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#hidan speaks
holyhidan · 9 days ago
Omfg, the people on TikTok drive me fucking nuts sometimes. The purity culture shit is getting out of hand. I keep seeing them jumping down the throats of minors for being attracted to characters that are minors. Apparently, it’s CP. There’s absolutely no way to win with them
it is actually so exhausting and makes me just wanna delete tiktok. maybe i’m like too chill but i could not be bothered to give a single fuck about what kind of content someone posts. if it’s something that really bothers me then i’ll block them. simple as that. is that hard? apparently. you can’t do shit these days without someone getting heated about it. smh.
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holyhidan · 9 days ago
imma speak on this topic once just to say my favorite thing about tumblr is that no one here gives an actual fuck. anitok really cancelling people for saying one lewd thing about Yuuji, Megumi, etc bc of their age and have the audacity to call the person “lewding” them a pedophile. that’s fucked up bro and a HEAVY accusation to make. that’s like the definition of gaslighting. oh baby i could speak much more about this but i’m gonna restrain myself before i get carried away.
basically i just wanted to say thank you tumblr community for not giving a fuck and giving me a safe place to speak freely without being told to die :)
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realistically hidan would be a virgin because the only pleasure that jashinism allows is pain. jashanists are allowed to have other pleasures such as sex or alcohol if they prayed after, but given that hidan is so dedicated to his god he would probably stay a virgin. (im very sorry you did not ask. I just thought that it was interesting-)
That is actually interesting thank you:3 but I feel as though maybe JUST MAYBE it could be a possibility
But what a good religious boy- cool dude
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is hidan packing
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Is hidan a virgin
No. Have you seen that guy? No one with hair like that is a virgin.
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orihararin · 8 months ago
my icon on discord is obito now because i kin but i did also get assigned Hidan kin by a quiz which is correct but also i feel bad kinning both lol
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noodlefools · 12 months ago
Kakuzo And Hidan?
Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY
regular day to day hidan is not attractive to me in a more than hang-out way. however. when he’s licking blood off a weapon or in shinigami mode u can bump that up to a Gorgeous
Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY
There’s not a time when i don’t want to marry kakuzu tbh like covered up? grungy ripped pants w/ his titties out? full on eldritch abomination coming apart at the literal seams? sign me UP 
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toxicart · a year ago
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and with that stuff
I also found these drawings of Hidan and Kakuzu
clearly the last two were heavily referenced or outright stolen concepts that just had Hidan’s face thrown on, which I know is shitty but it was high school. the bottom is directly from a deadpool comic I had at the time smh.
still love these two idiots as well
one of the best arcs in the manga (one of the best fight scenes in the garbage anime) but had one of the shittiest most anti-climatic endings
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judas-had-a-crown · a year ago
Wow, the layout of your blog is just - wow! So organised. So easy to navigate. I'm amazed. All the kudos! --kakuzuisabigidiotwholoveshidan
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*sneaks out of the void and back here due notification and to hug you*
Hello @kakuzuisabigidiotwholoveshidan ! Aw thank you so much, it’s so nice of you to compliment the layout
*sneaks back into the void to cry over term paper and my three untranslated kakuhida wips*
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scarletcrossed · 15 days ago
first of all LOVE SEEING MY MAN KAKUZU GET SOME LOVE AND RESPECT I HAVE BEEN THIRSTING SINCE I WAS LIKE 15 JFDJGGJFDGNFJID second ur devotional writing is so good!!! i really wanna do some but i always worry about it being cringey and shit which i really need to move past dfjgjfgjdfb im also really intrigued by whomever/whatever it is you write about, ive seen other witches on here mention the witch father and man in black but im not entirely sure as to who/what he is, is there anywhere i can read about him? thank ur for time have a nice day!
I needed a bit to think over my response to this ask, forgive the delay. My life is also still a whirlwind of storms, so this response may read a little rushed than I’d prefer it to be.
To start with— yes. God, yes. Kakuzu is a dream, and he needs more recognition. I’m upset that my autocorrect changed Hidan’s name to HUDSON in the tags (of all the fucking names—), because him I also adore. But he’s a thirst trap and that GILF has me sweating.
As for the rest of the ask, thank you so much. It always makes my heart flutter whenever my writings get notes— likes/reblogs, it just makes me happy that someone else has read them and enjoyed them or maybe perhaps found a glimmer of what I speak of in between their words.
When it comes to the nature of the writings, the God behind the letters, I’m unsure how to answer. I am not the best person to ask about the Man in Black, as my road has merely just been paved and my feet are not weary enough to know of what stones will harden my soles. So forgive me, please, but I don’t know how to answer where to find the Witch Father.
My journey to his feet has been long and strange, with winding turns and wrong exits. I suspect the experiences amongst others is a little similar, as he enjoys to give fades and watch you scramble back onto the right road. Not out of malice or cruelty, no. But to see the determination you have.
That is, at least, my thinking.
He is a god of nothing, of what lies in between thresholds, and of the darkness that sweeps through the world when the sun rests. A man dressed in black that stands at the crossroads—any and all crossroads—and waits with words covered in honey and poison, waiting for you to pick.
I’ve found He exists in hints among the world.
In the smell of jasmine that hits your nose despite there being no flowers nearby, of moss growing to slowly overtake cobblestones, in that first touch of the violin before the rest of the orchestra takes hold, of the smell of rain just before the hurricane sweeps the land.
He is the taste of blood in your tongue after you bite it to hold back words you wish you could say.
He is the pain of loss and grief when you remember that you loved.
But most of all, he does not run by your rules or mine. He is wild. Untamed. He lives and breathes the hunt, is more than familiar with survival, and recognises the desire in the hearts of those wanting to become more than what the world has given them.
You can try and find him in books and in the words of other witches, but ultimately he will be found if he wants to be found. I suspect my devotional writings are a way I take part in his dance, a way for him to extend his reach to someone else that’s been looking for him.
If you’re willing to pay the price, he could come and accept your trade.
But it depends. Is it worth his while to meet you?
Is it worth your while to run into the witchfather and live with the consequences?
If I find any books at all that have helped me in my journey to find him, I’ll reblog this post and compile a list of what could be a decent direction. I know Gemma Gary is an incredible person and has some good books that are good, but off the top of my head I can’t name anything else right now.
As for your own writings— I post mine, yes. But you don’t have to post yours. Your prayers are between you and the gods. Anyone else is simply a guest that has been granted the honour of spectating.
