#how do i even tag ffs

[chaoslulled]

#chaoslulled    ––    an   indie   multi-muse   blog   featuring   muses   from   anime, literature, television   shows, comics,   and more.    established   2022   and   loved   by   hollow. minors   do   not   interact.  

#snk rp #aot rp #jjk rp #oc rp #mcu rp #csm rp #ooc. ❝ follow for quality content ⧽ ❪ affiliates ❫ #how do i even tag ffs

[autistic-katara]

there r fics that make u insane (so amazingly good it’s removed ur sanity) and then there’s fics that make u insane (you need to fistfight the author for how they did a specific thing that caused u to rant for hours)

#i know i just posted that other thing but ffs that is NOT how u handle someone in that situation everyone involved made everything 10x worse #yet it’s being treated like the right thing to do (which again ofc they’re cops they don’t understand harm reduction but still) like #seriously everything’s so forceful like u seriously think forcing ur friend to talk to u or forcing a patient to talk to a therapist under #the threat of being admitted to a psychiatric hospital is gonna make her feel comfortable talking to u? or anyone? she’s just gonna trust u #less and get better at hiding it and speaking of which the taking away all sharp objects thing makes sense in theory but like think abt it #for a minute she confirmed she isn’t suicidal and this is her only way of coping so do not just forcibly take away all her coping mechanism #like yes she is hurting herself but it’s a COPING MECHANISM. she’s coping with something. help her with that don’t just take away her penci #sharpers or whatever (which btw since she’s an adult she could easily buy more stuff and yk learn to hide it better) which again has to be #voluntary it isn’t gonna work if u force someone to do smthn they don’t want to like as ur friend u could’ve made it clear u care abt her #and wouldn’t judge her for anything and r here if she wants to talk don’t just say “you have to talk to me” and casually threaten #hospitalisation when she isn’t ready in the moment like seriously if this wasn’t a badly written fanfic she would completely stop trusting #bcz given that this wasn’t even done out of panic i would like ffs u are NOT doing any of this right #oops sorry ranted abt the bad fic in my tags- #it’s not where the author’ll see it and know it’s about them i don’t feel bad abt it #this was my first time even looking at stuff for this fandom so #cw self harm in tags #idk if i need to tag anything else for that 😭 #fanfic #ao3 #ryan shut the fuck up

[toruq]

I feel like every time sso writes Anne’s dialogue they have to make her say some cheesy thing about how shes ready to move on.(first problem u don’t just move on from trauma it always remains part of you).. right after showing her ‘moving on’ (ex training a horsey!) and give her bits to say about her ‘moving on’ (ex photoshoots with derek!) but her long insightful bs always ends in the same shit about how she wants to rid of her bitterness and realize her own inner beauty or something like that and i’m kinda like Ok well you’re doing that already  girl. I wanna see her fuck up and then say these things, like “damn, i totally blew up at linda just then. Mc, i really want to be a better friend” rather than “man, look at all my recent accomplishments. I regret everythign I did in the past and i want to be a better person.” I personally think it more sends this message of a kind of toxic positivity that either ignores completely or hyperbolizes all wrongdoings and creates more self-pity than real optimism. even tho i think it’s sso’s weird form of redundant teaching for little kids to gain self confidence. 

#to me anne has always been a character that loves to self reflect (literally) #and also may not know how to go about it but at least before her time in pandoria it would always be after bad moments and when she is alone #she is a character who may (at least before pandoria) put on an image for other people #but that doesnt mean around close friends she isnt authentic and happy and warm #i think even before her time in pandoria she was able to be doing that #so i dont really get all this bs about wanting to be nicer and better or something #everyone is mean sometimes #like i dont want sso to erase this or cover it up by not giving examples of how tf exactly she was being mean #and sure she probably has a lot of anger for whoever killed concorde but like #i dont see why that should be erased from her character either #if that makes sense #the tags make less sense #i just woke up #i cant write in the morning ffs #sso #ssoblr #star stable online #sso spoilers #sso anne #anne von blyssen

[horsemage]

