#have i mentioned that im in love with ryland
Text
Y'all I've always thought it was hilarious what Anet did to warbands.
So. you have Rytlock, who in Edge of Destiny said he had "about a dozen" brothers and sisters each. so including himself, that's 25 in a warband. The wiki says a warband is 6-25 members, so Rytlock was on the high end, and average would probably be 12-18 members.
and then every warband in the game proceeds to have BARELY 6.
you have 5 options to choose from for a sparring partner. Rox's old warband had 6 members (or maybe 7). We've still never met more than one of Rytlock's 'bandmates. Almorra gets one 'bandmate mentioned by name.
most charr in the entire game, including top-ranking tribunes and imperators, are not with their warbands, do not talk about their warbands, do not go places with their warbands. Tribune Bhuer Goreblade shows up with a small handful of 'bandmates in the charr level 10 story.
You do not see groups of 12-18 charr warbands roaming around Ascalon with fascinating life stories and 'bandmate dynamics and mourning the latest one(s) who died, with mementos, with stories about how 'my sparring partner saved my life' and 'this member of the warband whom I know least of all my bandmates would die for me and they proved it last week' and 'Im unhappy with bandmate X but I would kill for them' or 'bandmates Y and Z obviously love each other. wanna join the betting pool?' and the legionnaire who confides in you about their tough decisions of who they're picking to be their second/replacement. All within the same warband.
Not even one warband like this. Much less the multiple that charr culture deserves.
Even in IBS, the, at least half-way, charr-centric story, our main focus warband is Ryland's Steel warband. Who has, predictably, 6 members. And like 10 fresh-faced, unnamed recruits who have 0 history or dynamic with the Main Cast. even the 6 named members, who have vibes and character and a bit of a dynamic, are stupid shallow. (and tbf they didn't have time to explore it much, but really?)
We do not see Bangar's 'bandmates. We do not see Rytlock's 'bandmates. We do not hear anything about Almorra's old 'bandmates. We do not see Ember Doomforge's 'bandmates. We do not see Smodur's 'bandmates. We do not see Malice's 'bandmates. We do not see Efram's 'bandmates.
We see a lot of 'cubs this' (with Rytlock and with Efram), I heard a lot of speculation about 'cubs that' in fandom spaces, we see a lot of 'ohoho relationship/mating drama' (from Rytlock/Crecia and also Almorra/Bangar). We do NOT see ANYTHING about warbands, supposedly the building-blocks of charr society.
Even the charr player's old warband is mostly disbanded/defected to Dominion.
I have yet to see any real warband dynamics in canon.
Even in the books! Rytlock's 24 'bandmates are fair game because they're offscreen. And Anet has consistently refused to show any of them. Even Rytlock's dynamic with Crecia is pretty much just "we're old exes" and never "we grew up together. we fought together. our bonds are deeper than those of biology, than the fact we have a cub. I stabbed you once and you knew I didn't mean it because we are 'bandmates." Sure, Crecia mentions once "ohoho we used to see the ice elementals here as cubs."
But in the books! Sea of Sorrows for instance! iirc the majority of Sykax's warband is unnamed! Ember Doomforge, again, no mentions of warband! Rytlock nor Malice nor Almorra talk about inter-warband relations!
we never see any warbands larger than 6 members.
And this is all because, OBVIOUSLY, who wants to come up with 12-18 whole characters when it's just the one who's relevant to the story? Coming up with 6 is hard enough it only happens in special occasions. which doesn't include the legit actual player character.
(the player character, whose warband is decimated to TWO flaming members (including yourself!!) in the tutorial, and! yay! fun lorebuilding! you get to rebuild the warband. this adds a flaming total of TWO members. now you're at flaming four. FLAMING FANTASTIC. the player-flaming-character gets FOUR 'bandmates. this is atrocious!! and tbf if you compile all the options across all the branches you might end up in the (low end, probably) of 12-18. which is fair!)
but like. I do sympathize. I really do. characters are hard. names especially! which would be the bare minimum yknow. have an 18-member warband with zero dialogue but! they do have names! that wander around Ascalon. not even an event chain just average-sized warband representation PLEASE.
like. I did it myself. I invented a warband and I BARELY got them to 6 members. I had name, gender, profession for each of them. they were minor characters so they didn't even get the development that Ryland's Steel got. names, professions and the vibes from that. I felt so bad for only giving them 6 bc I was reinforcing the stereotype!!
but, so, uhhhh
I have been handed an OC. from a friend. who has given me full creative license to write abt them in my story.
I gave him 23 'bandmates. They all have names and genders. They're split up into who is whose sparring partner and who bunks with whom. That is all.
I also get VibesTM from each member's name. I'm slowly building relationship maps. (mostly just. from character A's PoV, ranking who they are closest with. Then doing it from Character B's PoV. it's WILDLY fascinating.) I have three charr 'bandmates who have their own little niche, they three are besties, they're each other's sparring partners and bunkmates and everybody (main relevant characters at least) knows them as 'those three'. and I know their names. none of the characters I'm writing about know them very well (relative to the rest of the warband ofc. ofc each one would DIE for them and probably knows their struggles and combat strengths and weak points and so on. but I haven't invented any of those yet) and that's all. I don't have a single bit of info about them except that and the vibes of each name. but hey!!!! WARBAND DYNAMICS MY BELOVED!?!!
#charr#warband#ascalon#gw2 charr#gw2#rytlock brimstone#bangar ruinbringer#almorra soulkeeper#malice swordshadow#bhuer goreblade#ryland steelcatcher#steel warband#rox#crecia stoneglow#efram#I don't remember that guy's last name and I'm about to head to bed sorry
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
Middle Fingers
why hello there. this is intense.
introducing Miah :D! and Ryland, two of my new ocs. they exist in the same universe as cathal and clement and the rest of them, and ryland is... the worst. the Worst!
word count: 2,768
TWs: PARTIAL AMPUTATION/APPENDAGE AMPUTATION, fingore/finger whump, "do it yourself" in regards to torture (whumpee doesnt do it but thinks they'll have to) gagging/emeto (v-miting up nothing), pet whump, dehumanization, mentions of being kept in a facility, kept in the basement, once again i can not tw this for small amputation enough, miahs poor fingers, use of knives & uh. idk. shears. if i missed anything please lmk and i will add it :-)!
little preface: miah uses they/them pronouns, and ryland uses he/they, which are used interchangeably in this fic. im realy sorry if this gets confusing because of that, i tried to mitigate that as much as possible but it is a little difficult.
leeess go
~~~
If you walked past his house on the street, past the perfect white fence, you wouldn't notice.
Miah knew, though. Inside, hidden away in the basement. They knew.
There was a knock at the top of the stairs, informing them that their captor was soon to be descending into the room to hurt them once again. They shivered.
Somehow, they really had been led to believe that this would be better. That being purchased by somebody was going to be better than wasting away in that wretched facility, listening to other people scream and beg for mercy that they had long since learned would never come.
They thought they were being saved, really. Thought that there would be a chance they could just do well enough, and be treated like, they didn't know, maybe like a friendly housecat? The word pet certainly didn't elicit this image.
Ryland took their time coming down the stairs, Miah's dread increasing with every step they took.
"Ohhh puppy," He called brightly, but their stomach twisted with fear. "Where are you hiding this time love? I'm not here to hurt you."
Miah stayed silent, not wanting to expose their position, hidden away in a closet they hoped Ryland wouldn't notice had been unlocked.
But he found them, - he always found them - and Miah was dragged kicking and screaming out of the closet, as if fighting back had ever made even a fraction of a difference. Ryland simply shushed them, they had grown weak enough in the facility that they had never managed to really do much damage, and it was cute to see them weakly try to shove him away.
They threw Miah to the basement floor, the poor pet's head connecting hard with the basement floor.
"You really are such a brat," Ryland commented, shooting them a look as he stood above. "Such a hassle. Maybe I should send you back for extra training, really beat it into you how much I own you."
Miah groaned. Their head hurt, they always hurt somewhere now, and they just wanted to go home. They raised their head, and one hand to flip Ryland off with a half dazed grin, before letting themself fall back onto the cement.
"Do that again." Ryland seethed. "I dare you."
Maybe it was the delirium, maybe it was that they had hit their head, maybe it was sheer stupidity. But they did it, this time triumphantly raising both hands to show their hatred.
Ryland was on them in an instant. They were dragged to their feet, his hand in their hair while he spat curses of how rotten they were, how stupid and disobedient. Ryland knocked Miah's head against the wall and Miah cried out, hands shooting up to desperately protect themself.
They were thrown to the floor again, and Ryland picked up a chain and lock that connected to the wall in order to prevent them hiding again. The lock clicked into place, and weighed heavily around Miah's throat, a sickening reminder of who they belonged to.
Miah sat on the floor, pouting pitifully enough that Ryland couldn't help but laugh.
"I don't know what you were expecting, love." They smiled down at their pet. "I thought even you would be smart enough to understand sarcasm."
Miah glared at him. They seemed to think it over for a moment, before raising their hand in one final obscene gesture, a satisfied smile on their face.
Ryland snapped. He grabbed Miah by the hair again, pulling their head up and kicking them repeatedly in the stomach. Miah cried and moaned with every kick, the impact knocking the wind out of them again, and again, and again.
"Put your hand down." Ryland ordered, letting Miah's head fall and pointing at a wooden box beside them. Miah, frightened, obeyed and placed their hand on the surface. Ryland put a knife next to them and stepped out of their reach with a grin.
"Alright puppy!" They smiled, such a stark contrast from his attitude just seconds prior that Miah's stomach began to turn with fear. "Here's what's going to happen. Since you can't keep those to yourself, I want to watch you remove them."
Miah froze. "WHAT?"
"Oh, you can still speak." Ryland continued calmly. "You heard me! Bad puppies don't get to keep their toys."
"That's not a toy!" Miah shouted. "That's my fucking hand!"
Ryland laughed. "Oh, no. Silly. Not the whole hand. Just those pesky middle fingers!"
"That's still not a toy, you fucking madman!" Miah waved the knife around, and Ryland knew that he had made the right choice stepping away. Had they been any closer, Miah would have attacked them. He could see it in their eyes.
"Well, you really only have two choices here, love." Ryland stated, still just as infuriatingly calm. "You can be a good pet, and obey me, or you can stay down here and starve to death. Your choice, sweet thing."
Miah stared at them like their entire world was ending. It was, honestly. Or already had. But Ryland wouldn't… they wouldn't give them that kind of ultimatum, right? Not really?
They looked at their hand. Nothing he had ever done would suggest that Ryland fucking Vale was the kind of person to make those threats lightly. Nor did their demeanor, the way he stared down at them like it was nothing.
"J-j-just, just one of them, r-right?" They asked fearfully.
"Did you use just one of them, love?" Ryland replied. "No. You can't really expect me to let you off that easy when you were so disrespectful to me, can you baby?"
Miah shuddered. "N-no… no sir…" They stared at their hand in horror, too terrified to move. Ryland sighed, exasperated as if they had anything to be upset about. Miah wanted to kill him, and they swore they would some day.
“Come on, pet.” Ryland ordered, crossing his arms. Miah let out a desperate sob, tears beginning to fall. “Aww, poor baby,” Ryland teased. “Do as you’re told. Now.”
Miah shook their head, chest heaving as they cried. “N-no, please, please don’t, don’t m-make me, I, I, I can’t, I can’t, please, no, please sir…” They threw the knife out of their reach, sending it skidding across the floor and almost into Ryland’s foot, had they not been clever enough to dodge.
Ryland sighed again. He knelt down to pick up the knife, inspecting the blade closely for any imperfections or nicks in the metal. “You’re lucky you didn’t damage this stupid,” They snapped. “I would have had to kill you with it.”
Miah’s breath caught in their throat. Ryland grinned, leaning in close.
“Fine,” He sighed, putting on a facade of great sympathy. “I won’t make you.” They crouched down in front of Miah, who sniffled pathetically as tears continued to run down their cheeks. They weren’t easy to make cry, this was certainly a win. Ryland traced their jaw with the blade of the knife, which was a large thing with serrations running down the bottom half. Miah whimpered.
Suddenly, and with no change in their demeanor, Ryland was grabbing Miah by the wrist, squeezing tight and slamming their hand palm-up onto the wooden box. Miah screamed, their eyes darting up to meet Ryland’s, and their heart pounded in their ears as they saw the sickening grin that had overtaken his face. Ryland curled three of their fingers inward, holding them down and keeping the middle finger exposed. Miah thrashed and kicked, crying desperately for him to stop.
