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#happy ducking sunday
kookstempo · 2 years
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let’s just keep listening to “what do you think” and not sob over the bullet points.
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mooztoonz · 1 month
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Hope everyone has a Happy Easter Sunday!
Enjoy these classic rabbit & bird characters from childhood! Who's your favorite?
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dawnthefluffyduck · 6 months
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二週間前の日曜日のアヒル
(sermon notes will be added later today! I just like these little guys and wanted to share them)
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omtai · 1 year
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after being off for 4 days and having to go to work tomorrow genuinely fills me with dread (rant in tags ignore it i just wanna bitch)
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dansnaturepictures · 11 months
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21/05/2023-Pennington and home 
Photos taken in this set are of: 1, 3, 5, 9 and 10. Beautiful views on this fine day at Pennington with lovely clear views over to the Isle of Wight. 2. Beautiful flowers in a hanging basket out the back. 4. Greenfinch it was nice to see at Pennington, I’ve had a good run for them recently. 6. Another one I’m on a good run for, a Whitethroat which it was a delight to see and hear melodiously warbling well here today too. 7. Great Crested Grebes, two of a fairly large group of them just offshore that were doing the courtship dance which was great to see. 8. The bird we came here in the hope of seeing, a distinctive and extremely aesthetically pleasing drake Garganey. I was so amazed to spot this bird, one that I do really admire and one I was so hoping to see this year. I hadn’t seen a full plumage drake for a few years either. This as well as the Hobby at Fishlake Meadows earlier was another fantastic bird I relished seeing today and adding to my year, my year list now up to 202. 
Stars of a very strong supporting cast of species today for the Pennington walk were excellent views of Little Tern again lately in the air and on an island on fishtail lagoon, Gadwall including a wonderful moment when a male dwarfed the Garganey when swimming towards it a great moment for comparison, Shoveler, Shelduck, Eider, Avocets including hearing them make some interesting protective shrieking noises with them nesting which was good to observe Tufted Duck made an interesting noise too, Lapwing, Raven, Swift, a lovely Reed Warbler view, Stonechat, Small Tortoiseshell, Small Heath with another Cuckoo today, beautifully singing Skylark and Cetti’s Warbler heard. A drift of thrift on the sea wall, daisies carpeting the grass, water dropwort painting the landscape in places well, vetch and bird’s-foot trefoil including mixing nicely, mouse-ear chickweed, bits of in flower gorse and either white or sea campion I couldn’t quite tell as we walked quite quickly past were good flowers to see at Pennington. It was good to see my first chamomile of the year on the way here near home and a Blue-tailed Damselfly near our garage when home. Goldfinch, House Sparrow and Woodpigeon were good to see at home. A phenomenal weekend of wildlife watching.
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kitchen-spoon · 3 months
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Steddie where Eddie moves into a small house in a retirement mobile home park. He is the youngest guy there and is pretty handy. All the old ladies in the neighbourhood start to talk about him when he begins to offer his handyman skills to them as well.
One day after finishing up winterizing Mrs. Harrington’s water supply to her trailer she invites Eddie inside for some tea to warm up. Winter hadn’t hit yet but it was already nippy out she told him. Once inside she invites him to come over Sunday night to join her and her friends ‘book club’. At first Eddie politely declines but once she explains to him that its all the old ladies in the neighbourhood sitting around drinking wine, smoking joints, and gossiping he’s in.
Enter Steve who visits his grandma every Sunday for dinner and sometimes stays for her gossip sessions with all the other bitties in the neighbourhood because the snacks are always great. Steve is surprised that week when the door bell rings and a hot long haired pierced man covered in tattoos is standing there instead of another old woman handing him her coat and cane. Steve sputters for a moment but then his grandmother is coming up behind him explaining this is the young man who fixed her water supply for her.
“Well um, thank you for that.” Steve nods awkwardly, watching over his shoulder as his grandmother waddled away back to her friends. “You didn’t have to come though, sorry if she twisted your arm about it, she’s stubborn.” He rubbed at the back of his neck with a small chuckle.
“It’s okay I really don’t mind.” Eddie smiled easily, inching his way into the house and Steve’s personal space. “Smoking weed with a bunch of old ladies and gossiping about my new neighbours sounds like a great way for me to spend my Sunday.” He winked.
“I- yeah it is pretty fun.” Steve agreed having not moved at all. “The snacks are always great too, you’ll have to try Betty’s blondie cake it’s always my favourite.” Steve leaned in to whisper conspiratorially.
Eddie beamed back at him, eyes roving all over Steve’s face before pausing at his lips for a second then darting back up to his eyes. “Lead the way then big boy.” Eddie bit his lip at how red Steve’s face got, he decided to push it slipping his hand into Steve’s.
“Yeah- uh sure yeah.” Steve nodded dumbly staring at their connected hands for a moment before snapping out of it and tugging Eddie along. “Everything is set up in the living room, I just got the fire going to so it should be warm.”
By the end of the night Eddie and Steve were melted into one another on a small single seater in the corner of the room. They watched as all the ladies gathered their coats one by one as their husbands came to collect them.
“It’s sweet.” Steve sighed unprompted, his head lolled against Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie made a questioning noise so he continued. “Seeing their husbands come walk them back home at the end of the night. They aren’t annoyed that their wives are giggly and a bit wobbly they are just happy they are happy and want to be there to take care of them.”
“You are a sappy stoner Steve.” Eddie teased, he moved his hand over and dropped it onto Steve’s thigh giving it a squeeze. “Can’t say I blame you though, it is very cute to see.” Eddie sighed before unsticking himself from Steve’s side and making his way to the door himself. “I better get going, no husband to come walk me home”. He blushed at the implication of his own words.
“I’ll be your husband.” Steve blurted then immediately turned red. “I mean- I meant that I uhum-“
“You can walk me home Steve.” Eddie smiled wide and teasingly. He looked his arm through Steve’s and tugged him through the door, waving goodbye to Mrs.Harrington with a promise to be back next week.
The walk was short considering Eddie was only 2 houses down and one across. They kept their arms looped the entire 3 minutes they walked, and once they reached the door Steve still hadn’t let go.
“Well goodnight.” Steve spoke first, ducking his head away. He took a deep breath then looked back to Eddie determination on his face when he spoke. “See you next week?”
Eddie smiled but shook his head, “I was hoping sooner, how does Wednesday sound?” He moved in closer his hand sliding down to Steve’s waist.
“Wednesday is great I love Wednesday.” Steve nodded frantically then cringed. “I mean I don’t actually love all Wednesday’s just this one because we are-“
Eddie cut his rambling off with a kiss. He leaned in and connected their lips, his free hand coming up to cradle the back of Steve’s head.
Steve melted into the kiss, his body going lax in Eddie’s hold, “Thanks for saving me from embarrassing myself further.”
“Anytime sweetheart.”
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chronicowboy · 23 days
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His breakup with Marisol is about as unremarkable as the rest of their relationship. There's no catastrophic muffin mess in his kitchen or divorce papers. Just a quiet I don't think this is working out, I'm sorry. Marisol hadn't even cried. She'd just nodded like she'd been waiting for it and left, didn't even need to grab anything from the house before she went and really that just reassured Eddie that this was the right choice.
So, his breakup with Marisol is unremarkable, except that it's not. It's pretty fucking remarkable when he thinks about it because it's not just that they weren't working out, not just that he really didn't care about spending time with her, not just the clench in his gut every time she touched him. No. It's pretty fucking remarkable because he realises he's in love with his best friend.
That's what pushes him over the edge, gives him the last kick he needs to actually break things off with her. Because Eddie may have sworn himself to secrecy about it the moment he realised, but he could never string someone along just because he couldn't have the real someone he wanted.
It's a fucking revelation once he has it. Not a ton of bricks, but the sun peeking out from behind the clouds on the greyest of days, bright and blinding. And the way Eddie has always thought of Buck in terms of sunshine maybe should have tipped him off sooner, but with the way Buck has been beaming over the past few weeks. Well. Eddie doesn't really think he can be blamed for only just taking his sunglasses off and daring to look directly at the light.
And, okay, so Eddie maybe makes it a full week before he decides his self-sworn secrecy absolutely is not a viable option when Buck walks through life now like a drop of sunshine in human form. It's after Buck leaves the Diaz house, walking out from a day of giggles and joy at the go-kart track they'd finally managed to convince Chris to be seen with them at, leaving behind a cosy heat like sun-warmed skin, that Eddie realises he cannot go another day without telling Buck that he's desperately, deeply in love with him.
And so, that's how Eddie finds himself at Buck's door on a random Sunday morning, knocking for the first time since Natalia waltzed out of the picture. Buck opens it a few moments later looking perfectly sleep-rumpled and soft and downright golden where he's backlit by the early morning sunlight pooling in the loft.
"Eddie," Buck breathes out, eyes darting up the stairs before refocusing on Eddie and what must be the most hopelessly lovesick expression painted across his face. "H-hey, what are you doing here?"
"I, um." Eddie takes a deep breath, suddenly nervous, and wipes his clammy palms on his jeans. "I wanted to talk to you about something. Now a good time?" And Buck must hear the slightly shaky steel in his voice because the surprise on his face morphs into a concern so quintessentially Buck that Eddie just wants to kiss it away.
"Y-yeah, of course, come on in." Buck holds the door open for him, and Eddie migrates to the fridge as Buck closes the door with the gentlest touch. "So, um, what's up?"
"I..." Eddie swallows against the heart in his throat, loses himself in the shining blue of Buck's eyes like an ocean he'd be more than happy to drown in. "I broke up with Marisol last week."
"Oh, Eddie." Buck slumps, and Eddie tries not to think that it looks a little like relief. "I'm so sorry, man. That sucks."
"No, no." Eddie waves him off with a laugh. "It's good. Was a long time coming actually." He shakes his head at himself. "I think I was dating her just to tick a box, you know? Realised you probably shouldn't be more excited about a phone call from your new buddy than one from your kinda long-term girlfriend. You definitely shouldn't be relieved when you see your best friend in the restaurant you're taking her to and disappointed when you realise he's just leaving."
And then, Buck blushes, ducks his head, does that little smile that could light up every house on South Bedford Street just like Eddie had been hoping for.
"Yeah." Buck looks up at him from under his lashes. "Probably not."
It bolsters Eddie. Buck's sunshine giving him that one last push he needs.
"There was something else I wanted to say," Eddie starts. And there isn't really any fear in him, knows they'll make it through this no matter what, just an overwhelming sense of peace to come. "I..." A deep breath, gathering all his love and devotion in his lungs so it's ready to pour out on his next inhale and—
A groan from upstairs has the words dying in his throat. A masculine groan. And then:
"Evan?"
"D-down here," Buck calls back.
Eddie can't take his eyes off the loft, stuck there like a car crash he can't look away from as a very shirtless Tommy Kinard appears at the top of the stairs and quickly blanches.
"Shit. Um..." He looks down at Buck in a panic.
Eddie finally manages to drag his eyes away from the very chiselled curveball that just hit him at a hundred miles per hour and finds Buck's face. Small, scared, shaken. He knows the feeling. And because he loves Buck, because of just how deeply he loves Buck, it's the easiest thing in the world to lock that love away and let his face crack into the most genuine of grins. Because if Tommy's been the thing making Buck shine like every fucking star in the sky, well Eddie will absolutely not be getting between them.
"You've been so happy," Eddie chokes out, still smiling.
"I have," Buck whispers.
"And I'm so happy for you." Eddie covers the distance between them in three long strides and pulls Buck into a hug so tight and clinging he's sure it's a confession in and of itself, but Buck only buries in deeper, taking shaky little breaths in the crook of Eddie's neck.
"Thank you," Buck murmurs into his skin. Eddie squeezes his eyes shut against the sudden rush of tears.
"Sorry you didn't get to tell me on your own terms," he murmurs back, letting Buck pull away, but lingering with a hand on his hip, on his shoulder. He should maybe be worried about what this could look like to Tommy who had basically never heard anything apart from rambles about Buck, except when he glances up the stairs, Tommy is nowhere to be seen.
"I was going to tell you," Buck rushes out. "I-I just wasn't sure how."
"That's okay," Eddie says. It's okay. It's okay. "Well, I'll stop gate-crashing for the... Second time?" He raises an eyebrow, and Buck flushes a pink Eddie will never ever get to taste. "Yeah, okay. That makes sense." He remembers the pure fear on Buck's face, the indecision on Tommy's and the sudden tightening of his own chest despite his smile. "I'll leave you guys to it." He clears his throat. "Kinard, if you hurt him, they'll never find your body," he shouts up the stairs.
"Copy that, Diaz," Tommy shouts back.
"I'm really proud of you, Buck." Eddie wraps him in another hug then, a quick thing, just one last touch before Eddie seals every desire away for good.
"Thanks, Eddie." Buck walks him to the door, eyes glistening with unshed tears, and Eddie wants to hug him again. Wants so badly it hurts. But if he hugs Buck again, he doesn't think he'll ever let go. "See you at work tomorrow."