I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂

#welcome to another Mick Airs Out Their Grievances and by god is it a VERY long one #prob best if u don't expand the tags #am I being maybe a bit meaner about this than I would be for any other movie? maybe but pac rim is one of my favorite movies of all time #so I think I get a pass on this one. #one of the groups on campus is hosting movie nights & I went to this one bc I've only ever watched pac rim on my laptop and wanted to watch #it on a larger screen. yay yippee I love this movie! #there r maybe 10-ish of us in this room and a three person friend group is sitting on the couch one of whom has seen the movie and two who #have not. okay so far so normal. #and then the movie starts and they won't! stop! fucking! commentating! the whole fucking movie!!! I don't have a problem with doing that #when I'm in just my friend group because I know that I can tell my friend to stop talking or pause the movie or whatnot but not when I'm in #a large group w people I'm not good friends with ffs #and the comments aren't even funny or anything they're all oh this is JUST like in iron widow!! oh they're SO gay and autistic!!! and #they're talking so loud about this that it completely drowns out the movie audio which has already been turned up a few times #like. be considerate!! some of us want to yknow actually listen to what's going on and not whatever bullshit you're saying #I nearly walked out three or four times before I actually wound up doing so #I may have been a bit of a bitch at the end but I don't care. I got up to leave because this was not an enjoyable environment and one of #them offered to turn the movie down if it was too loud. this caught me a bit off guard since I expected them to still be so wrapped up in #their convo and. well. I may have said 'it's not the movie that's too loud' before closing the door #this also reminds me a lot about my issues with online shipping culture and it bleeding through into how we interact with media irl #this is probably heavily influenced by my aromanticism but I'm so sick of people constantly reading romantic relationships into everything #AND placing more importance on those relationships than any other form. I don't mind romance in media. I think if done right it has great #emotional impact on a story but when a movie is running and when other people who may not want to hear it are in the room watching it too #is not the time to be loudly saying 'he's autistic!' 'they're in love!' 'she has a crush on him!' #I have my own interpretations of the movie some of which agree with what they said and some of which don't but that's beside the point of #knowing how to coexist politely in public #anyway. I think they were awful and annoying and they ruined my night out. #I think I'm just so incredibly mad about this because I love the movie and I was looking forward to watching it in a group of people who #found it cool as well while still having some modicum of politeness #I almost wish I had been meaner but that's the extreme annoyance talking I think #hater hour over love u guys bye

[chaotic-minds-think-alike]

What if I was so demotivated to do anything I gave you low effort Eight drawn by hand and from memory

Plus this I guess

#thunderposting i guess #no art tag because eh… #I want to draw and do things but god it’s impossible to work the motivation rn #idk how to explain it but I just want to rest and even if I’m rested I still want to #it’s like being on artblock but for everything I enjoy and it sucks ass #I load up a game only to play for 10 mins before im so bored #why does this happen and how do I stop it ffs

[thats-a-lot-of-cortisol]

My mom just sent a message to the family group chat suggesting that my siblings download the 'For the Strength of Youth' magazine on their Gospel Library app and talked about how much the youth magazines helped her testimony growing up and like, cool. Fine. Don't know why the 'sending random spiritual thoughts in the gc' thing started out of nowhere when it hadn't been a thing for a decade but this is just another one of those, and you're ofc allowed to talk about things that are significant in your life.

I don't think sending the 'What I Did When Someone Close to Me Challenged My Faith' article right afterwards was strictly necessary though 🙃

