#i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 my one precious life 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fullfriendnerdclutch · 17 hours

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In collaboration with @malehypnofantasy

"As I said before, son. There's no better blessing other than being enlightened. Your strength came from Him. Your good look came from Him. Your wealth came from Him. Spreading His word is only right as a way for you to thank Him for his blessing. So, if I ask your purpose in life, it is--"

"To serve all His needs,"

"And, my words are--"

"Your words are the extension of His will and desires, so it's only right for me to obey you too as His communicator to the masses,"

"Perfect. Your reformation is a true showcase of His work. Bless Him,"

"Bless Him,"

"Okay, now you are discharged, son. Make me proud,"

---

Looking a bit too proud with himself, but why shouldn't he? He's finally the perfect son his father always wished for, and he's more than happy to oblige to his father's needs and demand. He spent way too much time defying the old man orders throughout his juvenile years until his latest semester in college, it's good to finally conform to his father's traditional patriarchal value rooted in Evangelical Christianity. After all, that's the kind of value needed in the community among its youth if the family-run megachurch wanted to remain flourishing for years to come.

Now, he needed to ensure that the app his father installed to his phone ended in every townies phone, including the upcoming students getting back for summer break so his father can be even more prouder to him for making sure that the community outreach worked well. Maybe he should start with the bartender, he's 21 now after all so he can definitely just slide into the bar with no problems. Make him another followers to the cause and then proceed to use his help as they are working on dual operation to convert everyone to join the megachurch through the app's subtle yet effective impact. The townies love to get wasted with their drinks, must be easy to install the app into their phone when they are not even sober. When it's on their phone, it's going to do its job and they just need to sit back, relax and wait for the stream of proud, strong and devout masses beelining their way into the service every Sunday

----

"I don't know how you did it, but your words really reverberated with me. Truly a blessing to be your converted puppet, you know?"

"I mean, talk about perfect takeover. Like, you, a fat pathetic nerd taking over my mind and make me do your bidding? Blasphemous!"

"But well, I'm just your mic now, but you clearly doing a better job than I do. Only because of you my son can be brought back to the right way like that, all my efforts were futile all these years but with you in control, poof, he's becoming someone that I can proudly call son. Really crazy how effective you are in making me your puppet and delivering all your demand as if it's God's commandment. It really is a perfect revenge for this fucked up townies. Serves them right. I really am pleased to be used by you to achieve your goals,"

#male transformation #male muscle growth #personality change #the megachurch conversion #male puppet #male mind control #male hypnosis

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keruimi · 1 day

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The Love I Strived For

Pairing: Sakusa Kiyoomi x reader

Warning: Comfort, slight Angst

Note: No words, too proud of this. My haikyuu fan side is kicking again so I decided to look back at the character that snatched my heart. I Hope you all love this the way I did. 🤍

_____________________________

"If she just knows how lucky she is to be close with Sakusa-san"

"To be like her..."

"Can we blame him, she is talented like him."

"She is so lucky..."

"Can I just be her?"

Those were the whispers I always hear the times I walk down the hallways, no matter where I am.

Sakusa's friend

The Woman who was his only exception.

Those words fill my heart with bitterness.

Because of the word 'friend'

They were right, I am talented like him. I am the best setter in the country. I am beautiful. My grades are still stable.

But our relationship will always still be in the so-called friendship.

Love is not his first priority. He could careless about it.

But I started to love him. A great Ace with a humble personality.

He should ask himself why I can't stop loving him.

Love that bloomed when we first met in the youth center for aspiring volleyball players.

That was the start of our story, of our friendship.

But never our love story.

Because no matter how perfect I am, no matter how much we are perfect in the eyes of others, I knew that feeling of acknowledgement would only stay as friends.

I could never ask for more no matter how much I wanted to.

Sakusa Kiyoomi

He was perfect. He has everything I wanted in a partner who I can spend my life with.

He has looks, he is a great player, he is a hard worker, and no matter how great a player he is, he was never prideful about it.

I love everything about him.

But our moments are always like acquaintances. I could never pass that line no matter how many years it has already been.

"I want you to love me. And I'll prove why I'm worth it"

That was the promise I declared wholeheartedly in our elementary days.

But he still feels so distant to me.

He acknowledged me, my love and talent. But never love anything I offered to him.

How am I lucky?

When my efforts seem to go to waste.

How can he love me?

"Senpai" a first year member of our team called out for me when she started to notice I was zoning out that made me look at the match in front of me.

A match where he lost the chance of being a consecutive champion.

I felt tears build up from my eyes when I saw the school's male volleyball team lose the rights to fight for the spot in the championship.

I hate it.