"See you at work." Eddie prays Buck is too distracted to hear the wobble in his voice.
"Wait, sorry, what did you want to talk about?"
Eddie freezes on the threshold, the stutter of his heart painful like he's back in a suit store, and he catches himself on the doorframe with a shaking hand.
"It can wait."
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gay-dorito-dust · 27 days
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Can I request headcanons for Sunday, Welt, Gallagher, Blade, and Dan Heng react to his shy gn s/o asking to kiss him on his forehead in hopes that it would bring him the same love & comfort they felt whenever they received it?
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Sunday: his first reaction is; aww aren’t you just the most precious and adorable thing he’s ever seen.
He immeditly obeys your wish and presents you his forehead, where you planted a soft, tender kiss against.
He instantly relaxes beneath the featherlight touch of your lips against his forehead, smiling softly as he selfishly indulges himself in your presence and the way you managed to calm him without uttering a single word.
Your wish is his command in every sense of the word.
You’re probably the only person he’d gladly kneel before, but only in private though because he wasn’t fond of people staring at what was meant to be a special moment between two lovers.
And the fact that you weren’t fond of overcrowded places, regardless of whether they were staff members hired by The Family or just regular pedestrians who can’t go a single day without sticking their noses into things that don’t concern them.
So before anything happens Sunday makes sure to take you to your shared room for a much more private setting for the both of you.
After all this moment was meant for you two and you two alone.
So back to the moment you kissed his forehead, Sunday felt the weight of his responsibilities slip off his shoulders like water off a ducks back and he could even feel himself breath again now the weight was nonexistent; And you were to thank for making him feel that way.
You, sweet, kind, generous, you. Sunday’s own personal angel who makes him forget about his duty and make him feel alive again as you breathed new life into him with just a forehead kiss.
Welt: he would welcome the idea of you giving him a forehead kiss wholeheartedly.
He knows that it was nearly an impossible task for you to ask anything of him and he’s more then willing to let you go at your own pace, as he could clearly see that you didn’t expect to get this far.
‘You don’t have to do it if you don’t feel up to it just yet dearest.’ He says calmly as he places a comforting hand on yours. ‘There’s no time limit to do things under, so please take your time and remember to take deep breaths if needed.’ He adds.
He just wants you to feel comfortable and not feel pressured to do something that you weren’t comfortable with doing just yet. For it wasn’t fair on you in the slightest.
‘No. I want to do this, it’s just-‘ you then took a deep breath before refocusing yourself in the moment. ‘You know what I’m just going to kiss your forehead now. If that’s alright with you.’
Welt smiles. ‘It’s more than alright with me. Please continue.’
The moment your lips touched Welt’s forehead, he felt as though he were a young boy in love, everything he was feeling the longer your lips lingered were both indescribable and addicting.
He felt warm, he felt giddy, he felt excited but most of all he felt loved, cherished and really happy.
Nothing else existed in that moment but you two and that was fine by him because at the end of the day he would love nothing more than for it to be you whom he sees no matter what.
He often feels as though he wasn’t putting as much time in your relationship as he was with anything else but when you kissed his forehead, all of those worries he had yet to speak up upon faded away as he was reassured with the way you treated him as though he were priceless.
For he viewed you within the same point of view and was glad that feeling was reciprocated tenfold.
Gallagher; ‘Gallagher, can I-‘
‘Yes.’ He says with impeccable speed.
‘I-i haven’t even asked yet-‘
‘You don’t have to because my answer is yes little bird.’ He cuts you off once again with a wolfish smile before dragging you to sit on his lap as you rested your hands against his shoulders for stability when you kissed his forehead.
The feeling was incredibly fleeting for Gallagher as before he could fully enjoy the feeling of your lips against his skin, you pulled away, Gallagher was pouting like an overgrown child.
‘What?’ You said, thinking you’ve done something wrong.
‘It wasn’t long enough.’ He mutters and tugs you by the waist, causing you to be flushed against his chest. ‘What wasn’t?’ You asked, not understanding what he was getting at.
‘The forehead kiss.’ He clarified. ‘It wasn’t long enough for my liking so I want another.’ He adds, getting a lot of enjoyment from your wide eyed expression as he lifted your head to meet his eyes with a finger under your chin.
‘Don’t you have work to get back to? Won’t Sunday be mad?’ You questioned, knowing that the Halovian’s patience was wearing thin with Gallagher recently, and you didn’t want him getting into even more trouble just because he wanted more forehead kisses.
‘Who cares what that winged prick thinks little bird,’ Gallagher practically purrs, ‘I’m the one busting my ass. So I feel like I’m more than deserving of an extra five minutes to spend with a cutie like you in my lap, giving me a shit tone of forehead kisses.’ He adds.
And that’s exactly what you ended up doing for those extra five minutes.
Blade: ‘why?’ He asks bluntly.
You fiddled with your sleeve, a force of habit of yours that has stuck with you since as long as you could remember. ‘I just hope that it’ll bring you the same comfort and love I feel when you kiss my forehead.’ You admit sheepishly.
Blade knew the kind of guy he was and he wasn’t one that made people feel loved or comforted, if anything it was the complete opposite, but upon hearing you -sweet,shy and socially awkward you- admit that you feel love and comfort from a simple gesture he’s done once maybe twice.
Blade remained silent for a while before feeling himself begin to crumble under your patience gaze and muttered out a gruff. ‘Sure.’
The twinkle in your eyes and the tender smile across your lips melted his scarred heart, but the moment you gently held his face between your hands as though you were holding something worth admiring and pressed the sweetest kiss against his forehead, Blade felt himself practically become a puddle between your palms.
He hums in content as he closes his eyes and lets the love and comfort you claimed he gave you, spread throughout his body, from the bottom of his feet to the tips of his ears. He could feel your love for him encase him in a protective, warm embrace and Blade couldn’t help but selfishly wish to stay here in this position for the rest of your lives.
However you pulled away and Blade noticed how much colder he felt without your touch as he catches his breath, it almost as though he was plunged into an icy cold bath with the way his muscles became frigid and taut.
He had got a mere taste of your affection and now he craved it more than anything.
Dan Heng; knew how hard it was for you to ask for anything of him, despite him countlessly reminding you that he was more then willing to fulfil your wants and needs the best he could.
So when you managed to muster the strength and asked to kiss his forehead, he felt his cheeks become aflame but lets you do so anyways as he casts his gaze elsewhere, praying that you don’t hear how fast his heart was going.
He purrs. I repeat, he purrs the moment your lips touched his forehead as his inner dragon noodle was bursting with happiness upon receiving your affection. It wasn’t something that happened often but when it did, it was always something that never failed to make you smile and him slightly embarrassed at how easily you affected.
He’s just unsure how to voice his liking for your affection without it coming across as awkward or forced. He’s not a man of words when it comes to you as you often left him speechless and unable to think about anything that wasn’t the feeling of your plush, slightly cracked, lips pressed against his forehead.
In that moment all he could think about was you and how despite your differences, you two couldn’t have been a better match for one another.
It was during tender moments like these did Dan Heng want to cling onto forever for they reminded him that he has someone who was worth everything to him.
Someone who loved him regardless of who he was in the past. Your love knew no bounds and Dan Heng could feel every ounce of that within a simple thing as a forehead kiss.
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astonmartinii · 8 months
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loving on a sunday | lando norris social media au
pairing: lando norris x reader
y/n and lando, the grid and an honest attempt at a sunday roast
masterlist if you want to leave a tip x
yourusername
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yourusername: warning !! do not own a nice country house and farm because you will get lumped with the annual post season grid dinner, SEB PLEASE COME BACK I CAN"T TAKE THIS RESPONSIBILITY @landonorris what are you going to do when they find out you can't cook?
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user1: learning that lando can't cook is the least surprising thing in the entire world
user2: i'm sorry post season grid dinner? brb just going to cry my eyes out why haven't we heard of this before
user3: for my mental health i need photographic evidence asap
landonorris: way to bait me out in front of the whole world, thanks babe
yourusername: i'm sorry but if this crashes and burns i need people to know that it was your fault (because it defo would be)
landonorris: where is the faith? you back me to win every race but won't back me to make some roast potatoes :(
yourusername: babe when i was sick you burnt the soup so bad we had to throw the pan out
landonorris: I TRIED I WAS STRESSED YOU WERE SICK
yourusername: awwww babe, but it was le crueset and literally cost more than my life
sebastianvettel: it's been an honour to host it but i know you and lando will do great, send me all the photos !
yourusername: thank you seb, please come visit the farm at some point xx
landonorris: see i knew seb would have faith in me thanks mate
user4: lando's gf being a farm girl makes so much sense but also no sense what so ever
yourusername: tis the south west babe it's either banksy or farmers and nothing in between
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landonorris
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liked by maxfewtrell, yourusername and 1,023,677 others
tagged: yourusername
landonorris: should be peeling potatoes right now she's too pretty
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user10: oh to be a kitty cat being cuddled by y/n
yourusername: you're such a smooth talker babe but those potatoes won't peel themselves
landonorris: my years of being teammates with carlos has come in clutch
yourusername: you still suck at flirting i just love you so i still swoon, any other person would probably laugh in your face
landonorris: gonna ignore the insult and focus on the fact that you love me
user11: i swear every time i see y/n she's with another animal i've never seen before
yourusername: my farm is a safe haven for any animal, if they find themselves there they'll leave with a full tummy and a good load of cuddles
maxverstappen1: if lando is on potato duty does this mean we won't get them? they're my favourite part of a roast y/n PLEASE STEP IN
landonorris: oh wow i see how it is
maxverstappen1: i'm dutch i'm so serious about my potatoes
landonorris: i also don't fuck around about roast potatoes HAVE FAITH
user12: can we start a petition for lando to stream this? like at least the cooking portion
yourusername: watching my nervous breakdown live would not be ethical
landonorris: it's true she threw a carrot at my head the first time she cooked for my family
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oscarpiastri
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tagged: yourusername, landonorris
oscarpiastri: officially a farm boy for the week (also known as third wheeling for seven days)
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user15: omg oscar went early? my mclaren heart is so full
yourusername: so so happy to have you here osc!! though you're not any more trustworthy in the kitchen
oscarpiastri: i'd defend myself but we've all seen me fail to boil an egg
yourusername: you tried your best !! but you've mastered the english tea which is a massive asset
oscarpiastri: i think i'd lose my seat if i couldn't make a cup of tea
user16: obsessed with y/n dragging everyone for being menaces in the kitchen
user17: love how oscar was like: post lando? no. post ducks? yes.
landonorris: mate you asked to come early don't complain about third wheeling now
oscarpiastri: i know i asked to come early but if y'all could lay off the soft porn for two seconds would be appreciated
landonorris: don't pretend you don't enjoy it mate ;)
yourusername: lando don't be mean :(
landonorris: i'm sorry oscar, i'm sure you don't enjoy watching us be happy
oscarpiastri: thanks i guess?
charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc: sad to announce i've been banned from the kitchen:( even banned from making drinks as well
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user18: this is defo the banning i agree with, we all saw the vlog with the pesto pasta
user19: tbf i've come to the conclusion the one person y/n would let into the kitchen is seb
yourusername: you're not wrong
user20: i need a chick in my dungarees right now
yourusername: why are you complaining about a free pass to sit on the couch and have someone else cook for you?
charles_leclerc: well when you put it like that ....
landonorris: let me revoke all of my previous complaints
yourusername: you know i like to treat you baby
charles_leclerc: why thank you y/n but that's an inappropriate thing to say while in a relationship
yourusername: it was in reply to lando's comment charles 😭
landonorris: guy forgot he could read for a second
charles_leclerc: MY BAD
user21: i know charles didn't come to a farm in all white
yourusername: i regret to inform you he did (it's all designer as well)
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yourusername
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tagged: landonorris
yourusername: sunday roasts are my love language, so happy to host the grid dinner with the love of my life
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user23: at first i thought she was being a bit too serious about this but that roast looks like it BANGS
user24: legit i need one asap
georgerussell63: carmen wants the recipe please and thank you
yourusername: bring her to the farm next time we're free and i'll teach her in person
carmenmundt: thank you darling
yourusername: anything for you
landonorris: ummm what about the guy you called the love of your life in the caption?
yourusername: i love you but i've tried to teach you to cook way too many times
user25: i'm sorry lando is so sexy
user26: forget lando, every pic i've seen of this house is the sexiest thing in the world
carlossainz55: thank you for hosting y/n and lando!! i had a great time see you on new years
yourusername: no worries chilli
maxverstappen1: the roast was the best thing i've ever eaten, i'll only dock points because i had to top and tail with daniel
yourusername: i didn't see you complain when i walked in on you guys cuddling
danielricciardo: you told me you loved it :(
maxverstappen1: i did !!! i enjoyed all of it, especially the roast though
landonorris: second to a roast @danielricciardo that's tough
landonorris
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landonorris: so honoured to host the grid dinner and take over from such an inspiration in seb!! but mostly thanks to y/n for hosting at her farm and putting together an amazing dinner and weekend - also thanks for not killing the grid, i defo would have
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user27: i would've given a kidney to be there for real
lewishamilton: thank you for having us and for the sick nut roast
yourusername: we love you and roscoe !! and vegans are always welcome on my farm
user28: ROSCOE WENT?
yukitsunoda0511: thank you y/n i no longer think that english food is an abomination
yourusername: wow thank you yuki, i knew it would be hard when your only exposure was ... milton keynes
landonorris: wow my girlfriend is a miracle worker, and you're welcome yuki san we loved having you
user29: watching lando go from rookie to hosting the grid dinner, i'm soft
oscarpiastri: i love it here i'm sorry you're not getting rid of me
yourusername: no worries osc, you can stay as long as you want
landonorris: no complaining about third wheeling though, you're basically our child now
user30: experienced racer and rookie teammate friendships are so special to ME
danielricciardo: glad i managed to get my seat back just for this roast tbf
landonorris: not cause you missed me?
danielricciardo: eh i guess so
yourusername: just let me know when you're in england and you can come over for another
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covetyou · 1 month
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egg hunt
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ao3 ⋆ main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist
pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader rating: Explicit (18+ only!) warnings: oral sex (m! receiving), balls, questionable use of sex toys, semi-public blowjobs, eggs, Joel is a giant bunny, feelings, misunderstandings leading to angst. word count: 5.9k summary: Catching Joel dressed as a giant rabbit in your backyard wasn't on your bingo card for things to happen to you this year. But, what waits for you beneath the bunny suit, and in his basket, aren't the only surprises you'll have tonight.
