#i am now so upset that i didn't name most of my cats something like this so i could say things like this to them

[these-posts-arent-real]

Oh StarClan... your dash has turned into warrior cats again.

#sorry <3 #this one has parts that are based off of that #one post rhats like "if there were cat-people #do you think calico tboys would try to dye over their patches"

2 notes

🔁 🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow reblogged

🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow

Me & Night (my mate)!!!

🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass Follow

:O Kip's mate has finally been revealed!!! And his name is Night? Cooool.

🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow

Yeah haha. Technically his full name is Night Hunter, Bringer of Darkness, but it feels so weirdly formal calling him that, so I usually stick to just Night.

#life #kittypet #collar tw #cw collars #id in alt text

8,504 notes

🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow

I find it really funny when I see cats on here vaguepost about big blogs. Like cmon mouse-brain everyone here knows who you're talking about. Just say their name.

#this is about that one mommy blogger shitting on kipper the kittypet #btw #in case some of you couldnt tell #would be funny if it wasnt so stupid

12 notes

🔁 🐍xviper-the-fagx reblogged

🥬 rxttencatmint Follow

Hahaaaaa.... my mother found out ive been slowly dyeing my ginger patches black...

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

Why would you do that??? Being a tortie is so cool, I wish I had ginger patches! They're so pretty, why do you want to get rid of them???

🥬 rxttencatmint Follow

Uhm. Gender dysphoria??

Like. I know cis male tortoiseshells exist but they're so rare that most cats take one look at me and go "oh, tortie, must be a girl" and that hurts.

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

OH STARCLAN im so sorry Rot i wasnt even thinking about you being trans, I probably sounded really insensitive... I do understand what you're saying now.

Didn't even ask, how did your mom take it? Does she know why?

🥬 rxttencatmint Follow

You're fine <3 I get it. And no, she uh.. has no clue why I did it, she thinks I'm in my "emo phase" or something.

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

Uhh unrelated but what do you use to dye your fur?? Asking for... science...

#"science" meaning i am also a tortie tboy #well technically i'm calico but ykwim

46 notes

🔁 🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow reblogged

🦢 gentlesong-momof17 Follow

I can't be the only one here who thinks it's unfair to allow kittypets on this site. Posting pictures of themselves and their mates inside of the twolegplace, influencing the young kits on this site to abandon their Clans... surely everyone else sees the problem with this as well.

This is Clanblr, not "Kittypetblr". This was specifically made as a space for Clan cats to connect, not for kittypets to push their lifestyle on us.

They're going to convince our kits to abandon their home and their belief in StarClan just for a more secure life.

#EXACTLY #I only recently found out ex-tc Kipper was a kittypet #it was so upsetting to me because i've always loved his wood-scratch art #to find out he's a clan-abandoner was so saddening

2,447 notes

🔁 🐍xviper-the-fagx reblogged

🌻 l1llyst3m Follow

The recent drama surrounding Kipper the Kittypet is sad and I hate that he's being bashed just for existing, but it's also incredibly stupid. I believe the cat who wrote the original post said something like, "it's CLANblr, not KITTYPETblr," and then something about belief in StarClan and I just... do you even realize how many Clanblr mods are non-Clan and/or don't believe in StarClan?

To name a few, @s-t-a-r-burning is former WindClan now rogue & openly an atheist, @theshadowhaseyes has been a kittypet his whole life, and @ssuunnrraayy-p has made zir entire blog about how ze travels from one Clan to another & doesnt consider zimself a Clan cat. Those are all mods. "It's clanblr no-" shut up. Just shut up.

245 notes

🧷 name-lists-by-theme

Theme: Water

as always, these work as either part of your name, but they are intended as the first part!

-Abyss

-Bay

-Bog

-Cove

-Creek

-Current

-Dew

-Fog

-Lagoon

-Lake

-Marsh

-Mist

-Pond

-Pool

-Puddle

-Rain

-Shallow

-Sleet

-Spray

-Splash

-Storm

-Stream

-Torrent

Keep reading

383 notes

🐱 berrrrry-o Follow

I think a lot of cats put way too much emphasis on the parts of the warrior code that dont matter, and forget the parts that do, like "feed elders and kits first" and "never neglect a kit in pain or danger"... I feel like those are significantly more important than "a warrior rejects the soft life of a kittypet," but maybe that's just me.

#berry yaps #I'm irritated by the kittypet drama going on on this site

16 notes

🔁 🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow reblogged

🔲 sag3-chas3s-squirr3ls-deactivated

I feel like we don't talk enough about how SkyClan got chased out of their own territory during a time of crisis rather than all of the Clans trying to make room for everyone...

I mean, seriously. I know it's taught to all SkyClan apprentices, but I've talked to some of my friends from other Clans and they just. Didn't know that. They were never taught that the other Clans allowed SkyClan to be chased out due to territory loss.

🔲 sstep-xoxo-deactivated

:/ im pretty sure the whole thing about skclan being kicked out of their territory is just a conspiracy theory

🔲 sag3-chas3s-squirr3ls-deactivated

Imagine trying to tell a cat that they don't know their own Clan's history 💀

#ohh i finally found it again #that 1 fucker trying to say that skyclan's history is a "conspiracy theory"

20,056 notes

🌱 dirtdigger-23 Follow

:/ I do not like being stuck on the wrong site.

#fakeposting #fake dash #fake dashboard #warrior cats #warriors #warriors dashboard simulator #warriors dashboard sim #dash sim #warrior cats dashboard #cat dashboard simulator #dashboard simulator #dash simulator #unreality

[starandcloud]

42!Miles Headcannons

I am on a kick of Spiderverse, so Tumblr gets it-

Miles has separation anxiety with you, which got a lot worse when you started dating, him being the prowler and all

He cannot handle the sound of guns, it makes his anxiety race.

He'd never admit it but he genuinely likes your company, like he'll deny it then go out of his way to find stupid reasons to hang out with you. Which his mom plays into. Miles: Aye, Idiota. Come over. My mom misses you. Y/N: Ooookay? Rio, hugging Y/N: Y/N I've missed you, how've you been? Are you feeling okay? Have you been eating enough? Y/N, laughing: I'm okay Mrs. Morales, thank you for worrying about me though Miles: *Absolutely smitten by how you interact with his mom*

Leaves you gits randomly, like if he's out on a job with his uncle and he sees something he knows you'll like he'll swipe it (and leave money) and either leave it on your desk or put it on your window sill. You've yet to catch him

He HAS stopped and watched you sleep when he left you a gift, not in creepy way more like a "God... They're so perfect..." His eyes, hidden behind his lil mask, softened on you. He only left because the hallway light flicked on and he panicked. That was the loudest he had ever fled from somewhere, he didn't even close your window.

He is really artistic too, he has dozens of sketches of you in his sketchbook. You're his favorite thing to draw

Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for Miles wanting to kill someone for you. But he would only think it, he'd never actually act on those thoughts. He couldn't bear the weight of taking a life, even if it was for you. He's a vigilante, remember

As terrifying as he seems, Miles is a HUGE baby when it comes to getting hurt. He'll act like he's fine, but when he's with his Uncle or Mom he cries. Like ugly cries, he's a huge baby-

Has Trypanophobia (The Fear of Needles), hates the sight of them and cannot handle it when he has to get shots

When he cannot handle anything anymore he goes to his dad's Mural and just sits there, he doesn't talk or make any noise. He just sits against the brick, sometimes he cries, sometimes he doesn't but he's always there late at night so no one really sees him

He doesn't talk to anyone he actually has a crush on, like he's flirty as hell with everyone but the person he actually likes he's really blunt and distant. Like a dumbass

I can 100% see Miles being Omni, like he could like anyone as long as he's close to them

We all know Miles' sleep schedule is FUCKED, he's a Vigilante, he doesn't get to sleep much due to everything being at night. But he still gets good grades and sleeps when he can

This is literally one of his posts on Twitter and you CANNOT tell me otherwise-

He isn't really bothered by people who're taller than him, or people who are a few inches shorter. But if you're below his chin he's wary, he's heard enough from Ganke not to mess with people that short. "They have to climb to get things, I don't wanna mess with someone who climbs counters.

I can see him being taller than 1610!Miles, cause 1610!Miles is 5'8" so I can see 42!Miles being anywhere from 5'9 to 5'10". Like it's not a noticeable difference if you're not paying attention, ya know?

Miles does Photography, but it's more of a hobby. He doesn't plan on turning it into a career, but he does it when he's got the chance, his posts look like this

Bubbly_Rose and Vanilla.Coffee.Addict. Are both his mom, different accounts to support her son. Best mom 100%

Miles has dozens of playlists on spotify, most of which are for his friends and family.

Cat person but has a german shepard named Luna

Had dreads ONCE and decided he hated them, so he stuck to his braids

Miles can cook, really really well. His mom and him used to bond through cooking and now it's something he does when he's stressed or upset

Depending on how tired Miles is, is how he sleeps. If he's just a lil sleepy, his legs are kinda bent and his arms are by his head, HOWEVER, if it was after REALLY tiring job with his uncle he kinda just falls onto his bed and sleeps like that

He usually doesn't go to anyone for comfort and comforts himself unless it's really bad then he goes to his mom or (if he really REALLY trusts them) his significant other

Miles has a tendency to flinch/move away from any form of touch that's not from his mother. He gets pins and needles if he's not expecting a touch and it is almost painful, I wouldn't say he's touch-starved but with his mom working so much it's easy to see that he would be

The one thing that brings Miles' to tears is watching his mom work herself to the bone and never being able to take a break. It makes him so mad that he can't help her, without it being obvious, that it reduces him to tears

He cries when he's mad

He hates it when people go through his things or move them. He has everything in a place, everything has to be perfect. Major OCD when it comes to his room, it's his space and he wants it perfectly clean

Miles takes really good care of himself, he keeps himself in shape (outside of being the Prowler) and makes sure to eat and hydrate right

Miles. Is. A. Huge. Softie for little kids. He acts like he can't stand them but the minute he's flashed a toothy smile from a little kid, he can't help but smile back

He considers a few people who aren't family, his family like Ganke

His idea of "A Perfect Vacation" is going anywhere with his mom and Uncle. It could literally be a trip to his Paternal Grandmother's house, and as long as his mom isn't working he is perfectly content

Miles tends to bite his nails and chew on his lips when he's nervous

By FAR the strangest thing Miles has ever seen was one of his classmates straight up touching their eyeball, that happened when he was 13 and it still freaks him out

Miles accepts advice relatively well, he doesn't show it but he does

He hates most pictures, but there was a few that his version Gwen took of him.

He is horrible at talking to someone he's got a crush on, like worse than 1610!Miles ;-;

Miles wakes up before his mom, when she's home, and makes her breakfast, he eats, showers, and goes to school, comes home, does his homework, goes to his boxing class (curtesy of Uncle Aaron), and depending on the day either goes on a job or goes to sleep

He has a few scars on his face from one of the first few jobs he was on when he wasn't far enough away from a bomb when it went off

Ocra. He CANNOT with the texture of it.

