#nicki.txt

[conschintz]

hi! can anyone give me, like, the vibe of candela obscura? i've tried critical role before and just ended up overwhelmed, but i really enjoy aabria so i'm curious about this new show! :>

#nicki.txt #critical role #candela obscura

[jenomark]

the fact that i PRETEND like I don't have a big, fat crush on Jaehyun, is sad.

#nicki.txt #the content from today?? #i have hearts in my eyes

[daughter-of-sapph0]

I'm cis whenever it's most convenient for me.

#best of nicki #nicki.txt

[conschintz]

i hate any variation of the "i'm not gullible enough to be lured into a cult but i am nosy enough" memes. cults are predatory. most people who join aren't gullible or nosy; they're vunerable. members of cults are literally taught how to target and manipulate people. and some people are born into them—they have no choice, it's all they know! memes like that just further sensationalise cults and it's disgusting

#nicki.txt #ex jw #ex cult #cults

[conschintz]

still making my way through fearful symmetry. still an ex-cult girlie.

"i do not know why i was so easy to discard." / "our family did not love us."

mhm........ brennan when i catch you brennan brennan when i catch you brennan brennan when i catch you brennan brennan when i—

#nicki.txt #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high sophomore year #i have the same thought like every day #siobhan's answer... uh huh #i shouldn't have watched this so soon after my argument with my mama last night but #i'm here #🫠

[conschintz]

as a cult survivor, i have immense respect for how @quiddie handled the lukura in burrow's end. specifically in episode 1, the moment that it was revealed that thorn was a cult leader, i was ready to bail, but i decided to stick through the first episode at least just to see if it was something i could handle. and... man. i was genuinely sobbing with relief by the end of the episode.

the problem with so much cult-driven media, i find, is that it dehumanises the members/victims of the cult. they're just there to be vaguely creepy, or to sacrifice themselves for their leader(s), or to die outright to cult doctrine, usually for shock value. they're not actually people.

so you can imagine my fear when the stoats were escaping the poison, that we were going to get some scene where a member has to sacrifice themselves for thorn/viola, or it would be revealed that they all died waiting for orders etc. but we didn't... instead, in their last moments, aabria gave them what cult victims in media very rarely get — agency. viola's anger being met with teedles' "but they have families too," yes... yes!!! thank you! and then "if they ran, it was because they hoped to save them, and i can't begrudge them for that" i just... i don't think i can actually put into words how much that exchange meant to me. it was such a departure from what we're used to. even though most of them still died(?), it was not in service to thorn, or because of their lukura's beliefs. they were mothers and fathers and daughters and sons; they were no different to any of the pcs. they were trying to save themselves. aabria... the woman that you are. thank you.

#nicki.txt #dimension 20 #burrow's end #aabria iyengar #the question mark is only because we didn't get resolution about the lukura turning up to last bast #so idk what was going on with them at that point #(unless i somehow missed it?) #but even if they were dead like it wasn't BECAUSE they were cult members. everyone in the burrow died too it was indiscriminate #man... #even thinking about olliver and teedles across the season makes me feral #i have So Much to say #just meant a lot to me. idk. i had to put these thoughts somewhere

[conschintz]

a year ago i was still one of jehovah's witnesses. now i'm watching a ttrpg actual play where a guy just got shot in the dick and balls and died. uh... character growth???

#nicki.txt #dimension 20 #mentopolis #daniel fucks #dan fucks #freddie wong #this is actually mind boggling #what has led me here #questioning all of my life choices right now

[conschintz]

kristen is really me-ing this season. ally beardsley please get out of my walls I'M SCARED

#nicki.txt #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #it is really the most surreal feeling to watch a character being so You #like #obviously i've always related to kristen. i found fantasy high like a week after leaving the jehovah's witnesses #so make of that what you will #but man. this season is CRAZY #i love it and hate it #anyway i finally finished e4 and i'm feeling really normal about kristen and bucky #sooooo normal don't even worry about it

[conschintz]

You obviously don't have to respond, feel free to delete my question entirely if you're not up to it, but I would love if you could talk about some ways the D20 fandom is being disrespectful about cults and how it could be better?

hi! thank you for asking this so respectfully. i want to be clear that this is not the whole of the d20 fandom, but only a very small minority of people!

