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#he got fired for having a workplace relationship with a subordinate
cyanastrologist · 2 years
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❌ Ned Fulmer was fired for cheating
✔️ Ned Fulmer was fired for tarnishing his own brand, and becoming a liability to the company.
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lovebugcody · 2 years
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alright ned and alex cheating opinions time!!
obviously this is just from what my nosy ass has learned and there is obviously a lot behind the scenes that i don't know, and that none of us will know. but that doesn't stop me from having opinions.
first of all, and i've already talked about this. the power imbalance. i won't add much more because i've already made a post, which you can read here but i just want to reiterate, ned was alex's employer and regardless of company size, there is a power imbalance and an abuse of that power
two. alex is not absolved of blame. she has been a long-time friend of the try guys and their partners, she was with the company since it began, and was friends with them i believe in the buzzfeed days. so she was friends with ariel. she was there at the pregnancy announcements and birth-related events. she betrayed her friend and her fiance whom she had been with for over a decade.
next what i find hilarious is that they were caught at a sold out, MSG harry styles concert. there is video of them kissing because obviously. a lot of the try guys fans are in a similar demographic as harry styles fans. ALSO while ned was taking photos with fans, alex was allegedly getting really annoyed that he was getting recognised lmao. bestie maybe don't be a homewrecker in public with a quasi celebrity.
i've seen a lot of people commenting on how they feel for ariel, as do i! but not a lot of people have said anything about will, alex's former fiance! that man still got fucked in all of this. honestly i feel for both of them so much, and i hope that they are doing as well as they can in this shitty scenario
ned's statement to me feels icky. there is something off. other than the fact that he tagged ariel which is a shitty shitty thing to do, the phrasing of "consensual workplace relationship" feels... idk i just don't like it. like okay thanks for clarifying you didn't abuse alex or force the relationship i guess? ?? and the fact that he, what, "lost focus"? sir??? your wife is fucking stunning and is the mother of your two children. how did you lose focus on your family?
i'm glad the try guys dropped him, and i hope that their brand is able to pivot cleanly away from him. and i hope that ariel gets some monetary compensation or something because she was super important in them starting the try guys as a separate business and brand. i don't know whether she'll leave them all together as she has a podcast with them, i would totally get if she does. but regardless she doesn't deserve to lose that revenue when she's got two kids just because her husband is a cheating sleazy shitbag
edit: WAIT I HAVE MORE! just one more though.
because it was an employer with his subordinate employee, the whole relationship can cause some SERIOUS legal issues for ned and to a decent extent the try guys. and it really sucks that they might have those to deal with because it wasn't them, and they've fired ned super quickly.
god i'm so damn nosy and living for this drama. because i didn't care about the adam levine shit, i enjoyed the DWD but i wasn't super invested. but try guys drama? i've been rubbing my hands together for the past like 24 hours
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Looking for a Romance this Valentine’s Day?
So, every publication and blogger is putting out a Valentine’s Day romance list, and we are nothing if not followers. We’ve assembled a large list (33 Books) of a mix of traditionally and indie published books. All of the books on this list are ones we’ve read and feel comfortable recommending. And they all fit the definition of romance - a story where the relationship is central to the overall plot and features a happy for now or happily every after ending.
We’re going to break this down into several categories because not everyone reads Regency romances (but we are going to start there).
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Regency Romance
These are books set between 1795-1837. While the Regency itself was only from 1811-1820 most people use these dates including Wikipedia. This was honestly one of the hardest for us to narrow down, mostly because it’s the dominant genre in traditionally published romance -- even Contemporary doesn’t hold a candle to Regency right now.
Sweet Disorder - Rose Lerner - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Election hijinks ensue when the local election hinges on who the widowed wife of a newspaper printer marries. Other Notes: Plus-Sized Heroine, Family Drama, Disabled Characters, Everyday People Falling in Love, Marginalized Author (Jewish).
The Baroness Affair - Jean Wilde - M/M/F Romance (Steamy) - A desperate noblewoman enlists the help of a male courtesan to help her get pregnant... no it’s not what you think. Other Notes: Equal Triad Polyamory, Period Appropriate Homophobia, LBGT Romance, Family Drama.
How To Start a Scandal - Madeline Martin - M/F Romance (Steamy) - A wallflower and secret society reporter reconnects with the Earl Next Door who’s recently returned from the war. Other Notes: Plus-Sized Heroine, Family Drama, Positive Mental Illness Portrayal, Cute Plot Animals.
Project Duchess - Sabrina Jeffries - M/F Romance (Steamy) - A duke returns to his family after the mysterious death of his stepfather, yet another duke, only to be enchanted by a woman who has a connection to the last person to see his stepfather alive. Other Notes: Older Heroine (the whole series features these), Romantic Suspense Series, family drama. I’m really enjoying the whole series and it’s worth a read.
The Rakess - Scarlett Peckham - M/F Romance (Steamy) - This is a love it or hate it kind of book that flips so many of the conventional romance tropes on its ear. It features a hard-drinking, hard-smoking, highly sexual woman who authors progressive literature and causes a scandal just by living her life meeting up with a mild-mannered reputation conscious Scottish Architect with two small children. Even the cover flips the script on the classic clinch cover. I loved it. A lot people didn’t. Other notes: Period appropriate sexism/hypocrisy/etc., CW: alcoholism, neighbors to lovers, adorable plot moppets.
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Paranormal Romance
These are romances that feature a fantastical element. This can be anything from vampires to shifters to time travel. These also will often be series which may or may not continue with the same relationship throughout several books.
Hot Ghost - Annika Martin - M/F Romance (Steamy) - A waitress finds love with the ghost who haunts the pier near her family’s restaurant. Other Notes: Major Character Death (It’s a Ghost Romance...), Everyday People Falling in Love, Novella.
Accepting Fate - Deanna Chase - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Fresh from a bad break up, a woman meets her soulmate at an art gallery opening. Together they have to work through their trauma and find out if they can be happy together. Other Notes: Childhood trauma, Fire Fighter Romance, Soulmates, Artists.
Gretel - Niamh Murphy - F/F Romance (Steamy) - A retelling of the fairy tale Hansel and Gretel with a very interesting twist. Other Notes: Age-Gap Romance, Novella.
One Shade of Grey - Monica Corwin - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Dorian Grey, yes that one, has a bit of a problem. He keeps seeing a woman who he thinks is the reincarnation of his lost love. But is she really? Or is he going insane? Other Notes: Positive Portrayal of Mental Illness, Classical Story Retelling, Billionaire Romance, Immortality
Tangled in Time - Barbara Longley - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Cursed to see spirits, Regan is approached by the spirit of a cursed Irish warrior. Now they must work together to lift his curse and fall in love along the way. Other Notes: Fae Romance, Time Travel Romance, Ghost Romance.
Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites - Joy Demorra - M/M/F Romance (Steamy or Fluffy) - A vampire, a werewolf, and a magic user walk into a plot to end the world. Of course they have to fall in love along the way. Other Notes: Vampire Romance, Werewolf Romance, Magic User Romance, LBGT Fantasy Romance, Bisexual Romance, Postive Mental Illness representation, Marginalized Author (Disabled, Queer, Neurodivergent).
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Erotic Romance
These are books where the sex is as much a part of the romance as the rest of the story. The plots here tend to be thinner, but they’re still present and important. This is not smut for smut’s sake. The relationship is important too. All of these are going to rate high on the steam.
After Hours - Lynda Aicher - M/F Romance - An executive assistant accidentally observes an after hours orgy in one of the boardrooms. Rather than be repulsed, she’s aroused. And up for more. Other Notes: Workplace Romance, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism, Mild BDSM, Boss/Subordinate Relationship.
Loving Maddie from A to Z - Kelly Jamison - M/M/F Romance - An outwardly happy couple looks to add something to their relationship by inviting their friend into their home and bed. Other Notes: Polyamory, BDSM, Big City Romance.
Ever After - Eden French - M/M/F Romance - An erotic modern retelling of the Cinderella fairy tale featuring billionaires, celebrities, and lots of hot sex. Other Notes: Interracial Romance, Polyamory, Billionaire Romance, CW: Child Abuse.
Test Drive - N.S. Johnson - M/F Romance - A so-called good girl finds that she’s really not when she falls for the leader of a street racing crew. Other Notes: Polyamory, CW: Infidelity, Interracial Romance, Reverse Harem, Recreational Drug Use, Author of Color.
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Other Historical Romance
These are romances set outside of the Regency but not during contemporary periods. A lot of old school romances tend to be this because medieval was big then. But it also includes everything up to 1990 too... Yeah... I know... I feel old.
Let It Shine - Alyssa Cole - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Set during the civil rights movement, this story follows two young people struggling to find their voice and love amidst the turmoil of the 1960s. Other Notes: Interracial Romance, Period Appropriate Racism, Period Appropriate Anti-Semitism, Author of Color, Sports Romance, Novella.
In Pursuit Of... - Courtney Milan - M/M Romance (Steamy) - Set immediately after the American War for Independence it features a British soldier falling in love with a Black man who fought for the American side. Other Notes: Interracial Romance, Romantic Comedy, period appropriate racism, author of color, Novella.
Bringing Down the Duke - Evie Dunmore - M/F Romance (Steamy) - A rare female scholar tries to keep her scholarship going while also crusading for the rights of women in Victorian England. Other Notes: Alpha Hero, Clueless Heroine.
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Contemporary Romance
These romances are set in the last 25 years and run the gamut of tropes.
Get a Life, Chloe Brown - Talia Hibbert - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Sick of living her life wrapped in tissue paper, Chloe Brown sets off to live a little. And to do that, she needs the help of her building’s manager. Other Notes: Plus-Sized Heroine, Interracial Romance, Disabled Characters, Positive Portrayal of Mental Illness, Marginalized Author (Black). As a note the sequel Take a Hint, Dani Brown is just as good and features a Bisexual Woman of Color.
Beg, Borrow, or Steal - Susie Tate - M/F Romance (Fluffy) - A medical student has to juggle the needs of being a single mother, a student, and paying the bills. And if that means she’s got to take off her clothes to do that, that’s what she’s going to do. Too bad she keeps falling asleep in class. Other Notes: No Sex (No really), But also Super sex positive, Student/Teacher Relationship, Adorable Plot Moppet.
Soft Hands - Ariel Bishop - M/M Romance (Steamy) - A professional Hockey Player ends up falling for the team trainer and massage therapist. Other Notes: Bisexual Rep, Sports Romance, Interracial Romance.
The Year We Fell Down - Sarina Bowen - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Two people who’ve suffered from accidents which have left them disabled find each other at a Harvard Expy. While one of the characters only has a temporary disability (broken leg) it still fucking counts. Other Notes: New Adult Romance, Disabled characters, Sports Romance, College Romance.
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Small Town Romance
A subgenre of Contemporary Romance, these are books set in a small town and often the stakes tend to be pretty low. They can run the range of no-sex to lots of steam. They are also often VERY WHITE. While many are set in America, they can also be set elsewhere with Australia and the British Isles being the most common other settings.
Falling for Her Brother’s Best Friend - Noelle Adams - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Who doesn’t love a small town romance featuring characters that used to be childhood friends becoming more? Other Notes: New Adult Romance.
The Last One - Tawdra Kandle - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Meghan, an art student, and Sam, a farmer, and how they meet in small-town Georgia when Meghan comes to teach art over the summer to the kids in town…and ends up staying with Sam and his family. Other Notes: Alpha Male Hero.
If Wishes Were Horses - Caitlyn Lynch - M/F Romance (Steamy) - When an Aussie woman inherits partial ownership in a horse ranch in Ireland, sparks fly. Other Notes: Novella, Irish Romance.
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Old School Romance
These are romances that were written before the rise of indie publishing where white men had the power and it shows. These are what people point to when they reduce romance novels to just “bodice rippers” but even then they weren’t just that.  BTW none of these books feature Fabio so suck it!
Skye O’Malley - Bertrice Small - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Daughter of a small Irish lord, this book follows Skye through her life and romances across England, Ireland, and even Algeria. It’s wild and all over the place and is not your typical romance novel. It ends on a HEA but there is a JOURNEY. But gods it’s one of my old-school faves. Other Notes: Major Character Death. Non-Con, Pirates, Interracial Romance, Historical Domain Characters, This is not your typical romance. I like the whole series... but that’s a me thing.
The Traveling Matchmaker Series - Marion Chesney/M.C Beaton - M/F Romance (Fluffy) - A housekeeper inherits a large sum of money and decides to use it to travel about England. Along the way, she makes matches for the other passengers of the stagecoach she’s traveling on while getting into all sorts of adventures. This series is pure fluff and I love it. Other Notes: Period appropriate xenophobia, Age Gap Romance.
Remembrance - Jude Deveraux - M/F Romance (Steamy) - A romance novelist discovers that the reason she hasn’t found love is because of an issue with her past life. So she decides to do something about it... only to find it’s just the very tip of the story. Other Notes: Time Travel Romance, Past Lives, Meta... so very meta.
Desire in Disguise - Rebecca Brandewyne - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Look this is set during the French Revolution and features duelling (quite literally) pirates. This is a wild ride and it’s so old school it hurts. Other Notes: Alpha hero, mistaken identity, enemies to lovers, spies, pirates, But oh so many problematic tropes. This looks to be out of print... so check your local library.
