#i am very well aware a lot of trans people do not want anyone to engage with the hp world at all which is a valid opinion and by all means

[redbuddi]

Do NOT Read "Lady Crystal is a Man"

People who know me know that I'm a little bit of a webtoon addict. I'm basically always reading a million different fantasy romances, even as someone who is not personally interested in romance in real life. Because of this, I am well aware of the more problematic elements of a lot of webtoons, to the point where it's easier to list webtoons that aren't problematic than to name ones that are. It's unfortunate, but it's a common aspect of webtoon consumption that most people get used to. (Note: When I say webtoons, I am talking about the genre of phone-optimized romance webcomics as a whole, not just things from the WEBTOON app. The series in question is on Tapas.)

Because of that, I will admit it is partially on me for assuming this comic was going to be more progressive than it actually was. People new to webtoons may be fooled, but I should have known better. On top of that, I am well aware that female-oriented romance stories can sometimes be a little toxic, and while this is a problem that needs to be worked on, I also know about what can happen when something meant for teenage girls is criticized. Even when the criticism is in good faith, it can start a trend of bashing anything teenage girls like and shaming them for wanting to explore media that is anything but flawless. I don't want to add to that.

But this series isn't just a little problematic. It doesn't just have some questionable elements or common plot failings. This is a series that has the potential to seriously hurt anyone who is trans, gnc, or gender questioning, and could give anyone who isn't any of those things the wrong idea about what is and isn't appropriate when it comes to trans/gnc/gender questioning individuals.

If you would like the td;dr, then in a nutshell this comic portrays material that could make an individual feel shame, discomfort, or even body dysmorphia. And on top of that the protagonist is cruelly gaslit and manipulated in ways that the series presents as if it were just light teasing, and that is all only in the 19 chapters that I was able to stomach before dropping the series entirely.

If you would like a more detailed description of this series' flaws, then I will continue below the cut.

cw: transphobia, body dysmorphia, gaslighting

Lady Crystal is a Man follows the story of a man raised as a woman attempting to escape a forced marriage by going to the mysterious and dangerous duke Illian, unaware that Illian is secretly a woman. The story is essentially a combination of two tropes, the Crossdressing Romance trope, where the main character and/or their love interest is secretly not the gender they present themselves as, a trope which has been around for as long as female-oriented comics has existed, and something a little more specific to webtoons (to my knowlege,) the Contract Marriage trope, wherin the protagonist escapes a bad situation by entering a temporary marriage with someone else, only for true romance to bloom between them. I have read many webtoons about Contractual Marriages, but not very many about crossdressing. As a nonbinary person, I tend to be uncomfortable with the highly traditional way many webtoons portray gender roles, and so I try to steer clear of series that tackle gender directly, but that is not to say no webtoon as ever handled it well. In particular one of my favorite webtoons, Alien Idol, tackles gender in an extremely understanding and informative fashion, even taking the time to acknowledge places where it's knowledge is lacking, which I've never seen a comic do so honestly before. Most webtoons are not like this, unfortunately, but that is only to my knowledge, and recently I've been wanting to expand my horizons a little bit. How can I be sure so many comics handle it poorly if I don't even read them for myself, after all? That is what convinced me to check out Lady Crystal is a Man.

In the first few chapters I was hooked. The series has extremely good artwork, and it first appeared to me that they might be trying to do a metaphor for t4t couples. Crystal is constantly coached on how to act and behave as a woman, because if he lives as a man he will be killed by his cruel and uncaring family. He takes a drug to halt his growth, and this drug is actively harming him, he is literally being torn up from the inside having to live as something he is not. He envies masculine traits he observes in others, and dreams of running away to live with the people who truly love him, cutting his hair short, and living as himself. It's because of this that I made the mistake of buying multiple chapters in advance instead of just waiting for them to unlock, and that's why I read so far into this series when normally I would have dropped it the moment it started to go downhill. Anyway, Crystal meets duke Illian, and already a connection is established by the narrative in how the two have had to live in fear of being who they really are. And at this point I was ready for them to start relating to each other and forming a bond.

This does not happen. Not really, anyway.

Illian tricks Crystal into thinking that the marriage paperwork went through extremely fast, and that they are now husband and wife. This is a red flag, but in the same chapter Illian reveals that she's just teasing Crystal as payback for trying to trick her, and that she will fully support Crystal's escape to be with her family as soon as the snow clears up. But then she doesn't. Even when Crystal admits the truth to her, and the snow clears up, Illian maintains the facade that they are married and that Crystal will have to keep staying with them until the annulment paperwork can go through. This happens because Crystal, under the impression that they are really married and that he has tricked Illian into falling in love with him only to have her heart broken, decides to take responsibility for his actions instead of running away like he originally planned. And Illian, hearing this, continues to lie to Crystal about their being married. This establishes a pattern that will continue from here: Crystal will show genuine care and consideration for others, and will be rewarded for it by being continuously manipulated by the people around him.

It's at this point that Illian finds out that Crystal is not a cis male. Not because Crystal told her, mind you, but because Crystal faints due to side effects from the drug he is taking, and Illian, who has taken the same drug, recognizes them. At first this is fine to me. I like that Illian does not get angry or upset, or even wants to confront Crystal on this, and at first I thought it was because Illian respected Crystal's boundaries and would only acknowledge it if Crystal decided to tell her. She even continues to refer to Crystal with female pronouns, even when she deduces that Crystal might be living as a woman just to not be killed in the battle for succession. But then, Illian decides to "make sure" that Crystal isn't cis. And while we aren't directly shown, it is heavily implied that Illian looked under Crystal's nightgown to see his genitals.

There had been one or two red flags up to this point. In particular, focus on the size of Crystal's hands. This was off putting to me, as this is something that could hurt people. Even people who aren't transfeminine could be hurt by this, the fact that having bigger hands than what is considered "normal" for a woman and how this is treated like a clue to Crystal's gender identity is something that would hurt anyone who identifies as a woman but doesn't fit what is considered a normal body standard. Focus on hands is even something that can be a big dogwhistle for TERFs, although I don't suspect the author is a TERF since I'm fairly certain this is a Korean comic, and I don't know what the discourse on gender in Korea is like.

Regardless, even with my growing suspicions, this was a massive shock. Crystal was unconscious at the time, unable to consent. This is unambiguously a massive violation, but the comic portrayed it as just a silly, over-the-top bit of shenanigans by our female lead. I know for a fact that this wouldn't have happened if the genders were swapped, in every webtoon I've read people who try to look under women's skirts are treated as disgusting perverts. But because Crystal is a man, suddenly it's cute and funny when his privacy is undermined. And this is the turning point where the series goes from a seemingly flawed but earnest attempt at a trans metaphor to a showcase of the most disgusting abuse I have ever seen in a story, all written as though it were just silly antics by people who are ultimately in the right.

Soon Illian and the doctor she had look at Crystal begin internally referring to him with masculine pronouns, all without asking if it's what Crystal wants to be seen as. As the doctor mulls over Crystal's potential circumstances, she thinks "Few people pretend to be the other gender, even fewer do so against their will," the series acknowledging the existence of trans people, but only as "petenders." And again, this is before they even know for sure if Crystal is doing this against his will. All the while, Crystal is portrayed in more and more infantalizing ways. He plays with snow like a child. He doesn't understand basic social cues, or even that people might be lying when they speak to him. He accepts everything Illian tells him without checking, even when he knew going into this that he would need to be careful. Illian secretly alters Crystal's communication devices so that she can see everything that Crystal says when he sends out messages to his friends in the east, who are waiting to take him in, unaware that he has been manipulated into staying against his wishes. Illian is drawn in by the way Crystal wears his heart on his sleeve, and doesn't want to let him go, even though she knows that Crystal has a home somewhere else. Crystal is prevented from escaping, and isn't even giving the courtesy of knowing that he is a prisoner.

There is another character in the comic, a cook who is portrayed as being large and strong, completely unfeminine despite being female. For one thing she's a show of hypocrisy, a cis female is a female, without question even if they don't fit eurocentric standards of femininity, but a trans female has to pass these standards with flying colors, and even then they don't really count. But there is another thing about this character. She is regularly referred to as a "monster" for her immense strength, size, and endurance. She owns it, seeming to be perfectly content with it, but not all real people who look like this would enjoy being called that. I feel that this is another acknowledgement of the other, that yes there are cis people who also don't perfectly fit their expected appearances, but they're not normal. They are exceptions. Monsters.

And then came the chapter that made me drop this series for good, completely overwriting my buyers remorse with disgust. Illian has to leave for a mission, and had instructed the Doctor to take away the drug that Crystal is using to maintain a feminine body. The doctor confronts Crystal, telling him that she "knows" he's a man, and blackmails him, threatening to tell Illian if Crystal doesn't hand over the drug. In exchange, the doctor gives Crystal a magic ring that she says will make other people perceive him as female. This is already bad for a few reasons, namely that even during this confrontation, the doctor never asks Crystal if he truly identifies as a woman or not. If Crystal did identify as a woman, then the ring would be a terrible trade. A person who wants to look at themselves as feminine does not do so in the hopes that other people will see them the same way. While the perception of others is certainly a concern, the main consideration is if the person sees themselves as feminine. A ring that only allows other people to see them as feminine would certainly be useful for people who don't want to be misgendered or seen in a way they don't want to be seen, but it wouldn't be an adequate replacement if it wouldn't help the wearer get a body that makes them comfortable. At best it would just be a supplement to something else.

