#i did it to myself because it's a blog i blocked and then idk why i went in there and saw that lol

[witheredsnow]

My first blogged short story awhile ago that I just thought of posting to... Idk. I guess to relieve myself of some things by turning it into embellished fiction. It was more well-received than I thought. Now this is the third. Thanks for reading. -Rei

It's Not the Same, a short story on an aroace POV

Sunny mornings, cool windy breezes and the sparse green. That was what most days were like with you, my dearest friend.

Sprawled on the ground of your small yard. Green was hard to come by sadly.

We were both young and lived like the world was a fantasy.

Although, I wished I could be in a better fantasy. With you, of course.

A cottage in the woods, surrounded by green, yellows, blues, pinks and violets. Even young, I wanted an idyllic life.

Wouldn't that be a great fantasy.

And I told you about it. Would you want to be there with me too? When we're both older and have to live in reality, let's have this piece of fantasy. Together.

Oh how happy my words made you look. Sparkly eyed youth with red tinted cheeks.

Then you held out your pinky... Oh, right. Of course I would promise.

I want to be with you even years later. And I know you feel the same way as you told me too.

...

.....

But perhaps, it wasn't exactly the same way.

...

We grew older into bigger kids though still kids and still the closest of bonds there is.

Adults say we look cute together as we continue to grow older. Mmm... I mean, I suppose? Individually we look cute, so together we're cuter. I think I understand the logic.

Or maybe I misunderstood.

... I don't know.

Hm? You seem more timid when they say that.

Everyone looked on with a knowing smile or glance.

I... Really don't understand.

...

....

And sometimes I wished I continued to stay ignorant.

But that would be unfair to you, no?

...

Getting even older. It wasn't that exciting to me, in all honesty.

I think I'm starting to get into the reality of growing older... Not that fun. Oh, how I daydreamed of our childhood fantasies when I'm bored.

I never gave up on that dream as I continue to dream it night and day. Do you still remember?

Of course you do. You would encourage and support me too. I know I will want you to be there with me.

You know, that was what I was most looking forward to in getting older. To be with you in that fantasy like I've told you many years ago.

You smiled softly at the declaration I said out loud.

Although, these days... I don't think it'll be just as I wanted. I... Don't know what it is. I don't know where is it not what I wanted.

...

....

But later, I know what it was.

....

Huh? Pardon? What did you say?

My mind stopped working. Or rather, it was working but it was working to block out the words I don't understand why I was denying. Did that make sense?

Hm... Anyway, erm, I understand what you said that you were feeling. Towards me to be exact. And I understand the context of said feelings...

Maybe I did a while ago...

If I said I don't feel the same way or rather, I never will feel the same and I never did feel the same... No, that's not an 'if'. I should say it and I did.

The eyes that looked at me fondly and with growing attraction I chose to ignore when I became aware of its nature now looked hurt. Because I hurt you with this truth.

You thought I felt the same. That I liked you... Or possibly even loved you.

And I did and still do. But... It wasn't ever the same way as you. It took me long to be aware of that.

I... I'm sorry.

...

.....

It wasn't the same ever since that day and I sometimes grieved because of that fact.

So this is reality for us, huh.

....

You looked great together.

I said that as I attended your wedding. Now those words are truly fitting.

You smiled a small smile as I did the same.

It really wasn't the same anymore. But that's not always a bad thing. If it meant that I could see you smile again and have your heart be reciprocated the same way, then it definitely isn't now.

You're still my dearest friend... No matter what.

...

.....

"Hey... So house—or rather, cottagewarming party soon?"

"Yeah. Don't be late."

...

#Aroace #aroace #aromantic #asexual #aro #writers on tumblr #rei's random stuff #written

[sherlock-is-ace]

I did this to myself but i just saw a cishet imbecile saying ace people are not queer and i'm like... Who the fuck are you to talk?! You don't get to speak for a whole community you're not even part of

Anyways happy ace week!! We're queer and we belong in queer spaces <3

#i did it to myself because it's a blog i blocked and then idk why i went in there and saw that lol #heterosexual man has opinions about if a sexuality that's not his belongs in a community he's not part of #HILARIOUS #ahfnsjg #angel talks #personal #ace week #asexuality

[spirngakawening]

Sometimes when reblogging I think "it's been a while since I've posted anything Spring Awakening-related, people might be surprised to see it on my blog" then I remember what my blog name is

#part of it is like. i hope ppl don't get the wrong idea 'cause yeah i love this musical but i also hate it #like i am highly critical of it i just keep those discussions to the dead discord server #but yeah if anyone was gonna like. block me for liking it they'd just have to look at my username asdfghjkl #for anyone with no context this prolly sounds bad like why would someone block me for liking a musical #idk man ppl have strong opinions sometimes.it could happen #ik i myself am a lil weary of the fandom 💀 #if you're a casual spring awakening enjoyer that's fine. power to ya. but. agh. this fecking musical #it's my blog name bc it kickstarted my second & ongoing musical phase. like my starter musicals were heathers & bmc but this one Got Me #it was prolly my most intense fixation since.. since hetalia 💀 WHICH WAS MY FIRST EVER FANDOM #i was out here learning songs in ASL because of this musical WE DON'T EVEN USE ASL HERE (although i did go on to take Auslan classes) #i.. this musical had an impact on my life and that's all i can really say. boy oh boy... #spring awakening #braindumping in the tumblr tags #don't go watch this musical. but maybe do go read the play it's based on idk #i have many thoughts and feelings about this #shoutout to everyone who's said they felt like they were having a stroke reading my username #probably not the most sensitive way to describe it but i do perfectly understand what you mean #kinda the intended effect. jumbling the letters like that #rly it's just swapping two letters in each word. but it's effective #hm i just got a poll idea

