just allowing someone to treat me badly. And I know I shouldn’t be reaffirming that they treat me poorly but sometimes I feel like I’m being delusional by affirming that everything is perfect. Because a year ago when I didn’t know about the law I would’ve just dropped someone like that right away and never looked back. I want to believe in the law, but at the same time if it’s not real I’m being an idiot for justifying shitty behavior and blaming someone else’s actions on my own thoughts. Sorry I’m kind of just venting but I’m also wondering if you have any advice for someone who sometimes feels conflicted!!

It only feels that way because on a level, you're misinterpreting the teachings. You still feel like a victim to life, otherwise it wouldn't feel like you're "allowing" poor treatment. You would feel more powerful and trusting. You can't take responsibility for your life and feel bad about it... because that still shows the victim mentality that you are operating from. I have been there plenty of times and it's important to truly step into responsibility, from a place of power.

This isn't a blame game. It's not their fault or your fault. But it is about taking actual responsibility for yourself and standing confident in knowing you have the power to change it. It's about seeing both them and yourself through the eyes of unconditional love, because that's who you really are. God of your reality, unconditional love at your core. And you no longer feel like a victim to the actions of others, because you know how that person isn't actually hurting you. You've just created the illusion of such. Everyone is love at their core and it's up to us to allow that lovely version of them to shine through, but we must begin with ourselves.

I think Dylan James explains this kind of issue soooooo well. In one video he explains how, this isn't a ticket to endure undesirable behavior. Everyone is you pushed out isn't an excuse to lay down and take abuse, disrespect, or anything else undesirable. What it really is, is a ticket to take back your power, take back responsibility, and to get what you want because you deserve exactly what you want. Period. Dylan says how you don't need to pacify this behavior. You don't need to argue with your friends to prove how your sp is worthy. Once again, this is coming from a victim mentality. Because if you were confident within yourself and in your sp (which would just mean even more confidence in yourself, as eiypo) then you wouldn't need their validation or approval. You don't even need your sp's validation. You just need yours.

Dylan says how, when you understand this, you can leave it alone more confidently. He says something along the lines of, "I am not accepting any undesirable behavior. You are going to show up respecting me, loving me, and adoring me because that's how I feel about myself and you have no choice but to show up that way for me. So I am going to go and enjoy my life, and when you're ready to show up the way I know you will, then we can talk. But until then, I'll be over here enjoying my life, not entertaining any undesirable behavior." See, that's the mindset to take on. Not this, "well, you treat me badly but I guess it's my fault so I guess it's okay if you act this way because it's my fault anyway so I guess I have to deal with it." No, you get yourself together and you trust in your desire that it's going to come and match you. And it must, because your desires are a promise. They are meant for you. When in the victim mentality, you're just perpetuating the old story. Plus, your friends are a clear example of how you truly feel about yourself. Everyone is you pushed out works through everyone, and your friends are clearly mirroring the judgment you feel on yourself about this entire situation. They're not looking down on you, you're looking down on you and they're mirroring that.

It's good that you were able to see undesirable behavior before and walk away from it. The problem with that approach is you still allowed the source of the behavior to stay alive, because it was you who that experience came from. We don't deal with the circumstances by making a change in the 3D. Remember, we cannot change the mirror by force. We turn within ourselves and we make the change we wish to experience. The difference is now, you take responsibility and you don't ever have to walk away from something you truly want. Even if you walk away in the 3D, you know within you how it's all working out perfectly and your desires are meant for you. They will make their way to you in the way that you desire them to. They are already perfect for you. Trust in that.

Here's the Dylan James video, by the way. I truly recommend you watch it because it aligns so well with your issue right now.

You don't have to feel sorry for venting! You're allowed to say how you feel, especially with such a complex topic. The law isn't always the easiest to apply and understand and it's normal to think in these kind of conflicted ways at first. As you persist, it's going to click more and you're going to feel more confident in yourself and your power. Hopefully this helps! 💖

#sp #eiypo

[babyhoney-28]

So this is me trying to type out some of the thoughts I have regarding the current stunt around Harry.

I have the feeling a lot of us are still trying to make sense of what is going on, because so much about this situation just doesn’t seem to make any sense at all. People are definitely confused and irritated and it seems like no one has really been able to make sense of it all as of yet.

What I want to start with, because it’s what’s been the hardest for me to wrap my head around, is the wedding situation. Especially the pictures showing Harry happily officiating Jeff and his wife. I don’t want to really go into the fact that holding a wedding these days, especially in a city like LA where covid cases are running over the hospitals, is extremely ignorant, inconsiderate and basically a big fuck you to everyone who is struggling because of the virus for whatever reason that may be.

I think we all felt extremely disappointed in Harry for not only attending this wedding despite the pandemic, but also officiating it. This behaviour is quite frankly very hypocritical, especially considering he put out that stay at home shirt, yet has since then not at all been acting accordingly. We all thought he knew better and would do better than this and we have every right to be upset about it.

It also was really weird to see Harry so happy next to Jeff, when most of us had the feeling, especially over the last couple of month, that Harry isn’t doing very well atm. We’ve seen the acceptance speech videos, watched the jingle balls performance and how off, exhausted and unhappy he seemed. Tbh it was and still is really concerning. We therefore have been worried and suspecting that Jeff is miss-managing Harry, trying to create an idol and image out of Harry that he himself has said multiple times he doesn’t want to be. All Harry wants to do is make music and entertain people. But here is his team, pushing him down everyone’s throat and creating fake narratives to make him more interesting, to the point where people are already getting tired of him, because they are basically creating an image for him that is just not very likeable (e.g. queerbaiter & homewrecker).

People have been quite vocal over their dislike towards Jeff, while simultaneously another part of Harry’s fandom have been aggressively defending him, those that view Jeff as Harry’s best friend (which ironically are the same people that not only shit on the other 1d boys but also on Harry’s actual familiy).

So here we were all worried about Harry, believing he was unhappy with the situation he was in because of what his team and Jeff are turning him into (which has gone as far as articles being written about it) when suddenly those pictures of Harry officiating Jeff’s wedding drop, contradicting what we were thinking, while simultaneously proving what other fans believe, that they are in fact close friends.

So this was the part that confused me the most over this whole situation. Why would Harry so happily participate in this wedding and stunt when he seemed so unhappy and had every right to be so?

Here comes the part where I might be reaching, but the more information we got about this wedding, the more sketchy and sus it became. When I first hear people suggest this whole wedding was a stunt, I thought people were reaching, but the more I think about it the more realistic I think it is. Because:

1) why was there paparazzi if this was a private wedding?

2) why did Harry bring a +1 when this was a small private wedding that took place during a pandemic. There’s really no justification for her to have been there, especially when they just started dating

3) when did this wedding take place? This weekend? In November? Because there apparently haven’t been any events at that location due to covid

4) the wedding dress situation is sus. A dress from 2018 that was most likely second hand, whatever. But the fact that it was not fitted to her at all is just very suspicious

5) They might have been married for some time according to some articles

It looks like the paparazzi were there for Harry alone, both to show that he officiated the wedding (and prove the close friendship) and be used in order to announce the relationship. The paps were called there with an intention after all, and Olivia, even if she really was Harry’s gf, had absolutely no business being there given the current circumstances and restrictions. You just don’t bring +1 to a wedding at the moment, especially not if you only just started dating them.

All of this considered, I have the feeling this entire wedding might have been faked with the function to 1) show that Harry and Jeff are close friends and 2) to announce the relationship. Faking a wedding really isn’t that hard if you think about it, all you need is a location, some people in suits and robes, a couple and a photographer. I’d say the current situation makes it even easier because everything is smaller and toned down anyways. It also isn’t that unimaginable that they would pull shit like this. Jeffs dad is allegedly worse than Simon, and we all know what Simon did to Louis. What is faking one wedding that helps dealing with two issues at once compared to baby gate? Even if said wedding took place during a pandemic (this is where I think this whole thing may have actually taken place in November when the covid situation wasn’t as bad)..

Obviously, H&O is a PR stunt. It’s so painfully obvious in fact, it’s pretty much developed into a comedy show within less than 24 hours.

Now, the question that we are all still having is why? Why pair these two, when it puts both of them in such a bad light and certainly can’t be beneficial for their careers in any way, shape or form? Why did Olivia agree to this when this compromises her professionalism? Those seem to be the main questions that people are struggling to come to find a reasonable answer for. However, if one looks back at other Hollywood scandals, this seems to fit right in there, or isn’t even half as bad as some previous scandals or gossip. Think of the Jennifer, Brad and Angelina situation or the cheating scandal around Kristen Steward for example. It’s stories like this that are eaten up by the media and the general public (especially the American audience), because it’s juicy and scandalous and something to gossip about. But in the long run, it’s probably not as career damaging as we make it out to be, since people will get tired and move on to the next drama. It will taint their reputations yes, but also bring them a lot of attention and will most likely not be as ruinous to their careers as we think.

But what could be in it for Olivia? Promo for the movie, maybe because the interest from the go wasn’t big enough yet? She might have other projects coming up that she could need the attention for.. I don’t know but she will have her reasons.

As for Harry, I think we have to admit that he has been without a stunt for much longer than we could have hoped for.. He’s been in involved in narratives just as bad before, this only earns him one more bad title (homewrecker). This stunt however certainly helps in making him even more of a household name, which is exactly what his team has been going for. Thinking further ahead, Olivia might be who future songs of his could be claimed to be about. My hope for the reason of this stunt, as it is the hope of all of us, is that something is going to change about Louis’ stunt situation soon, that baby gate might really soon come to an end and that H&O serves to prevent Larry speculation to arise.

This leaves the question of how long this stunt is going to last. It by now seems like they really are going through with this stunt, so we might have to deal with this for a while (though part of me still hopes they will pull a they are just friends and he is being there for her after her break up card)...

#harry styles #stunting #pr stunt #closeting #larry stylinson #harry styles olivia wilde

[coolgirlontheweb]

eren jaeger (Attack On Titan) - ISFP

eren is a true IFSP - his dominant Fi seeks feelings of action, and honours his own beliefs and values. anytime eren says “i’ll kill the titans” or anything he says about his goals are driven by Fi. rarely do we ever see eren try to see the other side’s reasoning or why the titans eat humans pre time-skip, unlike armin, who indeed is an Ni dom and asks “what does it, no, they want?” the second he is confronted by the female titan. in season 2 episode 8 after he is confronted with the truth about bertholdt and reiner’s titan identities, he instantly shouts, deems them psychotic mass murderers and announces that he was going to “make you die the most excruciating deaths possible”. ISFPs who display the negative aspects of Fi suffer from a lack of objectivity, are unable to relate to things outside of their personal experience and treat their feelings as fact, unaware of their own biases. pre-time skip eren is all of this and never considers exactly why reiner and bertholdt are titans. only once does he actually weigh his options and make sense of what is happening, rather than immediately having an emotional reaction to it, and that is when ymir, a Ti dom, reminds him of his situation. signs of a Te grip are prevalent here - he was inclined to blame and reproach before he employed any rational thought to his circumstance. small hints of his Ni developing appear here when he begins to rationalise on how to escape, and what being captured may mean for the future and the scouts, but this is all shrouded in how overbearing his Fi is, i really don’t see how it can be overlooked.

throughout all of the manga, eren’s dominant Fi is at its optimal expression when he cries to ramzi in Chapter 131, “i’m sorry, i’m sorry…” optimal Fi expression helps dominant Fi users feel deep empathy when seeing people suffer, and works to ensure that every person has the freedom to authentically be themselves. even though eren knows he is going to kill ramzi, he cannot hold back from saving him, and crying to him is a heartbreaking portrayal of Fi in a doomed character. In the case that he was an Ni dom, eren would find it worthless to approach ramzi in spite of the future - which he actually initially thinks before saving him from being beaten, a sign of his Ni developing but his Fi overpowering it.