But worst of all, it's all a lie. The ring doesn't actually work. It's all a trick to get Crystal to give up the drug. Yes the drug is harmful to Crystal, and Crystal himself doesn't want to take it, but as far as the Doctor knows Crystal could be trying to appear feminine for his own reasons. But without even consulting him, Illian and the doctor assume they know what's best for Crystal and trick him into giving up what could very well be the thing making him happy and comfortable in his own skin. Imagine how horrific things would be for Crystal if that was the case. Seeing his body change in ways he does not want, entirely against his will, and since the ring doesn't actually work his transformation would be fully visible to everyone around him. But instead of asking what if he wants this, Illian and the doctors decide to play the odds, and this is written as though they're being helpful by doing this. To add insult to injury, the doctor internally criticizes Crystal for accepting the trade without questioning it, seemingly forgetting that Crystal was essentially forced into it.

For obvious reasons, this was the point where I had had enough. This was abuse, plain and simple. Yes characters are not real people, and there is a place for stories that tackle things like abuse and manipulation, but this series never acknowledges the horror of what it's characters are doing, treating these things as though they're just cute and quirky romcom gags, maybe not normal but ultimately harmless. Meanwhile in the real world, these things are deeply harmful and hurtful to the readers of this series, especially those who, like the characters of the story, are forced to live in identities that are not themselves.

It's pretty common for webtoons to tackle things like this without really knowing what they're doing, and usually I'm able to shrug it off and keep reading, even if still criticizing it, as long as it seems the writers have the best of intentions. Making mistakes is how we learn, after all, and a lot of webtoons are written by young adults living in conservative societies who just need the chance to see other people's experiences. But there is a point where I draw the line, and that is when there is no perceivable compassion whatsoever for the types of people they are portraying. As I mentioned, the comic clearly shows an understanding that there are people who do not live as the gender that they are assigned at birth. But it does not see them as people. Even beyond the "pretend" line, gender is portrayed as concrete, inescapable, with terrible consequences for trying to change it. It portrays transfeminine people as clueless, weak, and unable to decide for themselves what's good for them, and illustrates anyone who doesn't fit typical standards of appearance as a strange and terrifying other that shouldn't be considered on the same level as everyone else. In general webtoons already have a massive issue with beauty standards, (don't even get me started on the way fat people are usually written,) but this is a whole other level of cruelty. While this comic was probably not specifically made to harm people, it takes careful steps to put people it doesn't like "in their place." It wants you to feel bad about yourself. This comic and comics like it should never be supported, not just for political reasons, but because, like it's characters, this comic is trying to enforce ideals that it feels for best for you, regardless of if it's what you actually want. And no one deserves to be hurt like that.

So if you see this comic or a comic like it, I encourage you to turn away. If they won't portray us as human, then we don't have any obligation to give them our support.

#webtoon #tapas #lady crystal is a man #long reads

[thisdoodler]

Ok, so I’m seeing a lot of people making posts about why Vil is a complex character and they don’t understand the hate he gets, so

I’m going to make a post as to why I can’t like Vil.

I want to make this clear before I begin. I do not hate or dislike Vil, actually I appreciate how complex he is as a character, it’s just that I can’t like him.

And the reason is his relationship with Epel.

I’m going to start this off by saying I’m genderqueer (They/Them) and that I’m aware Vil isn’t transphobic but honestly some of his and Epel’s interactions just remind me too much of it, if that makes sense.

Why? You may ask, well:

He forces Epel to wear make up when Epel makes it clear he doesn’t like it.

He forces Epel to wear feminine clothes when Epel makes it clear he doesn’t like it.

He forces Epel to act in a traditionally feminine manner when Epel makes it clear he doesn’t like it.

All of this just reminds me way too much of a transphobic parent trying to force their kid into the role of their assigned sex.

And like,

I’m aware it has more to do with the way Twisted Wonderland was written, but it’s just something that eats away at me when I think of Vil. I am never going to be able to see it as anything else no matter how much I try.

And I know Epel has some issues with toxic masculinity. I know all too well, because they are almost the exact same things I did before I realized and came out as genderqueer.

I used to dress traditionally masculine, did the “tough” voice and speech, I used to wear sports bras just a bit too tight to make myself look flatter (practice safe binding kids), I used to hate on traditional femininity, and so much more and it reminds me a lot of Epel.

I dont headcanon Epel as FTM (I actually kind of dislike it but I feel like that’s a post for another day.) but his struggles are very similar to trans struggles and Vil acts in a very similar manner to transphobic parents.

(Also if you headcanon Epel as FTM, I don’t dislike you, because I understand that there’s not a lot of trans representation and a good portion of this post is about how Epel is trans coded.)

For me to like Vil I need just some sort of acknowledgment from the narrative that Vil is wrong for forcing Epel to play a role he doesn’t want, because right now it feels like the story is saying he’s right and it makes me like him even less. It makes me feel like they’re saying that Epel’s gender dysphoria will go away with time as he accepts his feminine appearance and, from my personal experience, that’s not really how it works????

If I’m wrong please let me know. But like, when I’m dressed femme and my gender is more masc that day, no matter how comfortable I would be in that outfit if my gender was femme, I feel dysphoric.

Also before anyone says “but you think Epel is cisgendered! How can he experience gender dysphoria???”

So, anyway, that’s why, for the moment, I can not like Vil.

Also, please, do not use this to spread any hate about Vil Shoenheit. Like I said, I don’t hate his character, I just really dislike how this part of the story is being handled. I should also mention I haven’t read Chapter 6 yet, so I don’t actually know if this issue is properly being dealt with there. I will reboot this when I have read it and say whether I have changed my mind or not. Thank you.

#twisted wonderland #TWST #twst character analysis #twst epel #twst vil #vil shoenheit #epel felmier #pomfiore

[poppyandzena]

I've noticed you mentioning that many creators have covered the P&Z stuff, and that many have gotten the details wrong. What would *you* recommend creators focus on? Is there a specific order of events you'd recommend? For context, I'm a trans man in the creator space. Relatively small, but I also have BPD (and many other things) and am polyamorous and I hate how Poppy is playing into all the negative stereotypes. I want to help. Especially because one of Poppy's victims was a very close friend of mine. I'm currently working on a video essay script about the situation. If you, or anyone else wants to reach out, I'd greatly appreciate it, but I'm well aware that everyone's spoons are lacking right now so no pressure.

The main problem is a lack of organization. Many creators think they can gloss over an introduction and then dive into the docs, and most of the misinformation is in that expositional intro. But when you do that, you make yourself and the situation as a whole look less credible.

And, frankly, covering everything Poppy and Zena have done in a single stream will contribute to this unless you are especially dedicated. Luxander spent a LOT of time asking for clarification and organizing its points so that their arguments made sense.

Here's some facts I've noticed streamers get wrong, at least when they first cover it. I'll list them so creators have a cheat sheet:

Poppy is an AMAB transgender woman who has recently undergone bottom surgery. The bottom surgery is important to note as Poppy regards intercourse with Noeh as "her first time." This is her having vaginal intercourse for the first time, which is something she places value in regards to her trans experience. Poppy has used this as emotional leverage to paint Noehflake as a malicious person who took her virginity and left.

-

The entirety of the relationship with Noehflake lasted approximately four months and ended in late December 2023. Poppy wanted Noehflake to move in with her either at or a little under the two month mark. I find this extremely important as it highlights how quickly Poppy tries to enmesh herself into people's lives. I personally think its a combination of typical BPD attatchment issues and lovebombing to speed up the process and "skip steps," something Poppy ironically has called out in other people.

-

Poppy is NOT Spawn (her kid's) biological parent. Poppy was present since Spawn was in utero and took up the role of their father before she transitioned. Spawn's mother died in a horse riding accident at around age 3/4, during which Poppy became their sole caretaker.

-

PLEASE stop headlining your videos with "child abuse." It's inaccurate. As much as I do not like PZ, we have to be correct with how we criticize them. Spawn was not a minor during the time the abuse ocurred. Spawn has also stated PZ have NEVER sexually abused them and that their childhood was relatively fine before Zena arrived. Please stick to what was alleged. Call it "parental abuse" to be accurate, please. Child abuse brings to mind a minor being harmed which is not accurate to this situation.

-

Spawn was NOT coined by Poppy. That's the name Spawn gave themselves so their privacy would be respected, something Poppy purposefully violates online to endager them.

-

Spawn is a 24 year old they/them nonbinary person with POTS, which severely impacts their cardiovascular system and makes labor and even basic tasks difficult. Around 2022 when the brunt of the abuse ocurred, Spawn was around 5ft and 80lbs. They claim a doctor cleared them of health issues in relation to being 80lbs and that it wasn't a weight Poppy and Zena starved them to. I personally find issue with a 5ft person being 80lbs in general and believe it was a contributing factor to their chronic pain, but I do not believe they were at a higher weight and PZ starved them TO that point. I believe they were naturally lithe, but that PZ did absolutely nothing to help manage Spawn's weight as the crux of their abuse was food restriction. According to Spawn, their weight has steadily increased as they've gotten older which I can relate to. Being at that weight puts stress on your body, but to add POTS on top of it significantly disables you.

-

Spawn has autism and a dissociative disorder, the latter of which Poppy has gaslit Spawn into underplaying in spite of a mental health professional agreeing with Spawn. (This is in the Spawn doc) This disorder is OSDD-1B which Spawn met the criteria for (fact checked with Spawn), which is a disorder that is often obtained through significant, persistent, or otherwise intense trauma. This is ESPECIALLY concerning to me as someone who has researched DID and the sister disorders since I was 15. I have a space in my heart reserved for those people as DID is one of the most misunderstood and culturally manipulated disorders since it's "debut" with the book Sybil. I digress, but the fact that Poppy refuses to see eye to eye with Spawns dissociative disorder despite allegedly having one herself is concerning.