[kithtaehyung]

seven days (m) (teaser) | jjk

POSTED HERE JULY 22ND, 2023!!  upcoming series: seven days (m)  pairing: fuckboy!jungkook x reader(f) genre/rating: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; roommates to lovers au  summary: you dump yet another guy that wasn’t up to your “ten day standards,” which leaves your cocky ass, very off-limits roommate to tease your single status yet again. but the teasing is always expected. what’s not expected, is the bet that you make without thinking. the bet that even though you give ten days, he wouldn’t even last seven. warnings: cursing, alcohol/vape mentions, parties, he wears glasses sometimes😔👍, chains bc it’s tradition atp lmaooo, cocky!jk, feelings🤕, big big big jk, flirty!jk, baddie!reader😌, multiple explicit scenes🫠, jk constantly in grey sweatpants and nothing else :))), full lists to be revealed each chapter! notes: …so this song called seven dropped and— notes 2: but really there was a fic that had been in the wips for a minute, and i just so happened to have a burst of energy to expand on it so here we are! making it a series to allow myself time to dedicate meaningful energy to each scene and not rush them💕 est. chapters: prologue | mon | tue | wed | thurs | fri | sat | sun | seven days est. running dates: july-september 2023 taglist: sign up here (i check every entry so read the rules!) teaser: below the cut if you want a taste 🩵

—

—

“Sure did,” Jungkook puffs before stepping away, taking all the tight space with him and letting you breathe again. “But all I’m saying is, you gotta lower your standards or—” 

“No.”

“Or,” he continues, giving you a look, “Not complain if they’re too high.” 

“Well, thank you.” With your nose grazing the sky, you point out, “I’d like to think they’re just right.” 

“What even are they anyway? All you’ve said is something about ten days.”

“That’s basically it,” you murmur, resting your arms on the island as to not have your chest in full view. “If I still like someone after ten days, I know I’d be fine dating them for real.” 

There’s silence when you finish. When you finally look, the gawk you’re getting in return almost makes you laugh. “What?”

“You mean those days are only a trial run?” 

You do break into laughter this time, burying your face in slight shyness. “And what about it!” 

“Are you serious—?” Jungkook rounds the island so that he can speak directly at your hidden features. “Has anyone even gotten past all ten with you?”

You pause, breath fanning the granite top beneath you and wisping around your face. When you lift your gaze above your arms, you keep it trained on the countertop instead of his curiosity, 

“No.” 

He doesn’t say a word. 

“Not since my standards changed.” 

And you think that’s the end of this conversation. Because what else is there to say? You know your expectations are impossible but you think this is a hell of a lot better than—

“I could do it.” 

“What.” A glare is shot. “Absolutely not.” 

“Why not?”

“You? No.” You shake your head. “You wouldn’t even last seven.” 

“Try me,” he challenges, and you still can’t take him seriously despite the fire in his eyes. “I’ve lasted a lot more than that as your roommate, right?” 

“But that’s—this is—this is different! Be for real, Kook.” You vacate the island and head to your room, having enough of his teasing for one morning. 

But you get stopped at the doorway, a bare chest and chains blocking your vision and sending your mind into a frenzy. When you flick your gaze to his face, he simply says, with the straightest expression,

“I am.”

--

--

--

tbc. :))

🦋 soooo how do we feel !! | wanna be tagged? 🩵

a/n: yeah idk what happened to me. one moment i was saying i wasn't gonna get bitten by the seven bug, and the next.. well. this happened lol. anyway! taglist is on a form so that i can easily keep track of who to tag. pls make sure to either tell me ur age in the survey or to have it on your blog bc i check all entries when tagging. prologue is already written and will be up soon! ++ ⇥ masterlist

#bts fic #bts imagines #bts reactions #jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #bts smut #*ryenfictalk #ryenwrites #*latest #teasers #bts fanfic #jjk fic #7days

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I'm very late to the party it seems, because only after getting more weird asks than usual, and a few explicitly naming the bloggers involved did I learn today of the ugliness that went down a short while ago. Storm has already said her bit and I respect her choice to quietly step back so this isn't me resurrecting a dead horse to bludgeon. I'm writing this because I've been on the receiving end of this sort of campaign before, have seen it play out too many times with the same types of people, and because I want it on record somewhere that I don't know anybody here personally (a conscious choice) but that all my dealings with Storm showed her to be a forthright and thorough person. And even if she wasn't, that wouldn't excuse any of this bullshit.

Normally if this were a private matter I'd keep my opinion to myself after all I don't know any of you. But the moment anybody brings this shit into the public then anybody gets to have a go at it. We've all seen these sorts of takedown posts before, and I'm not always opposed to them because sometimes they're for good reason. If someone is actually racist, or idk a serial killer, it's good for the public to know that shit. Differing opinions on jikook being real, someone cussing you out, or blocking liberally do not meet that threshold for me, but everyone's different.

When I see these takedowns happen, including when it happened to me, I've observed it usually involves HCP personalities in this blogging space that take certain actions extremely personally and nurse grievances until it festers into fuel for drama that they gratify in because in their heads they believe they’ve been scorned and therefore are right. They usually think in a very tribal sense, rope other people in and force people into camps of friend, neutrals, and foe, and wear their egos on their sleeves.

In my case, I'd only been blogging here actively for less than 5 months before a pair of bloggers and their followers accused me of feuding with them, using them for clout, and that my opinions on my blog somehow prevented them from running their own blog and speaking freely. They'd been nursing that grievance for months with the followers who felt as they did, while I was oblivious, blogging with abandon so to speak, even interacting with them, until the call-out post. And my followers had been receiving messages about how much of a horrible bitch I am (I mean, I can be a bitch but hadn't been to anyone here at that point).