"Senpai... Let's greet them"

She tugged my sleeves like she is urging me to walk to greet the boys and I let my feet follow them.

And standing in front of him feels oddly cold.

So close but feels so far.

Maybe because of the bitterness I felt for him. But I can't blame him especially when it never occurs to him for loving anyone at all.

Right now I don't have the right words to say to him.

"I'll bring the victory to you"

Until those words left my lips.

That is a promise.

I love how his eyes gaze on my own before he nods in acknowledgement and proceeds to go to the locker room to wash up.

I silently yearn the moment he would finally love my efforts. The time where he would realize I am really serious about pursuing him. The moment he will feel proud of me.

I want to see the time where he would smile at me.

Because I just didn't wish for it. I worked for it.

I put sweat and tears to practice. To be a better player, match to him.

I work hard just to be seen. And I would never let go of this chance now that I am in the National Stage.

I'll bring the trophy to him.

I can hear the cheers in the stadium the moment I arrive at the end of the second set with us being in the losing end.

Because my body suddenly shut down from the quarterfinals we won yesterday.

Now that we are in the semifinals, I would not let the same bad luck be the reason why Itachiyama lost.

I am the female volleyball team's setter, the mastermind of every play. I don't want to lose therefore I can't leave.

26-25

The other team won the first set and on the lead on the second set.

The pressure was intense.

Especially when the coach immediately entered me in the game as I stood at the back.

This is my last chance...

I can't give up.

I'm not like his other fans who just wish and dream. I worked hard for it until I was deserving of it.

At this time, I want to be known by the world.

That I am the woman he should be proud of.

Those thoughts made me snatch the second set we almost lost.

Because I promise...

And I didn't realize that the match had finally ended, giving us the ticket to fight for the championship.

The time has finally come...

This is the chance I needed...

"I'm so close. So close"

Yet the night before the final day, my fever spiked up that I can barely breathe.

That's the day where I need to decide whether to play or put my health first.

But it was my dream. Not only for him but for myself too.

That's why my fever was left untold to my team members. Was kept as a secret to the coach.

Because I need to be in the court. At this moment, I need to be there.

That's why no matter how warm it was, no matter how dizzy I got, I kept going without looking back.

Because I finally decided that I will clutch the gold medal.

For our school, for our team, for our hardwork, and for him.

Even if I badly want to end it. I need to keep holding on to it.

Keep surviving.

Until we finally manage to take the last set we need to win.

That was the only time I got to breathe.

I felt my team embrace as we all fell to the ground in happiness.

Tears spill in my eyes as I finally got to laugh genuinely.

I did it

We did it!

Until the numb feeling of my body reminded me of the thing I chose to ignore.

After a few moments of celebrating, we handshake with the other team and while heading to the bleachers to take our supporters.

I felt the captain's hand on my back.

"Thank you because you keep going" she whispered as a small smile lifted from my lips.

"I have no regrets"

We bowed and thanked our supporters as I heard their cheers.

We didn't disappoint our school.

I looked up and saw the male volleyball team looking at us.

While his gaze was focused on me. I felt tears build up from my eyes as I showed a smile.

I was so happy, so happy I did it.

My happiness was immeasurable when I saw how his eyes seemed to rise a little that made my tears fall from my eyes.

Did I do it?

Did I finally make him smile.

My happiness was cut off short when my vision turned black. My own body is finally giving up on me.

It finally reaches its limit.

I started to wake up when I felt the cold towel on my forehead.

And his presence was the one that greeted me.

My eyes looked around and I saw I was in my hotel room and he was the one beside me.

"I'm sick Sakusa..."

I managed to stutter out before I felt the tiredness in my body.

"I know" he stated before he poured me a glass of water and set it on the side table.

He took a hold of my hand before he made me sit up. "You should drink"

He told me as I held the towel in my forehead and took the glass of water he was offering to me.

I drink all of it before setting it on the side table.

"Why are you the one with me?" I asked him before I removed the towel first so I could tie my hair up.

"Should I leave?"

He asked that it made me stare at him and saw he was wearing his mask as usual that made me sigh.

"It's just unusual for a person like you" I mumble as he took the comb before I managed to reach it.

"Let me"

I froze as I felt him touch my hair.

"Your actions are making me have second thoughts if you are really the Sakusa I know"

"Kiyo" I heard him mutter that made my breath hitched from his words.

"This is the only thing I can do" he started as I cherish this moment he was combing my hair for me.

"For a woman who almost risks her life just to not disappoint me" My heart warmed from his words as I looked over him through the mirror.

And I saw how my eyes turned glossy at that moment.