-

Poppy alleges she was diagnosed with OSDD, Otherwise Specified Dissociative Disorder. I myself have actually made the mistake of saying she has DID. The two are different, but under the same umbrella. OSDD is sort of the "misc." option when you don't meet the full critera of DID and you don't qualify for psychotic disorders. I actually believe OSDD is more prevalent than classic DID due to the fact that disorders are spectrum-based and can be highly specific to the person if they are traumagenic. People with OSDD tend to have alters like DID, but there is a distinct lack of amnesia between alters and a lack of amnesia blackouts. These people will still dissociate to a degree that counts as a disorder. I have known people with OSDD and it is very real and oftentimes painful, coming to terms with the fact that you've been so traumatized that it necessitates dissociating from reality. It is not fun at its core and I do not wish that on anyone, but it doesn't mean these people aren't valid if they embrace or highlight the positive aspects of their condition to cope.

What makes me sussy-wussy is Poppy's insistence as a "professional" to conflate OSDD/DID with Tulpamancy, the former being traumagenic and the latter being pseudo-spiritual. The topic of endogenic vs. traumagenic alters is one I do NOT want to debate here. I will say I dont appreciate when she combines medically recognized disorders with spirituality, as doing so can contribute to misinformation that we ALREADY have to deal with. If you believe in tulpamancy, I won't argue with you, but you have to be precise in the language you use as to not spread misinfo. Sometimes people have traumagenic disorders that they frame with a spiritual lense, which I can respect, but please be mindful when comparing your experience with others. That's all I ask.

-

Noehflake, Hayleigh, is a transgender woman who also has a dissociative disorder with at least one alter. In the docs, this alter is referred to as "Max." That is not their current name and I do not feel comfortable airing it out. Hayleigh is not a separate alter to "Noehflake." Hayleigh is simply Noehflake's name. Their experience is not fun and Max has to intervene in especially stressful situations. Hayleigh dissociates, and you can tell in her dedicated doc just how much Poppy and Zena disregard her pain and push her into dissociating more.

-

Also if I have to hear someone pronounce Noehflake as "Noh-ee-flake" I'm going to eat my fucking hands. It's nitpicky but it's aggravating to listen to over and over. It's pronounced "Noh-flake." Like snowflake. I've made the mistake of pronouncing it as "No-ah-flake." Just saying "Noh" is fine.

-

Zena is an AFAB transmasc person with agender qualities that goes by they/them, though I have heard they have given the "she/her pass" to close people. Stick with they/them, out of basic respect and to prevent confusion. Zena is significantly younger than Poppy, to the point where an anon pointed out they have less than a decade difference in age from Poppy's child. I can't believe I have to specify this, but Zena is NOT the biological father/mother of Poppy's child. I heard that in one of the worst videos covering this topic and I had to leave out of pure frustration.

-

Dormiyu is the asexual victim that Poppy and Zena brought to their house. Dormiyu uses it/its pronouns. Poppy wants you to think there was only one instance where Poppy walked out in her underwear to get clothes and Dormiyu freaked out. There were two instances. One was when she was in her set of underwear and Dormiyu looked away, to which Poppy chided it for its "asexual bullshit." The second incident involved Dormiyu being in her office. Poppy entered the office with her bare breasts out and sat in front of Dormiyu to get it to notice her. This, obviously, made Dormiyu very uncomfortable, to which Poppy argued that they "were just tits." I don't have to go into fine detail as to why showing your bare breasts to a guest in your home is inappropriate, especially when the guest does not have the transportation to leave your house. Poppy has since blackmailed Dormiyu into deleting everything as it is an immigrant and her delving into its personal life on stream would not only put Dormiyu at risk of doxxing, but at risk of deportation. You will find the archive of Dormiyu's testimony in my masterlist.

-

This is especially important to highlight. Poppy admitted in a video to "reproducing" CSA onto a family member. To others, this may seem like a smoking gun. Unfortunately, this is a case I cannot in good conscience speculate on. I can't. One, we ONLY have Poppy's vague testimony on camera. Any surrounding info is secondhand. Second, we do not know if this victim wants their story told by us. I'm not sure they even know who we are. I cannot perpetuate what is essentially a ghost of an accusation when I do not know if the victim is even comfortable having that public. All I can say is that I do not trust Poppy. We have so much more tangible evidence to prove Poppy is all-around abusive, and I will stick to what has been substantiated.

Thank you for listening to me. I know this is a lot and some of it seems pedantic, but I care a lot about how we cover this.

#poppy #poppy and zena #zena and poppy #poppy diabolique #ladydiabolique #poppy & zena #zenaandpoppyonyoutube #zena #spawn #nf

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Only Friends Reflection

Okay, I have been thinking about what I want to write for the finale, and I have too many small threads of a couple different essays, so instead I will just write my own reflection. 

I did not want Top and Mew or Sand and Ray to end up together, but am not mad at Only Friends for ending with those couples in happy relationships specifically, and literally only because I was like 99% certain GMMTV would not allow ForceBook and FirstKhao to be separated. Those are couples that should not be together, but something has to get pulled out of someone’s ass because Jojo and co set out to write one show with non-branded actors, and while they absolutely are not blameless for the fumbles in the finale that undermined the rest of the show, I do think they probably got corralled in to certain themes and endings by the studio. I do not think they navigated the transition between the themes and endings super well. 

I thought about writing an essay on the trend I noticed around kissing. Namely that Nick and Boston have a conversation where we learn that Boston views sex and love as distinct, and that the emotional aspect of relationships is what should separate boyfriends from one sex partners. But that is not the case for Nick, and he has a difficult time conceptualizing this view of physical intimacy while in a relationship with someone. And how that conversation around kissing people who aren’t your boyfriend was sandwiched between a threeway kiss between boyfriends Sand and Ray with Boeing, and Mew daring Sand to kiss his boyfriend, Top. 

I thought about writing an essay about how NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN MORE RIGHT THAN ME, RE: COMMODIFICATION OF SAND. Ray and Boeing both referred to Sand as a dog, Sand literally referred to himself as being owned. Ray wants to go in to business with Sand. From beginning to end Ray has regarded Sand as an object that he owns, and this has been one of the more consistent threads throughout the show. At least Sand is aware of this. I will say one of the most egregious things for me in this entire episode was the literal “SandRay” conversation. Like???

And finally, I will not begrudge anyone, nor will I try to convince anyone to read the finale the way I am here, because every single take about the narrative punishing Boston is completely valid. I see it, I understand it, a lot of me feels it. And also, I think that what happened to Boston is unfair, and that if we are feeling like it is unfair that does a job of demonstrating that Boston’s friends are shitty and judgemental about his sex life and that we don’t treat sluts fairly. I also just like…have not at any point liked Mew, Top, or Cheum as people and as mad as I am that no one apologized to Boston for the sex tape bullshit they put him through? Am I surprised? No. I did not expect them to ever admit to being wrong, because I have seen how they have handled every other mess they have gotten themselves in to. The narrative is absolutely punishing Boston, and while I still have a hard time looking at the extensive history of Jojo and Ninew’s previous works, that they themselves would believe that sluts should be punished. But I understand how it reads, and will allow for both a criticism of their writing that if they didn’t want that to be a take away, they needed to be clearer, and also am not going to fight people saying that Jojo, Ninew, or Den think that way. I mostly just worry that if Jojo and co are seen as being anti-slut/sex-negative that people whose first exposure to their work is Only Friends will not watch their other work. 

Which is a damn shame, because The Warp Effect and 3 Will Be Free are very good pieces, and very important in terms of pushing GMMTV’s boundaries on including sex, having a polyamorous and open relationship, and including trans women who are allowed to be complex, and not just act as a minor character. It was also pointed out to me that TWE and 3WBF, which I hold are some of the queerer stories from GMMTV I’ve seen, are not listed as BLs and therefore may not be subject to some of the same expectations. Those also didn’t use branded pairs. 

Ultimately, to come at this from an assets based approach, regardless of the feelings around the end of the show, I do think that Only Friends served to push some of GMMTV’s boundaries, I want the branded pairs done away with, and I low key hope some of the negative reactions to the ending of this show where the branded pairs get their happy endings will serve to demonstrate to GMMTV that sometimes, maintaining their brands…is worse. 

But the pairs probably bring in too much money for them to care.

#only friends the series #ofts #only friends

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

To be more clear about the situation, as far as I can tell most of the trans women who received that copypasta are very outspoken about transmisogyny, so it's not so weird to see that they would find something more or less saying "I'm diagnosing you with being a radfem, the only cure is me fucking you" to be an act of transmisogyny (the same way if a cis guy told a cis woman "shut up about feminism and let's fuck" it would be seen as... Well definitely not very progressive).

That being said you weren't privy to any of that so it's silly that they keep acting like the way you reacted to a stupid ask targeted at YOU (and only you as far as you were aware) is evidence of bigotry.

If I don’t follow every trans woman and like all of her posts and read them thrice before bedtime I am transmisogyny incarnate.

Joking of course but on a serious note this handful of people acting as though they speak for every trans woman on the planet? Weird behavior. Especially when using it to not only assume but insist they know my gender based on arbitrary characteristics of what they saw me type on my blog.

I’m going to be fully honest here, I do think the person spreading the copypasta is one of their own clique trying to legitimize a lot of what they assert about TME people as a whole, trans men in particular. I’ve seen plenty of other groups do the same before, not that unrealistic to say it’s what happened here. Especially considering the over the top response to it that I can’t recall ever seeing for any other obvious copypasta trolling before.

Not that I can prove any of that of course. I will say though as a generalized piece of advice to anyone who gets weird messages like that: the only way to win with a troll is to troll. If you respond to them in any way that takes their bait seriously, you’re giving them what they want. They want to hurt and upset you. They want to make you look foolish in a big grandiose and angry response they can show their friends and laugh about. They like having that power over a stranger’s emotions because they really don’t have much else going on.

