#i actually ended up combining the post i was already writing up with my answer to this

[dueling-jesters]

i actually think its really cute how Black Spy seems kinda open with his sexuality meanwhile White Boy,the "put-together" one, has this incredible closeted vibe. something magical is about to happen

I've always seen it as both initially being closeted, both trying to appear as straight as possible.

I think Black Spy puts a lot of effort into appearing to be attracted to women, especially if he thinks someone is making a move on him. It's so unnatural for him that he comes off as too exaggerated, as if he's trying so hard it becomes obvious he's playing an act. Whenever he attempts a romantic interaction with a woman, it *always* goes wrong for him. Even after a failed attempt at a relationship with a woman, he builds a robot to appear to have a girlfriend of some sort, and it still doesn't work out. Perhaps, eventually, he becomes more comfortable in expressing his true self... At least, as much as he can in an unaccepting environment. Perhaps in subtle ways, such as flagging in bars, i.e., the pool table title illustration.

White Spy, on the other hand, might be bisexual, and therefore, it's not as difficult for him to pretend to be attracted to women. There's actually a sense of genuineness in his edeavors. However, he might not have his heart set on any particular woman but rather for his enemy. Take, for instance, when he agrees on one of the causes for his dreams of Black Spy being his own repressed sexuality. (This could have also been a case of projection, as Black Spy was the first to even mention it whilst in disguise.) The tension he feels may build up over time, eventually coming to his undoing. He's so put-together on the surface, but once confronted with his attraction, he might become a total mess. Perhaps the opposite may be true for Black Spy.

It may start out as a Distaster Gay vs Distinguished Bisexual situation, slowly growing into a Distinguished Gay vs Disaster Bisexual one. Only relatively speaking. They're both absolute messes of men.

The two may be stuck between wanting to be themselves and express their true feelings towards each other and not wanting to be outed to their embassies and society at large.

It becomes more difficult with the added layer of them not only falling for a man in a homophobic society but for a man working for the enemy. Even if their environment becomes more accepting over time, they'd still be at risk of being charged for treason over their relationship.

#spy vs spy #black spy #white spy #spy x spy #headcanons #ace's ramblings #some of this is interpretation of the comics and other parts are mere speculation #but in my heart it is all true #ace's answers #thank you so much for sending this in!! #i actually ended up combining the post i was already writing up with my answer to this

[harmonysanreads]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ One Year Commemoration Post↬Sumeru Love Hexagon

-; ੈ♡˳ BEHIND THE HEXAGON

☆ The primary inspirations behind this AU are Alhaitham's Demo and this Fan Musical that debuted on Spring HoyoFair 2023!

Alhaitham's Demo no doubt gave many writers and daydreamers heavy brainrot and I happen to be one of them lol. But it was not until the fan musical that I had a concrete enough idea. I was charmed by the amount of tavern shenanigans this concept had the potential to bring, which is something that I really wanted to write at the moment :>

☆ Originally, Scaramouche or, Wanderer wasn't even supposed to be part of the AU!

Mainly because I didn't see many inclusion of him in the Sumeru Crew (at that time) and was unsure how it'd be taken D: But then, I remembered the v3.6 trailer where he was duking it out with the others and I was like 'why not?'. From that point on, he's come a long way and has even become the Best Boy of the Hexagon! :D

☆ Scaramouche's 'innocent in front of reader and the opposite behind their back' act is a tribute to his very first in-game appearance in the v1.1 Unreconciled Stars event!

This is something I'm humbly proud of, so to say. I still occasionally go back and admire the writing from that event. I think it's absolutely criminal for such a lore-rich and well-done in terms of character introduction event to be limited but oh well. Scaramouche, in my opinion, can be an excellent actor when he needs to be and if you watch the story from this event, you'll understand. Combining this with his mental state from after the Interlude Quest creates quite a messy situation though and, I kept it that way intentionally :>

☆ In the initial draft, Alhaitham was written as a very jealous character!

The cause of it being reader's infinite care for Kaveh. But obviously, I scraped it and wrote a much more toned down version and I sometimes wonder if I should've gone with my initial thoughts. Admittedly, I was playing it safe due to some reality checks regarding his character so I don't regret it a whole lot. But if it was up to the present me, I would be down to writing jealous Alhaitham immediately lol

-; ੈ♡˳ QUESTIONNAIRE

Does the Reader have White Knight Syndrome?

Well, I didn't originally write them with this particular condition in mind, however, upon further reflection I can see that they definitely show some symptoms of it. And considering the situation they're in, it's very easy for them to fall into the condition itself. I'm not at all qualified to diagnose someone with a mental condition so, my answer will have to a soft no. However, if anyone wants to imagine them as such, they're of course free to do so.

Is there any character you'd want to write differently if given the chance?

I already mentioned Alhaitham to a degree but, I really really wish I had been more considerate of Cyno. We're entering debatable territory here but the Hoyo writers putting so much emphasis on Cyno's TCG addiction and jokes while handling his actual lore whimsically made me lose interest in his character at that time. Though, I hope his upcoming Story Quest will fix this and do his character justice <3

Who is your favorite among the boys?

If you've lingered around my blog for a while, I know you thought I was going to say Alhaitham but, within the confines of the AU, it's actually Kaveh! He's like the initial spark that kindled the actual fire, as such, he's the first one you read about. I felt immense empathy for him after I learned about his lore through leaks, which is reflected onto the reader as well. Had this been a different timeline, Kaveh and Reader's relationship would be pure wholesomeness.

Who among the five is the endgame?

Ohohohoho.. place your bets because it can be literally anyone :) Even someone outside the hexagon in the off-chance they end up slaughtering each other lol. Kind of out of topic but, I think the Wanderer route would be genuinely heartbreaking unless he does something about Reader's mortality. He'd have to watch the one person who truly loved him decay slowly, while he remains afloat his raft of artificiality, safe from the clutches of death temporarily. Thinking about the endings make me feel quite sad honestly, it's a reminder that even the lighthearted shenanigans of the Hexagon will end at some point.

-; ੈ♡˳ ENDING NOTES

I could've easily done a writing event to celebrate the anniversary but I just really, really wanted to talk about these little tidbits. Many many kudos to you if you've made it this far, I hope I didn't bore you :')

Memories are fragile things, so I'd like to think of this as a memorial of sorts that I can look back to after a few years and not think of myself as a total failure lol. I wrote this AU at a rather difficult period of my life, which is why this is more lighthearted despite falling into the Yandere genre.

I don't really know how to express my gratitude without sounding overly sappy, but I'll forever remember every interaction, comment, ask etc regarding the Hexagon fondly. I even remember someone saying they're binge reading this late at night instead of studying for an exam or something which is.. wow, I hope you're doing well nowadays my fellow night owl! I appreciate every each one of you for even taking some of your time to read my silly ramblings <3

This is not at all the end of the Hexagon AU, just to clarify! I'll still answer any asks regarding the five losers (affectionate) because, despite the limitations placed by reality, in fiction, we have the power to imagine and write infinite tavern shenanigans.

Just before I posted the original concept, I thought to myself, 'If even one person smiles because of this, I'll consider it a success.' and now, looking back to the amount of people that enjoyed the Sumeru Love Hexagon (very silly name but I digress) I just feel so, so happy.

Thank you, everyone, sincerely <3

#sumeru love hexagon #well turns out i cannot do this without getting emotional after all :I #hsr is a big distraction these days so i really hope cyno's sq gives me good brainrot so i can return to my roots>:( #i almost didn't want to post this but screw anxiety #happy anniversary hexagon #genshin impact x reader #yandere genshin impact x reader #yandere concepts #yandere x reader #yandere genshin x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere #yandere kaveh x reader #yandere alhaitham x reader #yandere cyno x reader #yandere tighnari x reader #yandere wanderer x reader

[writingquestionsanswered]

How Much World Building is Too Much?

Anonymous asked: This question is on behalf of my cousin who came to me for advice. When he has an idea, he writes the most detailed worldbuilding EVER, designs the characters and has a general idea of how the story will go, but then when he starts writing he does maybe 2 chapters and it dies. I, on the other hand, do ZERO worldbuilding ahead of time (I don't need much) and end up finishing 80% of what I start out to write. How do you know how much worldbuilding is enough? How do you keep from spending so much time planning that by the time you get to writing, you don't know where you're going with the actual story? I want to help him but our styles are so different, I don't know where to start.💔

(Ask edited for length...)

I identify with your cousin a lot, because this is often how my stories go. I'm first inspired by a place, or the idea of a place, and everything sort of grows out from there. In my early days, I would also pour everything into world building and character creation, only to find myself falling flat with the story. And a big part of that, I learned, was that I didn't really understand how stories worked. It was easy to build a world and set up characters, but since I didn't understand story structure, I didn't understand how to flesh out the nugget of a story idea I had to go with that setting.

So, one thing you might do is try to get a feel for where your cousin is in that respect. You can start by asking pointed questions about the potential plot, and if he doesn't have answers already, it will help guide him in that direction. Some questions I would ask:

1 - Who is your protagonist? What is their "normal world" life like before things are turned upside down with the inciting incident?

2 - Who and what is important to your protagonist? (Stakes)

3 - What past experiences have led to them being who they are now?

4 - What needs to change about your protagonist's life, beliefs, or values?

5 - What happens to turn your protagonist's world upside down? (Inciting incident) Who (or what) causes this to happen? (Antagonistic force)

6 - How does this affect your protagonist specifically, and what goal do they decide to pursue in order to resolve the problem?

7 - What steps does your protagonist plan to take in order to reach their goal? What knowledge, skills, resources, or help must they acquire in order to achieve their goal?

8 - What obstacles does the antagonistic force create that the protagonist must overcome on their way to the goal?

9 - How do the events of the story help to change your protagonist's life circumstances, beliefs, or values for better or worse? How will they change by the end of the story?

10 - How does your protagonist face off against the antagonistic force, attempting to defeat them once and for all in order to reach their goal? Are they successful? What is the aftermath and how is the character's world/life changed--for better or worse--as a result of these events?

If your cousin can answer these questions, they'll have a reasonably well fleshed out plot that should help carry them through the story. How little or much planning of the plot ahead of time they need is something they'll need to discover over time, but if the above isn't enough to help them get through the story, they might want to go back and flesh out the specific plot points. You can point them in the direction of my post Creating a Detailed Story Outline, which suggest several different story structure templates they can look at to help them coax out the specific plot points of their story. And, bear in mind that story structure templates do not have to be followed exactly. They're just a guide to help you flesh out the story. Many writers like to combine different elements of different plot structures as a loose guide as they write their stories.

I hope this helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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#writing tips #writing help #writing advice #wqaadvice

[serial-serializednovelreader]

Nova’s Notes - DD - May 9 & 11

I’m combining both of these entries into one since I have similar thoughts about both!