additionally, an unhealthy dominant Fi can foster feelings of instability, self-righteousness and self-pitiness. whenever eren is confronted with the damning reality of the titans’ existence he reverts from a strong willed and passionate Fi dom to one who is all of the aforementioned and above all, self-blaming. the greatest example of this that i can currently think of is in season 3 episode 9 during rod reiss’ abnormal titan attack on orvud district - eren’s Fi was so unhealthy that after rumination on being the cause of so many deaths and his overall role as “humanity’s saviour” (which is a self-righteous assumption, albeit true-ish), he begins to blame and pity himself so much that he started to physically beat himself up until he bled.

extraverted thinking (Te), being his inferior function, is naturally the least accessible to him, and therefore historically the least used. pre time-skip eren shows symptoms of Te grip. Te is an assertive function and tackles challenges head on and above all, its defining feature is that it applies logical, objective reasoning to the outside world. pre time-skip eren’s Te grip meant that he was ready to pick a fight about anything disagreeable, and had an overpowering urge to correct everything that is ‘wrong’. Te grip causes inferior Te users to recognise and dislike problems wherever they see them, yet offer no solutions to them. seldom did eren ever solve problems, he relied on erwin’s dominant Te for that and followed suit, or found guidance through armin. come the time-skip, and we are confronted by a strategic and assertive eren; his Te has noticeably developed. although, he has an extremely destructive expression of Te, i.e: abuse of power and position (as the founding titan) to get what he wants and believes the weak (his enemies, marleyans, the warriors and briefly the scouts) get what they deserve. he breaks out of jail, uses extremist ideology and manpower (the yeagerists) and ignores the chain of command, and his friends’ pleas to complete his goal. unhealthy Te users tend to be blind to nuance/context and see everything from a black and white, "i'm right and you're wrong" stance. they also have an extremely inflexible approach - rarely being convinced to change their ideas and plans. eren shows ALL of this: his Te is so influential that he is blind to any other approach to the Rumbling offered by the scouts or even zeke, since we know he doesn't activate a "small-scale" rumbling, but the whole thing.

alongside his developed Ni, eren’s character seems to do a complete 180 but it’s only a development of his Ni-Te. in my opinion, the reason why his shift in personality is because alongside an actual Ni-Te development, his facade makes it so that the strategy and stoicism he has adopted becomes pronounced. an INTJ wouldn't have trouble with healthy expressions of Ni-Te since it comes naturally to them - think of yelena: whilst all of this is happening, she remains the most pacific and rational person on paradis island. eren seems calm on the surface, but the emotional stress of having to rely on Ni-Te is definitely there. you can see it in his table talk with armin and mikasa. he attempts to stay calm in the beginning but all of the emotional stress comes bubbling to the surface in an outburst of unhealthy Fi rage. something else i think it's worth mentioning is that functions operate in oppositional pairs that push and pull against each other, creating internal conflict. eren’s singular worldview and morals in seasons 1-3 meant there wasn’t any room for internal conflict, but after seeing the other side of the wall, his Fi and Te are constantly in conflict. eren’s newfound Te, wants efficiency and order, but how does he fare with losing his humanity and treating the world as a machine as his Fi is challenged for the first time?

an early signal of eren’s Ni development is the thwarting of his previously healthy Se expression in season 3 episode 22. with Ni's future orientated intuition, causing him to be uninspired by sensory experiences, his Se gets shut down as he loses his happiness to the future. eren cannot bring himself to have fun at the beach, nor experience what he and armin dreamed about from a young age, instead, he points toward the horizon, towards the future and is utterly defeated by its prospects. this is honestly so sad, it’s as though he withers away as a person after the vision of the future.

developing Ni needs a lot of introspectivity, maturing and objectivity for a dominant Fi user. eren attains these traits in 2 ways; first, he actually peers into the future through the paths. this is sort of a cheat code into developing Ni, but it nonetheless dictates how he acts post paths vision. Ni is a future orientated function, and it experiences the world through what will happen. since eren already knows the future, his Ni expression is almost forced to mature. however, the second way that Ni is developed by eren naturally is when he runs away to marley and lives among eldians in the liberio internment camp.

contrary to suffering from a lack of objectivity due to negative Fi expression, eren is confronted with the other side of the wall. as he learns about the rest of his world, he slowly becomes more objective and understanding - his worldview has broadened, and he indulges in the part of Ni that approaches the world with a unified vision. albeit a weak Ni expression, which gives him difficulty in making wise decisions in season 4 because of a lack of clarity and no positive vision of the future, eren’s Ni develops nonetheless.

this becomes evident when we contrast his talk with reiner in season 2 episode 8 to his talk with reiner in Season 4 Episode 5. in the latter eren employs a mix of Ni-Te, almost showcasing his newfound functions to us, the reader, and reiner. eren is more calculating, authoritative, objective, and aware of his long term goal and its consequences.

#mbti! #isfp #eren jaeger

[ritzu]

Why Ging isn’t as shitty as you think (META/ANALYSIS)

MAJOR HUNTER X HUNTER SPOILERS, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

These are not my full thoughts on the character, but I wanted to bring up a rebuttal for one specific point people use against Ging: the fact that he didn’t see Gon after the Chimera Ant arc.

My personal belief is that Ging already went to see Gon in the hospital, but didn’t tell anyone for Gon’s sake. Ging and Gon are almost identical, especially in their thinking. That’s why Gon isn’t mad at Ging for “leaving," because he understands him.

(MORE UNDER CUT)

We know that Gon has one goal throughout the show: to find Ging. Ging knew this too. Everyone knows this. Hell, it’s the reason for the whole show. However, we know Gon as a character, and he refuses to achieve victory in a half assed manner. The first example of this is when he refused to use his Hunter License until he punched Hisoka in the face.

Another instance is the Greed Island dodgeball game. If Ging didn’t know what transpired in the dodgeball game at Greed Island already (voodoo Game Master magic, I don’t know. Hell, we don’t even know what his Nen ability is yet.), he likely found out through Razor himself. It’s possible that after hearing that the game had been cleared, by his own son nonetheless, he would come pop in for a visit. We also see him with List and Dwun during the Chairmen Election arc, so they could’ve told him what happened there. 

My last example, and the one I will primarily be focusing on, is at the beginning of the Chimera Ant arc, when he said “no” when Kite asks if he wanted to know where Ging was at the time.

Kite also told Gon about how he also had to complete the same task as Gon: finding Ging. This is another reason why Gon admires Kite, because he had accomplished the impossible feat. Kite is Gon’s hero, he is everything Gon wants to be. So naturally, Gon would want to do it in the the way Kite would. When Pitou’s corpse cuts off Gon’s arm, he states that he is happy, because now he is like Kite.

You would think that if Gon had the chance, he would want to find Ging, right? Jump at any opportunity? But Gon refused when offered the chance to know, because then it wouldn’t be done correctly. Kite knew this, too. He knew that Gon would never take him up on that offer, because he’s like his father.

So, Gon is in the hospital. If Ging went to see him, and someone saw him and told Gon, how do you think Gon would feel? His journey to find his father, the sole reason he became a Hunter, is so important throughout the series. And he wasn’t even able to be conscious for the thing he worked so hard happening to him. 

To Gon, the world is black and white. Something is either good or bad, no gray area in-between. If Gon gains something from you (although not in a manipulative way), you are good. If you hurt him, you are bad. You could be a genuinely good person and Gon could still see you as bad (Komugi), or you could be a mass murderer and be considered good (Killua). His moral compass is skewed, because he is a child.

I just want to clarify that Gon is in no way a "monster." He is 14. The way he reacted is extremely realistic considering the circumstances. But I'll dive into that another time.

So if Gon only sees things as “right” or “wrong”, what way do you think he would see meeting his dad that way as? Knowing that the only reason why he was able to meet him was through the worst mistake of his life, knowing that his lifelong goal was finally achieved in the hospital, with Gon not even being aware of it? Knowing that the sole reason he got to meet Ging was because he was dying, with no say in the manner? He’d view that as wrong, right? This ties into Gon not willing to achieve anything in a half assed way, because any victory handed to him or from outside interference is viewed as cheating and “wrong.” 

Ging understands that Gon wouldn’t be able to accept this victory, and so he didn’t go to visit him. Instead of him finding Gon, he let Gon find him. Personally, I believe that he did go to see Gon, but that’s up to your own interpretation. When confronted about it, he never outright denies that he didn’t visit Gon, but didn’t agree with it, either. Feel free to agree or disagree, my point still stands.

That’s why he said what he the things he did to Leorio during the QNA. “Did Gon himself say he wanted to see me?” is such an important line, and it’s almost universally misunderstood. Ging didn’t say that to be cruel, he said that because he cares about Gon’s feelings. He realized that Gon wouldn’t be able to accept it if that was their first meeting. It’s all about the wording, honestly. If Ging had said, “I don’t want to see Gon,” or something pertaining to how he himself feels about the situation, he would be [even more of] an asshole. However, he asks how Gon would feel. If Gon woke up from his Nen-induced coma and asked for Ging, he would’ve gone. In his own messed up way, this is him being a "good" father to Gon. 

There’s also a good chance he said that to make Leorio angry. The only reason Ging was there in the first place was to have fun, and we know that he thought that Leorio was interesting. This is just speculation, but he could’ve said that to get him all riled up and do something “interesting” (like punching Ging).

I just want to say in no way am I saying that he is a good father. The whole point of Hunter x Hunter is there is no one character who is "good" or "bad," which is why it played out the way it did in the Chimera Ant arc. Yes, he's an asshole. But I think people should stop demonizing him, and try to look at his character from a different lens. Ging is a bad dad. No ifs, ands, or buts. If you dislike him, that is 100% valid and I completely understand why. People like to bring this scene up as damming evidence that he doesn't care about Gon, though, and I just wanted to share my piece on it.

If there’s something you’d be interested in me analyzing, feel free to send me an ask!

#ging freecss #gon freecss #hunter x hunter #hxh #meta #analysis

[vestigiallegs]

And more specifics: 37 Sam, 22 Ike, 36 Ancha, 41 Mira, 14 Stranger, 1 Terry, 44 Chris

THIS IS A BIG ONE!!

37: Do people have justified grudges against your character?

Oh, certainly. Another way in which Sam is a Shrek recolor is that she is not merely unfairly maligned for circumstances out of her control, she also creates problems for herself and makes situations worse than they need to be.

There are a  few ways in which she contributes to this problem, in general:

1. If someone thinks she is scary and it annoys her enough she will lean into it, “for fun.”

2. She interprets a lot of conflict as fun and games because she is kind of a dick and she does just... enjoy fighting. Since she shrugs off this fighting as fun and games, she often misjudges how much her opponent might forgive because she’s using her own skewed metric as reference.

But those are general statements. You’re probably looking for specifics, and I’m afraid I must let you know I do not really have them at this time. Despite Sam having a variety pack of enemies, I’ve developed Sam’s relationships with the people SHE has grudges against (ie Lance, Page) more than I’ve developed the specifics for anyone who has a running grudge against HER. It’s more of a nebulous crowd of people whose toes she has trampled, some from her shitty younger days, some fresh new enemies...

(I do have one specific Person With A Justified Grudge On Sam that I keep contemplating but I’m not sure if he/she/they/??? will ever make it out of the development phase and become a real character/story element.)

22: What is the worst thing your character has ever done? 

My idea was that I was going to answer this disincluding things Isaac has done to himself because that’s a rock bottom that he keeps digging deeper, but even when he does bad stuff to other people it tends to be in tandem with bad things he is doing to himself...

Isaac has plenty capacity for being a dick, and spent a good portion of his life not considering other peoples’ feelings very hard. But, at the same time, he's naturally reserved and at the time where he was the most empathy deficit he also was in the habit of minding his own business. So he was more of a jerk in passing to people than out there doing real heinous shit...

I don’t want to say “cheating with Mira and everything that happened for years after is the worst thing he has ever done” because that feels like a cop out even if it’s probably technically true...

