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damagedintellect · 10 months

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Klance pulled from the Vault

💌 Can’t Break These Cuffs: Chapter 1 💌

Summary: Takes place during S1 E8, Keith tries to unchain Lance from the tree but somehow cuffs themselves together and are stuck like that for three days or at least that’s what Rolo “said” but there’s something about the way Pidge and Allura are exchanging glances that say otherwise.

Notes: Someone might have done this by now but I’m still going to do it. I’ve been writing this for over a year and it would be a shame if I never posted it. -2017

Look I wrote this in 2016 and never finished it and here I am in 2023 finding it in the very back of my google doc. I remember laughing so hard when I thought of this idea but I was always scared of the fandom so I never posted any of my klance wips. Back when I started this I planned for 3 chapters. I would have to rewatch all of Voltron to finish this but if enough people scream at me to, I might. Although after proof reading this holy shit has my writing style changed over the years. I promised to drag a wip out of the vault for 200 followers so I did my part 07

💌 Word count: 7,990 💌 You are here | Next Chapter =>

“Keith! My man, I thought you were actually going to leave me here.” Lance cheered still laying on the ground chained to the tree. He was smiling like an idiot as Keith sighed, crossing his arms. He didn’t even want to know how Lance managed to get himself chained up in the first place, but he always found it amusing to see Lance end up in situations due to his own stupidity. This would be the perfect time to mess with him, like draw on his face or something. Keith really didn’t know why he felt the impulse to do something to Lance so he shook the feeling off.

“I thought about just leaving you but unfortunately we need your sorry ass.” Keith knelt down to look at the cuffs. “OOoou~ just my ass or my-” Keith tuned Lance out so he could concentrate because he had no idea what he was doing and he was not about to tell Lance that. He fiddled with the cuff until he heard a click and it released one of Lance’s wrists, retracting the yellow energy beam around the tree. Keith was about to start on the other cuff when it latched onto his wrist instead.

“Oh you have got to be kidding me.” Keith tried clicking all the same buttons he did the last time but nothing was happening. He frowned, furiously clicking every button but still nothing happened.

“Keith what the heck are you doing! I’d rather be chained to the tree.” Lance started flailing his arm around trying his own way of getting it off. It didn’t work of course but he had to try, all it managed to do was irritate Keith “Would you stop that! It’s not helping.” Lance stopped flailing for a moment instead opting to glare at Keith before he started biting at the restraint like a wild animal. Lance was just being dramatic not actually thinking it would work.

“Seriously?” Keith grumbled trying to pry the idiot from the metal contraption as Lance only shot him another glare, “Yes, because I’m out of ideas and it was worth a try.” Lance stopped and looked away from Keith folding his arms dragging Keith’s along with him. Keith pulled his arm back and stood up, “Look I’m sure Rolo and Nyma can tell us how to get this unlocked. We just have to deal with this for the time being.” Lance rolled his eyes and grabbed his helmet while Keith activated his comm, “Hey guys, we’ve got a small problem.” Keith pulled Lance in the direction of Red as they heard Shiro respond, “What is it now?” Keith sat down as Lance was forced to cram himself in the small cockpit and watch him pilot Red back to the castle. “Well-“

“Keith cuffed us together and can’t fix it!” Lance yelled out in frustration.

Lance pouts, of all people it had to be Keith, with his stupid smug grin and his oddly calming aura and his pretty but poorly styled hair and his beautiful purple eyes, like seriously how is that even a thing and his - wait why was he thinking about this again? Oh yeah because Keith has this weird way of pushing his buttons without even trying. Lance sighed glancing back at Keith, yeah I’m screwed.

Meanwhile Pidge and Allura turned off their comm’s and laughed, “I say we keep them like that until they can get along.” Allura suggested as Pidge just held their side snickering at the thought of that. “Please, I don’t even think they could last one day.”

Shiro didn’t know what to say, it would definitely help the two grow. “Keith does need to learn how to bond and trust Lance and Lance does need to get over his stupid hate rivalry, but wouldn’t that be too, what’s the word, malicious? At the same time it would be beneficial to the team as a whole.” Shiro broke from his thoughts pausing his inner monologue to finally address the issue.

“Oh my god I’m actually considering this as an option” Shiro was shocked with himself and how he wasn’t opposed to the idea. Allura smiles “Hunk what do you think?” Hunk shrugs “I mean it couldn’t hurt but I say the moment they try to actually kill each other we stop.” Allura nods “So then it’s settled no one tell them the cuffs can be removed and we just let it play out.”

Pidge stopped laughing now that it was actually happening “What if we need to form Voltron?” Allura thought for a moment “If things get that bad then we’ll take them off but I’m sure we’ll be fine. I also believe we shouldn’t have to rely on Voltron to solve all our problems unless necessary.” Which was true.

Red landed shortly after their conversation ended, all of them in agreement that this was for the best and if they wanted to bond as a team Keith and Lance had to suck it up for the time being. Keith and Lance made their way to the group, both clearly annoyed at the situation at hand. The group was quiet just staring at them.

“So how do we get this off?” Keith was the first one to speak but everyone continued to exchange glances as Shiro cleared his throat “How do I put this lightly.” Pidge rolled their eyes “You don’t, it’s time locked.” Pidge inwardly groaned there was no way they were going to buy that, like seriously? Time locked? What kind of bullshit would be able to stop them from getting it off.

Lance and Keith looked at each other than at Rolo, who wasn’t too sure what was happening but was willing to play along anyways “I’m surprised you even managed to take one off for a few seconds.”

Lance threw his hands in the air “You mean we’re stuck like this!” Pidge walked up to them “inspecting” the cuff “Nyma originally set it for 3 hours but to me it looks like now it’s set for 3 days.”

Keith's eyes widened “Pidge can’t you just take it off?” Hunk lifted his hand to contribute. “Rolo said if you try to take them off they will start to tighten and even if you do manage to cut them they’ll…they’ll combust.” Hunk hoped he sounded confident enough for them to believe it. He felt bad he would have to lie to his friends but if it would get them to stop hating each other then it was worth it. Keith and Lance swallowed hard and looked at each other, they were literally stuck like this for the next three days.

With everyone back at the castle Lance and Keith were sitting on the steps as they talked about how to save the Balmara “And yes blasting.” Keith said using his free hand to gesture to Hunk who looked concerned “Are you sure you guys can do this I mean what if we need to form Voltron?” Lance and Keith looked at each other and shrugged “Maybe it would be better if we waited. The castle’s defenses are still damaged from Sendak.” Shiro suggested but they both stood up

“If-“

“We-“

They were surprised they spoke in unison. They exchanged glances and Lance motioned for Keith to continue since he probably would word it better. “If we wait any longer they’ll know we’re coming and have time to prepare.” Keith looked back at Lance “Yeah, I was going to say that too.” It was silent again, they didn’t need to look up to know that everyone was looking at them.

“Dammit why did we have to get stuck together” Keith thought to himself. Shiro sighed “We’re not going to make you guys do anything you can’t handle. If you feel like you both could handle piloting and fighting as one unit-“

Lance laughed “I know I can, I don’t know about Keith though.” Keith shrugged “Well then whose lion are we taking?” Shiro looked to Allura “I think that’s something you both need to decide.”

“Red”

“Blue”

Their heads shot up and they stared each other down “Red.” “Blue!” they pressed their foreheads together “We are taking Red. Red’s faster and I have better control while piloting.” Lance rolled his eyes; he didn't deny that.

“Yeah but Red is smaller than Blue, we both could barely fit the last time and I’m not about to sit in your lap.” Keith pulled back, Lance was right. He would hate to just sit and watch Lance have all the fun piloting but he would also hate to make Lance practically sit in his lap. Wait, did he sit in his lap on the way back to the castle? Keith couldn’t remember he was too busy thinking about a way to get out of the cuffs. He didn’t want to make things awkward between them, Lance already hated him for some reason and he didn’t want to make things worse. “Fine, we'll take blue.” But Keith had a bad feeling about all of this.

Keith’s feeling was right, it sucked. He felt useless just sitting there watching Lance pilot but he felt even more useless in close combat. His freehand was his less dominant hand but somehow they managed to get through it without getting injured or killing each other. He’d also hate to admit it but Lance wasn’t half bad under pressure. He was actually really good with planning ahead, who would have thought. Keith also noted that he was a really good shot. It could be because he never really observed him during training but there was something about the way he looked when he lined up a shot that made Keith feel, um feel, there’s a word for this feeling but Keith couldn’t quite think of the word. It made him feel like he, uh, didn’t dislike him? Keith couldn’t put his finger on it. Admiration was close but maybe too sentimental? He wasn’t sure, but whatever the case it didn’t matter at the minute.

With the mission over everyone had some downtime before dinner. Lance and Keith started walking in opposite directions when they felt the tug on their arms and they both groaned “I was going to the training deck, where were you going?”

Lance didn’t turn to face Keith but Keith could see his whole body slump “I was going to take a shower but I forgot we were still a package deal.” He forced a laugh and Keith felt bad. Lance hated him and now he was forced to be around him more than usual. “Well it has been a long day” He could actually go for a shower. For some reason he was sweating more than usual. A shower between teammates wasn’t awkward right? Like Lance wasn’t going to kill him for suggesting they actually do it right, shower that is. Why was Keith so flustered right now? He mentally slapped himself for dwelling on this more than he should have.

“Okay, we could do that.”

Lance was shocked to say the least. He wiped his head around a red tint graced his cheeks “How!” Keith was taken aback “What do you mean “How” we both just-“ Lance stopped him right there “No like how are we supposed to get our clothes off, we’ll blow up!”

Meanwhile somewhere else in the castle Pidge, Hunk, Allura, Shiro and Coran were having a secret meeting. “So do you think they actually bought the whole “If you tamper with it, it will explode” act?” Obviously it wouldn’t but Hunk just kind of blurted it out. He didn’t like the idea of lying to his friends so he blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. He was still surprised that they went through a whole mission with little to no problems at the Balmara.

“Lance probably bought it, Keith might be skeptical but wouldn’t risk it.” Shiro said still in disbelief that this will work the way Allura assures him. He knew Keith had a thin patience not to mention they both had the inability to back down from a challenge. Yeah they are going to kill each other.

“So we are really going to let them stay like that. What if they really needed to be separated for some reason?” The group heard footsteps down the hall before Keith and Lance burst through the door and in unison say “We need to get these things off, now!” Allura crossed her arms leaning back, she rolled her eyes and thought “Oh what is it now”

“We can’t get out of our uniforms if our hands are stuck together!” Lance very animatedly flailed about making Keith almost lose his balance. Everyone exchanged glances then looked to Pidge nervously “Ugh Fine, I’ll try but I’m not a miracle worker.” Pidge pretended to look at the cuffs and tamper with it. Rolo had already explained how it works, faking it wasn’t that hard. That was until she clicked something and it short circuited for a moment causing a small puff of smoke to seep out of the cuffs. Lance and Keith both jumped ever so slightly and Pidge wiped the sweat off of her forehead “I may have just added a day, but I think I got it to unlock for 5 minutes every two hours.”

Lance hugged Pidge “Ooh you nerdy genius you!” He let her go and she fixed her glasses “Yeah yeah, it’s set to happen on the hour, but they will reattach after 5 minutes no matter how far apart you are. Don’t ask why because I don’t know.” They seemed to buy it and Lance asked “What time is it now?” Coran looked at the console “2 before the hour” The two nodded to each other before running off.

“Run faster or we won’t make it!”

“You’re the one lagging behind Mullet!”

As soon as they were out of earshot Pidge fell to the floor laughing “Oh my god they are both idiots! I can’t believe that worked. I can’t believe they bought it!” She grabbed her stomach because it started to hurt “Until we need to form Voltron I suggest we leave them to work it out themselves.” Allura concluded. Shiro just hoped she was right, maybe he would check on them later. With the meeting over and everyone seemingly on the same page, they left to do whatever it is they do in their free time.

Lance and Keith were still running down the hall “Whose room are we going too?” Lance said as they took a hard right. “Yours, it’s closer.” Lance sighed in relief he would be able to use his face scrubs to help him relax and distract him from the fact that he was going to shower with Keith. He wondered if Ke-

He was broken from his thoughts when he ended up running face first into his door. The cuffs were detached and Lance didn’t notice that Keith stopped running to wait for the door to open. “You okay?” Keith asked, he was inside the room already peeling himself out of the suite. Lance rubbed his nose “Yeah I’m fine.” He stood up glancing at Keith’s bare chest “Better now” he mumbled under his breath. His face was red from hitting the door but he could feel the blush rushing to his cheeks. Keith wasn’t built like Shiro, his muscles were lean and Lance thought that was just as sexy, shit why did he care. He should be getting out of the suit.

In the meantime, Keith was already starting the shower. He could not believe he was doing this. He was about to shower with Lance. What the hell did he do in his past life to deserve this? Was it because they weren’t on good terms since they had a fight the other day and the world has a sick sense of humor. Actually no, when were they not fighting or should he even call it fighting. Keith sighed at least the shower was big enough for two.

Lance put out clothes for him and Keith but it looks like they’re going to have to share a towel. Great sharing, probably the one thing about home he didn’t miss. Lance started daydreaming about home when he felt a strong tug on his wrist making him stumble over the armor on the floor. He was pulled into the shower face to face with Keith

“Oh, uh” They both looked down at the cuffs “I guess it’s been five minutes.” Lance coughed out trying to fight the urge to look Keith up and down. He wasn’t gay or anything but why waste the opportunity while it’s here. Lance tried to assure himself of this reasoning. That’s when Keith moved out of the way so that Lance got hit by water making him jump.

“What the hell! Why is the water so cold!” Lance forced himself to push through it to change the temperature. “Cold showers are better for your body, it helps with your metabolism. I don't see what the problem is?” Keith just shrugged running a hand through his wet hair

“You’re supposed to start off with hot water to open your pores! Do you know nothing of skin care?” Keith just rolled his eyes as Lance splashed him with the now really hot water “Jesus Christ that burns!” Keith tried to cover his face but Lance splashed him again and grabbed it “Aren’t you supposed to be like the spirit of fire or something? Anyways do you ever wash your face, all I see is filth. Your pores are calling out to me to save them from this life.” Lance was only inches away from Keith, his eyes analyzing every nook of the barely shorter paladin's face.

“That’s the lion and I’m pretty sure if you poured hot water on anyone’s face they would react the same way.” Keith finally pushed Lance away attempting to grab the space soap but Lance swatted at his hand “What is it now Lance?” Keith said flatly as Lance smeared his face wash all over Keith before doing it to himself.

“My shower, my rules now scrub.” Keith rolled his eyes and did what he was told. He still couldn’t believe he got himself stuck to Lance and they successfully completed a mission stuck like this. This was real life and now they were showering together, this was thing that was actually happening. Keith continued rubbing the face wash in his face when Lance doused him with ice cold water.

“Oh so now you use cold water.” Keith grumbled he was not ready for the temperature change. He kind of liked the hot water, it was relaxing. “Yeah, we got the filth out of your pores now we close your pores to prevent filth from getting back in.” Lance said it so casually Keith was questioning who this guy was and what did he do to Lance. To Keith, Lance knowing something was a foreign concept all he ever saw the blue paladin do was flirt with most anything with legs

“Why do you know this?” Keith thought out loud by accident.

Lance continued his face wash routine “I grew up with three sisters, don’t you have any siblings?”

“I-um, outside of Shiro, actually does Shiro even count, we're technically not blood related but he’s the closest thing I have to a sibling I guess.” Keith looks at Lance who was clearly lost “I’m an orphan.”

“Oh” was all Lance said. He didn’t know that, but somehow everything makes sense. Seriously this explained a lot about Keith. He was alone. This is why he’s so socially awkward. He never had a family to argue with, he never had to care for anyone other than himself especially when Shiro went missing. He never got the opportunity to be close to someone. Lance kind of feels bad. His family was everything to him and he couldn’t imagine a life without them.

... a life without them .

With Lance deep in thought neither of them spoke for the rest of the shower. Lance gave Keith the towel and started to get changed “I set some clothes out for you unless you want to head over to your room to get changed.” Keith thought about it for a moment and looked at the cuffs. “We still can’t put shirts on so there’s no point, I’ll just wear this.”

Lance grinned to himself the pajama pants. They were a little big on him and he was only an inch and a half taller than Keith so the hems were dragging on the floor but what he was really grinning at was the lion slippers. Man did he love those things because they can make anyone look cute.

While Lance was too busy standing there smiling like an idiot he didn’t notice Keith was staring at him too “Why are you looking at me like that?” Lance looked up “What, oh it’s nothing let's go get dinner.”

As they made their way to the dining room, it was pretty clear that everyone was staring at them and Keith was amazed that Lance didn’t make any comments about it. This was Lance we were talking about he always had something to say. It was weird having him be quite. Keith looked at everyone else. Something felt off to him, maybe it was because he was not used to everyone staring at him? He couldn’t put his finger on it and just ate his food goo with no trouble at all already adjusted to using his off hand.

He started hearing muffled snickering followed by faint laughter causing him to look up. Allura and Pidge were trying not to laugh because Lance was having a hard time using his less dominant hand. Lance continued trying although clearly frustrated with himself for being unable to handle a simple task, it made Keith smile. It was adorable and made Keith feel warm inside, wait did he just think that Lance was cute. Lance threw his spork down and started yelling at Pidge to stop laughing, he had some food goo on his cheek and Keith had half a mind to wipe it off for him. Half a mind, the other half was arguing with himself over such stupid thoughts but he did want to see Lance flustered more. Teasing Lance was everyone else's pastime. He should try it. He grabbed the spork and shoveled the food goo in Lance’s mouth forcefully.

“Some of us want to eat in peace.”

Red tinted Lance’s cheeks as he pulled the spork out of his mouth. “Well some of us are having problems! Why aren’t you having issues with this? Isn’t that your non-dominant hand!” Lance flailed about trying to draw as much attention away from the blush on his cheeks as he could.

Keith shrugged, “I don’t know, I guess I got used to it, it’s not that hard.” Lance’s eyes narrowed “Got used to it!” He opened his mouth to continue his rant but Keith shoved another spoonful causing the other to choke slightly. “Stop doing that!” Lance glared at Keith who tried to not to laugh at his pain. He made no attempt to hide his grin though.

“Stop complaining. It can’t be helped, so shut up and take your food goo.” Keith held another spoonful in front of his face while Lance just turned his head to the side “No, we are not doing this!” Allura and Pidge were having a field day finding it hard to contain their laughter. Shiro already left and Hunk was getting seconds paying no mind to what was going on.

“Lance come on, I just want to be done with this too but I can’t leave until you eat.”

Lance could not believe this was happening. Keith was feeding him. Keith, who never paid any mind to him at the Garrison, was currently willing to feed him. What kind of sick twisted dream was he having and why was he not waking up. Actually this whole day kind of seems like a sick twisted dream and Lance was torn, he wanted to wake up but a part of him hoped this was real. He kind of liked the attention and sure Lance had wanted Keith’s attention but not like this, or did he. His head is starting to hurt between trying to use his off hand, yelling at the girls and sneaking glances at Keith’s abs when he wasn’t looking. He couldn’t think straight.

Keith could not believe he was doing this, and he was what’s the word, enjoying it? He had no idea why he was enjoying it but he was. This was stupid but it made Keith smile. By now the girls had lost interest and everyone had left and it was just them.

Lance finally gave in. “Fine, feed me but never speak of this again.” Keith snickered “What about tomorrow? We’re stuck like this for what, 3-4 days?” Lance groaned “Don’t remind me.” This time Lance ate the spoonful “God this is embarrassing.” He mumbled more to himself as Keith shook his head “No, what’s embarrassing is accidentally chaining yourself up to someone you’re trying to free.”

Lance grins and looks away “Not even, what’s embarrassing is getting yourself chained to a tree.” Keith laughs

“Yeah, you got me beat there.”

Lance stood up triumphantly “I finally beat you at something!”

“Are you really sure you should be proud of that?”

“Absolutely not but it’s the one thing I got.” Lance chuckled at their stupid game.

Keith rolled his eyes “I’m cuffed to an idiot.” Lance playfully smiled “And it’s all your fault.”

Keith frowned standing up to clear away the plates “So now what?” Lance asked not really sure if he would even get an answer. He was right, he didn’t get an answer. Keith just started walking, dragging him along. Keith probably wanted to get a shirt Lance looked down. He forgot he didn’t have a shirt either. He was surprised he wasn’t cold, he wondered if Keith was cold. He looked at Keith’s bare skin, it looked really soft. A click echoed through the halls as they reached Lance’s door. Keith kept walking probably to go to his room.

Lance sighed, what was he thinking? All day he’s been thinking about his little rivalry attitude he had with Keith. Was it really a rivalry he felt towards Keith? Lance walked into his room and put his shirt on. It’s not that he hated Keith, far from it but he couldn’t explain it. He just assumed that since he craved his attention it was because he felt like he wanted to one up Keith but now he didn’t think that was the case. Was it ever the case? He laid down on his bed as he thought about it. He abruptly sat up when it finally dawned on him.

“OH SHIT!” Lance sprung to his feet pacing about his room. He was running his hands through his hair muttering something incoherent in Spanish.

“ No, no esto no puede ser. Esto no puede estar bien yo no, ¿verdad? Mierda cuando hizo este comienzo!” [No, no this can't be. This can't be right I don't, do I? Shit when did this start!]

Lance stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed Shiro in the doorway.

“How long have you been there?” he pinched the bridge of his nose as Shiro walked into the room to sit on his bed.

“Long enough to know that you are not okay.” Shiro softly patted the space beside him hoping Lance would sit down and talk about it.

Meanwhile Keith walked past his room for the third time, lost in thought. He cursed under his breath and finally walked into his room. He needed to put a shirt on before the cuffs locked again. He was still thinking about why he offered to feed Lance, was it really to shut him up? No, he got a kick out of seeing Lance flustered. What? No, no he didn’t! Keith threw his shirt on and grabbed his pillow. Once again his mind drifted to Lance. He shoved the pillow into his face shouting a string of fucks into it. He didn’t know why these thoughts were popping up. For the most part Keith could shrug these thoughts off because these feelings were just a hindrance to him but right now it was all he could think about.

“UGH STUPID LANCE AND YOUR STUPID FUCKING FACE!” Keith looked up from the pillow hoping it wasn’t as loud as he thought it was. He looked at his blanket contemplating whether or not he should take it with him. He did get cold at night even with the blanket but tonight he would be sleeping with Lance and he wasn’t sure what the protocol was when sleeping with another human being. Should he take it? He groaned, why was this situation so frustrating? He frowned and was about to go back to Lance’s room when Shiro appeared in the doorway.

“I went to check on you in Lance’s room but you weren’t there. Are you okay? It sounded like you were screaming.”