They didn’t even register the feeling of the blade touching their skin until they were screaming in pain, and the crunch of bone filled their ears. Miah went silent as soon as they truly realized what had happened.
Everything inside of them told them not to look. Every instinct they had, every single fucking part of them was against it. They didn’t want to see.
Still, they looked.
They had to turn away to avoid vomiting on themself as soon as they saw it, heaving up nothing but gagging nonetheless. The blood, oh the blood, and their hand. Even worse, the finger itself. Laying on that wooden box even as they clutched their hand in agony, in a pool of blood. Their blood. Their finger. Their finger! Their head spun.
From the sound of it, Ryland thought their reaction to be hysterical; their dark, sadistic chuckle echoing off the walls and into Miah’s psyche.
Ryland turned to dig through one of the large metal drawers lining the wall. Miah supposed it was their workspace, however terrifying a thought that was. It resembled what one would assume a carpenter would use for a workspace, and that terrified them even more. What kind of things would Ryland Vale need a hacksaw for?
If they weren’t terrified before, they were when Ryland turned around.
He held a pair of sturdy looking garden shears, green handles and sharp blades that reflected just a bit too much light to be something Ryland used casually. Miah could just imagine it, him sitting and sharpening them, polishing the blades to be just as terrifying to every new victim.
The fear in their eyes made Ryland laugh. They had never looked at them with eyes quite that wide, nor cried quite this hard. Not once, in their months of captivity, had they looked this deeply, truly, terrified.
“Oh love, don’t look so betrayed. I told you it would be both, so both it’s going to be. I’m not a liar, and I’ve already let you off easier than I said I would.” Ryland explained. “You should have been good for me from the start! You know I only hurt you when you disobey me. You’ve brought this on yourself.”
Miah’s lip trembled with fear. What a fat fucking lie that was, only hurt you when you disobey. They could list several examples of that being false from the past two days alone.
“No, please… no no no no no no no…” They whined. Ryland pouted at them in mock sympathy, and they felt so small. No one was even there to prevent this. They looked at him with tearful eyes, as he took their hand in his own, bringing it close to his face. Ryland pressed a kiss to the base of their palm, and then on the tip of every finger, stopping for a moment to graze the middle finger with their teeth. They savoured the fear in Miah’s eyes as they did, gripping their wrist tightly.
Miah watched helplessly as they positioned his shears, and, their other hand pulsing with pain, as the blades closed together with a snap.
Their finger was severed in an instant. Ryland closed the shears with as much force as they could, and the bloody digit fell to the cold concrete floor. Miah’s mouth fell open in a gasp, their eyes unfocused and their mind blank of anything but fear. They were grateful for their tears, obscuring their vision enough that they couldn’t make out Ryland’s expression as he picked it up to examine.
“There,” he said matter-of-factly. “Now there will be no more obscene gestures. You’ve learned your lesson, haven't you?”
Miah nodded dully. Ryland patted their cheek in a condescending manner, still much more focused on the severed finger than the poor person it had come from. They stared at it for a few minutes, eventually picking up the other as well. Soon he began to pace around the basement, letting Miah sit there and bleed with a childish glee that made their stomach turn. Only when they groaned in pain, looking up at Ryland with their face as pale as a sheet did he remember that they still needed his attention.
Ryland paused. “I suppose you could use some help…” They nudged Miah with his foot, and Miah whined quietly, falling to the floor with no energy left to hold themself up.
“Hm..” Ryland took off up the stairs, taking the severed fingers with him. Miah watched them wearily, struggling to keep their eyes open. Were they dying? Were they really going to bleed out on the cold floor of the basement of some twisted bastard who cared more about their now removed appendages than their life? Honestly, that didn’t sound too bad compared to what they just went through. They started to cry again, although now they didn’t have the energy for it.
Their whole body shook as they wept, unable to even wipe their tears with their hands covered in blood. They wanted to go home. They wanted their brothers, their mom, they wanted their cat and they had never felt so helpless in their entire life. It tore them apart. Their head hurt, and their hands hurt worse.
The door opened again and Ryland came hurrying down the stairs, carrying what looked to be a first aid kit. Miah found it strange that they wouldn’t keep that where they torture people, but learning the intricacies of a sadistic fucking monster’s mind was not high on their priorities. They whimpered when he came closer, and Ryland hushed them. He pulled them onto their knees, and then close to his chest with a hand on the back of their throat. They kissed Miah on the top of the head, and Miah whimpered again.
“Oh, precious pet,” Ryland hummed. “You wouldn’t have to go through this if you were just good for me, you know? Doesn’t it sound nicer to be good, love? I would be so kind to you, you could leave the basement, and sleep in a real bed again, and eat. Don’t you want to be good?”
Miah practically fell over themself to agree, nodding their head desperately and whining sweetly. Ryland took one of their hands in his own, tracing their palm with his finger. “See,” They continued, unzipping the first aid kit with his other hand. “You know how to be good, Miah. You even know you want to be.”
He pressed the start of a roll of gauze into their palm, and they whined. “You just forget it,” They wrapped the roll around Miah’s hand twice to anchor it down, before beginning to cover the wound. “Because you don’t want to admit that you’re better off as a pet than a person. Because you’re a stupid little thing, and you’re desperate to deny it.”
The gauze went up, and around, and around again. It covered the horrifying little nub where Miah’s finger used to be, down to their wrist to keep it from moving. Again, and again it wrapped around, and they supposed they were meant to be grateful for Ryland’s help. He kissed the base of their palm again as he finished, looking them dead in the eyes.
“I’m sorry.” Miah whimpered.
“I know you are, love. And you won’t forget it either. You’ll be my good pet for a while now, hm?” Ryland responded with a grin, although Miah couldn’t see it with their face pressed into his chest.
“Yes sir…”
“I’m sorry?” He asked, a hint of a threat in their voice.
“Y-yes… master…” They buried their face further in his shirt, whining.
“Good pet!” Ryland praised, cheerful. “You’ll get there eventually, love. Don’t worry.”
They secured the gauze with some elastic tape that went around Miah’s hand in the same pattern as the wrapping. Miah cried quietly as Ryland switched to their other hand, wrapping it in the same way. They sniffled every time either of their hands moved, every little shift sending pain pulsing through their whole arm. They felt like such a baby.
Ryland kissed their hand like he had done with the first, before securing it with tape as well. Miah leaned back and stared at their hands, their expression unreadable aside from the horror and exhaustion so evident on their features.
It didn’t feel real, even as they looked directly at their hands, at the gap between their pointer and ring fingers. It couldn’t be real, it couldn’t. They bit down on their cheek, and tasted blood.
Very real.
They continued weeping, and Ryland watched with a sick half-grin painting their face. Miah was going to be good for him whether they liked it or not, and Ryland suspected that they would never be one to like it.
But that was fine. They were going to break. They would obey eventually, and they would soon realize that it was either obedience, or death. Most pets were rather desperate to avoid the latter, and Miah would be no exception.
And they were going to break beautifully.
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
2022.. well its been a while
im writing this for me but i dont care who sees it
looking back on the memories, the deep thoughts and broken quotes i posted a decade ago, brings back so much
i started this in July 2010, before life got really hard, the only thing that really sucked at this point was me and Josh didnt really know wtf we were up to in an on and off again relationship and Dion wasnt talking to me because i was a threat to his gf at the time *insert dramatic eye roll here*
man alot has happened and i sit here today feeling broken like its been too much and i want to cry alot, hoping that the new antidepressants start doing a better job soon...
so here goes
3rd of October 2010.. the thing that started it off was my mum dying from a brain aneurysm, this really put the cracks in our lives.. all of us
2011.. January Dion reached out and i didnt really know how to react, i wish i knew then what i know now and wish i could have helped him stay but...ill mention that soon.
my 21st came in May & the following week after years of pushing him away me and Ian started "dating"..
come august my friend Jono commited suicide, i was working when i got the news and it shocked me because his 21st was 2 weeks away and now he was dead
september broke me, Dion commited suicide, and my world came crashing down, now i know that we were never going to be anything more than friends, but leaving broke my heart, i still struggle to get my head around the fact that someone i loved with my whole soul no longer lived in a body, 4 hours away from me. he was gone and i never got to say good bye..
and a year had passed for mum
we went to RnV for new years that was fun minus the food poisoning
Happy New Year welcome in 2012
Things seemed ok for the most part, i struggled with work and the loss i had endured.... next enter the antidepressants please...
Ash & Andrea Get Married
i then had female inside problems which made me stop taking them and my pill, i joked about wanting to quit and could we just have a baby so i didnt have to work..
well enter November 2012.. those 2 lines popped up and i was indeed pregnant .. Ian was being made redundant and that made things tough but we got there..
another year for mum & D
and another new years in Gisborne at RnV, this time very sober being 12 weeks pregnant
HAPPY NEW YEAR - Welcome 2013
we then all went on a mission to Hastings for a day at splash planet with my cousins - epic day
we had a boy Ryland in july of 2013
again 2013 , wasnt a big deal alot of 1sts for us as a new family
another year for mum & D
new years was at Onemana spent with Marshall family
HAPPY NEW YEAR - Welcome 2014
Rylands first birthday, Dads 50th & Stephens 21st were a few reasons to celebrate
we also brought out 1st home together
& found out we were expecting another wee human in May 2015
another year for mum & D
New Years at home this time <3
HAPPY NEW YEAR - Welcome 2015
2015 saw the birth of our wee girl Amitee
again alot of learning as new parents of 2
Happy 2nd Birthday Ry
not alot happened that was life changing
another year for mum & D
HAPPY NEW YEAR - Welcome 2016
my memory blurs alot of things that arent really relevent but im trying to remember the years
Happy 1st Birthday Ammy
YAY we are engaged!
Happy 3rd Birthday Ry
another year for mum & D
New years at Onemana
HAPPY NEW YEAR - Welcome 2017
Happy 2nd Birthday Ammy
Happy 4th Birthday Ry
Ian & I Married on the 1st October - 7 years to the day from when mum asked him when he was going to marry me <3
another year for mum & D
Started having New Years at Home with our friends
HAPPY NEW YEAR - welcome 2018
again not alot happened...
Ryan & Emma Get Married
Happy 3rd Birthday Ammy
Happy 5th Birthday Ry
our wee boy started school ! how crazy to think 5 years had passed since we became parents!
Liss found out she was pregnant at the end of the year which was exciting
another year for mum & D
New Years at Home
HAPPY NEW YEAR - Welcome 2019
went to Tirohanga for Keren & kendals wedding
WELL whoopsie we found out we were expecting baby #3!
poor liss lost her baby and that was such a shock for our girl
Happy 4th Birthday Ammy
Happy 6th Birthday Ry
& Aunty Leonie found out she had Liver Cancer
another year for mum & D
OCTOBER. 2019 - Welcome to our crazy world Effie
December 2019.. the start of the covid 19 pandemic...
