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omegalomania · 2 years

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Wait why does everyone hate brendon urie again?

i was tempted to just say "google it" but honestly panic's pr team is working doubletime to sanitize this bastard so here's a quick primer for those who are out of the loop.

this got long so i’m putting it under a cut. as a warning, this is going to have discussions and screenshots of people saying and doing extremely morally reprehensible shit, including racist, homophobic, and transphobic language, sexual harassment of minors, and more. tread with caution.

i'm also going to top this off with the caveat that brendon has a history of saying generally stupid and casually shitty things that a lot of people have noticed and called attention to, but these were largely unremarkable in the sense that they were the sort of things that i was not surprised to hear a privileged cis dude say. so while that's definitely a factor - the guy has said very shitty, openly racist, gross things, etc., numerous times and on numerous platforms and i do not want to overlook that - i also don't want to pretend like that’s the only thing going on here because there is a lot of other heinous shit at work.

i’m also not going to go into the intricacies of song meanings or lyrics and the like aside from a couple touchstone examples. it’s pretty public knowledge by now that i don’t know how but they found me (henceforth referred to as idkhow, fronted by dallon weekes, who worked/toured with panic for a good eight years as its bassist) has quite a few numbers that take implicit and explicit aim at panic, most prominently the video for their single “do it all the time,” which featured dallon setting fire to all the suits he used to wear on tour with the band. it’s an open secret that dallon was not treated very well during his time with panic, but we’ll get to that. the point here is that i don’t want to focus on conjecture of speculation when we have a wealth of very hard evidence at our disposal.

so let’s get into it.

the real Poop started up late 2019 iirc, when numerous panic fans started passing around stories about zack hall, panic's bodyguard and security guy who had been with the band since the fever era. as the only person who had actually been with the band as long as brendon himself, zack had a fair amount of sway with the fans and was notably very very close with brendon. as more and more people spoke up, it became apparent that zack had done a whole lot of things that i would term as "incredibly fucked up" over the years with people being generally afraid to say anything. it’s been pointed out to me that these accusations only picked up traction around that time; fans have been raising flags about zack’s behavior for years without any reaction from panic’s management.

around this time, discussion began circulating that brendon himself had sexually harassed/assaulted multiple fans (many of them minors at the time). some of these accusations, such as his attempt to solicit nudes from fans, have proven to be way muddier to and harder to confirm, seeing as brendon was allegedly not in charge of his socials for some of this time and one of the people using his handles to solicit fans for nudes was reportedly a former stalker of his, chelsey lynn.

i think it is worth noting that brendon has brought up his history with “stage gay” with founding member, guitarist, composer, and lyricist ryan ross and mentioned that brendon’s attempts to get handsy on stage were not always taken kindly (emphasis mine):

For our first headline tour I would go up to Ryan our guitar player, and like kiss him on the neck or kiss him on the mouth and he would be so mad. I was like, I just want to kiss you bro.

(that’s also the interview where brendon tried to both-sides the issue of roseanne being a hideous fucking racist. so, fun stuff.)

in any case, it took brendon four months to respond to any of the accusations leveled at him and zack. he ended up doing so by filming a two-minute apology on his twitch account (which was locked to subscribers only, meaning it was essentially monetized) [twitter thread summary for those who can't stomach it], only to say that he was just too anxious to say anything and that while zack had been removed from his position, he and brendon would remain close friends. he did not respond to any of the allegations against himself, and proceeded to basically go completely radio silent on all social media until reemerging in 2022 to promote viva las vengeance.

