#here i go clown x2

[mcbeetlebeeb]

I'm currently getting into a fandom that isn't homestuck, but I can't turn down a request :3

these will still be headcannons and- uhrm- yea

Gamzee Makara

He is, talking about some mystical shit dude

I think hed appreciate someone who just listens too him blabber

don't ask me why but he'd like to naw on you

not full fledged biting a chunk out of you

I think he's too aware of how sharp his teeth are to go biting down that hard, but yknow

nipping at you gently, but not before he was smothering you in sloppy clown kisses

this is real specific but I think hed have the type of eyes that you can't seem to keep eye contact with

he's just so much taller and just has this lopsided shiteating grin, that shows most of his sharp ass teeth

I'd like to think his eyes are always that half lidded gaze, especially when it's at you

but no intent behind the looks he gives, fuck- probably no thoughts either

lights on no one home

don't get me wrong, he's not dumb,

in the simplest sense hes a big ol airhead

yknow a dingbat, a bit of a scatterbrain

but he's not like- vegetable for a brain dumb as hell

and thats another thing, it's definitely really convincing to probably think that he's yknow, not all there

but it throws you off gaurd x2 when he'd get all close and murmur and mumble certain things too you

he looked like he had a maximum of 3 thoughts floating around in his brain

but here he is, mumbling in a low almost gravely tone, right by your ear

I love to think he's one of those tall people to rest his arm playfully on your head if your shorter, which you most likely are-

can't recall if I mentioned the last time sense I have a rubber ducky keeping track of my memory

but I think hed be cold all the time

not like, bothersomely fridged

but enough to make you shiver and squirm if he were to press his hand to your skin, noticeable enough for you to verbally go "Damn-"

also!! I think hed be a huge sucker for you just holding his face with your hands, letting him relax against you, eyes shut

still grinning a bit and letting that low rumbling purr come from him

and this also means playing with his hair,

pet him damn it he demands it

no, not really more like laying and being in your space, following you round until you pay attention properly too him

sense most trolls can't- yknow- go out in the middle of the day because of their intense asf sun, trolls are nocturnal

so like if you ever took a photo with him with flash his eyes would do that reflective thing that cats have

or for another example, yknow how in the dark the first thing you spot about your black cat is its eyes?

yeah that

like I said in the other headcannon thingy, he's just always lurking and looming, he likes knowing what your doing even if he's not involved

and this comes with him trailing around you like a dog that sees you have food and knows you'll give it too them at some point

wether it be from afar or close, don't assume he's not close by, him being a purple blood im sure he's well aware of how violent trolls can be,

but with you around! oh he can't let you wonder off too far- Alternia's atmosphere is dangerous and the fauna is even more dangerous-

so don't expect to go very far without him trailing behind you

but he'd understand if you explained too him you wanted time too yourself or with somebody else one on one

I dont think hed be a jealous person, maybe a lil possessive! but he's not overbearing with it

he just wants you safe and content, and he wants you too feel that way around him

have a song I think fits his uh? vibe towards? significant other? because 🎉

Dave Strider

mm have I said he's a genuinely a big goof?

but I think that'd be something someone gets right off the bat

maybe

if you can pick up on someone trailing off on tangents of meaningless words that can go on and on without someone actually ever responding

than it's pretty visable

I think itd be pretty adorable though (I know I'm gay, whatever)

like if he were to start talking about something, anything, and you gave a simple short response, he's gonna take that and run with it

especially if he likes you

I think hed definitely be one too stare

but how could you tell? he's always wearing those shades

probably a good reason why he wears them other than ironic purposes

so no one sees what or where or in this case who he's lookin at

constantly staring though, wether it's you having a conversation with you or, you doing something random he's just watching

no actual thoughts id like to say

just observing

watching you be you, do your own natural thing, picking up on the way you talk or gesture at stuff

I cannot urge this enough but I still firmly believe physical touch would be a very special thing too him

it's not impossible or looked down upon too be able to hold his hand or lean against him

but he'd be mentally noting each touch, each expression you make, listening intently too your tone, hoping your doing the same

but with these actions he'd be straight faced as always, but he can feel his hands tremble ever so slightly, he recognizes his heart beat picking up

unfamiliar with these feelings with how they're being presented yknow?

most times he ever feels this way he's in danger

but he knows he couldn't be safer right now, like he wants to believe that, it's not hard for him to believe it

but his body is just hardwired to tense up, clench his jaw and steady the shakey breathing

but being patient and respectful would melt those feelings away really easy I'd like too think

just sitting there and slowly showing affection, brushing thumbs against his knuckles, tracing over fingers

you focus on his hand, flipping it over and thumbing at his vaguely sweaty palm, hand still shaking faintly in your gentle grasp

he'd just stare at you, in disbelief and adoration, and realization that he doesnt need to be poker faced round you

that he doesnt need to put up a front to protect himself, the squishy parts of him he learned to shove away to get along with life

a big sigh of relief to say the least,

but once he realizes he doesn't need to be someone else for you, he can just be him, no expectations or demands, he can rely on someone else for once

you ain't ever gettin rid of him after that, he's not clingy but he's no longer keeping you at arms length, not now, not ever again

AND HE GETS MUSIC THING because he is my favorite right next too the crab man <3

author note: I feel this sucked a big booty buttload but I was already half way done with it when I dubbed it that, so have this anyway!!!

#Spotify #dave strider #spotify #gamzee makara x reader #dave strider x reader #homestuck #x reader #gay people #very fruity

[burnttoastlife]

I’m finally posting the art/doodle requests I had 💜 sorry for the wait guys!

[ID: five digital drawings of various Ace Attorney characters. The drawings are, in order:

Angel Starr, holding out a pixelated lunchbox. Text around her reads “Here you go, (heart), The mystic special (heart).” The word mystic is pixelated and barely legible. Angel Starr is smiling with her eyes closed.

A drawing of Maya Fey, the magatama glowing green above her right eye. She is in shading except for the lighting coming from the magatama.

Godot and Jake Marshall, drawn in reference to the “smoking in bed” meme/art trend. Instead of a cigarette, Godot is holding a coffee mug. Jake’s hat and poncho are hanging off the bed.

A redraw of Luke Atmey’s laughing sprite. Text around him reads “The Tragic Clown” “He He” “Ho Ho” and “Ha Ha”.

Miles Edgeworth, on his hands and knees with a strained, panicked expression. There is a decent amount of motion blur, implying an Earthquake.

/ End ID]

Requests by: @drakkonyan @winged-wolf-s-collection-of-arts @reity (x2) @honktwice4help and @sunnyskies281

#ace attorney #angel starr #maya fey #godot #diego armando #jake marshall #luke atmey #miles edgeworth #ace attorney fanart #gartster

[traumxrei-archive]

【 book 6 pt. 2 thoughts ! 】

yeah so guess who's starting to play book 6 pt. 2 late *insert sparkles emoji* anyways. if you do wanna see my thoughts, here you go ^^

