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pennylanefics · 3 years

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Soft Alphabet v.2 - Michael Gray

a/n: this is a second version of the soft alphabet format. i had a different set of words for my alphabet blurb event, and i thought this was a good way to get back to writing stuff :) who do you wanna see next??

warnings: the letter x is a bit steamy

A - Attention (how much attention they give you/when they do/what they do)

it really depends on his mood. most times, mainly during the week, his attention is on work, even when he’s home. on the weekends, though, he is all over you, as much as his ego allows him to, honestly. he tries so hard to get away and work on a couple things, but you always force him to go into town with you to either run errands or shop or to the pictures.

B - Baby (do they want a family/how are they as a father)

michael never imagined having children. before he met you, he got charlotte pregnant, and everyone knows how that ended. so he promised himself to always be safe. but when he met you, literally everything changed. he was so smitten and so in love with you, and his thoughts were constantly consumed with the idea of having kids with you. and these thoughts only intensified when he saw you with john’s kids. surprisingly, he’s an amazing father. he’s so attentive and protective, if something is wrong, he is right there, changing them or entertaining them.

C - Certain (when did they realize they wanted to be with you)

when you stood up to arthur, by yourself. when you were first introduced to his extended family in the early stages of your relationship, arthur wouldn’t stop making comments about you. ranging from you are really a whore in disguise as michael’s girlfriend, to you being ‘ugly’ and not one to fit in with the family. you were growing tired of it, so you shouted at him to shut up, not thinking twice about it. everyone was silent and michael just stared at you in awe. arthur thankfully wasn’t angry, he just smiled and nodded his head at michael. “she’s a keeper.” michael couldn’t agree more.

D - Doubt (what happens when you or him doubt your relationship/being together)

when he starts to become distant well into your relationship, you question if you should even be together. he rarely came home, he never gave you answers when you asked him something, and he focuses more on work and the company. you ran to polly when you had no idea what to do anymore, and she assured you that he gets like this sometimes, and it’s not because of you. she then has a stern talking to him and that’s when he realizes that he’s been hurting you. she doesn’t tell him everything, she leaves you to do that, and in that time, you mention how you’ve been feeling abandoned and wondering if your relationship was worth it.

E - Emergency (how do they react to you being hurt/in danger, vice versa)

when you get hurt, it’s the end of the world for michael. one day, you got in a car accident with ada. she walked away without a scrape, but you were left with multiple bandages and a cast on your arm. when polly told michael the news, she had to hold him back from yelling at ada and the doctors treating you. he wanted to see you, but you were still out from being in surgery. he spent the night in the waiting room, not leaving until he saw you and knew you would be okay. when they finally let him in, he’s holding your hand, crying, saying he loves you over and over again.

F - Family (introducing each other to your families)

he was hesitant about introducing you to his family. i mean, they’re the shelby’s and the peaky blinders after all. it was well into your relationship before you were introduced to tommy, arthur, ada, and finn. on the other hand, you were quick to bring him home to meet your family, about a month into your relationship. he was beyond nervous, knowing everyone in the city knew that he was related to the peaky men. so he was obviously scared of your mother or father judging him. but it went great and they absolutely loved him. your younger siblings even wished he would come back soon.

G - Grief (comforting one another in rough times)

when john gets killed, he’s so distraught. he has nightmares, he sees john and hears him sometimes, it’s rough. he’s never experienced loss like this, and even though he only knew john for a short time, they bonded really well, so it was obviously hard. you were by his side every time he had a bad dream, letting him either talk it out or just hold him while he cried. you knew it was serious in the times that he cried because michael...doesn’t like showing emotion. so you made sure to comfort him and hold him tighter during those times.

H - Hold (holding each other/holding others/holding pets)

the first time michael holds you in his arms, you never want to leave. his touch and his warmth is so inviting and cosy, if you could, you would live in his arms. that’s what you loved about nighttime, when he finally allows himself to relax after work. you’ll light a few candles to set more calming mood and lay with each other. you will read by yourself while michael just closes his eyes, or you’ll put some music on and talk about your day. whatever it is, michael has his arms around you and close to his chest, and it’s the perfect way to end a day.

I - Insomnia (what you/they do when either of you can’t sleep)

when you can’t sleep, either you or michael makes a cup of tea and sits in the living room, on the couch. michael tends to be a heavy sleeper, so it’s usually you who makes the cup for yourself. but, there are nights where work or personal problems keep michael up, and you, being the light sleeper, stay up with him. he tells you every time to go back to sleep, he’ll be fine, but you ignore him and sleepily chat with him until he tires himself out.

J - Jewelry (gifts they give you, fancy or not)

once you are introduced to the shelby’s, they are always pushing michael to get you fancy ass gifts. you were never the type for super fancy jewelry or anything like that. you wore a couple rings every day and a special necklace from your grandmother, but you didn’t like anything flashy. so when michael shows up at your house with a beautiful diamond necklace, you don’t know what to say. he looks a bit lost and nervous giving it to you, so you know right away that either tommy or arthur, or hell, even isaiah, picked it out and gave it to him to give it to you. but nonetheless, you wore it and cherished it because it was “from” him.

K - Kryptonite (their weaknesses)

your touch. whenever you put your hands on michael, in a sexual way or not, he is putty in your hands. this can be you rubbing his back while at an event or party, or your hands running up his chest as you kiss him. the feel of your fingers on his skin makes him lose his mind. so much that he tries to hold your hand when you’re out in public because he can never control himself if you happen to touch anywhere else on his body.

L - Lingerie (their reactions to seeing you in fancy lingerie)

for your first year anniversary, you wanted to do something special for michael. so, you and ada went shopping for some new, lacy lingerie. you spent close to an hour trying to decide on the perfect one, which you ended up getting a baby blue set. after a fancy dinner at your favorite restaurant, you and michael headed back to his place, which he had to himself for a few days. he was getting ready for bed, not expecting anything else, when you step into the bedroom, stripped down to the new set you bought today. his eyes widen and he sits down on the bed, gazing at you up and down. his jaw drops and he moves back a bit. you stand in front of him, teasing his lips with your finger. a smile appears on them as you quietly tell him you got this special get up just for him. and it’s off within minutes.

M - Marriage (what a wedding is like with them/what married life is like)

being apart of the shelby family, they have to throw you and michael a huge wedding. it’s not what you wanted, but you went along with it, knowing they liked the excuse to party. your family wasn’t too fond of the night, some of your cousins having gotten into fights with members of michael’s family. it wasn’t good, but that didn’t matter to you. being married to michael was so much more different than dating. he is so much more attentive and cautious about what he says and how he acts. he knew that before you could have left at any moment and nothing would have mattered, but now that you’re legally together, it would be much more difficult and be a lot more scandalous if you were to get a divorce. and michael doesn’t want that at all.

N - Nervous (were they nervous for any first times in your relationship: first meeting, first kiss, first time)

surprisingly, your first kiss, he is super nervous about. right away, he knows that you’re a really special person, and having kissed only one girl before, when he was young, he didn’t want to do something wrong or gross or uncomfortable. he of course had to get tips from isaiah, who was actually no help, and just made michael more nervous. but when the time came, you took control of the situation after sensing that he had no idea what he was doing, and it was so sweet that he went in for another.

O - Overreact (how often do you/they overreact and how bad does it get)

michael overreacts all the time, unfortunately. early on in your relationship, anytime you asked him something relating to work or his family, which he rarely mentioned, he always got mad. he accused you of wanting him for his money or job or family, wanting to be apart of it when you have no idea what they do. you put him into his place every time, though, and he apologizes as soon as he realizes he fucked up.

P - Past (how does their/your past affect your relationship)

he has a lot of emotional trauma when it comes to his adoptive parents. he never mentioned that he spent 17 years of his life not knowing his real family, and it only ever came up when polly told michael that his adoptive mother died. you sat there dumbfounded, confused as to what she was talking about. michael walked out of the room to collect his thoughts, and polly ended up telling you everything. later that night, when you and michael were settling down, you cautiously asked him about it. he surprisingly told you his side of the story, the entirety of it. you were up well into the night, just listening to him recall what he went through. he breaks down at some point, so you comfort him for the rest of the time, turning the topic of conversation to something different.

Q - Quarrel (fighting with each other)

if he’s stressed out from the business, you tend to fight more. he takes his anger out on you, not in a physical or mental way, but when he gets home from a stressful day, you’ll ask him a simple question like why he’s home so late or what he wanted to do the following day, he blows up. and after knowing michael for a while, you know when he means what he says and when he doesn’t. in those times, he never means it. but in more serious fights, that somehow always have to do with his family, he’s genuinely upset. those fights last much longer and you can go days without saying a word to one another.

R - Romance (how your relationship has progressed over time)

in the beginning, it was quite slow. it took you a few weeks to get used to the idea of being in a relationship, for both of you, so it was pretty awkward at times. but once you started feeling more comfortable and more open with one another, it was great. michael was always telling you he loves you and whispering sweet things in your ear, any place, any time of the day. for your one month anniversary, he got you a big bouquet of flowers and a few small gifts. he kept up with that tradition, so every month, he got you a new set of flowers and a new set of gifts.

S - Sorry (what happens after fights)

you try to make michael apologize when he’s truly in the wrong. you never want to apologize for something that he started. and as soon as he realizes you’re not going to break, he comes running to you and says sorry, and you always ask him if he knows what he’s sorry for. apologies are usually long, since you take that chance to talk your problems out and strengthen your relationship.

T - Tender (how sweet they can be in different moments)

when you’ve been together for a long time, he gets super sweet during nights off of work. when he’s not stressed out and more relaxed. he’ll give you cuddles close to his body, kisses all over your face and down your neck, sometimes even escalating to full body kisses. he always giggles when doing so, making it such a tender moment between the two of you. he can be so loving yet so playful in the same moments, and those are the times you cherish the most.

U - Upset (what you do that upsets them/vice versa and how they react to it)

when you talk down on yourself. michael hates it. he hates that you compare yourself to other women, especially his family like ada and esme. the idea of someone as beautiful as yourself not believing it was beyond him, and he always got sad when he hears you. to help make you feel better, he’ll just hold you in his arms and whisper little things that either you do or about your appearance that he absolutely loves. he never wants you to think less than what you are, so he always takes it into his hands to cheer you up.

V - Violence (what you do when they turn to violence)

unfortunately, being a peaky man, he resorts to violence way too much. you spend lots of your time cleaning him up, when he allows you to. he attempts to hide in his office from you when he’s in decent condition, knowing you’ll make a big deal out of it. if he’s in horrible condition, tommy or arthur, or most times it’s isaiah, will drop your limping boyfriend off, unable to take care of himself. you are silent while you clean the cuts all over him, tending to his bruised eye or cheek, wiping the dried blood away. nights like those usually end with michael apologizing for making you take care of him. you kiss him sweetly and tell him you’ll talk about it in the morning.

W - Wait (how long they wait to make a move or do something)

it surprisingly took michael quite a while to make a move to even talk to you. when he first arrived in small heath and had a night out with his newfound family, he saw you from across the bar. tommy told him to not talk to you, since you were the daughter of a rival group of the peaky blinders. well, your dad and tommy and arthur didn’t like each other. so, every time michael saw you at the pub or out in town, he avoided you like the plague. but one night, he was out with isaiah, and he forced michael to talk to you, getting sick of his ogling and drooling.

X - X-Rated (are they dirty in inappropriate times)

michael is filthy. let’s be real. he will fuck you anytime, anywhere. in his office, in the private room of the garrison, any room of yours or his house, alleyways even. but, the times where he’s the most inappropriate, is in the privacy of your bedroom. there, he can be as dirty as he can, spanking you, choking you, pulling your hair, any kind of things both of you enjoy. plus his words make cry out in pleasure every time he talks.

Y - Year (what you do to celebrate one-year celebrations)

the first birthday of your daughter was extravagant, to say the least. she was a peaky baby, after all. tommy insisted on hosting a party at his manor, with just the family, but still, they went all out. lots of decorations, lots of presents, a big cake, music playing. she was so happy to be around her favorite people and you and michael were filled with love as you watched her interact with these tough gangsters; they all turned soft and sweet when around her. needless to say, she was out before the party even ended, full of cake and worn out from giggles.

Z - Zzz (what it’s like to sleep with them, just sleep)

sleeping with michael varies. some nights, he wants or needs his space so he’ll lay on his side or back, leaving you by yourself for warmth. he radiates tons of heat, so not being in his arms leaves you freezing cold during the winter, especially. but when he does hold you, it’s your favorite. he holds you close and if you’re curled into his chest, he nuzzles his face into your hair. if you’re spooning, he nuzzles his face in your shoulder, often pressing kisses to your skin. right before he falls asleep, he’ll whisper that he loves you and he’s so lucky to have you.

#michael gray #michael gray imagines #michael gray x reader #finn cole #finn cole x reader #imagines #fanfiction #fanfic

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tomeandflickcorner · 3 years

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Falcon And Winter Soldier Episode 5- My Thoughts

Oh boy, this one might be a bit longer than usual. There’s a lot to go through in this episode. As always, spoilers under the cut.

It immediately picks up after Walker brutally murdered Nico in that crowded square. We see he’s taken off running, and ends up in some deserted warehouse of some kind. For a moment, you almost think he’s starting to grasp the gravity of what he’s done, but he’s then plagued by memories of his time with Hoskins, which only leads to him further slipping into insanity and convincing himself that he did what was necessary. That’s when Bucky and Sam enter the scene. They quickly figure out that Walker’s off his rocker. Particularly when Walker tries to justify his actions by claiming that Nico was the one who killed Hoskins, even though it was clear that Karli was the one who killed him. They do their best to try and help him realize that revenge is not the same as justice, but Walker isn’t willing to listen. Sam, slipping into councilor mode, attempts to calm him down. Unfortunately, if his words were having any affect on Walker, it all went downhill fast when Sam told Walker to hand the Shield over to them. Because Walker firmly believed the Shield was his rightful property, so he was not about to willingly give it up. So Bucky and Sam have no choice but to take the Shield back by force. At one point during this fight, Bucky gets momentarily dazed upon getting thrown into some sort of circuit breaker box, which also seems to briefly cause his vibranium arm to short-circuit. Of course, Sam can’t really hold his own against a crazed Super Soldier one-on-one for long, and Walker eventually has him pinned to the ground. He even destroys Sam’s Falcon wings. But just before Walker could actually kill Sam- yeah, he was actually about to kill Sam there!- Bucky recovers and rejoins the fight. Together, Sam and Bucky manage to pry the Shield away from Walker’s tight grip. Though they have to break his arm in the process. But even then, Walker isn’t backing down. Because he still firmly believes HE is Captain America. It takes a pretty awesome combo move from Bucky and Sam to take Walker down. Because not even a Super Soldier can withstand getting swung into a jet-packed fueled blow from the Shield. With Walker defeated, Bucky pretty much places the Shield at Sam’s feet, effectivly giving it to him once again, before walking off without a word.

So, after that pretty epic battle, the episode allows the characters, and the viewing audience, a chance to catch their breaths. Karli and the Flag Smashers have pretty much gone underground, making it impossible for anyone to locate them. Not that the government doesn’t try, as they conduct raids to all the GRC facilities that housed them, and even arrest the people that offered them shelter. But still, no sign of Karli anywhere. So Bucky and Sam decide there’s not much more they can do, particularly since they’ve been benched by the government officials. Even so, Sam still wants to do what he can in seeing this whole thing to the end. So he asks his friend and associate, Joaquín Torres (who we haven’t seen since Episode 2), to keep him posted. Although, Sam also leaves his broken wingsuit with Joaquín. Which is probably a reference to the fact that Joaquín took up the mantle of Falcon after Sam in the comics.

Of course, there’s still the loose end of Zemo. Bucky manages to track him down in Sokovia, at the memorial that was put up in honor of everyone who died there during the events of Age of Ultron. Which does make sense, since Zemo’s wife and children were among the casualties.

Now, I gotta pause for a moment to talk about something here. During the Previously On segment for this episode, we got reminded of a scene from a previous episode, in which Zemo seemed to be trying to shame Sam and Bucky for not ever visiting the memorial themselves. Maybe it’s me, but that seems kinda unfair. For starters, Bucky and Sam weren’t even involved during the events of Age Of Ultron. With Sam, I don’t think he was officially an Avenger at that point. He was part of the reserve team, if anything. And Bucky was in Romania, trying to reacquaint himself with his true identity while hiding from both the CIA and what was left of Hydra. Even if that wasn’t the case, when exactly were they supposed to visit the memorial? As of the events of Civil War, Sam was on the run as a fugitive alongside Steve and Natasha. And Bucky was in Wakanda, either in cryofreeze or going through mental rehabilitation. And then they both got dusted at the end of Infinity War, meaning they were erased from existence for the next five years. So when exactly could they have visited the Sokovia Memorial to pay their respects? Of course, I do get what the episode was trying to say, since the Avengers didn’t really do much in offering Sokovia any sort of relief efforts. (Though you could also argue that Tony should have been the one to handle that, considering the whole situation with Ultron was his own fault. And goodness knows he had the monetary means to do something, with him being the billionaire and all. But I guess that’s all semantics.)

Anyway, Zemo tells Bucky that the only way they can hope to stop Karli now is by killing her, but Bucky tells him they’re going to try to do things their own way. At this point, Bucky aims a gun at Zemo’s head. But it’s soon revealed that Bucky had previously made sure the gun was already empty when he shows that he’d removed the bullets beforehand. Which I guess was his way of showing Zemo that he was wrong about him. And that Bucky, despite being an enhanced individual (something that Zemo clearly hates), still chose to spare his life. At this point, the Dora Milaje show up, with the intention of bringing Zemo to the Raft, that prison we last saw in Civil War. Before Zemo is escorted off, he tells Bucky he took the liberty of crossing his name out of Bucky’s book, and that he doesn’t blame Bucky for doing what he thought was right. Wow, how magnanimous of him, right? Shame he couldn’t have extended this same level of courtesy towards the rest of the Avengers.

Still, I guess this means we’ve seen the last of Zemo. At least for now. Eh, good riddance, I say. I personally hope we never see him again, While I do sympathize that he lost his family, I still don’t like him in the slightest. On the other hand, I did like that Ayo indicated that Bucky is at least partially forgiven for helping break Zemo out of jail. Sure, she does tell him that he should still stay away from Wakanda for the time being, but she is calling him White Wolf again. Which indicates that their friendship wasn’t broken beyond repair. Before they part ways, however, Bucky tells Ayo that he has one more favor to ask of her.

Here, the episode begins to focus on Sam as he begins to head back home to Louisiana. But first, he makes a detour back to Baltimore, in order to sit down and really talk with Isaiah. Which enables us to really learn exactly what happened with him in the 1950s. Turns out, he didn’t get injected with the Super Serum knowingly He and a few other Black men were essentially used as guinea pigs, in which they were told they were being given tuberculosis shots or something when it was actually an experimental recreation of the Super Serum. But it seems that, for some reason, the other Black test subjects begin displaying some manner of unfortunate side effects to the Serum, which suggested it wasn’t stabilizing with them. Only Isaiah was able to successfully transition into a true Super Soldier like Steve Rogers. So when the other Black test subjects were captured behind enemy lines (because this was the time of the Korean War), the US government were simply planning to drop bombs on the POW camps, in order to prevent word of their little experiment from getting out. When Isaiah found out what they were planning, he took it upon himself to get those men out of there, in a similar manner to what Steve did in the first Captain America movie. Except he was rewarded for his bravery by being locked up like a criminal, with the US government conducting experiments on him to try and figure out why the Super Serum worked with him and not the other test subjects. They even told Isaiah’s wife that he was dead while making sure he never received any of the letters she’s sent him. In the end, Isaiah only escaped because this nameless nurse took pity on him and helped him escape by essentially faking his death. This backstory really is sad and tragic, especially when you realize it’s partially based on an actual historical event. Just try looking up the Tuskegee Experiment sometime. It’s really messed up. Anyway, Isaiah finishes his sad story by telling Sam that, regardless of what he might believe, the world hasn’t changed that much. And that not only will the world never accept a Black man as Captain America, no self-respecting Black man would even attempt to take up the mantle because of how America has always treated men like them.