Thankfully I hadn't been blogging for long so most people could go through my blog to read what I actually think, see how I actually engage, and decide for themselves if anything those bloggers said made any sense. Storm has a longer blogging history and the campaign against her more widespread since she was very active in jikook spaces, plus she legit needs a break so I get why she's decided to take one now. I still get weird asks from people who claim to be devoted to those bloggers and that shit, that behaviour, that mentality is ugly. The point here is too many people take shit personally and then try to make it everyone's problem. Some HCP people can't help it if they have those sorts of personalities, but that doesn't excuse it. Seeing shit like this just kills the vibe for anyone who doesn't get high off that nonsense, and it further frays whatever community people are trying to build here. I usually keep my distance but I admire the people who have tried, even if only in public, to connect with people here and build community. Not everyone has to like everyone else, but there's enough abuse and BS to jokers from outside the community and fandom, for anyone to think their momentary satisfaction is worth poisoning this space, or character assassinating someone else.

Apparently anyone who has voiced support for Storm, has themselves become a target, and that in itself should tell you how weird this all is lmao.

For the people flooding my inbox who think we're in kindergarten and I should declare where my loyalties lie, get a fucking grip. If you have a problem with my arguments or views, I'm always happy to engage on that basis. But if you think me liking Storm and interacting with her posts is reason enough for you to act a fool in my inbox, you must be high out of your goddamn mind. Take my advice and block me because nobody here has time for all that. Vous pouvez vous attendre à être complètement ignoré par moi à partir de ce moment. J'ai entendu dire que le sexe anal peut soulager la pression sur la tête, vous pouvez l'essayer et me dire si cela fonctionne. Ça, je le posterai sur le blog. Tout le reste sera supprimé.

Borahae. 💜

#small psa

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for venting?

(Couldn’t think of a better title I’m sorry/TW for talk of suicide)

Alright so a bit of backstory. I (15M) have a younger sibling who I’ll call L (13NB). L has a friend group that I kinda got sucked into consisting of V (13NB) and N (13M) (& another few people who weren’t as involved and I haven’t talked to much/at all). So the group was recently in quite a lot of drama that I for the most part won’t get into because it isn’t relevant & I want to maintain as much anonymity as possible but 4 important details are:

1.There is a group chat that the 4 of us are one (that I ended up muting for my own sanity)

The drama was mostly between V and N

L mostly took N’s side and I was mostly on V’s

I thought the drama was (for the most part) the stupidest thing ever (specifically in terms of the topic vs the reaction)

Now here’s the part where I might be TA. I was getting sick of the constant fighting and it got to a point where I was being dragged into it more. Partially for a small thing that I understand I shouldn’t have done but mainly for something that both then and now while I 100% do not regret. Now I’ve typed this sentence a million times trying to find a way to say what I did vaguely but all of it just kinda makes me seem like an AH for the thing I’m not even asking about so I’ll just say what they were mad at me for. Earlier in the drama N sent a post to the group chat basically saying “Fuck you. This situation is so stressful for me and I’m going to kill myself or at least try” which caused me (who has a history of seriously suicidal friends & suicidality myself) to have a panic attack and text & call his mom (who from what I’d seen & heard was pretty understanding of that sort of thing) at 10PM about it (keep in mind I had a similar thing happen to me a couple years ago except I was the one who’s mom was being called in the middle of the night mid panic attack). I didn’t want anyone to know who told her because I didn’t want to make the drama worse but a few days later I let slip to L that I was the one who told and they told N from there. (sorry that wasn’t really relevant but I couldn’t think of a shorter way to say it.) Anyway, back to what actually happened. I got fed up with them and vented at first to a few tumblr mutuals (no names or accounts were mentioned and it was all to people who didn’t know them) and then when it got worse I made a post about it, first making sure to block N (L doesn’t use tumblr and in retrospect I should’ve blocked V too but I didn’t think it was necessary because IDK they were the ones being yelled at/made fun of/whatever by L and N) and again, didn’t mention any names or urls, just stuff that was said in the group chat. Anyway V ended up showing L and N the posts and they got pretty mad (which TBF I understand) and long story short after yelling in the group chat I wasn’t paying much attention to both of them at different times ended up talking to me on PMs and they both apologized to me/I apologized to them and whatnot and this post is ABSOLUTELY NOT about calling anyone TA for anything except what I’m specifically asking. What I’m asking is AITA for talking to those people and making those posts? I wasn’t doing it to spread rumors or to vaguepost (if I was I wouldn’t have taken the care to make sure they didn’t see it and no one knew who they were) I was doing it because I was pissed and seriously felt like I was going insane, but also I do understand why they’re mad. So AITA?

PS: if you think you might be one of the people involved here I just want to make it clear I’m not doing this to start or continue anything. I’m just doing this because I’m curious about whether I’m in the wrong objectively for this specific thing. When I said I hated drama and it takes a serious toll on me I meant it, I really just want this situation over and would rather it not start up again because of a post (which is why I’m sending this on AITA and not making a normal blog post). Also sorry everybody for the bad formatting 😅

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

[feelbokkie]

I took a nap bc I start my pies for tomorrow and tell me why I had a stress dream about skz

So I was apparently the 9th member and I had come in some point after maniac (remember that detail).