He loves stormy weather, its relaxing to him

He loves Fall and winter, the crisp air makes him smile

As a way to waste time, he goes to the gym or draws

When Miles wakes up from a nightmare, he kinda just lays there until he puts his headphones on and falls asleep to whatever song he's listening to

Miles collects little doo-dads from the street, it gives him something to fidget with

Miles knows English, Spanish, and French. He had to take a second language class and he COULDN'T take Spanish, so he's relatively fluent in French

Miles is the type of person to give someone the tightest most affection hugs, like even if he's just friends with the person. Hugs are like "I love you"s for Miles, they're sparing things from him

If Miles had three wishes from a genie he'd wish for: 1. His mother to either be paid more or for her to work less 2. His city to have less issues 3. To talk to his dad again

CROSSOVER: Miles is a gryffindor, with a Kingfisher Patronus and an 11.25 in Applewood wand with Unicorn hair ((I don't support J.K. Rowling))

Miles saw you in his clothes once and it MELTED him, he physically leaned against the wall and smiled stupidly

If you don't typically wear glasses (despite needing them, like my dumbass) and you wear them around Miles. The first time he saw you in them, he was distracted enough he walked into a wall.

Miles will protest being called cheesy things likes "Babydoll", "Pumpkin" "Sweets", "Bubba", "Light of My Life", "Tater Tot" (this happened ONCE, "Sunshine", "Dumpling", "Bambie", and "Babyface". He genuinely loves it when you call him that. Specifically: Babydoll, Pumpkin, and Sunshine. He still likes the other ones but loves those more.

#earth 42 miles morales #atsv #atsv drabble #beyond the spiderverse #miles morales #twins au #the prowler #atsv prowler #miles morales prowler #prowler miles #miles morales headcanons #earth 42 miles morales headcanons #miles morales earth 42 #miles g morales

[calmcoldevening]

hi love! hope you’re doing well, can you write a fanfic of eric draven surprising the reader with a new cat? that’s be so sweet ty 😭❤️

Eric Draven x reader [🐈]

Hey there, kitten! I'm sorry for it took for so long, but I was whole in my school work. So now make yourself a cup of warm tea and enjoy this little story.

I wrote it as fem!reader, but if it's necessary I can change it :)

• You were usually happy and cheerful, a tender relationship with Eric brought a really incredible and good experience into your life, you literally blossomed like a spring flower.

• But lately you've been a little depressed and sad. Eric was very upset by this. Not only did you withdraw into yourself, but you also moved away from him significantly, which caused a painful feeling of heaviness in the guy's heart. That's why he tried his best to cheer you up.

• At first, it was some little things like your favorite sweets or some cool things. He even gave you flowers a couple of times. But your longing did not go away, and you still did not respond to his attempts to show affection.

• Eric thought that your behavior was caused by the fact that he often stayed at work for a long time or worked with his musical group for a long time. Perhaps you resented him because of the feeling of loneliness. Eric couldn't blame you for that. After all, your old cat has grown up a long time ago and spent most of his time outside or somewhere in a remote part of the house. That's why he decided to surprise you.

• It was a particularly cloudy day, as is usually the case on Halloween eve in this city. You had recently cooked dinner, so now you were lying quietly on the bed with the player in your hands. You didn't hear the door open. You didn't hear him enter the room. You just felt the mattress next to you crease under the guy's weight. A moment later, a gentle hand wrapped around your waist. Eric leaned closer to your face, kissing your temple and accidentally (or not) hitting the earphone. Now your earphone has quickly rolled down your chest, falling onto the bedspread.

• "I have something for you, my rose," Eric whispers with a smile, gently rubbing his nose against your cheek. But you didn't react in any way, trying to focus on the music. "Come on, baby. He will be sad if he doesn't see his new mommy." This phrase has already strained you enough to spark your curiosity. Eric chuckled softly, watching your reaction.

• You sat on the bed waiting for this. You were biting your lip in impatience and twisting your fingers. Finally Eric came back from somewhere with a small purple box. The guy carefully placed her on the bed in front of you, sitting down next to her. You awkwardly reach for the box, slowly opening the lid. There was a sharp meow from there, and immediately after that a little red kitten jumped into your arms. The cat began to rub gently against your stomach, trying to climb onto your arms as soon as possible to hide from this scary man.

• Eric chuckled softly. "You know, he was afraid of me from the very beginning... I'm not going to be a daddy, am I?" In response, you just smiled, picking up the kitten in your arms and stroking its soft fur. "It's a boy. I think he will be glad if you give him a name, my rose."

• Eric carefully sits closer, wrapping his arm around your waist, and with his free hand touching the kitten's small ears. Without thinking twice, the kitten slightly bit the guy's finger with its small fangs.

Now let's choose a name for this baby boy 🐈

#slashers x reader #eric draven x reader #eric draven #eric draven x you #eric draven headcanons

[gaybananabread]

Heyyyy! How are you doing?

Can I please request a fic with lee! Raine and Ler! Darius from The Owl House? Raine won't stop calling their group the C.A.Ts, mostly to get a rise out of Darius (it's working😂). Fed up after Raine ignores his warnings, Darius pins him down and wrecks the shit out of him. Raine is a nervous bard, so he cannot stand tickle anticipation and Darius knows this. Cut to a few minutes later and Raine is giggling up a storm while Darius is just smiling at him and saying things like, 'I'm not even touching you...'

I am alive, thx for asking! THIS IS SUCH A GOOD PROMPT LIKE- It's cute and fluffy and I love it. I'm gonna be honest, i pumped most of this out after midnight. I hope this doesn't suck. Sorry this took so long, schoolwork started back up and I got swampedddd. Enjoy!

Lee: Raine

Ler: Darius

Summary: Raine is being a little shit and annoying Darius with the group name. He decides to teach the pesky bard a lesson.

Warnings: none! This is a tickle fic, so if you don't like that, scroll away!

"Or, for short, the CATTS!"

Darius despised that name. Not because of the stupidity, and not because of embarrassment. He hated it because Raine loved to annoy him with it. Every chance they got, every set-up for a cat pun, Raine would be there to tease him about it.

Now, Raine wasn't doing it maliciously, of course. They didn't want to actually upset the other coven head. They just saw a way to make the ever-stoic and sassy Darius groan or stifle a laugh. So, like any reasonable person would, they did it as often as possible. Just to see the ghost of a smile or hear the small, choked sound of a chuckle from the man. Some days they just took it a bit too far. Today was one of those days.

-

Running through the halls of the base, Raine searched for Darius. They had the perfect idea for new masks. Luz had shown them some drawings of human-world cats, and they absolutely loved them. True, soft and fluffy isn't exactly a typical rebellion style, but that can change. At the very least, it'll be fun to annoy Darius with.

Finally, they found the abominations head. He was fixing some of the damaged uniforms and clothes for the members. Raine ran up to him, showing him the pad of paper. "Darius! What do you think of these new designs for the CATTS uniforms?"

He didn't respond for a second, waiting to see if that was a joke. When he found out it wasn't, he shook his head, sighing. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Raine, I don't even know where to- are those paw-pad gloves?"

Raine nodded excitedly, pointing to the glove design. "Yeah! I figured, since we're the CATTS, we might as well look the part. You, Eda, Luz and me even get tails." They smirked, turning the page to show him their outfits. They had Darius in a purple-themed calico cat outfit. They even had cat ears in the design. "I think they're purr-fect. What about you?"

That little... they're so dead. Using his magic, he sent an abomination to grab Raine, holding the bard's arms above their head and keeping them in place. He stood from his workbench, slowly making his way over to the restrained Raine.

"Raine Whispers... I belive I've told you about my thoughts on the whole cat thing, correct?" Darius placed his hand on their side, just resting it there. Raine nodded, squirming under his touch. They knew what was coming. "I thought so. And what, exactly, are those thoughts?"

Raine shrugged, a wobbly smile on their face. They knew they were screwed. The bard twisted and tugged at their arms, but the abomination didn't budge. Darius had them right where he wanted them. "Let me remind you: I am NOT AMUSED!"

With a playful growl, Darius dug his fingers into the bard's sides, roughly clawing and poking at the sensitive skin. Raine squealed, squirming and tugging at their goopy restraints. The abomination didn't budge.

"DAHARIHUHUHUS! PLEHEHEASE!" Darius going straight for their sides was not something they were ready for. Raine's laughter was loud and pitchy, their cheeks quickly reddening. It was their worst spot, after all.

"Please? I remember saying that many times when you would make cat puns or annoy me with that cursed team name. And, as I'm sure you remember, you did not stop. It's fitting that I shouldn't either."

Darius was enjoying himself. Sure, it's a bit childish, but it gets the job done. He would never harm his friend, and the tickling gets his message aross just fine. Did he need to be so cruel about it? No, but that's half the fun.

That "fun" is a very different story when you're on the receiving end. Sure, it wasn't awful, but their death spot for too long was getting a bit intense. "COHOHOME OHON! GAHAHA- GOHOHO SOHOMEWHERE EHEHEHELSE!"

His fingers immediately moved up to Raine's neck, fluttering his fingers across the pinkened skin. He didn't wanna push their boundaries. Their loud, shaky laughter turned to squeaky, almost childish giggling. It did nothing to help their blush, the red color quickly spread further down his neck and to his ears.

"Dahahahariuhus! Quihihit it!" They scrunched up their shoulder as best as they could, trying to block Darius's hands. "Maybe someone should've laid off on the feline puns." He was honestly just having fun teasing the bard at this point, though they didn't need to know that.

Raine didn't know if their face could get any more red. Their bouncy, squeaky giggles were music to Darius's ears. Though he couldn't stay there forever. That'd just be unfair, both to him and Raine. He let his hands drift downward, stopping on the bard's ribcage.

Their gigging ramped back up into laughter, though it wasn't half as loud as before. Raine tugged at their arms, but to no avail. Darius's magic held them firmly in place and at his mercy. "You know, you've really brought this upon yourself. I've told you countless times not to bring up the cat thing around me. Yet you still press me, daily, on the matter. It's almost as if you wanted this."

The bard shook their head, hastily denying the comment. They knew he was just teasing, but still. Raine wasn't exactly aiming for this result, but it's not unwelcome in the least. They might've wanted to make Darius chuckle, but they weren't against having a laugh themselves. No reason for Darius to know that, though. "GEHEHET OFF! DAHAHARIUS!"

Darius suddenly got a very fun, very mean idea. Inspired by his friend's words, he pulled his hands away, hovering them over their sides. "Alright then. If you wish, I'll stop touching you." He teasingly wiggled his fingers, just shy of meeting their skin. They giggled and twisted around, eyeing his hands nervously. Oho, that prick-

"Dariuhuhus! Thahat- this ihisn't fair!" The abomination covenhead just huffed, shaking his head. "You need to make up your mind, Raine. 'Touch me, don't touch me.' It's rather confusing." He acted like he was going to go for their sides, faking them out at the last moment. The bard squealed and jolted out of instinct, making the other coven head laugh.

"I'm not even touching you, Raine. If you're that ticklish, I think you should invest in some body armor. I mean, if Belos found out about this, you'd be toast. A few illusionists sending some feathers near your sides and poof: no more revolution." He wiggled his fingers teasingly, drawing a line in the air right above their stomach. It was kinda cute how they giggled and squirmed at the almost-touch.

"Wohohohould you juhust- quihit! This ihis ehehevil!" They hate anticipation. It's just... why? They know he's gonna tickle them again, why drag it out like that? Their giggles bounced around the room as they squirmed like a worm on a hook.

"Why would I ever do that? And what do you mean by quit? Quit stalling and tickle you again, quit teasing you, quit calling you out? There's a lot of possibilities here, Raine. You've got to be specific."

He smirked, just hovering his hands over their sides. His fingers twitched absent-mindedly, sending shivers down the other's spine. Raine knew they weren't getting out of there without getting tickled again. Might as well own it.