Lying to everyone with his “ah yeah, that’s me, Able-Bodied Man” LARP is bad but in the end he’s doing more damage to himself than anyone else with that one... not that the emotional damages it does to the people who care about him don’t matter because they do...

I guess he doesn’t have a whole lot of Big Worst Moments, just a long resume of being kind of a shithead, letting himself get worse by putting himself in the company of other shithead(s) and taking their shithead advice, and then course-correcting his behavior in a way that makes him also kind of a shithead in a different way.

36: Does anyone want to harm your character?

Oh, probably. Ancha is good at making enemies for a gentle pacifist.

In her youth, participating in politics games routinely earned her all manner of dangerous enemies. Of course, she’s long since outlived anyone who wanted to assassinate her, considering that she’s outlived politics and Atlantean society in general.

Considering there are other (undeveloped at this time) immortals out there, she probably still has SOME enemies...

At the very least, Lucas would probably take a shot at her if he thought he could get away with it!

41: Would your character want to have any children?

“No” with exceptions. Mira is not a nurturing person, nor does she particularly like children, and doesn’t put any value on ideas of “continuing the bloodline” or “making the next generation better” or anything like that. She doesn’t dream of having a family. She’s very much a career woman to the exclusion of other things in life. It’s an easy cut and dried “she shouldn’t raise children which is okay because she doesn’t want them anyway” situation until it isn’t.

You see, all logical reasoning points to “Mira doesn’t want and therefore wouldn’t have children,” but she’s also not immune to the allure of dramatic projections of the future. I could see her keeping an accidental pregnancy, or procreating on purpose if her partner framed it in a romantic, ego-buffing way.

The reality would remain unappealing to her though. Best case scenario she is one of those overbearing achievement hyper-focused parents who is extremely invested in and proud of their child’s talents and accomplishments but emotionally not there.

14: What is the cutest thing your character has ever done? 

You come to my own home and ask me to write a hit piece on my own character. How dare you.

I suppose Stranger’s #1 “cute” behavior is how they behave when they fail to find an excuse to hate someone or be rude to them. Stranger doesn’t need a big reason to dislike someone, and will often pick out little things to justify being a prickly son of a bitch. But there is a method to their misanthropy, a sort of equation/assessment they run in their head in order to determine that they are Right to be a bitter and rude in a given situation. Despite the fact that this assessment is extremely rigged, occasionally they run into someone they just cannot justify being an asshole to (example: Nikki).

When this happens, they have no choice but to try feign being normal despite the agony trying not to be a freak to people brings them. They make small talk like it’s actively killing them, hissed and grunted through gritted teeth.

It’s like aw. They’re trying. Not doing a good job, but trying.

1: What is your character's biggest fear? 

Terry doesn’t have a lot of big, conscious fears. If you asked him his biggest fear he’d probably say something like, Santa Claus, or a specific Five Nights At Freddy’s jumpscare, shit in that ballpark. He’s not terribly in touch with the concept of fear, same as he’s not super in touch with the concept of mortality.

He does worry about some things that are actually real, but not very deeply and not very often. None of those worries are centered on himself either, he’s confident that he can bounce back from anything and more or less sees himself as endlessly smart, talented, evasive of consequence, and unkillable. Instead he worries about things he knows to be more fragile than himself, like Nugget with her fragile avian bones and respiratory system, or Ike with his fragile human feelings.

44: What is your character proud of? 

Chris is not proud of much, and she undermines her few real accomplishments as incomplete or not counting. During her youth as an ELF WIZARD competing in the championship challenges, she was quite accomplished. She withdrew from the tournament, though, and never made it to her televised match. She’s got one of those “if you aren’t first you’re last” sort of attitudes, so as far as she’s concerned, it’s failure all the way down.

THAT SAID she can do a sweet kickflip. She’s proud of that. She has a SWEET GAMER COLLECTION of VIDEOGAME, and she’s proud of that. And she makes for a great, reliable mafia goon! She’s really proud of that one.

#answered ask #sam #ike #ancha #mira #stranger #terry #chris

[c-ptsdrecovery]

One of the options you have for any problem is "radical acceptance". Radical acceptance is about accepting life on life’s terms and not resisting what you cannot or choose not to change. Radical acceptance is about saying yes to life, just as it is.

Imagine that you talk with an apartment manager about leasing an apartment in a popular complex that is completely full. He agrees to call you when the two-bedroom apartment is available. You wait for months, then stop by to check with him. When you arrive, he is signing a lease agreement with a couple for a two-bedroom unit. When you confront him, he shrugs. That shouldn’t happen. It isn’t fair. And it did happen.

The pain is the loss of an apartment that you really wanted. You may feel sad and hurt. Suffering is what you do with that pain and the interpretation you put on the pain. Suffering is optional; pain is not.

It’s difficult to accept what you don’t want to be true. And it’s more difficult to not accept. Not accepting pain brings suffering.

Refusing to Accept Reality

People often say, “I can’t stand this,” “This isn’t fair,” “This can’t be true,” and “It shouldn’t be this way.” It’s almost as if we think refusing to accept the truth will keep it from being true, or that accepting means agreeing. Accepting doesn’t mean agreeing.

It’s exhausting to fight reality, and it doesn’t work. Refusing to accept that you were fired for something you didn’t do, that your friend cheated you, or that you weren’t accepted into the college you wanted to attend doesn’t change the situation, and it adds to the pain you experience.

Accepting reality is difficult when life is painful. No one wants to experience pain, disappointment, sadness, or loss. But those experiences are a part of life. When you attempt to avoid or resist those emotions, you add suffering to your pain. You may build the emotion bigger with your thoughts or create more misery by attempting to avoid the painful emotions. You can stop suffering by practicing acceptance.

Life is full of experiences, some that you enjoy and others you dislike. When you push away or attempt to avoid feelings of sadness and pain, you also diminish your ability to feel joy. Avoidance of emotions often leads to depression and anxiety. Avoidance can also lead to destructive behaviors, such as gambling, drinking too much, overspending, eating too little or too much, and overworking. These behaviors may help avoid pain in the short run, but they only make the situation worse in the long run.

Acceptance means that you can turn your resistant ruminating into accepting thoughts like, “I’m in this situation. I don’t approve of it. I don’t think it’s OK, but it is what it is, and I can’t change that it happened.”

Imagine that you are late for an important job interview. Traffic is especially congested, and you are stopped at red light after red light. Raging at the traffic lights or the drivers in front of you will not help you get to your destination sooner and will only add to your upset. Accepting the situation and doing the best you can will be less emotionally painful, and likely more effective. With acceptance you will arrive at your interview less distressed and perhaps better able to manage the situation.

Radical Acceptance Requires Practice

Radical acceptance is a skill that requires practice. The ability to accept that traffic is heavy, that it’s raining on the day you wanted to go to the beach, and that your friend cancels when you had plans to spend the day together is important for coping well and living a more contented life. When you practice acceptance, you are still disappointed, sad, and perhaps fearful in such situations, but you don’t add the pain of non-acceptance to those emotions and make things worse. Practicing acceptance in these situations also helps you prepare for more difficult circumstances.

Everyone experiences losing someone they love. The death of a parent, child, spouse, or dear friend is particularly difficult. Your first reaction may be to say something like “No, it can’t be!” even though you know it's true.

The death of a loved one will always be difficult and painful. Acceptance means that you can begin to heal. Resisting reality delays healing and adds suffering to your pain. When you practice acceptance every day, you may be more prepared when the most difficult experiences in life occur. So accepting the heavy traffic is about easing your suffering in that moment — and also about being able to decrease your suffering in more difficult situations that may come.

Reasons to Not Accept Reality

Sometimes people behave as if they believe not accepting something will change the situation. It’s like accepting painful situations or emotions is being passive or giving in. That’s not it. It’s allowing reality to be as it is.  

Other times, people don't want to feel the pain. There are many life situations that are painful and are not in our control. We can't avoid that pain, but we can control how much we suffer over the experience. Suffering is the part we can control.

A Place to Begin

Life gives us lots of opportunities to practice acceptance. If you have a problem that you can solve, then that is the first option. If you can’t solve it, but can change your perception of it, then do that. If you can’t solve it or change your perception of an issue, then practice radical acceptance.

Begin by focusing on your breath. Just notice thoughts you might have, such as the situation isn’t fair, or you can’t stand what happened. Let those thoughts pass. Give yourself an accepting statement, such as “It is what it is.” Practice it over and over again. Acceptance often requires many repetitions.

#anxiety #depression #radical acceptance

[chaossmagic]

Ways Andy was worse than Robert? I believe it but I love when you talk about it.

Listen, I despise Andy with the fiery rage of a thousand suns and I will happily tell you why.

He killed his own mother, then rather than own up to it and apologize (which he should have done given it was, according to him, a genuine accident) he conspired with his father to conceal the circumstances surrounding her death even from his own brother, who was traumatized by her loss and blamed himself for not being able to save her despite being FOURTEEN FUCKING YEARS OLD. And yes Andy was the same age but GOD. THE NERVE OF HIM. And Jack too for being like...wholly supportive of Andy when he started the fire that killed his wife and being sympathetic towards him but when Robert became very depressed and started acting out and being ‘wild’ because of that grief and trauma he got labelled as being ‘bad’ and uncontrollable like HE had done something wrong.

Then Andy shot his own dad by accident BUT ONLY BECAUSE HE WAS AIMING FOR ROBERT. JESUS CHRIST. What kind of psycho camps out all night in front of their siblings’s caravan waiting for him to come out so he could shoot him??? What?? Who even - You know what, that whole thing is just insane and awful and horrible and just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to how Andy treated Robert and his being complicit in the emotional abuse Robert suffered within his family.

The Katie thing. On the surface it’s just a classic tale of siblings fighting over the same girl but it’s....not. It’s a lot more than that and it goes a lot deeper than simple teenage cheating and rivalry. Initially Robert dated Katie just to piss off Andy and prove he could - again it was another way of him acting out due to emotional abuse and neglect and wanting attention from a father who didn’t love him as much as he loved Andy because he was ‘too difficult’ and ‘different’ - but he genuinely loved her and thought she felt the same, but she went back to Andy in the end and...Robert was heartbroken. And it was just basically another reason why he was useless and no good and unwanted by everyone.

Andy was openly and pretty significantly complicit in his father’s emotional abuse of Robert, and contributed to it for years of their lives. Even when Robert came back in 2014 he was pulling the same ‘You’re just a whiny brat who wants attention’ shit, refusing to understand or even believe Robert’s attempts to explain his side of things and what he experienced or listen to him when he disagreed with his assessments of their childhood and of Jack particularly. He sat back and did nothing while Jack lavished him with attention and treated Robert like dirt. Not to mention the, er, questionable moments of prejudice/homophobia Andy displayed right around the time when Robert would have been struggling with his sexuality and particularly in their later teen years after we know Robert was violently beaten for displaying same-sex attraction by Jack. 

Andy beat his wife. He is a domestic abuser!!! He went to jail for it!!! 

He paid Ross to shoot Robert in cold blood. The fuck? 

Literally every single time he’s belittled Robert’s trauma or made light of his own suffering, when Robert himself tried to speak up about it. One scene that comes to mind is during that confrontation between Robert and Andy leading up to their crash on the lane, and Andy says “Is that really what this is about? That he [dad] liked me more than you?” AS IF IT WAS THAT SIMPLE OR STRAIGHTFORWARD. He refuses completely to listen or even try to listen to anything Robert says and has such a reductive and simplistic view of their lives and what their childhoods were like that it’s...astonishing, honestly. The idea that Andy thinks it’s just some silly kid rivalry or Robert being butthurt he didn’t get enough attention as a kid is DISGUSTING. It’s not about like and dislike, it’s about deep-seated trauma stemming from abuse and neglect, and being degraded and belittled and treated like there was something fundamentally wrong with you that couldn’t be fixed, every damn day.....BY YOUR OWN FATHER. 