[ spoilers for 6-45 till 6-49 under the cut ! ]

~~~

[ about : vil the gaymer ]

HELP— the way idia's like "wait but you're so sparkly and a model....do you actually like games ??" and vil's like "and i took that personally—" imagining vil and his costars playing smash on a switch while waiting for their turn to shoot a scene

(no on a real note, how much shit like that did vil have to go thru,,,,like people deciding his likes and dislikes for him based on what they see he's like instead of just asking him T^T)

[ about : azul knows about twitch ?? ]

not azul pulling up with "hmm, yes, i've seen people making money by playing games and streaming it—" can you guys IMAGINE twitch streamer azul. would not know how to play the game. would get roasted by his chat. would then end the stream, practice how to play the game flawlessly for hours on end bc his pride was hurt, and consequently start streaming after to "show off his skills".

[ about : leona and chess.com ]

i find it so fucking funny that leona's only interested in chess games (probably bc he didn't have any friends to teach him abt other games) bc i can't believe its canon that he probably plays on chess.com or sumn whenever he's bored (also idia thanking them for proving himself correct bc the other three were interested in gaming,,,,,clown energy)

[ about : video games hurt academic performance ]

...as someone who had to write a whole ass debate on WHY video games hurt academic performance, riddle, i can definitively say that it only hurts your grades if you choose to disregard doing school work in favor of playing the games (aka, if you split your time up well between schoolwork and hobbies like gaming, you'd actually be more than fine ^^)

and idia is correct, there are studies that show that video games can help increase reaction time among other things (and he's right x2 when he says it's not the game's fault but the person's but also you gotta keep in mind that some games are designed to be addictive so that people will play it for hours on end)

[ about : pride wars ]

yk, i was thinking abt this before, but all the people in this room are pretty prideful about each of their respective areas (e.g. azul and his business, riddle and his grades, etc.) so i WAS wondering when they were going to get into a fight,,,,,

but i did NOT think it would happen between riddle and idia jskfjksdfj the way idia keeps provoking him is so funny to me bc riddle's probably never had someone (other than ace) openly oppose him like that. especially someone older jskfdjskf

meanwhile vil's like "yea riddle dug that hole and put himself in it" and azul's like "yea,,,,he's smart but he just got trolled"

[ about : WE GET TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES ??? ]

OH MY GOD THERE'S VIDEO GAMES ???? THIS HAS TO BE MY FAVORITEST BOOK EVER IN TERMS OF MECHANISM WWWAHHHH the way i'm. so excited. to like. play the video game omgmgggmgmg—

also this is so fucking meta, we get to play a video game inside of another video game,,,,,,

[ about : riddle the gaymer ]

ok lowkey wholesome the way they're all watching riddle game, even if he's terrible at it. like they're all invested in the story and in his progress, and trying to help him out, and teasing him, as friends should ^^

idia trying to give him tips is so funny bc he's saying "go up" and "YOU NEED TO GO DOWN OR YOU'LL DIE" and riddle's panicking jskfdjskf and riddle :'))) my boy, wdym which one is the down button

AND AZUL KEEPS FANNING THE FLAMES W/ HIS COMMENTS TOO the way riddle got offended over being called bad at games bc "i'm not bad i'm simply inexperienced !!" and relegating himself to PRACTICING. the riddle rosehearts practicing GAMING.

[ about : azul's turn ]

FUCK HELP PLEASE VIL I LOVE YOU WHY ARE YOU SO FUNNY JFKDJSKF

also omg i didn't think we'd be getting floyd lore HERE but it makes sense that floyd has game consoles.... azul talking as if he played floyd's games VOLUNTARILY sir just say you were dragged into it and go !!

[ about : leona gaming time ??? ]

ortho's so good at leading people to play games,,,,the way he butters people up is insanneee and telling a story to go with it ??? to make it more interesting ??? and the fact that he's so cute and cheerful, leona can BARELY put up a resistance jskfjsdf

and ofc it's a reaction time game,,,no doubt leona's gonna have an absolute ball playing it bc it's akin to a cat hitting a piece of string repeatedly sjfksdjfk and the way he's playing without strategy bc "it's his fault if he gets hit smh"

leona goes "tch...why am i doing this again ?" as if the clicking controller noises don't get more frantic as he continues to play LIKE SIR i can legit hear you exerting effort, stop acting high and mighty

[ about : ORTHO SHROUHDSFJF ]

leona: so ? what did you mean that this game was for me ?

ortho:

GUYS I'M FUCKING DYING THE WAY HE'S SO CASUALLY LIKE "YEA YK. CATS STARTED BATTING AT IT AND PEOPLE FOUND IT CUTE." and not the researcher doing the same to lions ??? help ???? "according to STYX's records, you're a beastman with lion genes, so i predicted you'd enjoy the game" ORTHO YOU'RE SO FUNNSYSYFUDHF

the way leona can't even refute it bc he WAS into the game and he got a high score anyway :'))) (and not vil calling him adorable,,,,)

[ about : leona and ortho ]

ok but the way leona let ortho down was so soft. he's like "yea like they said i'm such a cat, so i'm sleepy,,," bc he doesn't wanna hurt ortho's feelings snnnnniifff,,,, he knows that ortho's purely happy that he was able to pick out a game that engaged leona, so leona didn't wanna crush his spirits by refusing to play another round

[ about : star rogue, a hero's dawn ]

the way idia was SO EXCITED when star rouge was recommended to vil,,,, he really said pop off !! out loud and started to narrate the story of the game hIMSELF (i love the way he got So Serious for the narration sjfkdsjf that's me when i'm talking about the story line of games i love)

not jamil, vil, and leona (who was, ahem, "asleep" btw)just basking in silence after idia's done with his spiel,,,,,,,guys,,,please,,,you're gonna kill the guy,,,,,

the way the shroud bros both said the tagline sobs i love them sm sm,,,, reminds me about how important of a game star rogue is to them bc iirc they mentioned it before in the starsending event ? and idia's wish was that the star rogue sequel was completeddd

[ about : star rogue sequel ]

have i ever talked about how much i love vil schoenheit <333 the way he stands up against stereotypes that people have against him as a model and actor, the way he's down to trying out idia's favorite video game, the way he listens closely to what idia is saying and tells him not to just dream, but to chase that dream...

on that note, i love how everyone's listening to idia's story. like i didn't expect leona to suddenly chime in, but he did.

also idia is right. a game that's made begrudgingly bc someone's paying you vs because you're passionate and you want others to enjoy it IS different.

(but also what vil says does make sense. sometimes creators can't see the point in making a sequel to something even if they said they wanted to, but having that one fan cheering them on would make a difference)

[ about : RIDDLE.... ]

NOT RIDDLE TAKING THE WHOLE TIME THAT LEONA TESTED THE HYDRA GAME AND VIL TESTED STAR ROGUE TO CLEAR THE FIRST LEVEL ON EASY ??????

wow i love azurid, they're so funny for no reason, the way riddle's so happy about clearing the level and then as soon as azul opens his mouth he's back to frowning (and mama vil scolding them for not taking breaks jskfjdskf)

[ about : azul.... ]

sir i can't. i can't defend you anymore if you say something like this...

[ about : gaming time ]

also these are my scores for the games just bc i wanna document them:

for star rogue, i had to restart 3 times,,,,,the first time i got killed by the boss, the second time, i didn't get killed by the boss but i ran out of time, and third time's the charm >:D

[ about : vil finding out about rookepeyuu ]

vil being like "damn, why would they do something so reckless ?? were they...trying to rescue me ?" and then ortho pulls out skincare and he's like "?? hah ??" and idia's like "omg someone who FINALLY had a normal reaction !!!"

me when vil said the above: *flushed emoji* NO I'M JOKING— but also who doesn't want a kith from vil. we love vil and his tough love, the way he's immensely thankful but also knows how risky it was for them to do this, so he'll scold them <33

[ about : forgotten memories ]

ok but. river lethe beaming all the subjects + sage island residents,,,,mnemosyne being the goddess of memory in greek mythology,,,,

it's kinda...bittersweet. while the beginning was pretty unsavory— i mean. who wants to get violently kidnapped by soldiers ? —the end of their visit was so sweet ? like them all playing video games together, it's so sad that those memories will be erased too. and the way idia just accepts it like it's natural. he's like yea it was bound to happen, which is so saddd uughhhh he's probably used to all this, probably why he brands himself a shut in bc if anyone were to know him as "idia shroud" there will come a point where they'll completely forget about him once he goes to work for styx,,,,,

[ about : mysterious voice ]

*GRABS ONE OF MY SHOES AS A WEAPON* WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU ????

ortho honey, do NOT follow the mysterious, disembodied voice that is coming from tartarus. DO NOTT !! oh god no not the foggg,,,,what the hell is that black fog around him, how did this guy's blot even leak out of the facility, how many people does this guy have under his control, and how hasn't anyone noticed uurhghghghghh

oh my god wait is this guy. one of the ancient phantoms ? the titans ? the ones who the shrouds used to lead the failed rebellion against the jupiter family ?? bc if so, maybe this was what happened last time,,,,maybe the shrouds were loyal but the phantom titans promised that they could grant a shroud's wish if they gave in, and then they fell under the titan's control,,,,

[ about : NII-CHAN ??? ]

HELP ME DID THE VOICE JUST CALL IDIA "NII-CHAN" IS THAT THE ORIGINAL ORTHO ? DID THE ORIGINAL ORTHO ALSO GET DRAGGED INTO THERE WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER AND TRIED TO MAKE A PACT WITH THE TITANS ? IS THAT WHY HE WAS SO SUSCEPTIBLE TO THE VOICE ??

WAIT WAIT WAIT YOU CAN'T JUST CUT OUT LIKE THAT ARGHHHH THE CLIFF HANGERRR *SHAKES FIST*

and with that i gotta stop here :')))) bc i gotta sleep ougughghghhgh i'm so very curious about what'll happen next but sleep awaits ^^ ig i'll play more book 6 when i wake up :'))))))))))

#/trau rambles #yk the rambles tag is so fitting #bc i talk so much ongggg #ARGH I LEFT MYSELF ON A CLIFF HANGER WTF #twst book 6 #twst book 6 spoilers #twst chapter 6 #ortho shroud #idia shroud #riddle rosehearts #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #vil schoenheit

[x-heesy]

Lalalex PUNX Aren’t dead ☠️ Phuck it 4 phun

*CHORUS*

No I can't hear you, I'm like

Alalala alalalalala

This shit is too loud, I'm like

Alalala alalalalala

(x2)

Let us smoke

Alalala alalalalala(x2)

Yuh

Alalala alalalalala

This is good

Alalala alalalalala

*VERSE - 1*

Yo

They goin' talk a lot of shit when your backs turned

(`Fuck those faggots`)

Better pack a bowl and let the gas burn

Yall don't know me like a password

Judging by the cover of a book, skipping the chapters

Yeah, they got this shit backwards

You thought they were your homies

But now they turn into to actors

Burning bridges, break those bitches off like a fracture

You mad because I mastered my craft

When your ass would nap first

It's no doubt I'm going all out

No matter the show crowd, 0 to 4 thou

They don't even know how

Praying I'ma fall out

Fuck yall hating pussies

I can't hear you through the smoke clouds

Ah, stop telling me to slow down

Got a whole ounce throw down, shits so loud

Look who's on the thrown now

Stoner got the dope crown

We fuckin' with no sound

So all yall better pronounce

*CHORUS*

No I can't hear you, I'm like

Alalala alalalalala

This shit is too loud, I'm like

Alalala alalalalala

(x2)

Let us smoke

Alalala alalalalala(x2)

Yuh

Alalala alalalalala

This is good

Alalala alalalalala

*VERSE - 2*

They see you doin something different, so they doubt you

That's why I roam around in this bitch like I'm sound proof

I down boose, ti'll I'm drowning. Howling I'm out dude

Born blowing clouds out my foul mouth and I'm proud too

I'm running shit up in this bitch

Rocking some clown shoes

Got homies at my house

And we smoking ounces and pounds too

Aiming for the top, ain't shit stopping me

Bitch I'm powerfueled

I plan on taking over the trump estates and his towers too

Cowards move, and make some fucking room

Bitches cause RADEK's here

We dabbing wax with the fam relaxing and cracking beers

Live through passing years

I been blowing hash in the atmosphere

And Fuck a fanbase gathering

Fuck rapping, I'm grabbing ears

Yuh. With this blunt bitch, I battle fears

I stab a queer with a javalin while I laugh in tears

Fuck em all has been the motto and it has for years

So who the fuck are you talking to?

Bitch I can't hear

*CHORUS*

No I can't hear you, I'm like

Alalala alalalalala

This shit is too loud, I'm like

Alalala alalalalala

(x2)

Let us smoke

Alalala alalalalala(x2)

Yuh

Alalala alalalalala

This is good

Alalala alalalalala Lex

Can't Hear You by RADEK @luna-zylum @ro3000 😂 😘

#swag #bouncer #idgaf #radek #drop beats not bombs 💣 #4/2023 #im freaking the fuck out #i need to dance the fuck out #dancing in the dark #dance the pain away #la la land #fuckit #fuckit for fun #trash me #x-heesy #music #fucking favorite #now playing #spotify #music and art #track of the day #exploring music #420 #cbt break #gif mood board #mood in between #punks aren’t dead

[flamingbluepanda]

Cam watches Shameless UK (so you don't have to)

Oh yeah it's happening. There's 11 seasons. 10 episodes each. Gonna tag them all with CWSUK so if you're not interested blacklist that.

I'm also gonna do some tldr stats because these are gonna get long every time I think and I doubt people will want to read all my ramblings.

Similarity to shameless US: 97%

Did we see Mickey in this episode? No

McAvoy count: 5

Who was the main Gallagher this episode? Fiona

Who was MY favorite character this episode? Liam

Frank speeches: 2

Anyway, ONWARD!

Season 1 Episode 1

They warn you so many times about the mature content on channel 4 lmao

They keep Carl bald so his hair doesnt stand on end. He looks like a demon sorry Carl.

I wouldn't trust this version of Ian with a single thing.

You need subtitles with this show. Need em.

I've heard that a lot of the plot is the same, but we're starting strong with Karen Jackson lmao

Oh Veronica is here!!! Can't wait to see her

MCAVOY x1

Vee is blonde. And white. Liam is also white. This is like a fascinating science experiment

I love this version of jimmy Steve more than American jimmy Steve

Okay I still don't trust this version of Ian but he has HUGE eyes

Awww no okay he's just a beby I trust him I take it back baby I'm sorry he's crying lip look what you did

MCAVOY x2

Carl STILL looks like a demon

No Kevin yet .....

THERES A LOT OF SIDEWAYS CAMERA ANGLES ITS WEIRD

There's Kev!! He has a gold chain and short hair.

Instead of the infamous fridge calender, they have a big ole pinboard.

Oh damn jimmy Steve is a smooth talker

I was gonna make a joke about all those graphic scene warnings being just for kissing but then they cut to the sezys

TONY MARKOVICH IS A BABEY

LIL BABEY LIAM IS REALLY CUTE and he told Jimmy Steve to go away as his first line. Im obsessed with him favorite character.

Lmao all her siblings watching jimmy Steve get in his car and judging

Hi Frank. You scare me more than William Macy does.

MCAVOY x3

I appreciate channel 4 using different subtitle colors for different characters talking. Makes it easy to track whos talking and I love it

There has been no k*sh so far and I am hoping and praying he never shows up

At least lip told Ian he was taking him to see Karen in this version.

rip Ian he looks so unhappy.

Everyone is so freckled in this show.

"HES GONNA KILL HIM!" *Music pauses, thump* "he's killed him 0-0" Karen sounds horrified

Okay I'm coming around to Ian and lip they're such dumbasses.

OKAY THERES KEVS DICK THEY NEVER SHOWED US STEVE HOWIES DICK HEJSJEKAJAKA

Other than his infamous opening speech Frank hasn't spoken yet

Apparently instead of clowns Eddie Jackson collects owls

MCAVOY x4

Ugh noooooo please no kash nooooooooooooooooooo please just let him be a dick don't make them fuck pleaseeeeee

Frank STiLL hasn't talked and it's creepy as shit

Nvm he talked

I miss joan cusack

Ugh nooooo dammit where's Mickey do I have to wait I'll episode 3 to see him

PUNCH HIM LIP PUNCH HIM KICK HIS ASS

At least Ian's not doing army shit ig

MCAVOY x5

Debbie has had a single line telling Liam to go to bed.

Okay seriously jimmy Steve needs to stop winning my heart when I know he's gonna be a turd again.

Nvm Debbies had two lines

MCAVOY x6

Three lines for Debbie!!

They show us a lil snippy of bloopers after the credits lmao.

#CWSUK #shameless uk #shameless

[a-tiny-frog-girl]

I posted 427 times in 2022

That's 122 more posts than 2021!

58 posts created (14%)

369 posts reblogged (86%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@a-tiny-frog-girl

@oh-i-need-a-name

@awkwardgtace

@poprockpanda

@bottlesandbuttons

I tagged 130 of my posts in 2022

#froggy speaks - 84 posts

#g/t - 70 posts

#giant/tiny - 50 posts

#gt community - 45 posts

#borrowers - 42 posts

#sfw gt - 41 posts

#gt - 33 posts

#g/t community - 32 posts

#froggy arts - 26 posts

#froggy writes - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 80 characters

#like its not just one bad thing that completely goes away when theyre sage again

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Hey You!!! You in the g/t community, reading this!! I love you!! If you make work, I'm amazed by your creativity!! Thank you for being such an amazing person! (if you are thinking this isn't really for me then you get a special x2 multiplier on my love for free >:) )

138 notes - Posted May 3, 2022

#4

tiktoks that there would be if borrowers existed and hung around humans

borrowers seeing themselves in the mirror for the first time and not passing the mirror test for a few minutes

humans annoying their borrower friends by just picking them up and bringing them wherever they are going (the comments call the human mean even though the borrower is clearly laughing the entire time)

borrowers in places that are surprising, like on the roof for some reason

PRANK WARS (I would pay to see borrower vs human prank wars 😭)

borrowers learning human slang or learning about animals they've never heard of before like whales or okapis or smth

how to make tiny things for your tiny friends (food, furniture, etc)

house tour but it's inside the walls

two tiktokers find out they live in the same house, one a borrower, one a human

showing my borrower friend places they've probably never seen

one borrower gets really famous by pretending to be human and clowning on them for all the silly things they do

the best fabric/paper clips/etc for borrower crafting

138 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

#3

BORROWER HEADCANONS

im bored, I should be writing but here's some of my favorite borrower headcanons instead (ask your headcanons or ask for more of mine or clarification!! I love this stuff!!)

borrower "culture" isn't really a thing. If you found two borrowers from separate places and asked them what holidays they celebrate or if they have a hierarchy, they'd most likely give you completely different answers (that means the rest of the list is basically only true for some borrowers in my head)

borrowers don't track time like humans. Ofc they still have like morning and evening and so on, but they don't have hours or minutes or years in the way we use them.

Adding to the last bit, borrowers don't do birthdays. Since they don't really have numbered days, at most they remember whether they were born in early or late (insert season here). Age is counted by seasons and being an older borrower usually means being respected far more.

borrowers don't really do gender. it's really not a big deal when you're fighting for your food and life constantly. Pronouns are just things they borrow from humans, they're not really attached to them.

skirts and dresses are impeding to most borrower things so wearing them is either luxurious and shows that a borrower doesn't need to work or lazy. Again gender isn't really a thing so they can be worn by anyone as long as they don't need to be constantly alert.

hair length is usually a personal decision. Long hair is warm and can be tied up easily, but can get caught in things and does take maintenance. Not as much maintenance as human hair would at that length, but still some. (borrowers can usually brush the tangles out of their hair with just their fingers.) Short hair is a lot more permanently out of the way but often needs to be cut fairly regularly to stay at that length.

hair color can affect what length borrowers choose to keep their hair at. Black haired borrowers might keep long hair and even put it semi down so they're harder to see in the darkness. Red or blonde haired borrowers might have to keep it short because it could easily get them spotted.

borrowers that live/work alone tend to be more cutthroat than colonies of borrowers. They can't rely on much and if you are hindering their work they will cut you loose so fast.

on the other hand, colonies tend to be more strict about rules and such. The rules vary greatly, but they tend to stick to them and not forgive even small transgressions. Basically if you're a rule breaker you're gonna get yeeted.

if a lone borrower is crazy, it's kinda just like eh, they're alone so long it makes sense for them to be like that. Often if they aren't like actually just randomly biting people, they can still be decent ally's.

if a colony is crazy, you're fucked. That is a borrower cult, my guy. They have already completely convinced themselves and each other that they are the sane ones, there's no way to get through to them. Plus they tend to have the numbers to do really bad things, for instance: sacrifices.

some borrowers do have religion!! It can be anything from whatever religion the humans had put through a game of telephone or something humans would consider to be a lot like witchcraft!

Borrowers often get their names from 1. human names (usually misheard or misspelled) 2. something precious to the parents, like how some humans are named after gems 3. just a random word that someone heard and decided would make a good name, or 4. another borrower.

moving house is just as dangerous if a borrower moves into somewhere with borrowers already as if it's an empty place. The best scenario would probably be a group of borrowers too small to be considered a colony that don't mind sharing or a recently evacuated home. (you would have to consider why they left, though.)

borrowers sit wherever they goddamn please. on the floor? yep. on the edge of a table next to a drop that would definitely kill them? yeah, sure. on top of a borrower sized table? it's comfy! wherever they happen to be standing and find out they're going to be there a while? just plopped down on the spot. They are also incredibly fast at getting up, so there's no worry about being stuck sitting when something happens.

beds aren't really a thing for borrowers either. They have to be able to sleep wherever they are so they don't get tired and make stupid mistakes. The closest thing to a human concept of a bed would probably be a few comfortable scraps of fabric in a bit of a messy nest. Easy to move and rearrange. Some borrowers just sleep on the ground or cuddle with other borrowers.

Candy is as precious as gems. Unfortunately, just about as useful as them, too, but sweet things are hardly ever left out or abandoned.

The main overarching rule for borrowers is don't get caught and if you do, don't reveal the rest of the borrowers to humans. Different rules spawn from this like don't speak to humans or don't go out during the day or whatever, but those are the ones all borrowers basically would get as a kid.

Borrowers are kind of desensitized to violence and death. All their lives they are constantly thinking about it possibly happening, and depending on where they live, may have seen many others bite the dust. It's just a part of being a borrower.

Borrowers have INCREDIBLY dark humor. They'll absolutely be joking about how their best friend got severely injured the moment they're safe. Maybe even before depending on the borrower.

Some borrowers are more animalistic than others. It's a trait that's sort of passed down like what eye color you have. Some borrowers have cat-like eyes that adjust to the dark well but are mid sighted and color blind. Some borrowers can purr or chirp. Some are more capable of eating raw meat or random stuff they find on the ground. Some have tails for balance or animal ears.

Many borrowers have weird special talents that seemingly come out of nowhere. One may be able to jump stupidly high while the other can smell everything and discern what is going on in the next room.

borrowers get overstimulated SO EASILY. loud? no thanks. lots of movement that they try to automatically track all at once? eugh. bright colors that hurt their eyes and distract them? bad.

crows and borrowers often have symbiotic relationships. Borrowers share a little food and time/conversation and the crow distracts the human or gives them a ride or protects them from other animals. they are friends <3

Most borrowers don't have any other name than their first unless they live in a place with a LOT of other borrowers and need to distinguish where they're from.

TLDR; I never stop thinking about borrowers. I am a borrower nerd. I will keep on talking about this forever.

172 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

#2

it was at this moment they knew.

they fucked up.

204 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

GT WRITING PROMPTS!!

you can use these as you like, this could be an ask game too!! they're gonna be all over the place, sorry bout that lol

"How did you do that?" "What, like it's hard?" "YES-"

"You made this for me? That's incredible!"

"I'm gonna fight that guy for you." "Please don't..."

"Are you scared of me?"

"Why didn't you just ask for help?"

"So I'm kinda stuck... Don't laugh at me!"

"You can leave now. If you want to."

"You... saved my life. Why?"

"You're pretty incredible, you know." "Me?"

"You can sleep now. It's safe, I'll protect you."

"You'll never lay a hand on them again."

"I don't need a controller my size, I'll beat you at Mario Kart with this one!"

"I've been told you've never watched a superhero movie. Spiderman or The Flash?"

"I don't know if you can even hear me right now, but I'll miss you."

"You're really sick, you should go lie down. I can take care of this for you, don't worry."

275 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[nmsthim]

#imabigasb$$$$

IMABIGASB$$$$ #16big #13itch I love my life give me my round ain't no bald headed trick x2

ya love this right here a trick off the books ain't no pork and bean STUFF eat my dust just living life baby ain't A fool for two repping and stepping I love my ninjas tho we reaching the hilt of it. custom made bust down they calling me back to the streets big talk big stick hella rounds,

I got some blicks I'm the talk of the town the head mistress the mistress diaries I'm her the one and only he love me and get it for me making sure I don't miss my menses a page off the black books miss Mary on a whimp who is him get yo wig split solid like a rock bling Miami, off of bricks hos in different area codes drip in designer ain't the weakest link Mr.I I'm about that action facts over fiction spend it how I live it get it and I'm A winner checks blowing digits get like me shorty hoping for my dream beat like a freak CHORUS

OOS coming after me yelling whoop that trick I'm getting paid to split these gs split and dip. honey I'm coming home and its for a fee I'm fresh and so clean mouth full of Gleece bleed where's the fleece I'm A freak in the sheets leave a block head on the streets boss mentality head over heels in my big ass Bentley never too much for me check OOS and balance ninjas don't get at me if I ain't send for ya. ya peep but stay sleep motivate but y'all can't relate ain't weak in the knees, I'm in y'all mentions bow legs looking like the best pair in show collecting heads like its war warm up to me for the best in me tell them ill be coming around the Mountain crazy eyes on me I'm on one break them eyes as I walk by switch the walk with a smize like what like whatever whenever wherever you know I've been better so sick of love songs anyways break the ice ice baby come and talk to me open up to me talking about some honest tea pity party need to get past me princess pea, piss of by everything everyone on one what we gonna be music to my ear I'm getting tired of the STUFF talking street bulky walking , zombie hunting, acting green does it do something for ya ,forward this message to 20 ppl

CHORUS tax that BUTT because I'm what you ought to be going for the gold I'm coming through Smooth smooves and unaltered carbon I'm adulterY porn over 18, asking dude where's my car? behind the wheel in the latest model I love being me yeah me picture me rolling couldn't imagine me doing anything other what its been and come and earn it work it girl you know you prefect A plus for the try trump card getting by black card so I'm always fly peep the green card yeah I'm the reason why. stay strong never be complacent no lying ho can stop this parade don't rain on my parade say what's on you mind since you got something to say better surroundings caused for times like this from dusk til dawn I got what's coming for me rocking the latest designer things rings blings chains gains Hanes a cat walk thru pop my color my collar I'm fresh and famous too... get like me, ain't another shawty like me and right away is another bust open up to another opp hater blockers on me I won't be stopped treat or trick yourself into a block head strong money on my mind click flash a selfie and get a bigger picture swarm my way I'm putting ways out like its free dinner I got the keys and status knock y'all out the frame changed that game had to plead the fifth if that's what you mean with these kids and yo man I just might stay never sleep on these hos tell them get away tellem get back back, back to back, back to black, CHORUS..... miss me with that bull spit heavy hitter, hit em up style and let soul's boy tellem put those opposing in a coffin rock em sock em drop em clock em out empty out the pockets clips and wallet mistaken me for you friend or something what do you want from me? do my dance at the end since I'm free balling , balling so hard Ware at the point that it osama a clown and it all falls down never new a love like this found a pick me up after the end to a beginning put some respect on my name replay the last clip respect the technique nameless and blameless in your eyes Alexa couldn't figure me out free balling like mike and Iverson had to post up alone zooming down the alley like you owe me something collect calls like I just came from the pen jail bait have them clicking and saying my name no complaints, no shoes, no shirt, no service bed set, game, and match, ain't no cheap thrills thriller this vanilla he a wanna be big kill king me and check my mate with a few whirlwinds you don't know what's coming for you me myself and I I love me like I'm A classic ,A fan, an icon awesome! good job! thanks! no prob! Eat you up like its a pinched giveaway getting struck by Cupid,call it lucky strike, green lightning.. Gas lighting never stopping pocket watching got to think twice. never switch up balling like we took Arab from soulja call me a stronghold if I ever beg, its bigger war on drugs I'm that blood thinner no cap if I got a prob ya peep the turn of events ima get right with ya.