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torubabe · 24 days ago
ೃ⁀➷ 𝐣𝐮𝐣𝐮’𝐬 𝟏𝐊 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥
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first - u. itachi
pairing: uchiha itachi × reader ︴wc: 1.4k
5: ‘the first words your soulmate says to you are written on your wrist moments after.’
genre: soulmate!AU, modern college!AU, angst, fluffy ending
requested by: anon
warnings: some bullying, hidan and deidara being assholes, implied foul play
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“still nothin’ on your wrist?”
you shake your head, dejected, watching as your friends look at each other in pity. it’s like torture, being approched by them every day before, during or after classes with hopeful eyes, thinking you might have found the one. it’s been like this since high school when the first ones from your friend group found their soulmates one after another.
now in your senior year of college, you’re the only one in your group with blank wrists while there’s more and more students on campus who boast with the romantic pickup lines and sweet words that appear on their wrists, the first words of their fated loved ones. you’re aware that you still have plenty of time, but sometimes, you feel like you are running out of time. it’s hard not to think that when everyone around you had already been successful.
it makes you feel like a lost cause, what if - although it’s absolutely stupid to think and considered impossible - you don’t even have a soulmate?
you are so deepened in your doubtful thoughts that you don’t notice your friends having left your side long ago... replaced by the infamous soccer team approaching you. they are the weirdest bunch you had the pleasure of meeting, most of them aren’t even that bad for jocks, they are merely minding their own business and you like that, but it always has to be the same two annoying guys who mess with you. hidan and deidara.
“still no one, eternal bachelorette?” hidan mocks sympathy as he gazes at you and his blonde teammate snorts. “you’ll probably find him in ten years or so, don’t worry.” you laugh through your nose, while their words could have saddened you to such a point that you always ended up running away in tears as a freshman, you just feel bitter. how come even they had found their significant others and you haven’t?
“you two need to find something better if you want to make me cry”, you mumble, thinking they’d walk away from your boring self that didn’t give them what they wanted, but your words seem to give them an idea. they seem to enjoy their newly-found passion of teasing you for being one of the only ones to be on your own still. “okay, imagine you’re about to have your first conversation with someone you’re sure is your soulmate one day”, deidara starts, leaning against the locker next to yours with his arms crossed in front of his chest, “after you tell him something like ‘i think we’re soulmates’, and he just straight up tells you that he’d rather die than be your soulmate! wouldn’t that be bombastically dramatic? imagine carrying those words on your wrist for the rest of your life!”
their boisterous laughter that follows after deidara’s exceptional skills of mimicking voices makes you stare into your locker blankly. yeah, this hurt. the possibility of that happening, especially thinking back to failed confessions and harsh rejections in the past couple of years, makes your heart ache.
before you can shut your locker and head to your next class sullenly, someone speaks up from behind you three. “hidan, deidara.” his voice is calm and as smooth as silk, making chills run down your spine at the sound of it. “leave her alone.” 
itachi, the heartthrob of the university. he’s good-looking, a great athlete, is always at the top of all his classes, and has a surprisingly good reputation for someone that popular. you see it though, how he offers his help to students who are not as good as him, or motivates underclassmen who couldn’t make it to the starting lineup or get benched. he’s quiet and might look passive, but you believe that he’s a good person despite the people he is surrounded by. but come to think of it, the only one itachi ever hangs out with is kisame. he tends to just avoid the rest despite them being teammates.
“fine...” the two grumble and before they can drag your mood down even more, you slam your locker shut and turn around to look into a pair of pitch black eyes. you don’t bother to say anything as you turn away from the group and leave with quite the heavy heart, the possibility of meeting someone who doesn’t want you sending you into a whole new dimension of worry and doubt.
itachi’s dark eyes linger on your slumped figure until it disappears, and he cracks his knuckles quietly while heading to practice with hidan and deidara who are still chuckling among each other. today seems like a good day to put aside all tactics and add some fouls to get his message across. their coach surely wouldn’t say anything, because itachi never played with ill intentions.
the next morning, you're having trouble carrying a very important project to your chemistry lecture. two figures run into you, and you prepare for the onslaught of hurtful words, but your eyes go wide when their large hands grab your project. they’re going to destroy it... if they do this, you will-
“chemistry hall one or two?” hidan’s voice is gruff as he secures the box in his arms, and it’s only then that you see the faint bruise on the bridge of his nose. deidara huffs, taking your heavy books, a few wounds gracing his elbows and forearms. they look like they face planted it during practice, hard. it almost makes you laugh, whoever did it deserves the biggest kiss. “two...”, you respond indifferently, enjoying how everyone you walk past starts talking about how the two biggest bullies enslaved themselves to someone.
itachi is watching the scene from his locker, a ghostly smile gracing his lips when he sees the peaceful look on your face. this was worth it.
it wasn’t hard for you to figure out that itachi was the one who ‘helped’ you out. that’s why you’ve been looking for him for the rest of the day, but he’s nowhere to be found. itachi, who sticks out like a sore thumb with his looks, has disappeared. you heard once or twice that he has the tendency to skip classes sometimes, but he always attends practice. so you run to the big soccer field to approach him.
and there he is, dressed in his jersey and shorts as he talks to a few of his teammates, and you see hidan and deidara scowling in a corner far away from itachi. they haven’t started practicing yet how it seems, and their coach is also not there yet. luckily, you don’t have to embarrass yourself by running over to them because the orange-haired captain notices you and points in your direction.
all eyes are on you for a second, which embarrasses you greatly, but itachi leaves his teammates behind to walk towards you with a soft smile on his face. you can’t help but get nervous, and absolutely can’t stop yourself from making a fool of yourself.
“wait a second, i don’t want to mess up my first words incase-”, you start babbling, eyes going wide in panic seconds later, “-oh shoot.” you look down, face heating up as you feel humiliated, but itachi’s soft laughter makes you face him again. this time, you start blushing because of how pretty he is.