(contrast to this to how speedily he fired touring guitarist kenny harris in 2018 when multiple allegations arose that he was soliciting underage girls. he was removed from the tour in less than twenty-four hours. while the expediency of this was praised at the time, it retroactively raises a lot of questions as to how much brendon and/or zack knew about this behavior beforehand and were simply waiting for a good PR call to do something about it.)

brendon seeing no issues with zack’s behavior and only doing something about it when backed into a corner is very much not a good look, and is suggestive of the possibility that he’s complicit in or at the very least tolerant of this kind of fuckery.

but wait. theres more.

beyond the genuine fucked up behavior, brendon also has a history of severely mistreating his bandmates. we could get into the politics of the infamous schism that split founding member ryan ross (along with bassist jon walker) from brendon and the band’s drummer, spencer smith, but that is its own bag of worms and this post is long enough already. that drama is very well-covered. however, i think it’s worth noting that out of every single member of the band that has come through it, both creative contributor and touring member, the only former member to depart the band amiably was spencer, who took his leave because of struggles with alcoholism. he’s the only one who remains on good terms with brendon to this day, but he’s also technically brendon’s boss at this point since he helps manage the label dcd2, of which panic at the disco is a part.

most apparent and well-documented of brendon’s spotty history with his own bandmates is his treatment of dallon weekes and his wife, breezy weekes, while the former was writing and touring with the band. in that little zack hall clusterfuck above you can see places where breezy talked about being repeatedly harassed but electing to keep quiet so that dallon wouldn't risk losing his job. reportedly they both went to panic's management to put a stop to it, but the bad behavior continued, with both zack hall and brendon’s wife, sarah urie, as propagators. there was public outcry as people insisted that dallon and breezy were making this up for attention. however, eventually former touring guitarist (from 2009-2012) ian crawford (along with his sister), both spoke up to corroborate that zack's behavior (and brendon's enabling of it) were very much recurring issues and were part of the reason that ian left panic in the first place. ian's twitter is no longer active, so all i have are screenshots on tumblr for this one.

dallon has not spoken of his time spent with panic with much fondness. he replaced bassist jon walker in 2009 and contributed creatively on both vices and virtues (2011) and too weird to live, too rare to die (2013). for the former, he was responsible for the concept and album art. for the latter, he got writing credit for all but two of the tracks (casual affair and end of all things), and you can even find an early version of "far too young to die" that was originally penned for one of dallon's earlier projects, the brobecks. the controversial track "girls/girls/boys" (as well as “all the boys”) from too weird was written for dallon's wife, breezy, as a celebration for her pansexuality. the finished product would end up being about an alleged threesome brendon had.

in 2015 dallon stated that he would no longer be involved in panic’s writing process but would continue to serve as touring bassist before departing officially in 2017 and focusing all his efforts on the aforementioned idkhow along with former falling in reverse drummer (and former fellow brobecks bandmate) ryan seaman. while dallon has remained relatively cagey about his time with panic (as is entirely within his rights), he has on occasion commented that he often felt bullied and belittled in the workplace, and once referred to zack hall as "the actual worst person [he had] ever met."

breezy has been more frank about what dallon had to deal with during his time with the band and over time, dallon has been more up front about this as well. turns out dallon was underpaid to the point where he had to take up a second job cleaning carpets while touring with panic, and working side jobs and donating plasma for gas money between tours. this continued well into 2010 and possibly for longer. the ratio was reportedly something like $400 a night compared to brendon's $15k paycheck, so take that as you will.

that's most of what i can remember. i tried to sauce everything i could but please let me know if i missed anything. i also tried to embed the images but doing so kept breaking the damn post cause this is a webbed site so you only get links SORRY

tldr brendon urie is self-absorbed prick who hoards credit, mistreats his musicians, shelters predators, and may very well be a predator himself. fuck him.

also, while i definitely don't want to downplay the severity of just how horrendous a lot of this shit is, in the interests of not wrapping this on a totally down note i do want to mention that people were writing brendon and panic out of the "emo trinity" legacy as early as mid-2019 because everyone hated pray for the wicked that fucking much. after having to endure the musical travesty that is high hopes innumerable times during every single 20-minute grocery store run i was ready to chalk up my dislike of him to sheer annoyance so you can imagine my surprise when i learned that not only was this annoyance justified i wasn't actually hating him nearly enough.