#hi bg mutuals 👋 i'm gonna vent about this from time to time. if any mutuals dont want to see it block the 'apostake' tag #trying not to read too much into it b/c I think I did last time something like this happened #and i dont want to make an ass of myself even if neither time would actually be in front of my parents #but like...i know that they know that one of my sisters is clearly PIMO #they went through her phone a couple weeks ago and i have no idea if they read my texts w/ her #but if they did they probably saw the conversation i had with her about some of the really common shelf-breakers #and telling her to take looking into it at her own pace b/c it's scary and overwhelming #(a conversation SHE started btw) #and when i talked to my parents about the larger context of that whole situation i talked about not having space to step back #and their response was that they give plenty of space b/c they dont make her go to seminary??? #that's not the same thing as letting her openly question & potentially leave the church idk what to tell you #like. besties i dont know for sure what caused it (which is NOT making things better. it just feels potentially passive aggressive) #but from my end? it sure looks like it might be a reaction to that. probably not JUST that (friends exist) but. #if you think I'm whispering anti-mormon rhetoric into my siblings' ears just ask me. i'm very much NOT doing that #i'm just. talking? to them? when and if they come to me with questions? #and not making my answer 'well there's a reason our parents raised us in the church! ☺️' #(an actual argument given in the article my mom sent) #hate it. thanks #apostake #jay rambles #ok to interact #im not challenging anyone's faith. my patience though? INCREDIBLY challenged #gotta figure out how to work my way around a 'hey please dont send spiritual thoughts to the gc *I'm in*' talk tactfully #they've been pretty chill about me leaving over-all?? at least to my face #haven't pushed me to go to church w/ them; was fine with me not visiting for easter; didnt try to convince me to not drink coffee; etc #it's just. frustrating that they're not giving my siblings that still live with them that same grace #my sister's 17 ffs #it's very possible im way overreacting to the article. but what is tumblr for if not screaming into the void #religion #mormonism

[weaselishmcdiesel]

Itty bitty vent

#I don’t really watch any movies I don’t watch new movies old movies I just don’t care about watching them #I’ll watch animated movies if i hear they’re good enough but only then #I haven’t watched any live action shows since like highschool and I don’t even watch new popular cartoons #and it fucking sucks how frequently I feel distant from other people when they start talking about media together #or when someone says ‘omg you haven’t seen —‘ like no. fucking. what do you want me to do #serious movies or shows are fucking boring to me I have enough serious shit happening irl #media is 100% escapism for me that’s all it ever is for me I can only hold interest in funny or romantic things #like fucking hell mate #I watch anime but infrequently so I don’t even know about popular ones #I just wish it wasn’t as common of a topic. or that at least it was more acceptable for people not to indulge in it #I don’t have Netflix or cable like what do you want me to do #like when I feel like watching something 80% of the time I’m going to rewatch some fuckin. markiplier video. that’s it that’s all I watch #either him or some youtuber #but I don’t even know that many YouTubers so I can’t say it makes up for not being into pop media #the only thing I’m decently knowledgable about is games but no one ever talks about games ffs #fuckin hell. always feel so fuckin distant #anyway #vent #maybe some people want this tag filtered idk #weasel speaks

[capricornsicle]

(Image: Handshake meme template. One arm is "Deucalion in season 5", the other is "Beacon Hills lacrosse refs". Where they're shaking hands is replaced by the "I pretend I do not see it" meme.)

#look I have a lot of thoughts about teen wolf lacrosse. feel free to send asks/dms if you have questions I love talking about this #sorry in advance for the essay in the tags #I was suddenly possessed by the need to make this as quickly as possible #this is going to be funny to a small sect of people but I hope it will be as funny as I think it is #the refs fr be like -_- #you are not doing your job. why #the players will be fouling + illegal checking + stabbing + breaking bones + turning into wolves on the field and the refs are like #(looking off into the distance) hmm did I leave the stove on? #this is what I get for playing lacrosse in high school #I am one of 4 people who understands a sport that is a great metaphor aside from how much the refs ignore shit #ONE OF THE PLAYERS STABS SOMEONE. THIS HAPPENS IN S4 #if you can't follow play fast enough to see the most obvious foul in history why are you coaching #I know it's an aggressive sport but I coached middle schoolers as part of my longstanding high school detention #and as a lax ref the first thing you learn is how to break up a fight #bet these mfs on the sidelines have never gotten stick checked in the throat by an angry 13yo #like when they do break up a scuffle they do it so limp wristy #'are you gonna do that again' 'no' 'sure thing kid' #even if cody saintgnue was the one blatantly fouling like that I would still call that shit! you can't body slam someone! that's not legal! #ffs tv acts like ANYTHING is legal in lacrosse and it's basically soccer with sticks #checking is not targeted harassment (at least that's not legal play) it's only allowed when someone has the ball or is picking it up #and if you keep body checking someone when you can get by with less you will get called #in fact you get preemptively fouled for body checking too often even when it's entirely legal #+ most body checks are shoulder bc it's way easier to dislodge the ball without breaking someone's back #teen wolf #teen wolf memes #you ever think there's a watermark on your meme but then realize it's just tumblr text editing icons all over the place? good times

