#he's a little shit most of the time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

madebypointlesswords · 2 years

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Arthur: If Gwen and I were both drowning, who would you save?

Merlin: I don't know, both of you?

Arthur: No, if you could only save one of us

Merlin: Well, I would probably save Gwen because she can't swim that well and I happen to know you're an excellent swimmer

Arthur: Suppose I was holding an anchor? Who would you save then?

Merlin: Well, why don't you let go of the anchor?

Arthur: It's a family heirloom

Merlin: I'm leaving

#these two will be the death of me one day I can feel it #arthur you could just ask merlin for affection u know #that dumbfuck has been in love with you since you tried to swing his head of with a mace #like sure #he's a little shit most of the time #but for fucks sake #merlin bbc #arthur pendragon #merthur #merlin #merlin incorrect quotes #merlin memes

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undertheredhood · 6 months

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jason 'perfect poker face' todd: and that is the story of how i got myself permenantly banned from three countries in the span of two months!

tim 'know it all' drake: *immediately picking up his stalking hobby because he doesn't know if jason is telling the truth or not*

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puppetmaster13u · 28 days

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Prompt in Memes 5

Once more, have a prompt entirely in memes because I'm too lazy to properly write one right now lol.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #De aged dan #de aged ellie #dad danny #mom danny #Fuck it make this a Hazmat Au too with a hint of eldritch Phantom form #Hence why no one realizes Danny Fenton & Phantom Dark are different people #No Danny is not ghost king he's just a little shit #Jazz is in Metropolis & Danny is around depending on where the “field trips” are #Sometimes he's in Gotham because Scarecrow or Ivy offers a lecture #Most of the time they're in Central though because it's safest for the baby villains in the making lol #Danny is taking classes for both medical stuff (thx Frostbite) and engineering #A couple of time travelling villains ADORE him and his kids lol #“So u a monsterfucker?” “What” “I mean I saw that ghost hero & I'm just sayin that's not human y'know-”#Tucker stop laughing at him #Tucker and Sam and Val are also in the same villain school but taking different classes #Save for Tucker also being in an engineering class #Sam is fighting for that Ivy internship #Val is in the specialized Anti-Hero course that focuses on teen heroes who are done with that bs #She got in by telling them (not lying) that she's going to take down a branch of government even if she has to blow the whole thing up #Evil College Au #Danny made a mistake & now everyone thinks that he Val Sam AND Tuck were in a relationship with Phantom at some point #Eveery other student now refers to them as the Petty Exes #memes #meme

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doodlesforfics · 2 years

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Who’s Old Now? by @lirabuswavi (um i hope i tagged the right person, cause like im 80% sure you are same ao3 lirabuswavi, if not im sorry <;D)

ok this one-shot literally opened my eyes to sheer chaos possibility of Adult!Fenton adopting kid Billy B. while Teenager!Phantom being mistaken as Shazam’s ward and just ladskjsdk??? superhero/magic/ghost community would not be prepared. amazing fic. such fun.

and some doodles inspired by the fic

let lil Billy have retired ghost superhero possibly eldritch overpowered being Phantom as protective Dad.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #Danny Phantom #shazam #billy batson #danny fenton #captain marvel shazam #jazz fenton #adult danny fenton #i build a little headcanon in my head that out of all communities ghosts are the most accepting?? of this strange development #like. superheroes are: oh anicent magical Shazam has a ward. a son now about whom he cares very much and also he is apparently?? ghost WAIT #magical ppl: ah Shazam aka Billy has gained an incredibly powerful being as his guardian. oh. he is ex-hero.HE DEAFEATED THE GHOST KING #AND HE KNOWS A TIME LORD??#ghosts: oh hey halfa got himself a kid! he is also magic. huh neat. anyways back to usual ghost shennanigans #also now Shazam is under Phantom protection. so if ghost ever attacl JL they are like: Hey wait a sec arent u like... Phantom's?#Billy: sweating nerviously #ghost: aw shit cant mess with you then. ur friends are fair game tho #maybe some new ghost uncle and aunts for billy too who knows.#just really fun ;) thoughts that this fic inspired lol #anyway i hope you might like the silly art LiraBuswavi!#Who's Old Now? by LiraBuswavi #fanfic fanart

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luna-lovegreat · 3 months

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Currently obsessed with the idea that the boys go to Time for love advice, since "he's married so he knows this stuff right?"