But every time Robert tries or tried to talk about it, he got shut down and told he was being selfish, spoiled, whiny, self-centred, a brat etc. 

Oh!! And also Andy was responsible for the crash that killed Max but YET AGAIN, he deflected any of the blame or responsibility for that and let Robert bear the brunt of that responsibility! And let none of the fault rest on him!! He let Robert get the blame and their father’s anger and when he got kicked out of his home at nineteen with absolutely nothing except the clothes on his back and what little he could fit into his car....Andy. did. NOTHING. He didn’t speak up, he didn’t defend him, he didn’t show any honesty at all about the situation and just. Let it happen. He let Vic think her big brother just walked away and abandoned her!! He let the entire village think he left of his own accord when he was kicked out!! 

He also got his teenage girlfriend pregnant, but to be honest that’s not even that bad compared to the rest of this clownery he’s pulled over the years and in fact is probably quite normal so I can’t really use that as a reason why he’s a piece of shit. 

Oh and actually, actually, naming his children after a) his father who abused his brother while he did nothing and b) his mother whose death he was responsible for even while knowing how much Sarah meant to Robert as the only real parent he had who genuinely loved him is SUPER FUCKED UP. 

So anyway. In summary...Andy is terrible and I’m glad he’s gone, and he’s definitely nowhere near as bad a person as Robert despite him having done objectively ‘worse’ things because at least Robert can actually own up to shit he’s done and be genuinely sorry about it, whereas Andy....never actually apologized for anything ever in his life and continued to act like he was the injured party the whole time and like some kind of saint and a victim who bad things happened to, not who actually caused them.

#anon #anyway this is my andy sugden hate essay #WHY people think he's better than robert i have no idea #andy sugden #emmerdale

[shinygoku]

Liar Revealed! A Bug’s Life Essay

A Bug’s Life is my favourite Pixar movie and thus, it turns out I have a lot of thoughts about it. In this case, what was originally my interpretation soley in response to points I’ve seen raised on YouTube and TV Tropes has spun off into this mega essay.... all focused on a single scene.

But hey, it works with one of the film’s main messages; that something big grows out of a small idea!

The scene is the most notorious in the movie, at least from what I’ve seen, and I’m inclined to agree it’s the weakest part of this giant clock. But why is it like that and how could it have been handled better?

As I’ve said, this is actually my favourite (albeit not what I consider their very best) of Pixar’s output, and I wouldn’t have been able to go into such depth without a huge amount of love for the finished product, flawed as it may be.

It’s also possible I’ll write a more generalised thing on what I love about the film in the future, but I won’t promise anything o7;; 🐜

The Lie is ...laid

Actually, I should talk about two scenes. First is where the Lie is established:

After the humourous mutual misunderstanding between the Circus Bugs and Flik, the former are quite horrified to discover they’re expected to fight the Grasshoppers off themselves instead of putting on a show. Ahh, that old classic~

But no, they want out and Flik, who has just been informed by them during the welcoming shindig, is understandably rattled and despairing over this addition to his list of failures. He says the fallout will not only brand him, but his hypothetical grandchildren as a Terrible Loser and even says he’s as good as dead as soon as the other ants find out. Owch.

Before things get too heavy, the focus shifts around until The Bird becomes the main immediate threat. The whole Bird scene leads the ants to become convinced the Circus Bugs are really amazing warriors and, as this is the first time in what could be years that they have a crowd cheering for them it’s the success and Flik’s later idea to make a Giant Mech in the shape of a Bird instead of planning any actual combat that convinces them to play along.

So, that’s the lie set up and solidified. Now for the eventual fallout:

During a fun party after the Bird has been built, an ominous force arrives... PT Flea, the Jerkass ringmaster who had fired the Circus Bugs. This local bug promptly ruins everything by literally shining a light on the Circus Bugs and their nature as such, and then Flik is accidentally outed as the Guy Who Thought Up The Bird.

The Liar Revealed Trope

I would link the TV Tropes article here, but as tungle doesn’t like external sites I’ll just quote the more relevant parts from it:

“Liar Revealed in the Internal Reveal of The Lie, the facade maintained by a protagonist which provides the primary dramatic tension for the plot. This usually sets up the third act where the protagonists are forced to deal with the consequences of the lie on top of any external threats.

There are a few usual ways this ends up. If the lie was for selfish reasons, the protagonist will doubtless face the wrath of those he lied to, but along the way end up having a change of conscience, and try to redeem themselves through good acts and An Aesop about "what really matters". If the lie was well-intentioned, the protagonist may still find that others turn their backs on him, but go on to carry through with what they said they'd do anyway, proving themselves a hero after all.

It's worth noting that this trope is particularly easy and common to misuse, either in the tendency of the protagonist to Maintain the Lie for reasons that make no sense except for dramatic tension or of the deceived to turn against the protagonist for the deception in spite of other considerations that should by all rights absolve him.”

And in the folder there’s a specific entry for this film:

A Bug's Life has Flik supposedly finding "warrior bugs" to save his colony after misconstruing a situation. When he realizes his mistake (that they're circus performers rather than trained warriors), he's forced to keep the lie going in order to not cause panic among the other ants. Once the colony finds out, it inevitably results in one of the most painfully Played Straight examples of this trope in animation history... 

As you can see there, the dislike for this scene has seeped into the entry. Of course, TV Tropes is pretty informal and I like that, but it’s telling that this is a general perception.

Continue reading below the Cut! ✂

What I don’t like

So, I think my main issue with the scene boils down to... it’s very nebulous and unclear as to what’s so bad about Flik lying. Between the Council, the Queen and Atta, there seems to be a jumbled, confusing motive traffic jam that somehow results in what TV Tropes refers to the Liar Reveal Trope being played “Painfully Straight”.

But uhh, what’s the problem? Yes, Flik lied, but we know that wasn’t something he’d planned on doing, it was his attempt at damage control. The other ants don’t know that part, but still, what are they objecting to, specifically? That the Circus bugs are Circus bugs? That the Bird Plan was Flik’s? That.... lying is treated at an absolute moral failing regardless of the circumstances??

The council dudes are like: “OH WHAAAAT, the defence plan was by Clowns??” [No, it was Flik] “OH WHAAAT, we don’t have our mafia money prepared what if Hopper finds out we nearly sicced a fake bird on him!?”

The part about objecting to Clowns drafting the defence plans is actually the more reasonable explanation, but I guess they presumed warriors habitually made Decoy Bird plans instead of fighting themselves? There’s already a hole in their objections but it only gets worse.

The Queen is like: “Wow Flik evidently you’re a self serving prick. Anyway the best thing to do is pretend this never happened and no we’re not going to tell Hopper.”

Why the fuck would that happen? ‘Oh sorry Hopper we got sidetracked doing a ...thing... so we’re still picking your food no please don’t break my legs’

But also, why THE FUCK is this the plan? Some ruler you are, you old prune. ‘We have the bird all made and ready to go but oops the idea came from a DIRTY LIAR so we’re going to return to the doomed harvesting racket even though we’ve been set an outrageous amount and we can’t possibly hope to catch up and even if we had been picking the food the entire time it was established earlier on we won’t have time for our supplies on top of all that.’

Fucking.... astonishing lack of logic. YOU MORONS HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE, GO WITH THE BIRD! Flik himself says something to a similar effect lol

But noooooo, his arguably selfish lie [which is more Omitting the truth once he knew it, really] has forever doomed everything, apparently. Honestly it comes across more like they just hate Flik and see anything he invents as doomed to fail, so the second the truth emerges that he spearheaded the Mech Bird they dismiss it as a lost cause. Even though everyone worked together to build it, and Flik’s inventions weren’t the issue but him being awkward and clumsy. But seeing how Flik’s mere presence in his first scene seemed to drive the Council members into a quivering fury, it really does feel like their objections are from them refusing to give him a chance.

And then there’s Princess Atta. Hoo Boy.

In this scene, she comes off as being ridiculously vindictive, petty and hypocritical. This applies to the Council too, but it’s more galling coming from Atta as by now she’s realised that Flik gets a lot of flak [yay wordplay] from the others and she had resolved to give him more credit. BUT OOPS, that didn’t last!

She takes the Lying thing so personally, acting like he was cheating on her or something. “You lied to MeEeEee” well golly gee whiz, was there any particular reason why he would tell you the truth? Other than his rather obvious crush on you, that is? Cause that would still be a weird reason, seeing how the ‘lie’ was after he’d finally got a bit of decent treatment from the others, why would he wanna upset the apple cart?

He probably feared coming out and confessing to Atta [or anyone else] that they’d lose all faith in him and scrap a valid plan that was the only way out of the grasshopper racket mess. Which would be a bit silly and probably the result of someone with low self esteem and confidence issues overthinking the situation but it’s Exactly what actually happens!

It wasn’t a personal slight against you, Princess! To quote Helen Parr: THIS IS NOT! ABOUT! YOU!!

And wooow, you must be awfully chilly up there on your high horse, Miss “Lied to Flik to get rid of him earlier in the film”! Did you ever feel like fessing up? Like ‘hmm I’ve grown much fonder of this doofus, maybe I should be honest with him before engaging with some more light flirting’ ? Maybe if you had, he woulda been honest in return!

I don’t even see why she and the Council bothered lying about their Snipe Hunt ploy, seeing how now they act like he crossed a moral event horizon. Why even bother making a phoney baloney decoy idea to get him away, when they clearly dislike him enough to play the Brutally Honest card without fretting over his feelings. They coulda just ordered him to stay in a corner away from interfering but instead they’re willing to risk his life on a wild goose chase.

...And she then Banishes him! For what?? Lying? About what, the circus bugs or the bird plan? Both?? It really feels like her taking undue personal offence and the Council hating him and the Queen being old and senile.

So yeah, wow, this scene has what I think is the Unintended side effect of making me hate the stupid jerkface Ant colony as every named ant in it except for Dot fucking suck and throw Flik under a bus the second they deem him to be untrustworthy. In spite of, like, that the plan itself was solid and that the Circus Bugs have all been proven to be Good Eggs. They don’t give him a chance to explain and made their own bed to lie in, so I feel dark joy and satisfaction when the grasshoppers do arrive and kick them around some more.

Wow gee, if only you dumb ass ants had some sort of already made contraption to fall back on?

Why is it like this?

I can only make guesses here, be warned!

From what I’ve gathered of an older version of the story, mostly via Wikipedia, I kinda feel like the exposing would have fit that take better. In the beta version of the story, instead of Flik the lead would have been “Red”, who was a red ant and circus bug from the start. The first draft Circus lot woulda been out to scam the ants initially and I guess would have grown genuine fondness with time. The idea of an outsider flim flamming his way into the good books and later being exposed makes the overblown outrage a lot more understandable. But that’s my hypothesis for the direction they ultimately didn’t go in. Also look at how Red looks like a fuckboi here:

But in the final version, Red doesn’t exist! Flik is a part of the colony from the get go, but also apart from it cause no one likes him as, again, his ideas were good but poorly executed and he seemed to be a hindrance. But the ants should at least see that Flik is genuine in his attempts, that he’s trying his best and they should maybe cut him some slack.

The way the ants have their knickers in a twist doesn’t gel so well with the “Well meaning screwup” angle, especially compared to a possible “Opportunistic so-and-so who doesn’t have real attachments to the colony” route.

Also it may be worth noting up there where I put a TV Tropes excerpt, I bolded the relevant half of the run down, but it seems the other half applies much more to this first draft. Interesting...

So I don’t know, but I got the idea that the scene in the movie is basically a holdover from earlier that didn’t get sufficiently updated. The Liar Revealed Scene is the first thing I’d change if I were rewriting the script, and I might go back and change it again after other parts had been redone too, cause the story needs to flow from point A to point B etc. smoothly or else viewers will get annoyed and point it out in Youtube videos or overly long tumblr text posts.

