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annetteblog · 3 years

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I spent January 1 watching YoI and it’s the best way to start a new year, I guess

So, yes, after all these years I finally watched Yuri on Ice. The biggest thanks to all people, who recommended me to do it, because it was amazing :)

Now, beware of my incoherent rambling about the characters, the plot, figure skating, Victuri (Victuuri?), LGBTQ+ representation, and Russia, just because I need this 🙃

First of all, I had never thought that one day I would end up having a crush on a Russian man, but here I am, having crush on a Russian 2D man. Victor Nikiforov, how dare you steal my heart like this! He’s some kind of a damn Russian Apollo... So I perfectly understand Yuri’s gay panic in the first couple of episodes 🤣 dude, I feel you.....

What I specifically liked about the characters, it’s their growth. They were not frozen, but gradually developed to become more mature towards the end. Victor becoming less selfish, more compassionate and empathic; Yuri becoming mentally stronger and more confident. And Yurio... he’s such a lovely pirozhochek!!! :D Really, this “I-am-strong-and-independent-grown-up” kid with his love to pirozhki is just 🥰 But yes, he also mentally grew.

For me as a Russian, it was a pleasure to see normal Russian characters in a foreign show. They were talented and nice, wow, that really happened!!! Honestly, I’m so sick of this “bad-drinking-vodka-prison-tatoos-nucklear-weapon-terrible-accent” narrative (I watched Tenet the other day, and I was literally sitting like this 😐 the entire film; they forgot to add a bear for the full picture). And normal Cyrillic! Not perfect or 100% correct, but at least it was readable and understandable, not just a classic American movie with a Russian text, which looks like this - зжэщгардгрвъ шщыралойцы фвзпролдрппппп (yes, I just hit my keyboard). The same applies to the athletes from other countries. Kazakhstan!! Otabek!!!!

I also needed to pause one of the episodes just to scream at this

Aeroflot (rus - Аэрофлот) is a Russian airline. And yeah, it sucks 😄

But seriously, you can clearly see that they did their research, cared for details and payed attention to things, and I, as a foreign viewer, really appreciated this. I really hope, that one beautiful day shows’ producers start to make characters from different cultures, who are just... you know... ordinary normal people? and not just a bunch of stereotypes?? or necessarily devilish evil just because they are from another country???

And now, the ship!

I’m not really familiar with a lot of anime, and definitely not familiar with genres like yaoi, although I’ve heard about its stereotypes and certain common patterns. Here, however, it was a pleasure to see a same-sex relationship, which was not just a cool fetish for some young straight girls (nothing against young straight girls), but like... an actual relationship? Plus the creators successfully embedded it into the main plot, without shifting the central focus of the show and abandoning the actual sport competitions.

I really enjoyed the delicate approach to the relationship’s development. Considering the characters’ own path of progress, the relationship they formed were equal and mature. Also their care and clear tenderness towards each other were speaking louder than words.

Sidenote. I had never realized how much I needed a Russian non-straight character in my life until, well, yesterday. Thankfully, I had the Internet since I was around 11, so I spent my teenage years watching a lot of American/ West-European tv-series. LGBTQ+ representation was not something out of the ordinary, it was not a taboo; and it mattered to me, a young girl, who tried to figure out what the F was going on with my own self. But I had never seen a Russian LGBTQ+ fictional character on the screen. Ever. Honestly, I had never payed attention to this fact. Normally I don’t really care about a person’s nationality, so I couldn’t even think that having some queer character, who is Russian, would be somehow important to me. As it turned out yesterday, it was actually important. And, I guess, one of the deeply personal reasons why I liked YoI, was the fact of seeing someone from my own country and my own culture, who was non-straight and being just fine and perfect the way he was. Even though I’m not a struggling young girl anymore.

Okay, back to the tale, before I become a teary mess again.