“i think it might be too late for that”, he speaks, and widens his eyes when he realized that he messed up himself, “oh well...” you two burst into laughter and start looking at your wrists expectantly, hearts palpitating. you just have to be soulmates, it feels so right. you gasp when the first letters start appearing on the inside of your wrist, and the boy in front of you looks just as stunned. you laugh with tears filling your eyes and soon dropping down your cheeks. “we... we really are-”, you mumble, and itachi nods, “we are.”
he takes your hand softly and leads you away from the soccer fields, ignoring his friends calling out to him questioningly as he never missed practice. “w-what about practice?”, you ask, still in disbelief that you’ve found your soulmate as you try to wipe your eyes dry. itachi smiles down at you. “i couldn’t care less. i’m glad that i’ve found you”, he admits, thumb rubbing over the back of your hand softly as all your worries are washed away.
you might not have exchanged the sweetest words with each other, and while it will be rather funny than heartwarming to remember the moment you spoke your first words to each other, you’d still boast.
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tagged: @throughtheinterstices @frankenstein852
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kyousei · a month ago
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     @insouldious​​ sᴀɪᴅ: Kakuzu~ the kind of person they get along with the best // multimuse ask meme
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their general personality
Calm before the storm, do Not piss him off, would sell your organs on the black market for five dollars, money can buy happiness.
their hobbies
Reading, crossword puzzles, finances, newspaper conspiracy theory connector, sewing Hidan’s head back to his body, bounty hunting.
things they like
Money, money, money, oh and, uh... money. 
things they dislike
Religion, things that don’t make him money, sad and minuscule bounties, family pictures.
some things people do that annoy them
Speak in his general direction, require anything of him that does not involve payment.
how easily they form friendships
No. Don’t bother.
how easily they get crushes
Once and that didn’t end very well. Never again.
the kind of person they get along with the best
People with a clear vision of what they want, or those who understand the importance of wealth.
the kind of person they get along with the worst
Everyone else.
whether or not they could get along with your muse(s)
If by “get along” you mean “quietly plot their demise while sipping tea” then yes. I have more hope with Madara than the Senju’s.
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languagestudymaterials · 2 months ago
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てくる・または・てきている ・ んじゃねえ  grammar
いちいち花なんか 買ってくるんじゃねえ
いちいち has a negative connotation. Though it means "one by one." It is only used to describe negative actions being done "one by one.” It describes something annoying/trivial/unnecessary is done all the time. 
なんか  noun + なんか is used when you belittle something, someone or express your strong emotion, emphasize what comes before in a negative way
んじゃねえ  (のではない formal)
When you describe some situation in an explanatory tone / make your point/ emphasize the fact or your opinion.
When you give someone an order or suggestion.
When you talk about probability. Probably…/When you express your opinion, I think…/ When you make your point (affirmative sentences)
When you question something.(could be translates to question tags)
いつもどおり as usual, all the time
買ってくる to buy and bring. Yuuji’s granddad is referring to something that is happening all the time; it’s not a past action or something that has already happened.
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It can be very confusing and often gets lost in translation (I’ll use ~てくる as a generic term, but the rules provided don’t define  てくる (as opposed to てきた )). To get a better understanding of it, we need to be able to distinguish between an actual physical movement and an abstract concept.
In this case, the verbs are typically written in  漢字, but this is not always the case. It’s important to notice/analyze your surroundings to determine what an additional nuance ~てくる conveys.
It indicates that whoever performs the action marked by ~て, ends up at the speaker’s location. Yuuji (the doer) bought the flowers and went to his granddad (speaker’s location). (I’ve always thought that the doer and the speaker must be the same person.)
 ワインを買ってきてください  My friend is the doer of the action (buying and bringing wine). Since I’m the speaker, she’s going to end up at my location. A motion/action that is coming the speaker’s way. Someone is running towards you or bringing flowers (towards) you. 買ってきた = bought something and you brought it home/where you are.
If you hear:
ランチにパンを買ってきたよ!I got some bread for lunch! You know they have the bread in hand/with them.
ランチにパンを買った means they got some bread for lunch, but we don't know where they stored them. They don’t have it with them for sure.
出てきた = someone came out (from a house) and now that person is next to me/I can see them.
出た = someone came out but where they are, I don’t know. Blunt statement.
It can either refer to the moment of speaking (when I say  出てきた  I can see the person or a thing with my own eyes) or when we recall events (we don’t see the thing or person at the moment of speaking, but when the situation happened we could see them)
No physical motion: (this one is confusing)
When there is no physical motion involved, ~てくる indicates a process of emergence; or it shows that something has been happening for a while now. (something started in the past and continues up to the present and may continue in the future; incomplete time period)
In the abstract sense, it is important to understand  that ~てくる  has some relation to the present moment/moment of speaking and indicates a change.
These are general rules.
Now, let’s see what the difference between てくる and てきた is:
る verbs are called non-past verbs and show relation to the present and future (context will tell you which one it is)
た verbs refer to the past only.
てくる = from the moment of speaking to the future
てきた = from the past to the moment of speaking and possibly to the future; relation to the present moment and incomplete time period.
Megumi in episode 1. He’s rushing to the school because Yuuji’s senpais unwrapped Sukuna’s finger. He said something slightly different in the anime but the meaning is, more or less, the same.
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The number of curses has increased.
増える  ふえる to increase (abstract concept)
This way Megumi indicates that the number of curses HAS INCREASED – from the moment of unwrapping to the moment of speaking. There is a relation to the present situation/moment of speaking and it also suggests that the number of curses may increase further (incomplete time period).
Mei and other kages while fighting Madara
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近づく ちかづく to approach; to draw near; to get close​ (physical movement)
Madara hasn’t gotten close yet, but he is about to get close; he will get close in the future/he’s coming to Mei’s location.
“future” in this case doesn’t mean distant future, but immediate future.
You can combine it with ~ている(~てきていた・る)This one is tricky. It’s not like it is used often. But if you happen to see it, remember that てきている is just a combination of two grammar structures てくる  & ている. If you know what they mean separately, then you’ll be able to decipher the combined meaning. With the ている, though, remember to determine if your verb is a change verb or a non-change verb first. 
There’s also a set phrase 行ってきます
Naruto to himself when he was setting off to find Sasuke
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The translator aimed for a natural English.
Yuuji at his granddad’s grave
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じゃあ 行ってくるよ じいちゃん
Kakashi talks about Naruto and how Kyuubi got out during Gaara’s rescue mission. Jiraya comments:
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そうか… やはり 出てきたか
(physical movement)
か indicates a rhetorical question in this case.
Kyuubi “left” Naruto and showed up at the speaker’s location. In this case, Kakashi’s location is the speaker’s location (I know, Jiraya is the speaker here, but they are recalling the events.)