"Juhust- shut uhup ahand t-tickle me ahalready!" Darius could've been very mean. He had plenty of things to tease the bard with. Their burning cheeks, stuttering on the t-word, eagerness to get wrecked. But he didn't. He dug his fingers into Raine's sides once again, clawing and scratching and wiggling his fingers on their death spot.

Raine all but shrieked. The anticipation had made everything twice as bad, their laughter loud and boisterous. It's not something you see- or hear -every day. "NAHAHAHA! DAHAHARIUHUHUS! IHIT- GAHAHAHA!"

The man was silent, just smirking as he wrecked the poor bard. Even though they had literally asked for it, Darius would feel guilty if he teased them. At least for the moment. He just tickled them, his fingers scribbling mercilessly against Raine's sides.

Barely two minutes later, Raine was practically done. Their squirming had almost stopped, their laugh taking on a wheezing edge. If not for the abomination, they would have collapsed by now. Seeing the behavior shift, Darius slowly stopped his tickling, rubbing at their sides to try and calm the phantom tickles. "You alright, Raine?"

Said bard all but went limp in the abomination's grip, hanging their head as they got the rest of their giggles out. They were exhausted, the tickling thoroughly tiring them out. Darius chuckled as he wrapped an arm around them. He dismissed the abomination, catching before they could faceplant. They mumbled a "thanks" before going limp in his arms.

Darius led them over to their bunk, laying them down and pulling the thin blanket over them. Raine didn't react much as they melted into the soft mattress. Darius shook his head, unable to wipe the smile off his face as he left them to rest.

Maybe he could make just one of those uniforms... if only to humor them. Yes, that sounds right. Sitting back at his workbench, Darius grabbed some fuzzy fabric, making Raine's CATTS design. The things he does for his friends...

#toh tickle #lee!raine #ticklish!raine #ler!darius #sfw tickling community #tickle fic #tickle #the owl house tickle #the owl house #toh #raine whispers #darius deamonne #the CATTS

[norashelley]

15 People, 15 Questions

I was tagged by @oftwodarkmoons, thanks so much! This is long and I don't want to make people read it if they don't feel like it so I'll tag people first and put the rest under a read more! So if you feel like doing this I will tag - @murderballadeer @grusinskayas @chantalstacys @maudeboggins @jwclapton @emmybrown @nitrateglow @filminghere @oldhollywoodholla @joanleslies @valancystirling48 @ritahayworrth @patdevilles @gayworths @audreytotter

1. Are you named after anyone?

Although it's my grandma's middle name I was actually just named after a flower as were my other sisters.

2. When was the last time you cried? with physical tears? it's been a few years. my eye's are no longer capable of making tears. I cry internally at least once a week though.

3. Do you have kids?

No~

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

Never had any opportunities to play any but I always pretended to play sports, I won so many gold medals in various sports, figure and speed skating, gymnastics, track, and hockey, and the baseball world series, it was great! All the imagined glory, none of the stress!

5. Do you use sarcasm?

With my family, we all use sarcasm very heavily. I had to train myself to hold back with other people when I realized it was upsetting some of my friends who didn't get/like sarcasm. Now I wont use it at all unless I am sure we have a mutual understanding and enjoyment of it.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

In person I will notice hair first, that's usually the thing I focus on with people most since I have hard time looking into faces.

7. What’s your eye color?

Green

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Between the 2, happy endings. I'm scared enough in real life I don't need to add to it, though half the time scary movies I've sen aren't scary and just bore me. Although some movies I've liked are in the scary movie genre but they have good characters and plots and story development and are just kind of spooky, not scary.

9. Any talents?

Not really. I can do some pretty fancy whistling but that's a pretty pointless talent.

10. Where were you born?

In a tiny back room in my grandma's house.

11. What are your hobbies?

consuming media I suppose, movies and music mostly. I also enjoy spending time in nature and taking photos when I can.

12. Do you have any pets?

I have 3 cats now, only had 2 until recently when my neighbors moved and left their cat behind, had to save him from starving to death and dying of an infected wound he had so now he just lives with me.

13. How tall are you?

5'4, most average height ever.

14. Favorite subject in school?

History/literature, basically I just loved to read anything historical but I didn't like having to write about it. I'm only good at intake not output.

15. Dream job?

I don't even have one anymore... in a different life I would have liked to do cartoon voice acting or a food reviewer or something involving driving but those aren't things I could do now so I need to create some new dreams I suppose!

#about me #tag game #personal

[mrslittletall]

This morning, a side blog of mine got shadowbanned. It isn't even the first time it happened. It is my kink blog and it got shadow banned around the end of last year/start of the new year and when I tried to appeal for it, it got deleted for apparently having art of "underage characters in sexual depictions". Which was... not a thing on this blog. Yes, it is a kink blog, but I am pretty sure that a majority of the characters I reblogged are adults, the ones who were depicted in sexual positions were definitely adults and there were a few where I didn't know the age, but they clearly looked like adults. And I don't draw for this kink myself, so it couldn't have been my art. I only write and my writing is a) a link to AO3 b) tumblr allows to post erotica (which I didn't even do, it was a LINK. Thing is, my kink blog is one of the most harmless in the community and it is tagged and names are censored and I make sure that only people of the community should find it and not someone random who didn't want to see it. You have to know, other blogs of our kink have blatant IRL gifs of kink behaviour and sex and sometimes you can see downright genitals. IRL genitals! The only genitals I had on my blog were reblogged fanart and they were all tagged with nsfw so that people had something to block. And because this happened again, I am pretty sure that someone tries to damage me and reports my blog and that someone must be from within the community. I have no clue who it is and if I find them, I will block, it is just... When I saw the block shadowbanned, I was like "Man, that sucks" and moved on with my life. But over the day, I got really upset about it. And that was when it dawned on me... All the stuff that happened lately... I was barely hanging on a thread. My husband still in hospital -> Fine My cat got sick -> Fine My car is damaged -> Fine My stupid kink blog is shadow banned -> The end of the world. I was already having so much stuff to worry about, that this little thing, which was probably born from malice, made my mental health tank and I was close to tears for the rest of my morning and feeling like I want to go offline forever and live back in the 90ies because nobody cares about me and everyone hates me and they have fun taking the little things of joy of me that I still have. That thoughts spiralled into the thought that my husband could die during the transport to another hospital thanks to an accident, the thought that Geraldina would lie dead at home because her sickness was worse than I thought and finally the thought of me wanting to end it all because I couldn't live like this anymore. Yeah, the mental health was extremely in the dumps. I feel better now, I got over my intrusive thoughts. Geraldina is fine, my husband surely will not die during an accident and I won't take drastic measures. I just wonder... the people who do something like that, do they even think what the other person is going through? Maybe one day someone really does something they can't take back just because of something that should not be bad, but for them, it was the last drop into their barrel... Anyway, I wanted to say this here, where I have more followers and where I am not shadow banned, and excuse me, I will put this into the tag of my kink, because I want you guys to see my trouble.

#little talks about stuff #omorashi #if you see this anon blog reporter #I hope you feel guilty and choke at your guilt #thanks for letting me have a mental breakdown #suicide thoughts cw

[captorations]

tw: animal death (nonviolent, elderly.) long post which also features kittens named after TLT characters, to which the warning does not apply.

this is Twilight. he was named for the streaks of orange on his belly, which were even more pronounced as a kitten. not for the vampire series, thank you very much; that nonsense didn't take off until a few months after i named him. he was chosen to be a ten-year-old's first pet because his response to being picked up by a human, as a recently-captured feral kitten, was to purr. not stress-purr, either. his default response to any kind of attention was to purr, absurdly loudly, and this never changed at any point in his life.

he could be grouchy and unpredictable at times, and he never cared for other cats in his space, but he was quite content to live his life alongside mine. he was never a lapcat, preferring instead to curl up somewhere nearby and burst out into purring if i so much as looked at him. i learned his language, able to determine the difference between and meanings of his vocalizations, and he learned mine, responding to his name and offering attention when i was upset. one of the first times Twilight ever came up on my bed with me, when we were both very small, was after a nightmare. sure enough, he was often at my side as i struggled with constant nightmares throughout last year.

but, well. you read the warning. he passed in february, peacefully and painlessly. i miss him dearly. he was my companion for what will for a few years yet count as the majority of my life, and i will always be grateful to him for waiting to go until the evening my partner arrived back home, so she could be with me when he went.

he was, and i recognize that i am quite lucky to have avoided it for so long, the first lost loved one i've had to grieve. and i did grieve. i always will, a little bit. i may have cried while writing this. that's one of the reasons i didn't talk about it here until now.

the other reason is a happier one. i wanted to have good news along with the bad. and i do!

of course i'd thought about what i would do when Twilight passed. my plan was to find a bonded pair of adult cats in need of adoption. but then, as Twilight started to inch past the division between "old cat" and "elderly cat," my partner happened to befriend a feral breeding pair and work to socialize each year's kittens to, hopefully, make it more possible for them to be domesticated by someone else. no TNR programs out there in the sticks, and it wouldn't be ethical to try to domesticate the feral adults.

so. when Twilight passed, and once i had recovered from the worst of it, our attention turned to this year's kittens. it wasn't by any means a guarantee. we couldn't steal them at the ideal age, as the mother was clever and cautious, and taught them to be the same. all the more so because my partner had stolen one of a previous litter to be her mother's pet.

there were so many factors going into this. how many kittens would there be? how many would, and unfortunately this was something we could do nothing about, survive long enough to be socialized and captured? would they like us? would we be forced to make a heartbreaking choice, leaving one or even multiple kittens to remain wild, with all the danger and hardship that entails?

well, the answers to those questions are, in order: two, both, yes, and no. in other words, everything went perfectly. and i'm very glad it did, because i can't even pretend i didn't practically fall in love with them on sight.

i honestly thought my partner was messing with me when she reported a black cat with gold eyes and a grey cat with silver eyes. that couldn't be real. there was no fucking way the universe was handing me two kittens that perfectly match major characters from the locked tomb series, i.e. the most powerful influence on me since homestuck itself.

but no, that's what actually happened. and even though the grey kitten's eyes eventually turned gold too, it hardly mattered, when their personalities started lining up with the characters they resembled. i didn't plan to name my next cats after tlt characters. in fact, i'm a little wary of giving animals the names of characters at all, even derivatives thereof; i prefer to appreciate them as their own selves, not a reflection of another.

however, i make a policy of not ignoring serendipity. we captured them effortlessly, mostly thanks to my partner's work in socializing them. both my partner and i had name ideas, but we agreed not to discuss them until the kittens had been examined by a vet, both in case of health concerns and to confirm genders. sure, gender is fake, and even faker for pets, but whatever.

the vet visit was yesterday, and as we suspected, both are female. so, after comparing notes and compromising on names, i present to you: Nona and Millie, respectively.

i actually had planned to name the black kitten "Hark," but my partner convinced me otherwise, and honestly she's right. Nona suits her better, in personality, in her capacity for violence (against toys, neither has scratched or bitten us even once since capture) hidden by a meek and easily spooked front, and in her habit of following Millie's lead but sometimes wandering off and trying new things and/or getting into trouble. i'll get over the weirdness of the directly copied name soon enough. it's already led to fun sentences, like "Nona spent the entire ride home hiding under a towel." (Nona likes to hang out under things. Millie prefers to climb things. in my partner's terms, Nona is a bush cat and Millie is a tree cat.)

meanwhile, Millie is a double reference. she's mostly named for Camilla Hect, but also for the Millie from warrior cats, who is one of the MVPs of the series, fight me. as mentioned, Millie usually takes the lead between the two. she's a little more cautious about new things, but will accept them after Nona inevitably tries them first. she defaults to protecting Nona when they're both spooked, taking point in the defensive huddle.

please appreciate Nona hiding in the top right photo. she is a black cat who knows she's a black cat, and acts appropriately.

they've adjusted incredibly well. it took about a week for them to be indistinguishable from domestic-born cats, at least when they're around me. my partner handled socialization, getting them accustomed to humans enough that we could capture them with minimal stress. i'm handling domestication, the process of guiding them through their new environment and the expectations of exclusively indoor, household animals. (these expectations are: being cute, not causing too much chaos, keeping us company, and seeking attention at whatever frequency they choose.)

we're both very good with animals, but i have the advantage of being raised by two veterinarians. so even though they were almost four months old on capture, older than is recommended for domestication attempts, i was pretty damn sure i could pull it off. and i did, not least because they're both very smart and adaptable in their own right.

so! thank you for reading this absurdly long post about the personal life of an altogether fairly generic tumblr user. as a reward, you get a video of Millie being annoyed at Nona for going somewhere she can't follow. (note: when Millie goes somewhere Nona can't follow, Nona gets sad and upset and meows pitifully about it.)

