#he's on this fockin ice.

[ferny-bread]

Struggling to cope with Servamp?

Simply stop🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 (and make a self insert🤭)

[click for better quality please and thank you🫶🏼]

#and this goes to everyone who's a lot like a girl I know #Song I'm referencing in that first doodle of me self insert is La Niña Fresa #translation uhhhhh #pretty much #anyway it was meant to be a start to a comic where it's H (self insert name) and the Melancholy group just teasing Tsubaki🤭 #It's only a little fun LOLSIES #Headcanon Belkia has pink braces #It just makes sense in my brain #Catching up on Servamp has ruined me nobody warned me about this #BUT DAMN ALL THESE CHARACTERS ARE FINE #side eyeing Lily though. #he's on this fockin ice. #Servamp #Servamp fanart #Tsubaki Melancholy #Tsubaki Servamp #Belkia Servamp #Servamp Belkia #Servamp self insert #Tsubaki 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 #Belkia and I are actually besties like canonically says me cause #I'm actually Strike Tanaka 🤭😋☺️ #Belkia Melancholy #ferny bread's art #also cough cough commissions are open #xoxoxo

[octopiys]

Ghost meets the Mactavishes.

(Spoiler for chapter 9, The Common Tongue of You Loving Me)

(CW for cursing... I think that's it?)

December 17th, 2022

The Mactavish Household

Fort Wiliam

Scottish Highlands

Lieutenant Ghost was no coward. He was not one to run in the face of a fight, on the brink of a war.

Lieutenant Ghost was never scared.

But bloody fuckin' hell, Simon Riley was.

The Mactavish family cottage was much larger than he imagined. Not that he was imagining some little forest home where only his mother lived, definitely not, but the size of this cottage was... astounding. Cottage... probably wasn't even the best word for it.

He wasn't scared! He kept telling himself that as Johnny dragged him up the icy steps, practically bouncing as they wound their way up the path. More of... on edge? Don't- don't tell anyone that, though-

Soap made a show of knocking on the door, rocking back and forth on his heels. His mohawk was hidden beneath one of Ghost's beanies, his throat underneath a scarf and sweater, but his hands were ungloved as he clutched Ghost's.

Simon, on the other hand, was almost as bundled as he could possibly be. His hoodie pulled up, his mask(not the balaclava, but Roach had a black gaiter to spare, bless him), scarves, jackets, gloves, the whole nine yards. Not everything he wore was black, much to Soap's delight. The scarf was a bright yellow! ....but that was about it.

"Johnny-" Simon started nervously, taking a step back as they waited for the door to open.

"Nuh uh, ye fockin' Brit, ye aren't bailin' outta this 'un!" Soap pulled him back as the door unlocked with a click. Ghost's eyes widened in a sudden regret, and the door swung open. He quickly closed them, pretending and wishing that he was anywhere but there.

A lot of things happened at once. A stifled gasp from whoever was in the doorway, a cheer from his Scot, the warmth suddenly missing from the palm of his hand, more excited scottish chattering, and he almost slipped on the ice.

Someone dragged him inside the home, and every muscle in his body screamed against it, but it was every fiber he had to keep going, his eyes still squeezed shut.

There was a lot of indecipherable talking, he found. English, a bit of Gaelic, and whatever crossed in between, he had a headache ready, but he wouldn't dare complain. After all, he had signed up for this.

Literally.

There was a light poke to his side, and Johnny hissed in his ear, "They're tryin' ta say hello, ye eedjit!"

Ashamed, his eyes snapped back open and he offered a hesitant wave. In front of him stood a shorter, plump woman, with mousy brown hair that just barely reached her shoulders. Her face was lined with age, and crow's feet, a tell tale sign that this was indeed Soap's mother. They had the same nose, same eyes, he noted.

Behind her stood a younger, blonde woman, who beamed enthusiastically at him. He tried to reach for a smile, but was extremely worried it came off as more of a grimace. This must've been Darcy. Soap's... oldest.... sister? Younger, but eldest? There was a lot to keep track of on the car ride here. She was married, he knew, her husband at her side, with kids, but they were nowhere to be seen.

Two faces peeked in curiously from a doorway, one a boy, platinum blond, the other a girl, with mousy brown hair like her mother, but cropped very short. They scattered when they realized they had been spotted. Those must have been the twins.

A few seconds had past in awkward silence, before he cleared his throat. "Uh- Hello, I'm-" A look of panic crossed his face. He had rehearsed many things in his head on the way here, but now that the time had come, he didn't actually know how to introduce himself. Would it be Ghost? Riley? Or.... "I'm Simon. It's nice to meet you all-"

He looked to Soap, hoping sincerely that he didn't come off as choked, nervous, or... any of the other emotions he was feeling that he couldn't decipher. But Johnny was grinning like a madman.

The family looked delighted with his measly attempts at conversation, and almost immediately swarmed him. There was no way he'd be able to keep up with their conversations, but he managed to catch a few good words.

The twins admired from afar, unsure of whether to join them or not. Darcy was saying something to Soap, before hugging him. She must've muttered something in his ear, because he burst out laughing and gave him a light shove. She couldn'tve much younger than Johnny.

Her husband tried as much to restrain her, before giving up and retreating to the kitchen.

Simon didn't even know his name.

A few other people joined them in the entryway, but Simon tried to not take as much notice. There was a lot going on. He felt overwhelmed.

"So yer Si? The one tha' my Johnny boy talks abut in his letters all the tiyme?" His mother started, a look in her eyes that he couldn't identify.

His hands broke into a sweat, and he balled them into fists, then out again nervously. "I'd- well, I'd assume so, Ma'am..." Did Soap know any other Simons?

The woman grinned. "Aye, I'll thank ye fer that. He's a bit much, ainnee? Ye seem like a good choice fer 'im!" Her voice was low, soothing, he thought as his face erupted red. "Yer a big boy, can hold yer own." She looked at Soap, for a moment, then back to him. Like she was waiting for approval.

Soap noticed after a few seconds, coming to his rescue.

His hand dipped around Simon's waist, pulling him close to his side. Public affection? What's that?

Johnny watched him closely, thoroughly enjoying how his skin turned even more pink beneath his gaiter as his eyes shot him a look of silent pleading.

Oh shit, he forgot that Ghost doesn't know how to hold a proper conversation. With anyone else, he could've tried, but with Johnny's mother? Forget about it.

"Oh, shite- Ma, this is Simon, Simon this-"

Mother Mactavish cut him off. "Aye, son, we got ourselves past tha' 'un. Do ye have yer things? Ye hungry?" She looked directly at Simon, and Soap realized that his only purpose was to make Ghost more comfortable.

"Er- Our things are in the car, but I thought-"

The conversation continued as Darcy walked up to Soap.

"Scored yerself a proper brit husband, aye?" There was a mischievous grin on her face as she nudged him.

"Fock off, Darcy, we're not tied up-" He protested through the side of his mouth.

"Awh, ye've gone all housewife on us!" She insisted and he kicked her in the boot, leading his mother to trail off in her sentence and glare at them both.

"Darcy, git an' find the twins, dontcha have better ta do than bein' a scunner ta yer brother?" She swatted her away, but Darcy only laughed, greeting Simon warmly before Mother Mactavish shooed her off. "A bairn, still, ah swear- anyways, boys, go git yer bags, dinners almost done an' then ah'll introduce ye to the others."

Simon nodded, and Soap hid his smirk well. The Lieutenant, no, his partner's jaw was almost completely dropped beneath his gaiter. Ghost was very expressive behind his mask, one of the more plausible reasons as to why he wore it. Johnny tugged him back outside to their rental car.

"So- they're a lot, ainee?" Soap half joked, trying to hide his embarrassment.

Simon was quiet for a moment. "They're very... you."

Soap paused. That wasn't what he was expecting.

"In- in a good way! Not... Well, I wasn't expecting- fuck, I don't know- Soap, shut me up-"

Soap kissed him sharply, over the gaiter. Ghost froze, and Johnny almost laughed. "Yer doolally, L.t." He said, completely straightfaced as he opened the trunk of their car where their suitcases lay.

"....what in the bloody fuck-"

"Yer doolally, bit ah loue ye." It was growing harder to contain his laughter with Simon's increasingly confused eyes.

"I don't- please, Johnny, I just want english-"

"Och, English!" He snarked, heaving Simon's suitcase out of the trunk. "Aye think you're crayzee, Simon, but ah- fuck- but aye love yoou." The other case landed with a thump. He went to lift his up, but Simon smacked him away quietly. "Proper gentleman now, are ye?"

"Shut up." Simon was hiding his face beneath his hoodie, but Soap could tell he was a blushing mess beneath it. "Your English is terrible. I almost prefer the gibberish."

A smile broke out across his face as Ghost lifted both suitcases with ease. "Ye prefer the gibberish!? Gibberish?!?"

"I said 'almost.'" Ghost slid a little on the ice and he paused to steady himself. "I do enjoy understandin' you though-"

Soap was still caught up in the fact that the brit called his beautiful language gibberish. "Well- well, yer ma's gibberish!"

Simon stopped at the top of the steps. "My mum's dead, Soap."

"Awh-" There was a moment that Soap genuinely felt bad, but then he saw Ghost's devilish smirking eyes. "Och, fuck ye, ye can't pull the dead mum card and win e'erytime-"

"Yes I can. Get the door for me?" He shifted the weight of their cases, and Soap grumbled to himself, opening the door for him. Simon waited inside, and Johnny looked at him strangely.

"What're ye waitin' on?"

"... I don't know where I'm going."