How could it be fixed?

I’m not saying I’m sitting on the perfect idea of a rewrite. But the main thing is what I already touched on, the jarring disconnect between what happens and how the stupid ants respond.

Like, Atta’s sudden grabbing of the Jerkass and Idiot Balls in this scene. Wouldn’t it have been better if she was instead unsure and conflicted? She had lied to Flik earlier and, unlike the Council, was shown to actually realise Flik Has Feelings Too and apologised for the general lack of faith. She didn’t come clean about the Snipe Hunt Lie, so that could be weighing on her during this scene, maybe she would have been the only Council member to Not want to kick him out but felt pressured into it and hasn’t got into the groove of being the Future Queen enough to pull rank and talk them down from being hate filled twats. Maybe someone will mention the flirting that had been happening as muddying her judgement?

That’s my main idea, compare that with her barging in and taking undue personal offence and shooing him off. She’s supposed to feel like she’s doomed to fail too, so her facing a moral dilemma and falling on the wrong side of the fence could tie into that! (To be honest, her arc is kinda undercooked so hey, I’m killing two birds with one stone here!)

Flik being banished at all is a casualty of The Narrative, that he and the Circus Bugs have gotta go away temporarily for the finale to be cooler and more exciting. It’s a Necessary Weasel of writing and you’ll find them in every story ever made. Sometimes things have gotta happen cause Story Structure. The trick is having them more organic and concealed.

So yeah, have the Old Fogeys be in the wrong [which is so far unchanged] but also the majority of the ‘voting’. Make it difficult for Atta to choose between loyalty to the colony as a whole and her sense of duty versus trusting in Flik, who she now knows to always have his heart in the right place. She comes close to standing up for him and herself, but ultimately falters and gets pressured into the call made in the movie. She’s still ultimately responsible as leaders are, but in a much more sympathetic way.

Summation

This got way longer than I had initially imagined, and that’s even after I cut stuff in the editing process! Let’s quickly review the three main points I’m trying to make.

The Issue with the scene - A big song and dance is made over The Lie, but no reason why it’s such a terrible thing is offered. A perfectly sound plan is dismissed nonsensically.

Suspected reasoning for the writing - The tone matches a potential alternate story much better, where someone would have lied for self serving purposes instead of for the greater good.

A suggestion for a rewrite - Make it much more nuanced and fitting the character arcs. Give the characters a reason to react the way they do and have different responses per person. If the ants are going to drop the Bird plan, at least offer a more viable alternate route than going back to what wasn’t working before.

Does it really matter?

Well, I don’t expect a 22 year old film to suddenly get a rewrite, no. And I maintain that it’s a real gem which deserves much higher praise with the other Good Pixars instead of being so constantly overlooked.

Part of what spurred me to think about the scene and what I’d alter is seeing it referred to as ‘Kinda Bad’ in a youtube video that was talking about another Liar Reveal scene in another movie, and that is a bad take, but the point about how clunky this part is isn’t wrong. I don’t want people to dismiss the whole, beautiful image cause one section of it doesn’t vibe!

It doesn’t ruin the picture, but when people have something negative to say it’s this which is the magnet. And I’m kinda guilty of doing the same thing here, haha. But I wanted to really dissect and examine it, to figure out why it’s like that and to guess how simple it may be to rework. It’s bittersweet, but there ain’t such a thing as a perfect movie.

This has been fun for me to go into though, and it’s nice to get thoughts out from just swirling around inside my head, so even if barely anyone sees and makes it through this whole dissertation, I’m glad I wrote it out. It’s a funny way to derive enjoyment from the bumpy part of a beloved movie, but hey, I’ll take it~

#A Bug's Life #Liar Revealed Trope #Pixar #Disney Pixar #Disney #CutCat writes a very long essay

[stonebreakerseries]

Day3: Youth + “You did this?”

Day 3 of @oc-growth-and-development​​’s OC-tober challenge and the @fictober-event​!

Series: Stonebreaker (Original Fiction) Characters: Tellene & Re’an

If the knock at her door had been any more timid, Tellene might have mistaken it for a trick of the wind. Well, it’s about time. Huffing, she reached down, sliding the key around her wrist into a small hole in her desk. With a twist, the door at the far side of the room clicked open. “Come in,” she said, taking a brief moment to check the state of her robes, making sure the red lapel lay flat and creaseless. Appearances were important business in Tel Shival. Almost as important as one’s skill, although the two seemed closer in competition now than they used to be. It was difficult to stand out in a place so overflowing with talent. Both the Allied Kingdoms and Khathi Empire only ever sent their best, and even then, most were turned away.

Luckily, Tellene, First of the Weavers, never had a problem making a name for herself.

It had been quite some time since she last dealt with an accolt. Being the youngest and least capable among their ranks, Tellene never had the patience to hold their hands as they trembled their way through basic glyphstrings. In fact, it was a testament to her dislike of instructing that she only spent a year as a Leirah before seeking - and gaining - a place among the Maesars. Now, Tellene folded her hands in front of her and fixed her narrowed gaze on the door as it tentatively inched open.

Oh Divider’s Own...

“Quickly, accolt. My time is precious. I will not have it wasted.” 

That seemed to do the trick. By the drawing of her next breath, a nervous youth stood in her study, the door swinging shut behind him, his hands worrying the white sash around his waist. Like many from the western-most regions of the Empire, Re’an was slight in stature, his grey-brown skin reminding Tellene of the ashewoods that bordered her childhood home. While his entry record placed him at nineteen, he looked at least three years younger, with wide brown eyes and an almost frenetic disposition. Although, she conceded that could be circumstantial, given her reputation. Not to worry. The rigours of study and the intellectual warren of academia would age him soon enough.

However, and most interestingly, this young man had already found a way to stand out from the herd.

“M-Maeser Tellene,” Re’an stammered. Then, like a panicked afterthought, he raised two fingers to his throat and bowed his head reverently. Or it would have been reverent, if he didn’t appear moments away from fainting. “I, um… y-you sent for me?”

Tellene arched a brow. Rather than state the obvious, she simply cleared her throat and raised a small bundle of papers, bound together by a red string. Holding them aloft for Re’an to see, it was hard not to feel a little sympathy as the colour drained from his skin. “You did this?” she asked. 

Funny, how simple questions rarely received simple answers.

“No,” he replied immediately, almost instinctively, then hesitated. “I mean, I-I’m not… I’m not sure if… I don’t---”

---“Let me make this easier,” Tellene interjected. She flipped the papers over and inspected the cover page. “Is your name Re’an?”

He cringed, but nodded, some of the nervous energy bleeding out as he resigned himself to his fate. “Yes, Maesar.”

“And you are a third year accolt?”

“Yes, Maesar.”

“And you recently sat an exam for Leirah Sonoval’s class on...” She glanced at the paper again, barely concealing a frown. “Thaumic Rhetoric: A History of Dissent?”

What in the Divider’s name were they teaching these days?

With her opinions carefully hidden behind painfully endured etiquette training, Tellene simply returned her attention to Re’an. Again, he nodded, apparently having lost the ability to use his voice. Sighing, Tellene was about to press on, but an errant thought stopped her in her tracks. This could be an interesting moment to gauge his mettle. In fact, with what she intended, she would be remiss not to seize such an organic opportunity.

“I imagine,” she continued slowly, setting the papers down and turning to the first page, “you have some theories as to why you are here?”

To her surprise, Re’an didn’t hesitate, equivocate, or attempt any other twist of rhetoric he had so clearly studied. 

“I cheated.”

Good. So, he was reasonably honest, despite evidence to the contrary. That or he was clever enough to know that lying would serve him poorly. Either way, Tellene approved. If nothing else, it showed he could assess a situation quickly and with some accuracy, even while shaking hard enough she swore she could hear his bones clicking together. 

Folding her hands on her desk, Tellene flicked her gaze to the wooden chair at the side of the room, nestled between stacks of books. Hesitantly, Re’an followed her silent instruction, picking it up and carrying it over. Once he set it down, he stood awkwardly by its side, unsure of how to proceed. I love that my reputation still precedes me, Tellene thought, before making an acquiescing motion.

“Sit, and tell me exactly how you cheated.”

Even though Re’an perched on its edge, chair seemed to swallow him, his arms drawn close, heel bouncing agitatedly against the carpeted floor. But then, much to her surprise, his brown eyes flicked up, meeting her gaze. Holding it. 

Interesting. 

“You don’t already know?”

A faint smile threatened the corner of Tellene’s lips. She fended it off. “It is clear to anyone with a set of eyes that you copied entire sentences - sometimes paragraphs - from a variety of seminal texts.” She leaned forward, chair creaking slightly beneath her. “I asked how you did it, in an exam hall, under the watchful eye of three supervising Leirah. And do not lie to me. This is important.”

Re’an shifted, wiping his palms on his robes. It was though his skin was too tight and he wanted nothing more than to be rid of it. “I, ah…” The words stuck like glue to the back of his throat. “I... have a bane, Maesar.”

Tellene regarded him flatly. “A bane.” With a suffering sigh, she reached up, massaging her forehead with her fingertips. Unfortunately, it took time to overcome a youth spent surrounded by misinformed superstition; nonsense like banes and knacks and the old gods. It was yet another process she lacked patience for. “Oh, very well. What kind of bane, then?”

Clearly sensing her irritation - mostly because she never bothered to conceal it - Re’an refused to meet her gaze, chin down, fists pressed to the tops of his thighs. “I-I remember things well. Too well. Mostly things I read, like words, pictures, symbols...” He pulled in a breath, then mustered the courage to look up again. “Maeser Tellene, I read every text Leirah Sonoval set, then a few more outside the curriculum. The Maeser Librarian recommended some papers as well, and I read those too. Exams, they… they make me nervous. It gets hard to think, so I always over-prepare.”

“Many accolts feel the same way, and compensate similarly.” She tapped his paper with her nail, the sound sharp, ringing through the room. “That does not explain what you did here.”

Re’an hesitated. “I know what I need to say, most of the time. But when I start changing the words it just…” He wrinkled his nose, and Tellene saw an old frustration in the expression. This was not a recent struggle for him. “It just doesn’t sound right anymore. It’s like the way it was written the first time was how it was meant to go, and when I change it, something always gets lost. This time, when I saw the question, I panicked. So I just took the parts of what I read that seemed relevant and wrote them down. I didn’t even think about---”

Tellene held up a finger, silencing Re’an mid-sentence. “I did not ask for excuses. You are not here to beg forgiveness.”

The comment seemed to surprise him. “I’m not?” A genuine look of confusion swept across his face, followed closely by an even more surprising emotion. One that straightened his spine and brightened his eyes with something alarmingly familiar. “Then... why am I here?”

Curiosity.

Tellene leaned back in her chair, folding her hands over her stomach. “I have met many thaumists with incredible memories. In truth, as a Maesar Weaver, I consider myself among them. But even in the best of circumstances, none of us can transcribe entire passages of relevant information - from multiple resources - with perfect accuracy. Not the way you have. It is highly unusual.”

Some of the young man’s self-consciousness returned. “Yeah, I know.” He caught himself, stiffening. “Ah, I mean: yes, Maesar Tellene.”

She waved a dismissive hand. “How long have you been in Tel Shival, Re’an?”

“Three years.”

“Do you lack ambition?”

He blinked, startled. “No? Maesar, I---”

---“Then why have you hidden this skill for so long?”

Still rattled by her previous question, he answered this one with far less hesitation, hands shaking. “Because I didn’t want people treating me like I’m---”

Tellene raised her brows as Re’an bit off his sentence, his jaw physically clenching from the strain of it. “Like an anomaly?” she offered. Re’an huffed, a rueful smile tinging his lips that made him appear much closer to his age. Maybe even a little older.

“That is a... nicer way of putting it than I’m used to, Maesar.”

