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skitskatdacat63 · 7 months

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Boy King AU | Vettonso + Martian | 1.3k

There's something about putting the future emperor of the Holy Realm on his knees like this. About how easily he goes, how willingly, how obediently. What would his adoring public think if they could see him now. If they saw their beloved king pressed down like this, in the cramped space between Fernando's legs. When they realized their little boy king took it like he was a little concubine instead.

Fernando's bitterness is lifted away in moments like these, like taking off a heavy cloak on a winter's day. It was hard to feel humiliated about his own situation when watching Sebastian debase himself like this.

He always gives himself up so easily. When Fernando threaded his fingers through his thick curls. When he pulled them, and then when he pressed his face down further down into the vee of his legs. Sebastian rubbed his cheek into the coarse fabric of Fernando's breeches and blinked up at him. Fernando had to smother an embarrassing sound; he was just like a little cat!

Sebastian quirked his lips up into an odd little smile and slightly rose up on his knees, "What's funny?" Fernando swallowed lightly and schooled his face back into being impassive, "Nothing. As you were." Sebastian simply smirked at him and let himself be pushed back down by the fist clenched in his hair.

Fernando scoffed internally, there was only so much pleasure in putting the other man in his place when he instead acted like this, this degrading action, was his birthright. He took to ruling and indulging in carnal pleasures as if they were of equal gravity. To be privileged to hold such high station and also let himself be taken apart like this…Fernando felt embarrassed for him.

He is dragged away from his musings when Sebastian moved to settle his hands in Fernando's lap, clutching his hips over the fabric and slightly squeezing; Fernando fought against the urge to shiver. Sebastian pushed up the skirt of Fernando's waistcoat and smoothed his hands over the opening flap of his breeches.

His eyes darted up at Fernando again, a daft smile on his face. Fernando scowled at him, "What?" Seb's grin sharpened, "You could stand to be a little more gracious. This is your future emperor, and future husband might I add, kneeling for you on this dirty, depraved, derelict- ah–" Fernando tugged on his hair again and hissed, "Well then, why don't you show me how eager you are to perform your marital duties?"

Seb licked his lips, completely unconcerned by Fernando's annoyance, and unbuttoned one side of the closure to Fernando's breeches and moved to open the other–

The door to the carriage flew open, arrival announcement dying on a wheezing breath as the servant took in the image the two kings made. One splayed across the seat, exuding power, the other kneeled, debauched, between the former's legs.

One would be hard pressed to determine which was higher on the totem of power and titles.

There was something gratifying about this to Fernando, about being caught. He had been humiliated enough throughout the entire courtship, what was one more thing? And, certainly, what was one more thing if he could drag Sebastian down into the dirt with him.

"Oh Mark, don't act so abashed! It's nothing you haven't seen before, in fact, we have been in this very position not even a fortnight ago!"

Oh. Yes. That.

It was hard to be completely pleased when he remembered how Sebastian had already spent years prior to their engagement sampling the palace's ample selection of fellow high-born men. And how all those men seemed to be completely and utterly wrapped around his little finger.

Fernando released his hand from Sebastian's hair as if it had burned him. He did not understand why he felt ashamed with Mark looking in on them like this. Fernando was the one marrying Sebastian, not Mark; Mark was just a lowly courtier who had the esteemed duty of spending practically every waking hour with the brat…something he himself was decidedly not looking forward to.

Sebastian stayed kneeling, staring impassively up at Mark, still fiddling with the clasp on Fernando's breeches. Fernando gritted his teeth and looked up from where he was watching Sebastian's clever little hands; Mark stared back at him placidly.

Mark's indifference made the entire situation worse. Fernando now felt as if he was not doing anything unique, not doing anything particularly new. How many other men had Mark caught Seb with in this exact position? Fernando felt like he was just another plaything of the boy king, soon to be boy emperor, except his position was forever, permanent. He was the "Kept King", the king who only kept his throne due to the whims of a boy who doesn't even understand what power is.