First off, yay we get our first time meeting Mina and Lucy!!!!!!!! And may I just say it’s great to see these girls being besties and chatting? You can tell just by the way they write that they have known each other a long time. Bram actually did a good job writing these women talking to each other. It feels natural and organic. Finally a “men writing women” moment where I don’t want to gag. I will still never get over the adaptations pitting these two lovely ladies against each other!! Why do we still feel the need to make them “compete.” Ugh :(

Mina’s Letter - I love how she starts right away with “forgive me for not writing you.” She already KNOWS Lucy is going to get on her for that, lol. Also her gushing about Jonathan is adorable and I love how she talks about writing to him in code. Those two nerds, they’re going to end me with their cuteness. Also, studying lady journalists to help with your journalism? What a queen doing that research. As she should! Again, it’s the bare minimum, but Stoker really did a good job with this one I must say. Seeing her be hopeful about Jonathan’s trip to Transylvania and the subsequent promise of seeing places like that together is a bit sobering. :( that is, until we reach her PS!

“You have not told me anything for a long time.” This line makes me want to laugh for some reason and I’m not quite sure why? Maybe it’s because I can hear a slightly scolding tone when she says it, or maybe because I can totally see me telling one of my friends this, especially to goad them into telling me the tea. Either way, it’s great.

“I hear rumours, and especially of a tall, handsome, curly-haired man???”

I’m convinced Stoker read my texts or something because LOL that’s literally how I type! The idea of her writing “???” is adorable and I love it so much. Also by “rumors” does she mean Lucy’s mom? I’m pretty sure she means Lucy’s mom. I think it’s funny the first really descriptive thing we really hear of Arthur is his curly hair!

We can get a good glimpse of Mina’s personality just by this letter. We can already tell she’s genuinely excited to be married to Jonathan and help with his work. She is also very methodical, as she is thinking of several different ways she can practice her stenography and shorthand to help assist him. Like Jonathan, she does her research by reading up on how women in similar fields conduct their craft. She is obviously hopeful and in love with him, as she dreams of seeing new places with him after they are married.

However, she does not neglect Lucy in her missive! While her letter is mostly about Jonathan (which I assume is likely due to to Lucy asking after him and most engaged people do tend to talk about their fiancé — just look at Jonathan), she does take time at the beginning and ending of the letter to a) assure Lucy she misses her and b) tell her the latest news ASAP!! This shows that she deeply cares about her friend, even with her impending nuptials.

Lucy’s Letter - “I must say you tax me very unfairly with being a bad correspondent. I wrote to you twice since we parted, and your last letter was only your second.”

Yep, sure enough, Lucy gets on Mina for not writing to both of her letters (I do wonder if Mina answered everything that was in both letters…). Of course, it’s in a good-natured way and it gives me the same vibes as Rarity from MLP:FIM fainting into a couch or something and I am HERE FOR IT (for those who don’t watch the show, I genuinely mean this as a compliment. I love Rarity -- also I could probably make a whole post about Dracula characters as MLP characters, hmm…).

“Besides, I have nothing to tell you. There is really nothing to interest you.”

*Proceeds to list the hottest gossip* I love this girl so much. She has my whole heart.

“Some one has evidently been telling tales.”

Yep, definitely Lucy’s mom! I would love to see the letters between Mina and Lucy’s mom tbh.

Also when talking about Arthur, it’s so adorable because you can tell at first she only tries to sprinkle in a little bit about him, like “oh he’s just someone I met” and then it quickly morphs into “we met this guy who would be great for you” (Seward mention!!!! Can’t wait to meet everyone’s favorite pathetic wet cat /pos) to “I’m already picking up his slang and using his first name and did I mention IM IN LOVE WITH HIM????”

You can already learn so much about Lucy from this first letter. She’s sweet and caring to the people around her, lively about everything and a bit unsure about love (since she doesn’t quite know if Arthur loves her back). I looked up her age (idk if that counts as spoilers but I’ll tag this as such just in case) and she’s 19!!! This is exactly the kind of letter I would expect a 19-year-old to write to her best friend. I just love how excited she sounds, as she should!!! She’s a young girl in love, perhaps for the first time, and wants her best friend to know. I do love how she tells Mina “write back to me IMMEDIATELY with your thoughts.” Same, Lucy, same.

Back to Seward. It’s so funny to me that he wants to make a psychological study of her while staring straight into her soul and she seems to be chill with it!! Like she still loves Arthur, but she’s also not put off by Jack, either. He’s just got that neurodivergent urge to study her under a microscope and honestly, who can blame him? I can also see why Lucy would ship Seward and Mina together; obviously, I’m a diehard Jonmina shipper (and I’m pretty sure Lucy is too, she just likes chaos), but I feel like Mina and Seward would totally bond over train schedules and other nerd stuff.

So, to sum it up, I love both of these girls and their friendship so much and I can’t wait to see more of them!!! Eeeee

#dracula daily #dracula #mina murray #lucy westenra #novas notes #may 9th #may 11th #dracula spoilers #dracula daily spoilers #again #tagging as spoilers just in case

[monbons]

an ask game for writers to procrastinate working on your WIP(s)

thanks for tagging me @bookish-bogwitch, @thewholelemon, @cutestkilla, and @noblecorgi!

1. 🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s): Currently, living, breathing, and eating my one and only WIP: The Eternal Life of Baz Pitch. Also, I am probably retiring after this fic because I do not think I can top it!

2. 🍄Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of “___ + ___ =___” Addie LaRue + SnowBaz = so much pain and angst

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it? Period-typical homophobia, Implied/referenced DV, Blood and Injury, Death... I mean truly the works. This is SnowBaz in the darkest possible timeline.

4. 🧭An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)? At one point, I joked with @thewholelemon about naming it "Baz Pitch's 300 Year Long Grope-Fest" but for obvious reasons that title would really do a disservice to this fic (although it is sort of true).

5. ⚠️Which WIP you're most likely to finish or update next? Now that I've created a posting schedule for The Eternal Life of Baz Pitch, I want to stick to it. While I'm "done" drafting, I am still making a few big revisions to the last six chapters. I've also been re-reading the first chapters for continuity issues that may have cropped up now that I know how this ends. Either way, I can see the finish line.

6. 💾What is your document of your WIP/ a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as) It started out as "Addie LaRue Working Draft." Once the one doc got unwieldy and long, it spun out into multiple docs titled all sorts of things - mostly chapter numbers, but I do have one not as fun as it sounds doc called "Sex Playground." (ha!)

7. 🖍Post Any sentence(s) from your WIP. “Are you so naive as to think I cannot watch you whenever it pleases me, even if you cannot see me?”

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP. I actually have SEVERAL scenes I scrapped...like pages and pages! Largely this is because I have a whole document titled "Voice," which served as a sandbox of sorts where I could play with every possible combination of POV, tone, and style before committing to the final version you see in the story now. There's even a scene in there told first-person Niall! (Bonkers.)

I also have a whole ACTUAL scene I'd love to include as an answer to this question because it was well-written, but I cut it because it made the plot unnecessarily complicated, was frankly too close to the original plot of Addie, and would have made my ending impossible. It is also--sadly--too big a spoiler to include here, so let me give you a few sentences from "Sex Playground" that will not be making the cut:

“Stay.” Baz pushes his hand into the center of Simon’s chest, pressing him back into the mattress. “I want to look at you.” Simon gives Baz a filthy smile. He can look all he wants. 

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet? I really want to write a canon divergence where Simon successfully but somewhat accidentally reveals Baz is a vampire fifth year, so Baz and the whole Pitch family have to flee from the Mage. I already have the "everybody finds out" scene written and the scene where the Mage realizes the Pitch family is gone, so I guess I have started it. But, I also have no idea where it's going or what it's about, so I haven't really accomplished anything. If anyone has ideas or wants to be a partner-in-crime on this, give me a little shout!

10. 🤡How many WIPS are you actively working on? Literally just this one. Again, I am retiring after this fic! (Or at least taking a very well-deserved break.)

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now? Absolutely 100% it is writing the smut. Having never written any on-page sex means I'm figuring it out as I go. Lots of frustrated growls from me (not nearly as frustrated from Simon).

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second Kudos to send. I know many of you have already posted, but tagging anyway since you've commented/liked past WIPsdays and such, in case you're interested in the behind the scenes!

@valeffelees, @roomwithanopenfire, @noblecorgi, @cutestkilla, @iamamythologicalcreature, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @youarenevertooold, @drowninginships, @emeryhall, @hushed-chorus, @rimeswithpurple, @aristocratic-otter, @larkral, @artsyunderstudy, @brilla-brilla-estrellita

#tag game #writers asks #the eternal life of baz pitch #carry on #i really wish i could share all the things but part of the joy of this story is the slow reveal #feel free to ask me again once it's all done!

[fiveredlights]

Okay I need to know things from literally ALL of the wip’s 😂

But I guess the ones that intrigue me the most are the post AUS2024 fic, the alternate Vegas 2023 story and the lmao daniel retirement fic!!

But like I said, I want to know all things lol! You are like one of my favourite authors ❤️

P.S. please feel no pressure to update, write or anything. Take your time

beth you ask and i will dutifully answer, gonna put everything under the cut because this is a long post 🫡

snippets: ausgp 2024/you're on another path

so fun fact about this one i wrote it post quali, and i had planned to post it after the race was done so i a "pre-wrote" two endings. i wasn't going to because i was gonna be like "oh max will win but something bad might happen to daniel" so i had this ready to go:

and i was sitting in the grandstand watching max's car explode in the pitlane and all i could think about was "did i do this. again" and honestly who knows.

Daniel’s already lying down face first on the bed when Max makes it back to their hotel room. He’s been doing it a lot recently after races, opening the door to their hotel room and just starfishing on the bed, unmoving until Max gently coaxes him to actually sleep. 

God, if his twenty-something year old self could see him now. 

Yeah, you’re back at the team you started with—no not HRT, that’s gone now, yes the Red Bull—not junior—sister team. The Red Bull seat? Yeah, not yours anymore, and it’s looking like it’s gonna stay that way. No, no podium at your home race, more like qualifying P18 because you were an idiot and drove over track limits. Points? Well, you had a good chance but I guess luck just wasn’t on your side yet again. 

Oh, and that young and upcoming driver from the Netherlands? Yeah, he’s your boyfriend now—surprise, you’re gay! And he’s a three time world champion, but that’s probably not important. 

Any one of those things would’ve sent Daniel into hospital, but all of those things combined? 

Early death. 

snippets: las vegas 2025/bonus fic reimagined

(i'm going to assume you mean las vegas 2025 and i'll give you both)

Max isn’t winning right now. 