Ah. There it is. He had been hurt before. Treated like an oddity at best, an aberration at worst. She would have to tread more carefully than she thought. “Re’an,” she said, and her tone pulled him out of his mind and back into the room. “You are aware that what you are capable of is in no way a ‘bane’, are you not?” 

“I…” He looked down. “Yes, Maesar.”

Not so honest, then.

As much as Tellene lacked patience for most accolts, this one tugged at her. It spurred something almost protective; an instinct she thought she had fed to the sharks years ago. Perhaps being faced by a unique mind, still young enough to doubt its own capacity, had struck a chord she thought severed. Or perhaps she had simply uncovered some long-buried empathy.

Either way, she had made her decision.

“Cheating on a final exam is grounds for severe censure, depending on the Leirah. You are aware of this?”

Re’an squeezed his eyes shut. “Yes, Maesar.”

“And you are aware, being in your third year, that any censures on your record will severely jeopardise your opportunities when selecting a discipline?”

He sounded almost feverish. Defeated. “Yes, Maesar.” He swallowed tightly. “I… I want to apologise. I made a mistake. I will accept whatever punishment Leirah Sonoval sees fit.”

“Leirah Sonoval would have you expelled.”

Wide brown eyes fixed on her, horrified. ”He---what?” Re’an bolted to his feet, breaths coming in short bursts. It was as though he was unsure of whether to stay, run, or faint. “Maesar, please, I won’t do it again - I swear I won’t. It was one time - the only one in the three years I’ve been here. I can retake the exam, a harder one even, I don’t care. I’ll do anything, but please, please…”

Part of Tellene thought this moment would be somehow satisfying. It was an important moment - one she could not avoid if she was to make sure she got what she needed. But instead, as she watched Re’an blink back tears, frantic and terrified, all she felt was pity. Maybe even guilt.

Divider, what was happening to her lately? She was losing her touch. It was a good thing she rarely left her studies, or maintaining her reputation would be significantly more difficult.

“What discipline did you plan to join, Re’an?”

The change of subject - possibly even her change in tone - managed to shake him from his panic. Somewhat. “I… I couldn’t decide between the Augists and the Weavers.”

For the first time, Tellene allowed a smile to tinge her lips. “Well... perhaps I can help you reach a decision.”

This time, when he looked at her, there was no more fear. No more self-consciousness. No more dread. There was simply hope, pure and reckless. 

“Y-You would let me join the Weavers?” Re’an swiped his eyes hurriedly with his sleeve, clearly embarrassed. “But Leirah Sonoval---”

---“Has no power over a Maesar’s charge.” She met his gaze. “I will allow him to assign you some texts on academic ethics to appease his wounded pride, but should you accept, that will be the end of the matter.” She paused, then added, “Provided you do not do it again.” Unless instructed.

She gave him a moment to let her offer sink in. It was an extremely rare thing for an accolt to be taken on as a charge, yet alone by a Maesar. In her twelve years as First of the Weavers, Tellene had never even considered taking a charge. Even from among the Leirah, who had petitioned her incessantly for a good ten of them. It was too much work for too little return. Too much like mentoring, which she had gone to great lengths to avoid.

Yet... here she was.

“You won’t regret this,” Re’an said suddenly, as though reading her mind. He seemed to have collected himself, and while he still trembled, there was something else about him now. Something charged and determined, if not to prove himself, then to prove others wrong. That was good - he would have to do a lot of that. No one takes kindly to someone pulling ahead of the pack. Divider, he reminded her of another man she knew. All he needed was red hair and about ten times the stubbornness. “Maesar Tellene,” Re’an continued, “I don’t know how to thank you.”

At that, Tellene snorted, arching a brow. “If you think you will be thanking me for this, you clearly have not been paying attention. I suspect your dormmates have already reallocated your bed and said their farewells to their fallen friend.” When Re’an actually smiled, Tellene struggled against the urge to immediately scare it away. No, that would not do - not if he was to be her charge for the foreseeable future. She could not bear timidity for any length of time. “You will meet me here every morning, directly after first meal. I am beginning your lessons in advanced glyphwork early.”

Re’an nodded frantically, swept along by the moment and all of its promise. 

Then he stopped.

“Um... Maesar?”

“Yes?”

“I have Leirah Pelona’s class after first meal tomorrow.”

“I see.” Tellene leaned back, chair creaking beneath her weight. “Have you read the works of Djenovir?

“Yes, Maesar.”

“And you can recite them?”

“Yes.”

“Then you have already completed the class.” With that, she turned the key in her desk, and the door on the far side of the room clicked open. “Don’t be late.”

#oc-tober #oc tober #fictober20 #tellene #re'an #telshival #prompt #neither of these two are major characters #(at least not for the first book) #but they show up now and again - usually Tellene in Delver's flashbacks - so I felt like writing a little about her #and her charge #who she needs for a very specific project that just so happens to perfectly align with his skills #StonebreakerSeries #tellene writing #rean writing

[assassinwolf189]

30 and B for the character asks!

Hey there! I’m always happy to see you in my ask box, I hope you’ve been well and that everything is good where you are. :) (Sorry this took so long for me to answer, it’s been a wee bit chaotic. :))

I hope this is the right ask meme. 

Uncommon Questions for OCs and their Creators  #30: Who do they most regret meeting?  (I have so many OC children so I will be answering this for my top 4) Shailen: She regrets meeting David; her ex boyfriend from the beginning of the book, who is continuously abusive and condescending towards her,  Sam and the American crew, who after she met them has brought nothing but pain to her and her family such as causing the death of her sister.  However I think the person that she regrets meeting most is probably her childhood best friend that she remet in high school, who has been nothing but emotionally abusive and a weight on her shoulders. 

K9: Not a person would regret meeting anyone but the closest to regret would probably be historical figure Laffayette whom she had a temporary romantic relationship that ended in ruin, and the birth of the french werewolf Tale of Labet becoming a twisted reality; and then her ex allies Portman, Andrew, Chris and Monti; all of which were close friends however the path they chose led them in different directions and a schism within their friendships, never to be trusted or healed again.  Micheal: He would probably regret meeting Grace, a highschool student that asked him out to her prom, (and the first person he ever dated before coming out of the closet as Gay) he regrets meeting her because of the way she used him for the comforts he could provide, his influence and kindness, she then proceeded to cheat on him when he said no to providing her with more than he was comfortable with at the time. 

George: George has probably got the longest list of people he regrets meeting, but the one on top of his list would probably be his Biological father that he meets at a point of which he is proud of who he is, but after their meeting feels that his mother lied to him about who his father was and wishes to return to the days in which he thought that his father was an idol and a hero, and not the monster that he truly is.

Questions for the creators  B) What inspired you to create them?  (This is a lovely question, thank you.) (This will include some of my other characters not mentioned above aswell, all from my main project, and not my fanfictions.) 

Shailen was inspired by Scott and Stiles from Teenwolf , Alice and Thom from the Spook chronicles, Nikki from Dork Diaries, Clawdeen and Venus from monster high, Kate Becket from Castle and eventually Wonderwoman (What a mix am I right?)(Most of these were and still are nostalgic favourites of mine that I carry along with me from my childhood.)  She was meant to be a representative and hug to all those in need, a beacon of light that I used a lot as a coping mechanism as a kid, and as a way of deciding what the best action would be in that situation; a bit of a self insert, but based on the person I could be and not the one that I am.  It takes all sorts to be a hero right?  She’s was also used as a crutch when I needed someone lighter in my life, and a reflection of whatever happens you can still be you, in trauma you can still be kind and in darkness there is light and so on. She is also a hug and representative of what its like to lose apart of yourself and grow accustom to it, and my way of learning that its ok to let go, and grow further. 

K9; inspired by the lady from Underworld, Derek from Teenwolf; Disturbed, Rammestein, Breaking Benjamin other degrees of rock ,my sheer need as a child to feel badass, and on my thoughts as a kid, of but what if I don’t want to wear pink or be a princess, what if I want to be a werewolf on a motorcyle with my scars and long black hair flapping in the wind? (Yeah Also my sheer love for werewolves)  However she’s evolved to be so much more, more a soldier, a person who has been wounded for so long that they no longer feel any pain.  She also became a crutch to me, and a way to get anger off of my shoulders; a way to express my sheer love for writing tragic hero’s; she isn’t misunderstood or brooding she’s just damaged and doesn’t fit into any boxes, she just wants to sleep and be left alone.  She’s probably the person I fall to the most when I’m dealing with negative emotions, and I’ve given her so much of my baggage. But she just continues, and moves regardless of circumstance, she remains her and does the best that she can; she over comes her struggles her own ways and learns healthier coping mechanisms. (She’s the one that I constantly used as a coping mechanism during my times of really bad depression; and I used her a lot before I managed to come clean and start attending therapy, that gave me the notion that if she can survive the shit I put her through and come out on top, I can survive too.) There is more to here than just this but to boil it down, she’s my comfort character, as are many of the rest of the people on this list. I also used her often as a way to cope when I received hate as a kid for being different, and yeah shes just a crutch; my buff queen that just carries me away to safety

Micheal; was inspired by my continuous love for video games, and intelligent and handsome and everything I was told a man should be (Obviously men like everyone else can and should be who ever they want to be but yeah.)  The scientist of the bunch, and a more charismatic version of both Sheldon from the big Bang theory (Who Quite frankly I severely dislike now) and Velma from Scooby doo. Smart, Handsome and a gymnast. He’s also inspired by the dark academia aesthetic; and my dark twisted love of necromancy and dark magic, the showing that he might not be physically intimidating but his mind is as much of weapon as his sister is. (He’s basically the Guy exe song by Superfruit is based on, and the caricature of he’s so dark and handsome *Swoon*)

Over all they are all my comfort characters and are supposed to be traditional tropes turn upside down on their head; which I find quite enjoyable and amusing; I hope that one day when I do publish that people find as much comfort in these characters I have.  Thanks for the asks, these have been wonderful, and I hope you have a fabulous day! :)

#Thanks for the ask #Writers ask #this was so thoughtful #and absolute nonsense #My OCs are like my kids so I wanted to share them with y'all cause I'm so proud of them #Have a fantastic day #tw mention of depression #tw mention of anxiety #tw trauma

[thatbrontide]

1:  Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer? Couch. I am bony. 

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why: Both bc he came too fast, which he said was by accident, and maybe it was, but  it felt fucked up. Good bc I deeply needed intimacy and it was otherwise decent. He kisses well. Also I blocked him about a week afterward bc I realized he’s an asshole. 

3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed: Kristen Wiig in Hateship Loveship. 

4: Something that never fails to make you horny: A hot guy being nice af. 

5: Where is one place you would never have sex: I’m pretty adventurous, so idk. I’d prefer to not fuck in a family member’s bed, but you could pay me to do it. 

6:  The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when: I don’t really feel awkward during sex. Maybe a burning dildo. It had deteriorated an I didn’t know they did that. Sorry about that burning asshole I caused. 

7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny: sock garters?

8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone:  shibari/kinbaku

9: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other: rope

10: What is the fastest way to make you horny: OTK spanking

11: Top or bottom? both

12: Fill in the blanks: We were about to cum but then people showed up to church 

13: Would you ever take a sexual enhancement drug? Poppers or X, I guess? Nope. I prefer sober sex. 

14: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary? Depends. 

15: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find: books about codependence

16: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you: Nothing weird. 

17: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex: I like having a big dick in my mouth and that I’m good at it. I used to adore being face-fucked. I have sucked a dick of someone who could not stay hard, which is the worst possible thing. Don’t act like it makes sense for someone to suck your dick if you don’t maintain an erection. Fuck you. 

18: Weirdest sexual act some has performed  on/with you: This fucking guy and I were hanging out naked after sex and he came over to me and basically started humping me like a dog. It was awful. Other than that, probably knife play, which was extremely fun. (not blood play)

19: Have you ever tasted yourself? I can’t believe anyone doesn’t. 