We were at this idol summer camp type shit, idk what the fuck it was but there were idols there but they were most new bc I recognized none of them. And we were doing introductions right, but everyone was doing them individually and had some like gimmick. So some idols were doing aegyo or whatever to introduce themselves, which was news to me since I was in line with the boys, trying to figure out how I was going together to introduce myself. And when it was finally time for skz, I was calm bc I figured it out. And I thought we were going in some version of age order so I was chilling while waiting for either Can or In to go first but these boys must have a group chat without me because all 8 of them walked up together. The lights dimmed and this weird blue light came on and this fog effects came put of nowhere. It all happened so fast that before I realized all 9 of us were supposed to go up, they started getting into the starting position for Maniac. So I’m running up to join them and I’m screaming “i wasn’t here yet, i wasn’t here yet!” Because i wasn’t there during Oddinary era and apparently they never performed the song with me because they fucking never blocked it for me or gave me any line distributions, or so I thought. Apparently they did blog and give me lines and not a single one of them fucking told me so I’m doing my best trying to keep up and not bump into them and the whole time I’m panicking bc I am for sure going to lose my job and get a call from big boss JYP himself. And apparently that Felix’s part where he’s singing “maniac” and walking uo while everyone is like moving their chest to the beat is now MY part and of course that’s news to me. Seungmin is on my left going like, “bitch what the fuck are you doing” and Lino is on my right glaring at me for fucking up the dance. And then when we finished the song we went back to out seats they had the audacity to me mad at ME! So I went off on them like “First of all, we were supposed to say our names, which group we’re from, our position, and do something cute BY OUR SELEVES! We didn’t have to embarrass our juniors like that with a full ass routine. Second of all, when the fuck did we redo the line distribution and reblock maniac?” Snd then hyunjin’s smart ass was like “well if you went to all the the rehearsals you’d have known,” and I almost caused a scene on national television by beating his ass. Both Seugmin and Felix had to grab me and were like “Noona, no” and then we sat there for the rest of the program which had nothing to do with us or performing. I woke up and had beef with all 8 of them

I just want ONE normal skz dream

#feelbokkie rambles

[kazachi69]

hhey just coming from melo's blog here. im not jumping to conclusions. i mean i dont agree with what you said but like bruh i cant judge cuz like i dont know your side of the story so if ya comfortable.. share your side?? if you comfortable??

TLDR: In response to that post, I ain't about all that.

I'll continue to operate as normal because I'm not so childish as to let one thing weigh on my mind forever. If you think different of me based on someone else's account alone, especially after knowing me, yall are kinda fucked up for that not me.

If you actually want to know stuff it's down there V

Well, a few month ago, when I still was good friends with Melo, I was reading out some and watching some offensive memes with them and read something out that I didn't quite like (not using the word here as it still makes me uncomfy), and then later in dms kept questioning me.

I didn't exactly know how to respond, but it felt weird since I already apologized once in call and then multiple times the day after that and tried to explain it to them later as it didn't sink until they made it. Even though I felt really bad, even if I wasn't paying attention and just reading something out loud, I thought that they would be more chill with it considering that they said the f-word, (not fuck), earlier.

Something that they conveniently left out, which I asked them about right after the voice message they sent in the last screen shot

And yeah, we were done with it after that, I apologized for about an hour and a half and then they never mentioned it to me again. If they did have that big a problem with it, they could have come to me like they had with other problems that affected them more directly, but it's not like either of us wanted to hear me say it either.

I talked to them about teasing them about certain things and what not, but they didn't say yes, or no, or even whatever. And if they were really that upset I'd think that they'd tell me about it and be more definitive instead of saying they "need to be entertained" whenever they wanted to hang out, but I did limit myself in that regard as well.

Tbh, I don't know what's happening with Glitchy, but I know they don't tolerate that stuff, but have to deal with it even if they don't like it. Idk why or what Melo's problem with Glitchy is, but it doesn't make any sense to me, and it feels like they were just hoping to hurt us. It pisses me off more that they went out of their way to go after Glitchy than they did me tbh, because it looks like Glitchy only explained to them. There has been other drama that they indirectly started when I first got to know them, but I talked them through it and helped them calm down.

This is oddly convenient as well that it's happening after *I* broke the friendship off after how they were treating me, although I could have talked to them more about it, I was really pissed at the time, and by the time I wanted to apologies, (even though I was upset) I was blocked. It seems a little unrelated, but to me, it feels like they're just trying to get back at me in some way, but I honestly don't know.

It does suck, cause a lot of people Gltichy and I considered friends blocked us without any second thought. Then again, I guess they're not really friends if they don't want to hear our side of the story or anything, so no big loss I guess.

I'll continue to operate as normal because I'm not so childish as to let one thing weigh on my mind forever. If you think different of me based on someone else's account alone, especially after knowing me, yall are kinda fucked up for that not me.

TLDR: In response to that post, I ain't about all that.

[subsystems]

10.16.23

A few years ago, a person really betrayed my trust. It still haunts me.

I've never talked about this before but something recently uprooted these memories. And quite possibly some people will see this and know details, so there's a reason I'm being vague. I don't hold anything against any of them. I just want to finally talk about it and be done with this pain I've carried inside me.

I was in a small CDD server a few years ago. It was very casual, with just a few people who I came to see as friends at the time. I even invited one of my closest online friends into the server because I thought it was a nice place.

But, at the time, I was really struggling with the abusive relationship I was in. My PTSD was on overdrive. It became clear that my mental health was preventing me from engaging in the server in a healthy way, as it was upsetting for those friends to see me in distress so much. I liked everyone in the server but I ultimately I decided to leave because I wasn't in the best state of mind. I later had conversations with many of them, explaining that how I needed to work on my mental health, and felt like I left on good terms with everyone.

I still occasionally talked to some of them while I worked on taking care of myself. Eventually we stopped talking as frequently, which I was used to with long distance friends since we're all busy with life....and life got so fucking busy because of COVID and college.