Gentle Warrior - Julie Garwood - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Set right after the Norman Invasion of England, this features a Norman Lord who was granted an Anglo-Saxon wife and all of the drama that comes with. Note... this is the first Romance Novel I ever read.. My mother bought it for me when it was newish -- in 1987. Other Notes: CW: Rape, Arranged Marriage, Non-conventionally Attractive Hero.
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Books that check all of the boxes of Romance but aren’t Labeled as Romance because Sexism.
Romance isn’t about sex. There’s lots of books with explicit sex in them that aren’t Romance and several with a strong romantic relationship that drives the plot which ends happily and satisfying. But sexism is a thing and so here we are.
The Princess Bride - William Goldman - M/F Romance (Fluffy) - You’ve probably seen the movie. The book is also fun. And since the romance is central to the plot AND the ending is a happy one (especially in the movie) it qualifies.
The Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins - M/F Romance (Fluffy) - Look who would have thought that in a book about kids killing each other and the violence of war that Romance would play that big of a role? But it does. And it is. And it’s important.
Katherine - Anya Seton - M/F Romance (Fluffy) - This could feasibly go into Old School Romance, but apparently the publishers have decided to downplay the actual romance and try to sell this as literature. It follows the real-life Romance between Katherine Swineford and the Duke of Lancaster. 
Did we leave off any of your favorites? It’s probably because we haven’t read them! We always like recs, especially featuring marginalized authors or main characters with marginalized identities.
If you like this kind of thing, consider leaving us a tip in our Ko-Fi!
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windbournefree · 3 years
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AARON SORKIN'S "WOMAN PROBLEM" AND THE NEWSROOM
After binging on The Newsroom (and loving it) created by Aaron Sorkin I got to thinking about his reputed "woman problem" when some YouTube commenter described all the female characters on the show as "twits." That's a characterization I strongly disagree with, and will show why, but also can't shake the intuitive sense that his portrayal is rightly controversial. By that I mean it is right that it should be a matter of discussion, not that it is necessarily wrong. The people holding the discussion need to decide that for themselves.
First the bald facts. Women in this drama hold power: Leona founded and still owns the company, Mackenzie is the Executive Producer of the network's flagship news program with a male second-in-command and many male staff, Sloan is the acknowledged smartest person in the company with far more lucrative prospects awaiting her should she choose them, Maggie is promoted instantly from a personal aide to an associate producer by a woman despite her youth and inexperience. Women are in leadership roles with real power that they do exercise.
In their relationships to men, the women in The Newsroom engage in give and take.
Mackenzie may look at Will like a doe-eyed schoolgirl at times but she's in love with him and is self-recriminating about previous behaviors. She isn't like that with any other male characters. Even with Will she frequently takes charge and makes him follow her direction, which he does. Mac exercises real power in her relationship with Will from episode one on. When Will doles out his "punishments" she only takes them to the degree that she believes she should. She holds the power at any time to say, "That's enough!" which she does in regards to the engagement ring. When she does that he realizes he's gone too far and changes his behavior.
Maggie coddles Don in most of the scenes we see of them and breaks up with him mostly in scenes we don't see. I'd venture to guess that the early breakups happen because the relationship has no room for her passion and she gets tired of soothing his ego to make things work. In contrast, Maggie's drawn to Jim because he awakens and allows room for her passion. Most employees who confront and yell at their bosses as much as she does with Jim would be suspended and/or fired. He lets her get away with it to a degree because he recognizes that that same passion drives her to become an excellent journalist. And because he likes her. Both are true. Every once in awhile he has to reprimand her in public to assert authority over his team or it gives permission to his other staff to behave the same way. Maggie is no shrinking violet. She is strong and self-directed and refuses to allow a man to control her. Most of her errors come from inexperience and human frailty. None of them occur because she's a woman.
Sloan clearly wears the pants in her relationship to Don which, to his surprise, he doesn't mind. Ever once in awhile, though, they switch roles or just relate as equals. Don goes from dating the young intern who part of him wants to dominate to dating the highly intelligent, self-directed professional who no man can dominate and becomes a better version of himself as a result. Sloan's errors in her first broadcast about Fukushima occur not because she is scared by Will as a man but because she's scared by him as respected professional. His gender doesn't matter to her. When Charlie yells at her about it she tells him strongly, "Do not call me 'girl,' sir!" And that's to the head of the News Division.
Leona clearly rules the roost and fights with Charlie as an equal or as a subordinate, never as a superior. They fight the way old friends do.
In no respect are women as a class portrayed as inferior or subordinate to the power of men. So why do I get that intuitive itch that there's something old-fashioned about Sorkin's writing on gender relations?
I think it's that some of the male characters in The Newsroom tend to be the carriers of logic and reasoning while the female characters tend to be the carriers of emotional expression. This isn't always true: Sloan is highly logical (while also passionate) and Charlie is highly emotional (while also reasonable) and Neal carries both in balance. It's certainly true, however, of the Jim & Maggie relationship which is intended as a reflection of the older Will & Mackenzie one. Remember how, in episode one, Mackenzie points out Maggie to Jim and tells him that she's a younger version of her before she grew into herself and got hotter with age? And why has Jim long been Mackenzie's choice for supervising producer? Could it be because he reminds her of Will? I think so. I also think it's fair to assume that Sorkin does not intend for that rational/emotional dichotomy to typify all gender relations since he gives us alternate examples. More likely it's because Sorkin is a brainy guy who prefers an emotionally expressive woman to bring balance into his life. When he writes romance it comes out of who he is, what he likes. That's how he connects to the material at a feeling level. Some viewers may prefer a flip on those traditional associations and the Don & Sloan relationship may have been his attempt to provide that. It's not where Sorkin feels at his strongest or most natural, though, so he writes what he knows.
There ARE problems with The Newsroom, though, that I think if addressed would have reduced criticism. In no way should bosses be allowed to date subordinates over whose careers they have an influence. The producers decide what stories are aired. The career of a journalist rises and falls with the number and quality of stories they get aired. Dating a subordinate in this environment is a breach of ethics and most professional workplace standards. To be fair, Maggie was first an intern then a personal aide and only became an associate producer (journalist) as Don was on his way out so it wasn't a total breach; definitely in the gray area, though. The sexual tension between Jim and Maggie, obvious to everyone (as Sloan pointed out in the finale), often broke out into open conflict. Mackenzie should have addressed this conflict as their supervisor but instead encouraged it. As Jim points out it was Mac's idea for him to get together with Maggie in the first place. Again, it was Mac's advice to Jim to "gather ye rosebuds while ye may" that led to his and Maggie's first kiss and then Jim deciding this was wrong. Mackenzie's regrets about her relationship with Will colored her judgment and led her to offer advice that may have been okay coming from a friend but was inappropriate coming from a supervisor. She could have been rightly disciplined or even fired by HR if found out. Jim does decide that he can't date a subordinate however he feels but Mac should have intervened and threatened to move one of them out if they couldn't handle the tension in a professional manner. In the series finale Jim offers the Supervising Producer position to the woman he's in love with. How is that not an HR violation? How would Maggie's career not be dogged by rumors of "sleeping her way to the top" if she accepts it?
The other thing is the way emotional conflicts between several of the characters break out into office wide battles. Talk about an unsafe working environment! I can't see how the entire management staff wasn't fired on an almost weekly basis. And when Mackenzie commends Maggie for her loyalty by saying she wouldn't complain to HR if her hair was on fire I cringed. Is that the message you want to send out in a #MeToo world?
Aaron Sorkin says he likes to write "very romantically, very idealistically." The chaos in the newsroom is intended for laughs, not to be taken as a serious reflection of a workplace. The characters are flawed and frequently do not do what they should. The lack of HR supervision is even mentioned by a character in season one so there's awareness that liberties are being taken. I don't think there's an inherent woman problem here, just a production not as sensitive as it might be to the struggles women face in the workplace. There are good reasons why "no dating" policies are in place, why it's unprofessional to carry your personal life into the workplace. Workplace comedies routinely feature HR nightmares for the sake of laughs: Brooklyn 99 is a good example. We don't take them seriously. It's the sheer intelligence of The Newsroom and the realistic setting that may make the comedy part seem more serious than it is. Personally I see the show as a kind of joyful fantasy; Sports Night without the canned laughter. If you can separate the fantastic from the realistic I think you'll find that The Newsroom is actually very empowering for women.
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piduai · 3 years
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You live in japan, right? but you’re not asian or am i wrong? do you feel any sort of special treatment there, be it positive or negative? my friend used to live in japan for a couple of years for work, and she’s a blue eyed blonde girl, and men at her office were kinda weird... during the day they were all polite etc but if they went drinking at the end of the day several men always tried touching her hair, told her how she’s a “rare beauty” and shit like that... she stopped going to bars after work eventually because such things happened too often and made her really uncomfortable. most women were nice to her, but there also were a couple of girls who were either jealous or whatever and were giving her the silent treatment. i’m wondering if it was just a shitty workplace or if it’s something cultural for foreigners in japan? my friend ended up transferring and never wanted to come back cause even with all the things she genuinely enjoyed in japan, all those relationships with her colleagues left a bad taste in her mouth...
that’s right, i am eastern european. if you’re a foreigner (looking) you’re going to stand out a lot no matter where you go regardless of race but each breed of foreigner has its own stereotypes and attitudes, and men and women of the same ethnicity are treated very differently. 
i do get special treatment, both negative and positive. i can get away with a lot of stuff that japanese people couldn’t, you know rule-breaking, failure to adhere to norms, being individualistic, being ignorant, i’m extended the benefit of the doubt a lot and even if i do something blatantly stupid or wrong and a lot of people will just shrug and be like ‘well she’s foreign, it can’t be helped’. i work in an ultra traditional company with ruthless subordination and overwhelming corporate abuse but if i decide to use my legal days off, for example, i probably won’t get turned down or fired (tho i also get much more exploited than the locals). i sometimes get stuff or random small gifts for free (like in small locally owned cafes i got free coffee a couple of times, people gifted me veggies from their gardens upon seeing me walk down the street, co-workers sometimes bring me coffee or other drinks or snacks unprompted). people are generally kind, understanding and very helpful.
but yeah there’s the other side of the coin too. i am tall and very beautiful thus always attracted attention, but here it’s tenfold. for japanese men, white women are a p*rn category. my first 4 years here i lived in a tiny town in a prefecture not far from tokyo with a lot of old people and yakuza-owned businesses, the only other white women living there were employed by them, and if you’re a woman there’s only one way to make money for the yakuza. i’ve been approached by men during regular ass activities like walking or shopping asking me if i’m prostituting myself and if they can buy me. finding a (regular and non-teaching) job as a non-western foreigner female is difficult, and sexual harassment is pretty much guaranteed, i am extremely familiar with what your friend went through. my boss commented on my appearance during the interview which yeah was a red flag, but it only escalated. as i said my company is extremely traditional, there are very very few women, and most of my co-workers are men in their 40-50-60s. bossman routinely makes me go drink with him and his henchmen making it so i’m the only woman in a company of 5-10 dudes older than my father, one time he made me go to an important dinner with partners and seated me to his right so i can pour to him, and referred to me in front of the partners as ‘his beauty of a slave’. i’m often used for decorative purposes. there is no touching though because anti-sexual harassment laws were fortified in the last few years and he’s very wary of lawsuits, plus as i said i’m not small. 
women mostly avoid me, though. i’ve always been told that i’m extremely intimidating and look difficult to approach, and i guess here it’s the same... back in uni a friend told me that she initially was terrified of striking up a conversation with me because i seemed so intimidating, but again i don’t know how much of it is me being a foreigner and how much is just my natural energy because people told me the exact same thing in my uni in europe. doesn’t save me from unwanted male attention, though. i’ve been stalked to the point of involving the police, followed, harassed, assaulted, roofied a couple of times (long story), barely escaped being trafficked once (long story x2), my intimidating aura doesn’t stop them from hitting on me any fucking where including the gay district (there wasn’t a single time some dude hasn’t tried to hit me up there. like why do you even BOTHER coming here if you’re str8, i ask them this every single time and they’re all like ‘well, it’s fun’. good for you but why are you trying to pick women up here?????? go to shibuya or something), trying to approach me on the street, on the train, in stores, in lines, on the escalator... men are annoying in general but when you stand out like this you simply become a walking target lol. 
note that all of this and what your friend went through didn’t happen because we’re foreigners, it happens because we’re women. not that japanese men respect their women at all, most are proudly misogynistic unconditionally, BUT if your only encounters in your whole life with a particular category of people happens through p*rnography where you witness them being raped and humiliated on screen, it’s pretty damn difficult to consider them human when you meet people like them in flesh. because of that we have an ‘easy’, sex-happy, slutty image. white men aren’t told they’re ‘rare beauties’. white men don’t get groped on the street or asked if they’re willing to suck someone off for 10k yen. oh to be a white man here, most of the doors are open.
most people are still nice, though. as a foreigner you’ll be a foreigner for the rest of your life, an outsider, an alien, different, strange, unfamiliar, you’ll never be truly accepted or treated as one of their own, and it’s ok, it’s something that you’ll never be able to change and better come to terms with at an early stage. but people are nice. i absolutely love japan and am willing to put up with its negative aspects because to me the ones that i like outweigh them, but i do not blame your friend for choosing a different path, this really isn’t for everyone.
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nyc-blacklist · 4 years
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Nicholas' fully written biography is currently AVAILABLE.