#you're welcome. #kittens #the locked tomb

[krysmiss]

Weekly Tag Wednesday!!

Thank you pocket friends for tagging me! @mybrainismelted @such-a-barbarian @skylerwinchester @jrooc @lingy910y @dynamic-power @juliakayyy

1. which character from any media would you like to have as a father? Jack from This is Us. I need to rewatch but from what I remember, I think I'd like him as a dad. (Even though he dies when they're still kids)

2. if money, laws, time, and effort were no object, what animal would you want to have? A big cat. Either a tiger or lion.

3. what is your Chinese takeout order?  Usually something very basic like sesame chicken. Usually with lo mein unless I actually like the fried rice from the place.

4. what's your favorite emoji? I’m currently very into 🫠 and 😂

5. would you rather have a library, greenhouse, or home theater in your house? Yes.

6. what childhood tv show do you think of the most fondly? Ohh so many. I loved Arthur, The Berenstain Bears, Reading Rainbow, Liberty Kids... to name a few.

7. what was your tumblr like when you first joined? Oof that was so long ago lol. My Tumblr is basically a synopsis of my obsessions and interests throughout the years but is also full of random shit that I choose to reblog. I think that I'm alot more active and interactive with people now though.

8. what clothing style do you love but don't feel compelled to replicate yourself? Eh I don't really pay attention to clothing styles tbh.

9. if you were plopped into a fictional world, which one would you know the layout of the best? Mmm since I'm currently watching it, Bob's Burgers. Or SpongeBob. With a refresher, I think I'd do pretty good around Hogwarts too. Also maybe BOTW.

10. what is your favorite piece of art? I seriously considered putting a picture of Noel and Cam for this because I think that they are both gorgeous pieces of art but I won't. I don't have an answer to this though so...

11. do you have a water bottle? what does it look like? I have a few actually that I switch out. I usually always have one for home and one that I take and use at work though.

12. what fanfic trope is a quiet fave? Probably slow burn.

13. do you carry a daily bag? what does it look like? what's the weirdest thing in it? A basic crossbody bag. Uhh idk how weird it is but I have crystals in it that I carry with me.

14. if you had to ship Mickey with another Gallagher, who would it be? Probably Carl because they’d be absolutely ridiculous together.

15. what is a fanfic trope you didn't expect to like and then very much did? I don't normally venture outside of my normal tropes (canon compliant, smut, fluff and angst) but I am currently reading LRPD for fic club and I am so glad that I am. It has been SO good so far and I'm upset that I don't have as much free time as I used to have to read more but I'm making my way through it. So alternate first meeting? Slow burn? Whatever trope LRPD is - that.

16. Do you think s11 Mickey can still carry s11 Ian? I don't think so but I think that Mickey has tried. (I just thought of something so fucking sad about Ian being in a downswing and Mickey tries to carry him to bed but he realizes that he can't anymore and he gets mad at himself because he feels helpless. Fuck 😥)

17. who got custody of the killing bat when they sold the house? First person that I thought of was Carl but idk if that fits him anymore since he's a cop now. Ohh but I'll stick to that. It's not really used anymore though he just has it hanging up at the Alibi as more of an ode to his childhood and the Southside.

Super late but tagging a few peeps: @gallabitch73 @depressedstressedlemonzest @softmick and @jademickian unless you've already done it or don't want to - if so then here's a kitty for you 🐈 😊

#fuck me i was damn near done then this app crashed so i had to re-do this whole thing #im lowkey pissed. i took time to add a little razzle dazzle to my formatting but now im over it. #🙄🙄🙄 #tag game #weekly tag Wednesday #about me

[smol-fan-creations]

Angel Time!! 😉

I'm not posting these in order of favorites, it's just who's design gets finished first Lol

Angel and David's dynamic has me rolling every time I listen to his audios! David is an exception when it comes to Tsunderes for me because he truly makes sure to let Angel know how much he loves them! Most just seem to be written to be big jerks with little to no comfort for their love interest, but David has whole audios that are him comforting Angel. With that, my version of Angel has the name Archer and is the playful flirt we all know. Remember, this will have a bit of spice, talks of nightmares, breakdowns, and some spoilers!

How tall is David? The others have talked about how big he is, so I'm stretching ideas by imagining David as a whopping 6'6". I am aware of that size difference but hey, it leaves some room for hilarity.

Archer is an absolute punk, and while she enjoys poking fun at David, she would stop at a moments notice if she noticed he was upset.

Her junk food addiction consists of things like a lot of sugar, frozen pizzas, and pizza rolls. She even has a stash of it in her home office that she hides from David, "Ahhhhh, Davey!!! Hey babe, watcha need?!"

He actually knows about it but decides to keep quiet and watch how much she eats.

I imagine Archer mainly works from home but goes into the office for big meetings and group projects. She also goes on trips when there are things like conventions and conferences.

The first time David shifted, Archer was just giving him a bit of a hard time but felt bad for pressuring him. Afterward, though, she made a mental note to try to give him ear scratches later on.

I do want to address the video where David confronted the Listener thinking they were cheating.

Archer thought David wouldn't care about the cat situation, and she felt a mixture of guilt and anger at his response. Not gonna lie, she had to stop herself from crying because of how angry David was with her. She knew he had a right to be, but it didn't warrant the level of his outburst.

Afterwards, she probably would play Minecraft for a bit before sitting him down to talk the whole thing over again in a more calm state of mind. She is not going to just let it go without talking it out when they're both calmed down.

Archer during Inversion? The moment she arrived and heard about the situation, she asked all kinds of questions as to what was happening. When she figured out the department was waiting, anger boiled in her like a geyser.

Seeing David caused a dam to burst as she tackled him sobbing and kissing him. The aftershocks made her quiet and really careful about handling David's mental state.

The only time she slipped was when she saw the Department's video where they name-dropped David. A part of her wanted to uh... "speak with the commissioner directly." "I swear to Christ, I might commit a crime if they dare to mention your name again."

I can imagine David had some nightmares and tried to hide them from Archer, but she wouldn't have any of it. She also had similar issues, but of course not as severe as David’s.

When she is stressed, it can cause her to shut down emotionally and mentally. She becomes quiet and will drown herself in something she likes as a way to distract herself. At first, she tries her best to hide it from David, but once he figures it out, she begrudgingly allows him to comfort her.

I had an idea where David once gave Archer a stuffed Avocado as a present, and it is one of the most precious things she has now. She keeps it in her office to cuddle anytime she misses him.

I also imagine there has been a time when Archer has teased David so much at a pack meeting where he has just told her, "Run." She tried to hide with Asher, Milo, and their mates but failed.

SPICY TIIIIIIIME!!!

There are times where David will randomly pick Archer up, and she will become a flustered mess while also really being riled up.

This can be used against her though, as sometimes he will come just close enough to touch her but will walk away just as quick with a smug grin on his face.

That kind of teasing will get the whiniest reactions out of her, and she will try to latch onto him like a parasite. If he does ask her to stop, she'll do it in a heartbeat, but will give him looks and make noises that make her mood apparent.

Archer has made some jokes about David letting her uh... Be on top... And at some point, I can imagine him going, "I don't think you could handle that responsibility..." (I am fully aware David would never actually do this Lol)

Little Personal Thing: Archer really isn't into the whole... predator thing. So, in her storyline, that situation never happens.

#redacted asmr #redacted listener #redacted david #redacted davey/angel #redacted angel #tsundere boy #fight me #big boi

[tiffanylamps]

3, 5, 6, 29?

Turnip, so, I meant to reply to this hours ago, but then I got bought a burger and ate like... half of it... and had to sleep it off. But I am here now, half awake with a very upset cat to keep me company. Thank you for sending me this, I hope my answers are of interest 😊 The ao3 ask game

3) What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? This is a little hard to answer because I find small accomplishments in everything I write (I need about 3 months of distance to see the good in them, but I do see it eventually haha). But I think the one I should single out is my first fic in... 4 years... Indoctrination. I have tried to read it since publishing and gave up because I don't like the way I wrote that story. But I had given up writing in this style (fiction, 3rd person) for 4 years, sooooooo🤷‍♀️no wonder it's not the best During those four years, I had been mainly writing poetry/more introspective pieces, so Indoctrination is a massive accomplishment that I am proud of... even if I don't think it's all that good haha

5) What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? Easy, 3am. I didn't expect anyone to comment on that piece because it's not.... it's not. But I did receive some positive feedback and had interesting discussions with people, which was nice 😊

6) Favorite title you used This is also hard because giving my fics titles is one of my favourite parts of the writing process. I really like finding something that will highlight one of the main themes of the story. I normally do this through lyrics or quotes. Okay, I can't choose, so I'll just give you my top three (in no particular order): . Your Love's Whore (named after the song Your Loves Whore by Wolf Alice, which inspired that fic. I'm not linking that fic because I don't like it anymore haha)

In Another Moment Named so because of this quote:

“In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.”

- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

. courage to make love known Named so because of this quote:

“...Who could refrain, That had a heart to love, and in that heart Courage to make love known?”

― William Shakespeare, Macbeth

29) Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? I already answered this here. But I will give you a handful more from unpublished works. oh ho ho ho, aren't you lucky? (smh at myself)

Dong Sik bruises Joo Won's poor lips with a kiss, closing both their eyes for good so that look dies between them. Had he by some miraculous sequence of bad decisions slowly ruined this boy? Was his sorrowful plight a contagion? Was it fungi in the wood that rots from within?

-

Joo Won wishes for rain, a torrential downpour. With only rain can he be cleansed. Maybe if he were to embroider his wounds, he can be beautiful again. He knows he’s a liability and not an asset, but how glorious it was to finally not be needed; Dong Sik would be proud. He’s finally learned how to survive.

-

It was a breath of fresh air after a year of cigarette smoke and car fumes.

He knew they looked good together. Joo Won was able to make him laugh and he didn’t mind some of the man’s more annoying quirks. He thanks Dong Sik for that, the older man really set the standard for what Joo Won can now tolerate. The first few weeks of their casual fling were easy, the librarian enjoyed showing Joo Won the town he grew up in, and Joo Won enjoyed learning new things.

They had kissed a few times, mostly just sweet pecks on the lips or a kiss on the cheek. The first time they kissed for real, Joo Won tried everything within his power to not compare. But he knew deep down he didn’t get the same rush as he did with his last par… But that was a good thing, he convinced himself and slipped his tongue in.