[nostalgia-tblr]

I don't want to fuck up the post i saw this amazing fact on cos it looked like srs stanning discourse and etc but. i need to say. "He killed 80 people in 3 days!"

...

...???

80?

In 3 days?

...is that all???

SOME villians wouldn't even bother to get out of bed for less than a few thousand deaths in the space of perhaps 45 minutes.

MISSY IS JUDGING YOU, THIRD-FAVOURITE LOKI.

SHE WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU HAD A COLD OR SOME OTHER EXCUSE. MAYBE YOU HAD TO GO THE MESSAGES FOR YOUR GRANNY AND THAT TOOK UP MOST OF YOUR WEEKEND???

DID YOU AT LEAST KILL GRANNY AFTER THAT???? DID YOU???

#should be careful how i tag this one oh no oh no ohhhhh the stans r lookin at me funny now #in irl terms it'd be a lot for like a serial killer so probably that's the scale i should be working with here? #80. jesus. did you even TRY???? #a hamster with a blunt penknife could do it faster #i stan HEROES with bigger bodycounts FFS!!!!! #(Genocides Who is an outlier and should not be counted etc etc) #(BUT STILL)

[kingmaximusboltagon]

This is a loaded question, and I've asked it on another Inhumans fan blog, but what's your take on the possibility that Black Bolt is autistic-coded? Or that Black Bolt and Maximus are both autistic, but express it differently because Maximus has comorbidities such as brain injury?

Obviously, there is no one-on-one real life analogue for Black Bolt's destructive voice, or his isolation while trying to control his powers. However, I see it as symbolic of how people without mental mouth filters can destroy conversations and relationships by saying the wrong thing. While Black Bolt's voice causes actual destruction, he's also done plenty to wreck his relationship with his loved ones (Ahura, for example). His isolation and training to keep silent would then be symbolic of people who clam up because they believe they can never say the right thing.

While it's more likely that artists are choosing to be lazy, there's also scenes where Black Bolt does not try to communicate, even in sign language. Or scenes where, though he is signing, he never communicates more than the basics. It could be that, in a face-to-face conversation, he has no way to describe what he is actually feeling at a given time. Certainly he and Maximus have had several errors in communication where Maximus believes Black Bolt hates him and wants revenge, but Black Bolt loves him and only wants to help, but he struggles to find a way to actually convey that to his brother.

There's also stories where Black Bolt, like his friend and fellow autistic-coded Reed Richards, has run off and done something unorthodox by both human and Inhuman standards, not bothering to explain himself before hand because it actually made sense to his personal logic. It's led to a lot of misconceptions over his motives and character, even among his closest friends. By the time things are over , Black Bolt, like Reed, always forgives them for doubting him, likely because he's used to this treatment. On the other hand, Maximus holds grudges a mile long over even misconstrued doubts and slights.

Finally, there's the fact that in scenarios where Black Bolt can talk, whether it's an AU, or he has some sort of power nullifier, there's moments where he's gone on tangents and needs to be steered back to the actual topic at hand. This is, again, something I have experience with.