Their relationship was heartwarming to watch. Although there were clearly some sexual undertones, it didn’t end up being just some sexy gay boys. It was definitely about the growth of love, firstly fragile but becoming stronger and more affectionate with time. Their bond became psychologically equal; and they do complement each other, being codependent in the best sense. And it was beautiful.

However, from what I quickly gathered while reading a few comments, some people still claimed that there was not enough clarity in terms of their relationship?? I have to disagree with this completely. Excuse me, but you don’t exchange matching golden rings in a church with your friend to wear it on your ring finger. You definitely don’t passionately kiss it seconds before an important performance. And you don’t cry your eyes out if your friend suggests you to end your partnership. If you do, I have some news for you, dear 🤡

I honestly can’t figure out what kind of a bigger clarity some people want. If the same plot was shown between a man and a woman, you would get the message from the episode 1. Or at least from that episode, where they were naked making out i mean...... practicing some moves?? wtf it was, honestly, I was too busy laughing 😆 However, seriously, what do you need? Is this really necessary to show an R-rated sex scene for some people just to get it? Lame.

Sure, YoI was not perfect. Some bits with figure skating were off, and there was some obvious magic going on in terms of homophobia, more specifically - its absence. I mean, I’m not an expert in LGBTQ+ rights in Japan (although I know it’s not that great), but if a Russian figure skater came out or just had some kind of (publicly known) unidentified close relationship with a same-sex partner, their successful career would be over. And not just Russian, I guess, any figure skater would face similar problems. It’s a very conservative sport.

But, actually, I was grateful that they showed it the way they did. Fairytale-ish. A show doesn’t have to be realistic to be great. It’s enough if it warms our hearts and gives hope to the brighter future. The real world may be cruel and unjust, but we all need kind and reassuring stories to keep us going. And such story about caring relationship and love is the great example of this.

Lovely, funny, refreshing, and heartwarming.

Or, just quoting Victor

vkusno!!! (c)

😄

I will definitely rewatch it at some points in my life.

and now excuse me, I need to fall into the rabbit hole of fanfiction, haha stupid me

P.S.

This moment was

hot

#yuri on ice #figure skating #victor nikiforov #yuri katsuki #yuri plisetsky #anime #victuri #victuuri #yoi #lgbtq #lgbtq representation #lgbtq relationships #not km related #long post

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joyrose-fandomer · 3 years

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Please, don’t fall for me (Sanders Sides fantasy school AU) Chap 3

Relationships : Future (Prinxiety, Intrological, Mocite, Platonique Moxiety and platonique Analogical)

POV : Virgil

TW : Water, Manipulation

Previous<<

------------------------------------

Virgil couldn't focus on anything after that.

He kept looking at the pamphlet and the folded paper on his laps.

The pamphlet showed a picture of a big white building. It looked like a bad copy of Harvard.

It was named "Pine hills High school and College of art, sport and science" which was long for nothing and boring like literally any school.

But most importantly, it looked pricy. So Virgil looked around the pamphlet but he couldn't find any price anywhere.

Tss, of course, they wouldn't.

It said on the pamphlet that the school had good infrastructure and good results in every sportive, artistic and scientific field. That it had 100% chance for the student to have a diploma and list several students that became important.

Virgil didn't know any of those names and most importantly, never heard of that school.

On the other hand, the folded paper was a lot less fancy. There was no picture only a name and a few commentaries.

It didn't look official in any way. In fact, it was very obvious that Remy had written everything.

But it gave a strange feeling, like the ink and paper weren't normal. Like it could disappear at any moment if Virgil stopped looking at it or if anyone else looked at it.

He knew it didn't make much sense, but he could swear that he saw the words glitter from time to time.

"The Argus school" was the name written on the paper.

"School for young magical creatures to learn how to control their powers in safety."

So, like a school of magic? When did Virgil step into Harry Potter?

It was so cliché and suspicious, Remy was surely messing with him.

What if it was all an elaborate prank?

