#i am not ready to die yet

[malaisequotes]

“In other words, I am not ready to die yet because didn’t we say we’d have a picnic the first hot day, I mean, the first really, really hot day? Taqueria. And swim, kin, and mussel and friend, don’t you go, go, no.”

I Am Not Ready to Die Yet by Aracelis Girmay

#I Am Not Ready to Die Yet #Aracelis Girmay #Quote #Kingdoms Animalia #Poetry

[typewriter-worries]

I Am Not Ready To Die Yet,  Aracelis Girmay

[ Text ID: I want to live longer. / I want to love you longer, say it again, / I want to love you longer. ] 

#i am not ready to die yet #aracelis girmay #my upload #poetry #dark academia #light academia #classic academia #romantic academia #cottage academia #literature #call it what it is; love

[bronzebluemind]

It’s been 0 weeks since the World Cup finale, 17 weeks to go until sgp and 34 weeks to go until next season.

#and we are back 🫠👍 #first countdown post is always the worst one #but it will get better just not now or the next weeks #trying to uphold some sense of community with these countdowns #i am not ready for the tag to die #and to not have any comps in the foreseeable future and with that no sj content #I'm fine this is fine #😭😭😭 #oh I forgot this is also the first post that gets the offseason tag this is bad #someone sedate me until next winter #yeah I am feeling totally normal about this sure that's a completely healthy reaction #the range of emotions I went through preparing this post #and in case you're wondering I always plan to prepare these posts for a few weeks or the whole offseason in advance and never do it #so of course I frantically open tumblr at 11:59 am on sundays accompanied by muttering shit shit shit and type the post and tags #plans made but chaos reigns #there are no fixed calendars out yet they are usually discussed and approved in the spring meeting in april #but I based this on the last years so it should be more or less accurate :) #ski jumping #offseason2024 #sgp countdown 24 #actually it's 25 because it counts as part of the new season but that seem awfully confusing so it stays 24 here #sj countdown 24 #same with this one technically it's 24/25 but yeaaahhh the season starts in 24 so it's fine

[aspd-culture]

I think the House pfp makes me like you a lot more, lol. /srs

We love our very problematic but extremely, sometimes painfully, unflinchingly honest and mostly accurate portrayal of (SPOILERSSSSSS) canon ASPD. Tbh, one of the few accurate portrayals I've seen and the only one that doesn't cover it up with "but he's a good person" or "but they learn to love and change their ways and no longer are like that yay they're cured" or pair the representation with a side of demonization. Special interest infodump below:

We know House does bad things, but in light of that, the show forces you to stare in the face the questions: What does it mean to be a bad person? If it's your intentions, do your bad actions not matter? If it's your actions, do your intentions not matter? Does the effort not to hurt people in spite of your pain and trauma and maladaptive worldview not matter, no matter how hard you try, if you fail? How many failures is considered "being human" and how many makes it "being a bad human"? Does a good or bad person even exist with how fluid and nuanced life and human nature is? Can you, as a fellow flawed human, define a good or bad person and if so what gives you the right? The show demands you look at this man with low empathy and learn to feel for him whether you like it or not. And so many prosocials completely misunderstand the show and paint him as the antagonist when the entire point of the show is (imo) to humanize the people you shove into the "bad" box. Also hhhh I hate the people who say "House is autistic that's why he acts like this!" Nope nope nope he is literally diagnosed with ASPD. Do I think he's got autism too? Possibly, but I think he may understand social cues, body language, subtext, etc too well for it to be that. I would personally guess ASPD+ADHD+MDD. One of his major specialties is dissecting the social boundaries not because the doesn't understand them, but to show the blind spots they leave, the disservice they do us. He knows what he does is against the norm, he knows he doesn't speak like the people around him and he knows how to do it right. He just *doesn't* because he finds value in removing that and finds no value in others' opinions on him. He knows he is seen as terrible and does not care to change it, not because (imo) he was not accepted as a person but because he was traumatized against people as a whole. See also, MIA and unknown father, questionable mother, shitty stepfather, and all the things he hints at but does not tell us outright. House is a lot of things, but socially unaware is not one of them, and whilst there are autistic people like that who are prosocial, I think the show addressed this clearly in the early episode of the autistic (they used the n*zi term but I will not) child who gives him the PSP or gameboy or whichever it was. House sees some of himself in that child, but it is clearly addressed that it's not quite right - that House relates but does not seem to click properly with being autistic. However, in the "soci*path" patient episode, House heavily struggles to separate himself from her, and finds himself repeatedly coming up empty on reasons they aren't the same. In fact, when he finds out it is reversible, it seems to me like he is simultaneously glad to have figured out the puzzle - and maybe to save her from his suffering - and distressed and jealous that she gets to get out of this. She will get to meet people who did not know her that way and be like them and feel like them and feel like one of them. Unlike in the autism episode, the characters around him seem to believe he has it as well. If he is autistic, he has ASPD as well - diagnosed in fact.