#panic at the disco #brendon urie #yeah whatever ill maintag this just in case people arent aware #also yes you can reblog this as a general rule i never put something on this blog im not ok w people reblogging #have fun go wild whatever but people looking to pick a fight WILL be blocked #i was watching a lot of this going down in real time but there arent a lot of useful consolidations of all this information #and i'd like to stress that this is a fraction of a fraction of whats out there #theres also a lot of discussion on tiktok reportedly?? idk i dont have a tiktok and never will #if anyone feels like adding anything feel free but do please source it #i have had to fight off TOO many intrepid discoursers with a pointy stick to deal with unsauced claims currently #askin hours #anon #SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG also i have been drinking quite a bit at this point hopefully this is all coherent lol

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front-facing-pokemon · 10 months

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#tropius #HE SO APPY!!! FUCK!!! HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS ONE #i've never looked at tropius up close before i didn't even know they had a little helmet and shit. this is WONDERFUL. they're SO appy #i hope you all appreciate this as much as i do because this is very good. i don't even know anything about tropius. jack SHIT. except that #they're so appy. and i will accept this. i gotta work but i've been too busy thinking abt how appy they are #i also started the process of remaking my main blog. bc it just had a lot of posts on it all the way back to way back in my past #and i felt like it was weighing the whole blog down and making me not want to use it. and that blog needed some housekeeping for me to want #to associate myself with it. so i'm currently in the process of coming up with a new URL before i start really renovating #so the hunt for miss ffp starts anew or something. unless i've lazily replied to you in a comment once and you remember my url #i've done that to a few of you. demifiendcruithne is one. shoutouts to you demifiendcruithne you're the best #then there was that one who assumed i use windows. despite recognizing that i'm “rather techy.” yuck!#had to respond to that one to clear up any suspicion that i might be a windows user. this is all totally unrelated and also will be #totally irrelevant by the time this post gets up anyway. hopefully. y'know if i haven't come up with a new url by then then #i mean. that's my fault. but this isn't gonna post until july 23rd. 10 days from today. so. hopefully!#see you all then

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waterfallofspace · 3 months

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don't know how to format this post so welcome to waterfall is craving things and she doesn't know if it's more h-rny or lonely so enjoy a little snippet of what is playing on loop in my mind~

Person A: tshhieew!

Person B: Bless you, poor little thing~

Person A: I'm- eshh'iew! tschh- kngt'shhew! I'm not little!

Person B: Even if you aren't, your sneezes sure are~

Person A, blushing: No they're- eh'tnshiew! aeshh'iee!

Person B, with a smirk: What a poor, sneezy little thing~

#waterfallsnzarios #waterfalltalks #i guess??? idk man waterfallcraves is more accurate #just B taunting them and A being such a little blushy mess by the end #knowing that they ARE little but even if they arent! the sneezes are! they cant fight that!#not like they can fight being little either buutttt~ ;3 #yes im picturing c/huuya but gotta be honest not seeing d/azai as the other #perhaps in a private little bedroom... away from prying eyes and ears...#or perhaps this is just something I crave okay i just- lil with lil snz auhegughguh #im a sucker for a kitten snz and i am! feeling things so welcome to this randomness that does NOT have a point~#(and yes okay maybe id like to be on either side of this BUT! shut up! i do not!)#(using this as a blog again- starting to get more and more used the idea that like... maybe i DO want attention???)#(always knew i craved attention but like.... always used to it being the kind of attention that i GIVE to others and maybe i get something)#(but not used to like... actual genuine attention thats just for me and that isnt kinda... idk- you give me things? so i give bak?)#(gonna be so honest!! i do not feel cute! most of the time! and usually thats okay! i like being a lil chaos gremlin :3)#(buuuuuut recently been having more friends call me cute and idk!!! maybe its not the worst thing to get to be a lil soft sometimes~)#(ANYWAYS blog post over im so sorry to anyone who read these tagssssss but here is a lil snzario that hopefully makes up for it!!)

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loki-us · 6 months

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Can the same parallel of Thor and Jane be made for Loki and Sylvie the way you are making for Loki and Mobius? I'm genuinely curious. Do you think the show in its writing and direction makes that parallel?

Didn't Sylvie change Loki the way Jane changed Thor? In his own words, made them soft.