He couldn’t really tell you why. 

Plenty of pundits, fans, strangers on the street have stopped him and asked him to dissect why he hasn’t won a championship in the past two years. He gives them a hastily PR trained and approved answer that seems to be more conscious in his mind now than before and cracks a well timed joke he’s sure his teammate would be proud of. 

Then Daniel comes along and will say, “Max already has three, he’s got to leave some for the rest of us!”, and the conversation will usually move on quickly after that. 

He knows that Daniel isn’t the sole reason for his non-winning ways right now, but when the eventual news of their relationship happens to drop, there’ll be dissections for days on if Daniel plays a part in Max’s performance right now. 

The last time Max hadn’t won a championship was when Daniel Ricciardo was with Red Bull, surely there’s some connection there?

snippets: las vegas 2025/don't read the last page

(Max is italics, Daniel is not.)

Max 🩵

July 31, 2025

...

I may have accidentally 

I swear it was an accident 

Like I pinky promise swear to our first born child

Don’t bring Matilda into this

Did you murder someone

What

Why is that your first thing

You are making a big deal out of it

Like bigger than the podcast you did in January

So I have to assume you murdered someone

Okay well it’s not murder but nice to know you think I’m capable of it

Daniel

I forgot to take off my wedding ring and wore it in the paddock and people saw and I got asked about in the press conference 

They definitely thought I was just engaged so I guess that’s just a silver lining

And you have a bet with Lando over when I was going to accidentally do this

Which is rude because I would never do the same to you Maxy

You literally have a bet with Fernando over if I’m going to slip up and say husband in an interview

How do you know that

And he’s Fernando you know you can’t say no to him

Daniel

When you came out you literally posted a photo of me on your Instagram

The whole paddock knows we are married

Half of them went to our wedding

About 85% of fans think we are in a relationship because you keep on teasing them with photos that is definitely me

Is it so bad that we just say yeah we’re married

We are literally about to have a kid

Okay well when you put it like that

I guess you’re right 

I know

I’m always right

snippets: lmao daniel retirement

They asked him if he wanted a big farewell thing, like they had done with Sebastian and Kimi a couple years back. 

He’d almost said no until Lando pulled a face and said “Mate, people’s last memory of you driving can’t be you heading to the pitlane again.” 

So he agreed. Told Blake to tell them to keep it minimal. No standing on giant mockups of his face during the national anthem or whatever. 

#wip game #maxiel #five writes #queued #daniel retirement au #don't read the last page #you're on another path

[bookscandlesnbts]

Quick facts about me that no one asked for:

Figured since I’ve posted more here and answered some asks, I would share some facts about me on my blog both BTS/Jikook related and non related.

1.) I became ARMY during quarantine era. A friend got me into them. After I watched their MMA 2019 performance I was blown away. She was a Yoongi bias so that is whose content I initially watched and gravitated towards. When I ventured out on my own and watched more performance stages and Run BTS I knew immediately that I was drawn to Jimin. Everything from his stage presence, gorgeous vocals and dance lines, funny and sassy personality, but also super empathetic and caring. He was it for me and still is. But I do love all seven of them. I could probably rank them in order of my “favorites” but Jimin would be number 1 without a doubt.

***super fun fact is that I actually first was exposed to BTS in 2017 :( that’s right, I could have stanned back then. I frequently kind of kidding but not really refer to this as my biggest regret. An undergrad in my research group was obsessed with them. She showed me a clip of them dancing and probably because I didn’t like her that much (she was friends with someone toxic) I chalked it up as so they sing and dance? Who cares. I ended up reconnecting with her later when I stanned and found out that she was a low-key TKK shipper and loved reading their fanfics. By that point, I was already sus of Jikook so we clashed and I don’t talk to her. 🤣

2.) That brings me to point number two. The most important: Jikook. I wish I could remember the first time I was like yep this is a thing but I don’t. I do remember the first Jikook moment that I was exposed to was their Black Swan pas de deux. I remember finding their chemistry palpable and bold of them to perform a romantic dance together but that was it. The more I watched Run BTS and being a Jimin bias I couldn’t help but notice JK too and their closeness. What was the nail in the coffin so to speak? The cliches. GCF Tokyo and Rosebowl did it for me and I’ve been endeared by them ever since.

3.) I’m a sort of Jikook fanfic writer on A03 who I guess is on a hiatus and has been for awhile now. I love fanfiction and have been reading it and writing it a little since I was like 12. I was never a RPF girlie until BTS but I view them as characters in a story because that is what they are when I’m reading or writing fics. Not the actual people.

4.) I’m asexual and probably aromatic to some extent too. Asexuality is so misunderstood, I could go on about it for days, but I’m not the authority on it by any means. I like the idea of sex in the abstract. Fanfics, great. M/M where I don’t feel inserted in the act, even better. I’m not a prude, I just don’t experience sexual attraction. The idea of looking at someone even the tannies and wanting to fuck them makes me uncomfortable and it’s something I can’t relate to and have never felt. I’ve had sex of course, but it’s never lived up to the hype for me. I can definitely live without it. As far as being aromantic that I’m not sure. I love the idea of romance or I wouldn’t be so smitten with Jikook and other cute couples. I don’t actively seek romance in my life. I don’t date or want to date. I haven’t had a crush on someone in like 10 years. I’m not opposed to it. Their gender wouldn’t matter to me but it’s not something I feel like I need in my life. If you are anywhere on the ace spectrum or are LGBTQIA+, hi you are more than welcome here.

5.) I’m educated! I have a PhD in chemistry. I am on the Professor track and I teach organic chemistry. I spent 7 years in grad school combined for my masters and PhD.

So yeah! This way you know a little about me when you send in asks. I am terrible at formatting and use my phone only for Tumblr, so my blog probably won’t ever be pretty. I’m just here for connections and content that is more in depth than Twitter. Yes, I’m still calling it twitter. Sorry not sorry Elon.

#about myself #kookmin #jikook #blogger

[prince-liest]

Hi (I almost never use tumblr so lmk if I’m doing smth wrong!!) I’ve read a few of your Hazbin Hotel fics on AO3 and I just have to ask, how do you manage to post things so quickly?! I’m trying to start my own Hazbin hotel fic and I’m so fixated on getting their characterization correct that it’s taking me like 3X longer than normal to write lol!! If you have any advice or tips that would be amazing but of course, no pressure. I was just so curious. You’re very talented!!

Definitely not doing anything wrong! :D I wish I had a better answer for you, but the honest truth is that it's a combination of me having a lot of writing experience AND that I just had a fuckton of free time the past four weeks. It's kinda funny that you sent this ask now, because I just started a rotation for school that is going to consume very literally like 90% of my waking life on the days I have shifts for about three weeks, so you're about to watch me write BARELY ANYTHING AT ALL, hahaha.

That said, I relate to you very aggressively on the matter of worrying about characterization. That was the number one thing stopping me from writing fanfic for years and a lot of how I got over it was practicing characterization in OC RPs where I had to work with various characters but didn't have to be so afraid of missing something and getting them wrong because they were my characters so I already knew everything about them.

I think for Hazbin Hotel in particular, a lot of how identifiable and zany the characters are comes from their dialogue and their physicality, so personally I've frequently been rewatching little bits of the show to take point on how the characters genuinely talk and act! For Alastor, for example, I actually frequently have to un-fancy his dialogue while I'm writing by referencing canon conversations he's had because it's so easy to code switch into making him as prim as his general vibe conveys when in reality he actually does not talk like that. For Charlie and Lucifer, a lot of their vibe comes from the lack of smoothness in their speech - they stutter, hem, haw, backpedal, etc. For Angel, I think the way he poses himself and when he chooses to make sex jokes and touch people (or respect their space!) says a lot as well.

Practice makes this a LOT easier, but for my very first fic, I ended up taking a lot of notes on what I felt like captured the vibes of a character! I don't really do this anymore, but it was very helpful initially for giving me an understanding of what goes into my perception of any particular characterization.

#ask #personal #avaaalien #writing advice #I hope this helped!!

[wordrew]

Artefact: Pendacour, Testament of the Phoenix (Tome) Session 1

Lately, I have been increasingly interested in the world of solo RPGs as a way of exploring game design and as a creative outlet. Over the years, I have managed to collect a number of solo RPGs, but I have never actually played any of the games I own. I decided to finally start by picking up the one I have been most intrigued by, Artefact, a game created by Jack Harrison and published by Mousehole Press.

In Artefact, you become a sentient magical item exploring the item's history from creation through its line of Keepers - what a fucking rad idea! So I grabbed some candles and my new soloRPG journal and dimmed the lights down really low - this was going to be some intimate gaming time sans interruptions from the fam.

To start your journey in Artefact, you must first decide on what type of item you're going to play as - for this first experience, I decided to be a Tome based on its tagline - "A receptacle of knowledge, lost or forbidden." If you've ever gamed with me, you know that I love the trope of lost or forbidden knowledge. My characters are always seeking.

After choosing your item type, you follow a creation process which is unique for each item. For the Tome, you give the item three Traits, draw a picture of it, and name the chapters within. This happens before you start answering the Artefact Questions (which includes giving yourself a name), but I went right into naming since one had already manifested itself.

I was now Pendacour, Testament of the Phoenix. I was penned in the stale air of the now-lost temple of Saint Melacour, by the fanatical monk, Pendax. Since I skipped the three Traits portion, I will stop here and return to what I was supposed to do first.

As an aside, I (Drew) am finding that soloRPGs are a bit of the Wild West in terms of how they are intended to be played or used. From the information I've gathered on social media and places like itch.io, soloRPGs are meant to provide a general guide on how to play the game but openly allow for players to deviate whenever and however they like. For me, naming comes first. Almost always. Names have power, and they serve to help me really embrace whatever character I am writing (even if said character is, in fact, a magical Tome). Often times, I will have a character's name in mind before I begin "rolling them up."

Back to me, Pendacour, and my Traits, though. Artefact gives each item type a list of suggested Traits, which is a useful starting point. In fact, reviewing the list now offers some other intriguing options outside of the three that I embraced. My first trait is Blessed, followed immediately by Divine. In the end, I decided that they were synonymous enough for me to combine these traits. I then embraced Loyal and ultimately decided I was loyal to Saint Melacour and those who embraced His path. Finally, after synonymizing Blessed and Divine, I embraced Eager as my final Trait. We'll get to Eager in a later post...

Then I outline my chapters:

On Saint Melacour

His Blessings Upon Us

Invocations for Channeling

Offerings, Rituals, and Prayers

To Know His Presence

How to Live to Honor Him

Remembrance of Those Before

The final step before diving into the Artefact questions is to draw a picture of myself and give it some brief descriptors.