With that advice still weighing on his mind, Sam returns home to rejoin his sister, Sarah, and his two nephews, AJ and Cass. So now we’re getting back to the subplot from the first episode, involving the failing family-run fishing business. It seems Sarah is still thinking it’s time to throw in the towel and simply sell their family’s fishing boat. The main issue with that is, because it’s all run down and in need of serious repair, nobody would even consider buying it. Fortunately, Sam has an idea. Remembering how their parents, who apparently died some time ago, had been long-standing pillars in the community and had often offered aid to their neighbors, Sam makes a few phone calls and gets the whole community to come pitch in and help repair the old fishing boat, thereby repaying the previous kindness of Sam and Sarah’s late parents. One of the neighbors even comes by with a brand new engine for the fishing boat. But then, just as Sam is wondering how they’re going to manage getting the heavy-looking boat engine off the back of the truck, Bucky appears out of nowhere, using his Super Soldier strength to effortlessly lift the motor up over his shoulders.

Bucky explains his presence away, stating he’s only there to drop off a crate for Sam, which clearly came from the Wakandans. It’s implied the contents of the crate have something to do with the favor he asked of Ayo. But then, Bucky ends up sticking around to help Sam fix up the fishing boat. Cue a boat repairing montage, complete with a song playing over the whole sequence. Bit bizarre we’re getting something like this in the penultimate episode, but it’s still pretty enjoyable. Particularly since we get to see Bucky and Sam actually bonding as themselves. And yes, there does seem to be vague implications that there might eventually be something between Bucky and Sarah. Although, I don’t know if I necessarily ship it. At least not yet. I’d need to see more of them interacting with each other besides just seeing Bucky saying ‘hi’ to her a few times before I make up my mind. Granted it would be an interesting thing to explore of course. Particularly since, to my knowledge, it would be the first biracial couple featured in the MCU. Unless you count Peter Quill and Gamora, of course. (And that brief thing that was going on between Peggy and Jason Wilkes in the woefully short-lived Agent Carter series.) At present, though, I think Bucky’s obvious affection towards Sam’s family seems more tied to his own memories of his life before WW2. When he wakes up the next morning on the couch (because Sam invited him to crash at the house instead of finding a hotel room somewhere), a genuine smile appears on his face when he catches AJ and Cass playing around with the Shield in the living room. Those of you who have read Bucky’s bio in the MCU wiki might remember that Bucky was the oldest child of four, so seeing AJ and Cass might be reminding him of how he used to play with his younger sisters. And interestingly enough, Sam’s sister’s name is Sarah. Which was also the name of Steve Roger’s mother, which is probably making Bucky feel even more nostalgia. (Side note- Bucky was actually sleeping on the couch. Which is a step up from where we first saw him in the first episode, where he was sleeping on the cold, hard floor. This is probably an indication that Bucky is starting to heal.)

Anyway, we then see Bucky helping train Sam in throwing the Shield around. They even set up an obstacle course of sorts, with mats being tied to a few of the surrounding trees. They briefly discuss the lingering issue of the Flag Smashers. There’s still no sign of Karli, but Sam promises to give Bucky a call when he gets a new lead, and Bucky promises that he’ll come back to assist Sam at that time. However, the main focus of the scene involves Bucky finally apologizing to Sam for giving him a hard time over the Shield in the first place, with him acknowledging how he and Steve didn’t really grasp what it might feel like to a Black man to be given the Shield. We also get an indication that Steve and Bucky did discuss Steve’s plans of retiring by staying in the past to live a life with Peggy after returning the Infinity Stones ahead of time. It was vaguely suggested in a read-between-the-lines sort of way at the end of Endgame, but it’s nice they confirmed that Steve didn’t just up and decide to do that on the fly. Bucky then starts opening up to Sam, admitting to him that the reason why he was so angry about the Shield in the first place was that, to him, the Shield felt like his last connection he had to Steve, who was the closest thing he had to a family. And that feeling has intensified now that Steve is gone. (Can we please get some clarification on what they mean by ‘gone,’ by the way? Did Steve actually pass away from old age offscreen? Up until now, it’s something they’ve only vaguely inferred to. Like maybe, maybe, maybe. But if that’s what happened, I wish they’d quit tiptoeing around the issue and just tell us straight out.) Anyway, it’s really cool that Bucky is talking to Sam about all of this. It does show that he truly does trust Sam. Especially more than he does that crappy therapist they forced on him. Just saying, Bucky was still denying to her that he was having nightmares, despite apparently having sessions with her for six months. But he freely admits to Sam that he is still having nightmares after only a week or so of them working together. If that doesn’t illustrate how poorly Bucky’s relationship with his government issued therapist was going, I don’t know what does.

As if getting how big a deal this is, for Bucky to open up to him like this, Sam once again slips into counselor mode. He tells Bucky that he shouldn’t put so much concern onto what Steve thought of him, because Bucky can’t let what others think of him determine his own self-value. Or something to that effect. He also advises Bucky to stop taking the easy way out in regards of alleviating his guilt over what he did as the Winter Soldier. Up until now, Bucky was only going after past Hydra agents to bring them to justice in an effort to make himself feel better. But if Bucky really wants to gain peace of mind, he should instead focus on helping the victims feel better. Which probably means that Bucky is going to go back and see that old man, Yori, from Episode 1 again and help him find closure by telling him the truth about what happened to his dead son. I admit, I’m really nervous about watching that scene unfold. Yeah, Yori does deserve the truth, but I’m scared about how he might take it. It would be understandable if he ends up blaming Bucky, sure. But at the same time, it’s kinda been rubbing me the wrong way how this show seems to be acting like Bucky is a reformed assassin who has to atone for what he’s done. No, that was what Natasha was. Bucky, on the other hand, was the world’s longest serving POW. Someone who was tortured and brainwashed by evil Nazi scientists who stripped him of his free will and autonomy. (And, if we consider the implications that Episode 3 gave us, we can also add sexual abuse to the list of things Hydra did to him.) Yeah, it’s only natural Bucky feels bad for what Hydra made him do. But that just indicates he’s naturally a good man with a good heart. I’m not exactly a fan of the idea that he should be made to feel like he should atone for anything he did. Because he was as much of a victim in all of that as the people Hydra sent him after. Still, if trying to make up for what Hydra forced him to do is what Bucky needs to do in order to forgive himself, then I guess I can support that. Do what you have to do to find closure for yourself, buddy.

Anyway, after Bucky leaves, Sam and Sarah continue to finish repairs on the fishing boat in preparation for selling it. But just before Sam is going to paint over the names of their parents, which is printed on the side of the boat, Sarah stops him. It seems she’s changed her mind about selling the boat, considering the boat is part of their family legacy. Which is something that Sam is relieved to hear, as he didn’t want to see the boat getting sold off, either. The siblings begin having a heart-to-heart, with Sarah telling Sam that, even though she’s always given him a hard time about the matter, she’d never thought he was running away from things whenever he went off to save the world and whatnot. She also tells him that she knows he’s been dwelling on what Isaiah said to him, but helps Sam make a decision involving the Shield. While Isaiah had good reasons for believing the way he did, Sam ultimately decides that the pain Isaiah went through would be in vain if nobody continued to fight for the future. And so, Sam decides that he’s now willing to accept the mantle of Captain America. Which leads to another montage. This time of Sam going through a self-training session with the Shied, with his nephews, AJ and Cass, helping out. The training montage ends with us seeing that Sam has become a pro at throwing and catching the Shield.

Of course, just when you start to think this episode is feeling like the series finale, with everything wrapping up and setting the stage for a future adventure, we get the reminder that there is still one more episode to go. It seems that Karli has been pushed over the edge after the death of Nico, as well as seeing all the GRC facilities raided and cleared out of refugees. And she is now out for revenge. Specifically, she plans to rally up what remains of her followers and attack the GRC headquarters, as they plan to vote on the Patch Act, which would force millions of people to relocate to their home states. To achieve this goal, Karli manage to join forces with Batroc, who had previously appeared at the beginning of Episode 1. Strangely enough, an earlier scene does suggest Batroc was actually hired to team up with Karli and the Flag Smashers by Sharon Carter, which only further indicates that Sharon is a bit shady. What exactly is Sharon up to? Is she a bad guy now? That would kinda stink, since she is Peggy Carter’s great niece or something. Talk about besmirching your family name.

Anyway, right when the Flag Smasher’s attack on GRC headquarters is about to begin, Sam gets a tip off from Joaquín, who had been keeping his ear to the grapevine in terms of the Flag Smasher’s movements. Apparently, the Flag Smashers coordinate their attacks via this coded cellphone signal, which Joaquín had figured out how to hack into. And he notifies Sam that the coded cellphone signal is now showing up in New York City. Sam seems to figure out what the Flag Smashers are about to do when he sees a news report on the TV about the GRC voting on the Patch Act that evening. Deciding to go and do something about it, he opens up that Wakandan crate Bucky had dropped off. The episode ends before we can see what exactly was inside the crate, though. They’re clearly saving that reveal for the final episode. Although, my boyfriend, who is also my viewing partner for this show, is a bit of an expert on what went on in the Marvel comics. (He even worked in a comic book/gaming store before we met.) It seems that, in the comics, Sam Wilson did end up getting a pair of Falcon wings that utilized hologram technology of some kind. So he’s theorizing that’s what it is. Still, we have to wait until next Friday to know for sure. Either way, it looks like this next episode will decide what happens with Karli and the Flag Smashers. I honestly don’t see how it’s possible to resolve things with Karli peacefully, though. She seems too far gone at this point. But I’m sure Sam will still try to talk her down, which only deepens my respect for him. And who knows? Maybe Sam will succeed, with Karli going the Coalhouse Walker route- agreeing to stand down in exchange for the promise of a fair trial, which would allow her to state her case. (Of course, I hope they don’t do things exactly how it went down in Ragtime. Because in that story, they pretty much promise Coalhouse that he’ll receive a fair trial, but the moment he surrenders himself, the police immediately open fire and shoot him dead. Which is not even remotely cool.)

Oh, and then there’s still the matter of Walker. Unfortunately, I don’t think we’ve seen the last of him. Because even though Sam and Bucky effectivly took him down AND he received a dishonorable discharge by the US government, he still refuses to believe he did anything wrong. He’s convinced that he still deserves to be Captain America. While a small part of me does pity him, he really is displaying what appears to be a fragile White male ego. He even goes up to Hoskin’s grieving parents and sister and lies to them about how Nico was the one who killed their son, and that they should take comfort in the fact that justice was served. There’s also a mid-credits scene where we see he’s trying to make his own version of the Shield. Doubt its made of vibranium, of course. I Gotta say, I’m seeing a lot of parallels between Walker and Karli right now. Both of them have convinced themselves that they are 100% in the right, and everything they do is completely justified. Which naturally makes them both very dangerous. However, I’m mostly concerned by this mysterious woman. Contessa, or whatever it was she called herself. She approached Walker after his trial to tell him that he didn’t do anything wrong before giving him what appears to be a blank business card. (I’m guessing there’s some sort of secret decoded message on this business card that Walker will decipher later on.) I have no idea who this woman is supposed to be or what her goal is. I’m guessing she’s someone comic book experts would recognize, but my boyfriend/viewing partner, who is familiar with the comics, didn’t seem to recognize her name, either. So it’s a big mystery at this point.

Before I wrap up my thoughts for this week’s episode, there is something partially unrelated I should mention. For those of you who haven’t heard, Sebastian Stan’s latest movie, Monday, recently came out. And it seems that this movie includes Sebastian and his female co-star in a full-frontal nudity scene. From what I’ve heard, there have been some select individuals who have seen fit to criticize Sebastian’s appearance in this scene, because he wasn’t in perfect shape or something like that. If you were one of those select individuals who decided to body shame Sebastian after watching this movie? Grow up! Bodies come in all shapes and sizes. And to expect a male actor to have a completely chiseled physique at all times is extremely unrealistic, particularly when they’re portraying an ordinary person. The fact that people were acting like this is even more disgusting when you consider the fact that Sebastian Stan apparently already has some body issues. The fact that he was still willing to film this full-frontal scene despite those issues just illustrates his passion and dedication to his skill as an actor and the message this movie was meant to convey. He did not deserve to have his body objectified the way it was. Nobody does. So once again, this is me condemning the behavior of those select ‘fans.’

#falcon and winter soldier #falcon and winter solider series

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opinionatedqueer · 3 years

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Greys Anatomy let your characters go challenge

ot Disclaimer - this is my opinion and you are absolutely free to disagree with me on this! I’d love to have a conversation about it, but please don’t be mean thank you!

Over so many years and seasons it is obvious that some characters are going to leave and new ones will join. And that is normal, and necessary for the show to keep going and to not turn boring. Mostly, that works fine, some people will be upset about a character leaving, others will be happy, same thing for new characters, rinse and repeat.

Its pretty well known in the fandom that the characters get written off in ways that reflect the way the actor was like on set. Meaning, if they were assholes, they would leave in dishonorable ways, and if they were nice, their character would get a happy or heroic ending. (One big example of this would be Isaiah Washington, whose character Burke left by leaving his fianceé at the altar after he outed TK Knight as gay and harrassed him for his sexuality. TK Knights Character George died from saving a woman who was about to get hit by a bus.)

However, in most of these situations the caracter left the show because the actor didn’t want to/couldn’t play them anymore for whatever reason.

The other option was characters getting written of for plot reasons, not because of the actor. And here is were Greys Anatomy sometimes can’t let go.

The reason that i was inspired to even write this post was the most recent episode (S17EP14 Look up child). In this episode, the character April Kepner returns to introduce a way to get another Character, Jackson Avery, to leave the show with her.

April Kepner is a character introduced in the sixth season as a extremely religious and insecure character, who slowly works herself up to being a trauma surgeon. Over most of her plotline, her “main thing” is that she is inexperienced regarding romantic and sexual matters, saving herself for marriage because of religious reasons. At some point she breaks this promise by sleeping with Jackson Avery the day of their board exams, which she ends up failing. They continue to have sexual interactions until they at some point break up and April meets the Paramedic Matthew. They get together and plan to get married, however both April and Jackson still have feeling for each other despite both dating other people. Jackson ends up confessing his love to her at her and Matthews wedding, and they run away together and marry each other in some random small church on the way. They get pregnat, the kid has fucked up bones and dies immediately after birth, following which April decides to join the military as a trauma surgeon for a three month tour. Se ends up staying longer, losing more and more contact with Jackson and they decide to divorce shortly after she comes home. She realises she is pregnant, but doesn’t tell Jackson to not complicate the divorce, but guess what, it does it anyways. They figure it out after a while and want to raise their child as coparents. In the fourteenth season April has another crisis of faith and becomes a really wild partygoer to deal with that, eventually sorts her shit out and gets back together with Matthew. They leave the show to take care of homeless people in seattle, good for her.

Personally, i was glad when she left. I didn’t like April, she was annoying and insecure and holier that thou religious. Even other characters and actors describe her character as that (though in the “and thats charming” way, which... noo...). She had shortly left the show before for a few episodes at a time, for example when she was in the military or for a short while before it was made public that she was back together with Matthew. And every time she came back, and it just felt weird. These could have been good endings for her, but they kept bringing her back.

Similarly, the relationship between her and Jackson kept being revived, despite clearly not working. There were multiple episodes specifically marketed as “Japril” Episodes, and they were all annoying and just ended with them deciding again that their relationship didn’t work, no surprise there.

And now, in the recent episode, she returns again. And gets back together with Jackson. I get that she just came back to create an open for him to leave, but i still think it wasn’t necessary. Jackson actual argument for leaving is that he wants to take over his family foundation to create more equality in medicine.

(This season heavily features current 2020/2021 topics, and the episodes about the black lives matter situation was actually pretty well made in my opinion, especially the station 19 episode (i have seen PoC talk positively about the episodes and they felt good to me as someone who is very invested in the movement, but i am a white person so please correct me if I’m wrong here))

And that would have been a good exit already, i don’t understand why April had to come back at all.

I assume it was just fanservice, since she actually had a pretty big fanbase during her time on the show, and a lot of people really like their ship.

But, to me, it just feels like the writers are too lasy to come up with new storylines for the characters and just keep bringing together and then spltting up their couples. And that is annoying, in my opinion, sometimes you jut have to now when a certain plot point gets boring and you might want to come up with something new.

Japril just didn’t work, but they still kept getting pushed together just to break up again. I really hope that both of them finally leave for good and don’t just randomly come back.

I guess my point is, the show needs to learn when to get rid of certain characters and plotlines. Even if you have to kick a fan favourite, sometimes thats just what a show needs to be able to grow and get better or even just stay good.

(I realize that starting this blog with a post about Greys Anatomy might be counterproductive, but i don’t care. All my friends are gay and don’t really give a shit about it and i personally dont even think its a good show but i have been watching this shit since like seventh grade and now im just somehow attached to it. Point is no one is actually gonna understand if i were to talk about this show irl, but thats what the internet is there for amirite)

#my rambles #rant #greys anatomy #april kepner #jackson avery #japril #if this is even remotely coherent please have conversations with me about it #in the answers #i am so fucking starved for human interaction

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thescienceofapologetics · 5 years

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Evidence for the Resurrection

It’s Easter time once again! A Sunday that marks the single most pivotal point of Christianity. If you want to prove Christianity is a hoax, all you must do is illustrate how the resurrection was a facade. It is absolutely essential to our salvation that Christ conquered death, for if Jesus Christ did not rise from the dead our hope is lost. 1 Corinthians 15:14 likewise states, “And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain.” Without the resurrection our belief is baseless, futile, unfounded, and foolish. So why is it we believe such an outlandish claim could actually happen, superseding the natural laws of earth? Here’s a few reasons...

The Bible is the most historically accurate ancient text in the world — When discussing the validity of history, it’s only reasonable to reference your source that has proven most reliable. The Bible is that source. No other record of ancient history has come CLOSE to matching the reliability of the Bible. If we say the Bible is untrustworthy, we must discard every other historical record as well because the Bible vastly surpasses every test of authenticity as no other book does. More on that here and here.

Yes, Jesus really died - Many people start off with the dispute that maybe Jesus wasn’t really dead. However, that neglects both the historical and circumstancial context. The Romans were masters at execution. They knew how to draw out suffering to the finest line between death and life, make it last for days on end. This was their art form. These men were proficient and practiced. Jesus was tortured, whipped with a scourge that often exposed bone and vital organs, tearing flesh from a body. Many people didn’t survive that alone. He was forced to carry a cross that could have weight up to 300lbs, and he crumpled under the weight, unable to bear it. Nails were driven through his wrist and through both his feet. Make note he would be unable to walk from the pain in his feet, his hands would be rendered useless. The way you hang on a cross causes death by asphyxiation, to breathe you had to push your self up with means grating your torn back against the wood and putting more pressure on the holes ripping your limbs. After Jesus died they speared his side to make certain he was dead and fluid came pouring out. The Romans checked thoroughly to make sure he was dead because they were shocked he died so quickly. He was bloated, swollen, and gored by death on a cross. Even if for arguments sake, Jesus was not yet dead, being in a tomb for three days would indisputably see to that. If blood loss didn’t kill him, infection certainly would. Additionally, Luke, one of eyewitnesses who recorded the events, was a doctor so his perspective is a notably authoritative one. (Luke 23-24).