Mark coughed, "Well," he says, "Your Majesty, I do believe you have a meeting to attend." Seb pouted at him and whined, "We were just getting to the main course," but still braced himself on Fernando's thighs and got up off the carriage floor.

Seb pranced down the steps Mark had placed next to the carriage, miming tripping sown the stairs, snickering when his action made Mark reflexively reach out to grab him, and then playfully skipped off the final step.

Fernando couldn't help but stare as Mark made the weirdest grimace in response, and he inexplicably felt all his mortification seep away from him. Huh. Maybe Mark is-

Seb then turned around and frowned at him, seemingly disappointed, but his eyes are deceivingly sharp, "Fernando, I regret to inform you that I have other duties I must attend to, you will simply have to wait." He then grinned up at Mark next to him and giggled as the other man stiffened when Sebastian looped both of his arms through Mark's.

He leaned all his weight on the other man, Mark not so much as shifting his weight, "Oh Mark, won't you carry me back to the palace? I'm so very tired after all the horse riding," Seb looked up at him imploringly.

Fernando observed as Mark rolled his eyes and shrugged off the man, though notably not pulling his arm from Seb's grasp, and he got the distinct feeling that this exact scene had been played out countless times before.

Fernando clenched his jaw as he watched Seb turn and saunter off, Mark trotting alongside him like a loyal dog. Fernando was supposed to be the unaffected one in this partnership, the unflustered one, the unconcerned one. And yet here he stood, in broad daylight, in a foreign kingdom, on the steps of a carriage with his breeches half unbuttoned and his cravat in disarray.

He heard a cough from beside him, jolted and looked to the side. Sebastian's loyal Horse Master stood there, lounging against the side of the carriage. Fernando had forgotten who had even been driving the carriage in the first place. After Seb has let himself be pushed down, his hair still windswept from their ride together, everything else seemed to fade away. His thoughts were reduced only to how he could mess up the younger man's hair further.

Jenson grinned at him wolfishly, and casually crossed his legs, "First time?" he inquired. Fernando glared at him. The other man laughed openly at him, "What? He's a busy man with big prospects. You're not his majesty's only conquest, you know. Now your throne on the other hand…"

Fernando seethed, it was one thing to be humiliated by the future emperor, but to be patronized by the king's horse boy? No. It would simply not do. He closed his eyes in annoyance, pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaled, and prepared a speech about how he was not about to be talked down to by a man who didn't even have a throne to speak of!

But when he opened his eyes again and opened his mouth to begin his tirade, Jenson was already wandering away to tend to the horses. Dios mío, Fernando was not mentally prepared to spend the rest of his life with all of these impertinent morons.

#i love how i kept saying to people: no no i shant write any fic for this. only art.#me like two weeks later: hey guys :)#this is just: i was sitting in class and had a drawing idea but then im obv not drawing *this* in class so my brain went into narrative mod #not exactly 'baby's first ficlet!!!' but moreso ive not written in a while so i hope its alright???#but aaahhh this was actually pretty fun!! idk i think it was bcs i was also being brainrotted by the image of seb kneeling....#maybe ill draw it. but it felt like something that needed the context of narrative and not just oo here is a drawing!#anyways you can always ask me for a directors cut-(PLEASE PLEAE BEGGING PLEASE)#see this is why im not cut out for writing fic #its not like i dont think it can speak for itself. more that im just an overly reflective person who wants to explain all my thoughts #if i wrote fic itd really be just: chapter 1. chapter 1.5 chapter 2. chapter 2.5 #anyways i think its pretty obvious but this is before their wedding and just like peak bitterness.#well not peak. peak would be the first year- first few months of their marriage #but this is fernando who is only just realizing how naive all his expectations of seb were and getting a glimpse of his future #but mostly: mindgames and power play and: whos actually really winning?#also my god jense is literally the best chara in this au. he is vibing and basically just witnessing ye olde reality tv #mark and fernando are always in a weird powerplay with seb(even if seb isnt even consiously doing so) and jense is just free from it all #hmm now how does one go about tagging fic #vettonso #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #f1 #formula 1 #martian #sebmark #also idk why im always so concerned abt tagging when im basically just writing this for my little boy king following i have somehow formed #hahaha! it is art to me!:#catie.art.#boy king au