It's such a damn good show.

You did not ask for my (as restrained as possible) infodump about House, MD but you activated my special interest trap card.

#house md spoilers #dr greg house #house md #gregory house #I will live and die by my love of this show #and I have not finished season 8 yet #and I am not ready no matter how it ends #tho admittedly season 8 does kinda suck only in comparison to the rest of it #aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #actually aspd #aspd #aspd awareness #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #aspd traits #anons welcome

[caffeinatedopossum]

I think I know now what it is about life that makes it worth living and I hate that I can't tell anyone. I can't write it down for me to reread when I forget because it's... just a feeling. And maybe you aren't supposed to be able to put that into words or hold onto it. You just have to trust that you'll feel it again

#im crying and i probably sound insane talking about the meaning of life on tumblr dot com #but i am insane! and im completely serious #im so glad im alive..im so glad i didnt kill myself. im so glad im here right now still feeling things i dont understand #i know im only 20 and i know this life has more to offer but... i get the feeling ill have had enough at just the right time #i hope i get to die old and happt #and before that i hope i get to experience... well. everything #i know i won't. but ill know when ive experienced *my* everything. when im ready to die it wont feel like this #which means im not ready to die yet #what a silly thing to feel liberated by questions most people may never ask themselves

[piningprecussionist]

Template by @juni38

Im going to be completely frank with you all... and admit that I read these options and wasn't sure how to take this chart,,, so uh. Under the cut is Another Version. I'd apologize but I've given you the option to keep scrolling ¯\_(･･)_/¯

(If you notice characters missing on Kim's side, I probably figured she doesn't know who they are lol)

For the record,,, if they *wanted* me to pull their hair-- *is shot several times before I can continue*

Uhh Matthew is here because I have been converted fully on he/him or enby lesbian Matthew I think. He lives in my brain rent free now, very gender. I'd pull his hair but also I think he mostly just deserves to have it played with nicely.

And Scott's here because 1) I enjoy trans Scott, 2) Kim Pine Brain Rot possibly, 3) idk he's like,, the exception. God damnit, I've fallen for the inexplicable Scott Pilgrim Effect. What the fuck--

I did think about doing this chart like everyone was actually applicable to my tastes, but even if they were I think the ones I didn't put up would have to fall on the caress side bc I just don't feel that way abt them lol.

Again, not to say that's the case for the gals over on that side,,, I just think I would want to be gentle w them shxkdjsdhbd with the exception for Lynette who probably deserves to have her hair pulled, but again I fear she would Hurt Me,,, but maybe in a fun way,,,

Anyway No One Look At Me....

(,, also,,, Ramona is so far over bc I think she would enjoy it,, otherwise she'd be closer to Kim in that section. Same thing w Roxie)

If anyone actually looks at this version, I'm not opposed to doing a version like this for Kim btw! Just ask for it so I feel like I'm not just Dropping This and scurrying away

#sp comic #meme #kim pine #id tag more people but i Do Not Have The Strength.... #also i like Living and I think the idea of more people seeing the suggestively taken one makes me want to Die a little #(not to say you cant reblog this or whatever im just being dramatic shdjejsdhdhgdd I am generally a fairly Reserved person) #for the kim chart- i based my other scott placement on the interaction theyve had here! i think if they interacted for real or more often + #+ he'd end up definitively in the Pull Roughly suggestion with most people #ooc #he maybe if i finish edits for everyone i could try this w the au stuff. kit's thoughts might be different here... #hey* #also let me know if i forgot anyone??? i thought abt including the robots but. no hair. and gideon the cat has Fur so. on technicality- #but like barring parents and peter i think i got most people #i guess if lainey was here she'd go somewhere in the middle or right? w/out knowing what she'd be like #FUCK I DIDNT MEAN TO POST THIS. I MEAN IT'S HERE NOW SO IM NOT REMOVING IT BUT I AM S C R E A M I N G I WASNT READY #ah i forgot crash and the boys actually. thats why i wasnt supposed to post this yet #uhhhh Pull Roughly for like all of them. except trasha. trasha gets head pats and a juice box #except for on Kim's chart. on Kim's chart she's in the pull roughly section I can't lie to myself. she hates that kid 😭 also on that note + #+ knives should probably be in the middle section. like she wants to pull it for her having copped her style and being stupid abt scott. #but I didn't put her there bc I feel like even if she wants to she wouldn't ya know? knives is a Precious Angel after all