In the same scene, Tsunade says:
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(physical movement)
連れてきた  has its own entry in the dictionary, “to bring someone along”
Yamato is at the speaker’s location (Tsunade) and we can actually see him.
Asuma to Hidan in episode 77
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お前ら、暁 (Akatsuki) を拘束 または抹殺するよう 命を受けてきた 
(abstract concept)
または  either do A or B
拘束  こうそく restriction; restraint; binding; constraint​ [here: to capture; suru verb]
抹殺   まっさつ erasure; denial; obliteration; ignoring (an opinion)​ [here: to kill; suru verb]
Asuma has a choice to either kill them or capture them.
命  めい order; command
受ける うける here: to get
よう expresses “purpose.” It’s a reversed sentence ‘I received an order to (よう) capture or kill you’
受けてきた because the order is still valid at the moment of speaking. Plain past form would suggest that he got an order and… that’s it. It happened in the past and at the moment of speaking the order is no longer valid. He doesn’t have to perform the action anymore.
Jiraya is analyzing rinnegan users and their techniques
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(physical movement)
対象  たいしょう target (が because that’s a relative clause, and in relative clauses, we use が not は)
攻撃  こうげき  attack; assault; raid; onslaught; offensive
仕掛ける  しかける to start; to begin; to commence​;
攻撃をしかけてくる to make a move/an attack, but it implies that the attack is coming towards the speaker. 
かは indirect question + topic marker
More or less Jiraya said: You should be able to see what kind of an attack the target is going to make….
Madara <3 just showed up! A legendary entrance. That menacing glare… everyone is confused… pure chaos…Temari asks Oonoki who the person standing in front them might be since Oonoki has hired Akatsuki in the past many times he should know.
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暁 (Akatsuki) を利用してきた 
(abstract concept)
利用  りよう use; utilization; utilisation; application [suru verb; a bit more formal than 使う;
He's just using you! <- in such context you can only use 利用 not 使う <- this one is for physical action not abstract concepts.
Oonoki HAS HIRED Akatsuki multiple times in the past and at the moment of speaking this information is still valid.
た would suggest that Oonoki hired Akatsuki ONCE in the past
ている that he’s doing it at the moment of speaking (suru verbs are non-change verbs; ていた wouldn’t work either. I know, it can show a short habitual action, but an action that is no longer valid. Completed time period.)
する would refer to the future
So we need a verb suffix that shows a repetitive action that has some connection with the present situation.
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宿儺に耐えうる器なんて今後 生まれてくる保証はない
宿儺 (Sukuna)
耐えうる  たえうる  to withstand; to be able to endure​
器 うつわ  bowl; vessel; container​
今後 こんご from now on; hereafter​
保証  ほしょう  guarantee; security; assurance; pledge; warranty​ [suru verb]
生まれる vs.  生まれてくる
A baby will be born to this world vs. a baby will come to this world
The meaning of the two is the same and most of the time they can be used interchangeably. However, there is another minor nuance difference, which is not related to grammar. くる reminds the reader or the hearer that the subject of the sentence is, in this case, a vessel for Sukuna and it puts more focus on the vessel than a mother.
It’s not てくる grammar at all! We can’t even apply any of the definitions we talked about to this example.
Yuuji when he ate Sukuna’s second finger
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ぐはっ おええっ(unintelligible noises) まっず 笑えてくるわ
(abstract concept)
In this case, てくる indicates a process of emergence; it’s so gross (to the point where) I’ll start laughing. I feel like てくる used in its plain form usually indicates a process of emergence.
Yuuji to Gojo when Sukuna “came out” to tease Gojo
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悪い 先生 たまに出てくんだ
悪い  わるい anime way to say ‘sorry’
たまに sometimes (yeah, I know… 時々 is sometimes. But たまに is more common in real life)
んだ  Sorry, it gets out sometimes you know… more here and here
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senseitiddy · 2 months ago
Hush || Chapter 3
Note: I feel like so many of you guys are reading this🥺 thank you. Leave a like, reblog too if you’d like. This chapter was kind of short and I’m sorry if I’m not writing that frequently.
I still got school and that’s a pain ontop of everything else.
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The akatsuki was out doing their own things today. Missions, sacrifices-we both know who that is, etc. Rai was alone in the hideout. It was pretty lonely, and quiet. Very quiet.
Tobi kept her up all night showing her the action figures. He named everyone and told their back stories, which tired her out. But she wouldn’t tell him that, she loved how excited he got about it.
Rais POV
As much as I loved the peace and quiet, it was almost too quiet. I haven’t even been here for a full day, but god is this group so loud. Pain is a pain in the ass-pun intended.
But I know the first thing I’m going to do is clean this goddamn place. They live like a bunch of slobs, but who am IIIII to judge.
I slipped on a hoodie and some leggings before making my way out to the kitchen to clean. One, it’s cold as fuck in here and two, there’s sooo many dishes to clean.
“Might as well clean it up” I mumbled to myself and grabbed a sponge by the sink. it wasn’t even used!
It was about an hour when I got done with all the dishes, they were put away nicely and it looked presentable in here. “Ahaha they better fucking like it” I smiled to myself
I opened the fridge next and started grabbing whatever I could find. I’ll make them food too-now you better not be thinking I’m doing this to kiss Pains ass and make sure I stay in the Akatsuki. That is not the situation, I am just really bored. Clearly.
I know just the thing to make, PASTA! Everyone loves pasta, it’s so creamy and good and ugh I could die happily with it. Grabbing the noodles and a pan, I also grabbed the cheese and milk. Which was surprising, they actually had milk that wasn’t expired.
I hurried and cooked everything before I heard the front door open and shut, also met with a bunch of voices. Hehehe they are home.
3rd Person
The akatsuki members made their way to the kitchen, their noses guiding them along the way.
“No fucking way!” Hidan exclaimed taking a bowl off the table. “She seriously made this-you seriously made this?!” He looked at Rai
“W-well yeah. I got bored.” Rai said nervously now while the others grabbed bowls.
“Thank you so much Rai! You really didn’t have to do any of this. It smells amazing” Konan smiled and kissed her cheek in a friendly way.
“This doesn’t mean I’m accepting you so quickly.” Pain grunted and sat down away from everyone. ‘Little emo fuck’ Rai thought to herself
“Thank you, Rai Zuki” Itachi smiled appreciatingly and sat by Kisame.