So my styling is a purple-dyed leather tome with a fiery silvery-orange/red ball of flame. The flame has stylized wings and tail of a phoenix embossed in gold. I have metallic corner protectors made of ornate, filigree gold, and several ribbon place markers. I am colorful and regal and of superior craftsmanship. I am a labor of fanatical love, but that story will have to come later...

#ttrpg #indie ttrpg #solo rpg #ttrpg community #ttrpgs #gameplay #artefact

[delta-orionis]

i wanna hear about the simon aroace beam pls

(Tumblr is apparently trying to silence me because this is the second time I'm writing out this answer. Anyway.)

I already made a post about my aroace Simon headcanons several years ago, but I'm more than happy to talk about it again. (Also I'm not sure if you specifically ever beat SOMA, so you're probably unfamiliar with some of the points I made in the aforementioned post. I'll do my best to explain.)

(Continued under the cut)

Simon is an interesting character because he's an everyman. I often joke about how he's Just Some Guy who's having the worst day ever. He's had a pretty average life (aside from the recent loss of his friend and traumatic brain injury), and it doesn't come up often in the text of the game. He brings it up sometimes, but it isn't the focus of his dialogue. He was thrust from an unremarkable life in 2015 into Undersea Robot Hell and is forced to make some serious decisions about the fate of the human race, so he has other priorities.

His characterization as an everyman combined with the fact that we don't actually know a lot about his life before the events of SOMA make Simon a very easy character to project your own experiences onto. This makes him a good fit for a video game protagonist because it makes it easy for the player to relate to him. It also means that it's easy to fill in the blanks of his characterization with your own ideas. I've personally seen lots of different interpretations of his gender and sexuality; I've seen people headcanon him as straight, gay, bisexual, etc etc. His gender is also an entire can of worms; I've seen people make compelling arguments that he's a trans man, a trans woman, and even nonbinary and agender.

Anyway... this was all preface for my thesis that Simon is aroace. The easy explanation is that I, an aroace person, find it easy to project my own experiences on to him in a way that makes sense to me. I've talked to a few other aroace SOMA fans about this, and they've agreed. (This is what I mean by the aroace beam. I simply enjoy headcanoning characters I like as aroace, because I, too, am aroace. I'm hitting them with my beam attack. Metaphorically. I've now rendered the joke unfunny by explaining it.)

(Side note- there's a running joke in the SOMA server I run that many SOMA fans are asexual. There certainly are a number of them in that specific server, however this also might be confirmation bias, because I haven't done a fandom-wide survey or anything like that. It also might be because I promote the server heavily on my blog, and as an openly aroace person, I probably have a statistically significant amount of aspec followers who are then compelled to join the server I help run. More research is required, I guess.)

The longer explanation for this headcanon is that, within the text of the game, Simon doesnt' appear to be very concerned with sex or romance.

In the dream sequence at the beginning of the game, Simon tells Ashley he wants to tell her something, and she responds with "please don't make this weird". A lot of people tend to interpret this as Simon working up the courage to tell Ashley he has a crush on her. The scene ends abruptly before this can be confirmed. However, there are a few unused voice lines in the game files that extend the scene a bit. Simon was originally supposed to say "I'm sorry" to Ashley before the dream ended. This implies that he wanted to apologize to her for involving her in the car accident that ended her life, not confess a crush.

There is another dream sequence later in the game, the context being that Simon is under the influence of the WAU and is being shown an idealized version of his life. He sees Ashley, alive and standing in his apartment, where she declares that the two of them are in love. Simon seems confused about this and wakes up shortly after.

I will admit that this scene implies he has romantic feelings for her. However, in the post I made a few years ago, I talked about how a common experience for a lot of aroace people is not being able to distinguish between different types of attraction and how this can lead to aces convincing themselves that they have a crush on someone when what they really desire is a platonic relationship:

I think what sells it the most for me is that, during the dream sequence with Ashley, when Ashley tells him that they’re a couple, he sounds confused. You could interpret this as general confusion (he doesn’t know how Ashley is suddenly alive again or why they’re suddenly in a relationship), but I like to think that he’s conflicted about his feelings for her. He knows he wants to be close to her, but he’s not sure if being a romantic couple is exactly what he wants. If the dream sequence is supposed to be an idealized scenario, then why is he conflicted about the thing he supposedly wants?

Simon strikes me as the type of guy who isn’t super informed about LGBT stuff. He probably knows a little bit about general LGBT stuff, but maybe hasn’t learned about asexuality, or he doubts that it could apply to him. He might think that, because he wants to be close with Ashley, that the next logical step would be a romantic relationship, even if his feelings are actually just platonic. (I know from personal experience growing up asexual that I would sometimes invent crushes on people, when in reality my feelings were just platonic and I actually just wanted to be their friend. From what I’ve heard, this is a common experience for a lot of aro and ace people from before they learned about asexuality/aromanticism.)

I recognize that this interpretation might be bending canon a bit. Occam's razor would imply that he simply has a romantic crush on Ashley, but that's no fun.

SOMA is a game that is, overall, pretty uninterested in exploring romantic or sexual relationships. It also features two main characters of different genders (Simon and Catherine) who develop a strong platonic relationship over the course of the game. I, personally, find it a breath of fresh air, especially when a lot of science fiction and cyberpunk stories have a heavy emphasis on sex. (I'm definitely not bitter about all the weird sexism present in cyberpunk novels like Neuromancer, for example...)

I suppose it makes sense, then, that the game would have a sizeable amount of aroace fans. I personally think there is something inherently queer about the game- although not explicit in the text, transhumanist stories like SOMA can be read as metaphors for queer experiences. Questioning one's identity and humanity is something that a lot of LGBT people do on a regular basis, so it makes perfect sense that they would relate to a character from a game exploring those topics, albeit through a science fiction lens.

Anyway. Very, very long story short, I hit Simon with my aroace beam attack because I think it's fun. He means a lot to me and I like thinking about him.

(Don't get me started on what I think about his gender. He's got so much going on in that department and absolutely no time to come to terms with it all. That's a post for another day.)

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk, I hope you enjoyed reading, etc etc. I'm going to go back to rotating Simon in my brain now.

#asks #girlfriendsofthegalaxy #exploding tumblr with my mind because it deleted the original version of this post #anyway this is 1.2k words. enjoy #soma #soma game #simon jarrett

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

yeah my tl;dr opinion on the second billboard is that it’s gonna have very little impact on making us more visible and probably very little direct impact on our chances of getting renewed, but if it makes some ppl feel like they’re doing something then i don’t rlly care bc it’s not my money. that being said, i’m a little worried that the second billboard might end up hurting the general ofmd fandom’s morale more than helping.

elaboration under the cut bc this shit got long

so the ofmd fandom has already caught the attention of the media, we have new articles being written about us pretty frequently. hbo/wbd is also facing a lot of public backlash for their continuous cancellation of tv shows, especially diverse shows, AND they are specifically getting a lot of shit abt refusing to sell coyote v acme. they have a lot of money to gain via tax write-offs from shelving thay movie and refusing to sell, but refusing to sell ofmd isn’t gonna make them that kind of money. so public pressure + financial incentive combined, there’s a pretty good chance of wbd selling ofmd to another studio.

ironing out a deal with netflix/apple tv/amazon+ is gonna take time tho. from a fandom perspective, it’s already been be a very long, very demoralizing waiting game, and personally i would be surprised if we’re even halfway through it.

so there are two things at play when it comes to the fandom giving djenks et al the best chance of securing the best deal for this show: maintaining visibility and maintaining fandom morale. obviously visibility is more directly affecting the negotiations, but morale is important in keeping as many ppl in the fandom active as we can during this gravy basket of a waiting period.

so the question is, how does the second billboard serve those goals? will it maintain or increase our visibility? will it boost fandom morale?

before i get into the second billboard tho, i wanna talk abt the first billboard.

i think we can all agree that the nyt billboard boosted morale: cast and crew were posting about it, djenks shared a selfie in front of it, the energy on ofmdtwt and in discord servers and here on tumblr was very hopeful and excited. it was an emotional high point that i think we’re all kinda missing as the weeks drag on and we approach the two-month mark since the cancellation.

but did the nyt billboard increase or maintain our visibility? more specifically, did it increase or maintain our visibility to a degree that was proportionate to the amount of money spent?

i’ll be honest, i don’t know the answer to that one. i don’t know much about advertising or about tracking ROI for things like billboards and flyover banners. i think, though, that any significant increase in visibility came not from the billboard itself, but from the social media response to the billboard. the excitement of seeing cast and crew talking abt the billboard had us all hyped up and posting/tweeting in our excitement, and that got us trending. the livestream of the billboard probably had an increase in viewership, which i’m sure is something that gets tracked somewhere. and i’m also sure wbd execs were aware of the billboard, and djenks tagging netflix, apple, and amazon means those executives were definitely made aware of it, too

but i’m doubtful abt how much the nyt billboard raised our visibility outside of a few ppl in the streaming/entertainment industry and outside of the ofmd fandom. there were already articles being written about us by that point—did any publications decide to write more articles abt the renewal campaign directly because of the billboard? did the campaign for s3 reach the general public? did site traffic to the petition actually increase? did anyone on the streets of new york or LA actually follow the link/qr code/whatever to learn more about what was being advertised?

on twitter, at least one person who had been supportive of the renewal efforts and who claimed to have relevant industry experience said that the return-on-investment from the billboard/truck/flyover was shockingly small, meaning that for the amount of money that was spent, we should have received more site traffic, more social media buzz, more mainstream awareness than what we got. this is not me saying the ofmd fandom was scammed—the people who donated money were told what the money was going to be used for, and the money was used exactly as promised. but the criticism was that if the goal was to increase our visibility, perhaps the money could’ve been spent differently.

so that’s the nyt billboard: successful at raising morale, unclear exactly how effective it was at increasing visibility. now for the london billboard, located on the vue cinema on leicester square

first, a few things about the site of the london billboard: the ad space being purchased is not, as i have seen claimed, on a hugely iconic billboard and venue. arguably, it is not even located on leicester square. the giant billboard is on a budget movie theater that is right off the corner of leicester square. people have been confusing the vue theater with the odeon theater, which is an iconic landmark in the middle of leicester square where movie premiers happen and where many tourists stop to take pictures. from what i’ve seen (and heard from various uk fans), the foot traffic by the vue theater is not really comparable to the foot traffic at the location of the first billboard.

so, billboard 2 and visibility. the question of if this billboard increases visibility of the campaign, whether that be via successfully advertising to the people walking by or via generating social media buzz.