Picture this: you’re a man in your prime; the highest talent in your workplace; young; attractive; intelligent; well spoken… Imagine you’re all these things, but then imagine you’re working for some kid a handful of years your junior who works half as hard as you do and only got his position because his father owns the company. Imagine you’ve been stuck there, his subordinate, for almost half a decade while your kid boss rides the wave of daddy’s money and power, waving your big promotion in your face like a carrot on a string. Imagine that and you’ll have just a fraction of an idea how pathetic Nicholas Keye’s life truly is.
It was only a month after he graduated with a Business PhD that Nick landed himself an internship at one of the biggest businesses in New York’s Financial District, quickly working his way up when his peers and superiors noticed his expertise and natural talent in the industry. He was promoted within a year to Assistant to the Assistant Director (yes, that’s two ‘assistant’s in that title.) The Assistant Director being Matthew Henry – a guy that just so happens to be the CEO's son. It was fine at first – the kid didn’t seem overly interested in the career; had clearly just been placed into it by his father, and Nick had thought ‘perfect. Give it a year or two and he’ll be out of here and I’ll take his place.’
Another four years later and here he still is. Taking orders from a spoiled brat with only half the clue that Nick himself has about business; just a miserable barely-man that verbally abused his employees to project his self-hatred onto them and was more concerned about the amount of sugar in his coffee than he was deadlines, budgets, and growth. Nick’s good at keeping his mouth shut at work, smiling through gritted teeth and clutching onto the little authority he holds when Matthew isn’t around.
Maybe he loses his head sometimes, but the coke’s to blame – can you blame him? Twelve-hour work days with an hour commute from his folk’s place (did he mention he still lives with his parents? Just another one of his life’s travesties) in Hempstead requires a little something to keep a guy going.
Missing pieces
Faceclaim suggestions: Dane Dehaan, Iwan Rheon, Bill Skarsgård.
Relationships
Matthew Henry - In the office, everything is perfectly professional. Matthew throws out his demands and Nicholas is there at his beck and call, no matter how big or small the task. Nick knows he deserves to take the job of the underqualified, over-privileged brat, and Matthew is more than aware of his employee's desire to steal his title. Until Matthew finds a reason to fire the man though, or Nick finds a way to prove his employer's incompetence, the two continue to resent each-other in silence.
Jeremiah Lodge - Nick gets his coke from Jeremiah. In the few years he’s been in New York, Jeremiah’s accidental business endeavour in drug dealing has accumulated an impressive clientele with buyers across New York and it’s surrounding cities. He keeps it clean (or, as clean as one can when they’re a drug dealer) selling mostly coke and weed, but there have been times where he’s had to get his hands a little dirtier – loyal clients that need a little more; clients he can’t afford to lose and is willing to go the extra mile for.
Goldie Dyer -  The two had gone on a date a while back when Nick had run into the girl after her show (hair out of its bun and long faux fur coat over her costume) and complimented her on the performance he'd never actually attended. It was kind of a flop; he'd charmed her into dinner and wine but spent most of the time either complaining about work or sneaking off to the bathroom. A second date was a no-go, although, every so often, Nicholas pops up in her inbox, asking for a chance to redeem himself. The girls at work say he’s no good.
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argyle-s · 6 years
Text
SOMETHING JUST LIKE THIS CHAPTER 9/?
Rating: Mature (For Later Chapters) 
Read at Ao3
Start at the Beginning
Cat takes steps to deal with everyone who's mistreated Kara.
Chapter 9 - Come to Jesus Jimmy Olsen
When Cat returned to the bullpen it was full again and no one was looking at her in pretty much the same way no one looked at her first thing Monday morning. That was probably wise, considering she was absolutely in the mood to come down on someone like the hammer of God. Part of her really wanted to turn around, go back to Kara’s office, chuck Alex out on her ass and kiss Kara senseless. The other part of her, the rational part, was furious at herself for the line she’d almost crossed. Kara has been upset and vulnerable, and Cat had almost taken advantage of that. For making the same mistake she'd made once before. She wasn’t sure she’d ever forgive herself for.
She and Kara definitely needed to have a talk about what happened, but only once they both had a chance to let their emotions settle. Something that wasn’t likely to happen unless Cat took action on another front.
“Close the door,” Cat said to Eve as Eve followed her into the office.
“Yes, Miss Grant,” Eve said. “Um… do you want me inside, or outside when I do?’
Cat turned around, fully intending to deliver an absolutely scathing remark, right up until she remembered the empty bullpen when she’d lead Kara through. Instead, she swallowed the comment, because while Eve might not be Kara, she *was* good at her job, and because Eve had done nothing wrong and a lot right.
“Inside, please,” Cat said before walking around and sitting at her desk.
Eve closed the door, then came back and stood in front of Cat’s desk, notepad at the ready.
“First, I want you to call security. Clark Kent is banned from the building until further notice. I want a hard copy of his picture posted at all four visitors sign in stations, as well as in the security monitoring station on the twentieth floor. I also want instructions posted that he is to be asked to leave once, and if he does not comply, the police *and* FBI Special Agent Alex Danvers are to be called immediately and a formal complaint is to be filed even if he leaves before the police arrive. If he’s still here when the police arrive, I want him arrested for trespassing.”
“Second, I want you go down to HR, and have them call someone down from legal. I want three sets of paperwork prepared on James Olsen. The first set is a formal complaint for grossly unprofessional conduct with a two-week suspension without pay. The second set is a formal charge of harassment following the termination of a romantic relationship, along with an at fault termination packet. The third is a contract buy out at one hundred percent value. I want myself listed as the complaining party on the first set of paperwork, and Kara Danvers listed as the complaining party on the second set of paperwork. Tell legal I also want them to draw up a self defense incident report, with Clark Kent listed as the aggressing party, and Kara Danvers listed as the person being attacked. Tell them I want the paperwork prepared, but not filed. Once all three packets on Olsen are finished, I want them delivered to me, then I want you to find Olsen and tell him I want to see him.”
“Yes, Miss Grant. Anything else?”
“Yes,” Cat said. “Do you know Alison Mercer in HR?”
“Yes,” Eve said.
“Speak with her alone. Make sure no one overhears you. Tell her I want her to fill out a packet twenty-seven with today’s date and sent to my office. She’ll ask you for names. Give her mine and Kara Danvers. Speak of this to no one else, and once it’s done, forget it ever happened.”
“Yes, Miss Grant.”
“Also, clear my entire schedule for tomorrow, then put down a meeting with Kara form 10:00 AM until noon. See that Snapper is informed that she’ll be unavailable during that time. Tell him that if he has a problem with it, he can call Vicki Vale and offer her his job.”
“Yes, Miss Grant. Anything else?”
“That’s all,” Cat said. “Close the door as you leave.”
Eve nodded and turned, heading for the door while Cat leaned back and took a deep breath, considering what she’d just done. Alison Mercer was the head of enforcement for the CatCo Code of Conduct. Her entire job was to make sure that every employee in the building lived up to the exacting standards Cat had set down when she’d founded CatCo, and one of those standards was that Cat Grant was absolutely not going to sit around and allow any executive to force themselves on an underling. No one other than Cat or Alison in the building would have any idea what a “packet twenty-seven” was, because that wasn’t the official designation for the packet of paperwork. The official name was “Order for the Termination of a Board Reporting Employee for Inappropriate Sexual Advances Towards a Subordinate.”
Under under the terms of the CatCo Company Charter, the Board was required to investigate the allegations contained in a packet twenty-seven, and if the allegations were confirmed, the board had no choice but to remove the employee in question from their position. The employee would also forfeit all outstanding stock options, all CatCo 401K matching contributions, their pension and severance package, and under the terms of all board reporting contracts, would be required to sell all shares of CatCo back to the board at eighty percent of current market value.
The fact that Cat had requested the filed the paperwork be prepared herself would be a de facto confession, meaning there wouldn’t even be an investigation. If she told Alison to file those papers, she wouldn’t finish out the day.
It wouldn’t ruin her. Not financially. Even without her CatCo stock Cat was a billionaire ten times over. The trust funds for Carter and Adam were already established, so even if she was bankrupted by the nearly inevitable lawsuits, her sons would be taken care of. It would absolutely destroy her legacy though. Everything she’d ever said about protecting women in the workplace would instantly become a joke, undermined by her own hypocrisy. But she absolutely could not call James Olsen out for his bad behavior if she wasn’t willing to own up to her own.
However, she had other things to take care of first.
She picked up her cell phone, scrolled down to the contact marked ‘Lesser Lane’, and hit send.
“Hey, Cat,” Lois said when she picked up. “How’s the Evil Queen business treating you?”
“Not good,” Cat said. “One of my reporters just slapped a reporter from another paper so hard it drew blood. It’s a mess. One of my department heads was involved. My reporter has a pretty good case for self-defense, as well as a case for harassment against the department head in question, but this has the potential to turn into a complete shitstorm if the other reporter or the department head decide to make a stink, or someone talks to the press.”
“Um, Cat, I know you don’t think much of my reporting skills, but you do remember I *am* a member of the press, right?” Lois asked.
“Unfortunately, that’s not something I can really forget, no matter how much scotch I consume. I just thought you might like a head’s up as to why your boyfriend has a split lip and a hand shaped bruise on his face.”
“WHAT?” Lois screamed.
“Oh, keep it down. But you might want to let him know he’s banned from the building, and the security guards have instructions to have him arrested for trespassing if he shows up here again.”
“Cat, who the hell hit Clark?” Lois asked.
“Kara Danvers,” Cat said. “I don’t know what the hell your farm boy was thinking, but what he said to her… It was bad, Lois. And Olsen was right in the middle of it.”
“Jesus fucking Christ on a crutch,” Lois said. “What the hell did James do?”
“Ask him yourself,” Cat said. “Mr. Olsen is about to find himself with an abundance of free time.”
“You’re firing him?” Lois asked.
“I’d like too,” Cat said. “But I’m going to leave the final decision up to Kara.”
“That’s not like you, Cat. What’s really going on?” Lois asked.
Cat let out a sigh. “What’s going on is James Olsen is an outstanding art director, one of the most talented photo journalists in the world and would very likely have succeeded me as CEO of CatCo Worldwide media. Except the way he treated your sister made one of the most talented lawyers I’ve ever seen walk away from a seven figure salary after three months, and he seems completely incapable of processing the idea that Kara isn’t just your farm boy in a skirt.”
“Wait, what?”
“James and Clark are both unhappy with a decision Kara made during the Doomsday event a couple of weeks ago.”
There was silence on the line for nearly two minutes, before Lois spoke again.
“You know, don’t you?” Lois asked.
“Yes,” Cat said. “It took me about two months to figure it out. Which is an embarrassingly long time, I admit.”
“It took me two fucking years,” Lois said.
“Well, yes, but I that’s you,” Cat said.
“Kara really hit him?” Lois asked.
“Yes,” Cat said. “I saw it coming. I tried to stop it, but James got in my way.”
“I’ll talk to Clark. But Cat, banning him from the building…”
“Lois, if you know who Kara is, you know what she’s been through,” Cat said.
“Yeah, I do,” Lois said.
“Then you’ll understand why when you hear what he said. Well, assuming he has the good sense to leave town before Alex Danvers or J’onn J’onzz catch him. If he doesn’t, well, I could probably get you Aquaman’s phone number.”
“I’ll call him and suggest he come home,” Lois said. “Thanks for the head’s up.”
“You might want to talk to Perry about getting James his old job back,” Cat said. “If Kara wants James gone, I’m going to revoke his National City privileges.”
“That’s low, Cat, even… No, you know what, I’m going to wait until I know what’s going on before I open my mouth, because honestly, I’m still pissed at James for what went down with Lucy.”
“Good choice,” Cat said.
“Yeah. Thanks for ruining my day, by the way.”
“Always a pleasure,” Cat said, then she lowered her phone and hit the end call button.
***
“You wanted to see me?” James said as he came to a stop in front of her desk.
“Have a seat, Mr. Olsen,” Cat said.
“I figured you’d want me standing for this,” he said as he lowered himself into one of the chairs opposite her.
“Oh, I think we’re well past theatrics and power games,” Cat said. “You see, James, I *hate* repeating myself. I really do. So, I’m going to keep this short. Your behavior is unacceptable. Kara asked you not to bring your personal issues into the work place. You ignored her wishes and tried to pressure her into a conversation she did not want to have. You created a scene which could have embarrassed her personally and professionally had I not intervened. Then, today, you and Kent brought an outside issue into Kara’s place of work, created a public spectacle which I can only assume hasn’t found its way onto TMZ and Buzzfeed because everyone out there in the bullpen loves Kara. A spectacle which could have been avoided if you hadn’t kept me from interfering when the initial disagreement began to escalate.”
“You’re going to blame me for that?” James asked with a look of disbelief on his face. “You’re the one who insisted they talk on the balcony.”
“Not helping your case,” Cat said. “I knew the entire situation was trouble the moment I saw you and Kent talking. I wanted the situation where I could keep an eye on it, and if you hadn’t gotten in my way, I might have been able to stop the argument from escalating to the point where Kara felt that a physical response was necessary.”
“Necessary? You think Kara hitting Clark was necessary?”
“What I think is irrelevant,” Cat said. “Kara obviously did.”
James shook his head. “You don’t have any idea what that conversation was about.”