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tittyinfinity · 4 months

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people without food texture issues act like people with food texture issues can just suddenly get over them by a certain age and are soooo surprised whenever you say that you can't eat [X food] for the 25th year in a row

#just had to say ''i'm 28 years old. i don't need another adult scolding me about how to eat my food.''#you know how much I'd LOVE if I could eat chunky foods like onions and peppers?#i use onion powder and other seasonings instead of the full veggies bc i love the flavor but not the texture #I DO LIKE THOSE FOODS!! Just not how it feels in my mouth!!!#i have been explaining this since the day I was able to talk #in fact one of my first memories is them forcing me to eat chunky stuff and me vomiting it right back up on my dad #and every time I eat chunky food I think of that moment even tho i was like 3 #i was old enough to talk but was in a high chair so yeah I was around 2-3 years old and I still have that vivid memory #.bdo

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legofemme · 3 months

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Vani writing tips + personal thoughts that noone asked for but you will be hearing

1: longer is Not always better. If youre telling a story, then your audience doesnt need 3 pages worth of side material. If youre writing to genuinely draw in an audience and tell a story then you need to not treat it like a game where the goal is to get the highest wordcount possible. You should be treating yourself And your audience with respect and making sure the words you use make an impact rather than trying to fill empty space. Brevity is your friend

2: if you need to make a clarification that your work doesnt endorse what your protagonist is doing, or needs to clarify that the protagonist is a Bad Person, then youre not mature enough to be writing that material. At best it shows that you dont understand the nuances of writing villain protagonists, and at worst it looks like you think your audience is too stupid to understand that saying slurs is a bad thing.

3: you cannot attempt to break the rules of writing if you dont understand them in the first place. You arent douglas adams. You arent Mark Danielewski. You need to stop and learn how to use a semicolon and a hyphen and how different words help describe things before you try to make a thousand word 'stray from traditional storytelling' . At the very least learn the basics from a youtube video

4: YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO WRITE DIALOGUE EVEN IF ITS BAD. You cannot dodge around dialogue by just having back and forth phrases in quotation marks. And no marker you use to differentiate speakers is going to be anywhere close to just using "he said" or even "he yelled". Youre robbing yourself of crucial storytelling materials. Even if you dont want to learn every part of how to write you Need to learn how to do dialogue or your entire story is going to crumble

#vani verbals #reblogs turned off just cuz i dont feel like seeing this shared everywhere.#peoples opinions on what good writing tips are vary and i dont want someone adding onto or subtracting from my points #but these are just basic things that i notice early writers do. none of it is bad. and you get better with practice #but at the same time. as a reader some of these things really frustrate me. i dont like reading a 10k fic that couldve been 4k if it wasnt #full of random shit that doesnt belong there. i dont like struggling to read 'dialogue' because the person who wrote it doesnt know how #i dont like having a characters actions explained to me because the author assumes im a tiktok using 14 year old who doesnt know what #nuance or critical thinking are. new writers need to understand that even as a new writer there are things they need to do to make their #audience enjoy the work. again im all for new writers! i love it! but you need basic knowlege /with/ that practice yknow #AAANYWAY . just some of my thoughts #feel free 2 leave ur takes in the replies btw i want 2 hear what u guys think. just not in a reblog where it could explode and get annoying

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fate-defiant · 1 year

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i have two, no three fancomics in me rn and it's rotten work it's such rotten work