(Ask is referencing this post about the parallel between the relationship of Thor/Jane and Loki/Mobius)

I think the way Tom and Owen play Loki and Mobius makes it very clear that the parallel is between them and not Loki and Sylvie. From the very first episode, Mobius is the only one who sees Loki differently, who sees him for who he really is and believes in his capacity for good. Before Loki even meets Sylvie, he spends time with Mobius in episode 2 and learns what it means to have a genuine friend who trusts you and doesn’t expect you to be anything besides yourself. Because everyone in Loki’s life had always based his worth on a throne, on his ability to be a worthy prince and live up to the image of Thor and Odin and then here comes this soft analyst who has seen everything Loki has ever done and says ‘you’re not a villain’ and ‘you could be anything you want to be, even someone good.’

The impact of having that one person believe in him is enough to allow Loki to realize that his worth isn’t tied to a throne and that trusting other people doesn’t have to make him vulnerable. With Sylvie, I think Loki was starting to learn what it meant to love himself, in the sense that he started feeling protectiveness and affection toward her and had no context for that feeling as someone who has always felt only shame and hatred for himself. However, Sylvie never transformed him like Mobius did. Sylvie was so blinded by her trauma and her need for revenge that she was literally incapable of trusting anybody. Loki says this to her in 1x6 and then Sylvie uses his feelings to manipulate him so she can achieve her own goal. Sylvie never truly cared about anyone besides herself, which is shown in season 2 when Loki has to constantly ask her to return to the TVA and only gets her to help once her own timeline is destroyed. Loki never stops trying to save the TVA, and it’s all because he knows Mobius was happy there and he wants his friends to be happy again.

Sylvie on the other hand is actively trying to stop him and they are constantly opposing each other the entire season. Note that after this line, when Loki says he wants his friends back, he is by definition referring to everyone besides Sylvie because they are the only two who know what really happened at this point and Sylvie made it clear she wants to be left in her timeline alone.

Finally, Loki explicitly references Mobius’ impact on him later in the episode, just before Mobius asks if Loki is really his friend. Loki makes it clear here that Mobius’ belief in him was something he had never even considered before, that the power of that belief had changed his entire perspective.

Loki and Sylvie never have anything close to this type of transformative relationship and the way that Mobius changed him directly inpsired his actions throughout the entirety of season 2. Through Mobius, Loki found people he could care about, he realized his self-worth, and he found the strength to sacrifice for others, all things that Sylvie never taught him. If you imagine taking either Mobius or Sylvie out of the equation, it’s clear that Loki’s growth and journey to his own glorious purpose was made possible by his relationship with Mobius and how he was changed by it.

#ask answered #I do appreciate the question!#quite enjoyed writing this analysis here #hopefully something here is thought-provoking/interesting to you!#loki #Mobius #Lokius #mobius m mobius #thoughts-theories #loki-us blog

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trashcantasch · 11 months

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He is hopelessly in love

Fireworks prompt for terraqua summer splash :)

#tasummersplash #kingdom hearts #terraqua #terra #aqua #kh terra #kh aqua #art #i was gonna do something more polished #but then i started getting non summer brainrot for this ship #coming to this blog soon :]#hopefully

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defiledtomb · 1 year

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selene what's got you smiling so sweetly? (is it the hunter, covered in blood?) ๏˽๏

#ouroboros-if #interactive fiction #sene/selene #posting on tumblr nowadays like im golfing off a highrise roof #punting a post into the fray hand on my eyebrows to shield from the sun watching if it lands well #obligatory napoleon dynamite style fistpump if it does #anyway hi 🫣 im still scuttling around like crecher but im making so much progress on ouro stuff #been really enjoying S' character portraits and incorporating more hints of Oakwerths architecture into their design #thinking of adding some porcelain caps to their horns #happy to share some sneak peeks if you forgive me for not being very social :]#i have 722 asks right now! seven hundred and twenty two. that is a dizzying nr and i honestly don't even know where to start #hopefully it gets neater once the ouro blog is up. pffft a girl can hope #i cannot thank you enough for your kind words and evocative q's #(everytime something new comes in it feels like seeing the first spring flowers) it really fuels me #i am working on the not so secret secret project for a while longer #who would've thunk i'd be more productive when not spending so much time on social media. honestly its a mystery #i hope you are doing well ✨#*skedaddles back offline*