The tomb was empty - There is no possible way Jesus, weakened to the point where the Roman masters of execution called his death, unable to use his hands or feet due to the spikes pounded into them, was able to roll away a MASSIVE boulder and over power two trained and able-bodied Roman soldiers. The idea that Jesus didn’t fully die on the cross and escaped the tomb is absurd. Furthermore, the guards stationed to prevent anyone from robbing the tomb and the Roman seal on the two-ton rock ensured that anyone who dared to even attempt to move it faced the death penalty themselves. If the guards themselves fell asleep they faced the same fate. There was a LOT at stake if Jesus’ body was taken, the Romans were taking no chances. Every other argument for the absence of Jesus’ body can quickly be dismantled by historical context and the circumstances by which these things took place.

It was prophesied - Isaiah talks about the particular circumstances of Jesus death, such as no bones would be broken, an unusual anomaly when it came to crucifixion. Jesus himself also foretells that he will rise within three days. Even smaller details like casting lots for His garments were spoken of hundreds of years before Jesus was born. Other prophesies like this show that Jesus’ death was no accident, God knew what He was doing. (Isaiah 52:13-53:12; John 18-20)

Eyewitness accounts - Jesus appeared to over 500 people after His resurrection, many of whom were alive at the time of the gospels being written and therefore could confirm or dispute their accuracy (1 Corinthians 15:6) Among those include the disciples, Mary Magdalene, and Paul the former murderer of Christians. The Bible records accounts of skeptism and unbelief, but they saw the scars on his hands, touched his solid flesh before them, heard his familiar voice, and they believed because of it. Paul became that which he initially DESPISED because of his encounter with Jesus Christ, that alone is a mind-blowing testimony. The man who hunted and killed Christians became a Christian who was willing to be tortured and killed because he so strongly believed in the saving death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

The apostles went from hiding in extreme fear to preaching the gospel in the face of deadly persecution - When Jesus died the apostles went into hiding. They were TERRIFIED that the Romans, the other Jews, would come after them next. Yet, after Jesus appears, they’re fearlessly preaching the gospel out in open crowds of THOUSANDS. It’s a dramatic switch of perspective. To go from quivering fear to such emboldened confidence, surely seeing Jesus standing risen before you would give you that kind of intrepidation. There is little else to explain how these men were suddenly ready to risk everything after being afraid to admit they ever knew Jesus just days before.

Apostles willing to die for Jesus - Now some people say the apostles stole the body of Jesus to convince people to turn to Christianity. The Bible says that lie was started by the Romans in order to discredit the apostles. However, almost all of the apolstles died for preaching the gospel, and all of them were severely persecuted. Why would they exchange their lives, their health, their reputation, their livelihoods, their comfort for something they knew was a lie? It simply makes no sense. The only logical conclusion is that they believed Jesus was the resurrected Christ.

Appearing to a woman first was a dumb move - The testimony of a woman would not be as respected as than of a man in those times. If Jesus’ resurrection was a ruse, the logical thing to do would be to claim he was seen by a male dignitary of noble standing, not a woman who had been previously possessed by demons - a social blemish (Luke 8:2). “Unflattering” facts like this, the cowardis of the apolstles, their initial skeptism, not recognizing Jesus right away, etc. lend to the credit of the account because it demonstrates an accurate retelling, not a fabrication that was crafted to deceptively sway the masses into false belief.

Vision, hallucination unlikely due to number of witnesses and circumstances - Jesus didn’t appear to two people and then go back to Heaven. He appeared to over 500 in all sorts of different locations. People who weren’t looking for him, people who didn’t believe it was Him until they had proof. Proof so certain that they were no longer afraid, they were filled with unextinguishable hope. We must also realize the historical context of the time in which it took place. It’s much easier to fabricate this kind of illusion today with the technology and way by which we pass on information. The time period in which the resurrection took place adds merit that should not be ignored. News was circulated in a manner that was unique to our present day process.

Non-Christian historians record the resurrection - Josephus, a renowned secular historian at the time of Jesus’ death, writes, “On the third day He appeared... restored to life.” It should be noted there are many who debate the reliability of Josephus’ words regarding the resurrection, however, many historians find this evidence to support the Bible’s claims.

The persecution of the early church - Under Nero’s reign the early church suffered some of the most violent persecution, not to mention the Jewish leaders who also sought to kill the Christians. The steadfast resolve of a Church who was in its infant stage is astounding. The only explanation is that they all genuinely believed in the resurrection. They had nothing to gain and everything to lose by preaching the gospel, yet they did so freely despite the cost. If Christianity was based on a lie, it should have been easy to crush it as it was beginning. The fact that the force of the entire Roman Empire wasn’t enough to sway their devotion is incredible. The whole of the known world tried to annihilate Christianity in the cradle but couldn’t.

It is the accumulation of evidence that begs cause for belief - It is not for one singular reason that we believe Jesus rose from the dead, but rather the combined evidence that demands an explanation that only the Bible provides. The proven accuracy of the Bible, the eyewitnesses details; the historical records of Jesus walking, eating, alive; the unexplainable absence in the tomb despite all efforts to seal it; the prophesies fulfilled; the change in people’s lives, the martyrs, the flourishing of the church in the face of persecution. It all points back to Jesus rising from the dead as the only reasonable explanation. The Bible consistently presents answers to questions the world has no answer for.

More comprehensive analysis and sources

Within these sources you’ll find more Biblical references, breaking down arguments and evidence, and quotes from some of the world’s finest minds and historians.

The Resurrection of Christ: The Best Proved Fact in History

Resurrection: No Doubt About It

Biblical and Extra-Biblical Evidences

Is the Resurrection True?

Atheist’s Look at the Resurrection

Still got questions/comments? Shoot me an ask! I don’t usually reply to comments on long posts, but I’d certainly love to talk!

#history #religion #christianity #resurrection #easter #apologetics

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spaceshipkat · 4 years

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i’ve decided to divide up my CCity recap posts in 20-chapter increments, so this one will be chapters 21 - 40. part 1 with chapters 1 - 20 can be found here.

chapter 21: we’re yet again in Ruhn’s POV, and i really hope we can find out why he’s got a POV when his plot doesn’t seem to have much to do with it. we get even more exposition, this one stating that fae and wolves claimed Luna as their patron goddess. Bruce and Hunt continue to act chummy. i remain confused about why. we get more exposition we don’t need via a tour guide. Ruhn asked Bruce to come to meet with him bc their dad asked him to find Luna’s Horn. we learn that the Star-Eater bred something strong enough to fight the Horn by combining some of Pelias’ blood and the Star-Eater’s own “terrible essence”. “out of [that] collision of light and darkness” came a beast that “dwells in the darkest depths of the Pit” and the Star-Eater named it the kristallos for its clear blood and teeth, which Hunt has never heard of. they seem to believe that the demon has been summoned to hunt for the Horn, and that the murders might have stopped for a two year gap (despite there only being two murders total) to wait for things to calm down before continuing the search for the Horn. we learn that not only can the kristallos track the Horn, but so can Ruhn. Hunt calls Justinian, another member of the 33rd Imperial Legion, to look up the kristallos. Justinian tells Hunt he should stop waiting on Shahar, since it’s been two centuries, and hints he should instead hook up with Bruce.

chapter 22: back in Bruce’s POV, she asks Ruhn if their dad killed Danika and Ruhn says no. they have an argument wherein we learn that Ruhn called Bruce “a half-breed slut” in an argument and Bruce says that he meant it even though Ruhn says it was just said in a fight, and then she storms off. Bruce rushes to the gallery to meet with a client and research the Horn, but finds nothing. she decides to discover how Danika factors into the Horn business.

chapter 23: we start with Bruce in the gallery when she gets a call from Jesiba to send a file from her computer, and we get yet another proper noun in the Godslayer Rifle, which Jesiba hangs in her office. Bruce asks if Jesiba has heard anything new about the Horn, and Jesiba says no. Hunt tells Bruce there’s been another murder, and they leave. when Bruce sees the remains, she has a PTSD episode, which Ruhn tries to help with by removing her from the scene of the crime and she snaps at him. it’s revealed it was an acolyte from Luna’s temple who was killed, and that it was Micah who Bruce saved when she chased the kristallos (the demon) out of her apartment and followed it through the city.

chapter 24: Bruce learns that Hunt thought she was a suspect and, for some reason, is surprised by this. Hunt smells like cedar and rain. we get a flashback to the moment Bruce killed for the first time, though we don’t actually get to see her do the killing (which i’m glad for, though i’m pretty sure we’ll see it eventually so we can witness Bruce being “badass”). the chapter ends with Bruce entering the White Raven club.

chapter 25: in Hunt’s POV, we learn that witches fly on brooms. we learn Justinian called and found nothing but a few myths about the kristallos and that Viktoria called to say the Viper Queen’s alibis checked out. Hunt follows Bruce into the club and finds her at a booth with Juniper, who smells of jasmine and vanilla since he wants to apologize to Bruce for bringing her to the crime scene. Ruhn shows up at the club after Juniper and Bruce go to the bathroom. the chapter ends with the club exploding.

chapter 26: back in Bruce’s POV, we witness her jump over Juniper to protect her from the explosion and learn that Juniper made the Drop two years ago so Bruce shouldn’t have been protecting her but the other way around. Hunt takes Bruce to Ruhn’s house to clean her wounds. evidently, the White Raven club was formerly a temple. Hunt finds out Bruce didn’t heal the scar she got from her injury when she chased the kristallos and saved Micah. Ruhn says that all signs of the bomb point to human rebels, and that there was a Horn-shaped logo on the crate that had carried the bomb. it’s speculated that the humans are warning them away from looking for the Horn, hence who is being killed and that the club blew up while Bruce, Ruhn, and Hunt were inside it. Hunt decides they need to talk to Briggs to see if the Keres, his group of human rebels, are behind the murders of Danika, Mr. Tertian, and the acolyte. Ruhn tells Bruce that their dad wants her to have a bodyguard so she doesn’t die before the Summit, and Bruce says it’ll be Hunt bc she doesn’t want Ruhn to live with her. there’s a POV switch to Ruhn, now, and he wonders if Hunt is putting two and two together to realize that Bruce and Ruhn aren’t just cousins but siblings. Ruhn wants to look at the gallery’s library and Bruce wants Declan Emmet, one of Ruhn’s best friends, to search the Den archives for anything about Danika’s last movements.

chapter 27: back in Hunt’s POV, we revisit the White Raven club (Bruce is barefoot, for some reason) as Hunt and Bruce walk to her apartment. Hunt asks Bruce why she won’t make the Drop and she says she’s waiting until she’s 27 since she and Danika were going to make the Drop at age 27. Hunt asks if Bruce and Danika were lovers and Bruce says no. Hunt tells Bruce about his bargain with Micah and, for some reason, she doesn’t judge him for what he needs to do when, by all accounts, she would have until sj///m decided they’re going to eventually be a couple. in the guest room, Hunt finds a photo of Bruce, Bruce’s mom, and Bruce’s stepdad, who is a legendary sharpshooter.

chapter 28: Hunt wakes up and Bruce is still asleep, and he notes she’s in a nightgown and has a tattoo down her back in an alphabet he doesn’t recognize. Juniper shows up with pastries. people still believe humans from Pangera are behind the club bombing. Juniper says Fury is coming home bc the owner of the club is putting a bounty out on whoever is responsible for blowing it up. Hunt and Bruce have “banter” and eat croissants.

chapter 29: Bruce and Hunt walk to the gallery together. in Ruhn’s POV, we’re not in the gallery’s library and we learn that Ruhn evidently has a lot of piercings. Declan sends information regarding Danika’s movements before she died. Danika was stationed at Luna’s Temple the two days before the Horn was stolen as well as during the blackout while it was stolen. we learn both Pelias’ wife and mother-in-law were Starborn. we also learn that the Horn only worked when Starborn magic was funneled through it, and that this is true of all sacred objects. Hunt decides he’ll go see the Oracle to see if she knows anything about the Horn.

chapter 30: Bruce and Hunt go to the Comitium so he can gather weapons and clothes to bring to Bruce’s apartment. Hunt tells Bruce he’s a bastard and that he made the Drop when he was 28. Hunt’s request to meet with Briggs has been approved and that Hunt gets to meet with the Oracle tomorrow. chapter ends with Isaiah trying to warn Hunt that Sandriel is here but Sandriel is already there

chapter 31: Sandriel spots Hunt. Bruce stages an exit that’s actually really helpful and it’s nice to see her display some humanity. Micah asks Bruce out and she says she’s not interested. Bruce and Hunt leave via a back exit that requires him to carry her bc he needs to fly them out and back to her apartment.

chapter 32: they head back for the gallery. Micah calls to tell Hunt he has a job to do tonight so Hunt leaves Justinian to watch Bruce. when Hunt returns, Bruce tells him that she recorded the sunball game he missed but wanted to watch.

chapter 33: Hunt goes to see the Oracle and asks her why someone wants the Horn. she says that they want to open the doorway between worlds, to reopen the Northern Rift. evidently, the Horn’s purpose is to open and close doors.she says the Horn can also be repaired. the Oracle warns Hunt to stay away from Bruce (as a warning of their connection, not protectiveness over her)

chapter 34: Bruce and Ruhn are waiting for Hunt outside where the Oracle lives (in the Oracle’s Park). the acolyte who was killed last was the only one on duty the night the Horn was stolen. Bruce speculates that maybe the humans want to use the Horn to open the gates of Hel and bring the princes out. Ruhn leaves to go question medwitches about if it would be possible to heal the Horn, as it apparently has some sentience to it. Hunt asks Bruce if she has any idea why the Oracle would warn him to stay away from her, and Bruce eludes that the Oracle might still be angry at her. the Oracle apparently screamed and clawed at her face when she looked into Bruce’s future and was blind for a week. they find a picture of a terracotta vase with the kristallos demon roaring as a sword is arced toward its head by a warrior of some kind. Briggs is in place to be questioned and Hunt asks if Bruce will be okay facing him since he probably won’t have nice things to say about Danika, and Bruce snaps at him. Lehabah says that Bruce should have some new friends, that Hunt seems like he could be a nice friend, and Bruce snaps at Lehabah, who is hurt and leaves.

chapter 35: Bruce and Hunt walk through the halls of cells below the Comitium and we get a lot of implications of torture that occurs. they enter one cell where Briggs is. they ask Briggs if the Keres could be behind the attacks. he says he liked Danika, even when she busted him. Briggs says that Danika went easy on Briggs and even let a few of his Keres rebels escape, and that he thinks she might have been a sympathizer. Bruce objects, but Briggs says that Danika could have been an important ally in the rebel cause bc of how Bruce was treated as half-fae, half-human. Briggs says he is not responsible for Danika’s death, but if the Keres managed to blow up the White Raven, that was good. back in Bruce’s apartment, Hunt and Bruce regroup. Hunt is in sweats, a t-shirt, and a sunball hat on backward. Bruce takes apicture on Hunt’s phone and sends it to herself. Hunt explains that he was tortured for seven years after he rebelled. Bruce reaches for Hunt’s hand and holds it while she tells him he’s nothing like Briggs. he gives his hat to Bruce. they have a thing where their legs are touching and their eyes are locked and Bruce’s voice turns hoarse while they talk about how Danika might have hidden whoever stole the Horn the night of the blackout and then Hunt steals his hat back and they have a plan to reexamine the footage from the cameras facing the temple.

chapter 36: Bruce and Hunt show up to a shooting range where Ruhn, Flynn, and Declan are. Bruce wants Declan to analyze footage from Luna’s Temple the night the Horn was missing. Bruce shoots, Hunt pops a boner, he gets a call from Isaiah that there’s been another murder, this one in the Asphodel Meadows

chapter 37: Bruce looks scared, so Hunt sends Ruhn, Declan, and Flynn to the crime scene first. Hunt helps Bruce breathe through the panic before they go to the crime scene. the Asphodel Meadows are run-down and reek of trash and Bruce tries not to breathe bc of course. the murder victim might be one of the guards from Luna’s Temple on his way home. the murderer appears to have known where all cameras were in the area they killed the person. Bruce figures out that the murders are all occurring on ley lines and speculates that the murders occur so the demon can be summoned out of Hel. Bruce and Hunt talk about their love lives as they leave the crime scene. Declan learns that Sabine swapped the audio recordings from the night the Horn was stolen.

chapter 38: Hunt asks Isaiah to read the notes from what Sabine said to him and Hunt the night of Danika’s death, while Bruce was in the holding room, and thinks that Sabine could have killed Danika bc Danika might have wanted to tell someone about the Horn. Bruce says she can’t imagine why Sabine would have the Horn and still summon the kristallos demon. Hunt speculates that Sabine and possible Sandriel might be in on trying to make Micah look bad bc Sabine hates Micah and Sandriel wants Valbara (which Micah is governor of). Bruce goes for a run and Hunt joins her to protect her. Bruce’s leg is in a lot of pain but she keeps lying about it and seems to enjoy the fact she’s in pain.

chapter 39: Ruhn stops at the clinic of the medwitch he met with the night of the last murder. the witch and Ruhn have lunch in the courtyard, and he asks her if a magical object could be healed. she guesses it’s a fae artifact from what he’s saying, and then the Horn. she speculates that there might be a way to repair it if the object is treated as a living thing. there definitely seems like there’s going to be some romance between Ruhn and this unnamed medwitch (maybe she’s Hypaxia? she seems confused when Ruhn asks if the new queen Hypaxia would have any answers, and then recovers to say that Hypaxia is mourning her mother and won’t take any visitors until she’s declared as the new witch queen at the Summit).

chapter 40: Viktoria sends Isaiah to collect Hunt when she looks through footage on the city cameras about the ley lines/power grid. Bruce and Hunt fly to meet with Viktoria. Viktoria is, of course, beautiful. Viktoria has found footage of a foot that belongs to the kristallos demon from the nights of the murders and that the night of Mr. Tertian’s murder, there was a temperature fluctuation on a ley line. the demon was around the Den where Sabine lives, as though waiting for someone, and then vanished. it was also at the murder from the night before and vanished just as quickly.

#anti sjm #anti ccity #ccity spoilers #myth & kat read ccity #ccity recap

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carmelagramblr-blogsstuff · 3 years

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𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐒 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐘

There is no feeling of sadness greater than when a loved one passes away; this is the sad truth of life that everyone has to die. Do you want to know more about the signs from heaven?

We all have instinctive capabilities also called sixth sense, which usually is heightened or activated when a loved one passes away. Usually, when you embrace a powerful physical connection with someone, it makes it simpler to bond with them in the form of a spirit.

Signs from the deceased loved one

Have you ever found yourself in that situation, when you lose a loved one, your heart misses them? And you cry for them feeling lonely and empty, you have no idea what to do anymore and how to move on with your life without them.

You are COMPLETELY shattered and broken; this is the reason why so frequently, loved ones who have died will attempt to send you signs. Moreover, try to let you know that the deceased loved one is nearby by attempting to communicate with you and convey a message in order to let you know that they are fine.

There is always meaning behind a deceased loved one reaching out to you! Don’t attribute these signs to chance. When someone reaches out to you from the spiritual realm, they usually have an important message.

After the loss of a loved one, all of these issues are pertinent because they will help us to better overcome the pain and see the world from another perspective.