#ill fucking do it but christ alive #do you know how frustrating it is that nowhere on the internet. NOWHERE ON THE INTERNET CAN I FIND A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO--#--.......any folk clothing really #like listen. everytime i look up that shit its either #1) photos of folk dancers wearing STAGE COSTUMES. its a start but it aint it #(though i did give in eventually cos eeeehhhhh it fits narratively kinda?? you'll see before i am dead i hope)#2) old and grainy photos where you cant make out the fucking details #and that's not even scratching the surface like #EXPLAIN ALL THE LAYERS TO ME. DON'T JUST LIST WHAT CLOTHIGN ARTICLES ARE WORN TELL ME WHICH IS WHICH. SHJOW ME THE ORDER #HOW IS THAT SHIT TIED WHAT CLASS/MARITAL STATUS/RELIGIOUS GROUP DOES THAT INDICATE WHAT OCCASION #IS THERE LIKE A NONO? IS THERE A NONO FOR CERTAIN PATTERNS AND COLORS? BITCH TELL ME #TELL ME ALL THE DETAILS I NEED THEM I DONT WANNA DIG AROUND THE INTERNET FOR BOOKS #ALSO WHY. WHY ARE THERE FASHION HISTORY BOOKS WITH BARELY ANY PICTURES #YOU ARE DISCUSSING A VISUAL MEDIUM! V I S U A L!!!!!!!#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #also did you know izmir turkey has a long and messy and fascinating history. like 4000 years. Goddamn #fate.txt #off topic

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greyias · 1 year

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Tagged by: @captainderyn -- thank you for the tag! Tagging: @meanbihexual, @keldae, @queen-scribbles (no pressure!) From the little au that could...

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Valkorion had looked down at his progeny with ill-disguised contempt, lightning dancing at the tips of his fingers as he attempted to silence what he saw as the only threat in the room. He didn’t even look up until the cold barrel of a blaster buried itself at the base of his skull.

Which brought Theron back to where he wasn’t supposed to be.

Here.

Standing in someone else’s moment, stepping into a destiny that wasn’t his, and about to set into motion a cascade of events he had no hope of understanding. He was a disgraced spy. A Jedi washout. The Force-blind son of someone else’s greatness. A man always destined to live in the shadow of others.

“Do you really think that pathetic toy will hurt me?”

#thank you for the tag!#i haven't written much in the way of new words #but i finally carved out some time and brainpower on thurs/fri to actually do a breakdown on the internal arc #going chapter by chapter #making embarrassing notes as if i was explaining internal motivations to a five year old #but i think it helped?#because chapters 2 and 3 felt very flat when i started editing them #so i kind of have an idea of maybe a way to spruce up the internal narrative so it's got a bit more oomph to it #another snippet from the first chapter that's been written for over five years #the only one that's really ready for prime time #me sitting on my hands to not just start posting it #my new promise to myself is i have to at least get the first draft to the swamp #let's see how well i keep that promise ;)#(hopefully better than theron does in this dang thing)#(because after spending my time so deep in character analysis my god he's a mess in this)#(like moreso than usual)#outlander!theron au #(me having to change the au tag because this is what i keep typing when i don't remember)#greywip #six sentence sunday #sunday six

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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...

#ay ay ay. now that the soul crushing project is done ive elected to spend the week managing data #which is decidedly more chill than what ive been doing for the last month but also isnt not doing anything and it isnt getting stuff done #for when i have to move. so thats annoying. and ive been drawing again at least but i can feel the escalation in my controlling behavior #so its now very frustrating trying to draw anything. coloring is gonna take a million years rip.#also suddenly everyone wants to b social rn? like tomorrow my boss is organizing a thing with an old lab mate and this weekend a #collaborator is having a retirement party. and next week my lab mates wanna do a trivia night. and i kno that i should go to these things.#and i will try but i really dont want to go to any of it. mostly for driving reasons but also im a husk of a person rn. but the more #devastating thing is that uh next week one of the kids i grew up with is getting married to a rich girl lol. and like we werent that close #bc i was and am such an asocial freak but after the wedding my parents r picking up their new camper and camping their way across the #country with my sisters. and im sure someone probably told me the dates of these things at some point but if u tell me dates i will #instantly forget them. so thats. ya kno. happening over basically the next 2 weeks while i have to kill myself over measurements for a #different study i dont care abt. and like. its fine. ill see them mid may for a different planned trip. it just makes me kinda sad #a product of living halfway across the country i guess. im just inherently more disconnected to everyone. i would suspect thsts semi #intentional subconsciously. u cant b upset abt not being able to connect with ppl if you create enough physical distance that u never see #them in the 1st place. u cant misunderstand me if i make myself absent and unknowable. idk. i was explaining to my mum that i didnt realize #the timeline and she was like. understandable whatever u wanna do! and idk y that upsets me so much. i guess its just that i dont want to b #doing this. its causing me pain but dont kno how to articulate it in a way that makes sense. whatever. my mouth hurts. my lips r so chapped #that the irritation is spread past my lip line. probably doesnt help thst i keep rubbing at it lol. anyway things r still annoying #less soul crushing thsn last week but still frustrating #unrelated