“Shiro, I’m perfectly fine. Why wouldn’t I be fine.” in the back of his head he was screaming about how he was not fine but he couldn’t let Shiro know that. He knows that would only make him worry and that was stress that he did not need. “Are you sure? You know you can confide in me for anything. Even something Lance related.” Keith crossed his arms “And just what is that supposed to mean. Why would it be Lance related?”

“All I’m saying is that you two are stuck together for 3 days there’s bound to be something bothering you and it’s likely to deal with Lance.” Shiro put a hand on Keith’s shoulder “I’m just tired Shiro. It’s been a long day and-” Keith felt the tug on his wrist and suddenly he was being dragged down the hall by the cuff until he crashed into Lance.

Lance grabbed at his head while Keith followed suit “Wow, Pidge was not kidding about reattaching no matter where we are.” Lance realized he was on top of Keith and stumbled to his feet avoiding eye contact.

Shiro was a few feet away still outside of Keith’s door. He smiled at the awkward scene in front of him and decided he should leave them be. “I’m sure they’ll figure it out eventually.” He thought and walked to the training deck. At least now he didn’t have to worry about them killing each other.

They walked in silence back to Lance’s room. Neither of them wanted to be the first to say something but as they stood at the front of the bed. They kind of just looked at each other wordlessly.

“You didn’t bring your blanket?” Lance raised an eyebrow. He didn’t care one way or the other; he was just trying to start a conversation to get rid of this awkwardness. Keith threw his pillow down and grumbled “I didn’t exactly have time to grab it being pulled out of my room so suddenly.” In the back of his mind he thought “I knew I was supposed to bring it too! Damnit!”

“Well I mean it’s fine we can go back if you want.” Honestly Lance wanted him to say no because he didn’t want to run into anyone else.

“Nah, I’m too tired. Let’s just sleep.” He nodded and they turned off the lights and went to bed.

Okay maybe it wasn’t that easy. Keith was lying on his back with his free hand behind his head while Lance was lying on his side facing Keith. Keith had his eyes closed and Lance tried really hard to keep his eyes closed. He really did but he couldn’t help it. This is part of the reason why he slept with an eye mask on. He’s always had a hard time falling asleep even when he was a kid. Lance was one of those people who stayed up thinking it happened as long as his eyes were open. It didn’t help that he didn’t have his music to drown out the thoughts either. He looks back at Keith, he looked so peaceful. Was he already asleep? Lance slowly raised his free hand to wave it in front of Keith’s face. No reaction.

“Lucky bastard.” Lance thought to himself as he looked at the cuffs. They were the weirdest piece of tech ever. You know what it’s space of course there was going to be advanced tech but these things were absolute bullshit. He tried to close his eyes again but his thoughts were flooded with the smiling faces he left behind on earth. His mom, father, his sisters and heck even his brothers, annoying as they were, he missed them. He missed home. He looked up at the ceiling. Lance could feel tears starting to well up in his eyes.

“Get it together Lance, you’ll wake up Keith.” He was pulled from his thoughts when he remembered “Oh yeah” He looked back at the sleeping form next to him and then passed him. His eye mask and headphones were on the nightstand. Lance could probably lean over Keith ever so slightly. His attention was once again on Keith.

“Hey Keith” said softly and paused waiting for an answer. “Are you asleep?” He took the silence as a yes and took a deep breath. He was going to do it. Lance slowly shifted, repeating “Please don’t wake up.” To himself as he leaned over Keith’s unconscious body. He was almost about to grab the objects in sight when Keith shifted underneath him. Keith’s free arm found its way around Lance’s waist pulling him flush against the other. Lance was so close he could almost touch them if Keith would just let him go he’d be home free. Lance tried to push Keith away but that caused Keith to roll over nuzzling his face in the crook of Lance’s neck.

“K-Keith!” He squeaked having trouble breathing. Keith was a lot heavier than he looked. Lance was starting to panic. Keith was way too close and Lance’s neck was very sensitive. He bit his lip as Keith muttered something against his neck, still clearly asleep. The vibrations gave Lance chills.

“P-Please, K-Keith you need to get on your side of the bed.” He said it kind of loud while still trying to push him away but it didn’t work. Lance was stuck and Keith seemed to be a heavy sleeper. Lance soon calmed down realizing Keith was not going to wake up. He was stuck in his arms but at least they were warm and comforting. Lance needed a hug anyways and as long as Keith wasn’t awake for it he could indulge in it as long as he wanted.

“Fuck it, I give up.” He stopped trying to push the other away and gave into the embrace wrapping his free arm around Keith. “It’s been a long day, I’m tired and if you try to kill me tomorrow it’s all your fault.” At least Keith wasn’t conscious because Lance would probably be freaking out more than he already was internally. All of that aside it was the best night of sleep he’s ever had.

By morning Keith slowly opened his eyes to wake up although he didn’t want to. He was so warm and comfortable. Opening his eyes was a bad idea so he immediately closed them.

“Please be a dream”

He opened his eyes again, nope it wasn’t a dream. He was in fact cuddling with Lance. Keith wanted to stay like this but what if Lance woke up. Things would be awkward, well more than they already were. He carefully detangled their limbs and looked Lance over, he slept with a soft smile on his lips. God did he want to kiss him. What? No, bad Keith, stop it! It’s too early to have these kinds of thoughts. Keith slowly leaned down but stopped.

Lance started to stir, about to wake up. On impulse Keith laid back in the position he remembered falling asleep in pretending he was still sleeping. Lance opened his eyes, rubbing them before he registered his surroundings. He shot up and choked out a frantic

“What-wait-how-but…I thought!” Lance growled to himself frustrated. Was last night all in his head, did he dream it? No he didn’t even fall asleep until after the fact. He flopped back down making a disgruntled sigh as he hit the pillow, he wasn’t one hundred percent sure about anything anymore. “Was this even real life”

“Do you have to be so loud in the morning?”

Lance jolted back up “Oh so THAT, you heard!” referring to last night when he halfheartedly tried to wake the other up. Keith stretched, yawning “What are you talking about?” Lance groaned

“Never mind”

Day 2 seemed to be just as uneventful as the first. Thankfully they didn’t go on any missions but Coran had put together some stupid training simulators for them to run through. The simulators themselves were pretty cool; it was just the fact that Lance and Keith had to do it together as one unit that pissed them off. They probably would have done fine alone. They just couldn’t agree on anything. Each of them believed their plan was way better than the others.

Everyone else had completed the first simulator with ease while Lance and Keith had to run it again for the third time. Shiro observed them closely on their first run and it was apparent that they were treating it as a competition to see who could take out the most enemies, not even focusing on the objective. Not to mention that neither of them were listening to the other. Shiro got an idea and turned to Coran, they were both in the control room overseeing yet another failed simulation.

“Coran, do you mind if I try something?” Coran motioned for him to step up to the control panel.

“By all means, I’m sure you will be able to motivate them.” Shiro looked and sighed, they were fighting again over whose fault it was that the simulation ended. Shiro was surprised, they seemed to be doing well last night but for some reason this morning they had been at each other’s throats more than usual. Shiro only wondered what happened. Where did all this tension come from? Maybe chaining them up together was a bad idea. Shiro fiddled with the simulator, setting it up slightly different than it had been for everyone else, he only hoped that this would work.

“You guys are going to run the simulation one more time but this is how it’s going to go.” Shiro started off, hearing the two complain but he ignored it. “One of you will run through it blind with the other to be your eyes. You will have to depend on each other and listen to one another.”

Lance and Keith looked up to the control room both not too thrilled to run it again. “You can’t be serious, Shiro, please tell me you’re kidding.” Keith did not want to rely on Lance especially when his life could possibly be at stake. Even more so because Lance was the one who died in the last simulation.

“We couldn’t even do it with our eyes open and you expect us to run it blind.” Lance was sure this was going to crash and burn.

“Keith, you will be blind first, so listen to Lance and Lance, Keith will only know what’s happening based on what you tell him so be specific. I’ll switch it halfway through but remember your partner’s well being is your top priority.” Shiro turned off the comm and started the simulation. Pidge and Hunk joined him in the control room “Do you think this will work?” Pidge questioned as Shiro rubbed his face “I sure hope so.”

The simulator was a simple game of capture the flag but on one of the Galra ships. First you had to figure out where the flag was, get it without being captured or heavily injured and take it to the rendezvous point. Simple enough right? When Pidge and Hunk ran through their sessions they were able to hack a few of the centuries to get access to one of the control rooms and found it that way. They had it easy. Not to mention that they both knew something about technology. Keith thought he did and well, you see where that got him. Tied to Lance. The first run they did Keith and Lance rushed nearly every room hoping to find it off of sheer dumb luck. It wasn’t the best idea but they almost immediately set off alarms and drew too much attention to themselves. They really had no choice but they were arguing about whose fault it was and why they couldn’t find it. Then Keith attacked everything in sight, much to Lance’s dismay, being that he had a range weapon and Keith needed to be up close and personal. Lance didn’t like how they bum rushed every sector just for them to be nowhere near the flag.

Back in the current simulation Keith’s visor went black, Lance was now his eyes. They were crouched behind a crate and Lance was peeking around the corner looking down the hall. “Lance what’s going on.” Lance put his hand over Keith’s mouth as a pair of Galra soldiers walked by. Lance leaned into Keith’s ear, or where his ear would be if he wasn’t wearing his helmet “Keep quiet and follow my lead. We’re going to tail these two guys.” Keith could barely hear him but he understood more or less what they were going to do “How am I supposed to follow your lead if I can’t see what you’re doing.”

Lance looked at their cuffed hands and got an idea “Here.” He held Keith’s hand “One squeeze means right, two means left. Stay low and try to keep up, we're losing them.” Lance checked if the coast was clear and then pulled Keith down the hallway.

At first Keith thought it was really weird not being able to see anything but now he found it even weirder. Lance was holding his hand and he couldn’t even see what kind of expression he was making with his face. He couldn’t even make sure that it was in fact Lance that was holding his hand. Keith was frustrated because he secretly really wanted to hold the idiot's hand but he couldn’t think of how to go about it. This was partially the reason he was being reckless, attacking everything earlier. That way he could justify holding his hand with the excuse that the cuff was hurting his wrist when he fought, but he couldn’t bring himself to actually do it and that really frustrated him. Now here they are holding hands and Keith couldn’t even enjoy it because he wanted to be the one to initiate it. Lance squeezed his hand and Keith’s heart jumped, okay maybe he could enjoy it a little.

Lance was glad Keith couldn’t see, he was smiling because he was a genius. Ever since last night’s unexpected cuddle session, real or not, he thought about what holding Keith’s hand would feel like. It’s weird how something so small like holding hands could feel really pleasant. They turned the corner and Lance could see the two walk into a room. Lance slowed down making sure no one was around as they crept outside the door. Keith just stayed quiet seeing as there was not much he could do. All he could do was listen.

“Are you guarding the flag today?”

“Nah, it’s being transported to sector 7. I’m supposed to head to sector 4 after this file runs.”

Lance looked back down the hallway, the coast was clear. He pulled Keith along to try and figure out where the heck sector 7 was. They ran down the hallway to the left

“We need to find sector 7 and I have no idea where that is.” Lance said as they turned another corner waiting for some centuries to pass by so they could make a clean getaway. “But I think we’re getting close because there are more guards, you should get your bayard out.” Lance kneeled down to peek around the corner as Keith materialized his bayard “You better have a good plan because we sure as hell can’t rush in this time.”

Lance got his weapon out too “No idea, I’ll just try to make sure we’re at a distance. Get ready to run, I have to let go of your hand.” To aim his blaster, he needed both his hands. They haven’t drawn any attention to themselves so far but it looks like they can’t avoid it forever. The halls were getting busier and there were less areas to hide. It seemed like they were in sector 7 or at least he hoped so. “We’re going in, there's a small group ahead but I think I can take’em out before they get to us.”

Lance ran in shooting, he hit several before his visor turned black “Shit!” He slowed down only to have Keith speed up sword at the ready “Lance two at three o’clock!” Keith was happy he was able to see now especially since combat was definitely his bread as butter. Lance shot blindly hoping he hit them he couldn’t tell. He heard metal hit the floor and was jerked forwards by his arm “Good now, run we got company!”

Hunk and Pidge were surprised it seemed to be going well. With how Lance was able to get the intel and Keith being able to give callouts while fighting they made a pretty good team and the best part was they weren’t arguing. Shiro smiled and he was pretty pleased with how things are going now that they were playing to their strengths. They were able to obtain the flag but they’ve accumulated quite the army after them.

“Just keep shooting behind you! We’re almost home free!” Keith yelled before his vision went black again “Dammit Shiro!” They both kept running and Lance grabbed Keith’s hand again. There was a at least 10 centuries blocking the way and they were aiming at them but not shooting. Lance didn’t want to fight his way through the barricade instead he smiled to himself. This reminded him of that one time in middle school when he played baseball, he knew exactly what to do “Run faster and get ready to dive and slide!” Keith grinned and picked up the pace waiting for the cue

“Now!”

This was probably the greatest thing that Lance had ever witnessed. He took a moment to committee this to memory as his eyes played everything in slow motion. It was like Galra bowling and they just got a strike straight into the rendezvous point. The simulation ended and Lance stood up double fisting the air.

“PLEASE TELL ME YOU GUYS SAW THAT!” He started jumping about completely forgetting that they were still holding hands. He paused, relaxing his arms down and he looked at their hands taking a moment to register. “Oh, uh” Lance reluctantly and very awkwardly let go of Keith’s hand painfully slow. With his free hand he scratched the back of his neck and looked away. “S-sorry, I uh- yeah.”

Shiro and the others walked up to them shortly after “See what happens when you listen to each other? Now why couldn’t you guys do that on the first run.” Shiro smiled and his plan actually worked. The handcuffs were actually bringing them together.

#I figured with AO3 down now is the time to post this here #My VLD brainrot is showing #klance #who even likes klance in 2023 #this is purely for shits and giggles let me have this #lowkey still scared of the voltron fandom but here we go #theres no going back is there

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shoichee · 2 years

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Hello! First of all I wanna say that I really love your writing! It has me excited every time!!

I had this idea for a while and it always makes me go SOFT!

Haizaki, Imayoshi and Hanamiya (Separately) X f!reader. Like Reader would have a massive crush but it's basic friendship between them so they're really close friends/best friends. And since reader is friends with those baddies Reader usually keeps a tough front so one day Reader can't really hold it no more and Goes "Shut up and Just Hug me" while bawling her eyes out? Like I bet those baddies wouldn't know how to react but I think it would be really cute!!

Anyways Have a Good Day/Night Hun!! All the Love!!

ANON THE WAY THIS PROMPT HAS BEEN ON MY MIND THE ENTIRE 6 MONTH HIATUS, IM SO EXCITED TO FINALLY BE ABLE TO WRITE THIS BLESS UR GENIUS MIND, but wow this prompt is so damn challenging because these 3 are assholes in their own ways—

Also Note: these headcanons are hella long (this entire thing is collectively 19 pages long), like each feels like a whole anime arc LMAO because these three characters having a “favorable” reaction to the reader crying would need a ton of context, which includes: how they met, their relationship dynamics, and such… and these three also have their own definitions of what a “tough” reader is to them… so without further ado, I guess I’m beginning my active status with a big bang…

I would like to tag: @takatul @mihangry @nadav-ii @roppongiperfume @carinacassiopeiae @seijurosempress @kkeke99 @4kominato @bunny-girl-lia (@dust-of-fandoms | edit: it finally me tag you, and I cackled at your reblog hashtag LMAOO) and I would love to tag more people who stuck by me when I was active before, but I can’t find them/tag them! This longest headcanon yet is dedicated to you all and everyone else reading this... mess~

[Tough front f!reader]

Imayoshi Shoichi

you guys probably first met as classmates

sure, there could be a possible scenario where you guys met through basketball, but even so, Imayoshi isn’t the type to take note of people unless they’re in teams Touou has faced before/has a huge reputation… so the chance of him actually wanting to get to know you beyond your face and name is near zero

but on the other hand, as classmates… 1.) he’s pretty much forced to see you around every day and familiarize himself with your presence and habits regardless of what he does 2.) sharing the same class means that you both are smart smart (and someone who shares the same intellectual capacity as him is a MUST to get close to him)

good rule of thumb: the more classes you share with him (throughout the years, because the Japanese school system is quite the opposite of the American system), the faster you become closer together, because that naturally translates to more opportunities for Imayoshi to annoy you more

but half of the friendship development also requires your personality/reactions/things of that nature that might hold his intrigue for a long time

he’s met his fair share of people who have similar wit and irritability as himself, so if he met another Imayoshi-like individual… sure, it’s fun and entertaining as hell, but somewhat predictable in its own right since they’re, well… himself—and he’d like to think he knows himself very well (like Aomine being able to predict Kise even when he copied his basketball style of playing, for example)

imagine if there was a person out there who’s so stone-faced, so blank and unflinching at nearly everything, yet cold and spartan

spoiler alert: it’s you

and wow, holy shit—whenever you’re in the room, the temperature just drops several degrees celsius

everyone’s at least wary of you, and you didn’t even do anything wrong—your presence just elicits that impression out of everyone

Imayoshi couldn’t help but blow a slow whistle the first time he witnessed this with his own eyes

who would’ve thought he found a Kuroko and an Akashi (...before he lost at the Winter Cup) in one individual… let alone a girl (not that he cares about gender, but he’s amused that you’re an oddity in the average Japanese societal norm of a woman)

he had to do some probing, he can’t help it: the opportunity was too good to pass up

“Yo!” he calls out, approaching your desk on the first day of class. “Looks like we’re seated next to each other for the year. It’s nice to meet you, (l/n)-san.” (his polite Kansai accent never fails to stick out in the room)

you merely look at him before you went back to reading whatever book you had in your hand; he looks closer to note that you’re already getting started on the assigned book for the upcoming lessons

so what if he didn’t get a welcoming reply back? that’s fine with him; not everyone’s friendly on the first encounter

either way, he makes himself too comfortable on his seat, stretching out his limbs before he pulled out his usual pen to twirl around out of boredom

and that’s what happened every time he entered class, always making an over-friendly remark or two before you looked at him in silence momentarily

pretty soon, you’ve stopped giving him attention completely, blatantly ignoring him when he calls out for you early in the morning

a slow grin snaked its way onto his face the first time this happened

“How cruel, (l/n)-san! You hurt my feelings every time you don’t reply to me, you know? Really now, to think my efforts for friendship get constantly snuffed mercilessly. You’re really gonna make me cry.”

“Then cry.”

(cue everyone near you two slightly scooching their desks away in fear for their safety)

Imayoshi dropped his grin in hearing you reply for the first time

“No one’s stopping you,” you continued, yet your eyes were still on your own table, minding your own business, as if Imayoshi wasn’t worth your attention to begin with

“Yikes, you’re actually really evil,” he dryly remarked

“Cry about it.”

(YOU’RE JUST KILLING HIM WITH THE STRAIGHTEST FACE, HOW IS THIS HAPPENING…)

the worst thing was, Imayoshi couldn’t get a read from you one bit; normally he can “read minds” based on analyzing any body reaction or facial expression changes… but you exhibit nothing to base anything off of

Imayoshi has truly met an equal opponent for his wit, because you confirmed his assumption that you had much to say about things even if you never chose to indulge in social interactions, and it’s not like you’re bad at conversations—you just choose not to participate

pretty soon, he goes from giving daily “morning greetings” to pestering you at EVERY given moment throughout the day in the classroom

the teacher’s busy setting up a new lesson? you’re gonna hear some comment. it’s break time? you’re enduring comments for at least 10 minutes. you’re assigned to work with your “desk partner” for a class activity? you do your share of the work before giving the paper to him wordlessly… all while hearing his comments

“Honestly, with how much you run your mouth, I’m very much surprised your lips haven’t grown wings and flapped off of your face yet.”

you’re… a little impressed with his tenacity, thinking that he’d give up talking to you after realizing how fruitless his efforts would be… and mind you, Imayoshi was talking to a wall for nearly a damn month now, almost a month and a half

he’s a bit too patient for the wrong things, you think

“I’m flattered,” he easily shoots back with that infuriating grin. “But they say my charm lies in my linguistic abilities. I’m afraid I can’t afford to lose them just yet.”

“That is creepy,” you blankly deadpan at his smirk, before you return your gaze to the board… but you can easily feel his intense scrutiny in your peripheral vision

a day never goes by without multiple interactions like the ones described above happen

it slowly went from you ignoring him to you giving one-word responses like: “Great.” // “How nice.” // “Right.” // “That’s cool.”

you’re somewhat similar to him, he notices; you’re always polite with everyone, yet there’s always a clipped, frosty edge to your words that unsettles them

like how his politeness drips with a bit of jabs and arrogance that never truly puts anyone at ease

when Touou lost the first round at the Winter Cup, he was surprised to see you approach him the day after, and the first thing that comes out of your mouth was:

“Congratulations, Imayoshi-kun,” you said. “That loss was a spectacular show to witness.”

“You wound me,” he languidly sighs with his hands up in the air. “Must you rub salt in the fresh wound? Dear me, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were checking on my well-being.”

you finally give a slow blink to indicate some type of… reaction, though that’s not much at all

“Yes,” was all you said. “You are correct. Take this.”

… wow

the nerve

he’s… speechless

how the hell did you know of his drawing habits, and how the hell did you imitate it exactly?

and since when did you ever pay attention to basketball??

he’s processing a lot of things right now, but he first notices the “Congratulations on losing” and “101-100,” which was the final score of yesterday’s game

… you were watching them play?

“... My, my…” he coos. “I have many questions. Let’s start with the one about how much you’ve been actually staring at me in order to figure out that I drew in class, let alone how I draw.”

he looks up to anticipate an answer, but all you simply do is stare at him more intensely before you tilt your head slightly… as if you had no idea what he was talking about

his grin only grows wider, taking your silence as a challenge, and he puts your sketch on the table and gets up to step closer towards you and lean his body forward, hands in his pockets

of course, your expression never changes, simply moving your head back from the tilted position

“... It helps to open your eyes more, Imayoshi-kun. Maybe you’ll notice things you haven’t been privy to before. Your pen scribbles are irritating to hear on the regular, so my poor eyes witnessing such grotesque imagery was an unfortunate inevitability.”

“Ah-ha!~” he chimes, cracking his eyes open for the first time to you. “Is that so?”

you widen your own eyes slightly in response to making eye contact with his gaze for the first time, and damn Imayoshi for noticing it, because he immediately pulled away in extreme satisfaction and sat at his desk

and yet another day of school started soon after, but this time, Imayoshi was giving off the smuggest aura

. . .

after Touou gets eliminated from the Winter Cup, Imayoshi takes this free time as an opportunity to study for college entrance exams… while also bothering you on the pretense of “study buddies” since you two were in the same grade

though you were still as cold and collected as ever, you were WAYY more talkative with him at this point, though most of the dialogues exchanged were nothing more than him trying to ruffle your feathers up and you deflecting his attempts

and the entire 3rd year was just you two “bantering” (if you can even call it that), but no one would ever see either of you without the other

still, neither of you could deny that both of you guys are really efficient in terms of working together to get things done, where both of you turn serious and start analyzing the objective at hand

these times are when you guys have the more genuine conversations on more personal topics and such:

“I didn’t take you as someone who has a sister.”