Therefore, it is comforting to think that there is someone who looks over us, who tries to guide us in this difficult moment, remembering that special advice when the company was fired your loved one or simply the smile of that person, when he encouraged us to continue walking ahead, relegating the past as a mess that even negative, always has an apprenticeship and it is up to us to look and learn to not make the same mistake twice.

So it is also comforting to know that your loved ones in spirit can actually see us after they have crossed to heaven. Yes, you read well. There is much more to the existence of a soul in heaven than seeing events on Earth.

And what does the Bible say about your non-physical presence?

God takes into account exactly who we are and places us before the angels who will bring emotional balance to our lives:

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.

Revelation 21:4

***

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Psalm 23:4

***

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Matthew 5:4

***

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

When a loved one dies do they visit you?

Surely that you have heard already and asked yourself: when a loved one dies do they visit you? Surely that you might have already heard this question coming from some else, but be assured that is question appears often in someone’s mind after the loss of someone special.

Some say that within 6-10 days of dying your loved one will be capable of sending you signs from heaven and connecting with you most powerfully than ever, however, that does not at all mean that they will not always be around you.

Signs that a deceased loved one is with you

When you sense the presence of a loved one’s spirit, it is possible to reach out to them. However, it’s important that you manage your expectations. Simply close your eyes, calm your mind, and see the person with your third eye. Speak to them, either out loud or in your mind, and listen to your intuition and allow it to guide you to answers.

You may be surprised when know recognizing some of the signs that a deceased loved one is with you, around you, and your loved ones still present in this world.

You’ll likely feel very subtle changes within your mind and/or body, and you can focus on these to come to an understanding of why your loved one has chosen now to visit. Sometimes the answer we’re searching for is already within us, and it just takes a loved one to help guide us there.

Signs of a spirit visiting you as a spiritual leader

Every so often when a loved one dies and turns into a spirit they most likely become a kind of spiritual leader who will at all times remain by your side.

It is not at all certain to say that all loved ones who die become guides, but generally if you are aware and open, you may receive some signs that a deceased loved one is nearby.

You must remember that death only implies the expiration of the physical body; however, the soul exists eternally. The truth is that our soul is everlasting.

Normally when loved ones decease they wish to send signs to let us know that they are still around us and are looking over us.

Loved ones in heaven

If for some reason we are not able to feel our deceased loved ones around us, they will usually provide us with signs that we cannot overlook.

The being who has received mostly knows that it means that a deceased loved one is nearby.

Even if we terminate it and give it no notice that tiny voice within will surely make us ponder that it might be a sign.

The topmost signs are:

1. Strange activities of Electricity

You will be surprised to know that our expired loved ones have are capable of interfering with electricity and light flashes since they are pure energy now.

To send us signs they can influence machinery like microwaves, fans, radios, etc. Usually, they only want us to feel the signs a deceased loved one is nearby.

Using electricity to grab attention appears to be one of the most common signs from heaven and signs that a deceased loved one is with you. It is the easiest way to make people respond.

The spirits from the other side are a fan of flickering lights, turning on and off fans, turn radio or television on and off, or make machines beep for no obvious reason.

If your TV switches off or lights start to flicker unexpectedly try to find out the reason behind it like. It most probably will be one of the signs from heaven.

2. Sensing their Smell

One of the signs is when we can usually realize that our departed loved ones are nearby when we smell their scent: flowers, perfumes, cigarette smoke, their cooking, or any other odor associated with them.

Our loved ones can temporarily move the particles with the air of your space to imitate the scent associated with them. These signs can at times appear to be confusing.

As humans, we remember how our loved ones smell. We recall a unique fragrance or perfume they enjoyed or even the odor of activity they loved doing. If you sense their smell, fragrance, or odor, do not be scared instead be happy.

3. Showing up as the energy of an Animal

As our loved ones are now pure energy, they are capable of channeling their energy inside an animal to send you signs from heaven, such as a butterfly, cats, birds, especially the hummingbird, dogs, etc.

The animal will act in a way it typically would not act, such as come in front of us, land on us, stare at us, peck at our window, or shriek at us. Unluckily, such signs many people fail to notice.

Our loved ones may try to communicate with us in every way possible. By using these codes, they are conveying us a sign without attempting to scare us. They are trying to let us know that they are with us!

4. Placing and moving objects in your way as signs from heaven

One sign from heaven from loved ones is that they usually like to put objects in our trail that was important just to them time and again, to make us feel their presence.

Flowers, feathers, coins, keys, and rocks are some of the utmost common items they are most likely to place for us. These are small gifts from them.

If you discover a coin or a pennies in your way, notice its year and recall if that specific year holds some importance between you and your departed loved one.

If you find a flower in the center of your bed, or you find your loved one’s clothes where you do not put it normally then take this as one of the signs.

5. You see them in your dreams

Dreams are one of the most common signs and easiest way for our dead loved ones to connect with us. A dream that is a true manifestation will be very vibrant, detailed, and peaceful. Such dreams are not forgotten easily, in fact, they are remembered for years.

There are a few features you can scrutinize after seeing an unworldly visitation dream. It will be very rich and colorful. It will always be coherent and logical and have some message in the form of physical objects, words, or even intuition.

You may feel muddled when you wake up and will also feel peaceful, content, or even scared about what you just experienced. If you want to meet your loved one in your dream all that is required to do is to request them to do so, and they will visit you.

Some people believe that if we tell them to wake us after they meet us and to make us remember the specific dream.

6. They make us see specific numbers around us

As signs from heaven, our loved ones might make us see numbers that are significant to them.

They can be called Angel Numbers or any other sort of numbers…. it could be an anniversary, a birthday, the date of their death or the time they passed at, or even restating numbers such as 444, 666, 333, 777, etc.

Such unique numbers may be seen on calculators, billboards, TV, or any other acquainted place. They may also come from strangers, family, and friends. When you are driving, pay close attention to license plates ahead of you and ads or posters you pass by.

Some of the best signs of numbers can be seen on bumper stickers that are right under your nose. If you notice a pattern and have faith in your loved one that they are communicating with you, take ease in finding out that they are right with you.

7. Placing thoughts in our heads

Our beloved dead ones influence our thoughts. Our loved ones don’t have a clear voice because they are pure energy now. Consequently, they send us signs intuitively.

Pay close attention to opinions that just arrive in your head that you think of out of nowhere. Especially you think of something your deceased loved one would say for no logical reason, it is most possibly them trying to communicate with you directly.

This method of connection is a real blessing. Pay attention to your thoughts; you will in instantly know when they are not yours and are signs from heaven.

8. They look over us and let us know

Many people have felt such signs. We can most likely notice the spiritual drive, specifically when we’re relaxed. When we are in the initial stages of sorrow, we have a stronger ability to sense the presence of our loved ones around us. Death is not final, and love lives forever.

Therefore, we are most likely to remain feeling our loved one’s existence after their death because they are still always around us. In the deepest sorrow, they will attempt to discover a tactic to let us know that we are not alone and they are with us.

Do not be afraid when you feel like you are being watched because our passed loved ones are simply protecting us and watching over us. They will love us forever, even from afar.

9. The Play songs at a perfect occasion

If your departed loved one enjoyed music, this also could be an easy way of communication, being one of the signs. We instantly feel the presence of our loved ones when their most favorite songs play at just the perfect time with the particular lyrics we need to hear.

Usually, the identical song comes on in various places. You might be able to listen to the song in the background in while doing grocery in departmental stores. Or when you are having dinner at a restaurant, when you are driving and play the radio.

Moreover, when you are watching a show or a movie on TV or even when you randomly play music, you may feel that your loved one is nearby.

10. They whisper or buzz in your ears

Since our departed loved ones are pure energy they might send us signs from heaven and express to us using a different, greater frequency, we may hear buzzing or some ringing in our ears when they are trying to get us to respond.

These might be signs from heaven so look for a message they are trying to convey.

Observe your surroundings and see if there is anything important to notice, a sign on the roadside? A bird flying by? When you read a newspaper or a book or surfing the internet for something? Did you feel the buzzing in your ear or ears when you read a specific sentence?

Go through that sentence again and search for a message your loved one might be trying to convey. Perhaps the buzzing in your ear is afterward a certain thought; this can be a sign of confirmation or support from your loved one.

11. See flashes of bright light

Spirit does not always have the power or are not capable of fully appearing as a ghost. In the form of signs from heaven your loved ones can be evident as balls of light, flashes, or orbs of Light.

If you see them often out of the corner of your eye, there are chances that it can be your loved one who is sending you signs from heaven.

12. Synchronicity

In general terms, synchronicity is characterized as being a ‘significant coincidence’, therefore, understandable and connected in some way to the concept of ‘meaningful’ to someone.

It is like having two (or more) events that coincide in a way that is meaningful to a particular person, and who have experienced this “significant coincidence”.

Taking our present time, you think about synchronicity, for ex. in finding people important to you “by chance”; receiving calls, messages, and emails from someone you were thinking about already, this is a clear sign of synchronicity.

Also, when you hear strangers talking on the street, about exactly the same thing that you were reflecting on. Or even, receive an encouraging message totally out of context, but at the time you needed it most.

Positive words or accurate teachings are signs of the Universe for you, signs of heaven that a higher force is looking after you.

13. Cardinal sign

A cardinal is illustrative of a departed loved one and one of the signs of heaven. When you come across one, it might mean they are stopping by. They mostly appear when you miss them or need them the most.

They may also visit for the duration of celebration as well as misery to watch over you and to ensure that you know they are with you always. Cardinals are frequently believed to be spirit signs from heaven mainly because of their bright red color.

When a cardinal shows up at the instant a departed loved one is being talked of or thought of; it could most likely be your loved one trying to make you feel that they are right there with you.

Love Never Dies. Long for them, they will show up!

☯♱☪𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐞𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐔✍

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dsappointments · 5 years

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⋆ ° ⟡ ( LEWIS TAN, thirty-one, cis-male, he/him) i saw SAMUEL "SAM" NG at the winter palace. did you know that the BODYGUARD/CON ARTIST is originally from GENOVIA? i heard they can be quite CONNIVING, but also PROTECTIVE. there’s rumours they’re at the winter palace because HE IS ASSIGNED TO ADRIANA, but you never know. BATTLE SCARS HIDDEN BENEATH CLOTHING, GLARES THAT LOOK LIKE THEY COULD KILL & A DEVIOUS SMILE always remind me of them. ( harper, 24, pst, she/her )

TW: abuse, violence & war.

imma try to keep this shit short and simple, but we all know who the fuck i am and we know it’s gonna get long!

PAST:

sam was born in genovia and is the bastard son of the lai family, he and edward’s mom died shortly after sam’s birth and remained in his father’s custody until he was 18

much like dita’s parents, sam’s dad wanted him to marry into royalty at any and all costs. he was essentially trained at birth to appeal to the upper class, something that he resented.

their relationship was manipulative and abusive, sam would rebel against his father constantly and would be gaslit and forced to “face the consequences of his actions”, so to speak. cue his hatred for both his father and royalty in general!

his only solace was edward and dita, else he would’ve ran away at a very young age. theirs was the only love he knew for the large majority of his childhood.

in an attempt to curb his son’s anger, sam’s dad pushed him into martial arts. though sam wanted nothing more than to hate it, he fell in love with it and has been practicing and training ever since. it did little to make his anger subside, but it finally felt good to him to actually have a passion and be good at something.

at 18, he left genovia to enlist in the marines. there, he met josefina and her future husband (rip) and also realized that he had a major problem with authority (double rip). serving in combat zones made him realize how fragile human life was and how the world always seemed to pit people like him against each other while the world’s elite always seemed to thrive in spite of all the suffering they caused.

sure, it disciplined him and hardened the sensitive boy he once was, but he hated most days but thoroughly enjoyed the camaraderie that came with it. in between his tours, he would often visit genovia on leave but never for too long as he knew his father would manipulate him again somehow. it’s hard to forget old wounds and habits.

he only served for 6 years, sam couldn’t justify being in for longer and offered himself up to private security firms. all the while, his dislike for people who valued their lives over his festered in the mean time. in his time as security, he worked with various intelligence agencies and countless pretentious elite people that he would’ve liked nothing more than to crush like a bug.

he’s never made time for love, sam has always been too focused on his job and the anger that continues to fester inside of him. though, that’s not to say he hasn’t made attempts before. (wc?)

he started conning the rich soon after becoming private security, starting with little things that they wouldn’t miss and eventually moving up to manipulating them into actually giving him money and things under the guise of companionship.

PRESENT:

sam has been assigned to adriana for a few years now, he’s had his eye on her since he grew bored of small cons. but, of course, he had to choose one of the most troublesome princesses to target...

that being said, he’d still take a bullet for her because that’s his job... though it also clearly says in the contract not to sleep with royals, but he’s always been morally grey in that sense, oh well!

he’s since grew out of small cons, much more interested in the long con that guarantees a steady stream of cash and valuables as well as the emotional manipulation that comes with it (shout out to his dad for this one!). he likes feeling like he’s got power when it comes to people with power and will not hesitate to blackmail and extort people.

he asked isaiah, his best friend, to come with him to genovia to help him con various royals instead of just adri. genovia is likened to a kid in a candy shop to him now, despite the things that come with it.

he’s very much business in the front and party in the back, in that he’s stoic, almost deathly quiet, and borderline rude to the people he works for and always happy to see his friends (the proletariat!)

he’s got a ridiculous amount of scars littered across his body from foolish things and serious things and tattoos to boot, but it’s all hidden behind a well pressed suit and a glare that cuts deep.

eventually, his scheming will turn from robin hood-esque ways to dismantling the royal system as a whole, but stay tuned for that one, folks!

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

old friends, new cons other than adri, old flings, fwb, forbidden romances (might be unrequited but he’ll sure make it seem like it isn’t), new friends, drinking buddy (or buddies), someone he’s soft for, heist partners, exes. honestly, anything under the sun at this point!

#genoviaintro #KAJSKFDA ME: IMMA KEEP THIS SHORT #ALSO ME: I'M A BITCH ASS LIAR #thank u for reading this long piece of shit #10

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discoveringthebible · 4 years

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Written Easter 2020 Sermon: Luke 24:13-35

Easter 2020 Sermon Luke 24:13-35

Before I get started today, I wanted to pray for all of us. And I want to reassure those who are unsure, that God does hear our prayers and that God is grieved with what is happening in the world right now.

Lord, God, Elohim, we thank you for this day and for the resurrection of your Son, Jesus Christ. We thank you for the opportunity for salvation and for the love that you have for each one of us. Heal this world, Father God. Take this disease that has ravaged communities all around the world and make it disappear. Heal the wounds of those who have lost loved ones, and heal those who are fighting everyday to save many more. The Bible tells us that when we don’t have the words to pray, that your Holy Spirit interprets for us. Interpret the hurt that we are experiencing as humanity. Hold us all close to You. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.

Imagine this: your Boss, one whom you had only known for about three years, but you worked, traveled and spent most of that time with, had been on the radar of some very jealous, older and feared elders in the business. Your Boss is working hard toward revolutionizing the career, with your help and the help of your eleven coworkers. Your Boss wants to redeem and restore the good reputation of the occupation.

The elders, however, did everything they could to sabotage the work that you, your coworkers and your Boss are trying to do.

The jealousy became so bad that they began spreading lies to the government about you, so the Government put all of you on their “watch list”.

All of your clients had nothing but praises for your Boss, you and your coworkers and your honest and trustworthy work. However, a few elders paid off some of your clients to say bad things about you and to give you terrible reviews.

What’s worse was that some of those elders also offered a large sum of money to you and to anyone willing to turn your Boss in. No way! You say, but one of your coworkers takes the bribe and sets your Boss up. And the set up comes when you least expected it—in the middle of the night. Your Boss knew it, but didn’t run away from it.

The government police came to arrest your Boss, you and your coworkers who were still with you. In a panic, you and your coworkers scatter and run into the darkness, leaving your Boss behind, and as a result He is arrested.

You go back into town early in the morning to find out what has happened to Him—feeling guilty about leaving Him behind the night before. Fighting to see through the crowds that have appeared, you realize He was beaten and mocked. He was still wearing his blood-stained clothes, which now looked like rags, barely hanging on Him.

The Governor, who presides over the population where you live and work doesn’t want to persecute your Boss—he doesn’t deem it necessary, but the elders do. They persuade the crowd at the Governor’s house that your Boss deserves the highest form of punishment that can be carried out by the government—death. You couldn’t believe it. Even the Governor couldn’t understand it. He heard testimony from several people and found the entire thing ridiculous.

Once a year, the government released a criminal back to the public. In an attempt to set your Boss free, the Governor presents a choice to the crowd: Your Boss, or a murderer. As you begin shouting your Boss’ name, the elders begin chanting the murderer’s name and motions the crowd to do the same. As hard as you try, hardly anyone is chanting your Boss’ name.

Dismayed, the Governor lets the murderer go. He then addresses the crowd, wanting to know what punishment he should carry out. The elders begin chanting “Crucify Him!” And the crowd follows and does the same. Bound by the law and afraid that this matter will go above his head, the Governor does what the crowd commands. Jesus is taken away, only to reemerge hours later, with more bruises and covered in more blood. He was beaten again, so severely, He could barely walk. Then He was paraded through the streets, forced to carry the cross He will die on.

You watch in horror as they drive nails into His body—first with his right hand, then his left. Then they place one foot over the other and drive an even larger nail through both feet, into the wooden cross, currently laying on the ground. And each time He screams in pain. Another crowd has gathered, some are horrified, some are overjoyed and others don’t know what to make of the situation. Government officials stand the cross up and put it into the hole they dug so it would stand up. Your Boss cried out in pain again. And slowly, H begins to suffocate along with two other criminals who were already hanging on their crosses.

After He dies, He is buried. And then it’s the hard reality of What are we going to do now? Between you and your ten coworkers. Some of them go back to what they did before they were recruited by your Boss: fishing. As this was how they knew they could earn income. As for the one who betrayed your Boss, He was filled with so much remorse and regret that He killed himself.

As you prepare to head back to your hometown of Emmaus, some women, who also worked with you had this remarkable story a couple of days later. They went to go mourn him, but His body was gone! It vanished! What could it mean? You wondered…

This story just happened to the two men we see in Luke 24:13-35. Their world had turned upside town and they were just trying to pick up the pieces.

The Gospel of Luke gives us a unique account of these two on their way to Emmaus. This story takes place after Mary, Jesus’ mother, Mary Magdalene, and Peter saw Jesus’ empty tomb first hand.

Verse 13: That same day two of Jesus’ followers were walking to the village of Emmaus, seven miles from Jerusalem. 14: As they walked along, they were talking about everything that had happened. 15: As they talked and discussed these things, Jesus himself suddenly came and began walking with them.

16: But God kept them from recognizing him.

17: He asked them, “What are you discussing so intently as you walk along?” They stopped short; sadness written across their faces.

18: Then one of them, Cleopas, replied, “You must be the only person in Jerusalem who hasn’t heard about all the things that have happened there in the last few days.”

19: “What things?”

Let’s stop here a minute and let this sink in. These two guys must have thought that this traveler came from under a rock. Jesus’ death had occurred during Passover Week.

Passover has been celebrated from the time when the Jewish people were enslaved in Egypt. Moses was trying to free the Jewish people, who were slaves, from Ramses II. But Pharaoh’s heart was hardened, which was why God sent the Ten Plagues to cover the entire land of Egypt. And the last one was a doozy: It claimed the firstborn male of every Egyptian household.