I reached out to one of them after some time. I wanted to share my support for something they had written but was so confused when they lashed out at me. The told me how they never actually liked me and they knew I said something terrible about everyone in the server--something I never did. Why would I? They were all friends to me, and I didn't think any of them were bad. They blocked me before I could say anything. I was horrified and had no idea what was going on.

I reached out to several of those friends, basically playing a game of telephone to learn what happened before finally it became apparent. The person who I once considered one of my closest online friends at the time, the same one I invited into that server, was spreading lies about me. They told everyone in the server that I was saying bad things behind their backs, with no proof at all, and some of them believed it. I was mortified. I had no idea why they would do that.

When I confronted that person about it, they had no excuse. They had no excuse for why they lied. All they said was that they never actually liked me, either. I told them I'd never talk to them again before blocking them. I was fucking devastated.

In rapid succession I learned that these people I thought I was friends with never actually liked me, that someone I thought I was very close to spread such horrible lies about me, and that people who did like me just lost their trust in me because of that fucking lie.

It fucking hurt.

Like, I've never truly recovered from it. It completely changed the way I interact with people online. I struggle so much to allow myself to get close to other people with CDDs online anymore. I stopped joining CDD servers up until very recently, and I still can't talk in them often. I go on long hiatuses from this blog. It's like I hold online people at an arms length now, all because what happened several years ago hurt me so deeply.

Even then, I can't bring myself to dislike any of them. I was hurt, but I cherished the good times I spent with them. I want to hope that they're changing, growing, idk. I don't know what caused that friend to lie about me. They were also struggling with their mental health like I was. It's not an excuse and what they did wasn't okay, but I just can't bring myself to dislike anyone involved.

I bottled all of this up for years but I'm done with it now. It's out now. I'm done. It's just been bothering me for way to long. I'm done with it. I just want to heal.

I want to breathe.

#sunflower posts #trauma tw #vent tw

[jaymesyourplaything]

Transparency pt 2

ĥamlo- how the hell did i do that anyway LOL i wanted to officially declare my disincludement in the situation- who the hell is blasting tiktoks i got this girl in the hospital next to me scrolling through tiktok honestly euthanasia at this point i am not gonna listen to her tiktoks all fucking day

she did, in fact, listen to this girls tiktoks all fucking day.

i did not get euthinized. failed opportunity. anyway.

i'm over it, it's done anyway. i'm not gonna have any more posts i guess? about it, i'm going to continue blocking their blogs,, i haven't yet because the last two days have been cray cray ehe my hand is declining (LOL ) and my partner got into a work accident. they had surgery and might need another, but high hopes. mostly i'm busy ehe helping my partner (with one hand 😵‍💫🥴😵‍💫 ) and then goofing off and playing games with them or something like idk it's just online stuff i'm chill.

but this is my mod account to talk about whatever mod stuff and i'm SUPER excited to get back to roleplaying, my tua oc is getting love from me again. my baby. 🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍 well. we'll see. with my hand declining i can't see the future for two handed tasks right now.

oh right but, you can ask questions about the scandal in tumblr if you want. i'll likely answer. i might chat to ver about what's happening, depending on what happens, but after i put my statement and then respond to idk what johns defense was i'm all done, not much else to do about it. (i mean, i'm done making posts myself about it. asks are chill. ily. )

and i did that already so, all good 👍 😌 ☺️ 😊 🙌 ✨️ omg those emojis that's adorable. it auto gives me emojis!

right. so. yeah that was crazy, wannit? uh, moving on. they even admitted to making burner blogs to interact with us. wtf. i'll just keep updating to staff, blocking them, going to see if bewitched is right and you can get tumblr to ban ip's from interacting with you. it's so weird to make accounts to interact with people who block you, like go away 😭😭 yah i have no idea why people think you're some harasser abuser lmao it's a mystery 😭😭😭 couldn't be the stalking interacting like boo leave me alone damn 😭🚪🏃🏻‍♀️💨

anyway peace from a currently two handed jay ✌️✌️

#jay #mod #a scandal in tumblr #uwu #SPECIAL THANKS TO GIRLIE WHO ENTERTASINED ME WITH TIKTOK I LOVE YOU LMAO #it's like having tv flashing in the background and you're a child and you're sleepy yk ? just having a nice innocent time. #my hand: i am dying #me: hey im having a dope arse time man check check #help im on pc now i lost ability to emoji

[redheadbigshoes]

So I made a post a while back trying to be a good ally to lesbians by saying men can't be lesbians, even if they're multigender and have complicated feelings about their attraction due to being multigender. I made this post as a multigender person exclusively attracted to women btw. And I suggested polysexual as an alternative label for multigender people to use (a label which I myself loosely use because I know lesbians can't be men, though I am looking into other labels as well).

And. This person comes onto my post and basically calls me a racist transphobe who hates trans lesbians. Asks me why I'm upholding the racist white colonizer gender binary. And. I'm just like??? Where did you get that from my post. How am I upholding the gender binary when I say men can't be lesbians? Man is a binary gender so I'm equally confused. And what about my post was racist??? My whole post was basically "men, even multigender people who have man as a gender, can't be lesbians. If you're a multigender person who experiences exclusive attraction to women and nonbinary people, you should consider using a different label, such as polysexual." I just don't get it. How is that racist? How is that upholding the gender binary? How is that transphobic? Am I just not getting it? Am I going crazy?

I almost want to argue, because what if this person is like how I was a few years ago and just doesn't realize how harmful it can be for a man (multigender or not) to ID as a lesbian? I used to support mspec lesbians and lesboys because I was a young aspec kid who thought that exclusion=bad, but then I read that lesbian carrd that explained why mspec lesbian is a harmful label and I was like "wow these are some good points. Maybe mspec lesbians and lesboys are harmful labels and these people should look for alternative ways to identify because while their attraction is valid, their identifying as a lesbian when they are not a lesbian is harmful."