“How mean! She’s raised very well as a respectable lady, y’know?”

“We seem to have two different definitions of ‘respectable,’ because have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Another female you sounds like an incoming migraine.”

“I can reassure you that she’s the considerate type of girl.”

“If you insist.”

or maybe another convo like:

“(l/n)-san, do you always have your face stuck in cement?”

“... Pardon?”

“You remind me of a few people who always have their faces as blank as a sheet—it’s kind of terrifying.”

“Always been like this. It’s more convenient this way to scare away nuisances, don’t you think Evil Glasses-san?”

“Clearly it’s not working.” (dryly replied, as always)

everyone’s terrified of you two and would clear the way every time they saw you guys walking by, let’s make that clear

both of you are clearly very polite and proper, always taking rules and responsibilities into consideration… but what the fuck, y’all are way too menacing—seriously, Sakurai wants to RUN to the opposite direction whenever you’re in his field of vision

you’ve been down lately though—and increasingly more somber as spring was coming closer that year—though, it’s more of the air you give off that would indicate this, rather than your facial expressions

in truth, you knew that your time with Imayoshi would most likely end once you two graduated, because he only interacted with you out of curiosity and convenience

but even though you guys were done with taking the exam, Imayoshi still comes to annoy you and hang out with you, so you were secretly relieved that you guys were still “close” in that sense

you become acquainted with Susa, the one who was unfortunate enough to be Imayoshi’s good friend and study partner before you came along; both of you share a mutual understanding and common ground of dealing with Imayoshi’s shit 24/7

. . .

alas, it’s a couple days before the 3rd years graduated, but you aren’t overjoyed at the fact that you are going to move onto a new chapter of your life

quite the contrary, you didn’t like what you were going to leave behind after your last day of being at Touou (yeah, it’s Imayoshi, but you didn’t want to admit it to avoid making this inevitability all the more tangible)

you were alone for once in one of the courtyards, having those moments of quiet contemplation, but for the first time in a long time, you felt tears streaming down your face, you heart feeling a painful squeeze at coming to terms about your inner emotions

your head raises up at the sound of leaves crunching, and lo and behold, it’s almost as if your thoughts summoned him to you

unlike his usual infuriating grin, his face was one of seriousness as he gauges your face… you’re crying

and you’re just staring at him silently even with the tears streaming

he’s a bit unnerved, but he’s a practical one, his mind racing thousands of miles an hour to crack down what you currently need and what the cause of your tears was

he’s an asshole, but he’s not heartless, and lately, he’d been feeling a soft spot for you

“... Do you want solace, silence, or solutions?”

you wordlessly walk to him before tightly hugging him

his eyes are cracked open, trying to figure out what the hell is going on

“... shut up and just hug me.”

he chuckles a bit before gingerly reciprocating, musing, “To think you would want all of the above—didn’t take you as a greedy person, (l/n)-san.”

you both share a comforting silence before you separate yourself from him… you didn’t dare raise your gaze to look at his face, knowing fully well that he was gonna hold this over your head for a long time

“... You never stop running your mouth, do you?”

“But you like me all the same, yes?”

you say nothing, but you stared up at him, your eyes slightly wide and mouth parted from what he was presuming as your way of being shocked… but what’s this?

he can’t tell if there’s a smidge of a flush on your skin or if his eyes are finally playing a trick on him

with the last of your tears still on your lashes, he might dare to call you beautiful

“I told you that my linguistic abilities are crucial to my charm.”

and you immediately went back to your default expression of indifference at his antics

“… You’re annoying.”

“You really can’t afford to be nice for a moment…!” he exclaims in mock-hurt. “But we both know that’s not what you’re really thinking.”

you finally give a sign of defeat—a long resigned sigh—before you opted to walk past him

that is, until Imayoshi stops you by putting his two hands on your shoulders and pulling you back a bit towards him

“Whoa there! You’re really going to leave me up in the air like that? Aren’t you curious enough to stay and let me finish?” you didn’t even have to turn around to know that he had a scheme in his mind

“Letting you finish has never been a good idea,” you dryly reply, and Imayoshi can’t help but genuinely laugh at you inheriting some of his own mannerisms at this point

he brings you even closer, his hands going from on your shoulders to slowly snaking them around your clavicles as he settles his head atop your left shoulder

“Even if I told you that I, too, find you too amusing to let go?”

“Who said I found you amusing as well?” you finally turn your head to his face

“Ah, but you didn’t deny that you didn’t want to let me go either,” he smirks, but it turns slightly more affectionate as he leans closer. “Say, I have a proposal that would be a solution to your current ‘predicament.’ Say that we both graduate, yes? There will be new challenges to tackle as an adult, no doubt. I can graciously offer you my indisposable intelligence for years to come in exchange…” his thumb brushes over your lips, his own lips curling up more when he feels how you got warmer from his touch “... for this?... How about it, (y/n)?”

Haizaki Shōgo

were you guys childhood friends? were you friends during middle school when he used to hang out with some of the Teiko kids? did you somehow worm your way to have connections with people he knew in some shape or form? friends with one of the starters in the Fukuda Sōgō team before you met Haizaki? classmates or ex-classmates/partners through coincidental circumstances led you to hang around even outside of school? did he once hit on you but you vehemently rejected his offer for a one-night stand?

the mystery of the beginnings of this strange friendship was always a subject of gossip and speculation (rightfully so)

but most likely, he probably tried to hit on you like any other girl, but you were the first to not only openly defy him and cuss him out, but also fend off his physical violence successfully through self-defense techniques by yourself

that HELLA surprised him… and also pissed him off

but he left you alone… until he came back to annoy you again a few days later after his pride recovered enough to face you again

“feisty” was what he often likes to call you nowadays

yes, this combative nature of yours always got you into less-than-ideal situations, even if you always meant well, and that aspect of yours always drew him back to you, even if you both hated each other’s guts

it was after the Winter Cup, when Fukuda Sōgō was eliminated, that you two interacted considerably more

“I hope that game taught you a valuable lesson or two, Haizaki.”

“Shut the fuck up, yeah?”

“Or what? Not like you can do anything to me anyways, you fucking clown—”

he immediately goes to throw a fast punch right for your neck, but you immediately dodged it, grabbed his forearm to twist it behind him

“Jesus Christ, you really do never fucking learn.”

he easily shakes off your grip and pulls away with a crazed look that never revealed what he was truly thinking

“I’m a pretty simple guy, yeah?” he sneers. “Just can’t help myself. Whatever, I got places to be at.”

and he never fails to finish his sentence with a lick to his thumb before strolling away

a simple guy, huh, you thought. yeah right

you picked up the fact that he licks his thumb when something is going his way, but recently he’s been licking his thumb before ending his interactions with you… which makes you suspicious as hell

nah, you’re overthinking it

it really does suck that you go to the same school as him, and as such, you are bound to meet each other outside of school too

these encounters always happen when you want to kill time in the local arcades or eat at the nearest fast food restaurants

“Ohhhhh, if it isn’t (y/n)...”

“Goddamn it, why does this always happen to me?” you openly facepalmed yourself before you sourly turn to the source of the voice. “Whatever you want with me, make it quick. I’m tired of seeing your ass around.”

“A quick fuck sounds up my alley righ’ now,” he says quitely loudly to attract surrounding passerbys’ attention in an attempt to humiliate you

he didn’t want to fuck you, not at all, you knew, but those were simply fighting words to piss you off

your face scrunches up in disgust at his words, before a slow smirk spread across your face… which Haizaki doesn’t fail to notice

“A qUiCk FuCk SoUnDs Up My aLLeY rIgHt NoW,” you mimic equally loudly, and you make it a point to pull your arms into chicken wings and walk in a circle around him to mock him

at this point this was when you ran while laughing your ass off… whether he tried chasing you down in contempt or not, you didn’t know, but you knew he was going to get his revenge

another day, you’re sitting at a table outside to eat your lunch when Haizaki casually strolls from behind to snatch a kebab stick out of your bento, which you weren’t quick enough to stop the basketball player

“Haizaki, what the fuck?”

“Oh? Was this yours? Oops… my hand must have slipped,” he drawls… again while licking his thumb

“Damn, I should’ve put snot on them or something before you stopped by. Maybe it’ll teach you to not take people’s food.”

“Hehh?” he gives a mirthless chuckle before he spits loudly on the half-eaten kebab on his hand. “Like this, eh?”

“I—” you gape at him incredulously. “That is the most unattractive thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on in my entire damn life—” you slam your own head on the table. “... Take the rest of my food. You damn ruined my appetite for the rest of this week.”

“Hell no, wench.”

“I insist,” you look up to hiss at him, throwing the closed bento box to him. “Keep the box too, sicko. You can spit your shit in there alllll you want.”

“Ya make me sound like I’m some bug,” he says. “Don’tcha know that the girl I had last night kept screaming to keep my tongue in her—”

“GO AWAY, OH MY GOD—SHOO.”

you immediately dash away with your hands to your ears, singing loudly “lalalalala~” to yourself to drown out any profanities and filth that came straight from Haizaki himself… without any regard to the students giving you annoyed or concerned looks

for some reason though, Haizaki can’t bring himself to throw away the bento box you unceremoniously threw at him…

… you weren’t that half-bad of a cook (he’d rather burn at a stake than admit that ever)

. . .

another evening, you decided to unwind at an arcade hall, making yourself comfortable at a shooting game machine booth

you got yourself a decent score for the first run, and you make a noise of happy triumph before a rude scoff interrupted your fun time

“You fucking suck.”

you immediately knew who it was

“I do not, you manwhore,” you whip your head to Haizaki, disliking his narrowed gaze of annoyance and disapproval of your playstyle. “There are 3 other booths next to me. Go put a token and play by yourself.”

to make your point, you slot in one of your own tokens to start a 2nd round and readjusted your grip on the gun to point at the screen

“Gimme that,” he jeers, pushing you to the side while snatching the booth-attached rifle off your hands

“H-Hey!!”

you harshly slapped his arm in a feeble attempt to make him listen to you, but to your surprise, he completely lets your violence slide and looks at you what that piercing gaze

“Since you’re so shit at this game, lemme give you a few pointers so ya don’t look like a royal dumbass next time.”

“Maybe you should give it back to me because maybe I want to look like a royal dumbass. That’d be a win in your books anyways—”

you’re interrupted by the booth’s loud intro music to indicate that the game was starting, so you have no choice but to observe Haizaki and his gameplay

and the entire time, he’d make a condescending comment every time he progressed further into the game map

… and you hate to admit it, but he was way better in technique of the gun and precision in aiming (your scowl only grows harsher the more points he racked up in the round)

his final score tripled of your own

“So whaddya think, hmm?” he muses lowly while grabbing your chin to look at him, to which you bat away his hand immediately

“I think you oughta give me back the damn gun, that’s what.”

“Hah? Now why don’t ya use one of the three machines next to me instead, like a good girl.”

“Eurgh, ew, ew, ew—ugh! You’re so—that was my spot—!”

you growl under your breath before you roughly snatch your small bucket of tokens and stalk your way to the machine booth next to his, angrily shoving a token down the slot before you hoisted the gun

(cue you out-scoring him in your fury)

(cue him beating your score again)

(cue you beating his score again)

and for the rest of the evening and night, you both kept at the shooting game, both of your prides refusing to concede defeat, all the while Haizaki taunting and goading you

that night you stormed out of the arcade hall when it was time for the establishment to close, with Haizaki’s gleeful cackling echoing down the streets to further mock you of the multiple L’s you took earlier

. . .

you’re sitting in a cheap eatery, lucky enough to grab a table by the window, and you grab your first burger, ready to chow down

that is, until Haizaki slid in the seat in front of you, and you literally snarled at him to go away

“Ya make me sound like I’m such bad company,” he slyly smirks, immediately snatching your other burger on the tray as if it was his to begin with

you don’t even give him the satisfaction of replying because all you do is aggressively bite into the burger while glaring at him, not even bothering to try to get the burger back anymore

so here you two were, eating your burgers in tense silence, before Haizaki finishes his first and leaves without a word… until he comes back with his own order to sit at the same spot in front of you

you merely raise a brow before you take the opportunity to steal his burger from his tray and feast on it

he merely clicks his tongue and glares at you but opts to not say anything

odd…

. . .

the more you “hang” around Haizaki, the more likely you’d accidentally encounter him while he’s having a tryst with another girl… and even more unfortunately for you, you accidentally encountered him while they were both heavily petting each other… when you just wanted to take a shortcut to your home from school

“Oh my fucking god?? Can y’all at least NOT DO THIS IN THE ALLEYWAY? There’s hotels for a reason!” and then you ran out so fast

. . .

these types of encounters and shenanigans would go on for almost 2 years; I would think that Haizaki would need some time to somewhat “mellow” out or at least tolerate your presence to be considered a constant in his life, so much so that he wouldn’t utilize physical violence as much as he did before

having you in his life, whether he liked to admit it or not, taught him to not have as fragile of an ego and pride, and he slowly learned to have some level of patience with you

otherwise you two would be going for each other’s necks beyond just aggressive words and gestures

and wow, you don’t even realize you had this stupid guy in your life for two whole years

you even have each other’s phone numbers

you’ve done a lot of reflecting, especially if being around Haizaki for so long somehow made you a worse person, but when you asked every person who knew you, they simply told you that you were always the same to them (in a pretty confused way, because what a strange question)

speak of the devil, Haizaki’s contact pops up on your screen as an incoming call; you sigh before answering it, knowing fully well that he would spam even more calls just to spite you if you didn’t answer

“What.”

you cringe when you hear a woman’s voice on his end of the line, but that feeling disappears once Haizaki starts talking

“Whaddya know? I’m starving after that session. Usual place, yeah?”

“Huh? What if I was busy, dumbass—”

“I know you ain’t.” and he ends the call as quickly as he started it

irk marks only multiply on your head when you stare at his contact screen before you started heading to your “usual spot”

“Tch, that bitch was hella annoying. Chick yapped her mouth as much as ya do when she shoulda been kissin’ and doin’ what we planned to do.”

“Gee, thanks,” you mumble, rolling your eyes and holding your temples with your fingers.

it became this weird thing for him to talk to you about his escapades and complaints about the women he’s recently been with; it started a year ago when he first did it to mortify you, but now it’s become something of habit… as terrible as it sounds

at… least he trusts you with this type of info? though you mentally chided yourself for having such low standards like this

on rare occasions, when you do share your own complaints/rants of your life to him, he somewhat listens, though he’s yawning half the time or eating something while you’re talking

on even rarer occasions, he talks about basketball

still, it’s somewhat cathartic in a way to have this routine between the two of you

hearing about him talk about women after women doesn’t feel good though; you wonder when you began to feel this way

you certainly didn’t feel like this a year ago

“Fucking damnit,” you mumble to yourself into your pillow

were you… possibly… no… in love with—

“Arfgghyrgfhurfhhhh!!!!” you screech into your pillow at the horrible thought that crept into your mind

. . .

you’ve been reevaluating your life and having an existential crisis at the horrifying realization of your poor choices that led up to this unwanted predicament in your love life

you didn’t come up with any solutions, let alone accepted the fact that you fell for this problematic man… who you may have thought about a lot more frequently than you would like to

no, you do not like Haizaki Shōgo.

… was what you kept telling yourself for the next 3 months of enduring him talking about his usual topics of video games and women without snapping and strangling him right there and then

you finally had enough when Haizaki called you once again, demanding that you two meet up at a fast food driveway for a bite, but soon after, you heard a different woman with an urgent voice: “Hurry up, can’t we go for another round before you go?”

you were just trying to have a peaceful moment in the park alone in the evening, too… looks like that’s ruined

you bit your bottom lip before you abruptly ended the call without giving an answer and threw your phone away on the grass, before you curled yourself up into a ball and let your tears fall unrestrained

why did you do this to yourself? this was what you deserved for liking someone like him.

who knows how long you’ve bawled your eyes out in the dark against a basketball hoop pole, but after being in the frigid air for so long that your fingers feel numb, it must’ve been hours

“You look so damn pitiful there, I almost mistaken’d ya for a lost dog.”

you still had your legs pulled up to your chest, your head tucked in to hide your tears

you pulled your arms tighter against yourself when you heard his unmistakable voice, and he was the last person you wanted to see right now

you immediately pulled your head up when you heard him strutting towards you though

it’s cold—you could see the wisps of air coming from his lips, and he was breathing really hard… which is weird considering he’s extremely athletic, and physical activity was a breeze for him

and he has the harshest look on his face for a while, his eyes narrowing further at the sight of your face

you immediately stand up from your sitting position

“Urgh, go the fuck away! Take a hint already, would ya?!”

he stands there in shock, the same type of shock he felt when he lost to Kise years ago… only worse

you’re in hysterics, crying and yelling at him, and he feels really troubled for some reason—like he feels a slight stir in his heart that he can’t put his finger on, and that makes him more pissed

“What the fuck is wrong with you? I swear, you women are too complicated—!”

“Everything is fucking wrong with me!” you scream at him, and fresh tears escape down your face. “Why do you even stick around me—just, stop—stop giving me hope that…urgh—shut the fuck up and just… (whispers) hug me—never mind…”

you didn’t even finish the sentence, your voice trailing off, and you look at him to see that he’s just… standing there

he doesn’t even say anything, he doesn’t even move

because he knew… anything he would say or do would upset you more, and for the first time, he realizes that his entire time with you all these years was spent pissing you off to no end instead of building any real bond with you

here he was, running around for hours to find you after that abrupt call (in all the restaurants, the arcades, hell—even all of the buildings and areas on campus, and even damn worse—all of the local neighborhood), ditching the woman instantly to look for you and yell at you for leaving him hanging, but the deepest part of him was worried—terrified—that something might have happened to you

women like gentle touches… right? maybe if he tried to hold you, restrain himself from any rough handling, you’d be pacified right? and go back to the same dumb, infuriating person you always were, right?

and what the hell were you muttering about a hug? where was the “you” he knew?

at this point, you’re just watching him, too scared to actually leave and turn your back on him… you still didn’t want to ruin whatever… “friendship” you guys had after building it for so long

the frigid air dried up your tears long before Haizaki decided to take a few sauntering steps towards you… and then a few careful steps before he’s in front of you—the you who’s still staring at him with furrowed brows

he tentatively reaches out an arm to touch your side, and when you don’t flinch (only raise a brow at his action), he fully grabs one side of your waist

“... I don’t know what the hell’s going on with you, but you made me fucking starve and miss dinner.”

your curious gaze turns into one of anger, and you swatted his arm off of you

“Oh piss off then, yeah? Get your damn burger yourself and get your filthy hand off of me when you literally just fucked someone hours earlier.”

“Ohhhh,” Haizaki is immediately relieved, the tension leaving his body when he knows he’s re-entered familiar territory. He leans towards you, head cocked to one side with a bit of a crazed, gleeful look. “Jealous, aren’t ya?”

you give a gasp of indignation and mortification before you reel your arm back to punch him; he deftly dodges you before he hugs your waist from behind, his lips to your ear

“Well if that’s the case… I can also give ya a good time.” and he licks your ear for good measure—

“Y-You… you!!” you’ve now gone on an endless barrage of kicks and punches, and Haizaki, knowing you for quite a while now, knows nearly every practical move you’ve thrown at him

and it goes on for nearly an hour, but Haizaki doesn’t care when you’re back to your normal self again

from then on, instead of going to different women for casual flings, he’s found new entertainment in flustering you and trying to push your buttons in terms of sexual innuendos and gestures

“Haizaki, that’s fucking harrassment—What the hell are you doing?!”

“Hehh? You’re more than free to punch me right now, go on… I can be a patient guy sometimes… unless you actually… like this?”

“Urgh, stop putting words in my mouth—!”

karma will actually kick him in the ass when he takes the next few weeks to figure out his real feelings about you

Hanamiya Makoto

who even knows how you two came together and saw eye-to-eye, but it’s quite a contrasting image to see Hanamiya sauntering down the hallway with you by his side looking quite unbothered and natural… as if you were always meant to be by his side

but the first time you two met… oh boy

the principal finally had enough: all these written complaints from these basketball teams from other schools, asking to shut down the Kirisaki Daiichi basketball team due to foul play allegations… it was time to get to the bottom of this issue, a thorn on the school’s side in terms of reputation

no matter how many times Hanamiya was given a warning, nothing changed

and no one wanted to be coach of the infamous team, all knowing the unsaid horrors if anyone tries to to tame and reel in the starters

the solution? a student disciplinary committee. usually the student council holds the responsibility of reporting and administering proper discipline within school code, but the new proposal suggests that there be a separate student body with leadership separate from the student council to focus on cracking down anything harmful to the “learning environment” (a.k.a. the basketball team)

enter you; you were nominated by many faculty members and students alike, agreeing that you should be the one to spearhead this discipline campaign… always kind, gentle, and sweet—you always seemed to know how to resolve conflicts efficiently and safely

and you accepted the role with a smile and modest thanks

your “priority job” (as strongly urged by the principal) was to deal with the basketball team, especially since rumors of what happened in the Seirin match began circulating around campus

it was one day after practice—when the team was done practicing rough play drills and enacting various scenarios to carry them out—and the starters were strolling out the gym

Hanamiya was the last to exit the doorway but once he slammed the doors unceremoniously and turned around, you magically appeared in front of him with a welcoming smile… and it looked like the other starter players walked ahead enough to not notice you

“Hey there! Super sorry to bother you! I know you guys just finished practice right now, but I would like to introduce myself as the president of the new student disciplinary committee^^” you write something on a clipboard you brought with you before looking at him again

“Ohhhh,” he widens his eyes in mock sincerity, putting a hand to his chin. “So that’s what the fuss in the office was about. My apologies for only realizing now.” There was a coo to his voice that if anyone else heard it, they would’ve known to book it right there and then… so why were you not affected at all?

are you fucking stupid?

“Great! Just wanted to let you know I’ll have to do mandatory check-ins with you every couple days or whenever conflicts arise. Sorry for taking your time, and have a good evening!”

you couldn’t be this oblivious. there was no way. everyone knew who he was and the reputation he brought wherever he went

he gritted his teeth at the fact that you weren’t cowering in his presence, and when you spun around to leave, he deftly grabbed your forearm to pull you back to the closed gym doors behind you

and he made sure that your back felt the doors as he cornered you closer like an agitated predator

“Listen here,” he lowly sneers, all traces of his nice facade gone, replaced by a dangerous glint in his usual gleeful expression. “I’ll let you in on something, president. I run how my team works. You can crawl back to your precious principal and kindly tell him to fuck off and mind his own business. You can also tell him that we don’t need a nosy bitch snooping around like she owns the place. The goody-president can see that this is all in the interest of the student… which is what you student council parasites always preach about…” he leans in closer, caging your body with two arms by the side of your head, and he’s a breath away from your own face. “... Right, (y/n)?”