HAPPY NEW YEAR .. Welcome 2020
Tirohanga again this year - this becomes out yearly camping trip before the kids are back at school
APRIL 2020 we went into lock down for like 6 weeks, we had to wear masks we could only go out for groceries , people around the world were dying
MAY 2020 - My aunty Claire passes away from her brain tumor, this was bloody hard, no funeral due to lock downs
Happy 5th birthday Ammy - you'll have to wait a few weeks to start school
one out of daycare and one in Effie
Happy 7th Birthday Ryland
the year was very hard lock downs and panic shopping
Grandma Found out she Also had liver cancer
another year for mum & D
Happy 1st Birthday Effie
we got to have a family xmas with aunty lisa being here which was sad and special
Happy New Year - Welcome 2021
Fuck me, here comes more shit - Hello More antidepressants
Uncle Bob found out he had Pancreatic Cancer - hes ok and in remission they caught it early
Leonie Passed away start of Jan and then 2 weeks later so did grandma
we managed through for a little bit , then Shit hit the fan and Uncle doug found out he had secondary liver cancer,... primarily in his pancreas.. he was given 7 months
we took the kids on their first trip to Gisborne, caught up with Emma & ryan before they left to Cambodia for a year, leaving Gisborne was hard this time.. thinking we would maybe never be back never see dougs family home that was a home to all of us...
another year for mum & D
Happy New Year - Welcome 2022
well here we are almost up to date
Another fun camping trip in tirohanga for Auckland anniversary
Then a 10 day family holiday to Christchurch with the kids for James 21st
In March Uncle Doug came to Matamata and spent 3 weeks with Dad, They went on a fishing trip together & had an amazing time
April dad and ian made and office for me for all my buisness stuff, easter weekend he cut his fingers opene with a skill saw and had to have surgery
hes still going through rehab on his hand and here comes may
aunty claires anniversary we found out dougs chemo was no longer working, the boys rangled to get home , stu coming from aussie and ryan and emma from cambodia..
they were all home by the 8th may
my mental health has been pretty bad now, and im not on new antidepressants
on the evening on Ammys 7th birthday, May 13th at 6:45pm uncle doug left this world to be with the rest of our loved ones..
and to say we are broken once more is an understatement
heading back to gizzy, to realise that we are now the adults its just Dad and Aunty Lizzy left
being there and leaving makes me want to cry .. its brought up so many memories i had of visiting their house, i even had my first kiss in their damn house.. & the first time i met Dion haha ill never forget my 14 year old self trying to act cool when this beautiful tall 16 year old friend of ashleys walked in, that i hadnt yet met.. and then when they left grilling ash for the details and him telling Dion i thought he was hot haha ..but so then all my memories with him flooded in, the times id come to gizzy and text him i was there, he would pick me up and hang, the first time i kissed him, just i had alot of love for him & even though im married and have a different life that i love with my whole life, my heart still aches for his Loss, and now losing Doug & the house being up for sale, the goodbyes, its bloody hard now , 31 year old me is sad and i know its ok to be sad, and i have some bloody good friends, but i think i just want to sit and cry it all out, cry till i cant cry anymore. but its tough - when your a mum and you have to deal with day to day activities its hard.
next week ill be 32.. please let this be a better year around the sun
0 notes
Note
I know Jeffree did some shit, but didn’t Shane just make bad jokes in the past and then apologize and grow from them? Genuinely asking
yes, shane has grown and changed. he personally apologized to everyone he hurt, and accepted the fact that some people will never forgive him. i’m a little wary of him rn just because garrett and andrew haven’t forgiven him, and i trust those two with my damn life. but yeah, jeffree is just a straight up piece of shit. his apology video was literally “i’m sorry for what i’ve done, but here’s my new makeup i’m releasing soon” like WTF WAS THAT SIR 😂😂 if i do watch shane’s vids, it’s always ones w garrett and andrew (and morgan) bc i love them the most.
now, i understand garrett and andrew may have forgiven shane, but they are not currently (atleast publicly) friends, so until that point, i won’t give him any money lol
i should also mention that i support morgan 100%, but ryland im a little 50/50 on, he seems spoiled and snooty imo
15 notes
·
View notes
Note
How abouttt 30, 32, and 35? :3c @mystery-salad
omg I'm so sorry it took so long to answer this!!! once again, i saw this come in late at night and forgot to look into it after work today ;O; thank you so much though!!
30. Which Dragon’s corrupted area (like the brand, orr, etc) is the least pleasant to be in?
tbh primordus's minions are the most annoying to me because of constantly shooting fire, and you're burning for a while, and i think that's why i don't like the volcano regions (which is something i mentioned in a recent art post). a close second for me is orr because half those risen jackasses have immobilizing conditions and the other half have insane knockdown!! i think both are probably especially annoying to traverse both from an out of character perspective AND for scouts, the commander, and other people to get around from an IN-character perspective.
32. We’ve seen the unchained Risen in Siren’s Landing, and how some appear to have a limited intelligence and gather other Risen around them. How do you think Mordremoth’s and Kralkattorik’s minions fare after their masters’ demise?
so i think what's happening here is that when the absolute master creature dies, leftover small baddies will slowly congregate towards the next-largest creatures--which is why we're still seeing bigger baddies in these same regions + smaller baddies continue to be around these bigger baddies. i think this does not account for creatures like the claw of jormag or the mouth of mordremoth because these are specifically agents OF their respective dragons--the claw acts as jormag's hands, the mouth acts as mordremoth's... mouth.... to consume ley energy and Meat--and then also, of course, the eyes of zhaitan and the mouths of zhaitan. because of the nature of the game and events being recurring, these creatures existing for us as players doesn't go in line with what's happening in the universe, right, like the commander is never going to canonically fight another claw of jormag despite there being TWO metas about it. same goes for everything else that's "the X of Y dragon," you know?
but for creatures like..... the megadestroyer, say--this creature is still feasibly operating in mount maelstrom and drawing minions towards itself because it's not so much linked to primordus like other "x of y dragon"s are to their dragons, it's its own creature, and other minions maybe need something to lead them, something to focus their lingering animalistic natures towards.
what's especially interesting, and im glad i used primordus's minions as a related example, is that primordus's minions are so far the only ones without any humanoid minions. many other corruptions have tons of animalistic minions, but think of the icebrood, of sylvari-turned-mordrem, of risen that were originally mortal, living people of any race (other than sylvari), so..... i'd be curious to see what's going to happen to the icebrood and frost legion in particular because ryland really generated a sense of community among such a terrible group (and of course he did, not only from bangar's influence but from his own sense of charisma), many of whom BEING or BECOMING jormag's minions but we'll see what happens! ask me about charismatic leaders lol there's a lot there ive been thinking about. stuff that makes my sociologist brain VIBRATE
35. Many of you have made up splinter civilisations. Asura that stayed underground, Sylvari from different Trees, Charr cultures outside of the Legions and so on. This is a chance to share.
i'm sure splinter civilizations are everywhere!! i havent personally come up with headcanons, but i love running around and finding new areas where recognizable species have their own systems in place. remember how cool it was to run into the jungle hylek groups?? THAT'S a perfect example! humans have also split across tyria--we already visited humans in elona, now we're going off to visit humans in cantha; these are all splinter civilizations, and there are undoubtedly many more! we may even see norn ACROSS the shiverpeaks, who knows! there is a whole wide world in tyria, and i think every splinter civilization--whether canon or not--is valid and realistic
that said, I'm always especially invested in the secondary species like the hylek as i said, but also skritt, quaggan, grawl, even our bird friends and largos, and shit! there may be another sylvari tree out there we haven't seen yet. i know that one cave burned down but that doesn't mean there weren't other trees! mordremoth could have gotten busy on another continent, and we won't know about it until fucking malyck turns up on a boat and says something absurd like "hey i got lost on my way to the jungle but good news, i found six other trees on the other side of the world" and we'll all just be gobsmacked
#LOL#again im sorry this took so long but i appreciate you asking these !! this was so fun just like the others!#foxholemonster#redwoods words#gw2
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
idk if this is discourse or something you dont want to get into but are garrett and shane still friends??
short answer: 99% sure they’re not. and i’m saying 99% because i obviously can’t be entirely sure because. i don’t know these people irl lol but in my head im like 100% sure they’re definitely not on speaking terms right now, and haven’t been in a loooong while.
long answer? and boy, it’s a long answer: i think garrett removed himself from shane’s circle (with the exception of andrew ofc) long before the drama kicked off. i don’t really recall because i didn’t watch them at the time but i do remember seeing garrett kinda.. disappear from videos around the whole j* era .
i think garrett made a choice when he thought about who he was hanging around with and whether he needed those people in his life. considering andrew was working for shane at the time still, i imagine it would have been hard? i guess? to just be like “yeah i don’t wanna hang out anymore except you andrew but you’re here like most days anyway”
which obviously in the end when needed, andrew took off too and both garrett and andrew created their own empire without shane lmao.
looking back, i don’t think shane even liked garrett that much. as much of an “empath” that he says he is (it gives me such bad second hand embarrassment to even write that lol) he really didn’t give a fuck about garrett. and people would and probably still do, argue that that’s just their level of friendship! lightly bullying your friend but knowing the bondries as to not ever really hurt their feelings.
but shane always pushed that boundary. he was downright cruel to garrett in some instances. and it’s not just the “harry potter is lame” jokes that garrett actually mentioned kinda suck, which they do! but garrett was treated like the comic relief in the group, because in shane’s little bubble he wanted everyone to be what he wanted to be.
you had shane: the hero of the story.
ryland: the sassy back talking witty one (though ryland has the personality and the wit of a broom so that didn’t really work did it)
andrew: the sweet, middle ground, quiet one.
morgan: the clutz thats hastag relatable
and then you have: garrett. the idiot fool who bumbles around, making a scene wherever he goes and is practically babysat by everyone else.
one thing that fucking IRKS me about this is that if you watch garrett’s videos, you know he’s goofy, funny, an insanely fun person. but he’s far from being an idiot. shane couldn’t have someone else besides himself (in his own mind) being funny AND clever (again, in his own mind) so he belittled him and acted like he was a burden to have to lumber around all the time, rather than just a silly, goofy friend that would joke around a lot.
one part of a video was when they were at an airport (i think they were going to Texas) and andrew and garrett are goofing off as they put benjamin in the bag and ryland literally goes “we’re all waiting, garrett,” with this.. snarky, shameful tone. AS IF THEY HAVENT ALL EMBARRESED EACH OTHER IN PUBLIC BEFORE like UGH the whole fucking bunny video makes my blood boil i can’t even get into it it makes me too mad lmao.
so i think garrett definitely decided at some point that he didn’t want to take that kind of abuse anymore, and i definitely think andrew saw it as well - because andrew and garrett were friends way before shane came along, so to me, i feel like andrews priorities always were always with garrett, and if garrett were to leave, i think andrew knew he’d leave to, job or no job, he cared more about his friends than money and fame (looking at you shane ryland and morgan)
shane doesn’t care about his friends or his “loved ones” or any of the people around him. he cares about money and fame and numbers and attention, even if it’s the negative kind. he’d joke that he KNEW he was treating garrett like shit and he’d use that as fuel to keep going, because he knew it drew more people in. plus, i feel like shane knew how popular garrett was getting. his channel exploded and he started making videos and people LOVED him. rightly so lol. nearly half the comments were about garrett; something he said and did, and rather than be excited for his “friend” shane took his anger out on him, almost, and again this is just my opinion, but in a way.. to control garrett.
i think it’s only human to think certain things, and i wonder if garrett had any worries that all his growing success and attention was because of shane and not because of himself. i wonder if maybe, deep down, he had some kind of fear that if he left, his subs would leave too. but obviously, he took the plunge, and everyone stayed and shane’s channel went up in flames lmao
garrett is one of those youtubers i think is very genuine. whilst everyone wears a certain mask online, which is fine, i feel like garrett’s is very thinly veiled. what you see is what you get with him, and the fact that his personality was used as an emotional punching bag by people he trusted and cared about, is really awful.
and i don’t fault him for sticking around shane. we’ve all witnessed toxic friendship/relationships, and im sure a lot of people understand how HARD it is to just get up and walk away. i think garrett tried his best to help shane and make him a better person, but i think it reached his limit, and he had a talk with andrew and they made the mutual desicion to move on without the rest of them.