Overall, it would be interesting to see how neither Black Bolt nor Maximus are neurotypical, but they express it differently. And it would be one more vulnerability to add to Black Bolt, who usually seems so stoic and regal.

hmmm.. this is definitely interesting to think about. imo one of the most interesting things about the inhumans is how terrible their society is (was) despite so many of the royal family going directly against those societal expectations. triton needing accommodations to be on land, gorgon using a wheelchair/having chronic pain, maximus having prosthetics and being neurodivergent (i really wish they would go into more specifics with that! it all feels so vague… especially since sometimes they explain it as something other than a disorder).

and as some other people have mentioned, there’s definitely some subtext for triton, though he hasn’t appeared in too many of the comics i’ve read so far, so i can’t comment much on him. i do think an argument could be made for karnak, as well, though! though maybe that's just me. i find some of his personality very relatable.

but back to the boltagons. considering the comics have commented more than once that ahura could “inherent maximus’ madness”, and there’s that one comic (more than one?) where bb’s tuning fork is damaged and he begins hallucinating (just like maximus!), i think there’s definitely something that runs in the family that agon could very well have also had. whether it’s autism specifically, i’m not sure i could really say, as i haven’t been diagnosed with it, so i really can’t speak from any type of experience on that. but i do think you make very good points, and i certainly don’t think he’s neurotypical, based off what the comics have stated and his upbringing! (i like to think he also has social anxiety)

plus, as you mentioned the comics where he does talk - in those that i’ve read, it seems even then he keeps the tuning fork. i very strongly believe it has some type of control over his mental state, something that agon would have created for him while he was very young, and something he wouldn’t know how to exist without… that tied with the communication issues, his general personality of appeasing, his tangents in zombies (man, did i love him in zombies, even if it was such a short role), i can definitely see it. it would 100% add to his character, and i think would also give further reasoning into some of his decisions, especially maximus or ahura related. i would love a comic focused on the three and their mental health.

#i do think hes very relatable as someone with adhd though #which has a lot of overlap with autism! #so i do feel that theres something there and can definitely be seen in the subtext #and if i wish it hard enough maybe just... the text? 😳 #but yes!! i think i kinda tangented myself in this ask but tldr is yeah very big hc #and i love to include ahura in those hcs. especially after reading ff (iirc) bc medusa and sue talk about their kids in it #and i LOVE LOVE LOVE ahura in it and his relationship with medusa and how medusa (and crystal!) think of him #how they mention that he has good and bad mental days and always try to accommodate him #it means a real big lot to me and i WISH some of that writing was included for bb and maximus more often #i have a LOT of thoughts on bb and neurodivergence and i think max's is one of the reasons ive latched onto him so hard #but im not gonna get into any of that in the tags rn and tbh i dont even know how to write half of those thoughts and feelings #which if anything shows how strongly i relate to the two. the rep i feel from bb is... very comforting. i love these boys so so much #blackagar boltagon #maximus boltagon #ahura boltagon #triton mander azur #gorgon petragon #karnak mander azur #king agon #agon #? i forgot my tag for him oops #inhumans #ask

[merry-the-cookie]

#teresa.txt #dont read the tags lol im just going insane in here it has been. it has been at day so far lmfao #listen i am going thru it right now. im gonna take a shower im gonna lie down im gonna pass out while i watch a show on my phone or somethin #that lady at the tattoo parlor was. ive never wanted to punch someone in the teeth so bad than i do right now #culmination of all the events of this morning #walking to the closest doctor 30min away and feeling like rambo in the fucking jungle cus theres no sIDEWALK IN THIS FUCKING PLACE #walking back to this fucking shop thats fINALLY OPEN AFTER CLOSING WITHOUT ANY INFO OR UPDATE #THIS LADY TELLING ME I SHOULDVE CALLED AND TEXTED WHEN I IN FACT /VERY MUCH DID THAT/!!!!!! #being all short and condescending with me about iNFORMATION SHE DIDNT GIVE ME IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #talking to me like im dumb for going to see a dr instead of her whEN I FUCKING TRIED BUT THEY WERE CLOSED AND WOULDNT ANSWER THE PHONE!!!!!! #LIKE BITCH WTF DID YOU WANT ME TO DOOOOOO #YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW LONG I WAS SUPPOSED TO KEEP THEM IN FFS LMFAO #so now i gotta wait at least a month to go back and get these piercings done all over again #but i dont know that i wanna go to that place again LMFAO i think is rather just. find someplace else #even if its a bit more pricey like. i dont wanna see her face again LMFAO #i have Not slept i am still pmsing my period is incredibly late so i know #oh i know. that its gonna kick my fucking ass #i am gross i had to walk right next to the crops under the burning sun for close to an hour total i am sweaty i am Murderous #the fucking i ternet people are assholes we have been here almost three months and they still manage to fuck us over we sTILL DONT HAVE WIFI #literally just. teresa and the no good terrible very bad week. its wednesday lmfaogjfjkshfkdjf #incredible. almost impressive #what a fucking waste of time #yeah no i cant go back to that girl i will crumble to dust