the thing with the foot traffic issue is i’m honestly not sure how much of a boon the high amount of foot traffic was to the first billboard. bc honestly, how many pedestrians pay attention to billboards enough to actually check out the thing that’s being advertised? probably not very many, hence why there was criticisms that the billboard yielded a low ROI. if there was any increase in our visibility externally (by which i mean, not within studios or within the industry, and not within the fandom and other ppl already aware of the existence of the renewal campaign), it most likely came primarily from articles and social media buzz.

i personally am doubtful that the second billboard is gonna generate the same kind of attention online. the location is less flashy than the first one, david jenkins probably isn’t gonna fly over to london to take a selfie with it, and simply the fact that it’s a second billboard is gonna decrease the energy in how ppl respond to it. like, we already did this in a very famous tourist location. now we’re doing it again, only it’s around the corner from a different, slightly less famous tourist location. the surprise and excitement we saw from the cast and crew will inherently be lessened when we pull the same trick twice. that might also extend to media coverage—how many times do we think journalists are gonna cover the same media stunt pulled by the same general group of people? there is a possibility that the answer to that is only once.

but, to be fair, i did say that visibility was only one part of the equation. the other important thing was morale and keeping the fandom’s energy up, something that is going to get harder and harder the more time passes without us hearing any news.

a second billboard is definitely one way of tackling that issue. fans can meet up at the billboard, post selfies with it, hang out. it’s kind of a cool thing, to see a huge sign on a billboard and know that it was a bunch of passionate fans put it there. and we already know that the first billboard had everyone pumped. more than increasing visibility, maybe this is the primary goal of the second billboard: to hype up the fandom.

i worry, though, that it’s not going to hype up the fandom in the way people are hoping for. like i said, i doubt we’re going to see the same outpouring of excitement from cast and crew that we did the first time around—even already some of the actors have said to the fandom that it’s not worth it for us to spend our money this way. and even within the wider ofmd fandom itself, i would not be surprised if fans just aren’t as excited by this second billboard simply because it’s the second billboard. already, it seems to me like ofmd fans who aren’t directly contributing to the renewal campaign aren’t responding as enthusiastically to this billboard as they did the first one—there’s a question of why it’s necessary, what it’s going to accomplish. so a less encouraging response to this billboard might make a lot of people feel disheartened, disappointed.

and christ, that’s not even mentioning the fact that that almost every time this fandom is trending, there’s a wave of “ofmd fans kys” sentiment that is quick to follow. i have long ago accepted that suicide baiting as a regular part of my internet experience, but most people have not (and frankly, they shouldn’t). a lot of people just will stop posting about ofmd if they get attacked for doing so. if that happens, it is 100% going to negatively impact the renewal campaign and our chances of getting picked up by a different studio.

even if none of this happens, even if the morale is boosted tenfold by the new billboard, i just feel like there are other ways to keep the energy up without crowdfunding ridiculous amounts of money. we already have samba gradually doling out bts content in tiny doses and catapulting us through the roof with each one. i’m also a fan of what AdoptOurCrew is doing on twitter, sharing articles and info and coming up with silly little games to play with their followers. it’s not a huge stunt like a billboard, and it’s not gonna get us on the front page of a huge pop culture publication, but we already have a pretty consistent stream coming in of articles mentioning ofmd and the renewal effort. also, yes, what aoc is doing is not the huge adrenaline high of the nyt billboard, but this is gonna be a marathon, not a sprint. there are a lot of ofmd fans, so if we just keep the general fandom feeling reasonably good abt posting ofmd content, that’s more than enough to keep our online presence consistent enough that studios will know we’re invested in that s3. but if we keep chasing highs we’re gonna burn out fast—at the very least just bc ppl are gonna run out of cash.

that’s what my concern comes down to, really: the money. because to me, the use of actual real-world money should go towards boosting visibility, and boosting morale can come from simply engaging in the fandom, doing fun projects, spreading positivity. and i am very, very doubtful that this second billboard is going to increase the show’s visibility to people who aren’t already aware of ofmd and what’s going on with the renewal. i understand that the idea was to capitalize on s2 airing on the bbc–a good idea, but if the intention is to reach this new audience, shouldn’t the ads should go somewhere they’re going to be more visible, more inescapable? the underground would’ve been a good choice, imo, bc the cell service down there sucks and ppl have no choice but to stare at the walls while they wait for the train. but this might have been less effective at boosting morale, because it’s less flashy and a significantly worse place for fans to meet up. so it’s about what the priority is here: is the money primarily for boosting morale, or boosting visibility?

like i said, i think prioritizing morale-boosting is the wrong choice. and even if that wasn’t the intention, i think that’s the only thing that’s gonna be affected in any way by the billboard. but like, that’s why i didn’t donate to the crowdfunding for this billboard (or to the first one tbh). bc ppl can spend their money however they want, even if i think it’s a waste. currently the average donation to the SaveOFMD ko-fi is abt £34, or $40. i’m not gonna get that worked up over a few hundred strangers online spending $40 for something i think is a waste. ppl spend all sorts of money on stuff i think is a waste. who cares.

if everything backfires and the billboard ends up hurting the renewal campaign then… idk. i hope if it blows up into drama that the drama gets to be funny, at least.

#ofmd #save ofmd #txt #mine #og #ofmd fandom crit

[rhineposting]

What do you think of Lilith? Do you think she got redeemed too fast, or do you think her development was fine?

I was really looking forward to seeing someone ask about her again, so I'm more than happy to answer!

Per usual, more below the cut.

From the beginning I rather enjoyed Lilith as a character, both design, personality and writing wise as she proved to be a fun mix of both a very powerful and intelligent sorceress and a nerdy older sister.

As opposed to some people, I consider her arc to be rather well written, when you look at in retrospect. Her story is of that coming to terms with her individuality, self worth and even at some point, her faith.

(NOTE : Since I already discussed most of her trauma related to her being a former cult member in my first post about her, as well as parts of her family related trauma in another post, I will focus on other aspects of her character in this one.)

From when we first see her in Covention, we see that she's ridden with guilt upon seeing her sister in a fragile state - believing it was her fault. Which technically was, it was just that at this very moment Eda was playing dumb. In that guilt, to every opportunity of getting Eda to join her cause and in turn cured, she immediately broke her Covenhead persona - the one she built up for years and practically wears as her face. If that makes sense.

Right then and there, I had a feeling that she would join the main cast later on. So I wouldn't say it was done too quickly? It was hinted for a good while, in my opinion.

As for the other things...

The crew did incredible when portraying her. Their use of combined tropes in her character were executed delightfully! Instead of appearing obnoxious, like with Odalia and Boscha, they blended together into a very cohesive charaterization of a nerdy, older sibling character - without making her look like a complete joke. Even though throughout the show her excitement in history and alike is often a base for jokes, it's never actually made fun of.

She is almost never shamed for her interests nor how she approaches them. However, when it does happen it's either her sister, or another character who is clearly depicted as being in the wrong. It's a small thing, but to people who grew up being ridiculed for their hobbies, it probably means the world.

Most importantly, her being the scholarly type is never her whole character - it's just a puzzle piece that makes the picture of who she is. She's also very perceptive, determined person who learns very quickly and is ready to put herself before her family.

Personally, I also liked how the show portrayed her struggles at the very beginning of season 2.

On top of still feeling guilty over essentially rendering her sister disabled for the rest of her life, she had to also deal with the baggage that came with being a cult survivor that for years was deprived of her true identity, stripped of her self worth as an individual and led to believe her self worth was determined by whether or not she was devoting herself to serving a higher power or goal.

All of that combined eventually lead to her initially seeking full independence and refusing any help, which is actually quite realistic, as finding balance is probably the hardest part in recovering and healing. Been there myself.

Though, even almost at the very end of seaon 2, we still see her struggle. This time, with faith. After being used to having a figure of absolute authority all her life, she immediately latches onto the idea of King being a god, once again indirectly trying to reduce herself to a faithful servant.

It's actually one of my favourite aspects of her arc. Progress and healing is not linear, and so there will be moments of returning to old ways of thinking and acting - which is what happened to Lilith, and there is nothing wrong about it. No one tried to shame her for it, or viewed her as crazy.

In fact, precisely the opposite happens! In that same episode, we see a character portrayed as being at peace with himself admit that he had gone through something similar and offered advice based on his own experience! And King simply told her that he's seeing a "pattern" in her behaviour, reminding her that what she was doing was unhealthy to her, first and foremost - not that she was weird or wrong for it. Just misguided.

In the end, all of that built up for a very satisfying conclusion - she made a best friend, came to terms with her disability and made peace with it, reconnected with her family after being separated from them for years, started working in her actual desired field of interests and actually grew into the person she wanted to be, surrounded by people who respect and love her for who she is.

Just how am I not supposed to love her as well? It's literally impossible. Per my best friend and soulmate's words, who said it best :

10/10

Hilarious. Magnificent. Incredible. She's the dream.

#lilith clawthorne #toh #the owl house #I JUST LOVE HER SO MUCH I WANT TO BE HER!!!! #Rhine Character Studies

[alexiswritingstuff]

Human - Pt. 2

Masterlist

Status: Complete.

Pairing: Castiel x gn! reader.

Summary: Now that the fallen angel had been located, it was finally time to relax. Though, when the reader spotted Castiel’s lack of an iconic coat, a new journey was just about to begin. 

Content/Warnings: fluff, descriptions of sensory overload/overstimulation. 

Parts: one - two - three

A/N: This was originally supposed to be longer, due to the addition of another scene, but while writing it I realised that it was quite lengthy. I’m not sure what people’s opinions on long posts are.

So, I guess my question, now, is...

Would you guys like a part 3??

Tag list: @elizabeth-skywalker -  @aliceblxck​

Dusk had fallen a few hours ago. 

A deep amber light shone through the gaps in the curtains that draped across the window, and the beams blared onto any surface it could. Including the exposed skin of your face whenever you leaned down to take a bite.

Your back smoothed against the chair beneath you, the gaze, that was once on the food in your hands, shifting when a sigh had come from the other side of the table.

By the time your eyes had actually landed on the culprit, he had taken another chunk out of his own sandwich. It was a hasty movement. One that ended with some filling stuck to the corners of his mouth, crumbs spilling onto his lap.

There was an odd feeling that resided in your chest as you watched Castiel practically scoff down his food. 

You couldn’t tell if it was because of him generally eating in the first place, or because the last time that you had seen him eat like this was when you had that run in with Greed.

But either way, he looked... happy. Relieved. At peace. 

Who knows the last time he felt that.

Cas must have sensed your stare as he suddenly met it with almost half-lidded eyes. “What?” he questioned. But of course, it was through a mouthful of food. You couldn’t recreate the sound if you tried.

Amused by the attempt, a smile threatened to form on your lips while you shook your head. Only just managing to have swallowed down your own mouthful. 