AND THEYRE KILLING IT TOGETHER!!! i mean, fuck morgan for trying to shift blame on them for leaving, and fuck shane for obvious reasons and fuck ryland for no other reason that i hate him with an inch of my soul GOD he’s so fucking boring to look at. where’s the flavour???
i personally do not think that the nature of their friendship is something garrett is ever going to casually mention or make a sit down video about. i think the only information we’ll get is from shane’s pov either rather snarkily through rylands podcast or if shane ever attempts to come back to youtube, he might just mention them in passing OR they’ll all eventually all break the mutual on social media and that’ll be that. i feel like shane is the kind of person that won’t outright say anything on his own channel to hurt andrew or garrett because he’ll still want to keep up his uwu soft boy personality, but my god i can practically hear the fucking snide comments they’ll make on the podcast that don’t outright namedrop them, but they’ll probably make comments about “fake friends” or some shit like that, and all the brainless shane stans will use that as an excuse to be leave nasty comments on garrett and andrew’s stuff like they already do. so i guess we’ll just have to wait and see and know that hopefully andrew and garrett are prepared for any hate they’ll no doubt be receiving once shane tries to force his way back into the circle again.
so yeah, that’s my long answer lol. i don’t know if there was a discussion between them all but i have a feeling garrett just went away and kinda faded them out, and obviously im guessing there were conversations with andrew and shane since technically he worked for him, but yeah, there’s no way they’re all good friends behind the scenes. and im so fucking fine with that because andrew and garrett were 100% the reason i used to watch shane’s videos, and i’m glad they removed themselves from such a toxic environment where they went off and found success together without needing money or fame or any drama attached.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
dating ~ andrew siwicki ~
hi, sorry im the most inactive blog ever :)
sorry i haven’t actually Written™ anything,,, i spend a lot of my time writing an ongoing story for the tv show the 100 (it’s on quotev, here’s the link!! check it out if you want??), so i dont have a lot of time to come up/plan long things
anyways,, i am kinda new to the shane dawson squad, so this isn’t gonna be very detailed lol sorry :( jk this ended up being way longer than i anticipated
author: onecancelledstamp
sorry kind of hate how indented bullet points don’t show up on the phone? that’s Dumb™ :(
also. kind of making these up as i go, so there nowhere near as elegant in terms of writing and word choice as my previous one w/ bellamy blake. that was one that i had in my notes for a long time, but im really just making these as i go. sorry, enough rambling.
dating ~ andrew siwicki ~
you’d meet through shane and garrett because they’re just Like That™, and it would kind of be like that blind date shane set up w/ megan... but, like, better? (tea lol)
you’d be chilling around at your house one day when you just get this long-winded email from shane-- whose channel you adore-- saying that they have a brilliant idea and your potential soulmate
you accepted within an instant. relationships never seemed to work out for you, but your gut told you that this might be the right moment and person
also, a big part of you kind of hoped that things would work out really well with andrew & it wouldn’t just be for the youtube video. you really liked him and had always been hosting a small internet crush
you have a youtube channel, too, which is how everyone had found out about you. it would be pretty lowkey, but you had a lot of fun with it. probably the same style of video shane makes with his friends, but you can’t compete with shane’s work obviously
you do put a lot of work into your editing, however, and andrew can see that. he respects it, mainly because he is well aware of the process of it and how much hard work is required. it would probably be one of the first things you bond over.
you’re both always teaching each other something with editing or recording. you both are very skilled and telling each other tips and tricks
most of the videos on your youtube channel include all these cute days between the two of you-- almost vlog style--, yet all still original and extraordinary content. you guys are just so passionate about what you do & can’t wait for what the future has in store for the both of you, both in your careers and personal lives
garrett, shane, and ryland would honestly be your number one shippers and they’re constantly asking about the relationship and how it’s going. they’d literally never leave you alone about it
they’d probably also tease you and freak out each time you said something nice about him. or if your face lit up when you were mentioning him. or how you’d blush every time his name was brought up. tiny things like that. they’d scream, prompting you to blush even more and hid behind the sleeves of your sweater
although the blind date video seemed like one long cosmic joke, you actually had a really good time. you could tell he was nervous, obviously, but so were you. his nerves were quite cute, however. and you got to see a genuine, down-to-earth part of him that was very intriguing
he drove you home after the video, and you guys talked about anything that came to mind. conversation was just so easy. when he walked up to your doorstep, he seemed genuinely surprised when you asked if he was willing to go on a second date.
of course he was, but-- for whatever reason-- he thought that his feelings were unrequited (which was not true).
he didn’t kiss you at the doorstep after the first blind date, but the both of you felt that-- the moment after you walked inside-- you both had missed an opportunity, thus making you very excited for the dates to come
there’s going to be laughing. lots and lots of laughing.
all for different reasons, too. sometimes it could just be because he’s a generally nervous person, but he also finds everything you say to be hilarious & will lose his composure every single time
his laugh is literally the most contagious thing ever and you can’t help but smile and giggle along
he’s one of the most supportive people you know, truthfully. he’s such a great listener, too. he really cares about what you have to say and is always willing to help you out with the slightest of problems (maybe after a couple of jokes, though)
whenever you’re with the squad and recording a video, you and andrew are always behind the camera snickering to each other & the audience finds it to be the cutest thing
fans would make some of those compilations of all the best laughing/cute moments.... so pure
the squad was very welcoming & encouraged you to be in videos and hang out with them, and they became some of your closest friends. there was no pettiness, no drama, nothing. nothing like previous friendships. they wanted you to do great things. these people were genuine friends & the audience seemed to be very keen on you and your dynamic with the group
you also grow to love the rest of the squad as well. you share a special connection with all of them. shane, garrett, morgan, ryland,,,,, valid friends.
he continuously gets flustered each time he picks you up for a date because he finds you so beautiful,,, can literally never get rid of that giddy feeling because he’s just so in love with you
you once ask him if he’s going to do that every single time,,,, the answer is yes. every. single. time.
you two would probably send each other little snippets of edited clips or show each other a piece of a video that you’re struggling on and ask for each other’s creative expertise because you both have very unique visions. you both value the other’s opinion & sometimes it’s just fun to giggle over a funny part of a video once in a while
the two of you would never fight. even if you did, it was over something stupid and wouldn’t last that long. you really can’t stay mad at each other for more than twenty minutes without caving in and making up
lowkey......... kinda maybe the jealous type??? only a little bit. a valid bit,,,, like,, real cute. still undecided. anyways sorry moving on
you’d probably hang out all the time and just have editing parties. just like laying in the bed together and working on the latest project. once in a while, it would get too stressful and overwhelming and you guys would leave the house to go do something stupid
you guys both get really flustered and awkward in public for no reason, but you always find some stupid way to relieve all the stress... being in each other’s presence is just calming and a natural soother
you’re constantly asking him to show off some of his talents: piano, rapping, and so many more that he keeps Hidden™ (but shouldn’t) he’s so talented and you constantly tell him that
he’ll probably just get really red and blush in response
the two of you are honestly and truly best friends. the bond that you two share is just so indescribable and incomparable to anything/anyone else. you guys understand each other in such a sincere and genuine way & both of you feel so lucky to have each other
honestly,,,,, soulmates?????
so soft,,, so cuddly,,, so valid. just imagine that! ugh! cute!!! cuddling in bed after a long day of following shane around to record a video and finally getting to settle in bed together and just relax. both fond of holding hands, which is quite common between the two of you, actually. it seems as if you never let each other go. (he also likes to rub his thumb over your knuckles or whatever, it’s just very calming)
you guys cuddle a lot, actually, and shane is always so excited to get it on camera. he really wants the best for both of you and it seems like this is It™
the whole relationship would just be so gentle and pure,,, and almost a little bit clumsy? if that makes any sense. neither of you know what you’re doing, but you make it work. you’re both very cheesy, but you find it ridiculously romantic.
just saying,,, you and garrett and andrew would be like a Power Squad™ with so much manic energy that you’re unstoppable
that’s all i got for now, but it is also midnight on a school night (not like that’s gonna stop me) so. yeah. i might edit this later and add more?? but this ended up way longer than expected so idk
#andrew siwicki#shane dawson#i dont know what this is#this is kinda bad#lol sorry#what a cutie tho#the100#only tagged that because i linked the fic#so sorry#writing#lol#dating andrew siwicki
1 note
·
View note
Note
(🐛: a gift, xoxo. some quick and shitty writing inspired by my night with my girlfriend last night, written by an extremely hungover me)
New Year's Eve
word count: 2,125
pairing: shaun diaz x ryland carlton
content warnings: mentions of throwing up, so emetophobia!!! big one for that!!!
"3..2..1.. HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Shaun screams, giggling wildly and hiccuping before grabbing Ry's face and kissing him messily.
He giggles and wraps his arms around her, dipping her while kissing her back. Ry's far less intoxicated than Shaun. Tipsy, but not drunk like her, electing to be the designated driver for this year.
~
~
~
~
"I'm never drinking ever again," Shaun says, hurling again and clumsily shoving her hair out of her face. "Never, do you hear me?"
Ry snorts and grabs some tissues, walking over to gently hold her hair back. He presses a gentle kiss to her shoulder and rubs her back, "I know, honey."
She heaves again, not actually spitting anything up. "I'm going to end my shit. It's over for me. I'm done. I'm dying."
He rolls his eyes and lazily wraps his arms around her, "My poor babydoll.."
She nods and sniffles before she grabs one of the tissues, cleaning her mouth off. "I'm the poorest babydoll."
He giggles and squeezes her before he winces when that causes her to hurl again.
She sniffles and wipes her mouth off again before looking at him pitifully, almost like a kicked puppy, "Are you gonna sleep on the floor with me?"
He tucks a piece of her hair behind her ear, "Does it have to be the bathroom floor?"
"Nuh-uh, maybe the living room?"
"That works for me. Are you done doin' this?"
She shakes her head and abruptly turns to hurl again. She then nods and grabs the bathroom trash can, "Mhm.. I'm gonna take this with me just in case."
"Probably wise." He flushes the toilet and stands up before leaning down to pick her up slowly, knowing better than to move too quickly.
She whines softly, "Ohhhhhhh my God, the room's spinning so fast and so slow.. All at the same time."
He giggles and walks slowly to the living room, "I know, sweetheart."
He sets her down slowly and gently, giggling when she whines louder. He grabs a few couch pillows and sets them down before grabbing a throw blanket.
Ry moves back to lay down with her, tugging her close and squeezing her tight, "The deep pressure helps the vertigo."
She smiles and nods, "Yeah, it does. Thank you.. Happy New Year, Ry."
He smiles and snuggles her, "Happy New Year, honey."
PLEASE!!!!! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE SUCH A WONDERFUL GIFT!!!!! WAAAAAA I LOVE THEM, I LOVE THIS, IM GOING TO PLATONICALLY SMOOCH U!!!!!
#this is the greatest surprise i ever couldve gotten im deceased#(i hope u feel better soon tho friend! :)#ive never had a hangover myself but ive heard they can rly suck so. get well soon! /g)#oc: shaun diaz#oc: ryland carlton#ship: shaun x ryland#eden.txt#🐛 anon#anonymous#emetophobia /#saved tag
0 notes
Text
BEWARE DANGEROUS DEVIANTART USER
! ! ! !
please do not go out and harass the people in this journal. they've decided to leave deviantART for the time being, and could return as a better person.
----
☆ . ☆ . ☆
hello! it's dazai typing this out and I just wanted to let you know that I only felt this was necessary to bring to peoples attention due to the current treatment that has been received over the past few weeks. this is my side of what happened! cass herself has made her side of the story (and it's quite different) and it will be featured at the bottom of the journal.
☆ . ☆ . ☆
----
rylands accounts
(primary) blackbear666 deadmp3 poacherss
(secondary) hellisten autisticgod wolfga-ng prorobloxplayer ashfurrs
Dazai's Version:
Ryland has been an almost extreme experience for me, his unruly behaviour getting more and more out of hand throughout the three years i've known him. he would pretend to be my friend (according to him) out of "pity" (despite feeling no sympathy) for me yet continued to trash-talk me to his ex and a few others, even during while i was venting to him. he's laughed BOTH times my girlfriends left me, picking on me during times like this while PRETENDING TO BE MY FRIEND.
he's leaked my "deadname" to his ex, told secrets about his exes in a malicious manner, promoted teasing of them and he even claimed to have never loved his ex during the last relationship they had together, taking every moment he could to hurt him. he told me that he purposefully put my main kin on his kin list just to get with me because his ex suggested it.. This is a petty way to "get back" at someone imho
around the time he would pick on me with his ex, he created a callout on me claiming things that i was "a fake tranny," and that i "never payed for my commissions," due to me taking my time to pay $18.00 USD despite having payed off around 5-10 artists at the time. due to the way he pressured me I had to put the other commission on hold, cancel his and pay another artist off just to feel safe about the whole situation. Thankfully in the end the commission problems were sorted out.
** in a call, he mentioned that it was (by memory) "silly of him to have done that, and that he understands that I was trying to pay off the larger thing first."
>> I also have the original callout he made on me saved, if anyone would be interested in seeing it. <<
during this time i felt at unease, I noted him mentioning how i was feeling (i was crying, shaking, bloody anxious, etc.) and at this point i wanted to make another account just to get rid of this backlash. i made the mistake of uploading my main character to my new toyhouse which linked to my new account and he used that to comment on my toyhouse AND my deviantart profile with this comment:
let me explain the situation in that comment!
1.) i called him a psychopath lol
2.) i blocked his boyfriend (ex) on my new account (that i avoided showing anyone) in hopes i could have a fresh start. me blocking his boyfriend caused no harm to him, as we apparently were not mutual.
3.) his boyfriend was trying to avoid mentioning that he had shown me his vent account, leading ryland (kaspur) to believe that I was the one that shared his vent account. he later found out that he infact was wrong, and mad enough at his boyfriend to make him suicidal. I don't know the private details, this is what ryland himself told me. 4. he also used this whole "autism diagnosis" against me despite having been undiagnosed / re-evaluated on the diagnosis with his knowledge of such.