I don't think I will argue though. I feel like it would just be bad for my mental health, and I know that this person likely isn't open-minded, based on the many accusations thrown my way and the very hostile way the message was delivered.

Idk sorry for the rant. I got upset about this response and figured you might understand. Idk. You can delete this if you want.

I am sorry about that person. It’s not worth arguing tbh, someone who uses prejudice as a weapon just to silence you isn’t willing to genuinely listen and understand your point. They just want attention.

I block 99% of people who come to my blog hating on me or arguing with me about “bi lesbians” or men identifying as lesbians. It’s not good for my mental health and the people are usually not open to actually understand someone else’s opinion.

#stephanie answers #anon #long post #‘bi lesbians’

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

hello, its me! the anon who asked for your opinion abt shipping Alastor with other characters :)

firstly, thank you for answering! i totally agree that, if you build on a character's canon aro/ace orientation, then shipping them would be okay. ive just heard other people say doing that was aroace erasure, and i didnt feel like i had much say, because (as previously stated) im aceflux and nebularomantic.

my sexuality fluctuates, and i cant really tell the difference between romantic and platonic attraction, which is why i didnt feel qualified to put out my opinion on such matters

i also feel like i should apologize, bc i kinda feel like my ask may have snowballed into some sort discourse? idk, just from what i saw when looking at the blog every now and then, it looked like some shit was going down, revolving around Alastor 😭

now, onto why im here: why should someone do if a person they looked up to, who outwardly supported the aroace community, turns out to be a horrible person? (im sure that some people reading this can already guess who im talking about)

i feel so icky about the situation, bc ive supported and loved this person for years. all of the songs theyve ever written have been so aro-coded (as said by aromantics), and a vast majority of their fanbase is aromantic/on the aro/ace spectrum, myself included. they even spoke about their love for the aromantic community openly, and now, with them being exposed as a horrible person, i dont really know how to feel. is there any advice you could give me and others who are in the same boat? /nf

—sincerely, 🦢🦌

No it’s all good! The discourse was started by me ducking up and some people taking it slightly to far.

Unfortunately I do know who you’re talking about. I was in that fandom back in 20-22 ish, and I couldn’t be happier that I left. Honestly. I don’t know ANYthing about the situation other then someone being revealed to be a piece of shit for some reason and I would like to keep it that way:

I don’t need to know the details about what this person did.

Small side note before I begin:

I think the problem is a lot of people have put people like that on a pedestal while not knowing anything about them. 

The big difference between e- celebrities and true (actors, singers, rich assholes ect) celebrities is the accountability of the public. True celebrities have been held accountable much sooner and to much more effect then e-celebrities due to the fact that the media cares what they do. The paparazzi ect

People talking about not listening to said persons music anymore: reminder that it’s not only them who produces and plays that music. Don’t listen to their solo shit, burn CDs rip it off YouTube, piracy is on the rise.

The rest of the people involved with the band are NOT at fault here and their career and income should not have to suffer for an asshole.

“Cancel” the person not the team.

You can still relate to something without relating to the asshole

You can still relate to something without being the asshole

Be respectful

Listen to victims

And a word for my aspecs ->

The amount of straight people who are just as bad doesn’t matter here, no matter what happens next, all people will see is “he supported aroace spec people” and will try and use it.

Ignore that block them and report harassment

Stay safe anon

#asks #ask #sorry if this was a mess #dsmp #lovejoy #wilbur soot #discourse #tw abuse #tw violence

[sysmedsaresexist]

like i do follow you and stuff and enjoy your content most of the time, this isnt meant to be an attack or smth, but i thought id point smth out. in that recent post you made abt blocking that guy, you said in the tags not to feed the trolls.

which is why im sending this ask, bc you do feed the trolls. pretty often and to this day you feed the trolls. you were reblogging stuff from thefakersystems 2 days ago, and are now saying not to feed the trolls?

this isnt really like a call out or me telling you to do anything or smth, just. something ive noticed. it actually really surprised me to see you say that, since you seem to not really care about feeding the trolls, so idk. just thought id say smth

I have a couple asks about trolls (A. Clown, ilu, yes, report), and there's one, very annoying, troll-like creature that annoys me personally, so I'm going to answer this

I like to rate trolls on two scales

Harmless to harmful

Boring to amusing

The one I recommended people block is harmful and boring

They made a blog and immediately started reblogging-- not MY posts, but my reblogs of OTHER people's positivity

That's not a danger or annoyance to myself, in this case, it's a danger to my followers and those I interact with

That means an immediate block from my blog, and a late night of checking for new blogs that might indicate round 2 (to reiterate, I was the only one they had reblogged from)

Unfortunately, I didn't catch that troll until their fifth reblog

I told those I know personally to block the blog before checking their notifications

To others, I'm sorry I didn't catch them on the first post, I'm sorry that you had to see depressing nonsense on amazing positivity posts

That's why I ALSO said in the tags, just block, there's nothing interesting to see, no amusement is going to come out of it, don't send them anons, just block and move on

Thefakersystem, on the other hand, is harmless and amusing, commenting lol on random posts and actually making me laugh at times-- they've really only reblogged my original posts, so they're not using my blog like it's a buffet of victims to pick from

They are not using my blog to attack others, they're not a direct threat to my followers or those I interact with

They're an annoying little background buzz that sometimes gets a chuckle. Everyone already knows they exist, so I don't need to tell anyone to be careful, and people either already have them blocked or know what to look for

Now, I did see that they may be involved in the anons going around, potentially the triggering ones

That's a bit different, now we have a problem, they've gone up to "mildly harmful question mark?"