“I don’t think that I can cook that well, but you guys are welcome.” Rai giggled a little
“Thank you Rai-senpai!” Tobi shouted hugging her tightly. “Tobi thinks the food tastes really good!”
“You’re welcome Tobi.” She chuckled pulling away from the hug and sat down.
“Itadakimasu!” They all said together and ate. Rai smiled wider to herself and took a bite of the food. She felt really happy, so far so good. Pain seemed to enjoy his food.
“How did the mission go?” Rae asked and got many responsises.
“Well I got my money so I’m fine”
“I sacrificed a girl with big titties”
“My puppet broke😞”
“Boring un”
“Tobi saw a butterfly!!”
And so on.
“Well I’m glad some of you had a nice day, I’m sorry that the others didn’t have a not so good day” she frowned. “But you’re home now so it’s okay”
Pain watches her carefully and rubbed the back of his neck. Something about her was radiating too much happiness. Maybe the smile? Maybe the way she talked? Everyone was seeming to enjoy it, but something about her was making him feel off.
Not like he was angry or anything, but it just felt weird. It’s been a while since he’s seen this much happiness in someone. She’s experienced pain, but is there enough that she’s learned to find peace?
That question could be answered by anyone who knew Rai personally. She lost her family, the only thing she had. Anyone else in her village didn’t accept her, she was different. Outsiders believed that the people in the dark were demons. There was not one trace of demon in her soul.
But getting revenge was a promise. Pain wondered how she could be so happy when she planned on murdering sound village ninjas and joining the akatsuki. But revenge was what she was living for, just like many of the akatsuki members.
Rai smiled taking everyone dishes and put them in the sink. “I’ll clean them, you guys just go sit down”
“Are you sure?” Kisame asked looking at the very short women.
“Of course, just go chill out” she chuckled and everyone walked out except for Pain. “Is something wrong?”
“I need to speak to you.” His deep voice scared Rai. He was so intimidating and looked like he could take her out quickly.
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makkoskafanfic · 2 months ago
WIP fic release
In which one Madara is the manager of the black metal band called the Akatsuki and shares a History with the Mayor of Konoha. 
@enquiringangel this might be slightly cheating as this one’s fairly recent and I might actually continue it if my brain cooperates. 
Madara wakes to a harrowing headache. He squints against the light, doing his best not to be sick and wishes he remembered to draw the curtains closed last night. It takes him some time to realise the pounding doesn’t only come from inside his skull - someone is knocking on the door of his hotel room as well.
He lurches to his feet and stumbles to the door to jerk it open.
“What,” he barks “is so urgent?”
“Wow, boss. You look like hell,” Obito takes a long look at him as he stands there in nothing but his boxers. “I could have lived without this sight.”
“Then go and bother someone else,” he tries to slam the door in the younger man’s face, but Obito holds it open with a hand. Madara feels too sick to fight, so he just wanders back to the bed and slumps down on it. “Let me die in peace.”
“Can’t do,” Obito says cheerfully. “It’s 10 already, we need to check out in an hour and we have to discuss the next steps of the tour before.”
Madara groans and pushes a pillow against his face. He then remembers it’s a hotel pillow, and who knows when it had been properly washed, so throws it away.
“Aren’t you supposed to be my assistant? Do something on your own for a change. I’m dying.”
“Are you hungover?”
“I wish I was. I hardly got to drink anything last night, as Kakuzu and Kisame got into a fight at the bar and I had to smooth things over.”
“A migraine then.”
“You don’t say.”
“Where are your meds?”
“Small bag in the big bag.”
Obito fishes the pills out and pours him a glass of water. He also wets a towel and handles it over to Madara, to lay it on his face. Madara likes him a bit more than he usually does in that moment. 
He approached Madara about half a year ago, asking him to hire him. He was family - which was a good enough reason in itself to decline him in Madara’s opinion. But he had that kicked puppy look in his eyes when the older man told him to get lost. He just couldn’t go back home, he said. Not after all that happened. 
He would have been a handsome guy, if not for the ugly scar on the right side of his face. There was some tragic love story in the background. In the end Madara was weak and offered him a job if he promised he would never again bore him with the details. He doesn’t want to be involved in the woes of a twenty-two years old. He has never really gotten over his own heartbreak from his early twenties, so he was hardly a suitable person to give any advice. 
“You will get over it,” he told him. “Or maybe you won’t. Either way, I couldn’t care less about this Rin and Kakashi, so never mention them again. Here’s your contract. Money is shit, but then, I don’t really have anything for you to do.” 
Obito signed without any questions and here he was now, giving Madara his painkillers, proving to be useful in the end. 
“Are the circus freaks awake yet?” me mutters from under his wet towel.
“I heard Hidan’s yelling, so probably they are.”
“Go and check on them, won’t you? It would be great to keep the schedule for once.”
“I’m more concerned about you. Have you considered you are too old for this life?”
Madara pulls the towel off his face and raises his head with an effort to glare at Obito.
“I’m forty-seven you disrespectful little shit. I’m not old.”
“Whatever you say, gramps. Do I need to help to get you into the shower?”
Madara scrunches the towel into a ball and throws it at Obito. It hits him on the neck with a satisfying wet smack. 
“Keep your hands to yourself and run me through the schedule.” 
He gets to his feet, feeling marginally better as the painkillers start to kick in. He definitely feels the age in his back and he stretches, but he is careful not to wince as Obito is watching. He leaves the bathroom door slightly ajar, allowing the voice of his so-called assistant to carry through. He doesn’t listen as he knows everything by heart, but he might as well let him play being important. Madara, as the meticulous person he is, doesn’t forget the details of the tour plan. It’s a useful trait to have for the manager of the band, although it probably would come as a surprise to the fans who remember Madara as a chaotic rock star.
He used to be quite famous, being on the stage for a good fifteen years. He had a carefully built image, with everything in the book - the sometimes sensual, sometimes rude and shocking lyrics, the wild guitar riffs, a voice that had a classical education but was put to the best use when screaming into the mic. He used to have the looks, with his long mane of hair, the wiry muscles on his chest and arms that made him look good shirtless on the stage.
The rumours, the gossip and scandals that came with that lifestyle never bothered him. They had very little foundation - outside his stage persona, Madara has always been a reserved man, but that wasn’t what the fans wanted to see and in his opinion everybody was entitled to the illusions they preferred.