"Oh, shite, sorry-"

Simon ended up actually meeting Darcy, whom he was right about. Her husband, Nathan, who was Irish. He was shorter than Ghost, with dark auburn hair. He was in the navy, which Soap had grimaced at, but hid it well. He met their three kids, James, their oldest at ten, Thomas, the middle child, (who had just turned six he was informed), and had taken a great interest in Ghost's hoodie, and Blair, their youngest and only girl at the age of three. She wore pig tails, and already had a face smeared in mashed potatoes. He encountered the twins, too, when they weren't sneaking around and they all sat down to dinner. Jordan, the platinum blond, and Rose, the girl with short brown hair. She had odd earrings, he took note of, but didn't comment on it. He was told that there were a few people missing out on dinner, but Soap later told him that they wouldn't show despite Mother Mactavish's pleading.

Ghost may not have been sure of what half the dinner was, but it was better, much better, than anything he could've ever made. Probably some of the best food he's ever had, excuse the One-Four-One's-giving. The dinner was strangely quiet, but he paid no mind. Most likely because everyone was eating, right?

"So-" Jordan, who sat near the end of the table started, and Ghost looked up from his plate, wiping his mouth and tugging the gaiter back down, suddenly extremely self conscious. Soap shot a warning glance, but the older teen waved it off. "You ever killed anyone?"

"Jordie!" Rose lightly smacked him, and Soap's hand cautiously moved over Ghost's thigh. He felt too many eyes on him, but... I mean, they all knew, right?

"I... Have, yes." He cleared his throat nervously. What was the point in lying? They all knew what Johnny did, at least, for the most part. "But only someone who was trying to hurt other people." Or... someones. Many someones.

Jordan nodded, satisfied at his answer. There was something new in the boy's eyes. Approval.

"Why doya wear that thing on yer face?" James asked, gesturing to his mask. "Ye like Spiderman? I like Spiderman, I have a mask too, see?" The boy pulled said mask from his pocket, and put it on, grinning widely at him.

There was something warm in his chest. "Er- I've-" He didn't know how to formulate a proper answer. So he settled on, "Yeah, I like Spiderman."

He looked up from his plate to find everyone watching him. His skin prickled almost uncomfortably, but then James tried to eat something through his mask, and the moment was up.

"The food is very good, Mrs. Mactavish." Ghost said quietly, and the woman at the head of the table beamed at him. She looked like Johnny, but he was still worried.

'Are you okay?' He mouthed, and Simon gave a slight nod.

And dinner continued. And it was delightful.

One by one, they all finished, the children occasionally asking other questions which he answered honestly. There was no use in lying to a child. They didn't deserve that. But he did sometimes water down the truth. Even Soap was grinning by the end of it, until Ghost slipped up and called him by his call sign, to which Rose perked up and asked why he was called that.

"Because he's-" Watered down truth. "Very good at cleaning out houses." Simon settled on, and Johnny buried his face in his hands, ears a bright red.

"Proper housewife." Darcy said with a laugh.

Soap shot a spoonful of mashed potato at her, shouting to "Shut yer trap, Darce, I'll tell em about yer table incident."

Her mouth dropped open, but there was a mischievous glint shared in both their eyes. Before anything else happened, or Ghost could ask what the table incident was, Mrs. Mactavish cleared the room of everyone else pretty quickly.

Ghost took up a kitchen job in washing dishes as muffled, yet playful shouting echoed from the dining room.

A small hand tugged on his sleeve, and he jumped, splashing water all over himself. "Ah, sh-" Oh no, a child. "Shhh-ooot. Dang it."

"Mister Simon, sir-?" Thomas, Darcy's middle child, who he noticed didn't speak during dinner at all, had started anxiously. The boy was wearing a hat, something else he hadnt noticed earlier.

"Hey, kid...?"

"Yknow, ye don't have ta cover yer face 'cus of the spots, yeah?" The little boy looked up at him, and Simon was confused.

"Whaddya mean?"

"The white spots! See-" He took his hat off, revealing a sharp white streak in his hair, along with a few white patches of skin above his brow. "I have it too! An'- an' i dont want ye ta hide it, cus me ma says its cool! And if ah got it, an' you got it- then we're almost twins! B- Both cool!" The boy twisted his fingers nervously, dropping his big eyes down to the floor.

Simon swallowed the lump in his throat, and pulled his hood off his head with shaking hands. "... Thanks, kid."

Simon was on his knees now, his jacket only slightly wet now from the dish water, and the kid grinned open mouthed and reached for his hair. "Twins! Twins!" He cheered.

Thomas reminded him of Joseph, with his brother's name. It was so terribly ironic.

But for once, this was a good thing.

Little hands grabbed the white torch in the center of a wave of light brown, but they were gentle, and Simon laughed.

He didn't see Soap, or Darcy standing in the doorway, or how Mrs. Mactavish tried to peek through then with tears in her eyes. Or how Soap would step away, dragging the two with him so that they could have the moment, with tears he fought to hold of his own.

It was okay. Not finished, not by a long shot, but it would be okay.

And Simon could heal.

And Johnny could heal.

Maybe all Ghost needed was a couple of Scots to help him out. God, Soap will never let him live this down.

#ghost has vitiligo #call of duty #cod mw2 #modern warfare 2 #ghostsoap #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #cod modern warfare #octopiys writing #ghost x soap #fanfiction #fanfic

[entjvampire]

the audacity of some men.

tw vent

i was literally out at lunchtime with my friend trying to get some ice cream, minding my fucking business. i’m clearly a minor btw. i’m 15. i’m so tired of this shit.

a random 50-60 year old looking ass guy comes up and yells “THOSE ARE SOME FOCKIN AWESOME BOOTS”, i say thank you sir and just feel uncomfortable because he’s clearly checking me out/staring at my chest area.

he then goes “OI WHY WONT YOU LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK”, i am incredibly uncomfortable at this point, and i look up. he then seems satisfied, starts to walk away laughing. “AHA BEAUTIFUL THANKS FOR THE LOOK, LOOKING AT ME DARLING”

in broad fucking daylight?? this might not seem like much but it made me so uncomfortable. every time i go out, even with my friends in daytime i get harassed. there was even a fucking pizza express employee flirting with me and asking if i was free in town later after i said i was a minor, random workmen, etc.

#vent post

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

Prompt 61 & 64 please with Hank. Angst and fluff. Maybe they keep fighting mainly cause they don’t want to admit how much they really like each other. They always argue over anything much to the delight of the guys who love betting on who wins each fight Thanks hun

Author comments: English isn’t my first language, I’m sorry if I have some mistakes with grammar.

Prompts:

61. “You never shut the fuck up?”

64. You have the emotions of a lettuce.

“Put your fucking car aside! I can't even park my bike!”

You're sharing a beer with the guys, having some fun and rest of work. Since you started at ‘Romeros and Bro.’, Mayans adopted you as one of them like the little sister. And even, if you have a crush with Tranq since you met him, you two are always arguing for the minimal detail that could annoy the other.

“Take the handlebar and turn it. Easy”. You reply hearing some whispers in the background, knowing that they're making another of their bets. “I'm having a break with the fam'”.

“They only want you 'cause you have two big tits”.

“You have too, but mine are prettier”. You say proudly raising your chin.

“DAMN!” The Mayans shouts making some noise, before laughing. “She won that battle”.

Hank frowns rolling his eyes. Maybe he's ‘el pacificador’ for his calm character, but one of your goals in life is push him to the limit. And you do ot pretty well. Before he can say anything else, Chucky cross the open door with a worried grimace on his face. You all look at him.

“You know that tires you needed, muchachita?”

“Yo! 'Am gonna kick his fat ass!” You say jumping from your seat.

You've been waiting almost three weeks for two tires you need to use your motorbike, and the dealer has called you every day to tell you ‘yeah, tomorrow you'll have it’. You type the number by heart, going outside to call him back. At the fifth tone, he answers.

“If you don' bring me today my order, after being paid, I'm gonna shoot you between that sleepy cats you have as eyebrows, 'you hear me?” You're angry. Of course you are, 'cause you're tired of using your old car and handle with all the problems this gives you.

“Tell me this face to face, bitch!” He hangs up, leaving you shouting alone.

“Everything ok, muchachita?” Bishop is behind you. Shaking your head, you turn at him.

“This... fucking asshole has scammed me”.

“Do you want us to take care of it?”

“No, Prez... Don' worry. I'll go to his workshop this afternoon”.

━━━━━━ ﹅ ━━━━━━

You're in the crane, moving a car to the next row, when you see his truck coming. The mechanic goes out of it really pissed off and you're gonna fight him, that's for sure. Because of the distraction, the car falls to the ground causing a loud crash. You practically jump out of the heavy crane, walking fast towards him. But before you can shout him again, he pushes you hard with both hands on your chest.

“Yo' fockin' bitch, I'm gonna teach you manners!” He yells with anger, trying to push you again. But your fist is faster, going straight to his nose. The man growls, you too. You have hurt your hand, shaking it hoping the pain goes away.

“Hey, hey! What's goin' on, uh?!” The crew appears when he's about to punch you in the stomach.

Everything happens in a second. Before his fist hits you, Hank lifts you up turning both, and Creeper tackles him to the floor.

“Put me down! I'm gonna break his fuckin' face!” You scream trying to break free.

“'You never shut the fuck up?” He asks, grabbing your hand the moment you free yourself.

You scream because of the pain, making the crew turn at you. The tears falling down on your cheeks, taking it with your other hand. You look at Hank with that kind of gaze a beaten dog has. He walks next to you, having a carefull look. Tranq clicks his tongue, shaking his head with a sigh.