A/N: truth be told I find eggs genuinely, criminally funny in every possible way, as well as disgusting, so happy Easter!
These egg things are hilarious, but also not nearly as fun as they seem, though if I'd had the genius idea to stick 'em on some balls I imagine I would've had a much better time tbh.
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You almost don't notice, too busy shoving your cup harshly against the ice dispenser before taking a long, deep, gulp of the cold liquid. But then you see it, and it's not the shock of cold to your esophagus that makes your eyes widen, spluttering icy water before sucking in a desperate breath.
No. It's the ghostly white figure rummaging around in your backyard on all fours.
You duck down just as it stands, holding on tightly to the counter edge with both hands, before crawling to the backdoor to check it's locked, keeping you safely inside away from whatever this thing was. But, just as you reach for the latch, the creature stands on two legs, stretching back with two thick arms on its waist.
The figure is broad, and tall, and... dressed in what appears to be a giant bunny onesie. Even with it's head covered in a white hood, bunny ears flapping as the creature bends and moves, you know what it is. Who it is. You'd recognize those shoulders just about anywhere, and no one else would pull something like this at 9pm on a Sunday.
It had been weeks since you last saw him, but you can't say that was a surprise - what you had wasn't exactly a regular thing, if it could be called a thing at all. That doesn't mean you hadn't been hoping for it, counting down the days to the next holiday in hopes you'd see him again - There was no denying your disappointment St. Patrick's day came and went with no sign of a leprechaun and a pot of gold. Now, he was finally here, dressed head to toe in a bunny suit, doing fuck knows what to your lawn.
"The fucker..."
Unlocking the door, you slink out into the night, sliding it closed behind you before creeping across the yard. This was new, getting to be the one to surprise him. He may have been in your yard, but with each soft step of your foot on the grass it looked like you were finally going to one up him.
But then he turns around, looking toward the house and seemingly straight through you for a moment...
Before his eyes focus on you in the dark, and everything in his hands goes tumbling to the ground as he practically leaps out of his bunny suit.
"Jesus fuckin' Christ."
"We've got to stop meeting like this," you say watching Joel's giant bunny ears flap in the air with his movement as he bends, reaching down to the grass to pick up the basket he dropped.
"You half scared the shit outta me, what're you doin' out here?" he grumbles as he rights himself.
"What are you doing out here? It's my yard. You Bunny Joel this time?" you joke, crossing your arms over your chest in a not-so-smooth attempt to cover yourself. Getting properly dressed had been the last thing on your mind when you stumbled down the stairs, legs still jelly and head still fuzzy from post-orgasm bliss. The only thought that registered was how damn thirsty you were as you tugged a worn, old shirt over your head and made your way to the kitchen. It wasn't cool enough to blame the temperature shift on your quickly puckering nipples, and you didn't feel like explaining where your panties were or why your thighs were simultaneously sticky and slippery. You're just grateful you put on anything at all, and at the very least it was long enough to cover your ass.
Joel smirks, your fruitless attempt at modesty not going unnoticed. "Ain't no regular bunny, darlin'. I'm the Easter Bunny."
"And the difference is...?"
"Eggs."
You laugh, folding yourself over a little as you giggle into the night. The whole get up really is ridiculous enough on its own, yet here you are discussing the nuances of being a giant bunny with a man more fond of playing dress up than anyone else you'd ever met.
"Eggs?"
You spot them as soon as the word leaves your mouth - four colorful eggs sat neatly in his basket, and another nestled into your flowerbed. Only, they don't look like normal eggs at all. Squinting in the dark, the yard lit only by shitty solar lights you'd bought online last summer, you can make out the neat patterns swirled all over them. This was not the handiwork of some enthusiastic child dying eggs for Easter - they looked professionally painted. Joel shakes the basket at you as you continue to squint at it, and you realise not a single one has cracked or broken, even after being dropped on the floor.
"What are they? Egg shaped bouncy balls?"
"Got some balls right here if you're really that interested," he jokes, looking obscene as he waggles his eyebrows at you beneath the hood of the bunny onesie. "Here, they're just these... things. My brother got 'em for me as a joke, it's a long story."
He passes you one of the eggs, the surface smooth and cool in your hand. There's writing on it that you can just about make out, but you still have no clue what you're holding as you turn it around in your palm.
Sensing your confusion, Joel offers a choice gesture, as he explains that they're for "Y'know."
It clicks. Well, sort of. You know for sure then that they're not something you could sneak away for some solo playtime, like with the plug he dutifully left on by your bedside so many weeks ago but maybe, like the contraptions Joel had strapped over his balls your last two encounters, you could enjoy them together.
"Wait, so... you're giving me a thing for anatomy I don't even have?"
"No it's not like that, I just thought - I, well, shit."
"I'm just fuckin' with you, Bunny Joel. Though giving me a gift that's really a gift for yourself is a bit of a dick move."
"Ain't a dick move if you like 'em, sweetheart. And it's Easter Bunny Joel," he corrects with a wink, smiling at you as he drops the basket on the ground to pull at his neck tie. The man looks good in pink, you think, as he fiddles with the floppy satin.
"Y'know, Easter Bunny Joel doesn't quite roll off the tongue."
"Don't it?"
"Nope," you say with a pop, pinching the material of Joel's Bunny onesie to feel the fabric between your finger tips as your roll the egg across the palm of your other hand. "Think you need a better name than that."
"Okay, I'll bite. What you got in mind?"
You're walking your fingers down his chest now, dancing them in a criss-cross pattern across the fastenings at the front of the suit until you reach his hip and slowly you drag the tips of your fingers closer to his crotch until you're cupping his bulge. You wouldn't say he's entirely flaccid, there's certainly something there, but the length of him still feels pliable beneath your hand as you stroke over the front of his costume.
"I was thinking... Flopsy," you say with a squeeze of your palm against his cock, biting back a laugh when you hear him hiss a breath of night air through his teeth.
"Real funny."
"What? If you're committed to the bit, I can be too," and before he can protest you slip the fingers of your free hand between the fastenings on the front of his suit. You can feel his skin underneath, hot and sticky, trapped beneath the synthetic fabric of the bunny costume. At the very least, he's topless under there, and eager to find out more, you quickly yank at the front, grinning devilishly at Joel as the fabric pops open slightly.
"You really wanna be gettin' into this out here?"
"You scared, Flopsy?" you say, with another squeeze to his now much harder cock. "That side is up for sale, and Janet is out of town until Tuesday. No one's seeing anything. Unless you're scared someone might hear something... but I guess you'll just have to keep quiet."
"F- you're gonna be the death of me, darlin'," he mutters, pulling at his pink tie so it hangs loosely around his neck, giving him better movement to look down at your hand where it strokes his cock over the soft plush of the rabbit costume.
You tug again at the suit and with a rapid pop pop pop, the remaining fastenings hiding his chest from you pull open, revealing him to you and... he's a mess. From the neck down he's covered in streaks of paint, multicolored blooms splattered across him, dusting his ribs like a rainbow of bruises.
"Kid had some powder paint stuff - y'know that festival of color thing? Well, kid had some left after a party with a friend from school... had a little fight in the yard earlier before I dropped her back with her mom for the week," he explains quickly, rubbing a hand nervously against his chest and smearing the splattered rainbow there. You make a mental note, adding has a kid to the very short list of confirmed facts you know about Joel. It's not exactly a surprise revelation, all things considered - the costumes had to come from somewhere, and most grown men don't just have fairy wings and toy bows and arrows lying around.
"Well, Flopsy, you make a mighty fine canvas, but I think I might need a hand with this."
The egg you'd been turning in your hand is deposited back into his grasp just as you tug him forward giving him a peck on the chin as you look at him expectantly. Joel knows he shouldn't pull you toward him and kiss you out here, he thinks he knows that the expectant look is nothing to do with kissing him and everything to do with the egg in his hand, but he does anyway. Slotting his mouth against yours, he pulls you into his chest, the sweat of his skin transfering blotches of paint from his chest to your old shirt. But you don't care, holding yourself tighter to him, pushing your fingers underneath his hood to card them through his hair. Joel groans into your mouth when your fingertips rub at his scalp. You're in half a mind to call him such a good bunny but the air, and the thought, is knocked out of you the next second when he presses a hand against your ass, pulling you further into him so he can grind his hardened length against your lower belly.
It's been far too long since someone held you against them like this, and far too long since Joel had had someone like you in his arms. As he kisses and kisses you, you're starting to feel more and more insane, and maybe you are - maybe accepting this man into your home with such regularity is the mark of insanity, some kind of as-of-yet undiscovered syndrome that's going to be named after you.
Eventually, you muster the strength to pull away, slapping a hand gently to his chest and nodding down to the egg gripped in his fist. You're eager to see it in action, even if you still can't quite picture what it is.
"C'mon, open it for me. Gotta properly thank the Easter Bunny for bringing me Easter eggs."
Joel slips the wrapper of the egg, something you never could've figured out on your own without decent lighting to guide your way, and presses a thumb into the side of it, popping the top off the egg in one smooth movement.
Before he can hand it to you, you slip down to your knees, bare shins resting against the cool, damp grass. It's a beautiful clear night, not trace of the moon in sight just yet, but the glimmer of stars sparkling relentlessly overhead regardless. You hadn't noticed how hot you'd gotten, but being around Joel always seemed to do this to you. Your cheeks felt hot, your heart beat faster, and your head felt slightly dizzy - the result of it emptying itself of all thoughts except the ones that made you make questionable decisions it seemed. Of course, this time the heat wasn't just from proximity, but from that damned fabric of his costume, the synthetic fibers making you feel sweaty as you held onto him. The grass beneath you is a welcome relief against your warm skin, sending the fine hairs on your body prickling at the sensation.
"This how you say thank you to everyone? On your knees?"
"It's how I say thank you to giant bunnies, Joel," you quip back, pressing a kiss to the softness of his belly. You litter a string of kisses down the trail of hair until you reach the boundary of the bunny suit. Whether he's commando or you have another layer to get through, you don't yet know, but you waste no time finding out. With the hook of your finger and a final swift pull, the last fastenings bursts open, revealing Joel's heavy length straining against the front of his boxers. Where his tip tents the fabric, a darker patch blooms, turning the gray practically black with precum.
In your dreams, and there had been many of them, it didn't go like this. Dream you rarely went three rounds with themselves before Joel popped up to come fuck her brains out. Dream you was clever. And, as good as your solo session this evening was, you can't help but have a little regret for ruining yourself before the surprise main event. It was like eating a big meal right before someone suggested getting pizza. You could (and damn well would) eat pizza, but you couldn't enjoy it the same way. Pizza or Joel, you were going to savor it as best you could.
"Such a tease, Flopsy," you murmur as you kiss across his covered cock, nuzzling your face into it and watching in glee as his hand grips the opened egg that little bit tighter. Your fingers are pulling again, this time tugging down at his waistband. Joel is in half a mind to rid the egg of its shell and use the damn thing as a stress ball. It had been too long since last time, and since he last came two fucking days ago, to be seeing you on your knees for him in that flimsy t-shirt. It felt like a gift from the heavens and divine retribution wrapped up in one you shaped package.
As you pull his cock from the confines of his boxers, feeling the deep pulse of the blood in his veins as you wrap your fingers around him, you can't believe your luck at getting to see it in the flesh again. As brilliantly as your mind can concoct the image of it, the reality of it is so much better than any fantasy. Before you let yourself get lost in it, you reach for Joel's hand, grabbing the egg back from him and watching the top fall to the ground and roll across your lawn.