/ / / / / / / / ☆ / / / / / / / /
some time passed and things settled down, until he and his ex broke up. i mentioned something about his ex ( i think i was supporting his ex somehow? the comments are hidden / gone ) and he spammed my profile with 4-6 aggressive comments that he's removed recently, all that is left is us having a tense conversation. with this, we decided to add eachother on discord to figure out what kind of situation ryland had been left in, how his ex treated him and began to enjoy talking to eachother once more.
Time passed and we grew closer, eventually dating. It started out smoothly, we cared about eachother and wanted the best for eachother, but as time went on, teasing remarks began to feel more harmful and fights began to occur more often. Ryland would push my buttons, dig into my weaker side of myself (unintentionally or intentionally, i do not know) and it caused me to become very unhealthy. He was assuming how i felt about situations and tried to one-up me. He literally told me that "i dont rely on you for affection, dont rely on you for attention, dont rely on you for help" and how "I'll dedicate time to Cass, preserve every conversation I had with her," Due to this, I began to get very disconnected with myself and needed proper treatment for the situation I was in. he vented about me and how he "hated me" during our relationship. He even ASKED ME TO ABUSE HIM. LOOK AT THIS:
https://sta.sh/2ejxr4mb7l9?edit=1
and to add the icing on the cake, he would threaten to slit my wrists if I ignored him, and if it was meant to be some kind of sick joke, he made it sound very serious with the tone he used it in.
Can I just mention that.. if you ask someone to do something, it usually means they haven't done it, right? Not only this, but (while he was drunk) he was begging me to have sex with him, tried to pressure me into having sexual conversations with him because "I did with my other girlfriends" and wouldn't stop bringing it up during that night, it hurt me. And what hurts me more is that these conversations happened in a no longer existing groupchat meaning the most I can give you guys is my word.
Not to mention, cass' therapists have mentioned that ryland comes off to them as an abusive, controlling and sometimes even predatory person. One of them even referred Cass this document as something they feel connects with ryland:
/ / / / / / / / ☆ / / / / / / / /
For the past few weeks, ryland has been venting about me in group-chats and pm, as well as making very malicious status posts targeting (and name-dropping) both cass and i.
screenshots of his vents
- Ryland has yet to state what makes him believe I gas-lighted him and abused him, only claims these two titles. i'm still waiting for his reasoning behind these claims ***
- I'm not a Satanist, I do not have any beliefs in religious-related subjects, and never have been. I've questioned it, but in the end never went along with it
- "im more mature with situations like fights" ... that doesn't seem evident in the multiple times you have:
Spammed various people's profiles with hateful messages and deaththreats
Using a wide array of slurs (whore, nigga, cunt) against people
Making fun of their diagnosis's and coping methods, such as autism or age regression
- We decided to leave Ryland because he was making us unhealthy
- Ryland has NO RIGHT to assume what happened in my relationships, there was no pressure involved in any of my relationships
- The problems I 'pressured' him for were ones RELATING TO THE RELATIONSHIP. It was ideal for me to know the problems someone may have with me in hopes to change to make them comfortable and healthier.
*** this is the only thing he uses to back his claims.
"i talked to a therapist someone who KNOWS WHAT IT IS and what abuse is n shit"
/ / / / / / / / ☆ / / / / / / / /
This is a link of him harassing people, spamming people as well as dictating emotions..
extra information
Also, some texts he sent to cass which concerned me.
Cass's Version:
This is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done ;_; because I have never done this to someone before and I hope I never do this again. He was my best friend and I cared for him. But I'm sick and tired of being harassed, name dropped, etc, just because I left him to better myself. I'm sick of him making me look like an awful person just because I left. He makes my mistakes look like the worst thing that has ever happened to him. He won't leave us alone and I don't want to be walked all over by him anymore, not again.
He manipulates the truth:
Last year, Ryland was so stressful to handle.
After I left him, he made a massive call out journal on me. Because I stopped being his friend. Let that sink in, I stopped being his friend. He called me his best friend, he even said to me that I was "better than Nichii" (now known as Dazai) and you know, you don't fucking attack your so called 'best friend' after they leave you, all I did was stop being his friend.
"Oh but he was your bestfriend! Why are you calling him out?!" He won't shut the fuck up about us, he won't leave us alone. He is so spiteful.
Even if Ryland was going through so much at that time, I needed to look after myself. I don't owe him my friendship. I DON'T owe him anything. I was also going through a hard time, I was being bullied at school but oh, I guess your problems were more important then my problems. I was dealing with my own shit, I didn't have to keep babying you because I was so special to you.
I know I don't owe you anything. I did tell him that I felt like I owed him something (I don't remember the exact thing I said) but even if I did say that I owed him something, I don't.
When I was his friend last year it stressed me so much, the counselors I went too could see how our friendship was hurting my mental health... it was just unhealthy what we were and I acted differently because it was affecting my mental health so much. They wanted me to leave him. He kept calling me 'perfect' and a lot of other things, it's been a year so I don't quite remember things clearly but that is one of the things that stuck with me. Everything he said to me made me feel like I had to be the perfect friend for him, I had to be like some sort of knight in shining armor. So I acted differently towards him. I let him walk all over me. I let him hurt me (unintentionally / intentionally?) just so I can be good enough for him.
He didn't force me to act differently, but it's the impact he had on me. I was so depressed, I had to be perfect. I had to be the best just for him. I couldn't do it.
Everyone around me was literally telling me to leave him INCLUDING my therapists, that really says something right? Everyone saw who he really was except me because I considered him my FRIEND.
So back to the massive call out post on me, because of the things he said about me on that call out are now the reason why I think I'm such an awful person,(and because I used to be bulliedl) I know I'm not. He demonized me. He made himself look like an angel. I did do stupid things out of emotion but he did way worse to me, he attacked me, he made himself look like he did nothing bad and I was just some evil person.
Sadly, I didn't screenshot / save anything about the journal (my friends have witnessed it and they all called it bullshit because everything he said about me was false and they are the people who truly know who I am) but I do have a comment which is still up on his old account which is basically all the things he said about me but not as bad.
https://comments.deviantart.com/4/39888493/4226447654
-He was previously known as Kaspur
Okay, first of all I did not leave him over a bee.
I left him because of how depressed he made me(he was tearing at my mental health unintentionally) and everyone(including therapists) told me to leave him. So, I did. I shouldn't of said "it will be okay" it was stupid of me to do, but I was panicking. HE WAS SPAMMING MY PAGE, HE WAS SPAMMING ME ON SKYPE, HE WOULDN'T STOP, WHAT THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSE TO DO?
I do not hurt people intentionally, I never want to hurt people. Everyone who knows me knows that I don't. He never knew me! He really should fucking stop assuming how people felt. He isn't right just because he says it, he never knew how I felt and he still does this to this very day. YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW OTHERS FEEL.
You know what, I did leave him for a month because I needed personal space at that time I was not 'trying to get the fuck away from him'. He was unbelievably dependent on me and I couldn't handle it, I couldn't even handle myself, so how the hell was I suppose to handle him?
He made it seem like I made him be so 'attached' and so 'clingy'. I did nothing. I knew what I was to him but that doesn't mean shit. That doesn't mean I have to stay and be his friend. I am not obligated to be his friend just because he felt like that towards me. Leaving him doesn't make me a bad person.
"I told him i WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU"
He asked me to promise him that I would not leave him. That is unhealthy. I remember the day very clearly because it made me feel uneasy. I did say those things but I felt very very pressured into doing so. I mean, if someone who relied on you heavily asked you that, how would you react? "I can't promise you that I can stay forever/ I can't promise you I won't leave."
"when he gave his opinion about a friend coming back to me (she left me for 5 months and i didnt know why) I TOTALLY DIDNT LISTEN TO HIM! HIS OPINION DOESNT MATTER RIGHT?!!?"
How dare you assume my personal situation you barely knew anything about. I wasn't going to leave my best friend just because you told me too. She did not hurt me like how you hurt me.
Also, by the way, if your friend hurt/upset you and you vent about how you feel at that moment, that doesn't make it a fucking back stab. We all say things at the heat of the moment, and I suppose what Ryland did back then was 'heat of the moment' but it was a major overreaction. I remember he'd talk about it for months, he terrified me. You don't DEMONIZE someone you called your 'best friend' just because they leave you.
He also harassed me. He spammed my fucking profile. He still does this to people. I know he spammed his ex. I still have those screenshots. He used multiple accounts. He made 3 new accounts just to keep spamming me.
https://xxcasandraloverxx.deviantart.com/
http://xxcasandrasenpaixx.deviantart.com/
http://xxcasandrasuckedmexx.deviantart.com/
I was in a call with my best friend at that moment and I was crying my eyes out! He saw all the things they said about me he helped me hide the comments because there was so much.
Overall, he and his friends used 12 accounts just to spam me. Pathetic. Here's the accounts because I reported it:
(lol dazai was one of them xD abuse)
+ the fact that he used my real name to create three of these spam accounts made me feel absolutely terrible
If anyone wants proof of the spam, I'll gladly give it to you. I have it saved on my old phone.
This was last year but from what I and Dazai can tell, he has barely improved and has gotten worse. He STILL manipulates situations into something more 'evil' then what they really were.
Me and Dazai would call and play minecraft but we kept it from him because we didn't want to make him jealous, he was very jealous about me and Dazai being friends.
So we were all in a call together and after I went to bed, Dazai accidentally told him that we had been calling and playing minecraft and Ryland makes it out that this is one of the terrible things Dazai has done. He lied about playing minecraft with me.
In a journal he said this, "38. What happened? we dated. i got lied to three times. he made me look like the bad guy cus i was mad at him for lying. he left me. haha, so what was that mr "i love ryland" thnx 4 faking it"
He made you look like the bad guy? You made yourself look like the bad guy, you overreacted to him not telling you that we played minecraft together. Like, you lie yourself, you told me you lied about our friendship or whatever the fuck you mean't a few months ago. So... you can lie, but if we lie we're the worst person to have ever existed? Grow up. Just because you're 13 doesn't give you an excuse to act immature. Sure, it plays a roll because you're young but... you know what you do is bad and you STILL DO IT. You're nearly 14.
----
The counselors/therapists I've gone to ALL say he's manipulative and they all think he's a predator. I tell/show them what he has said to me and that's what they have all said. All (I'm not exaggerating) of the therapists don't even believe he is 13 because of the way he acts. My recent therapist thinks what he did to me was a "power and control thing" and she said he is very manipulative.
She read them out loud to me and I was shocked because some of them were spot on for example: Minimize/deny/blame
The descriptions under the headlines are just examples of what someone could do.
He DEFINITELY minimizes the things he has done wrong since he's done it with me(you can see it up there), he did it with Dazai (look at his side of the story) and I'm sure he does it with everyone who wrongs him.
-He knows he does bad things but, he never changes? He told me he didn't want to change.
-He blamed the things he did to Dazai on his ex.
I didn't want to believe any of it, he was my friend. I didn't want to believe he was manipulative. I was ignorant because I was blinded by the fact that he was my friend. I know he isn't intentionally manipulative, or at least, I hope he isn't intentionally manipulative. But IT'S HIS PERSONALITY. Dazai KNOWS HIM. You don't want to see the bad in your friend, ya know? You support your friends. Now that I left him for good and I'm with healthier people, I can finally see who he really is and I regret supporting him.
---
I'll repeat this: He is sometimes unintentionally manipulative but he does have control over what he does.
He told me things like this multiple times:
but as soon as I want too, he pulls stuff like this:
He begged me, I don't want to show it all because it fucks me up but if I really have too I will. I asked him to not beg me but he still kept begging!
That really pressured me. It made me feel like shit. It made me feel so guilty for leaving you which shouldn't happen.
He lied to me saying it was okay, and then he tried to manipulate me into staying with him. Those screenshots really explain themselves. I nearly stayed too despite it putting SO MUCH PRESSURE ON ME, I was crying so much, it hurt my chest, I was about to have a panic attack, it was awful.
I didn't stay because Dazai helped me through it, and I'm glad I didn't stay because our friendship was fucking me up.
One time he called me selfish for trying to stop him from committing suicide(he apologized but that isn't the point of this) and this is what my friend said about it:
-------
Ryland checks up on us.