“Lets find some ice, muchachita”.

Putting an arm on your shoulders, he guides you back to the clubhouse, letting the Mayans deal with the mechanic.

Sitting on a couch, Hank leaves you to have some ice wrapped in a rag, wanting to comfort the pain installed in your knuckles. He squats in front of you. You draw a painful grimace on your face, when the cold meets your skin, cleaning your tears with the back of your free hand.

“You're so fucking ugly when you cry”. He says without looking you, knowing that he's trying to make you laugh. He succeeds. “I'm gonna break every bone of his body, I promise”.

“You don' have to, Tranq. It's ok. I'm sure his gonna bring me my order today”.

“I don' give a fuck. I'm the only one who can makes you cry”. That sounds like a confession, stoping your tears, and looking at him confused.

“Why?”

“'Cause I say so. And that's enough”.

“CaUsE i SaY sO”. You imite him with a girly and sharp voice.

“It's fuckin' fun that you didn't notice yet, muchachita”.

“Notice what? You have the emotions of a lettuce”. You chuckle rolling your eyes.

“I like you. And my favourite part of the day is when I'm annoying you”. He can't avoid his laugh, raising his gaze to you, smiling like an idiot.

“So... you're like those children that pull the girl's hair, 'cause they like them, uh?”

“More or less, yea'”.

“You could be one of those whom gives kisses, instead of the others one”. He raise an eyebrow, with the pain of your hand in the background.

Tranq leans towards you, pressing your lips with his in a soft way. He has one of his big hands on your neck, with the thumb caressing your cheek wanting to make you feel better. But you are whenever he is around you.

“You taste so good, mami...” He says in a whisper against your lips.

“Look, I have leveled up. From ‘muchachita’ to ‘mami’”. You joke grabbing your nails softly on his nape, enjoying the closeness between both.

“Yea' and sounds like I'm gonna have to cook for you the next days”.

“Sounds like I'm gonna have to stay in your house”.

“Sounds fucking good... And if you're gonna wear my shirts... sounds so much better”.

“I'm gonna annoy you the rest of your life. How does that sound, papi?”

He starts to laugh, kissing you again being closer with his arms wrapping your waist.

#mayans mc #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc x reader #mayans x reader #hank tranq loza x reader #tranq loza x reader #promptsehmtd #tranq losa x reader

[neerasrealm]

Oh no your story is to good now I want a pt 3 laughing jack x reader (;_;) Is it ok to ask for more? If not, why not a Slen x LJ secreat relationship? since I saw you made a post about it

I’m glad you liked the story so much! Unfortunately at the time I couldn’t think of anything for a part 3, but I COULD think of plenty of stuff for a secret relationship au so...here you go. consider this a part one of a series that I’ll work on when y’all give me the time

also a couple things I wanna clarify; one, this takes place in the late 1800s - early 1900s, and two, LJ is a fallen angel in this story, but in my regular hcs he’s a regular angel- just- didn’t want people to think that shfgsha.

Slender awoke feeling groggy and stiff. His head ached and there was a rotten taste in his mouth. He groaned gently and blinked in the morning light streaming in through the window. He slowly looked around. He was in an unfamiliar room, with pastel orange walls that were covered in sheets of paper that had crude pencil and crayon drawings all over them. There were toys scattered around haphazardly along with balloons and paper garlands. The room looked...childish. But the furniture was ornate, and fit the room like it had always been there.

However, Slender’s attention wasn’t on the room for long, because he quickly realised he wasn’t alone in the unfamiliar bed. His arms were wrapped around someone big and soft. Their body was thick, and their arms were wound tightly around his own thin, frail body. Slender couldn’t see their face, but it was definitely pressed into his chest. He couldn’t see much of them below wispy black hair, but it was certainly enough for Slender to tell two things. One, they were a stranger, and two, however he had gotten here had involved something removing his suit jacket and unbuttoning his shirt, followed by the two of them curled up together in bed, hugging each other tight.

Panic set into Slender quicker than you could say ‘’good morning’’. As Slender lay there trying not to hyperventilate his mind raced and scrambled to remember anything leading up to him getting here. The night before- what had happened? He remembered yesterday clearly enough. His father had spent the whole day pestering him about his future wedding, which meant Slender hadn’t a single moment to rest and relax. So after dinner, he snuck out and down to earth. He soon found himself in France, and later, a bar. And that’s when things got blurry.

Oh his family was going to be so angry-! He was supposed to be the responsible one! He never broke any rules, he didn’t just- get drunk! He didn’t run off in the night and end up shirtless in beds with people he didn’t know! He was enga- well technically he wasn’t, the marriage wasn’t properly arranged yet, but still! This wasn’t him! Oh he was going to be in so much trouble…

As he was trying to figure out how to get out of this situation without having a panic attack, the person on top of him shifted. He froze, his blood running cold. ‘’Please don’t wake up please don’t wake up please do-’’

‘’Mmmnnghh…’’ the person shifted, their arms uncurling from around him. One of their hands instead lay atop Slender’s bare- er- breast, and leaned against it for support as they sat up. Slender’s face flushed an extremely dark grey. The person shook their head, messy black hair falling around their face, obscuring it. Slender could see them better now. Their sleeves were striped black and white, and they wore a short grey shirt. One of their shoulders had a feathered shoulder pad on it. The second one for their other shoulder was probably on the bedroom floor somewhere, along with Slender’s jacket. ‘’Ungh.’’ they grunted. Slender stayed still as he could just waiting for the moment the other person realised their situation. It was definitely far worse for them than it was for him. Slender only had to worry about his family being angry at him. This person had to wake up in bed with a faceless monster. ‘’H-hah?’’ yep. They had definitely realised. That noise of confusion was all the confirmation Slender needed.

They slowly looked up, their eyes trailing up Slender’s thin, white body. Their head raised and stared at Slender in shock and confusion. Their face was white, just like him- but they had a face- and a pretty one at that. They had thin, black brows, and lips that were covered in smudged black lipstick. Their nose was- shaped- like a cone and it was striped just like their sleeves. Black and white. But their eyes...oh gods their eyes. They were big and round, and the colour of ice. Their eyes were bright and innocent looking in their haze of confusion. Slender blushed harder. Great, he was in bed with someone attractive.

"...w-who th' fock are ye?" The very attractive stranger asked. Slender's brows raised in surprise. Their voice was deep and gravelly, and they had the thickest accent he had ever heard. 

"I-" Slender's brain was completely fried. Whether it was from panic, the hangover or total fear induced by this attractive stranger with an intimidating voice, he wasn't sure. "My- My name is Slender." He finally stammered out. "I-I'm so sorry about all of this I don't usually-" he was cut off by the other person shifting and instead sitting on top of Slender, effectively straddling him. Oh. Oh he didn't like this position at all.

"I'm Jack," the attractive stranger grunted, rubbing at his head with a bandaged black hand. "Ow'd we ge' 'ere…?"

"I um- I'm not sure…" Slender murmured. Jack...he remembered that name. "We- met at a bar last night, I think I recall you sitting next to me. I- don't remember much besides that I'm afraid…" Slender looked Jack over now that he could see him better. His hands were bony and black, wrapped in bandages. His torso was also wrapped up for some odd, unknown reason. He wore a short grey shirt that really only covered his chest, suspenders that were striped various shades of black, white and grey, and shorts. Shorts! His pants were still on thank the gods! "Is er- is this...your room…?"

"Yeh, yeh tis." Jack nodded as he squinted at the window. He reached over and pulled the curtains shut, muttering something about how it was too early to be awake. He looked back at Slender. "So we me' a' a pub?"

"Yes." Slender nodded. He paused before asking the next question. "Why...why aren't you um- f-freaking out?" He tilted his head. "You do realize I'm...not human…?"

"Tha' wuz g'nna be me next quest'on." Jack looked up at him. "Ye're bluddy 'orrifyin' bu' I didn' wanna say anyfin'. Tha'd be rude."

Oh. How polite. Slender coughed, clearing his throat. "I- well it's a little...difficult, to explain, but erm-" he hesitated. "I'm a- well I'm a fae- well partially, I'm fae on one side and then my father is of angelic nature so-"

"Ye're an angel?!" Jack cut in. Slender recoiled in surprise and gave a meek nod. Jack grinned. "I am too! Fockin' 'ell, after Jill I though' I wouldn' find another 'ne, bu' 'ere ye are!" He looked thrilled now, seemingly forgetting all the negatives of the situation.

"...no you aren't." Slender looked Jack over. Looking at him now, it was easy to see he wasn't actually human. His proportions were too off for that. He certainly had the makings of an angel, the eyes of one and the friendly tone of voice, but there was too much throwing it off. His black and white colour scheme, his bony black hands that were tipped with claws, and his teeth...looking at them now, they were sharp. Dangerous. "I think it's more accurate to say you're a fal-"

"I'm no' fallen!" Jack interrupted him. His friendly demeanor was gone now, replaced with an angry glare. "Sure I've lost me colours an' I'm no' th' 'oliest bloke around, bu' yes're 'ardly perfect yerselves, now are ya?" He snapped. Slender recoiled defensively. "I'm an angel. Always wuz an' always will be."

"Okay, okay." Slender replied quickly. He didn't want to get on Jack's bad side. Fallen angels were known for three things. Their lack of colours, their cunning intelligence, and their anger. Thinking about it now…could it be that Jack had known he was an angel last night…? Had he sensed it and targeted him?

"Well er-" Jack broke him out of his thoughts. He had seemingly calmed down a bit. Slender looked at him. "Can I offer ye breakfas'?"