“O-Oh…” you started, and Hanamiya’s wicked grin grows wider at your predictable reaction

now that’s more like it.

now that he REALLY gets a good, close look at you, you’re not half-bad; there’s just something about that innocence–the naivete–that really turns his gears and has him entertained (this man really has a “stupid girl” as his canon type of girl, I CAN’T—)

“... to think that I have to repeat myself.”

what?

you abruptly move your face even closer to his, your noses touching… your own closed-eye smile taking on a more sinister quality for the first time

“For someone with the supposed 160 IQ, you’re as daft as the dirt I step on, captain. I can easily shut this entire gym if it’s in the interest of the student body. Should I ban you guys from entering? Should I report your behavior to dispel the team completely? Your team’s fate is in my hands. You don’t run this show, dear. I’ll say it one more time: I’ll be checking in 2 days. Keep up the ‘good boy’ act until then, hm?” ( ◠‿◠ )

you take your clipboard to smack one of his arms out of the way to clear a way out for yourself before you hum to yourself and walk onwards

cue Hanamiya cussing and kicking the gym doors

now for the next few weeks Hanamiya has been noticing how TWO-FACED YOU WERE WITH EVERYONE ELSE… he’s so irritated, he’s SO ANNOYED that he’s been biting the inside of his cheek and gritting his teeth constantly while thinking about you

look at you smiling at everyone so kindly when you’re the most awful, sadistic person inside… yeah, he embodies all of that, but only he alone can have this pleasure of terrorizing everyone

they don’t even know your real side, look at you socializing with everyone like you own the hallways—

every comment he makes to you has been reciprocated with a “good-natured” response that makes it obvious that you weren’t scared of him one bit

you’re like… the female version of the rotten, evil Imayoshi

god he fucking hates it here

definitely has made plenty comments about the fact that you’re not his type—that you’re one of those types of girls that irritate him to no end… even still, he doesn’t know why he tolerated you

recently, when he makes those customary remarks though, you widen your eyes a bit or avert your gaze before you shoot back your retorts, though he knows those are things you do to feign reactions to mock him (little did he know that those were not feigned)

you’ve been successfully putting a leash on the team starters, but to be fair, the other starters don’t care because there’s finally someone who can put Hanamiya in his place and it’s the FUNNIEST thing in the world

in other words, you’re good in their books; dare I say, they consider you as a friend // Hara’s been known to give you spare chewing gum every so often recently

you’ve went from checking in on their practices every couple days to tailing behind Hanamiya every chance you get (because you realized the team can just fool you and pretend they’re playing honestly when you do check-ins)... and then it eventually developed into you two always walking side by side (but not because you two enjoy each other’s company, though! don’t get the wrong idea now)

he expected you to tell him to completely change how the team played like any other person has done, but surprisingly, you haven’t really said it out loud… sure, he noticed that you frown a bit when they practice foul play on the courts, but you never made a serious attempt to stop it

“I get what your strategy is…” you give him that knowing look and genial smile one day, and INSTANTLY Hanamiya’s day is ruined once again; he only scowls and walks on, knowing that responding would fuel your sadism further… that was how he dealt with Imayoshi in middle school, after all

you lay out the strategies, describing the rough play as a prerequisite to the “spider’s web” setup, and you finally note that these starters aren’t playing their true positions, but just arranging themselves to create that formation to begin with

“Congratulations,” he praises with that mocking saccharine voice. “Want a cookie for your hard work, Ms. President?”

“Oho–I actually do~ You know, we should try out that pastry shop near the block—”

“Fucking dream on, dumbass.”

he reallllyyyyy hates the fact that no one’s as scared of him walking by them anymore, mostly because you’re there with him… and for some reason, their minds have the audacity to think that you’re taming him in some way or that you’d protect them if he tried anything

give him a year to really get used to your presence, trust me

but recently, your attitude with him has gotten more reactive with him… snappier; you haven’t lost your edge, but you’re not completely mentally there with him 100% sometimes and you sometimes drop the Imayoshi-smile with him completely + show an actual reaction to his words and actions

so now he has a new reason to be pissed—because someone’s making a fool of him enough to somewhat ignore his existence and go daydreaming on him as if he was completely harmless to you… but he’s also smug that he’s visibly riling you up

but one day, you weren’t tailing behind him—in fact, he hadn’t seen you around at ALL

he’s not gonna go look for you, what kinda idiot would damn do that

but it feels… so wrong without you near… not like he’d ever admit that

he didn’t see you for a week straight

he’s sauntering down the hallways so casually but his eyes scan for your figure without him even realizing

he looks out of the window from a high floor, and (finally) there you are, sitting on a bench outside alone, and he feels that familiar twitch curving up his lips at the anticipation of getting under your nerves again

so he walks downstairs, goes outside to look for you, but before he can open his mouth to announce himself to you, he sees you wiping your face with your sleeve with a sniffle

you were crying

he’s shocked out of his damn wits, if we’re gonna be honest, but he quickly recovers before he starts processing this entire situation

he’s now pissed, because:

1.) who’s capable of making you cry to begin with?

2.) how dare someone make his (y/n) cry

3.) NO ONE is allowed to make you cry except him and him only

4.) he doesn’t like how shaken he feels when he sees you so different from how you normally are, and he can’t have that shit—he needs to be in control of everything… but now, he has no idea what to do… this type of scenario never crossed his mind and now he feels like a lost little boy

“Oy.” it’s a rough line, hardly comforting at all—scary even, but if anyone knew Hanamiya well, those deep furrowed brows with a harsh scowl meant that he was bothered by what he was seeing

“Urgh,” you sniffed. “... I’m… (sniff) not in the mood for your shit right now…just, go away—can it, (sniff) will you?”

“And miss seeing this ugly ass mug of yours? Hah, I’ll make myself comfortable rigggghht here. They say the misfortunes of others taste like honey, and yours is a bit too delectable to pass up.”

he’s standing right in front of your seated figure, but before he moves to take a seat next to you and plop down, you wail out:

“... Shut the hell up and just hug me already, damn it…”

he stiffens momentarily, but his body is going on autopilot, as if it was following your command, and before he knows it, your face is pressed against his midriff, your arms wrapped around his torso… and he’s aghast to see HIS one arm against the back of your neck and the other (that’s also attached to him!) on your back

and to save face, he puts the fakest “loving” tone into his voice, as if mocking you that you’re touching him like this and he’s just playing along:

“Look at our president, hugging the Bad Boy like I’m the most precious thing in your life. Hah! Is this in the best interest of the student body, too?”

you tighten the hug around him before mumbling, “... No… it’s in my best interest.”

“... get off of me—your snot is disgusting.” (to which you gripped his torso even harder to spite him in response)

he’s using this hug as blackmail (he FINALLY has dirt on you to use against you)

. . .

imagine the school uproar of everyone when they found out you two are an official thing later on

the principal is gonna faint and die from a heart attack at the news

“You know,” you muse, “you should actually stop beating basketball players up and just keep the ‘spider’s web’ part of the strategy. The latter actually has some intellectual merit behind it.”

“And why should I, my dear (y/n)?” Hanamiya goads, looking up from a magazine to glance at you but holds his scrutiny of you when you lean your lips to his ear

“I’m sure a genius like you can find a way to piss players off while still playing by the rules. Don’t you think that’s the most infuriating thing of all? The way you’ve glared at me in the hallways for the past year tells me that you agree with my sentiment. I’ve always noticed.”

he merely scoffs at your face, “Roughing ‘em up gives me the most satisfying reactions. Playing by these damn rules makes me no different than those starry-eyed try-hards.”

“So that 160-plus IQ thing was all just you blowing smoke on some admission papers to make you feel better about yourself? You poor, poor thing… Maybe that intellect could do better with a team that can actually utilize it…? Perhaps Seirin—”

Hanamiya snarls at you and moves to grab your arm closer to him, but you swiftly dodged his grasp like it was the easiest thing in the world

“Nu~uh,” you chided, walking away from him. “Grabbing another student is Code 0129 violation of an attempt of physical assault on campus! We can’t have your team disbanded now, right?” ( ◠‿◠ )

he’s gonna make you eat your own words later though, trust me… after all, he’s still holding the blackmail (that you cried over liking him a while back while begging him for a hug) over you

you’re the one winning though, you completed your objective in convincing the Kirisaki Daiichi team in playing more fairly… and it all took a bit of conniving maneuvers on your end

871 notes · View notes

makeste · 3 years

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BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.

so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can

OMG FLASHBACK??

yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions

oh dear

Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES

???

RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!

ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us

?? ??????? ?????????????????????

so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol

OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!

A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that

-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect

LMAO

WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”

oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime

blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI

“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh

“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”

“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier

LSDKFJLSDKJFLK

“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI

(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)

so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”

and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”

“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas

dsfaelkjldkjgl

you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??

this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed

“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim

anyway so back to the unruly mob

not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap

oh wow the parents are out here too

is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys

MONOMA

so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this

anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/

it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”

so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez

OH MY GOD

MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED

OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT

truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand

“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao

(ETA:

WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)

“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason

narrator: they did not listen to reason

oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE

hmm

this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol

(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)

oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively

“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako

lol uh

gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off

SDLFKJSL

“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”

so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH

OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY

not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that

-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!

sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech

never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him

THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth

so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol

#bnha 323 #uraraka ochako #rat principal #class 1-a #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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castiellesbian · 3 years

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i feel like i need a glossary of terms or a contact list for all these people involved with the show. i have shit memory and dont pay attention to the credits who is sera (sara??) and why does everyone hate her!! why is he Bobo!!!!!! please... has anyone posted about this im desperate

lol well including everyone involved with the show would be difficult, but I’ll give you some highlights

Eric Kripke: creator of Supernatural, showrunner for seasons 1-5. People have differing opinions about him but general people enjoyed his run and he’s considered the best showrunner in the series overall. Not much to say because there’s a lot to say lmao (notable episodes: “Pilot,” “Lazarus Rising,” and “Swan Song”)

Sera Gamble: writer who was involved from the beginning of the show, became showrunner after Kripke left. Her seasons, 6 and 7, are typically regarded as the weakest seasons. She was a huge brothers-only supporter, and was responsible for Misha being written out of the show (as well as Jim Beaver, Bobby) in order to get the show to just be about the brothers again. There’s a lot of drama regarding her treatment of Misha/Cas, but more recently she’s known for the Magicians debacle, a horrendous example of the Bury Your Gays trope. She’s also involved with (the showrunner of?) You on Netflix. She was a pretty good writer, but overall fans dislike her because of her showrunning tenure (notable episodes: “Faith” with Raelle Tucker, “Death’s Door,” “The Born-Again Identity”)

Jeremy Carver: writer from season 3 that was promoted to showrunner from seasons 8 through.... some time in 12, the timeline has been a little murky to me. He was the one who brought Cas back into the main plot, as well as allowing the deancas storyline to become genuine subtext (we can argue whether it was queerbaiting or what he was intending to do if he had been running the series finale, but yeah). Unfortunately, he was also the showrunner when Charlie was killed off brutally, which dampens his legacy. People are conflicted about his seasons, but generally he’s looked upon favorably (not related, but the picture that comes up when you search him on google is NOT him, he’s really like a typical white nerdy looking dude lol) (notable episodes: “The Rapture,” “Sacrifice,” “Do You Believe in Miracles?”)

Andrew Dabb: writer from season 4, promoted to showrunner during season 12 and is the last showrunner of Supernatural (he wrote the finale). He was well-liked by deancas fans for awhile because of how much screentime they were allowed to give, and because of the focus on extended/found family. Sam and Dean only fans didn’t like him for the same reasons. Unfortunately, HIS legacy has been marred by the awful series finale, though it’s debated whether that was his fault or because of network meddling. (notable episodes: “Dark Side of the Moon” with Daniel Loflin, “The Prisoner,” “Moriah”)

Robert Singer: executive producer since the beginning of the show (he’s also co-showrunner throughout Supernatural, but I don’t think he typically was involved with the plotlines too often). He’s directed quite a few episodes, including the infamous wire fight episode (s13 finale) as well as the series finale. Married to Eugenie Ross-Leming, writer of the show

Eugenie Ross-Leming/Brad Buckner: writing partners TECHNICALLY from season 1, but they only wrote one episode until they were brought back in season 7. They are regarded as the worst writers in all of Supernatural, responsible for tactless death scenes of fan-favorites (and typically minorities) like Kevin, Charlie, and Eileen. They also feature a gross amount of dubcon/noncon, racism, weird unnecessary sex stuff, and are SUPER into Lucifer for some unknown reason (they have a crush on Mark Pellegrino I guess). They’re also just kind of bad writers in general, their pacing is weird and their plots convoluted. To be fair, though, they have written some good moments, like Dean trying to reach Cas in Hell’s Angel and Dean’s confessional scene in Paint It Black. But overall, they suck. Why are they still on the show even though BOTH sides of the fandom (who never agree on ANYTHING) dislike them? Well, because Eugenie is married to Singer. Nepotism. (notable episodes, the ones I can stand to watch lmao: “Holy Terror,” “Hell’s Angel,” “Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven”)

Ben Edlund: writer from season 2 who left after season 8, but people STILL talk about him simply because he is arguably the strongest writer of the series. Cas fans particularly like him because he did most of the heavy-lifting regarding Cas’ characterization. He also wrote the famous bi!Dean scene with Aaron in season 8, where Dean is flustered after being flirted with. (notable episodes: “On the Head of a Pin,” “The French Mistake,” and my all-time favorite “The Man Who Would Be King”)

Robert “Bobo” Berens: writer from season 9, his first episode was “Heaven Can’t Wait,” which is all you really need to know about his influence on the deancas storyline. He’s also gay, so people particularly enjoy seeing how he approaches destiel in his episodes since it’s not just another straight guy potentially just catering to fans. He was also the one who was meant to go off and run Wayward Sisters, and is responsible for a lot of their development in recent seasons. I believe he also created Rowena? He wrote the episode this season where Cas confesses his love to Dean (along with other heavy deancas episodes like “The Trap”). Sam fans typically don’t like him because he doesn’t give him much focus. (notable episodes: “Heaven Can’t Wait,” “Who We Are,” “Wayward Sisters” with Andrew Dabb)

Steve Yockey: writer from season 12 through the beginning of season 15. Also gay, and also responsible for deancas moments in recent years. Generally loved for his deancas subtext but ALSO because he is an amazing writer who came out with iconic episodes. (notable episodes: “Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox,” “Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets,” “Peace of Mind” with Meghan Fitzmartin)

Robbie Thompson: writer from seasons 7 through 11, and wrote some fan favorite episodes in the meantime. He is also the creator of fan favorite characters like Charlie and Eileen. He was also one of the few writers who was vocally supportive of destiel during his tenure rather than just later. I’m not implying anything about his intentions, but it was validating for him to encourage fans during a time where most of the cast/crew ignored or actively dismissed it. Plus his episodes are just fun! (notable episodes: “LARP and the Real Girl,” “Fan Fiction,” “Baby”)

Meredith Glynn: writer since season 12, has worked closely with Bobo during their seasons together. She and Bobo cowrote “The Future,” which is the mixtape episode, so she has been taken in by deancas fans haha. She also wrote the episode where Cas makes the deal with the Empty, so it’s pretty safe to say she and Bobo had worked on the deancas plotline together :) She’s also liked some deancas-related tweets on twitter, so she’s being subtly supportive (notable episodes: “Regarding Dean,” “The Future” with Robert Berens, “Byzantium”)

Davy Perez: writer since season 12 (a lot of the ones I’ve mentioned are, since this is when Dabb became showrunner and made changes in the writers room). His episodes tend to either be horror or bizarre. I mention him because he’s responsible for episodes like “Stuck in the Middle (With You)” (Cas’ first “I love you”) and “Tombstone” (aka Brokebacknatural lmao). I don’t know much about him otherwise, but that’s why he’s brought up usually (notable episodes: “Stuck in the Middle (With You),” “Tombstone,” “Atomic Monsters”)

hopefully this helps, and hopefully I didn’t forget about anyone major. There have been a LOT of people behind the scenes so it’s hard to say who to include. Like, I didn’t mention Jerry Wanek, Jim Michaels, Kim Manners, Thomas J. Wright, or others who might be mentioned from time to time.

#Anonymous #long post

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butwhatifidothis · 3 years

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Watching Chris Hackney’s BL playthrough has made me realise why I have problem with Edelgard’s claim that the people are weak for relying on the faith/Church. Well, I don’t know, maybe it’s because their rulers are shitty and the government is too crappy for them to rely on?

Like, look at the entire Remire Village massacre again. Remire is in the Empire territory. Disregarding the fact that the entire tragedy happened because of their own fucking crown princess who decided this was a good location for her cronies to do their biological weapon experiments, did the Empire or Edelgard do anything to help her people living in her territory?

We know they don’t provide medical aid for their citizens, for one, because it is Manuela and Shamir who have been investigating this mysterious disease and it is the Church staff discussing how to end this “plague”. We also know they don’t have a safety net for these homeless people, because it’s the Church who takes these people in and helps them get back on their feet as they have, quoted, no where else to go. Even the orphans are taken care of by the Church and not their own government, where their taxes go to. Dorothea starved in almost her entire childhood in the slums when Edelgard’s father was still in power! This shows her father literally did nothing to help his citizens and all he was interested in was power grabs with the other nobles. All in all, the social welfare in the Empire, in a word, is just simply terrible.

The Church is also the one responsible for the peacekeeping in Fodlan or at least Adrestia too. To start with, the students at the Officer Academy and the Knights of Seiros are the ones deployed to handle the Remire Tragedy. Next, it’s the Church the people go for help when they are invaded by the pirates who pretend to be Almyrans instead of their own lords (that’s in the Alliance though). Then, it’s the Church instead of the Imperial government that hunts down Kostas’ gang - bandits active in Remire aka the Empire territory. Last but not least, the literal Crown Princess and the Regent of the Empire are willing to set loose a serial murderer on their people to give Jeritza a hunting ground just because she wants a good general for her conquest. Ah, and don’t forget nothing was done by the Imperial government to repel the Dagda invasion until the other Great noble families banded together to throw the Dagda army out.

The justice system in the Empire sucks too. From Caspar’s support we learn the punishment for theft is death and it is implied the Empire lets their criminals torn to shreds by beasts for entertainment. The Imperial government also arrests and executes people without any evidence or trial just because their princess says so. Usually even in a coup you have to make up some excuses to sentence your enemies. Remember even Henry the Eighth had to accuse Anne Boleyn of adultery and witchcraft in order to have her executed even though he was the head of state and church at the time? Did Edelgard and Hubert do anything of the sort before they imprison Duke Aegir, kill Marquis Vestra and arrest Count Varley? Let’s not forget Edelgard’s father killed off the entire House of Hrym and went over his jurisdiction to punish House Ordelia, a foreign noble house that happened to be one of the leaders of their government. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t ever want to be an Empire citizen.

I don’t know, maybe if the Imperial government wasn’t so incompetent and didn’t treat their citizens like trash, their citizens wouldn’t have to go to the Church for help? Maybe, I don’t know, if Edelgard and her government would do their actual fucking job and rule instead of throwing countless lives away and squandering all their resources on a senseless war that stemmed purely from nationalism and not actual political gain, then her “weak” people wouldn’t have to rely on the Church to pick them up every single time when they are having a hard time.

You laid it out perfectly really lol like, people in the fandom like to kinda hype up Adrestia as this forward thinking nation among the three of them because look they rejected religion! They have most of the LGBT characters (they'll never let you forget Mercedes came from the Empire so she counts too)! They have a female heir! When in reality the Empire is fuckin' garbage man like holy shit.

The only other female Adrestian noble in BE? One with a Crest that's supposed to give her Uber Privilege? And a family that's never said to be on the decline? Her father drills into her that she has to find a husband or she has no worth. Their only true commoner is never given any recognition for any of the work she does - and is the only one treated like this among the BE class. Petra is listed as a commoner despite being a whole ass princess because of her status as a political hostage. They give nobility to a house that's literal sole and only purpose is to do the dirty work for the Emperor - they aren't even granted land to own for their work.

Like you said, the heir to Adrestia doesn't care enough about her citizens to make an attempt to look after them after her allies fucked them over. And like, I'm not asking for the world or anything, she's not the official leader yet and there's only so much she can do... but she did nothing. Didn't mention anything about helping them in the future either, unless you nebulously count "I'm totally helping the people with my war guys" as also including people she one way or another helped in mutating and/or killing. Nah she's too busy getting mad at Byleth for thinking that Remire is revolting during the battle (I do believe in the JPN ver. she says something else? sorry I can't remember what exactly, just note I'm talking about the ENG ver. when making this point), among all the other things you've already listed

Like, of the three nations it's kinda obvious that the Kingdom is definitionally doing worse, at the moment, but at default? Adrestia sucks ass

#ask #anon #anti edelgard #anti-edelgard #edelgard discourse #edelgard critical #just to be safe #like wow is Adrestia bad #I'd never wanna live there either

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indecisive-behaviors · 3 years

Text

Originally I was just going to add this as a reblog to my previous post about the parking lot scene in KK2 but it’s almost 2k words so now it’s getting it’s own post. Be forewarned- this is fucking long.

TW for discussion of PTSD, child abuse, neglect, injury, and death, in relation to topics surrounding the show, under the cut-

Obviously, Cobra Kai is a show based around the premise of “what happened to that Lawrence kid after he got kicked in the face?”, which is honestly a pretty cool idea for a show. Johnny’s story is never explained past sitting on the sidewalk with his head in his hands at the tournament, and there are no real context clue’s to figure out what may or may not have happened.

In the show we get to learn early on that Johnny’s life spiraled after the tournament, going from bad to worse to “holy shit how are you still alive”-dropping out/never going to college, working jobs he seems to hate, becoming an alcoholic, presumably many dead end relationships, and not being there for his kid. And yeah, obviously, this would be a hard pill to swallow for anyone watching the show if Johnny had just lost the tournament. If we never got the scene in KK2, he would have just been some kid who lost a tournament- we see at the end of the first movie that(through tears holy shit Billy) that Johnny is the one who gives the trophy to Daniel with his famous line, “You’re alright, LaRusso.” There’s a level of grudging respect in that moment that isn’t lost on anyone who sees that movie- that Johnny, who throughout the movie only sees Daniel as some whimpy kid, gets proven wrong and respects that. If we didn’t have that scene, there’s reason to believe Johnny would have apologized, tried to make amends, Something, even if it was just being less of a dick at school.