[fluffypotatey]

I like that fic a lot not only cause it's my ship, but because I've never seen that hanahaki type before. Usually the feelings are mutual, and it could be solved by communication (or the person just dies rip). Never seen hanahaki where it's factually right and not just based on what the victim thinks

yeah those are rare ones. mostly, i think, because people like a happy ending (and i am no different tbh), but those are the original concepts of what Hanahali represented: a love one-sided and fatal not just to your emotional wellbeing but your own life as a whole.

#tbh i myself am struggling with how i'll end my hanahaki hangster fic #bc yeah i love happy endings #angst with a happy ending is a tag i search for all the time when it comes to hanahaki #but writing it? idk maybe i do want it to end in tragedy or maybe i'm not ready to give that ending yet #past!shadowpeach and hanahaki has some kind of grace to it bc even if macky died before lmk he'll still come back #but then the question becomes: #is the love still there? is it still the same as before? or has it rottened like his corpse body? #or has it flourished in defiance of his rotting body? #also swk is 7x immortal so his hanahaki condition is simply chronic. he won't die. he'll have be inconvenienced #but will that be enough for him to spill his guts? #asks #shadowpeach #hanahaki

[psy-ay-ay]

i thought i hated kizaru but the amount of absolute vitriol i have for akainu ohmygod like if you tell me he's going to die in ep 1000 i'll try to bend spacetime to be able watch the next 500 episodes in one day just to see him die

#he hasn't even killed ace yet #but i know it's gonna happen #kuzan aokiji is the only one i respect the other two are pure trash #and i think i should have known this as soon as i saw sengoku select akainu to play out his plan #anyway i have to go and watch ace die :"((((((((((( #but at least hoping shirohige would provide some much needed anger release #in my head i'll be fucking up that navy hq with shirohige #garp tho :')) and those luffy ace garp childhood moments #i am so not ready to go back to watching #one piece #ep 482 #cool one piece live watch tag placeholder #kizaru #akainu yuck #aokiji #kuzan #ace #garp #luffy

[scattered-winter]

THIS SUCKS!!!!

#SORRY I HAD TO GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM #she's not gone yet but. very soon. #if i had to guess i would say sometime during the night or tomorrow. very very soon. #ive already said all my goodbyes and we sang around her bedside one last time and i think im as ready for it as ill ever be #but that being said. how the fuck do u get ready for your mom to die. #but it's not all bad. #my aunt was sitting by me while we sat at my mom's bedside and just shared stories between singing #and she wiped the tears off my face and traced my veins and held my hand while we both cuddled my dog #and idk. im the black sheep of the family but that doesn't mean i'm not part of it. even when shit sucks. #and these last couple months have been rough because first i lost my friend suddenly and now the thing we've been waiting for #for 3 years is finally happening #and idk. in a way i'm glad it's happening because i won't have to watch her suffer anymore. and in a way i won't suffer either. #just kinda ripping the bandaid off yk. #anyway i am contemplative and mostly at peace this fine night. we'll see what the morning brings. #winter speaks #personal #grief tag

[malaisequotes]

“Weren’t you my sister once? I might say to the sad, brown dog who follows me down the street. Or to the small boy or old woman or horse eye or to the tree. I know I knew I know you, too.”

I Am Not Ready to Die Yet by Aracelis Girmay

#I Am Not Ready to Die Yet #Aracelis Girmay #Quote #Poetry #Kingdoms Animalia

[typewriter-worries]

I Am Not Ready To Die Yet, Aracelis Girmay

[ Text ID: and when I go or you go, / let me see you again somewhere, / or you see me. ] 

#i am not ready to die yet #aracelis girmay #my upload #dark academia #light academia #classic academia #grief will keep you reaching back for what is not there

[has-brain-rot]

I finally began watching voltron

OKAY SO at the recommendation of a super cool person (@imperfection-you-will-find (sorry if you don’t want to be tagged) ) I got into watching Voltron: Legendary Defenders and I just finished the first season AND IT IS A REALLY COOL SHOW. I know I’m like 5 years late to the party but the animation! Characters! World building! All very interesting!! Love how smoothly they blend those 3D models into the show, it’s barely noticeable