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hilsoncrater · 8 months

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so. i guess i have to go to urgent care tomorrow. & show the doctor my lab results. & try to get in for a cancer screening that way

#jesus fucking christ.#my aunt (who works in the medical field) saw my lab results bc i showed them to her #and she went 'they didnt refer you to a specialist? they didnt call you?'#and i had to explain that no they didnt bc they told me to lose weight instead #but like. i dont know how my weight correlates to my red blood cell count & other results #they referred me to a dermatologist for cancer screening because of my moles #booked that appointment and guess what. earliest was DECEMBER #b R U V #anyway if i end up getting diagnosed with leukemia i'm going back in time to 15 year old me #and telling her she is psychic. bc when i was 15 i had this gut feeling i had developed bipolar & 5 years later i got diagnoses with it #around the same time i speculated abt the bipolar i also speculated i may have some chronic form of leukemia #bc i would get these red dot patches on my arms + my doc at the time told me i had severe anemia #but they blamed the anemia on my insanely heavy periods + the lethargy on my Teen Angst™️#but i just had this sinking feeling there was more to it #& now 9 years later i feel like my body is shutting down + dying and i have lab results that prove 1) my liver is FUCKED and #2) my red blood count is FUCKED #and 3) my cholestrol is FUCKED #god if i actually do have blood cancer i'm going to scream

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larrythefloridaman · 2 years

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google :)

love u goog <3

#to explain the dotted squares: Why Are You A Redhead When You Are Bing's Clone.#and the other is like. lets get one thing straight i love goog to death everything in season 2? wouldnt change a damn thing #but i feel like the susan thing was resolved too quickly. and his relationship with mac has gone. underaddressed.#goog was raised by dr. order and i love that he defects right away when shown a first glimmer of something more meaningful #it works well to demonstrate the point that kindness is what we're. as people. most naturally drawn to when circumstance allows for it #but i think how easy it ultimately comes to him even when that's challenged by his personal hurt later kinda. cheapens it a bit?#kindness is easy but its also very hard sometimes when we are faced with the desire or need to protect ourselves from being hurt #and susan letting goog get his catharsis from attacking her even though it wasnt Her her that hurt him #is something i feel should've left him feeling a bit more. conflicted a bit longer. the resolution was sweet but not fully earned imo?#and then theres mac. your little brother almost kills you in cold blood chasing the same meaningless victory you were raised to achieve #and then just. befriends your platonic partner's little sister and becomes part of the family while changing very little of his outlook #just changing who he answers to because he got his ass kicked. and you're just supposed to feel fucking NORMAL about that???????#idk just think google should get to bite people and be dysfunctional a little more he was raised by doctor order hes not even two years old #he's a shonen protagonist with anxiety but the anxiety doesn't even really interfere meaningfully with anything narratively best i remember #machi has the excuse of being baby to explain why he's so innocent and even he's distinctly self-centered at times #google is a grown man and chooses kindness every day after he got out of there #and that rules. but id like to see him struggle with it just a LIL more #a bit too much of a perfect victim after he gets out for my taste. i had a similar problem with adora in she-ra #lots of not having a frame of reference for a different normal than theirs but always choosing the Right™ thing to do the first time anyway #but thats a mild 'show dont tell'-y writing gripe #its been a good bit since i watched the eps referenced so my feelings might change when i get to them in my rewatch #i simply think meeting a version of your shitty mom that's largely the same but not shitty should make you feel. a lot of different ways #and we didnt really get to see goog wrestle with that after finding out susan wasnt Really her and i think thats kind of a shame #and i dont remember if mac and goog have even shared any screentime after that time Mac Injured Him Terribly with plus ultra