I'm keeping an eye on the situation and will act appropriately, as needed

I don't know how long you've been around, but does anyone remember the shadow the hedgehog blog?

I actually spoke directly with that blog at the time and found out it was joke-- I was scared for them and my followers, so I do my due diligence where needed

But my followers can be rabid, and the shadow blog started getting death threats and suibait, and then I put a stop to it, on behalf of the TROLL, calling out those users specifically and making it very clear that this blog does not support that-- the users that sent those anons essentially ruined any fun that people were having-- and trust me, it was hilarious for most people, or I would have stopped it earlier

I have also been accused numerous times of coordinating mass reports against real users, so I need to be careful what callouts I make about who, and what I "ask" my followers to do, because there's no winning either way

And if you ARE the annoying, troll-like creature that I mentioned, you're a massive hypocrite and I hope you know everyone is laughing at you

Because if people weren't laughing, you'd be hard blocked

(If you're not that user, I hope this answers your question and helped ❤️)

[strangestcase]

i promised myself i wouldnt talk about the gothic lit fandom drama anymore but i will just say that, while i dont care for other people curating their fandom experience and blocking whomever they like, it is very telling that big name fans are systematically blocking people that speak up against the racism and ableism that go unchecked in the fandom, and rallying other fans into doing the same claiming it's bullying. it's not. it's criticism and it's not even particularly biting.

if you keep using "it's satire" to defend uncritical consumption of racist media (marghen), harrass those that ask for an antisemitism warning even if it is a redundant one (dathen), miss the picture and paint the fans of a character mistreated by the fandom as violent for speaking up (draculadailybracket), or double down when confronted with the fact your writing is ableist and that certain stereotypes shouldnt be met with praise in 2023 (see-arcane and company), people have a right to be uncomfortable. sorry not sorry but that sort of behavior IS criticism-worthy.

i do agree that callout/cancel culture is unhealthy, but that doesnt mean you are free from accountability. when someone walks up to you and says, "what you're doing is bigoted [accidentally or not]", or hell, even, "i don't agree with this creative choice because [reason]", you can either

consider if what they're saying really is worthwhile, and meditate on it; apologize if needed, dismiss if they're wrong.

double down without a second thought

and a lot of big name fans are, sadly, doing the second, and convincing otherwise decent people to block "bullies" that are genuinely just concerned fans. i don't know- maybe a small speck of tumblr fame got to their heads. they certainly did not behave like that during the dracula daily run of 2022, and while the gothic literature fandom -like any fandom- has always had rampant issues with racism and ableism (made even more blatant by the fact the source material IS openly racist and ableist more often than not!), this is the first time I've seen fans put people on a blocklist for the offense of calling it out.

the old gothic lit fandom blocklist wasn't great but they certainly treated ableism within the fandom seriously.

like. idk. i just find it rather disgusting that the new big name fans are seeing a handful of people look at their creations and go, hey, this is not cool, and here's why, now, can you stop?, and reacting by painting us as violent bullies.

i've been put on the blocklist for pointing out LXG fanworks -specially "fixit fic" ones- should keep Mina as the protagonist instead of having her share that position with her husband that wasn't even present in the comics/movie, for fuck's sake. i've had a blog block me for saying a fanfic that depicts a villain as an extremely ableist caricature of dissociative identity disorder was gross (because it was!). like... are you aware that it is you who are being assholes here, right? i might be being rude or pushy at times but it's honestly grotesque that so many people are hailing some Shyamalan's Split grade shit as good, innovative, and progressive writing and "the antidote to bad Hollywood adaptations".

do you hear yourselves?

#doc talks #gothic literature #gothic fiction

[probablyhuntersmom]

Ok, I was told about this.

emerald-entrails-hunter,

I'm gonna show a total of four screenshots in this post, and I don't wanna force what people think of me or twist any narratives. You readers can decide 😔 It would be good though, if readers have a look at both her post and this one that I have written. Before deciding what kind of person I am.

After the first boundary you put up in September, I still sent you an absolutely insensitive ask shortly after you ended things on Discord, and I wrote a physical letter to send to you. In both, not only I did not give a proper apology, but I violated your boundary of "Do not contact me again". In no way am I justifying what I did but, I was desperate to try and get us to reconcile, even if it was executed so poorly. And re: the matter that even led up to the end of our friendship to begin with.....I was cowardly. I am so sorry for my hurtful behaviour in that situation too. For all this, I am truly sorry. 😔

And I know that people have varying opinions about vagueposting. But like, if people see my vagueposts, wasn't that a conscious choice they made to seek out my vagueposts, policing what I put up?

Look. Even putting up this post, is terrifying to me. But to quote you, I to a degree also need to stand up for myself here, or else I'm going to spiral badly just before a vacation that's in 5 days. I am not like your abuser. It has taken me many months to even begin loving myself again after what happened. 😔

There was absolutely no way that I was going to show up outside your door at all.

I am definitely not that person. I put in my vagueposts that any reminders of rural Japan would be triggering e.g. even imagining tatami flooring in my head would make me gag, so why would I spend a huge chunk of $ to even go there now, in the first place (far more so now, since I'm in remission for cancer)? That would make me feel sicker to my stomach than the set of multiple triggers I already had. One of my posts also speaks about me cancelling a hotel booking. Which means I was NOT going to go to Japan to find you.

Proof from my email inbox:

And I would have done this much earlier. But I got diagnosed with cancer.

So, I suspect that you and your group have deliberately not factored in info like that in your callout. Because you really want to push a certain narrative here. If you have been monitoring me, you would have seen that info. But you do not appear to have incorporated said info into how you are viewing this whole thing.