for anyone new to my blog, wondering why i care about this, i grew up as a 4th generation jehovah's witness and escaped last year. i lost 20 years of my life and my entire family to the watchtower bible and tract society. educating people about cults and high-control groups is something that i'm very passionate about

the most common thing i've seen, across tumblr, reddit, and discord, is people making insensitive jokes/statements. anything that trivialises the cult, and/or thorn and viola's role in it. calling them your favourite cult couple is not cool. saying that you'd join the cult because of xyz reason (especially anything regarding "thorn/viola/jasper/rashawn is hot!") is not cool. making jokes at olliver and teedles' expense is not cool. this might seem nitpicky and harmless to most people, and in no way do i think that anyone is doing this maliciously—i want to make that really, really clear—but this kind of stuff is harmful to cult survivors. in general, it minimalises the impact of cults, of their leaders, of their victims etc. i think this is a flaw with the portrayal of cults in media at large, where they are generally sensationalised. the lukura doesn't seem like much of a cult when put up against others, especially if you're comparing it to real-life ones. but that's what's so scary; aabria and jasper are so subtle. they're really, really good at what they're doing

i'm rambling. but all of this is to ask to just be mindful of what you're posting/saying. it might not seem harmful to you, but it is exhausting to scroll through posts making light of something that is affecting my day-to-day. i am not getting shunned by my entire family for someone to joke around about joining a "cool" stoat cult, with little regard to the actual real-life consequences of actual cults that are far more prevalent in modern-day society than most people think

#nicki.txt #dimension 20 #burrow's end #thorn vale #jasper william cartwright #viola burrow's end #rashawn scott #olliver and teedles burrow's end #aabria iyengar #again: i DO NOT think people are doing this maliciously #it's just an honest oversight

[conschintz]

saying hi to disfellowshipped people in the kingdom hall???? letting women wear trousers???? who are these people and what have they done with the governing body

#ex jw #nicki.txt #i am SO GLAD all of these changes are happening #but like #this is big big #what is going on?? #100% the df new light is to do with norway

[conschintz]

seeing parts of my family reflected in the burrow's end stoats is both comforting and the most horrifying thing ever

#nicki.txt #dimension 20 #burrow's end #i tried watching today #but i had to stop like 20 minutes in #because there were so many times growing up where my sister was tula and i was viola and... ouch

[conschintz]

just a reminder that just because thorn and/or viola are your favourites in burrow's end, that doesn't give you the right to make insensitive cult jokes about them that real-life cult survivors in the fandom might see. thanks!

#nicki.txt #dimension 20 #burrow's end #thorn vale #viola burrow's end #olliver and teedles #jasper william cartwright #rashawn scott #aabria iyengar #so far in game it has been dealt with really respectfully #it's not sensationalised or romanticised #and i could write an essay on how aabria has handled olliver and teedles #unfortunately the same can't be said for the fandom #and it's really disheartening as a survivor

[conschintz]

brennan rolling a 59 and trapp rolling a nat 1... this is messed up 😭 i'm so stressed

#nicki.txt #dimension 20 #mentopolis #mentopolis spoilers

[conschintz]

i'm obsessed with "wordly" friendships. they're so different from anything i experienced as one of jehovah's witnesses... we're just friends because we exist, and because we like each other, and there's nothing more to it. no worrying about how the other person makes you look to jehovah. no worrying about if you're going to accidentally lead the other person astray. no worrying that they're going behind your back to the elders. there's no one-upmanship, no constant comparisons, no conditions. it's just love!!!!!!!!!!!!

#nicki.txt #I LOVE MY WORDLY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i'm so happy and content with everyone i'm around #it's soo nice! #the elders were lying when they said wordly people are evil #i've found more love out here in the world than i ever had as a jw #that's a fact #ex jw

[conschintz]

i really feel like we weren't warned adequately about what this season would entail 😭 this is way more of a horror season than neverafter

#nicki.txt #dimension 20 #burrow's end #like between the cult stuff and this horrifying bear i'm not having a good time

[conschintz]

to any other pimos, how do you stop yourself from falling back into your old beliefs? i'm really struggling right now to keep my head afloat amongst all of the propaganda

#nicki.txt #ex jw #ex jehovah's witness #ex cult #i'm soo scared