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themechaneer · 2 years

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🔧

#‟ i am but a sensitive pillar of salt ” || ooc #so consider me on a semi hiatus?? sort of???#I’m not gonna be acting or doing much of anything that I haven’t already been but I will probably be a bit quieter than normal for a bit #at least till I’ve had a chance to talk to some friends for perspective and think some things out and make some decisions #that will ultimately effect Joel how I write him and probably the future of this blog #i do wanna say some of this is stuff I’ve been thinking about since Joel’s conception 2 years ago #but some of it has been influenced by stuff I’ve been witness to recently and the behavior of others both good and bad #to that end I’m not upset at anyone no one who follows me here or who I talk to regularly should feel worried they’ve done something wrong #i promise you YOU HAVENT. really no one has done anything WRONG exactly it’s more like I’ve realized i maybe don’t vibe as well with #certain things and behaviors or tolerate them as well as I used to think I did/could #also I might just be getting old and grouchy and therefore way more selective with who I have patience for and want to interact with #anyways—— I’ll definitely make a proper post later to explain things a bit better once I’ve talked to people and had time to consider some #stuff and make those decisions I was speaking about. regardless though I wanted to give a heads up and say that some changes are on the way #mostly minor in the grand scheme of things but still significant in others 💚#also *blows kisses and gives you all garlic bread* I hope every single one of you is having a fantastic timezone #i love you all and your patience with my nonsense means the world to me 🥺🥰💚

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elftwink · 2 years

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was writing a big long post about gender but then i remembered i don’t really care if people on this website understand or relate to how i articulate my own experiences w/gender which freed me from writing several paragraphs explaining myself and instead give you all the sparksnotes version. anyway i always feel one of the odd parts about my transition is that i was a young girl and i’m a grown man, but i have been neither a young boy nor a grown woman. so i always think it’s weird when i’m expected to have some insights on womanhood like do you want outside observations or the incomplete extrapolations of a 12 year old girl because those are the options. if you want something else you should ask a woman. and if you want the latter you should actually ask a 12 year old girl i havent been one of those in ages ive probably forgotten most of it

#good idea generator #watched princess diaries 2 last night and i have been struck w/idealized slumber party dreams from age idk 11 #not that i ever actually had an idealized slumber party i actually had significant problems that made me real unpleasant at sleepovers #i was oversensitive and did not have good emotional regulation and nights where i could keep it together #it was a lot of work and i would have a meltdown as soon as i got home in the morning lol #my mom would be like 'im not going to let you go on sleepovers if you're going to react like this every time'#and that made me so mad because i knew i wanted to go and enjoyed going and hanging w/friends #and i knew she was interpreting the like snapping and isolating and crying as some sort of outburst w/a purpose #and i was like i do not know how to explain to you that i cannot help doing this i don't know whats wrong and i cannot stop #tbh not sure how that problem got solved. i suppose i just suppressed it probably. and got slightly better at social gatherings #like i can go longer before feeling like that and i'm significantly better and stepping out to self-regulate if i need #and otherwise like. not blowing up at people who did not do anything wrong. love being 12 #i also don't know if this is regular 12 year old behaviour bc on the one hand def people thought i was Being Weird #to the point where i think that's why i was able to stop. hated being Weird more than anything else #but also then i think back to my friends who were also 12 and they were not well adjusted either. due to being 12

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faultsofyouth · 2 years

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You Must Learn To Let Go

#my posts #atla #'letting go' what does that mean? in the end it is about a very old story. in the end it is about death. about loss #ok i really should delete the atla tag this has nothing to do with avatar but its what the guru says in season 2!!#and i think its so well done bc this is death for children. this is How To Cope With Grief for children #but u cant Talk about death on a kids show and you cant Explain seperation and emotional decay to Children #but u can build a foundation 4 them. kids will see that episode and wonder 'why did aang have to let go? why Is it a good thing to let go?'#and they will go years and years and not understand but then they will. everyone will understand loss sooner or later #to be able to let go of that Attachment- that Need for another person- is the only way to move on #the only way to heal and live some sort of happy life after the really important things are gone forever #theres no way to explain that to a child but i think its good for people to start thinking about death young tbh #it shouldnt be a surprise. i was very sad when i learned about death for the first time #but its important. its an inevitable sadness. people should be able to face it. no one should be blindsided by it