Madara has always been a smart man, too. As he passed fourty, all that came with the show, the tours, the gigs, the albums, the photo shoots started to get too much. So he just quit it, without any plan in place with what he wanted to do with his life. 
He didn’t enjoy retirement, but then, it lasted about two months. He was approached by Yahiko, or as he became known on his stage name, by Pain, offering him the role of the manager for his newly formed black metal band, The Akatsuki. He already had the members, he explained, just needed someone with experience in the industry to help them break through.
Madara agreed to meet the band and realised that Yahiko-Pain, with his numerous piercings, spikey carrot-red hair and well formed messiah-complex was the least weird of them all still. He thought they wouldn’t last a month, but out of boredom he agreed to be their manager. It would be a laugh, he considered, some trash band with a manager who had no idea what he was doing.
Almost seven years have passed since. The Akatsuki have become surprisingly successful within their genre and Madara is still managing them. He didn’t even like them - on some days, like today, he outright loathes them - but he couldn’t figure out what else to do with the rest of his life.
By the time he checks out in the lobby, he feels mostly human again. The horrible migraine quilted down to an annoying, but bearable headache. He has his jacket zipped up to his chin, his hair up in a ponytail and large sunglasses covering most of his face, and nobody spares him a second glance. 
“Madara, you fucking bastard,” Hidan, the guitarist shrieks at him when he approaches their bus. Madara doesn’t even wince - he has accepted years ago that Hidan is incapable of speaking in a normal tone or without unnecessary swear words. While his skills on the guitar are mediocre at best, he is a vital part of the show.  One can always count on him to be shocking, offensive and obscene. He’s a considerable contributor to the spotlight the band gets on the media. “Last night was fucking awesome, man! The crowd just ate it all up! Where are we up next? Iwa? We will rock them! Haha! Kakuzu, you limp dick, do you get it? Rock them, as Iwa is…”
“Actually we’ve been in Iwa half a year ago,” Obito interrupts, as he still didn’t learn to just ignore Hidan. “That’s where we started the tour, remember. Our next stop is… Konoha,” he looks sour and Madara makes a mental note not to sit next to him on the drive. It’s going to 
be a long one and he can’t bear listening to him go off about Rin-Kakashi-Rin-Kakashi-Rin-Kakashi again.
Especially as he’s not the only one upset by going back to Konoha. It’s not the first time Madara will be back of course - he has left over twenty years ago, and the town has become too prominent to miss out on tours. He was a nervous wreck on all occasions before and he’s not sure this time will be different. Well over two decades have passed, but Madara is not very good at moving on.
They all climb into the bus, which is getting rather small or rather, their team is getting too big. The four members of the band, Madara, Obito, Pain’s lethargic girlfriend slash occasional keyboardist and the “arts” team who are responsible for everything that happens on the stage that’s not music, from pyrotechnics to setting up equipment.
Kakuzu, their bassist, is behind the wheels as he claimed a driver is just a waste of money and the others couldn’t care less about who was driving. Madara sits down next to him on the front seat as the man at least doesn’t talk much. They all settle slowly, Pain and Konan in the back, so they can make out as they usually do, Hidan bickering with the blond arts kid, Kisame, the drummer, grumbling something about ergonomy as he tries to fold his tall frame into the seat. Obito sits next to him, seeming ready to start off his tirade about his bloody annoying love triangle. 
Madara puts in some music so he doesn’t have to listen to any of them and decides on feigning sleep on the majority of the trip. He can already feel anxiety setting down inside his very bones. Going home isn’t something he looks forward to.
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senseitiddy · 2 months ago
Hush || Chapter Two
Note: I’ll try to get this story on a schedule. Even if it’s just a few people reading I still feel so grateful❤️❤️
Warning?: Hidans being a perv, I just wanna put a warning Incase it triggers someone
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Eyes trailed the girl from her toes to her head, a ‘hmph’ came from one of them. Rai stood in front of the group, starting to get anxious. No one was saying anything except taking her image in.
“So we’re just going to hire girls whenever now?” Sasori said looking at Pain.
“Sasori, I don’t think you realize who this is,” Kakuzu shook his head.
“Rai Zuki” Hidan bit his lip looking her up and down. “The last of the Zuki clan” Now this guy was making her nervous.
“It’s not settled if she’s staying yet, she has to show us if she’s worth it or not” Pain shook his head and walked out.
‘Stupid emo ginger’ Rai thought to herself. “Y-Yeah I’m Rai Zuki.” She glanced at everyone. They were such an array of people.
“Hidan, I should show you to my room,” He introduces himself, going to grab her side but Rai shuffled away from him.
“Hidan leave the girl alone!” Konan smacked him on the head causing Rai to chuckle. “That’s Sasori, Hidans pervy ass as you can see, Kakuzu, Kisame, Itachi, Deidara, and that’s Tobi”
The man with the orange mask was getting too giddy and jumping all over the place. He was almost like a child, “Hello Rai-senpai! Tobi welcomes you to the Akatsuki!” He said in his childish voice.
“Chill out, idiot. She just got here un.” Deidara shook his head at him.
“Hello Tobi” Rai smiled waving to him and he started giggling. “Hello everyone, it’s nice to meet all of you”
“You’re too cheerful.” Sasori rolled his eyes and walked out of the room
“What’s his problem?” Rai grumbled. “Stupid redhead. It’s always the gingers.”
Konan chuckled, “You’ll fit right in. Don’t worry about it. Now, we have another member, Zetsu. But you won’t see him that often. I’ll get someone to walk you arou-“
Rai let out a yelp and felt the stinging on her left ass cheek. She whipped around to see Hidan just biting his lip. “Do you not know boundaries?” She snapped
“Oh come on darling, I just can’t help it. Hey, you’re new, it would be nice to get you comfortable” Hidan went to grab her ass again but Konan smacked it away
“Leave her the hell alone. Stop harassing her.” Konan would NOT put up with watching a member harass/assault someone.
“Oh come on-....” Hidan stopped talking and everyone looked at him confused. “Ow. What THE FUCK MY DICK” He screamed in pain looking down at it.
“Hidan have some respect for her un. She’s new she doesn’t wanna hear about your dick” Deidara glared at him annoyed.
“No wait guys...I don’t think he’s got a boner” Kisame nodded over to Rai.