"I- well I don't think I should, I should really...get home…" Slender glanced aside. Home...god his family was going to kill him.

"Ah c'mon, i's still early!" Jack reached down and grabbed Slender's hand. "c'mon, ye're in Paris! Nobody does breakfas' like th' french!" 

Before Slender could protest, Jack hopped off the bed and tugged his new faceless friend up off of it. He grinned. His free arm stretched out, grabbing Slender's jacket from where it had been dropped on the floor. Slender watched the clown's arm in fascination. It could extend and curl as if he had no bones at all. 

"Ere ye go!" Jack handed Slender his jacket, then grabbed his own missing clothes from the floor. "Th' bathroom's across th' 'all. I recommen' cleanin' yerself up." He added before shrugging on his shoulder pad and cheerfully striding out of the room with his shoes under his arm. 

Slender sighed and fixed his clothes, buttoning up his shirt and slipping on his jacket. He left the room and found himself in a cherry red hall. The walls were again decorated with well- anything. Mostly paintings. He opened the door across from him and found it led to a bright blue bathroom. Jack was certainly fond of his colourful walls. It was a cramped room, decorated with a nautical theme. Toward the back of the room was a bath with a shower head. Slender squinted for a moment. The bath had an absurd amount of children's toys in it, and on the shelf in the corner he could see a bottle of...fabric softener. No soap just fabric softener. Did Jack wash himself with fabric softener???

This entire place was messy and unkempt. Did Jack ever clean? At least it meant one thing. Jack most certainly wasn't Slender's type, and this whole thing wouldn't go further than one drunken night and a hungover breakfast. He turned his attention from the decor, to the mirror.

Oh. Oh lord. His face and what he could see of his neck was covered in smudged black lipstick. The same smudged black lipstick that had been on Jack earlier. His face flushed such a dark colour it was practically black. 

"There y'are! I almos' bluddy fell asleep 'ere!" Jack exclaimed as Slender, now lipstick-free, walked into the pink living room. Slender frowned, looking Jack over.

"You're...wearing the same clothes?"

"Yeh." Jack looked down at himself. "Somefink wrong wiv em?"

"Well I thought you'd- I don't know, change? Don't they smell bad?"

Jack shrugged. "They smell like me, an' I don' swea' so…" he looked aside. "I changed me shoes though!" He stuck out his leg to show Slender the long black boots he was wearing. They had pointed toes, raised heels and showed off how slim and long Jack's legs were. Slender blushed. 

"...I see."

Jack stood up off the couch and looked at Slender, swinging his arms and smiling. "Ya ready?"

Slender sighed. ‘’I suppose…’’

While Jack had his back turned, Slender shifted into his human form, then followed after him. Jack paused, looking him over once he realised Slender had changed. His human form was tall, and extremely pale, with blonde, nearly white hair. He looked up at Jack with small, brown eyes. Jack blinked.

‘’...Slen?’’

‘’Yes?’’

‘’...ye changed.’’

Slender looked unamused. ‘’It’s called blending in. We’re among humans?’’

‘’Oh. Righ’.’’ Jack looked at him, then closed the door to his apartment, not bothering to lock it. He walked past Slender and down the stairs. ‘’Ye comin’?’’

Slender followed after him, frowning. ‘’What about your disguise?’’

‘’Don’t ‘ave one.’’ 

‘’You don’t?’’

‘’Nah. I can’t do any ‘f tha’ shapeshiftin’ stuff,’’ he shrugged. ‘’I jus’ tell every’ne I’m a mime an’ they believe me.’’

Slender nodded slowly. Huh. That was...surprisingly smart. The two of them stepped out of the building and Slender looked around. The area around them was run down, dirty, a slum. Slender looked around. ‘’You live here…?’’

‘’Yep.’’ Jack walked along, not a worry in the world. ‘’Livin’ is cheap over ‘ere.’’

‘’You left your front door open- in an area like this?’’ Slender tilted his head. Jack shrugged.

‘’If some’ne needs somewhere warm ta stay they can jus’ slip in, an’ i’s no’ like I ‘ave anyfink worth stealin’. Nofink I can’t jus’ replace a’ least.’’

‘’That’s…’’ Slender blinked. ‘’That’s...really kind…’’ 

Jack smiled a bit and glanced at him. ‘’Eh, I’s th’ least I can do.’’ he murmured. ‘’Lo’a folks are ou’ on their own, ‘ungry an’ cold. If I can give ‘em somewhere safe ta stay fer a li’le bi’, I’m ‘appy ta do i’.’’

As they walked, Slender listened with interest as Jack shared his stories of guests he’d had in his small apartment and friends he’d made from just calmly talking with those that often went ignored. It was fascinating to Slender, how Jack seemed to just emit an air of relaxation and cheer. How someone could just- start a conversation with a stranger, how he could consider so many people his friends and how he just gave them all he had merely because he felt it was more important they had it than him. There was something about Jack that Slender just...couldn’t explain. Something drew him in and made him feel...different, from how he felt at home. Being with Jack was unlike anything else he knew.

‘’Ere we are, china pla’e!’’ Jack exclaimed, running ahead of Slender. He hopped into the air and landed on the base of a streetlamp, hanging onto it with one hand as he leaned off of it. He laughed as Slender ran to catch up to him. He stood up and turned around, looking behind him. ‘’See tha’?’’

Slender looked up. In front of them was a busier, more built up street, bordering a massive canal. Up in the distance, Slender could see the Eiffel Tower, looming over everything. Jack turned and grinned down at him.

‘’I know th’ bes’ bluddy place by th’ river, ye’re g’nna love i’.’’ he hopped back down onto the ground and started walking again. "C'mon!"

Slender followed Jack to a small bakery on a street corner. Though it looked small, and not that wealthy, the smell coming from it was heavenly. He paused for a moment, admiring how quaint the little place was, before following Jack inside.

"Bonjour madame! Comment ça va?" Jack greeted the owner in a very bad french accent. She did not look pleased to see him.

"Bonjour Jack. Petit dejeuner?" She asked tiredly. Jack nodded.

"Oui, merci." Jack turned and smiled at Slender. "I come 'ere all th' time. Real good place."

"Mmm," Slender looked around. "Your french is terrible."

"Oi!" Jack glared down at him. "Rude!"

"I'm just saying."

"Well- I'd like ta see you do be'er! Ye 'aven't spoken a lick 'f french since ye woke up!"

Slender gave him an unamused look, then turned to the owner. "Madame," she turned to look at him.  "Je voudrais dire que c'est un endroit charmant et que votre nourriture sent délicieuse."

The owner blinked in surprise, then smiled. "Merci monseuir!" She chirped. "Puis-je vous offrir quelque chose?"

"Non, non. Jack est paie pour moi." Slender shook his head. He looked up at Jack and smiled smugly. "How was that?"

"...Oh fock off ye cheeky codger."

Slender snorted, then broke into a fit of laughter. He had no idea why that was so funny to him, but when he heard Jack chuckling along beside him, it made him grin even wider.

"Monsieur, ton petit dejeuner." The two of them were interrupted by the owner putting a small white box and two coffees onto the counter. Jack grinned and took them, handing the owner some francs before turning and walking toward the door.

"C'mon, Slen."

Slender smiled and followed after Jack. He tilted his head. "Aren't angels supposed to be good at languages?" He asked with a sly smile.

"I am good a' languages! I's jus' speakin' em tha's 'ard." Jack replied defensively.

"Ah. So that's why your english is so bad too."

"Oi!" Jack turned and glared at him. "I'm a born and bred englishmun, excuse you!"

Slender laughed. "Sorry, sorry." He murmured. The two of them crossed the street and walked along the canal. Jack led him to a bench and the two of them sat down. The morning sun was warm. Bright and welcoming. Jack set the box between the two of them and sipped his coffee. Slender looked out at the large river in front of them. "Wow…" he murmured. "...it's beautiful."

"It is, innit?" Jack smiled. "I luv ea'in' 'ere. I's so peaceful." He opened the box and revealed it was full of pastries. Croissants, pain au chocolats, madalines, eclairs and more. Slender stared in surprise. The smell coming from the small box was heavenly. His stomach growled. 

"Go on, ea' up. Ye're a stick." Jack said through a mouthful of croissant. Slender smiled a bit and daintily grabbed a pain au chocolat, taking a small bite. The taste was heavenly and sweet. He hummed happily. Jack watched him and smiled, pleased. "Been a while since I a'e wiv some'ne." He murmured. He looked back at the river. "Much less some'ne I'm after sleepin' wiv."

Slender coughed loudly, choking on his breakfast. Jack reached over and lightly smacked his back. Slender coughed and looked over at Jack, blushing a dark red. Jack tilted his head.

"Ye okay…?"

"Y-Yes just-" Slender glanced away. "I...almost forgot about how we met."

Jack laughed. "Almost?! I can't remember a single fing from last night!" He exclaimed. "Well- act'ally…" he paused for a second. "I do remember one fing."

"Hm?" Slender looked at him.

"Ye're a bluddy good kisser."

Slender made a feeble squeaking noise and quickly looked away. Jack laughed quietly at how hard he was blushing. The hand that had been patting Slender's back reached over and squeezed his shoulder. ‘’Eh, relax china pla’e…’’ Jack tilted his head and cocked a brow, smiling.

‘’Don’t get the wrong idea,’’ Slender muttered. ‘’I’m- not available.’’

Jack retracted his hand and looked at Slender in surprise. ‘’Ye- ye’re da’in’ some’ne?’’

‘’Well- no not- not exactly.’’ Slender fidgeted nervously. ‘’I’m- supposed to get married soon. My parents want me to. They’re going to...arrange it. I’m not technically engaged yet.’’