“Nothing, nothing.” you insisted, and placed your sandwich onto the extra piece of saran wrap to now use as a plate, “So.” You cleared your throat, “How are you adjusting to, you know...”

“Feeling?”

Castiel made another sound, that seemed to be in acknowledgement, as he took in your question. Though, when he actually went to speak... his mouth was still full. 

You slightly leaned forward in your chair, awaiting Cas to get rid of the sandwich reminants. And soon he did, even taking a moment to check that all of it was gone. “I seem to have forgotten how... truly, intense hunger feels.”

“The need to fill your stomach, the endless amount of tastes,” His eyes fell back to the sandwich in his hands, “And this.” Castiel continued before holding it up, as if it couldn’t be seen already, “It’s extraordinary.”

“Cas, It’s just peanut butter and jelly.” you pointed out after tilting your head to the side, the amusement you felt never seeming to fade. 

“Exactly,” Castiel affirmed without an ounce of hesitation. Those eyes of his had settled on yours once again, and a look of wonder, fascination, swirled through them. 

“How does one think of such a combination?”

It was a good question. One that hadn’t actually gone through your mind before, meaning that now you were sat looking into the distance as you thought. Searching for an answer. “Uh...”

“Well, I guess, for me... It’s through a form of habit?” you finally spoke with a shrug of your shoulders. “I was already eating one when I made it, so... I thought it would be nice for you to try.”

“I guess I was right.”

In that moment, the hungry movements from the opposite side of the table abated. 

Castiel narrowed his eyes, “You made this?” He spoke with such genuine surprise, his head tilting the way it usually did when he had some kind of revelation.  

“Mhm,” you hummed slowly, not entirely knowing how to react to the shift of atmosphere, which included the new expression on his face. Your body leaned into the back of the chair. “Like, I said,” You shrugged, “It’s just Peanut Butter and Grape Jelly.”

But despite your attempts to escape the sudden attention, whatever it was that radiated off of Cas never faltered. 

He had even stopped chewing his food, and was now sat staring at you with this look in his eyes. A light smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Thank you.”

“What...” you attempted to question. However, when you actually caught onto the way his lips had shifted, a warmth suddenly shot through your body.

“Just-- Eat your sandwich.” You waved your hand with your words, wanting to dismiss the spotlight in any way possible, and ended up crossing your arms over your chest with a light huff. 

The smile on Castiel’s face only grew in response to your actions. And even though he complied to your dismissal, digging back into the sandwich he practically adored, it wasn’t something he was going to forget. 

“It’s not like I’m Gordon Ramsay, or whatever.” you breathed out through the raised embarrassment. Seemingly stuck in the past conversation, even though Cas was ready to move on. 

The man himself had tried to ask a question. But yet again, it appeared that he had taken a bite moments prior, and it came out as a mumble yet again.

It was a sound that made you forget about the heat that ran through the skin of your hands, and you looked back to Cas, noticing the familiar display of confusion across his features.

“The chef.” you pointed out, once you realised that it was the name that had caused his reaction... But the look remained. 

His head tilted again. 

“He’s a chef. Like one of the most known chefs-- You really don’t know who he is?” 

After taking a moment to properly think, Cas shook his head, swallowing, “I’m afriad I’m not very well versed in anything cookery related.”

You could only hum in response as you looked at him.  

Obviously, It was understandable that he had a lack of knowledge when it came to ‘popular’ things. Especially because of the amount of shit that has been going on, literally, since he stepped on earth for the first time. 

But you thought that he would at least have heard about the chef.

I mean, even Crowley could make some stupid comment about him.

 “Well,” you began after clearing your throat, realising that you had been lost in thought. You straightened your body against the chair beneath you, “We can change that.”

“Actually, since you need to eat now, it would be good to see how things get made.” you pointed out, a smile appearing on your lips at the idea, “I can at least teach you the basics.”

The sandwich in Castiel’s grasp had been offically demolished. “I would like that.” he said as he folded the loose saran wrap. He placed it on the table, moving his hand up to wipe at the crumbs, or contents of the sandwich, that clung to the corners of his mouth. 

As your eyes followed the movement, however, your attention seemed to shift to the sleeve of his jacket. Or rather, the material that it was made of. “Hey,”

It wasn’t the same type, or colour, that you were used to.

“What happened to your coat?”

“My coat?” Cas questioned through a breath, the look of satisfaction clear across his face as he sunk a little in his chair. An action that made it apparent that he was only half listening. 

“Yeah, the trench coat.” you clarified. And it did the trick. You had his attention. 

Castiel’s, once practically half lidded, eyes seemed to have widened slightly. “Oh.”

The voice he spoke through was one you almost didn’t catch. His eyes avoided your gaze. His chin even lowered in a way that looked like he was ashamed. Or guilty. “There was... a small altercation that left it, uh, stained.”

“I only had a certain amount of money.” He cleared his throat, “I could either have used it on one of the washing facilities, or used it to acquire something to consume, and well I...”

“I must say, I was rather thirsty.”

The muscles in your face were tight. Tense. The reminder of how long it took to actually find Cas, in the first place, was now back and fresh, in your mind. 

A deep breath filtered through your lungs as you looked at the man before you. The tired, drained, expression resurfaced across his features the more time your eyes spent analysing the skin. A look you had to fix.

“Would you like to go get another one then?”

The reaction was instant this time. His gaze had practically snapped to yours, almost like he forgot you were even there, as confusion emanated from the man once again. “What?” 

“Yeah, why not?” You shrugged your shoulders, “There’s still a good few hours until the stores begin to close.” you pointed out before gesturing towards the duffle bag, that now resided on the bed, “It’s not like there’s a portable wardrobe in there with endless shoes and coats.”

The next time you spoke, your voice was less casual. Softer, “We can get anything you like, Cas.” An attempt to sweeten the deal, “Maybe... an entierly different coat, or-- or you know, even the same one you had-- Whatever, you want, man, that’s up to you.”

“... That sound good?”

The eye contact that the two of you held never begged to break. The simplicity of your words. The way you made such an offer without hesitation. The way you had said all of it and meant it...

Castiel was baffled.

His lips had parted during the process of astonishment, but it seemed that nothing could form. And there he was all over again. Stuck staring at you like he had won a grand prize. 

“Yes,” Cas managed out after a good few seconds, though it didn’t even look like he knew he had said it. 

But once the final cog had turned in his head, his entire demeanour shifted. 

A certain expression took over his face. It was one that you couldn’t quite recognise as you looked back and forth between those eyes of his. Before you could’ve even tried to ask, however. “Yes, Y/n.”

“It sounds... good.”

~

The two of you had arrived at one of the local clothing branches. The automatic doors slid open when they detected your presence, almost giving the man beside you a heart attack in the process. 

Once you were actually inside, a deep breath filled and exited your lungs as you took in the plethora of items hung on racks, or placed on shelves. 

You were excited. The many shopping sequences you had seen in movies and TV shows had prepared you for this very moment.

“Well,” You didn’t even look at Cas when you spoke. So caught up in the moment that you, somehow, ended up missing the part where you had literally grabbed onto his hand.

“Let’s get started.”

And then you were off. Practically dragging Castiel in any direction that you possibly could.

It was exactly as you imagined.

The next few minutes were spent shuffling through the different shirts on hangers. You would do that thing where you got Cas to stand in front of you, and put the item of clothing on his chest so that you could measure the size of it, compared to him.

The estimate you got may always have been a bit off, considering the fact that he was still wearing that blue jacket, but he didn’t seem to mind it. 

Thus, your journey had continued.

Now, two of you were near the centre of the store, stopping at one of those circular racks so that you could flick through the array of trousers to join the shirts that had been previously slung over your shoulder. “Hey, Cas,”

“You can go look around by yourself if you want?” you began with a sort of laziness from being too focused on the different materials, “I know what stuff to get now, so you can...”

You had spared a glance to Cas midway through speaking.

It was a simple test to gage whether he was actually listening to you or not, as he hadn’t really spoken much since you got there. But when your eyes landed on him, for what was supposed to be a split second, you got your answer.

His head was shaking before you had even finished.

The thing was, though, his gaze wasn’t directed towards you. His eyes were flickering around, almost wildly. His body twisted one way, and then another, in an attempt to take in his surroundings. 

It wasn’t working.

The chatter from various pairs of people, the faint lights above that would flicker ever so slightly from being there, probably, since the store first opened, the different colours of clothes that seemed to blend together the faster Castiel moved his eyes.

It was all new.

You had been so caught up in the excitement; the act of being able to do something for Cas, in return for his continuous generosity, that you had forgotten he was experiencing all of this for the first time.

Feeling all of this for the first time.

So, after mentally cursing at yourself for at least a minute, you moved about a step closer to the man who was still making attempts to process everything around him. And didn’t stop until you could place your hand on his arm. 

Cas looked towards you with such speed that it took your brain a moment to actually acknowledge it when your palm had touched down.

But as soon as it did, you recognised the realisation that began to battled its way through the panic set in his eyes. Finally, he had found something familiar after the constant attacks to his senses.

“How about we go find where the jackets and coats are, huh?” you suggested as lightly as you could while Cas took in a deep breath t to further ground himself.

And when he was able to give you an answer, which in this case was a nod of his head. That was exactly where you went. 

Now, the two of you had begun to look through the items held up by coat hangers, starting at the edges of the racks before working your way towards the middle.

There were quite a few that Cas expressed interest for. He would grab onto the sleeve, and let his fingers trace, back and forth, over the fabric to properly understand the texture.

The problem was, though, that Castiel never had a picky side to him. Almost every jacket, every coat he looked at, there was a list of pros that he could recite as if it was always locked inside of his brain somewhere.

But, after coming across one coat in particular, he unhooked the hanger from the rack. Slightly lifting it so that he could see the full thing. 

Another trench coat.

It shared an incredible resemblance to the one that any person would have seen him in. Same length, same design, and almost the exactly same buttons. 

I mean, to be fair, it was at least a shade darker.

“Is that the one then?”

Castiel had begun nodding his head immediately, “Oh yes,” he breathed out, and lifted the item in front of him so that he could fully see it. His fingers dragged over the length of fabric until they got to the bottom. “Yes, I would say so.”

“Here,” you spoke after getting an idea and grabbed Castiel’s forearm, pulling him along once again before he could utter a word.

Your movements halted at the end of the aisle, the two of you were currently in, which was exactly when Cas’s eyes found his reflection staring right back at him. A mirror.

The man sort of stood there for a moment. Gazing at the face, that was doing the same to him, before his attention dragged over to you. As if asking for confirmation.

“See if it fits.” you stated simply with a gesture towards the coat in his hands. 