Rai’s brown eyes now have turned to a bright blue, and she was glaring at Hidan. “Touch me again and I’ll actually break your dick” she snapped while Hidan fell to the floor holding himself.
“What did you just do?” Konan looked at Rai in shock. Rai deactivated her eyes but someone cut her off when she was about to speak.
“The third eye is a dojutsu that belonged to the Zuki clan.” Itachi finally spoke up. He was quiet most of the time, but this really caught his interest. “It looks quite similar to the sharingan but it’s blue.”
“What’s it do?”
“Its used as like a genjutsu. She can make the opponent feel any amount of pain without there actually being any.” Kakuzu spoke now. “She messes with your brain last psychological abilities.”
“In other words, don’t fuck with me.” Rai turned her attention back to Hidan and glared at him. “Or you’ll regret it”
“Little do you know you make my boner raging hard” He smirked looking at her. Rai kicked him in his chest and he went back down to the ground.
“Anyways, Tobi would you like to show Rai around?” Konan smiled looking over at the overcheerful man.
“Tobi would love to show Rai-senpai around!” Tobi grabbed Rais hands and dragged her away. “Tobi thinks your third eye is so cool!”
“Thank you Tobi” Rai smiled trying to keep up with how he was running. ‘He seems to be such a hyper man. He talks in a child’s voice, it’s kind of cute’
“This is the kitchen! Tobi hasn’t seen anyone clean this place since last month” He pointed to the dishes all over the place. “It was supposed to be Deidara-senpais job but he never did it”
“ would look pretty in here without that.” Rai said looking at the pile. It was stacking up to the ceiling. How the hell could they just let it get this bad? Rai had dishes like this, but she had an excuse.
“Ooo let Tobi show you to the rooms! You’ll have to share a room with Tobi because Pain hasn’t got another one set up yet.”
‘Great. He could be a pervert like Hidan too’ Rai thought to herself and just followed the man around.
“Rai-senpai! Look this is the room!” It was surprisingly very tidy. It wasn’t exactly what Rai suspected, she thought there would be stuff all over the place.
“It’s very nice in here, Tobi.” She smiled looking around. She could get used to this place, it looked so nice here. Sure there were a few people she didn’t like, but this place is somewhere she might be able to call home.
Her second home.
“Tobi wants to know what Rai is thinking about” Tobi places his hand on her face to get her to look at him. He was a little worried, she was looking around all sadly. “Why is Senpai upset?”
“I’m fine, Tobi. I’m just a little emotional, this is the first place I’ll be in with people other than by myself” She forced a smile on her face to keep him from asking. He didn’t fall for it.
“I am here for you Rai.” Tobi smiled. He didn’t even talk in third person this time. “As a teammate I shall be here for my other!”
A real bright smile crept its way up to Rais face. “Thank you Tobi. The same goes for you” she smiled
Tobi smiled under his mask and grabbed her hands again. “OOO LET TOBI SHOW YOU HIS COOL ACTION FIGURES!”
Rai could already feel herself enjoying the Akatsuki. This is her new family.
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ladykissingfish · 2 months ago
Deidara: it’s getting worse. a lot worse. now I’m even DREAMING about this guy.
Deidara: he told me my hair looked nice yesterday and I stg I almost passed out
Deidara: how tf do I tell him I’m in love with him without sounding like a pathetic weirdo?!
Sasori: be honest, speak from your heart.
Sasori: you’re an amazing guy with a lot to offer.
Sasori: anyone with half a brain would be honored to be with you.
Sasori: oh and by the way ...
Sasori: ... your hair DID look great yesterday
Deidara: dude what
Deidara: SASORI?!
Sasori: yep.
Deidara: oh my god 😫 I swear to god I thought I was texting Hidan!
Deidara: ‘scuse me while I go die of embarrassment 😫😫😫
Sasori: what’s your favorite color?
Deidara: what?? um, green?
Sasori: and what’s your favorite food?
Deidara: fish? wait why are you asking me all this?
Sasori: so I know what to wear and where to take you for our first date. duh.
Sasori: I’ll be there in about 20 minutes. can’t wait to see you 💚
Deidara: jkvsgjdrkjbydsfbghnkddsjjngf
Deidara: OKAY! 💜
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ladykissingfish · 2 months ago
*Tobi and Deidara in the “backyard” of the Akatsuki hideout*
Tobi: Hey, Senpai?
Deidara, working on a sculpture: What, hm?
Tobi: How do you know when you like someone?
Deidara: *looks up* Huh??
Tobi: Tobi wants to know ... how do you know when you like someone? When ... when you want someone to be more than your friend?
Deidara: I .. I didn’t know you thought about things like that, Tobi, hm. And why the hell are you asking me??
Tobi: Because ... Deidara-senpai liked Sasori-san, right?
Deidara: ... I don’t want to talk about him anymore, hm. He’s dead. And ... and even if I HAD liked him? He never liked me back, hm.
Tobi: Did your stomach feel funny when you were near him?
Deidara: Tobi, please —
Tobi: Did your heart do somersaults in your clothes? Did you want to hug him and kiss him and feed him dango? Did you —
Deidara: Enough, hm! You’re speaking a bunch of bullshit, Tobi. Go away and leave me alo —
Tobi, revealing his Obito voice for the first time: Did you want to be near him all the time, even when he told you to leave him alone?
Deidara: *eyes super wide and clearly startled* W-what the —
Tobi, still in Obito voice, and lifting his mask and face cloth far enough to reveal his lips as he speaks: The worst pain in this world isn’t somebody not loving you back; because they could downright hate you, but they would still BE there. Living. Breathing. ALIVE. The agony comes after they die and you’re left with nothing, where even the very mention of them stings your heart like a wasp. You feel that pain, Deidara. I know you do. I’ve felt that despair in my life as well. But ... Deidara you’re beautiful. You’re beautiful and you’re smart and you’re funny. You would have been wasted on someone as emotionless as Sasori. You should have somebody that’s prepared to give you the full extent of their heart, to let you into their soul. Let me be —
Hidan: *walks up from behind* Hey fuckers; what are you two jerk-offs doing out here?
Tobi: *quickly readjusts his face covering and switches back to Tobi voice* Hiiii Hidan-san! You got any candy?!
Hidan: *pulls some chocolates from his pocket* Here ya go, kid. I swear dumbasses like you are the easiest people to keep happy.
Tobi: *walks over to Deidara and holds out a chocolate to him* Ya want one too, Senpai?