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iamthescalesofjustice · 2 years

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i definitely share the problem many people have of whats in my head vastly outpacing what ive actually written, but i sort of have the opposite problem with other parts of the creative process bc the thing is when i do actually write its never so much bc i sit down to write, more like the ideas that have been pressurizing finally burst forth in a chaotic torrent that drags me into a fuguelike state where there is nothing but feverishly getting the words out with minimal mind to editing or organization and eventually after at least several hours i surface and find myself with like 8k new words of writing to sort through, and hope the spell is broken rather than being only a brief window of lucidity bc it wont properly be done for the next couple days actually, which is what happens sometimes

#these days i am lucky bc i usually have a typing medium at hand and can get the new writing in the form of typed files #in the past i have definitely used all sorts of things that were less than ideal bc the writing frenzy hit in inconvenient circumstances #i have covered paper plates front and back. scribbled in pen on the inside of water bottle wrappers. literally stolen paper from nearby #printers or on a few occasions /ripped blank pages from unattended notebooks belonging to others/ bc thats how bad the Need to write is #obviously at that point i had already run out of room on my hands arms and available sections of my legs so i was desperate #i once had no better writing tool available than green icing so guess what? i used it and later had to transfer the notes worth salvaging #to actual pen and paper once available bc icing attracts ants so it couldnt stay #in drama i covered a piece of scrap wood all over with writing while having a psychotic episode and people called it the board of prophecy #and this is just counting the times it has actually been story/character/worldbuilding notes and scene/dialogue fragments and timelines #yknow actually useful creative stuff? as opposed to just randomly Needing to Write Anything Just To Be Writing And Have Written which #has produced stuff of wildly varying content and quality over the years lmao #anyway under no circumstances be jealous of 'actually being able to get the words out' lmao its losing days of your life to it #its not being able to eat or drink or sleep even when your brain is released from the frenzy enough to remember that those 1) are things #and 2) you need to do them. its missing important events you needed to go to and important things you needed to do #and not being able to explain why without gambling over your continued freedom and autonomy #etc etc anyway guess why im mentioning this? hint it has to do with the new folder in my notes app with a total of ~32k new content in it #most of which is Fun and Fresh but with a dash of Throwing In Some Revitalized Versions of Old Ideas and which holds so much potential as a #new thing to occupy my days with for the next few months at least and which also. crucially. stole several days of my life from me #i only stopped bc i hit cluster headache time and was forcibly jolted from being able to process anything that wasnt overwhelming pain

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wallabywannabe · 2 months

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My niece has somehow taught herself to self-report all her misdeeds at any opportunity, while not, or perhaps in lieu of, showing anything resembling remorse.

"What did you do today Adeline?"

"I hit my brother on the head!"

"No, I mean what else did you do today? Did you have fun at swimming lessons?"

"I didn't listen when teacher told me to be quiet!"

#how do you explain to a 2 year old why Catholicism is not a great model for morality #meanwhile her 6 year old brother is getting pretty good at understanding empathy and responded to being hit by tapping her on the head #and saying see? you don't like it when I do it to you so don't do it to me #so she hit him again even harder #poor kid