‘’Ohhh….’’ Jack nodded in understanding. ‘’So- ye are available.’’

Slender looked at Jack, blinking in surprise. Did- did he really just- Slender looked away quickly to hide his blush. ‘’Technically yes b-but-’’ he gulped. ‘’This- this is a once off! We hardly know each other.’’

‘’Then…’ow abou’ we ge’ ta know each o’her.’’ Jack scooted closer and rested his hand on Slender’s. He gave him a friendly smile. ‘’No kissin’, no da’in’, jus’ us bein’ buds.’’

Slender paused. ‘’...buds?’’

Jack nodded. ‘’Yeh! Me an’ you. Pals.’’

Slender paused for a moment. Jack’s smile widened. His eyes were big, kind, welcoming. They were innocent, friendly. Like all he wanted from Slender was just his company. He glanced away before he could get sucked into them. 

‘’Well I...suppose a quick walk to the Eiffel Tower after breakfast wouldn’t hurt.’’

#ask #anon #slenjack #creepypasta #creepypasta fanfic #creepypasta fanfiction #slenderman #laughing jack #writing #anonymous

[silke-doomflare]

A fateful encounter

Valentione’s day had always been one of Lareine’s favorite festivals, but this year she was somewhat disappointed. After a long, loud argument from both sides, Varg had let her drop her duties at the manor and travel to Gridania. Lareine had asked Varg to join her, but he had stated most of festivals to be just claptrap and waste of time. Lareine had asked Arsene too, but he had politely declined and also mentioned something about jobs undone.

She had never, ever seen either of them having fun! Did they even, ever? If not, how it was even possible? Lareine was certain if one didn’t party hard time to time, they’d eventually get sick from too much work or go crazy without themselves even noticing. She would definitely need some help in softening them, she thought. It took way too much time to do alone.

It was already getting late, but it didn’t slow down the celebrators. Colorful fireworks dappled the black sky and lanterns were kindled. Some of them were sent flying and some sailing. Every place was full of beautiful colors, delicious food and good music.

Most of Lareine’s money had gone to airship tickets, but she still had a couple of gil left. She ended up buying a stick with cotton candy on it from one of the stalls. Where would she get money from to get back to Ishgard? No point worrying about it now. Time to party! She wouldn’t let some stiff old men ruin her fun.

Lareine was wandering around the faire, watching people come and go. Everyone else had someone with them. People had either come there with their spouses, dates, family or friends. She seemed to be the only one by herself.

Like cherry on the top of her jealousy was the damned love labyrinth. People who entered had to go through the labyrinth without straying too far from each other, while dodging moogle traps. When they got through, their names were announced to the cheering crowd nearby, and they also got cute prizes to take home: heart shaped cakes, cookies, pink ribbons, plushies… Gods damn it, what Lareine wouldn’t have given for a pink mammet toy with a heart shaped tuft on her night desk?

Suddenly Lareine bumped into something - or someone, she thought to herself, when she heard another surprised, high-pitched cry in addition to her own. She was too slow to grab a better hold of her pink cotton candy, and she could almost see the horrendous situation in slow motion, as her precious delicacy fell towards the sandy, partly muddy ground. There was a soft thud, and she noticed strawberry soft ice with marshmallows in it, laying at her feet next to her cotton candy. Shocked, Lareine lifted her gaze from the ground to in front of her, and was staring into huge, turquoise eyes framed by ash black, messy hair and round eyeglasses. The otherwise cute, bookwormish appearance didn’t fit at all with long, black, high-heeled thighboots and detailed, pompous looking robe usually worn by archmages. The female viera didn’t seem many years younger than Lareine was. “How dare you?! Look what you did!” she screamed, pointing at Lareine with a pale, petite hand with long, black claws and pretentious, huge ring in its index finger. “Watch where you’re walking!” Lareine inhaled deeply. “Get a new fockin’ pair o’ glasses, four-eyes, and watch where yer goin’! Tha heck ya doin’ ‘ere alone aniway??” she cried loudly with as unattractive voice as she possibly could whatever happened to pop up into her mind. “Yer boyfriend left ya, because yer a such a clumsy fockin’ shite? Ya lost ‘im into da heckin’ labyrinth, ya blind excuse for a friggin’ ‘little miss moonshine?!” They both fell silent for a moment, during which the viera’s facial expressions shifted very fast. First she looked aghast, then furious, then suddenly, distinctively accidentally jubilant, and finally annoyed for letting herself slip. They both burst into hysterical laughter at the same time. Lareine wasn’t even sure what they were laughing at, but she guessed eventually they were just laughing at each other laughing. Finally the viera managed to gather her self control enough to stop giggling and wiped a tear from her eye. Some passers by were eyeing at them disapprovingly, but she didn’t seem to care. “Oh gods…”, she blurted and briefly examined her clothing, probably making sure there was no ice-cream in it. “You sound like a vulture.” Lareine opened her mouth and was very close to start yelling again, but then the viera added, grinning kindly: “They’re my favorite birds.” Lareine closed her mouth, while the viera took a step closer and offered her hand. “Silke Doomflare”, she introduced herself, trying to sound formal, but her huge, beautiful doe eyes and extravagant make-up watered it down quite effectively. They shook hands. “I’m so, so sorry about my outburst”, Silke started to explain, while shaking Lareine’s hand very rapidly. “You know, I’ve had the absolute, worst day ever… actually the worst week ever and this was my first chance in ages to have some fun, and then…” She shook her head. “But you’re absolutely right. I should’ve watched where I’m going. And I mean, pff, it’s just ice-cream”, she made a dismissive gesture with her other hand. “I can just buy a new one.” Finally Silke noticed she had forgotten they were still holding hands, and she quickly yanked it away like she had just gotten electrocuted. Lareine blinked at the fuzzing viera in front of her. A weird sensation washed over her. Was it the suddenly died outburst? Or the huge, pretty doe eyes behind those round glasses? Or this weird girl holding her hand? Lareine had not felt like this since… “N… No, I should ‘ave watched where I go”, Lareine confessed. “I was lost in mi  thoughts. It’s been friggin’ ages since my last visit to any public happenin’. Name’s Ir... Uhh... Lareine, by tha way. Lareine Kira.” The name brought a sour taste on the viera’s tongue, but what could she do? Better safe than sorry.

Would it have been inappropriate to shake hands again? Lareine scolded herself for even thinking about it.

“I dink I spent mi last gil onto dat friggin’ sweet, but whutever”, she continued. “I’m gettin’ an overdose o’ sugar o’ dese decorations and lovebirds all over da place anyway.” Lareine put her hands behind her back and shifted her weight from one foot to another. “So.. DID ya lose yer boyfriendo into da friggin’ maze?” Silke stared at Lareine in disbelief, blinked her eyes for a few times and then gave an incredulous laugh. “Honey, please”, she said, while making the dismissive gesture with her hand again. “I’m way too busy with my magick studies to waste my precious time on boys. Besides, they mostly just manage to annoy me. You know, most of them I’ve met…”, she lowered her voice into a whisper. “…have their brain down there.” She pointed somewhere towards the ground. “And I really enjoy the old-fashioned, functioning brain more than -” Suddenly she closed her mouth so quickly Lareine could hear a faint snap. “Oh gods, I sound like a zombie!” Lareine could almost see into Silke’s head, how it was cramped full of old, dusty bookshelves. Silke wasn’t quite sure where things were stored, and when she tried to take something from the dangerously swaying pile, a bunch of others also fell out. “I’ve been holding you back for a good while already, Lareine”, Silke noted finally, interrupting Lareine’s thoughts. “Allow me at least to buy a new cotton candy for you before I go.” “N-no need”, Lareine exclaimed, shaking her head and lifting her hands in front of her. “Like I said, I already ‘ad an overdose o’ -” “Then allow me to give you money for something else you’d like -”, Silke was digging something up from her pocket. “N-no, I don’t wanna -”, Lareine tried to deter. “Take the damn money or I’ll throw it into the nearest lake!” Silke hissed, gently grabbed Lareine’s wrist and dropped a bunch of gil on her palm. The coins were so shiny they looked like brand new. The mage bowed politely and was about to turn to leave. “Actually..!” Lareine cried out. “Ya haven’t been ‘olding mi back, Silke. Quite the contrary! Tha main reason I was on such a bad mood was because I ‘ad to come ‘ere all alone. Tha only two I asked to come wid mi are soo fockin’ busy all tha time, damn married with deir works dey are…” Silke blinked again, looking surprised. Then she laughed. “Are you kidding me? I could’ve said that.” Lareine looked at her curiously, while she continued: “I also asked my sister to come with me here, and she, too, declined - surprise, surprise: because of work! So I came alone.”

They stared at each other for a moment. “Well, if ya insist -”, Lareine started and slipped the coins into her pocket. “Well, if I’m not disturbing -”, Silke started at the same time. They both fell silent, waiting for the other one to say their thing first. A stubborn smile tried to creep its way on Silke’s face. “Show me where the damn cotton candy shop is”, she ordered grandiloquently, while pointing randomly somewhere towards the crowd. “We go there first. And then we go to the ice-cream shop. And after that… hmm, do you happen to like games?”

#final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #viera #silke doomflare #iris ymir #stories

[onlyfangz]

Due to the new Pokemon game

Since Scottish people and culture seems to be coming into the spotlight recently, here’s a few things you should know (Alternative title: Facts About Scotland):

- We are “Scots”, with one ‘t’, not two, and we’re definitely not “Scotch”, which is considered rude to call someone in most parts, and in others are considered a slur. Scotch refers to Scottish products. See: Scotch Wiskey, Scotch Tablet, etc., Singular is “Scot”. So, “He is a Scot.”