This group has assumed that my motive was about inserting messages and about reaching out to connect, when instead I was just processing my feelings. Is there not a difference between those? I feel that this group has created their own definitions for things.

This group has actively chosen to peek at a blog they don't want to follow (mine), like hate-watching something to feel righteous, and then got ticked off - idk about internet culture differences, but you could have chosen not to look? Esp after I said I cancelled my hotel booking? AND even when I did not speak ill of you at all in my posts, it still wasn't good enough for your group's set of rules. This feels like any phrase I type is going to be seen by them as "*hisssssss* she broke our rules!!", so I have a very bad feeling about continuing.

Whether you believe me or not, I already felt so so awful and guilty upon sending off the letter. And, seeing your art in my suggestions sidebars was not something I sought out. I didn't want to see your art. But the previews of your art still made their way past Tumblr's blocking and filtering system, and they would trigger me. This means I would definitely, absolutely, never want to show up begging you for anything, or write you anymore letters, after the wrongdoings from last year that are going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I would not dare to at all, because the guilt is still eating into me every day 😔😔😔

How ashamed do you think I feel now, now that I have learnt that what I did caused you to move apartments? And I do not want to say this in any manipulative manner at all. I say it from a place of utter sadness and shame.

And importantly, you sent me these from a new sideblog you created, back in February when you heard about my cancer:

In your callout post, you say there was absolutely no misunderstanding that went down between us. But in your February ask, you said "a grand misunderstanding".

If you've changed your mind, then ok, it's perfectly valid. But it really sounds like two completely different people who sent me this long ask in Feb, versus the callout post from 12 or so hours ago.

You said, "You don't care about how you've made me feel". But if I carry this much guilt, every single day, doesn't that mean that I care about how I have made you feel?

Or, are you wanting me to care about how you feel, in a very very specific way? I'm not you, and at this point I really don't think I can be.

You saying "this happened last flipping September" and "we only knew each other for 2-3 months tops"...means you have given my grief a timeline and deadline. I will really, really have to disagree about this. You may not understand it, but this is one area that I definitely can't change my mind about.

Grief is as unique as fingerprints are, and my grief has stretched on for 9.5 months now because the 2-3 good months we had? They mattered. They. Mattered. That. Much. To. Me. Those short months were real. It's not that I was scheming with some long-term plan, to be power-hungry or hungry for control in the friendship.

I still loved you all this time and mourned deeply, though now that you've put up that post, I'm really not so sure anymore.

You have every right to feel frustrated that I'm still mourning after almost 10 months. But if you are trying to say here that I must grieve in a way that you want, I'm very sorry but I really can't. Reading your callout post, I also do not feel like you have acknowledged the heavy guilt I have been carrying, which I am not lying about. I am acknowledging your pain, even if you cannot trust that I am, but don't see that you have acknowledged mine in the callout post.

Why couldn't you use a more balanced statement e.g. "I understand you are guilty, but your vagueposting makes me extremely paranoid and uncomfortable"?

Instead, you are saying "You don't care about how you've made me feel".

I am very very sorry, and could not be more sorry, for all the hurt I have caused you. This is the theme of the ask that I wanted to send to you this coming Monday, to that same sideblog of yours. But I won't send it anymore because you don't want that. You acknowledged in the February ask you sent, that you hurt me as well. But I fully acknowledge that I was the one started it: this is true.

In your callout post, you said "now you're trying to [break my trust] again soon?" Well, in your February ask to me, you said I could rehash what happened in September with you if I wanted. And I was prepping to do that this coming Monday, though I won't anymore.

I feel that your callout is presumptuous, filtered through your lens without checking with me first. Though at the same time: I fully understand why you wouldn't want to trust anymore, even if I'm telling the truth. I acknowledge this fully.

You have pointed out via DM that you are prone to all-or-nothing thinking and you KNOW it can be unhealthy:

And I believe this is what was in play again here, with what has happened.

I'm just. I am really, truly sorry. 😔😔😔 Now I feel that I'm gonna have to 100% block from my side as well, so that I don't start having serious symptoms, because the ring of "You have no right to X/Y/Z" in your callout post, and how you're implying to me how to navigate my grief...this has changed the impression I now have of you too, after almost 10 months 😔 So, this is goodbye.

I am truly sorry. I don't want to hide anything on here

-------------

Here's my conclusion:

- They filled in a massive gap with what they think my motives were, to push a particular narrative to suit a specific agenda, to make them feel a certain way that they wanted.

- E.g. being rather sure that I was gonna spend a huge chunk of $ to go and fly somewhere and, still talk to a person that I fell out with? That would be a really huge waste of $, time and sanity. But hey, they already spun a story to put out there.

- They also left this out on purpose: I spoke about the nausea I'd feel when I images of tatami flooring and anything Japan would appear in my mind. So...imagine how unpleasant it would be for me to even look at the real scenery and locations. So why would I take a huge chunk of $ out of my savings, to go somewhere and make myself feel worse than I already have felt about the imagery in my head whenever it pops up in my head? - The ask sent to me in Feb allowed me to rehash the fallout again. And when I wanna do the rehashing, I then get slammed for it. Uh? I could not read your mind that you had changed your decision: the change in decision was NOT communicated to me in private first. Then waywardsunlight, her friend and attack dog, shrieks at me asking why I put up screenshots of the February ask. If she put my username out publicly, and then demands that I don't put up that ask (which acts as proof) publicly.....what does this therefore imply? That this group doesn't want me putting out context that they wanna make sure they leave out? Feels like a double standard to me.

- Importantly, she has conveniently said "Well, how was I supposed to know all that?!?!" only AFTER she put out this story that she wanted to tell.

I am repulsed. Thank god

#negativity tw