Chorus

#relatable memes #audible #music #album #sing #rap #rhymes

[funkymanfunkytown]

my school drama cuz i need to type and copy paste it x2

and I wanna get this off my chest

OKAY SO

since the start of the year me and ashlynn were bestie boo girlie pops!! i gave this bitch ruben a note saying "your a dingus" and i got in trouble L + ratio. anyways i liked angel. so. bad. like simping so hard. ashlynn had a sex dream of him! she called ME the man stealer??? anyways angel himself was guessing my crush. he said EVERY PERSON IN THE GRADE HAFsggshgfsGDVGS and he said at lunch,, "OMG WHO IS IT?!?!?!?!!" and i YELLED infRont OF ALL OF MY GRADE,, "IT'S YOU!!!!" my bully, jaime was across from me, he told everyone. and uh. anyways i stopped liking him. i liked luis g. somehow everyone found out??? idk people call me crazy. then i dated melissa 😜. but we broke up and she dated ashlynn. thEN I DATED GIOVANNI THE FUCKING CLASS CLOWN IDIOT THAT ASHLYNN HAD A CRUSH ON 💀💀💀💀 AND THEN I CHEATED BECAUSE GIOVANNI WAS A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG AND I DATED ASHLEY. THEN ASHLEY GAVE ME A NOTE SAYING NOBODY LIKES ME AND SHE CALLED ME A FAG 😭😭😭😭

AND THEN. ERNEST WAS BEING WEIRD AND TOUCHED RAELYN WITH HIS BONER IN A CLASS THAT WASN'T MINE, SO THEY WERE SEPARATED, AND RAELYN WAS IN MY CLASS AND I LIKED HER. SGGJSVJGSVVGSHGFVGGVH AND SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME SHE LIKES THIS HOTDOG MILK

ASS BITCH IORI THAT IS MY BULLY ASWELL AS JAIME AND THEN

RUBEN, JAIMES BOYFRIEND OR SMTH IS A TOTAL DOUCHEBAG AND ASHLYNN FALLS FOR HIM

ASHLYNN BREAKS UP WITH MELISSA AND I STOP LIKING RAELYN AND I START LIKING EMO BOY NOEL AND OH BOY HERE IT COMES,,,,

ASHLYNN WRITES A NOTE SAYING THIS

"Ashley the bitch, Ruben the motherfucker, Jaime the trianglehead, Baldo the bitch" AND MORE.

ANGEL STEALS THE FUCKING PAPER AND TELLS EVERYONE AND ASHLEY CRIES AND THE SUB FUCKING SCOLDS ASHLYNN AND SHE COMES IN, HAVING A FAKE ASS PANIC ATTACK, APOLOGIZING IN THE MOST HALF ASSED WAY EVER HFDJHSGJHS

AND I STILL LIKE NOEL, I TELL HIM MY FEELINGS.

HE SAYS HE ONLY LIKES LATINA GIRLS AND I'M A CRACKER 😭

THEN HE GIVES ME A NOTE A WEEK LATER THAT SAYS "i love you." AND UHM WHAT THE FUCK??? NOELS STORY ENDS THERE BECAUSE HE STILL STARES AT ME IN CLASS SO IDK

ANYWAYS SO ASHLYNN IS FAILING HAHA L

SHE BECOMES A FUCKING JERK, AND I FAKE LIKING HER HAHA

AND UUM I AM SINGLE AND LIKE NOEL OKAY GO OFF IG

FOR A REALLY LONG TIME IT'S JUST "i like noel hshshhs"

AND THEN AFTER LIKE 3 MONTHS

DYLAN THINKS I LIKE HIM BUT HE A CRUSTY ROACH

BUT THEN

I LIKE AJ ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

AND EVERYBODY FUCKING KNOWS LIKE EVEN HIM.

AND JAYDA, THE BITCH SHE IS SAYS "oh we were dating he likes me yknow 🙄"

AND I SAY STFU DUMB BITCH NO

HE STARES. SO MUCH.

ANYWAYS I GIVE HIM A VALENTINE ❤❤❤❤

HE SAYS SURE I LIKE YOU BACK DON'T TELL

AAAAA

SO YEAH AND AT CHOICE P.E HE TALKS TO ME AND ASHLYNN, BEING A FUCKING DUMBASS RUINS IT, MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SHIT BECAUSE HE NEVER SAID WHAT HE WANTED TO SAY BECAUSE

ASHLYNN CALLED HIM DADDY AND NOW HE THINKS IM CRAZY AND OBSESSED AND STUPID

ANYWAYS SO YEAH HE STARES LIKE IM FUCKING INSANE

AND RAELYN FUCKING HATES MY GUTS BECAUSE SHE THINKS I LIKE HER HOTDOG WATER ASS CRUSH IORI WHEN I FUCKING DON'T HE SUCKS HE IS A FUCKING SLIDE WHISTLE

BALDO COMES OUT AS BISEXUAL POGGERS NGL

AND THE ASHLYNN AJ THING WAS TODAY BTW

AND LATER, I'M JUST DANCING AT LUNCH FOR NO REASON

AND I DO THIS

✊↔

BY ACCIDENT. AND IORI SAYS "OMG AJ LOOK SHE DID THIS *inappropriate motion*" AND SO I GET PISSED OFF AND SAY NO THE FUCK???? AND A TEACHER YELLS AT ME AND I TELL HER WHY IM PISSED OFF AND IORI GETS IN TROUBLE AND AJ SMILES AT ME

HE SMILES. AT. MEEEE. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤👹👹❤👹❤👹❤👹❤👹❤👹

AND HE FINDS IT COOL THAT WHEN WE ARE GOING TO OUR SEPARATE BUSES HE SMILES AND SAYS "you got iori in trouble :)"

AND I FUCKING BLUSH SO HARD AND CAN'T STOP SMILING VSGGSJHSGHG

ps giovanni moved away ig idk

anyways im gonna go eat cheese straight out the container 😀😃

#gossip #drama #irl quotes #this is so long #crying

[bad-draft-stuff]

Det. au 19

Arsé-kun: *Arséne isn't even at his desk. He said the time he was going to go over notes, and he didn't even bother to show up to his own office. He just left a single sheet of paper there and left. Classy!*

Sheepy: Nyar: Wonder what this is...a love letter, I bet! Sheepy: *Nyar reads it* Arsé-kun: *It's a few notes from the last few days, and I do mean a FEW. It's barely even a paragraph of notes, compared to his usual. Ahem. "Notes! -Some kid found a sword. I am personally keeping out of this one, I have enough work to do. Someone else can deal with Griflet and his friends until I am actually done with my cases. Good luck!! PS: The gem Sherlock may or may not have currently was Not Stolen and is legal. Shocking but true. Good luck x2* Sheepy: Nyar: Huh. Sheepy: Nyar: That's boring. Sheepy: *Grif smashes the door open* Arsé-kun: Germain: I believe it's considered polite to knock before opening the door, but your efforts are noticed. May we help you? :) Sheepy: Grif: I will knock it down next time. Arsé-kun: Germain: Please do not. It costs money to repair. Sheepy: Grif: ? Arsé-kun: Germain: It only means lightly making a sound against the door, so occupants know to let you in. It's polite. Arsé-kun: Germain: Either way, too late for that now. What brings you here, Sir? Sheepy: Grif: If I critical, you will have no door. Sheepy: Grif: My cousin has a bad memory. Arsé-kun: Germain: *he just looks at Nyar* He always like this? Sheepy: Nyar: He beats me up for fun and isn't easy to understand. Arsé-kun: Germain: I see. Sheepy: Nyar: What eldritch abomination is your cousin today? Sheepy: Grif: He's a human. Sheepy: Nyar: Disgusting. Arsé-kun: Yog: *faintly* no you Sheepy: Nyar: Yog, can you be clearer than him? Arsé-kun: Yog: What's this? You're being semi-decent about this? Who enabled relationship hacks? *he's kidding* Sheepy: Nyar: If I wasn't he'd turn me into a balloon animal and give me to a child like the clown he is. Arsé-kun: Yog: I have no argument. I can't deny this at all. Arsé-kun: Yog: I'll summarize what I CAN give you. Sheepy: Nyar: Great, go on. Arsé-kun: Yog: His cousin's problem is completely unnatural. Whether this is due to his beyond normal age or an outside factor I cannot say. It has no consistency, seems to have no trigger, and has been studied by skilled mages for years with nothing to show for it. It has, however, gotten worse, forcing the mage in charge of this to reach out for help. Mages tend to be incredibly stubborn- You know this. Sheepy: Nyar: So I'm supposed to fix it? Sheepy: Nyar: What do I get out of it? Arsé-kun: Yog: Not my place to say. You tell me how this will go. Sheepy: Grif: I will snap you in two like the twig you are. Arsé-kun: Yog: ... And that. Sheepy: Nyar: Scary... Sheepy: Nyar: So I can choose my reward? I can, can't I? Sheepy: Nyar: Because maybe I just don't feel like it. Arsé-kun: *background merlin complaints @grif for threatening everyone already* Sheepy: Nyar: Hmmm... Sheepy: Nyar: Hey, I know. You'll have a tough time finding this, so listen close. Sheepy: Grif: I am listening very close. Sheepy: *Grif inches closer to Nyar.* Sheepy: Grif: Closer, closer. Arsé-kun: Germain: Are you going to do what I think you're doing, Nyar? Sheepy: Nyar: Maybe I am! Sheepy: Nyar: Now listen to me young man. I am talking directly into your ear now. I need you to do me a favor. You will do this for me. I need you to go to Gamestop, and I need you to ask the man working the counter if they have Bambi on the PS2. If you come back empty handed, you'll be in big trouble, Griflet. You will never see the light of day. Arsé-kun: *Merlin absolutely loses his shit. Catastrophic composure failure. Thank you, master-class mage.* Sheepy: Grif: [Quest added: Oh Deer! Try not to Forget!] Arsé-kun: *Yog appends a ;) at the end* Sheepy: Grif: Bambi....... Sheepy: Grif: Baaaaaa~ Arsé-kun: Tom: Baaaaaaaa Sheepy: Nyar: Wrong animal! Sheepy: Grif: Beeeehhhh. Sheepy: Grif: I will go. Sheepy: *Grif walks out* Sheepy: Nyar:...Oh shoot. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, you're about to get Bambi on the ps2! How do you feel? Sheepy: Nyar: Afraid. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Ain't that a shame. Sheepy: Nyar: So, it's the wimp next to you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... I don't have the time to argue about this sort of thing. Sure, it's the man with me. Sheepy: Bedi: Actually, that's not my name...is Deewimp a nickname based on Bedwyr? Sheepy: Nyar:......... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...... No, dear. Sheepy: Bedi:....? Sheepy: Nyar: Sheesh, cheer up. Fine, gimme a sec. Sheepy: *Nyar heads over to Bedi and puts his hand on Bedi's forehead* Sheepy: *Nyar seems deep in thought...* Sheepy: *...before looking to Merlin* Arsé-kun: Merlin: *this is concerning* Sheepy: Nyar: Is this a prank? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Eh? Sheepy: Nyar: His memory's perfectly fine. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That can't be right, but if you're the expert... Sheepy: Nyar: His brain's fine. Sheepy: Nyar: Sheesh, have you been trying to fix it this whole time not even knowing the issue? Sheepy: Nyar: You just take a hammer ti everything that vaguely looks like a nail? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I prefer a screwdriver myself, but do you think I haven't been trying? Sheepy: Nyar: It's a curse, not natural memory loss. Arsé-kun: *Merlin squints real hard* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'd have caught it by now if it was. Sheepy: Nyar: Yeah, well, that's a you a problem. Sheepy: Nyar: It's a curse, meaning that I can't fix it. Sheepy: Nyar: Not my area of expertise. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he looks more annoyed than he initially did* Sheepy: Nyar: I'd just put one curse in to combat the other and break everything, so I shouldn't be the one to fix it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Well, you did help still. What kind of reward were you promised? Sheepy: Nyar: I want a bagel. Sheepy: Nyar: But what, did you not know? Then who'd he get it from if not you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I really didn't, no. Why would I need help if I knew?? *but he seems puzzled* Sheepy: Nyar: Any ideas? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... .... Yeah, I might. Watery tart. Sheepy: Nyar: Well, that's your next destination! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hell no! That's how I die! Sheepy: Nyar: Eh? Sheepy: Nyar: Then how're you going to fix it, huh? Sheepy: Bedi: Vivian has always been nice to me, so I can't understand why she would curse me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: To get at me, I bet...! Sheepy: Bedi: I suppose curses do not come with watermarks. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe. We won't know unless we ask her. Arsé-kun: Merlin: They can if you're careless, but that's not here nor there. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nope. You see the shit the other two are in? I like where I am, thanks! Sheepy: Nyar: Oh, your friends were cursed but you weren't? Sheepy: Nyar: Or is yours just minor? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm fairly sure I was. We can't really detect them, but they're all obvious. One of us is restrained to a location, one of us has a bad time whenever we see hot people, one of us starves real easy. Not giving which is which! Sheepy: Nyar: You're the third one 'cause you're here and not dying from my presence. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That'd be a matter of opinion, wouldn't it? Sheepy: Nyar: So the guy with you isn't hot? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ..... No, that's Bedi. Sheepy: Nyar: Ouch. Sheepy: Nyar: Well, it's okay, Grif's Cousin, I'm sure you'll find someone who finds you attractive one day. Sheepy: Bedi: ? Why would I care about people finding me attractive...? As long as the King considers me his knight, my appearance isn't too important... Sheepy: Nyar: So this King is more important to you than anything, huh? Why not date him? Sheepy: Bedi:...? I'm married. And besides... Even if I were not, a lowly knight like myself could never receive such love from his King. I would never be good enough for him, nor to deserve even a smile from my King. Sheepy: Nyar:.....Sheesh, you've got a low self esteem. Sheepy: Nyar: I thought you'd be fun to tease, but you actually already think you're an insignificant wimp... Sheepy: Nyar: But hey! At least your hubby's the kind of guy to date anyone. He isn't picky! Right, Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I don't "date" anyone else. Good try. Sheepy: Nyar: I wasn't calling you dishonest, I was saying you had no standards. Which makes you two perfect for each other! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're just mad because you're below them, aren't you? Sheepy: Nyar: Eh? I've got a boyfriend. Why would I want to date you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, you understand loyalty even when you have another hundred faces to use? What a riot. Sheepy: Nyar:? What would cheating do for me? Arsé-kun: Merlin: More chances to fuck with people? I don't know what you do for a day job. Sheepy: Bedi: But Merlin makes me happier than anyone... Are standards truly so important? He already fulfills mine... Sheepy: Nyar: I do many things! Arsé-kun: *Merlin appreciates you, Bedi! <3* Sheepy: Bedi: My King makes me feel fulfilled and proud. Merlin makes me feel safe and at home wherever I go, so long as we are together. My love for them is very different. Sheepy: Nyar: You're really no fun at all!!! Arsé-kun: Arséne: Please do not terrorize guests in my office. *where the FUCK was this guy?* Sheepy: Nyar: Aw, shaddup, they were here for me, not you, so I can terrorize them wherever I want! Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you for your assistance the other day with my King, Lupin. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Quite welcome. I might be able to help you in the future for whatever, but not now. Sheepy: Bedi: I appreciate your offer. For now, we are fine. Sheepy: Bedi: I may be of assistance as well, depending on your problem. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Good to hear, because I have several cases open at once and I'm not having fun. I don't think I'm legally allowed to take on assistants for most of them, but I appreciate it. Sheepy: Bedi: I see. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, if there's anything legal I can do for you... Arsé-kun: Arséne: Then I'll let you know. Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. Arsé-kun: *Nyar gets his bagel, meanwhile. reward get. 2x bagel* Sheepy: Nyar: Thanks! Arsé-kun: *Impey fingerguns and goes back to his territory. the kitchen* Sheepy: Nyar: What a good pal! Arsé-kun: *meanwhile!* Sheepy: Grif: —We’re meeting your mom? Arsé-kun: Lance: Yes. I was asked, and this is something I can still do. Sheepy: Grif: You should meet my dad one day. He’s green. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Which one? Sheepy: Grif: Dragon. You killed two of his children but he doesn’t hold grudges. It’s fine. Arsé-kun: Lance: O-oh. Sheepy: Grif: He should be waking soon. Unfortunately, eating livestock and burning down villages is no longer considered socially acceptable so he’ll probably just go to a restaurant. Arsé-kun: Lance: We may have to inform him before he tries. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. We can visit him later. He likes you. Sheepy: Grif: But he isn't awake yet... Arsé-kun: Lance: Unfortunate. Sheepy: Grif: Is your mom nice? Sheepy: Grif: I know Merlin fears her. Arsé-kun: Lance: I thought it was only Myrrdin. Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: Then why doesn't he talk to her instead of asking you? Arsé-kun: Lance: .. That is a good point. Sheepy: Grif: But she's nice, right? Arsé-kun: Lance: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Good. Sheepy: Grif: Elyan will like her too. Arsé-kun: Lance: I hope she does too. Sheepy: Grif: Are we close? Arsé-kun: Lance: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Great. I will do my best. Arsé-kun: Lance: Please don't call my mother anything weird. Sheepy: Grif: Uh...uh... Sheepy: Grif:...But if Itry not to, I'll get flustered and will... Arsé-kun: Lance: Then just don't use a name. I guess. Sheepy: Grif: If she's really cool, though...like you...Uh... Sheepy: Grif: *he's visibly flustered* It was hard enough to work up the courage to talk to you...If your mom's cooler.. Sheepy: Grif: I might cry... Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Sheepy: Grif: Very kind of you to offer to absorb my tears, Elyan. Arsé-kun: *Lance leads Grif into a clearing. There is a lake- A much larger, cleaner lake than the last one he saw. It's very colorful here, with a little bit of that morning mist. Something is a little off, but it's fae territory, so it will be like that.* Sheepy: Grif: Ah...it's pretty. Sheepy: Grif: Very nice... Arsé-kun: Lance: It is. Arsé-kun: Lance: I just hope Mom is actually here. Sheepy: Grif: Does she leave her lake? Arsé-kun: Lance: Yeah, sometimes. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... Sheepy: Grif: Like Elyan. Sheepy: Grif: What do we do if she isn't here? Arsé-kun: Lance: I don't know. Wait around? Take a nap? Sheepy: Grif: I like naps. Sheepy: Grif: Especially in nice places. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe she doesn't know we're here. Arsé-kun: Lance: Oh, maybe.. Sheepy: Grif: We can call for her. Sheepy: Grif: *he clears his throat* Helloooo? Arsé-kun: *Several woodland animals look up. They then go back to their own business.* Sheepy: *Elyan holds his head up to the sky, craning his neck. He outstretches his wings, opens his mouth...and...* Sheepy: Elyan: HEWWO??? Arsé-kun: *The water bubbles, and a very pretty woman rises out of the lake. It's an almost ethereal experience until she throws a wrench at Elyan for his crimes on her territory* Sheepy: *Elyan responds to being hit by a wrench by doing what peacocks do best: screaming. Loudly* Sheepy: Grif:...! *he's awestruck!* Arsé-kun: *She casually strolls across the lake's surface, gradually turning from water to something more human, a big smile on her face and the intent to kick a bird* Arsé-kun: Vivian: Welcome and good morning, brave knights. Sheepy: Grif: Uh...uh... *he's visibly flustered* Sheepy: Elyan: *he turns into a puddle before shifting into a knight-like form. Something about the armor is eerie...* Sheepy: *...Perhaps the fact there's nobody inside it?* Arsé-kun: *Vivian wordlessly grabs Elyan's collar and throws him back into the lake. Unimportant* Arsé-kun: Lance: *he's been debating what to say, as to look good and--* Hi, Mom! I brought Grif! *nailed it* Sheepy: *Elyan melts* Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Sheepy: Grif: I'm Griflet. It's nice to meet you, Mom. Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: !!! Sheepy: *Grif quickly realizes his mistake. He's begun panicking...* Sheepy: Grif: I-I...! It was the first name I thought of!! Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... *she just lightly pats his head* I don't mind. It does happen sometimes. Sheepy: Grif: Uh...But... I should know your name. Sheepy: Grif:...But I don't. Sheepy: Grif: However... I do know. Sheepy: Grif: You are a [Quest NPC]. Arsé-kun: Vivian: neat Sheepy: Grif: Let me see the options. Sheepy: Grif: >Tell me of this "Bambi" creature. Arsé-kun: Lance: Wh... Bambi's just a deer from some kid's movie. Why are you bringing that up now..? Sheepy: Grif: Nyarlathotep told me to find Bambi on the Playstation 2. Arsé-kun: Lance: Doesn't exist. Sheepy: Grif: ...! Sheepy: Grif: But...His reward for figuring out why Bedivere had memory loss was Bambi on the Playstation 2... Sheepy: Grif: Why did Merlin not stop me, I wonder. Sheepy: Grif: Right, that is why we are here...How do we fix it... Sheepy: Grif: But my Courage is too low to not get flustered... Arsé-kun: Vivian: Hm? Something happened to Bedivere? I liked that one.. Sheepy: Grif: He lost all of his memories yesterday after apparently struggling with memory problems for a while. Sheepy: Grif: Merlin blames you. Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... *she seems to be thinking* ... And what kind of state was that rat of a man in? *she means Merlin* Sheepy: Grif: He seemed perfectly fine. Arsé-kun: Vivian: *she frowns* And the other two? Arsé-kun: Lance: Well, uh, Meril is trapped inside that tree... Still. Sheepy: Grif: Myrrdin is cursed. Sheepy: Grif: He suffers when he thinks about women. His coping method is to hole himself into his room all day like he did before you cursed him. Sheepy: Grif: If he died in there, it would take a week or two for anyone to start being concerned. Scary. Sheepy: Grif: Simply, the only difference between Meril and Myrrdin in that respect is the fact that one has the choice to leave but simply does not take it. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Thank you. So two of the curses have stuck even to this day.. But the third... Sheepy: Grif: So your third curse probably has stuck around to this day. Sheepy: Grif: Merlin thought your curse was to make him need to feed on more emotions. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Either he had all the attention or he was going to. I figured it would do him good to get a reset and suffer along the way... Arsé-kun: Vivian: I did no such thing as that. Sheepy: Grif: So it hit the wrong person. Arsé-kun: Vivian: It unfortunately does appear so. Sheepy: Grif: How can it be fixed? Sheepy: Grif: He is important to future quests most likely. Arsé-kun: Vivian: If those excuses for mages were not able to get rid of it by now, I'm not sure I would be able to either. But I would certainly have to try. Sheepy: Grif: Meril could be, too... But Myrrdin is useless to me. He charges higher prices for his services than many less convenient shopkeepers do and his bond only unlocks more items and services that are most likely too expensive. He occasionally snapped at me when I entered his room, too, back in Camelot. He can stay cursed, even if it would give me a few bond levels if I lifted it. Sheepy: Grif: I can try punching him until the curse leaves. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Ugh, HIM! Yes! He never left unless he was forced out, and even then he was expecting people to just... Treat him like royalty! Arsé-kun: Vivian: So yes, please, punch him until it works. I will pay you to see it. Sheepy: Grif: He complains about how busy he is but doesn't even do the dirty work. He would sometimes send me off to get ingredients for him and have such vague descriptions that I would return with the wrong thing and he'd snap at me... Yes. I will punch him. Sheepy: Grif: [QUEST ADDED: You're Myrrdone for!] Sheepy: Grif: Sometimes he wouldn't even remember that he asked me to do something in the first place and then drag me in to socialize with him. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Please tell me he's learned his lesson by now..! Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Sheepy: Grif: He seems lonely but still rarely leaves home because he's afraid. Especially around lakes. He refuses to get near bodies of water. Sheepy: Grif: He told me that the last time he tried leaving the house alone, he bumped into a serial killer who tried to crucify him and ended up in a hospital right next to a mind controlling slug. Sheepy: Grif: He hasn't changed his behavior at all, the reasons have just changed. Arsé-kun: Lance: Oh, that's true. It really did happen. Coworker knew the guy that did it. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... And the slug, but this isn't about that!! Sheepy: Grif: The slug is slimy. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I have been wondering about him.. But yes, this really is off topic. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Making him afraid of going out was not the intention. Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... Then again, I may have underestimated his ability to flirt with everything that moves. Sheepy: Grif: There's nothing to flirt with in his room. Arsé-kun: Vivian: He'd find a way. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: That is why I must punch him until he's a decent person. Arsé-kun: Lance: Maybe.. Maybe at least stop if he gets too injured? Sheepy: Grif: Is he so weak not to be able to handle a hundred punches? Arsé-kun: Lance: From you? Yes, likely. Sheepy: Grif:...? Sheepy: Grif: He can have an inch of his life. Sheepy: Grif: He will realize my mercy and give me bond points. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Most importantly, if you can bring Bedivere here, to me, without any of those wizards, I will try to remove it. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I will do so. Sheepy: Grif: [QUEST ACCEPTED: Fixing Past Mist-lakes] Sheepy: Grif: Certainly, Merlin will trust me not to drag him in a side quest and end up with us both locked in a dungeon like the last time. Sheepy: Grif: The food was subpar and my other quest was timed so I broke out to finish my other quest and then returned to the dungeon (with a very unhappy Bedivere in tow) Arsé-kun: Lance: I trust you'll have a plan if it doesn't go so easily? Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif: Dismember Merlin. Arsé-kun: Lance: Bedivere wouldn't like that. Sheepy: Grif: Knock him out? Arsé-kun: Lance: Still not healthy, but better. Sheepy: Grif: ... Sheepy: Grif: Throw him into my inventory? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Absolutely not. He would still be here. Sheepy: Grif: Bill. How high is your Charisma? Arsé-kun: Lance: I have no idea. Not as high as it used to be. Why? Sheepy: Grif: You can lose Charisma...?! Sheepy: Grif: But mine is already so low... Arsé-kun: Lance: I don't think you can go negative.. Sheepy: Grif: Uh... I was thinking about distraction. Sheepy: Grif: But that wouldn’t work. Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: Are you ready? Sheepy: Grif: My newest plan... Arsé-kun: Lance: I suppose so.. Sheepy: Grif: We swap roles. You bring Bedivere here. I bring Merlin on a quest and get us thrown in a dungeon. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... You know? That might work. Sheepy: Grif: We need to find a dungeon now. Sheepy: Grif: But where? Sheepy: Grif:...We can figure it out later. Arsé-kun: Lance: I'm just glad we have some kind of plan, at least. Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: Why is Merlin banned, anyway? You can put the curse on the right person if he comes too. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I don't want to see him. Sheepy: Grif: Three quests... Good. Back in action. Sheepy: Grif: Let's work hard. Arsé-kun: Lance: Yes, lets! Sheepy: Grif: You can come too. Sheepy: Grif: Unless you don't want to. Arsé-kun: Lance: Well, I certainly have to come part of the way, at least. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: *Grif drags Lance off to go find a dungeon.* Arsé-kun: *Vivian waits a few moments, and then goes back to the water to scoop Elyan out* Sheepy: Elyan: *Despite his watery form, he seems confused and concerned. Was he forgotten? Did he miss a cue and was supposed to stay for some super secret reason?* Arsé-kun: Vivian: Don't look so sad at me. He'll be right back. Sheepy: Elyan: *This doesn't seem to make him any less anxious. Is he not a good enough partner?* Arsé-kun: *Elyan gets pet* Sheepy: *Elyan calms down a little. He appreciates it!* Arsé-kun: *We then cut ahead to our current heroes arriving at the bar* Arsé-kun: Merlin: --But no! A forklift cannot lift another forklift WHILE it's being lifted! Physics don't work that way! Sheepy: Bedi: What...? Does it lose its lifting tool as it's being lifted? Sheepy: Bedi: So they could not be used as a staircase to the heavens then? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's lifter would be too high up to reach the bottom of the other forklift, first off, and second off no! Sheepy: Bedi:...? Arsé-kun: *Merlin groans, and busts out the hot wheels forklifts to demonstrate exactly how this does not work* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ---And anyway, you'd also have to account for more than just the forklifts. The weather, the wind direction and speed, airplane flight traffic, space rocks, who knows! Arsé-kun: Merlin: But if you stack a whole shitton of them like a staircase, and have enough counterbalance at the bottom, then MAYBE?? Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Why use those when you can just try to be shot out of a cannon? Arsé-kun: Merlin: No! Absolutely not! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You would die before you even hit the stratosphere, or you wouldn't make it that far! This isn't Kirby, you can't escape the planet's velocity with a cannon! Or this tree apparently, but that's a different story and we're not telling it! Arsé-kun: Merlin: And yes, hello, Sir Knights, what brings you here this time?? Sheepy: Grif: You. Come here. I need you. Sheepy: Bedi: Griflet, you should use "please" and greet us before you ask for something. Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: [Your Charisma isn't high enough to do that.] Sheepy: Grif: [Your Charisma isn't high enough to do that.] Sheepy: Grif: [Your Charisma isn't high enough to do that.] Sheepy: Bedi: Um... Sheepy: Bedi: We can work on it. Okay? Sheepy: Grif: [You have unlocked Charisma Tutor.] Arsé-kun: Lance: Outside of that, Sir Bedivere, I believe I have found a place that would work excellently for our sparring. Arsé-kun: Lance: While it was originally Sir Griflet's idea, as he is busy with several quests, I figure it would be best if we scoped it out beforehand. Arsé-kun: Merlin: One of which apparently needs me? Why? Sheepy: Bedi: Really? Excellent work! Sheepy: Grif: Why do you need reasons behind actions? Sheepy: Grif: Stop looking for logic. Sheepy: Bedi: You should be more polite and simply say you don't know. Sheepy: Grif: Hm. Sheepy: Bedi: It definitely is...! Arsé-kun: *Lancelot's Best Day in this Century Ever. He saw his Mom AND got complimented. It is a good day to be Sir Lancelot* Arsé-kun: *Yog opens the quest log for Grif to show that yes, Merlin is specifically required for [Quest: A Job Well Done-geon]. It is a requirement* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, gross. Should I not wear my good coat for this? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Wear what you want. Sheepy: Grif: But if you wear an outfit that makes you as slow as a bad escort quest, I will simply put you into my inventory until I need you. Sheepy: Grif: I do not allow slow escorts. I run into them the whole time or run ahead without waiting for them. Sheepy: Grif: If they get mauled by enemies, well... Sheepy: Grif: It is a failed mission. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... I'm gonna wear the heavy coat. I have a bad feeling we'll be out late. Sheepy: Grif: If it's late enough, I'll swap to my pajamas so I can sleep. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm not even going to explain the problems here. Sheepy: Grif: Do you doubt my ownership of pajamas? Sheepy: Grif: I wear them over my armor. Arsé-kun: Merlin: How? How do you have them? You went right from our time to now. PJs were invented in... Uh. *he stops to look it up* 1870. Sheepy: Grif: I bought them. Sheepy: Grif: You may see them. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I see. You'd been introduced to capitalism. Sheepy: Grif: [Griflet swapped to Dragon Onesie costume.] Sheepy: Grif: *...Despite his claim that there's armor underneath, it's not visible. JRPG costume magic!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wait, this means I can..! Sheepy: Grif: Hm? Arsé-kun: *Merlin swaps to a Fou onesie. with magic. yknow* Arsé-kun: Merlin: :D! Sheepy: Grif: We are coordinated now. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But if you think I'm wearing this in combat, you're so wrong! Sheepy: Bedi: I see! Fursona suits! Arsé-kun: Lance: .... I hate that you know those words in that order. Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin said that there's a convention where you wear your fursona as a suit and interact with other fursonas. Sheepy: Bedi: It's called a furry convention. Arsé-kun: *Griflet's glossary updated.* Sheepy: Grif: [Fur-monology has been added to the glossary.] Sheepy: Bedi: I would like to go to a convention one day. I have heard there are many different types. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But not that one! Nuh-uh, no way! Sheepy: Bedi: Is it problematic. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It gets gross. Sheepy: Grif: Purroblematic. Sheepy: Grif:........ Sheepy: Grif:...Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: *Yog sheds a single tear in his anti dimension* Sheepy: Bedi: Gross...? Hmm.. Well, one day we can go to a convention that you choose. Sheepy: Bedi: I know very little on the subject but find them fascinating. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe if we figure out the cure for their curses, Myrrdin and Meril can come, too. Sheepy: Grif:...! Myrrdin... Sheepy: Grif: I forgot about my quest of beating him to an inch of his life. Sheepy: Grif: I must do that. Sheepy: Bedi: Um, he isn't home... Arsé-kun: Lance: *phew* Sheepy: Grif: Is she picky? Can I choose Merlin or Meril instead? Sheepy: Grif: But they're nice enough...Meanwhile Myrrdin is nice sometimes and sometimes he acts nasty towards me and tells me that I'm bothering him by just being there.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Are you sure that isn't his substitute? Because I'm gonna suplex that guy. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *mac loading icon* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Who the hell is "she"? Sheepy: Grif: ? Bill's mom. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I am no longer interested in going outside with you! *you can HEAR the terror in his voice* Thank you! Come again! Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: Why? Sheepy: Grif: She's never done anything to you. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Bedivere, I recommend we go now or we won't get the chance to. Sheepy: Bedi:...? Oh, right! Sheepy: Bedi: Let's get going then. Sheepy: *Bedi begins heading out with Lance* Arsé-kun: *Fou waves him off. Goodbye friend* Sheepy: *Bedi leaves!* Sheepy: Grif: ...And anyway, it is not as though she leaves her lake. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We're not going there, right?!? Sheepy: Grif: What? No, of course not. Sheepy: Grif: I don't have any business there. Sheepy: Grif: Nor do you. This isn't an escort quest. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Do I have to? Sheepy: Grif: What, do you truly fear her that much? Arsé-kun: Merlin: She's scary! Sheepy: Grif: She was nice to me. Sheepy: Grif: I accidentally called her "Mom" and she wasn't bothered by it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wh-why were you even there?? Sheepy: Grif:? You told Bill to meet with her. We bumped into each other and went together. Sheepy: Grif: She told me that Myrrdin would refuse to leave his room and expect to be treated like royalty when he did. I told her that he was mean, ordered me around, and forgetful. Sheepy: Grif: You know, sometimes he'd give me an earful and then I'd return with what he'd asked for and he'd act all cheerful and nice like he didn't remember me. Sheepy: Grif:.....Hmm, hold on a moment. Sheepy: Grif: You said "substitute"...? There is two of him...? Sheepy: Grif:...! Horrible, awful! Why two?! One is bad enough! One is so strict and mean! One acts sweet and funny... although I don't understand his jokes. Which is the substitute? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The mean one! I rag on the copy too, fuck that guy! He's SUCH a prick! Arsé-kun: Merlin: He can do more than two but that's where it stops being fun. They start arguing... Sheepy: Grif: R-really? Sheepy: Grif:...How many do I need to punch? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Really. I need to split myself just to harass him one day-- Uh.. Preferably just the one? Sheepy: Grif: You can split yourself? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I've done it a few times, but not the same way he does. Not as fun for me. Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: But oh, you went with Lancelot, that makes more sense... Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: We visited his mom. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Makes sense. So where was he going now..? Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: Th...they're...going to, uh, a sparring spot. Like Bill said. Were you not listening? Listen better next time! Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, I really wasn't. I was too angry about physics. Sheepy: Grif:...Uh..Yeah! That's your issue! Arsé-kun: Merlin: But okay. What did you need me for now? Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: Dungeon running. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hmmm. Oh well. I guess a good dungeon exploration sounds like it could be fun. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: *Merlin shifts his outfit back to normal and then goes upstairs for some Gear™* Sheepy: *Grif waits patiently* Arsé-kun: *Merlin returns with a big winter coat and Stuff* Sheepy: Grif: Looks warm. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It is. But okay! Enough! Onwards before we lose motivation! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: *Grif leads the way!* Arsé-kun: *They're briefly spotted by Arséne while loading his grocery shopping into his car. This is the second time I've mentioned it ever bc he doesn't use it much. But here it is necessary. Anyway, he's glad they don't notice bc he's busy doing normal people things* Sheepy: *Especially since Grif is carrying a sword in plain sight* Arsé-kun: *nobody really cares. they've all seen weirder* Sheepy: *true* Arsé-kun: *like the giant lake slug. that was weird* Sheepy: Grif: Here we are. Arsé-kun: *SPEAKING OF LAKE SLUG, he's not here. The caves are though!* Sheepy: Grif: A slug was here once. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So I heard. This place has some bad juju. Sheepy: Grif: It has zombies. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Bad start. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Merlin: They can cause infections and all sorts of nasty stuff. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Poison damage. Sheepy: Grif: You can heal poison damage. Yes? Arsé-kun: Merlin: If I don't screw up, yes. Let's just hope it's not necrotic damage too. Sheepy: Grif: Necrotic? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Subtype. Rotting damage. From undead. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: That is concerning. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's gross. Like no thanks, don't want to be hit by a sharp corpse! Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... Sheepy: Grif: Then what do we do? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Explore anyway! You're not gonna let some dead sons of bitches stop you, right? Sheepy: Grif: You aren't coming? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, I'm coming, but you're in the lead, chief! Sheepy: Grif:...Right. Sheepy: *Grif goes inside.* Arsé-kun: *it's wet. it's mossy. it's moldy. it's dark and stinky* Sheepy: Grif: Stinky. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Uh oh, stinky. Sheepy: Grif: Let's find loot. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I sure hope there's some! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Let's keep going. Sheepy: *It feels as though they're being followed as they go further in...* Arsé-kun: *Merlin doesn't detect anything. He hates it.* Sheepy: *Something drips on Merlin...* Arsé-kun: *Merlin glances up and puts a hand out. He expects it to just be ceiling moisture.* Sheepy: *There's something similar to a spider leg hovering above him...* Sheepy: *But much more ice-like!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Hey, Grif? Come back here and identify this. Sheepy: Grif:...? Sheepy: *Grif returns to Merlin.* Sheepy: Grif: It's a cave ceiling. Arsé-kun: Merlin: For fuck's sake. How big can monster spiders get? Sheepy: Grif: Very large. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I just saw a huge spider leg up there for a minute. Sheepy: Grif: I don't see anything. Arsé-kun: Merlin: No shit, it's gone now. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe it was just hungry. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'd like to not be vored by a gigantic arachnid. Sheepy: Grif: Then don't get eaten. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Lifechanging. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Let's keep going. Sheepy: Grif: If it's a spider, we just dismember it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's true. All that silk might be good for something! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: *Grif turns around and continues on.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin follows him* Sheepy: *...For a bit, everything goes normal, before... the previously seen spider leg slips into the back of Merlin's shirt! It's cold and wet like ice.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin yelps and takes the dash action to get the FUCK out of dodge* Sheepy: *...Whatever it is is being dragged along with him!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: GRIIIIIIIIIIIFFF! Sheepy: Grif:....? *he looks back* Did you make a friend, Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: IT'S TOUCHING ME Sheepy: Grif: It's panicking as much as you are. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Get it off me please, quick! It feels like death's cold hand is reaching down my spine! Sheepy: *Grif pulls off the creature being dragged by Merlin and shows it to him. It's none other than...a headless man with tendrils coming from his back.* Sheepy: Grif: Look, Merlin, he's trembling. You frightened him. Arsé-kun: *That's not very expected or normal. Really* Arsé-kun: Merlin: But he grabbed me first..! Sheepy: *The headless man is rapidly doing different hand motions. It appears to be very panicked sign language.* Sheepy: Grif: You can apologize to each other. Sheepy: ?: ........ "Sorry. It was a prank." Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Was it? ... Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Alright, you really got me. Sheepy: ?: "Where are we?" Arsé-kun: Merlin: We arrrrre under a lake in a cavern system in *someone honks a trunk horn in the right place on the road and it fuckin echos thru the entire cavern. it's incredible.* Sheepy: ?: "I don't know where that is." Arsé-kun: Merlin: W- *this happens a second time. This should not be possible. Water dilutes sound.* Sheepy: ?: "I am new here. I am looking for my family, but my horse has been eaten and my new mount is unruly." Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's rough, buddy. Sheepy: ?: "Are you lost, too?" Arsé-kun: Merlin: A little, but we came down here to explore. Sheepy: ?: "So I can tag along?" Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sure, why not? Sheepy: ?: "Thank you. I don't know my name anymore. Let me see..." Sheepy: *Despite his lack of a head, he seems deep in thought...* Arsé-kun: *Body language and reading emotions (for Merlin)* Arsé-kun: *also apparently he can see despite his lack of head. this poor man* Sheepy: ?: "Well, I think most accurate would be something along the lines of 'Headless Rider of the Sleepy Hollows'." Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he solemnly nods* Ah, yes. The horseless headless man. Sheepy: ?: "Not a horseman anymore. My horse was eaten by a wolf." Arsé-kun: Merlin: Color me surprised. Didn't know a dullahan's horse could be killed to begin with. heepy: Grif: So the wolf must be connected to death in some way, too. Like a demon that consumes souls and prevents them from being able to pass on. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Magical wolf.... Fenrir? Hati or Skoll? Sheepy: ?: "I don't know. He's been letting me ride him for the time being for some reason. He seems stressed." Sheepy: ?: "But he seems to mostly have a taste for humans." Sheepy: Grif: So he is an enemy to slay. Sheepy: ?: ...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Now, now. Some dragons eat only humans and you still let them live. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... Sheepy: Grif: So he may not be evil? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Probably not. Why would an animal know better? Sheepy: Grif:....True. Sheepy: *Something is shifting in the darkness...* Sheepy: Grif: Let's keep going. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, of course. We wouldn't want to miss any timegated events~ Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: *Grif keeps walking.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin starts to follow, then turns back to drag the headless horseless man with them. Logic be damned* Sheepy: *Suddenly, something jumps out from the darkness!* Arsé-kun: *BUT WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT!!!* Sheepy: Bedi: --This seems like a nice place to spar! Arsé-kun: Lance: I most Certainly said so. *he is proud of himself. look ma he did it* Sheepy: Bedi: You were right! Arsé-kun: *+100 pride. +10 appreciation. This is still the best day of his life so far in the 2000s* Sheepy: Bedi: I've always been fascinated by water because my travels have only lead me across land. Arsé-kun: Lance: And we don't need to go far to clean up. Nobody comes here, we won't get in trouble. Sheepy: Bedi: Incredible...! Sheepy: Bedi: Thankfully, I remembered my sword. Have you forgotten your sword before? It is very embarrassing. Sheepy: Bedi: However, the reason why I know this is not personal experience, but secondhand embarrassment from Lucan. Arsé-kun: Lance: Of course. It happens. .... On the other hand, I had to once fight someone with nothing but a stop sign, and it is very effective. Sheepy: Bedi: I feel as though you could fight using any object as a weapon and havs a good chance at winning. Arsé-kun: Lance: Well! Maybe so now that it's been said! *BEST DAY OF! MY! LIFE* Sheepy: Bedi: Yes! And by sparring, we will both become less rusty. Arsé-kun: Lance: Well then, shall we begin? Sheepy: *Bedi gets ready to spar!* Arsé-kun: *Lancelot is Ready!* Sheepy: *They spar!* Arsé-kun: *It goes in a way. Stupid things are done by all involved. Smart things happen. And then the minute they're too tired to continue, Lance puts his stuff down and throws himself into the lake. Typical Lancelot* Sheepy: Bedi: *huff, huff* ...Good job, Sir Lancelot...! Arsé-kun: Lance: I should be saying that to you, Sir Bedivere..! For being rusty, you did well! Sheepy: Bedi:...! Thank you. However... If I am not strong enough to protect my King, I must keep working at it. Sheepy: Bedi:...! Thank you. However... If I am not strong enough to protect my King, I must keep working at it. Arsé-kun: Lance: And yourself. You can't usually protect someone if you are dead. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm... Sheepy: Bedi: I'd never thought of protecting myself. Arsé-kun: Lance: Most ghosts can't use physical objects. If you die, you're probably screwed. Sheepy: Bedi: However, if it bought my King even a second more of life, it would be worth it to me. Arsé-kun: Lance: I can already tell that Merlin would be pouting. Sheepy: Bedi: Ahaha... Yes, I suppose the same would apply for Merlin. Sheepy: Bedi: However, I devoted my life to my King. That is what it should be used for. Arsé-kun: Lance: And you kept with it. How honorable of you. Sheepy: Bedi: But the King passing at the Battle of Camlann makes me think I am too weak to protect him if the time ever came that I needed to. Arsé-kun: Vivian: The King's passing was unfortunate, but predetermined. Your loyalty and strength of will shall not go unnoticed any longer. Sheepy: Bedi: What? It was predetermined...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... Everyone dies. That is a simple fact of mortal life. It was bound to happen. Do not stress- That you have come this far is such a testament of will. Sheepy: Bedi:...Thank you. Arsé-kun: Vivian: You're quite welcome. You are also welcome to come here whenever you'd like. The Excalibur let you handle it for a reason. .. But this is not about that. Sheepy: Bedi:...! Thank you! Sheepy: Bedi:...But what is this about? Arsé-kun: Vivian: I wanted to apologize to you. After all this time, it's been recognized that when I went to curse the three incubi, one of the curses did not land where it was intended. That would most likely be why your memory has degraded so much. Sheepy: Bedi:...! Sheepy: Bedi:...So I protected Merlin unknowingly. Arsé-kun: Vivian: That seems to be the case, yes. Sheepy: Bedi: The fact I was able to protect him brings me joy. *He appears surprisingly pleased!* Arsé-kun: Vivian: How sweet. I still intend to curse him, but it will be on a much more minor level. Because he has not had the needed karma. Bastard. Sheepy: Bedi: “Karma”...? Has he wronged you in some way? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Either way, lets focus on the main priority, that being that you carry the curse you never deserved. Sheepy: Bedi: Can it be broken? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Would you like to find out now? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah..I mean, of course. Sheepy: Bedi: But how? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Considering where my brand of magic works best... How long can you hold your breath for, approximately? Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm? Not as long as Sir Kay can. Arsé-kun: Vivian: That would be a given. Sheepy: Bedi: My experience with water is minimal. Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... Noted. I'll have Elyan assist you then. Sheepy: Bedi: Elyan is here...? He is never far from Sir Griflet... Arsé-kun: Vivian: And Sir Griflet was here earlier today. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, for a quest to punch Myrrdin... But he was out. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Out of the building or out cold? This affects my response. Sheepy: Bedi: Out of the building. Arsé-kun: Vivian: That is unfortunate. Sheepy: Bedi:....? But him being comfortable enough to leave the home alone is a miracle after he was attacked by a serial killer the last time he went out alone. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I only requested a punch, not a murderous beatdown. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, the serial killer wasn't Griflet. Arsé-kun: Vivian: That does explain a lot. Sheepy: Bedi: He was running around trying to turn people into art pieces and attempted crucifying Myrrdin. Arsé-kun: Vivian: How... Ironic. I may need to look into this later on. Sheepy: Bedi: Um... what was his name... Sheepy: Bedi: Stephano something. Sheepy: Bedi:...Ah, right, what did you need from me? Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... How long can you hold your breath for, again? Sheepy: Bedi: I don't know. My swimming experience is limited. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Do your best. Now, you have several moments to prepare yourself. Sheepy: Bedi: *he inhales sharply* ...I will succeed! Arsé-kun: *Vivian draws near and places a hand on his chest.... Before sharply whipping herself around and dunking him into the lake. Vivian has gains bro* Sheepy: Bedi: --!! Arsé-kun: *She asked for a REASON, Bedivere!!* Sheepy: *And yet, Bedi is having difficulty!* Arsé-kun: *Probably because he got slammed in with a force greater than he expected.* Sheepy: *Thanks to Elyan's help, Bedi didn't drown! But he's tired, dazed, and confused.* Arsé-kun: *This is perfectly understandable, and no one will complain about this. If anything happened in the water, well, Lance doesn't know because he's paid this entire scene 0% attention* Sheepy: Bedi:...Did it...did it work? Arsé-kun: Vivian: It certainly seems like it did, but perhaps I should have been more gentle. Sheepy: Bedi: No. I am fine. ...Just, feeling out of it. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I would let you rest here on the shore, but it is moderately cold... Ah, I know. Sheepy: Bedi:...? Sheepy: Bedi:.....? *he enjoys the warmth, but a question is haunting him...* Sheepy: Bedi:....How did you get a driver's license...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: By signing up for an adult's driving course and going through it. ...And a fake ID. Arsé-kun: Vivian: It is a pain. Sheepy: Bedi: I see... Sheepy: Bedi: Too bad. Sheepy: Bedi: If they didn't require them, getting groceries would be easier. Sheepy: Bedi:...Groceries...Why does that seem important... Arsé-kun: Vivian: Worry about it once you are home. It sounds like something Merlin forgot to do. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes... good idea. Sheepy: Bedi: I cannot worry about it currently. Sheepy: Bedi: I can worry about it at home. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Try not to stress yourself out. We'll head there in a moment. Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you...I'll try to relax. Arsé-kun: *Vivian pats his head and leaves him in the car to do a few minor tasks* Arsé-kun: *Which include placing Elyan in Bedi's lap to absorb the water, throwing Lancelot on the truck bed (he does not appreciate this bc it is covered in snow), and putting on more truck-appropriate clothes so she doesn't have to drive in her good dress. Overalls n' plaid for the hardworking swordwoman.* Arsé-kun: *and no, no one is allowed to see that last part* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, this is where Elyan ended up...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: It is. Sheepy: Bedi: I see... Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Arsé-kun: *Viv honks the truck's horn. Hjonk* Sheepy: Bedi: Griflet will probably return to the cafe after his mission is done... Sheepy: Bedi: Myrrdin should be there by now, too. Sheepy: Bedi: He'll probably be in his room if you want to talk to him. Arsé-kun: Vivian: How exciting. But all right. *she starts her truck and puts her seatbelt on* Get'cher seatbelt on and lets get this show on the road. Sheepy: *Bedi buckles himself in!* Sheepy: Bedi: I am ready whenever. Arsé-kun: *and so, Vivian pulls the truck out of park and Lets Fuckin' Go* Sheepy: *The bar is open as always!* Arsé-kun: *Yes, but she has to PARK FIRST. Inconspicuous parking in front of an empty lot? Harder than it looks probably.* Sheepy: *true!* Arsé-kun: *Lance found dead on the sidewalk somewhere because you generally can't stay on an icy back of a pickup truck. It just doesn't happen* Arsé-kun: *But Bedi and Elyan made it, 100% safe and in one piece!* Sheepy: Bedi: This is our destination. Sheepy: Bedi: *he gets out of the car* Thank you for the ride. Sheepy: *Elyan is already making his way to the door wordlessly* Arsé-kun: Vivian: You're quite welcome. Lets give them a surprise, shall we? Sheepy: *Bedi enters the bar* Sheepy: Bedi: I'm back! Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou're fou! *hello, this bar is run by fou and only fou* Sheepy: *Meril is nowhere to be seen...* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, Fou, it's just you today...? Sheepy: Bedi: So Myrrdin is in his room and Meril must be sleeping somewhere. Arsé-kun: *Fou turns around and peers over the bar* Sheepy: Bedi: Hmmm... I see. Sheepy: Bedi: Your best bet may be meeting Myrrdin first, then... Sheepy: Bedi: He should be in his room. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Ah, of course he is. Sheepy: Bedi: Unfortunately. Sheepy: Bedi: Unfortunately, Meril is most knowledgeable on making drinks and he's asleep. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I don't mind. I would much rather wait until after I've finished for that. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, I understand. Sheepy: Bedi: I think Griflet dragged Merlin somewhere, so he will be out for a while... Arsé-kun: Vivian: That does make this easier. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, Arsé-kun: Vivian: If he kills me, Lancelot gets my truck. I'll be back soon. Arsé-kun: *Viv goes upstairs. It isn't hard to follow the neet-ass stank. That's a joke but he can't be hard to find if he's stationary.* Sheepy: *Especially since his room is labelled!* Arsé-kun: *Vivian considers messing with him, but he's been through enough. She'll be polite to him this time and knock.* Sheepy: Myrrdin: *he takes a few moments to finish before opening the door. He looks surprised!* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Uh... It's serious if you're here to see me. Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... ... I'll be blunt, this shit's lasted too long and I'm going to personally remove it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: ...? But I deserved it. Arsé-kun: Vivian: You deserved it, yes. Absolutely. I can't disagree. Instead, you've gotten to the point where it is more damaging. Sheepy: Myrrdin: That's true, but I've learned to live with it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: However...I definitely wouldn't object to its removal. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Listen, I don't want to hear you whining behind a closed door how you'll be the only one not lifted. You will. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Shoot...I thought it might've been for a different reason like... Uh, "I'm not mad at you anymore, so I'm removing it"... Arsé-kun: Vivian: Absolutely not. I'm just being polite. Sheepy: Myrrdin: You're still mad...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: The word is "Bitter", and yes. So can you hold your breath for longer now or do I need to treat you like a newborn? This is for important reasons. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept agreeing to meet up with you when I knew leaving alone wasn't something I felt comfortable doing. I should've just explained the situation. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Oh, I haven't gone swimming or anything, so I'm no better than when we last met. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I thought giving you distance was the best option so I really only interacted with water for drinking and bathing. Arsé-kun: Vivian: *she sighs.* You need to get out more. And what, did you think I was going to show up in a chlorine-hole and pants you? Sheepy: Myrrdin: The last time I went out alone other than today I got stabbed multiple times. Sheepy: Myrrdin: And anyway, they added the capability of socializing without ever leaving your room! Shopping without ever leaving your room! Working without ever leaving your room! Modern technology is amazing! Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... Yes, we can talk about that first part later. I have questions about that. Sheepy: Myrrdin: However, I still enjoy walking around at night...sleeping in graveyards... Hmm, they don't really allow you to use zoom in graveyards... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Oh, right, removing it...Well, the fountain is here if you want to use it. Arsé-kun: Vivian: So you don't interact with water, but you kept it..? I can't wait to see my fountain looking like a rat's pissing pool. Sheepy: Myrrdin: No! I kept it clean! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I wouldn't let it get dirty. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But I stay away from lakes and pools. I wanted to give you distance until you weren't mad anymore. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I thought my presence would only make you angrier. "He won't come out tor me but he'll come out for some plants?" and so on. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Fair, but it's true. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If it helps any, I won't go out for the plants either. Arsé-kun: Vivian: So you've gotten worse. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If I can't get someone to do it for me, I'll usually just make a double through magic... if my luck is right, he'll be willing to go out. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If I can't get someone to doit for me, I'll usually just make a double through magic... if my luck is right, he'll be willing to go out. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Hey, it's too dangerous to go out alone. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Save talking for afterwards. Please. Be quiet. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Fine, but only if you aren't going to leave the second you're done. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So, what do I do? Arsé-kun: Vivian: I'm not. I still have Meril to deal with after you. Now get in the fountain. Sheepy: *Myrrdin does as told.