-

Joo Won never felt more like dust upon long-forgotten trophies. Once interesting, once beautiful, once a useful item to paint the picture of excellence for a dynasty he brought down to the ground. Kill the boy to become the man. Slay the father to be cleansed of his sin. That man looked like his father. 

He’s a show dog, wasn’t it about time someone put him down? He can’t compete, so what was his use?

-

Dong Sik is his Elpis and Joo Won wants nothing more than to love him.  

It was shocking to him that this decision didn’t feel rash. He knew it was right. Dong Sik deserved to be loved, even if he had a flock by his side ready to do just that. It doesn’t matter, Joo Won decides, he’s willing to try. He hesitates to believe he’s worthy as one of those who loves Dong Sik, but the older man says his name so sweetly and looks at him like Joo Won is the missing piece of a puzzle, the finishing touches of gold thread in his tapestry, the subject of his masterpiece.

Everyone must feel this way under Dong Sik's genuine smile, he had that ability to make anyone feel like they were the only one that matters. Joo Won knows this. He knows better now but it didn’t stop him from vowing to make himself beautiful for Dong Sik's portrait.

-

Joo Won gives his lofty attention to the couple adjacent to his right, the good-looking woman was still whispering in the man’s ear. He was definitely enjoying whatever it is she was saying if his clear arousal was anything to go by. “Inspector Han,” Dong Sik's voice is close to his ear again and Joo Won suddenly understands the state the man is in. 

Dong Sik seems very pleased with himself and Joo Won knows what he’s going to have to do. He scoots himself along with the pink leather until his broad shoulders are shielding Dong Sik from the couple, which he seems to enjoy if his smouldering smile is anything to go by. He’s like a lioness taking a drink at the watering hole and Joo Won is the crocodile stalking in a shallow grave.

-

“I got a lot in return.”

For once Joo Won’s eyes did not look through him - into him - with a dismissive roll or a suspicious scowl, nor do they plead, beg, or cry from the pain Dong Sik created. Instead, they blink and well with understanding. He looks away and his body softens with the heaviness of knowing. 

Finally.

-

Love isn’t a craving. It isn’t a hunger pang that can be satisfied with a good feed. It isn't whimsy that is silly and vacillating, wandering from the urges of the ego to the wanting of the carnal. Nor is it the remedy for loneliness. It’s heartbreak, a bittersweet yearning for something you do not have. The desire to be with the one that compliments you on a level that goes beyond the temptations of guilt, lust, or notions as fickle as happiness. Love is the bonding of souls combining their fears, woes, passions, ambitions and strife- it is irrevocably unifying yourself to another with the hopes that it will last.

Love is fleeting and all-consuming. It’s the need to reach out and touch what could so easily slip into the abyss. It is unavoidable, glorious, and so frightening. More real than a spiritual awakening, more devastating than a missed opportunity. It is nature. It is natural. It is the knowledge that even though it will end (as all things do), whether that be from heartbreak or death, no matter how much that pain frightens you, you are still willing and wanting. It is the absolute trust that you will endure whatever you may face with your partner’s aid, together as a unit, beautifully pushing forward. 

That’s how he knows he doesn’t love this boy. You trust those you love. Nor does he love him back. 

Oh god, what has he been doing?

- Okay, I'll leave that there, as the list is getting a bit ridiculously long. Those are parts from just two fics that I wish to complete one day because I love them so much. They're definitely my longest wips (as in, it's taking the longest amount of time to complete them). Anyway, I hope this was interesting! ttfn 😊

#ask game #ask answered #thank you <3 #i need to learn when to stop haha

[hazyaltcare]

Heya! Could I request some positivity for a Peppermint Patty (Peanuts)?

The reason may seem kinda stupid but whatever. Recently I found this one short (not saying the name for like privacy(?) and like personally comfort) about the Peanuts. I read the plot synopsis being the curious cat I am but I wish I didn't. I wasn't in it but god the things that happened. Now, it's hard for me to think without thinking of violent images related to what I had read. It distresses me to see my friends portrayed in such a way and it hurts me to have these thoughts because I don't want to!! I practically have to remind myself that my friends aren't dead or killers. I have to physically read the comics or watch the movie/animated specials again. I just don't know what to do, I want these thoughts to go away and never come back.

Hello, and thank you for your question.

I don't think the reason is stupid at all. It's common for fiction-folks to read/watch/listen to source media that inadvertently triggered or upset them, and I sympathize with you.

I'm so sorry to hear that seeing the synopsis affected you so much. It's okay to be hurt by these thoughts, and to be upset by the short, even if you know the author is not in the wrong for making it. Many people get upset with depictions of characters in movies, especially those with personal connection to it, most of all your personal friends. I understand that it may feel stupid to be so distressed by "just" the synopsis, but even synopses can be graphic or elicit vivid images in your head. I wish it was easier to get those thoughts out, too.

That show is not real, though. At the very least, it's not what happened in your Peanuts timeline or in this life, or in the comics/show canon.

It's definitely okay to watch the shows or read the comics again to cope, to remind you that your friends are kind, and alive, and well. I hope you can do those things soon.

(Advice start, please ignore if unwanted)

If you have anyone you trust to talk about this with, maybe you can ask them for reassurance that your friends aren't like in that short, or comfort?

If you have any distractions, maybe you can focus your attention on that instead. Maybe something cute and wholesome to get your mind off the terrifying scenes? Or maybe something complicated that forces you to use your entire brain energy to work undistracted, like a puzzle, or a difficult video game, or writing, or something like that. I personally like using noise music to silence my triggering thoughts, but your mileage may vary.

(Advice end)

Anyway, I send you my support. And I hope you find a way to get those thoughts off your head. You deserve some peace of mind.

Mod Vintage (⛔)

#anonymous #positivity #peanuts kin #peppermint patty kin #kin positivity #fictionkin #fictionkin positivity #tw death #death #tw killing #tw murder #mod vintage #⛔

[rosenongrata]

wishes for another day – 2/11

summary: A collection of birthday fics for Genshin Impact characters, feat. a variety of OCs from a private fic – Divine Spark.

a/n: yes this is OC-related yes you will enjoy it– anyway... this was meant to be finished on Alhaitham's birthday, but i didn't get around to it until this month >.< OC's name is Dextra Corvi! they're from my original story, The Great Rift/Starfield ~

c.w/s: OC x Canon, OC-insert, Crossover. fluff!!! there's an elderly cat. cyno makes a single pun. kaveh is sleep-deprived (no surprise there). birthday celebrations :3

w.c: 2k

After Alhaitham left the house for the day - off to work as he always does - Dextra visits his home. Well, his shared home - with Kaveh, of course. Dextra - as observant as ever - took mental notes about Alhaitham's schedule throughout the day. Not that they're stalking him, but they noticed after knowing him for long enough. And why did they choose to arrive once he left? Well…

Knock, knock.

Two taps against the wooden door of the home are all Kaveh needs to drag himself to the door. He had been up all night again because he was slaving away at refining his blueprints. He desires nothing more than sleep right now, wishing this headache he calls "work" would disappear for a little while.

"Oh. Dextra." As the other holds the heavy door open, Kaveh yawns behind his free hand, "…Alhaitham has already gone to work if that's who you're looking for."

Dextra shakes their head, which is still covered by their trusty masked helmet. The digital expression on their mask, though, clearly signifies their upset mood with the sad face it shows. Kaveh plants both of his hands on his hips, waiting for them to use their words instead of having himself guess away at what could be wrong.

"Dextra. Words, please—" Kaveh sighs.

"Sorry…" Dextra finally speaks up, their voice raspy and low - like always. "Humans celebrate their date of birth, yes? And today is Alhaitham's birthday…?" They ask quietly.

"Oh." Kaveh blinks, his arms immediately dropping to his sides, "Do…Starlings not celebrate birthdays?" Dextra shakes their head in response, "Well, then. But you want to try getting him something, I guess. I wouldn't bother, though. He doesn't care about his birthday at all." He explains with a bit of bitterness in his tone.

The expression on Dextra's mask somehow seems sadder than before, but their tone gives no hint to their disappointed mood.

"Alright, then. I will leave you be, then, Mr. Kaveh." Dextra bows a little before turning on their heel.

"Wait a second—" Kaveh sighs, reaching out to them but never touching. "I'll help you, okay?" He retracts his hand before Dextra turns around, "Even if he doesn't celebrate his birthday that much… I think he'd somehow appreciate you the most if someone were to give him something for his birthday." And finally, their mask's expression turns neutral.

"Thank you, Mr. Kaveh." Dextra nods, "Please…teach me how to celebrate a human's birthday."

Sigh.

That's what Kaveh and Dextra do in unison.

"All he likes is books and…more books." Kaveh groans, dragging his hands down his face as he flops back against the couch rather dramatically.

"I do not believe he'd…be able to translate Starling books, my apologies. I suppose I could translate them - as Starlings are omnilingual—" Dextra begins.

"…You're omnilingual? What is that even like?" His hands drift to his lap, pinkish eyes firmly locked onto Dextra - giving them a mild spook mentally.

"Oh, uhm… I am unsure how to explain it as it is an evolutionary trait of my species…" They twiddle their thumbs.

"An evolutionary trait?! You've got it all, huh…" He exclaims in wonder.

"…Oh." They mumble as their stellar heart sinks at his insensitivity, but they are so quiet and withdrawn that he doesn't notice.

"I'm - uh - sure he'd be fascinated by those books you have, though. Give it a shot. I'm still certain he'd appreciate anything from you of all people." He recommends; crossing his arms across his chest.

"I will…try. Thank you, Mr. Kaveh." They abruptly rise to their feet, "I will leave you be now. I apologize if I was a poor guest." They bow before turning and walk to the door, "Goodbye. Do have a good rest of your day." They leave.

"Hey—!" He jumps to his feet moments too late, "Ugh… They're about as careless as him sometimes…" He sighs, "…I need more sleep."

Dextra wanders the sunlit city of Sumeru - feeling a bit hopeless after their discussion with Kaveh. They meander - walking from shop to shop, eyes failing to catch onto anything of interest. As they mosey through the city, they fail to notice a stray cat tailing behind them - and then the elderly cat meows. Dextra jumps in surprise.

"Huh?" The Starling whirls around and looks down, immediately spotting the greying face of an old cat. "Oh… One of those…felines." They crouch down, rubbing a hand over the animal's back.

The cat then promptly crawls up onto them, clawing their way up to rest comfortably against the stranger's shoulder.

"Oh—" Dextra laughs lightly, "Alright… I guess I've been adopted." They smile beneath their mask. "…Perhaps Alhaitham will enjoy you, too. He could use a cat to take care of instead of reading all the time. A nice furry friend for both of us…."

Standing upright once more, they cradle the cat in one hand - holding them firm against their chest and shoulder. As they return to cruising the streets, they find themself in the Grand Bazaar, a newfound hope rustling in their chest. They stop at several shops in the bazaar - still failing to find anything that would make a good birthday gift.

They sigh a little.

And then something small - maybe even cute - catches the corner of their eye. Their head pivots in the direction of the object of their desire, spotting little plants in equally little painted pots. They stalk up to the vendor - accidentally spooking the owner, causing them to gasp and clutch their chest. Dextra's mask's eyes slant upward to take the shape of quiet remorse.

"Oh!" The owner pieces the puzzle together with ease, "My bad. I didn't mean to offend." They smile wearily.