Cat stepped on the impulse to tell James she knew exactly what the conversation was about, because no matter how badly she’d screwed up today, she was not going to violate Kara’s confidence.
“I didn’t need to,” Cat said. “If Kara reacted that way to something Clark said, then I know he crossed a line because I know Kara.”
“Not as well as you’d like to,” James muttered.
Cat just raised one eyebrow as she stared at James and waited. It took a couple of seconds for him to realize what he’d said, and Cat, for all the effort she was making to keep the meeting civil, relished the look of panic on his face.
“Are you done, Mr. Olsen?” she asked in a tone slightly colder than Kara’s freeze breath.
“Miss Grant, I didn’t mean-”
“Don’t insult me,” Cat said. “You meant it. In fact, it’s probably the most honest thing you’ve said since you walked in here. So, let me be equally honest. When you arrived at CatCo I had a lot of respect for you and very high expectations. I hired you with the express purpose of slotting you into the succession plan for when I eventually retired. But I began to question that decision when I saw the way you reacted to me hiring Lucy Lane. She was an amazingly competent woman who would have been a tremendous asset to CatCo had your behavior not driven her away. And now, your behavior is creating problems for an absolutely astonishing young woman who has a tremendous amount of potential. Your behavior. Your inability to accept the validity of Kara’s choices and feelings, on top of your insistence on trying to push her into being something she doesn’t want to be.”
“You are really going to sit there and lecture me on how to treat Kara?” James asked. “Really?”
“Oh, Mr. Olsen, I admit, I’m the last person who should be lecturing anyone on how they should treat Kara. And yet, here we are. Again.”
“Now, fortunately for you, Mr. Olsen, today does not involve an angry Kryptonian on space drugs tossing you off a forty-story building, but make no mistake, this *is* your come to Jesus moment. The only reason you still currently have a job is that Kara has not filed a formal complaint.” Cat reached down and opened the file drawer in her desk and pulled out three manila envelopes. She sat two on her desk and held the third one up.
“This is your for-cause termination packet. All it needs is Kara’s signature on a harassment complaint. One I will offer her the chance to sign tomorrow.” She returned the termination packet to her desk drawer.
“Now, Kara is the forgiving type. She always sees the best in people, and wants to believe they can change, that they can do better. So, I know the chances of her *ever* signing that harassment complaint are close to zero. I also know that if I fire you because of this, she will be eaten alive by the guilt. Which is why I had these prepared.” Cat slid the other two envelopes cross her desk to James.
“One of those is a contract buy out at one hundred percent of the value of your remaining contract. The other is a two-week suspension without pay and a formal letter of reprimand for your personnel file. You can walk away from CatCo today, with three years and nine months’ worth of pay, a cash bonus equal to the current value of your stock options, and a clean personnel file, or you can spend two weeks on unpaid leave getting your head on straight, then come back here and act like you have some concept of how to conduct yourself in the work place. But, if you decide not to take the buyout, and I’m wrong about how forgiving Kara is, you will walk away with nothing. But if you decide to stay, that letter of reprimand will go in your file, and if there is *ever* another incident, I won’t need Kara’s cooperation to fire you for cause.”
James stared at her for a moment, and Cat could see the absolute fury in his eyes as he reached for a pen. He picked up the packet with the suspension paperwork, opened it and signed in four separate places before shoving the paperwork back across the desk.
“Two things before you go,” Cat said. “First, I had Miss Teschmacher book you on a red eye to Metropolis. You’ll find the ticket details in your personal email. I think a break from National City would help you get some perspective.”
James just sat there, staring at her.
“Second, if I ever catch wind of you dating another CatCo employee, I don’t care how upset Kara gets. I *will* fire you on the spot. I told you before, twice is dangerously close to becoming a pattern of behavior. I will not put up with your bullshit a third time.”
“Now, get out of my office.”
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suechoiart · 5 years
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SU19 Internship_ Week 5+6
Starting again with a nerdy anecdote... My partner and I started working through Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, which is sincerely one of the best fantasy/(retro) sci-fi stories out there with a lot of heart. One of the biggest themes in the show is dependence - not in a toxic “co-dependency” way, but constant reminders that someone cannot do something alone ... This is often manifested in situations where absolute strength is helpless - e.g. the fire alchemist cannot use his flames during rainpours, and thus have to rely on his subordinates; a brilliant alchemist is helpless during a natural childbirth etc. .... (For reference, alchemy in this world might as well be magic- but a scientific one that requires equal amounts of resources to perform the transmutation.... Super cool stuff!) 
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Pretty cool spread of the major characters in the show - everyone shown here are in one way or another reliant and indebt to someone else. This echoes the larger theme of the show- that everything is connected, and alchemy reveals that. 
So, this week’s topic... workplace hierarchy and relationships! and ‘continuing education’! 
This week is a bit wordy so .... ellipses........
_ feedback 
A catalyst event for this topic was getting feedback from Scott. Essentially he let me do some work that he knew I couldn’t do perfectly (drawing elevations on CAD - something I do not have a lot of experience with) and gave me feedback on my shortcomings. At this point, I started to understand that the work (product) I produce at work (workplace) is external to myself- that critique to my work (product) is not the same as myself being critiqued, Had I not started to compartmentalized that, I would have probably been hurt from his through and fair feedback that was a great insight to creating better drawings. 
Anyway, that I thanked him for his critique later and we had a good conversation about feedback. He let me know that he’s been working on how to deliver his critique over his professional career, but also never ‘holds back’ on it, because dishonesty and passive feedback, hurts everyone on the team. (He also complimented me that I take feedback well...!!!) 
I’ve always been interested in management and business practices, so I’ve been trying to be acutely aware about workplace relationships and interactions at Firma, internal to the team. 
_ workplace hierarchy and relationship 
Firma has two employees: Scott (owner) and Sarah (landscape designer). I have not had a thorough discussion about what Firma is supposed to be, but it has been a duo more-or-less since the firm’s opening in 2015. Scott has hired interns regularly to supplement the work, but I do not believe there’s been a third employee yet. (Scott mentioned that he had the chance last year, then the work decreased- so not biting the bullet might have worked out.) 
From the 6 weeks I’ve spent with Scott and Sarah, I can definitely tell that both people are growth-oriented, smart, kind people. I can feel the trust that Scott and Sarah have for each other, and by extension the trust they have in me to find and accomplish tasks. This has been a very productive environment to learn in, and one that I am acutely studding. 
Scott does all of the business management side. The winter “extern,” who was at Firma for a week or two, had the impression that Scott focused more on the management side and Sarah did majority of the design work. I totally do understand that, though - Scott spends a lot of time answering emails, setting up and going through time sheets, and responding to clients. But he is definitely the final voice on a good majority of stuff- all material that goes out to the client goes through Scott.  Scott is approachable and available, although I’ve picked up that Sarah wants to make sure I go through her first- since Scott is handling a lot of stuff that we cannot do.
Sarah started at Firma more-or-less right after she graduated, and since then her presence on projects grew, along with her confidence and familiarity on workplace organization. If I have a question about absolutely anything, Sarah has the answer to them - and when she doesn’t, she’s not afraid to ask for Scott’s attention and feedback. 
Sarah’s and Scott’s growth in the history of Firma are evident. They both acknowledge failures in previous projects as lessons. For example, they spec’d a 3 gallon buckeye bush and received a tiny... tiny.. little twig! And from there, they’re cautious to include a height for shrubs in addition to the industry standard gallon sizes. Past projects are remembered as forms of cautionary tales and precedents, and used to inform current and future projects. 
_ workplace evaluation and more feedback 
Going back to critique and feedback - in our conversation, Scott said that he values honest feedback much more. He shared that he’s seen instances at Olin where the senior/manager held back on giving proper feedback. This lead to this unknown ‘critique’ of an employee being brought into the breakroom, and then being released onto the employee during evaluations. “Employee evaluations shouldn’t be surprises,” Scott told me (dramatically reenacted in my mind), and I became a better leader because he shared that story. 
Sarah did her workplace evaluation during the internship (I think around the anniversary of her date of hire). I don’t think that there was an in-person meeting to actually discuss workplace evaluation. She shared the templates with me. There are three parts: Performance Evaluation Form which speaks to professional responsibilities, accomplishments, and goals; Professional Development Form, which asks questions about skills and PD (talents contributing to the office and around the office). These forms are likely borrowed from Scott’s former office that had a lot more employees; but I value and appreciate that these evaluations are being used between Scott and Sarah. 
The questions and answers to these forms, like mentioned before, should not be a surprise to the evaluator or to the evaluated. But I think there’s something great about formalities and taking time to process and think through your work. 
_ conclusion 
My passion for workplace productivity and management processes come from my liberal arts background... Aristotle said, “Politics is happiness,” and that has taken one form as spatial design (landscape architecture) and another as workplace happiness. Oh, and, the shock of graduating from a liberal arts degree and confronting ‘adulthood.’ :( 
Working at Firma has been a great assurance that there are people who value work-life-balance without sacrificing the quality of work. Design school and academia, deservingly, infamous for being toxic.. and workplace happiness (it’s a workplace, dammit!) is rarely a priority. 
I hope to retain these experiences to change the school year into a more productive experience for my peers ... If not, to hold onto it and remind myself that I’ve only got one year left. 
CHEERS! 
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mrsteveecook · 6 years
Text
meal trains for coworkers in crisis, I have more experience than my resume indicates, and more
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. Meal trains for coworkers in crisis
I’ve appreciated your consistent message that gifts should flow downward, not up, which makes a lot of sense for holidays/birthdays/happy occasions. I’m curious about your thoughts on meal trains (or other forms of support) in times of crisis — is that in a different category than regular gifts? It feels different, but it definitely has all the same problematic potential in terms of lower-level staff feeling pressured to participate and to spend money and their free time on their higher-earning bosses.
I wonder how personal relationships factor in to this question. I work closely with my bosses in a workplace of only 15 people, and would absolutely participate in a meal train and be grateful for the opportunity to show support to any of my coworkers. But I have a friend who is in a big workplace who just participated in a meal train for a very high-ranking coworker. The recipient is in genuine need of support, but it seems troublesome that it’s coming almost entirely from subordinates, many of whom have very little or no personal relationship with the recipient (who is apparently very well-liked, so surely many of the meal train participants really did want to help out, but the invitation to participate went out broadly).
And where do meal trains for new parents fit into workplace gift-giving? That’s not quite a crisis, but still, many new parents really do need that kind of support too.
I do think that helping people in times of crisis is in a different category, and that the normal rules about workplace gifts flowing downward, not upward don’t apply. If someone loses everything in a fire and their coworkers who are lower in their work hierarchy want to contribute to helping them, I think that’s a case where we’re suspending normal workplace etiquette rules and shifting over to fellow-human rules.
That said, as you note, you’ve still got to keep an eye on it to make sure that there’s no pressure for people to contribute. The second there’s pressure to give, it triggers power dynamics, and now we’re back into workplace etiquette territory again. So I think if you want to keep it squarely in “help a fellow human in crisis” territory, it needs to stay pressure-free.
Meal trains for new parents are a different category. That’s not quite crisis but more normal life happening. I actually think a full-on meal train would be a bit much for most workplaces … and if the workplace wants to do something, a better choice is to send over pre-made, purchased meals paid for by the employer. Individual coworkers who are close to the new parent also might choose to do something helpful on their own, of course. (But where a bunch of people really want to do a meal train, I’d say they really need to ensure people aren’t pressured to participate, that the people signing up aren’t all subordinates. It’s also worth looking at whether they’re helping out new parents while ignoring anyone without kids who goes through a similarly trying time.)
There’s also a whole separate question here about whether everyone would want a meal train from their coworkers, but that’s a separate post.
2. Boss called employee and pretended to be from Child Protective Services
I am writing this on behalf of a friend, who I’ll call Wendy. Wendy works for a company that provides daycare, a perk for her. By all accounts, she seems to be a decent mom. One day at work, she received a call claiming to be from Child Protective Services accusing her of abuse and neglect. She was on the verge of a breakdown when the caller laughed and revealed herself to be her boss, Winnifred. Winnifred laughed over the “joke.” Wendy was shaken and disturbed, and wound up mentioning it to another coworker. Winnifred later called Wendy to her office and wrote her up for gossiping and taking the incident so seriously. Wendy has been advised to go to HR, but fears to do so due to possible retaliation. Could Wendy be fired for escalating this?
In theory, yes. In practice, it’s very unlikely, especially since HR is highly likely to intervene once they know the situation. The bigger risk is that she’ll face more subtle retaliation from her boss.
But she should go to HR anyway, because this is so egregious. It’s outrageous that Winnifred played this “joke” in the first place (although I hesitate to call it a joke because there’s nothing funny about scaring the crap out of someone and making them think their child could be taken away from them). But the fact that Winnifred then took formal action against Wendy for being upset about it takes this from “very bad” to “truly villainous.” If Wendy’s HR people are at all decent, she should tell them what happened.
3. We’re supposed to write our managers’ comments for our performance reviews
We got notified our annual performance reviews were upcoming this week. An interesting addendum to the notification reads: “This year we would like each employee to write up their manager’s comments, in addition to completing their own employee comments for each question. Our aim in doing this is to minimize the amount of administration involved for each of the line managers, who may have multiple employees’ reviews to write up. Each employee will need to take notes during their review, writing them up within the attached Word document, before returning them to their line manager. The line manager will then review and amend their comments, before copying and pasting them into the Manager Comments section of each employee’s review.”