* Arsé-kun: *Vivian starts trying to remove this curse as well, but it's far stronger than the last one and it doesn't budge* Sheepy: *Myrrdin seems to be pained but is keeping his mouth shut...* Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... How often do you cause this to go off? Sheepy: Myrrdin: *he grins sheepishly* Well... Arsé-kun: Vivian: .... You're a mess. You're lucky you're cute, Myrr. Sheepy: Myrrdin:!! Arsé-kun: *Vivian starts managing to physically rip this curse off of Myrrdin's body. However, the curse is so strong by now that it can and will fight back with it's... Slimy, phlegmmy, pus-like, chunky and moist fuckin' shit, this long stringy gross spider web dipped in slime and vom, this fucking* Arsé-kun: *This curdled milk looking black ink mistake* Sheepy: Myrrdin: *he's biting his tongue. everything is pain! just don't scream and distract her!* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hrk...That's what it looks like...?! ...Ghhh! *he clenches his teeth* Arsé-kun: Vivian: Well, it wasn't supposed to be pleasant..!! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I-it��s...! Sheepy: Myrrdin: It's horrible! Th-that was in me...?! Arsé-kun: Vivian: Apparently..! It wasn't like this when I cast it, certainly..! Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Eh, me setting it off so regularly must've made it turn into that... Sheepy: Myrrdin:.... Arsé-kun: Vivian: .... If you're going to vomit, please do it away from me. Sheepy: Myrrdin:....I'll be back. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Wash yourself off. You've still got residue on you. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Right. Thanks. Sheepy: *Myrrdin leaves for a few minutes.* Arsé-kun: *Vivian manages to shove the angry goo into one of Myrrdin's empty supply jars in the meantime. Thankfully. Staining is minimal* Sheepy: *Myrrdin returns, still looking a little sick... and the marks are still on his chest* Arsé-kun: Vivian: I stole a jar. Sheepy: Myrrdin: You could even keep it if you want. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Considering it's got an angry ball of goo, I don't think you want it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I tried washing it off... Sheepy: Myrrdin: I've grown used to the tattoos but knowing that gunk is still inside me... Arsé-kun: Vivian: It is offputting. I certainly did not expect it to have become so... Like this. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...I guess I let it grow too much? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Perhaps? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, every time I look in the mirror I get to remember how that looked. Arsé-kun: Vivian: You're legally allowed to look at people and in trade, this. Sheepy: Myrrdin: This? Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... What are you still here for? Don't you have hot people to be staring at? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh? I already am, aren't I? Arsé-kun: Vivian: .... I really do not know what I expected. Arsé-kun: Vivian: .... Right, there was something else I needed to ask you about. Sheepy: Myrrdin: What is it? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I'll try to answer as best as I can. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Where and who is the man that attacked you? I have a gift for him and it's pain. Sheepy: Myrrdin: The man who stabbed me... Stefano Valentino. Missing an eye, tried to turn me into an art piece... They arrested him. He's in jail right now. Sheepy: Myrrdin: My memory of the whole thing is kinda foggy. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Would you like to watch him try to make art with no eyes? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh....? W-with you? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, I'd rather a movie, but this is fine too! Arsé-kun: Vivian: Don't push your luck that far. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh...Okay, I guess it's going a little too fast. Sheepy: Myrrdin: This time I'll show up! Arsé-kun: Vivian: If you don't, this jar is going under your pillow. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Ehhhh?! Scary!! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I will, I will! Sheepy: Myrrdin: And I can teach you about the wonders of instant messaging! Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Hmm, but do you have a phone? Or a computer? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Now, look at my clothes, look at my lake in the middle of nowhere- Where would I put a computer?? Sheepy: Myrrdin:......*he's thinking* ... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Your car? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Fair. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I use instant messaging a lot. Arsé-kun: *the angry goo is angry in a jar* Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Is it supposed to look mad? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Doed it even have feelings? Arsé-kun: Vivian: It shouldn't. It was only a curse. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hmm... Sheepy: Myrrdin: It's so angry looking. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Do I really have to keep it...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: I'd be mad too if my purpose suddenly became useless. Also, yes. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But... Sheepy: Myrrdin: What if it goes back in me in my sleep? Sheepy: Myrrdin: What if it comes after me...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Well, then you take it back off like a reused sticker. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Does it eat food? Do I need to feed it...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: I... I genuinely do not know. I've never let a curse live this long. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...... Arsé-kun: Vivian: The other two weren't physical. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Uh...so this is a mystery we have to figure out together. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I would prefer not to. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But... Sheepy: Myrrdin: You're making me take care of it. Arsé-kun: Vivian: You... I realized how awful this is in hindsight. It's like raising a child without the father. *she sighs, heavily* Fine, I'll help you, but we are not dating. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Ouch... I guess I haven't dealt with my flaws yet, so I haven't become someone you'd want to date. *he's mulling this over* Sheepy: Myrrdin: But leaving the house alone... makes me worry I'll be attacked and unable to defend myself...Hmm... Sheepy: Myrrdin: I'll work hard all the same...! Sheepy: Myrrdin: But that did happen the second I got comfortable, didn't it. Arsé-kun: Vivian: It certainly sounds like it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So getting comfortable isn't safe... Sheepy: Myrrdin:....... Arsé-kun: Vivian: You're an idiot. You have fists. Use them. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...? Sheepy: Myrrdin: And potentially injure them...? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I can't risk something like that. Arsé-kun: *Vivian looks frustrated* Sheepy: Myrrdin: I would've just defended myself normally but I was so burnt out magic wise and didn't bring my staff. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I usually just flash a bright light and run. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But...using my fists? What if I hurt my hands? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Then heal them. Moron. Sheepy: Myrrdin: *he's mulling this over* Sheepy: Myrrdin: I'd rather just not go out alone. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Take the Cath Palug. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But Fou doesn't always want to go. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Take your new son. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Oh...Hmm... I guess it'll get lonely now that it doesn't have me to try to kill at every waking moment. Sheepy: Myrrdin: You're right, I guess. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But you'll have to pitch in sometimes too. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Certainly, but do not simply dump them on me from nowhere and then take off to bang several other people. Sheepy: Myrrdin: No, I wouldn't do that! Arsé-kun: Vivian: Ah, true. You would need to go outside first. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...! N-no...I... I do...! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I've been working really hard...But...I...*he grimaces* When I start getting comfortable, things happen. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Things aren't going to stop happening just because one man is uncomfy. Sheepy: Myrrdin: That's not what I meant. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Now, that isn't fair to say when we do not know if the overgrown curse was to blame for that as well. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So what do you suggest? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I've tried all I can other than damaging others. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Get a guard dog. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Dog... Arsé-kun: Vivian: Most people hone in on the dog. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Sir Lancelot does seem safe and trustworthy... Arsé-kun: *Myrrdin is now in danger* Sheepy: Myrrdin:...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Do not make me regret helping you. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh... Sheepy: Myrrdin: I kinda assumed you already did because it's me and somehow I manage to unknowingly make everyone mad. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But... If you're going to regret removing it, just put it back. Arsé-kun: Vivian: And watch you die? From something stupid? Sheepy: Myrrdin: It's not as though you'd be around for it. Arsé-kun: *Vivian starts to say something but is interrupted by a door downstairs SLAMMING open and Merlin yelling "What's up, fuckers?!"* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Oh, it must be Merlin. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I guess I should go check on what he needs. Arsé-kun: Vivian: A reminder to keep it down is what. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...? It doesn't bother me. Sheepy: Myrrdin: What were you saying before he barged in? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Forget it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Did I tick you off? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Arsé-kun: Vivian: You're still extraordinarily dense. I'll leave it at that. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I don't understand. Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... I am teasing you. You still can't tell? Sheepy: Myrrdin: No, not really. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Why would I want to chase down someone that harmed you, and then proceed to suggest you get injured? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Uh...Because you personally want vengeance? Arsé-kun: Vivian: I've gotten more than plenty from you. Don't worry so much. Sheepy: Myrrdin:?! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I assumed you hated me unto this day. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Did I not state that the curse did far more to you than I'd intended? Sheepy: Myrrdin: It doesn't change the fact that me standing you up so many times wasn't right and that I still haven't improved despite saying I would. Arsé-kun: Vivian: The latter of which is by all means my own fault. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...So you don't hate me? Arsé-kun: Vivian: No, I don't hate you. Still not dating you, but I do not hate you Sheepy: Myrrdin: Of course not. I haven’t improved myself enough for that. I couldn’t bring myself to date you even if you wanted to. Not in my current state. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Well, if I wanted to, you wouldn't get much of a choice. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hmmm... Scary. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Thank you. I really try. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Do you... You don’t need to. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I like to. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I see that... Arsé-kun: Vivian: But enough talk. Lets take care of your brother. The actually cursed one. Take your son with you. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Right. Arsé-kun: *Vivian goes downstairs. Merlin sees her and screams* Sheepy: *Myrrdin follows* Arsé-kun: Merlin: WHY IS SHE HERE?! MYRRDIN!! WHY???? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Merlin, don’t be so loud. Look at my jar. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... That gives me massively bad vibes. Sheepy: Myrrdin: It’s my curse. Sheepy: Myrrdin: That’s great, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ?! *looks at Myrrdin's tattoos, back to the jar, back to Myrrdin, back t* Sheepy: Myrrdin: It left a stain. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Be glad you didn't see it outside of the jar. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'll pass! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Wow! Sheepy: Myrrdin: We’re keeping him. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We already have Fou! Do we need two curses?? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yes. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I don’t think he and Fou will get along though. Arsé-kun: *Fou sniffs the jar, and then recoils with the lemon-cat face* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Exactly. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And what the hell do you mean "He"? Curses aren't sentient! Sheepy: Myrrdin: This one is. Sheepy: Myrrdin: It grew powerful enough to gain sentience. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So you want to keep... A living, sentient curse? That literally made your life hell? Why??? Arsé-kun: *merlin looks genuinely confused* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Uh... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, if it's sentient, I made it that way. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's not a child! Sheepy: Myrrdin: But if it were, it'd be Vivian's and mine. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Ah. I get it. It's like you were man-pregnant. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Now that you've said that, we'll get ads for mpreg comics with how ads seem to be picked up from conversations. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What, are those not fucking hilarious??? They're so bad. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Does anyone actually click on them? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe for the irony. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Anyway, objects that stay around long enough become sentient, right? I'd guess it's the same deal here. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Look, man, I'm into some weird shit, but that takes the cake. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So you won't help Arsé-kun: Merlin: Do I look like I know how to children? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I don't know how to either. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Did Bedi get home yet? He adopted kids way back when, he should know. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... If he remembers it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I wouldn't know. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I've been upstairs with Vivian for a to while now. Arsé-kun: *Vivian does not input. She appears from behind the bar counter, takes a bottle of wine, and raises an eyebrow* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh? Oh?? And what were you doing? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Talking. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah? And what else? ;) Sheepy: Myrrdin: She removed the curse from me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Damn, that's it? Sheepy: Myrrdin: She removed the curse from me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Damn, that's it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Y'all didn't bang? You d-- Arsé-kun: *Vivian slams her fist over Merlin's head, flooring him instantly. He's okay, thankfully* Arsé-kun: Vivian: Please do not forget that I still despise you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: F-fair enough..! Ow, ow... Arsé-kun: Vivian: Now then. All three curses have been removed, I had to touch That *she gestures to the jar*, and I need to find my actual son. I have things to do, unlike you two, so I'll be taking my leave. Good luck with that. *and she leaves* Arsé-kun: *there's a few moments of silence, and then..* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, wait, we can all go out for food together now! We can go see Arthur with Meril! We could steal someone's car! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah, we can. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Now we’ll need to list working hours.. Sheepy: Myrrdin: And take actual payment. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Shoot, you're right. It's not like he'll be home for the next century. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Gosh, but what’ll we even charge...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Money?? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I could look it up?? Take suggestions from my fans? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, of course money. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Get a credit card scanner? Sheepy: Myrrdin: You need to be able to calculate all costs that go into making a drink such as labor, material, and other side costs and then calculate how much percentage profit you can reasonably make off of each drink. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... .... Five dollar. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Wow... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, but actually.... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Lets use this one for example. *he pats the closest bottle* This is, according to the label, about 13 dollars. It's 375 mL, but a cup is 237 mL. So it'd be like... Ten dollars for a cup of it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: And then five for whoever finishes it off. Profit. Arsé-kun: Merlin: They get to keep the bottle. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Huh. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah, that sounds about right I guess. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But it's not like many people see us to begin with! Sheepy: Bedi: If you wanted to get around a 50% profit for it, you could charge $12 for the cup and $7 for the remaining portion. Sheepy: Bedi: But is that reasonable? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Two dollars more... Yeah, that sounds right! Good work, babe! Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. Arsé-kun: *Merlin pauses to process complex abstractions* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hold on a moment. Bedi, babe, hon, you went out with Lancelot earlier, but Vivian was looking for him. And since she was dealing with the curses, does that mean she dealt with yours...? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: !! Sheepy: Bedi: I took a shower to deal with the brain fog that came from her removal of the curse. Sheepy: Bedi: Unfortunately, my brain is still a little...hazy. I think with a good night's sleep the fog should fade. For now, however... Sheepy: *There's a yelp from Meril in the background.* Sheepy: Bedi:...We have no hot water. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Ah. Of course. Sheepy: Bedi: However, it felt very nice while it lasted. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We need a better heater... Maybe a modern radiator too.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But goods and services cost money! Sheepy: Myrrdin: We need to charge for our services so we can earn money. Arsé-kun: Merlin: These bar services, you mean. We need people to come in to get money. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But how...? Through advertising? Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's where the problem with the tree being fuckin' invisible comes in!!! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hmmm... Sheepy: Myrrdin: This really is tough. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Can we just convince the regulars to bring more people?? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Good idea! Sheepy: Bedi: The lawyer knows many people due to being a lawyer, so perhaps he could help.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're right, but that doesn't settle the whole "Most people cannot see the tree unless it is introduced to them". Do we make a youtube video? Will that work? Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe... Sheepy: Bedi: But can it be caught on camera? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Never actually tried! Sheepy: Myrrdin: What if we put a sign on it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Let's try it later. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, speaking of... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, we were just talking about you! Come on in! Arsé-kun: *Barok enters the bar, looking relatively exhausted. He brought a friend!* Arsé-kun: Barok: ... Make me regret being alive and I'll let it slide. Sheepy: ?: It's hidden very welll... it is. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah, we can do that. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Oh, you brought someone else! Sheepy: Myrrdin: We were just considering asking you to do exactly that! Sheepy: Rikao: ...My name is Rikao... it is. I'm a defense attorney... yes. *he shyly looks away* My... my, uh, friend brought me. ...Friend... yes. Sheepy: Bedi: I will get Meril. One moment. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're lucky today. We haven't figured out actual monetary prices yet, so our payment is the same as you've likely been told already. Sheepy: Rikao: Payment... It is necessary for me to pay you somehow... it is. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, we'll take either stories or whatever money you wanna pay. Doesn't really matter! Sheepy: Rikao: Scamming people is wrong... Yes. So I must pay you with money. My life is not that interesting... it's not. Arsé-kun: Barok: Oh? So I'm going to be the one sharing what set you off this week in court? Sheepy: Rikao: Yes. Arsé-kun: Barok: Good, because I intended to anyway. Sheepy: Rikao: Really? Arsé-kun: Barok: Yes. I cannot believe you of all people fell for updog. Sheepy: Rikao: I have never heard of updog... Sheepy: Rikao: I assumed it to be a very tall dog...Yes. You look up and there is a dog... it is. Arsé-kun: Barok: .... *he picks up the tiny Rikao and puts him on a seat. he's so Small.* How are you going to reach your drink like this? Sheepy: Rikao: I go to bars often for performances. It is easier to "vibe" in this form... it is. Jalope taught me of this word. Sheepy: Rikao: He likes to say, "Rikao-chin is vibing, wei wei, ciao ciao," and such... Yes. Sheepy: Rikao: However, if it's not socially accepted, I'll follow your suggestion... Yes. *poof! He's a lot taller and much more human now!* Sheepy: Meril: Oh, customers... so early? *he looks cold* Arsé-kun: Barok: Afternoon. Could you kindly end my life? Sheepy: Rikao: Such a thing is usually illegal... Arsé-kun: Barok: Not like that. Sheepy: Meril: Oh, the usual? No problem. Sheepy: Rikao: ...? Sheepy: Rikao: He doesn't plan to poison you... Very good. ...Yes. Arsé-kun: Barok: I can poison myself just fine, thank you. Sheepy: Rikao: Hmm... It doesn't take much skill to accomplish that... It doesn't. Sheepy: Meril: What would you like, ehhh... Sheepy: Rikao: Rikao. Defense attorney. Singer. Bassist. Sheepy: Myrrdin: That's a unique last name. Arsé-kun: Barok: It isn't. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maaaaan, Meril, you have GOT to get outside! *he knows what he said.* Sheepy: Rikao: Rikao. Defense attorney. Singer. Bassist. Sheepy: Meril: That's a unique last name. Arsé-kun: Barok: It isn't. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maaaaan, Meril, you have GOT to get outside! *he knows what he said.* Sheepy: Meril: So many people have the last name "bassist"? Sheepy: Rikao:...! Sheepy: Meril: My curse has been removed so I can go out whenever I want now. Sheepy: Rikao: Eheheh... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Hold on, Mer. Hold on. Arsé-kun: Barok: oh no Sheepy: Rikao: Ahahaha! *he's begun cackling and wheezing* "Bassist" is no last name...! Ahahaha! It's one of my- eheheh- occupations! Ahahaha! Arsé-kun: Barok: .... This, in court. So help me God. Sheepy: Meril: Oh, so that's why you need a drink. Arsé-kun: Barok: I don't mind it outside of court. But in court... Sheepy: Meril: How do you get through cases? Do you win by making him laugh too much so he can't continue? Arsé-kun: Barok: I try not to resort to that. It feels like cheating. Sheepy: Meril: Hmm... Hmm... Courts are confusing to me... Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he's got Fou in his hands like a toy and standing on his back feet* *squeaky voice* I'm Bassist, I do-a the dance moves! *he wiggles Fou's arms. Fou looks ready to commit a homicide* Sheepy: Meril: The goal is to win, but the goal is to figure out if the defendant is guilty...But the wrong side could win... Sheepy: *Rikao has begun cry-laughing at Merlin* Arsé-kun: Barok: There's a reason it takes so long to become a lawyer. Arsé-kun: *MERLIN STONKS* Sheepy: Meril: If you're a lawyer for long enough, can you immediately determine guilt? Almost like reading their mind? Arsé-kun: Barok: I wish. Sheepy: Meril: You can't? Arsé-kun: Barok: If that point exists, I haven't reached it yet. Sheepy: Meril: Hmm...So maybe there's an legendary lawyer out there who's been practicing law for so long that they can read minds. Arsé-kun: *Barok considers this* Sheepy: Meril: I wonder where they'd be. Arsé-kun: Barok: On paid leave from court, probably. Sheepy: Rikao: Eheh... ... ... *sharp inhale* ... Legendary lawyer? No, there's nothing like that... Is there? Arsé-kun: Barok: I certainly hope not. Sheepy: Rikao: Reading minds would not be something I'd want... Sheepy: Meril: Right, your drink. What did you want? Sheepy: Rikao:......... *mumbling* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Anyone else get a "no" vibe? Just me? Sheepy: Meril: Eh? He said no drink? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Just the vibe of a "no", but not an actual no... Sheepy: Rikao: *he looks away shyly before repeating himself, slightly more coherently* Arsé-kun: Barok: *ahem* The court will end your statement for you if you do not speak up. Sheepy: Rikao:....! Sheepy: Rikao:...Do you sell milkshakes? Uraragi does...is it a normal bar drink? Sheepy: Meril: Yeah, sure. Sheepy: Meril: So you want a milkshake. Sure, I can do that. Sheepy: *Something loudly crashes outside!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Theeeere it is. Keep the milk out, we're gonna need it. Sheepy: *Bedi gets the door* Sheepy: Bedi: Um...You don't look like a bird. Arsé-kun: Killia: I hope not. A loud angel crashed into your tree. Sheepy: Bedi: Loud...angel? Arsé-kun: *Barok groans in the background. Can't go ten goddamn minutes without Crow, apparently* Sheepy: Bedi: Do you have ID? Sheepy: Crow: Eye-dee? Arsé-kun: Barok: Excuse my nephew. He's, how do I politely say... *he makes a face of frustration* Sheepy: Meril: So he's with you? Arsé-kun: Barok: I wish he weren't, but I'll take the responsibility of anything he does. Sheepy: Meril: Oh, that's fine. He can come in then. Sheepy: Crow: *gasp*...! I've solved the mystery of where Uncle goes after work! Man, I'm a genius. Sheepy: Crow: Just call me an ace detective! Ahahaha! Sheepy: Christo: Most detectives don't smack their face into things... Arsé-kun: Barok: .... ..... Please let me have some peace in my life. Sheepy: Crow: Peace? Sheepy: Crow: Am I not peaceful? Arsé-kun: Barok: You are... So loud. Sheepy: Crow: Is loud bad? Sheepy: Rikao: *he's looking Crow over* Sheepy: Crow: Loud works when you wanna scream the truths of life at the top of your lungs! Sheepy: Crow: How can you show your crimson passion without raising your voice? Sheepy: Rikao: Oh, that's it. SomethingCrimson. Crowley. I have heard your songs before...I have. Sheepy: Crow: It's CROW!! And "ShinganCrimsonZ"!! We'll be the biggest band and spread our crimson passion! But since you've heard our songs, you must be one of my cattle, so I'll let it pass! Heh! Sheepy: Rikao: No... I am an African wild dog. Sheepy: Rikao: I don't look bull-like... I don't. Sheepy: Crow: It means you liked them! And you like me! Sheepy: Rikao: No, that's not true. Sheepy: Crow: Eeehh?! Uncle...! How could he not like me? Arsé-kun: Barok: Perhaps because he doesn't actually know you. Maybe because you're yelling indoors. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: But this is my indoor voice...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sorry, Barok, but it's permitted! We can be louder if it makes you unhappy! ;) I aim to serve! Sheepy: Crow: Finally! Someone reasonable! Arsé-kun: Barok: Fine, but not so loud that you shatter glass. Sheepy: Rikao: Shouting and yelling is bad for your voice. Make sure you do vocal warm ups, too. ...Yes. Sheepy: Crow: I've never shattered glass by being loud before! Sheepy: Crow: Is that even possible? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It is! But it isn't easy, and has a bunch of required circumstances! Arsé-kun: *Fou covers his widdle ears with his paws. Aww. Lookit the bayyybeeeeee* Sheepy: Rikao: ...? Sheepy: Rikao: It's upset...it is. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Shit, me too, he's not special. Sheepy: Rikao: He's like Jalope... he is. Sheepy: Crow: But...What is this place? Why do I need ID? Sheepy: Crow: But this is a bar, right? So if I pass it, I'll become a lawyer? Arsé-kun: Barok: ... That's the bar exam. They ask for ID so no children come in to drink booze. Sheepy: Crow: Booze... Sheepy: Crow: Booze....Hmm... Hmm... Like a drink ghosts have. Arsé-kun: *Barok starts to reply and just stops. He just gives up.* Sheepy: Crow: But if it were milk based, it'd be "mooze". Arsé-kun: Merlin: *snnnnrk* Well, have I got moos for you. *he slides a glass of milk to Crow* Merry January or whatever. Sheepy: Crow:!!! What? For me? I can tell you're one of my cattle just by that! Sheepy: Rikao: He's not a bull either. Sheepy: Crow: Anyone who likes my songs is one of my cattle! And anyone who listens to my songs likes them! Sheepy: Crow: That's one of the truths of life! Heh! Bet you didn't know that! Arsé-kun: Merlin: If you wanna be more accurate, it's the people who listen TWICE that like it. Gives 'em time to realize they do like it. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Really? Sheepy: Crow:...Huh! Sheepy: Crow: I'd never thought of that... Sheepy: Crow: Okay, then listen to my songs again! Sheepy: Crow: But for now...Why're you hanging out at bars? Arsé-kun: Barok: Why not? Sheepy: Crow: I expected you to have a different pass time... Arsé-kun: Barok: Passtimes are for when I haven't just finished work. Sheepy: Crow: ...? Sheepy: Crow: So you drink after work, huh... Sheepy: Crow: That's not really what I expected... Arsé-kun: Barok: What I do exactly is not your business. It is called a "personal" life for a reason. Sheepy: Crow:...? Sheepy: Crow:........ *he's mulling this over* Sheepy: Crow: Huh. Sheepy: Crow: But you don't spend much time with me, so how else will I spend time with you? Arsé-kun: Barok: I'm busy. Am I supposed to quit? Sheepy: Crow: No. Sheepy: Crow: But I was just thinking that sometime when you're less busy, we should spend more time together. Sheepy: Meril: Right, here are your drinks. *he gives Barok and Rikao drinks* Arsé-kun: Barok: Appreciated. Arsé-kun: *Barok isn't clear on who he was speaking to...* Sheepy: Rikao: Thank you. Sheepy: Crow: Is your job really hard? You just go up and say things, right? But your stage is behind a desk. Arsé-kun: Barok: It wavers between determining someone's innocence or convicting them of a crime, with proper evidence. (yknow unlike yours) Sheepy: Crow: ? Hmmm... No, that doesn't seem right. Arsé-kun: Barok: It is not like your trial of... Whatever that was. Sheepy: Crow: Did you become a lawyer because of that? Arsé-kun: Barok: *ACE ATTORNEY PSYCHE LOCK.PNG* *ok actually he IS dangling a lock off his finger, but no chains or ace attorney music blaring* You'll no sooner get an answer to that than this piece of junk actually opening. Sheepy: Crow:? Arsé-kun: Barok: Either way, I was already interested in the subject before that event. Sheepy: Crow: But this bar doesn't seem that much like junk? Arsé-kun: Barok: .... The lock, Crow. Sheepy: Crow: Eh... If you just hit it on something it'll open. Arsé-kun: Barok: That has implications. Sheepy: Crow:? Arsé-kun: Barok: Will you hit me to make me open up? Sheepy: Crow: Why would I wanna see your insides? Arsé-kun: Barok: ....... *he kicks back his drink. discussion over* Sheepy: Crow: *thinking* Sheepy: *Rikao is focused on his drink* Sheepy: Crow:...Eh? Like, open up as in tell your thoughts? Arsé-kun: Barok: That's the one. Sheepy: Crow: But punching you would shut you up even more? And anyway, if we got into a fistfight, my crimson fists wouldn't be any match for you. Arsé-kun: Barok: Maybe, to both. Sheepy: Crow: Do I wanna risk it? Not really... Sheepy: Crow: If I punch you will I benefit from it? Arsé-kun: Barok: No. Sheepy: Crow: Then I guess I won't punch you. Sheepy: Rikao: Punching people when it benefits you is wrong too... It is. Sheepy: Christo: (So he would attack someone for his own benefit. I knew he was guilty.) Arsé-kun: Barok: Christo, you magnificent bastard, I can hear you. Sheepy: Christo:...?! Sheepy: Christo: Ahaha... Don't mind me. I'm just thinking to myself. Arsé-kun: Barok: If you'd like to make a court case out of it, I'd be more than happy to take the opposite side of the room for once. Sheepy: Christo:....... Sheepy: Christo: I don't have any interest in whether he's guilty or innocent. Just my own innocence. Arsé-kun: Barok: ... You two are the same brand of having no subtly. Arsé-kun: *but he is now Interested* Sheepy: Christo: Please don't compare me to him. Sheepy: Christo: That's how they decided I was the one who manipulated him into doing it. Because we'd met before and I could apparently mesh well enough with him to accomplish that. Sheepy: Christo: Now I'm in this mess. Really, it would've been easier on me if you'd seemed brighter and not like someone who'd need to be told to commit political crimes. Sheepy: Crow:? I don't even know the guy who got attacked... Arsé-kun: Barok: And you two don't get along. Who held that trial? I'll have a word. Sheepy: Christo: It's too late for such things. I'll need to prove my own innocence. Arsé-kun: Barok: Okay. Hey, did you do it? Sheepy: Christo: Of course not! I don't benefit from the crime! Arsé-kun: Barok: Then my work here is done. You're innocent. Sheepy: Christo: What? Humans lie and say that all the time. Arsé-kun: Barok: ... Listen, I came here to drink and sit here in almost silence. We can speak about this matter later. Sheepy: Christo:...I can't see what you can do for me, but where? Sheepy: Christo: Your home? My home? A common meeting place...? Arsé-kun: Barok: I'd rather go to you, but I'm not about to think that through. Sheepy: Christo: Yes, well, I live with the Seraph. Arsé-kun: Barok: ... Arsé-kun: Barok: ........ Arsé-kun: Barok: ...... How the hell did they kick you out at that rate?? Sheepy: Christo: They hated me and I hated them. Arsé-kun: Barok: And the Seraph just let them? Sheepy: Christo: Yes, I suppose so. Sheepy: Christo: But he isn't at fault. Sheepy: Christo: Of course the idiots who blindly rushed to conclusions are at fault. Sheepy: Christo: That's why I think you can't do anything. Arsé-kun: Barok: Maybe. Maybe not. Sheepy: Christo: However, if I prove someone else fully guilty, they can't blame me. Sheepy: Crow: They can blame you for any crime they want if they don't like you being around. Arsé-kun: Barok: On the other hand, if Crow is innocent of intentional assault, then you'd be acquitted as well. Sheepy: Christo: But then who is guilty if not him? The Seraph has me spending time with him often to help him learn to control his abilities. He's nearly injured me a few times from getting too fired up.. Sheepy: Crow: You keep rushing me and it makes me nervous! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Some people just cant perform under pressure. It's just like that sometimes. Sheepy: Christo: But in that case, why am I the one tasked with this...? I'm the least suited for this. Sheepy: Christo: Anyone here would be better suited at it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hey, I don't think that's true. I've heard I'm scary as a teacher. Arsé-kun: Barok: Maybe it'd teach you patience. Sheepy: Christo:...... Sheepy: Christo: So that's why he's stuck me with this job... Sheepy: Christo: Isn't this your job...? Arsé-kun: Barok: No? I'm a prosecutor. When would I have time for this? Sheepy: Christo: Then what about his dad? This shouldn't be my job. Arsé-kun: Barok: He's a disaster. Sheepy: Christo:....? Arsé-kun: Barok: Crow got it from his father's side. Sheepy: Christo:.... Sheepy: Christo:...You jest, of course! Ahahaha! Arsé-kun: Barok: I fucking wish. Sheepy: Christo:....This really is an unsolvable problem. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Git gud Sheepy: Christo: Unfortunately, despite my efforts, he doesn't. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wow, that sucks Sheepy: Christo: Yes. Sheepy: Crow: I'll show how cool I really am one day! Sheepy: *Rikao has been tuning out this whole conversation. Talent* Arsé-kun: *Fou wants to dead* Sheepy: Crow: And then you'll have to like me! Heh! Genius plan! Arsé-kun: Barok: Please stop speaking. Sheepy: Crow: ? Sheepy: Crow: Oh, I guess I don't have to show you because you already like me. Sheepy: Crow: You'd already know how cool I am 'cause of how long you've known me! Which is ever since I can remember! Sheepy: Crow: Although, speaking of that, it hasn't worked as well as before the fall.... Sheepy: Crow: I wonder why... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Do you want an answer to that? I could guesstimate one. Sheepy: Crow: Sure. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, all right! Just make sure to stop me if I lose you! Sheepy: Crow: Right! Arsé-kun: *He goes off to the side and pulls down a whiteboard. It was getting very dusty. It has not been used in at least a month. Fou sneezes. And then he leaves to dig out a goddamn 2003 school projector. We're about to do a L E A R N* Sheepy: Crow: Wow, what is that? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Old school tech, before every classroom had shiny projectors and computers! Sheepy: Crow: Huh...! Arsé-kun: *Merlin doodles a little cloud and a little hill, busts out a calculator, and then starts being a goddamn nerd* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, for starters, you fell from about... ten thousand feet up? So- Arsé-kun: Barok: fourteen hundred, idiot Sheepy: Crow: Some big number like that! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, is that it? That changes things. *a few more calculations* Even better. Okay, so you well from about 14k to ground zero. Without intentional streamlining or parachute, people drop at about... 180 miles an hour? So you'd have fallen for about a minute. So you absolutely hit terminal velocity, and as a general rule? Hitting something at that speed fuckin' hurts. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hit your head at that speed? You're lucky you're here with us. No wonder you'd get brain damage. Sheepy: Crow: Huh.... Sheepy: Crow: That fits in with what I know. Sheepy: Crow: I don't remember too much after the fall other than not really being able to do much for a while. It hurt too much. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he pushes the sheet off the projector. whoosh. don't need that anymore* Yeah, makes sense. I'm no angel, but I've done my fair share of dumb shit. Sheepy: Crow: You did it too? Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin... Sheepy: Bedi: Parachutes exist for a reason. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, I didn't mean that! You always skydive with a parachute! Sheepy: Bedi:...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: :) Sheepy: Bedi: *he's smiling, but it's clearly not genuine. Scary* What did you do? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I went skydiving once without saying that's what I was doing. I used a parachute! I promise! Sheepy: Bedi: I see... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, Meril, you wanna experience terminal fucking velocity?? Sheepy: Meril: No, not particularly. How do you do it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Get on a plane. Wait for the right altitude. Jump off the plane and belly flop into the sky. Profit. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... ... what Sheepy: Meril: Plane? Sheepy: Meril: The metal bird? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The metal bird! Sheepy: Bedi: It has people inside. Sheepy: Meril: It...eats people Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's a car! For the sky! Sheepy: Meril: !!!! Sheepy: Meril: But what about the ground? Sheepy: Bedi: Well, if you put Fou upside down on your back, you’ll never hit the ground. Sheepy: Meril: ...? Sheepy: Bedi: Cats always land on their feet, so you’d just keep ascending upwards. Sheepy: Meril: That... Isn’t... Arsé-kun: Fou: *flops onto his side. bedi is wrong and should feel bad* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, Fou, you agree? Arsé-kun: Fou: No Sheepy: Bedi: Hmmm.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Cats do it because they have good reaction times and flexible twisty spines, unlike people, we aren't lucky like cats Sheepy: Bedi: ........!? Sheepy: Bedi: How do they not break their legs? Sheepy: Bedi: Is it pure talent? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Shock ab--- I'll make it easy for us. Flexy spine absorb impact better than stiff human spine. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm.......Stiff... Sheepy: Bedi: ............So if I do stretches enough, I'll be able to do it too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: hun you are the stiffest man alive sometimes. You know what I mean and not the haha funny way. Sheepy: Bedi: ......Yes, not personality wise, but..... Sheepy: Myrrdin: No, personality too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And speaking of, how DID the-- Myrr, shut up! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hahaha... I'm not wrong, though. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes? Arsé-kun: Merlin: How'd the sparring go? Sheepy: Bedi: Tiring but important practice. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, but... Sheepy: Bedi: I have a habit of getting very "into it". That's the phrase, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It is! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, so please be careful if we spar. Sheepy: Bedi: However... I should start stretching as you mentioned... But I never remember to do it. Arsé-kun: *Fou gets up and does a big kitty stretch before going to investigate Christo* Sheepy: Christo: ...? *he bends down* It's a cat. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou! Sheepy: Christo: But not like I've seen before. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's a water cat. He came from the water and he can stay there. Sheepy: Christo: Water....cat? Sheepy: Bedi: A cat that lives in water. Arsé-kun: *Merlin smirks but keeps his filthy mouth shut* Sheepy: Christo: Then why the fur rather than something more...underwater-y? Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's still a cat. Sheepy: Bedi: Because he's furry. Sheepy: Crow: I've been called a furry too! Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin has told me about furries. Apparently they hold forbidden conventions. Sheepy: Crow: At the pet store? I've talked to some hedgehogs there but they just ignore me. Arsé-kun: Lance: *what the hell is happening in this thread* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Babe, there is a REASON I don't tell you things about it! Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm... If even you find it to be... unspeakable, well, it must be terrible. Arsé-kun: Merlin: There is currently a kid present so I REALLY can't. Sheepy: Bedi:...? Sheepy: Crow: I'm no kid! I'm a hedgehog! Sheepy: Crow: Do I look like I eat cans to you...?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: What the hell are you talking about? Sheepy: Crow: Goats eat cans so kids do too, right? Sheepy: Bedi: I never ate cans as a child... Arsé-kun: Killia: what is this weasel on about? Sheepy: Crow: I'm a hedgehog! Arsé-kun: Killia: Same thing. Sheepy: Crow: No!!!!! Sheepy: Crow: They're completely different! Sheepy: Crow: I'm super cool and prickly! Weasels are just, uh... Sheepy: Crow: Anyway, kids are baby goats, aren't they? Sheepy: Bedi: This is how our conversations usually go here. Sheepy: Bedi: But I guess you've mostly been spared it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: You say that but you're almost always the source of it. Sheepy: Meril: *he seems more fixated on the door than anything* Sheepy: Bedi: I don't think that's true. Sheepy: Bedi: Usually I'm comprehensible, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Usually! It's only when you get into the deep logics that we totally lose you. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm.. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes...I suppose that makes sense... Arsé-kun: Merlin: It could be like explaining yachts to Mer-- *he pauses* Arsé-kun: *Meril has been replaced by a cloud of dust, and the door has been Thanos Snapped out of existence. Just the door. Not even the hinges* Sheepy: Bedi:?! Sheepy: Bedi: This is bad...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's wearing sandals. It's January. How far's he gonna get? Sheepy: Bedi: Do you plan to just let him go out without a watchful eye? He doesn't truly know any rules of the modern world... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, hey, I think he's learned enough to survive! He wasn't told all this stuff for funsies! Sheepy: Bedi: But...... Sheepy: Bedi: I feel nervous letting him go out alone. Sheepy: Bedi: But the longer we discuss it, the further away he gets. Arsé-kun: *Merlin just shrugs* Sheepy: Bedi: So shouldn't we go after him? Arsé-kun: Merlin: And leave just Myrrdin looking after a full shop? Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah! Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's to me, right?? That was to me? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I don't want to be left all alone! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You can go looking if you want, Bedi! But we gotta hang back. Sheepy: Bedi: I see. I'll do my best. Sheepy: *Bedi exits* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Bedi, come back and get a coat! Sheepy: Bedi: --Oh! Thank you! *he rushes back to get his coat before leaving, this time wearing a coat* Arsé-kun: *There really isn't a reason for there to be two wizards as working staff, it's not like anyone is doing anything* Arsé-kun: *The most that is actually happening is Fou getting more petting action. Pet! That! Cat!* Sheepy: Myrrdin: I wonder what I should name him... Sheepy: *Christo is enjoying petting Fou* Arsé-kun: *Fou appreciates it!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: We're really doing this? We're genuinely keeping a sentient curse? Sheepy: Myrrdin: It's my fault it's sentient. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I can't just run away from it and forget about it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, yeah, that's how you get a revenge-driven super wraith. Sheepy: Myrrdin: And anyway, it'd make me no better than, uh... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, I don't want to do anything I'll regret. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So, you're in, too? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeaaaah, count me in! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Great, thanks. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So what are we thinking? Something normal, something edgy? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I dunno. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Maybe it'll react differently to a name it likes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Does it have those?? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, it's sentient, so it must, right? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I mean, it'd have tastes simiilar to mine, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You'd think so, but Fou and I don't get along either. Sheepy: Myrrdin: True... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, we have to try, at least. Arsé-kun: Kay: Call it Bitch Tits and move on with your goddamn life! *he says as he barges in* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Is that how you usually name living things...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Look, I got all these new words to use! I'm gonna use them! Sheepy: Myrrdin: But for naming something? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Anyway, what did you need? Arsé-kun: Kay: What do you think I want? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Booze? Arsé-kun: Kay: Booze! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Sure, I can do that. Arsé-kun: Kay: You? Where's Antlers? Did he finally ditch this coop? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah, he left without a word and now Bedi's hunting him down. Arsé-kun: Kay: Explains why Bedi's stalking the streets. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Vivian showed up and removed our curses. Although, Bedi's still acting like a forgetful airhead, so maybe removing his curse didn't change much... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Right, you missed that whole ordeal, didn't you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Be nice to Bedi!! He isn't even here right now! Sheepy: Myrrdin: You'd rather I say it to his face...? Isn't it better to say it behind his back? Arsé-kun: Kay: booze Sheepy: Myrrdin: What booze do you want? I'm not an exoert on these things. Sheepy: Myrrdin: While I prep it I can tell you what happened. Arsé-kun: Kay: Surprise me. *he plops into a seat* And we're crowded today, huh? That's new as far as I know, which ain't shit. Sheepy: *Myrrdin starts preparing a drink* Sheepy: Myrrdin: We only get guests every so often. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But the good news is, Bedi got his memories back, if you heard about him losing them all the other day. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, yeah, but he was always an airhead. I don't expect much to change. Arsé-kun: *Merlin looks annoyed* Sheepy: Myrrdin: That's exactly what I thought. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If it'd hit the right target, we"d have caught it way sooner. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Fine, I'll give you that. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Because it's true. Sheepy: Myrrdin: All three of them are. It must run in the family. ...Although I'm pretty sure Grif isn't actually related... Arsé-kun: Merlin: We have no way to know that. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Know what? That it's genetic? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ye Sheepy: Myrrdin: I guess Tristan giving Lucan brain damage could be a contributing factor... Arsé-kun: Kay: Lucan has an excuse to be stupid. Bedi has some excuse but not much. Grif's dumb as shit. Arsé-kun: Kay: He's so stupid. I swear he was saying he was gonna fight the cars on the highway. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Should we be letting him do that? People are in those. Sheepy: Crow: Oh, I saw a few crashed cars along with a weirdo in green fighting Mr. Thanny. Sheepy: Crow: I didn't think much of it so I didn't ask. Arsé-kun: Merlin: wh. what Arsé-kun: Lance: I saw it also. I just let him do his business. Thankfully, no one in any of the vehicles was injured. Sheepy: Crow: Well, cars are usually the best weapon to fight Mr. Thanny with, right? Arsé-kun: Killia: Considering the man got out of a car to fight him, I want to say no. Sheepy: Crow: Mr. Thanny can drive... Arsé-kun: *Merlin, genuinely shocked at this turn of events,* Sheepy: Crow: But he can't be asked for insurance info because that doesn't cover lifting and throwing cars. Arsé-kun: Lance: It should. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah. Sheepy: Crow: But it doesn't. Arsé-kun: Kay: The hell's an insurance? Sheepy: Crow: Every month you pay for insurance that covers different aspects of your life just in case something happens to that aspect. Arsé-kun: Kay: That seems reasonable. Sheepy: Crow: Like if you have life insurance and die, they'll pay your significant other so they can be financially stable without a second source of income. Sheepy: Crow: Or if you have car insurance and you get in an accident, they'll help pay for your repairs...I think. But they raise the rates. Sometimes they pay the other person, too, if you're at fault, and sometimes their insurance pays you if they're at fault. Sheepy: Crow: Legally, you need car insurance to be able to drive, just in case! Sheepy: Crow: It's okay, I didn't know when I first fell either! But now you do! Sheepy: Crow: But you might find you have nightmares and a fear of heights that you didn't have before so just be careful about that. Arsé-kun: *Barok picked himself up to stare at Crow for a moment. Just a moment* Sheepy: Crow: Eh? What? Arsé-kun: Barok: Of all things you learned from me, it was that...? Sheepy: Crow: It's something I have to know. Sheepy: Crow: What, would you've preferred something else? Sheepy: Crow: Unless insulting a detective is a crime, I've committed zero crimes in my life. Arsé-kun: Barok: Property damage. Sheepy: Crow: That's not a crime. Sheepy: Crow: That's an accident. Sheepy: Crow: You've damaged property too, haven't you? Arsé-kun: Barok: ... You've gotten me there. Sheepy: Crow: So I'm crimeless. Arsé-kun: Barok: Well, yes, but actually no. Sheepy: Crow:?! Arsé-kun: Barok: For starters, your name is not Crimeless. It's Crocell. Sheepy: Crow: N-no!!! Sheepy: Crow: It's Crow! Which is way cooler! Sheepy: Crow: Crocell's such a nerdy name! Sheepy: Crow: Why do you get a cool name lile Barok when I sound like a nerd? Arsé-kun: Barok: Because your father's an idiot. Sheepy: Crow: If you drop the r, it's just "cow"... Sheepy: Crow: But Klimt isn't that cool of a name, either. Sheepy: Crow: If you drop the r, it's just "cow"... Sheepy: Crow: But Klimt isn't that cool of a name, either. Arsé-kun: Barok: Clearly I was named better because I AM better than him. Obviously. Sheepy: Crow: Well, you stuck with me. Dad didn't. I can't disagree. Sheepy: Crow: Having him around is great, but I actually don't know him well... Arsé-kun: Barok: *FINALLY!! SOMEONE AGREES! CONFETTI! PARTY CANNONS!* *nnnot that anyone can see that, he just kinda nods* Arsé-kun: Barok: That takes time. Sheepy: Crow: We don't interact much because I wake up at a reasonable time [5 AM] and he wakes up way later than you'd expect. Arsé-kun: Barok: 5 pm? Sheepy: Crow: Usually earlier. Sheepy: Crow: Like noon. Arsé-kun: Lance: Still better than his work schedule, I'll give you that... he then realizes he said that out loud and shuts fuck* Sheepy: Crow: Work schedule? Sheepy: Crow: He doesn't tell me about work. Arsé-kun: Lance: That's for the best. Sheepy: Crow: Why? Arsé-kun: Lance: It isn't fun to talk about. Sheepy: Crow: Ah, so he does bad things Arsé-kun: Lance: Did he not tell you..? Sheepy: Crow: I wouldn't remember if it wasn't more than once. Sheepy: Crow: My memory isn't very good so I mostly devote it to my job. Arsé-kun: Lance: He had a particularly bad job. He didn't enjoy it as far as I was aware. Sheepy: Crow: His dog did try mauling me though. Arsé-kun: Lance: That sounds about right. Sheepy: Crow: It's kinda rude. Sheepy: Crow: Hedgehogs are spiky so dogs won't eat them... Sheepy: Crow: Maybe I'm not spiky enough? Arsé-kun: Killia: You're about as spiky as a children's bouncy house. Sheepy: Crow: Are those spiky? Arsé-kun: Killia: No. Sheepy: Crow:?! Arsé-kun: Killia: It's for children. Why would it have spikes? Sheepy: Crow: Because children like spiky things. Sheepy: Crow: Like dinosaurs! Sheepy: Crow: But if you think about it, no child has met a dinosaur before, so how do they know they're cool? Sheepy: Crow: There's Myumon ones still around but not fossilsauruses. Arsé-kun: Killia: The same reason dragons are cool. They just are. Sheepy: Crow: If I met a dragon, I'd punch it to say I've punched a dragon. Arsé-kun: Killia: The dragon would most certainly end you. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I know a dragon you could punch, but he'd probably remove your hand and your arm from its socket before saying, "QUEST: Unarmed Combat COMPLETE"... Sheepy: Myrrdin: You could also punch his dad but he'd just ignore you. Arsé-kun: Kay: You kiddin'? He'd overshoot and knock yer ass out before takin' a leg to "scare" you. Arsé-kun: Lance: And he is still currently fighting a reaper outside. I hope they are still on the highway and not coming any closer. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If they break stuff, which do I sue? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hmm...Both would just end my life on the spot, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Grif. How the hell do we sue Death?? Grif would just get a minigame tutorial. Sheepy: Myrrdin: You think he'd cheese being sued? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Absolutely. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I can see it now! A full court room! And then Griflet enters, stiffly T-posing and crouching at the desk repeatedly. He glitches out of bounds and skips the event. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Spinning around in circles three times and sliding your foot up against the defendant stand will cause you to clip into the ground and be able to walk outside of the courtroom during session. Arsé-kun: Kay: Literally ain't got any idea what half those words mean! Sheepy: Myrrdin: We're considering Griflet escaping a courtroom by breaking the laws of physics to his advantage. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Physics don't work like this, but he might think they do! Sheepy: Rikao: An opponent incapable of being tried by law... Scary. ...it is. Arsé-kun: Barok: *he picks his head back up to re-enter the conversation* If he tries that shit in court, I blow him up on the spot and we never talk about it again. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But that would be initiating combat, right? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Can you run in court? Arsé-kun: Barok: You cannot run in court. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hmm...So he's locked in with you and you're locked in with him. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So it's a battle until one side can no longer fight, but if he thinks he'll lose he may just play dead. Arsé-kun: Barok: If he can beat his uncle, and his uncle can beat me, this would be a very unfavorable situation. Never mind. He can hack whatever wall he wants. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Wallhacks are allowed! He can escape the law! Arsé-kun: Merlin: But can he escape deeznuts? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Depends on his agility. Arsé-kun: ?: *outside, slightly muffled* ---And that WILL be your final warning. Do not make me appear again for something so downright idiotic. Do I make myself clear, dragon? Sheepy: Grif: No. You're opaque. Arsé-kun: ?: ... ... Get out of my sight. Sheepy: *Grif suddenly comes crashing through a wall, landing on a nearby table!* Arsé-kun: *Kay doesn't even bother turning around to look. He knows.* Sheepy: Grif: The enemy has fled. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sounds more like the enemy kicked yer ass. Sheepy: Grif: Hi, Kay. Death yelled at me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Whatt'd you do now, Chucklefuck? Sheepy: Grif: I helped an old woman cross the street. Sheepy: Grif: However, it seems he disagrees with my methods. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Did you toss the dame, or did you kill the road? Sheepy: Grif: I must protect old people. Sheepy: Grif: I realized that with no cars, old people won't be hit by cars. Sheepy: Grif: I realized that cars can't move without wheels on the road. Arsé-kun: Lance: Griflet, cars have human drivers. Sheepy: Grif: So, I came to the obvious solution of flipping every car on the road. Sheepy: Grif: Yes, but these cars were unattended. Arsé-kun: Barok: Property damage. Sheepy: Grif: They moved by themselves. Sheepy: Grif: No one on top riding them. Arsé-kun: Barok: ... Arsé-kun: Lance: ........ Arsé-kun: Lance: Griflet. People ride inside of it. Sheepy: Grif: But you don't ride inside of a horse. Arsé-kun: *Kay gets himself another drink* Sheepy: Grif: Why ride inside of a car? Arsé-kun: Lance: It's made to contain and protect passengers. You aren't as protected on horseback. Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm.... Sheepy: Grif: Well, I'm sure the drivers will figure something out. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Like suing you for assault and property damage? Arsé-kun: Lance: And by flipping cars, you probably injured someone at least once. Grea---Terrible job. Don't do it again. Sheepy: Grif: Is that why Death came to face me? Sheepy: Grif: Unfortunately, my level isn't high enough for this. Sheepy: Grif: But my uncle gives good EXP, so maybe I'll just camp him. Sheepy: Crow: You're the dragon, right?! So I can punch you?! Sheepy: Grif: ? Arsé-kun: Kay: Get the caskets ready. Sheepy: *Crow punches Grif. COUNTER! Speaking of which, that's what Grif punches Crow into.* Sheepy: Grif: [Counter skill leveled up!] Arsé-kun: *Several things fall off the counter, many of them glass. Cups mostly, but also at least one bottle and a jar* Sheepy: Myrrdin:?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: And we have to clean up glass, now, too?! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Shoot, the jar! Arsé-kun: *THE BLOB IS LOOSE! THE BLOB IS LOOSE! THE BLOB HAS A LOT OF GLASS SHARDS! THE BLOB IS LOOSE* Sheepy: Myrrdin: !!! Arsé-kun: *The curse blob proceeds to.... Beeline to Myrrdin and hide behind his leg.* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Ah, Griflet must've frightened it... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Now you've done it! Look, you scared a child now too! Horrible job, Grif! Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: I did it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, you dumb mother fucker, they're sayin you did a shit job. You did trash. Stop bein' an asshole for ten seconds. Sheepy: *Myrrdin bends down and gently picks up the curse blob. Hello!* Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: But there's a chance that when I get punched, I'll counter. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Into the counter, cool, but have you considered? Making sure what you're doing is a good idea? You flipping cars seems to have a 0% approval rate! Arsé-kun: *the curse is hold* Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: So don't flip cars. Arsé-kun: Lance: Only do so if absolutely necessary. Most drivers stop the car so you can safely cross. Sheepy: Grif: [TIP: Flipping cars is illegal. If you commit crimes, your friendship will drop with any witnesses.] Sheepy: Grif: I see. So don't flip cars. Sheepy: Grif: I'll avoid it in the future. Sheepy: *Crow's out cold...* Sheepy: Grif: But what if they don't stop their car? Arsé-kun: Lance: THEN you can flip it. Sheepy: Grif: I see. This information is useful. Sheepy: Grif: I didn't know. Arsé-kun: *Barok, looking about ten times more annoyed than he did when Crow arrived, begrudgingly gets out of his booth. Uh oh! Here comes the angel man* Sheepy: Grif: [A boss is approaching!] Sheepy: Grif: >Running is not an option! Arsé-kun: *Barok doesn't even give Grif a chance to have an opening turn. He just grabs Grif by the face, drags him to the door, and Blasts this man into orbit with what can be called a Holy Hyper Beam. Busting your wings out is worth it when you send a man into space* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Shoot, he's probably dead. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If he's not, I'd be surprised. Sheepy: Christo: (Right, I shouldn't aggravate him. I could be at the receiving end of that.) Arsé-kun: Barok: I really couldn't care less either way. *he goes to check on Crow* Sheepy: *Crow is still out. He's probably going to have some nasty bruises in the morning along with a lump on his head. Ouch* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Don't worry too much! Most wounds heal pretty quick in here! Sheepy: Christo: Even if it didn't, I could heal him. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That'd probably also be appreciated with the look I'm getting..! Sheepy: Christo: Do I have to...? Sheepy: Christo: This is the first peace and quiet I have had all day. Arsé-kun: Barok: It would be appreciated. Sheepy: Christo: Right... Sheepy: Christo: Right. I'll go ahead and do it. *he lifts his hands up, only to be startled by "You were returned to your previous autosave point!" appearing on a screen in front of him*) Sheepy: *Grif, too, appears, rubbing the back of his head.* Sheepy: Grif: ...I hit my head on the skybox. Arsé-kun: Barok: Good. Sheepy: Grif: No, it hurt a lot. heepy: Grif: Thankfully, according to many, I am hard headed along with empty headed so I cracked the skybox instead of my skull and nothing was inside to be damaged. Sheepy: Grif: If I'd cracked my skull thanks to you, I'd have cracked you in response. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, if you truly want me to see a tour of your home, don't try to throw me there. Sheepy: Grif: I'll come there myself without your help. Sheepy: Christo: How will you go to heaven yourself? Do you intend to climb there with a ladder? *he's very clearly being sarcastic* Sheepy: Grif: If you put a ladder on a ladder and continue this forever, you'll eventually reach heaven. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm going to have a stroke. Sheepy: Grif: What? Don't let Elyan hear that. If he hears you eat strokes, he'll fear you. Sheepy: Grif: I have eaten a few uncooked but they're hard to catch because they fly. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Y'know, I'm not really feelin' it anymore. You kids have fun, I need to not hear you speak. Sheepy: Grif: Where are you going? Sheepy: Myrrdin: You remind me of Bedi but less comprehensible... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I need to reintegrate myself into incubus society and figure out why my energy drains faster than a chromebook. Maybe find a nice place on the moon to live, learn where the best brothels are, maybe even figure out what the hell's wrong with me. That, or I'll head to the club down the street. I'll figure out which on the way. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hey, the best brothers are right here! You, me, and- eh, Meril isn't here for once... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I can't just drain you two! That's cruel and unusual! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I'd rather you didn't. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And anyway, you doofus, I said BROTHEL! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Great, now Grif's stupid has infected me. Sheepy: Grif: Don't lie. Sheepy: Grif: It's not communicable. Arsé-kun: *lancelot continues vibing with headphones on in the bg* Arsé-kun: Kay: It's not?? That's a shock. Sheepy: Grif: Why would it be? Sheepy: Grif: It's not as though you can read my mind. Arsé-kun: Kay: No, but you speak your mind, so we basically hear it anyway. Sheepy: Grif: Yes...that's true. Sheepy: Grif:..Right, I have a quest here. Arsé-kun: Lance: Myrrdin? Brace yourself. Sheepy: Myrrdin: What...? Sheepy rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 16 Sheepy: *Grif punches Myrrdin in the stomach! He drops to his knees, wheezing* Arsé-kun: [QUEST COMPLETED: You're Myrrdone for!] Sheepy: Grif: I did it. Arsé-kun: *grif gained some xp. yay.* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 18 Arsé-kun: *... About a moment later, the Curse Blob Child rears up and bashes Grif in the knee for his Crimes. You have Angered it* Sheepy: Grif: --!! Sheepy: Grif: Ghh...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Kick his ass, flubber. Sheepy: Grif: I see... This quest is more difficult than I thought... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Have y-you heard of solving things with words?! What did I do to deserve that?! Sheepy: Grif: Checking HP. *he opens up his stat screen* Arsé-kun: *He's still got most of his hp, he was just hit in the knee. Myrrdin is low, though, and something called "Angra" is at full health. etc, etc* Sheepy: Grif: A second enemy... Sheepy: Grif:...Or maybe just a neutral character? Arsé-kun: *Barok has used this situation to move crow and huddle up in his booth. Do Not Disturb* Sheepy: Grif: Right, I don't know what you did. Sheepy: Grif: Vivian gave me the quest. Arsé-kun: Lance: ...Did you not listen to what she said... Sheepy: Myrrdin: She definitely didn't! We just had a nice time talk-Ooowww...! Arsé-kun: Lance: She did give him that, but I don't think she intended this either. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Why...? Arsé-kun: *Lance shrugs* Arsé-kun: Kay: *turning to look over Grif's shoulder* the fuck's labelled Angry Sheepy: Grif: Angra........... Sheepy: Grif: The slime? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wow! I can't believe your UI spoiled that whole segment!

#NEVER POSTED THIS ONE BEFORE BREAK OOPSY #det. au #19

[harringtonstudios]

dusky pink.

plot: you’re called in for an emergency photoshoot, not really knowing what to expect, things can surprise you. part 2!

A/N: holy moly this is the most i’ve written! glad i got back in a mood. this is for the anon that asked about a model!au earlier, i hope you like it. 

taglist: @iamdorka​ @no-shxt-sherl​ @bakerkells​ @findingmyth​ @rosegoldrichie​

When you had gotten an emergency casting call from Galore Magazine, you hadn’t expected all this. YBeing an established model, you were  known for your unique photoshoots and uprising through runway walks. You had been in the industry for almost a full year now, feeling like a veteran when you were constantly being booked by different agencies. 

Galore Magazine was one of your first employers. They had allowed you to explore your creative side while posing for the camera, launching what the industry called your “brand.” You had developed a strong, personal relationship with the executive assistant of the magazine, and she would always offer you jobs when you felt like you needed something to do in order to keep busy. 

-

The phone call came in at 3am, disrupting a night out. You had immediately picked up, walking to the outside of a club after seeing her name flash on the screen. Within minutes, in a slightly tipsy haze, you had agreed to a two-day long shoot, confirming that you would be able to fly out in a few hours. 

The alcohol had settled into your bloodstream when you rushed to your apartment, throwing clothes into a duffel bag. The flight you were supposed to be on was scheduled to leave soon, and you knew that check-ins were going to be a bitch, so you grabbed a bagel from the 24/7 corner deli before setting off to get to the airport. 

It was only after you had settled into the airplane seat that you realized you weren’t exactly sure what you had said yes to. The alcohol from last night had drained out, leaving you with a pounding headache and you grimaced as the plane started lifting off. Pulling out your phone, you texted the editor of Galore, shamelessly asking what you had signed up for the night before. 

There were a few emojis exchanged and then finally, you got the creative plan for the shoot. It was supposed to be a Romeo-and-Juliet aesthetic, inspired by the 90s Leonardo DiCaprio version. You grinned, remembering how fully obsessed you were with that movie in your teenage years. The vibes had always seemed so beautiful, popping shadows and gold chains, it was something you were eager to emulate. 

As you read through the notes, you realized that they had a rapper coming in to play as Romeo. This threw you off, there was a certain way you modeled and when collaborating with others, you liked to be prepared beforehand. It wasn’t anything bad necessarily, you just liked to know your partners so that you could tweak your methods to their needs better. You took a breath before opening up Google to search up “Machine Gun Kelly.” 

There were a shit-ton of articles to sort through, mostly relating to his new album release, “bloom.” Scrolling through the different new posts, you bit your lip. He seemed nice enough,a few things catching your eye straight off the bat. The tattoos that lined his skin were amazing, creating a tinge of jealousy as you looked at all of them. Tattoos were your weakness, having about ten smaller ones yourself. This was going to be interesting.

-

Landing at the airport, you caught a Lyft straight to the set. Since this was an emergency fill-in, you didn’t have time to do much else, sighing as the Galore studio came into view. You loved being in California, the sun shining down on you, cobbled streets, lazing living and you really wanted to enjoy all of it. 

Right away, the front desk assistant shuffled you off to the hair and make-up room. The team had a very specific vision to execute and you smiled as their creation came to life. Putting on a natural, dewy look, you sat up straight, trying to make this process as easy as possible for everyone.

 Picking up tweezers, they aligned gems under your eyes, making the color pop. Lightly dusting some shimmery powder on your cheek, they moved on to your hair. Straightening it, they applied some sleeking oils before tying it back a little. All of a sudden, one of the top makeup executives came rushing in, holding a swatch of eyeshadow. 

“Put this on her! And make sure her lip color matches. Let’s go, hurry it up,” he clapped, throwing the palate to the artist working on you. You shut your eyes, letting fingers run over your eyelids. The color was a dusky pink and as you looked at yourself in the mirror, you felt good. 

Applying some Vaseline on your lips before the pink gloss, you pursed your mouth together, blowing a kiss at the mirror. Glancing up, you caught the eye of someone standing behind you. 

Turning around, you looked up to see none other than Machine Gun Kelly, leaning against the doorway. His makeup seemed to be already done, matching the glow of yours. His hair was done up, looking soft and sharp at the same time. There was a scar on his cheek, cut open and you saw the eyeshadow shade splotched around it, creating dusky pink on top of his cheekbone. He was smiling at you and you felt a blush start to rise on your cheeks. 

“Promise I’m not that cocky. Ever,” you muttered, trying to avoid his warm gaze. 

“Cockiness is sexy,” he laughed, leaning over to reach out a hand, “I’m Kells.”

“Y/N,” you responded, giving him a loose handshake. 

“Oh c’mon, I know you can shake harder than that,” he grinned, gripping the tips of your fingers in his hand. 

“I mean, I could. But why would I want to?” you responded cheekily. Raising his eyebrows, he smirked, dropping your hand. 

“HEY YOU TWO! GET INTO COSTUME,” the executive assistant shouted as she passed by. Walking behind you, she leaned in to whisper, “Looks like someone’s getting along,” before going on her way. Feeling the blush climb just a little higher, you got up off the chair. 

“Costumes that way,” you murmured, pointing down the hall as Kells followed behind you.

 “So, you know a lot about Galore?” he asked and you smiled thinking of all the memories you had in these very rooms. 

“Yeah, they gave me my first big break yanno? I’ve been eternally indebted to them since,” you explained, letting your fingers trail over the walls covered in autographs. 

“Wow, big ups to you. Most people forget where they come from, glad to see you sticking to your roots,” he spoke as you turned into the room. 

“Mhm,” you whispered, immediately getting distracted by the racks that hung around the room. Colors popped out from every corner, complementing the golden shades on your faces. Reaching out to touch one of the satin shirts, you felt Kells nudge your elbow from behind. 

“I don’t think we’re supposed to touch those,” he murmured, nodding to the sign that the costume designer had hung up. 

“They’re beautiful, I have to. Fuck the rules,” you muttered, picking up one of the hangers off the rack. 

He gave you a look before mumbling, “That’s what I like to hear,” and then both of you were grabbing hangers, pulling clothes off of the racks. 

“Where do we change?” he asked, hands bunching up the expensive silky shirts. You knew the changing stations were next door, but you didn’t want to really walk over. 

Looking up at Kells, you smirked before going, “Right here?”

“Oh? Don’t have to tell me twice,” he said, throwing the shirts on one of the chairs in the room. Reaching to pull over his white t-shirt, he laughed, seeing your gaze on his bare torso. 

“Sorry, I um, haven’t seen so many tattoos on somebody,” you stuttered out, hands itching to reach across and touch. 

“I think that’s what they all say,” he said, running his tongue against his teeth. 

“Shut up, get naked,” you scoffed, turning around to hide the red of your cheeks.

 Pulling off your top, you reached for the first shirt you had grabbed, a deep blue button down. It wasn’t meant for you, reaching down to the tops of your thighs as you closed one of the lower buttons. The shoot was going to be in lingerie anyway, and you knew Kells would see your body, so there wasn’t any reason to hide it right now. Turning around, you presented yourself, throwing up jazz hands. 

He guffawed, palms reaching up to cover his mouth. Widening your eyes, you leaned over, putting your hands on top of his. 

“Stop, are you trying to get caught?” you shushed him, looking at the door for the costume director to walk in at any minute. 

“I’m sorry, you just look great, I. I can’t even come up with words,” he snickered as you moved your hands back. 

Flipping him off, you took a step back, admiring his look. He was wearing a deep pink suit, jacket open to reveal all his tattoos, pants tailored to his exact body shape. Looking him up and down, you wet your lips, tongue reaching out involuntary. 

He opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly a shout came through the door. “What is going ON? Y/N you know better,” came rushing out of the mouth of the director. Snapping at you, she pointed over to a rack filled with satin lingerie. 

“Get the white one on now. Take this shit off,” she said, reaching for the blue shirt you’d done up. Huffing, you shrugged it off, before walking over to the clothes for you. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see her fussing over Colson’s fit, playing around with the buttons on his jacket. 

Shrugging off your sweatpants, you pulled on the white outfit. It fell to the bottom of your legs, slits done meticulously to show off your legs. The lace on it was beautiful, and you hesitated before stepping back around, suddenly getting a little bundle of nerves in your belly. 

“Perfect! Come here,” she muttered, reaching for something on the table. Picking up a set of angel wings, she turned you around, snapping them over your back. 

You saw Kells staring at you from his spot by the door, and the heat in his eyes was unmistakable. The bundle turned into a flutter and you swallowed, trying to calm yourself down. This was just going to be another shoot, nothing special. 

-

Oh how wrong you were. Right off the bat, the director asked you both to go across the street, in the mansion they had booked for the day. This was your first time exploring and you had quietly marveled in the grandeur of it all. There was a high wall, taller than you were, but coming to right around Colson’s chin. The director lifted you up, and then you were posing on top of the wall, bare legs soaking in the sun as Colson played with your hand, standing right below you.

For the first few shots, you looked out in the distance, trying not to catch his eyes. It had gotten intimidating to make eye contact, especially now that you were in the headspace of Juliet. After a couple of takes, you got pulled aside, softly told to “Act like you’re in love, dammit,” and then popped back up on the wall. 

Taking a breath, you steadied yourself as Colson put your palm in his, and made eye contact, softly smiling as he looked up at you. The pose felt like forever, eyes boring into each other, and then the director shouted, “Amazing! Ok next,” and you were being pulled down into the next area. 

-

A few solo photos later, they put you back on the wall. Colson stood in between your bare legs, leaning into you. His arms braced on either side of your hips. The close proximity made you nervous, and you let out a soft laugh as his hair brushed against your cheek.

“Shhh,” he whispered, barely moving his mouth. 

“You shhh,” you whispered back, leaning your shoulder against his.

 Instead of responding, he simply reached his hand over, putting it slightly over yours. Tapping his thumb against the back of your hand, he slowly moved it into a stroke and you pulled your legs together instinctively, forgetting he was in between them. 

You saw the smirk build in his face and you let out a breath, trying to not let him get to you. 

“What’s wrong,” he murmured, still moving his thumb agonizingly slow on your hand. Nudging him with your thigh, you tried to shut him up as the camera flashed. 

“Done. Okay, both of you. Take a break, go change. We need to get a few more shots in before the sun goes down,” the photographer shot out and you pushed Kells back a little, throwing him a grin before sauntering back to the studio. 

-

Switching into the green lingerie suit, you looked at yourself in the mirror. This one was a smaller one-piece and you glanced at your booty, making sure it looked good for the pictures. Pulling the suit up a little, you admired the way the lace cupped your boobs, perfectly covering your nipples. Picking up a towel from nearby, you wrapped it around before crossing back over to the mansion. 

Kells was standing there in the blue shirt from earlier, and you let out a laugh, seeing the perfect way it hung off of him. You reached up, adjusting his collar, smiling as you saw him gulp. 

“I think you look better in this,” you murmured, fingers delicately running right over his neck. 

Stepping back before he could respond, you took off your towel, putting it on the desk nearby. Turning back around, you saw his face, eyes eagerly running up and down your exposed body. 

“I think you’d look better in nothing,” he mumbled, hand rubbing at his chin. You felt yourself get warmer at his comment, and you threw a wink at him, before walking over to the director who was setting up a beautiful red car. 

“Game plan?” you asked, clapping your hands together. 

-

Ten minutes later, you were balancing on Kells’ thigh as he sat on the car’s hood. One leg hitched over him, the other extended as you stood straight. You pressed your torso against his, arching into him, throwing your head back so you could bare your neck. 

Placing both hands on his chest, you laughed as the director yelled at Colson, placing him into position. He wrapped a hand around your back and you felt yourself naturally lean into the touch. His other hand came to rest on your bare thigh, pressing in slightly, fingers barely there. He looked straight at you, and you feel your heartbeat pulse as the camera started clicking. 

“Y/N! Wrap your arms around his neck. Yes, now look right over at the camera,” came the shouts from the director. Colson pulled you closer, bringing the arm around your waist closer. He turned to face the camera too and you watched the director falter for a second before rushing over to take the picture. 

“Holy fuck! That was incredible,” she yelled from behind the screen, and you giggled, letting your head fall on his shoulder. 

-

“Y/n, you’re free to go for tonight,” the executive director said, pointing around the rest of the crew to pick up different set pieces. You nodded, grabbing your duffel bag as you turned to face her real quick, “Uh, what about Kells?” 

He was across the room, getting more eyeshadow dusted onto his cut, typing away on his phone. The director looked over at him, before looking at you, eager to get away with him. 

Rolling her eyes, she went, “Listen, I need him for a few more shots tonight, but he’ll be done in half an hour if you wanna hang around. I know Gina’s been dying to catch up with you.”

Grinning, you dropped your bag on the seat. Pulling your hair up into a ponytail, you walked past Colson to the hair station. Gina had been the first friend you’d made modeling and she was incredible at her job, a creative visionary when it came to not only styling hair, but keeping it protected when crazy things were happening too. 

Leaving the room, you heard Colson go, “Hey, wait where’s Y/N going?” and you smiled, knowing that you weren’t the only one feeling the heat building between the two of you. As you got out of earshot, you could still hear the director yelling, “Don’t get your panties in a twist!” and you almost walked smack into Gina herself, snickering at his panic. 

-

Half an hour later, you were clinging onto Gina’s words as she told you the latest horror story of a terrible famous client. She had broke out a bottle of rosé, sipping on bubbles while you picked at the platter of fruits you had stolen from the front desk. There was a knock on the door, and you hopped off of the counter, pulling it open. Kells stood there, back in his regular clothes, Converse knocking against each other as he stumbled a little. 

“Hey,” he mumbled. 

You lifted your cup up, taking another sip, raising your eyebrows, urging him to continue by nodding slightly. 

“So, I’m kinda stuck in the area for the next two days for this terrible photoshoot I’m doing with this horrible girl -” he started, and you interrupted him, choking on the rosé as it hit the back of your throat, laughing. 

“Sorry, uh, you were talking about this awful girl?” you continued, getting most of it out of your system. 

“Right, yeah. Would you wanna get dinner with me?” he finished, making that eye contact again, creating a warm fuzz in your tummy. 

“Yeah, yes. Yeah,” you blurted out, rosé and nerves rumbling within you. 

“You said that already,” he grinned as you went over to pick up your bag. 

“Shut up,” you grinned back, trying to hide your smile. 

“Bye Gins, I’ll catch you tomorrow,” you said, leaning in for a hug. Kissing your cheek, she whispered in your ear, “Get some please. I need to know, for science,” and you let out a belly-laugh before following Colson out the door as he waved goodbye. 

It was all in the name of science right? No harm, no foul.

#here i go clown x2 #pls dont fail me now #mgk imagine #mgk lyrics #mgk icons #mgk fanfic #mgk fanfiction #mgk x reader #mgk smut #machine gun kelly imagine #machine gun kelly x reader #machine gun kelly fanfiction #machine gun kelly fanfic #machine gun kelly smut #colson baker x reader #colson baker fanfiction #colson baker imagine #colson baker fanfic #colson baker smut #m writes 4 mgk #m-writes-4-mgk #galore #galore magazine #romeo et juliette

[pop-punklouis]

Please let's talk about how smart louis is! It honestly amazes me just how intelligent he is and how people have always scraped that to the side because he's always been labeled the "goofball" and the "immature one"

i don’t have time to really dive into it but! here’s some of my running thoughts:

Louis is such a smart person and businessman. he is incredibly intelligent, and he knows the industry better than anyone because of the grueling fight he’s been entangled in for years with it. and he always sees the bigger picture. i fully trust that he has a plan that he’s been moving towards step by step for years, and with this tour possibly (hopefully) being his last obligation to sony, we’ll see so much unfold with BMG and his independent status going into LT2. he has the stamina and presence to go completely independent and negotiate deals with major labels and corporations without being chained under the umbrella of them. and i’m incredibly excited to see him thrive independently and for this all to occur in real time. like previously mentioned, the way he has built his brand and career over the years makes me certain that he’s going to have such longevity and such an impact in the industry. his staying power and steady climb on top of his immense relatability and personability with fans is vital to his dynamic as an artist. not to mention, the decision made with his first record to not veer too incredibly far from the sound fans were accustomed to (while also being able to blend his musical influences into that sound) so he could seamlessly transition to his sophomore record and to the sound that i, ultimately, believe he wants and will have on LT2 was so, so smart. also, the way he wants to create his own management company where he is the CEO and is very hands-on with the artists— knowing exactly how to genuinely guide them, let them express themselves, be who they are, and trusting their talent beyond everything else. and the free music festival he put on independently??? all the decisions he makes are elaborately planned, and when they finally come to fruition within the fandom it always makes so much sense that’s why i’m such a firm believer in trusting louis and trusting how he navigates his career the best he can because no one knows him and his goals and his career better than himself.

also x2! his acute awareness of everyone and everything around him, knowing how to channel into his environment and adapt to be what is needed in certain circumstances is brilliant. he can tap into people’s emotions and instantly know how to calm them. plus he knows sign language. is incredibly conscious of class and gatekeeping. well-versed in many different topics. has carefully curated a whole lyric video that touched on different parts of his identity and social politics. has the most writing credits in one direction. reads psychology books for fun. nonchalantly just brings out nikola tesla’s key to the universe???

yeah, louis IS a goofball and can clown around, making people laugh and being a completely menace but that part of him can also coexist with louis being insightful, resourceful, clever, hard-working, genuine, big-hearted, and really fucking intelligent. and no one can ever take that away from him.

#grey #louis brain

[just-pineapple-responses]

Just curious, how many shower thought (response) blogs are there? I just dived into this side of tumblr (not gonna make any posts its fun to read though) and I'm already losing my mind

Well there is

The. Literal. Sun.

Plasma...

S p a c e

ALL HAIL THE LIGHT

The void. It shall consume ALL.

A typewriter incase anyone wants to write their will before they die

Also some ink, not related to the typewriter

Also some words, I wonder who'll use them

A hat with no maker and a maker with no hat

The pen is mightier than the sword. It just so happens that this one is evil. Luckily I can summon multiple

Anyone order some coffee?

Ooo, an author

The literal embodiment if of fanart

A fork, nom noms

B҉ r҉ o҉ k҉ e҉ n҉ 

Soap

Soap(for hair)

Toothpaste

🄵🄰🅄🄲🄴🅃

Towel

Bath mat

Washcloth

Bathtub

Bathwater

𝔹𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕓𝕠𝕞𝕓

Bubblebath!

One (1) bath boi

Some M͓̽o͓̽l͓̽d͓̽ (anybody got some strong disinfectant?)

Nvm, the mold has already caused a plague (gettit?) (although user misspelled it)

Nevermind, there's already a parasite here

Mirror

Door!!!

Some curtains

A denim jacket

Blackout

Rainbow

✨ Magic ✨

*Tree poses to assert dominance*

Coconut

(obviously me)

I think popeye dropped a tin of spinch and it became sentient?

Tost

Hummus. dip tost?

Criss Cross applesauce

Wibbly wobbly Wibbly wobbly jellyo

Mmmm océan s o u p

Some poison, a great addition for my soup

Smol bean

Potat