"Hardly. It is my bad - I did not mean to scare you. I—" They go to speak more but are interrupted by the cat meowing at them - as if being told to not overexplain. "Alright, kitty…" They sigh under their breath.

"Hehe, I like your friend here." The vendor smiles a bit brighter. "Anyway, you interested in these succulents? I grew them myself!"

"Ah… Succulents…" Dextra nods as if they understand what those are - they don't, though. "Would they…make an appropriate birthday gift? It is my friend's birthday today, he is a wielder of a Dendro Vision. So, I was thinking he might like it…"

"Haha," The owner giggles, "Sorry, I don't mean to laugh at you. You kinda talk like you've never gotten a gift for someone before," She shrugs, "But that's not my business. My business is to know if you'd like to purchase one or not!"

"That's quite alright." They nod, "Ah… Let me…look over each one."

They observe each one, finding their designs rather colorful and - above all - fascinating.

But one in particular stands out the most…

The deep red one has a bright green center - the red almost appears black in most lighting. Dextra stares long and hard at it before pointing to it.

"This one, please." They murmur.

"Of course! That'll be 500 Mora." She nods.

"Ah, right, money…" They fold their spare hand behind their back, manifesting falsified Mora from thin air - and double the amount required. They hand the bag over to the vendor. "Here. Keep the change. I…imagine having to buy and grow your own plants can be costly."

"W-Wow! Thanks, stranger!" She sputters out, having to hold the heavy bag of gold with both hands. And when she glances up to speak once more, her mouth hangs agape - they had already disappeared, all with the red and green succulent in hand.

"No cats allowed, Dextra."

Cyno says firmly to the lonely Starling that stands before him, his hands firmly placed on his narrow hips. The eyes of their mask turn upward and blue, depicting their sadness.

"Do not give me that face." He retorts.

"But it is Alhaitham's birthday." Dextra mumbles. "This elderly cat and the succulent are his gifts."

"…You got him a cat and a plant." He echoes, putting a hand to his chin. "I am not certain how he would feel about that… But…this is Alhaitham we're talking about."

"Yes, these are my presents. I understand he finds solace in my presence, so I would like to leave him with something that is not book-related and a reminder of my…affections for him." They explain softly.

"You sound like you're about to leave him forever…" He murmurs, "Are you?"

"I must return home to The Great Rift for a while - which is very far and quite dangerous to get to from here." They nod, "I do not wish to leave Teyvat for good yet, but my matriarch requires my presence." They sigh.

"…Alright." He nods, "You may drop the cat and plant off at Alhaitham's office." His arms drop to his sides.

"Thank you, General."

"Call me Cyno, please. And I will…C-ya." He mentally grins before striding off, feeling rather proud of himself for that joke.

Unfortunately, the joke goes right over Dextra's head.

After sneakily stumbling around the Akademiya for a while, they finally find themself at the Grand Sage’s office – quickly spotting Alhaitham at the grandiose desk, packing things away to return to his former place of work as the Grand Scribe. The career he finds most comfortable – something that doesn’t require and beg for his attention at every turn.

He hasn’t spotted Dextra yet, though. He appears to be quite engrossed in packing his things. When they approach the desk with hesitant and silent steps, he barely manages to spot them from the corner of his eye – and not without his shoulders jolting in slight surprise.

“Dex.” He greets them with a nod, straightening his posture and turning toward them from behind the desk, “…What’s with the cat and plant?” He asks, dual-toned eyes glancing from one to the other. For once, someone’s intentions fly right over his head.

“I have…recently come to learn that humans celebrate their birthdays and that…today is your birthday.” They inform him, “So, uhm… Happy birthday, Alhaitham.” They mutter, shyness overflowing from them.

“Hmm… So you…picked up a cat and a plant for me? I can’t say I expected this, but I’ve come to learn that you have your own special ways of doing things.” He smiles softly, walking away from the desk to approach them.

His hand hovers above their shoulder – they can see a slight tremble in his fingers – before grasping it with tender strength, giving them a reassuring squeeze. He’s not adept at physical affection, but he concluded a while back that even the stars need a healthy dose of it – or, at the very least, desire it from time to time.

“…Thank you, Dex.” He smirks a little more, his free hand running over the elderly feline’s head – eliciting loud purrs. “Quite the noisy one…” He chuckles.

“Oh… Is it unusual?” They ask wearily.

“Hardly, some simply happen to be quieter.” He answers, “Let me guess… The cat found you first?” He teases lightly.

“Uhm…” They turn their head away, flustered at being caught, “Yes…” They sigh.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Dex,” His head tilts, “I’ve come to notice that Starlings attract a lot of wildlife – I suspect it’s due to your elemental presence that lures diurnal creatures… Including humans…such as myself.”

“Ah—” They clear their throat, it had suddenly tightened and dried up from the sudden onset of embarrassment. “Is this what humans call…flirting?” They whisper.

“Hmhm, perhaps.” He teases, “You know… I’d like to request one more present.”

“Like what…?”

“Even if this is not the last time I get to see you – let me see your face.”

“I…” They trail off, their whole face burning, “Alright…” They nod – their helmet dissipating with faint flurries of sparkles and colorful dust, “A-Are you happy?” They look away from him until he grabs their chin between two fingers and tilts them toward his gaze, “Ah – what…”

“You’re beautiful, Dextra,” He mutters, leaning toward them until they’re mere centimeters apart, “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, alright? And honestly…” He whispers hotly against their ear, “Your scars are pretty attractive to me.” He smirks before pressing a loving kiss to their hot cheek.

“I-I—” They sputter out, eyes blinking on repeat and their head filled with a dizzy type of confusion.

“You know what,” He whispers against their skin – letting the heat burn his lips until they tingle, “I’ll be more than happy to take care of both of them – the cat and plant. I will treasure them to the very end.” He sighs, “Thank you, Dextra.”

#mine #oc #original character #genshin impact #crossover: genshin x starfield #oc: dextra #alhaitham x oc #fic: wishes for another day #alhaitham #kaveh #cyno #fic: divine spark

[newswritermel]

First Friends Matter

The first friend you make in life sets the tone for all other relationships. At least I believe that. I am fortunate that my first friend was wonderful. Her name was KayKay. KayKay was a year or two older than me. She lived next door to us in Montgomery, Alabama. Our neighborhood includes a row of what was called VA homes because they were bought by GIs who got government benefits for their service. The homes were highly affordable to these men, most who fought in World War 2, and who were now starting families as part of the baby boom. From what I remember, KayKay was a general's daughter. I don't remember her parents although I remember liking them very much. I suppose KayKay was likely the first child I met because there are pictures of me as a baby with her next to me. She and I were different personalities. KayKay did stuff for no reason at all other than she could. She had no substantial fear and created whatever she thought of. I was always more cautious. My dad said I was born nervous. I liked to color within the lines, made sure my work was perfect and wasn't as apt to try things that posed a significant risk of failure. Unless I was with KayKay. There was a metal, chain-linked fence that separated our yards. The entries were at the front of the fence facing the street so there was no good way to move back and forth between yards without getting permission from parents to leave the backyard and go down the other driveway. KayKay figured out that we weren't technically leaving our assigned spaces if we climbed over the fence. She did it readily and encouraged me to do it two. I was probably three and wasn't so sure about this idea. "Come on," she said from her yard. Her blonde hair blew in the summer breeze, getting into her face. She brushed it out of the way. "I did it. It's not hard. Just put your feet in the holes and climb." I finally relented and climbed the fence, even managing to get over the scary top that was a full four feet off the ground. I was in her yard. My fear of getting into trouble quickly waned as she showed me her hideaway that she created in a group of bushes. It was kind of like a cave but with greenery. We sat in there and talked and then she decided we needed a snack. I'm sure that her mother already had seen us and called my mother because Mama wasn't out looking for me. She never let me out of her sight. Snacks and drinks came and we talked about castles, princes, dogs, and cats. It was quite the conversation. Eventually, Mama came out a called and it was time to go. Surprisingly, she wasn't upset to see me climb over the fence to return to our yard. She was rather proud. "You're becoming a big girl, aren't you," she said as I trotted to her. She hollered at KayKay to tell her thanks for looking after me. "You're welcome," KayKay shouted back as she headed inside her home. The friendship with KayKay lasted a year or so before I was told she and her family were moving. I wasn't sad but I didn't really understand what moving meant. I was told she would come back to visit or there would be phone calls. Phone calls came and went. Then, they stopped. She never came back. I don't know where she is now or how her life turned out but I will always remember her kindness to the little cautious kid next door. In my mind, she will always be my first best friend, the first one to accept me, and the first one to get me to try something new. For that, I am grateful.

#friendship #nostaliga #1960s #childhood

[girlfrandletters]