Regardless of company size, this seemed odd to me. If a company employs an HR system, surely managers should expect a certain amount of administrative work — and an increase in that work when annual performance reviews are in progress? And wouldn’t a manager be expected to have the requisite time management skills to factor this extra work into their schedule? Not to mention, having to take notes for your manager while your own review is in progress is surely a questionable practice?
This is messed up. When I first read it, I wondered if they were doing this as a way to ensure that people process the feedback their managers are giving them — since saying “write this up and send it back to me” is a good way to check for alignment on important details. But if that were the case, I assume they’d say so — and besides, if they want to make sure that people get the right takeaways from the meeting, they could easily ask that people come up with 3-5 action steps based on the meeting, or something like that.
Instead they’re making it sound like it’s just a time saver for managers — which sends the message that managers can’t be bothered with something that’s actually quite important. (And yes, writing evaluations is time consuming and can be a pain. It’s still a really important part of the job.)
Either way, it’s a pretty awful idea. You want to be really focused and processing during an evaluation meetings, and while taking notes can definitely be part of that, you don’t want to be so focused on writing down every detail that you can’t engage in a real conversation. There’s also something a little demeaning about it, frankly. This is problematic all around.
4. I have more years of experience in a skill than my resume indicates
I have recently been applying to a lot of places, and I want to make sure I am not messing something up. When applying to jobs on sites like Indeed, often they will have a little questionnaire asking, for instance “How many years experience do you have doing X?” The answer to that may be something like seven years, but my resume shows only four of those years, as three years of that experience was before what would appear on my resume. I feel like they ought to know how a disparity like that would happen, but I worry sometimes that they might see that it doesn’t match and think I was lying. Thoughts?
You should put the full number of years of experience you have — but then you also should give them a version of your resume that reflects that experience as well. If they’re asking about years of experience in X, that means that they really care about experience in X … and so you’d want it on your resume as well as in the application questionnaire. If that older experience is from 2003 and your resume only goes back to 2008 and you really don’t want to have to list your llama wrangling job from 2006 that you got fired from (or most other jobs pre-2008, because you’re trying not to clutter it up with less relevant stuff), you can just add a section toward the end called “Additional Relevant Experience” and list the relevant job there (without the other older jobs).
5. How to reconnect with an old interviewer when looking for a job
During my undergraduate degree, I participated in a co-op program where I had several paid work terms as part of my degree. I was fortunate to attend the largest co-op school in the world, so the volume of job opportunities and subsequent interviews was typically quite high. Even in circumstances where I didn’t get the job, it was great to connect with different interviewers and get a buttload of experience. During my last work term hiring cycle, I had an interview with a person we’ll call Joe, who worked in a local office of a major company that is primarily dedicated to product development and innovation. I didn’t secure the position (lack of experience in that specific role), but he followed up with afterwards to tell me what a stellar candidate he thought I was but they required someone with more technical expertise. He included several resources I could use to strengthen my abilities and offered to introduce me to a recruiter at another major company. He concluded the email with “Feel free to reach out if you have any other questions or if I can be of further assistance.” This all happened in March of 2017.
I am now doing my master’s and, as a part of my program, I have to lock down an internship in May 2019. I’m still really interested in the work that Joe does at his office and I want to reach out to him and see if they’ll have any opportunities available. However, I don’t know if too much time has transpired and he won’t remember who I am. It also feels like I’m already doubting myself if I start an email with “I don’t know if you remember me but….” and I want to appear confident. How would you suggest I approach this?
You absolutely can! It’s possible that he won’t remember you, but that doesn’t mean he won’t be receptive if you refresh his memory and it’s still totally okay to do. You might even send your email as a reply to that helpful email from him last year so that he has the context right in front of him, and open it with something like, “You interviewed me last year for an X position and were kind enough to explain later that while you needed someone with more technical experience for that job, you’d be open to talking in the future. You also generously sent me some really helpful resources (below, to refresh your memory). I’m writing now because…”
You may also like:
the rules you need for office gift-giving (which your coworkers are probably violating)
my boss gets angry when I won’t share my food with her
Boss’s Day is total BS
meal trains for coworkers in crisis, I have more experience than my resume indicates, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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alamante · 6 years
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Former FEMA official Corey Coleman allegedly created a “toxic” environment of sexual harassment at the agency, according to a Monday report.
 (FEMA/Aaron Skolnik from National Archives Catalog)
The administrator of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) on Monday said the agency had a “systemic problem going on for years” after its former personnel chief was accused of facilitating sexual harassment in the workplace.
Brock Long, who’s led FEMA since June 2017, told The Washington Post that a seven-month-long internal investigation found that Corey Coleman, who oversaw the personnel department from 2011 until he resigned in June, operated a “toxic” environment within the agency. A summary of the investigation was released Monday; it did not name Coleman but FEMA officials told The Associated Press the report referred to him.
TAXPAYER PIGGY BANK LETS CONGRESS SETTLE SEXUAL HARASSMENT CASES IN SECRET
Coleman, the former deputy personnel chief of the U.S. Secret Service, reportedly hired his friends and romantic interests, and promoted them “without going through proper federal hiring channels” despite their lack of qualifications.
The former chief allegedly shuffled women across departments so that his friends could have sexual relationships with them, employees and a FEMA official told the newspaper.
The Post reported it could not reach Coleman for comment.
“What we uncovered was a systemic problem going back years,” Long said, adding that “the biggest problem I may solve here may be the eradication of this cancer.”
He continued, “How many complaints were not heard? I’ve got to make sure we have a safe working environment for our employees.” Long noted he’s referred several cases to the inspector general of Homeland Security to investigate what could be criminal sexual assault.
Agency officials said the inspector general’s office had received complaints about Coleman previously — Long said the alleged misconduct dated back to 2015 — but the complaints were forwarded back to FEMA to investigate.
Many of the friends or others whom Coleman hired remain at FEMA, according to the report. Long said many human resources department employees left the agency because of Coleman’s “unacceptable leadership style.”
In addition to hiring his friends, Coleman also allegedly had sexual encounters with two subordinates who accompanied him on work trips.
LES MOONVES, TOP CBS EXEC, ACCUSED OF SEXUAL MISCONDUCT IN BOMBSHELL REPORT
One of the women, after she rejected a relationship with Coleman, reportedly was denied a promotion at the agency and attempts to fire her were subsequently made. The woman reportedly told Coleman she might be willing to see him again, and she was able to keep her job.
The second woman with whom Coleman allegedly had a relationship told investigators he created a job within the agency for her and admitted she was unqualified, the newspaper reported.
Coleman reportedly was transferred to other FEMA offices during his tenure at the agency because, according to Long, the morale within his department was “so bad.”
The Associated Press contributed to this report.
Nicole Darrah covers breaking and trending news for FoxNews.com. Follow her on Twitter @nicoledarrah.
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newssplashy · 6 years
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Opinion: A rough rehearsal, a suicide and a broadway show in turmoil
NEW YORK — The text came in on a Thursday afternoon. The director of “Chicago,” the second-longest-running show in Broadway history, wanted to see the sole remaining member of the opening night cast the next day.
It was an unusual request. The cast member, Jeff Loeffelholz, an understudy who in recent years rarely performed, hadn’t met with the director in a long time.
The encounter was brief, but, for Loeffelholz, unsettling. In notes he jotted down and in text messages to a friend, he said that the director had been “brutal” and that the musical director had criticized his performance. At the end, Loeffelholz wrote, the director told him to “respect the production,” which he interpreted as a suggestion that he should consider quitting.
Six days later, Loeffelholz killed himself.
It is rarely possible to know exactly why someone takes his own life, and suicide generally has multiple causes.
But the death of Loeffelholz on June 29 has rattled the cast, crew and creative team of one of Broadway’s marquee shows.
“It’s something that has really unnerved the whole company,” Bruce Bonvissuto, a trombonist in the orchestra, said. “It’s really been a very difficult period to go out and do a show every night.”
However complex the causes of Loeffelholz’s death may be, widespread discussion of his final rehearsal has brought new attention to the way theatrical creative teams wield power in an era of increasing concern about how managers treat subordinates in the workplace.
“Since Jeff’s tragic death, we have heard from a new round of Equity members that bullying is still far too common in the theater, despite our work on harassment prevention,” Mary McColl, executive director of Actors’ Equity, the union representing performers and stage managers, said.
Some have taken to social media to detail instances in which they felt mistreated or abused. “Backstage bullying is essentially Broadway’s dirty little secret,” Robert DuSold, an actor, wrote in a blog post about Loeffelholz’s death.
The show’s producers, director and musical director all expressed sadness over Loeffelholz’s death; the production and the director declined to comment on details while investigations are underway, while the musical director said she has always behaved professionally.
An investigation is being conducted by Actors’ Equity, which hired a lawyer to review the death and said it would share the results with the cast. The producers hired their own lawyer to investigate, but then decided to “rethink the process,” according to a spokesman, after that lawyer complained about a lack of cooperation from the cast, some of whom were suspicious about whether the show’s inquiry would be objective.
Anger has been directed at the producers and directors, but whether that is fair is a difficult question. Broadway, the mountaintop of theater, is by nature a demanding place. Tough rehearsals happen all the time.
And Loeffelholz, at 57, was dealing with the kind of career and life pains every actor goes through — indeed, the pains that many everyday workers go through. He was not getting any younger, and his character, a small but demanding role, was not getting any older. He and his partner had also lost control of a chocolate shop they ran in Rockefeller Center and were fighting with the owners.
But no one — not his friends, not his partner, not his bosses, and not his colleagues — seemed to know the depths of his despair until he was found, near death, in his apartment.
— Dream Role for an Unusual Talent
“Chicago,” a musical satire about a group of murderous women seeking to parlay their notoriety into careers in vaudeville, is among the best-known shows Broadway has produced; a 2002 film adaptation was the rare musical to win an Academy Award for best picture. The current Broadway revival — the original ran for two years in the 1970s — opened in 1996, and has been performed more than 9,000 times, grossing $625 million thus far; the show is also running in London, and has had multiple tours. Only “The Phantom of the Opera,” which opened in New York in 1988, has been on Broadway longer.
Loeffelholz was an unusual figure in the “Chicago” milieu — a standby for the character Mary Sunshine, a journalist with a soft spot for sob stories who is played by a male soprano dressed in women’s clothing. Loeffelholz’s responsibilities involved calling in eight times a week to see if he was needed, and, if not, staying near the theater while the show was running. When the revival opened, he signed a standard contract guaranteeing him a job for the life of the show; such a provision was not unusual, but most productions measure their life spans in months rather than decades.
The role was a dream for Loeffelholz, a theater lover who could sing high notes most men cannot reach. He brought a comic flair to the part, and took pride in the enormous applause he routinely received when his character is revealed to be a man.
"It was the perfect role for him — it fit his voice and it fit his personality,” a cousin, Donna Wynn, said.
Loeffelholz’s domestic partner, Peter De La Cruz, said the couple chose their apartment to be near the Ambassador Theater, where “Chicago” is performed, so he could dash over when needed, and when they would eat out, they would choose a restaurant in the neighborhood. “He loved it,” De La Cruz said. “Sometimes he would go on midway through the show. You have to have nerves of steel, and he did.”
Loeffelholz was born and raised in Norman, Oklahoma. His father, Ray Loeffelholz, died by suicide at the age of 23, about three months before Jeff Loeffelholz’s birth, according to a friend and a news report at the time. His mother died, apparently of a heart attack, at 45, when Loeffelholz was in college; he sang “You’ll Never Walk Alone” from “Carousel” at her funeral.
Jeff discovered theater in high school, and studied drama at the University of Oklahoma. In college he got experience performing in women’s clothing — appearing in drag in one of the plays that became “Torch Song Trilogy” — and began developing his soprano, at first as a way of mimicking the divas he adored.
“He lived as if in a musical,” said a friend, Bart Ebbink. “Certain songs would fit a situation he was in, and he would burst into song.”
Upon graduation, he, his boyfriend and Ebbink piled into a car and drove to New York. They found an apartment in Astoria, Queens, and embarked on new lives; in 1986 he met De La Cruz, who was with him until his death.
Loeffelholz began performing in comedic cabaret acts where he would sing songs normally performed by women — at first in “Soprano Showstoppers,” and then, with Michael Tidd, in “Dangerous Duets.” He played Mary Sunshine in summer stock in Potsdam, New York, years before landing the Broadway standby role.
In the revival’s early years, Loeffelholz went on as Mary Sunshine many times, but in recent years he was rarely used.
Under the contract, Loeffelholz could be fired only for cause. He could be bought out — a step that would have cost the budget-minded production, which has used tight cost controls to continue running for 22 years, about $30,000 to $40,000, according to his friends.
Adrian Bryan-Brown, a spokesman for the production, said “the amount of a buyout would not be a limiting factor in making decisions that benefit the production” and that “the producers had no reason to buy out Mr. Loeffelholz.”
— Called in Before Rehearsal
Loeffelholz feared that the production no longer supported him, and he was worried when he was asked to come in just before a full-cast rehearsal, on June 22, to work with the show’s director, Walter Bobbie, and musical director, Leslie Stifelman.
Bobbie, 72, is an admired stage veteran with 21 Broadway credits as an actor, director and writer; he won a Tony for his direction of “Chicago.” Stifelman, 58, was a “Chicago” pianist who in 2003 was elevated to musical director; she conducts the onstage orchestra and speaks a few lines of dialogue. She has described the cast as family, and even met her wife, Melissa Rae Mahon, through the show.