So you can either ignore their bait and move on so they spend days refreshing your blog and fuming that you aren’t rewarding their efforts with a response, or you can “yes, and” them as part of the joke which instead makes them look foolish because it turns the joke around on them and shows the person they wanted to mock isn’t fazed by their goading. I tend to prefer the latter because it’s more fun. See an obvious troll ask prescribing me getting sucked silly by a nice tboy or two to “fix” whatever politics I have that they don’t like? Lean into the bit, demand and beg frantically for them to show me how to find these tboys to do just that.

There’s no reason to take anyone who sends you troll bait seriously, so why not have a little fun instead of playing into their hand?

[genderstealer2000]

How do you start gender hoarding? I know that it might sound like a stupid question, but you see, I live in a place where trans people and nbs are looked down upon but lesbians and gays are ok. (rural Australia)

I felt weird coming out to my bf as a demigirl( I am AFAB) and he knows I’m a furry, but doesn’t know about my alter humanity (questioning therian)

So my view of gender is very “traditional” and where I live there’s only really female, male, trans and (very rare) nonbinary. I also have highly suspected autism/ self diagnosed yet I don’t see gender in a way I hear people with autism do, probably due to my upbringing

I want to know from a person like you who knows the “newer” ways of gender how I should gender hoard and not stick myself to just the traditional genders

its not a stupid question at all!! ill do my best to answer! so i identify as agender transmasc. agender goes under the trans umbrella and nonbinary, but i dont see myself as gender neutral i just have no gender. now going more into the transmasc, just means i feel more masculine. doesnt really effect the way i present my gender any differently, hmm i guess i dont really know how to explain it. i dont understand the concept of gender, i dont understand a lot of social constructs, i honestly think its sort of unneeded. my gender is complex in the most noncomplex way, its vast and its tiny. ive made my own genders based off of feelings and intrests, i think thats the best way to get started with genderhoarding. making your own ideas, analyzing yourself. (personally its helped me become more aware of who i am!) imaginationnnnn!! creativity!! make something up, no ones stopping you! the way i view gender is its what makes you, you. it doesnt have to make sense to anyone but you. it doesnt have to make sense! some of the things i tie in with my gender are the rustling of leaves in a forest, fog in the early morning, large fields, chaotic music, soft stuffed animals, the smell of pavement after it rains, soft piano music, acoustic guitar, the moon some of those things are real different!! and those are some of the things that i view my gender as! i think its a lot easier too with the internet, theres a ton of people who have similar ideas and interests so they also make genders, sexualities, and flags to go along with them.

i have a board on pinterest that i frequently add stuff to, i could link it here if you would like! i also save just anynthing that pops up if it remindes me of my friends or it seems cool. it doesnt mean i identify with it, but its cool to read about them! i keep track of them in a notebook as well!! my genders relate to my hyperfixations, mostly. Hyperfixations and anything that i can relate too! ex. horrormasc: a masculine aligned horrorgender. fits both definitions (1: a horrifying/all over the place gender, and 2: a gender related to different horror genres) raingender: a xenogender connected to the rain scenekid/scene neutral, oldwebemoic, onlineboyic, endspacic etc, etc. dont feel rushed at all to tell your boyfriend! when i started feeling more comfortable telling people, i made sure to have articals pulled up to read, notes etc. so it would be easier to sort me thoughts? get it out more smoothly. i also wanted to talk about self-diagnosing!! i hear so much negative about it, but honestly, its good to research and try and find out things about yourself. that my opinion. and not for longterm, just for a bit until you can get evaluated. gahhhhh self diagnosing is valid and it makes me so mad to see people who think its not. granted, some people to just see a couple things and "oh yup got that" but when you really spend time looking at signs, symptoms, traits it can be very beneficial in the long run, and also just to check before you go get evaluated also i apologize if this is insanely long, or if it makes no sense. im sleep deprived, im trying to fall asleep gahh i hope this helped even a little bit!! if you want me to expand on anything or explain anything further feel free to dm me!

#otherkin #therian #alterhuman #therianthropy #wolf therian #canine therian #canine kin #dog theriotype #otherkin community #dog otherkin #gender hoard #xenogender safe #xenos #xenogender #xeno coining #mogai #mogai coining #mogai safe #neopronouns #neos

[triple-a-aro]

thanks for turning on anon asks!! i dont want to get this linked back to my actual account where i try to keep things pretty discourse-free. what i wanted to say is that i really get where yr coming from with the falling into transmasc vs transfem thing??? i find myself going oh no thats a trans woman so shes not gonna like me a lot and then i feel really guilty abt it so its good to know that other transandro bloggers are aware of that whole thing. how do you keep yrself from falling into those thinking patterns?

No problem at all, anon! I understand that this can be a topic that you don't necessarily want. attention. on you. Perfectly valid to keep yourself safe.

This touches on something that I've been realizing more often for myself, though! When you are educating yourself on topics such as transandrophobia, the loud and vocal minority of transandrophobes are likely to speak up in comments and replies of posts doing so, which makes it seem like they're everywhere. Much like vocal transphobes, we must remember that this is a minority; most people may not have even heard of transandrophobia, but I'm sure they'd agree that "trans men experience oppression for being trans men that other trans people don't experience". Because that's common sense.

The other reason I find myself falling into that pattern is the centering of trans women in these transandrophobia discussions. A lot of it ends up with people arguing if transmisogyny is worse or not, and I think that misses the entire point. But if you see these transandrophobes going on and on about trans women having it worse (and some of those people being trans women themselves who are lashing out for whichever reason), you're going to start connecting transandrophobia and trans women.

Which sucks. It really fucking does. The brain is equipped to notice patterns, and it's going to emphasize in accordance to how transandrophobes emphasize.

So how do I personally stop this from happening?

I follow trans women. Feels like a no-brainer, right? But recently I realized I was not following any trans education that was run by trans women, mostly because I had been scared of researching into the blogs themselves in case I found bigotry towards trans men, and I am not in the business of digital self-harm. If anyone has any good blogs feel free to drop them here, and I'll reblog!

If I feel myself getting incensed, I step back If you find yourself getting really mad, step back and ask yourself: - Where is this anger coming from? (At transphobia or has it been construed somehow?) - Where is this anger directed? (At transandrophobes, or at trans women?) - Who has posted this? (TERF psyops do exist, and if a blog is posting inflammatory content, they might be baiting you) - Is this user in the same circle as other transandrophobes? (There was a ring of particularly nasty transandrophobes that I blocked for mocking trans men and suggesting corrective sexual assault, and I have not found as many since)

Go to irl queer spaces. While this is not going to be a solution for everyone, I find stepping offline and talking to irl trans women is beneficial. Make friends with trans people! This discourse is so terminally online, and the only reason I participate in it is because I do what I can irl and therefore my only contribution is not arguing over discourse.

I also interact with other trans men who are normal about trans women as well. I hope this helps! Media literacy is good to practice, and I'm proud of you for owning up to something very hard, anon.

If we have any other suggestions, pop 'em down in the replies or reblogs!

#ask #anon #transandrophobia #transmisogyny #<- because the constant martyring of trans women the way that transandrophobes do it is. exactly that #transphobia

[tjmystic]

Before I say anything else, let me be clear that I support trans, nonbinary, and otherwise queer people. I support and want to validate the ways that they choose to present themselves and the things they need to make themselves feel like humans instead of weird dolls that someone slapped a gender onto arbitrarily. This is not a TERF post, I'm not interested in anything TERFs have to say.

Now, with that out of the way, I'm going to do a "woe is me, poor little privileged person" thing, and I'm well aware that it's going to sound dumb, but this blog is basically a virtual diary at this point, and, if you followed me, you signed up to sneak into my room with little flashlights and creep through the pages.

It is SO difficult to hold so-called "normal" or mainstream identities when, in large part, you don't want to have a community with any of the people who also hold such identities. And not just because of them. It's also because of people who are deemed transversive or abnormal. I recognize that this is a purely online problem and that most people who don't match the norm have to hide themselves away in fear lest they be attacked, but I'm not really interested in meeting or doing things with anyone in person, so virtual interaction is what I do. And because I reject everything fascist, white supremacist, evangelical, and misogynistic, most of my curated online experience is very queer. Usually, that's great. I'm not queer myself, but I usually feel like I have more in common with queer people than I do with other cis straights.

But not always.

Here's an example. I get that a lot of people hate the gender binary and find it oppressive. I completely agree that arbitrary gender roles are stupid. I also understand that gender isn't completely binary because, otherwise, nonbinary and agender people wouldn't exist. But people lose me when they say they want to abolish gender entirely. I am a woman and I like being a woman and I have always identified as either a girl or a woman. (Discounting one day when I was 4 and tried drawing hair on my chest with my mom's mascara because I COMPLETELY missed the point of Mulan and thought it meant you couldn't do cool stuff if you were or looked like a girl. My mom clarified things for me.) Taking that away from me would be taking away a big part of who I am and how I define myself. I don't even like the idea of anyone ever asking me about my pronouns, because the idea that someone couldn't be able to tell at first glance that I'm a woman makes me feel gross. Not because being anything besides a woman is gross, but because me being seen as anything other than what I am is. I already feel unsexy and ugly and unattractive on a daily basis, being mistaken for anything but a woman would just make that even worse.

On a similar note, I'm a monogamous person. I like the idea that other people have so much love to give that they don't want to be confined to a single romantic pairing. Sometimes. But, most of the time, hearing people openly describe their relationship goals with terms like, "I don't want to limit myself to one person" and, "It's stupid to think that one person can fulfill all of your emotional needs" is deeply depressing for me. It plants that seed of reminder that even people I think I have a kinship with would never think I'm enough in a relationship, that they would eventually get bored of me and want more because I just can't do it for them on my own. That is devastating to me.