The Jewish Community was spared because they spread lamb or goat blood across their door frames to keep the death angel from taking their firstborn males. The death angel passed over them.

This Passover Celebration was the reason why Jews from all over the Empire (no, I’m not making a Star Wars pun), the Roman Empire were there in Jerusalem. Everyone knew what had happened to Jesus—all it seemed except for this unknown traveler. Plus, all of this was fresh on Christ’s mind—having gone through all the torture, suffering, death and resurrection.

Back to verse 19:

19: “What things?” Jesus asked. “The things that happened to Jesus, the man from Nazareth,” they replied. “He was a prophet who did powerful miracles, and he was a mighty teacher in the eyes of God and all the people. 20: But our leading priests and other religious leaders handed him over to be condemned to death and they crucified him. 21: We had hoped he was the Messiah who had come to rescue Israel. All this happened three days ago.”

Another pause here.

The Jewish community was under Roman government control and they were persecuted because they were Jewish. They had high taxes, and they were treated terribly. Many people thought that the Messiah was going to free them from the Roman government and become their King, like they had in the Old Testament—a King, like David or Solomon. However, they misunderstood the purpose of the Messiah and didn’t realize that Jesus came and His purpose was much bigger than just freeing them from the Romans. He had come to save their souls.

Verse 22: Then some women from our group of his followers were all at the tomb early this morning, and they came back with an amazing report. 23: They said his body was missing, and they had seen angels who told them Jesus is alive!

24: Some of our men ran out to see and sure enough, his body was gone, just as the women had said.”

25: Then Jesus said to them, “You foolish people! You find it so hard to believe all that the prophets wrote in the Scriptures. 26: Wasn’t it clearly predicted that the Messiah would have to suffer all these things before entering his glory?”

During this time, every man had a basic religious education—they grew up reading, memorizing and saying Scripture aloud. (Imagine for a moment, if we did this as a society. What would our neighborhoods, schools, jobs and lives look like if we actually studied the Scriptures on a daily basis?)

As Jesus points out, it shouldn’t have been a surprise that He was killed. His death was fulfilled in Scripture that was written several hundred years before Jesus was even born. (If you want to check out some of those passages, take a look at Daniel 9:24-27; Haggai 2:6-9; Isaiah 7:14; 8:14; 53:3-6; Jeremiah 31:15; Psalm 22; and Zechariah 9:9.) I will also post this list in the comments of this video. Psalm 22 is a great example. Christ even quoted part of the first verse while hanging on the cross! “My God, my God. Why have you abandoned me?” To those who heard Him, they would have known the entire psalm, including verses 16-18:

16: My enemies surround me like a pack of dogs, an evil gang closes in on me. They have pierced my hands and feet. 17: I can count all of my bones. My enemies stare at me and gloat. 18: They divide my garments among themselves and throw dice for my clothing.

Another great example is Isaiah 53:3-6: 3: He was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care. 4: Yet it was our weakness he carried, it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment from his own sins! 5: But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. 6: All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all.

Let this sink in for a moment.

“Yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all.”

Isaiah lived approximately 700 years before Christ. Isaiah didn’t write these words about himself. This was the prophecy.

It was all laid out, but many people in Jesus’ time, had missed the true purpose of His coming. And even the ones who knew Jesus was the Messiah, they had misunderstood His real purpose, which was to set people free from their sins—not to restore Israel as a powerful military nation, as it was believed He would.

Back to Luke 24 Verse 27: Then Jesus took them through the writing of Moses and all the prophets, explaining the things concerning himself.

28: By this time, they were nearing Emmaus and the end of their journey. Jesus acted as if he were going on, 29: but they begged him, “Stay the night with us, since it is getting late.” So he went home with them.

30: As they sat down to eat, he took the bread and blessed it. Then it broke it and gave it to them. 31: Suddenly, their eyes were opened, and they recognized him. At that moment he disappeared!

32: They said to each other, “Did our hearts not burn within us as he talked with us?”

33: And within the hour they were on their way back to Jerusalem. There they found the eleven disciples and the others who had gathered with them, 34: who said, “The Lord has really risen! He appeared to Peter!”

35: Then the two from Emmaus told their story of how Jesus had appeared to them as they were walking along the road, and how they had recognized him as he was breaking bread.

This is a pretty incredible story.

Growing up, I had never paid much attention to the Resurrection story in Luke’s gospel. The small Southern Baptist church I was raised in tended to preach the Resurrection story from Matthew, Mark and John.

And if it wasn’t for Emmaus Church Community, a Nazarene church I started attending when I was seventeen, I still might not be paying that much attention to it. The other three gospels do not even mention Emmaus. One of the lessons that, as a Christian, I take away from this story is that sometimes, I miss it. And that isn’t always a great feeling—I don’t like to think of the things that I’ve goofed up, or things that I have missed or even messed up, but without that reflection, we don’t strive to be better. I don’t strive to be better.

Most who know me know I have felt a call into ministry—Deaf ministry to be exact. I was called back in August of 2002 when I was just thirteen years old. And this was during a time when a devastating life experience caused me to walk away from God. What I was taught about God didn’t match up with what I had witnessed and experienced and I couldn’t understand why, so out of extreme frustration, I took a break from God. There actually was no intention of returning to God, but I am grateful that God never left me. And about a year and a half later, I recommitted my life to Christ.

On August 9th 2002, I heard God’s voice. He said to me, “Cody, I want you to minister to those who cannot hear.”

I told my youth pastor about it. He was excited for the God encounter I had, probably because I needed it, but a part of him was excited because he was sitting next to me when it happened. After we returned from our week at summer camp, with all the other kids in youth group, my youth pastor thought it would be a great idea to share this call into ministry with the elders in the church. After explaining what had happened, they suggested that I look for ways to become a missionary. (At the time, I didn’t understand the difference between ‘minister’ and ‘missionary.’ Plus, in that church’s denomination, they do not believe women should preach from the pulpit.)

Over the course of the next ten years, and changing churches, every time I tried to sign up for a missionary trip, whether near or abroad, there would always be something that prevented me from going. And I had started to become frustrated. After much reflection and council, and a group trip with the college concert band I was a part of, God pointed out I had missed the mark.

I had misunderstood His call.

That’s a pretty big thing to miss.

God had called me to be a minister.

The dictionary defines ‘minister’ as “a person authorized to conduct religious worship, a member of the clergy, pastor.” It defines ‘missionary’ as “a person sent by a church into an area to carry on evangelism or other activities, as education or hospital work.”

Don’t get me wrong, both are wonderful calls from God, and quite frankly, we need more people to accept God’s calls, whether that is being a missionary, pastor, or something else.

Some of you might think I missed the mark because I was led to believe a different call. At first, I thought so too—but I don’t think so anymore. This call was mine. It didn’t belong to the church elders. A part of me thought that this call might include preaching, which was something I was against. I disliked public speaking. I despised it. Nope. I hate it. Part of it had to do with a speech impediment I had as a child. (And yet, somehow, I now hold a Bachelor’s Degree in Communication Science, and I took Advanced Public Speaking voluntarily.)

I couldn’t pronounce two letters of the alphabet: L’s and R’s.

But, do you know what the problem really was? Why I didn’t really own my call?

I was full of excuses. Just like Moses in Exodus 3 and 4.

However, I want to tell you that this passage in Luke 24 is about forgiveness of our shortcomings. It’s about love. It’s about a God who loved us so much that He would send His Son to suffer and die on a cross for us—including our excuses and reasons why we didn’t and sometimes just don’t get it. For the times that we missed the mark. Asking God to forgive us for our shortcomings and for the times we missed it is important. It’s also about forgiving ourselves and forgiving others. God’s forgiveness of our sin isn’t a direct result of us forgiving others, but it is about us realizing what forgiveness means.

Ephesians 4:32 says, 32: “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” As Christians, we are forgiven by God when we ask for it.

But what about those who don’t consider themselves Christian?

Right now, we are living in a pretty scary time, with a lot of uncertainty ahead. As we watch or read the news, we are reminded of our mortality as humanity when we see people succumbing to COVID-19.

I am here to tell you that through this difficult time: God loves you. God sent Jesus to live as human, to die on the cross for our sins and to be raised again.

John 3:16-17 says, 16: For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. 17: God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.

I encourage you to make peace with God. Salvation is a process, while the commitment is immediate, salvation is a lifelong process which includes a relationship with Jesus Christ, as well as a church family in which you can continue to learn and grow from. If you want to become a Christian, the first step is to pray. Ask God for forgiveness. Ask Him to forgive you for your shortcomings and sins. (This is a process that will continue also as a Christian, or at least, it should.) Ask Jesus to become your Savior and make a commitment to follow in Jesus’ footsteps. And then thank God for His Saving Grace.

Romans 10:13 says, 13: “For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Also see Joel 2:32).

If you prayed this prayer for the first time, or if you are recommitting yourself to God, please let me know in the comments below, or in a private message. I want to celebrate with you and help you find a Bible preaching church in which you can continue in this journey.

If you are not ready, that is okay too. If you have questions, or would like more information, also, please feel free to comment below, or to message me. I am willing to help you.

For my Christian brothers and sisters, we need to remember to pray for those who are not yet Christian. We need to be reaching out to those who are especially lost and confused as this Coronavirus ravages the world.

I want everyone to know that you are loved. You are valued. You matter.

Let’s pray:

Father God, we thank you for this message of grace and salvation. Open the hearts and ears of those who need this message, Lord. Let us remember, that You love us unconditionally. And that Your death on the cross and Your resurrection was for us. You did that, so that we wouldn’t have to die a sinner’s death. We love you Lord. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

I wanted to leave you all with a benediction, or blessing. It comes from 1 Corinthians.

“My love to all of you in Christ Jesus. Amen.” (1 Corinthians 16:24)

#sermon #easter #resurrection

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mikeedpp · 5 years

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Baguio has always been a special place for me.

The first memory I have of it was when I complained about how ‘hot’ it was in Baguio back in the early 2000’s. I was wearing a matching plain yellow pullover and denim pants with my older sister, so my parents bought a white shirt for me, thinking that my pullover was sweating me out, but I actually wanted the blue-tinted Hello Kitty sunglasses I saw on the street vendor in Burnham Park to cool me down from the ‘heat.’ (This memory makes me hate my younger self! Haha!) Our family gatherings in Baguio went on as we grow. We would often go up north with a different set of relatives whenever long weekends and special occasions come. One of the most memorable trips though was when my deceased lolo Mario would keep a roof over our heads through his friend’s rustic house.

In 2011, my high school batchmates and I had a retreat in Mirador Jesuit Villa Retreat House Society of Jesus located atop Lourdes Grotto. It was one of the most awaited events in our high school life because we are going to spend our last retreat in Baguio. I remember how our class would listen to Katy Perry’s Peacock in the bus, how my roommate Selina and I would overthink the ghosts in our head, and how my teachers caught my friends illegally paddling in Burnham Park.

In early-December 2016, I got to revisit Baguio after six long years. It has changed a lot, but every corner of it still looked familiar to me. Every familiar place reminded me of a familiar face, especially my lolo Mario who just died nine months before. Baguio became my answer to the question, “Where do broken hearts go?” I went back there on all weekends of December with a different set of friends to create new memories. And it worked! It helped me prevail acceptance over hatred. I was able to move on with a happy heart.

This November, my family and I planned to come back to Baguio in time for the ASEAN Summit holiday to celebrate my mother’s birthday. We already booked roundtrip bus tickets for Friday night, but we got tested twice. First was the coming of Tropical Storm Salome, and second was when my younger sister broke the news that she’ll be having a makeup class on Saturday. My sister has never been (and never will be) absent from school, so it took us a lot of frustrations and compromises just to make our trip happen, but none of them worked.

Through it all, only one thing worked: prayer. For two days, I persistently prayed for our trip, for good weather, for my sister’s discernment, and that the superiors in my sister’s school may realize that this holiday is meant to be enjoyed with the family. As faith would have it, she came home on a Thursday night with the news that their Saturday class got canceled!

Our comeback as a whole family was a long time coming and it was worth the wait! However, the tests did not end at home. Much of our patience were tested in Baguio because this time, we commuted, we didn’t have a private car to carry us around, they relied on me on all of our whereabouts, and my family can’t afford to take long walks. Oh, the perks and the perils of traveling with the whole family!

Because of these, I was able to relearn some things: 1) unlike money, time and energy consumed cannot be replaced; 2) everything takes trust and patience, and 3) God is always with us. Here’s why.

Unlike money, time and energy consumed cannot be replaced. This has become one of my mantras after I graduated from the University. Of course, money is important, but I didn’t want it to become the strength and hindrance of what I choose to do in life.

According to an article on Medium, time, money, and energy are the constants that ‘rule our life.’ “When people are young, they have a lot of time and energy but no money and unfortunately most of them aren’t really wise enough to utilize these constants properly. When they grow into working-class citizens then they have a lot of energy and money but no time. They have work that takes their time. Of course, they are still young, so they have energy too. When they grow old, they have money, if they were smart enough to have saved some for retirement, but have no energy to do all the things they wanted to do when they were young.”

I got reminded of this when my family and I were in Baguio. I prefer walking around the city even if it takes me 15 minutes to reach my destination. I love maximizing its breeze and trees. I absolutely can’t and won’t do that in Manila! However, it is not for everyone. Most roads are steep, which make it hard for impatient and (in denial) aging people—also known as my family—to walk. It takes too much energy from them. This is why I decided to travel and pursue my passions at a young age. I didn’t want to look back on my youth and take a deep breath on the things I could have done while I was young and able. I can earn and save up again, but I can never bring my time and my energy back.

It takes trust and patience. As mentioned above, my family relied on me on all of our whereabouts during our trip. I knew almost every place in Baguio, although choosing where to eat was still a struggle. They kept asking me, “Saan na tayo?” “Malapit na ba?” “Maganda ba doon?” “Masarap ba doon?” As if I will take them somewhere they don’t deserve.

In those moments, I saw myself in them. I saw how worried I am whenever I don’t understand where the Lord is taking me. I often overthink, “How will I achieve this?” “How will I get there?” “How will I do that?” “Are we there yet?” As if our God is not able. As if our God will not fulfill His promises to me and you. As if He doesn’t know what He is doing. As if He doesn’t have the best plans for me. As if He will take me somewhere I don’t deserve.

Yes, waiting is not easy, especially when we don’t know what’s ahead of us. The long hike to the summit, the rocky road to employment, the coming of our future spouse. But in the end, the result is always beautiful because it is from God.

Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” John 13:7

So what do I do during the wait? Waiting doesn’t mean doing nothing. From experience, I decide on what areas in my life I should work on and persistently ask for His blessing and provision on my decisions. In the long run, He will establish your steps. He will reveal His answers to you through the Bible, the people around you, and the experiences you encounter. Work according to His will and believe that he will fulfill His promises for you. All it takes is trust and patience.

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9

God is always with us. It was 10:45 PM when my family and I just got home from the night market on Harrison Road. We thought we can finally rest after the long day until I found out that my phone is missing. I can’t remember how and when I lost it. All I know is that it can’t be lost because I have important files, notes, contacts, and conversations in it. My mother called my number, but it was out of reach on the first attempt. My sister kept calling, while I stayed in the room to compose myself. After a few minutes, someone was blowing the horn. My father and sister went out, only to find out that it was the taxi driver who drove us home from the night market. “Nagulat ako may umiilaw sa baba,” he said as he gave my phone back. “Thank you, angel, ha!” my father shouted in delight. When I went closer to them, I saw the name of the taxi (Angel Brielle Rose Taxi) and the name of the operator (Emmanuel Altaki).

Emmanuel means God is with us.

This incident reminded me that God is always with us. We are only passengers in this world. He assigns our respective driver to guide and protect us along the way, and He alone is the operator of all the rides we encounter. God is good. He is faithful. He is in control. He got it all figured out. He never fails. In all ways, always.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

You see, relearning is one of the reasons why I like revisiting places. No experience is ever the same because places continuously reveal new aspects of the things we thought we already know. They keep on reintroducing themselves in the form of new experiences, new people, new food, new wisdom, and new eyes that no new place could ever give.

This goes the same with our life. God lets us revisit our life every waking day to let us make things right, to be a blessing to others, to maximize the talents and skills He has given us, and to glorify Him alone.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

What place do you keep coming back to? What relearning experiences do you get every time you come back? How does God reveal Himself to you when you’re out there? I’d love to know your stories and testimonies!

Mikee

This post was originally published on Nov. 29, 2017, in my now-defunct website World In My Words.

#baguio

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dailyaudiobible · 3 years

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09/29/2021 DAB Transcript

Isaiah 57:15-59:21, Philippians 1:1-26, Psalms 71:1-24, Proverbs 24:9-10

Today is the 29th day of September welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian it's wonderful to be here with you today as we come together and take the next step forward. Today we’ll be continuing our journey through the book of Isaiah in the Old Testament. In the New Testament we are moving into some new territory, the letter to the Philippians. And we’ll talk about that when we get there. We’re reading from the Christian Standard Bible this week. Isaiah chapter 57 verse 15 through 59 verse 21.

Introduction to the letter to the Philippians:

Okay. As…as I mentioned at the beginning, we’re moving into some new territory here in the New Testament, Paul's letter to the Philippians. And this is one of the letters among biblical scholars and historians that Paul's authorship, just about no one debates about this, holds it as an authentic letter of Paul, not just a letter of…of Pauline school or Pauline theology or thought, but from Paul. And there's little disagreement that he was incarcerated when he wrote this letter. And, so, that would likely date this letter somewhere around 61, the year 61 A.D. and written from Rome while he's awaiting a trial before the Emperor. And, so, we realize reading up prison epistle, a letter written while Paul was in prison, but it's also very early Christian text. So, this letter was written before the Gospels were written – Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. It was written before the book of Acts was written. So, we have a really early letter here written to the Philippians, those at the church in the city called Philippi, which was a colony of the Roman Empire in the region of Macedonia, which is now the northern part of Greece. And Philippi was a prosperous enough city, but it…it appears that the church was not particularly wealthy. They were…they were poor, but rich in love and rich in their allegiance to Paul. And, so, part of this letter is just gratitude, thank…thanks for that. The church in Philippi knew Paul was in prison so they sent somebody to check on him, someone named Epaphroditus who was a part of the congregation there, went to Rome to find out how Paul was doing, bring him a gift from the congregation to support him to lift his spirits. And you can imagine Paul being in prison in Rome on a capital…like a life-or-death case, would find encouragement and comfort in…in this gesture and in any way he could. And Epaphroditus stayed with Paul. And, so, helped Paul during his incarceration, but he eventually got really sick and just about died. And, so, when Epaphroditus got well enough again Paul wanted to send him back to Philippi along with this letter to the Philippians which talks of his circumstances. And, so, in part just the well-being of Paul, like a missionary update. But there's so much more. Paul's in prison writing language of the joy of our salvation more than is expressed in any of his other letters and perseverance. And this is something that we’re gonna keep seeing all the way to the end of the year, more and more. Perseverance and endurance become such an increasing pervasive disruptive theme because perseverance is the last thing we necessarily want to sign up for. But endurance is critical to the life of faith and actually the human experience. And, so, Paul encourages perseverance, and that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us, which kinda…I mean the last couple years…I mean I could say even longer than that, but we all know what 2020 was like and very different kind of experience of a year. And we’re trying to move back into whatever normal might be, whatever this new normal is, get back to how things were. But Philippians really speaks to us where we are if we’re looking for it. And, so, we begin. Philippians chapter 1 verses 1 through 26.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for this new letter to the Philippians that we are just getting into, and we invite You to speak to us from days gone by, into the heart of the matter that is happening even today, which is what Your word does. It reveals to us plenty of things over time, and it always lands where we are. And, so, come Holy Spirit and plant the Scriptures in our lives and our hearts pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

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And if you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, if being around this Global Campfire together every day is life-giving then thank you for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement you can hit the Hotline button in the app, little red button up at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that is it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hey everybody this is Jonathan from Denver. Speaking in the terms of the story of the prodigal son, this past week I have really been off in the far country. I…I really walked away from God, and I fell into my own desires and my own vices, and I was incredibly selfish and just been kind of digging myself deeper into a hole. Today I woke up and kind of just realized how miserable I am. So, I am trying to get back. I fell behind. I wasn't…I wasn't listening to DAB so now I'm catching up. But I just need prayer, that I would fall back into the arms of Christ and let Him fill me and satisfy me instead of trying to satisfy myself with all the selfish desires. So, if you could all just please be praying I would really appreciate that. I hope you’re doing great day and I love you. Bye.