Loeffelholz had no real relationship with Bobbie, and he felt that Stifelman didn’t like him, friends said.
“He thought something might be up,” said Brian Rardin, a close friend and Tidd’s partner.
Loeffelholz texted Rardin during breaks in the rehearsal, and jotted down notes afterward. “Walter was Brutal and I feel like it was a set up directed towards me personally!” he texted to Rardin. “They made me do the song about 5 times at one point he got mad and walked out.”
In the notes Loeffelholz left, he said that, as he repeatedly sang Mary Sunshine’s big number, “A Little Bit of Good,” Bobbie asked him to “quit overperforming it and being draggy”; said he couldn’t hear the song’s lower notes; and described himself as “very disappointed” and “very upset” before leaving the auditorium. Stifelman then said she wanted to work on the middle section of the song with Loeffelholz, saying “you always do it wrong,” according to his notes.
Much of his description was confirmed by witnesses who heard parts of it, but asked not to be identified because they feared endangering their positions with the show. Bryan-Brown said those descriptions “do not represent our understanding of the events of that day” but declined to be more specific while the investigations are ongoing.
According to Loeffelholz’s notes, he and Bobbie had a brief final conversation at the lip of the stage, which none of the witnesses heard. He wrote that Bobbie had asked him to “respect the production,” said “I cannot tell you what to do, but 22 years”; said that he did not agree with run-of-production contracts; and said “you make more money than I do with this production.” (Bryan-Brown said the actor did not out-earn the director. Loeffelholz made an estimated $106,000 a year, the current Broadway minimum.)
Stage rehearsals, of course, can be demanding, and repeating a song or scene is common; witnesses said the interaction with Loeffelholz was not as tough as some they had experienced at “Chicago,” and a stage manager’s report that day noted nothing unusual. But the Mary Sunshine song is taxing for the male voice, and the exchange hit Loeffelholz hard. He was in a dark mood by the time he got home. “He was definitely upset, depressed, despondent,” Tidd said.
The following Monday, Loeffelholz met with a representative from Actors’ Equity, the union, to report the interaction. But over the next few days, he remained out of sorts. “He said, ‘I have a scarlet letter,'” De La Cruz recalled. “He was so mad that they took this route.’
On Thursday evening, Loeffelholz sent a round of texts to friends, saying “I love you”; wrote “No joy” on a notepad; and then swallowed a lethal amount of alcohol and pills. When De La Cruz got home from work, he found him unresponsive; the next day he was removed from life support. The medical examiner ruled the death a suicide.
— Backstage Despair
Determining the cause of suicide is, of course, difficult. Many people are treated roughly at work, and even lose their jobs, without killing themselves.
Loeffelholz had experienced some financial stress. After working at, managing and investing in a Teuscher Chocolates shop in Rockefeller Center for years (he would often bring Champagne truffles to “Chicago”), De La Cruz was laid off and Loeffelholz resigned in 2016, when the shop’s owner moved to bring in new leadership. The couple sued Teuscher, and the case is pending in state court.
“They weren’t struggling, but they were worried, and the stress of being an older performer on Broadway is tremendous,” said the couple’s lawyer, Juan C. Restrepo-Rodriguez.
“Chicago” performers interviewed said that, although they were stunned by Loeffelholz’s suicide, they were not surprised by the incident that preceded it. Multiple current and former musicians, most speaking anonymously because they feared retribution, said Bobbie could be intimidating and Stifelman could belittle or disrespect performers.
“She would regularly be cursing, slamming things, and trash-talking musicians and performers,” said Dan Peck, a musician who previously played the bass and tuba for the show. “And whenever Jeff was on, despite the audience loving him, she would be throwing shade and rolling her eyes.”
Stifelman, who has stayed away from the show since shortly after Loeffelholz’s death, disputed the descriptions, saying in an email, “In two decades working at “Chicago” I’ve trained hundreds of performers with the utmost of professionalism and respect and any insinuation to the contrary is just not true.” She said she never told Loeffelholz “you always do it wrong.”
“No words can ever begin to express how profoundly saddened I am by Jeff’s passing and for all that Jeff’s family and friends are going through,” she said. “In the 20-plus years I have worked for the producers of Chicago, my job has been the music, never hiring or firing, and in all that time without incident.”
She has support from Rob Fisher, the show’s original musical director, who said, “I’ve never seen her belittle or humiliate, and it’s hard for me to imagine that.” Fisher also said “everybody loved Jeff,” but added that the role of Mary Sunshine “is not something that people can do for 22 years — male vocal cords can’t sustain singing in that range.”
Bobbie declined to comment, but his union, the Stage Directors and Choreographers Society, released a statement on his behalf. “With two investigations ongoing, it is not appropriate for our member Walter Bobbie or for SDC to discuss the tragedy,” the statement said. “Walter is deeply saddened by Jeff Loeffelholz’s death and offers his sincere condolences to Jeff’s family and loved ones.”
Bryan-Brown said the production had received no prior complaints about Bobbie or Stifelman.
Initially the producers, Barry and Fran Weissler, named as their investigator a lawyer, Judd Burstein, who had represented them, leading some performers to believe he would not be objective. Many performers refused to meet with him, and another lawyer, Bruce Maffeo, appointed by Equity to conduct a separate investigation, discouraged such meetings. When Burstein publicly objected, and said Equity was in “circle the wagons mode” because of its own handling of Loeffelholz’s concerns, the Weisslers decided to reconsider how to proceed.
“It is important to them that both the unions and the company have confidence in the process for investigating the matter,” Bryan-Brown said.
Loeffelholz’s friends are hoping the investigations will have an impact.
“We want the whole truth,” said Marshall Coid, the “Chicago” violinist. “We seek change in his name as a fitting legacy for a wonderful and much-beloved man.”
While the investigations proceed, family and friends are planning an Aug. 7 memorial at St. Malachy’s Church, known as the actors’ chapel, where Loeffelholz, who was raised Catholic, would occasionally attend Mass.
And in a backstage stairwell at the theater, there are two tributes to Loeffelholz. In one corner is a shrine with candles, photos of Loeffelholz, and a plastic bag holding his body mic. And on the next landing, cast and crew have begun writing in iridescent markers on a black wall words expressing their hopes for change: “Love.” “Kindness.” “Support.” “Respect.”
This article originally appeared in The New York Times.
Michael Paulson © 2018 The New York Times
source http://www.newssplashy.com/2018/07/opinion-rough-rehearsal-suicide-and_30.html
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13 Everyday Things You Do That Can Get You Sued (and How To Protect Yourself)
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13 Everyday Things You Do That Can Get You Sued (and How To Protect Yourself)
Sharing a funny picture online
Cassie Urban/rd.com, ShutterstockLove that funny meme that’s been going around? Resist the temptation to share it on your Facebook or Instagram, as taking pictures from the internet and posting them to your blog or social media can open you up to a copyright lawsuit, says Tanisia Nicole Moore, a virtual intellectual property lawyer at Moore Legal Solutions, LLC. “We are all guilty of sharing an image online, but what most people don’t realize is that these images are protected through copyright law,” she explains. “The owner of the image can then sue you for using their work without permission.” This is true even for images that don’t have a watermark or visible copyright symbol or were posted years ago, nor does it matter if you weren’t the original person to share the image. These online-sharing copyright lawsuits have exploded in recent years, and any person who posts any picture or video they don’t personally own is vulnerable to getting sued for thousands of dollars for a goofy cat picture they posted ten years ago.
Protect yourself: Only post your own pictures or videos that you’ve taken yourself with your own equipment or purchase an image from a reputable stock photo site. And whatever you do, stop passing on funny pictures or videos others send you and immediately delete any existing on your social media accounts, even if they’re years old.
Slamming your ex on Facebook
Seasontime/ShutterstockYou may think you’re just venting to friends by sharing sordid details about an ex lover or friend on Facebook, but if there’s any part of what you’re saying that might not be 100 percent true, the law sees it as “defamation”—and you can be sued for it, says Paul H. Cannon, attorney and shareholder at Simmons and Fletcher, PC. “Social media has become such a common part of life that people forget that anything you write on social media is a publication, so if you write a false statement about someone online and it causes them harm to their reputation or financial loss, you can be sued for slander,” he explains. It’s true: In 2012, a Texas couple was awarded 13.8 million dollars after someone defamed them online.
Protect yourself: “As hard as it is, the best way to avoid a slander or libel lawsuit is to keep your criticisms to yourself,” he says. Or if you have to vent, don’t do it in writing and especially not online.
Laughter is always the best medicine. For a good guffaw, check out our library of lawyer jokes.
Leaving a bad Yelp review
Tero Vesalainen/ShutterstockIf you’ve ever had a bad experience at a business your first instinct may be to go online and share all the dirty details. On one hand, this can help you get the problems resolved and help other customers avoid getting taken for a ride by unethical business owners. But this can also open up innocent businesses to undeserved hate and loss of revenue.”As humans, we sometimes have a tendency to get outraged when we do not think we have been treated fairly. This can lead to embellishment of what really happened,” Cannon says. “However you may find yourself sued for libel if you leave a very bad review.”
Protect yourself: Before hitting “submit” on your diatribe, ensure that all the statements you make about a company are verifiable facts that you can prove rather than your opinion about the company, Cannon says. If you must share your opinion, preface it by saying “in my opinion,” he adds. Always follow these etiquette rules for complaining on social media.
Getting hit by another driver
iMoved Studio/ShutterstockThink that because you’ve got basic car insurance you’re good? You may be meeting the requirements of the law but you may still be vulnerable to lawsuits if you don’t carry enough “underinsured motorist” coverage. Ironically, you can end up being sued by creditors if you’re in an accident caused by another driver who has no or not enough car insurance, says Andrew Winters, personal injury lawyer with Cohen & Winters, PLLC. If your insurance isn’t enough to make up the difference, you can end up with large out-of-pocket payments that you can be sued over if you don’t have enough money to cover them, he explains.
Protect yourself: Buy at least as much underinsured motorist coverage as you would need to replace ten years of lost wages, he says. For most people this means having an umbrella insurance policy, making sure to select underinsured motorist as part of that coverage.
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Posting your kid’s dance video on YouTube
LightField Studios/ShutterstockProud parents gotta post proud videos, right? That’s all well and good, as long as you’re not including copyrighted music—say, in a dance recital, impromptu living room jam session, lip sync battle, stage play, or other popular kid activity, Moore says. You can be sued for stealing intellectual property and, no, posting “I don’t own the rights to this song” with the video or crediting the artist doesn’t excuse you. “I usually chuckle when I see this disclaimer, as this means nothing,” she says. “I know adding music to our videos helps set the mood, but you need to be careful not to infringe on the songwriter’s rights.”
Protect yourself: Don’t use music in your videos, or stick to songs that are considered royalty free, Moore says.
Putting in a backyard pool
Golden Pixels LLC/ShutterstockSwimming pools can be a highlight of summertime. After all, who doesn’t love to jump, swim, and dive into the water on a hot day? Unfortunately this is also what makes your pool an “attractive nuisance” to neighborhood children. If a child comes onto your property and is injured or, heaven forbid, drowns while swimming in your pool, you can be sued, says Christopher Earley, a personal injury attorney in Boston. This is true even if you’re not home and you did not give them permission to swim, he adds.
Protect yourself: Keep your pool covered when not in use, surround it with a locked fence, and post “no trespassing” signs.
Selling your crafts online
Alim Yakubov/ShutterstockFor hobbyists, the internet is the greatest invention since sliced bread. You can connect with others who share your passion, get tips, and even sell your products—turning your favorite hobby into a profitable side hustle. However, if you’re going to sell things online, be warned that you are in charge of securing and protecting all your customers’ data, even if computers aren’t your thing. “Cyber security is potentially the next big area of lawsuits we’re seeing in the U.S. and abroad,” says Nicholas Dowgul, attorney at Felton Banks, PLLC, in Raleigh, North Carolina. “If you own a website and you do nothing (or not enough) to prevent cyber attacks, you could be sued for negligence if your customer’s data is compromised and they suffer damages as a result.”
Protect yourself: Don’t skimp on online security. Hire a professional to make sure your website is secure or use a service that exists for the purpose of helping people sell things securely online, like Etsy or eBay. And make sure you’re not falling for these common money scams.
Asking your coworker about their recent surgery
Dmitri Ma/ShutterstockWorkplace banter has become a hotbed of controversy lately and it’s more important than ever to make sure all your comments are kind, courteous, professional, and can’t be misconstrued, Dowgul says. If someone, particularly a subordinate, is offended by something you say, your company may be held liable and, depending on the situation, you could also be personally sued and/or fired, he explains. “You may think it’s nothing more than playful banter or good-natured ribbing but someone else may see it as discrimination or a hostile work environment,” he says.
Protect yourself: Keep conversations with employees cordial and mainly about work. It’s okay to ask someone how their weekend went, but don’t pry into details of their personal life, he says.
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Getting married
KirylV/ShutterstockIt’s sad but true: One of the happiest events in your life is also often one of the most common, if not the most common, reasons people get sued. No one wants to think that their true love will end in bitterness but it’s something you need to consider before walking down the aisle. “The fact is that about 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce and most divorces involve a messy lawsuit,” says Paul Mitassov, a lawyer practicing in Toronto, Canada.