Final example: I'm Christian. Literally no one needs me to explain why Christians are pretty much always the bad guys. Even I have a tendency to cringe away from or otherwise dismiss anyone who calls themselves Christian or talks about Jesus because I know the behaviors and attitudes associated with my religion. But it's still my religion. And seeing people call all religions cults, say we should do away with religion entirely, or claim that religion is the main source of people wanting to murder each other makes me want to bash my head against a wall.

But it doesn't feel like there's an alternative. I'm not talking to people who want to oppress or even murder trans and other queer people. I'm not participating in anything with people who think that enforced monogamy is a good thing. I don't actually see any kinship between myself and predominantly white nationalists who use Jesus as an excuse to do whatever the fuck they want. But it sometimes feels like the only alternative to that is being stuck in a weird "other" box.

I'm not expecting a reward for doing the bare minimum of rejecting the stupid and cruel parts of society. I'm not comparing my "struggle" or whatever to the genuine fear of assault and death that queer people have to deal with on a daily basis. It would just be nice if there was any kind of community that doesn't want to kill or hurt people but is also cool with liking some of the societal constructs we've been born with.

#no idea how to tag this #queer #queer community #anti terf

[my-castles-crumbling]

how does gender-dysmorphia exist?

what does feeling like a girl/boy/other mean?

do ppl mean that they feel like they belong to a certain group of people (gender-groups) by that,

that they want to be part of that group because they think it's fun and they don't like belonging to their born-with-gender-group?

or is it more of a general body-dysmorphia-thing, where one's ideal body type is just associated with a certain gender?

i'm a girl and i guess i feel like one? i feel kinda neutral towards my gender tho

so, why do people decide to change their gender?

Hi!

First of all, I want to make sure EVERYONE reading this is aware- I am not a professional nor am I the be-all end-all authority on gender. So if I get some of this wrong or you have a different experience, please let me know! Especially because this is a VERY deep question.

How does gender dysphoria exist? Well, to me, it's more of a why than a how. Gender dysphoria exists when people feel that their identity isn't reflected properly in their expression. It's a feeling of unease. It can vary on intensity from person to person and it can have physical symptoms or just be psychological.

When you ask about feeling like you want to be part of a group because it's fun versus actually feeling body dysphoria, let's pick that apart a bit:

In my experience, people who transition don't do it because they want to be a part of the group for the 'fun.' It's more an innate sense of- 'Hey. I should belong to that group.' Like everyone in your class went to lunch without you, and you're just sitting there alone. I think with your wording, you're making it seem like a whim, or something people do lightly. Most people don't come out as trans lightly, because being trans can be difficult in many ways (though it can be great, too!).

When you ask about body dysmorphia, It sounds like you're getting dysmorphia and dysphoria confused. Dysmorphia is looking at your body and not seeing it clearly. Anyone can have dysmorphia. Dysphoria is feeling like something doesn't match. In this case, it's a sense that your body, expression, or the way people are perceiving you doesn't match how you identify. Not every trans person has dysphoria, and it's not required to be trans, but it's very common. It's also not just caused by body parts- it can also be cause by being misgendered, wearing certain things, or other triggers.

I think the biggest question you asked is: what does feeling like a boy/girl/other mean? And it's not simple at all. Honestly, as someone who is genderfluid, I have a different relationship with gender. But in general, I think people who feel like girls, like being perceived as a girl. Or at least they are okay with it. Ugh, it's hard to even put into words. I feel like it's probably just an innate sense of.....yep. Girl. But it's also hard because some people are unsure about their gender, or they are genderfluid, like me!

When you say you're neutral about your gender, that's completely fine! Some people have a LOT more of a connection to their gender than others. Gender means a lot more to some people than others.

So, why do people change their gender? Because they realize, through self-reflection, that they don't identify as the gender they are assigned at birth. Maybe they experience dysphoria, maybe they experience gender envy, maybe they think about their feelings and realize they have a complicated relationship with gender (or maybe they experience all three of these, like me!). But people transition because, to them, it feels much more genuine and valid.

I hope this helps a little? Let me know if you have more questions!

#ask #asks #ask cas #trans stuff #transgender #transmasc #transfem #gender stuff #genderfluid #gender identity

[sol-draws-sometimes]

Disc World bookclub thoughts- Monstrous Regiment

Pages 12-20

Okay @anna-neko ��� and all the other people that found me(tho I’ll be writing to Anna here)

Buckle up cause I actually read more, so there’s A LOT more text!

Before I start, I'm fully aware that the book's premise is that the whole regiment turns out to be women in disguised(except one being trans??? That happens at the end so I won't bring that up till I get there). But for ease of talking, I will he/him everyone until they've been she/her-ed. Plus, there are other characters, so I could accidentally she/her a man thinking they would be one of the undercover women. So yah, following the pronouns corresponding to where I am in the book.

I wrote everything on a notes app while listening/reading, and then organized it. So my "knowledge" will flip flop since different parts were written at different points of reading. Also I’m playing around with the best way to show quotes. Okay here are my thoughts loosely organized:

—Critiques—

Some critiques. I want to start of with them so that we can end on a high note. At first it was hard for me to get that there were scene changes happening. Most books usually leave large space b/w the paragraphs, but at least in this digital book, it just looks like a normal paragraph spacing. And the audio book doesn't indicate that there's a scene shift, so there were a couple of times that I got lost because I didn't realize there was a new scene. Though I think I finally got it down how he switches from scenes, so I should be fine.

Also while I do like that he just says stuff, for example, him introducing Polly’s guy name by writing, "At least, Polly climbed out of the window, but it was Oliver’s feet that landed lightly on the ground," instead of saying, "she decided to call herself Oliver Perks.” At times I do need a bit more guidance. I can pick up stuff with context, but, sometimes it threw me off. For example, with the igor, while I would've gotten it eventually, I just decided to google it, because I was too distracted being confused to actually pay attention to the dialogue if that makes sense???? So I mostly like how he seamlessly intergrates new info, but sometimes I do feel like I'm going in blind, or suffering for not knowing about the previous books. Tho I will say the vampire lore was intergrated well. It's nothing so bad that it ruins the book for me since it's mostly executed well.

Side tangent, but I actually started the book by listening to it, so I actually didn’t catch the Olly name until I got to this line, “…but Polly was known to all the ferrymen by sight and the guard would want to see her permit to travel, which Oliver Perks certainly didn’t have.” I like this line! I mostly like when he does it, but yah, I get confused sometimes.

Okay on to stuff my other thoughts!

Short quippy stuff

Hee hee foreshadowing!

There was no question of anyone getting undressed.

I love that her nickname is Ozzer

Don't cry challenge(impossible)

AAAAH SHE GOT CAUGHT.

Nothing quippy, just a funny line:

Ugh. I hate strappi I hate Strappi I hate Strappi. Me and the boys hate Strappi.

You said these books are very pop-cultury. I'll say these aged well because I don't think I've caught any pop culture reference(or maybe I have without realizing) and I still find the book funny and it makes sense to me. So uh yah, go Terry Pratchett I guess.

—Longer thoughts—

Am I viewing everything as an American, or is this a reference to don't ask, don't tell??? I don't think so cause nothing else about it is queer coded and also Terry Pratchett is British, so there would be no reason for him to talk about that. My brain just short-circuited because it's a military book and I'm American 🙃

Thoughts on Maladict—

Maladict carries around silver-gilt coffee engine (which icon behavior) so idk how allergic he is to silver. Is he lying about the silver allergy or does he just suck it up for some coffee (cause if he does, again King behavior). I think my fav soldier rn is Maladict (can you tell???). Polly think's she's cool, but he's the actually cool one. Love his whole "even though I'm sobre from humans, it doesn't mean I can't/won't seriously fuck you up." I love when writers explore ethical vampires/vampires blending in with humans (I really should read vampire books).

I think the whole black ribbon thing is cool! I think there's a book that follows a vampire??? If you're down(and it makes sense), I'd love to read one of the vampire books since I'm already so intrigued by vampire society! Obviously after I'm done with this book

Thoughts I wrote about Jackrum—

Damn Jackrum has to keep telling Strappi to ease on the racism.

I like how Sargent Jackrum asked Polly if she was fine with fighting Strappi. I knew that his whole "stop being racist" is more of a "WE NEED MEN" than him actually caring about fantasy racism™️, or that's how I saw it at first at least. But now, I think there's a genuine side of kindness to him. So I'm excited to see more of that (be it, seeing more of his softer side or being proven wrong).

ALSO WHILE WRITING IN POLLY’S SECTION, I REALIZED THAT JACKRUM PROBABLY KNOW SHE'S A WOMEN!!!! Oh shit, maybe corpol too???? Definitely Jackrum I think!

"What's that?" said the corporal. "My signature," said Polly… "You can read and write, too?" said the sergeant, glancing up at them and then back to her.

THEY GOT SURPRISED THAT SHE KNEW HOW TO READ AND WRITE (an abomination for women). Also... I might have gotten slightly spoiled trying to draw Jackrum. I didn't read anything but I saw girl fanart of him???? I mean, I guess he's also part of the troop, I thought it was just the soldiers. HE MIGHT BE MYSTERY PERSON!!!! Anyways, this is for future me to figure out… So that's probably why he's nice to her. NOW I'M EXCITED TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT HIM. Before I got to the scene where Polly fights, I drew this cause I thought it was funny, while being slightly out of character. But now, I think this not that out of character (I'll have to see). Anyways have this shitty little doodle.

