#i did not mean it that way

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[adyophene]

I couldn't get the idea of Alastor holding Husk like that one ferret gif during his lament in the finale out of my head.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin art #husk #alastor #radiohusk #i mean not really but #anyways did i spend way too much time on what is a shit post #yes of course have you looked at my blog thats all i do

[o0kawaii0o]

no mercy 😭

#one piece won the poll and I wanted to draw smth nice and wholesome #but I hated the perspective process and the multiple characters were a pain so where did that bring me? #that's right; perspective and multiple characters in shtpost format #don't you just love it when you put too much pressure on yourself and the way to fix that is to draw smth silly #vibrant colours go brrrr #pls trust me when I say I like sanji #I mean look at him #one piece #strawhat crew #sanji #luffy #zoro #chopper #usopp #nami #nico robin #cyborg franky #o0kawaii0o

[indigoire]

Okay but on a serious note Con O'Neill ate in these first few episodes and left no fucking crumbs. Last season we ended on deranged Izzy; now we have an Izzy realizing how toxic things can really get and WISHING he could go back to the days when he was the only proper pirate among muppets. And he's TRYING so damn hard and it would be so easy to play that in a cheesy or insincere manner, but we have Con O'Neill swinging for the fences, crying, begging for death, disheveled, trying to undo everything he did to get us all in this mess and failing and looking both miserable and delighted in his misery because he's getting what he thinks he deserves.

And YET we also get the subtle tear in the eye when Stede finds out what they really did to Ed. Like. You can feel how utterly heartbroken the man is just from a glimmer in the corner of his eye.

Love Izzy, hate Izzy, it really doesn't matter, not when he's played so magnificently by Con, and I salute him for everything he's doing in this campy gay pirate show.

#ofmd #he really did that and I have nothing but respect #'he's a dick but he's our dick' and I would not have it any other way #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #our flag means death #Izzy Hands #Con O'Neill

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[chloesimaginationthings]

What’s William Afton’s problem in FNAF….

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #william afton #michael afton #afton family #funtime foxy #fnaf #fnaf 4 #sister location #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #UNSERIOUS comic time…. #what did William Afton mean by this… #is William trying to be nice or insulting #Michael is frozen stunned baffled flabbergasted even #William is gonna send Michael into an identity crisis at this rate #seeing baby and ballora are semi inspired off of Elizabeth and Ms Afton #made me wonder about Funtime foxy makes sense that be Michael #but the more I thought about it the funnier that thought got #Michael gets called fruity in the most ridiculous way possible #I’m glad I finally got to draw Funtime foxy though!! 💗

[amu-says-hav-says]

I can’t believe I went through all of Season 2 assuming Nina was the stand-in for Crowley when you actually pay attention it’s so CLEAR that she’s Aziraphale. I was tricked by her spiky, sarcastic, cynical outer shell and lulled into a false sense of security by Maggie’s bubbly optimism and wholesome goodness, because on the surface they reflect the ineffable husbands perfectly, in their personalities, their aesthetics, even many of their actions and morals. but not, and this is the real key, when it comes to their “relationship”. but those first impressions really had me damn fooled. 

I missed the blatantness of Nina’s “we’re just friends. actually we’re not friends. we barely know each other.” the same thing Aziraphale said in season 1.  the way he still struggles to quantify their friendship when Nina asks. Nina’s sarcasm when Crowley asks about rain and awnings because it worked for him (we all know it LMAO). hell, that whole convo the girls have in the rain is so AziraCrow (“I know. I’m not your type” “...You have no idea” hits so much harder the second time, help meeeee.) “Lindsay” maybe being symbolic of Heaven and Aziraphale’s toxic relationship with them and their abuse? (the handwritten text messages in red pen make me think of angry notes on paperwork, anyone else?) because Crowley has never actually cared about what Hell thinks of him, just not getting into trouble (or him or Aziraphale getting hurt). Maggie is always chasing Nina. NINA NEVER GOES IN THE RECORD STORE. Just like Crowley always goes to the bookstore, to Aziraphale, Zira NEVER WENT TO THE FLAT (apart from The Swap but that doesn’t count imo). Crowley has always chased Zira, not the other way around. Always there to rescue him, always going to him for company, always relying on their shared connection, always US. OUR SIDE. All through season one, he comes to Zira every time to work together, never trying to work alongside Hell in any way that isn’t to save their skins or Earth, while Zira hides things from Crowley because he STILL thinks Heaven is ultimately good and will do the right thing if he can just show them. fix it from the inside. 