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boxwinebaddie · 10 days

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an uncle nina check in <3

hi team! thanks for sticking around! i know my blog isn't always the most exciting and enriching place in the world in terms of content, but i am very /content/ to have you all here. <3333

i promise, oddly enough, i have A TON of inspiration and ideas for all my weird styles ( if you're curious about anything please lmk! i've been trying to flesh out my aus out lately ), i've just been in a major bummer depression era lately, so it's hard for me to get my asks done and i'm having a hard time committing to finishing my writing. :<

i think it's because of stress and my bipolar, but i am trying to get back on the horse! ( are we all laughing at the idea of me trying to get on a horse? i'd start crying help city girl fail moment for me ) yeehaw!

and while, unfortunately due to the instability ( fabulous legendary iconery ) of my pretty girl popstar personality, i do not know whether i will be answering almost no questions or one million, regardless of that, i just wanted to let you know, i'm still here, still kicking my feet, twirling my hair, cooking...i'm just really trying not to force myself to put out anything i don't like...and only do what makes me truly happy.

however, nothing, my dear sweet e-darlings...

makes me happier than coming home to all of you. <333

so thank you for flooding even the darkest corners of my life with bright light, supporting my phantom fics and being wonderful,

uncle nina xx

#nina speaks #hi my loves #idk what the point of this was #i just know my blog is really inconsistent and i know i dont really post anything or anything that useful #but i wanted you to know that i love you very much and i still care a lot about all of you and all my content actually #which i have been fleshing out in notebooks and google docs i've been doing lots of world building and character study #so feel free to ask me something challenging about any part of my nina sp auniverse that interests u itll make my brain work #i've also been taking very silly but dilligent notes abt what ravesey style looks like for ter so if u want to laff at those u can #i just love taking notes on detail and understanding exactly what characters look like or what settings appear like idk #might be some experimental writing on here i like doing different mediums like i was being silly #and started writing a netflix trailer for rm haha i also have been doing weird personality tests and questionnaires #i've been trying to think very deeply about tkak and my tfbw styles if u have any questions there and am deep plotting rm #trying to be impactful while also keeping things fun and learning to enjoy myself again i suppose #so again thakn u for being here sorry its weird on here but thank u for supporting me as i learn and grow my sunshines #also ik i have a ton of asks and uve already asked me so many things so never feel inclined to message me #but i love hearing what ur curious about hopefully i can answer some stuff eventually but again im on a break #i'm here but i'm not this is a safe place we try and fail we have fun and promote style world domination thru my weird styles #ilysm i'm shutting up now i promise i'm still here i'm just trying to be healthy and happy esp rn when i am not emotionally well #gotta protect my peace and my vibe palace but im still here!#MWAH MWAH MWAAAAAH #really trying to heal my inner child or like the girl in me that liked to write silly stories and create crazy things #weird hcs big dramatic plots silly stuff...i want to honor that girl because she was happy and free and had fun #and i want to do that again so lets have fun guys #no judgement no seriousness just good vibes and good reads #welcome to the uncle nina learns to laugh again arc #i hope you enjoy it

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golden-jeon-jungkook · 29 days

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...