Thoughts on Polly—

I was very slow to realize that Polly's from Borogravia. As for why Polly joined, Polly definitely doesn't believe the propaganda, so my best guess is that she's going to try and find Paul. Reading about her missing Paul absolutely broke my heart. Though it's very interesting how also she was raised.

Also I got so scared when she got caught even tho I knew it would happen eventually, just didn't think it would happen THIS early in the book! I knew the moment mysterious person gave Polly the sock. I find it funny how Polly was like, “damn I thought I was cool mysterious kid". Her inner monologue is pretty funny.

I didn't ask you for one, Polly thought, quite annoyed at being taken for being a frightened young lad when she was sure she'd come over as quite a cool, non-ruffled young lad.

Also I'm pretty sure mystery person is a girl, cause I know the permis of the book so it makes this line funny

"Why, is this the escutcheon of Her Grace the Duchess I see in front of me?" said the whisperer. "Well, it won't be in front of me for long. Beat it ... boy."

Wrote this section on mystery person before the realization 🧍🧍🧍. Now I don't know. AAAAAAAAH.

Also, I'm glad that Polly gave Strappi a taste of his own medicine. Tho Private Parts is kinda funny 🏃🏃🏃. Insert: "that's a good joke, a great joke even, but I'm gonna have to ask you to stop,” audio. Seriously tho, it's pretty cool how Polly's experiences from her childhood with her dad and the other soldiers has helped her to blend in at this point. She was funny when she was like:

"I'll try not to hurt him either, Sarge," said Polly, and then cursed herself for the idiot bravado. It must have been the socks talking.

I read it twice and listened to it a 3rd time, since I had to write this and I laughed each time. I can't believe I find this dick joke so funny, I'm truly an immature child. Also fuck man. The way Polly saw people die, or just the discussions of how wars fucks people up. I have nothing insightful to say. Just, man, war's rough (<- biggest understatement of the century).

Other Book thoughts—

One thing I wasn't expecting, was for the crew to be made up of so many fantasy™️ creatures. But that one is fully on me since the book is called monstrous regiment. I guess I was so focused on what I've heard about the book, that I just completely glazed pass that. I see that there is some fantasy racism™️, so hopefully that's done well. I'm not saying it's always bad, but a lot of time people try to do metaphors, but it falls apart (ex: monster=racism allegory, when one of the characters is literally Mexican (and is brown). I'm not naming the name of the show on purpose). I do think it can be done well when you take the more, "prejudice is a thing, this is how it would play out with these creatures," and you don't make it a one-to-one with any particular minority. I feel like that's a more productive criticism of bigotry that can be applied to minority groups. I mean, I think there can be some one-to-one allegories that make sense, but it needs to be done carefully. I hope I'm making sense. But so far, I don’t see anything that bothers me. Just have my guard up a bit.

—✨Deeper✨ Thoughts on the book—

I kinda alluded to this in the previous review but yah, it's very interesting how Terry Prachet writes about war. I mean, I'm only 18, so I won't pretend to know much about the world, but I think this book has very strong themes about the dangers of nationalism and what not. And obviously he exaggerates it in the book, but it can be applied to a lot of modern situations. Side tangent, but I'm not really a patriotic person. I'm glad that my country has provided me better opportunities than my parent’s country, but I've always seen being so patriotic to a fault very weird. Also, this is clearly a criticism of the monarchy. "God save the duchess" like, come on. Down to this religious fervor they treat the duchess with, that they pray to it. I feel weird commenting too much, since I'm not as connected/involved/know too much about the politics of the monarchy (I mean technically the US is an ex-British colony, but rn relationship b/w the US and the UK is way better than other countries with the UK). All I'll say is that I don't care how nice she was, she was a colonizer and the monarchy has and continues to harm people to this day. Also back to nationalism, I've always hated the whole "people from this country suck". Like maybe the government sucks but you can never ascribe what the country does to the people of said place.

Honestly I feel weird commenting on this book in general, because I have barely any religious experience, haven't been too exposed to war, nor am I British (I mean this more in respect of the whole monarchy thing). Also, even though I'm a woman, I haven't felt much sexism. Like no cat-calling, most of the people respect me. Besides, "normal sexism," aka unconscious bias stuff like, "strong men help me pick the heavy stuff,” I don't think I have had any notable experiences of sexism or have seriously felt it in my life. So I feel like I can't give any deep observation about sexism or religion besides, yup that sounds right! Same with any the politics about war than, yup nationalism bad! I'm really aware that I'm just an 18 yr old who doesn't know much cause young people think they know everything (I mean that gets thrown a lot to invalidate young activists but there is a kernel of truth of: less experience=less knowledge of the world). Basically, I am noticing deeper themes in the book, but don’t expect me to talk about these parts if the book too much, because I don’t think I have anything productive to add. I just feel super unqualified to comment on much of this, and like I could be wrong about 100 different things I just said.

Umm… with that being said,

—Some quotes that I thought were interesting but I can't articulate why rn—

"At Paul's insistence, she'd read the whole of 'From the Mothers of Borogravia!!' to him, including the bits about heroes and there being no greater good than to die for your country. She wished, now, she hadn't done that. Paul did what he was told. Unfortunately, he believed what he was told, too."

"Several copies of the pamphlet seemed to have reached every home, even so. It was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing"

"She'd learned to read and write after a fashion because the inn was big and it was a business and things had to be tallied and recorded. Her mother had taught her to read, which was acceptable to Nuggan, and her father made sure that she learned how to write, which was not. A woman who could write was an Abomination Unto Nuggan, according to Father Jupe; anything she wrote would by definition be a lie."

"She'd be funny just as long as she was useless, and safe as long as she was funny." Ugh yah, some men get really threaten by women being better than them

Misc—

Thank goodness for the audio book. I love when authors write in the accents, I think it creates character and it's very creative... but I'm terrible at trying to understand what they're saying. I've been doing a mixture of audio book only, audio book plus text, and just reading text. Anyways, I was reading a line Strappi said where he was mocking Maladict and I literally couldn't understand it until I listened to that part later when I could use my headphones again.

"Private Bloodfnucker hnas a fnord, Fnargeant," he said accusingly.

This was the line btw. All hail audiobooks everyone 🧎🧎🧎

Also damn digital books and audio books help me actually pick up the book and it makes it a lot less intimidating. I like reading but, sometimes my brain views it as a chore. Like I used to start books, LIKE THEM, and then proceed to NOT finish them. I have been using audiobooks in the past but it was while reading the book, and almost never just the audiobook (unless I had didn't finish a chapter in time for class). But man, actually leaning into how my brain works makes it easier. Who would've thought! (Like I always forget how useful hearing the text it, even though I have been using this tip for years). So yah, even though I think I prefer the experience of physical books, I need to just let myself read the easiest ways to me. Audiobook only, has been nice since it takes the least amount energy, but it is the hardest for me to understand, especially if it gets too flowery/lore-y. So warning, I’ll miss small details because of this. I usually go back and skim the parts I did audio only, but I’ll still miss stuff.

Also, I'm using hoopla(and when the 21 days are up, my libby ver of the text should be available), but tip! If you like to annotate, download books on PDFs and annotate using the comments. Honestly, great with research papers too! I love to highlight with different colors and then you filter the annotations, amazing really. Obviously you can do this in irl books but I like that I can write more in the comment section thingy than in the margin of books.

But yah! I'm liking the book so far. I like how Terry Pratchett writes and I like Polly as a mc.

I will add alt text some other date cause I don't have the mental energy rn. If someone besides Anna find it and wants them, just @ me in the comment and I'll @ you when I finish this Also gonna add links to the previous and next review for better organization.

First | <-Previous | Next->

#my post #sol talks #long post #disc world #discworld #monstrous regiment #book club

[booksandpaperss]

some ramble-y thoughts on men's social isolation and women's safety bc this has been on my mind for a bit

I do think it's really sad how men end up feeling so isolated bc of various social expectations as well as people being cruel, but as a fem presenting person I have to say that you can't just expect women and anyone who is fem presenting to just "start being nicer". ive seen a few posts on Tumblr essentially stating that but I have to reiterate it is about safety. I literally cannot afford to stop looking at men with caution and assumed violence until I get to know them really well bc if I stop that could genuinely cost me me life. its true that most men I see probably are not predators and im sure it hurts to be perceived that way, but I have no way of being able to tell who is and isn't going to harm me. I have to assume the worst because it is the only way I can stay safe.

it sucks, it really does, for all parties involved. I have so much sympathy for the men who are genuinely kind and would never hurt me that feel isolated, it isn't fair, and I myself certainly don't enjoy the *necessary* fear that the random guy im passing on the street could see me and decide to hurt me, but this is the reality of the world. there is no easy solution, but what certainly isn't a solution is expecting women to start being kinder to men they dont know because once again: that could genuinely cost someone their life.

The best solution right now I think is to continue to try to deconstruct misogyny and gender roles, and that takes time, patience, and understanding.

I have also seen the notion on here that men feeling isolated socially is misandry, but the reality is that misandry is simply not real on a systemic scale. men feeling isolated is a direct result of the patriarchy and a side affect of misogyny. a lot of things on this website that are perceived as misandry are either not real problems or they are but they're just the impacts of misogyny and the gender roles that come with it.