But then, we get the parking lot. We get a far off shot, intended to distance you from the scene, framed over Daniel’s shoulder. This makes sense, Daniel is the main character, the protagonist, the underdog hero- why wouldn’t it be framed in his perspective? But the scene is about Johnny. We get the shouting match, the back and forth- “No, you’re the loser man.”- and again it’s fairly obvious how Johnny sees this situation. This is a man who we assume(and is later confirmed) to be a surrogate father figure, who set his friend up for failure, and then basically forced him to do the same by targeting an injured opponent, and forcing him to fight without honor. This same man presumably follows a teenager out to the parking lot, to harass him, to tell him he’s off the team, to tell him he’s a loser, that he’s nothing.

But at that point, Johnny knows the truth, even if subconsciously. At the end of the day Johnny knows that Daniel LaRusso was a worthy opponent, and that regardless of the cheating and manipulation, Daniel could have won anyway, and did win, despite of it.

And then Kreese grabs him, too fast to react to, Johnny too surprised even knowing that Kreese is the bad guy here, not believing that he would ever willingly hurt him- and Johnny isn’t strong enough to fight him off, none of the boys are, so Johnny is forced to suffocate for almost a full 30 seconds(which I double checked for the record- also as a reference, 30 seconds is about the average time it takes for a person voluntarily holding their breath to pass out- this does not account for the oxygen lost during a struggle, and the lack of preparation from both surprise and panic. The only silver lining here is the fact that Kreese was most likely compressing his windpipe, not his jugular, which would have made him pass out in about 5-10 seconds, and would have caused permanent brain damage or death in about 15).

Now, PTSD is a complex thing. I’m not a psychiatrist, and what small amount of information we have is all we have to work off of, but I feel fairly comfortable in saying Johnny mostly likely developed it after the incident. This not an uncommon take in the fandom as far as I’m aware either. But, if we assume this, we also have to assume that after the fact nothing would have been done about this. Not just in the sense that we still don’t really know everything that happened right after the tournament, but that in the early 80s, PTSD wasn’t really a thing yet.

Sure it was absolutely a condition that existed, but Post Traumatic Stress Disorder wasn’t even added to the DSM-III until 1980- and for a long time afterward, was only seen as a condition that affected primarily war vets. Even after an event as traumatic as having a man you considered a father trying to kill you, in public, without remorse, would not have been seen as something to warrant the diagnoses, let alone treatment.

Johnny Lawrence was 17 when Kreese tried to kill him, and this boy would have been offered no resources beyond filing charges with the police. And as we see in KK3, either this didn’t happen either, or someone(presumably Silver) got the charges dropped. So on top of almost being murdered, Johnny had to live with the fact that the man who did that to him was still out there, and to top it off, still ran a dojo at least for a few months after the event. The only relief he could have gotten is after Kreese faked his death.

And sure, Mr Miyagi may have gotten Kreese to let go eventually, but as several people have pointed out in comments and tags, left him and the other boys alone with Kreese still standing there in the parking lot and just... drove off. Kreese has already been established to be a psycho with no problem hurting children, a little bit of glass might not have prevented him from trying again.

So why did I talk about all of that? Because it all contributes to why Daniel LaRusso works as a credible antagonist in season 1 of Cobra Kai.

Think about this- Johnny blames losing everything on Daniel in season 1, but we specifically get a shot in KK1 and later KK2(”You’re alright, LaRusso” and “I did my best” come to mind) where he seems to be at least mostly accepting of the fact that he lost(with what was actually an illegal kick but that’s a rant for another time). So why does he blame him for everything 30 years later?

Because 30 years later, Johnny is forced to go outside, go to work, and pretend like he doesn’t see what feels like every street corner(including right outside his apartment mind you), a literal billboard sized reminder of what happened to him.

The rest of this is mostly speculation but it makes sense in my head so bear with me.

When we get introduced to Robby, it’s made pretty clear that Johnny has not been in his life for a bit. In season 2 we get Johnny’s heart to heart with Miguel, where he divulges that he missed the birth, because he spiraled after his mom’s death. This however doesn’t suggest that he stayed gone, especially knowing that it wasn’t long enough for Robby to not consider seeking out his dad. Because tacked up to the fridge, is a picture of Robby in his soccer uniform as a kid. It’s an early detail you can see in previous episodes, and says a lot about how Robby grew up. To be fair, this could have been given to him by Shannon, and not taken himself, but it’s the sport Robby’s playing that makes me question this. KK1 dedicates an entire scene to Johnny being on the soccer team in high school. Soccer, while maybe not as important to him as karate, is still part of his character. Robby does not know karate in season 1, Johnny obviously didn’t share it with him, but that doesn’t mean Johnny didn’t share anything with him.

So Johnny’s back in his kids life, maybe doing better for himself, maybe cutting back on the drinking. LaRusso Auto is already established to exist at this point but it’s in Encino, a place Johnny has no reason to go to, and probably doesn’t want to. He’s trying again and things are okay. But Robby knows enough about Daniel to know that going to him will piss off his dad. So Johnny had to have talked about him at some point. The billboards here are what’s important- they’re in the first episode, the first scene montage, Johnny draws a dick on one of them as some petty revenge.

The first billboard goes up in the late 2000s to mid 2010s. Johnny sees it, maybe he has Robby with him at the time, maybe he goes home and says something there, but he says something in a way that sticks with even a child as being important. More billboards go up. Dealerships starting popping up more and more. Daniel’s face, and by extension, the memories, the flashbacks, become inescapable. Johnny, for a third time, spirals again. Before he even knows what’s happening, he’s lost his relationship with his son. And it’s all Daniel’s fault. Of course Daniel doesn’t do it deliberately, but the constant reminders are enough to send him back into a tailspin and Johnny blames him for it.

Because it’s Daniel who is a constant reminder of his failures- it’s Daniel who caused him to lose the tournament and almost get killed, Daniel who put up the billboards that trigger his flashbacks, it’s always Daniel Daniel Daniel.

And then Johnny gets it in his head that he wants to be better. He opens a dojo, teaches Miguel and the other kids, wants to try again- and he almost succeeds.

Johnny up to this point has not deliberately antagonized Daniel in any way. Sure he named the dojo Cobra Kai, but Cobra Kai is all he knows. Besides Johnny doesn’t blame karate for his failures, his best memories are Cobra Kai and he’s trying to be better than Kreese. So what’s the harm in this really? His building is in Reseda, there’s no reason for Daniel to ever be there, he doesn’t do it out of spite, it’s because he lives there and rent is cheap. He doesn’t know about KK3, doesn’t know about Daniel’s own trauma. This isn’t an attack. Johnny sincerely just doesn’t know.

Enter Daniel, stage left. Daniel makes no attempt to talk to him- he simply makes demands and accusations, before he starts making active attempts to put him out of business.

Sure, we as the audience know Daniel has good reasons to not want Cobra Kai back. But Johnny doesn’t. All Johnny knows is that the kid he picked on in high school- who won, who got everything Johnny wanted, who grew up to be successful, has a wonderful wife, two kids who love him, a thriving business- is doing everything he can to make his life hell 30 years after the fact.

And this could only have happened because in 1986 John G. Avildsen decided to add in a scene meant for the original movie into the sequel, for absolutely no fucking reason.

#meta analysis #ranting about cobra kai cuz I can #johnny lawrence #daniel larusso #cobra kai #karate kid #I will never get over the fact that that was an actual scene that they filmed #and then got no resolution #FOR 30 YEARS #I apologize to everyone for this post #obviously I have a lot of feelings about this

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pwnyta · 2 years

Note

Idk if you have ever watched Katekyo hitman Reborn, but I was part of the fandom even before the anime boomed (it’s like… 2010-11-ish, I think?I was a little younger than MCs, so around 11-12 yo and now I am 20+) and I remember out of all characters liking Tsuna (mc) the best, even tho he was a loser and wasn’t really all that cool… and I still remember how anime boomed bc the artstyle changed significantly in the later arcs and suddenly all characters started to look really hot.

And god how much I’ve hated it! Bc suddenly there was shit ton of people who were actively thirsting for all of those characters but also there were A LOT of people who were hating on Tsuna, and I really, REALLY disliked it :)))) Idk maybe I’ve really related to the fact that he was a normal guy just thrown into the world of mafia and crazy people out of nowhere, in a way that I also experienced a lot of bullshit I didn’t want to be a part of back then(but no one asked my opinion obv).

For that reason I really disliked the fact that so many people have joined KHR bc characters were hot… it rubbed me the wrong way and I think I also didn’t really like majority of the cast all that much? Characters like Hibari seemed to be just hot and crazy without any personality outside of it. I wouldn’t say that my years in the fandom were miserable, but it sucked to constantly hear that your fav character is annoying and dumb…

………..

…And then I’ve decided to rewatch the show a lot of years later :’))))) AND GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I AM SO FUCKING PISSED.

I don’t even know how to say it… but after I’ve rewatched KHR I’ve realized that majority of the characters I’ve disliked are actually pretty cool and I love their personalities and little quirks, and as for Tsuna… holy fucking shit he takes the medal for literally not changing AT ALL. Like, at first everything was fine, but then I’ve realized that he legitimately practically didn’t change from the very first episode. Then again, I don’t know if you’ve watched it but anime have ended on the arc where Tsuna and his friends literally have saved SEVERAL WORLDS (it makes sense in the context I swear) and then in next arc (two last arc weren’t animated) he was beaten up by fucking SCHOOL BULLIES… bruh wtf… I mean, sure, he was beaten up while trying to help another person to get out of troubles (which he probably would have never done in the beginning of the story) but I still can’t get over the fact that so many chapters/arcs later he is unable to defend himself…

What I am trying to say is that is an extremely shitty feeling to return to the franchise you love just to find out that your fave sucks ass practically didn’t change from start to finish, while a lot of other characters get a lot of growth and actually CHANGE. I’m so salty about it you have no idea :))))))

Reborn was THE fandom for me back when it was pretty popular!

I dont remember Tsuna being hated all that much but as always I mostly stay on the fringe of fandom because I know how people can be. But yeah... I do know the KHR fandom was one that you just wanted to avoid due to its size which is usually true for most fandoms.

Hibari (who I actually liked), the guy who looked like he was from Black Butler, and Gokudera... as is typical of fandoms of kind of douchey characters... a lot of the fans were also douchey and probably insist that the characters who were nice were too boring because they werent assholes.

I disagree with you that Tsuna sucked, he did largely stay the same but he was fun and funny. I enjoyed his rapport with the most of the cast and even though he had his typical Shonen protag vibe... like I just didnt expect him to NOT be that. He filled the roll he was made for. Gokudera was the loud jag that bitched about everything, Yamamoto was the clueless powerhouse that just was cool with all the crazy shit happening around him, Hibari... had a deranged love for his school for some reason, Tsuna was the power of friendship good boy who did his best even though he was a fucking idiot...

You were not wrong or dumb for liking Tsuna he was a sweet, idiot boy with the power of frienship! Dont feel influenced by the shittiest parts of fandom just because Tsuna wasnt MEGA deep. He doesnt need to be, he was a fine protag in a shonen series that was largely there just for fun. There was mafia babies, there was a bitch who kept poisoning her brother, a guy who couldnt function unless he saw his boys, an infant who shot himself with a bazooka when he was upset, a little baby that didnt have ears and you think its just a stylistic choice until theres a story involving her bad eyesight in which they get her glasses but she cant wear them because she doesnt have ears! ...

It was never that deep.

Tsuna didnt have to be anything more than he was to carry the series. People need everything to be like top tier and mega nuanced and shit... and its so boring... Just have fun with a series...

Like you dont expect Hocus Pocus to be that deep... the characters have a pretty predictable not that EXTREME change throughout but no one cares because its a fun movie. Do I wanna watch Citizen Kane? Or do I wanna watch Hocus Pocus for the millionth time?

FUCKIN HOCUS POCUS. Citizen Kane is fucking boring.. I wanna have fun.

Thats all Im saying sometimes a series is Hocus Pocus... you know what I mean?

-Signed a mega fan of Yamamoto and Ryohei the two dumbest mother fuckers in the series.

#Dear Nonny.

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therealtsk · 3 years

Note

tsk i’m DYING to hear your play-by-play on which worm characters have dumb fanon interpretations

UH OH YOU JUST OPENED THE FLOODGATES so the short answer is pretty much every major character but I am a high-effort bitch so let's do this: Taylor Hebert: jfc, I could probably hit a word count limit talking about Taylor alone. First you have the dumb as shit TINO (Taylor In Name Only) phenomenon where people just straight up SI as Taylor but pretend it's her and she's basically a different person wearing Taylor's skin like an ill-fitting suit. Then there's the Memetic Escalator Taylor interpretation where Taylor's Warlord era characterization is flanderized so hard that she turns into her world's version of Doomguy where her response to literally everything is ultra violence, mutilation and torture and she can totally beat up anyone you guys hahah coin sock goes brrrrr you go brutalize those totally deserving victims queen. And then there's shy, stuttering, soft spoken "useless lesbian" Taylor which is not as common but still, fuckin straight men and the way they infantize gay women. Taylor is perhaps the most consistently inconsistent characterization I've seen in fandom, it's fucking wild Lisa Wilbourn: Has two fanon settings. Taylor's best friend who exists solely to give exposition and get the "Stop Coil" subplot rolling (occasional gay subtext will be added in a way that feels fetishy) Or, the evil bitchy blonde who is first target of the SI. I constantly wonder if the people who write the frankly masturbatory SI's are aware that we can tell they're still bitter about girls not dating them in highschool. Brian: basically does not exist in fic aside from the occasional joke cause racism and also because of how popular wlw ships are in Worm fandom. you deserve better dude Alec: has a few token appearances in wormfic fandom that usually have him as the comic relief alongside Aisha, which might actually be for the best considering he's a rapist and the Worm fandom's uhhhh tendencies. Moving on- Aisha: prankster girl that alt!Taylor will adopt as a younger sibling. hopefully is not part of the totally-not-a-harem considering she's even younger then the rest of these teens Bitch: Another girl to fall into alt!Taylor's definitely-not-a-harem, but with more butch tendencies. Basically has no personality in fanon outside of her dogs Parian: SHE DOESN'T HAVE A SHOP FFS also another member of Taylor's totally-not-a-harem Flechette: yeah it's a harem Sophia: holy shit you think Brian's bad? The racism in pretty much every fanon depiction of Sophia is off the charts. Hyper-violent, super edgy, "predator/prey" speech inbound, will get humilated/killed in some new, supposedly satisfying but actually just deeply uncomfortable way, probably throw in some E88 shit too just because Emma: again, do the writers know we can tell they're still malding over the fact that the pretty girls in highschool didn't date them? fanon emma is pretty much a cardboard cut out of whoever was mean to the author. something something bitches three Madison: in fanon has a C53 fetish, occasionally is also Browbeat. don't ask why Victoria: gets hit with the blonde stereotypes even harder then Lisa, "Collateral Damage Barbie" is one of the phrases that activates my flight or fight responses. she basically is an entirely different character in fanon. bubbly dumb blonde girl with a massive temper and well other sexist bullshiit Amy: I hate even touching this character with a ten foot pole but basically is hit with the "soft useless lesbian" trope hard enough to make her into a completely separate person from her canon self. whether or not this is a good thing is still up for debate Carol: in fanon, an evil bitch who exists solely to bully Amy Mark: who? The rest of New Wave: cannon fodder for Leviathan Danny Hebert: literally stale milk instead of a personality, will probably die before the fic is over but we won't care because the author did not care either Armsmaster: hahaha robotman go brrrr or is an arrogant self-aggrandizing shit, can't interact with people without Dragon helping him 24/7 Miss Militia: fanon bat'd into team mom,

idk where this came from considering her first instinct upon seeing children is to pull out a gun holy shit wait is she actually Taylor's true mom- Velocity: canon fodder for levi Battery & Assault: sitcom wife, sitcom husband! please ignore how fucked up this relationship is if you look at it for more than two seconds Dauntless: haha armsy is JEALOUS also cannon fodder for levi Triumph: who? The BB wards in general tend to be incredibly bland, the only ones who have fanon personalities of note are Clockblocker and Vista. The former being such a huge prankster that every other line is a joke- or him complaining about how BULLSHIT Alt!Taylor's powers are. Vista is an angry kiddo who says that Shadow Stalker doesn't count as being a girl on the team The E88: no personality for any of them except that Kaiser is noble and really isn't that bad and also Purity did nothing wrong totally she's just a hot mom trying to do her best, please ignore how she exclusively targets characters of color and literally calls white criminals more civilized than miniorities- the worm fandom has something of a nazi problem i hate it here The ABB: racism and honorable samurai lung even though that has no canon basis so again, racist stereotypes The Slaughterhouse 9: This one makes me just as sad as the Lisa shit because dear god this is such a good cast of villains that fanon completely flattens to bowling pins for the Alt!Taylor of the week to mow down, why does this fandom suck so much. Anyway Jack is just the Joker, Crawler is masochistic, etc i'm moving on now The PRT/Protectorate as a whole: They are an evil paramilitary organization that pressgangs kids into signing up to become child soldiers, and somehow at the same time, they are a bunch of idiots who listen to the PR department and have stupid things like RULES that prevent capes from COMMITTING VIOLENCE. Being called "the biggest gang of all" is common and some shit like "at least the criminals are honest" is a likely statement. Cauldron: whoo boy this one really boils my blood but fanon Cauldron are just a bunch of evil idiots who can't even tie their shoelaces. basically a bunch of dudebros are upset that women run the world and that two of them essentially have "I win" powers so they have to make them lose to their SI- er, Taylor in fics so they can assuage their masculinity, which totally isn't pathetic Scion: Is at once the end all be all of worm you can't write a wormfic without scion or else it's TOTALLY MEANINGLESS because what is the point of a story if all the characters are going to DIE in a few years anyway, and at the same time is incredibly easy to defeat- this ties into how Cauldron is stupid. Scion Truthers pls shut up and go read something else okay I think that's everyone I would apologize but the only thing I'm sorry for is how messy this is

#Worm #Parahumans #Worm Fanfic #Worm Fanon #if you can't tell #I'm a little annoyed with the worm fanfic fandom #dear SI writers stop being such creeps #and nazis pls fucking leave we don't want you here go away

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concussed-to-pieces · 4 years

Text

Of Gorgons And Gardens

Fandom(s) : The Mandalorian and Prospect [2018]

Pairing: The Mandalorian [Din Djarin]/Reader/Ezra

Rating: Holy shit uh. Explicit.

AN: That's right. I've done it. It's time for the sex pollen. This is a standalone that's not involved with either of my previous tales related to these fine boys, so we have a Death Watch-raised Mando that takes the Creed incredibly seriously and an Ezra that's well armed. Also I apologize for the constant viewpoint switches. Enjoy!

Tag List: @huliabitch @hardcorewwetrash @helplessly-nonstop @lackofhonor @oloreaa @theocatkov @jackierey09 @zombiexbody @crookedmoonsaultpunk @pedrosbigdorkenergy @absurdthirst @culturalrebel

[!TRIGGER WARNING!: For obligatory dubious consent due to sex pollen, as well as threesome activities, breeding kink and gratuitous bodily fluids. Stay safe!]

The quarry was named Ezra. Not that their name mattered, the chain code was freshly generated. The strangest part was that there had been no image attached to the puck.

Din had tipped his helmet to the side, narrowing his eyes and tapping the bounty puck curiously. "Somethin' wrong with this?"

Karga shook his head. "No, he's just too slick for us to have any holorecords on him. Somebody from Bakhroma wants him alive."

Undocumented quarry was exceptionally rare, and not usually something that one requested a Mandalorian for. It indicated green prey, a first-time offender. "Bakhroma, huh? Pretty far out." He wasn't an idiot. There had to be a reason why Karga had offered him this one specifically.

"Guy apparently walked off with a majority of someone's aurelac pull. Typical floater squabble, but one of them ponied up the mining points for credits and asked for a certified, card-carryin' Mando." Karga had leaned back in the booth. "How's the kid?"

Din had just grunted noncommittally in reply, gloved fingers scooping the puck off the table. "I have to get back to the Crest."

…

"The target has been on Bakhroma relatively recently. Not sure if he was in the Green or not, but either way he'll probably be a walking biohazard." Mando muttered, turning his head towards you. "So you're staying put."

"Until something happens to you and I have to pull you out of the fire again." You retorted with a smirk.

"Hey, that was one time." You knew he was narrowing his eyes, though you weren't quite sure how you knew. Something about the way he tilted his head ever so slightly to the right clued you in.

"You were full of nexu quills."

"One. Time." The Mandalorian growled. "I even said thank you."

"You sure did," You replied, laughing. "Right before you passed out!"

He palmed over the side of your head roughly. "Brat." His grumble was fond, softening the edge of the insult. "Promise me you'll stay on the Crest, Senaar, otherwise I'll ask Omera to take you and the kid for an extended sleepover."

"Fine, I promise." You relented, huffing in annoyance.

He tinkered with his charts for a moment, then tilted his head again. "Where did you go earlier? I got done with Karga hours ago. Couldn't find you."

You stiffened, abruptly absorbed in checking the fuel levels. "Oh you know. Around." You said breezily.

"Well in the future, when you feel like going around, at least let me know so I don't think you've been abducted." Mando grumbled, folding his arms over his chest.

"Aw, you're cute when you care!" You cooed, making him scoff and return to his control panel.

…

In hindsight, he wasn't sure what he was more pissed off about. The fact that this Ezra character had led him on a wild fucking chase over half of a suspiciously verdant moon, or the fact that his brain had apparently decided to shift into overdrive regarding you. He couldn't get you off…

Get you off his mind, that is. Stars, he was so confused.

He felt like he had been walking in circles for hours, the only noise the steady beep of the tracker. He was too hot. Thirsty. His armor was chafing like it never had before; it was less like an extension of his body and more like a too-tight skin he needed to shed. Din finally bent over, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath.

"You look like shit," drawled an unfamiliar voice while a set of knuckles rapped on the back of his helmet. Djarin jerked upright and immediately staggered, fumbling to grip a tree trunk for support. His vision swam uncertainly, and he blinked several times in an effort to clear it.

The man in front of him was clad in a utilitarian suit that bore an unfamiliar logo, maybe a mining corporation. No duraplast or durasteel visible, no unnecessary frills, old-fashioned rubber gaskets to seal where glove met sleeve. Din's gaze traveled upwards, past the man's chest to his large domed helmet. He kept his motions deliberate. He had been caught off-guard by this man, but he wouldn't--

What?!

"I'll assume you're encroaching upon my solitude to haul my undesirable personage back into civilized spaces?" The man inquired after Din had taken several long seconds to try and understand what he was seeing. "For monetary compensation, if I had to hazard a guess. There are few lures that tempt a man so far out into the uncharted."

Why does he have my face? Sure, the scars were different. Different facial hair, different hairstyle, and a wild little tuft of blond sprang from amidst the dark locks at his hairline. But it was him. Same brown eyes, same nose, same mouth curving into an infuriatingly benign smirk. Djarin was struck with the sudden urge to punch him, his belly writhing.