"It stretches. Goes over and you just - uh - stroke with it I guess."
The inside is far from what you expected. You almost find it gross, the translucent white interior far squishier than you expected that it'd be bordering on slimey if it was wet too. Joel laughs down at you, seeing your face as you try to work out what the fuck you're holding, pulling it free from the rest of the shell and seeing a hole stuffed with a plastic tube. You can see what he means now, and you let a soft oh fall from your lips as you tug the tube filled with a sachet of lube from the middle of the toy. You feel inside, running your fingers over soft ridges, and you can only imagine how nice it must feel sliding wetly up and down a cock and, not for the first time in your life, you wish you could experience it yourself. But, the next best thing is right in front of you, and that'll have to do.
"These feel good?" you ask, his eyes turning glassy as you examine the inside of the stroker while your hand still tugs slowly up and down his cock.
Joel sighs deeply, nodding down at you, the obscene bunny ears still flopping on his head with each movement. "S'good. Nothin' like the real deal but, yeah. Feel nice."
Gripping Joel's cock in your fist, you begin to stroke gently up and down, sliding his foreskin back and forth over his cock until he's steely hard beneath your palm. The solar lights are starting to dim, their charge from the day already running out, but you can still see the dusky red tip, and the blue of the vein that runs down his shaft. You squish the toy in your other hand, the temptation to taste too strong to just leave all the fun to the squishy silicone. So, you press a delicate kiss right to the tip.
"Oh fuck," Joel hisses.
"Missed it," you confess on your knees with another kiss.
"Yeah? Well, s'all yours." Mine.
"Really? Your bunny wife not going to chase me out of my own yard?"
"Know damn well I ain't got a wife, I ain't the cheatin' kind, darlin', don't you worry."
And that admission alone sends your aching cunt throbbing between your legs, wishing even more desperately now that you weren't completely wrecked and oversensitive from your ill-timed playtime upstairs.
"Good," is all you say before taking his head in your mouth with a swirl of your tongue, a satisfied moan vibrating against his tip as you taste him properly for the first time in 4 months. "I've been thinking about doing this."
"Yeah? Been thinking about sucking my cock?"
"Mhm."
"Shit."
A simple continuous swirl of your tongue and small bob of your head was apparently enough to have him gripping his hands into tight fists, clearly fighting some internal demons to keep himself from coming so soon. Your mind absolutely fizzes with it, that this man wants you, likes what you do to him so much that you can have such an affect on him. And when you suck lightly, his head tips back so far the hood slides back off his head. All you can see is the underside of his jaw from where you look up from your knees, and when looks back down at you with heavy eyes, he looks the most normal you've ever seen him. He's not Santa, nor Cupid, and the costume that had rendered him Bunny Joel just a second ago instead drapes around him like nothing more than a soft, white coat.
"Thought about you tasting you," you mutter between mouthing at his cock, slicking his entire length with your saliva. "Having you come in my mouth. On my face."
Joel groans again, much louder this time and you can't help but laugh, mouth pressed to his balls, at his feeble attempt at silence. You press the tip of your finger, egg still clutched in your fist, to his dribbling slit, and drag a tooth grazing kiss across his sensitive ball skin as you silence him with a whisper.
"Shh, Flopsy. You don't want us to get caught."
"Fuckin' Flopsy, I should -"
But you don't hear what he should do, because you engulf his tip with your mouth once again and Joel finds himself speechless as you immediately slide your lips further down his slicked length with ease. You work him in your mouth, sucking him as you move up and down. He can't stop moaning, he doesn't even try. He should, he thinks. You deserve better than getting caught in your backyard doing something like this, but all he can think about each time you move your tongue just like that is how fucking good your mouth feels.
He feels like he's going to come. Your hand is massaging gently over his balls, your mouth working his cock to a near frenzy, and he is absolutely, one hundred percent sure he's going to come. You know he's almost there. If the groaning wasn't enough, the tightening in his balls and the twitching of his cock were a clear sign he was about to blow.
Then you stop.
Just like that, your mouth is gone. Your hands too. And he's having to force himself to look down at you where you stare in awe at the stroker in your hands, glistening with lube you'd poured into it as he bit his lip and fought off coming, untouched, into the breeze.
You want to use it on him, to listen to him groan as you stroke him with the soft silicone, and watch his every move as you work him over the edge. And his cock, as if calling to you like some kind of siren of the sea, beckons you in, accepting an offering of one last kiss before you raise the stroker.
"It's so stretchy," you gasp, as you slide the toy over the tip of Joel's cock. You can pull it almost all the way down the length of him. You make a few experimental twists and jerks, before settling into a slow rhythm, teasing him just as you'd teased yourself and dragged out your own orgasm upstairs.
It's interesting. Slipperier than your own hand, easier than your own mouth, but not quite the same as either. You can't feel him like this, and you certainly can't taste him.
"Do you like it?" you ask, and Joel doesn't quite know what to answer. He does like it - he likes having your hands on him any way he can get it, but he can't feel you in the same way like this. And it's definitely not as good as your mouth, or any other hole of yours he's fucked.
There's just enough light to see his face give a noncommittal twitch and you're peeling the toy off of him, sucking his tip back into your mouth quickly, moaning as the taste of him hits your tongue.
"Good, because I prefer it like this too."
"Fuck, yeah."
Now though, you have a lubed up, saggy egg in your hand and nowhere to put it. Until an absolutely inspired idea hits you square in the face and you're grinning with Joel's cock in your mouth.
He barely sees the fiendish look in your eye, just notices as you pull off him again, and he could scream. Then, something smooth and cold coats his balls. Your fingers are cradling him delicately, thumb and forefinger stretching open the toy until with a gentle wiggle, his balls are encased in the squishy silicone. And holy fuck, is it like nothing he's ever felt.
"Don't think that's how you use it, darlin'. But, shit, it's good," he gasps as you gently massage his balls through the toy. It's like having a soft cool mouth encasing his entire ballsack, while your actual mouth kisses delicately all over his cock. "C'mon now, stop your teasin', gotta come in the pretty fuckin' mouth."
He's back in your mouth before he even finishes his sentence, your mouth sounding wet an obscene as you work him up and up and up all over again. You draw him in deeper, his cock meeting the back of your throat, over and over, his hand coming to cup your face and delicately wipe away a tear from your watering eyes. Fuck, you're wishing more than ever that you could just jump on him, that your cunt wasn't wrecked, or that it didn't matter, that you could go infinite rounds and still want to be touched again and again. But that wasn't you. You had a limit and, even though you'd reached it, the want in you didn't go away and neither did the slick feeling between your legs or the deep throb of your pulse beating away in your clit.
Joel's fingers grip tighter on the side of your face, a soft thrust of his hips meeting every movement of your head. Catching his eye almost kills you then and there with his cock wedged at the back of your throat. He looks as wrecked as you feel, dark eyes shining down like black holes from space now that the light from your solar lamps has all but fucked off. The paint and rabbit ears almost fade away into the background as you hold yourself down on his cock, making yourself whine around him. You're starting to think if you sucked his cock for long enough you could make yourself come totally untouched, but you don't want to think about it. You can't.
He takes over then. Each slip of your lips down his cock met with a gentle hold, until you both do it all over again. It's easier to hold for longer each time, almost feeling deeper with each slide of his cock across your tongue, the taste of his precum making you salivate as much as having your mouth filled and occupied is.
Then, he presses you down, holding your head as you moan and whine and try desperately to swallow around him, to take more of him as he only seems to get harder.
"Not so Flopsy now, huh?" he asks, releasing you and pushing your head down on his cock once more.
He's fucking into your mouth now, small shallow thrusts hitting the back of your throat, your hand working the toy slickly across his balls as he moans more desperately than you've ever heard him moan before. Despite your teasing and edging, he's the one holding back now, the feel of your mouth on his cock, your nails scratching at his belly, and that damned toy sliding across his balls far too much for him to want to let go of any time soon.
But fuck is he close, and if he's not careful he's going to ruin it for himself by holding back and exploding without warning. He's waited too long for that to happen.
"I'm gonna -"
"Mhm!" you groan around his dick, nodding as much as you can with it in your mouth. You steady your hand against his waist, taking over all movement as he stills the slow gyration of his hips, bobbing your head faster as you suck him down. The swirl and flick of your tongue is positively relentless, and everything feels so wet and warm and fucking perfect that he knows he's a goner.
"Hn-uhhhhh, fuck. Ah, fuck, don't stop, don't stop, fuck, ugh!"
He bursts, salty in your mouth, filling your throat as you swallow around him, massaging and gripping his heavy balls as they twitch in your palm through the thick silicone.
You're only a bit of a mess when you pull off of him. Your lips are swollen and tingly, your hand slippery with lube, but you are totally, utterly content. The slick feeling between your legs is still there, so is the throb, but you're as satisfied as you could possibly be.
Pulling yourself to your feet is another story. Your legs have gone a bit numb from sitting on your knees for so long, and you stumble as you fight to right yourself, Joel catching you just before you tumble into the flowerbed. You laugh in his arms, his mouth pressed to yours as he swallows the sound, consumes it, wills it to make home in his body so he never forgets it.
Joel's fingers work their way under your thin shirt. He'd been looking between your face and your nipples the entire time you were on your knees for him, and he suspects you're entirely naked under there. When his fingers meet your sticky thighs, he thinks he's hit the jackpot, and is ready to return the favor through the haze of his own orgasm, when you stop him.
"I, uh... sorted myself out not too long ago. A few times."
"Damn, if I'd known I woulda come right up and helped you out myself. Thought you were sleepin', house was dark. Jus' playing with this sweet thing all along, huh?"
If he had known, he would have known how much you thought about him as you fucked yourself on your fingers. He would have known how you used the plug he left on your bedside table more than any of the others, crying his name out into the lonely expanse of your bedroom as you came quicker, and harder, than you had any right to. If he had known, he'd know how well and truly fucked you were over a man you still knew practically nothing about.
Of course, you knew some physical things. You knew what he looked like naked, how broad he was and how sweaty he got when he fucked you. You knew what he sounded like groaning into your mouth or laughing at a silly quip you'd thrown at him. You knew what he tasted like, and what you tasted like off of his tongue. But that was where your knowledge of him ended. You didn't know what he did for work, or if he even liked his job. You didn't know his favorite food or color. You didn't know what he sang in the car. You didn't know where he lived or what he drove - you didn't even know his full name, and you knew exactly why.
You were scared. Terrified, actually. Terrified to really get to know him, to break that blissful illusion of the tall, dark stranger who rocked your world on a seasonal basis, only to find you didn't like him at all. Or worse - that he didn't like you.
So, when you walk him through your house, egg disposed of and hands washed, listening to the soft snap of his suit being closed up around his bare body, you desperately try to ignore the longing ache in your chest, stopping any request for him to stay, to take you out for coffee in the morning before it stupidly tumbles out of your mouth. That's not what this is.
Instead, you wordlessly reach for your keys, smiling sweetly to him as if you hadn't just been waging war against yourself inside your head.
"What're you doing," he says, pointing to the keys held in your hand. "Goin' somewhere, or comin' home with me?"
"No, smart ass, this is a key, it locks doors. Just gonna lock up after you leave."
Joel's smile drops from his face. And you don't know why, but it has alarm bells immediately blaring in your head.
"What?" you ask nervously, eyes darting around his face as if you're trying to read his mind as he takes a slow step toward you, a frown slowly pulling his brow down as he pieces some mystery together.
"The door locks when it closes, then you the take the key and lock it again after?"
"... Maybe? Yes?"
"Wait. And you're tellin' me you do that every night."
"Yes, I lock my door every night Joel, what's wrong with that." Obviously your lock was no match for his lock picking skills, but you didn't consider that Joel perhaps didn't know how locks worked at all.
"What's wrong with that is you're unlocking your door every night and leaving it unlocked all night."
Your blood turns cold. You don't know why. You could just not believe him, or test for yourself, but something about his reaction, and his seemingly easy ability to get into your house, tells you that what he says is exactly right. It's your turn for your smile to drop, and you can feel it slip off your face just as your heart starts rapidly hopping in your chest.
"Oh. I - I thought..."
"It ain't that kind of lock, sweetheart. You never checked it after lockin' it?"
"No. No I - My last place, the lock, I had to - oh my god." There's dread now. A sickening cocktail of feelings swirling through your body, turning you red hot and cold over and over as you think of all the things that could've happened, how lucky you were they didn't, after all this time. Damn near a year, and you hadn't figured out how to properly work your own fucking door.
"How d'you think I been gettin' in? Didn't exactly climb down the chimney or fly in through the window the last two times. Maybe shouldn'ta done it that first time, but your tree was driving me mad, seein' it bare like that every time I drove past. You weren't in and the door was open, was only gonna be quick and then..."
You're not listening. Your heart has just stopped like it's been hurtled into a brick wall at 100mph. "Wait, you drive past my house?"