#this blog is going to be on pause for a while (my queue of reblogs will be on pause too)#but I might reblog some things occasionally because I am going to check on my notifications and etc #I know I did go on a short hiatus not long ago but this time it will be longer for sure #I might only continue with my 'bts chapter one mv series' gifsets and maybe I will do a set or two whenever boys will release something #I love making gifs but seeing people complaining here about notes and some words by some content creators made me so upset #to the point that I don't want to gif bts content anymore for now #though I am thankful for all likes and reblogs + lovely comments from people on my posts #and I am thankful for amazing followers I gained while being here for 5 full years & more to come I hope #I wasn't really active before but tried to be now and make more gifs and etc #I am like an outsider in this community so nobody will care #but I still decided to share my thoughts if anyone does care #see you soon hopefully #everyone be happy and stay safe 💜

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topnotchquark · 1 month

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Will need to channel my inner Pecco for the next few months ahead 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

#digging myself into a hole then hopefully digging myself out of a hole #carrying a mountain on my shoulders but trying not to look like it #needing to do something purely for my desire to prove my worth when nobody really expects it #staying set and determined despite the fear #using everything I have at my disposal #looking at my own floppage in the eyes and accepting it and living through it without letting it tighten around my throat too much #🚬🚬🚬#I will dip in and out of this blog for a bit but I love everyone and I will be back very soon #personal

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kyouka-supremacy · 2 months

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Mmmhh...

#(Basically rant on my last two posts)#I know I've said it before and sorry for coming off as annoying–#but I really wish we still had a central bsd blog on Tumblr like fy-bungoustraydogs or bsd-central or things of the kind.#I think now everyone rushes to post news first. And although there's merit to it in knowing news as soon as they happen‚#in the long run the death of this kind of central official content ***fan*** blogs is such a huge loss of fandom spaces‚#especially for the archiving purposes they solved. Especially today that T/witter and G/oogle have basically become unusable.#Literally. Literally. I've been doing official content archiving since I was 11 #(because that's the very specific kind of mental illness I have)#and let me tell you that the quality of web search and especially reverse image search only got worse–#in a way that is very evident and noticeable. Which is crazy tbh and not how things should work.#If anyone would like to start a bsd-central kind of blog I'll be the first one to follow.#Actually if anyone actually wants to establish it feel free to contact me and I'll be more than happy to share the resources I have!!!!#It just needs to be something multi-modded for a series of reasons I won't get into right now #I just can't personally do it (not as main admin at least) because that would be modding my FIFTH active bsd blog–#and that's a little too much even for me.#On top of some ethical concerns I have regarding whether it'd be fair for me to mod a fandom central bsd blog–#when I feel like I can't genuinely share the same amount of love for the franchise other fans share #On top of. You know. Getting a degree eventually hopefully.#Then years after the blog has been solidly enstablished and aquired enough credibility it could even open a free donations found to invest–#in buying and scanning and releasing bsd content that hasn't been shared yet like the guidebooks or illustration books or everything else–#for everyone to see...#The dream. (Is realistically never going to happen) (Won't stop me from daydreaming about it every day)#((Still salty I couldn't afford the guidebooks only due to the shipment prices. I *would* have scanned and uploaded them.))#That was a long and idealistic rant. Kyotag out #Edit: *Modding my SIXTH bsd blog #Apparently I mod so many blogs I lost count of them

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northern-passage · 1 year

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Genuine thought as a fellow trans dude, I’ve seen a lot of (obviously non-serious) questions on other blogs about characters’ genitals such as “how does it look like?” and similar, and I think we all know & understand that such questions are extremely inappropriate to ask and (I hope) no one would actually go around asking these questions irl. Idk, I think we should treat trans characters just like cis ones, without any special “precautions”, so to normalise them and not make cis people treat them like fragile boxes, a thing which happens to a lot of us irl. Hope this doesn’t come off as an attack or anything lol.

no worries, i didn't take this as an attack at all. i actually agree with you, that's why i mentioned feeling conflicted about it and also mentioned that i've changed my stance on how i felt about handling Noel and Clementine in game and in explicit intimate scenes.

however, for me the problem comes from the fact that people... don't ask these kinds of questions about cis characters? i suppose people do get cheeky "who is the biggest 🤪" asks but i would hardly compare the two. to be a bit crude, no one is going to be asking if a cis character has a dick or not, or "what does it look like". of course it's natural for people to be curious, and i honestly encourage the open discussion and am happy to see trans bodies being talked about more in a positive way, but not everyone is going to be comfortable with it due to the inescapable transphobia online and in the community. sending me that kind of ask is like sending out an invitation for a debate or a discussion that i don't necessarily want to have. i also just don't think people should default to asking a random IF author on tumblr dot com to describe what bottom growth looks like.