Protect yourself: “Prenuptial agreements will minimize your risk exposure,” he says. “Get one.” It’s not the most romantic conversation you’ll have with your fiancee, but it may be one of the most important. Just make sure yours is a good one, unlike these ridiculous prenups.
Getting tagged in a picture on Instagram
Adam Hoglund/Shutterstock“Social media is the new ‘paper trail’ and the worst part is most people don’t even realize they are making one,” says Nicole Sodoma, family law attorney and Managing Principal, Sodoma Law. What may seem like a fun vacation pic with your new love can give a lot of unintentional information like your location, clues to your wealth, and your current relationship status—all of which can be used to sue you, she explains. “For example, posting a cute picture with your girlfriend to Facebook before your divorce has been finalized can result in an ‘alienation of affection’ lawsuit, impact an alimony claim, hurt settlement negotiations, and much more,” she says. This is true even if you don’t post the picture yourself, like when a friend tags you without your knowledge. These are other photos you should never post on social media.
Protect yourself: It’s tough in this age of oversharing but ideally take a social media break for anything personal, she says. And, don’t forget that text messages and emails are considered evidence too.
Tagging someone else in a picture on Facebook
kurhan/ShutterstockFrom a legal standpoint, social media is the source of all evil these days. Not only can getting tagged in a picture open you up to a lawsuit but so can tagging others, says Kevin Adkins, attorney with the Kenmore Law Group. “Many people may post a slew of photos to their Facebooks or Instagrams and tag everyone in them but if you don’t have their permission you can get hit with a lawsuit,” he explains. Everyone has “the right of publicity,” so if you produce or share their likeness without their permission, or post pictures of them in a way that gets them in trouble (like tagging a picture of a friend drunk at a party, which causes them to get fired from their job), they could sue you.
Protect yourself: Always ask for permission before you tag someone in a picture, he says. Or, better yet, don’t tag anyone and tell people to tag themselves if they like.
Taking a video at the park
Ivica Drusany/ShutterstockWhen something scary, interesting, or upsetting happens, your first instinct may be to pull out your phone and start recording the scene. Unfortunately these videos may be illegal and open you up to a lawsuit, says Thomas J. Simeone, lawyer with Simeone & Miller, LLP, in Washington D.C. “People take videos all the time these days and routinely include strangers or unsuspecting people in the content, but if you live in a ‘two-party’ state you must have permission to record a conversation or else you could be sued, even if the recording was inadvertent,” he explains. “This includes not only videos taken in public, but also security camera [footage].”
Protect yourself: Don’t record people without their permission; and when making a video be careful not to include bystanders.
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Walking your dog
Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock“Many people believe that if their dog has never bitten anyone in the past, they cannot be liable the first time that it does, which is a myth,” says Simeone. In most states, if your dog previously displayed any aggressive or violent tendencies, such as barking at strangers and cars—which nearly all dogs do—that could make you liable for a later dog bite, he explains.
Protect yourself: Always keep your dog on a tight leash, he says. If your dog does bite someone, one of the first questions that will be asked is whether the dog was on a leash, as many cities have mandatory leash laws, the breaking of which makes you liable. Even in the absence of such a law, failing to have your dog on a leash can be used to argue that you failed to control your dog and prevent the attack.
For a lighthearted take, check out these 19 serious court cases with hilarious names.
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healthnotion · 6 years
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How to Handle a Promotion
You’ve been in your job at work for a few years, and for almost as long you’ve been angling for a promotion to a higher position. One day the desired slot opens up, and your boss calls you into his office to let you know you’ve got the job. You’re excited, of course. As you should be! But you also feel a bit of trepidation. Even though you’ve thought a lot about getting this promotion, you haven’t really thought much about the reality of what your new position will entail. How will you handle it, particularly being put over folks who used to be your peers? You’ll be managing the folks you used to complain with; you might now be “the man” that folks want to complain about.
Many promotions mean moving up a corporate ladder and managing people you previously worked with on the same level. That’s just how business hierarchies work. Even if you were already a manager, maybe you moved up a rung and are now leading other managers. No matter the scenario, there’s often some awkwardness and politics to navigate.
(Granted, that’s not all promotions. Sometimes you just get a new title, a salary boost, and some new responsibilities, without moving into a new management role. In those cases, your transition is probably a little more straightforward.)
If you’re in a new position where you’re being asked to oversee your former peers and/or current friends, here are a few tips on how to handle that transition smoothly and successfully:
Celebrate! (But Quietly)
You’ve earned a promotion! Huzzah! You should rightly celebrate. Get yourself a new suit or briefcase, go out to a fancy restaurant with your family and/or friends, and take some time to appreciate that your hard work paid off.
But, don’t do those things in front of your coworkers (possibly now your subordinates). Take a pass on the victory lap around the office and the shouts of “Yippee! Suck it, losers!” Wear your new suit to work, of course, but don’t brag about it as a prize to yourself for getting promoted. Don’t mention to your office mates that you had the most expensive, best tasting steak in the world last night. Play it cool, man. Rubbing it in their face, especially if it’s someone you don’t really like, might be exactly what you want to do, but won’t get you started on the right foot in your new position.
Acknowledge the Change
Just because you won’t celebrate your promotion in the face of your coworkers doesn’t mean it has to go totally unacknowledged. It’s not a bad idea to briefly meet face-to-face with the folks you now manage and have a conversation about what the relationship might look like moving forward. You might say something like:
“Of course things are a little different now, but, as your manager, I want nothing more than for you to succeed. Don’t hesitate to come to me with any issues you might have; my goal is to provide you with training, skills, oversight, and an environment that promotes your own success here. Here’s my vision for our team and how we’ll operate . . . Do you have questions or concerns right off the bat? Are there any changes you’d like to see made in how things are run?”
Operate With a Clean Slate
If you’re now managing some of the people with whom you were once equal peers, it might be hard to forget some of the shenanigans they participated in: the company-sponsored networking event where Bill had a few too many drinks; the time Rob called in sick, but you know he was really just at home watching March Madness (and texting you the whole time).
Now that you’re managing these people, what do you do? The best tactic is to wipe the slate clean of any past misdeeds. That doesn’t mean looking the other way in the face of future poor etiquette or the breaking of company rules, but it does mean you should forgive and forget things that might have happened before you entered your new role.
You Have More Responsibility Now; Act Like It
While a promotion sure enough means a salary boost and sometimes a new office that’s all yours, it also means greater responsibility. You might now have access to more sensitive information, or even just greater access to higher level folks in the company. You’re probably being watched a bit more by both your superiors (not micromanaged necessarily, but in a “can he handle this?” sort of way) and those you’re now in charge of.
If you used to regularly be 5-10 minutes late, make it a habit to be 5-10 minutes early instead. If you used to commiserate with your peers about lame company policies or engage in gossip about your coworkers, make it a point to stay away from those conversations. In a higher level position, your example means a whole lot more. If you’re occasionally showing up late or gossiping, people will take that to mean that it’s okay to do those things.
Also be sure you aren’t sharing privileged information with those who aren’t privy to it. Maybe you now know the CEO’s salary, or you found out some weird quirk of his that would make your buddies laugh — hold it in. Take the responsibility of the new position seriously.
Don’t Be Hurt If You’re Treated Differently . . .  
It’s inevitable that your relationship will change with your former work pals when you’ve been promoted, especially if you’re now directly managing them. Don’t be surprised if you aren’t invited to happy hour, or if breakroom conversation lulls when you show up. There’s a power dynamic in place that just can’t be ignored; your old pals don’t want to put themselves in any sort of compromising position. It’s a hard truth, but something you’ll just have to accept. You don’t want to be the supervisor who desperately wants back in with his old crew.
Your interactions might be a little more stilted, but if you work at making everyone feel comfortable and like they’re heard, you can maintain the good relationships you had before, albeit with slightly different dynamics.
. . . In Fact, You Should Establish Some Boundaries
Even if your coworkers are okay with you still joining them at the water cooler or going out to eat together for lunch, it might be a good idea to intentionally remove yourself — at least a little bit — from those scenarios. If you’re now the boss, maintaining a relationship that’s purely friendly won’t lend you the authority to deal with problems when they come up, be they minor things (like subordinates taking slightly long lunch breaks) or serious (like needing to fire them). Your leadership in general can come in to question if your relationship doesn’t change in the least bit.
If you disengage from casual chit-chat, and say yes to fewer lunch invitations, you’ll start to cultivate that air of authority that you may need in your new position. It’s not necessarily fun, but again, just comes with the territory of having more responsibility. Embrace the change, and take it as a chance to expand your social life outside the office. Workplace friendships are great at times (in fact you need a work pal!), but don’t tend to be the longest-lasting or most meaningful.
Now, if you’ve been promoted to a different division or office and you aren’t directly overseeing the people you once worked with, there’s nothing wrong with maintaining those relationships as you did before.
Make Changes Slowly
If you’ve been promoted, it might be because you’ve had some great ideas that have been implemented, and you have even more in this new position about how things should operate. Be careful about changing things too quickly though. Even if some systems and processes are outdated, you don’t want to change up how things have been going for years and years until you’ve been in your new position for a little while. For the new guy on the job to make wholesale fixes will seem foolhardy to others — like you don’t have enough experience to fully appreciate what’s going on. And really, that’s true. Problems will often look different from the inside than they did from the outside; you’ll find out some nuances and complexities you formerly weren’t privy to.
So take some time to get the lay of the land and get used to your new position before you go about making big, sweeping changes. When you do, it’ll seem more measured rather than an impulsive need to change things for the sake of changing things.
You don’t want to step on any toes or damage any relationships before you even get started.
Learn What You Have Yet to Learn
Chances are good that as you move into a new role, you’ll realize you have a lot to learn. You were likely in your old position for at least a couple years, and in that time, you came to know your daily processes and the ins and outs of your job like the back of your hand. You just intuitively get into a real groove after a period of time, and you’ve likely forgotten how much you had to learn and how rough the going was at the very start.
Now in a new role, even within the same company, you’re sort of starting from scratch again. You have new systems to learn, new supervisors to get in sync with, and most likely, new skills and managerial techniques to hone. 
Especially if you’re brand new to managing people, you’ll need to learn how your team works best and what motivates them, both individually and as a cohesive unit. You’ll also need to bone up on conflict resolution, negotiation, delegation, etc. This is another reason you don’t want to make sweeping changes right off the bat; you may have a lot to learn, especially about how your team operates, and you don’t want to jump the gun before you have enough facts or skills under your belt.
Act Like You Belong
When you’re promoted, even if you’ve worked hard at getting there, it can feel like you don’t quite belong — like you’re faking it or pulling one over on your higher-ups. The reality, though, is that you did work hard, and you were chosen for a promotion for a reason. Don’t be timid or demure about the new role; act like you belong there. Fake it until you make it, and assume the mask of command.
Consider even changing your style to reflect the new position. Maybe in your old role you wore the classic office uniform of khakis and a polo or long-sleeve button-up shirt. Now that you’re moving up the ladder, consider subtly upping your wardrobe a level as well, even and especially if you don’t have to. Add a blazer or two to the mix, level up your shoes and other accessories, and heck, even wear a suit now and then (as long as a suit is just one notch or so above what everyone else is wearing; you don’t want to rock one when the workplace uniform is jeans and a polo; in that case, know how to rock a sports jacket with jeans).
Your new duds will not only function as a signal of authority to others, but to yourself as well, helping you psychologically step into your new role and key into a more confident mindset.
Mentor Your Subordinates
Support the people under you as much as possible and help them get better at their jobs. Take the time to teach; don’t just tell them what to do, but show them how to do it, and explain why they do it. Offer praise, both privately and publicly. Listen to their ideas, and if they’re good, pass them on to your own supervisor.
Such mentorship benefits your subordinates, but it benefits you too; the higher-ups won’t likely give you another promotion until they feel confident someone in your department is ready to take your place. As you help those under you move up, you help yourself move up too!
The post How to Handle a Promotion appeared first on The Art of Manliness.
How to Handle a Promotion published first on https://mensproblem.tumblr.com
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Weinstein-Wary Businesses Updating Employee Dating Policies
Visit Now - http://zeroviral.com/weinstein-wary-businesses-updating-employee-dating-policies/
Weinstein-Wary Businesses Updating Employee Dating Policies
It happens in so many workplaces — two colleagues begin a romantic relationship. But a heightened awareness about sexual harassment means small business owners can get more anxious when employees start dating. Many owners have consulted with employment attorneys or human resources professionals since the accusations against movie executive Harvey Weinstein in November. Some owners have created or updated their policies on dating and sexual harassment, and they’re making sure staffers know the rules and to speak up if they feel harassed. Bosses who in the past just watched with interest as a relationship blossomed are being proactive, telling couples that if the romance sours, both people are expected to behave appropriately. And some owners are even asking couples to sign statements acknowledging that their relationship is consensual. Sammy Musovic has seen many romances — and breakups — at his three Manhattan restaurants. After the reports about Weinstein and others, Musovic consulted with an attorney to understand what his legal liability could be if an employee relationship led to harassment charges. He decided against changing his policy that allows dating, but he’s keeping a closer eye on interactions between employees. “When I know staffers are dating, I speak to each of them in private and just try to understand the situation,” says Musovic, who owns Sojourn, Vero Bar and Selena Rosa. A few years ago, a manager at one of his restaurants dated a hostess, and became jealous when he saw her chatting with customers. “I told them, `You guys have to stop this or someone’s going to have to find another job,”’ Musovic recalls. The manager quit. On another occasion, Musovic fired an employee who wrote unwanted love letters to a co-worker.