I mean they couldn't recognize a wedding ring??? And neither did he???

And time was saying this in his youth I mean cmon

Twilight: So ancestor. What would you do if like. Malon left to another world and never came back

Time: ... bro Malon called me fairy boy and then we were married like what

Hyrule: So uhh old man. How does one. Meet a girl.

Time: By speaking to her I guess? Or not, Malon did the talking for me

Hyrule: riiiiight...

Wild *no tact*: Hey so like... what if your redheaded wife who's name started with M died.

Time: what?!?!

Wild, undeterred: but like before she proposed.

Time: ...

Wild: and you don't remember if you would have said yes. What's your advice for dealing with that?

Time: ... vent to a fairy?

Warriors: hey old man

Time: no no no not this one asking me please

Warriors: how do I get women to stop coming after me. So I can ya know. Choose without war trying to force me into relationships

Time: I can safely say I've never had that problem captain

Wars: of course not *smirks*

Wars: ok but seriously how do I make them go away

Time: ... wear a wedding ring so they think you're taken, I've got a shiny extra

Time: no no why- they won't stop, I don't know how to do love!

Time: ok well at least I have legend. That kid would never ask for advice, I'll sit by him.

Legend: so old man.

Time, looking forward to a normal conversation: yeah?

Legend: hypothetically, what would you do if you found out Malon didn't exist.

Legend: And her whole world didn't, but it did, and now it doesn't

Time: ...Excuse me for a minute.

Time, writing a letter as fast as he can: MALON HOW DO I GIVE LOVE ADVICE THEY THINK IM WISE

Malon: lol

Happy Valentine's Day guys, have a headcanon :P

The boys go to Time for love advice and Time spouts whatever wise-sounding bs he can, before shoving them all on Malon for therapy when they visit the ranch

Art and comic by Jojo @linkeduniverse! :D

#I'm just??? we have like three different times they went to him with love problems? guys he grew up in a forest raised by a tree #he proposed with a cosplay ring #Malon laughs her head off when he says they're going to him for advice #'babe I had to force you into understanding marriage'#'give me the boys I'll talk to them'#to the boys: 'listen Links don't stop going to him for love advice. ask about the most wierd traumatic shit you've been through'#'cook record his reactions this'll be hilarious'#'he's seemed wise...' 'he don't know shit kids he's quoting me'#Lu time #lu #linked universe #linkeduniverse #little did he know legend was the worst of them all #wars wears the glittery engagement ring he recommended with pride 'sorry I'm taken ladies in case you missed the sparkle'#technically Valentine's Day was 43 minutes ago but shhhh it's ok time doesn't know what love is either #I do not have several of the games or complete information #if I said something incorrect (or offensive ever) let me know :)#love you guys #:)

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kimbapisnotsushi · 6 months

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haikyuu is NOT realistic!!!! and it's not because of the underdog plotline or the insane athletic skill or funky character designs but because in the timeskip everyone gets a job that they are perfectly content with and more or less suits them to a tee and don't seem concerned for their futures whatsoever all before the age of thirty

#okay except maybe makki. but he's chilling so whatever #it is literally the thing i am most jealous about in hq #do i wanna be hinata with muscles that could smash watermelons in half and traveling the world to play volleyball??#no i wanna be a side character with a stable job and financial stability who has time to hang out with their friends!!!!#GOD i wish that were me #also hey guys sorry for awol!!#it was a little bit shit both inside and outside my life #and posting might be the only bit of nonhopelessness that i've got so!! going to slowly make my way back into it #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #sou says stuff

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ruporas · 1 year

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hello there, angel

[ID: Digital illustration in color of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. Vash is sitting facing the viewer and holds a rose between his clasped together hands, but he’s looking to the left, upwards, at Wolfwood, with an awed expression. Wolfwood hovers over him with wings sprouting from his back. He has a cigarette lit between his lips, his arms and legs are crossed, and he looks back at Vash with a neutral expression. The both of them are covered in a blue shadow, casted by Wolfwood and his hovering form, while warm light hits the back of his wings and over Vash’s legs. Small feathers sits next to Vash. End ID]