"Where else am I gonna fuckin' drive?!"
A thousand million volts straight to your chest, and your heart is beating again, racing, your voice raising with it, brandishing the pointy end of your key at him like it could save you now. "Have you been stalking me?"
"What? No! I live down the fuckin' street, I drive by to get to my house, I thought you knew that."
"Down the street?"
"Yes. I'm hardly gonna come from outta town just to fix your lights and your sink and fuck off again. I was just... bein' neighborly, I guess."
"You've been in my house fixing my shit without me here?"
It's just revelation after revelation. You can't believe it. You can't believe yourself for one, but you can't believe him either. Only you can. You very much believe him, and you hate that you do and you hate that, deep down, you know he's right and you're exactly the kind of idiot he's undoubtedly thinking you are.
"You ain't fuckin' noticed?! You had a light out in here, your kitchen faucet was drippin', your railin' in your hall closet was bust... you didn't notice anythin'? Are you even fuckin' in that pretty head o' yours?"
Suddenly you're feeling very stupid. The door is one thing, the minor home repairs another, but you'd been under the impression you were both on the same page this entire time. That it was some silly game you played, two strangers who had next to no clue about each other. All this time he knew who you were, but you were too fucking preoccupied and distracted and stupid to see that he was right there.
The heat in your checks crackles in your ears, misting over your eyes and making your entire body feel fuzzy. That fight or flight you'd been wondering about for the last few months has suddenly decided to make an appearance, settling on both as you fight back tears with a quivering lip.
"Get out." It's silent fury, building white hot as the seconds tick by with him standing, staring at you like you're the one dressed as a giant rabbit and not him.
"What? Darlin', c'mon, it's okay -"
"Get. Out." You wrench the door open, pushing him and his stupid fucking bunny costume out, shoving the basket of eggs into his arms once he crosses the doorway.
"Bye." You slam the door, the stupid fucking self locking door, and slide down it, head in your hands. You have never felt so fucking stupid.
taglist: @jupiter-soups @wannab-urs @bean-is-reading @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @youandmeand5bucks-blog @bbyanarchist @vickywallace @kamcrazy123 @valkyreally @ashhlsstuff @a-literal-goblin @ariundercovers @iluvurfather @stevie75 @toxicanonymity @thesevi0lentdelights @sp00kymulderr
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starvity · 3 months
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— ☆ domestic things with zb1
gn!reader x zb1 (ot9)
genre: fluff, drabble // warnings: none? - just a bunch of cute little things you'd experience while dating the jebi boys <3
author’s note: happy valentine's day ˚୨୧⋆。♡ the tiniest drabbles written between two classes :') (★ω★)/
ੈ✩‧₊˚ jiwoong
stroking his thumb against your cheek. lending you his jacket. winking at you shamelessly. buying coffee and pastries while you’re still sleeping. braiding your hair. making sure you don’t bump your head against any surface.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ zhang hao
head pats and soft smiles. talking for hours in a cafe. linking pinkies. sleeping with his hands all over your face. kissing your nose when you pout. playing the violin for you on facetime. buying you flowers. movie marathons.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ hanbin
wrapping his scarf around your neck. forehead kisses. picking you up after work. buying you jewellery. road trips with sunglasses and his hand on your thigh. linking arms. random calls throughout the day to say i love you.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ matthew
working out together. or whatching him. flirting when you shouldn’t. putting a strand of hair behind your ear. remembering your order by heart. resting his hands on your hips. using your stomach as a pillow. stargazing.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ taerae
singing back to you in the shower through the door. trying new food together. nuzzling his nose in your neck. putting little flowers he picked in your back pocket. mumbling good night just before falling asleep.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ ricky
pampering you with kisses after a long day. doing your makeup or hair. carrying your bag for you. smiling against your lips. good morning texts. slow dancing in the kitchen. watching the sunrise.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ gyuvin
calling you to make sure you’ve eaten. tying your shoelaces. poking your arm for attention. biting your cheeks out of affection. walking you home from school. neck kisses. lazy sunday mornings.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ gunwook
ducking down to your height to ask for kisses. accompanying you to class. bear hugs. resting his head on your shoulder. bringing you cut up fruit and your favorite drink.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ yujin
poking your nose. slipping a snack into your bag. hand kisses. sharing earbuds. playing video games with you and letting you win. making sure he walks on the road part of the sidewalk.
409 notes · View notes
gurugirl · 6 months
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Here's To Us | bfd!harry
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best friend's dad!harry x reader | forbidden romance
Thanks to this request!!
Summary: A quick little weekend getaway is sweet and romantic. You reveal something that makes Harry do something a bit out of character.
Word Count: 6.4k
Warning: 18+ only, smut, public sex, breeding kink, age gap, fluffy fluff but also lined with a bit of anxiety at what's soon to come
Best Friend's Dad!Harry Masterlist
Harry wasn’t giving a single fuck. You assumed he’d want to keep his distance at least on the way out to the taxi that waited in front of his house to take you both to the airport but he pulled you along, his hand wrapped around yours, and then kissed you right before you ducked down to slide into the backseat.
You felt a bit on edge as you looked all around, wondering which neighbor had seen it or if maybe Fae or her mother were parked nearby watching.
Harry put his arm around your shoulder and kissed your temple when he climbed in next to you, “It’s fine. Don’t stress.”
Even at the airport, you kept your eyes moving all around. What if someone you knew was there? It was definitely possible. And with the way Harry kept stretching his hand out for you to hold, he didn’t seem to mind at all if anyone saw.
“What do you want?” Harry nudged your arm to give your order to the barista.
“Oh. Just a coffee. I’ll add some milk and sugar.”
Harry smiled down at you and rubbed your back, “Can you relax a little? Everything’s going to be just fine.”
You really did try. You weren’t able to fully chill until you were on the plane and in your seats. Harry didn’t let go of your hand as he kept reassuring you that things would be fine.
And they were fine. The trip was relatively uneventful. Other than you and Harry deciding to silence your phones so you could ignore the messages from his wife and his daughter. At that point, they were both convinced you and Harry were having an affair since neither of you was reachable or responding.
The last text you got from Fae had your heart dropping.
I know you must be with him because he’s not responding to me either and it’s unlike him. I hope you’re happy with yourself.
“Don’t look at it right now. Let’s just enjoy our time to be a normal couple. When we get back on Sunday we’ll face all of this together.”
You nodded and sighed, “I know. It’s just so hard. We’ve been hidden away from everyone and now things are changing. Being in the open and knowing what we’re about to do…” You leaned into his arm as you waited for your luggage to arrive on the conveyor.
Harry turned and put his nose to your temple, “I know baby. It’s a lot but we’ll be okay.”
Quebec was gorgeous. You’d never been before and you were thoroughly impressed with how clean and quaint the city was. A little dream town really.
Harry booked a room at the Hotel Boutique Ophelia. It was all modern and updated with a nice cocktail bar you couldn’t wait to enjoy with Harry by your side. You were already feeling giddy about going out in public with him and not being worried that anyone would spot you.
Your room had a big king-sized bed and a tall window that overlooked the busy street. The bathroom had a big tub with jets, “Harry this is really nice,” you looked around as you sat on the bed.
Harry sat next to you and laid back into the bed, stretching his limbs with a groan.
Of course when he did that his t-shirt lifted and exposed part of his tummy. Which you couldn’t help but lean over him and kiss the expanse of exposed flesh.
But it didn’t end there. When you felt his hand cup the back of your head you smiled as you kissed his belly button and the bit of hair tickled your mouth. You plucked at his button and opened his trousers and he started to sit up to protest but his appeal was weak. He folded nearly as fast as he opened his mouth and you shushed him as you pulled his pants down and reached into his briefs to find his cock.
You just wanted to show him how grateful you were. You realized that what he was doing with you would be something he could never come back from. He would lose his stability, his financial situation would change dramatically, people would shun him or hate him, and his daughter might despise him. He could lose her. You could lose her. Everything you two were doing was a risk and it was going to hurt a lot of people. But you weren’t going to stop now. It was too late for that. It was too late to take it all back and pretend nothing had happened. Because now his wife and his daughter were onto you both. Especially the way you’d gone silent in the last couple of days.
So, he deserved some kind of gift from you. And a good blow job could do the trick for now. It was all you had to give but you hoped it could convey your appreciation to him. That he chose you above everyone else in his life who was most important. He picked you. Over his own daughter. And yes, that might be a horrible thing, but to you… it just meant you wanted to give him anything he wanted. Show him how much you loved him and that you’d never leave his side.
And yes, it was just a blow job, but it was a start. Right?
The moment you pulled him out of his underwear he scrambled to pull them off and you licked over his tip softly and kissed. You looked up at him through your lashes with your tongue out and lovingly wetted his shaft and kissed as you went.
“I love you, Harry,” you moved your lips against his foreskin as you spoke.
His grunted response made you smile as you kissed your way down his length. He grew hard fast which pleased you. You wanted that response. Loved that he got so hard for you.
You drew your hand up and down his shaft as you kissed and lapped at his scrotum gently. You leaned to your right a bit so you could see his face beyond his thick cock that you pumped slowly. He was already looking down at you with his lips parted and small puffs of breath falling from his mouth. His nostrils were flaring slightly as he inhaled.
You did love him. So much. He was so good with you. So sweet and patient. And reassuring. He was everything and you held him taught in your hand as you brought your lips to his tip, kissing his slit again and sighing, “Wanna have you coming in my mouth. Want to show you how happy I am with you.”
You had to tell him ahead of time. Because so many times you’d start sucking him off and he’d want to finish inside of you. He preferred filling you up and telling you how he was gonna knock you up. Which you did love. And you wanted. But this was for him. Something just for Harry. He always made sex all about you and your pleasure. But at that moment, you only wanted his pleasure. His ecstasy.
You wrapped your lips around his tip and tongued over his frenulum before moving yourself down further over him, sucking him in. You kept your hand wrapped around his base, twisting and pulling softly as you licked and sucked around his cock. You used your hand as an extension of your mouth.
With Harry’s legs spread just a bit he tucked a pillow under his neck so he could angle himself to watch you. You gave him your best work. Taking him down as deep as possible and then lifting up to his tip over and over again, letting your tongue wet his prick and swirl around his head.
You hollowed your cheeks as you sucked and twisted his base with your wet palm. Harry moaned and reached down to your head. His eyes were dark as his pupils were blown out and his moans were getting whinier the deeper you took him.
When you’d finally gotten into a good pace and you were in a good position between his legs you pressed your palms into his upper thighs and looked up at him as you pushed yourself down until his long cock grazed the back of your throat. You moaned and swallowed and then forced yourself lower, his tip dragging into your tonsils and making you gag lightly.
Everything was wet. You were drooling and coughing as you kept your mouth wrapped around him. Sinking your mouth down on his cock over and over again had your eyes watering but you kept looking back up at him. Harry was moaning and gently bucking his hips upward as he kept his hands on the back of your head.
“Oh baby, just like that…” he breathed his words and kept his neck angled to watch everything you did. He loved seeing you with his cock in his mouth. He preferred watching your pussy take him but this was right up there with his favorite views.
Harry’s abs clenched as he began to tremble and whimper, “Yes… yesyesyes…”
You could feel his thighs shaking under your hands as he pressed you down over his cock. You could taste his precome. He was right at the edge. His neck was straining as he kept his eyes on yours.
“Fuck… I’m coming!” He growled and you felt the pressure from his thick cock as it began to pulse in your mouth. His hand at the back of your head kept you down over him and you squeezed your eyes closed as he orgasmed down your throat.
You gurgled as you attempted to swallow every drop but it was difficult. Harry always came in big gushes. Swallowing what you could as his cock throbbed in your throat you moaned and blinked your eyes to look up at him as he let go of the back of your head. His head was back into the pillow, his chest was heaving, and his face flushed red.
Slowly dragging your lips up you swallowed again and licked upward as you lifted yourself off him. You put your palm back around his base and licked along his ridges and the skin as you peeked up at him. He groaned and lifted himself by his elbows, “Jesus Christ, Y/n. Fucking gonna kill me with that mouth,” he pulled at your hand and dragged you over him. You still had your outfit on. Normally Harry was the one still clothed while you were bare, but this time it felt good to have him be the one naked and panting after having just come from your mouth.
“Let’s go out and enjoy the city now!” You grinned as you kissed his mouth.
Walking hand in hand along the sidewalk was your favorite. You adored being able to stand on your tiptoes and give a quick kiss to his neck or his jaw right in front of people. Loved that not a single person looked at you like you were doing something wrong. Loved that no one knew who you were.
Dinner was at some spot you passed by that looked good. French. Like most of the other restaurants you saw. You and Harry sat right next to each other and shared your plates and kissed and talked. There wasn’t any space between you two as you ate. Harry’s arm was around you as you fed him bites from your fork and he did the same with you. A shared bottle of wine made you giggly and Harry kept kissing your hand and your cheek.