Deidara: *literally frozen in shock*
Hidan: What’s up your ass, blondie? Ya been out in the sun too long or what?
Tobi: Oh no! Senpai let the sun-monster eat him! Don’t worry; Tobi will take Senpai back to his ro—
Deidara: N-no! I’m fine, hm! I — I — I’m gonna go lay down, hm!
Deidara: *dashes away, nearly tripping over his own feet in his haste*
Tobi: *calling after him* Have a good nap, Senpai! Tobi will come check on you later!
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super-kame-love · 3 months ago
As you may recall, B and Aina had a long conversation about marriage a week before he popped the question to her. She had asked him why he’d never married prior to meeting her. Without going into every detail of what was said (another time, perhaps?), B told her that he’d simply never considered it for the longest time. He’d liked his freedom too much to relinquish it entirely. And then even after he’d started thinking about it, he hadn’t been able to find anyone he could get along with as a spouse. 
In fact, there had been a special lady in his life, many years before he’d ever heard of Aina. Yet neither of them had ever considered getting married, preferring to stay as they were. Even when the subject was brought up, it was never by either’s volition. 
That lady was Yugito, the last jinchūriki of Matatabi (the Two-Tails). 
As social and extroverted as B is, and as liberal as his stance is on who constitutes as friends and family, he has had few people in this life who could actually count as lifelong companions. After all, he’d spent a great deal of his life ostracized for being the jinchūriki for Gyuki. He had A, obviously, and Motoi, despite the latter’s avoidance of him out of guilt for the attempts he’d made on B’s life. 
Yugito, “one of the baddest” women he’s known, was another such person. 
She was similar to him in that she was connected to the Raikage family line through adoption. Her grandmother, Yumeko, was a ward of the Second Raikage and the previous jinchūriki for Matatabi. To paraphrase the Naruto Wiki, Yugito was made a jinchūriki at two years old, and after enduring a long and cruel training regimen forced upon her, she gained the ability to control her transformation into her Tailed Beast at will. She actually achieved this feat before B did, although B would develop a better relationship with his Tailed Beast in the long run. Which is astounding, given Gyuki’s long history of violent rampages that made Matatabi look tame! 
With Motoi stepping away and the rest of the village hating his guts, it was only natural for B to gravitate toward her for friendship, as someone who had been made an outcast for the same reasons. Though they were both legally related to the Raikage family, they were not raised together. B grew up alongside A, trained to be his partner, whereas Yugito was trained independently. 
Despite being the older of the two, B looked up to Yugito for her skills; he would take many pointers from her, and they did train together as both shinobi and jinchūriki. They also had a common love for music--Yugito with her shamisen, B with his verses--as well as a soft spot for animals. Yugito tended to a colony of feral and stray cats in her spare time, and before long, B became acquainted with said cats. The cats currently hang around Yugito’s grave, and B visits periodically to feed them and check in with Yugito herself. 
I would describe their relationship as off-and-on romantically. From their twenties onward, they’d oscillate over the years between friends, friends with benefits, and an actual couple--it was like something kept drawing them together, but something else, if not that very same thing, kept pushing them apart after a time. 
However, the friendship itself never wavered. At one point, there was talk about arranging them to be married, but they both pushed back against the idea. As two individuals who cherished their freedom (and maybe had a dash of unspoken attachment issues between them), they were content with keeping things the way they were. Who knows? Maybe they would have been more open to marriage if people hadn’t tried to pressure them into it? Shucks, I wonder if they might have been more inclined to wed if people had argued against it, instead? That was how they were, then. 
In a sense, B took her for granted. Not in any malicious way, but in the sense he’d assumed she was invincible. That she would always be there. 
Until suddenly, she wasn’t. 
B, having broken up with her on amicable terms for the last time a while ago, had been elsewhere when she was captured by Hidan and Kakuzu. For years afterwards, it haunted him that he wasn’t there to help her, that he didn’t get to say goodbye. Having gotten so good at compartmentalizing, the impact of fighting a zombie that looked like her and sounded like her yet wasn’t her wouldn’t hit him until after the war memorial service. 
Though he did eventually return to the dating game, he wouldn’t get into another serious relationship until Aina, who came into it with some heavy baggage of her own. 
It goes without saying that Yugito and Aina are different people (minus the love for animals and the similar talent at playing a stringed instrument), with different needs, wants, and fears. Still, in a lot of ways, B’s relationship with the former would influence his relationship with the latter. He had been confident he and Aina could stay close even with the possibility of this then budding romance between them not working out because he had been able to enjoy that companionship with Yugito regardless of how messy things got. When he’d noticed Aina trying to sneak away in the middle of the night, it’d made him think about losing Yugito, and how he didn’t want to repeat that mistake. And thinking about how he’d left Yugito to fend for herself all those years ago would make him hesitant to resist Aina’s fretting over his safety after an incident he’d have with certain aliens. 
It helps that in a lot of ways, Aina and B mirror each other in personality and past experience. 
Three days after he’d decided to marry Aina, B paid a visit to Yugito’s grave, offering raw salmon for the cats that lounged about it. Yugito loved salmon, too. He sat there in front of her stone and spoke to it like he was speaking to her directly. He would have brought Aina along like he’d been doing, but as he’d wanted to keep the proposal a surprise, it was better to break the news to his old friend in private. 
“I know. I didn’t think this day was gonna come, either,” he hummed, bobbing on his knees as his hands danced in front of him a little more subtly than usual. “But yo, I’m crazy ‘bout ‘er, Yu! I still wish you coulda got to meet ‘er. I hope you’ll be able to see it up from where you are. And I swear for the rest of my days I’ll treat ‘er like a kornerupine star! 
“ I shoulda treated you...yeah.”
For a second, a request for her blessing dangled ripe on the tip of his tongue. But it seemed pointless to ask it. Not because Yugito was dead--as if that would stop her from setting him straight if he ever faltered on his promises!--but because they’d never needed each other’s permission for anything. It had been one of the many things they’d loved about each other. She would have wanted him to move on.
As if to reassure him, a cat, thin and sharp-eyed and dusty-blonde as she had been in life, crept out from around the back of the stone. It sniffed B’s knuckles when he offered them, then ran the top of its head over them with a purr. Instantly, he burst into tears as he picked up the cat to hold it to his chest. 
"Th-thank you, Yu!” 
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