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #this is not meant to mean anything btw i just wanted to draw wolfwood as an angle #i love angel and follower depiction but i also think wolfwood is just the most angelic human being ever #he was sent to guide him... he protects him... he Saved him #i mean they both just think of each other as the most good they've seen in the world in a really long time #and in turn makes themselves coil and feel a little more disgusted with themselves. but they're also so Good to each other that they can #start to believe that they can be that good too.#they love each other so much and theyve never loved anyone else like this before so i can just imagine the heights their love can reach #endless pouring of affection in a way they can only keep to their own chest in fear they'd never be able to let go otherwise #that is to say i just feel like they'd worship each other and it's probably excessive but i feel like they both really deserve it #i did not even mean to go on that tangent but back on topic -- i just love angel wolfwood depiction in a way that's Normal......#need more of vash saying cheesy shit like youre my light wolfwood!!!! and wolfwood beating the shit out of him like WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!!!#which is why i have a tablet in the first place. my mission in the world...#ruporas art

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ravennhearted · 8 months

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Sometimes I think about how Merlin took place over 10 years—a whole decade—and the thought of the show spanning that long feels entirely too long and like an infinite amount of time and that it can’t actually have been ten years

And then I think about how Merlin is 16-18 in the first season. And I just—

That means, at the oldest, Merlin was only 28. He wasn’t even 30

And then I just start losing my mind for a whole different reason

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pettyprocrastination · 2 years

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broke: eddie munson has handcuffs in his room cause he likes kinky sex

woke: eddie munson has handcuffs in his room because he was once arrested by officer Callahan for possession of marijuana at a halloween party they busted his junior year, but as soon as Callahan sat him on the pavement and turned around, Eddie jumped up and hauled ass into the forest until he reached the trailer park. His uncle had to pick the lock to get them off his dumbass nephew (making eddie swear to 1. never ask how his uncle knew how to pick locks and 2. never get fucking arrested again) Eddie kept the handcuff’s as a memoir of the night he outran the Hawkins Police Department.

#tj talks #eddie munson #stranger things season 4 #sorry i just think its funny #hopper: what. what do you MEAN he 'got away'#callahan: HES VERY FAST AND SLIPPERY OKAY #but fr i cant imagine hopper like. giving a shit #probably has been called on that kid more than once and each time its jsut that tired sigh of 'i dont want to be here either okay'#edit: dont turn this post into a 'if you characterize eddie as anything other than my own personal hc i get mad' thing because it isnt!!#this is a simple littoe heeha i had late at night #relaistically the cuffs are most likely accessories/decor i just thought it was funny #but i keep seeing people do the 'THIS is canon ajd if you think otherwise shut the fuck up'#so lets all just be calm ajd play nice in our little fake land of blorbos

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royaibrainrot · 11 months

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Sometimes I hate that biblically accurate Roy always wears dress clothes. What if I am tired of saying he’s wearing slacks. What if I want to have fun.

#jk I love his little suit vest tie coat outfits #but I was trying to look at any casual clothes he wears in canon for this fic because it would make the most sense #and it’s all just like full suits #oh well #guess I will lie #pretend he is wearing jeans or some shit (oh god he would not)#I guess it’s also because of the time period #1900’s was all about dapper lads in suits #which fair enough #grace rambles #roy mustang #fma #fmab #my writing #Fullmetal alchemist

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fansids · 11 months

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Couple of young Macaque sketches for SotK I slapped color on to prove to myself that I can still draw monkies.

His ears are wrong for his age, but I'm too lazy to fix it

#lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk #shadow of the king au #six eared macaque #I know a lot of ppl make Mac a shy reserved kid but I vehemently disagree #In sotk this man was a little shit who only grew to be a bigger little shit #he's like 12 here so you can imagine #he gets nicer then he gets a lot worse #he's only shy in comparison to SWK who is like the most outgoing person of all time so it's not even a f air comparison #though some ppl think he's shy bc he's always right next to SWK and also hates parties so #myart #doodle

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lesbiradshaw · 3 months

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just watch as i crucify myself.