20: Is it ever okay to not use a condom: Of course, if he’s good at pulling out on time and it’s monogamous and we’ve both been tested. 

21: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had? Sexiest was probably this history teacher in high school, but he turned out to be racist. Most attractive was an acting instructor I had. I had a problem being around him, it was rough. 

22: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience: Noooope. 

23: How big is too big (peniswise): I have yet to encounter one that was too big. 

24: One sexual thing you would never do: A race fantasy. Like if a guy who’s black wanted me to call him the N word or do racial master-slave shit. 

25: Biggest turn on: communication, but not too sincere and not too buzzwordy. Ugh. 

26: Three spots that drive you insane: On me? nipples, kiss on forehead, being held at the upper rear thigh, or where the crotch meets the thigh when I’m being eaten out

27: Worst possible time to get horny: during a pandemic, when depressed, at work

28: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans: absolutely. 

29: Worst sexual idea you ever had: Being too open with my kinkiness with someone much less experienced. I should have taken it slowly. 

30: How much fapping is too much fapping: maybe 5 times a day is too much. I don’t know if I could do more than twice a day. 

31: Best sexual compliment you ever got: He cried it was so good. I’ve been told that I’m the best head they’ve gotten, best kisser they’ve kissed, best sex they’ve had... 

32: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji: depends on my mood and whom I’m dating

33: Is it good sex if you don’t nut: Not usually. It can be sweet or intimate, but that’s just good intimacy, not good sex. Like if someone started crying and we stopped, for example. The sex is no longer important. 

34: Fill in the blanks: “If they come first, we are over.” lol

35: What your favorite part of your body: I have nice boobs, but idk. 

36: Favorite foreplay activities: um... making out? being eaten out? 

37: Love (>,<, or =) Sex I reject the premise. 

38: What do you wear to bed? leggings and a t-whirt and socks. Sometimes just boy shorts

39: When was the first time you masturbated: 13 or 14, but I didn’t know how to do it, so I didn’t cum until my bf ate me out when I was 17. He taught me how to masturbate, basically, and I needed to think about him to do so successfully. 

40: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself? Eh. 

41: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside? It was probably 2009. The guy was a permaculturist 7 years older than I was and had somehow never fucked outside. He was so excited. I miss outdoor sex. I liked fucking him. 

43: Have/would you ever had a threesome? I did once. Hated it. Would realy love to never do it again. 

44: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? A jumbo carrot. 

45: Have/would you ever masturbate at work? No. I don’t think that’s okay, and would judge anyone who did it, unless they had PGAD or something. 

46: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane? No. I don’t get the mass appeal. I would, but who cares. 

47: What is one song you’d like to have sex to? FLOTUS

48: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny? I’m not sure. Someone I like being genuinely nice to ppl is one. 

49: Most attractive celebrity? Bill Hader? That drag photo shoot of him kills me. 

50: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not? Not usually. I used to, but mostly for educational purposes. 

51: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now? About two months old. It’s rough out here. 

52: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online? I hope not. 

53: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny? “Cum for me,” and I’m sure myriad others things guys think are hot to say. 

54: Do you have stretch marks? just a few on my butt

55: How do you feel about your stretch marks? don’t care. 

56: Has anyone ever had a problem with your stretch marks? That would be ludicrous. They could leave. 

57: Do you like giving head? (why/why not) I fucking love i if I love the person or in the rare situation that they have a big dick and we have great chemistry. 

58: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in? They are fine. It depends on the tattoos. Some ppl have awful tattoos that I’d have to actively ignore the whole time. 

59: How would you feel about taking someone’s virginity? I’m not sure. I’m mostly attracted to ppl like 10 years older than I am, so I’d be okay doing it w someone who’s fully not even a young adult. The circumstances under which I’d want to would be unlikely, though. 

60: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter? Any and all food. No thank you. 

62: Do you own any sex toys? Which ones? nipple clamps, vibrator, dildo, flogger. 

64: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery? Yes.

65: Would you rather be a pornstar or discreet sex worker? Depends on what kind of sex worker. idk. 

66: Do you watch porn? Every once in a while, and only when I’m too unimaginative

67: How small is too small? Haven’t had it happen, so idk. 

68: Have you ever been called a freak? Why? Sure. I’m kinkier than most ppl. 

69: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything? The last guy I fucked, who I blocked on my phone. It meant that we were both horny/lonely during a pandemic

71: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”? Not at all. I don’t know how vagina-owners don’t mind a vaginal fluid straight onto their pants. 

72: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair? Nope

73: If you could give yourself head, would you? It kind of saddens me to think about that. I’d probably try once, and maybe until I felt like I’d be good at doind it to someone else. 

74: Booty or Boobs? I’m not gay enough for this question. Probably boobs. 

75: If you had a penis, what would you name it? I hate when ppl name body parts and cars. It’s dumb. 

76: Have you ever been on an official date? Of course. 

77: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?) Kind of. I made out with a member of my favorite band when I was 19 bc I thought I couldn’t miss the opportunity. He invited me on his tour bus but I couldn’t “fully” cheat. 

78: If you were a stripper, what would your name be? It’s a secret

79: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?) I haven’t. You could pay me to, but I don’t rly want to. Part of me also kind of doesn’t care. Like in sitcoms when ppl are like “Ew! You had sex on the chair I’m sitting in?” Who cares, it’s not like you’re sitting in a puddle of jiz. 

80: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed? I would be v surprised bc they hate each other and prob haven’t had sex in at least 30 years. 

81: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina? I remember seeing my brothers, and thinking it was funny. I just remember being in a locker room when I was maybe 8 and seeing women’s crotches and noticing they were all different. I don’t think I looked at my own until I was like 14, so I wasn’t worried about it. 

[crystalelemental]

Before I shift into my game playing for the day, I have been going through Thracia.  Thoughts under the cut.

Full disclosure: I am cheating at this point.  I have the codes on and do not give a fuck.  I hit Chapter 4 and was pretty much done the instant I opened the north gate.  For anyone who likes a bit of karma, though, it turns out the cheat codes I’m using also affect the enemies.  If I turn on “100% re-move,” then enemies also get to go again.  If I turn on max movement range, the enemies get that too.  Though that one was funny, because it gave it to the children in 4X, who then booked it in one turn.  If I add stat modifying codes, the enemies are all that strong too.  I did find a workaround by applying them only at the end of chapters when the enemies are all dead, but guess what.  Sometimes the codes stop working and your stats return.  Which led to Leif having the stats he had back in Chapter 4, and getting immediately hit by a Sleep staff from all the way across the map.  I did not find out until after beating it that Sleep, and all status conditions, do not wear off at all.  So the map was impossible to complete.  Because Leif was fucking asleep, and no power in earth or heaven would wake this sleepy bitch.

I think this is the best indicator of why I’m not enjoying Thracia.  Even while cheating just to blitz the game, it’s still a pain in the ass.  There’s still all manner of nonsense that can just throw off your entire progression.  And what’s worse?  If it weren’t for the fact the game is just too finicky and obnoxious to want to play fairly, it would have nothing holding it back from being one of the best in the series.

Story?  Excellent.  I love this.  I think it stems from my general love of side stories.  Blazing Blade is still my favorite after all.  Leif’s progression just within Thracia is great to follow, and it’s really engaging to see him work through this rebellion.  It’s also great to have the game focused on other antagonists.  The major ones, like Travant and Ishtar, have made brief (and great) appearances, but there are new antagonists to focus on because again, you’re not the main story.  I love that shit.

Characters?  Fantastic.  Like, granted, it suffers in the same way as every game that pre-dates support conversations, in that a lot of the cast is pretty one-note and then doesn’t do anything.  But there are more prominent faces in general, and they’re all really good.  Leif is a great protagonist.  He’s got the right amount of fire in him, and I’m actually stunned he’s not more popular.  I know it’s because Thracia isn’t popular, but I feel like he’s the same general personality type as Hector, who people love.  Driven, intense, ready to throw down at a moment’s notice, and honest to a fault.  Also it’s really, really funny to me how your advisor (who I don’t trust for shit) tells you about the child hunts, and Leif is like “Shut the fuck up, that’s not real.”  Olwen does it too, which is also funny.  She’s fighting on this side, sees the children in cages, and is like “I just thought this was some kind of liberal propaganda.”  Although man, I really love Olwen.  She’s great.  Trying to stab Kempf is absolutely the correct move, and her decision to defect as soon as she learns the truth is the correct course.  I can’t wait to hate Reinhardt because he won’t defect despite knowing the truth.

Eyvel is the best.  I adore her, what an absolutely fantastic early-game pre-promote unit.  Granted, she’s basically gone forever now that she’s turned to stone, but she’s so good while she’s conscious.  Mareeeta’s just as good.  Everything surrounding her and the Shadow Sword is super compelling, and her conversation with the Bishop was incredibly powerful.  Dagdar is really interesting, not just in what’s good about him, but also in his faults.  He’s trying to live an honest life, like Eyvel showed him to, but at the same time he’s so caught up in this lifestyle that people are dying under his care because there’s no food.  I love how that whole arc was another instance of where the hardship stems from and the why of a situation, blurring those lines between who’s good and who’s evil until it all seems like a matter of circumstance.  That’s my favorite.  Even the minor freeblades have some great dynamics, and while they don’t get much past that point, your recruits in Chapter 4 all get really funny dialogue that makes them feel a lot more fleshed out.  This is probably the best job you can do with character development in a game that pre-dates support conversations.

If there are any characters I don’t like...Lithis?  I don’t care for him.  He’s stuck around, so he’s not a complete flake, but he doesn’t seem to really stand for anything, he just goes along with you to not die, and his only motivation seems to be attempting to get into Safiya’s pants.  Not happening, my friend.  Not while I’m playing.  Also not a big fan of Dalsin, who only joins when you save his sibling who was taken for the child hunts.  Entirely because he works for the enemy, and when you recruit him, he says that he joined because they said his family would be spared.  So you’re willing to toss everyone else’s families into complete disarray and sorrow, as long as you’re unscathed.  Okay, Dorcas.  I also don’t know how to feel about Pan.  He seems alright?  Like, he’s one of the honorable thief types, and his talk with Lara does suggest he’s decent, considering “I used to love watching you dance until I realized you were still a kid” implies that, once he found out she’s underage, he stuck it back in his pants and was like “hell nah.”  I just can’t get a good read on whether he’s actually good or mostly a shitheel trying to pretend he’s doing good, so like...to be determined.  Also, hate to say it, but Nanna isn’t that interesting.  I don’t dislike her, but I’m also not as invested in her as I want to be.  So far, she’s been kidnapped, protected by Eyvel, saved by Leif, and has kinda been silent since.  Maybe more modern games have spoiled me, but I expected the protagonist’s love interest to have more to say and do.  But I guess we are still in the Kaga era, so...

The maps themselves do remind me a lot of the GBA era, and retroactively, I can really see Thracia’s influence on them.  I got up to Chapter 14, and the map layout is identical to the one on the Sacae route in Binding Blade.  If I have any serious complaints, aside from general enemy difficulty and my dislike of the capture mechanic, it’s that enemy formations are a bit too genealogy.  “What does that mean? “ Everything is a goddamn block of the same enemy type.  Like here’s your block of 10 armor knights.  Here’s your block of a bunch of cavalry units.  Maybe it’s bias, because a block formation like this is probably more accurate to general warfare tactics, but I like when things are spaced out instead of placing things in a massive blob.  Oh, also the Escape mechanic is hilariously dumb.  They spell it out, thankfully, because if they hadn’t I would’ve killed myself.  Apparently, if Leif escapes before any of his allies, those allies are lost forever.  For some reason.  Now, if they hadn’t explained that?  My solution would’ve been to open the door and fucking book it with Leif to end the chapter.  And I would have lost everyone.  That’s such an annoying mechanic, especially since it still happens even if there are no enemies left on the map.