We check up on him. I'm not going to lie, I do check up on him. He's out to get us. He makes me so anxious. I'm scared he's going to ruin my reputation like he did with me last year! and with so many people just because they leave him or because they 'gaslight/manipulate him'. DAZAI IS NOT MANIPULATIVE. Dazai is no where NEAR manipulative! Dazai is honestly the kindest soul I've ever met. He has helped me and my friend Sky through a lot, and I'm really glad I met such a kind person like him. Many other people can say the same and it's really fucking weird how only one person on earth thinks differently about both of us!
You don't know us. You're just really fucking upset because me and him are friends and you sure love to try to get back at us for enjoying each others company. How malicious.
We have our heads up OUR ASSES? how fucking hilarious.
HOW DO YOU NOT SEE HOW MANIPULATIVE YOU ARE, IS YOUR HEAD SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU CAN'T GET OUT?
You treated DAZAI LIKE SHIT.
You manipulated me. You pressured me. You made a call out on me BECAUSE I STOPPED BEING YOUR FRIEND. You've done HORRIBLE stuff to me, Dazai and your other 'abusive' ex.(more on that later) If anything, calling me a bitch is a compliment. Thank you. YOU'RE TOXIC.
Dazai is not manipulative, that is not who he is. You fucking told me he was manipulating me but you have no proof? I know why Dazai acted the way he did and what he did to you isn't as bad as you make it out to be. Sure, he did stupid things but you make it out like it's the worst fucking thing he's ever done in his life. NOBODY deserves to be demonized for minor / HUMAN mistakes. You demonize the living shit out of people just because they leave you.
proof who? He's manipulating me because I... think he's a good person? He does not treat me like how you treated me.
I'm sure Dazai mentioned this in his side of the story so I'm going to say this: He acted differently around you because of how awfully you treated him, he was not himself and he wanted to leave. You do NOT know Dazai. It is not an excuse, but it is the impact you had on him. You made him unhealthy by the way you treated him, intentionally or not, you still did and you fucking knew you were treating him poorly. You hint it yourself in a meme journal you wrote here;
"49. What do you regret: reacting the way i did
50. Why? cus i would be with the person i love right now lol?"
SO YOU MUST KNOW YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!
And you know what Ryland? You're not my second choice, your not even my last choice! I'll never pick you! Not anymore at least. You always wanted to one up Dazai! You made me feel so freaking pressured to leave him just because you wanted to be better then him. I felt like I had to tell you that 'you're better' and other things just to comfort you. You depended on me and I felt like there was no other option, I didn't know what to say that would make you feel better! Sure, it might've not been your intention to do that but you still made me feel very pressured.
"i will always be that friend u have in the background while u r playing doll with ur other friends but when they leave you, you come to me"
EXCUSE ME? E X C U S E M E? YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW I FELT ABOUT YOU. STOP FUCKING ASSUMING HOW I FELT TOWARDS YOU. I have NEVER came back to you when my friends leave me. You're fucking gross, how DARE YOU. YOU DON'T KNOW ME. That is not who I am. I try my best to talk to EVERYONE even when I am facing my own problems. STOP TRYING TO BE BETTER THEN MY FRIENDS. YOU'RE NOT BETTER THEN THEM. You are probably THE WORST friend I've EVER HAD. Not even the friends I had petty childhood fights with treat me like that! and that's saying a lot.
AND JUST IN CASE HE MENTIONS THIS I'LL JUST SAY IT: I swear to god if you mention how "I left that one friend because I was jealous" yeah, I did. I don't want to get into detail because it is irrelevant but I didn't want to hurt her anymore then I have, I wasn't handling myself well and so I left her. You even told me to leave her. I care a lot about her still and I know for a fact I won't act the way I did again. I've learnt from my mistake. You don't know the full story between me and her. Yeah I told you 'bits' and 'pieces' but you don't know how we felt. So just fuck off before you mention it, you really really love to assume things so I wouldn't be surprised if he mentions this situation with some diluted bullshit.
You're disgusting Ryland for assuming I'd do that. I don't know how I supported and even loved someone like you.
You are not fucking mature when it comes to fights stop trying to make yourself this fucking angel, you're the most immature 13 year old I've ever met. My brothers your age too and he thinks your really immature. You make NO SENSE.
You also do not know how I handle my friends either, so like, just fuck off? I'm sorry that my mental health / care for the other person is important to me? NOT EVERYBODY ACTS LIKE YOU RYLAND. You made me so FUCKING DEPRESSED and you couldn't fix that. You can't fix it. I've always felt like that around you. Just because I leave someone does not mean they were worthless to me. So shut the fuck up, seriously. You do not know how me and Dazai handle things, we handle our situations very differently then yours, just saying.
I'll repeat this again; I do not owe you my friendship. No matter how depressed, weak, whatever you feel, I don't have to be your friend.
I really should not have come back to you all those 4 times I felt bad. I knew you were dependent on me that is why I kept coming back. I couldn't say no to you and I don't know why. I enjoyed our friendship of course, but there were more negatives in our friendship then positives. You said it in a bunch of statuses before, how you can't function without me and other things about me. I got those screen shoted.
But, like you said to me:
My kindness does blind me. I gave you the benefit of the doubt all this time. I thought you were a good person despite you proving it otherwise constantly.
---
Stop assuming how I felt throughout our friendship.
Stop assuming how I handle my friendships.
I handle situations differently to yours so SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Stop fucking assuming how I feel! Just because I tell you something doesn't mean it's the whole story! You are malicious.
I don't like you.
I want you to get the fuck away from me, I want you to shut the fuck up about me, I never want to be in contact with you AGAIN. I'll never ever come back to you like I have stupidly done those 4 times, I did it because I cared about you but fuck that. You obviously never cared about me since you treat me like shit after I leave. You're so fucking spiteful and full of revenge it'd be healthier if you just move on and learn from your mistakes. You almost never do.
You CONSTANTLY complain about things you can fix about yourself, I CAN'T HELP YOU WHEN ALL YOU DO IS WHINE AND NOT WANT TO CHANGE.
I'm also reconsidering the situation with your ex Sage, because I know now that you make issues look more sinister then they really are. I know he did some stupid shit, but were they really that fucking terrible? I'd honestly like to hear his side of the story since we never got to hear it.
If what me and Dazai did was bad, the things he's done to us is worse.
I'm done with you Ryland.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
* 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒆𝒕 // repost, don’t reblog !
𝑩𝑨𝑺𝑰𝑪𝑺 :
FULL NAME. regan wendy fisher.
NICKNAME. rae, reggae, reggie, reg, ray gun, eris the vigilante, eris, wannabe war goddess.
GENDER. agender, she/her, they/them pronouns.
HEIGHT. 5′6″
AGE. 22.
ZODIAC. scorpio.
SPOKEN LANGUAGES. english (native, fluent), german (fluent), hebrew (fluent), greek (fluent), ancient greek (fluent), latin (fluent).
𝑷𝑯𝒀𝑺𝑰𝑪𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑪𝑺 :
HAIR COLOR. light to medium brown, wavy.
EYE COLOR. forest green around her pupil, a bluer green towards the edge of her iris. thing ring of greyish blue and her entire iris. darker blue-green flecks throughout.
SKIN TONE. pale peach. cool undertones. forearms slightly tanner than everything else. dry skin type. covered in freckles and moles, most notably on her face and arms.
BODY TYPE. slim, well defined. obviously strong. not bulging muscles, but there is muscle definition.
VOICE. a little gravelly, medium pitch, very distinctive.
DOMINANT HAND. left handed.
POSTURE. stands tall, commands attention, very regal.
SCARS. most scars are on her legs, though a few on her forearms. mostly from fighting. bullet wound scar on both sides of her left shoulder (through and through). small scar of claw marks on her right hip that she hides.
TATTOOS. ll. on her left forearm (tribute to favourite band letlive.), minimalist golden gate bridge on her right side, feather on her right forearm, geometric scorpion with watercolours bleeding out of the lines, a lambda (Λ) on her inner left wrist, the hebrew word for love (אהבה) on her right arm above her sister’s name (morgan) in morgan’s handwriting, a daisy (morgan’s favourite flower) twisting around her name and the hebrew word.
PIERCINGS. two in each ear, industrial in her right.
BIRTHMARKS. no birthmarks, but has a mole on her lip.
MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S). the mole on her lip, her eyes, her moles and freckles.
𝑪𝑯𝑰𝑳𝑫𝑯𝑶𝑶𝑫 :
PLACE OF BIRTH. palo alto, california, usa.
HOMETOWN. san francisco, california, usa.
SIBLINGS. full siblings: ryland atticus fisher and morgan alice fisher. step / half siblings: veronica lucrezia dancy, vaughn aroldo dancy. adopted siblings: joanna victoria mills fisher dancy, otto gustav slaughter, abel umberto peter fisher dancy. maternal half sibling: annelies jane buckingham. paternal half siblings: michael samuel eaton and rebecca teagan coombs.
PARENTS. jolene naamah fisher (mother), ethan marcis singer (father), june sophia dancy (stepmother).
𝑨𝑫𝑼𝑳𝑻 𝑳𝑰𝑭𝑬 :
OCCUPATION. grad student, restorer at famsf, volunteer at the contemporary jewish museum, self defence instructor. eris the vigilante.
CURRENT RESIDENCE. san francisco, california. rents a house with her girlfriend valerie jane beauchamp and her best friend tobias wren carlisle and his girlfriend leah morelli.
CLOSE FRIENDS. tobias wren carlisle (best friend, roommate, detective on her sister’s murder case), valerie jane beauchamp (girlfriend and best friend), bobbi yue xiao (best friend), annabella seo-yeon choi (best friend), nicolette darcy robbins (best friend), aj maya jared (close friend), fiona maeve buckner (new friend, but close). many others close friends as well.
RELATIONSHIP STATUS. in her main verse (and in my book) she is dating valerie jane beauchamp and has been dating her for almost a year now.
FINANCIAL STATUS. upper middle class. (her family are millionaires though.)
DRIVER’S LICENSE. yes. passed on her first try. also has a motorcycle license.
CRIMINAL RECORD. no. then again, she works closely with the police and helps them.
VICES. chainsmoking (hence the url), drinking.
𝑺𝑬𝑿 & 𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑨𝑵𝑪𝑬 :
SEXUAL ORIENTATION. pansexual pandemiromantic.
PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE. submissive | dominant | switch
PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE. submissive | dominant | switch
LIBIDO. medium.
TURN ON’S. dirty talk, playful dirty talk, making out.
TURN OFF’S. over possessiveness, objectifying.
RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES. regan’s first relationship is one she doesn’t talk about anymore. she personally doesn’t like having it mentioned. ever. it ended when he became possessive and abusive and assaulted her. since then she’s been careful and doesn’t enter a relationship carelessly. regan and valerie had been actively dating for months before she was comfortable calling her her girlfriend.
𝑴𝑰𝑪𝑬𝑳𝑳𝑨𝑵𝑬𝑶𝑼𝑺 :
CHARACTER’S THEME SONG. you should see me in a crown // billie eilish. control & gasoline // halsey. counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums // a perfect circle. thank you for the venom // my chemical romance. cherry // itzy.
HOBBIES TO PASS TIME. training, sparring. learning and studying. watching tv and movies. going to concerts.
LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED. a pretty even mix.
PHOBIAS. none.
SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL. depends on what the confidence is for. in her ability to protect the people she loves? very low. (her sister is dead after all.) in being able to kill? extremely high. in general, though, below average.
VULNERABILITIES. her sister. her friends and family. physically her weaknesses are limited, due to her powers.
𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑮𝑬𝑫 𝑩𝒀 — i stole it bc im a thief.
𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑮𝑰𝑵𝑮 — anyone else whomst wanna be a thief too.
0 notes
Text
Our Dirty Little Secret (Chapter 8)
P.o.v Ellington
Finally I was able to confess my feelings to riker! To be completely honest I didn't think I would have been able to do that if it wasn't for Rocky talking with me about it just before hand. I'm so thankful to have a best friend like Rocky but I am also just as thankful to have someone like Riker in my life. I'm just genuinely happy right now with how my life is currently going. I mean I may not have the slightest clue of what mine and Riker's relationship status is but all that I know and all that I care about right now is that he loves me and that I love him too, and I want that to never change. I was soon pulled from my thoughts by riker wrapping his arms around my waist from behind while his hands hover over my v lines above my shirt. Its honestly kind of funny because this is usually how things would start off just about every single time riker and I had sex but I knew that wasn't going to happen because his family was home. Although what he is currently doing to me is a huge turn on for me I didn't mind that we wouldn't be having sex today because now I know the relationship we have isn't solely based on sex but its based on the love we have for one another and that in itself just makes the wait worth it.