#liam was going through it all throughout 6b like omg #imagine bringing ur former crush back from the dead n vouching for him to all ur friends who all keep reminding u not to trust him #actually the crush in question ALSO reminds u not to trust him #except u dont listen because said crush keeps saving u & showing care for your well being or whatever #but then he also at random points says really mean shit to u so u say mean shit back & fight all the time #even when u keep getting teamed up cuz ur such a good duo #the mixed signals. i know he was going insane.#theo would compliment him once in the most cryptic way possible & then do some shit like call him little beta & punch him #thiam #theo raeken x liam dunbar #theo x liam #theo raeken/liam dunbar #theo/liam #theo raeken #liam dunbar #teen wolf #cody christian #dylan sprayberry #thiam edit

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arsenicflame · 6 months

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absolutely delicious flavour of edizzy is where theyre Actually Married but neither of them know it, while also being acutely aware of everything-

they celebrated 25 years of their matelotage. they are having sex on the regular. both of them think the other thinks their contract is purely for financial reasons and the sex is just fun + convenience.

#'hes just having sex with /me/ because he knows im not going to stab him in the back (literally)'#meanwhile theyre having the most tender schmoopy sex known to man because theyre both so fucking in love #(not 2 say anything abt the actual sex theyre having they can be as rough as they want itll still be tender because theyre having FEELINGS)#'of course we have a matlotage it'd be silly to not have a financial agreement when our lives are so entwined. whats mine is his'#and at the same time theyre celebrating anniversaries with blowout bashes and gifts and shit and just #theyre so fucking aware of their marriage but theyre SO STUPID about it #'but what if he doesnt like me like that' about the man whos slept next to him for decades #nyxtalks #ofmd #izzy hands #israel hands #edizzy #blackhands #anyway it ends when someone else finally points it out #classic steddyhands set up. eds talking about his relationship with izzy and stedes like 'youre married' 'yeah but not like that'#'absolutely yes like that edward- am i the other woman?????' and it takes a few days and a lot of convincing but they talk about it #and realise oh theyve been real actual married all their lives huh #que more fucking schmoopy sex. hand holding and tears and shit and maybe its a little cringe but its their wedding night ok ????????

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lovesickeros · 1 year

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☆ what a kind god, what a cruel god

{☆} characters zhongli {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood, light angst {☆} word count 0.5k

You are a kind God - with hands that heal instead of hurt. Words that forgive, instead of rightfully insult. The stories do little justice to the breadth of your gentleness, extending your love to the slimes that coalesce at your feet, eager to know the touch of the Divine. The birds that sing with the wind your praises from upon your shoulder.

But to him, your kindness is so very cruel.

They do not deserve it. He does not deserve it.

Your forgiveness should be a blessing after all they have done, but it feels like swallowing acid instead. It makes him feel sick and lightheaded, throat constricting until he struggles to breath against the weight of his sins, heavy upon his chest.

He wonders if your hatred would be easier. Even apathy, he thinks, would be preferable to the way your screams intermingle with the softness in your voice as you cradle his face between his hands within his dreams. Even in the waking world, your every word is shadowed by broken pleas, drowned in golden ichor as it rises up your throat, silencing your screams - it haunts him, and he cannot handle seeing the way you look at him in concern. He does not deserve it.

Try as he might, he cannot forgive himself. He does not think he ever can - not when he wakes to the feeling of blood on his hands, his tongue, filling his lungs until all he tastes and smells is blood.

If you had been a little less kind, he thinks he would find comfort in your cruelty.

Your anger would be a mercy.

But you are not. You are..kind. Gentle. So many things he once praised on bruised knees at an altar that towered far above him, drowned in gold and silks, every word he speaks a prayer to the most Divine. And he cannot bear the weight of knowing that he could have destroyed that part of you - he cannot bear knowing that he didn't, and you look upon the man who wore your blood like a second skin with a kindness that burns him like a hot iron.

He did not deserve such a loving God.

"..Zhongli?"