and with most of these asks typically coming from someone who is anonymous, i have no way of truly knowing what the tone is, what their intentions are or why this is being asked - is it another trans person? or maybe someone who is just genuinely curious? or, more likely in my experience, is it someone who is going to immediately follow up this message with something transphobic after i answer? do i want to roll the dice and find out?

so while i agree with what you're saying, it's important to consider the context and the reality we live in. the IF community is not kind to trans people or trans characters. and as a trans person, my first priority is protecting myself and my mental health. so what i mean when i say "precautions," is that those precautions are for me, because i've had to deal with transphobic harassment here for years now, and i try to mitigate it as much as i can. it's also for my personal comfort - again, to be blunt, i'm simply just not comfortable discussing a trans character's genitals with anonymous strangers on the internet. it makes me feel vulnerable.

also i do want to say i didn't mean for any of that to come across as a dig at other authors - if you're comfortable answering those kinds of questions, that's really only something you can decide for yourself. like i said, this is just coming from my own experiences in IF and for my own personal comfort - i have previously talked a lot about trans stuff and gender and sexuality here, when i'm feeling up to it, but it is something that is very draining for me and can also be very upsetting.

basically: i do agree that it's important not to other trans characters or treat them any differently than cis characters, but i also think there are ways to do it that don't require me answering invasive questions or questions that i don't feel comfortable with as a real life trans person, you know what i mean?

#hopefully this better explains what i was trying to say #again no worries anon i've had this exact conversation before with other trans people #and it's something that i don't think has a perfect solution esp with the current... climate #and especially online with the anonymity it makes these topics really touchy. you don't know who is reading this or who is interacting #if it's sincere or in bad faith #things have changed a lot in the IF community for the better but it's still not safe and i always advocate for an author to protect #themself first #back when i started tnp it was not at all common for ppl to list characters as cis #really it was only nb or trans characters that got listed in that way #and it's why i chose not to do that and why i wanted the player to find out lea and merry was trans at the same time as the hunter #same with noel and clem and their privacy #giving them that agency was important to me #and it's still important to me now #but i got a lot of harassment because of that. the lea reveal didnt even end up in game it was on the blog and it was weeks of harassment #afterwards that still makes me anxious to this day whenever i talk about lea's transness #so basically like. it comes down to what someone is comfortable with and what they're mentally able to handle #edit: thinkin abt it more &im going to be honest if someone sent me an ask that said ‘what does it look like’ i would be very Not Happy #like cis people & cis characters do Not get treated that way so why would i allow it for my trans characters #so i stand by saying that these asks are inappropriate like. i obviously dont know the context of what ur referencing #but that’s a hard no from me personally either way #to me as a trans person that question in itself is othering and objectifying #ask #anonymous

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vanillabat99 · 3 months

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I don't remember if I said anything here, but I finally got into the Chronic Pain Clinic!! I've had my introductory appointments, and tomorrow I see an occupational therapist!! For the first time, I finally feel like I'm gonna actually get somewhere with my pain, and it's such a relief :3

I've set some goals too!! The main one would be to be able to shower consistently, since I struggle a lot with just getting clean once a week. My other goal is to cook or bake something once a week!! I also put out a third, not so realistic goal, of being able to stand for a choir performance!! The first two are more important to me, but the last one would be nice, even if it's just once.

#ive had quite the journey with my pain tbh.#the things that have helped me most are. not something docs would prescribe. or something ive seen anyone post about.#but hopefully i can get some good day-to-day management help with these classes/appointments :3 #apparently having Bed Days is not something i should be doing. which means i need a major overhaul.#ive had OTs come to my house a couple times but they werent really helpful since they couldnt cover any costs.#so i wonder what tomorrow will be like.#batty blogging #text #trying not to doompost so much today

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darkeneddawningmain · 1 year

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I live! And I'm writing a fic

Hello, everyone! :) I've re-started the process of moving this blog over to a side blog (@darkeneddawning) when I have time. End goal is to have all my art and stuff from here over there, so my main blog (this one) can be used for everything. The side blog will be where I post new phandom art and stuff.