"You did a very dangerous thing there that your fever spikes up to 40°C" he continued before he put my hair in a ponytail.

"Never do that again"

I smiled at his words as I just decided to lean on the headboard so I can have more time to talk to him properly.

"I told you didn't I?" I finally spoke up the moment he took a seat on the end of the bed near me.

"I want to be worthy of a man like you. I want to bring the gold to you" his eyes found mine as I lift a small smile.

"Did I manage that? Those were the questions that first popped into my mind the moment we finally won" I breathlessly mutter as I played with my hands but not breaking off the eye contact from him.

"But only Sakusa Kiyoomi can answer that"

I felt how his eyes gloss a little that made me take a hold of his hand.

"Did I finally become worthy of your love?"

"The world made me feel average no matter how great I was" he managed to utter as I felt his hand tighten his hold on mine.

"Only you made me feel special"

"So Thank you"

"I really love you Kiyo" I stated clearly as I saw how thankful he was from how he gazed at our hands holding each other's palm.

"You made me start to treasure someone like you, Y/n"

And I can finally say without any hesitation.

That the first chapter of our love story officially began.

At the End of Spring Interhigh

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu anime #haikyuu #haikyu x reader #haikyū!!#haikyuu sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi #hq x y/n #hq anime #haikyuu x y/n #sakusa x reader #hq sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x you #haikyuu kiyoomi #hq kiyoomi #kiyoomi x reader #kiyoomi sakusa x reader #Spotify

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littencloud9 · 2 months

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kunichuu is SO marina coded btw

#bsd #kunichuu #they say im a control freak driven by a greed to suceed #one track mind one track heart if i fail ill fall apart #<- knkd songs #i am not my body not my mind not my brain. not my thoughts or feelings i am not my DNA #instead of being 16 and burning up a bible feeling super super super suicidal. the wasted years the wasted youth #<- chuuya songs #and ofc bbg bitch is the kunichuu anthem to me #and also primadonna #AND BUY THE STARS

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liverpool-enjoyer · 10 months

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the wasted potential feelings are hitting SO ESPECIALLY hard tonight i need to go to sleep

#(vent tags feel free to skip)#i shouldve studied more n tried harder #i could have been so smart!#i should have played a sport in high school #it would have been so good for me n i woulda been able to say i did something #i should have gotten a job by now #im twenty years old never worked a day in my life and i rely on my parents for everything #now no job will take me cause i have nothing on my resume.#i also chose to go to college in the same hick town that i live in #i could have traveled!! but i didnt.#my youth is over forever and i have nothing to show for it #i spent my prime years playing video games and watching youtube videos #i spent them with my family who i am forever grateful for #and with all the love and support they gave me ive done absolutely nothing worthwhile #i had so much potential n ive wasted it #im just so painfully unremarkable

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heavensickness · 3 months

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While my friends were getting high and chasing girls down parkway lines I was losing my mind because the love, the love, the love, the love, the love that I gave was wasted on a nice face

#why am i thinking abt my ex again #anyways i wasted my youth btw #my head

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la-cocotte-de-paris · 18 days

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Being in your 20s sucks

#i mean i am absolutely wasting my life and youth anyway #but wow i hate it here

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17deadmoth · 3 months

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Why is it so hard to change something? Why can't I just start acting the way I think, looking the way I've always wanted to look? Why do I have to be so pathetic, wasting all my time, all my youth, day after day being the same shit whose life is moving faster and faster towards the end?

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shakestheclown · 5 months

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i dont know if i ever mentioned this but a couple months ago i finally tried downloading a dating app and it was so heinous everyone was cringy ugly or republican just like i feared i literally swiped left on every choice didnt speak to anyone cause they were all insufferable and i was left with nothing so i just deleted the profile in the end and called it a day. so like. there i tried it. now what

#my sister wont listen to me complain abt being single cause 'i dont put myself out there'#but look! i did it and it was just as bad as i thought! what the hell am i supposed to do now..#she said it's because i put my distance range too low but i already know nobody likes driving to get me for any reason #so......idk i think i am just doomed to this cell forever #im sick of being alone and i feel like so much of my youth has already been wasted #like!!! im so old!!! and i havent done ANYTHING!!! im so scared!!!!!!!!!!! and nobody understands!!!#i dont get how everyone around me is in a happy loving relationship and im not allowed

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haahka · 25 days

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scrolling thru job adverts like my best chances for a safe and tolerable future are in marrying rich

#note: i will not marry rich. that would mean there would have to be a line of people wanting to marry me in the first place #how the fuck am i supposed to not walk under a train if this is the best life can offer. its saturday and im crying.#irrelevant #uni was useless why didnt i study smth different. smth more practical. i wasted my youth AND my future going after what was interesting