Setting Expectations
Jacqueline Breslin, an executive with HR provider TriNet, is fielding more questions from businesses that want to know how to handle employees dating. The first step is often to determine whether companies have policies on dating and sexual harassment; if not, they need to be written. Dating policies should set expectations for staffers’ behavior, such as that emotions should not be displayed at work. Policies must also address issues like relationships between supervisors and subordinates. Some owners might be tempted to ban employee relationships altogether. But people attracted to one another may still date on the sly. And strict policies can backfire — talented employees may choose love over a job and leave. Problems can also arise when employees want to date clients or vendors. Those relationships have the potential for conflicts-of-interest as well as harassment issues. Ashley Hunter’s dating policy rules out relationships between her eight staffers and vendors of HM Risk Group, an insurance company based in Austin, Texas. “If you’re in a billion-dollar business, you can weather those problems, but I can’t,” she says. Hunter is especially sensitive to issues around dating co-workers, having been in a romantic relationship with her chief financial officer for three years. He’s worked at the company for nine months, and everyone at the company knows of their relationship. One option for owners is to have dating staffers sign what’s called a relationship contract, stating they’re in a consensual relationship and that they’ve read and will abide by the company’s written policy on sexual harassment. Kate and Doug Hickey had two employees at Honolulu-based coffee grower Sunshower Farms — a supervisor and subordinate — who began a relationship in 2013. They had the couple sign a contract saying if the relationship ended and they couldn’t work together comfortably, one would have to resign. “We did this mainly to protect ourselves” in the event of a breakup, says Kate Hickey, who was an attorney and drafted the contract. The couple eventually married and moved away. If a similar situation arises again, Hickey says she would probably consult an attorney who has more expertise about sexual harassment and draft a “more detailed” contract. Many bosses may not even be aware of a relationship until someone mentions it. HR professionals say an owner should approach the couple, discuss the situation, and if the company requires a relationship contract, have them sign it. More complicated is when an owner suspects there’s an attraction or budding relationship — when’s the right time to step in? There’s no one answer, but a boss should certainly talk to the employees when it’s clear there’s a romantic connection. A greater concern is what to do if the romance ends. As long as there’s no sign of a problem, the boss should respect everyone’s privacy. But if one person keeps pursuing another, an owner needs to be on alert. “The person who’s repeatedly asking for an unwanted date needs to be told, `This is against company policy and we don’t tolerate this kind of harassment,”’ says Michael Schmidt, an employment attorney with Cozen O’Connor in New York. Even if unwanted contacts take place off the company’s premises or on social media, a boss needs to intervene, Schmidt says. Businesses can be liable if they don’t address potential harassment because employees might feel they’re in a hostile working environment, Schmidt says. Even business owners who have been part of workplace romances say they’re warier now. Marianne Bertuna was an intern and then an associate in Arthur Aidala’s small New York law firm, starting in 1997. Aidala was attracted to her, but told himself, “This is a work person and nothing is going to happen.” He married someone else. Meanwhile, two attorneys who were dating joined the firm and eventually married. But now, Aidala says that if any employees start a relationship, he would tell them, “You need to proceed with caution because there are a lot of lives on the line here.” And Aidala himself? He got divorced, and he and Bertuna became a couple. In 2016, they got married.
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ronaldmrashid · 7 years
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Sexual Harassment At Uber Reminds Us That HR Is Not Your Friend
One of the key takeaways from my book, How To Engineer Your Layoff, is understanding that the Human Resources department is not on your side. First and foremost, the HR department is there to protect the company from liability. After such protection is made, maybe then HR will help a troubled employee with a problem.
My experience comes from being a manager at a major financial organization, having to work with HR to hire and lay off staff, negotiating my own severance, and consulting with dozens of people about negotiating their own severance since publishing my severance negotiation book in 2012. Your best strategy is to befriend HR but hold sensitive information close to heart right before making a move.
Because Uber is the most successful startup of all time at its current stage, it’s always going to be a target. The latest damning news about the company comes from Susan Flowers, a former engineer at Uber who penned a post called, Reflecting On One Very Strange Year At Uber. You should read the post if you are an employee, manager, woman, startup entrepreneur, or work in HR. You should also read the post if you’re a bored entrepreneur crazy enough to think that going back to work will make you happier!
Susan writes that she was sexually harassed at Uber and denied upward mobility due to being a woman. This is not a surprise for those of us who have experience working in Silicon Valley, an area dominated by socially awkward men who’ve suddenly become hot stuff due to their computer engineering skills. Here’s an excerpt from her post:
On my first official day rotating on the team, my new manager sent me a string of messages over company chat. He was in an open relationship, he said, and his girlfriend was having an easy time finding new partners but he wasn’t. He was trying to stay out of trouble at work, he said, but he couldn’t help getting in trouble, because he was looking for women to have sex with. It was clear that he was trying to get me to have sex with him, and it was so clearly out of line that I immediately took screenshots of these chat messages and reported him to HR.
Clearly, this type of behavior from a manager is NOT OK. The manager should be fired for trying to take advantage of a subordinate. No employee should ever have to feel uncomfortable going to work.
However, if your goal is to survive an organization’s politics, immediately reporting your manager to HR for any grievances could be a suboptimal career move. Instead, it’s important to consider CONFRONTING your oppressor first, spelling out exactly what it is s/he is doing that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Yes, confrontation is sometimes scary, but it is a must to help save your skin. Most oppressors don’t get confronted because the majority of people they maltreat are terrified to stand up for themselves. It’s so much easier to report someone than work out difficult and unsuitable situations yourself. Heck, trying to solve difficult situations is why most people quit instead of engineer their layoff.
But what you’ll find is that once you stand up to your oppressor, he should get the message and back off. The bully now knows you won’t stand for his bullshit, and if the bully continues, he knows he’s putting his career and reputation at risk.
One confrontation hack I used when it was time for me to face someone at work was envisioning what type of power this person or senior employee had over me OUTSIDE of work. The answer was always nothing. He was just another regular chump.
Here are more excerpts from her post highlighting how Susan continuously reported everything she felt was wrong to HR:
Things were beginning to get even more comically absurd with each passing day. Every time something ridiculous happened, every time a sexist email was sent, I’d sent a short report to HR just to keep a record going.
Less than a week after this absurd meeting, my manager scheduled a 1:1 with me, and told me we needed to have a difficult conversation. He told me I was on very thin ice for reporting his manager to HR.
California is an at-will employment state, he said, which means we can fire you if you ever do this again. I told him that was illegal, and he replied that he had been a manager for a long time, he knew what was illegal, and threatening to fire me for reporting things to HR was not illegal. I reported his threat immediately after the meeting to both HR and to the CTO: they both admitted that this was illegal, but none of them did anything.
With each HR reporting, Susan trapped herself in an increasingly difficult position because HR was building a case for the company, and not for her. The only thing Susan could do was leave Uber after one year, which is EXACTLY what HR wanted. Any HR department would prefer a disgruntled employee leaving quietly on his/her own versus having to deal with the complexities and negative ramifications of settling a legal case.
Unfortunately for Uber, Susan took to the internet to air her grievances and caused a massive backlash by reviving the #DeleteUber hashtag on social media. If HR and management had properly addressed the issues earlier, Susan would never have publicly blown up the company.
If Uber is valued at ~$66 billion based on the last round of funding, this negative PR could EASILY wipe away at least $1 billion in market value as consumers switch over to Lyft or other means of ridesharing transportation. Perhaps the damage is actually much greater given a reputation takes a tremendous amount of time to rebuild.
Hiring former attorney general, Eric Holder to lead an investigation into claims of sexual harassment and discrimination is totally a PR move, and the wrong one. First, if they want to hire anybody to investigate, it should be a woman. Second, how much investigating do you really need when you can easily find out who Susan Fowler’s HR manager was who repeatedly ignored her reports?
See: Massive Reputation Destruction Is Why Negotiating A Severance Is Possible
Understand The Role Of Human Resources
Most employees think of HR as a department that handles the onboarding of new employees, ensures everybody plays nice with each other and helps struggling employees do better. The reality is the HR department’s primary purpose is to protect the company and senior management from liability. The second goal of HR is to ensure the company is as successful as possible given their own careers are at stake.
Employers need workers to grow a business. But employers also realize that with each worker they hire, there’s a risk the employee might cause problems within the organization. HR is there to try and smooth things out before things reach extreme levels, e.g. settlements over lawsuits.
It is true states such as California have “at-will” employment laws, which mean a company can choose to lay off an employee whenever they want. But seldom are companies so ruthless as to lay employees off without proper documentation. Documentation is why it often takes at least one review and six months before a company will lay off any employee because if the employee ever sues for wrongful termination, the company can show they highlighted the performance issues and gave the employee a chance to improve.
The reason why Susan’s first manager wasn’t fired immediately after being reported was because he was deemed a “high performer.” Uber HR determined the manager was more valuable to the company than his transgressions. Clearly, this shows that HR is on the corporation’s side, and not on Susan’s side.
With each HR reporting, HR builds a case that Susan is a weak, easily offended employee, who isn’t willing to talk things out and play nice with others. HR can basically manipulate their interpretation of Susan’s reporting as they see fit to protect the company and its highest performers.
The HR rep began the meeting by asking me if I had noticed that *I* was the common theme in all of the reports I had been making, and that if I had ever considered that I might be the problem.
Do not think for one second that everything you reveal to HR will be kept confidential and won’t be reported to your manager or someone in a position to determine your future.
I won’t discuss details about my experience with HR when subordinates were unhappy. All I can say is that I knew what unhappy subordinates were saying to HR because HR told me. And I’m sure there are things I don’t know from HR that were told to my managers because they deemed me a liability if I knew too much.
Instead of hiring the former U.S. Attorney General, Uber should reprimand or fire the HR manager for not properly managing Susan’s situation after repeated reports. But that would be too logical!
Your Goal As An Employee
Do these simple things if you want to survive workplace politics and get ahead.
1) Read your employee handbook. I’m constantly surprised that most people have never read their employee handbook. It is loaded with great information to your benefit. If the information is in your employee handbook, that means it is gospel. HR/management cannot go back and argue against whatever thing you did if it is OK per the handbook.
2) Keep meticulous records of perceived transgressions. Document everything you think is wrong. This includes inappropriate e-mails, texts, conversations, events. But keep everything private until you really need to talk. Your highly organized documentation will serve as your ammunition during any bargaining process.
3) Build a relationship with your office HR manager. If you can get your HR manager to be on your side, you’ve got a powerful ally because she will help you navigate the land mines. It’s human nature to help people you like. HR people are no different. Take her out for coffee. Ask about her vacation. If she has a family, inquire about their health. Hopefully, you really do build a great relationship. If not, at least make it clear you are a hard working, thoughtful, and caring employee. HR does have the power to speak on your behalf and make recommendations about your future with the company.
4) Confront your oppressor and talk things out. People who oppress in the workplace are sometimes CLUELESS about their actions. Because nobody tells them they are being weird, sexist, rude, or whatever, they continue to act inappropriately because they believe whatever they are doing must be OK. One strategy is to just take them out for lunch or coffee on you. You can disarm them with your generosity, making it much easier to share what’s on your mind. Bottling things up and exploding is not healthy. And reporting your manager to HR when everything you say could get back to your manager can be a risky, career limiting move. Stand up for yourself and talk things through.
5) Know your leverage. If you’ve come to wits’ end, then leaving is probably your best option. Leaving quietly is one way to go about things. Leaving through a lawsuit is another way. But the best way is to engineer your layoff so that both parties get something, i.e. go through mediation. The reason why I was able to earn a severance and keep five years worth of deferred compensation is by knowing my leverage and having a dialogue. After 11 years at my firm, I knew that if I left, the revenue I helped generate for the firm would decline by multiples more than the cost of my employment. Therefore, I came up with a plan to transition my clients to my subordinate over a two month period to help them minimize any losses. I also made it clear to my employer that I wasn’t going to a competitor, which made negotiations much easier.
2015 German study
Things Can Usually Be Worked Out
Please think twice before firing off every transgression, perceived or otherwise, to HR. That could set you up for failure. Instead, confront your terrible co-worker and clearly delineate that which is bothering you. If that doesn’t work, speak to a manager you think you can trust to help you. Speaking to HR is sadly the last resort.
As good fortune would have it, Susan landed on her feet at Stripe, another richly valued startup. It was wise of Susan to light Uber’s barn on fire after she solidified her position. Who’s going to dare bother her now?
Related:
Career Advice For Women: Blaze Your Own Path Instead!
Is Your Nose Brown Enough To Get Ahead?
How To Get Revenge From An Employer Who Fired You 
Readers, what are your thoughts about Susan’s case? Is there anything she could have done better to improve her situation? Why aren’t the HR people at Uber who let this slide not being accused? Could it be because HR works for senior management and not the employees? Why don’t more people confront their workplace oppressor if they are at wits’ end? Have you ever been sexually harassed or felt extremely uncomfortable at work? If so, how did you deal with the situation?
from http://www.financialsamurai.com/sexual-harassment-at-uber-reminds-us-hr-is-not-your-friend/
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