for the record regardless of what grians says on reddit im going to Choose to believe that bigb got an intentionally weird task from the secret keeper. its called a headcanon and crafting your own narrative and im killing the author myself +
Too many fucks in the hotel kitchen (most of them thankfully not literal) (MOST of them)
Angel Dust: “Are you TRYIN’ to kill me???”
Vaggie: “If I was, I wouldn’t have missed.”
Angel Dust: “YOUR SPEAR ALMOST SHAVED OFF MY CHEST FLUFF”
Vaggie: “You looked at Charlie and said ‘ugh’.”
Angel Dust: “No shit I said UGH! Your girlfriend’s oozing demonic tar all over the kitchen!”
Vaggie: “So? She’s allowed to have midnight snacks without being a night person.”
Angel Dust: “Not all over my bagel she isn’t!”
Charlie: “???bAGeL???”
Angel Dust: “Oh hell no you don’t-”
Vaggie: “Give her the bagel and it’ll give me time to make pancakes.”
Charlie: “!!!!!!pAN-----CAkEsssssss!!!”
Angel Dust: “…you’re fucking one fucking creepy lady, lady.”
Vaggie: “Shows what you know, asshole. She’s absolutely adorable, aren’t you Charlie?”
Charlie: “~~~~HEHEHEH~~~ iM cUUUTe~~~”
Angel Dust: “Motherfucker… these damn pancakes had better be worth it.”
Vaggie: “The fuck said I was making you any?”
Angel Dust: “What th- I gave your creepy girl my bagel!”
Vaggie: “And called her creepy.”
Angel Dust: “I made a sacrifice out of the goodness of my heart and this is what I get for it? That was my fucking bagel! RESPECT MY FUCKING BAGEL, BITCH!!”
Husk: “Who the fuck let him fuck the bagels again.”
Angel Dust: “Oh fff-uck me.”
Vaggie: “Again?”
Charlie: “Bagel-ssS? PLURAL???”
Angel Dust: “Blame Husky voice over there, he dared me to!”
Husk: “I said don’t fuck up that bagel.”
Angel Dust: “See?? Listen to the way he’s sayin’ it! So I had ta! And it was just the one time!”
Vaggie: “WHEN was this ‘one time’.”
Angel Dust: “…Uhh…”
Vaggie: “…”
Vaggie: “Babe. Drop the bagel.”
Charlie: “Suddenly I’m very awake now and really wish I wasn’t.”
- NEW HOTEL RULE ANNOUNCEMENT-
57.) No fucks in the kitchen. Not of any kind. Don’t even say the word while you’re in there, it’s too fucking dangerous.