- You don’t need to tell us that you don’t understand our language. It’d be like if I saw a post wrote in Italian and I said, “Lol what does this say”. Like obviously, I don’t speak Italian, no need to comment on it.

- You also don’t need to tell us that you do understand our language. Again, it’d be like me reading a post in German (let’s pretend I can speak more than a few words in German for a sec) and I said, “Oh wow! I understand this!” 

- Don’t try and write or speak in our language. Chances are no-one will have any clue of what you’re talking about.

- We don’t say “fockin”. Nobody says fockin.

- Or “fookin”.

- It’s just fucking. Fuckin’ if you must.

- Scots has a lot of intricate rules. Sometimes two words or variations means the same thing, but can only be used in certain contexts. “Ye” and “Ya” mean “You”, but where “Ye cannae dae that, ya dobberhied,” makes sense, “Ya cannae dae that, ye dobberhied” does not.

- We are not brash, rude, crass, uncivilized, barbaric, constantly drunk, angry, unintelligent, etc.,

- Yes we do have TV, it was a Scottish person who invented it.

- In fact, you’ve got Scottish people to thank for for: pedal bikes, the pneumatic tyre, the steam engine, penicillin, the pemalis wave energy converter, the hot blast oven, hollow pipe drainage, the telephone, postage stamps, postcards, universal time, the first ever english book on surgery, sherlock holmes, peter pan, modern economics, modern sociology, hypnotism, modern geology, the discovery of saturn’s rings, the decimal point, the Gregorian telescope, the discoveries of the properties of carbon dioxide, the pyroscope, identifying the nucleus in cells, the ground work for the incandescent lightbulb (thought thomas edison did that on his own, did you?), criminal fingerprinting, the very first cloned mammal, the world’s first tractor beam, the shot put, the hammer throw, curling, ice hockey, the saline drip, the hypodermic syringe, understanding transplant rejection, using the ultrasound to diagnose, identifying the mosquito as the carrier of malaria, the typhoid vaccine, discovering insulin, the HPV vaccine, fire engines, the discovery of TB treatment, the development of beta-blocker drugs, the glasgow coma scale, the glasgow anxiety scale, the glasgow depression scale, the fridge, the toaster, flushing toilets, the waterproof macintosh jackets, the kaleidoscope, the lawnmower, the electric clock, the bank of england and france, the game grand theft auto, forbes magazine, the new york herald, and paintball.

- So the question isn’t does Scotland have (x), it’s do you?

- Glasgow is pronounced “Glass-go” or “Glaz-go”, not “Glass-cow”.

- Edinburgh is pronounced “Ed-in-bruh”.

- Loch is pronounced with a soft “ck” noise, not with a hard “ck.” (It’s not “Lock”.)

- No I haven’t seen the Loch Ness Monster, I don’t even live near Loch Ness.

- Nessie isn’t the only Loch Monster. She has a sister, Morag.

- Now for a round of “Is it true?”

- “Does Scotland hate England?” A lot of us do, some of us don’t.

- “Does Scotland hate Ireland?” A lot of us don’t. I haven’t met anyone who does.

- “Are Scotland and Ireland the same?” No.

- “Do Scottish people type in their accents?” No, we type in our language.

- “Does Haggis taste good?” Depends who you ask. My personal answer - yes, I like it. Chances are you won’t.

- “Is Haggis made out of sheep guts?” No. It’s made out of sheep liver, heart, and lungs. It’s not disgusting, it’s just animal product and you need to chill out about it.

- “Are Celts Scottish?” Celts are Scottish, and also Irish, Welsh, Cornish, Breton, and Manx.

- Celtic and Celtic are two different things in Scotland. One has a hard “Ck” noise at the beginning of it, but the other has a “S” noise (Sell-tic). K-ell-tic refers to people, Sell-tic refers to a football club.

- Not all of Scotland is rough. A lot of it is actually quite nice.

- The Highlands are not mystical. It’s nice scenery if you like a bunch of mountains, but there’s not much going on up there.

- If someone is the King/Queen of Scotland, it means that they’re King/Queen of the land, but if someone is the King/Queen of Scots, it means they’re King/Queen of Scottish People. It’s a very hard distinction, and the reason why you’ll hear “Mary, Queen of Scots”, “Robert The Bruce, King of Scots”, but not “Queen Elizabeth II, Queen of Scots”.

- A lot of people don’t like the monarchy, so don’t ask us if we’ve ever had tea with the Queen or whatever you like to ask.

- Even though we’re working on it, we are still British. So if a Scottish person tells you they’re British they know what they’re talking about and do not need you to “correct” them. Britain refers to the four nations: Scotland, England, Wales, and N. Ireland.

- Britain has no culture. You’re thinking of English culture.

- There is a British accent. 43 of them to be exact. None of them are more British than the other.

- The North of England gets treated as badly as all of Scotland by the South of England.

- Scotland did not vote for Brexit, but if all of Scotland voted against something, and all of London voted for something, London would win by an estimated 3 million margin. (And that’s off population alone, numbers would vary due to voter eligibility.)

- Scotland is heavily liberal, with free college, free health care, is the only country in the world to give free sanitary products in schools and other public places, and is the only country in the world where LGBTI+ education is mandatory and part of the curriculum. (Other countries do give LGBTI+ education, but in no country is it mandatory.)

- In conclusion: don’t be an asshole.

#scotland #scottish #scottish facts #pokemon

[haikyupid]

how could i not participate tri~ you already know me hehe. my fav cartoon character HAS to be Bill from Gravity Falls. I liked iced coffee {white mocha, no classic, sweet cream}. What do I wanna tell Oikawa... hm... "You might be stupid, annoying, flat, and dumb.... but I have unfortunately fallen for you and I guess I'll miss you... not that you should get the wrong idea or anything." Heh. Happy birthday x a million love! Love our talks~

tooru and tri: minty the tsundy is now your nickname, periodt. stay having that main character vibes, bby 😗✌️ and we both love you, but chu already knew that.

— [ ♡ ] I match you up with . . .

≺ sjdjsksns bro, i was expecting to pair you up with someone else, but you just keep screaming ‘suga fockin wara’ at me; legit this request’s got me thinking of him again... smh

≺ you two are the couple who seem bland at first on the outside (don’t unfriend me ‘cause of this, mint), but the people who know you two know that that’s far from the truth; your relationship basically feels like a sugar rush mixed with coke at the same time

≺ he also has an evil-ish side to him, so expect lots of teasing and attempts to make you blush profusely— oof, but you’re also a tease, right? lmao, this gonna be the battle of teases of the decade 😗✌️

≺ the first time he told you that he’ll catch up to you at the new cafe you two were supposed to visit, you got so confused because you two were literally headed your way there already... turns out he just wanted to buy you a small bouquet of flowers! why? who knows, really; but now it’s his tradition to give you different bouquets every time you two visit a new coffee shop

≺ winks and flying kisses always being targeted towards each other all the time, especially when you two are across from each other in a room (it’s kinda cute... but also kinda disgostan y’know? like get a room 😔✊ sincerely, the TT club, tobio and tri)

≺ every time, and i mean every time he kisses you, he snakes his arm around your waist and pulls you in oh-so gently before flashing you the most beautiful smile— then kith kith (you can feel him smile, too)

— [ ❝ you say that, but we both know that you love me just as much as i love you. ❞ ]

Min, thank you for participating 🥺 idk why you did bcause my writings compared to yours are so trash and uh— basically thank you, hehe *debby ryan face*

To participate in the Oikawa and Kyupid’s Birthday-Bash Love Event, click here!

#🎉 ; events ; oikyupid’s bday bash 200720 #happy birthday oikawa #hq matchups #haikyuu matchups #haikyuu sugawara #sugawara koushi #haikyuu #hq #hq requests #haikyuu requests #200720

[iris-ymir]

Interview- Lareine

► Name ➔  “Lareine Kira... So they say.. Yessss.”

► Are you single ➔ "Oh, no! Me and my knight are getting married! Yess.. He.. loves me.. very.. Uhhh..”, for a moment she looks like drifting off. “Technically? Yes. But I do have a gal I fancy, so.. Im kinda off the market!”

► Are you happy ➔   “I.. guess so! Yesss...Thats kind of.. a weird ass question, you know?”

► Are you angry? ➔   “No? I... actually get angry very rarely! ...She’s getting angry though... I dont like it... Nono..”, she nibbles nervously on her braid.

► Are your parents still married ➔  “...To mi knowing, they never were..”

NINE FACTS

► Birth Place ➔ “Uhhh.. Somewhere on Skatay Range... I have no memory of it.. A village named Ymir they say...”

► Hair Color ➔ “Its black! With purple highlights..”

► Eye Color ➔ “Actually, they are lilac, but tend to look much darker most of time.. Dunno why though.”

► Birthday ➔  “13th Sun of the 4th Umbral Moon. Yesss...”

► Mood ➔   “Uhhhh... Confused I guess?”

► Gender ➔  “Female... Excuse mi, but are ya blind?”, she tilts her head swiftly, long ears jerking with the movement.

► Summer or winter ➔ “Summer! Yess.. I like winter too, but.. its cold, and... snow goes to places...”

► Morning or afternoon ➔ “This... got to be afternoon! ... Thats when I usually wake up... Yesss... Not a morning person.. Nono.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

► Are you in love ➔ “Ohh yessss! Very... much so!”

► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ “Absolutely! My Varg-Varg... Umm... My...”, Lareine rubs her temple, and for a moment it looks like she’s falling asleep. “... Enough of your fockin’ lunacy, you mindless shrimp! ... No, not really. A crush at first sight? Yes. Love? No.”

► Who ended your last relationship ➔ “Her husband...”

► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔  “I guess so..”

► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ “Next one!”

► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ “Yes, I hugged Silke in a theatre some days ago... One smooth move that was...”, she rolls her eyes.

► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ “Not to mi knowing, but thats kind of the point, huh...?”

► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ “She broke mi heart.. Her husband broke mi.. lot of other organs...”

SIX CHOICES

► Love or lust ➔ “... Uhh.. Can I... have a bit of both? No? ... Okai, uhh... I guess love it is then! ...Love... Love is good, yessss...”

► Lemonade or iced tea ➔ “Why such a hard questions?! ... Ummm.. Le...monade? I guess... Oh, please, please, be quiet... Im trying to think hard...”, she closes her eyes tightly, shaking her head. “... You make me sick.. Iced tea, by tha way.”

► Cats or Dogs ➔ “I like both. But Silke got this shit adorable puppy, so I will say dogs.”

► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ “Few best friends for sure.. I find it hard to.. maintain relationships? People come and go.”

► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ “Wild night out. Just sitting in a candlelight, staring eachother into eyes sounds awfully boring. ...Wild night out might also lead to romantic night in, ya know?”, she winks impishly.

► Day or night ➔ “Night. Definetely.”

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

► Been caught sneaking out ➔ “Sadly, yes. I tried to run from the hospital. Got caught, and strapped into bed. Talking about success.”

► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ “... Now how do you fall up the stairs anyway? When you fall, you go down.”

► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ “Absolutely. Still do. Next question...”

► Wanted to disappear ➔ “That could have been handy in several occasions, so yes. Very much so.”

FOUR PREFERENCES

► Smile or eyes ➔ “I like eyes.”

► Shorter or Taller ➔ “It does not matter. As long as the height difference is not huge. But to pick one? Shorter I guess.”

► Intelligence or Attraction ➔  “Can I just say both? Because if I cant, you clearly have not met mi Silke yet.”

► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ “Relationship. Im tired of hook-ups. Hook-ups end with misery and punctured lungs.”

FAMILY

► Do you and your family get along ➔  “... Ohh yessss! ... I.. Well, technically I have no memory of my real family, but.. you know.. With mi Varg-Varg and Gramps.. We get along just fine! They love mi... Yesss.. Very much... Im a much lucky gal.. Yesss.”

► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ “I... guess its not as messed up as it once was? ...No. Someone might... see it as messed up though!”

► Have you ever ran away from home ➔ “Kinda...Yesss.”

► Have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ “Oh! Mi Varg-Varg tried to kick mi out once! ... Or was it twice? What comes after twice? T..rice? ... But aniway! I guess he then realized how much he loves mi!”, she bites the tip of her tongue, smiling widely.

FRIENDS

► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ “Why.. would I call them friends if I hated them? Nono.. I... dont hate my friends.. Im trying to keep them.. Its hard time to time.. Yess...”, her ears swoops down.

► Do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ “I... dont know. I guess! ... Those who stay got to be good friend, right?”

► Who is your best friend ➔ “Silke!”

► Who knows everything about you ➔ “No one knows everything about mi... Nono.. To... to be honest, even I dont know everything about miself... I guess Iris knows a lot... Guess she knows everything, but she’s... Nevermind..”

Tagged by three beautiful creatures, @lavender-hemlock @under-the-blood-moonlight & @paleshadeofrose! Thanks a lot! 🌹 Tagging: @umbralich @sakuyamori @kyrie-silverwings​ @vylette-elakha​ @hangedemperor​ (pick Horus or Darkie!) @the-second-circle-ffxiv​ (Silke) @kazexvoss​ @housefortempsknight​ @illia-ast​ @torr-sceadu​ @resistance-ranger​ @violet-warder​ @ra-tykan​ @glorified-thieves​ @rael-eryut​ & YOU!

#Lareine #interview #ic #viera #ffxiv #mateus #crystal rp #long post

[defleurtradingco]

August 3rd-Sleep

Narembeen, Western Australia, Summer of 2016

“OY MY GOD THIS HEAT NEVER FOCKIN’ ENDS DOES ‘ET?!?! ET’S DECEMBER BUT AHM COOKIN’ LIKE A CORNISH HEN!!!” All the windows were blocked, every curtain, every shutter that ever existed in that house was shut. As were the doors. The only thing providing them any sort of cooling whatsoever were the three fans going all at once in the living room.

Mischa and Lune sat side by side on the sofa as Wyatt lay on the floor.

It was night time out there, but the heat had ceased to relent even a little bit. “Aye- feel like ahm gonna have a heatstroke...”

“There’s ice in the fridge.” Lune sat with their laptop, too busy perusing on their lousy internet connection to really move their legs or feet that were practically on the Irishman’s face now.

“I USED ALL TH’ ICE!!!” Mischa sat bundled up in a parka and sweatpants and a scarf, arms around his knees so that he was as small as possible. For him, it was never hot enough. The daylight hours in Australia were livable for him most days, but he still preferred it even hotter. Sitting in the oven usually fulfilled that wish.

“Well-” The changling started then trailed off, glancing around for anything that could cool their wendigo-companion down. He had no idea what would work.

“You could...stick your head in the refrigerator.”

“No way. And let out all the cold air? The food’ll spoil. Namely your beans.” Lune continued typing without even looking up. “Ok nevermind don’t touch the refrigerator.”

“AUGGHH!” “We could watch a movie or something instead.” Lune scooted forward and set their laptop down on the coffee table just in front of them. “That’ll take your mind off it.” “No movie on dis Eart’ could take m’ mind off how much ahm MELTIN’ away down on th’ floor here! Yer uncle’s gonna have a puddle ta clean up in th’ mornin’!!!” “Don’t think I’ve ever had melted wendigo on my floor before.” Mischa watched them go back and forth for a few more lines before looking at the computer screen. He didn’t recognize any of these films. What the hell was a Netflix.

“Ah’d rather try ter sleep this off than stay awake,” Wyatt eventually stood up and meandered into the bathroom to splash water on his sweaty face. Lune shrugged and picked something at random, kicking back after that and letting the movie-whatever-it-was play.

Mischa glanced over in the direction of the bathroom, but did not get up. He was far too warm and comfortable on his side of the sofa. Still, he shivered. “Do you have a blanket,” “Hallway closet.” “Wyatt, get me a blanket.” “YER DAMN DAFT!!!!” Wyatt got him the blanket anyway, and went into the kitchen to stick his head into the freezer.

#AUSTRAILIA SEASONS ARE WEIRD #the august summer

[mandysxmuses]

Yuki has spotted a ship! Without giving a shit about who owns it, he uses his ice to climb on deck. He wants to look around.

“... Good plan, Catnip. Excellent plan. We’ll have Toodles on the fockin’ ropes, that’s fer sure, shipmate.” Schatz paced with the little orange mouse on his shoulder, before suddenly stopping. “Th’ danger is the fun part, ain’t it~? We’ll be riskin’ an iron maiden!! ... OH, OHOHO~ What if we stole it, mate?! What if we stole the maiden from him? He loves that thing! He’d be so pissed! It’d be the ultimate heist!”

A brief pause as he looked at the mouse, which was simply falling asleep on his shoulder.

“What’cha mean? I’ve not called every heist tha’. Don’t be silly. ...”

#M; The Pirate #outcxst-muses

[sientoism]

Leeteuk As Your Boyfriend (SOFT VER.) [FOCUS: ICE CREAM DATES AND MOVIES]

LEETEUK AS YOUR BOYFRIEND ;

🌌 he would LOVE ice cream dates

🌌 he would take a long ass time trying to choose an ice cream flavor

🌌 "i'll get vanilla please."

🌌 "pistachio looks goo— cookies and cream— no way, pURPLE YAM!"

🌌 that actually exists and its a good fuckin flavor alright

🌌 when y'all are done getting ice cream, you would sit somewhere, let's say a setting similar to han river and eat in peace

🌌 for example you get an ice cream stain on your cheek

🌌 there are two options :

🌌 one, he would take a tissue or his hand and wipe the stain off your cheek

🌌 two, he would bring his lips to your cheek and lick kiss it off

🌌 imagine being his girlfriend you would see the fockin DIMPLES EVERYDAY UGH SUCH A PURE MAN

🌌 when you two watch movies, he would either bring wine or ice cream

🌌 "what do you wanna watch?"

🌌 "dISNEY"

🌌 "teuk, aren't you a little—"

🌌 "is it PIXAR THEN? I wanna watch the toy story trilogy for the millionth time!"

🌌 although he isn't a great drinker (does he even drink)

🌌 if you love alcohol, alcohol it isssszzz

🌌 would end up as pure cuddles and kisses from here and there

🌌 then he'd treat you like a full on princess the next day

🌌 "teuk, i'm not drunk"

🌌 "s t i l l. let me treat you like you are drunk."

LEETEUK AS YOUR BOYFRIEND TEXT AND SNAP [FOCUS : MOVIE NIGHT]

LEETEUK AS YOUR BOYFRIEND :

I actually finished this post earlier (it's a draft at this point since I'm typing it in right now) but Tumblr just p00fed it. So, I'm retyping it.

Leeteuk as a boyfriend would include ice cream dates. Now, he would have a hard time choosing ice cream and act thirty years younger. It would also include movie nights. Movie nights would turn into wine night would turn into "make out sesh" night. It depends on the alcohol intake on how intense it goes but that's for the smut ver. of this one.