Hey DAB family I'm a first-time caller. I've been listening to the Daily Audio Bible since January 1st and shout out to Jamie in Illinois for encouraging me to check it out because it has definitely changed my life. To the gentleman who mentioned yesterday that he had prayed and asked God to give him a name, that a lot of people use, handle on here, not his word but my word, anyway that they use that to identify themselves instead of their real names. And, so, thank you for that. I can introduce myself as His Crown of Daisies and I have a prayer request. I have a broken, shattered relationship with my father and stepmother, and they have agreed to see me sometime next month to sit down and talk about the things that happened, the drama that happened, all the things that shattered the relationship and to possibly begin the process of restoring those relationships. I have two sons and they don't know their grandfather, or their step grandmother and I really feel like that needs to be rectified. Boys need a grandpa. The girls do too, I'm not saying they don't. But those…this girl needs her daddy. I don't care how old you get; you still need your dad and I would appreciate your prayers for that. Thank you.

Hi DAB family this is Angie from Eugene OR and today I am calling for prayer request for my daughter Savannah. She has stress related IBS and colitis and terrible stomach problems. But more…worse than that she has anxiety. She's in college. She's 20 years old, she's had a pretty rough time. She lost her dad to pancreatic cancer a year ago. She was very very close to him. She lost me, her mom, to drug addiction from the age of 12 to the age of 20. So, I am now sober two years and have been in contact with her for two years by phone. I moved to the state to be by her once I was able to and things are going great now between us. We are rebuilding our relationship but because of the abandonment from me and then the death of her father this little girl has had to be extra strong, and she has suffered immensely to no fault of her own. However, she is resilient, and she just is an amazingly strong girl. So, she faces a lot of challenges at school and in college. She goes to the University of Idaho, and she has to deal with the peer pressure, the drinking, which she confines in me about. But God has brought me out of addiction and he has restored a relationship with me and her which I never believed was even impossible. I never even believed I could be where I am today. So, anyways I’m praying for her stress, I’m praying for her anxiety, I'm praying for her stomach pain. I'm about to run out of time. I love you guys. Thank you, Brian and God bless everybody. Amen. Thank…

Good morning this is Longing to be God's Delight in Pennsylvania. I'm calling in this morning for Maggie Mae who I heard a few days ago in utter despair over the illness of…it sounded like all of her family, there were children and grandchildren, and her voice was just so…so torn and with pain and…and fear and not knowing where to turn. It just broke my heart. I'm also praying for Lazarus who called in this morning. I’ve been praying for him for who was in desperate need of shoulder surgery and extreme financial straits, about to lose his apartment and in terrible pain. Lord, we just don't know where to turn. So, his advice is wise, to turn to Jesus. I want to pray from Psalm 103. Lord, we bless You, we bless You from the depths of our souls and inner being. Help us Lord not to forget Your benefits, to remember that You do forgive us. You have…have died, You sent Jesus to die for us and You do heal our diseases and redeem us from the pit. You crown us with love and mercy and satisfy us with good. I pray for Maggie Mae and her attire family and for Lazarus and for all of us that You would lift them up…lift us up, heal us, renew our Youth like the eagles. Work righteousness in us. Help us Holy Spirit to keep in Your loving arms. I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Hi DAB this is Renee __ AKA a Kathleen in Illinois and I'm listening on the 27th today on September 27th and I heard Lazarus call in and about being in constant pain and he talked about having to take Percocet every day. That's what I…my mom had had to take that every day because of just chronic pain that she had. And…and I know it's an incredibly strong drug. And I was thinking…and you were saying you're still having pain even despite that. And, so, I just wanted you to know that I'm lifting you up in prayer. In fact, let's just pray Lord right now. Lord Jesus, I wanna lift up Lazarus to you in this chronic pain that he is experiencing and has been experiencing for quite some time. And I pray that…I just pray for healing. I pray for healing for him, just complete healing. I pray that his entire physical body would be renewed, would be raised from the…the death that it is now in, the sickness, the death, that it would be raised just like his namesake Lazarus. I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

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kingdomstroops · 4 years

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Understanding The Bible, It's Reliability And It's History

Understanding the Bible

For a believer, nothing is more important than understanding the Bible. It tells us about God, ourselves, the universe, and how to live life. It teaches us the greatest problem facing humanity (sin and separation from God) and the only solution (Jesus). As a child you accepted what adults told you, assuming it to be true. After all, adults know everything, right? If you grew up in a Christian family, authority figures taught you that the Bible is God’s Word and that you can trust it. Questions with Understanding the Bible However, as you grew older, you realized that you (an adult), didn’t know everything, which meant that your authorities didn’t know everything. In fact, you likely started wondering… Is the Bible even true? How long has it been the Bible? Did it become the Bible after the last book was written, or was it the Bible all along? Out of all the literary works from that time period, how can I be sure we have the right books in the Bible? Is it really a book from God or just another man-made religious book? What about all the mistakes people find in it? If you’ve thought these questions, or ones similar to them, good for you. When you allow doubts to challenge your faith, it helps you prove whether or not your faith is genuine. Don’t be afraid that you have these questions. It’s what you do with them that counts—do you bury them in fear, or do you face them and look for help? Let’s turn now to some of the most common (and important) questions about understanding the Bible.Question 1: How Did the Bible Become the Bible? By God’s design and under His direction, His people the Israelites began compiling works of Scripture thousands of years ago (for two examples, see Deuteronomy 31:26 and Hebrews 9:4). Fast forward, and the early church fathers (as far back as 300 AD!) continued the task. To be clear, these people didn’t decide which books would be Scripture. Instead, they determined which books God had inspired and then compiled those into the canon. (“Canon” is just a fancy word for the books accepted as biblical).Question 2: How Do We Know the Right Books are in the Bible? Early church fathers used several tests to determine which books God had inspired. The first was to look at internal proofs. For example, many passages speak about God preserving His Word. For example, Psalm 119 says, Forever, O Lord, Your word is settled in heaven ~ Psalm 119:89 God values His Word too much to allow humans to mess it up. If we believe He is in control, we must also acknowledge that He guided our forefathers as they compiled the Bible. Additionally, certain biblical authors actually talk about other books and call them Scripture. Peter, speaking of Paul’s writings, says, as also in all his letters, speaking in them of these things, in which are some things hard to understand, which the untaught and unstable distort, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures, to their own destruction. ~ 2 Peter 3:16 “So, you’re saying that to find out if it’s God’s Word, you look at what it says? And since the Bible says it’s God’s Word, that proves that it is? Isn’t that circular reasoning?” In reality, all worldviews come back to presuppositions, faith, and circular reasoning. Christians believe in the integrity of God's word when understanding the Bible—innocent until proven guilty. They believe God created the world because the Bible says so. Evolutionists, because they don’t believe God exists (or if He does, He’s not very involved), champion the theory of evolution. Their presupposition is “no God,” so their conclusion is evolution. The truth is that no one was there at the beginning of time, so we all have to choose to believe in something. The second type of test for canonicity is external proofs. Even over the last few decades, archaeological discoveries match biblical stories and genealogies. For instance, many believed the story of David and Goliath to be fictitious until an incredible discovery. Archaeologists found pottery with the name “Goliath” inscribed in it. The time period and location of this artifact matched up perfectly with the biblical account. This is just one example of thousands! One of the most astounding discoveries in this realm is the Dead Sea Scrolls. In 1947, an unsuspecting shepherd threw a stone into some caves and heard the sound of shattering pottery. When he investigated further, he saw old scrolls rolled up inside pots. He brought them to a dealer to be appraised. They were passed from hand to hand as archaeologists and scholars began to realize their worth. Despite being a couple thousand years old, they matched up with almost the entirety of the modern Bible. Finally, early church fathers analyzed the authority, uniqueness, and universal acceptance of books in order to determine whether or not they were of divine origin. Certain books, like the Apocrypha, failed these tests. While they were historical, they did not carry the same biblical authority, unique attributes, and international acceptance as the books that are now in the Bible. In addition, they contradicted books that God had clearly inspired.Question 3: How Do We Know It’s Not Just Another Book of Religion? One of the most incredible facts about the Bible is its internal unity. Despite its multiple authors across many centuries, it remains consistent to one storyline without contradicting itself. This points to God’s sovereign hand preserving His Word over thousands of years. Another reason the Bible is different from any other book is its transformative power throughout history. By it lives permanently change, fighting ceases, and kingdoms crumble. No other book can honestly boast such importance. Additionally, we see many biblical prophecies clearly fulfilled. The Messiah, Jesus, came born of a virgin (predicted in Isaiah 7:14; fulfilled in Luke 1:34). Cyrus, predicted hundreds of years earlier in Isaiah 45, unwittingly did exactly what God had promised (see 2 Chronicles 36:22-23). By the way, if you’re skeptical, remember that scholars and archaeologists have found external proof that Isaiah was written long before 2 Chronicles (click here for a list of dates).Question 4: What About All the Errors? Despite the Bible claiming that it is error-free (John 10:35), people still find what they believe to be errors in the Bible. While almost none of these affect any major doctrines, they are still important to look at. For instance, what do we do about the discrepancy between Numbers 25:9 and 1 Corinthians 10:8? One says that God killed 24,000 people, but the other says that 23,000 died. It does look like an error, doesn’t it? This could easily be an instance of rounding to the nearest thousand or describing how many died total versus how many died in one day. However, many other minor discrepancies like this occur in the Bible translations. What’s important to understand is that, while God inspired the original text of Scripture, not every copy of the Bible is inspired. Humans copied the text, and humans make mistakes. Another example of a potential problem in understanding the Bible is when it says that God repented or regretted making humanity before He sent the flood (Genesis 6:6). “If God is sovereign and never makes mistakes, how can He regret something?” many people ask. From man’s perspective, God sometimes appears to repent, because His disposition toward a person changes when that person disobeys. Because of the progression of the English language, the choice of the word “repent” in the King James Version could lead people today to believe that God repents in the way humans do (as if He had done something wrong). However, He is probably just using a term that we would understand, since we can’t fathom all the ways of an infinite, all-knowing God. We could tackle many different supposed errors and contradictions in Scripture, but we do not have the time or the space here. However, a serious student of the Scriptures will be able to respond to criticisms against the Bible with intelligence and confidence. While alleged discrepancies often shake a believer’s faith in the inerrancy and inspiration of God’s Word, they should actually engender the opposite mentality. If you just dig a little deeper into the original text, the historical background, and other passages of Scripture, you will come to the realization that God’s Word that spans the centuries is truly like no other book in its harmony, beauty, accuracy, and penetration. Most of the criticisms against it arise out of subjective, biased twisting of Scripture’s plain meaning.Question 5: Can I Understand A Book As Complex As the Bible? Thankfully, many helpful study tools exist for you as you study God’s Word. You don’t have to know Hebrew or Greek to understand it. Other believers have done deep study and compiled their findings in books and articles that are easy to digest. If you’re unsure of what theologians to read, ask your pastor or Christian friend who their favorites are. In conclusion, your quest to understand God’s Word will be lifelong. Thankfully, He doesn’t expect you to have all the answers. If you are a believer, you have the Holy Spirit who will guide you as you try to understand the Bible (1 Corinthians 2:15). Even if you’re not a believer, you can pray for God’s help to understand. He loves to answer humble prayers! But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. ~ James 1:5-6 Go learn Everything You Need To Know About The Word Of God. Read the full article

#godsword #everlasting #praisethelord

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dfroza · 5 years

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A new body.

A sacred and beautiful promise given by the Spirit and spoken in silence to the heart where the voice of God is heard in the sound of earth when a person speaks words inspired by Light and Love within.

and this applies to the Scriptures as well in the significance of speaking its words conserved for us that relate to the rebirth of the heart (through the True illumination of the Son) and the promise of a new spiritual body at some point.

which is what Today’s chapter from the New Testament is all about as words written in the ancient Letter of 2nd Corinthians:

For instance, we know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven—God-made, not handmade—and we’ll never have to relocate our “tents” again. Sometimes we can hardly wait to move—and so we cry out in frustration. Compared to what’s coming, living conditions around here seem like a stopover in an unfurnished shack, and we’re tired of it! We’ve been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what’s ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we’ll never settle for less.

That’s why we live with such good cheer. You won’t see us drooping our heads or dragging our feet! Cramped conditions here don’t get us down. They only remind us of the spacious living conditions ahead. It’s what we trust in but don’t yet see that keeps us going. Do you suppose a few ruts in the road or rocks in the path are going to stop us? When the time comes, we’ll be plenty ready to exchange exile for homecoming.

But neither exile nor homecoming is the main thing. Cheerfully pleasing God is the main thing, and that’s what we aim to do, regardless of our conditions. Sooner or later we’ll all have to face God, regardless of our conditions. We will appear before Christ and take what’s coming to us as a result of our actions, either good or bad.

That keeps us vigilant, you can be sure. It’s no light thing to know that we’ll all one day stand in that place of Judgment. That’s why we work urgently with everyone we meet to get them ready to face God. God alone knows how well we do this, but I hope you realize how much and deeply we care. We’re not saying this to make ourselves look good to you. We just thought it would make you feel good, proud even, that we’re on your side and not just nice to your face as so many people are. If I acted crazy, I did it for God; if I acted overly serious, I did it for you. Christ’s love has moved me to such extremes. His love has the first and last word in everything we do.

[A New Life]

Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own.

Because of this decision we don’t evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don’t look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing. We’re Christ’s representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God’s work of making things right between them. We’re speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he’s already a friend with you.

How? you ask. In Christ. God put the wrong on him who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God.

The Letter of 2nd Corinthians, Chapter 5 (The Message)

and this chapter mirrored in The Passion Translation:

[Living by Faith]

We are convinced that even if these bodies we live in are folded up at death like tents, we will still have a God-built home that no human hands have built, which will last forever in the heavenly realm. We inwardly sigh as we live in these physical “tents,” longing to put on a new body for our life in heaven, in the belief that once we put on our new “clothing” we won’t find ourselves “naked.” So, while living in this “tent,” we groan under its burden, not because we want to die but because we want these new bodies. We crave for all that is mortal to be swallowed up by eternal life. And this is no empty hope, for God himself is the one who has prepared us for this wonderful destiny. And to confirm this promise, he has given us the Holy Spirit, like an engagement ring, as a guarantee.

That’s why we’re always full of courage. Even while we’re at home in the body, we’re homesick to be with the Master—for we live by faith, not by what we see with our eyes. We live with a joyful confidence, yet at the same time we take delight in the thought of leaving our bodies behind to be at home with the Lord. So whether we live or die we make it our life’s passion to live our lives pleasing to him. For one day we will all be openly revealed before Christ on his throne so that each of us will be duly recompensed for our actions done in life, whether good or worthless.

[The Message of Reconciliation]

Since we are those who stand in holy awe of the Lord, we make it our passion to persuade others to turn to him. We know that our lives are transparent before the God who knows us fully, and I hope that we are also well known to your consciences. Again, we are not taking an opportunity to brag, but giving you information that will enable you to be proud of us, and to answer those who esteem outward appearances while overlooking what is in the heart.

If we are out of our minds in a blissful, divine ecstasy, it is for God, but if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit. For it is Christ’s love that fuels our passion and motivates us, because we are absolutely convinced that he has given his life for all of us. This means all died with him, so that those who live should no longer live self-absorbed lives but lives that are poured out for him—the one who died for us and now lives again. So then, from now on, we have a new perspective that refuses to evaluate people merely by their outward appearances. For that’s how we once viewed the Anointed One, but no longer do we see him with limited human insight.

Now, if anyone is enfolded into Christ, he has become an entirely new creation. All that is related to the old order has vanished. Behold, everything is fresh and new. And God has made all things new, and reconciled us to himself, and given us the ministry of reconciling others to God. In other words, it was through the Anointed One that God was shepherding the world, not even keeping records of their transgressions, and he has entrusted to us the ministry of opening the door of reconciliation to God. We are ambassadors of the Anointed One who carry the message of Christ to the world, as though God were tenderly pleading with them directly through our lips. So we tenderly plead with you on Christ’s behalf, “Turn back to God and be reconciled to him.” For God made the only one who did not know sin to become sin for us, so that we who did not know righteousness might become the righteousness of God through our union with him.

The Letter of 2nd Corinthians, Chapter 5 (The Message)

and this promised spiritual body will no longer be sexual in nature as we know in our relationships here in this world, with the sacred sexual bond God created of a man’s body becoming as “One” with a woman, the very bond of marriage. for in Love we aren’t supposed to be having sex outside this (Full Circle) line, nor to engage sexually with someone of the same sex. this is spiritual truth from our Creator. and not that people aren’t naturally attracted to other people, regardless of gender, because people do experience an undeniable sexual attraction when reaching a mature enough age when hormones kick in, making the desire to have sex a significant part of life’s experience. human sexual attraction is a strong force, yet in Love it is intended to remain pure which calls for much restraint. a very difficult thing to choose. but still, a decision based not on what we will, but what the Spirit reveals to be best. for the body is the Temple of the Spirit and it actually belongs to God and so it really matters what we do with it sexually.

and along with this reading for day 166 of the year we conclude with the lines of Psalm 16 now with the book of 150 (silent) Songs in its 2nd revolution of reading for the year. and being silent in nature, since the instrumentation cannot be heard, they are more like poems written down and what i personally view as the nature of instrumental poetry...

[Psalm 16]

The Golden Secret

A precious song, engraved in gold, by King David

Keep me safe, O mighty God.

I run for dear life to you, my safe place.

So I said to the Lord God,

“You are my Maker, my Mediator, and my Master.

Any good thing you find in me has come from you.”

And he said to me, “My holy lovers are wonderful,

my majestic ones, my glorious ones,

fulfilling all my desires.”

Yet there are those who yield to their weakness,

and they will have troubles and sorrows unending.

I never gather with such ones,

nor give them honor in any way.

Lord, I have chosen you alone as my inheritance.

You are my prize, my pleasure, and my portion.

I leave my destiny and its timing in your hands.

Your pleasant path leads me to pleasant places.

I’m overwhelmed by the privileges

that come with following you,

for you have given me the best!

The way you counsel and correct me makes me praise you more,

for your whispers in the night give me wisdom,

showing me what to do next.

Because you are close to me and always available,

my confidence will never be shaken,

for I experience your wrap-around presence every moment.

My heart and soul explode with joy—full of glory!

Even my body will rest confident and secure.

For you will not abandon me to the realm of death,

nor will you allow your Holy One to experience corruption.