"I take it the dust has you firm in its grip. A real pity, that. I'd love to sympathize, but regrettably I am at an advanced state of the same condition." The quarry gestured at his right arm, where a bloodstain blooming on the fabric of his suit indicated a loss of the integrity of said suit. "I'm Ezra, though I'm certain you're already well aware. And you?"

"Irrelevant." Din grated out, clumsy fingers fumbling to get his binders off his belt.

"A man of action, excellent! I shall acquiesce, but only because being removed from this Centaurian mass is infinitely better than being confined to it." Ezra replied with a sage nod, extending his wrists. "Whither to, my recalcitrant steerforth?"

"Be quiet." The Mandalorian grunted, his mind still reeling. How does he have my face? Then, a new, far more troubling thought occurred to him.

If he turned Ezra in, people would inadvertently know what he looked like. They wouldn't know, but they would know. What would that mean for him? For his dedication to the Creed? Did things like that count against him? Had something like this ever happened before?

"Tell me you, at the bare minimum, have functional transport?" Ezra asked after Din had relieved him of his blaster, sounding hopeful. It was so strange hearing his own voice with such an odd, imprecise cadence to it. The Mandalorian had worked for years to improve his Basic so that anyone and everyone would be able to understand him through the coarse modulator, though he still ended up sounding hitchy or curt most of the time.

"How else would I have gotten here?" Din snapped, gesturing the other man forward with the encouragement of his own weapon.

At least now he knew how to get back to the Crest, thank the Maker for his helmet and the tracking protocols he had. Now, observing his previous path of forward motion, he realized with a jolt how much it wound back and forth. He had been walking in circles.

Since when did he lose his sense of direction? Even in unknown territory, he usually had a damn good idea of which end was up. That concerned him.

And on top of everything else, Ezra wouldn't shut the hell up.

"Be quiet." Din muttered for what seemed like the thousandth time. How long had they been walking? Probably his own fault. With how much his head was spinning, he didn't dare deviate from the winding trail he had left. Even if a straight path would have been miles quicker.

Ezra continued to drone, "a toilsome marathon of carnage, I assure-"

"I said, be fucking quiet."

The target huffed out a breath, but obliged Djarin's terse demand for the moment. Din's head was pounding, his already short fuse shrinking with every word out of the talkative man's mouth. Was this the Maker's hysterically ironic way of compensating for how little a solitary Mandalorian would speak? Making a doppelganger that was ceaselessly chatty?

Din talked a lot more these days, between you and the kid. Maker, you. His head swam again and a low, guilty heat throbbed in his belly. You talking to him, the way your mouth moved around your words-

No. No, stop, he told himself sternly, two fingers sliding idly between the gasket and gorget at his throat just so he could breathe a little easier. This planet's air felt thick, like breathing through tar.

"I would not indulge that craving, were I you." Ezra spoke up, the man obviously watching him claw at his neck. "The less exposure you have, the better."

Din wanted to snap at him because honestly how many times do I have to say shut the fuck up-

But then he stopped. Since when did he even do things like breach the seal of his own fucking helmet on an unfamiliar planet?! He flinched, tearing his hand away and hating the low, wry chuckle that issued from the quarry. The other man mused, "It's already too late for me, you know. I imagine I'll have an hour, perhaps two."

"What the hell are you talking about now."

"The dust, my armored associate. It permeates. Sludges the mental processes." Ezra shrugged with only one shoulder. "Among other things."

"How do you know so much about it?" Din gritted his teeth against the buzzing pain in his stomach. "Seems pretty stupid of you to hide out here." Especially if you know the flora is deadly.

"There is naught to do on a freighter slingback aside from read." Ezra's eyes narrowed. "And I could hardly pick and choose which moon my pod decided to give out on, you monosyllabic knuckle-dragger."

"Watch your mouth before I break it." Din snarled.

"Lo and behold, he comprehends! I assumed all you knew how to say was a stagnant variation on the theme of be fucking quiet." Ezra retorted with enraging cheer.

Din's gloves creaked with the tension of his fists and he barely kept from slamming them into his temples. They were almost to the Crest. Almost. Once they got there, he would throw this mouthy nerf herder into the carbonite and…

And what? And turn him over? And inadvertently compromise his whole identity, possibly destroy decades of loyally obeying the Creed?

All the deprivation, the loneliness, the weakness of his own heart...

"Be fucking quiet." The Mandalorian muttered, knowing full well that the other man hadn't said anything. Be fucking quiet. Be fucking quiet quiet quiet just fucking be quiet--

Din ground the heels of his palms against the curve of his helmet at his forehead, praying for some kind of relief.

Carbonite, he reminded himself.

…

Ezra grudgingly held his tongue, which even he had to admit was a rarity. Unlike the other floaters that had approached him before and met their swift demise, this particular bounty hunter was heavily kitted. The gleaming plate he sported didn't seem to hinder his motion in the slightest.

Interesting.

Ezra knew when he had been outplayed, and he would be lying if he said he wasn't banking on the other man having a functional ship even before he decided to go peacefully.

The hunter (mentally dubbed Steerforth, he rudely had not introduced himself) obviously had no idea about the pollen, for all his outward preparedness. Clearly Serpentia was not as well known as Ezra had wished.

Regrettable.

He could hope that the bounty hunter hadn't been exposed, he mused. After all, the man was wearing that positively arresting helmet, and his suit seemed of a sturdy (if unfamiliar) weave. Here was an individual that Ezra would have to tread carefully around, if he wished to escape with his life.

His faith waned a bit as he recalled watching the man 'track' him, winding back and forth through the trees like a drunken mule until Ezra had taken pity on him and turned himself in.

The hunter was terse in his speech, likely weary from the chase. Ezra could sympathize, he was weary from running. It had almost been a relief when that last hunter had attacked him and forced him to crash the pod on this moon. Though his relief had quickly turned to dismay when Ezra had done a full turn outside his pod and realized just what was making all the pollen in the air.

Serpentia, Serpent's Tongue. He had never encountered the plant in the proverbial flesh, but once upon a time he had been accidentally doused with the extract when a holding tank had burst while he was on a job site.

His skin crawled as he remembered the torment that followed during his solitary confinement. He had been nigh-certain he would not recover, clawing free of the haze that had gripped him with the barest vestiges of his mental faculties.

This moon's Serpentia population seemed infinitely kinder than the concentrate he had encountered, if only for its soft, creeping approach. It lapped at the base of his brain, dulled the edge of his panic until he was nearly comfortable with the ache that licked hot in his groin.

But thank Kevva for this bounty hunter lumbering through the brush! With a little luck, Ezra would be able to persuade him to accept a few pearls of aurelac in lieu of dragging him back to face that greatly-exaggerated justice.

...

According to the limited information from the Crest's scans, the air on this moon was perfectly safe to breathe.

And if what Mando had said was right, he probably would need the ship to himself for a little while to decontaminate. So you had posted up beside the ramp once he had departed, occasionally wiping the sweat off your brow. The atmosphere was humid and you watched as breezes too delicate for you to even feel nudged the thick pollen in the air this way and that.

The moon was liberally coated with lush vegetation; just finding a place to safely land the Razor Crest had been a Herculean effort. You wondered vaguely if there was a lake or spring nearby that you would be able to cool off in. The ship's fresher was functional, of course, but its water had been sitting in the holding tank for a few cycles now and it smelled rusty.

The pollen covered everything, orange-red substance sticking to your already-damp skin. You grimaced, wondering if maybe you should have put on your suit. But no, the atmosphere was safe. The scans had said so, and you already spent so much of your time in your thick suit…

The sunshine felt wonderful after all the hyperspace travel, like a warm embrace from a friend. You caught yourself wondering what Mando's hug might feel like. Probably uncomfortable, what with all the beskar. You scoffed at your thoughts. You really needed to stop thinking about him like that, he was technically your boss even if he called you his partner. So what if he had passed out on top of you? That had been an infection thing.

It wasn't as if he had stroked your cheek before he dropped, his voice breaking when he called you Senaar...

So what if you had solicited not one, but two Mandalorians during your last stop on Nevarro?

It wasn't as if he noticed anything that you did, aside from when it had inconvenienced him. It wasn't as if you couldn't handle your little infatuation with him, even if it did result in you seeking out Mandos that would give you attention.

You propped your chin up on your hand, your eyes half-focusing on the dust floating in the air. It was nice to just relax for once, though there was a little guilty sensation in your stomach. Because Mando was out there working, while you...were lounging around, soaking up the sunlight.

You weren't sure how long you sat there, but you finally got up with a groan and a stretch that felt heavenly. You would investigate the surrounding area, you decided, maybe you could rustle up something fresh. If you couldn't be active on the hunt for the quarry, you could at least restock the larders.

After what only felt like a few steps, you quickly stumbled across thick vines that bore an unfamiliar, violet-hued fruit. The fruit was the size of your fist, and the skin had slight give to it. Light-colored flowers dotted the vine here and there, their tiny stamens crested with heavy crowns of thick pollen. Clearly you had located one of the many sources of the dust that choked the air.

You picked one of the fruits and propped it up on a flat rock, using your trusty field knife to slice it open. It had orange pulp inside it, and a small hollow in the middle filled with pinkish fluid. The whole fruit reminded you of a sunset. Dimly, you thought that you probably shouldn't be touching this fruit with your bare skin, on the off chance that it might be caustic or toxic. But it looked delicious.

Surely just a little taste wouldn't hurt?

The pinkish fluid was almost overwhelmingly sweet, and sticky. It dribbled down your chin when you tipped the fruit to slurp it up. You laughed at yourself, tugging your tunic to scrub at your face.

Mando will love these.

You weren't sure where the thought came from, but obviously it was true. The idea of Mando being alone, slipping off his helmet to eat...the juice from the fruit glistening on his mouth…

Your breathing had quickened. You carefully harvested more of the round fruit, tucking the ripe produce into the makeshift cradle of your tunic. Once you decided you had enough, you turned on your heel and went to make your way back to the Crest.

...

No.

No no no no no-

Din stared at the partially-ajar ramp on the Crest and he wanted to yell.

"Oh dear." Ezra murmured faintly. "What a predicament." He had been getting quieter and quieter the closer they drew to the ship, so hearing him talk again sent a jolt down Din's spine. "You left your egress open? How careless of you."

"I didn't." Din snarled, wrapping his fingers around the binders on Ezra's wrists. You. The throbbing in his stomach lurched.

Ezra's eyes widened and he abruptly planted his feet. Din hadn't realized just how off-kilter he was, normally something like a shift in weight wouldn't be enough to make him stagger. But he almost toppled, barely getting his balance back in time. "Is there someone else on that ship?" Ezra asked sharply.

"Of course." Din didn't even think to lie. "Partner."

"Would they have wandered? Exposed themselves?" The prospector-thief-quarry continued to quiz him and Din resented it just a little.

"Be quiet," He grunted, tapping at his gauntlet to open the ramp, "and get in the fucking hold."

Ezra abruptly drew himself up to his full height. "I do not believe you actually want me to do that." He intoned with difficulty, his teeth gritted. "Putting myself, yourself and the potential of one more infected person into an enclosed space is a very…" His words faltered. "Oh."

Din whirled, visor traveling up the ramp into the dim hold. And just barely visible at the edge of the ramp, a small pile of what looked like fruit--was that your leg?! He lunged forward, his blaster ready.

"I would not advise you to approach them!" Ezra barked.

"Fuck you!" Din snapped, striding up the ramp to kneel alongside your body. He crushed one of the fruits beneath his knee, lurid pink juice erupting to soak into his suit. The color was high in your cheeks, your body blotchy with flush. Pollen encrusted your neck and shoulders, drifted through your hair; something pink and shiny coated your lips like a strange gloss.

Din caught himself leaning in and jerked back at the urgency in Ezra's voice when the prospector called, "Do they breathe, man?"

"Be quiet!" Djarin roared. Why hadn't he checked that first? What was wrong with him? He shoved his vambrace against your mouth, his chest clenching in relief when your breath fogged the metal. Stars.

"I'm afraid this complicates things quite significantly." Ezra said loudly, fidgeting at the base of the ramp. "I was unaware you had a partner of the...other biological persuasion. Had it just been you and I, two masculine-presenting bipeds, things would have been miles simpler."

"What the hell are you saying now?" Din was getting tired of this shit, tired of listening to the other man talk.

"This plant is...shall we say, heteronormative." Ezra drawled, waving his bound hands in the air to illustrate the cloying pollen. Din cocked his head in confusion. "You know, masculine and feminine? Male and female? Different. Hetero."

Djarin scoffed derisively. "My people don't care about that shit."

"A noble practice to be certain, very forward-thinking."

"This is the Way." The Mandalorian replied.

Ezra soldiered on, "Unfortunately, the plant that infests this planet does indeed differentiate. Fruit for the female, pollen for the male." He added hurriedly, "in the biological sense, of course! I will not make any assumptions about your partner. The fruit is a...a catalyst. Are you familiar with the old-Earth religious writings, the ones that mention the Garden? Or perhaps the Greek pantheon may have been more your style?" When Djarin shook his head, Ezra sighed. "The genus name in Basic is slippin' my mind. But this particular iteration is known as Serpent's Tongue, Serpentia. It is Medusine in nature and it inspires feelings of…" Ezra paused, licking his lips nervously. "Heat."

"Heat." Din repeated blankly, knowing that he must be missing something.

Ezra ducked his head, breaking eye contact. "As in, being in heat." The man clarified after a moment.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm-"

"Excuse me?" Din snarled, running his fingers through the juices that coated his knee. It was thick, sticky like syrup, why was it warm--He bolted to his feet and stalked back down the ramp. Ezra took a step back, and then another, the quarry obviously wary of him. Good. The satisfied feeling took some of the edge off his frustrated panic. "So what the hell is wrong with my partner?" Din grated out.

"Er, to couch it in layman's terms…" Ezra hesitated, clearing his throat. "They are aroused."

Aroused. Aroused. Aroused. "Sexually?" Din hated the way the word came out, all breathy like he was a youngling that had just learned about the wonders of copulation.

Ezra nodded, grimacing. "From the sound of your tone, I would hazard a guess that the two of you have not been intimate."

"Why would we have been?" Din retorted bluntly.

Ezra raised an eyebrow, seeming as if he was avoiding looking at you. Good. Mine. Din had no idea where the hell that thought came from. "Oh of course, I was foolish to assume so blatantly." The prospector muttered. "That does complicate your own matters further, however. Were you previously sexually intertwined, this would have been much more simple." He suddenly doubled over at the waist, a loud grunt forced from his mouth and a low exclamation of, "fuck, fuck-"

The curse sent a hot flicker down Din's spine and it took him a second to realize that you had made a noise in reply. You sounded dazed, scared. He whirled on the ramp and knelt again, taking your hand. "Senaar, you coming around?" Your eyes looked...wrong, blinking open slowly; your pupils were blown like you'd been spiced.

You stared up at him for several long seconds before your mouth opened. "Wanted to make lunch." You managed to say. "I don't feel good."

"Well, you don't look so great either." Din said gruffly.

"Bastard." You groaned at him, trying to sit up. "Maker, I feel so hot, I...oh! Oh no, you smushed one." You appeared to have noticed the remains of the sticky fruit currently seeping into his knee. "I wanted you to try it. Tastes...tastes...it's so sweet Mando, s'like candy." You saying his name (even if it wasn't his actual name, shit) was like a lightning bolt to his groin. You dragged your hand over his knee, gathering up the remnants of the fruit and then sliding your fingers into your mouth.

You brought him food. His lungs felt too full and not full enough. Stars, the idea of you feeding him that, smearing it all over his mouth with those pretty little fingers-

No, the helmet. The helmet. He couldn't take off the helmet. The Creed.

He jerked his head up, looking to Ezra. The other man was still doubled over, holding his midsection as best as he could with his hands bound.

A dark, uncharacteristically evil thought wound its way into Din's mind, sweet and smokey like a good ne'tra gal. "Get in the ship." He grunted. Ezra glanced up and Din was a little startled by the level of emotion he displayed. He wasn't used to seeing expressions play out on his own face. The other man seemed wildly uncomfortable and Din found that grounding, for whatever reason.

"I do not dare to." Ezra panted finally. "Just being this close is...immensely troubling. I am not the master of my own body at this moment, Steerforth."

"Is this the target?" You asked softly. Din nodded and he could almost feel your eyes raking over the other man. "What happened? He's hurt."

Shit, he had nearly forgotten. Ezra was still bleeding from his arm. The quarry had obviously forgotten as well, clearly dealing with a much more pressing matter.

You beckoned to the other man and Din had to rein in the knee-jerk reaction to grab his blaster as Ezra reluctantly approached. He had never been territorial about you before, what the hell was the matter with him?

Ezra halted a good five feet away from you, keeping his head down. "I am Ezra. I apologize in advance for my untoward behavior." He muttered, his voice gone so low and gravelly he actually did sound like Din. The Mandalorian's stomach pitched uncertainly. "I am not myself at this point in time."

"What happened to your arm?" Your tone was warm, concerned. Din's fists clenched. "Did Mando do that?"

"Oh, no! Of course not. Your compatriot has been nothing if not a complete gentleman." Ezra replied wryly. "I sustained this injury during a previous floater's quarrel."

…

You hummed and you saw Mando stiffen up out of the corner of your eye. What was wrong with him? One second he had been leaning over you, all worry and hand holding. The next, he was barking at the quarry.

And the quarry was hurt. Ezra, Ezra, his slow drawl making your head swim and your chest tingle. Never mind Mando, what was wrong with you? You felt so strange, like you were hyper-fixated.

Maker, maybe you shouldn't have eaten that fruit. "I'm sorry." You apologized to Mando, your lower lip beginning to quiver. "I just wanted to give-"

"Be quiet." He ordered, his voice startlingly gentle. A gloved thumb pressed to your lower lip and you stared up at him, opening your mouth automatically even though you knew he was just wiping the juice away. You were startled when he slid his thumb into your mouth, but you obligingly cleaned the juice from the leather with your tongue. Shouldn't this be strange? But Mando just did it, like it was normal. Maybe it was normal.

Your mind flew back to your sultry encounter on Nevarro, how you had occupied yourself while Mando wrapped up his business with the Guild, and warmth lanced through your stomach as you recalled greedy gloved hands grasping and caressing your bare skin-

"Steerforth, if you are to carry on in that heated demonstration I must plead for the carbonite treatment that you were so hellbent on throwing myself into earlier." Ezra sounded like he was in pain. "I have only endured this once before and it was a torment that threatened my already-tenuous sanity. Have fucking mercy man, I implore-"

"Be quiet." Mando snapped, "we have to treat your arm, right?"

"Fuck." Ezra swore again, the sound writhing through your belly. "Hurry then."

"Get in the ship. I'll turn on the filters."

"Do not leave me alone with them, I implore you!" Ezra cried, that domed helmet finally tilting enough for you to catch a glimpse of his face. "I am not the master of my own body, Steerforth."

His eyes were dark, impossibly dark, and frantic as he argued with Mando. His skin seemed tanned or olive through the sun-struck dome of his suit's helmet. Short brown hair was plastered flat to his forehead with sweat, and the lower half of his face was coated in a somewhat unkempt mess of facial scruff. Too long to be five o'clock shadow, but too bedraggled to be dubbed anything else.

Roguish, you decided, wanting to laugh at yourself. He looks roguish. What a ridiculous thought to have! Not obviously dangerous like Mando, but still dangerous. Was that your heartbeat throbbing in your ears? You sighed softly, taking a step towards the other man without meaning to.

Mando's hand was suddenly on your arm. "Hold it. Treatment. We have to treat his wound." He said gruffly.

You nodded. Of course. Who knew what he had been exposed to through the breach in his suit? "I was going to help him walk?"

Mando shook his head. "You get the kit. You've got no gear on. He's contaminated." He reasoned. "Get me the kit and then seal yourself into the cockpit so we can filter the hold." You nodded again and his hand found your cheek, gloved fingers grazing your neck before he jerked back. "S...Sorry." he apologized.

"It's okay." You whispered.

…

Ezra, helmet discarded and suit stripped to the waist, flinched away from Din's touch yet again. "Stop. This is a bad wound. It'll get infected if I do this wrong." Din snapped. He rarely encountered blaster wounds that didn't self-cauterize, even though that tended to come with its own set of problems.

"I do not mean to tear free." Ezra protested. "Blood flow has increased. I am…" He paused, biting his lower lip. "Sensitive. Surely you have a handheld? One of the burners? Just burn it shut man, Kevva, I cannot even endure the graze of your fingers."

"If I give you a burner patch, it'll seal in the infection." Din reasoned, flushing the wound again. "Focus on something else."

"I cannot." Ezra said sharply. "There is only one matter my brain currently wishes to focus on, and it is not the dire straits of my wounded arm."

"Them?" Din asked, keeping his voice low.

Ezra shot him a guilty look from beneath his sweat-matted fringe of brown hair, finally nodding. "It is ludicrous, but I feel as though I can taste them." He confessed. "Gods, I wish I had never landed on this accursed moon. I wish I had never encountered the Serpentia."

"What will happen?" Din did his best to maintain his vocal level as he bandaged the other man's wound.

"Arousal. Sheer, unadulterated arousal. You ache, like the worst fever you've ever had. I've heard it is even more excruciatin' for those of the other human biological persuasion, due to their genitals being internal. Though it is Medusine in nature, so it has a...failsafe, of sorts. You are seized with the primal instinct to mate, conquer, claim. It does not stop until you have buried your...until you have sheathed yourself in an orifice." Ezra was gasping for air. Obviously just talking about it was enough to cause him distress, either that or Djarin was being rougher than he thought. "Steerforth please, I-"

"This will cause them pain?" Din asked slowly.

Ezra nodded jerkily. "I have been told it's like a sickly, stabbing heat. Fingers are not enough to…er, extinguish the flames." His cheeks flushed. "The tongue soothes, but not overlong. Internals require certain length, and...rigidity." Din didn't miss the way his eyes flickered down to the beskar that covered his upper thighs. "When last I encountered this damned flora, I suffered the effects alone and I felt as if I would go mad."

Tongue. Fingers. Rigidity. Din's mind reeled. "Specifics." He gritted out, his body awash with heat in his armor when Ezra made a pitiful noise.

"Kevva, have mercy on me Steerforth."

"I said. Specifics." Din fisted a glove in the other man's hair, tilting his head back and forcing him to look up. Ezra moved, albeit reluctantly, the Adam's apple of his throat bobbing when he swallowed. "Specifics." Din repeated himself, a little softer this time.

Ezra shuddered all over. "They will seek you out. To be fucked." He said, cringing a bit as if he disliked using the word. "You must open them up with your tongue first, dissolve the Medusine barrier with saliva. That's the failsafe, you see, an individual of that biological persuasion who is suffering cannot be penetrated without tender effort. Ease into it and perhaps they will not loathe you when this madness has run its course-"

"I can't." Din interrupted.