#leeteuk #park jungsoo #suju #super junior #suju as your boyfriend #leeteuk as your boyfriend #leeteuk boyfriend #movie night #ice cream dates #boyfriend #boyfriend aesthetic #sientoism

[neerasrealm]

We literally need more laughing dad.... Please do something with the toddler twins where lj takes them to a carnival and can't help but spoil them with everything they want. And he ends up winning them a giant teddy bear :')

LAUGHING DAD LAUGHING DAD I AM HAPPY TO PROVIDE. Sorry this one took a bit!! I took a brief break from requests to work on original fics, but I'm back now!

‘’So wha’ did you’s fink?’’ Jack asked as he stepped out of the giant striped tent of the big top. Jack was a clown, and he looked right at home amongst the pop-up carnival. He was tall, and dressed completely in black and white. His nose was shaped like a cone and striped black and white, as were his big strong arms and his long, long socks. Though he looked like one of the clowns you’d find inside the big top, he was not with them. No, Jack was with his own family. Specifically, his two girls. Jasmine and Jasmine. He held the girls in his arms, carrying them as he walked.

‘’I’ wuz fun!’’ Jasmine chirped. Though the girls were identical, Jack could tell them apart easily. He grinned at her.

‘’I’ wuz borin’.’’ Juliette muttered from the other arm. Jack turned to her. ‘’I’ wuz all th’ stuff you do! We can see all ‘f tha’ a’ ‘ome.’’ the tiny girl folded her arms. Jack laughed gently and bounced her a bit.

‘’Ah, c’mon Jules. Can’tcha apprecia’e a big scale show?’’ he asked. ‘’Those people train ‘ard ta make their shows grea’. An’ they do much more’n I do.’’

‘’Yeah!’’ Jasmine piped up. ‘’There wuz so many ‘f ‘em a’ once! I’ wuz grea’!’’

‘’Hmph.’’ was all Juliette replied with. ‘’I still fink da is cooler.’’

‘’Heheh.’’ Jack laughed a bit as he walked away from the tent. ‘’Well they did ‘ave a tigh’rope walker. Y’know Slender would never le’ me do tha’ a’ ‘ome,’’ He looked down at the girl and gave her a sly grin. ‘’E says I migh’ give you’s ideas.’’

Juliette stared up at him for a moment before a smirk crawled up her face. Jack smiled in satisfaction and looked away from her. "Anyway," he continued. "Wha' do ye wanna see next, me li'le bin lids?"

"Can we play some've th' games?" Jasmine asked excitedly.

"I wan' ice cweam!" Juliette, who hadn't quite mastered the R sound yet, added. Jack laughed at them both and nodded.

"I fink we can do ice cream, then we'll check ou' th' games." He said. The two girls in his arms grinned with excitement. Jack walked through the carnival, humming happily to himself. He was in his element here. Surrounded by noise, laughter and holding his two beloved daughters in his arms. He stopped at the ice cream stall and looked over the menu. "Righ', girls. Wha're we ge'in'?"

Juliette hummed for a moment. "Wainbow shewber' an' cookie dough," She finally said. "In a spwinkle cone."

Jack laughed. "Good choice, lass." He said. He turned to Jasmine. "Wha' abou' you, swee'ear'?"

"Mmm…" Jasmine thought long and hard for a moment. "Strawberry." She finally said.

"Tha' all?"

"Yeh."

"Alrigh', we'll 'ave-"

"WAI'-" Jasmine interrupted her dad before he could order. "...I'll 'ave chocola'e fudge, please." She added softly. Jack grinned at her and chuckled.

After he'd ordered ice cream for all three of them, Jack began walking calmly through the crowd again. "Da! Da!!" Jasmine's sudden excitement and her small hand patting his shoulder quickly made Jack look away from his rock road ice cream. He looked down at her and tilted his head. The small girl excitedly turned and pointed at one of the stalls by them. A hit the can game, with tons of stuffed animals hanging up as prizes. Jasmine was pointing at one in particular. A gigantic pink rabbit. "Do ya fink ye could win tha'?"

Jack frowned for a second. "I dunno…" no doubt the rabbit was one of the hardest to earn prizes.

"Oh c'mon da!" Juliette squeaked next to him. "Ye can do i'!" He looked down at her. Juliette was grinning wide, her eyes practically sparkling. Jack softened and smiled.

"Awrigh'." He said gently as he walked over to the stall. He sat the girls down on the counter and handed Jasmine his ice cream. "Old this fer a second, Jas." He said as he reached into his sleeve and pulled out the money he needed for the game. He paid and was given three small grey balls. He smirked. Just knock over the cans and win his girls a prize. Easy.

He grabbed a ball, leaned back, and threw the ball. It hit the bottom row of cans and bounced off. Jack frowned. That should have worked- he let out a short breath and grabbed the second ball. Okay, no biggie. That was just a fluke. He pulled back his arm and threw the ball, harder this time. Again it bounced. He blinked.

"This game's fockin' rigged." He mumbled to himself. He glanced down at the twins, who were watching him intently. They probably hadn't realised the game was rigged. He hardened his expression and smirked as he grabbed the last ball. "Watch me now, girlies." He said as he leaned back, winding up for a much stronger throw. His arm stretched a bit to give him extra distance, and then he lunged forward, throwing the ball as hard as he could.

The ball hit the bottom row of cans so hard the glue sticking them to the bench broke instantly. The cans were all stuck together, so when one fell, the rest went with it. Jasmine and Juliette cheered as Jack grinned to himself. He turned to the shocked stall attendant with a smug expression.

"I'll take th' rabbi', please."

#I'll add a cut to this when i get home i just wanted to get it out early on #ask #anon #anonymous #request #requests #writing #creepypasta fanfiction #creepypasta fanfic #laughing jack #laughing dad #creepypasta

[defleurtradingco]

The Merry Month of Mirth- Joint

(Previous: Despicable , Next: Fault)

“That’s a hefty check,” Lawrence squinted as he held up said check above his head.

“I didn’t think she was actually gonna PAY us,” Lune, despite their usual deadpan-approach to everything, was still relatively floored by what had appeared in the mail. A check for ten thousand US dollars.

“What ya think their kind go without compensation? More’n I make in half a bloody year-”

“Where do we even deposit this,” Lune reached for the check and took it, looking it over again. In the corner was the DeFleur’s fleur de lile emblem with a barely visible image of a cobra watermarked behind it.

“There’s a special bank in th’ big city, we’ll head on over there on a weekend.” Lawrence stretched his legs out for a few moments before hauling himself off the couch. “Break time’s over, be back later. Don’t make a mess-” “Yeah yeah, have fun.”

Once he’d stepped out Lune got up and ended up sitting at the kitchen table, where Mischa was busy counting out beans. For dinner, anyway. Wyatt had put him to work sorting out the ‘bad ones.’ Which was preposterous because there WERE no bad beans. Only bad sauces.

“Even if I cared about money I wouldn’t take a single penny they threw at me.” He grumbled as he picked through the bowl of beans next to him. “That’s all blood money.”

“Maybe, but hey, I’ll take it. I could go to a university.” Mischa glanced at them momentarily before going back to his beans. “Well how long does THAT take?” “University?? I dunno, maybe several years.” “Well what the hell would I do then?! For that long?!” Lune raised a brow, “You could do whatever the hell you want? I mean shit you can go anywhere and not have to worry about very much,”

“Well that’s not the POINT I-” “OY less arguin’ more bean-pickin’ back dere!” Wyatt looked over his shoulder briefly from the kitchen. “An’ whaddya mean not th’ point? DeFleurs got good money! Don’ matter o’ care much where it comes from at this point, ‘s long as ya use it fer somethin’ good. Like school. School’s always good.” Lune held up a hand in a ‘see’ motion, while the changeling shook his head and roll his eyes in disapproval.

“Whatever.”

“No, YOU just won’t admit that you’d be lonely without me.” “I would NOT.”

“Aye he would!”

“WYATT!!”

“N’ so would I! Who else would keep Lawrence from trowin’ us out finally??”

Lune smirked. “True enough I guess.” They reached for the envelope the check came in and put it back inside, tossing it onto the table afterwards. “So where do you think Rainbow’s gone?” “Who cares? Faeries do whatever the hell they want. They’re probably fighting somewhere or something stupid.” “Huh, that’s neat.” “No, it isn’t.” Mischa picked up a shriveled bean, eyeing it critically, before tossing it into the reject pile. “Anyway, time doesn’t flow like it does out here, so they could be flying around in there beating the teeth out of each other for the next century or millennia, I don’t really care. AND neither should any of you. SO that’s that.” “Such a grouch. Fine though.” Lune shook their head. “Still I wish we coulda at least like, thanked him- her- ...it, or something. Rainbow that is. I know that lady Solaina said she would help it with some stuff or something, don’t remember what.”

“Whole joint-effort that was! Surprised it was over as quick as’it were,” Wyatt winced as he finished his sentence, reaching for a bag of relatively melted peas. “Fock’sake, need me a proper ice pack...”

“Head still killin’ ya?” “Dat king faerie o’ whatever snapped off m’ damned antlers- ya try havin’ some bones snapped off YER head! E’en if ah don’ got dem out here in th’ open!”

“That sucks.”

“Aye it do! Now den, Mischa are ya done countin’ dem beans cuz ah fockin’ swear ya don’ need ter examine each n’ erry one like dey’re made o’ DIAMONDS!!”

“I’M TAKING MY TIME-” The two went at it again. Lune only sighed.

With any luck the beans would be going to chili for dinner.

#mirth #ALMOST DOOONEEEE