Maggie working up the courage to finally say something, to put herself out there, while Nina is utterly oblivious and then when she does realise Maggie has feelings, becoming standoffish, putting up that barrier, fighting it, denying it, ITS SO CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE IN THAT ORDER. the way I was fooled into thinking Nina’s trust issues are Crowley because he does have trust issues ofc he does BUT Crowley has ALWAYS TRUSTED AZIRAPHALE. has always relied on him. has always been hurt when Aziraphale doesn’t immediately reciprocate the way he expects (the holy water request, the bandstand, the “off in the stars” etc). he’s always the one putting himself forward. Aziraphale has always been the one to second guess everything, to fight their connection, their similarities, their friendship. the girls really made me think it was going to be okay when they sat Crowley down, even as my inner sirens were going haywire about Metatron interfering, they were telling Crowley he just needs to open up and it’ll all work out BUT HE’S ALREADY AT THAT POINT. he may not say it, and by gosh is that part of their damn problem, but he’s always SHOWN IT. he’s not Nina who needs time to heal and recover from her broken trust, he’s always been Maggie believing it doesn’t matter, they’ll end up together in the end anyway AND I WALKED RIGHT INTO THE TRAP THAT THIS MEANT THEY WERE GOING TO BE OKAYYYYYYYYYYY

#good omens #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 #good omens 2 #GO2 #GO2 spoilers #ineffable husbands #not me going to my basically unused sideblog that isn't GO related because I NEED TO YELL THIS SOMEWHERE #I mean outside of the relationship thing there are so many ways #that Nina and Crowley line up and Zira and Maggie #but the girls story isn't about them as people #it's about this relationship the boys are tryna push on them and what that relationship reflects about the boys #anyway I'm on my first rewatch for all the clue I missed #so I imagine I'll only spot more clues to berate myself about as I go #HOW DID I FALL FOR ITTTTTT #I can't believe I was so blind #OFC the Disaster Puppy Lesbian was Crowley #and OFC the Emotionally Abused Tortoise was Aziraphale

[licollisa]

In which life ditched Jerry

(full version)

Bonus:

I thought it would be funny if Chara had some past grudge regarding Jerry, hence the mildly hostile narration in their encounter.

#Inspiring: This Progressive Bully Torments Transgender Students Using Their Preferred Pronoun #undertale #frisk #chara #jerry undertale #honorable mention: papyrus and sans snowman which is perfect in every way #(i mean they didnt really dust it. just did that thing where you beat them until their name turns yellow) #but dramatics yknow #lico arting

[raytorotits]

CDs are obsolete because the sound quality sucks

yeah sucks me good and hard through my jorts

#okay in actuality?????? vinyl is inaccessible in so so many ways. #cant afford a decnt record player which means that the vinyl i DO own is uhhh soumds worse than #my cds theough the blutooth speaker i have #cds arent 'better' than vinyl but theyre an affordable access point #and wonderful technology #and for the majority of people cd sound is better than spotify or youtubemp3 #they didnt go obselete bc they sucked they went obselete (to the extent they did) bc of digitization #it ALL depends on what speakers you are playing things through #cds are LITERALLY lossless like????? #cd quality is usuallly better than vinyl cd quality is better than anything but flac #bc flac is MODELED ON CDS #ask bosk

[blakbonnet]

his bringing back "you wear fine things well" the little recognition of that moment from their past where they could've taken the step but both chickened out. The theme being to be better and to do better, to love your person better, to be fucking braver dammit, and now them just going for it. The kiss in the moonlight they denied themselves, now coming full circle with fingers in hair and softness and want, so much fucking want. The ending of it with their silliness, the quiet acceptance of what they are to each other, no drama, just realisation of "I'm what you got and I'm fucking keeping you"

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 spoilers #blackbonnet #this episode has taken me in every way it can #I can't believe they did this #I'm so happy #ofmd meta #meow speaks