Here’s a few thoughts (before I go binge the next season)

- first off it is BOLD that the first episode is an hour+ long. like damn they didn’t have to do that but they did and the pacing is surprisingly good for what they had to do, though I lowkey wish there was more adventuring-to-find-the-rest-of-the-lions because that part was pretty interesting, especially when they talked about having to form a bond with the lions first

- Hunk is a cool guy and I really like how he develops and ends up being one of the more serious characters (when, unfortunately, he isn’t the but of the joke. He’s neat but they make fun of his weight a fair bit and that’s not fun). Love how he has a good sus-detector, also he was SLAYING when he saved people during the season 1 finale

- Pidge is REALLY COOL and I personally (so far at least) headcanon them as enby. they also give off transman vibes and honestly that’s what I thought they were going to do with the character until the reveal. It’s cool how they handled it, and I love that the show didn’t go for an all-boy cast because that’d be disappointing.

- Lance is kinda annoying but he’s growing on me. I’m not the biggest fan but I like how he’s developing. Blue colour scheme is cool, but damn he really put everyone and an entire planet in danger just because he crushed briefly on a girl. Shame.

- Shiro is COOL. We don’t know much about him and the portrayal of his trauma is a really good thing to add. I do find it mildly funny (in a dark way? funny might not be the right word) that like. Lance and Hunk are there because vibes, Pidge is there for vibes but also they were on a mission of their own, Keith right now is very mysterious and gives off many vibes, but Shiro’s backstory is that he was tortured for a year, forced to fight, there’s the implication that his body was forcefully modified as he was trained to be a weapon, and also he’s probably killed quite a few people and he’s trying to deal with that and everything while like, they’re vibing

- Keith is COOL. Red lion swag. Love his somewhat morally ambiguous vibes, also I feel like he’s going to be a big projection character. They haven’t really covered his background other than he dropped out, but I bet there’s a lot more going on. I can DEFINITELY see he is liked. ALSO I feel like the whole “you fight like a Galra soldier” is more than just a one off line. I sense it. Plus the whole “you have to earn the trust of the red lion, you can’t just befriend it right away” gives off big flags of “HEY PAY ATTENTION”. I could write so much about this but I wanna go binge the second season xD

- THE CLIFFHANGER OF A FINAL EPISODE. There is so much I could talk about (the character development, the battle scenes, everything is so cool. It’s like seeing all the things I wish we could’ve seen in steven universe and also I think belos would be proud of the general genocide even if it isn’t religion based). I’ll keep it short and just say that DAMN SO MUCH HAPPENS AND IT IS VERY COOL

I’m going in spoiler free and it’s quite fun! Thanks for the recommendation @imperfection-you-will-find, can’t wait to watch more so I can fully appreciate your super cool edits and posts xD

#overweight characters exist for comedy first #and aren't taken seriously #voltron #vld #vld ramble #voltron legendary defender #IT IS INTERESTING AND DAMN THE ANIMATION IS SO COOL #Honestly Voltron could just have a lion head but like. even if it isn't the most logical a giant mech made of lions is such a BANGER concept #I am vibing very much rn #Keith my maybe-to-become-a-blorbo why do you keep getting into situations where you nearly die #like is he okay because I think he is not okay #idk what happens yet because I've never watched it but Loz talked about trauma so I am READY to learn more #This mama is ready for trauma <- ready to watch it at least. give me some of that forbidden backstory #I think the funniest twist would be if Hunk ended up having the most traumatic backstory. Like they'd have to work hard to beat Shiro's #not funny for him 'cause that'd suck but I think that would spin a twist on the whole trope/cultural idea lots of western media has #him being the most serious out of the not-shiro (or keith) group is good though. gives him depth #only reason why I'm talking about hunk so much is because honestly I thought he was going to be left behind or die or get replaced #ANYWAYS BACK TO BINGING #IF ANYONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT VOLTRON PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SEND IN AS MANY ASKS AS YOU WANT #INFODUMP AWAY #also just in general send in asks I will be very happy if you do :]

[conschintz]

i think i will forever be in awe of how much love wordly people have, and how willingly they give it out

#nicki.txt #ex jw #just like... my own family was so quick to cut me out and throw me away #yet my now best friend was ready to die for me on day 1 #and don't even get me started on people i've met on the internet #angels!!!!! #it's kinda sad because like i just want that love from my parents you know? #but i am also really really glad that it exists and i recieve it #even if its from strangers

[united-under-skyfall]

.