P.o.v Riker
I walked up behind Ellington snaking my arms around his waistline. "Hey babe" I said while gently running my fingers over his v line on top of his shirt because I know it drives him crazy. "Hey" he replied and I could tell he was struggling to keep himself from moaning which that in itself was turning me on. I stopped, knowing that we can't really do that right now. He groaned from frustration causing me to snicker. "Later babe, when no one's home" I replied while pulling my arms away from him so I could allow him to see my face as I smirked at him. "Fine but only if you promise me" he replied making a gesture to his crotch with his eyes. I giggled softly. "I promise" I replied. After that we went into the living room where the rest of my family was.
*one week later*
P.o.v Ross
Rocky, ryland, Rydel, mom, dad, and i were watching TV when all of a sudden Riker and Ellington decided to join us. I swear to god their relationship has just gotten so adorable over the past week that its almost sickening. It actually makes me think. I mean I haven't had a girlfriend in who knows how long and seeing Riker and Ellington so happy together actually makes me really jealous. After that I sighed, stood up, and made my way to my room. I got to my room and pulled out my phone. I went on twitter and scrolled through it for a bit before I decided to make a tweet "Seeing them so happy makes me wish I had someone of my own" I hit tweet and then shortly after my mentions blew up just as I expected. My mentions consisted basically of fans that felt sorry for me, a bunch or raia tweets and a bunch of raura tweets as well. I hate to sound rude but to be honest I think the fans need to get a grip on the fact that nothing will ever happen between laura and I because we are like best friends and then Maia and I just won't get together either because as great of a friend she is I will never think of her as anything more than that. After a couple minutes I tweeted a reply to all of this. "I hate to sound rude but nothing is ever going to happen between laura and I or Maia and I, I may be single but that doesn't just mean I'll throw myself into a relationship with just anyone" after that I hit tweet, closed my phone and put my head on my pillow. All of a sudden there was a knock on the door and before I could reply the door opened.
P.o.v Ellington
i walked up to Ross' bedroom door and knocked. im not exactly sure why i knocked though because i knew i was going to go in to check on him anyways. with that i made my way into his room and i saw him there curled up in his bed facing his back to me. i could hear quiet sobs escaping his lips.it breaks my heart to see this. with that i sat along the edge of his bed which i think startled him a bit. "what's wrong ross?" i asked him with a concerned tone. at first there was no reply but then he rolled over and sat up. i dont know i mean im single and it kind of bothers me to see how cute your relationship with riker is and i get jealous but that doesnt usually lead to me being in tears." he then sat and thought for a second. "well do you think that maybe the fans might have said something to trigger this." he said with a questioning tone. "no... okay maybe, i mean i sent out a tweet that was basically a discreet way of saying i was jealous of the relationship you have with my brother but then the fans just turned my sadness into a bunch of raura and raia and im just sick of it" he said as the tears began to fall from his eyes once again. i feel so bad for poor ross because he goes through so much more hate than the rest of us. with that i pulled him to my chest and stroked his hair. "its okay Ross, just ignore them and do what your heart tells you and also you will find someone some day, i mean it way not be for a while but you will ind the one and you will just know" i said comforting him. "Thankyou so much Ellington, for everything" he said and with that we went back out to the living room with everyone else.
0 notes
Note
Full Moon
word count: 5,078
ship: shaun diaz x ryland carlton
content warnings: none really! beyond brief mention of smoking
Love is all consuming, some would say. It'll make you stupid and obsessed, unable to focus in on anything at all. Shaun respectfully disagrees, having a stronger boundary on equally spreading out her time. Ryland tries to agree too, most of the time.
But, he'll be damned if sometimes the slender silhouette of his lover, his best friend, his everything, doesn't encompass him and swallow him whole. It'll make him dizzy and ditzy, like a schoolgirl who twirls her hair and pops bubblegum, who writes her and her first love's names in a heart.
With her back to Ryland, Shaun slouches over the bench of a bay window, located in one of her spare rooms. He's got nothing to do in here, since this room has always strictly been for Shaun's hippie, witchy, ghouls, goblins stuff that he couldn't wrap his head around. But, it was impressive as hell that she could. She never missed a beat when she tried to explain it all to him, the information seemingly locked in the most vital part of her brain.
He was well aware that he shouldn't bother her. She already made him go through a "cleansing" as she called it, just to be in the room with her while she did all of this. Which included being nearly smoked out by some frankincense and lavender incense, meditating for five minutes, promising to have No Bad Vibes, and having to hold some crystals the whole time he was going to be in the room. He didn't really mind though. The incense could be a little overwhelming, but the meditating was nice, the crystals were pretty, and actively combating negative thoughts wasn't too bad. And he was still allowed to smoke, and hang out with his girl. It could definitely be worse.
He beams a smile at her, even though she can't see him. Everything about her is making him melt; she looks so delicate in the lighting of moonlight and candles, which is a rarity in itself, considering her tough exterior, the soft hums coming from her lips as she's organizing her things, her wild curls, the ends still holding a hint of purple from the last time it was dyed, and the way she looks on her knees, (He thinks that last part, both from a sexual and nonsexual stance.)
After what feels like hours of admiring her, studying her, he speaks up. He talks softly, barely above a whisper, before he realizes she didn't hear him. "Shay?" He asks, more urgently this time.
She perks up and continues to focus on her task, "Yeah, teddy?"
Ry's smile is nothing short of gooey, his eyes gazing dreamily and longingly. He forgets that he was meant to follow-up with something before Shaun looks back at him questioningly. "Oh! Um," he pauses, knowing he never had anything to say in the first place, just desperate for an ounce of her attention.
She stares back a minute longer before tilting her head, "Welllll..?"
"Whatcha dooooin'?" He decides to ask, after he's already turns a bright red.
Shaun smiles and turns back to face the window, "Well, tonight's a full moon." She giggles at the silence before further explaining herself, "Those are good for cleansing and recharging my tools. My tarot cards, my crystals, things like that. So I'm getting things ready for that. Just making sure I have all of my crystals, and running everything through some incense to cleanse it before I set it on the windowsill."
He smiles, still confused but nodding along, "Oh! That's cool. How long is that gonna take?"
"Not too much longer, I don't think. But I have a lot of crystals, so. Definitely another ten or so minutes."
He toys with his hands, "Caaaan I help at all?"
"Well, I do need the sperm of a righteous man."
He blinks a few times, blushing brightly, "Oh! Um, well, I-"
She cackles and shakes her head, "Ry, I'm kidding! I love you, but you are so easy!"
Ryland brings his hands up to cover his cheeks, "You're an asshole!"
She giggles and nods, "I'm well, well aware!"
He giggles softly and continues to watch her, tapping his foot impatiently before moving the crystals he was meant to hold in one hand. He grabs a cigarette and lights it, smoking it while watching her.
Shaun finishes up a good fifteen minutes later. She takes her necklace off and sets it in the windowsill, smiling sadly at it.
He tilts his head and crawls closer to her, "You have to recharge your mom?"
She snorts and sniffles, "No, she just loved full moons. It feels right to give her a break from my shit and let her do something she loved."
He pouts when she sniffles, quickly wrapping his arms around her and pulling her back into his lap. "Hey, hey. No bad vibes, remember the thorough conversation from earlier?"
She giggles wetly and nods, "No bad vibes. I'm ridding of them. I just miss her."
Ryland nods and rubs her cheek gently, "I know, ma chérie."
She melts and smiles up at him, "We can go to a different room if you want. I know all the incense can get overwhelming."
Ryland shakes his head and smiles, slowly rocking her, "Nah, I'm okay here. I know this is your space, I want you to feel comforted."
Shaun smiles big and bright, letting herself melt into every curve and indent of his body, and letting her love for him be all consuming.
PLEASE!!!!!!! GODGODGOD, IM DECEASED, IM A MELTED PUDDLE ON THE GROUND!!!!!!! THIS IS SO GOOD!!!!!! U CHARACTERIZED THEM EXACTLY WRITE, ITS LIKE U STOLE MY BRAIN!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAA
#THEMTHEMTHEM!!!!!!!!!! IM HAPPY STIMMING SO HARD#IM NEVER GONNA STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS EVER IN A MILLION YEARS#oc: shaun diaz#oc: ryland carlton#ship: shaun x ryland#eden.txt#anonymous#🐛 anon#saved tag
0 notes
Text
Our Dirty Little Secret (Chapter 6)
P.o.v Ellington
To be honest with everything going on right now I’ve been really stressed out and I feel really tense because of it and I know a really good way to relieve a bit of stress. My mind began to wander and I imagined the kind of things that Riker used to do to me which obviously turned me on. I could feel my bulge begin to grow. I sat up, pulled my shirt off and ran my hands down my chest. My hands slowly made their way to my crotch and I began to rub my crotch over my pants. I could feel my pants getting too tight to bare. With that I took them off and I kept going until I felt the need to take my boxers off too. I groaned lowly as I grasped my member. I began pumping and I moaned loudly screaming Riker’s name. All of a sudden Before I could make myself look like I wasn’t just jacking off the door opened. It was Riker. He looked shocked for like a second or so but then he smirked. “Would you like some help with that?” He asked me in a sexy tone. I nodded without saying anything and he climbed on top of me. I love it when he takes control.
P.o.v Riker
I could hear moaning coming from the guest bedroom so me being a curious person I decided to check it out. As i got closer and I could hear it clearer I realized it was Ellington and he was moaning someone’s name. The name he was moaning was mine. I opened the door to the guest bedroom to see him lying there with his eyes shut in pure exctasy. I was shocked. I gasped causing him to open his eyes in shock. I smirked at him. “would you like some help with that?” I asked seductively. In response he nodded silently so I climbed on top of him. His hands instantly went for the waistline of my jeans. He struggled for a moment to get them undone but then he managed to undo them. I pulled them down and began grinding against his already rock hard member. I could eventually feel myself getting hard as well. I pulled my pants off completely and then pulled my boxers off as well. I began grinding against him more. “Quit teasing me!” He groaned under his breath. “Okay” I replied, and with that I stopped altogether. I made it seem as if I was going to get off of him in attempt to get him to listen. He groaned. “Well, it’s either my way, or not at all.”
P.o.v Rydel
I was walking out of the bathroom and down the hall when I heard something from inside the guest bedroom. it sounded like moaning… who the fuck is having sex right now? i tried to slowly turn the door handle to see if it was even unlocked and it was. who would be stupid enough to not atleast lock the door if you are going to have sex. i opened the door slowly to find ellington lying there completely naked with his dick in Riker’s mouth while the two of them were moaning in pleasure. “what the fuck is going on here?” i said causing them to completely stop what they were doing. “i can explain!” Riker said as he was wiping what seemed to be ellington’s cum off of his face. that is literally so gross. “then start talking cause im really confused…” i said trying not to look directly at them. “and can you two like cover up or something cause i saw things that i probably wont be able to unsee” i said. “yeah yeah” ellington Replied covering the two of them with some bed sheets. “okay so now, explain why the two of you were jus having sex…” i said awkwardly. “okay well dont hate us but three years ago we kinda made a deal that if we ever felt the need to… you know, we would go somewhere alone and well… you get the point.” Ellington said. i could now feel the awkwardness circulating throughout the room. “so you mean to tell me that this has been going on for three years and no one has the slightest clue?” i asked still very slightly confused. “well… Rocky knows cause he got suspicious so we just ended up telling him and now you know as well but other than that, no one else knows” Riker replied “you two do realize that you should probably tell the others soon because ive seen the kind of looks Ross gives you two and i would imagine that hes atleast suspicious as to what is going on and not to mention Ryland has come up to me on multiple occasions asking what is going on betwen the two of you, and finally im sure that if you two were to just be honest about it no one would judge you. i mean mom and dad might get a bit mad that its no strings attatched because god knows that never works…” as i said that last part i noticed ellington’s face go red which only meant one thing. Ellington has feelings for Riker. “but other than that you two have absolutely nothing to worry about.” i finished. “well i guess then we will get dressed and then we can go glear things up.” Riker said. i could still see a slight redness in ellington’s face.