And he did exactly that. Castiel slid the coat off of the hanger, passed it to you, and then began pulling the material over his--

“No, no, Cas,” He paused his movements, “Take-- You need to take that jacket off first, and then... Yeah,” you pointed out, your words fading away when he seemed to get the gist. “Yeah, that’s it.”

Soon, yet another piece of clothing joined the pile that slung over your shoulder. You repositioned Cas so that he now stood directly in front of the mirror. 

“All right.” The coat was now in your hands as you moved behind him. You draped it over his shoulders, moving to his left side in order to guide where his arm needed to go so he could do the rest...

But that’s when your eyes found something on his upper arm.

There was a jagged slit in the material of his shirt. A dark, dryish, stain surrounded it, and contrasted with the original colour of the button up in a way that made it easy to see what shade the substance was before it had seeped through.

Red.

“Cas, is that...” You, gently, pushed him back round when he turned to face you, the coat slipping from his shoulders and almost landing on the floor until it recoiled in your grasp, “That’s-- Cas, that’s blood, what... What happened?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were injured?”

Castiel sort of crained his neck so that he could see over his shoulder. And then he spotted it. “Oh,” he spoke with such simplicity that had your eyebrows furrowing within seconds. “I... I must have forgot.”

“For--- How could you forget an injury like this?” you questioned immediately, and swung the trench coat over your shoulder. “If it’s bleeding like that, then... Cas, this most likely needs stitches.”

Your hands raised to his upper arm so that it could be properly inspected. “Do you even know how to clean a wound?”

As your fingers gently tested the surrounding area, trying to gage just how big this injury was. You realised that there had been no response to your previous ramble of questions.

Not a word.

So, while continuing your inspection, you let your eyes quickly flicker to Castiel’s face that was still aimed in your direction. Only to see that he was looking right back at you. That same fondness tugging at his features.

Your movements mildly froze for a second, your eyes flicking between the two oceans that seemed to flow to your soul. And then you sighed, forcing your focus back to wound with a new heat rising in your chest.

“All right, look,” You cleared your throat, “This... I’m going to fix this when we get back ho-- to the motel.” you insisted, taking a step back from Cas so that you could point a finger at him. “And you’re going to tell me everything that happened.”

“Everything.” you further insisted, and watched as Castiel sort of sighed before he nodded in understanding. “Okay.” he agreed.

Your head shook in an attempt to dismiss the amusement that still radiated off of Cas nevertheless. “Good.” you huffed, patting him on the back before retrieving the trench coat from your shoulder. “Now.”

“Actually try that on, and then we can figure out what else you need.”

~

Finally. After the shopping spree that was fit for a movie was completed, and night had officially claimed the sky. It was time to go home.

Piles of bags and boxes were shoved in the boot as well as onto some of the seats, meaning that by the time two bodies had flopped into their rightful places. The car was beyond full. “Right, so.”

“Got clothes, including a new coat, got shoes, got more food. And now…?” you listed off while your body leaned into the seat. Your fingers grasped the steering wheel while your eyes searched through the rearview mirror to find the other pair.

“We can go back to the motel.” Castiel confirmed, and a fresh feeling of relief flooded through your body, though you never showed it. “You know what? Good call.” Was the only thing you said before the car was started up.

The journey home had begun.

Light from streetlamps, still open stores and restaurants were the only things that illuminated the car. You had no idea what time it was, but for the first time in a while. You honestly didn’t care.

“Are you sure you’re alright sitting back there?” you questioned for like the third time, since before you even got in the car. “I completely forgot about the stuff I had in here already, I didn’t--”

“Y/n.” Cas spoke suddenly with the usual deep voice. Only this time it sounded more emphasised, due to his amusement at having yet another question to answer. “It’s alright.”

“You’ve done… more than enough for me today.” he continued once your eyes had found him again, the enjoyment in his voice turning into sincerity. “I think I can handle sitting in the back of a car for about 10 minutes.”

At least for a second.

“Okay, okay,” you huffed, letting out a slight laugh before properly focusing on the road ahead... Or trying to, “… For sure?”

“Yes.” 

Due to his response time, and due to the fact that you have been the one speaking the most throughout the whole day, a silence fell upon the car. It was comfortable. Calming.

The problem with that, however, was that when things went completely quiet around another person, your mind would become the most active.

So there you were, letting your fingers tap against the steering wheel. You started to bite at your bottom lip, and even tried to hum a song inside your head, all in an attempt to contain yourself.

But as soon as your brain went back to the fact that there was another living, breathing human in your presence.

“You warm enough back there?”

It beat you in this fight.

“I have multiple layers on.” Cas pointed out after a second, confusion audible in his voice. You simply shrugged, “I know, but… I mean, it was a little cold out. I was just… I was just wondering.”

“Well,” the man in the back paused, seeming to reposition himself as the sounds of plastic and paper bags echoed around your ears. And once he found the right spot, “I’m doing just fine.”

A deep breath seeped through your lungs, “Good. That’s... good, yeah.” you insisted, your mind pausing for only a moment so that you could turn onto another street, “Just-- You know. It gets a lot colder around this time of year.”

Castiel shuffled slightly, “Is that so?” His voice had a haze to it this time. It was a sound that went unbeknown to you, as you had been so distracted by thinking and driving. 

But if anyone else had heard, it would have been clear as day.

“Yep.” you confirmed with a nod of your head, though at this point, the person it was aimed at couldn’t see it. “In fact, it can make people more prone to getting sick-- There was this one time, like ages ago, where I went on a walk, at night, and forgot a jacket.”

Cas hummed in response.

A huff of air whistled through your lips at the recollection, “It was fine at first, but then... Man, it was a terrible time.”

He hummed again. More of a murmur this time.

“I had to run... Well, not run,” you interjected, “But... I had to jog super quick back to Bobby’s, and, oh man, he-- He was not... He called me the biggest idjit ever.” The memory came to a close in front of your eyes. 

All the images that you were flicking through had gone, and now you were left with an unwelcome reminder. “Yeah, no, it was... definitely not fun.” 

Your voice had quieted, the urge to speak, in comparison to earlier, dimming down by a lot. However, after spotting a passing sign, you had realised that the journey was close to the end.

“Hey, uh, Cas, do we... Do we need anything else before we get back?” you began after clearing your throat, making sure that you had a steady hand on the wheel, before attempting to meet the mans eyes through the rear view mirror. “Any essentials, or...”

There was no response.

“Anything?” you spoke again, thinking that he had just not heard.... 

But an answer never came. 

You peeled your eyes away from the dark route ahead, and grabbed onto the mirror when you realised that you couldn’t actually see Castiel in its position.

“Cas?”

You glanced to the road once again, making sure that you weren’t gonna drive off or more importantly hit someone, before they went straight back to look through the glass.

At this point, it was very dark in the car. The light, here, was only from street lamps, and even then, they were slightly spaced apart.

So, after the mirror had been lowered, and one of the lamps had illuminated the car as it passed by. You had finally got a glimpse of what lay amidst the darkness. 

A sight that had caught you by surprise.

Castiel had fallen asleep.

next

#castiel x reader #castiel #supernatural #castiel supernatural #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural x reader #supernatural x gender neutral reader #Castiel SPN #gender neutral reader #castiel x you

[stranded-labyrinth]

Hi, I find you terrifying to interact with but you're my favorite person on all of tumblr and I love your Hannibal content more than I love to breathe

would you be willing to recommend some hannigram fics you like? I adore everything you write about them, but that also means I read and re-read all of it many times so I wanted to check if maybe you'd share some recs

thank you and I love you're brilliant

first off, i love you SO much for this, and second, i'd be more than happy to provide fic recs!! it's been a while since my last list, so let me go through my bookmarks again :]

Kindness, I Suppose by McRibFarewellTour

"Disturbed by the way his manipulations have panned out, Will decides to abjure both Hannibal's plan and Jack's and invents one of his own. Deep conversations, torturing Hannibal with low-class accommodations, and Will hyperfixating on the history of New Orleans, all with the well-loved backdrop of a forced road trip."

i actually was just finishing this one as i went to answer your ask, and oh my god, i am in love with this fic. McRibFarewellTour is a fairly new AO3 author, but i've loved everything they've made

You're Looking Like I Feel by McRibFarewellTour

"Will’s been out of prison for a week, and Hannibal still hasn’t heard from him. Needless to say, he does not find this acceptable and decides to take action."

one of the best depictions of Will having a perfect idea for revenge on Hannibal that i've seen yet. it combines ideas we've all had for the best way for him to truly hurt Hannibal, with something new that i haven't seen from anything else yet. heed the tags!

That Which Has Been Ignored by virtuous_contract

"Behind him, Hannibal’s breathing is barely audible. Always so damn composed. Or perhaps Hannibal is really asleep? Perhaps the touch is only accidental? It’s the soft pad of a thumb on the back of his neck and the tips of loosely curled fingers stirring his curls more than resting against his skin. Shouldn’t he hate it? Or at the very least, fear it? Deep down he feels something else entirely. Relief of some undefined kind that he fiercely pushes away and refuses to acknowledge. It’s too embarrassing. He can’t be that person. Can’t be that weak."

a delightful touch-starved and maybe even shy post-fall Will on the run with Hannibal, going from hotel to hotel. lots of pining. i shan't say more, just know it's currently one of my favorite one shots.

to swallow smoke by ghostforwhat

"After all that, he had just needed a little release. A quick stop at a gas station on the way here had easily produced what he was searching for; a soft pack of cigarettes now bulging in his shirt pocket, hidden from the downpour as he ducks under the small awning over the office door."

how could i not include this one? part one already had me romanticizing things i should likely never romanticize, and part two extended that tenfold. it's something you need to experience. if you don't fare well with smut, at least read part one.

oh, to be the life and soul will be the death of me by Serindrana

huge fic description that's a passage from the fic, but this is essentially a one shot that combines mutual pining with Will discovering that Hannibal is indeed The Chesapeake Ripper...in the middle of one of Hannibal's dinner parties.

to the victor go the spoils by zipegs

8.9k word smut one shot that follows a dinner at Hannibal's between him, Alana, and Will, in which Alana leaves when she can no longer abide the tension. a very bitter Will ends up taking things in quite some direction, using a very particular sort of power in lieu of revenge, while also ensnaring himself in the very net he attempts to catch Hannibal in.