But it is very surreal to be walking alone at night, clutching my pepper spray and glaring whenever a man I don't know is near me, making sure to stay next to the street and make it obvious I know exactly where I'm going and still feeling the fear that it might not be enough and something horrible could happen to me anyway, only come back to Tumblr and see people saying misandry is just as prevalent as misogyny and women need to start considering how it feels for men to be looked at like they're predators. Touch grass seems like an applicable statement here.

oh and obligatory piss on the poor tumblr disclaimer: I know I am using binary terms so before any of you get on your high horse about it, I myself am non binary. I am not actually a woman, but I certainly look like one and therefore deal with misogyny. I fully understand that trans men and genderqueers of all kinds as well as even feminine cis men also fear for their life on the street so dont even think abt getting on my ass about that. oh and if any of you try to call this a terf post consider yourself blocked with a recommendation to get a refresh on what terf actually means instead of just throwing around the term when you see any post trying to talk about misogyny :D

final disclaimer bc I wanna cover all my bases due to Tumblr reading comprehension: im aware topics like this are very nuanced with lots of layers, please dont act like im obligated to cover all that in a random Tumblr post of all things, I cannot possibly cover everything nor am I obligated to. I simply wanted to remind ppl that actual lives are at risk and fem presenting people constantly and regularly fear for their life bc I feel like that gets left out a lot in conversations like this on here. <3

#elli's random thoughts #women's safety #mens mental health #feminism #no idea what else to tag this so im just gonna throw it into the void #plus I do not want this to end up getting around to actual terf blogs ugh

[bookishphysicsgirl]

Hello, I have a genuine question, especially for trans people since you are the most affected, regarding Harry Potter fan fiction.

I'll try to tag this appropriately so that anyone who doesn't wish to see any content regarding to this doesn't, but if it accidentally slipped through I'm sorry, just tell me what else to tag it as so it will be better blocked and I will.

Obviously Joanne is a delusional b**** and I will never be touching anything she writes or sells ever again, since it would be giving her funds to actively harm trans lives.

The only question I have is regarding fanfiction because I've been seeing many arguments about this and still can't quite make my mind up about what side is right, but the thing is none of the people I saw making statements about this were trans, so I would very much appreciate your opinion since I believe that your thoughts are the most valid in this situation.

The first argument is that HP fanfiction while not directly supporting J.K. and oftentimes going directly against her beliefs is still giving visibility to her work and ultimately attracting people to the world of HP that normally wouldn't have exactly because of the effort put in to fix the mistakes of the original text.

I think the way they put it was that she is "profiting off the free labor of the folk she despises".

I actually see how this can be true and it makes a lot of sense to me since, for example, when All The Young Dudes blew up on tik tok a lot of people who might otherwise not have done so started buying HP merch and getting it farther up in the trends, even though ATYD by itself is a very queer-positive work.

The second argument is that fanfiction is not directly supporting her and it is incredibly healing and supporting for many people struggling. Not only that it can be a platform to expose her wrongdoings and stop the fandom from becoming a home ground for hate groups.

The argument went somewhere along the lines of if a child receives the HP books from a relative unaware of all the issues and likes it and then goes looking for more content, if the fan content made by the queer community isn't there to receive them all they will be met with is people who reaffirm Joanne's toxic opinions and it could be extremely harmful to those children, especially if they are queer themselves and aren't aware yet.

I myself have gone to HP fanfiction when I was questioning my sexuality and when I was depressed and it helped me immensely to understand what was happening to me and that it was ok and normal.

Trans protagonists in HP fanfiction also helped me understand gender theory better and what might be going on in trans lives and how to be more respectful (disclaimer: I am a cis woman so I cannot speak for trans people, I am merely stating that it helped me understand).

Both of these arguments make a lot of sense to me, and I can't see which one would be more correct. On the one hand I think that stopping everyone from even interacting with fandom might be a bit extreme, on the other I can't help but worry whether that is just me creating an excuse to keep enjoying things I like.

I don't feel like I enjoy HP fanfiction for nostalgia, especially since I openly recognize that both the books and the movies were actually a bit boring and not that well written and haven't been able to re-read them since I was 12. I think it has a lot more to do with the healing factor of being able to disassociate to another world and see stories that reflect mine and see people feeling the same things I do. But I am more than willing to stop if it is in fact causing more harm than good, especially since the last thing I want is for Joanne to receive clout she does not deserve.

Either way, I just wanted to know your opinions in all of this, since as I mentioned before I've only ever seen cis people arguing about it (mostly on tik tok).

Thank you so much for reading all of this and thank you if you reply.

(note: I will not be tagging this with trans tags because I know that a lot of people can feel unsafe when met with content regarding Harry Potter)

#harry potter #fanfiction #hp fanfiction #fanfic #jk rowling #fuck jkr #fandom

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

hey I just saw your post about the minister and the ace community, do you perhaps have a link or somethin? thanks

Okay, so I'm sorry but I'm gonna use your ask to talk about the so-called 'trans law' in Spain because IT JUST GOT APPROVED!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!! CONGRATS TO EVERYONE!!!!!

First of all, I am having a lot of trouble finding links to English-speaking news outlets talking about it so all links are gonna be in Spanish for now, I'm sorry. Please, if anyone finds stuff in English let me know and I'll edit this post!!

Anyways, let's start answering your ask lol. She said this this morning (December 22nd 2022), before they voted for the law. Her name is Irene Montero, and she's the Minister of Equality and creator of the law. Here's a twitter clip where she says it, I'll translate it in English:

"... there's also the rights that are still missing. I know that today is a difficult day for non-binary people, who celebrate the advances that they have also conquered but who need the legal recognition of their reality. In the last few years, you have succeded in letting a very important part of society know you exist; may there be more and more respect and less discrimination, mockery or misunderstandings for your lives and your identities' sake. But I am aware that you also need your rights to be recognized; we will continue to protect and care for you, we know we have to keep advancing. We also know this is the case for trans and LGBTI immigrants, for ace people, for all those lives who are still invisible in the eyes of society and who are going to keep pushing the transformations that your lives need."

After it, Congress voted for this new law. It ended up passing with 188 votes in favour, 150 against, and 7 abstentions; it'll now have to be ratified by the Senate before finally being effective. This finally put an end to a months-old drag and trampling of the law by T*RFs all over the country (and of course the usual conservatives and fascists but that was expected), an extensive hate campaign towards Irene Montero herself (although tbh ever since she started in politics the poor woman has been submitted through continuous heckling and disinformation campaigns) and serious doubts on its approval, many thought it would change too much or be indefinitely delayed; in this article they neatly talk about how many hardships it has gone through if you're interested. But it's finally here. It's finally approved.

So, what's this law about? Well, it basically aspires to recognize a series of rights and protections to LGBT people in Spain, focusing mainly on trans people. As you could imagine, seeing the word T*RF in this post, this was what generated the most controversy and overall bullshit. For what I've gathered, these are the main points of the law:

It facilitates sex change. Under this law, a person who wants to change their sex being between 12 to 14 years old will need a court endorsment, from 14 to 16 the parents' approval, and from 16 on they don't need any documents or permission, they can just go to the corresponding office to change it.

It depathologises transexuality. This means that for the sex change no hormones or medical report will be needed; you can just go to change your sex without any clinical data.

It protects detransitioning. Detransitioning will be able to happen if the person wants to, changing their sex the same way as mentioned above. If there's more than two sex changes, then they will have to go to court for it.

It bans conversion therapies and sets a fine for them of 150,000€.

It protects queer families. Until now, when a queer family had a baby, the non-pregnant partner had to adopt the kid to be recognized as their parent; under this law, they just need to express it so when the kid is born and has to be registered.

It protects intersex people, by banning genital modification for those younger than 12 yo unless it poses an urgent health issue, and from 12-16 yo they can be performed only if the intersex person consents to it.

It protects LGBT people in rural areas, establishing their right to have the same resources and services than their urban folks have.

It studies 'sexile', that is, having to abandon your place of birth due to issues pertaining your sexuality or gender identity, especially in rural areas. Its main objective is for sexile to be recognized as one of the causes of depopulation within the larger measures against depopulation in the country.

There are also general measures that protect LGBT people in hostile environments and instaurate anti-discriminatory measures.

Hope this was clear enough, I'm so happy this law was finally approved, I feel it was so mentally tiring for all progressists in the country, it was a lot. But finally ES LEY!!!!!!!

Also, I'm not really an expert on it so if I've said something wrong or if I'm missing stuff please feel free to add to this post!

#lgbt #trans #news #spain #es ley <3 #ask

[thatvalvefanatic]

Reasons why I think GLaDOS from Portal is autistic. This is not meant to be a hurtful post as I myself am autistic. I know some traits can be demonized and spread as if they are bad when they are not, so please be thoughtful if you comment !

Feel free to tell me more traits to add on and I will do so !!!! Same for if I'm wrong on anything, some of these are probably worded weird.

×××

- GLaDOS seems to have more care for animals than humans

- she has a special interest in science

- she prefers to be alone than with others (although that might be because she only gets to see humans) and doesn't really have many friends

- she likes pretty extreme/specific organization

- because GLaDOS is a robot, she doesn't understand proper communication or social norms as much. She doesn't understand why others are into what they are and finds it boring or confusing. Same with humor. With communication she also doesn't seem to know what the proper things to say to someone are.

- she likes things to stay on schedule and gets worried or freaked out when they don't. She doesn't fully know how to combat it. She likes the rhythm and learning of testing and that's all.

- she seems to get anxious very easily. Like most of these it's probably because of the content in the game but it could apply to what we don't see as well.

- she tries to always be a smarter person than everyone else and stay correct.

- She is incredibly intelligent and is more considerate than the other characters around her

- she tends to copy others. Like how she has a lot of similar habits to Cave.

- she stims by swaying side to side and by singing (like in PotatOS Lament)

- she seems to be very emotional and can become obsessive

- GLaDOS has a line about human sex being ridiculous, making her probably asexual, and I looked it up and apparently autistic people are more likely to be asexual (or be hypersexual)! so that's cool. Also GLaDOS is canonically bisexual and sexuality varies more with autistic people too. Same with gender. So it makes me wonder if GLaDOS could be under the trans umbrella as well.. /hj

- GLaDOS has very strong senses and gets overstimulated! When she's PotatOS she has less of an ability to process things and shuts down due to it. She is more aware of things and that can be overwhelming.