I’m also not the biggest fan of some recruitment procedures.  “Capture this boss to recruit them when you go to Chapter 12x!”  Okay.  My best unit is dealing 3 damage with the capture command.  Also his tome can poison, and if it does, there’s no way to remove that status during the chapter.  He’s on a fort that gives +10 defense and heals most of that damage.  I’m supposed to do this how?  Like I actually can’t figure out how some of these conditions are supposed to be met without cheating.  I really, truly cannot.  It’s overall very similar to the GBA era, but just a lot more ridiculous and obtuse.  I’m sorry, like...who would have thought to capture a boss and hold them until the end of the chapter?  And you’re expected to do that twice!  I just...I dunno, man.  Sometimes Thracia feels super obtuse.

Overall it’s...really not fun to play, but is fun to experience.  This really feels like a game that I would adore if it were given a remake that make it less stressful to play.  Instead, it’s another to add to the pile of “Fantastic concept and I love it in general, but can’t stand playing it without cheating.”

#fire emblem thracia 776 #no I do not have the pride or willpower to play fairly

[yjfanvids]

My thoughts on Early Warning

Or: why I didn't like the ep. At all.

By now it should be no mystery to anyone that I didn't like the ep. And I'd think the reasons are obvious.

But nonetheless let me break this down and hopefully further explain why I didn't enjoy the ep.

Under a read more because of reasons. Including the length.

Chronicles of a Death Foretold

As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, I summed up the episode with those words.

Because this episode effectively foreshadows Violet's death both figuratively [as a character] and literally [as a person].

Of course, I doubt they will actually kill Violet. Not because I don't think Grandon doesn't have the galls for it (see Wally's death, Jason, the multitudes of times they have already killed Violet). But because Jace isn't a reliable narrator. It could very well be that Violet has some key component in them or something and her ‘mentor’ is actually trying to find a way to extract it or something. That wouldn't bother me as much.

It's the implications and impact that these words have.

Because this seems to have turned Violet into a reckless "well I'm about to die so why not."

I'll get to The Scene, as I have dubbed it, later.

Cuba

So, let me start by saying that I felt that Klarion was terribly done. He seemed like a shadow of his former self.

The only reason that I can try to explain this inconsistency is that he has been in the mortal plane for too long, and it's dumbing him down.

Either that or Zatara as Nabu has put the fear of Fate in him. And made him into the exposition presenter.

Nonetheless, that hasn't stopped him from demonstrating how much the show has changed and how they aren't at all bogged down by any ratings restrictions with the appearance of the Flesh Monster. Not to mention the whole branding of a person on screen like that.

The Flesh Monster is a nightmare fuel. It has no purpose. It clearly only served as a plot point, because those kids have a greater purpose for the Light as we saw in Influence when the League discovered those kids, and being a cheap gimmick to 'entertain' Klarion seems like a dumb thing for him to do.

But all's well that ends well and all that jazz. They were turned back to themselves and are now headed to Taos.

But we still have to consider the fact that most of the people that have been in truly dire and gory situations have been POC. Which speaks to a larger issue about how this show is not handling diversity well.

Now, The Scene

Up until now, I could leave my misgivings and distaste of the ep to the side.

I mean, the plot was bleh, but I could find a way to explain it as something other than bad writing, or Grandon getting their index cards mixed up and no one had the heart to tell them they were shuffled.

But The Scene with Harper Squared [that's what I've dubbed their ship name], was just badly handled.

First of all we have Violet who has been disturbed by the news that they are dying. So they are in a sensitive spot. They decide to skip training in order to socialize and live their life to the fullest. Sure, I can buy into that.

Then we have Harper who decided to be the epitome of a Bad Teen complete with booze and a weapon.

I'm surprised they didn't shove drugs in there.

But let's stick with the booze and gun.

Harper is drinking merrily and offers the bottle to Violet.

Now, I don't know about you, but if they had advertised a Muslim character for months, and had them wear a hijab because it "feels right", to have them say "I'm not a Muslim" feels like a slap to the face.

I mean, it would have made a lot more sense if they had drank in order to deal with the trauma of their impeding death, while also acknowledging that they are Muslim and feels bad about denying their faith.

And then, the kiss.

I would've been happy with the kiss if it was under different circumstances. I can understand awkward teenagers no knowing how romance works and skirting around it. With like a cheek kiss for example.

But the kiss, combined with the awkward boyfriends line is just bad rep.

Why would Harper, who is in a relationship and doesn't seem to be having any pressing issues, feel the need to cheat and kiss Violet?

Not only does it build into that nasty stereotype that bi people are cheaters, but it also feels like a bad way to do it. In the middle of an afternoon of illicit activities.

Not to mention that, with the wide roster of characters they have, to shove the entirety of the LGBTQ acronym into one person just seems like a really cheap way to do representation.

Plus, this is opening the door for, if what Jace said truly does come to pass, for a typical Bury Your Gays scenario.

And then the stand-off.

First, I am curious about Violet's aim. I wonder if that is due to their powers and training, or something else.

Second, that part just hurt. You have a white cop in a not so busy city going in to a situation with her weapon drawn.

It's not like Harper was being held at gunpoint, it's not like Bethany stumbled into a hardcore militia.

She stumbled upon 2 teenagers who had been kissing two seconds ago. Because there's no way she didn't see it due to the timing.

And she drew her weapon and made her presence known with the weapon drawn.

That just screams racial prejudice. And while I would be ready to commend YJ for trying to hit at modern issues in America as it has been doing multiple times this season, I just feel that this one didn't work out as well as they had intended.

So, what am I am trying to get at?

The episode wouldn't have been as bad if it had been in parts. I can deal with some unsavory stuff here and there, but all at once? It screams cheap writing and trying to shove too many plots in at once. And knowing that Greg wrote this ep makes it feel even worse.

They had the opportunity to raise the stakes, make Klarion an unbeatable foe, and have Zatanna with the Outsiders create a truly international incident with the Justice League. As advertised in the synopsis.

Instead we had a dumbed down Klarion and a Flesh Monster. Plus the continuing of disservice towards POC.

They had the opportunity to actually develop the Harper Squared relationship, without the need for booze and a gun.

Instead, we got The Scene.

So yes, I disliked the ep.

But no, that doesn't mean I don't want s4, or that the show would have been better staying dead.

I love the show, and while it is hurting my opinions on the route the plot has taken and how they presented the characters, it doesn't mean I have given up on the show.

It just shows me that any show has the capacity to disappoint me.

#Young Justice #Commentary #it's long; it's wordy; it's my thoughts on ep 18 #read it if you wish or don't

[brightbeautifulthings]

Planting Wolves by Neda Disney

"He noticed that the people who needed to be listened to the most also asked the fewest questions. They were the ones who wanted to know the least about him, but they had a lot to say. It was a strange paradox that the person who wanted to be heard the most could not hear himself."

Year Read: 2019

Rating: 3/5

Context: I received a free e-copy from the publicists at Coriolis Company in exchange for an honest review. Trigger warnings: death, parent/spouse death, suicide, asphyxiation, alcoholism, addiction, severe injury, severe illness, Alzheimer's, blood, abusive relationships, eating disorders, anorexia, misogyny, racism, fat shaming.

About: Six short stories follow the struggles of people whose lives intertwine or pass one another's but fail to connect. A writer finds himself in limbo in a bar where he discovers everyone can read his mind. A former housewife and art collector with Alzheimer's travels through time. A movie production assistant tries to hide his stigmata. An AA sponsor imagines her dead brother in every young man she helps. A sex addict is incredulous when his ex-girlfriend can't forgive him for cheating on her. A TV costumer radically gains weight after chronically abusing her friends and co-workers. With subtle elements of magical realism, Planting Wolves explores themes of loneliness and failed connection against the backdrop of Hollywood.

Thoughts: This is a strange book, and I mean that as a compliment, as someone who likes strange books. It's the kind of thing I would have been interested to study in graduate school and still enjoy coming back to from time to time. Despite its literary fiction status, the prose is surprisingly accessible, and there's nothing on a sentence level that's overly difficult to understand. What's actually happening on plot and thematic levels is another story, but it will work fine for readers who are comfortable not having all the answers on a first read. Is an old woman with Alzheimer’s actually time traveling through her life? Is a writer really in his own personal hell where everyone can read his mind, or are his synapses just firing as he dies? It doesn’t actually matter that much, since the real world is just as strange. As one of my favorite professors used to say, "Understanding is overrated." The elements of magical realism, real or not, bring fresh understanding to characters’ minds and motivations.

The stories that stood out to me most were "Mrs. Randall" and "Rodney", likely because those characters felt the most sympathetic to me--though I suspect this will be different for everyone who picks it up. Unlikable characters abound in this collection, some of them more horrible than others, but few (if any) of them I'd particularly want to be friends with. "Mrs. Randall" is one of the longer stories in the collection, and that's perhaps why I found myself relating to her more than the others despite all the reasons not to. She's an adulteress who abandons her child--not particularly great or forgivable qualities--but I sympathized with her struggle to fit herself into her husband's narrow world. I feel like Disney took the unfaithful housewife trope and brought it to a new level. Her husband doesn't even see her as a real human with her own desires, yet he's faithful and hardworking. I enjoy the way the story twists up morality and makes it impossible to decide who's at fault here (unless we're defaulting on everyone). "Rodney" is less ethically complicated, and his stigmata is an apt martyr metaphor for anyone who listens more than they talk. People read whatever they like into silence.

I found it interesting that "The Writer" and "The Sex Addict" never give names to their main characters (though we likely know who they are in connection to other stories), and these were the characters who felt more like literary comments than actual humans. I had trouble deciding whether there was any genuine narrative sympathy for The Writer, despite his circumstances, since Disney seems mostly to be making ironic comments about navel-gazing, rich white guys who bemoan their good fortune and still can't find a way to be happy. (I mean, there are a lot of literary fiction novels about exactly that topic). This feeling was reinforced in "The Sex Addict", easily (and mercifully) the shortest story in the collection, where a sex addict manages to blame his ex-girlfriend for not being able to forgive his cheating (but not himself for actually cheating--he has an illness), as though closure and forgiveness are human rights when you've wronged someone. It seems to be taking amusing shots at both Infinite Jest, which deals heavily with addiction, and Brief Interviews with Hideous Men, which probably has a character just like this one in it somewhere, as the title implies.

Structurally, I like what's happening here. There’s an enjoyable ambivalence about whether it’s a novel or a story collection, with the truth being that it’s a little of both and also neither. I'm not sure the stories quite stand independently, despite having distinct characters and plots. There's also a lot of crossover and recurring characters whose connections often aren't obvious until well into the story. I'm sure I didn't catch them all; I'm still not sure whether the Sex Addict was the actor we meet in the first story or someone else, just that I was supposed to know who he was. I'll admit I don't understand the twist in the last story, "Nelly", or how it connects to Rodney's situation. (There’s also heaps of fat shaming in it, which is super uncool.) I thought I was following it, and then bam; I have no idea what it means. But, hey, understanding is overrated.

Thematically, I'm a little fuzzy on the big picture as well. The overall metaphor about planting wolves recurs throughout the story. All of the characters suffer a sense of displacement in their own lives, and they're more likely to turn on each other than save themselves. The stories deal with loneliness and the difficulty of making real, human connections, largely because the characters are incapable of seeing past themselves and the roles they play in their own unhappiness. In a literary sense, this isn't a ground-breaking topic, and I can point to novels that deal better with similar material. Frankly, I also dislike this theme as a stopping point, since it's easy to default on cynicism. It's much harder to look at a problem and decide where to go from there, where we still might manage to find pockets of connection and redemption--but that's just a personal preference. I enjoyed both reading and thinking about the collection, which is more than I can say for many books of its kind. I'll be interested to see where Disney's writing goes next.

#book review #planting wolves #neda disney #literary fiction #story collection #coriolis company #3/5 #rating: 3/5 #2019