[maxmayfieldirl]

I live for Mike Wheeler angst and it's so rare nowadays bc everyone hates him now ydjsjdjjdjd

#a good portion of ff writers don't even acknowledge that he has trauma 😭 #in my personal opinion mike getting vecna'd >>>>> will getting vecna'd #you just expect it from Will but I'm sure the characters wouldn't expect it from Mike #motherfucker represses everything like it's his job #he and max r literally the same person so like!!!!! think abt it #I also like projecting onto him #im pretty sure most of em have survivors guilt--nancy especially who is also someone the fandom and writers like to look over trauma wise #I do see more people talking about how barb dying has affected her #thanks for catching up guys #im rambling but the point of the tags is: most people only focus on the Byers/Hopper's trauma and like. No one else an it's a tad annoying #id talk abt it myself if I was good at analyzing characters #the wheelers and now Max's trauma gets more recognized than lucas an Dustin #yeah I'm still rambling hijsks #maybe I'm just looking in the wrong places but. Still #stranger things #mike wheeler

[mr007pennyworth]

3am;

Mun; You don't think this is real then?

Alfred; It's not...it is and it's not, it's not the same.

Mun; this makes no sense, you constantly badger on how he's never to doubt you but all you is doubt him? Like seriously give him a break it's new Alf.

Alfred; is it? Tell me, what has he to love?

Mun; everything!

Alfred; I feel like im blinding myself with a lie and hoping I never open my eyes.

Mun; but why? You say you love him, you have letters and notes, messages and a ten page long damn speech for the wedding but you sit here telling me you don't think it's real? None of it?

Alfred; how can I? I feel like there's something I cant give enough to understand it. I can only question what I know and it's nothing.

Mun; HE AGREED TO MARRY YOU HOW THE HELL IS THAT NOTHING?

Alfred; Thats based on more than this, there's so much history to unpack here that I fear I've pushed something, I'm mirroring emotions into him that...he shouldn't be forced in him to give back.

Mun; Alf for fucks sake, why in the name of Lucifer do you not understand? What don't you understand? Is his word not enough for you or something? I feel he's going to be a bit upset if you drop this in his face and ask 'oh btw I think you only agreed to marry me because you feel guilty that I'm in love with you'

Alfred; THEN GIVE ME AN ANSWER! WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO FEEL?

Mun; ....

Alfred; I know how to love him with everything I am I swear but...I don't know how to know this...I feel like I'm drowning in it and I can't think, I can't focus, I can't...I don't know this, I don't think I know love...

Mun; You've had plenty of relationships Alf...you must-

Alfred; based on what? Are you telling me that...that pain, that...was love?

Mun; Jack...only wanted you for sex and when he didn't get it, abused you, Natalie wasnt really a romance, she was just a fast fuck when the adrenaline got high, Mc Gregor lired you into his bed with talk of dinners and a new life, used you for sex and shot you...by accident yes but still, you just became his toy..."

Alfred; When you put it like that I sound like right push over *laughs*

Mun; but it's not funny, because even with the few after all that, it was just sex...you've never had a bond with someone like you had with Gareth before all this came out, you've built everything in this relationship on passing fancy not knowing, the flirting, the casual oral sex that you never attached an emotion too because you didn't want to fall for what Matthews told you...you haven't known the depth behind how someone can love you outside of the bedsheets and that kinda awful...your afraid he's not going like what he sees...

Alfred; and I can't give that here, I can't be Beagle anymore, there's none of that left to love...I can't stand up on my own anymore for one.

Mun; there plenty to love, you just refuse to look...you just...refuse...oh god.

Alfred; what?