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wickershells · 6 months

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God I am so debilitatingly sad and alone I don’t know how to deal with it all again. Just endlessly miserable

#vent incoming you know the drill. scroll scroll scroll #my periods of silence are getting inescapable i am struggling to hold conversations and see things as they are #i really dont know what to do with myself i feel useless and spent. and i dont want to talk because nothing changes anyway #i cant stop wasting all my years. so much of my youth spent doing nothing being nowhere with no one #i wish i was exaggerating but if you didnt know i developed agoraphobia at 18 (pandemic). it has taken so much from me lol #including pretty much every friendship i had. and what few vestiges of my sanity were left. maybe i should go back on my meds #but how many times am i gonna do that. go off and on and off and on meds #it’s so sad because i’ve done almost nothing with my life and the crushing weight of that causes me to continue to do nothing and i could #break the cycle at any point but i don’t because the pain and guilt of having not broken the cycle and not being worth anything is soooo #exhausting. more than anything i’m exhausted all of the time. but i don’t feel like i deserve to be exhausted because again --almost nothin #i pray to god you guys filter me out by now. now that i have discord again i should do that thing where i vent to myself in a lone channel #being severely mentally ill is so embarrassing like i knowww i knowwwww it’s all in my head. and yet #mine

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omg-whathaveidone · 9 months

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I think Ali Wong and I share some sort of cosmic connection where she is my voice from inside my head telling the world all my daily thoughts and annoyances....anyways...I am Ali Wong. She is me.

#ali wong #don wong #netflix #comedy #but not really #she understands #marriage and middle age is a nightmare #why am i like this #this is my life now #toddlermomlife #who am i #what is happening and where are we?#wasted youth #forty something and loving none of it

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sonicenvy · 1 year

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so i decided to learn to crochet and my mom and i had an argument about it, which in retrospect was 50% funny and 50% depressing.

i was like just vibing crocheting a shitty scarf as my first project (as one does) and my mom was all like "you're wasting your time doing this and procrastinating on things that you need to do" (sidenote it is like 8:00 PM during this conversation lmao).

im all like "oh? why?" and she goes "well you can just buy a scarf from the store for like $10."

personally i think that this crocheting for me is a lot like pottery in that it is more about the practice of making than about the object itself. i am "getting my hands dirty" with a real, tangible and useful object. this is like the opposite of wasting my time playing video games or dicking around on tumblr dot com or something. i find making stuff and things, especially practical simple items kinda spiritual actually and i feel this sense of connection with the past and with our ancestors when i make stuff. plus when i use a thing that i made in my day to day life, like having a bowl of soup i made from scratch in a simple green bowl that i made with toast i made from bread i made from scratch on simple plate i made i feel things. there's something magical and wonderful about simple useful things and making idk.

that said, like no matter what i said she just ... didn't get it and insisted that doing this is a waste of my time. #momfinallyundestandhobbies2023

we circled around to the "you have nothing to show for yourself despite being out of college for almost 4 years" argument which was fun and the "you did nothing this week".

which. like. i painted 3 doors on monday. i had CANCER removal surgery on tuesday. i went to work for 7 hours on wednesday and taught a group of children how to make paper snowflakes. today i finished some overdue online work training modules, went to the doctor and had blood drawn and then went to the craft store to buy replacement buttons for a dress im rehabing and then went to the grocery. i also worked on figuring out what was wrong with a broken family heirloom camera that i inherited. and i did crochet. so. like. i didn't do nothing this week. sure i slept the back half of the day on tuesday and overslept (in til 9AM) today, but like. i am in a lot of pain (between 5/10 and 6.5/10) from a burned hole in my head with stitches. so uh. yeah.

idk i think that the fact that im not dead (and still employed, if part time) despite months of extreme fatigue and crippling depressive episodes, lots of shitty death and family drama, and oh. yeah. fucking CANCER. TWICE, is actually pretty good. idk. maybe thats just me.

anyways 2021-2022 have been big ass FML years and i just want it to stop. god if you're real you're a bitch.

#margaret babbles #personal bs #ok so maybe im a little pissed today but uh its super annoying that my parents cant stop reversing around to the whole #i am wasting my youth™ and i have nothing to show for myself because i don't have full time employment or enrollment in grad school #and im not ambitious and focused on earning more $#is very annoying. i am trying. sure its not great. sure i haven't attempted the 2 things y'all want #but like for now i think im still like in survival mode because i am becoming a part-time professional sick person #hate it here #cw: cancer #other shit ive done since leaving college is paying off $17k in student loans #and saving $18k in savings #which i am actually proud of tbh

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