If you could have this with Harry all the time, then everything you’d face soon would be worth it. To have Harry was worth it regardless, but this? To kiss and touch and flirt in public was a dream.
You walked toward a park and made plans for the next day. You didn’t have much time to spend away with him before you had to be back but Saturday you had a full day with just the two of you together. You tried not thinking of what to expect on Sunday when you returned home. Tried not to imagine how it would be to face everyone with the truth once and for all.
So you pushed away all your anxiety and let Harry’s warmth comfort and calm you.
The sun went down at around 4:30 pm but you kept walking together hand in hand. Even Harry was thrilled to be out with you in public, “This is how it can be for us. I can’t wait to just not worry about anyone seeing us.”
You smiled and looked up at him, “I don’t know if I’ve ever been happier, Harry. I can’t believe how much I needed this.”
Harry put his arm around your shoulder to keep you closer as you both walked through the chilly streets back toward your hotel. It was still a bit early but you both agreed you were ready to head back. Wanted to cuddle and try out the jetted tub. You were also quite horny after giving Harry that blow job. He had tried to reciprocate but you wanted to go out and eat and explore first.
The inside of the hotel was warm and bright. And then you remembered the cocktail bar as you walked toward the stairs toward your room, “Let’s get a cocktail!” You looked up at Harry.
He nodded, “Of course. Anything you want my love.”
You both were seated quickly and given menus. Sitting close to Harry’s side you leaned into him and kissed his chest as you looked down at the menu.
“This one sounds good,” you pointed at a cocktail on the menu called Zelda and Harry ordered you both one.
“I should have brushed up on my French a little. I feel so dumb trying to figure out what most of the words are,” you laughed as you looked down at the menu with the cocktails.
Harry chuckled and you both clinked your glasses together when he lifted his up to yours, “Here’s to us. To happiness. To love. To whatever may come,” he softly smiled as you both sipped your drink.
“To us,” you took another quick sip before sitting your glass down and leaning up to kiss his mouth.
Harry had his glass placed down and he cupped your face, kissing you back slowly.
Normally you weren’t into PDA. But being in Quebec with Harry made you feel invisible. You didn’t care if anyone saw you kissing or not. No one cared and that was the part that made you feel so giddy and free.
The check was paid and you and Harry found yourselves in your room all before 7pm.
“My sweet girl,” Harry drew your body into his and wrapped his arms around you in a big hug, “I’m so happy with you. I hope you know that.”
You smiled and nodded into his chest as you tilted your head back to look up at him, “I’m so happy with you too, Harry. No matter what.”
The bed was still a bit crumpled from your earlier activities as Harry pulled the blankets down and pushed you into the bed. He kept his eyes on yours as he pulled your pants down your legs and you grinned as he smoothed his chilled palms over your bare limbs, “Cold!”
Harry huffed and pushed himself over you, attaching his lips to yours so your back hit the mattress, “Then let’s warm ‘em up.”
Harry had you naked on the bed under him as he pushed your legs apart and took his shirt off with a smirk, “Might get messy,” he said as he lowered himself and licked upward through your crease a few times, pressing over your clit and then going back down to lick from your entrance upward.
It was a funny thing how you already knew he was going to eat you out first thing. You knew Harry well. He didn’t like to be the only one to get off. It took a lot of convincing to have him drop it earlier when you insisted on going out after giving him head.
So you were certain that once you got into your room that Harry would be doing exactly what he was.
You sighed and smiled as you laid your head back on the pillow. Harry’s mouth always worked wonders on your pussy. He was simply the best. He was eager and skilled and he loved getting you off. Honestly, everything about Harry was something you’d have loved to brag to all your friends about. Make them all jealous with how good he was in bed, how hot his body was, how sweet he was with you, how big his cock was…
But you’d never once been able to tell anyone about him. You’d not been able to share about how you had the most amazing boyfriend with the biggest heart who was also great in bed.
“Ahh!” you cried when Harry inserted two fingers into your weepy hole. You were turned on and ready for him before you’d even gotten to your room. So it didn’t take much to have you gasping and writhing against Harry’s mouth.
His deep moans vibrated into your core and belly button. You moaned and stuffed your fingers into his hair, “I need you, Harry…”
Harry looked up at you and your perked nipples and your wiggly hips. He sucked your clit in and pressed his fingers into you deeply, stroking your insides fervently.
Everything sounded wet. Harry’s slurps and your drippy cunt with fingers stuffed deep inside gushed.
“I need you too, baby. Fucking so good for me aren’t you?” He spoke against your pussy, his lips brushing over your clit as he continued fucking into you with his long fingers.
Harry reached his free hand up to grab your hand and slid his fingers between yours. Somehow having your hand in his as he ate you out and fingered you had you tipping into your orgasm quickly. You began to quiver and moan loudly, “Oooh!”
Harry looked up at you as he licked and flicked his tongue around your clit slowly. You moaned and ground your cunt into his face and against his fingers as you began to come. Your muscles tensed and Harry continued stroking along your walls as he enveloped your clit with his whole mouth.
You felt like you were floating as you orgasmed and whimpered into the room. You tilted your neck back and closed your eyes as Harry’s fingers tightened around yours. You pulled at his hair and gasped.
When he drew his mouth away from between your legs you lifted your head to look at him. He climbed up and lay next to you.
His warm body next to yours was a comfort. You closed your eyes and felt his hand graze over your skin, from your hips to your breasts and over your arms. You sighed and turned toward him with a big smile.
“Gonna keep all your clothes on?” You plucked at his shirt.
“I’ll get ‘em off. Don’t worry. Need me naked?” Harry huffed a laugh.
You shook your head, “I don’t NEED you naked.” You laughed, “But it’s probably more comfortable for you,” you pulled at one of the buttons on his shirt and loosened it from its spot before working your way down to the next one.
Harry watched you slowly unbutton him.
He eventually rolled to his back and put his hands behind his head as you got him nearly all undressed. Shirt unbuttoned, pants undone. You sat up to your knees and tried yanking his pants down but with the way he was lying on his back, it was hard.
Harry laughed as he watched you struggle, “Need some help?”
“Well, if you want your clothes off you have to lift your hips,” you patted his over his low tummy as you sat over him.
Harry reached up to cup your breast and thumb over your nipple softly, “I guess I should listen to the naked girl then shouldn’t I?”
You laughed and yanked at his pants again, this time Harry lifted his bottom up, arching his back so you were able to pull them down and finally pull them off his legs. Harry sat up and shrugged his shirt off and once he was finally free of all his clothes he pulled you down into the bed and wrapped his arms around you.
You smiled and stuffed your face into his chest with a sigh. You felt a blanket cover your body suddenly and opened your eyes, tilting your head back to look up at your handsome man.
He kissed your nose and somehow you found sleep very quickly. It was still early and you’d imagined that you two would stay up having sex and watching TV but clearly, you both were exhausted from travel.
You woke up to Harry moving behind you, his hands traveling over your tits and his nose tucked into your neck. He was solid and poking into your bottom from behind.
You moaned and stretched your legs and then you heard Harry’s voice, “Sweet girl…” his lips kissed at your neck and you closed your eyes.
Reaching behind yourself you found the back of Harry’s neck and moved your head to look behind yourself but everything was hard to see in the dark. Harry grunted and his fingers gripped onto your hips as he rocked into you, his dick fitting between your cheeks.
The longer Harry’s lips were on your neck and his hard cock rubbed into your ass the more turned on you got. You felt his fingers find your cunt and he pulled your hips, angling you for his access. He stuffed a finger inside of you and that’s when you realized you were already wet.
Everything was slow and lazy. You barely had your eyes opened as you pushed yourself back onto his finger and moaned.
He lifted your thigh and slid his leg between yours to keep your legs parted as he fingered you and then rubbed over your clit slowly. You could feel his heavy cock nudging into you where his fingers were so you spread your legs further and moved his hand away before guiding his cock inside of you.
He pressed in until his hips were against your ass and he reached over you to place his fingers on your clit.
Your back was leaned into his chest as he fucked into you. His breathing was heavy and his pace grew more frantic when he began to kiss your neck again. You weren’t sure you could come but you were certainly turned on and everything he did felt so good. His big cock slipping into your walls made you ache and clench.
“Fuck…” Harry groaned deeply, “M’gonna come.”
You knew Harry would burst quickly just by the way he was breathing and moving. He was shaky and moaning and he must have woken up horny as hell.
“Come inside of me,” you whispered in a moan. He was already throbbing when you said it and then you felt his muscles tighten as he jerked his hips upward, holding your hip as he pumped into you with a soft groan in your ear.
You loved the feel of his cock throbbing and emptying inside of your pussy. You cooed at him as he orgasmed and trembled behind you.
When he finally slackened his hold on your hip you placed your hand over his and pulled it up to your mouth to kiss.
He sighed and snuggled in closer to you and that’s how you fell asleep. With his cock still inside of you and filled with his come.
You made a mental note to buy some cranberry juice and pee first thing when you woke up.
And you did order cranberry juice when you two finally made it to a small café for breakfast. But you didn’t pee first thing because Harry was fucking you again before you’d even gotten out of bed.
He woke you up much in the same way he did in the middle of the night with his lips at your neck and his hard prick poking into your rear.
Except this time he wanted to make sure you came. He had you on all fours, rubbing your clit with your face smushed into the blanket. He told you he was fucking his come from earlier back into your pussy and kept moaning at how pretty it was. And you could hear it. Things were absolutely drenched. You knew it must have been a sight because he kept having to pull out before he’d come too fast, “Need you to come this time, baby,” he spoke against your shoulder blades as he rocked his hips into the air to calm himself down.
You adored how attentive he was with you and how he always wanted you to come, but you kind of liked how he fucked you and came inside of you so fast in the night. There was something so primal and needy about it. So dirty and rude. He woke up horny, fucked your hole, and poured into you before falling back asleep without having you come.
But he insisted on your orgasm once morning came and so who were you to deny him? With your pussy already full of his come he had you pulsing and shaking as he fucked you through your orgasm. Soft moans into the blanket as his fingers spread over your clit worked you to your end before he finally grunted deeply and pounded himself into you until your tummy was flat on the mattress and he was finishing inside of you once again, cock twitching and leaking into you.      
The café where you wound up was in the Petite-Champlain neighborhood. There were a lot of people walking through the cobblestone streets as you and Harry sipped your coffee and enjoyed croissants with jam. And that cranberry juice for yourself just in case.
Then you both took the funicular up to Cap Diamont where you had really great views of Quebec City. Lunch was at a little bistro in the Old Quebec area. But really, most of your day entailed walking together and kissing on park benches. You and Harry had bundled up again and found yourselves buying hot chocolate and tea to keep warm outside.
But as chilly as it was, you were having the time of your life doing almost nothing. With Harry, it felt like you were in a romance movie or something. Strolling through old streets and stopping into little shops and making out against the brick buildings as people walked past.
When you two got to a large park and walked around the garden you sat on a bench and held hands.
“I’d have a baby with you,” you blurted out as you watched a woman and her husband push an expensive-looking stroller in front of them.
Harry turned and looked at you in surprise, “Yeah? Have you been thinking about it?”
You nodded and leaned your head onto his shoulder, “A little. I mean… I want kids so. I don’t think there’s anyone else I’m going to want to have kids with. Other than you.”
Harry kissed the top of your head and stayed silent for a bit. You knew that he teased you often about giving you his babies but felt this was something that needed to be said before you two were in it truly for the long haul. You wanted kids one day. And you saw yourself with Harry.
He pulled you closer, his arm around your back, and finally spoke, “Then I’ll give you babies if that’s what you want. Would love to see you pregnant.”
You laughed and looked up at him, “You’ve said that a time or two.”
He grinned, “Yeah. Something about getting you knocked up makes me lose my mind a little. Wanna go try for it now?”
You both laughed as you sat up, “I need to get my implant removed. And… let’s wait until after everyone knows. Because then we’ll have a better idea of what to expect. But yeah. I want your babies.”
Harry swallowed harshly and you saw his throat bob as he licked his lips, “I’m gonna be thinking about this all day now. Got me half hard just mentioning it.”
You sputtered out a giggle, “Really? Just saying I’d let you get me pregnant has you turned on?”
He nodded and inhaled a deep breath as he looked out over the park toward the monument, “Certainly does.”
And after that conversation, Harry was only even more touchy, feely with you. He was gentle and warm and he kept looking at you in a way that made you tingle and heat up. You knew what he was thinking.
He’d made dinner reservations for you two at a nice restaurant later on. The sun had begun to go down and you two were still enjoying your magic little day together as you made your way to the dinner spot.
The place looked old and beautiful. You felt very underdressed but you were both seated anyway. You’d been outside all day exploring the city and you hadn’t gotten back to your room to change.
Harry took your hand and squeezed, “Don’t worry about how you’re dressed. No one cares. See?” He looked around the dining room and you nodded with a smile.
A glass of wine made you feel a lot better. And then the food was brought out and you nearly forgot about everyone else in the room altogether.