Small Repairs by Devereauxs_Disease

"It started with a clogged drain. Will put himself in a position to rescue Hannibal's dinner party, hoping to ingratiate himself to the good doctor as he gathered evidence. What he didn't anticipate was how much fun it was to fix things for Hannibal Lecter. In return, Hannibal offered to act as a cooking tutor for Will Graham, talking him through making dinner nearly every night. Are small home repairs really enough to fix what's been broken between these two?"

as always, i love their work. there's a particular scene i love near the end that i won't spoil, but i'll say that it has to do with Will having a very particular way to notice Hannibal's vulnerability, even from afar :]

A Sepulchre in This Kingdom by petrodactyl352

"The first time Hannibal meets Death, he is eight years old."

how could i not include the fic based on my own prompt? a delightful gift <3 i'm still obsessed with this concept even now

Hidden Potential by sourweather

"The first time you make eye contact with your soul mate, you see a vision of their greatest accomplishment. They call it your Peak. Unfortunately for Will Graham, his soul mate's Peak is a vision of blood and horror. Fortunately for Hannibal Lecter, his soul mate's is too."

a very particular kind of soulmate AU, and i was on the edge of my seat nearly every chapter wanting to see where everything would go. as usual, sourweather does NOT disappoint :]

touch me, i'm cold (unable to control) by Naomi_Riddle

"Dr. Hannibal Lecter lacks nothing. He’s definitely not lonely, and he’s certainly not touch-starved. And he absolutely, positively doesn’t have a thing for Will Graham. So when Abigail Hobbs is discharged from the Port Haven Psychiatric Facility, he suggests that she should move in with him - and so should Will. It’s only fair, as they’re both her legal guardians. A domestic, fluffy little fic of touch-starved down bad Hannibal Lecter, oblivious Will Graham, and sassy Abigail Hobbs who conspires to get her gay dads together. Featuring Winston and Company."

this one is still ongoing, and it's the one i look forward to the absolute most currently when it comes to fics updating. i've seen mutual pining domestic vibes with these two, obviously, but placing it so early on and including the adoption of Abigail just scratches an itch i didn't know i had in my brain.

and with that, i think i've met where i ended off last time i recommended stuff from my bookmarks :] hope you enjoy!

[sorcerous-caress]

sorry if this is annoying but why don’t you like astarion?

Hey it's alright, it doesn't sound annoying and I'm happy to answer.

I like Astarion, I actually love Astarion a lot. He was the sole reason I bought the game in early access and learned DnD mechanics, i have never played a game like Baldur's Gate 3 before.

A detailed overview below bc I love talking.

I saw a tiktok, thought he looked hot and he is an elf that's a bonus and I installed the game thinking it will like the witcher where you waltz around sleeping with any hot person.

I was severally wrong. I was so blind to his manipulation ingame at the first act because I was too focused on sleeping with him. And when act 2 came and he confessed how he truly felt, It was like a waking up slap to the face.

But i managed to move on yk? Bury it and keep playing the game. Part of me still hoped there will be some hot scenes in the future and this is just a stepping stone.

Again, I was very wrong. When the Cazador fight came and Astarion had to face all the people in the cages, when he tells you that you would've just as easily been one of them. It made me leave the game, stop playing for a week despite how big the hype was since I was at the end of it.

I just felt disgusted with myself, it made me feel very uncomfortable how I used to precive him, how he encouraged it. Especially since I resonated with his storyline, I myself have been in a relationship where someone only used me for sex, it hit deeper to home than I could've imagined.

Which is why I don't do nsfw requests of him, it feels too inappropriate. The wound is still fresh and I can't do it without sacrificing my self respect because of how I saw myself in Astarion.

His ascended treatment of us, it was everything my act 1 self wanted out of him in terms of powerful hot vampire craving you, but to the current me, it felt unimaginably gross.

His writers are amazing, you get to know him throughout the game. You are a witness to how clumsy he is with romance, how reluctant he is with sex when he gets the choice. You see the 180° flip and know this is someone else wearing his skin.

But I have zero problems with other people writing his nsfw. It's not a holier than thou deal where it's sfw or bust. Just because something isn't my preference it doesn't mean I can police people about it.

And I did read nsfw Astarion stuff a lot before, before I reached act 3.

Maybe my opinion will change one day and I'll go back to taking his nsfw requests, maybe it won't. It doesn't really matter, there are a lot of talented and good writers who make nsfw works for him and I'm happy for their existence.

-

As for why I don't write solo pieces for him in general? Well I only have so much free time and inspiration to write with, and Astarion has a chokehold on both the writers and artists of this fandom. He probably has more works under his name than Wyll, Halsin, Minthara and Karlach combined.

There is a lot of Astarion content, it feels like everything has been explored already. Every idea pushed to the limit then flipped, every concept fullfilled.

I only write for him when someones requests it, or when I feel like I have something new to say that no one did before. Like my only story about him posted "to dance with you."

I much rather explore the characters that no one paid much attention to like Wyll, Minthara etc. Npcs too.

Astarion is very loved by the fandom, he will be fine.

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My third point is that he can get too loved by the fandom, borderline obsessively so by certain groups.

Part of the reason why I didn't write for Astarion at all at the start of the blog, and why I'm still hesitant to write about him is because I don't want to interact with his fanbase.

Take your ask for example, i won't assume malice anon, I hope you just sent this out of curiosity.

But literally no other characters fanbase would ask this. I'm one of Minthara's biggest simp and if i thought someone didn't like her, I'd be like "understandable, have a nice day."

For so long I have been slandering Gale and bashing on him, and yet never received a single ask about why I dislike it. Which I don't for thr record i just like bullying him.

But it only took a single Astarion slander post, that wasn't truly about him, for someone to ask this.

I thought it was a hehe haha joke at the start when everyone was talking about how much better he is than the others, how they can't even imagine romancing someone else. When they called the game Astarion dating simulator.

It wasn't a joke. Larian got the most spam and hate reports to fix Astarion's kissing but while Minthara's whole romance is still broken.

I saw a tweet that mentioned how some Astarion fans act like araj oblodra in moonrise tower, the drow that wants him to bite her, and they're really spot on.

He might as well be second coming of Edward Cullen. People are writing paragraphs upon paragraphs in response to every small joke about him and how he approves morally bad stuff? Spinning a false narrative that he wouldn't hurt a fly that he is a sweet little bean that needs to be protect but also he is super loyal and would only want their blood?

Which yeah i get the irony of since I am writing paragraphs upon paragraphs of me complaining about it, and to that i say, shut up :"(

I hate how watered down he is, I hate how artists draw him romanticly thin and hollow. I hate how forgotten his trauma is unless it's time to baby him. I hate the wrinkles removing mods, I hate the ereasing of his flaws and I hate how they run up to the voice actor to confirm their headcanons.

His voice actor is great, even amazing. But he is still a stranger and you shouldn't ask him nsfw questions, you should keep it respectful and still admire his other works, not just flood him about Astarion.

But maybe I'm wrong, i won't pretend I know what his voice actor feels. But I hope the Astarion fanbase aren't being weird to him.

And let's be honest, Cazador is just as bad as all the other evil characters in this game. Gortash, Ketheric and Orin probably commited more bad stuff than him, yet he is the single unpopular evil guy.

Can you guess why? Does him being tied to hurting the beloved golden goose of the fandom ring any bells?

Mizora hurts Wyll, Gortash sold Karlach, Viconia abused Shadowheart. Yet all of them are seen as evil but loved, while liking Cazador bc of how much of a fucked up character he is, gets you blocked.

That's why I include him in my works, there is no content for him, but also so it weirds out any hardcore Astarion fan and they leave my blog.

Man, I talked a lot. I hope that answered you anon, again no hate for you if you happen to be one of the hard-core Astarion fans. You do you and I do me, i genuinely wish the best for you <3 at the end of the day they're just fictional characters and can't be hurt, but you and me are real people with real feelings.

#♡Astarion #♡character study #♡Astarion slander

[laf-outloud]

Did you see Jared talking about discussing things with writers for a reboot today? Do you think that will happen?

Since I received a few different asks (with varying degree of interest, lol), all about the reboot discussion from HonCon, I thought I'd combine them and share my thoughts about what Jensen and Jared shared.

Now, the main panel didn't really have anything substantative in regards to when a reboot might happen or what it might be about so I'm mostly basing my thoughts on the Gold panel (which you can view here.)

(Side note: The English teacher mention was just referencing the attendee who asked the last question because she actually was a student of Jared's mom.)

The question (starting at 29:31) was basically asking about how the scenes would play out between Sam and Dean in Heaven, post 15x20, when Sam tells Dean about Dean Jr., and then later Sam's anticipation and reunion (and meeting his Uncle) when Dean Jr. joins them in Heaven. Here's their response:

Jared: "I will say, un, not to try and dodge it, but I hope... I have some ideas, and I hope now that the writers are back, and actors are back, that we all get to see it together."

Jensen: "We get to see those scenes played out in real life?" shrug "Wait, what?... Yeah, (?) stay tuned on that."

Jared: "Yeah, yes."

Jensen: "There's some conversations regarding that conversation that are being had."

So, I know they've talked reboot before, and usually it's pretty vague... "putting the boots back on" kind of stuff. Here, Jared does dodge the question, which was very specific. If, what I'm thinking, actually sees fruition, @lol-jackles should ask for a writing credit, because he's shared this idea before!

Basically (and I'm not a mind-reader so this is just my opinion), I think they're looking at the possibility of doing a post-15x20 series that centers around Dean Jr. with Sam and Dean popping in as side characters. And I think that for a couple of different reasons. One, is, like I mentioned, Jared's dodge of a very specific post-15x20 question. The second, if you go earlier in the panel (around 9:40), Jared is still talking about hanging up the acting boots and moving behind the scenes to tell stories. I don't think he wants to go back to the grind of SPN as a lead. I think he knows that a successful reboot requires both Sam and Dean, but I imagine they would be there in a limited capacity as a way of handing over the baton to the next generation.

Now, you may say that Jensen already tried that and failed with The Winchesters so why would they do another series where Sam and Dean's roles were limited? Well, I think TW had other issues besides the lack of Sam that helped doom the show, not the least of which was an inexperienced production team. With Jared on board as an EP, which he's proven he can do successfully, he'd have power over the story, the casting, hiring the writers, etc. that could give a reboot a better chance.

Of course, it still sounds like they're in the earliest stages, even though they've had three years to think about it, and who knows what the industry will look like in the next few years. As Jared and Jensen shared in the main panel, if Supernatural had aired it's first season this last year, it would have been canceled because of all the changes the industry is going through.

Personally, I don't know if a reboot will ever see the light of day, regardless of how much Jared and Jensen may want it. There's so many obstacles they'd have to get through, including studio support. (And let's be honest, the WB is not in a good place right now.) Final answer... who knows! LOL!

Anyway, those are my thoughts. I hope you didn't mind waiting, but this was something that I wanted to respond to thoughtfully, instead of a quick glib answer. (Partly because the glib answers end up with tinhatters in my inbox, lol!)

#ask box #spn reboot speculation #jared padalecki #jensen ackles #ce honcon 2023 #anti spn prequel #j2 gold panel #j2 main panel #long post