What if it was a kidnapping technic and Virgil was falling straight for it?

Should he call the police?

Would they believe him?

But what if it was not a joke?

It was so unrealistic but it explained so many things...

That day when school ended Virgil didn't directly go home.

He went to the pool.

"Hello, do you have a ticket ?"

The young women at the entrance asked.

Oh. Well, he needed to confirm that too eventually.

The high school boy took a deep breath.

"No, I forgot...sorry"

Her voice was suddenly a lot softer.

"It's ok, I can give you one. It's 7$"

Alright, he won't have to meet her again, he could do it.

He took off his mask and hood

"I'm sorry miss. I forgot to bring money"

She blinked like she was trying to adjusted her eyes after being flashed with a stong light.

"Alright, I will take your name and you can pay later"

"Wait really?" Virgil exclaimed, not expecting the woman to actually let him get away with it so easily.

The woman smiled. "Yes, but don't tell anyone, I'm not supposed to do that. So what's your name ?"

"Virgil Apkallu"

"That's an interesting name could you spell it ?"

Virgil spelled his name like he always did. Before remembering an important fact.

"I don't have my swimsuit!"

She laughed. Virgil couldn't blame her, he really didn't think that through.

"Do you want to go home to pick it up?"

If he got home it would be too late, his father wouldn't let him go back out again.

He looked up at the women. Making eye contact with someone for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

"If I go home I don't know if I would be able to come back..."

She froze and thought for a bit before walking away and coming back with her wallet.

"Here, go to the dispenser and get yourself a swimsuit"

"Wha- but it's your money, I can't"

"It's fine kid, it's just 2$. Now go before we close"

Virgil sighed and bought simple black shorts. He thanked the woman and she let him get in.

He felt guilty. He knew he didn't ask her to do all that and she was the one who insisted. But he couldn't help but feel like he manipulated that woman.

But it's what he was trying to do, didn’t he ?

The pool was empty. It was late and during fall it was too cold to go swimming.

The pool attendants weren't here, probably thinking that no one would come at that hour.

So Virgil had the water for himself.

Time to get it over with.

The good thing with being an anxious mess like Virgil is that you end up collecting techniques to get rid of disillusions.

Often the biggest disillusions were the hardest to get rid of. It's the ones that make the less sense.

Like thinking everyone you meet want to kill you, or that your parents were secretly robots.

But the good thing is. The bigger they are the easier it is to prove your brain wrong.

If you don't turn into a wolf under the full moon, you're not a werewolf.

If you don't have magic powers you're not a witch.

And if you can't breathe underwater you're not a siren.

A normal human can't survive underwater for more than 5 minutes, a trained diver can stay at best 12 minutes.

Virgil only had to stay underwater until he felt the huge to breathe.

If he could stay underwater for longer than that without needing to go out to breathe then... haha no, it was stupid last time he was just confused because he fell into the pool in the middle of a panic attack.

He will be out in a few seconds.

He slowly went down the stairs. The water was colder than he remembered.

It was probably reckless to test that alone but at least no-one was here to stop him.

Once he was in, the cold was a lot more bearable. In fact, it was numbing pleasantly.

The only swimmer went around the pool using the border to hold himself. But he didn't really need it, it was mostly the lack of confidence.

Eventually, he let go of the side of the pool and swam to the center of the water.

He felt free. Like floating in space. Swiming was so easy, it was second nature.

Virgil set the timer at 0.

And go !

He let himself sink.

The echoes of the empty room, the lapping of the water, the far-away cars.

It all dissolved into silence.

The golden hue of the sunset reflected all around, slithering in the water like hundreds of glowing vines.

Virgil was still holding his nose under the water but he didn't feel the need to breathe. Actually, he was already breathing.

He brushed the side of his neck. His skin was taking off but it didn't hurt.

He breathed in.

Water entered the gap in his neck.

He breathed out.

Water went out of the gap.

Gills.

He never had gills. Since when did he had gills?