You both had your cell phones on airplane mode. Harry used a downloaded map to help you get around but you both didn’t want to see any phone calls or notifications from anyone. You did have to connect to wifi that morning to text your boss that you were going to be off that day, but you quickly put it back into airplane mode when you noticed a few more missed texts. One even from your mother. You’d worry about all that the following night.
Dessert was crème brulé which you shared with Harry. He was feeding you with his spoon and you both were laughing at the mess he was making, “I’m gonna settle up. Go into the bathroom and wait for me,” he looked at you with a serious yet thoughtful expression and you laughed.
“Why?”
“Do as I say,” he raised a brow at you as he leaned forward to pull out his wallet. You rolled your eyes and whispered in his ear, “I don’t know what you’re planning but I doubt there’s a spot for any fooling around.”
Harry sighed and nodded at your waiter before turning to face you, “There is. Go check. I’ll be there in a minute.”
You couldn’t believe him. He couldn’t even wait thirty minutes before you’d get back to your room but you were quite excited to learn what he had in mind. You trusted Harry so you’d play along.
The hallway off the main dining room had four separate rooms for a bathroom. It was then you realized that each room was a single room with a toilet and sink. The one at the end had a bench so that was your choice. You grinned as you looked both ways down the hall and stepped in. The room was lowly lit and as your eyes took in the small space you figured the bench could work. Or you could lean into the sink and vanity.
Moments later there was a knock and the door opened. Harry stepped in and locked the door and his hands found your hips and his mouth covered yours. You laughed into the kiss but he was absolutely serious as he pushed you against the sink and moaned into your mouth.
“Gonna imagine I’m getting you pregnant every time I fuck you now, you realize that?” Harry spoke quietly in his deep voice as he unbuckled his belt quickly.
“Yeah? Is that what we’re doing here? You couldn’t wait to get me in bed, Mr. Styles?”
Harry licked his lips and roughly lifted up your dress, “You shouldn’t have told me you wanted my babies if you didn’t want me to fuck you in a public bathroom,” Harry’s hands slid your panties down to your thighs and he turned you to face the mirror.
You bit your tongue as he manhandled you and kneaded your bottom in his hands, “I already paid so you can be loud too, baby,” he looked at you through the mirror and put his hand next to yours on the stone counter of the sink as you felt his hot tip tracing up and down your slit, “let everyone know who’s fucking you like you need.”
You were like a different person suddenly. It had never occurred to you to do something like what was just about to happen. But you wanted it. Harry’s sudden demeanor was dominant and possessive and it felt kinky. You surprised yourself how much you were into it.
You dropped your mouth open and kept your eyes on his through the mirror as you pushed back into him and he met you with a hefty thrust, pushing himself in past your muscle and you hissed at the sudden stretch.
Harry’s eyes were dark and he looked possessed as he looked down to your pussy wrapped around him. He tried being gentle at first. Worked himself into you slowly but when you spread your legs and lowered your torso over the sink so he could have more access he groaned and used his free hand to pull one of your cheeks so he could watch as he disappeared into you completely.
“Yes! Fuck!” You moaned as he drew himself back and jerked his hips forward into you swiftly.
Harry kept one hand on the sink to steady himself as he began to pound into you. Your body was shoved upward into the counter over and over again as he rocked into you.
You lifted your neck to peek up at him through the mirror and felt a wash of heat over your back at how gorgeous he was, how much he was enjoying your body. When he caught your eyes on him he leaned over your back and worked himself into you with deep thrusts, the front of his strong thighs pasted to the back of yours.
“When you get pregnant everyone’s gonna know who’s fucking you. Gonna know who did it to you.”
You rolled your eyes to the back of your head as you moaned. You loved the idea of everyone knowing that he was the one who had your tummy growing.
Harry rolled his hips into you forcefully and he grunted at each plunge. When he lowered a hand to your front he found your clit and continued wrecking your insides as he slid his fingers over your button.
You gasped and watched Harry’s eyes in the mirror as he began to grow flushed.
You moaned his name quietly.
“Louder. Say it louder.”
You began to tremble as you moaned his name louder.
It wasn’t like you really needed to loudly moan for anyone to know what was happening in that bathroom. Harry’s pounding into you was certainly heard in the hallway and the counter under your torso was banging into the wall with a loud thud in time with his thrusts.
When you began to feel the vibrations of your clit throbbing and your orgasm winding its way from your center you cried in a pathetic whimper as you were pushed upward over and over again.
“Coming on my cock? Yeah? Feels good little girl?” Harry’s words were spoken through gritted teeth and heavy pants as he knocked himself into you.
You wailed and gasped. Harry was working himself into you sharply as you spasmed around him in delirium. You had never had sex in public and while you knew you might have been overhead a time or two, this was different and it had you intoxicated with him. You loved it.
He had been so worked up when you told him you wanted him to get you pregnant and this was the result. He couldn’t do enough to show everyone you were his. His carnal caveman self wanted so badly to fuck you into oblivion right in front of everyone and get you pregnant so no one could mistake who you belonged to. They could watch it with their own eyes. Of course, since Harry was a modern gentleman, he settled for railing you in the bathroom of a nice little French restaurant in Quebec instead. It would have to do.
You hadn’t even noted Harry’s orgasm at all. You heard him moaning and felt his fingers on your clit but you must have been in a different dimension because suddenly you caught your breath and Harry was cleaning you up and whispering how much he loved you and needed you.
“You know I’ll take care of you, baby… everything will be so good, I promise you…”
The exit was slightly awkward, to put it mildly. You and Harry briskly walked (well, you wobbled a bit) out of the front door and figured you’d never be back at that little restaurant anyway. Harry kept telling you to just look at his face and ignore everyone who watched as you passed through the tables and then the maître d' before finally finding yourself outside.
It had started to drizzle lightly and your jacket didn’t have a hood so Harry pulled his jacket off and draped it over both of you so you could walk back to your hotel without getting too wet.
You leaned into him and wrapped your arms around his middle with a grin, “I love you, Harry.”
He looked down at you under his coat and quirked his lips up in a cheeky smile. His cheeks were still flushed and he just looked like a man who had a secret that no one knew. No one except you of course. A secret shared between you two that no one was in on.
Yet.
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roosterforme · 1 year
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The Gray Sweatpants | Rooster x Reader
Summary: For you and Bradley, sharing a home comes easily. He is always willing to put in the extra work to make you happy, and he will do it wearing his gray sweatpants and a smile.
Warnings: Fluff and smut
Length: 2100 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots! (But it can be read on its own) Check my masterlist in my profile for the reading order! Based on a request.
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Living with you was an interesting change of pace for Bradley. He had gotten so used to tiny living quarters and never sharing anything. But now you were here in this big house, along with all of your colorful stuff, and your perfume, and your kitchen gadgets. And you wanted to share everything with him. 
Not a day went by that you weren't wearing his clothing and using his shaving cream in the shower. And you always offered to share your food with him, holding up a sandwich or forkful of food for him to take a bite. You always seemed to be around asking about his day and giving him all of the details of yours, delivered with your own brand of wit and humor that never failed to have him wrapping his arms around you. 
It was one of the first Friday nights after you moved into his house, and now it was your house, too. Every time he got to use the word "ours", it made him happy in a way he couldn't really explain. 
"I was thinking we should plant a garden in the backyard," you said, feeding Bradley a bite of your dinner from your perch on his lap. You were wearing one of his Top Gun shirts and nothing else, and Bradley couldn't imagine living here without you. "I mean, San Diego kind of sucks for flowers, but we're hardy east coast people. We should have a garden."
"We would have no street cred if we didn't have sad, dying, east coast people flowers," he replied, delighting in the sound of your laughter. 
"Exactly! Plus, the backyard is a little scary, Roo. I'll help you clean it up on Sunday, if you want."
"Sure, Baby Girl. We'll see."
But he had something else in mind now.
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You woke up on Saturday morning to an empty bed and groaned. Bradley knew you had particular rules concerning him staying in bed with you on Saturday mornings. And you expected a certain level of compliance. 
"Bradley?" you called as you stumbled into the kitchen where you found him brewing coffee and eating some toast in just his gray sweatpants.
"Morning, Sweetheart," he rasped, but your mouth had gone dry. You must still be in bed, asleep and dreaming. That was the only way this would make sense.
You made a soft, strangled sound as Bradley reached up into the cabinet and grabbed your favorite mug. "Want some coffee?"
"Bradley," you whispered. He wasn't even wearing any underwear. You could see the outline of his cock pressing against the soft fabric as the pants hung low on his hips. 
You were taking a step closer to him, ready to drop to your knees when he said, "You'll be late for brunch with Cam and Maria if you don't leave soon." You had completely forgotten about your plans.
Your eyes slid up his naked torso until they met his smirking face. "Why are you not wearing underwear?"
He suddenly looked embarrassed, cheeks flushing pink. "I actually need you to show me how to use the washing machine. I'm almost out of clean clothes. Can you show me after brunch?"
You glanced at the clock on the microwave and sighed. You didn't even have time to properly blow your boyfriend like you wanted to. "Yeah, I'll show you after I get home, Roo," you whispered, running your fingers along his length through his pants.
"Oh fuck," he grunted when you cupped him and squeezed softly. He pressed you against the edge of the counter, and you could feel him getting hard for you. 
But you just stuck your chin in the air. "Next Saturday, make sure you stay in bed with me longer." You ducked out of his grasp with a grin while he groaned your name. "Oh, and I don't want to be late for brunch."
You got ready to go out, and when you passed him in the kitchen before you left, he was eating more toast and glaring at you. 
"You gonna come back and take care of this later?" he grunted, gesturing to his semi.
"Sure, Roo. Right after we do your laundry," you said with a wink. He just grunted in response before you added, "And make sure you don't go out in those pants. They are indecent!"
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As soon as you were gone, Bradley thought about jerking off, but he knew he had a limited amount of time before you would be home again. So he quickly put his old sneakers on along with his aviators and traipsed out through the sliding glass door to the backyard. You weren't wrong; it was in pretty rough shape.
Bradley kicked over a faded lawn gnome and opened up the shed. He pulled out some shovels and a rake that the previous owners had left, and he got to work. An hour later, he was shocked to find that there was in fact a garden bed buried back along the privacy fence. He dug up dead plants and weird lawn ornaments, tossing everything off to the side to get taken out with the trash. 
He stopped working for a minute to wipe the sweat from his brow. The sun was strong even for early December, but at least it wasn't too hot outside. And now, as he looked around, Bradley was pleased to see that the whole space looked a lot better. His girlfriend wanted a garden? Well then she would get one.
"Roo?" you called from the sliding glass door. You were grinning and heading his way with a cold water bottle. "What are you doing?"
He took the drink from your hand and downed the entire thing before he answered you. "Making the yard nicer for you. Check it out. A garden bed."
But you weren't really looking at the yard as much as you were looking at him. You wrapped your arms around his sweaty torso and kissed him. "You're so sweet."
He grinned down at you but didn't dare touch, not wanting to get your cute dress all dirty. "We can go to the nursery tomorrow and pick out some flowers if you want. We can plant them...." His word trailed off as you bit your lip and slipped your hand inside the front of his sweatpants. 
"I've been thinking about this since I left for brunch." Your voice was soft and breathless as your fingers teased his length before you wrapped your small hand around his cock. "Been thinking about these gray sweatpants."
Bradley let you ease the fabric down until he was fully exposed. You were licking your lips and moaning softly. He knew exactly what that meant.
"God damn it," he groaned as you dropped to your knees on the grass in front of him. He was standing in the center of the yard, looking around to see if there was any way one of the neighbors could see what was going on. But when you kissed and licked away his precum before parting your lips and taking his tip, he decided he didn't care. 
Bradley reached one big palm to the back of your head and guided you along. You took him a little deeper, looking up at him as your mouth filled up with each inch of him until your lip was brushing his coarse hairs. You gagged a bit, hollowing your cheeks as you sucked on him. "You're such a good girl. I'll give you anything you want."
You moaned around him, your tongue swirling along the underside of his entire length until you pulled him out to the tip. You kissed him sweetly and softly asked, "You know what I want, Roo?"
Bradley shook his head a little bit, dazed as you let his cock rest against your plush tongue. He was panting now and twitching as your hot breath teased his dick. 
"You tell me what you want, and I'll give it to you."
You giggled and smiled up at him with half lidded eyes as your tongue caressed him. You kissed his swollen tip and nuzzled him with your nose before you said, "I want you to fuck me. Right here. In our backyard."
Bradley hauled you to your feet by grabbing your elbows. You squealed with delight, but he hushed you with one hand over your mouth. "I'll give you what you want, but you have to behave. You want our elderly neighbors calling the cops, because they think I'm back here trying to murder you?"
You groaned and licked Bradley's palm, gripping his cock with both hands. "Please, Bradley. Please make it so good that it sounds like that!"
His hand drifted down to your neck, and he led you to the side of the shed, stroking your soft skin as you practically purred for him. His hard dick bounced along, hanging out over his sweatpants as he backed you up against the small building. "Okay."