P.o.v Ross
i was sitting in the livingroom watching tv with Ryland When all of a sudden Riker, Ellington and Rydel walked into the room but then Rydel walked away coming back in with mom and dad following her. im really confused now. once mom, dad, and Rydel sat down Riker began to speak. “there is something that Ellington and i need to tell you guys that we have been keeping from you for quite some tim now, and please before any of you make an outburst of some sort at how disappointed you are in us just hear us out first please, and then you have a full right to be mad at us or disappointed or whatever.” riker said causing us all to nod in agreement. “okay so Riker and i struck this deal abou three years ago and no one else knew about it but us” ellington started. “of course until these last couple of days Rocky started to get suspicious so we told him and then just today Rydel kind of walked in on us… so we ende up telling her… and then she convinced us that it would be best if we told you guys” ellington said. we all seemed quite confused still. “so anyways… that deal that Ellington and i made three years ago is that whenever one of us has… urges… then the other would kinda… you know… help out… and its kinda to the point now that its a regular thing…” Riker said trailing off. well i do have to admit it makes a lot of sense. “well as long as no feelings get hurt” mom replied. all of a sudden i noticed in the corner of my eye that dad did not look anywhere close to happy.
0 notes
Text
Keep your Enemies Closer (Chapter 6)
P.o.v Amy
Rose and I sat at our usual spot for lunch today which is by the window in the foyer. We were just talking about random things when all of a sudden Rydel and her friend Stevie walked up to us. "Hey babe!" She said to me wrapping me in a hug. Mean while Rose and Stevie were looking at us in awe because they must have thought that Rydel and I are cute together. We pulled away from the hug and Rydel introduced Rose and I to Stevie and then I introduced Rydel and Stevie to Rose. After we were all formally introduced for the first time we all had a really random conversation and got along great. After lunch we all headed to our third period classes. Mine being foods so Rydel followed me considering we had that class together.
P.o.v Rydel
When Amy and I got to foods we asked the teacher if we could sit next to each other for a while and surprisingly she was completely fine with it. Considering Amy and I got to sit next to each other the class went by really fast. Today in foods we took notes and then started watching the movie called supersize me. One thing I can definitely say about this movie is that it is absolutely disgusting. We had to stop part way through the movie because the bell rang after foods amy and I hugged while saying goodbye and headed our separate ways. I got to last period and sat down. The bell went and the teacher began the lesson. I didn't really pay attention to the lesson today because I couldn't stop thinking about Amy the whole time. Lucky for me no one really cared that I wasn't paying attention to the lesson. Last period went by really fast. The final bell rang and I grabbed my things so I could go home. I got to my car and started it up so I could get home as soon as possible so I could text amy.
P.o.v Amy
The school day just ended and I was headed on my way home when I realized I had no way of getting home. With that I texted Rydel. "Hey dells, have you left yet?" I quickly got a response saying "no why babe?" With that I texted her back saying "I just realized I don't have a ride home" with that she texted me back saying "how about you come with me to my house because we should probably practice for drama again anyways." I texted her back saying "ok! <3" i grabbed my stuff and headed out to Rydel's car where she was waiting for me. I got in the car and pecked her on the cheek. And with that we were on our way to Rydel's house. When we got to Rydel's house we went straight downstairs.
P.o.v Rose
Im so excited! Today is my... I guess you could say "date" with Joseph. Oh my god what to wear! "wow I am such a girl right now" I said to myself out loud. After about 20 minutes of freaking out I had settled on an outfit. The outfit I had chosen was a big plain grey sweater that when pulled down goes to about mid thigh with a pair of simple black leggings. I decided that with the outfit I would keep my makeup simple. As for make up I just put on a small amount of black mascara with neutral eyeshadow. After I was ready I had decided to watch tv while I waited for Joseph. Eventually Joseph arrived and we left my house to go downtown for a few hours. When we were downtown I guess you could call it an actual date because we ended up seeing a movie and then going to kiwi kraze. It was pretty amazing. At the end of the night Joseph brought me home and after he walked me to the door he kissed me. The best part other than him kissing me was that he said we should do it again. It was absolutely the best night ever. I wonder how Amy's night was going with Rydel. I know ur probs thinking 'how does she know that Amy and Rydel are hanging out right now?' Well I know because she texted me that she was there practicing for that drama thing they are doing.
P.o.v Rydel
Amy and I were practicing our dance routine that we would be presenting in drama on Friday after we had decided we both had it down we decided we would be done for the day. Right now it was 4:30 and Amy didn't have to be home until 6:00 which gave us lots of time to do whatever we wanted considering that we are the only two here. we decided we were going to watch a movie.the movie we decided to watch was dirty dancing. the thing about dirty dancing is that the name basically Describes What the movie consists of. because of this, this movie tends to be a bit of a turn on for me. Part way through the movie it came to a part that tends to really turn me on. I know it's kinda weird that it turns me on but some of the dance moves are pretty sexual and I can't help but get really turned on by it. I know it may be odd that I get turned on by it but some of the dance moves are really sexual and I can't help but get turned on by it. All of a sudden a particularly sexual scene of the movie came on the screen. As the scene went on I felt that it was getting more difficult to stop myself from moaning.Not to mention that the love of mg life is in the same room sitting next to me watching this. At one point to my surprise it actually happened to be really difficult to hold back a moan that I accidentally let a small one escape my lips.
P.o.v Amy
Rydel and I were watching dirty dancing and one scene came on that made me a bit horny. 'Apparently I'm not the only one here that's horny' I thought to myself as I heard a small moan escape Rydel's lips. With that I decided I would just ignore the movie and have a moment with Rydel, (if you know what I mean) I slowly began running my hand up and down her thigh. I could tell that she was enjoying it and that she wanted more. With that I straddled her and started grinding down. Both of our moans were getting louder to the extent that if someone were to walk in and come downstairs we probably wouldn't hear them. After that Rydel pushed me over so she was straddling me now and she began kissing and sucking at my neck leaving love bites all over it. We were both really enjoying it obviously. At this point we weren't paying attention to the movie at all. We were just... We you know... The next thing you know Rydel is slowly moving her lips from my neck to my lips with a trail of kisses. She kisses me passionately, breaks the kiss for a short second or two the get some air and then she smashes her lips back on mine but this time her tongue Is begging for entrance. I part my lips slightly allowing her tongue to enter my mouth. Our tongues intertwined causing both of us to moan uncontrollably. After about 5 minutes of just making out we all of a sudden started grinding on each other really hard as well. We were literally in the kind of state were you've been kinda pretty much going at it for like an hour but don't really have the will to stop.
P.o.v Ryland
Today after school I had texted a good friend of mine asking if he wanted to go downtown for a couple hours so that's what we did. After we got bored we both decided to go back to our houses. I got in my mom's car because I don't have my own car considering I just got my G2 like two weeks ago. Anyways I got in the car and headed home. On the way home I did what the typical teenager who just recently got their G2 would do. I blasted music. The song I was listening to right now was pretty epic. It was the UKF DUB STEP TUTORIAL. That song is literally just pure awesomeness. My favourite part of it is when it says "and if you really want to scare the shit out of your viewers" and then there's this really sick bass drop. Anyways... After that song was over I pulled up to the house. I parked the car and got out. I walked into the house and got a snack because that's what teenagers do. They eat. I grabbed a quick little snack out of the fridge and ate it. After I finished eating I kinda thought I heard something from downstairs. The first time I heard it I just chose to ignore it but then I heard it again. This time I had a feeling that I wasn't just hearing things. As I got closer to the stairs that led to the basement I realized that what I was hearing was moans. I know I was only planning to just find out what the sound was but now my inner pervert is just like "let's go see what's going on down there anyways!" At this point I literally couldn't stop myself. I got downstairs and what I saw was kind of disturbing but I was totally turned on by it at the same time. I was trying so hard to get rid of my growing erection but that was next to impossible like honestly what straight guy actually even has the capability to stand there and witness a girl on girl make out session and not get a hard on. After a good minute or two of just watching them go at it I awkwardly cleared my throat. With that they both looked at me and all I could think to say was "what the fuck did I just see?"
0 notes
Text
Keep your Enemies Closer (Chapter 4)
P.o.v Ryland
God! Now I know how she feels. There I was believing things that I had just assumed. I honestly didn't think amy was gay. Let alone for my only sister. I heard a muffled voice. All of a sudden I realized I was zoned out. I came back to reality and said "sorry can you say that again I just kinda zoned out. "I asked you if you were ok" she said. That's when I got kinda quiet "yeah I'm fine" I mumbled. She looked at me as if she knew just like that, that I was lying. I know she's only known me for a few hours but damn could she ever read me like a book. "I know you aren't fine" she said with a tone that showed she was well aware of the situation. "I know that you like me" she said. That hit me hard. I know exactly what's coming next which makes that hurt just that much more, not to mention she loves my sister. "Is it really that obvious?" I asked hoping the answer would be no. "Yeah it is" she replied. "See I know you like me and I feel really bad for having to say this because I know you will definitely feel the way I do but I only think of you as a friend. Nothing more and you are just going to have to accept that. I'm sorry" she said that looking really sad. As she finished what she was saying she got up and began to walk away. Before she could actually walk away though I grabbed her wrist and said "are you ok?" She walked back and sat back down next to me again. "Yeah..." She said choking up. "I know you're not" I said imitating earlier in our conversation.
P.o.v Amy
"I know you're not" he said clearly imitating a previous part in our conversation. "ok fine" I said breaking down and admitting the obvious. "Do you happen to know by chance if there is anything going on between Rydel and Ellington?" I asked hoping his answer would be no. "No there isn't" he began "Ellington is just known to be a total flirt" he added. I feel as if he's wrong but I just pray to god that he's right. After that we walked back to go finish the movie with the others. Thanks to Ryland I made it through the movie at least without breaking down again. It was kind of hard to keep myself from crying but somehow I managed. After the movie it was really late. It was so late that there was not much point in Ellington going home so he decided he was going to sleep over as well. 'Great! Just great!' The little voice in my head said sarcastically. The sleeping arrangements were almost the same as if Ellington and I weren't there. Ellington was in the spare bedroom, I stayed in Rydel's room, Ryland and Ross were in their room, and Riker and Rocky were in their room. Rydel and I actually stayed up a bit and talked and throughout the conversation it was kind of as if she was hinting towards something. I don't know what it is though.
P.o.v Rydel
After the movie e all said good night to each other and headed off into our separate rooms so we could finally go to sleep. even though everyone else had decided to go to sleep, Amy and i decided to stay up for a bit and talk. The topic in which we were talking about kind of made me think she was hinting something but i don't exactly know why. be completely honest im not exactly the brightest of the bunch so if there is actually something big and obvious that im not pulling from our topic of conversation then i guess its somewhat understandable. through the night we taslked about absolutely anything that came to our minds from animals, to why we think tomatoes should be considered a vegetable. All of a sudden were changing topics like crazy until one topic really caught my attention. she brought up the most typical and cliche topic talked about amongst teen girls, and that topic was attractive boys. at one point she asked me if i liked anyone. of course i said yes, and of course she just had to ask who. i know i have been denying it like crazy but i am in love with Amy Michael. "i don't know if im ready to tell you quite yet." i said nervously. of course her not knowing about my feelings for her she said "come on it cant be that embarrassing... is it Ellington?" looked at her like she was crazy. "no no oh god no we are just really good friends" i replied. well i guess if shes gonna be thinking that way i should kinda say something. "ok so if its not Ellington then who is it?" she asked eagerly. "well if you really want to know there is one thing you should know first."
P.o.v Amy
"well if you really want to know there is one thing you should know first." she began. i gave her an eager nod to tell her to continue. "im bisexual" she said with a worried look on her face clearly hoping i wouldn't judge her. "its nothing to be ashamed of." i began to tell her. "you just need to learn to embrace your difference" i continued. "awww thanks for understanding" she said while hugging me. "but do you mind me asking who you like?" i said. "shes this amazing girl i started talking to recently" she began. "shes sweet, kind, funny, and caring, and she has the nicest blue eyes..." i was listening to what Rydel was saying secretly thinking she was referring to me this whole time when all of a sudden i felt her lips crush up against mine.
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
karenfordonte
Caring For Donte
sibbi
somme de nous
kikipratam4
𝐼𝓃𝓈𝓉𝒶𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓂 : @𝒦𝒾𝓀𝒾_𝓅
puna-nezuki
PUWAPUNA
daily-broken-vessel
drank a lot of sunny d