Open Letter To My Ex-Boyfriend

This isn't an accusatory letter, nor is it a cry for pity. It's not meant to place blame or cause harm, merely to explain and, maybe, allow for some understanding, on both of our parts.

~~~~~

Hello.

I hope this letter finds you well, and I truly do hope you're living a peaceful happy life right now. I know I am. Even when I am shaken by bouts of anxiety and panic about certain things, I am happy.

I am working at a good practice, as a veterinarian. Whether or not that surprises you, I'll leave that up to you. After so many years of watching me flounder in the stress that school caused me, I hope you are at least a little pleased to know that I did end up making it through to the end. I have two very sweet, loving cats of my own, one a long haired black cat named Azriel, and a short haired black cat named Cassian. They always want to be snuggling with me. I know you would have hated that. There is a third cat, an orange and white girl named Ginger, who belongs to the man I currently live with - I guess she is also technically my cat as well. She was his, but we share an apartment and share our lives and our time so... she's mine too.

Right now I'm lying in bed, him lying next to me, Azriel hugging my arm as I type and Ginger lying at our feet. I'm not sure where Cassian is. I'm thinking about how odd it is to be here, and all the things that had to happen for this to have been made real. I met this guy while on a last scroll through of Tinder before I deleted it forever. I had the Tinder after you broke up with me. You broke up with me after years of clearly being unhappy with me. We had those years because you were the friend of my previous boyfriend, who I met through a work colleague. He started dating me because I was complaining about my first boyfriend and after we had broken up, he had jumped on immediately. It goes on and on. I wouldn't change a moment of any of it, even the bad stuff.

I think I am going to marry this man. I love him deeply and he has been nothing but the most stable support I could ever ask for. I know marriage was never on the table for us, and I never really realized how much of a fundamental difference that was. This guy has made me realize that I am very much ready to get married, have children and really settle down. But it took a lot to get to this point. 2 years in, and I am still having moments of doubt and concern that I am not good enough, that one day, in 2 years, he will decide he's had enough of me and he needs to leave.

You did that to me.

I gave you all of me, wholeheartedly, without real concern. I gave you my precious time, my money, my attention and my affection. And you enjoyed it, for a time. Until you didn't. Not only did you cheat on me and ruin my confidence to its very core, you manipulated me into doing what you wanted, got annoyed when I wouldn't talk to you about how I was feeling, then put me down for feeling certain ways when I did work up the courage to speak to you. You got angry when I would take the time to gather my thoughts and send them to you in a text message, claiming you hated the "novels" I sent. And I'm starting to realize you never actually read a single one of them. Because I told you things that were very dear to me and important to me and the working of our relationship... and you completely ignored them. You used to get annoyed when I would have my moments of panic in school, telling me that if I wasn't confident in myself, that I'd never be a vet and I should just give up and do something else then. How do you say that to someone? You put down my fears and anxieties, then got mad when I joked about yours. You made me feel like I was crazy for being upset for you not answering the phone for hours - after you told me you'd be ready for a call in 10 minutes. I realize that being long distance was hard, and I know that maybe the times when we had time differences made it different. But towards the end, I would cry myself to sleep, cause I hoped to talk to you at least to say good night before I went to bed, and you wouldn't answer - not even to tell me you were busy. Then called 2 hours later, when it was 1 or 2 in the morning for me. I used to lose sleep, waiting for you to call me back.

The night Jacqui messaged me, with her message about sleeping with the same guy, I thought it couldn't possibly be real. You would never do that to me. And when I woke you up, when I heard the way you responded when I told you about her... that's when my heart broke. And I'm not entirely sure it was ever truly fixed after that. I tried to do everything to make it work. I tried an open relationship because that's what you wanted. You explained your feelings about having different people in a way that didn't make sense to me, but I tried anyway because I wanted to make this work. I even tried to sleep with someone while I was at school. I thought, if you had someone, then maybe I could try it. I couldn't. It made me physically ill to kiss another person, knowing that I was in love with you. I put so much into changing my beliefs and desires for you. And then when I finally told you that I couldn't do it, you said that you knew that. You knew I'd never be able to do an open relationship. And yet you continued to watch me struggle with it.

The day that Jacqui wrote that horrible comment on a photo - asking if the photo was taken before or after you told her I wasn't good enough for you - and you sided with her. You told me to not be so sensitive, not to allow other people to affect my emotions like that. You told me to stop crying because I needed to grow up, instead of telling her to not disrespect your girlfriend. I think I knew then that we would never make it far together. I still tried, I think, to save face. I had defended you and our relationship to my family for so long, I couldn't just give up on it now. I continued to allow myself to endure the emotional abuse because I didn't want my mother to say "I told you so." And you know her, she absolutely would have.

In that final year, I started to wonder what it would be like to break up with you, to no longer have you as a fixture in my life. And I found that...

I wasn't upset with the idea.

I didn't cry because I feared losing you. I would worry more so about how I would make it happen. HOW I could make it happen. I was always terrible with communication. But I thought that maybe at the right time, I could tell you I'd had enough. But I never could. I couldn't bring myself to cause that heartache to you. But now I know that I should have, and it wouldn't have caused you much heartache at all.

I wonder sometimes if you felt anything at all after you hung up the phone that day. I wonder if you knew that I cried for the whole night, not really for you and for us and what we just lost... but because it was over, and I had let myself endure so much for so long... to be told that I wasn't good enough.

I'm not fully in the clear in this, and I am aware of this fact. I clung to you like a drowning man clings to driftwood. I made you out to be this savior, to be my salvation and that was unfair. I came to you with anxieties and worries that you were not mentally equipped to deal with. You pretended like you did in the beginning, but as we got further along, you realized that it was more than just a rich-bitch-crying-for-help type of thing. I think you started to realize just how deeply fucked up I was, and you were not able to handle yourself and me at the same time. And I'm not blaming you for that. Over the last few months, I've learned that there was a lot of deep seated past traumas that were so far repressed in me, that I didn't even know how to acknowledge them, and yet they dictated a lot of how I acted, and felt, and thought. And I used you as my driftwood. Which was unfair. I held you to a standard you could never have been, not at that time. When you weren't Just Perfect, I got upset. When you didn't say the right thing, I would cry. When you tried to have a healthy balance of life, I got jealous. Can you believe that I used to. get jealous of RetroFitness, because of all the time you spent there? It's so stupid, I know, but I was jealous of that time, because that was time that we were not together. I was not a healthy person, though I thought I was. Seeing where I am now, I can see that I was as far from healthy as a cancer patient. I was a dying human.

I don't think you really knew the full extent to which I felt my emotions. I never really got to explain them fully to you. And I hope you'll bear with me as I go through these next few thoughts. Again, I mean them not to garner pity, but merely for you to understand the things that made me who I was and am.

I was passively suicidal. I would think about cars hitting me while I drove, I fantasized about a burglar breaking into our house and either killing me as a primary crime, or to remove a witness. I can't tell you how many times I used to sit on the beach, and wonder what would happen if I just swam out too far and drowned. That first night we ever talked on videochat in that stupid dingy Philly apartment, you were seeing an aftermath of one of the worst raging panic attacks I've ever had. I've only ever had 2 since that moment. I know I told you this, but you cannot understand the abject terror I felt when I blinked and realized I was standing in the kitchen with the largest kitchen knife held over my wrist. I don't remember going to the kitchen. I barely remember making it inside the apartment. I've never used a knife before. I cut myself with my fingers. I scratched and scratched and scratched until I hurt deeply. I used to drink myself into blackness every night because I thought maybe one day, I just wouldn't wake up. You seemed like a light at the time, and I grasped you and held you aloft and used you to work my way out of that darkness.

But I ended up feeling more alone as time went on. I realized that you couldn't save me, nor should I have ever expected you too. I lost my ability to be able to talk to you, I lost the outlet I once had. I had all these pent up feelings and no way to release them. And I started to get more and more in my own head, more and more incapable of accepting and working through my traumas and flaws. By the time you broke up with me, I was a shell of what I should have been, I felt unloved, unappreciated, underwhelming, and like I'd never be good enough for you. Or anyone for that matter. I tried to use that time afterwards to heal, but I wasn't ready for that. I was able to drink without fear of disappointing you. I was able to sleep with whoever I wanted for whatever reason I wanted and I did. I fucked guys because they were attractive for a night. I fucked them because I wanted to erase the memory of you. There was one guy though, a guy who I thought was just going to be around for a night, but ended up making the rest of my time in school bearable. But he ended up just increasing those feelings you had instilled in me. Not that he's super important to what I have to tell you. But he was another person who I allowed to push me and manipulate me and get me to that ledge where, with one more word, he could have sent me spiraling to my death.

....

It's funny.

The night I started talking to the guy I'm with now, I was going to quit online dating and go on that mediative reflective journey to "find myself" and "become a better me," or whatever horseshit phrase the cool kids are saying now.

In the end, I did go on that journey, but I did it with him by my side.

Since being with him, I've realized all the things that I'd been missing with you. He provided me with the unconditional support, the encouragement, the sex, the affection, the interest that I never really got from you - not to the capacity that I needed it. He was able to see where I was going wrong and steer me in the right direction, whether or not me meant to do that. I'll never presume to know where you were in your own mental health journey, but I think he understood where I was a lot better, because he had been to that brink as well. You used to talk a lot about wanting to "jump off a cliff." But I don't know if you were ever actually at that point. You loved life too much. You loved attention and people and stories. Not to sound like an asshole, but you were, in a way, a very selfless person and would never have actually killed yourself.

But this guy... he stood on a bridge and contemplated that jump, just like I sat on a cliff and contemplated mine.

When I was in the throws of a raging panic attack, struggling to gulp down air to breath, clawing at my skin, crying until my eyes burned, he was able to talk me through a lot of things that made me realize that a lot of what I felt and how I reacted was from the way I grew up, from the things that happened when I was a kid, and even before then. Before my adoption, before I was really cognizant of what was happening. Without boring you, I can say that he helped me realize that I have a very deep core fear of abandonment, likely from being left by my birth family. I have a fear of attachment and, ironically, touch, because of what happened with my brother. When I am in a very bad spiral, I can't stand being touched. I don't know if you ever knew that.

The point of all this is to say that he knew the right words, the right actions, the right looks and touches. He knows how to communicate to me when I am in a spiral, no matter how deep. And he knows how to talk about his own concerns - paranoias and fears and worries, and stresses.

We are a couple of people with similar experiences and are able to share them with each other. You and I were never a couple who could do that. And I think that, at its core, is what kept us from working. We were two vastly different people. We were not "the same people with different view points," as I like to see myself and this guy. We were two very different people with two very different view points.

But I have found the person that I am going to marry, the one I intend to spend the rest of my life with. I am happy with him, and comfortable. I like what we have built and I look forward to what we will be continuing to build in the future.

I hope you have found the same, or that you will find the same. I know everybody grows up, everybody becomes different given enough time. And I can only hope that you have found a way of life that is good for you. I hope you've got a life that you are content with and I hope you have a long life, for whatever it's worth. I never wished any ill to you, even if those videos of me cutting that pillow and breaking that mug might speak otherwise.

I know you will never read this, and this letter is actually not even the important things I wanted to say. Maybe I'll write a different one next time, more concise, to the point. To drive those points home that actually matter. But until then, I'll be happy with this novel of word vomit and hope it brings me a little more peace to help me sleep at night.

Sincerely, Your Ex-Girlfriend

[syrupwit]

Write something about Big Ears, the Cat Horrific.

*Your Cruelest Friend voice* This isn't Dragon Age fanfiction, so I'm not going to tag the blog.

(I wrote this in 15 minutes as a warmup, timed, while mostly not allowing myself to stop or edit! Thank you so terribly much for the prompt, Alexander.)

-