For you bring me a continual revelation of resurrection life,

the path to the bliss that brings me face-to-face with you.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 16 (The Passion Translation)

my reading from the Scriptures for Saturday, june 15, day 88 of Spring and day 166 of the year:

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childrenofhypnos · 7 years

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Chapter 13: Black Eyes

Emery woke up to Wes poking her in the ribs. She’d slid sideways and come to rest with her cheek on his shoulder. She had dreamed of the stuffy room and the VHS tapes and the cigarette carpet, but there were no three men, and the little boy really was Edgar. Waking from it had been relief enough, but another relief was that she and Wes were still at the same place on the edge of the lake. No dream windows had swallowed them while she slept. She righted herself and Wes, looking as if he’d just woken up himself, fell asleep almost instantly. In minutes--or what must have been minutes--he’d slumped into her, their shoulders together, his head resting atop hers. She let him stay there; the weight felt nice.

The breeze rippled the surface of the lake. The trees swayed gently on the opposite shore. The poppy fields, wide and endless, shivered. The hypnotism of it relaxed her and also kept her awake. She tore herself away from the scene only long enough to look up at the lone mountain. The rivers that fed the lake originated from high on the mountain, the top of which was so tall it was almost swallowed by the purple clouds.

Her head had stopped pounding, but exhaustion still weighed her down. After checking to make sure Wes was asleep, she let herself cry. She wanted to be sitting in Grandpa Al’s office, sipping tea and watching leaves fall from the woods to scatter across the sports fields. She wanted to be in her dorm room with Edgar, watching The Good, The Bad, & the Ugly and quoting lines before the characters had a chance to say them.

She really wanted her parents to climb through a gateway and pull her out of the Dream, but they were overseas somewhere, doing some kind of important, covert work for the Hypnos State.

With that last wish conceived, considered, and discarded, Emery wiped the tears from her face and took a deep breath.

Some time later, Wes woke up again. She didn’t know when, exactly, because she didn’t know he was awake until he lifted his head from hers. They sat in silence and watched the lake ripple.

“This place is different than the other parts of the Dream,” Emery said.

“It’s more peaceful.”

“More peaceful? Compared to everything else, this is heaven.”

Wes made a noise.

“Wesley Jager, did you just laugh?”

“I’d call it more of a snort, but whatever you want.”

“I wasn’t even trying to be funny.”

“You try to be funny? I thought you were trying to be annoying.”

“Well I do that, too, but--” Emery caught the smile sneaking across his face. “And cracking jokes, too? Wes, you’re scaring me.”

“Ridley says I’m only funny when I don’t mean to be. Most of my jokes don’t go over very well. I think they come off as harsh.”

“Hey, there’s one thing we have in common. And younger siblings, I guess.”

“I like Edgar. He’s…thoughtful.”

“Yeah, he likes you, too. When have you two ever interacted?”

“There were a few times. I think he gets teased a lot by some other kids in his class. I sat with him at lunch a few times so they would leave him alone. I know I’m not the most popular, either, but generally people don’t mess with a guy who has a giant hammer.”

Wes said it lightly, like it was no big deal. He looked away across the lake.

Everything inside Emery went very still, and in the stillness a single clear note rang out. She had felt the sensation only twice before: the first time when she met Joel; the second when she met Jacqueline.

“He does,” she said. “Thank you.”

Wes shrugged.

“I’m sorry for saying you were useless, and would get in my way.” She busied herself with her bootlaces so she wouldn’t have to look at him. “Actually sorry, not just saying it to get you off my back. I don’t want this to sound like one of those fake apologies. I, um, I’m glad I’m not here alone.”

“Oh.” He paused. “I am, too. Glad I’m not here alone.”

“You wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me.”

“Yeah, well.”

Another long pause.

“Do you know why people don’t like you?” Wes said. He said it lightly, again, but in a way that made it very clear he was tiptoeing around her. “This is a legitimate question, I’m not trying to make you mad.”

“Because people like to hate people who are good at things?”

“It’s because of your parents.”

“Because my parents are good at things?”

“Because you have parents.”

Emery looked up.

“A lot of them--a lot of us--don’t have one parent, let alone two. A lot of us don’t have grandparents, either, and definitely not grandparents that run the school. I only have Ridley, and I still consider myself lucky. Last year, Isaiah Howard got the statistics for the number of dreamhunters under the North American Ward who pass their Insanity Primes. The percentage was so low they didn’t publicize the numbers.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Your parents were in that percentage. Ours weren’t. You’re going to be in that percentage. We’re not. We weren’t made to be great dreamhunters; we were made to be regular dreamhunters. At some point we all kind of realized we were here so that the Hypnos State has meat shields to throw at the nightmares. If some of us live longer, that’s a plus for them. If we don’t, oh well, there’ll be a new generation to take our place.

“But you--you’re their golden child. We all heard the stories about your parents. The others don’t dislike you because you’re good at things. They dislike you because you were made to be good at things. Because the Ward needs us, but they want you, so you have everything you need to do well. Your family, the best teachers, leniency when you do something wrong.”

Emery balked. “But…none of that is my fault.”

“No, it isn’t. That doesn’t mean it’s not unfair, or that it’s wrong for the others to be angry. I was angry. It was worse because you clearly didn’t know, and you went happily on as if we were all jerks for treating you like that.”

“I didn’t--”

His look silenced her. “It was the way we felt. It’s the way they still feel.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“I don’t think so. It’s not…about you. Not really. Most of them don’t know you.”

Emery sat back against the boulder, wanting to scoff but holding it in, because he’d said he wasn’t trying to make her angry, and she believed him. “What about you? Do you know me?”

“Better than I did. Honestly, if I had to be stuck in the Dream with anyone, I’m glad it’s you.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “You’re top of the class. If anyone could figure out how to get us out of here, it’s probably you.”

“Says the kid who can dreamform like he’s already graduated. Speaking of which—” Emery sat up straight. “You never did explain why you get such terrible grades when you can dreamform like you do. You made that ladder—twice—and you tore through that closet door. Where did you learn that? And why am I the only one who knows you can do it? I’m assuming I’m the only one?”

Wes looked away. Looked back. Sighed. “Ridley knows. I practiced a lot when we were younger. I was, um, inspired. I don’t tell anyone because the Ward tends to send particularly good dreamformers on certain kinds of missions. Missions that go into the Dream.”

“And you didn’t want to go?”

“I’d heard that hunters who entered the Dream often were more likely to suffer more serious Insanity Primes. I didn’t want to make things harder on myself than they were already going to be.”

He looked around and put his hands up in the air as if to say, Look at this mess.

“I don’t blame you,” Emery said. “I know everyone thinks I’m going to breeze through my Insanity Prime, but that just makes me feel like I’m not. It’ll be the big joke—Queen Emery couldn’t hack it, right? Everyone thought she’d pass the Prime, turns out she was the one who failed spectacularly. It seems silly to complain about it, though, because you’re right: I have my whole family to get me through it. It must be so much worse for someone who doesn’t. If—if you don’t mind me asking—”

“My parents are dead,” Wes said. “Both of them were hit hard by their Insanity Primes. They were so far gone, the North American Ward sentenced them to dream death before their doppelgängers could come looking for them.”

Emery had heard of dream death in passing, during studies of the Insanity Prime, but she had never seen it performed. That was a ritual left to the dreamkillers. All she knew was that it involved the separation of the subconscious from the conscious, releasing the hunter’s connection to the Dream and forcing their minds to cannibalize until the dreamhunter died. It was only performed once the dreamhunter was too far gone to realize it was happening, but to Emery it still sounded terrible.

“We do it that way,” Grandpa Al had said once, “because there’s nothing we can do to help them, and it stops their doppelgänger from wreaking havoc to get the hunter’s body, then wreaking more havoc once they have it.”

A doppelgänger was another dreamform, but this one developed without the dreamhunter’s permission. It was a manifestation of a hunter’s subconscious that grew as the hunter became more powerful. Doppelgängers were tied tightly to the Insanity Prime, since that was the time that most dreamhunters reached their peaks, and it was because of the doppelgängers that so many hunters succumbed.

“Did your parents ever see their doppelgängers?” Emery asked, quietly.

Wes shook his head. “I don’t know. They were taken to the Ward headquarters in D.C. a long time before I understood what was happening to them. I hope they didn’t. I heard it’s terrifying.”

So had Emery, but she’d heard it from her parents, who had both killed theirs. Doppelgängers wanted only one thing: to live in the waking world. To do that, they needed a real body, and only their dreamhunter’s would work.

Dreamkillers, like Grandpa Al, like her parents, were named for killing their doppelgängers. If they didn’t, the doppelgängers would kill them.

“Did your parents say what it was like?” Wes asked.

“They said it was the hardest thing they’ve ever done.” Emery pulled her knees up to her chest. “You’re destroying a part of your own mind, and it looks like you. That can’t be easy.”

“I know you only survive if you do see it and kill it, but I’ve always wished I wouldn’t have to. I jump every time I look in a mirror.”

“Only if your hair floats.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I think Lenton mentioned it a few times in class,” Emery said. “That’s how you know the doppelgänger from the dreamhunter. The doppelgänger’s hair floats, like they’re in water. My dad says it’s because they’re still part of the Dream, and no matter how much they want to be corporeal, they can’t completely separate themselves.”

“Floating hair.” Wes scrubbed his hand through his brown waves. After so many dream-windows and however much time without a shower, his hair was limp and dull. “They look exactly like us, don’t they? Is that based on our actual forms, or how we think we look? Our current state, or how we should look?”

“How you should look? What does that mean? You look how you look.”

“I mean like…if anything changed between now and when we were born.”

Emery let out a long, exaggerated sigh. “Hypnos’s balls, Wes, I hate riddles. What are you talking about?”

Wes frowned. “I’m talking about my eyes. Isn’t…I thought everyone knew. I thought you’d know, anyway, because of your grandpa.”

“Your eyes?”

His eyes were black, flat black, as always, like they were all pupil. It made him look drugged sometimes. Intense. Emery had always thought they were strange. Sometimes people just looked strange. But people didn’t have black eyes. Very dark brown, maybe, but not black. Emery shifted. His gaze followed her.

“They’re dreamforms?”

He nodded.

Permanent dreamforms took a degree of skill most dreamhunters never mastered. Their weapons were the only permanent dreamform most dreamhunters managed to make, and they were guided carefully through every step of the process for over two years. Other permanent dreamforms took months of molding and shaping, hard focus, and a depth of understanding about what was being created in order to make the dreamform function on its own in the waking world. Dreamhunters in the medical field learned how to do it, but it was impractical for most others.

Emery caught herself staring. “Eyes must be complex as hell,” she said. “Who did them? What for? Did something happen? Were you--I mean--“

“I was born with white sight. It’s rare…people with white sight see the Dream, but not the waking world. Most people who have it don’t live through infancy.”

“I didn’t know they did eye transplants for white sight sufferers.”

“They didn’t, until me.” He smiled a little. “I went from white eyes to black ones. It was your grandpa who made them.”

“Grandpa Al made your eyes?” She’d known Grandpa Al was a great dreamformer, and had been slated to enter the Hypnos State’s medical division instead of their administration, but she’d never imagined him making something as complex as eyes. “No, he didn’t tell me. But--do they see like normal eyes? Do you have X-ray vision or something? Can you see colors no one else can?”

“I think they see like normal eyes. If he’d formed them differently, they may not have worked. I’ve tried to research what went into making them, but at some point it’s not a matter of knowledge, it’s a matter of focus. You have to stay so intent on that one thing. You start thinking about how nice the weather is and suddenly there’s a leaf growing out of your optic nerve. I want to learn how to have that kind of focus someday.”

“Well, you’re already part of the way there. You’re a great dreamformer.”

“Hopefully I don’t lose my mind first.”

Emery snorted. “Same here. Don’t worry, everyone expects me to be stable, so I’m probably actually a giant time bomb. We’ll lose our minds together.”

The poppies swayed. Water lapped at the shore.

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Wes said.

Emery began to close her eyes again when something shimmered on the edge of her vision. Past Wes, halfway up the poppy hill they’d come down, a dream-window pulled itself fully into existence. The inside was dark except for the two big, old oaks framing it in.

Emery jabbed Wes in the arm. “Look!”

Wes gaped. “It’s his.”

They scrambled to their feet. Wes turned in a circle, searching the area. “Is he here? Nearby? He must be--do you think he’s been following us this whole time?”

“Who cares? What if that’s not a window? What if it’s his gateway? Wes, we could get out!”

“I don’t think—” Wes started, but Emery was already running.

This time, when she sprinted for the darkness between the oaks, she didn’t have to pull Wes with her.

#children of hypnos #nightmare hunters #dreams #nightmares #eliza and her monsters #francesca zappia #reading #books #free #free books #wattpad

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pippki-writes · 3 years

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An Ill-Fitting Name: Snippet 16

NOTES:

Snippet 1; Snippets 2 & 3; Snippet 4; Snippet 5; Snippet 6; Snippet 7; Snippet 8; Snippet 9; Snippet 10; Snippet 11; Snippet 12; Snippet 13; Snippet 14; Snippet 15

Word Count: 4.3k

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The first fight comes over where everyone will be staying. If Amos had been in a relationship, he would have joked with his lover on the drive down his predictions over what fights would develop, and when, and who would be involved. He would have tapped the temple of his glasses knowingly and said, “watch me be right.” And she would probably smile, having never met his family, and said, “oh it can’t really be that bad.”

“Bet me,” he would have said, and wagered—but no. Amos is alone, and so there is no one to lighten the mood of all his certainties over the fights that will come.

The first fight, as Amos would have guessed, breaks between Hannah and their mother. As the oldest daughter, Hannah Leary-James is a disappointment of another kind. She is built just like her mother, solid and unyielding. A rental car idles in the driveway, with Hannah’s wife waiting behind the wheel, and Hannah has made bets—ten minutes tops to the first fight. If even. Five minutes more likely—keep the car running.

As Amos unfolds himself from the driver’s seat of his little Toyota, he can hear a muffled slamming from inside the two story home. Hannah’s scratchy, unmistakable shout follows close behind—“I AM NOT STAYING IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE, MOTHER—“ and Hannah bursts out the side door to the driveway, digging in a square purse slung over her shoulder, fumbling with a crumpled pack of cigarettes dredged from the bottom.

Amos can hear, just barely, his mother’s high pitched wail, accusing, “—can’t believe you would do this to me—“ before Ezekiel comes running out after Hannah and spies Amos.

“Amos,” Ezekiel breathes with relief, as if invoking Amos’s name will summon some heretofore unknown saint that will save them, and not the prototype of James family failure that now stands gazing up at him across the driveway. Ezekiel half-heartedly tries to reach after his sister, but she dodges the hand as if she hadn’t even noticed it, as if she was simply trying to shield her entire body around the small point of fire that she’s trying to make jump from the lighter to the cigarette clamped in her mouth.

“How long until she dies?” Hannah asks, snapping her lighter shut and throwing it back in her bag. “Besides never soon enough.”

Ezekiel is a competent, capable physician. His patients always compliment him on how collected he is, how he always seems to know what to do, what to say, how to reassure them no matter what’s happening.

His patients have never seen him around his family.

Ezekiel feels like he’s being told to hold on to too many strings, and every last one is both tangled and trying to escape. Strings? More like snakes, fighting him the entire time, biting their own tails and each other both.

“Hannah,” Ezekiel starts.

Amos ambles up to a safe distance, close enough for conversation but not combat, hands in his pockets.

“Mother’s mad that everyone’s staying at my house,” Ezekiel offers to Amos.

“Clare and I,” Hannah snaps, “are staying at a hotel.”

“Wherever everyone is staying,” Ezekiel says, testily, “it isn’t here with her.”

“Where did she expect to put everyone?” Amos asks. “There’s no room. There was never room.”

“Why would she care about that?” Hannah says, tapping ash on the driveway. “She wants what she wants. Reality can go fuck itself or get in line.”

Ezekiel makes a pleading face to Amos when Hannah looks off. Hannah, fire-breathing tower of unresolved anger, feelings being yanked off the shelves of her mind where she had packed them all away, blows an exasperated stream of smoke away from them. Amos had not been the best brother, but he’d brought Hannah down from some of the worst of her tempers in his time. Usually with a smartass comment. Usually by promising to set her up with some hot cheerleader, which was about as achievable as setting her up with the Queen of fucking England, a hopeless nerd like him.

“Well,” Amos begins slowly, “With any luck, maybe she’ll die before bedtime tonight. Then we wouldn’t have to worry what the hell she wants, hm?”

Hannah finally cracks a smile and nods. “If there’s a god willing,” she mutters, and Ezekiel just groans quietly at them both. Not what he meant. Not what he wanted, not at all.

Hannah tosses the cigarette butt on the asphalt of the driveway and grinds it beneath the heel of a fashionable boot. Hannah is not the littering type, but she’s willing to make an exception for her mother’s driveway.

“We’re going to check in. Call me back once everyone’s here,” she tells Ezekiel, and gets back in the car. Clare puts a hand on Hannah’s shoulder, and a noticeable degree of tension drains from her posture as Clare backs the rental car out of the driveway.

Ezekiel checks his phone. An hour yet before the next arrival.

Amos walks up onto the porch, but turns from the door, leaning against one of the porch columns.

“Aren’t you going in?” Ezekiel asks.

Amos rolls his shoulders. “Is she going to die in the next fifteen minutes?”

Ezekiel shakes his head. Like Amos, his hair would be in curls if he let it, so he gives it even less of an opportunity than Amos does. Amos is mostly joking, but Ezekiel looks so serious, with his close-trimmed hair and button down shirts, his neat beard adding the authority of at least five years beyond what lanky, baby-faced Amos can muster. Ezekiel should have been the oldest, Amos thinks irrationally, as if that would have changed a damned thing.

“Then give me at least the next fifteen minutes.”

Amos sits on the porch steps, elbows slung on his knees as he watches cars drive by. Ezekiel pulls a few weeds from the flower beds around the porch, and then takes Amos’s place leaned against the pillar, brushing the dirt from his hands.

“Where’s dad?” asks Amos, already knowing the answer.

“Church,” Amos says at the same time as Ezekiel.

That was always the answer. Church. More than once, Amos had thought that maybe if Dad loved his children as much as he loved his god…but then. Maybe he didn’t go to church for god at all.

Their father was an elusive man. He had a job to do, to keep them in this house, to keep them fed, he doesn’t have time for your stupid school projects, Amos. God, Amos thinks, he doesn’t even remember what that one had been about. Didn’t matter. Whatever it had been, his father surely never went. And when he wasn’t working, he was at church. What the hell could a man be doing at church for that much time? Did it matter? Amos simply chuckles darkly to himself. Of course his father is at church. Whatever he’s actually doing, Amos realizes, doesn’t matter. He doesn’t care. All that matters is that their father, just like every other moment of their lives, isn’t there.

Fifteen minutes melts into an hour. Amos is in no hurry to go in. The last time he saw his mother, she asked him whatever happened to that nice girl, what was her name? Kristen? Ashley? The one who asked you to prom? Kari, Amos recalls bitterly, she was thinking about Kari, the girl who asked him on a dare, and who stood him up—or, she would have, if Hannah hadn’t got wind of it and warned him. Amos simply stood her up first. But the indignity of the whole thing still annoyed him, all these years later.

“She was pretty. She was too good for you,” his mother had said.

At the time, he said nothing, because at the time, he had thought she was dying. And now here they are again.

The youngest, Leah, is the next to arrive in an oversized rental car over an hour after Hannah and Clare left. She steps out of the rental and smoothly flings a pair of sunglasses back on the dashboard.