Shower magpie who I haven't seen in a while

Bird (brain)

Frog(×2:Electric Boogaloo)

An axolotl!

Ferret

*looks at smudged writing on hand. Squints. * a raccoon

Stinky bastard man (I just had to put the two next to each other)

Rat.

Becometh crab 🦀 (x2: Electric Boogaloo)

Nya~

Edgy Nya~

Tripod of dog

Brain

Nina i found one of your neurons (if you understand this reference, good job you)

A rotted brain, keep it away before it infects us all, I only have 2 braincells left

Did... Did someone drop their spinal cord?

The almighty binch

The titanic

Narrator

Water based introspection

Existential crisis

Dumbass

Also a pacifier (get it because they're also called dummies and their name is dummy)

A foolish thought to say a sorry sight join the shower community (as you can tell we did Shakespeare in English so many times i pretty much can recite everything lady macbeth said)

ADHD

Ominous

Anonymous

Anxious 🥺👉👈

Some edgy bastard

A person of culture I see (although obsessed with tweed for some reason)

1 Dapper boi

Sarcastic

nice

All smiles and sunshine

HAPPY! (why isn't there yellow 😔)

Affection (Derogatory) (I'm sorry I just felt like it)

~Petty~

Idiot

Disaster

Chaos and Order

Comebacks

'vanishing'

Defences

Threatened

Op is on drugs

All the F s

And F-general

Get out of the shower

Shower responses

Dry

The horny and the simp

Shower sins

Thower shoughts

I take quick showers

Shower thots

Last responder *countdown music*

You have shower thoughts?

Your shower thoughts are stupid

Wtf shower thoughts

Another shower responder

MORE

Just shower responses... responses

Response shower

NO SHOWER! only thought (×3)

Mmm, showery

Penny for your thoughts?

Hello darkness my old friend...

Llawyer

Beepbeep

Prussia

Haywire!!!

furry OwO

A Pigeon got in through the door, who left it open?

I'm feeling devious

You're looking glamorous, let's get mischievous, and polyamorous

Gay is stored in the ass

Gay

Trans

*opens door and walks through with you exaggeratedly* Fellas we got the whole LGBTQIA+ community right here

Enby

Hahaha gender go brrr

Lesbian

Lesbian-thot

Lust

Someone who thinks it funny to clown around

Joker (derogatory)

Haha straight

Dead inside

Some supervillain idk

News. Literally a shower news style responses

r

I cannot believe that I forgot Her Greatest Majesty, the Queen. All Hail Royal

Isaac newton?

M megamind?

Fiftieth

Crackhead

Some Phoenix Wright kinnie

What is a Dean Winchester and why does he have a tentacle fetish?

Well well well, if it ain't a homestuckian

Did someone kill/rob The Doctor or something, their TARDIS was left behind and its blocking my pretzels that I left in the shower

Mined crafts uwu

Well well well, if it ain't- *accidentally makes eye contact and is then killed by some unknown shadowy creature holding what seems to be some sort of cube of dirt*

GOTTA GO FAST

Mishamishamishamishamishamishamisha

Gen Z and ready to throw hands with OP

Not puki

Nom noms

Dip dap

Kensa

B͓̽u͓̽n͓̽g͓̽e͓̽r͓̽ ..........

Someone broke their space bar or something

It's time to d-d-d-d-d-dshower

The magical deity of sleepovers

DON'T FALL ASLEEP. NO MATTER WHAT THEY TELL YOU-

The muffin man genuinely left drury Lane for this

Txmblr

Moonlit nights on a winters day, stars glimmering gently

A child?

🟥

The fae. Just all of them. Every single one.

Crocus? (What on earth does that mean)

*sings* baba blacksheep have you any wool? Because if not you will be killed (this fits the tune perfectly. If not I have failed in everything)

The theatre itself is here... Somehow

Ahoy-hoy

boo

REEEE- *epic geometry dash gameplay to DanTDM's old intro music*

Yardale, not to be mistaken for riverdale and differs to lawn ale or front porch ale or even meter ale

I'll finish this list later

It's gonna be a long one folks

I'm including a ones that haven't spoken since ages ago because

Boy howdy there's new ones tell me who I'm missing now

Please stop thank you very much this is too many i keep having to add to this any new responder must kill a responder to continue the purge shall claim y'all as I will win i recently started watching Danganronpa

Seriously though everyone after mirror must have a battle royale it's too much i doubt all of you will even last longer than today also happy birthday me -dated:28th- do you even realise what sort of commitment you've made to sell pieces of your soul for entertainment and ability to make such epic retorts each and every post?! I sacrifice many souls DAILY to be throwing such bangers into this stuff y'know?

We have a tap guys we can finally wash our hands of all the blood of our enemies

Seriously though who left the door open I don't want a Pigeon pecking at me (the mishapocalypse got them lol)

So many responders so little time before the end of the world

If I'm missing someone please tell me very thank

There are not enough colours for me to assign a different one to each person 😔 also, wtf is on there twice on purpose

WorldHealthOrganisation IS MISSING (note: you may have a joke in place of name or under a category of names)

So there's lore without me?

ALL HAIL THE LIGHT *moth noises*

Okay now there's alternate timeline versions of responders for the benefit of myself they ain't going on the list bud

There is an incorrect role play blog quotes blog and I am crying. Not of laughter. Just wiuwhdhsjhshjxjabjsjdhdjsj

If any new people join I will go back to causing shower wars for the sake of killing you all I'm done I have snapped my laptop is updating 3 times in a row

I will commit crimes.

Does being a shower responder or role-playing seem encouraging to people to join this "community"? Because I'm pretty sure it's the latter

#ShowerThoughts blogs #Asks #As you can see I'm trying to organise in order of inanimate to animal to concepts to water else #*whatever else #And now rp blogs wow

[2-cute-4-school]

𝙉𝘾𝙏 𝘿𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 : 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣 𝙞𝙙𝙤𝙡 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙

@cherry-jaemin ~ Hello! Can I request a dreamies reaction to you being an idol and their best friend? Thank you!! ♡ (◕‿◕✿)   ~~~  Thank you so much for your request it was really fun to write, hope you’ll like it!! :)))))

Mark Lee

he cherishes you A LOT (︶ω︶)

but i honestly see him as someone who keeps his private life private

so your close friendship is kept lowkey

but he finds time to spend time with you despite both your busy schedules even if it’s made through your phone screens :(((((

one thing he’s most grateful for is that you understand

you understand what it’s like spending hours in the practice room frustrated, you understand what it’s like constantly missing home, you understand what it’s like working nonstop with no breaks until your body forcefully gives up my heart breaks for him every damn time

you understand him

your friendship is so pure (•ˇ‿ˇ•)

like you can both be laughing your asses off one minute, mark flopping around like a fish on land

and the next one you can be having a therapy session usually consisting of wordless comfort

mark doesn’t seem an emotional person but if there’s one(1) thing that can shatter him is witnessing you on your breaking point

like you were usually the one to check up on him often and pull him away from work for a while before he drowned himself in it

so seeing you overworked and utterly exhausted made him sick

no one could convince him to leave your side for some time (⌯˃̶᷄ ﹏ ˂̶᷄⌯)ﾟ

you clung onto each other and mark softly scolded you for taking more care of him than yourself despite knowing that he’d do the same you’re like his baby he’s allowed to

other than your emotional moments you’re so playful together

‘bruh’ ‘dude’ ‘man’ - your daily vocabulary involving each other -_-

you sometimes gather in a studio and just write lyrics together or help each other with practice bonding time

basically you just vibe together so well and you’re just so grateful for each other’s presence because it eases your hectic and busy lives

you feel like a breath of fresh air to him and vice versa

Huang Renjun

friendship with him is basically clowns clowning each other 🤡

even more so since you can both joke about your shared career

he makes a tradition of reacting to your every m/v god help u he clowns you from the first second to the last

“looking a bit constipated aren’t we, y/n? i guess that hotpot didn’t sit well with you” <(￣︶￣)>

“that’s just my face when i think about u, garden troll”

*huff* *incoherent mumbles of protest*

but he secretly streams THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR M/V and forces the rest of the dreamies to watch it several times too

you watch his radio every evening and sometimes even send in cringy messages just to get a reaction out of renjun lol

so basically you’re super supportive of each other but in your own ways

imagine sleepovers ma friend that’s a wiiild ride

ghost stories, alien conspiracies, crazy theories - THE MAIN MENU

bet y’all renjun can’t sleep without someone he can hold onto after watching or talking about scary things ੧| ‾́ー ‾́ |੭

and you wouldn’t call that cuddling no, it’s more like....strangling....but with love....kinda....yeah that sure  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

on another note, you made it you personal mission to lift his confidence whenever SM doesn’t treat him right (╬ Ò ‸ Ó) y’all evil cockroaches

and renjun always promotes you subtly during his lives

“ ‘renjun can you give us a song recommendation?’ yeah sure actually there’s this song-” spoiler alert : it’s always one of your songs

one of the biggest secrets in kpop is who drew that *absolutely* gorgeous portrait of you that you proudly showed in your own live

spoiler alert x2 : it’s renjun, it’s always renjun

your friendship is really one of a kind

basically best friends lovingly clowning and supporting each other at the same time precious am i rite

Lee Jeno

jeno seems like a very comforting person to me

like he’s someone you can go and vent to about all the pressure of your career and what not

and he’d just listen to you and hold your hand tightly in his if you’re able to meet face to face, he has his own way of grounding you when everything gets hectic （＾ｖ＾）

he’s a lowkey hypeman

whenever you happen to perform at the same awards show as dream he makes sure to dance and cheer cutely for you o(≧∇≦o)

you won an award?? this man is so proud he hollers louder than your fans well basically he’s your no.1 fan soo :))))))

he always tries to shield you away from hate so it’s one of the reasons he doesn’t disclose much of your closeness lowkey protective jeno

you had an airport accident once common against idols unfortunately

lemme tell ya, jeno went NUTS  (｀⌒´メ)

he’s not a confrontational person but he CAN and WILL be when it comes to you

he babies the heck out of you for the next few days :3

and once he has the occasion to turn on vlive he takes a minute to *calmly* explain that while idols love their fans, it’s not fine for fans to invade their privacy and personal space preach sister

you were also close to flipping the sasaengs’s shit up when they kept bothering keno with calls leave the man alone jeez (┛ಠДಠ)┛彡┻━┻

he always reminds you to to take care of yourself

“don’t push yourself too hard” “don’t drink too much coffee, you’ve seen what it can do to jaemin and we don’t want that now, do we?”

he often covers your dances ⌒°(❛ᴗ❛)°⌒ and nails them

“jeno you’re dancing better than me on MY OWN SONG”

“idk what you’re talking about” (＾ω＾)

overall your cheerleader and each other’s poorly read not at all paid bodyguards

Lee Haechan

“your sun is here to enlighten your life!!!!!”

“gtfo hyuck”

this man knows no privacy

he’s ruthless and he visits whenever he wants even if it means that’s on a wednesday AT 3 AM (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

he tells you it’s because your ‘just forcefully woken up’ is the best blackmailing material

in reality it’s because he just misses you A LOT ( ⁍᷄⌢̻⁍᷅ )

this rascal is busy a lot and you’re busy a lot and so every single moment spent with you is so so precious to you both

he gets overwhelmed by this feeling of longing sometimes so he acts on instinct and just barges in wherever you are

but you can also count on him at any time

*middle of the night* *donghyuck sleepily answering his phone* *sniff* *sniff* “hyuck”

“yeah what’s wrong??? who am i beating up???? should i take johnny too???? just say the name cutie (*｀Ω´*)”

you only ended up crying about missing his cuddles

*sigh* “you only love me for my cuddles”

you once told him fleetingly that you missed breakfast and lunch

you found 2 boxes of takeout outside your apartment already paid by a certain someone i need a hyuck pls

he’s also quite vocal about your friendship and randomly mentions you

“y/n told me that i look cutest with my baby belly so unless you wanna pick a fight with them lay off gremlin” ー(￣～￣)ξ

both your dreams are to get to collab on something anything it would be heavenly for hyuck to colllab with anyone tbh

nothing can keep you 2 apart, your duo is just too strong and the world just isn’t ready for you

Na Jaemin

he’s such a warm person

he babies you but just because he wishes you’d have more time to spend with each other ( *’ω’* )

so the only way to quench his worry is texting you daily to make sure you’re alright and taking care of yourself or he’d personally do it

the way he talks about you tho (╯✧∇✧)╯ like you put the stars in the sky you did for him

“y/n is actually quite good at this game, i ate dirt when we played together”

“y/n looks so pretty in those pictures we took together” Σ(*ﾉ´>ω<｡`)ﾉ

“y/n is my favorite model end of story”

talking about his love for photography, you’re his model 80% of the time

his camera roll is filled with pictures of you every time you find enough time in both your busy schedules to meet up

he has enough to open a fanpage if he hasn’t done that already ;)

in turn you’d secretly dedicate parts of the lyrics you wrote to him

i’m telling you he would CRY hearing your sweet voice sing such beautiful words meant for him he would feel so appreciated pls ( ˃̣̣̥ω˂̣̣̥ )

he always says that he has no other friends other than his members so having you validating the strong bond he feels with you would elevate him to cloud 9  :,(((((

i can imagine you two meeting on a variety show a mess that would be

you can’t be too close in front of the cameras in order not to give the wrong impressions

but behind the scenes you’re not leaving each other’s side, chatting and clinging onto each other the entire time (≡^∇^≡)

and even on screen as long as you’re allowed to you’re attached to the hip, ALWAYS beside each other

in conclusion you’re the besties everyone is envious of and wishes to share such a precious bond with someone ∩(︶▽︶)∩

Zhong Chenle

y’all are basically the ‘you can’t sit with us’ pair -_-

another one who i think would keep your friendship private

like it is public that you two are friends but neither of you shares more about your meetups and so on

but chenle is lowkey highkey whipped

chenji making keychains for the rest of nct? +1 for y/n (/^▽^)/

surprise party for chenle’s birthday? you’re dressed as staff waiting for him to notice you after cameras are turned off he screeched so loud the entire building heard him and then proceeded to cling onto you forever

you know how chenle took jisung to him home in china? he took you with him as often as you both could afford the time to he even rescheduled a few times to make it convenient for you to come along (｡•́︿•̀｡)

he buys all versions of your albums cuz he can

going to each other’s concerts!!!!!

i can imagine you accompanying his family to the dream concert (˃̩̩̥ɷ˂̩̩̥) the same one when jeno and jaemin decided to get nakey nakey yes

you’re texting nonstop istg (◔_◔)

chenle can always be seen texting in the waiting rooms and so on

you’re his source of confidence before concert and certain schedules

also you’re probably discussing your hangout plans :))))

which often ends up in playing basketball in a park at night and then getting bored or tired and just wandering aimlessly around

you secretly record duets together unreleased unfortunately ( ب_ب )

and he teaches you how to play piano

basically your friendship is very playful and you find a comfort place in each other to remind yourselves that you’re allowed to have fun and live your lives o(*>ω<*)o

Park Jisung

i think it took quite a while to befriend him

his shyness can get the best of him sometimes it’s okay bby

but once you got hi to break out of his shell you’ve got yourself a lifelong best friend congrats (ര̀ᴗര́)و ̑̑

he shows his caring nature through small acts

texts you good luck and encourages you before award shows

becomes your dramatic weatherman

literally glitches if you ever have even a *slightly* sexy concept

“how did you like the dance, jisungie?”

“i-uh...um...it was...yeah...it was really uh *coughs* *clears throat* it was NICE, yeah...nice” (๑ּగ⌄ּగ๑)

ofc he *absolutely* loved it, he just respects you and looks up to you too much to make any further commentary

you coach each other through dance routines :3

you never fail to calm down and give confidence to jisung whenever his nerves get in the way

jaemin actually specifically asked you to look after jisung during his hiatus

jisung’s TMI’s sometimes involve you  (´ㅂ`๑)

“today’s tmi? i started working on a surprise for you czennies...and i got help from a very talented performer”

the surprise was a dance cover choreographed and performed with you that was the death of your fandoms ੧| ⊗ ▾ ⊗ |୨

you can be considered childhood friends so you understand each other with little to no words spoken

that’s why everyone loves your ‘partners in pure crime’ friendship

#nct scenarios #nct angst #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct #nct dream #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #nct reactions #nct dream reactions #nct dream fic #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct fic #nct jisung #nct haechan #nct mark #nct renjun #nct jeno #nct jaemin #nct chenle

[imperiuswrecked]

To me, it doesn’t make sense to make Magneto the main villain because it has been done so much before and it would connect it so much to the Fox Films. Also I think there is a GREAT laziness in writing Magneto especially in films. He generally didn’t want to kill all humans, subjugate them yes because he doesn’t trust them. Which isn’t a ‘good guy’ move in itself and he slips in and out of.

He legit murdered genocide I think when he was going to kill all humans. Like no.

I also think that the average cinema goer likes Magneto too much… or maybe that is me. It would also require them to recast the most famous faces of the franchises?

Like is anyone going to care if they recast Jean, Scott, Iceman, Rogue, Kitty, Beast even Mystique but Magneto? I don’t know. I have long been a fan of an actual Jewish actor playing Magneto but following Ian McKellan would be difficult for the casual fans to accept. I don’t think Fassbender left such an amazing impression.

Even my most average MCU fans friends (and god they love the MCU 😤 but I see past it) still talk about how much they want to see a Magneto solo film.

To me I would put the focus on their reveal and sentinels. Then again I thought they’ll go through Krakoa stuff. Like it turns out the mutants have been living on this Island etc

With the ‘simpler times’ comment I have to for the sake of my sanity have to think that it was because Pietro knew where he was. Things were clear to him, as much as it hurt he had his sister. The following trauma had not occurred. Again I don’t think this is true but I am trying to reason bad writing. He didn’t doubt his morality but was indebted and controlled. Shitty actions were out of his control.

I don’t read Avengers so I didn’t know he was shelved for so long.

I think the Trial of Magneto is trying to ride on the coattails of Wandavision because even though she’s not a mutant a lot of the internet was wanting Magneto to show up. So what is the best way to get those fans who wanted to see that? Set up a family comic book where they establish the family again because I guess the MCU fans heard they’ve changed their background and themselves didn’t like it.

I see the Trial of Magneto as something poorly thought out as they saw what the audience was interested in. The timeline kind of clashes uncomfortably with Inferno. Which makes me think it was wedged in there to ride the Wandavision train and undo the retcon on the side of the main storyline.

Thank you for reading my essay/rant

Ok so I'm going to first say you have a lot of great thoughts and great on picking up the whole forced feeling. You are right, it does feel wedged in there and it does feel forced because that's exactly what Marvel did.

The Trial of Magneto was supposed to be an X-Factor plot, it was Leah Williams next arc, here's an article link talking about her podcast: link (yes I know it's bleeding cool but I don't have time to listen to the podcast)

Leah Williams tells us that X-Factor was canceled because Leah's pitch for the Magneto/Wanda story for X-Factor, now called Trial Of Magneto, became such a popular pitch at Marvel but they thought the reader numbers for X-Factor wasn't big enough for this story, so they wanted it as a separate comic. And canceled X-Factor #10 rather than seeing it run as originally planned, with the Trial beginning in X-Factor #15. Williams says she only learned about the cancellation of X-Factor when she was writing #9, so as she had to finish the series quickly, squeezing six issues worth of story into those last two issues, calling it "cramped and rushed".

So I'm not a fan of Leah but the way Marvel treats it's writers has always been terrible so this cancellation doesn't surprise me. Could this be about W*ndaVision? It's likely, but it's more likely this has to do with Hickman bowing out. It's no secret literally everyone hated the retcon and I always knew it would be undone but I didn't think it would take 6 years but here we are.

Hickman leaving is a bigger thing, he stated in an interview ( link ) that he had planned Krakoa and X-Men to be a 3 arc story, and he wasn't allowed to move onto the 2nd arc because the clowns at Marvel liked the idea of Krakoa too much and I'm so mad because that's exactly the kinda behavior that annoys me with the fans, them thinking Krakoa is just a fun playground for the mutants to mess around with.

"Oh, plans have changed entirely," Hickman says. "When I pitched the X-Men story I wanted to do, I pitched a very big, very broad, three-act, three-event narrative, the first of which was House of X. And while this loosely worked as a three-year plan, I told Marvel upfront that I honestly had no idea how long the first part would last because there were a lot of interesting ideas that I had seeded that other creators would want to play with, and so, we left this rather open-ended. I was also pretty clear with all the writers that came into the office what the initial, three-act plan was so no one would be surprised when it was time for the line to pivot." Hickman continues, "However, I also knew that I was cooking with dynamite, and it was very possible that what I had written in House of X, and the ideas contained within, was not actually the first act of a three-act story, but something that resonated more deeply and worked more like Giant-Size X-Men, where it would represent a paradigm shift in the entire X-Men line for a prolonged period of time. So, during the pandemic, when the time came for me to start pointing things toward writing the second-act event, I asked everyone if they were ready for me to do that, and to a man, everyone wanted to stay in the first act. It was really interesting, because I appreciated that House of X resonated with them to the extent that they didn't want it to end, but the reality was that I knew I would be leaving the line early."

I'm so MAD because the thing I was predicting, that Hickman would have it come crashing down and everything would be revealed to be terrible and Mutant Death Sex Cult Island wasn't a paradise is never going to happen because the fucking CLOWNS at Marvel don't want him to move past it. I may have my personal gripes about some of Hickman's writing but we can't deny the man wrote one of the best if only the best Marvel Event with Fantastic Four/Avengers/Secret War.

As for the simpler times comment, like I have my theories that I wrote out here, and that's what I think is most likely but I do think Pietro's life has never been easy or simple once his adoptive parents died. Pietro could be drinking to a time before the Brotherhood.

I would love for a Jewish actor to play Magneto and any other characters who are Jewish. I would love for a Jewish writer to be able to write them too. However Ian's performance literally set him in the minds of the people as Magneto, not even Fassbender's bleh one note Magneto could compare. Imo the only reason people liked the younger Magneto was because he was young, handsome (? ig idk i dont simp for him) and they could ship him with young professor X (cowards. where is the old man ship???) But I feel like a new actor could definitely fill the role if they are Jewish and the writing was good.

Magneto's writing in comics... well I just wish we could have a Jewish writer for him. There's some great stuff for him but I feel like characters like him and Doom could be written better by non white/american writers.

Although by today's standards the og X-Men trilogy doesn't hold up I will defend the first two movies with my life simply because after Blade these movies opened up the idea that a good serious, non campy version where characters called Magneto and Cyclops were taken seriously. X2 in my mind was the definitive X-Men movie. Was it totally comic accurate? No, but it doesn't do what the MCU does, it doesn't treat the watcher like they need to have their hand held through all the military propaganda and "hints to the comics". Also side note; the reason no one cared about any of the other X-Men being recast is because all through most of the X-Men movies the focal story point has been Professor X vs Magneto. If they really want people to care about those characters/actors then we would need stories that focused on them. Not like how Storm barely had any character growth or plot in the og X-Men and even young Ororo got mishandled by the script. This is why I feel we should have "origin movies" for the X-Men that don't do what Wolverine Origins did and try to make a whole new cast but instead should use the stories as they are. If it was Kurt's story then we would see him join the X-Men, and have the other actors revolve around that. Same with each of the others, the X-Men work best when they are working off each other and each given enough screen/page time to shine. Unfortunately we all have our favorites, even movies and writers, so those are who are going to be pushed for fans to love.

Thank you for your long rant and sorry for my own long rant/reply.

#xmen #x men #comic talk #xmcu #magneto #erik lensherr #imp answers

[madcom-stuff-of-interest]

Trick!Hofnarr masterpost:

Concept - [Begin]

The Plot

[ 1 ] - (Hey, what if this happens here-?)

[ 2 ] - "If I have to go through everybody here, so be it."

[ 3 ] - "Touch it, you die."

[ 4 ] - "Well that sucked, moving on."

[ 5 ] - “...With the benefit of forethought-”

Bonus Content and Questions

[ X1 ] - (This is starting to get out of hand...)

[ X2 ] - "Welcome to clown town, Hank!"

[ X3 ] - (All a part of the creative process!)

[ X3A ] - (Unstoppable force, immovable object)

[ X3B ] - (Cheeky bastard.)

[ X3C ] - (It’s only bad if it’s ironic.)

[ X3D ] - (Seeing double?)

[ X3E ] - (Creativity is a process, sometimes it’s funny.)

[ X4 ] - (Expressions bedoubled.)

[ X5 ] - (Serious? To a point...)

[ Q1 ] - (...I may have had this joke planned for a time-)

[ X6 ] - (Gone falling!)

[ X7 ] - (Chaotic Competent)

#my post #trick!hofnarr #to be pinned #(or at least to be added to the pinned post so i don't lose the damn thing) #ironically this thing is probably gonna get very... VERY long. especially if i keep up with it! #so we'll see how many posts this takes

[requiem626k]

The Drama CD as per requested hehe🤭 hope you enjoy

link

Thank you so much!! ❤️ I’m listening to it now and am already squealing over hearing their voices, ah I missed them so much😖

I’ll first write my overall thoughts here and then I’ll be rambling about specific parts under the cut😂

This was so comforting to listen to oh my God. I could listen to their beautiful voices for days. And overall I loved it SO MUCH like- this was a really sweet summary of each character’s personalities and dynamics, ahh. 🤭 It was a very enjoyable listen and it lightened up my morning🥰

“We’ve been having conversations yet we still haven’t heard Dazai’s exotic voice” AJXLSMX KUNIKIDA (edit after 5 seconds: now I know what he means by “exotic” akxkns omg his voice)

I was daydreaming about going with them until they said females couldn’t come😂😤

“No time to relax and chat” Kunikida- chill😭

Aww he cares about Dazai and his body’s coldness though, even though it’s not so gently said :’) AND WHY ARE DAZAI’S ACHOOS THAT CUTE HE SNEEZES LIKE A KITTEN <3

The glasses part💀😂 I laughed out loud I wasn’t expecting it in that context at all- It makes sense, I’m sure it feels very vulnerable without them🥲 BANDAGES AJXLSN yeah makes sense x2

“Kunikida looks happy” I LOVE THAT PRECISION ATSUSHI TYSM, WOULD’VE LOVED TO SEE THAT ANIMATED😖💕 the fact that he looks happy after Dazai said they were ‘open’ to each other, my heart <3 I always melt whenever they hint at Dazai and Kunikida’s dynamic’s softer and more emotional part instead of the usual bickering😖

Why is the whole “rubbing back” thing making me uncomfortable😂😂 omg

Dazai no- 😭😭😭 The gulugulugulu parts are sending me- And Kunikida’s ‘showing off his swimming skills’ omg I can’t- I’m laughing so much😭😂

“The leading teacher of a study tour” There’s literally no better way to define Kunikida💀 Why does he always avoid speaking about his teaching past though🥺

DAZAI NO X2- 😭 ajakxnsl I love how Tanizaki is calling him straight-up a corpse

THE CHAOS I CAN’T- Dazai honestly wakes up in the morning and decides to mix the day up omg😂

Dazai and Atsushi’s sweet interaction is making me sob🥺 ahh “I don’t know what to say… I don’t know, but I should have a lot to say” Atsushi😭 It’s really touching my heart to imagine how he feels towards Dazai that words aren’t even enough to start from somewhere🥺 “In the end, I didn’t say anything.” Why is this making me feel so bittersweet, BSD STOP😭🥺

imnotcryingimnotcryingimnotcryingimnotcryingiMNOTCRYINGNO

ATSUSHIIIIIII😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️ I really appreciate him for being able to talk about his feelings so much oh my God. Teach me your ways, Atsushi.

Ahh the way Dazai avoids talking about his feelings hurts me so much yet is so relatable😖 I’m sure he had a lot to say to him at that moment too, yet once again he hid behind the clowning mask😢

#Kat🦋 #i love this so much omg💕 #ahh it literally made my morning😭 #bsd drama CD