What can be said of Big Ears, the Cat Horrific? What other animal commands such potent memory? Man may be an animal, and a spirit as well; but cat is no spirit, and a cat with spirit such to imitate a man -- such a fact cannot be borne, cannot be borne, cannot be borne. Big Ears had big ears, for a cat, but not for a man. They had tufts at the edges and went up alarmingly. The tufts, not the edges, although those also went up. Big Ears had a frightening face and a gentle raspy tongue. Few experienced the gentleness of that cat. I will get to the name in a moment. You must forgive me, I cannot help rambling. The name -- when you said the name, everything in my heart and mind became immersed in fizzy water, scattered through with bubbles like fizzy water, and my thoughts and intentions were upset like a glass of fizzy water, a trickling waterfall. Big Ears. Well I remember that cat. But I must tell you.

Big Ears, the Cat Horrific, was the ruler of a small enclave of cats who lived under a truck. The truck had been idle for years, decades, centuries, or possibly just an hour, depending on who you talked to about it. Big Ears could leap on top of the truck, and that was why he was the cats' ruler. They elect their rulers based on criteria like this. Cats are not smart. Human beings, of course, are not much smarter, so don't go swelling your big apely head about it. Apes -- apes can imitate. I imitated Big Ears in his courage, his largeness, at times his generosity, at times his ferocity, at times his lust for fish, at times his lust for dirt -- cats can have pica -- I forgot what I was saying. As a cat with a spirit imitates the spirit of a human, living so close to humans as cats do, so I chose to imitate and play the ape to Big Ears, the Cat Horrific. Why Horrific? Well, I will tell you in a moment.

It's hard to know what to tell anyone. Words get lost most of the time, between people, as if we were passing them over our shoulders and behind each other and tossing them, sometimes, with weak wrists. I have limp and weak joints. It's because I didn't get enough nourishment as a child, like a cat who was the runt of the litter. I'm lying. But what about? You couldn't know. Big Ears knew things sometimes in the way a cat does, due to their extra senses that are simply normal senses for them. Can you imagine if we went around telling dogs -- in my imagining, dogs are sentient -- can you imagine if we went around telling them that we had special powers because our vision is so much better than theirs? I think that would be unbearable of us, the terrible apes that we are.

Who gave Big Ears his name and his title? I have not told you of his paws. They were larger than his ears, very plush, and very intimidatingly clawed. But he was gentle with them to kittens. I couldn't abide a cat who mistreated kittens. I don't know if cats see that as a matter of any importance, but it mattered to me, which is why I went into the diamond and lab equipment trade (long story) with Big Ears and not his competitor, Tormelion the Fierce.

Cats are a bit like candles: they flicker. Oh, no, that's the flame, or the spirit of the cat. I have already said that most cats have no spirit. Are not spirited, as humans are. Spirits have been on my mind lately, as I am quite old now and can feel mine departing from me. Soon it will move down to the silence of the shallows, the shallow pool, the still and shallow and quiet pool where all spirits eventually sink. They sink through there, play around in the river mud, meet a pebble or two -- I have spoken to pebbles who said they met many spirits -- and pass through, like a sigh, to the other side of the earth. The great secret of spirits and passings is that nothing ever leaves. That should not comfort you. I didn't say it to comfort you.

Big Ears, the Cat Horrific, lives on in the popular imagination. Of humans, perhaps more than cats. Not many humans live in the popular imagination of cats. There's more a single human, maybe two. There's a cruel human and a kind one. The kind one is stupid. Cats need to be clever, even when they don't have to deal with a cruel human. You will forgive me for presuming to sound like an expert on cats. I've only done business with one for 50 years; I am as apelike and two-legged as I've ever been.

But none of this is what you were here for. Please, sit. I will have Coppelia bring you a cup of tea and cinnamon. Relax a little, let me chew this leaf a moment more, and I'll tell you everything you need to know about the missing crown.

#doublemustard #he runs a bar called the evaporated elephant

[honorary-knight-of-favonius]

One-liner #17 [Kaeya]

Warnings: M!Reader, Sub!Kaeya, Power play, Kaeya is fucked dumb, face fucked, rimjob, blowjob, kissing, teasing.

Sure I was weird, well I can understand why people thought that included the people of Monstadt however knowing that this snarky, smirky knight wasn’t at all weirded out by me and instead insisted on being my. . .friend -yeah that sounds right, friend- Anyways as he insisted on it Chief Albedo had always made sure I was escorted around by him whenever I was suppose to study an outside element. What I never understood was why did the cocky yet somehow always calm knight want to be around me let alone my friend.

You see, I had a not so good reputation in Monstadt. My family used to be slave keepers, and so not many people including most of the knights of Favonianus liked me, in fact they did their very best to steer clear of me. However the cavalry captain was the only person who stayed beside me.

“So, what cha suppose to be studying?” He asked bending over me so his frame covered mine.

“I’m studying animals.” I said

“Why?” He asked, crouching down behind me.

“Because Mr. Albedo wants to try and see if he could reclipcate the. . .ugh, what was the family name again?” I asked, pondering to myself, “ Oh! The Kätzlein blood.” I said

“Are you sure it’s not because you wanna look at the cute fluffy animals?” Kaeya poked my side in a teasing manner which only resulted in me sighing before moving his hand away.

“Yes Mr. Alberich I like cute fluffy things, mostly dogs, however I’m here to work and learn.” Kaeya moved into my view and tilted his head.

“Mr. Alberich? You do know I like it when you call me Kaeya right?”

“I read in a book that addressing someone by their last name makes them feel respected.” I stated, Kaeya’s expression change from a confused smile to and upset frown, “Now I should most likely change my target to a cat otherwise Mr. Albedo’s experiment will be ruined.” I got up from my crouched position and moved to where the cats were, when we got there Kaeya huffed leaning against a tree.

“You do realize that Albedo makes you leave the lab because he doesn’t like looking at you.”

“I am fully aware that most people do not like looking at me, hence why I stay in the shadows. So no one has to look at me.” Kaeya pushed himself off the wall with his elbows before waltzing over to me. He took my clipboard and held it up out of my reach, “Mr. Alberich please give me that back.”

“Kiss me.” I flushed red.

“W-what?”

“Kiss me and I’ll give it back to you, so hurry and kiss me.” I gave him a quick peck before I tried getting my clipboard. However, he didn't like the kiss I gave him so Kaeya pushed me into a wall, one of his hands on the back of my head and our lips clashed together. Kaeya licked my bottom lip before catching me off guard and slithered his tongue into my mouth exploring it, I felt hot, bothered, the sensation wasn’t something I’ve never experienced before so it was all a tad overwhelming however as quickly as it happened Kaeya pulled away from me licking his lips once fully parted.

“Now that’s a kiss, until you can do that and give me a real kiss you won’t get this back, “ He waved my clipboard, “Now I need to get going kitten, I'm still a knight.” I felt weak, I didn’t understand anything that happened or why my heart was beating out of my chest but I knew it was all because of him and I wanted nothing more than to have this same feeling again.

I went to the Favonius headquarters where I rushed to my room and locked my door before jumping in bed and covering my hot face. When I had calmed down I began studying when I heard a knock on my door, I wondered if it was Noelle trying to drag me to the dinning hall and eat with the others. So I stood up and opened my door to see Kaeya with a smile.

“Hey kitten, mind if I come in?” I shook my head going back to my desk. Kaeya came to me and held me close though I was sitting.

“Want this back?” he asked, putting my clipboard in front of me. I nodded and it left my vision so I turned to see Kaeya on the bed using his fingers to motion me over to him. I did as instructed when I got in front of Kaeya. He pulled me on his lap and ran his hands down my sides only to rest on my hips.

“Kiss me,” He looked at me so I covered his eyes with my hand and gently put my lips on his, once I got comfortable I took my hand away and hugged his shoulders. I vividly remembered how he kissed me and copied his kiss though with Kaeya he fell back onto the bed, which alarmed me. I pulled away and Kaeya whined, “Hey~ why’d you stop you were doing so well~”

“Y-you fell back!”

“Anyone would if you used your weight to make them fall back, it honestly seemed as you were eager to kiss me again.” he groped my ass and I glared down at him, “Oo, someone’s angry.” he was pushing my buttons.

I took his hands in one of mine and put them above his head going ahead and kissing him again, I felt something in me turn feral subduing the cocky captain though he could easily break free. I pulled away and Kaeya was left panting.

“Hehe, seems someone likes to be in control,” Kaeya stated, looking between my legs. I followed his gaze, seeing a rather embarrassing sight. I took my hands off Kaeya, covering my face. Suddenly I felt the plushieness of my bed under me and Kaeya’s hands on my thighs.

“It’s been a while since I was last controlled, you’re lucky I’m spoiling you.” Kaeya smiled, having his finger slip under my pants, I stopped him from continuing whatever was going on in his mind.

“What do you think you're doing?!” I ask

“I’m about to take off your pants to relieve your little problem.” I was baffled, but Kaeya continued and once my cock was free from it’s prison Kaeya faltered. He gulped as he stared, “I-I’d like to correct myself. . .” He said, “I’m about to relieve your rather large problem.”

One of Kaeya’s hands wrapped around my cock while the other was between his legs, “I-I didn’t think you were this big. . . I thought you were way smaller than this,” I used a finger to make Kaeya look at me.

“Backing out already kitten?” His face grew red.

“N-no! I-I. . .would you be disappointed if I did?” He looked to me

“A fair bit, though if you did I wouldn’t mind caring for myself.” Instantly at that Kaeya shot up.

“No! You won’t take care of it yourself, it's mine to care for! S-so Master please let me please you.” I raised an eyebrow.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” I ask

“I want to please you.”

I took Kaeya’s Ponytail in my hand and forced him down on my cock, he whined, though I didn’t feel anything, nothing good at least. I tried to push him down further but something stopped me. So I pulled Kaeya off.

“You cant deepthroat my cock,”

“I-I can! Here, fuck my throat this way!” Kaeya got on the bed laying on his back while I was standing in front of him. Kaeya put my cock back in his mouth and I began moving and I suddenly realized that his body was stopping me because his throat was bulging. I smirked and pulled out but due to the knight's now slutty demeanor he stuck his tongue out.

"No! Come back~ Isn't my throat super warm and makes you feel like you're melting? Come on fuck it!" I looked down seeing how unbelievably desperate the knight was.

"Well you said you wanted to please me, and it seems I'm doing all the work." I teased, Kaeya flushed red and bit his bottom lip before his hands found purchase on my hips. Kaeya whined trying to get my cock back in his mouth. So I lined up my cock with his mouth and I felt myself pushed forward into Kaeya's mouth. He was moving my hips so I wasn't doing any work. I looked at the knight's throat seeing it bulge and I wondered if I placed a hand on it and suddenly Kaeya pushed me away and panted.

"Did I hurt you?" I asked, the knight shook his head.

"I-i felt fuzzy, w-when you put your hand on my throat." Kaeya sat up and held his throat so I creeped behind him, gliding my hand from his waist to his throat squeezing it slightly. Kaeya looked up to me, the red tinting his cheeks and the sloppy expression on his face somehow made this whole thing so much better.

"If feels so good~" He whined, I went down and began kissing him which made his cocky manner disappear, " Y/n please no more teasing,"

"More teasing? You sure,"

"N-no! No more! Just fuck me, use me to feel good!" I removed my hand and began kissing his neck.

"On your back, captain." I whispered, Kaeya's body moved faster than I could process, he was on his back holding his thighs to open himself. I took his hands away from his thighs making his legs rest on my shoulders.

"Kaeya, if I start hurting you, say hot cocoa." Kaeya blushed and nodded, I pushed into Kaeya feeling his tight ass hug my cock. He stopped me from bottoming out.

"W-wait, it's a lot bigger than I thought." I bent down cupping and kissing his face.

"Your almost there kitten, just a little more and you can relax." Kaeya looked at me crazy.

"Y-you mean it's not all in?!" I measured the length out of him and showed him. He blushed profusely, "I h-haven't even taken all of it and I'm already going crazy. I began pulling out making Kaeya freak out.

"I didn't say to stop! Put it back-" I cut him off with my mouth wrapped around his cock. I used my fingers to open him up more and I began feeling him twitch, "wait if you keep going I'll cum~ fuck it feels so good." Kaeya shoved my head down and I looked at him all the while. When he met my gaze he bucked into my mouth like mad.

"Y-your gonna make me cum! Fuck, fuck make me cum gods please!" With a kitty lick to his slit he came in my mouth. I pulled off with a pop and moved further down his body using the cum I had in my mouth to lube Kaeya.

"W-wait I just came! Fuck oh fuck your eating me out!" Kaeya's hands were in his hair as a way if him trying to cope with the feeling of me lubing him. I pulled away when he began twitching. As I pulled away Kaeya's body began to relax which made me feel achieved.

"Now kitten ready for the main event?" I ask

"Y-yes master~" He slurred, I lined myself back up this time going all the way in. I stayed encased in Kaeya as he got used to my size, "m-master I can't take it anymore I need to feel you fucking me~ please!" As the words were said I began fucking him which led his nails to sink into my back. I repositioned Kaeya's legs to show a nice bulge. I pushed on it and Kaeya came with the pressure.

"That feel good, kitten?" I asked, he nodded, "stay with me, I need to cum too" Kaeya whined but nonetheless didn't say the word so continued. As I trusted my cock deeper into him he finally lost his self-control and his moans filled my room and I can only assume the Favonius headquarters.

Soon after he lost control he went limp, which was the ending point for me to just cum and pull out. As I put on my boxers I noticed Kaeya's limp body leaking cum so I grabbed a bucket and rag cleaning him up. I wiped him down before putting my shirt on him before moving him under my covers. I was going to go back to studying when Kaeya's hand caught mine and snuggled into it. I sighed and lifted the blanket sliding under it. Kaeya immediately clung to me snuggling into my chest as I cupped the back of his head.

"Good night kitten." I said kissing his forehead before following after him and falling asleep.

#genshin impact smut #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #sub!genshin #genshin impact #sub!kaeya #Favonian Archive