Mun; you don't understand love because you can't see how to love yourself...you doubt the man you want to be and doubt everything else because you don't trust yourself...you don't love yourself.

Alfred; *sad whine* Nope.

Mun; I don't even know how to begin to try...

Alfred; Don't...I don't even think there's a begining to even try...

Mun; Alf trust something...please, just one thing.

Alfred; fine what?

Mun; trust me when I tell you, things will feel hard now and It's going to take the past to remind you, but Gareth is going to be the one that shows you, what it means to love and be loved, this is what they mean when people say love is war because it's honestly gruesome when you lay it out raw, trust me Alf, things are going to be different this time, forget everything you know and hold on. There's a reason you've put a ring on this one.

#mr007pennyworth #bvs verse (irons) #v; give me one more night to ruin my life again #(note; not hc for any other verses because alfred 100% knows Wendy loves him) #dontcxckitup #ship; alf x gareth #ooc; its 3am and alfred is in pain again #ooc; scheduled post because i refuse to block the dash at 3am like fuck #ooc; alfreds fears of not beinging enough and then fears that not getting over it will make him lose gareth #ooc; this muse is going to kill me semd help like now fuck #ooc; gareth do you know this idiot cries himself to sleep with thinking about how much he loves you #ooc; if you didnt you fucking know now jesus #ooc; if you didnt read the tags your missing out on why gareth shouldn't be mad #ooc; okay maybe for like a hot minute but this old bastard is trying damn it #ooc; here he goes again thinking he needs to protect gareth from everything even himself #ooc; i need this ship like i need air ffs

[nicodaws]

having a lil crisis at 1:30 in the am. as is tradition.

#this is such a long tag rant lmao sorry #tonight highlights r oh god i have no idea when im going to be able to medically transition #coz like ! fuck the uk system is designed to make us wait til we're 30 and i could go private but im not fucking loaded and im saving for #a year abroad in a few years and ffs im going fucking abroad for a year if all goes to plan and how does that even work and #idk how im supposed to do anything with no money and a transphobic family #and most the trans ppl ik irl have either been on the waiting list since they were 16 and r abt to get on T which i couldnt get coz my mum #would never #or they have fucking surgery dates scheduled coz their family can fucking afford to go private #and jealousy is an ugly emotion but man im feeling it so much rn #its just . i do not see the path that allows me to get what i need within the next like . 5 years . #its a stupid thing to be upset abt coz i cant change it but man im so upset abt it rn #my degree involves being on camera and podcasts and talking to strangers and i am not going to pass for any of it #anyway . its fine ill just have to save more and see abt private and get things moving ig #just. i want 2 talk to my mum abt it but i cant and it sucks. :] #. #idk i think i had this idea when i was like 12 and first coming out to friends that by the time i was 19 i would be on T getting surgery yk #but :] reality strikes again #delete later

[banished-away]

coils cutscenes with fc is fun

#ff #ffxiv #does this count as spoilers #i feel like it does but how do i even tag it #its 2.0 content

[thickenmyblood]

are there any capri writers who inspire you?

i know you’re clearly looking for a specific answer, which would be me listing and redirecting you to my fav capri writers or their fics or both. however, the people that really inspire me in general (but also specifically in this fandom) are those that don’t get discouraged easily. i’m a very negative, self-centered in my personal tragedy, corrosively envious type of person, so i think what i admire in other writers isn’t the ability or talent to write amazingly well or fast, but rather that they find joy in the things they do, however small or unpopular those things might be. 

soul crushing catholic guilt aside, i’ve thought about dropping fics a lot while i was gone. like, just straight up never finishing them. and it would be a lie to say that it wasn’t external validation from friends and strangers that has kept me from doing so. SO i guess what i’m trying to say is that there’s merit in doing things just because you want to and not bc others want you to do them, and that’s why admire people that with little or no validation keep pushing through and write and read and still find it within themselves to be kind to others. idk. just a thought.

#anon #writing #this isnt even a writing ask but do i look like i know how to fucking tag anything #ffs #also #I DONT CARE IF U DONT LIKE HOW I ANSWER ASKS NOW #SUCK MY BALLS