Amos will be the first to admit he finds Leah intimidating. She’s always seemed to hold some sort of calculated fondness for her distant siblings that he can’t understand. She’s dressed professionally, a sharp suit, straightened hair perfectly gathered in a low bun, her every movement a picture of economy.

“Mo, Zeke,” she greets them as she walks up. “What are we waiting for? Are we going in?”

Amos stands and stretches. Ezekiel shrugs.

“We can go in if you want—“

“I didn’t,” Amos offers.

“—Hannah’s already come, yelled, and gone to check in to her hotel,” Ezekiel finishes.

“Of course,” Leah says, checking her phone, tapping a quick response before sliding it back in her jacket pocket. “Let’s get my turn out of the way. Only so many times she can yell at me.”

“Cherish the shouting. Maybe you’ll miss it once she’s gone,” Amos says.

Leah gives him a curious look, and heads inside, followed by a sighing Ezekiel.

Amos reluctantly slinks through the front door. Up ahead, the staircase leading to the bedrooms—one for the boys, one for the girls, each room with a twin bed shoved against all the walls but one. A master bedroom they weren’t allowed in for their parents. One bathroom for all six kids, and a master bathroom they were never allowed to use for their parents. The usual allotment of rooms downstairs—livingroom, washroom, half bath, kitchen, breakfast nook, dining room, and what could have been an extra bedroom, but instead served as the office for a man who was never home. An office with cabinets full of diluted whisky—diluted by Amos, Hannah, and Ezekiel in turn, each unaware of the other. Amos wonders, Did Isaiah ever come for the whisky?

Leah strides in with purpose, and finds Mrs. Charlotte James in the kitchen, working on a meal that no one asked her to make.

“Mother,” chides Ezekiel, trying to snatch away a mixing spoon, “you’re supposed to be resting.”

“You’re not my doctor,” snaps Mrs. James, rapping Ezekiel sharply on the knuckles with the spoon. Ezekiel frowns and narrows his eyes. Even if he were her doctor, he’s quite certain she wouldn’t listen to him.

“Leah,” she continues, “I put the sheets out on your bed. There’s towels in the bathroom, and—“

“No, Ma,” Leah interrupts firmly. “I already told you I’m staying at Zeke’s.”

“Why, I’ve already got everything set up for you!”

“You don’t have good enough internet, Ma. I need to work while I’m up here.”

“I’d hardly call that work.”

“Ma,” Leah sighs, reluctantly falling into the same stupid argument she’s been dragged down before, “what about running a real estate business isn’t work, exactly?”

“All you do is sit on that computer all day! And running a business isn't right for a young lady.”

Leah sighs again, and rubs the bridge of her nose. Amos opens his mouth to interject, and Mrs. James jabs the spoon in his face.

“YOU wouldn’t know the first thing about a proper job, so I don’t want to hear a word out of you, Amos. I do all this work for you all—“

“Mother,” Ezekiel tries, “I told you everyone would be staying at my house—“

“And I just wasted all that time! No one staying here?! I guess my time doesn’t matter to any of you.”

“Conference call,” says Leah, waving her phone, “I’d better go take this in the car.” Just because it’s a conference of one, calling her mother a bitch, doesn’t make it any less of a conference call. Leah slips past Ezekiel and Amos back out to her rental.

“And how long have you been here, Amos?” Mrs. James asks skeptically.

“Just got here, basically.”

“The Lord detests lying lips.”

Amos turns to examine a cup of pens sitting on top of the microwave, and hopes she doesn’t see the roll of his eyes.

Ezekiel’s phone buzzes.

“Have you heard from Isaiah?”

Amos and Ezekiel exchange a look.

“No,” says Ezekiel, “but Joanna’s on the way. She’s dropping Edgar and the kids off at my place.”

“I don’t know what she sees in that man.”

This is exactly what she said years ago, more than once, at their wedding. Edgar Espinoza, by all accounts collaborated among the James children, was one of the sweetest men they’d ever met, a doting father, devoted husband, dedicated worker, and definite candidate for sainthood perhaps, given the patience with which he put up with the shit said to and about him by his mother-in-law.

Sweet, sensitive Joanna insisted Edgar and their children stay far away from her mother, or her mother was liable to say something that would incite Joanna to go off the deep end and quite possibly murder her. Edgar didn’t believe his lovely wife capable of such violence, but he kissed her sweetly, and promised if she was sure she’d be ok, then he would wait at Ezekiel’s with the kids.

“You know,” Mrs. James continued, “I don’t even think Protestant weddings count.”

Ezekiel is too distracted texting Hannah to correct her, so it’s Amos’s turn to sigh.

“It wasn’t a Protestant wedding, mother.”

“Oh, I suppose you’re a priest now then?”

“Mother, you were there!”

But Amos knows this argument is pointless and impossible. He quickly cuts her off before she can start her next irrelevant rebuttal.

“Will Dad be having dinner with us?”

“You know he has choir practice late on Tuesdays.”

How the hell would he know…Amos wants nothing more than to simply run back out onto the porch, to forcibly remove himself from the conversation without further preamble, but he’s grown now. He can try to pretend to be civilized. To be the bigger person. He forces out the next question. “Is there anything I can do to help with dinner?”

“No. You know I have to do everything, no one appreciates—“

“Great,” says Amos, and takes his cue to leave.

“Oh! But you can get your crap out of that room of yours upstairs. It’s in my way and I’m tired of it cluttering everything up.”

“Great,” says Amos, spinning from the door to go upstairs instead, back to his old bedroom.

His crap so offensively in the way and cluttering everything up consists of a single tub full of teenaged Amos’s worldly possessions on top of his old bed. What this tub is somehow cluttering is a room now full of secondhand furniture pieces of questionably antique tastes. Spindly chairs, writing desks, odd little carts.

How the hell was she expecting us all to sleep here? Amos wonders, looking at all the junk she’s stored in there. Even without Isaiah, and Ezekiel at his own home, there’s too much stuff crowding the room for even one person to be mentally comfortable. But it’s his box of things that’s somehow in the way. Right.

His hand hovers on the lid. Does he dare open it, and risk a trip down a road of bad memories? Because surely, that’s the flavor of the vast majority of his memories. He pops the lid open anyway—just a peek. On the top he spots a handful of Polaroid pictures and pulls them out, stuffing them in his back pocket. That will be more than enough for memories, to subject himself to later. He snaps the lid of the storage tub shut again, and carries it down to the trunk of his car, grateful for the excuse to get back out of the house.

As he waits for Joanna to arrive and Hannah to return, Amos sits on the porch steps and tries to tune out the sounds of Ezekiel attempting in vain to get his mother to quit making dinner. He hears what he’s guessing is the mixing spoon slam on the countertop, and his mother’s angry voice raised in her usual conversational yell say, “oh, is my cooking not good enough for you?! Is that what they taught you at that school?!”

“Mother I’m trying to get you to take it easy, you’re supposed to be—“

“You’re not Dr. Peterson—“

“But Dr. Peterson said—“

“Get out! Get the hell out of my kitchen, I can’t make a casserole like this! Out! Out!” she yells, the spoon hitting the counter repeatedly for emphasis.

Ezekiel steps out onto the porch, hands clenched in his pockets.

“Why do I bother?” he mutters to himself, barely taking note of Amos.

“Why do you bother?” Amos replies, pulling the stack of Polaroids out of his pocket to flip through.

Amos had had the spark of talent that could have, if nurtured properly, made him into a damn good photographer over the years. The pictures were nicely composed, eye-catching insofar as pictures of anything in this flat, nothingful stretch of mostly suburban-bleeding-into-rural Ohio could be. He’d bought the camera for himself. He had always asked for extra film for Christmas, and never got any. Always got socks instead. Or if he ever unwisely decided to take a picture inside, usually got a derisive “are you still playing with that thing?” hurled in his direction.

So, no. Amos had not become a photographer. He didn’t even know where the camera was. Buried in that tub, if he was lucky. In the landfill more likely.

Ezekiel has no answer for why he bothers. Because he should? It feels like he should. Someone should. The rest of them won’t. So Ezekiel does. Is it appreciated? No. Does it ever feel worthwhile? No. But he does it anyway.

The photos are mostly studies in contrast—geometric patterns against the chaos of organic shapes—and not much in the way of actual people until nearly the end of the stack, and there she is. Lorin. Sitting cross-legged on the ground, painted with the shadows of the bike rack by the mall, gesturing with a can of Red Bull towards the camera. Towards him. Making some long lost point about something that no doubt seemed important at the time.

“What is she doing?” Ezekiel asks, nodding toward Leah. Leah is sitting in her car, arms crossed, eye mask on, air conditioner apparently on blast, if the wild sway of her bangs is any indication.

“Power doors, power windows, power locks, power nap,” Amos replies, shuffling around the stack of pictures. He puts the picture of Lorin on the top of the stack, then thinks better and puts it on the bottom, to protect it.

“Doesn’t look like a conference call.”

“Sure doesn’t.”

Hannah returns before Joanna gets there, this time alone in the vehicle. She swears to herself as she approaches the porch.

“Where’s Joanna?” Hannah asks, looking around. “I told you to call me back once everyone was here.”

“Joanna’s on the way,” Ezekiel says. “My house isn’t far.”

Hannah rolls her eyes, but a rented minivan pulling carefully into the driveway renders irrelevant further discussion on whether her being summoned was premature.

When was the last time they had all been in the same place? The wedding, Joanna thinks, getting out of the minivan and locking it behind her. Beautiful wedding. Perfect husband. Horrible mother. Her maid of honor had almost shoved a bouquet of sunflowers down her mother’s throat. Joanna had almost let her.

The soft beep of the lock is enough to wake Leah up, and she smooths her hair quickly in the rear view mirror before sliding back out of the car. She follows behind Joanna’s gently swaying skirt, back up the driveway.

“Now we art all here,” Hannah mutters to Amos as Joanna and Leah walk up.

“We must recount the Deeds of the Day,” he finishes. Of the James family children, Amos and Hannah rank highest in a shared sense of blasphemy kindled around a worn copy of Good Omens, whose demon dared to ask divinity questions they didn’t even realize could be asked. A copy originally given to Amos by none other than Lorin. Amos fidgets with the stack of Polaroids in his hands.

“We’re eating here tonight,” says Ezekiel to the group, “mother insisted on making dinner.”

“Did anyone ask her to?” Joanna asks.

“Of course not,” says Hannah.

Leah looks at the door curiously. “Is it going to kill her to make dinner?”

“If only,” Amos mutters.

And then there it is, the sharp familiar tongue of their mother, cutting the air like lightning—“IS ANYONE GOING TO COME IN HERE AND HELP ME, OR DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING ALL ON MY OWN?”

Five familiar reactions occur at once. Amos jumps, all nervous energy, spilling the Polaroids on the ground and swearing as he gathers them again. Ezekiel flinches only a little, drawing up another bucket of patience from a well that’s in perpetual danger of running dry. Hannah’s face darkens, her expression like a battlement ready for siege warfare, obscenities at the ready to rain on her attacker. Joanna winces, looking guilty. Leah’s eyes narrow towards the door, but her expression remains neutral.

Ezekiel and Joanna are the first to hurry in, followed by Leah. Amos shoves the stack of pictures back in his pocket before heading inside, and Hannah, with a deep sigh, is the last to go in.

Isaiah shifts into first gear as he turns onto a road he hasn’t seen in ages. A road he had no intention of ever seeing again. The driveway is crowded with vehicles as he creeps his truck by, with his mother’s stupid old Buick LeSabre nestled closest to the house, and Isaiah sinks in his seat, continuing on. What is he doing here? This is insane. He pulls over down the road and parks. He can’t do this. He can’t possibly do this. He gets out and stands next to the truck, looking back down the street.

He doesn’t have to do this. He’ll just look in first, he decides. Maybe she’s dead. Maybe they’re having a wake. Wouldn’t that be nice.

Isaiah walks—simply walks, no slipping through the shadows this time—back to the two stories of hell he thought he’d left behind. He notes the vehicles arranged over every available bit of asphalt, spilling into the grass: three rental cars, an old Toyota with expired tags that looks a lot like his oldest brother’s car, and some sleek looking Lexus with Ohio tags next to his mother’s car. His father’s? He could have sworn his father only ever drove a Chrysler several decades past its prime. Maybe he changed. Maybe he died. Who knows. Who cares.

Isaiah is careful to keep out of sight of the windows, and glances around the street. No one is out, but a little magic couldn’t hurt. A simple concentration spell to keep himself from being seen, and then he approaches the house. He can already hear the raised voices from inside.

A flicker of movement catches his eye, and he stamps his foot down on a lost Polaroid before it can continue across the lawn. He picks it up and studies the girl in the picture, shadows like prison bars across her legs, energy drink in hand. She looks familiar, Isaiah thinks, not just school acquaintance familiar, and tries to imagine where he might have seen her.

Screaming. Crying. A welcome distraction. Killed quickly, as a mercy. Oh.

He looks up and down the street, as if it could have come from anywhere but the house in front of him. But no. Of course. Someone in his family had to have known her. He quietly walks up to the door and tucks the picture between the door and the frame.

“HE’S NOT DEAD!” Isaiah hears his mother scream, and the sound of fists slamming on the table. “STOP SAYING HE’S DEAD!”

Isaiah moves slowly to look in the dining room window. The seat closest to the window, at the head of the table, sits empty. To the left of the empty seat, looking impassive, he’s guessing that’s Leah now, sharp and professional. Across from her, must be Joanna in her plain shirt, softened face, looking guiltily into her plate. An empty seat in the middle, next to Leah. Hannah, unmistakable, next to Joanna and already snapping back, “he’s fucking DEAD.” Next to Hannah, looking tired, pushing his glasses up his forehead as he rubs his eyes and says “it’s been how many years?” must be Amos. Across from Amos, hair slightly darker and with a rather impressive beard, saying “stop, stop, can we just eat?” can only be Ezekiel.

And there, across from him at the other end of the table, facing the window, was his mother. Charlotte James. Faded blond hair in limp and frazzled curls. Nowhere near as beautiful as she once had been, not because she’s older, but because there’s an edge of sickliness to her appearance, the tint of her skin, the not-so-whites of her eyes. Her Cupid’s bow lips are puckered in anger, and she is not letting the conversation go.

“That little shit Isaiah—“

“Mother!”

“—is too much of a coward to be dead,” Mrs. James continues darkly. “That would have been dignified! We could have buried him and mourned him, but no! He ran away, and God only knows what sins that horrible little pervert has been committing since.”

It’s like he never left. It’s like he’s fourteen all over again, anger flashing in the pit of his stomach, squeezing at his own throat.

Everyone else at the table is busy looking at Mrs. James in that moment, rebuttals gathered on the tips of tongues, and so Isaiah lets the concealing spell drop. He makes eye contact with her, and she screams, pointing at the window. But by the time anyone else looks, Isaiah has already slipped off into the shadows.

- NEXT SNIPPET -

#an ill-fitting name #My writing #original story #original work #original writing #original fiction #magic fiction #magic murderer #snippets #fictional murderer #difficult family fiction

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blackbagvioletjacket3-blog · 6 years

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Light

I have a revelation that I realized today. I have this plant which I bought a long time ago, and it’s still alive in our living room. It kind of swift it’s position to the left side, like it’s growing side-ways, we all know that plants do this because they want to go into the direction of the sunlight. It’s where they get their sustenance to be alive. I believe, we as a human being are also the same. We are drawn to anything that promises “light”. That’s why I was drawn to the new-age before because it promises light or in their vocab, the so sought-after by people who follow the teachings of the new-age, the term “enlightenment”. I was following some of the teachings of Eckhart Tolle, and other so called enlightened human beings. They say that if you attain enlightenment, you will feel peace regardless of what’s happening around you or in you. It obviously is a teaching of Buddhism. So, in my case, it was actually for the better that I learned those kind of stuffs so that I can distinguish them from afar. I praise God that He lead me to the true light, which is to have a real relationship with Jesus. The true light. Because there are also churches around that injecting new-age teachings and because people haven't exposed yet to this teachings, they thought it’s the real light, so they follow, they don't know they are following doctrines of demons. But in order to attain it, you have to do certain things like to avoid certain activities and follow strict diet. In my case, I was determined to be a vegetarian. I tried, I think for three years, I tried to eat only chicken, because I really want to become a vegetarian. We also have to do some meditation and yoga, all these are just a preparation actually in opening ourselves up to demonic influences. I just don't know. But in the middle of all these confusion, I still talked to God, since I’m not sure who God really is, He knows I want to seek Him, so I still talked to Him, not in a catholic way, by worshipping to man-made idols, because I have Christian friends growing up so the idea of talking to in-animate objects doesn't really appeal to me that much anymore. Also, I think I can feel God whenever I go to nature. There I talk to Him , there I know, I am communing with the one who made nature, there I’m sure that I’m talking to the real One. By nature. All I know that time was He was responding to me too. By circumstances. It’s hard to explain our connection but I knew it was God. after everything I’ve been through, He was there, guiding me. I believe I was seduced by spirits to follow the wrong light because I promised God to read the whole Bible before. Good thing He never let go of my hand, He knew my intentions are good.

Anyway. I really did not expect for this blog to be this long though. The truth that people are seeking is the Bible, the word of God. Jesus is the word and unless they come into this realization, they will live their lives seeking fulfillment in other wrong places including doctrines of demons. But they can never find inner peace and light of heart because it’s not real.

i was looking for the light, but that was obviously the wrong one, the dangerous one of course because I was looking into how to astral project already, and that is a very dangerous thing to do because other spiritual demonic forces could really do harm if you do that.

In John 8:12, Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

It’s true in my life, for when I encounter the presence of God in my life, the truth that God is the God of the Bible, whatever is happening around me, I feel at peace that I’m going to get through this if I stay in the real light.

-First Peter 2:9 “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.”

I was in darkness for a very long time, I already forgot how to live life with a light heart, just full of burdens, disappointments, but just thinking that God chased me and and wants to have a fellowship with someone like me, is just mind-blowing.

-In Matthew 4:16, the people living in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.”

This is my life, I knew it was the real light because I’ve been in darkness, the presence of God impacted me, affected me, my life and my surroundings, so I just can’t dismiss it immediately like that.

-In Matthew 5:14-16 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

-I can sense that I am affecting people around me, the people who has wrong spirits in them hated me more, but it’s all right because as long as I have Jesus on my side, I’m going to be okay. Not all people who goes to a Christian church has the right heart. Some of them are using being a Christian to look at other people haughtily though. So we have to be careful.

Philippians 2:14-16 “Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.”

-This path is not for the weak, it’s for people who is willing to do the will of God regardless of what other people will think, people will throw judgements on you, people will mock you or laugh at you, but we have to be strong in following God’s will, and trust God that He will hold your hand through all of this, for living this life is living in wilderness.

-Isaiah 49:6 “It is too small a thing for you to be my servant to restore the tribes of Jacob and bring back those of Israel I have kept. I will also make you a light for the Gentiles, that my salvation may reach to the ends of the earth.”

-We are called to be the light of this world, so we don't need to hide what we believe. I admit, I still struggle with this but I’m getting there.

First Thessalonians 5:5 “For you are all children of light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness.”

-Just proving a point once again.

So, I believe, we all need the true light, which is Christ Jesus, who died for us.

In Romans 5:8, But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Also, God will fight for you, so that you can have your rest. He did it or me, I hope He can do it for people who wish to seek Him with all their heart.

So if people are to ask me if I have a prayer request, i would say nothing, lol, except for a few cash would be nice, but really, the only thing that I want to accomplish is the work that God wants me to accomplish, because what’s the point of living if not for God? All is vain in this world. Lol!

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