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james-isqueer · 4 months

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uuughhh fuck cops

#my friend and I were parked in my car (I'm 20 usually passing as M but my license still has my deadname etc and my friend is a baby so 17F-i #a hs senior still. And I only just turned 20 #Our age difference is two grades yknow)#and straight up we were parked at our hs hust talking for like 10 minutes when a freaking sheriff pulled up shined his lights and approache #We were literally 2min from their house btw. Fr #And we explained that we were just talking yknow but ughh he took both our IDs and looked us up and everything. Even asked if we had illega #Substances in the vehicle (I wasn't thinking and while grabbing my wallet from the backseat put my jacket in the back so yea ig)#He asked how old we were first too and yeah just ugh #We're both gay in the wrong directions too like smh and yEah their parents know where we are #Who would do drugs and/or sex in the high school parking lot on a Saturday. HUH #Meanwhile I would literally do this for HOURS at a time while in hs. Srsly.#And the first time I do it in a year+ for TEN MINUTES. cop. Wtf #I think the only reason we got away without loitering fines was 1. We have clean records and 2. It's public property. Idk if you can charge #that yknow #Imma look it up but anyway #Fuck cops #Acab always #My friend is a woc btw. So I was a little on edge cause of how our area is especially #But yeah to him it probably looked like creepy college guy preying on hs girl but i sweear nooo xD #I was also outed to him obviously and 😀 that was. A moment. I saw a look in his eyes after lol #Cause my voice is DEEP now #: )))

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frecklenog · 3 months

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i want you all to understand this.

insulin pens are very often used by diabetic children (or their parents, but they were very easy to use during the short time i was prescribed them when i was a child myself). they’re less cumbersome, produce less waste, and are far easier than pulling insulin from a vial with a single use syringe, as syringes are much more susceptible to air bubbles, which result in the diabetic not getting enough medication. i’m explaining this part because i know that some diabetic adults do also use them, and i’m sure that that’s true of diabetic adults in palestine with such scarce resources. when it’s life or death, you can’t really be picky.

the israeli occupation is now banning insulin pens from entering gaza.

lack of insulin results in diabetic ketoacidosis — essentially a very, very dangerous version of the effects of the keto diet. insulin is a key for the sugar from one’s food (both slow and fast acting, since all food has some carbohydrates, from nuts to potatoes to table sugar) to get from their bloodstream into their cells. without insulin, the body resorts to eating through its own fat stores rather than the sugar it cannot access and tries to flush the excess glucose that is in the blood through the urine. this results in weight loss, headaches, nausea, dehydration, blurred vision, abdominal pain, impaired mental faculties, and, if left untreated, will result in a coma, and eventually death within a matter of weeks. not “can.” it will kill you if not treated, and was largely considered a lethal diagnosis until insulin was discovered in the early 1900s and made readily available in 1922.

i’ve been in dka. admittedly, i was very young and have blocked much of it out. but i do remember that it fucking sucked. i couldn’t focus on anything, i was ravenous no matter how much i ate, and the room spinning to the point i felt like i was going to throw up became an increasingly regular occurrence. i was seven years old and wasting away like i was starved. i was dying. a few more days, and i likely would’ve gone into a coma and might not be here now.

to inflict that, willingly and knowingly, on innocent people, is nothing short of a crime against humanity, and violates the geneva conventions (item 2.a.ii. torture or inhumane treatment, including biological experiments and item 2.a.iii. willfully causing great suffering or serious injury to body or health). not that the israeli occupation cares, of course, as south african prosecutors have already extensively detailed their crimes in the icj, and this one in particular has already been committed near-countless times.

this entire occupation is a genocide, and this is only one more nail in that coffin. but, as a diabetic — as a human being who has been in that state and was lucky enough to have the resources to live almost another fifteen years (with the anniversary of my own diagnosis about halfway through next month), i can’t find the words to express my disgust and rage anymore. maybe it’s selfish to be so deeply impacted by this particular blow. i don’t know. but these people have done nothing wrong but be disabled in gaza, and as someone with the same disability, i know that no one deserves this, even if they have committed a crime (which, again, these civilians, largely children, have not). i will not fucking stand for it.

we need a ceasefire. we need an end to the occupation. we need a free palestine. now.

here’s a masterpost of how you can help.

EDIT: here’s a post on how to help diabetics in gaza specifically

#free palestine #free gaza #israeli war crimes #actuallydiabetic #actually diabetic #actuallydisabled #actually disabled #shut up emrys

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