-----------------------
You were so turned on for him, and you blamed it all on his sweatpants. He had no idea what he was capable of in those things. But without underwear? Bradley Bradshaw should have been illegal. 
And now he had your back pinned against the shed with his huge hand on your neck while he reached into your underwear and started to finger you. 
"Oh," you gasped, admiring the way his aviators were sliding down his nose while you rode his middle finger. The pressure on your throat wasn't enough to hurt, but it was enough to make you feel like you were no longer in charge here. And that feeling excited you. 
Bradley's thumb stroked your clit, and you cried out for him. "Shh, be a good girl," he whispered, kissing your lips one time while his middle finger pressed forward on your most sensitive spot. When you whimpered, he kissed your forehead and said, "Yeah, nice and quiet, Baby Girl. Show me how good you can be."
You kept your little noises as quiet as you could, moving your hips in time with his thumb stroking you. When you were close, Bradley slipped his finger out of you, leaving you whining his name. He spun you to face the shed, yanking your underwear down so the lace brushed along your legs before they hit the ground. You planted both of your palms against the siding as Bradley pulled your dress up to your waist, fully exposing you to any neighbor who could have potentially been a little too nosy. 
"Oh my god," you groaned as Bradley planted his left hand above yours and guided himself inside you with the other. 
"You're so fucking wet." His voice was deep and needy as he fucked you, placing his hand on your pussy. He let you rub yourself against him as he bumped you along with his thrusts. 
"Bradley." The second syllable was much louder than the first, your voice rising in pitch with pleasure. "Fuck!"
"Shh," he scolded once more. "Quiet, or I'll stop."
It was an empty threat, you were sure of it. He must be beyond the point of no return, but just in case, you covered your own mouth with your hand. He had you pinned tight between his pelvis and his palm, grinding against your butt, and holding you in place.
The beautiful friction of his palm had you clenching and cumming as your orgasm washed over you suddenly. "It's so good," you whined, needing both hands on the shed to keep yourself upright. "You're so good, Roo."
The string of obscenities he muttered next to your ear were nowhere near as filthy as his cock slamming into you and filling you with his cum. He used your pussy to drain him of every last drop as you pulsed around him, and when he withdrew, you felt your thighs get coated with his mess.
You spun around to face him, eyes wide. "I can't believe you fucked me in the backyard." Your eyes dipped down to his cock, softening and dripping your mixed ejaculate all over those gray sweatpants. 
He tipped your chin up and looked at you over the top of his aviators. "You tell me you want something, I'm going to give it to you. Especially if it's my cock."
You grinned and kissed him before adjusting his sunglasses. "Let's go inside. We have even more laundry to do now." You tucked him back inside his sweatpants before stepping out of your underwear. "Don't forget those," you said, pointing to the scrap of lace in the grass.
You watched Bradley bend down and pick them up, bringing them up to his nose with a grunt as he followed you inside.
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I hope you enjoyed Rooster's gray sweatpants @thedroneranger
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7ndipity · 6 months
Text
“Nerd”
Yoongi x Reader
Summary: After Yoongi encourages you to go out shopping with his friends as a way of getting to know Seoul, he's surprised to find out what a bookworm you are. (I suck at summaries, lol sorry)
Warnings: swearing,
A/N: Thanks to @vicky-chaos for this request! Tbh, I’m the exact same way as you described yourself, I have more books than I have shelf space for, lol!
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Requests are open
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
“Are you sure you won’t miss me too much?” You asked Yoongi as you pulled on your coat.
“It’s only a few hours, I think I’ll be able to manage.” He smirked, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Go have fun.”
“And you better make sure they get back in one piece.” He warned jokingly, turning to Hobi and Jimin, who’d been watching your whole exchange with amused grins.
“We will, don’t worry.” Hobi promised.
“Yeah, I don’t wanna know what angry Meow Meow looks like.” Jimin sniggered, ducking out the door before Yoongi could swat him, using the nickname for your boyfriend that he’d happened to overhear as they’d arrived eariler.
“Bye.” You said, giving him a quick peck.
“Bye, be safe.” He replied, waving as you and Hobi filed out the door.
It was strange, in a way, after having spent over a year doing the whole ‘long distance’ thing with you(or as he liked to refer to it, “fucking torture”), a couple hours apart while you went shopping with Hobi and Jimin should seem like nothing, but he couldn’t help noticing himself growing a bit antsy for your return as the afternoon passed.
He was still getting used to the fact that you were actually here in Seoul with him, that it wasn’t just a dream when he woke up every morning with you there next to him. Watching you not only settle in, but thrive in his city and with his circle of friends had almost made him fall in love with you all over again.
It was just beginning to grow dark outside when he heard the front door open.
“We’re back.” You called.
He rounded the corner to see Hobi helping you drag several heavy looking shopping bags through the door.
“Where’s Jimin?” Yoongi asked.
“Asleep in the car, Y/n tired him out. I think they could out-shop me.” Hobi chuckled, making you duck your head as you flushed, mumbling out an embarrassed “Shut up.”.
Yoongi grinned, happy to see you and his friend getting along. “Did you at least have fun?” He asked you.
“I did, I found lots of nice things.“ You said as you crouched to greet Holly, who’d been circling your feet excitedly. “What about you Hobi?”
“Yeah, it was a very educational trip.” He said with a grin. ”Are we still on for lunch on Sunday?”
“Definitely.” You nodded.
“I’ll see you then, bye!” He said, giving you and Yoongi a nod before ducking back out the door.
“Bye!”
“See you, Hoba.” Yoongi called, dragging you against him as soon as Hoseok was out of sight.
“I need a kiss.” He said seriously.
“Aha! So you did miss me?” Your face lit up as you grinned at him smugly.
“More than you know.” He mumbled, pressing his lips to yours before you could tease him further, relishing the contented sigh he felt you release at the contact. He loved knowing you were as gone for him as he was for you.
“Now, wanna show me what you got?” He asked, drawing back to look at you.
“Okay!” You nodded, grabbing a few of the bags, before heading for the living room to have more space to unpack everything.
“I got this book on Korean Folklore, I thought it looked interesting.” You explained, settling on the floor and digging through the first bag. “And this one’s about mid-century architecture, I thought you might like it. Ooh, and this one’s been on my wish list for ages, I was soo happy that I found it!”
Yoongi sat watching as you pulled out book after book, and a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth at your excitement.
“Why did you buy two of this one?” He asked suddenly, noticing two identical covers.
“One’s in my native language and the other one’s in Korean, I thought it would help me practice reading Hangul.” You said, not looking up as you continued to rummage in another bag. When you didn’t get a response, you glanced up to see him just staring at you with an amused expression.
“What?” You asked.
“I just didn’t realize you were such a nerd.” He said, chuckling.
“I am not!” You said defensively.
“I’m not making fun of you, I just think it’s cute,” He clarified. “I didn’t realize how much of a bookworm you were.”
“I didn’t mean to buy this many, I just got excited.” You said, feeling slightly self-conscious.
“I like it though, it’s fun seeing you excited.” He said. “It’s also kinda fun knowing there’s still some things we don’t know about each other yet, like little surprises.”
“I thought you didn’t like surprises?” You asked, leaning up to rest your hands on his knees.
“I like you though,” He said, leaning in. “So I’ll make an exception.”
“M’kay.” You grinned, closing the gap between you to catch his lips.
You were more than happy to be his exception, on this and many other things.
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Happy Easter: Dysfuctional Family
Charlie: (blowing a kazoo through the hotel while wearing white bunny ears and tail, carrying an Easter basket, and throwing bright colored and decorated eggs everywhere)
HAPPY EASTER, EVERYONE!!!
Hazbins: (groan collectively)
Vaggie: (slightly distracted by the tail) Hun, love the enthusiasm, but do you even know the purpose of Easter Sunday is?
Charlie: (cracks open a Cadbury egg and siphons out the innards with her tongue) Isn't it just an excuse to binge on chocolate and snuggle fluffy little bunnies and ducklings?
Angel: (clutches his pearls in ex-Catholic Italian horror) Mama Mia!
Lucifer: *Squeeeeee!* I'll be right back!
Vaggie: I guess that's a more corporate way to put it.
Angel: That's IT!!! I'm making my Mama's Italian Easter Bread! Charlie, you need to be schooled on Easter!
Alastor: Hmmm... I suppose if we're doing a full celebration, I can do a little something to liven things up. (Snaps his fingers, and everyone's clothes are transformed into various colored Bunny footie pajamas)
Charlie: (wearing hot pink bunny jammies and twirls) Oooooh! These are so cuuuute!
Vaggie: (in pastel lavender pajamas and snarling) Cabron!
Angel: (sneaky smirk as he wears a pastel pink and white two-piece pajama suit) Oh, Smiiiiiiles?
Alastor: (simply wearing red bunny ears) No.
Angel: C'mon! Hear me out! (Whispers in Alastor's ear)
Alastor: Hmmmmm.... I'll allow it! (Snaps his fingers again)
Vaggie: (baggy bunny jammies suddenly transform into a black and velvet purple, Las Vegas Showgirl bunny suit with white tail and ears, fishnets, and heels with purple wrist cuffs)
Angel: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! LOOKING GOOD, VAGS!!!!
Vaggie: (growls and tries to cover herself) FUCKING-A, ANGEL!!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TELL HIM?!?!?!
Angel: Does it matter? I don't have a soul to sell. (Sees Charlie) Ha! Might wanna focus on your girlfriend, Toots.
Vaggie: What? (Looks at Charlie)
Charlie: (blushing, heart eyes, panting like a puppy, and her pajamas turned into a similar Showgirl suit but red with fox ears and tail)
Vaggie: Ch-Charlie? Charlie! No. No! Charlotte Morningstar, we are in front of guests! Shit! (Runs down the hallway)
Charlie: (hearts explode around her head) Hippity-Hoppity, that ass is my property! (Gives chase)
...........
Vaggie: (rounds back around the corner while carrying Charlie bridal style) Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Lucifer: (rides in on a tidal wave of fluff infused rubber duckies while wearing yellow ducky footie pajamas with orange webbed feet) RELEASE THE QUACKEN!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Alastor: (sighs in aroace exhaustion as a random rubber duck bounces off his head)
Angel: (slowly calming down as he wipes a tear from his eye) It's just like home~
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🐇 Deuce Spade Easter Headcanons 🐇
In light of it being Easter Sunday, I decided to compile a list of Easter themed headcanons for our local baby chick boy
Also, quick word of warning - I’ve never celebrated Easter before so I deeply apologise if any of this is offensive. I just thought that the whole aesthetic of chicks, eggs and bunnies would go really well with Deuce and wanted to write about that
Reader is female
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Since Spring has sprung, you decided to tell Deuce about a holiday from your world and him being the sweetheart he is, wanted to recreate it with you here in Twisted Wonderland
🐣 Imagine decorating Easter eggs with him, just having a blast in Ramshackle, with old newspapers covering the surface of the dining table and a bunch of paints spread out. Deuce takes this very seriously, scrunching his nose up in concentration as a shaky hand carefully applies paint to each egg. You did have a wonderful time coming up with different designs but then Ace got wind of your little date and whined about you playing favourites (“Of course, she’s playing favourites - I’m her boyfriend!”) so the next day your entire first year squad (+ Ortho) all decided to decorate Easter eggs so you ended up with a range of colourful mismatched eggs that were worth their weight in gold.
🐣 MATCHING EASTER THEMED OUTFITS. Like obviously you’d have chick themed outfits but imagine also bunny themed outfits as well with him. Of course, you have to deal with Leona’s teasing about how you look even more like a herbivore now but you kind of predicted that. Also, you send every single picture that you take of you and Deuce to his mother (that you are having constant conversations with) and whilst Deuce is so unbelievably happy that his two favourite people are getting along so well, he could do with a little less gushing about him.
🐣 Speaking of Easter outfits, imagine making Easter bonnets together, using a hot glue gun to stick on little bits and bobs like tiny chicks, bunnies and fake flowers
🐣 You handmake him homemade chocolates that are shaped like little baby chicks and bunnies. He loves them so much that he doesn’t even want to eat them, only to get slapped on the head by Ace for being a whipped idiot
🐣 You, Deuce and the rest of the first (minus Jack) totally don’t get food comas from eating too many chocolate eggs at once, by the way
🐣 You already have a habit of making him cute bento boxes or adorable looking omurice dishes, but you decided to go the extra mile and put little chick figurines inside each one. Deuce feels like he’s going to cry - he loves you so much.
🐣 You get him a bunch of those wind up chick toys - the bright eyed smile on his face outshined the sun
🐣 You organise an Easter egg hunt inside Ramshackle, consisting of chocolate eggs, the eggs you decorated and plastic eggs with little toys inside and let the first years go wild
🐣 The two of you go on dates to petting zoos so that you could hang around with actual chicks and bunnies in a safe environment and also go on picnics in the park where you feed nearby ducks (not bread. Bread is not a safe food for ducks to eat.)
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