"What?" Ezra gawked at him.

"I can't. T-Tongue. Not allowed. Forbidden." Din felt like he was drunk. "Helmet."

The other man's brow furrowed. "You can, I presume, take off other portions of your plate?"

Din shook his head, wishing that he could explain it better. "Technically yes, but it's frowned upon. Exceptions happen. And under no circumstances can I take the helmet off."

"How in the Fringe have you ever-"

"I...inspire feelings in people." That was probably the most delicate way he could have said I cater exclusively to bipeds with a predator/prey fetish. Din grimaced. "I'm large and imposing. Usually that's...enough. No need for warm up." He said awkwardly. "Armor stays on."

"What a bewildering existence!" Ezra tilted his head in disbelief. "So you have never removed…?"

Din shook his head. "Not in the presence of others. The Creed forbids it."

"Your dedication is admirable, but unfortunately it leaves your partner twisting in the wind." The quarry pointed out. "I would offer my services, but I am an unknown and-"

"Yes." Din gritted out, that dark thought slithering back through his mind.

"Yes?"

"Your services." Din took a deep breath. He didn't bargain with quarry, but this man had his face. He couldn't turn him in without jeopardizing everything he had sworn his life to. "In exchange, when this is...when they no longer require your services, I'll let you go."

Ezra's eyebrows bunched together. "I'm afraid I don't follow, Steerforth."

"I don't want them to be in pain." Din's voice grated in his throat and he watched Ezra's eyes widen in comprehension. "I don't want them to hurt."

"You...this is not just the Serpentia. You have a prior attachment to them."

"It doesn't matter what I do or don't have." Djarin muttered dismissively. "Because of the Creed, I...I can't. But you can."

"You can't give them your mouth, certainly, but there are-"

"If it's what makes it possible, you have to do it!" Din interjected sharply. "I don't want them to hurt."

"I need you to comprehend what you're askin' of me!" Ezra shot back, his bound fists clenched tight enough to whiten his knuckles. "They don't know me from Job, and you're all but demanding I violate their trust-"

"I don't want them to hurt!" Din roared, startling himself with his own furious reaction. Whatever else he was about to say was cut off by your staggering descent on the ladder. You looked unwell. Ezra skittered back a few steps, falling on his ass with a muffled swear.

"Mando?" Your voice wavered and you swayed at the ladder. Din lurched forward, tucking you into his arms as you sniffled, "I don't feel so good. I think I'm sick." You were radiating heat that he could feel even through his suit. Your tunic was soaked with sweat.

"Osi'kyr." Din cursed under his breath after he swapped to his infrared and saw just how brilliant your signature was. "Listen to me, alright Senaar?" He murmured, simultaneously loving and hating the way you nodded in a docile manner. "We know what can fix this. But it's not…" he paused, searching for the right term.

"Appropriate." Ezra supplied loudly.

"I feel awful." Your whimper made Din's stomach ache. His cock rubbed against the confines of his compression leggings.

Ignore it.

"I know you do." Din pressed his palm to your forehead. "Listen to me. We can fix this. You trust me, right?" Your nod was immediate and Din barely stifled his groan. "Ezra knows what's wrong. Ezra can help."

"He can help?" You echoed blearily, looking past Din. "Okay. He said something about the fruit before, right? I shouldn't have eaten it. M'sorry. Was it poison?"

"Poison may have been simpler to endure." Ezra muttered. "It is an aphrodisiac. Do not blame yourself. The fruit is visually appealing for a reason, otherwise the plant would not be able to propagate."

…

Aphrodisiac. Your mouth was flooded with that sweet taste at the sound of Ezra's drawling voice, the groan that followed burrowing into your blood.

You had never felt this way before. Your body ached and twisted, arousal pooling uncomfortably in your pelvis. Everything felt like it was trapped, your tunic sticking to your skin with sweat. Aphrodisiac.

"Please pay attention." Ezra sighed. "I understand this is incredibly distracting, but I have a limited window of coherence." He was trembling slightly, still avoiding your eyes. "Your partner has requested I aid you where he cannot. I will not harm you." He said with gravity. "This is a situation which bodes exceptionally poorly and I am...I am truly sorry for dragging you into this mess."

"Oh, it's okay. Mando gets me into messes all the time." You brushed off his apology and Ezra choked out a bitter laugh.

"I fear you may change your tune once the pain truly starts." He remarked.

"He says it'll hurt." Mando murmured. "Like stabbing."

You knew your eyes widened with fear because Mando was quick to envelope you in his arms again. He had never been this touchy before. It was...strangely nice. The coolness of his armor felt wonderful on your skin and you moaned in relief. Mando went stiff at your noise, his gloved fingers clutching the nape of your neck. Up until this point, you had just felt some minor throbbing. Distracting, but negligible.

This was different.

...

Your breath hitched in your throat and your fists curled into his suit, knees buckling as a low, wavering cry left your lips. Din jerked at the sound. He had never heard you make that kind of noise before, not even when you had been shot--

Oh he was fucked. He was so fucked. Was he excited or terrified? "Easy, you're okay, you're okay," he soothed, clumsily brushing the hair back from your face. Who was he even trying to convince?!

"Make your choice expediently, Steerforth. Am I to be thrown in carbonite or put to work?" Ezra queried through gritted teeth.

"You know I would never do anything to hurt you." Din said to you, ignoring the other man for the moment. "I won't let anything happen to you. I need you to trust me for right now, alright? We can fix this."

Your grip on him tightened even further. "I don't like how this feels." You whispered.

Din closed his eyes in a futile attempt to ward off his own self-loathing, pressing your cheek against his breastplate. "I know, Senaar. I'll be right here with you. I just...can't give you what you'll need." He stuttered, offering on a desperate whim, "I-I can hold you, if you want." You nodded frantically into his armor.

"If you have a...a blanket. A sheet. Something for the floor, we are going to make a mess and I am uncertain if we will be able to protect your partner's modesty." Ezra muttered, his bound hands resting surreptitiously over his groin. "They may be more enthusiastic than one would anticipate."

Din patted your elbow, trying to gentle his voice. "Go get your pillow."

"O-Okay." You gulped.

Din tore into one of his many lockers once you released him, the armored man frantically digging around for his extra bedding. Ezra staggered to his feet, moving in close to Din. So that you wouldn't hear him speak, no doubt.

"There is still time for you to freeze me, Steerforth. I am not a man without morality, tattered though it may be." He murmured, and Din noticed that his weary brown eyes were surrounded by the same deep lines and cracks that Djarin's own face sported. The Mandalorian hadn't ever paid much mind to just how many expressions he still made beneath the helmet, probably because he knew no one would see them.

Din grabbed the other man's shoulder, searching those eyes. Ezra stared at his impenetrable visor, probably confused by his silence. "I need your help." Din rasped seriously. He didn't trust this guy as far as he could throw him, but he could live with the uneasy truce if it would…if it meant that he could…

Stars, this was all so damn wrong.

Ezra finally nodded. "I will do my best to assist with the...emotional aftermath. This is not your fault, or theirs. This is merely an unfortunate side effect of a hazardous occupation."

"Thank you."

Ezra's eyebrows shot up, but other than that he gave no indication of his surprise. Din elbowed him to the side, unfolding the thick blanket and spreading it out carefully on the floor of the hold.

…

This was certainly an odd predicament.

Ezra could not say he had ever been in such a charged scenario, despite his checkered history. His jaw worked thoughtfully as he watched the armored man devote an obscene amount of care to smoothing the wrinkles out of his blanket.

Arousal swirled around him like the thick pollen outside, but it was tempered by the terrible memory of that singular past experience where he had rubbed himself bloody on the inside of his suit. He knew he was worse off than Steerforth. No, what had you called him? Mando.

Curious.

A Creed that prevented the devout from showing the world their face.

Curious. And familiar, somehow. Ezra spooled his mind back, trying to recall why it was familiar. He couldn't focus however, his own breathing becoming too distracting.

Mando hadn't gotten nearly as much of the pollen as him. The other man seemed unbearably, impossibly calm in the light of what was about to occur. Maybe it was an illusion afforded by that unreadable helm, or brought about by his lack of prior experience.

Ezra was wildly jealous all the same. "What is their name?" He asked softly.

Mando fixed him with a look and Kevva, that helmet was indeed imposing. "I call them Senaar. It...it means bird." He sounded reluctant, like he didn't even want to give up that much. "Names are sacred in the Creed. I couldn't give them mine so they didn't give me theirs, but I had to call them something."

"No names in the Creed, either?" Ezra asked incredulously.

The armored man shook his head. "To outsiders we are all Mando. To us, we are Mando'ade. This is the Way."

"A veritable legion of nameless, featureless warriors." Ezra muttered, mainly to himself. He rattled his restraints after a moment. "Am I to remain bound during this frotfest, Steerforth?"

"I'm not stupid enough to give you free range. Be grateful I didn't secure them behind your back instead." Mando snarked.

"I will not harm your little bird." Ezra protested.

"I know." Mando leaned in slightly, broad shoulders made even more intimidating by the blue-steel pauldrons that graced them. "I would kill you before you got the chance."

Oh, such confidence! Ezra wished he was in his right mind, he would obliterate this smug cretin--

His breath caught in his throat as you returned from your excursion. Gods, he had nearly forgotten what he was being called to do. He warred with the obscene urge that dragged his gaze to the crux of your thighs. "A divine sight." He murmured, not lying for once. This entire day had been remarkably truthful.

You actually gave him a ribald wink, and that eased his conscience slightly. Perhaps you were not the unsullied, blushing virgin he had feared you might be. Obviously you had used the time you took to grab your pillow wisely, maybe even given yourself a bit of a pep talk.

"Have you done this before?" Ezra asked, half-joking. He heard Mando audibly gulp in that damn bucket when you nodded, a pained smile curving your lips. "Not under the effects of such altering substances, I pray?"

"Nah, nothing like that." You replied, shaking your head. "It was back on Nevarro, I-"

"Nevarro?" Mando hissed. "You disappeared on me for hours. That's what you were up to?!"

You shrugged weakly. "It doesn't really matter but...there were two Mandalorians, and I wanted, um, something that seemed familiar, I guess." You admitted, your tone remarkably cool for the subject matter.

Ezra hid his grin. He was hardly immune to the allure of saucy gossip, and there was nothing quite like gossip that had no particular bearing on him. "Two?!" The armored man's voice squeaked even through the thick modulation and Ezra burst out laughing, the binders knocking his jaw when he tried to stifle his mirth.

"I meant more whether you had engaged in copulation in general, but I suppose that would have been a pertinent question as well." He mused once he got himself under control, the low buzz in his stomach blossoming into an excited thrum. "How fortunate that you would be so generous when it comes to your partners, little bird."

"What do you mean, familiar?" Mando carried on over him, obviously agitated by the fresh knowledge that his partner may or may not have some...tendencies. Ezra almost wanted to laugh again; you were nothing if not painfully transparent. Seeking out others like the armored man to have their way with you? Clearly you harbored some sort of affection, kept secret and safe by the walls that humans build around themselves.

But Serpentia had a funny way of sliding that dastardly pink slick through all defenses, leaving the body raw and exposed.

"I mean familiar." You replied, your pillow like a shield between yourself and Mando. Ezra settled back to watch the show, well aware that his smirk was probably insufferable. "I have needs, you know." You continued primly.

Mando's fists clenched on his thighs before he pointedly flattened them back out, fingers dragging over the plates. "I...I'm sorry. I shouldn't...I'm sorry." He mumbled, patting his leg.

You wavered again and nearly fell. The armored man caught you, settling you down with a cautious tenderness that fired a thrower shot of arousal directly into Ezra's gut. He had always been a weak fool for chivalry, though he was able to display precious little of it in his own life. Oh, this was the best kind of story.

...

Your face burned with embarrassment; why had you told him about your rendezvous with two other members of his Creed? It was like the words just fell out of your mouth, like your brain itself was against you.

You could still remember the way the larger one had pressed his forehead to your own and then encouraged you down his chest to his groin, the way his helmet had tipped back--

A new flood of warmth swept into your cunt and you bit down on your hand to stifle your noise at the pain that followed. Mando paused, then laid your pillow between his open legs. "Lay down on your back." He muttered, patting his leg again. "This way you can see me. I'll be right here."

"I'm-"

"Don't apologize, please." Mando cut you off. "Once this is over, once everything is...over, I...listen, we'll operate as a sealed unit. This maneuver is scrubbed from the start. I never found the quarry. Nothing that we say or do here will ever be mentioned again. Understood?"

Your breath caught in your throat. He was giving you an out. Or himself, you were uncertain. You nodded slowly and his shoulders drooped a little, but whether he was relieved or disappointed…

Well, some secrets were meant to stay that way.

Ezra nodded his own agreement. "It is best to have certain protocol already in place when engaging in uncharted waters." He muttered. "Decidedly militant, but I must surmise your Creed taught you that."

"This is the Way." Mando said firmly.

"If we are operating under burner infantry orders, then I must voice my trepidation about this engagement," Ezra confessed to you. "I have endured this crisis once before and it was not a pleasant experience. I do not envy the pain I am certain you feel at this moment, but I also know that you are in a...compromised and sensitive position. I...if any advance is unwanted, I trust you will inform me. And if I do not respond, if I am too far gone, please have your associate rescind my invitation." He gestured at Mando with his bound hands.

"Wh-What are you going to do to me?" You asked, your voice high in your ears even as you let Mando maneuver you down to the blanket.

"I am going to do for you what your companion cannot, little bird." Ezra's tongue dampened his lips nervously. "And only that, if I understand the situation correctly."

"What he…" you trailed off as a thought occurred to you. Ezra hummed quietly as if to confirm and the sound reverberated through your core, making you whine and squirm restlessly. "Oh, what, stars, you mean-"

"My mouth, little bird." He had a tiny section of blond hair on the right side of his head, the tuft residing rakishly just at his hairline. You hadn't noticed until now, but the whimsical little patch seemed to soften his stern features. "You will need the saliva, regrettably. I am certain that the idea of the mouth of a lowly aurelac harvester on you is a repulsive one, but it is the only way to get the proverbial ball rolling."

"Wait, you have to eat me out?" You asked in confusion, trying to get back up. "Hang on, I should shower, I'll-" Agony raked down your spine and you spasmed, a breathy sound of pain forcing itself past your lips.

Ezra's incredulous chuckle soothed the sensation back down to a manageable level. "What an unexpected offer, little bird! I cannot recall the last time someone bathed specifically for me. You will wholly ensnare me if you continue such considerate behavior."

…

Din's body felt like it was on fire in his armor.

You had gone looking for people like him.

You had gone looking for Mandos because you wanted familiarity. The idea of you sussing out more of his brothers or sisters because you had needs-

Din wasn't sure if he would survive this particular encounter. He was gripping his cuisses so tightly that the leather of his gloves burned against his fingertips. Mandalorians weren't celibate by any stretch of the imagination, but the Creed could make things...more difficult than they needed to be for a variety of species.

Ezra, despite his hands being bound, was remarkably capable. The man had coached you through the pain when you had tried to move, his voice obviously helping you somehow. Djarin wasn't sure if he was jealous or grateful. Maybe both.

The fact that this was causing you to suffer had him loathing how stiff his cock was in his compression leggings, even though from what he had gathered he couldn't actually help that particular reaction.

"I must beg your assistance in disrobing." Ezra was saying softly, tugging at the overly-knotted waistband of your loose pants. "Please, little bird."

"Right, yeah, of course." You mumbled and Djarin could hear the pain in your voice, could feel the twitchy little flinches as you tried to follow Ezra's directions.

Hesitantly, the Mandalorian moved his hands up until they rested on your shoulders. You exhaled a breathy little moan, nuzzling your cheek against his glove in what he had to assume was thanks.

"Better." You gasped, seeming more sure as you struggled to undo the sash at your waist.

"Well done, Steerforth." Ezra praised, causing something warm and wet to pour into Din's abdomen. The armored man's breathing stuttered, was this what Ezra had been feeling the entire time they had been walking? Stars, how had he even managed-

His cock lurched against the tight hold of his leggings, precome dampening his stomach. Without meaning to, Din's fingers tightened on your shoulders and he grunted quietly.

Your eyes shot up, locking with his visor. He knew you couldn't actually see him, but at that moment he felt exposed. "You alright?" You asked quietly, your breath hiccuping when Ezra brushed the stubble of his jaw against your naked thigh. Din ached to do that himself, Maker he wished-

"I'm fine." He choked, like he wasn't roasting alive from the double-edged heat of artificial arousal and jealousy. His left hand slid down, resting at the hollow of your throat. It soothed his ego a little to see that your eyes were still on him, despite what the quarry was about to do.

Ezra, he reminded himself. This man wasn't prey anymore, for all that he was keeping the binders on. Din at least needed that level of control. He needed the stability.

That recurrent devious thought surged forward again, dark and heady. Utilizing Ezra, he could indulge vicariously in the hazy desires he had fought for cycles. The wish to bury his face between your legs and eat you out until you cried, like in the raunchy imagecasts he picked up on rare occasion. Putting his bare hands on you, stars-

Din Djarin was a man of extreme self-control. So far, he hadn't overstepped or shamed the Creed, unless you counted the time he was loaded out of his mind with bacteria-laden quills. He hadn't realized just how many of them were embedded in his back until his vision started getting blurry as he was standing over the nexu's dead body. Served him right for letting the feline get the drop on him before he put his backplate on.

You had been so worried when he returned. You were patched into his coms so you obviously heard the struggle he had dispatching the creature. Heard how ragged his breath got and how hard he had to actually fight.

Din vaguely remembered flopping down on his belly with you hovering over him, pliers in one hand and bacta shot already buried in the meat of his shoulder. Stars, it was great to have a partner sometimes. If he had come back to just the kid like that, he'd probably be dead from an infection. You didn't even make him take off his suit, you just worked around it.

You ended up removing thirty-seven quills of various lengths, most of them bearing nasty hooked barbs. The pain had hit different because of the infection, leaving Djarin trembling boneless and silent on the floor of the hold while you wriggled quills out of his back. He had never felt more helpless, more vulnerable, beskar be damned.

"It's alright. I'm glad you made it back." You had said calmly. "I'm not letting you go alone next time, though."

"Thank you, Senaar…"

Din's face flushed when he recalled how badly his voice had cracked when saying the name he called you by, less speech and more a plaintive cry. The way his glove had slipped over the skin of your cheek, and how he had longed to remove that glove...

Maker, he sullied the Creed with his inability to reconcile over lack of touch. The hunger for skin-to-skin contact that reared its ugly head every time you were out of your heavy exosuit and durasteel served as a painful reminder, one much more poignant than the simple weight of his helm, that he was a Mandalorian.

But this doppelganger loophole was a gift to be thoroughly exploited and he wasn't about to waste that opportunity.

Ezra buried his face between your legs and Din felt the way your entire body coiled up in anticipation, another trembling cry leaving your lips and your hands twisting frantically into the blanket beneath you. "Mando-!"

His name, his name, you were saying his name even with another man's mouth giving you pleasure. Djarin couldn't help the satisfied little growl that left his lips and made its way through his modulator. He heard Ezra chuckle, the other man pausing to shoot him a sly wink over the length of your body. Din nearly laughed.

"Ezra," He said instead, his voice coming out rougher than he intended. "Make them cry."

He stopped caring about how wrong it was.

…

You gasped at Mando's words, already inches from bursting into tears. Ezra's mouth was slowly coaxing you open, the stubble on his cheeks and jaw rubbing your thighs. Every pass of his tongue, every gentle press and suckle sought to untangle the knotted ball of heat in your belly, but you were certain you would lose your mind before you managed to disperse the agonizing feeling.

You were too full, almost too aroused to handle Ezra's mouth on your cunt but you were positive if he stopped licking at you, you would die. Heat felt like it was sloshing in your belly, there was so much of it...

Ezra placed a series of delicate kisses on your clit, each one lighter than the last. His hands, still secure in their binders, clutched your right thigh for purchase when he pulled back to gulp air. His expression was dazed, eyes managing to focus on the armored man that loomed over you after several long seconds. "Will you not indulge, Steerforth?" He sounded like he was almost begging Mando, voicing what you couldn't bring yourself to say. "They ask for you, how can you sit there so damned impassive?"

Your breath caught in your throat when you heard Mando exhale raggedly, the bounty hunter muttering, "M' not impassive. There's nothing I-"

"Touch them, for fuck's sake!" Ezra cried, pointedly rattling his cuffs. "I cannot do both. We must work together!"

The Mandalorian lurched suddenly up onto his knees, then sprawled over your body, slamming one hand down to support his weight before wrapping his fingers in the neck of Ezra's tattered thermal shirt. "You don't call the shots here, quarry." He snarled in That Voice, the one that he reserved for his bounties.

Your hands crept up to his hips, hyper aware of the sweet taste in your mouth and how good this would feel.

…

Ezra stared at the pitch-black visor inches from his nose. Felt the strength in the gloved hand that threatened to do much more than stretch his shirt.

The prospector took a mental inventory of his body at this juncture, a bit surprised and entertained to find that he was thoroughly invested in this new direction the encounter had taken. Mando was no doubt glaring at him from the safety of that impregnable helm, the other man's hackles obviously raised by the jab from the prospector.

It mattered very little at this point in time, however, as Ezra heard a zipper fly open. Mando flinched so hard Ezra felt it in his back, and the sound you made was enough to get the devil to start sweating. "Seems that you may be outnumbered, Steerforth."

"Target rich--environment-" The armored man snarled. "Senaar, y-your--mouth, fuck-"

He stuttered. He stuttered. Ezra latched onto that weakness with a filthy grin, easily twisting out of the other man's grip to duck his head back down and taste you. Mando's other hand hit the blanket as you undulated your hips up to meet Ezra's mouth. Ezra could only imagine the noises you were making around the other man's cock. He knew you were making them by the way Mando's arms quivered. And wasn't that a sight, a man in full armor rendered helpless by the power of a warm, eager mouth on his cock.

"Watch me now, Steerforth." Ezra crooned, tilting his face up to make presumed eye contact. "This is how you make them weep with pleasure." He was sure that his chin was dripping pink at this point and he knew, even without seeing the other man's face, that Mando was barely hanging on. He had to salute the armored man's dedication. A less devout individual would have given out before they made it to the floor.

The Medusine barrier that the Serpentia formed was slowly weakening under the gentle assault of his mouth, Ezra was pleased to notice. Of course, he wasn't exactly rushing, simply going at a steady pace to keep your pain to a bare minimum. You had begun to leak around the barrier, your arousal even warmer than he had expected. Ezra couldn't tell whether it was because he was under the effects of the pollen or whether it was reality that you tasted immaculate, but he reasoned that it didn't particularly matter.

He was hungry enough to cope with either happenstance.