[heartorbit]

holy quintet looks kind of different

#project sekai #emu otori #nene kusanagi #tsukasa tenma #mizuki akiyama #rui kamishiro #pjsk #prsk #proseka #pmmm #i tag then i scream #UAUUUGUUUUU im tired. smifnfile. I didnt mean to draw finish this i kind of just did and now its 2am. and i have #9am lifedrawing class. sniflfmelfle. Goodnight. IM TIRED. #this is my way of practicing rui i think i finally got him down. ambrose im coming to get you #here comes emunene doomed yaoi and mizurui doomed yuri and tsukasa doomed in general #fun little things: emus hair bows r based on her kirapipi card #mizukis hair bow is the one from the ribbon event and tsukasa hat is torpe card #nenes soul gem is a shell for her mermaid card and ruis is an hourglass for his curtaincall card. and i thought it was funny #and i couldnt draw the balloon nice. LOL. he gets ramune candy for compensation #didnt draw it yet but like when homura takes out her braids i thought nene could take out her front hairties. cg/o hair style. you know. #I got my cat a laser pointer and im so glad it fucking tired her OUT chasing it she sleeps like a rock. me next. OK FUCKING GOODNIGHT. #STUPID 9AM CLASS. EXPLODES. #i know its kind of funny to just have mizuki be there but im a wxs oshi and nenerobo wasnt going to be here sorry. cant draw her a mech. L #but to me they arent just there. thats MIZUKI. theyre a celebrity to me. wxs is just next to them.

[mumblesplash]

gem, what happened to your eye?

(wanted to upload this panel separately, original is from this comic)

#my art #geminitay #secret life #icr exactly when but there was this moment earlier in the series #where someone asked gem what was up with her eye (because her skin had one green eye and one yellow eye) #and her response was smth like 'i'm yellow now!' #and i was like wait that's SO GOOD #bc there's an established tradition of ccs changing their skins to match the color of their current life #so the person (scott i think?) was obviously asking about the eye that was still *green* #but her answering that way implies she took the question to mean 'why did your eye color change' #because /the other one isn't her eye/

[ruporas]

the song of humanity will continue to be sung

#vash the stampede #trigun #trigun stampede #he means so much to me he means sooooo much i love him so much asfuahghdsgnkdsgk #VASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #i posted it on twit but i was REALLY dreading ep 11 bc i figured that vash might cry #but instead he screamt into agony in which i cant even rewatch the episode #bc the va did such a good fucking job in conveying that terror and grief and guilt and it fucks me up so bad #vash makes me sad in EVERY adaption but stampede is like #we've only seen him be kind. he's just nice. he's serious and he's nice and he's kind. he treats everyone with so much delicateness and care #and the only time he raises his voice is for the protection of others and warning them #and now he's rung the wranger and i now have a hammer to knives' side #not even trying to be dramatic its just been awhile since a character has mattered to me in this kind of way #ruporas art

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 4: Deranged Bedfellows

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.5)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #mdzs au #lan wangji #nie huaisang #Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU #This is the *first* part of what was supposed to be a much longer comic (LWJ's morning routine in full). #I'll finish the remaining part as a reblog to this post! I just think this is the funnier chunk. #Lan Wangji absolutely is the kind of person who has a perfect internal alarm clock for when it is time to get up. #He already has a dedicated sleep schedule. He is accurate within 10 seconds of 5am every day. #I think the Jiang disciples are most likely used to waking up around 6:00-7:00am #But the allure of having a guaranteed time keeper getting you up in the morning is worth the earlier hour. #I imagine they started outside lwj's door and slowly moved closer as the weeks went on. #Now LWJ has to cope with being way too warm in the night from all the extra body heat. #LWJ is not a fan of this but they scamper off immediately after he wakes up and they at least show initiative to follow routine. #NHS joins in only because he is a chronically heavy sleeper and needs this level of intervention to get up early. #His boldness would be a death sentence in the cloud recesses but here? Whole new game. #Yungmeng Jiang isn't a lawless land. It's just a land with different laws. #And one of those laws is to forcefully domesticate the catboy coded Lan boy through any means necessary. #Completely different tangent: I drew the thumbnail for this before I did comic 134. I then realized they had the same visual gag. #So I had to space this one out so it didn't seem like I repeated the waking up joke. That's my secret and all of you have to keep it. #And in my land the law is that snitches get itches (telepathically transfers hives onto your body)

[heynhay]

OFMD season two bonus posters! (source)

#ofmd #our flag means death #hey guys by the way. I did actually just lie. i made these for fun. but like dont tell the other guy that i wanna see if he notices #normally i would make a self deprecating joke about how im sure everyone noticed bc i am such an amateur but like. #did you guys see their actual promo materials. just curious on what the. #what the thought process was there. #it looks air fried #anyway #art #my art

[astronomodome]

a tango of the big pants variety

#you guys seem to like it when i draw tango #and i also i like drawing tango so yayyyyyyy :) #did not mean to have him slay so hard in this but thats just the way the cookie crumbles i guess #my art #tangotek #hermitcraft #hermitblr