×××

Extra more written rather than bullet point thoughts.

GLaDOS is a very complex character. I find it so interesting how Valve portrays her and it makes me wonder if the writers knew that GLaDOS would be like this. Like if they knew most of what she did was autistic rather than allistic. Or if they thought that's just what robots were like. I haven't seen anyone at Valve talk about where they got her personality from (other than Erik Wolpaw saying he got GLaDOS being mean about Chell's weight from things his grandma said). It also makes me want to know more about Ellen McLain (GLaDOS' voice actress) and what she thinks about it as she says she relates to GLaDOS a lot.

Despite the fact that GLaDOS is a robot therefore that's probably why she acts so disconnected from other people, I think she could be great representation. She doesn't have any harmful traits (besides the whole. Murdering everyone thing. But by harmful I mean autistic stereotypes and harmful things centered around it) and just kind of lives how she wants to. It's nice to see. I think GLaDOS is such an important character and im glad she exists. <3

×××

I found this article and it lists many traits of autism in women and it's pretty interesting!

#valve #valve games #portal #portal 2 #glados #glados portal #actually autistic

[silently--here]

20 Questions for fic writers

Thank you for tagging me @annanother-thing!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

13 technically, i have one that is currently anon tho so not on my profile yet

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

59,428

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry Potter, i also have one Hannibal poem but I haven't posted it

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Unknown number, my wolfstar texting fic

One Last call, sad angsty wolfstar fic

Secrets, trans remus joining hogwarts late fic with hinted wolfstar and minerva/poppy

Visiting the south of France, good severus fic and background james/lily

Eius Astra, t4t Draco and Percy fic soft sweet get together fic

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I should but I don't really, to be fair I haven't been posting much but I'm really very bad at replying and leaving comments and it's something I want to improve at

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably one last call , mind the tags on it if you read it

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm my fic that is currently anon or Eius Astra

8. Do you get hate on fics?

In the past but I just delete it, recently I havent which is nice

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes but I never end up posting much, I want to get round to it but I overthink

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope the closest I have gotten to a cross over was my Glitter and gold fic

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope, I am not a good enough writer for that

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, I have translated my own fic as an exercise in writing norwegian but I didn't post it, it is probably full of errors and wrong words

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope and I don't think I would be very good at it, when I was younger I wanted to but I am happy writing on my own nowadays

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I have so many I can't just pick but if we stay within Harry Potter fandom then its wolfstar

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don't know, I have a lot of things I begin but don't think I will finish but then randomly I will find myself coming back to them but being realistic I have a wolfstar fic dubbed as the lighthouse fic and I don't know if I will ever finish it or put anywhere

16. What are your writing strengths?

I don't know, I am well aware I have flaws in my writing and I could nit pick all day but strengths idk. I don't write because I'm good, I write because I enjoy it and it's a bit of an escape and maybe someone will enjoy what I write but if not it doesn't matter because I don't need people to enjoy my fics

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am bad with spelling and reusing the same words, I don't structure sentences well and don't know if a full stop or a comma is needed. I don't really understand the rules of writing dialogue. Theres so much and I wont go on.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

See I never know what the rules are for this and same as Anna I find it annoying when the translations are in the end notes of a fic. I have some wips written with a different language spoken that aren't posted and I have done it with a '/' to separate translation to actual speech. However I do wonder how important it is to my fic that they are speaking a different language or is it not really needed? Idk

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think it was Harry Potter but idk

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

It's barely written and I can't wait to write more but half hitches and round turns is my wolfstar living on a canal boat fic and ahh i just love it

I'm tagging: @uncannycerulean, @allalrightagain @bluestringpudding and anyone else who wants to do this

[yarnpenguin]

Autism & Gullibility

I need to talk about this:

Not for the obvious reasons (does my uterus do this? if it doesn't, is it because I have PCOS or because I'm non-binary?) (but also because she used "ie" when she should have used "eg"). No, I want to talk about this because I don't believe it. And I'm autistic. And because I feel a strong need to unpack why my disbelief and my autism are giving me thoughts about this at 11 am on a Thursday.

For a while now, I've been keenly aware of people not-so-quietly working to infantilise autistic people. In politics, it's largely related to trans people and transition; the vocal 'phobes with large platforms of various stripes talk about the number of trans people who are autistic, and talk about how we can't be allowed to transition because we're gullible and believe everything and thus fall for the "trans agenda" because we're helpless little children all our lives.

Online, I saw things like people arguing that it was wrong to ship Critical Role's Jester with anyone because she's "autistic-coded" and therefore too childlike and thus it would make her (fictional) romantic partner and the people who ship them together PDF files. This has also happened with other characters that fans have declared to be "autistic-coded". I've also seen discussion about whether or not dating an autistic person IRL makes one a PDF file because we're so childlike and innocent and it's easy to take advantage of us.

And. No? No. Fuck off. Fuck right off with that and when you've reached your fucking off destination please continue fucking off into the sun. I'm 41 years old. If another adult human lost their goddamn mind and wanted to kiss me, it doesn't make them a child predator. It makes them an adult attracted (improbably, with me as the subject) to another adult.

The infantilisation of autistic adults sometimes puts a focus on our interests (which are deemed childish, which is another rant I may have at another time) but usually I see people bringing up that we're naïve, that we're gullible, that we're easily lied to, that we believe everything.

I'm not self-ID'd. I've got an official diagnosis. And I do not, for one instant, believe what Naomi Wolf has said in that screenshot. It sounds not only improbable to me, but literally impossible. She's lying. She's making stuff up. She's spreading literal disinformation. And I know that, all the way to my bones.

However, several weeks ago, I had an instance where my mum lied to me and I believed her (we live together because of our health problems; neither of us is capable of full independence). She put two full boxes of ice cream bars on a far counter in the kitchen then got distracted doing something else. So I grabbed the boxes to put them in the freezer. She told me to stop. I wanted to help; I asked her what she was doing with them. She told me she was going to put them in the garbage. I didn't understand why--they seemed fine--but she sounded immensely sincere so I carried the boxes to the sink so the bars could melt. (She then yelled at me to stop. She was going to take them out of the boxes and put them in a freezer bag so they'd take up less space.)

There's a reason why I believed her. People throw out food. People throw out perfectly good food. Plus there was her tone--she was very matter-of-fact about it. This can happen to me a lot IRL--if someone says something that seems plausible in a flat enough tone, well, I don't have any reason to disbelieve them. Why would someone who cares about me lie to me?

(There's also things like "Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?" "...Really?" "[insert howls of laughter at the gullible dipshit]" - for me, at least, that "really?" indicates that I'm not actually believing you, I require more information, and if I ever hear anybody say "... Really?" to something I've said, I interpret it as a cue to expand further.)

I generally find I don't believe something that sounds implausible to me, no matter the tone. We had a neighbour for years who had this very loud car that he would allow to sit beside our house and idle for at least 10 minutes every time he was going to drive it. Eventually my mum was so annoyed she confronted him about it, and he told her that it was "because the car is old" and the "engine needed to warm up", no matter the weather. The car couldn't have pre-dated the 1990s. I didn't believe him. By the same token, if someone waltzed up to me on a clear, sunny day and announced that the sky is pink, I sure as hell wouldn't believe that, either.

We can't read tone on the internet, that's true, unless we're watching a video. But I can't be convinced of just anything. I couldn't be convinced that Ancient Rome wasn't a thing, I couldn't be convinced that Helen Keller was a fraud. And Wolf ain't convincing me that the uteri of vaccinated people give unvaccinated cis women menstrual cramps. It brings up too many questions. Did these 60 women turn to the women around them and ask if they'd been vaccinated? Did they ask the hotel staff the vaccination status of whomever stayed in the hotel room before them? Why don't vaccinated men give them cramps? Or do they and she just left that out?

Being autistic doesn't make me a naïve fool, floating through the world believing every little thing that's whispered in my ear. It means I struggle to read tone. It means that I want to trust people--I especially want to trust people I'm supposed to be able to trust, so when they deadpan at me or speak matter-of-factly that they're going to throw away food, I believe that, and will act accordingly.

It's really, really hard to convince me of something that sounds out of the ordinary or wildly weird. I don't believe conspiracy theories. I don't believe everything I'm told or everything I read, and it's way easier for me to disbelieve stuff I see online. I do, in fact, fully and thoroughly grasp the difference between fiction and reality (and boy howdy is that ever another rant for another day).

So now, I get to the actual point of this: there are always, always, two conversations happening when it comes to autism and autistic people. There's the conversation that autistic people have about ourselves. Then there's the conversation that allistic people have about us. They don't include us. Ever. They want to talk about us, make decisions for us, make up rules about us. But they never, ever want to talk to us--or, more importantly, with us; or, even more importantly, listen to us when we tell them about our lives and epxeriences.

Whether it's real life or fucking shipping fictional characters, the allistics make declarations about us and what we're like and what we need.

And they never, ever actually ask us what our lives are like, how we experience the world, how they can work with us, what we want, what we need. It'd be too difficult.

If you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person. Ask us about our supposed "gullibility" and let us explain what's actually going on. Let us speak and be okay with it when we contradict you when you pass edicts--of consequence or not--about us. We're people with autonomy. Many of us are adults. Probably most of us are adults, given the sheer number of adult years humans live compared to child years.

No, we don't see the world the same way you do. Yes, the world is often very difficult for us to navigate.

But guess whose fault that is.

#actually autistic #autism #autistic adult #rant #rant post #fuck your disinformation #fuck your preconceptions #autism doesn't have to make my life harder #but the world being set up by and for allistic people means it does