"Little bird, fuck my face, won't you?" He requested sweetly, chuckling at your enthusiastic response. "Grind yourself to completion on my tongue, break the barrier so that your associate can sheathe himself balls deep in this delectable pussy and give you respite."

...

"Fuck." Din rasped, his eyes wide behind the visor of his helmet. The way that Ezra spoke was like fucking music, the man wrapping filthy words in flowery, incomprehensible syntax.

The Mandalorian's fingers tangled resolutely in the blanket, the armored man panting as you urged his aching dick even further down your throat. Your hands grappled with his thighs, shoving them wider and then taking two hungry handfuls of his rear to encourage him.

"Senaar-" he started to warn you off, but stopped dead when you moaned around him. Stars, he wondered how you could even breathe--

You pulled back, coughing and gasping. "You're doing so well, little bird." Ezra murmured from between your legs. Your only reply was to take Din's cock back into your mouth and oh fuck you weren't stopping-

Your hand found Djarin's in the blankets and you tugged on it, forcing him to try and figure out how to redistribute his weight so you could have the appendage. He managed it of course, he was a fucking Mandalorian after all, but there was a moment where he nearly lost his balance.

You guided his hand to your neck and Din couldn't fight back the groan he let out when he felt his cock bulging through your throat. Fuck, no one had ever been able to take this much of him into their mouth before, halfway was usually the stopping point.

Djarin grunted and tilted his head down to watch you struggle, finally wrapping a hand around his cock and easing it back out of your mouth. Strands of saliva connected the engorged head of his dick to your lips. Din sighed stupidly at the sight, fisting his dick and coating his glove with your spit. "You're good at this, Senaar." He said gruffly, knowing that it wasn't really praise, not like how Ezra said it. But words had never been his forte.

"Keep speaking to them Steerforth, they leak at every word out of your mouth." Ezra encouraged from between your legs. "That's right little bird, just a bit more…"

Din was startled, to say the least. You liked when he talked? "I…" he hesitated, then his brow furrowed. "Can't wait to fuck you, Senaar." You whimpered, your hips shuddering. "Fuck you until you don't remember your own fucking name." Din growled. "Breed you like a good Mando should, pump you full of my come just like my Creed-siblings did, right?"

You nodded against his thigh, your sweat seeping through his flight suit to meet his own liberal perspiration. He was so hot, his armor had never been this hot--

"Kevva, that's a kink I didn't anticipate." Ezra panted, pink slick smeared all over his nose and chin. "They certainly like it though, if I understand correctly."

Din could smell you, smell the sweet scent of that fruit mixed with your own arousal. His fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of Ezra's neck and he nearly headbutted him on reflex, barely reining the power back in time. Ezra seemed confused at first, the other man obviously dazed with heat and just sort of allowing Djarin to shove his face against his helmet.

…

The helm was so cool, Ezra couldn't restrain a relieved sigh when he made contact. Mando appeared to be rubbing your essence all over his helmet, utilizing Ezra's face as a paintbrush. Unorthodox, but effective.

"Oh," Ezra realized, "you've got some sort of olfactory sensors in there, don't you. You lewd creature you!" He teased breathlessly. "If you think they smell sumptuous, I regret to inform you that their taste utterly puts that to shame." Words were heavy in his mouth, the prospector having to work harder and harder to put sentences together. It wouldn't be long before his senses wholly abandoned him, he was certain. "Release me, Steerforth, I must…I must carry out my end of the bargain." He groaned, struggling free. "We are almost at their climax."

Mando was nearly vibrating with anticipation, gloved fingers clawing at Ezra's hair. "Careful," was all the armored man said hoarsely.

Ezra nodded, once again touched by the bounty hunter's surprising display of consideration for his partner. "When the barrier breaks, they will need your cock immediately, Steerforth. I will...not be coherent for much longer." He mumbled against your cunt, giving up on speech after Mando nodded.

With one last sweep of his tongue, the barrier dissolved. You sobbed out, your voice breaking as you writhed beneath your large companion and bucked your hips up against Ezra's eager mouth. Slick fairly poured out of you, leaking down your thighs and soaking the blanket beneath you.

Ezra didn't remember wriggling his bound hands beneath your rear, simply returning to his senses with your legs over his shoulders and his lungs burning for air but you tasted so good, he felt raw with hunger.

Mando's gloved hand covered nearly the entirety of his face, easing him back from his feast. Ezra watched the other man's chest heave in a daze until he suddenly remembered what he was doing. "I apologize, I...I am too far gone." He murmured in contrition, lowering your hips back to the floor.

"Ask nicely to fuck their mouth." Mando ordered, his blunt words digging into Ezra's groin. "You said it hurt you last time because you were alone. You helped them not to hurt. If they don't want to let you to fuck their mouth though, I'll…" he hesitated, "I'll figure something else out. Nobody has to hurt."

"'Something else'?" Ezra repeated, stunned. What on earth could this armored man possibly be offering? Those gloves were remarkably soft, the leather worn smooth from a lifetime of use, no doubt- "Oh."

…

The pain had eased, only to be replaced by a searing emptiness. You squirmed beneath Mando, tangentially aware that he was engaged in a discussion with Ezra. Your hand flew to your pussy, the drenched area making an embarrassingly loud noise when you thrust two fingers into yourself in an effort to quell the ache.

"Maker, please, please, Mando!" you begged, barely aware of what you were saying. The heat concentrated in your pelvis was burning you alive, desperate tears pouring down your face.

Mando stood to his full height, towering over you, just watching you quiver while you pleaded deliriously. He fairly ambled around your body, moving until he stood between your spread legs. His boot shoved your ankle, opening you even further, exposing every inch of you and the mess that covered the blanket under you. "Senaar." The low burr of modulation made you rock your hips up, whimpering and nodding when he stroked his cock like he was showing off.

Somewhere, deep in your soul, you prayed that he liked what he saw even without the strange pollen instigating.

He knelt, gloved fingers curling beneath your chin to pull your eyes up from his thick, perfect cock and the puddle of precome it was currently weeping onto your pubic mound. His touch sent flickering trails of electricity through your body, and you could barely focus on what he was asking.

"Ezra...mouth?"

You nodded rapidly, making Mando bark out what could have been a laugh. He cupped your jaw again, and then his hand stroked your hair in a way that was almost tender.

"I'll make you feel better." He promised. Ezra was a mess, he looked like you felt. The quarry simply let Mando shove him down onto his knees, his eyes half-lidded. "Undo your suit." Mando ordered and Ezra shakily attempted to obey. He was having a difficult time with his hands still in the binders so you reached out, batting his hands away impatiently to unzip the lower portion of his exosuit.

His thermal leggings were threadbare like his shirt, the waffle-weave fabric soaked through. His cock visibly twitched when you exhaled sharply. "Do not tease me, little bird, I feel as if I am on death's doorstep." The man pleaded through his teeth, "I am raw and agony gnaws at my skin; please take me in your mouth."

"I have to get your pants off." You tried to explain, fumbling with the article of clothing. The noise of despair he made had you frantically clawing at the pants, finally dragging them down low enough that his cock was freed. It slapped against his belly and he moaned, bound hands digging helplessly into your hair.

"May I please have your mouth?" He requested raggedly. "I will not take it if you do not give it freely but please, little bird."

After he had worked so hard to get you to come? You were nodding hurriedly before he finished speaking, and his deep, drawn-out groan of relief was like music to your ears when you swallowed him down.

…

You were radiating warmth, your hips twitching and shifting restlessly even as you tried to get Ezra's dick out of his suit. Din had to hand it to the other man, he did ask nicely.

But there were much more pressing matters to attend to. Mainly, your neglected cunt that was currently leaking all over the underside of his cock. Djarin took a steadying breath, and then slowly sank himself into your waiting heat.

Your cry of relief was fucking primal, a hungry, feral snarl that slithered hot and seething in his stomach under the beskar plate. Din was wholly, entirely lost, finding himself mentally shattered at the first stroke into your body. Your thighs trembled on either side of his hips and then your legs fell open, like you didn't have the strength to hold them up.

Shit, he knew he should say something, he knew he should be reluctant about this, but it was like every cell of his body needed you to fucking survive.

Maybe he always had.

Din bared his teeth and growled back at you, his attention divided between watching you eagerly suck Ezra's cock and watching the way his own dick split you open. His passage was eased by the strange pink fluid that continued to ooze out of you, stars it was so hot-

Ezra's fingers tangled in your hair after a moment, the prospector cradling your head to his groin in a manner that could have almost been described as gentle.

"Is this how my Creed-siblings f-ucked you, Senaar?" Din's voice grated in his chest, the armored man barely aware of the heated words tumbling out of his mouth. "Filling you, claiming you, fucking your throat and pussy?"

"Kevva." Ezra breathed. "Your peculiar voice working in tandem with your cock appears to be the thing that turns them into a voracious harlot. I do not know if I have ever-" His sentence broke momentarily, "oh, fuck, very well little bird, take the whole of it then." He grunted, raking his fingers through your hair as you deepthroated him. "You are absolutely magnificent at that, you know." The other man praised shakily.

Your cunt fluttered around Djarin's cock and he felt your arousal soak through his suit, hot fluid sliding down to coat his balls. "Stars, did you just come?" He groaned, unable to stop the filthy noise he made when you whined around Ezra's dick and nodded as best as you could. His fingers gripped your thigh, digging into the skin as he began to rut against you. The Mandalorian threw his head back, panting, "Feel so fucking--good around me, fuck, Senaar, so good-"

…

You felt like you were falling apart again and again. The taste, the sensations, the curling knot of heat in your belly that released inch by inch. Mando's hand on your thigh and Ezra's grip on your head were the things that allowed you to hold on to your sanity, but only just.

Mando was conquering you utterly, his dick driving into you with enough force that you knew you would be aching later, but in the moment you never wanted him to stop. You had craved him, wished for him for so long, to finally have him was total bliss.

And Ezra, Ezra, his silky voice caressing your body as his bound hands carded through your hair. His cock choked you again and again and every time you had to pull back off of him for breath he praised you, talked about how good you were, how no one had ever taken him as deep as you…

You were in heaven.

Ezra abruptly retreated, his cock smearing more precome across your lips. "If you continue on in this manner I will be undone, little bird." He muttered. "Your one-sided assault, while inescapably delicious, is rendering me wholly base. You wish for me to spill my seed on your face?" His hips twitched. "Or shall I fuck my come down your throat, request that you swallow every drop?"

"Fuck it into them." Mando rasped before you could say anything in reply, a gloved hand grabbing your chin. "Fuck your load i-into that sweet little mouth of theirs. Give them what they fucking need, quarry." He demanded, and you nearly came again from how unhinged he sounded.

"Well, little bird?" Ezra asked softly, his eyes dark with want. "Shall I take my pleasure from your lewd little mouth and let your beautiful throat milk me dry?"

"Please!" You begged, opening your mouth and sticking out your tongue to encourage him.

Ezra sighed blissfully at the sight, lacing his fingers through your hair and encouraging you to take his cock until your nose rested against his groin. "Fuc-king gods, you are positively celestial." He groaned, "Relegating yourself to a singular partner would be doing you a disservice, little bird. I highly encourage you to weaponize your talents in whatever field you wish."

Come flooded your mouth, his cock twitching heavily against your tongue. Your eyes rolled back, your lungs burning for air and you dimly heard Mando snarl, dropping his helm to rest on your sternum. The metal was blessedly cool even through your tunic, helping to anchor you to reality.

"Fucking touch me, please." Mando's voice shook even with the modulator, his words buzzing through your body. "Senaar please, fuck, pl-please, touch me, fucking--"

Your palms crashed into his shoulders, hips bucking upwards to meet his next thrust and you came again. Mando made a noise that you could only liken to a roar, the armored man grappling at your hips and grinding himself against your dripping cunt.

"Senaar, Senaar, Senaar--" The name he had given you punctuated every thrust, his rasping tone making your belly drop out. You weren't sure if you would ever stop coming, grasping blindly at Mando and Ezra while your cunt gripped down on Mando's cock.

…

If Ezra still had any doubts about being a blatant proxy for the armored man, that was obliterated in his post-orgasm daze.

A gloved hand slid to the back of his neck and tugged him down to your mouth. Ezra went clumsily but willingly, the prospector humming when he tasted himself and the cloying sweetness of the Serpentia on your tongue. You sobbed against his lips and Ezra soothed you with his mouth, accepting all of your hungry whimpers and whines as he stroked your hair back off your forehead.

"Little bird, little bird, you will want for nothing with this individual pummeling you so mercilessly." He breathed, relishing the soft cry that quivered against the skin of his neck. "I imagine you can feel every inch of that prodigious girth, burning like unquenchable quicksilver, threatening to breach your very womb." He moved his bound hands down, resting them on your stomach. "Steerforth, I trust you are punishin' their cervix with every thrust?" He queried, chuckling darkly when Mando just snarled in reply.

You threw your head back, hands fisted in the fabric between Mando's pauldrons and gorget. "Mando-!" You pleaded, "fuck!"

Mando's hands dug beneath the small of your back and he canted your hips upwards, sheathing his cock in the cradle of your body over and over. Ezra envied the armored man's stamina, grunting when he felt his member trying to rise again. Whether he could blame the pollen for that, he was unsure, but the lovely company certainly did nothing to dissuade his arousal. Watching this large, almost knightly figure rail into you, your face still a mess of tears from when Ezra had fucked your mouth…

Kevva, he could not recall a time where he had been so content to simply play voyeur, pressing the occasional kiss to your lips at Mando's behest. "Such tenderness, what a dichotomous sensation for you," the prospector mused, "the contrast between armor and flesh." His mouth brushed against your ear when he continued, "However, I believe you're beginning to realize that there is an untapped wellspring of man beneath all that metal, am I correct little bird?"

...

You squeezed your eyes shut and Din's hand reached up, the bounty hunter unable to keep from cradling your cheek. "I always knew." You said, your voice barely audible. "I-I always...I always-"

"Be quiet." Din grunted. "Y-You...don't have to say it." His heart slamming in his chest had nothing to do with his current exertion. You knew. Shame reached him dimly through the haze of arousal. All the times he ached to touch you, all the times he battled with himself over his desire for contact…

Your hand gripped the back of his helmet and he flinched sharply. He hadn't noticed you move and you could pull his helmet off, shit, he was so stupid for doing this! His eyes flew to yours, even though he knew you couldn't see through his visor.

After a moment of him fighting back his panic, you just shook your head. "S-Sealed unit, ri-ght?" You asked, your words hitching with his thrusts. Djarin nodded warily. Your eyes half-lidded and you knocked your forehead into his helmet, the gesture unmistakable to a Mandalorian.

A kiss.

Was his heart breaking, or just fucking giving out under the assault of this insane pollen? Was he overloaded? Was this all just some wild hallucination?

Din frantically shoved his helmet against your face, pinning your head back to the pillow. Shit, he needed to be careful, you didn't have armor. "Senaar, I--" Basic had always been so damn heavy on his tongue. Mando'a flowed, but it was secret. Sacred. Djarin hesitated and you reached up again, cradling the indents on his helmet.

"Always. Even with this." You whispered.

His brain had short-circuited. The roaring in his ears was deafening and he knew he was making some kind of ugly, wounded noise, but he couldn't actually do anything about it.

Always. Always.

His heart must have blown, he reasoned desperately. That was the only explanation for what he was feeling right now.

…

The sound that Mando made after you assured him was heartwrenching, a guttural sob that seemed like a mixture of agony and ecstasy. He clawed at the blanket beneath you, gasping for breath as he all but broke you in half, his dick ripping yet another orgasm from your hungry cunt.

You were lightheaded from his prolonged fucking, your pussy in spasm around his thick cock, but you refused to give out yet. "Did you feel me come, Mando?" You whimpered against the side of his helmet, wringing more feral noises out of him. "Is it good?"

"Fuck, incredible, s-so--" Mando gripped your thigh, hitching it up over his hip and then dragging his fingers hungrily through the pink slick that had pooled in the crease of your hip. "Never want to leave, fuck, m'sorry, I know I'm t-taking--forever-"

"Only a fool apologizes for his length in the bedroom." Ezra remarked dryly, dipping down to kiss you when you laughed. "How do you fare, little bird?"

"So good." You sighed, feeling half-drunk on your orgasm high. The knot in your belly had finally gone slack, leaving you weak and trembling beneath Mando as he chased his own completion. You hummed and Ezra rumbled back, his touch remarkably careful when he cupped your chin.

"You have done so well." Ezra murmured. "Serpentia is no simple storm to weather, yet you have endured." Mando wordlessly bumped his helmet against Ezra's temple, the metal rubbing over the blond tuft of hair the quarry sported. "You are most welcome, Steerforth." Ezra chuckled. "One is glad to be of service, but please. You threatened to fill them, didn't you?"

Mando's hips faltered in their rhythm and the armored man finally came with a shattered moan of relief. Stars, you weren't sure if you had the Serpentia to blame for the sheer volume that he came; you could feel it frothing out of you around his cock as he continued to shudder and writhe through his orgasm.

"Holy shit, Mando." You said incredulously, unable to fight back the urge to slip a hand down between your bodies. "You told me Mandalorians were rare."

"We--are." Mando panted raggedly, his cock still twitching inside you.

"If you come like this, how?" You asked, your combined fluids soaking your questing fingers. Mando just stared at you for a moment, shoulders heaving while he struggled to catch his breath.

And then he started laughing, which was...not nearly as terrifying as you had expected, honestly. "Stars, you--" He wheezed, his helm thudding gently against your forehead. "Fuck you, Senaar." You could hear him grinning, his voice still warm with laughter.

"Odd method of displaying affection. I take it your Creed is of a fraternitous bent?" Ezra commented, a quiet noise of surprise escaping him when you tugged him down for a kiss.

"Thank you." You mumbled drowsily into his mouth.

"Hardly. I ought to thank you. When last I endured the Serpent's grasp, I was incarcerated and driven to gratify myself to ribbons on the inside of my gear." Ezra informed you, his tone nonchalant. "This experience was a rare moment of hedonistic bliss in my life. Believe me when I say I shall cherish it."

He straightened up before you could say anything in reply, extending his bound wrists to Mando.

"Whither to, my recalcitrant steerforth?"

Mando ignored him for another moment, stroking your forehead tenderly. He appeared to have noticed your weariness, because he sounded softer when he spoke. "Sleep, Senaar. It's over."

…

"I'll cut you loose on Sorgan."

Ezra swiveled in the co-pilot chair, knowing that his expression must border on the befuddled. When the armored man had left you to sleep, hauled Ezra into the cockpit and secured his binders to the chair, the prospector had assumed that whatever agreement they struck previously was rendered null and void. "I would be...wholeheartedly grateful to you, Steerforth." He breathed.

"I never found you. Your pod malfunctioned and you burned alive in the atmosphere." Mando instructed him in that level, modulated voice. "Stop stealing shit and I won't have to hunt you down again."

"Those men stole from me!" Ezra retorted hotly, knocking his elbow down into the white case that hung off his hip. "I worked alone for stands and they came along right at the most opportune juncture, put a thrower to my head and robbed me! I simply reclaimed-"

Mando waved a hand, interrupting his self-righteous tirade. "You and I both know that it doesn't matter. I'm forfeiting the credits this time, but next time…" he trailed off pointedly. "Don't get caught again. If someone else from my Guild chapter picks up your bounty, Mandalorian or otherwise, they will catch you."

Mando leaned in close, his elbows resting on his knees and helmet propped up on his folded hands. Ezra felt for all the world like a specimen underneath a microscope, barely suppressing the urge to squirm nervously.

"The bounty specified that you be captured warm." The armored man said after a beat. "No promise of half-payment upon cold delivery or even proof of demise. So whoever you got into a pissing match with wants to be the one to put that last slug into your brain. You already heard my advice. For your own good, I suggest you lay low and be fucking quiet." He gestured out the cockpit viewport at the green sphere that hovered in the distance. "There's good people on that planet. Good people that I care about. If you bring hunters to their doorstep, I will find out. And then I will find you."

Kevva have mercy, this man was no joke. Ezra was having a difficult time just mustering up the breath to give him an affirmation! Was this truly the same Lancelot he had watched engage in lotus-eating debauchery with his Guinevere not two hours hence? Ezra's belly roiled uncertainly, arousal and fear a potent combination. This must be how the bounty hunter indulged himself without divesting his plate, the prospector reasoned dimly. Fear was a remarkably stimulating thing. "Of course." He finally answered, his voice a little reedy. "Your mercy is...unexpectedly generous, but no less appreciated for its spontaneity."

Mando grunted, seeming satisfied with his response. The armored man returned to the control panel after a moment, flipping a few switches. The entire ship appeared to be miles above what Ezra was used to. Even the Testin had a dog-eared manual that hung from a chain by the central dash, and the craft was such a rattling nightmare that she needed three bodies just to keep her straight. But this man, this...Mandalorian, he operated the whole blasted vessel with a fluid ease.

His next words were so quiet Ezra nearly missed them. "Thank you."

"Pardon?" Ezra queried blankly.

Mando heaved a sigh that made his pauldrons visibly dip. "I said, thank you." He growled awkwardly. "I don't know what...I don't know if I would have hurt them because of--because of how I am."

"It will do no good to ruminate on such dour subjects." Ezra hesitated, then continued, "but your Creed...would you have broken it for them, had you known about the requirements of the Medusine barrier?"

"I…" Mando tightened his hold on the directionals, those gloves creaking with his tension. "I'm not sure." He admitted, lapsing into silence afterwards.

"Your ship is marvelously responsive." Ezra murmured by way of changing the subject. "It reminds me of a diminutive Screamer-class that I endured a few stands on, oh, nearly fifteen cycles ago-"

"Be quiet."

…

Din watched Ezra until he vanished between the large trunks of Sorgan's conifers, the Mandalorian then dropping back into the pilot's seat with a groan. Maker, he hoped he was doing the right thing. Hoped he hadn't just unleashed some mass-murdering psychopath on the unsuspecting populace.

Djarin tilted his helmet back against the headrest of the seat, aimlessly staring up at the fuselage.

What the hell was he going to say when you woke up?

Din's heart sank. He knew that he couldn't believe anything that had come out of your mouth while you had been under the effects of that fruit. Serpent's Tongue. He chewed his lower lip meditatively.

He could lie.

He fucking cringed at the thought, then shook his head at himself. You would be embarrassed at best, but at worst…

Shit, he didn't want to lose you, even if you didn't feel the same way about him. And then there was the kid to worry about. No, a lie would be better.

You had sought out other Mandos. His stomach lurched as he recalled that little fact. Fuck, fuck, was it hope that beat so insistently in his throat?

A sealed unit, he had said.

He just wouldn't bring it up. He was the one who had insisted that this whole maneuver was struck from the proverbial records in the first place, right? He just wouldn't mention it. Easy enough. If you said something, that was fine, but otherwise…

Din nodded firmly. This is the Way.

Part Two

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