#i think one thing i really didn't prepare for w overnights is just how fucking lonely it is. like yeah 80% of the reason i took it was to #get away from customers but like. it worked. and the night shift team is v v small. there's only 4 of us and we've never been scheduled all #at once yet. and usually we're running around on completely opposite ends of the building going long periods of time without #radioing each other. and then i come home all amped up and the rest of my house is still asleep. and then when they wake up #it's just to get ready and go and we don't really have time to talk. and by the time they get back i'm sleeping #and it's my first night off and i can't fuck up my whole schedule i worked so hard to switch over to w them flipping me all over the place #so now i'm just like. sitting in the half light trying not to wake anybody up not doing anything. the only places near us open are #gas stations and i can't exactly loiter there and what would i do even if i could. and it's too cold to go for a walk or to the park #or something. and i feel like i haven't talked to another human being about something that wasn't related to work in years #and it's only been a week. #and we can listen to music or podcasts or something but our carts and machines are so loud you miss half of it. and we can't hold #super long conversations when we ARE in the same room for the same reasons. plus we all want to die so none of us feel like talking. #and just. im tired and lonely and want to sleep and im already regretting this but i'd feel bad for backing out now when they have so #few options and i volunteered for it in the first place #and then there's also like. even just doing my usual solitary thing at home feels so much more isolated bc there's not the noises #of other people existing nearby. the nearest signs of life are some coughing and then a car on the other side of the block #just. what am i even doing here. #tag ramble

[sandrockbandit]

Hi there! I see you are a fellow Logan fan and that’s awesome! With his hair in a ponytail I wonder how long Logan’s hair is. Gotta be beautiful if you ask me! ❤️

hey! while i can’t say for sure, i can hazard a guess bc my hairstyle is really similar to logan’s! since it’s long enough for a small ponytail but short enough for those locks at the crown of his head to do their thing, i’d wager that loose, it comes abouuuut up to his jaw?

that, and with how tightly his hairtie has to be secured, i’d also say that he has to deal with some pretty annoying dents whenever he lets his hair down, lol.

#it is jawlength and it does some shallow waves the longer it gets! this is the hill i have chosen to die on at a whim on this evening #currently ive procrastinated chopping my hair off again so while i could get a pretty close mirror of logan's ponytail and bangs #it would be a little long. im rockin shoulderlength until i find two hair ties at the same time and a spare moment #look at me playing the authority when i have not even played the update. i am wallowing in sci fi wanderlust rn #but i've also been thinking about this ask since i got it so ty for the patience anon! have a logan #my time at sandrock #mtas #mtas logan #hangs sign on blog that says still here but also back in five! or whenever i stop cryin abt space travel and thematic narrative #like im ready 2 talk abt the guy (logan he's the guy) whenever but i can't tell u jack abt the new stuff yet #once the fixation swings back around im sure #for now im thinkin ftl n supernovas

[alchemiclee]

I didn't like blade at first for some reason. too edgy and emo and seemed generic like a sasuke (I never liked sasuke lmao) when I learned about yingxing, I really liked him but still didn't like blade. now I like both for some reason even if yinxing is a dumbass who did this to himself. but blade grew on me somwhow, and someone really needs to gently hold him or something. that poor man. he's so broken. give him a break 😭

#why do i often end up like the sad tragic characters #sometimes even ones that do evil shit because i feel bad for them or something lmao #words #hsr #if they really wanna make us sad they can end game give him a purpose and reason to live but then make him die permanently 😈 #because its what he askd for all this time ans its granted to him and he realizes in the end he made a mistake and isnt ready yet #(i doubt theyll do that but it would amuse me to see people's reactions fbfdhjsj) #i doubt blade will have a happy ending and it would be weird if they dont end him at the end #also dan heng needs a hug. hes also a mess and wont leave his room right now fhdjjdjjsjs #i hope he can open up to his friends more at some point and they become closer and rely on each other more????? #he has hope of moving on with them. but what if he also ends up tragically ending fhfdhjddj blade still wont let him go #tbh ive kinda lost faith in the writers writing a good story. they rush things and everything is disconnected and many holes #so idk if it'll end up being a good story at this point 😅 maybe my expectations are too high for this type of game idk #but they did show good potential and kinda threw it away imo fhbfdjjdjdkd #what am i rambling about