Hopefully the transfer isn't too confusing for everyone. If you want to follow me to see my phandom art and stuff, you might want to wait until my side blog is all caught up, or you'll be spammed with me reblogging all of my old art over there for the next while. I'll announce on this blog when it's done and wait at least a week so people have time to unfollow this blog if they don't want my reblogs of everything I like to clutter up their dashes.

But I'm too impatient to wait until I'm done with that before I start posting again, so here's a blurb from the DP x DC Circus Gothica crossover fic I'm writing! It's going to be a while before I can post it since I've got a lot going on and I'm a very slow writer so far, but I'm hoping posting about it will keep me motivated to continue working on it :)

It's not a very long blurb, but I'll put it under a read more anyway (along with a synopsis of the fic):

Fic synopsis:

Wait, but if I’m mind controlled, and you’re mind controlled, then who’s catching the evil ringmaster??

Jason wasn’t expecting to join the suspicious circus he was investigating on Dick’s behalf, but a day in found him planning a heist with his new posse of co-slaves. At least getting in on the action gave him the answers he was looking for, as well as some others to questions he’d forgotten he was still asking.

Or: A new circus rolls into Bludhaven, trailing a history of too many pilfered towns to be a coincidence. Dick asks Jason to look into it on account of Dick’s circus related trauma. Jason was expecting to find evidence, not a one-way ticket to minion town, or a mysterious boy who somehow calmed the insatiable waters of the pit. Who is this boy, and what can he teach Jason about himself?

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Though he felt compelled to come, he didn’t know what was wanted of him now that he was here.

“This area is off limits to guests. Can I help you?”

That reaper kid from the performance, head attached, was looking at Jason with a raised brow. The same Red color that was swirling around Jason’s brain occupied the kid’s irises. Now he was up close, Jason could see how the kid’s stage eyeliner was only a slight enhancement to the genuine dark circles under his eyes. With those in addition to the gaunt hollowness of his cheeks, the kid looked like he hadn’t slept in years.

Jason smiled. It wasn’t a natural smile, but the Red liked it. “I’m here to, uh… cross over to the dark side?” That was all the Red was giving him to work with.

Reaper kid squinted at him, then drew back in surprise. “Woah, I totally thought you were human. Is that a disguise?” he asked, walking up to Jason.

“Disguise?” Jason glanced down at his body like it would clue him in to what reaper kid was talking about. He looked plenty human to himself. “What else would I be?” Was this important to the Red’s mission? Red was starting to feel a little more impatient.

“Uh, you know,” the kid gave a dismissive hand wave, but clarified: “Dead?”

#danny phantom #dp x dc #circus gothica #danny fenton #jason todd #I'm still hammering out the details but I have the main plot figured out #it specifies that danny's head is attached bc it comes off as part of the show #most of my batfam knowledge comes from dp x dc fics so hopefully I don't egregiously mischaracterize them #also are there specific tags the phandom uses for stuff like this that anyone would want me to use in the future?#bc I know I used to stay caught up on my favorite tags in the day and proper tagging/categorization is something I appreciated from others #I still don't want to post on this blog too much before the transfer is complete since I don't want to make the transition too confusing #this blog has gained a few new followers recently (that aren't spam bots) and I worry that the move is going to be annoying for people #honestly I shouldn't post this bc it probably is going to make the move messier if I do #but I really want to get back into participating instead of just lurking #and hinging participation on an intimidating obstacle has prevented me from doing anything for too long #I literally stopped posting on tumblr all that time ago bc I couldn't find a solution to how I couldn't reblog posts to a side blog easily #I tried over and over to figure out a way to reassign which blog was my main #I tried using a side blog as my everything blog and it was not doable for me #I've never seen anyone else make a transition like this so it's kind of embarrassing #but it's still the best solution I've come up with so please bear with me

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