He pauses in his internal struggle, hands shaking on his lap. He clenches them into fists, blunt nails digging into his palms until they stop - yet you look at him with furrowed brows, concern gleaming in your eyes, and he feels sick all over again. But for you, he would do anything. Even if it meant pretending he did not feel like a monster in a mortals skin when you smiled at him like he was worth anything.

"Yes, Divine One?"

He chokes down the phantom taste of iron upon his tongue, forcing himself to smile to soothe the worries that crease your brow.

"You said you'd take me to the Chasm today."

He feels..relieved as the worry melts away from your features. It is the very least he can offer - he shall take upon your burdens, your worries, so that you may look upon Teyvat with love, and not fear. He will carry the sins of the many, so that you may look upon the nations with pride, and not horror.

It is all he can do, to ease the way his chest aches when you smile at him, hand tugging at his sleeve and forcing himself unsteadily to his feet.

He does not deserve you - but for today, he can pretend. Just a little while longer.

#sagau #self aware genshin #self aware genshin impact #genshin sagau #imposter au #sagau imposter au #fic tag #angst #zhongli #sagau zhongli #pulls out the whiteboard who wants 2 hear my psychoanalysis of zl in sagau!!#imposter au zl who resents himself and is just a little fucked up over what happened and refuses to accept that he can be forgiven :)#he needs therapy bc he refuses to accept that hes allowed 2 be a little traumatized!!!!#as u can see he did not handle anything well ever and he is mentally unwell. perhaps a little unstable.#making the genshin men as pathetic as possible one man at a time #I JUST THINK. there is a lot of potential 2 be had for post imposter au characters.#slaps zl this bad boy can fit so much self hatred and internal resentment and trauma and lack of self worth and #yeah :)#writes the most unhinged shit ever. refuses to elaborate. leaves

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sketchingstars03 · 8 months

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I always find it so funny whenever the “Murder Time Trio” (Killer, Horror, and Dust) are abbreviated as “MTT”

Because all I can think of is:

Ah yes

the most fucked up being(s) in the undertale multiverse

Mettaton

#undertale au #utmv #it’s very amusing #just a little bit silly #murder time trio #dust sans #horror sans #killer sans #textpost #Disclaimer: I hold no grievances towards people who abbreviate them like that #bad sanses #truly mettaton undertale is the most fucked up guy #well… thinking about it he did endanger a child several times #though it was staged #the fact they share an acronym is the funniest shit to me

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navree · 1 month

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i'm sorry but this is sending me into the goddamn stratosphere, if you send people to physically attack my mom, torture my sister, cut my six year old son's head off, threaten to murder my toddler, and then also threaten to rape my six year old daughter, i would be very happy and jovial in declaring war on your psycho ass for pulling that shit on people who literally didn't do a thing to you.

consequently, if i sent people to physically attack someone who never did me any harm, torture my sister who never did me any harm, cut my six year old nephew who never did me any harm's head off, threaten to murder my toddler nephew who never did me any harm, and also threaten to rape my six year old niece who never did me any harm, i would be very full of regret and sorrow for what i've done, because those are bad things that i did.

#personal #house of the dragon #hotd #like yeah no SHIT aegon's super gung-ho to carpet bomb rhaenyra and her side #you murder my kid and beat up my mom and make my sister go crazy and literally threaten to RAPE MY SIX YEAR OLD #i'll go apeshit i'll have the time of my life talking about how you're gonna suffer i'll be happy as a clam about it #like rhaenyra should absolutely feel bad and fear what she started! what she started was monstrous!#and by not thoroughly denouncing daemon and removing him from her side for it she's clearly endorsing it!#and people have the right to be happy about causing her bodily harm as a result for either tacitly or outright endorsing things like this #you know things like child murder and threats of violent rape against little girls #(and i mean even just the bad precedent to set of 'you did something that hurt me so i have the right to take it out')#('not on you or anyone who supported you but civilians who weren't even remotely involved in the situation at all')#like come on rhaenyra's side is in the wrong for blood and cheese and it's so fine for aegon (as the person most deeply affected by it)#to be happy about any retribution he could bring on her #just as it is both fine and actually really good for rhaenyra as a character to feel bad about it #as the wrongful party #be fucking for real

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