He let go of all the air he was holding in a string of bubbles.

He watched them float away. Reflecting the sunlight, making them shine the away fairy lights would.

Bright and clear.

When he tried to breathe through the nose, the airway seemed blocked and he ended up breathing by his Gilles again.

He was breathing underwater. He could see underwater.

He could see and breathe better than on land.

His hair fell on his face.

He could see his own eyes reflecting in them like a mirror and his eyes reflected his hair the same way.

This was new. Usually, they were both jet black.

He swam to one of the Hublot around the pool.

His hair reflected the pool around, perfectly merging with the water like they were trying their hardest to disappear. His eyes were hardly any better. They were glossy and blue with gold lights just like the water around.

Usually, his eyes were so dark he could barely see his pupils well now that his eyes were different... He still couldn't. Apparently, his pupils also got this mirror effect.

This one was probably not a new thing. The boy could remember every time someone had the great idea of pointing a flashlight at him only to scream because his pupils were shining like a wild animal.

The confused boy swam around.

It was so simple, like taking a walk around the park.

So peaceful,

So comfortable,

So pretty,

So safe,

It felt like home.

Virgil didn't know how much time he spent here. He didn't want to look at the timer.

He didn't want to walk. He didn't want to choke on air. He didn't want to feel the pressure of the world.

This was where he belonged. He was happy.

He didn't want to go.

He looked up. The golden light turned silver.

It was night. He needed to go home.

With a sigh, the half siren swam out. Posing the timer but not looking at it.

Everything was so heavy out there. Virgil dresses up slowly and difficultly. His clothes stuck to him and made moving even harder.

Taking a deap breath of his inhaler and dragging himself away from the pool.

The woman looked surprised that he was still here but she still waved him goodby with a smile.

The cold autumn wind gave him a headache, the boy hid his wet hair in is hood and walked.

By the time he arrived home, his body was freezing.

His mind bearly felt anything.

"Do you have any idea how late it is?

I was so worried! Where were you ?!"

His father immediately yelled when he opened the door.

Virgil stayed silent. He didn't feel guilty, just, empty.

He walked around mindlessly, working only on muscle memory. His father still yelling behind him but he couldn't hear anything.

When he took off his hood his father went silent and stared at him wearily.

"Virgil, why are you soaked ?"

His son took a deep breath and locked eyes with his parent with a serious expression.

"Dad. Who is my mother ?"

***<>============<>***

Sorry, the story didn’t advence a lot this chapter, I really just wanted to right water again ! (^u^’)

Tag list : @angstysunshine @sander-sides-fics

@moments-of-selves @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes (I still don’t know if you want me to tag you or not so if you want me to stop just tell me ok ? (^u^))

#sanders sides fanfiction #fanfiction #sanders side au #virgil sanders #sander sides

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deepdarkdelights · 3 years

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Hello love! I’m the one who wrote to you about the potential inspo for a story. Again you can throw it away or use it, it doesn’t matter haha. I just truly enjoy your writing so I thought that if anybody could make something out of nothing, it would be you. Anyways, I was inspired by the picture above. Oh and I was going to send you this anonymously, but then the picture wouldn’t have been saved (and I’m super shy about this lol, seriously I’m blushing).

Story Begins:

The world holds its secrets, and I hold mine. Deception is never formed by intention, it’s mere collateral damage based off promises and dreams of distant futures.

My dreams were based off my family at first. Based off my brother and mother. Based off the memory of my sister.. But that’s all in the past, and now that I’ve awoken from the imagery of delusional hope. I’m left to deal with the cost of my deception.

—————————————————————

“Mr.Kim, I see you’re yet to finish you’re meal. Oh my! You couldn’t even have a bite?!” The petite young woman shrieking at the untouched meal moved forward to retreat the “warm” mushroom soup that was meant to be in the belly of her boss by now.

With a heavy sigh “Mr.Kim” turns around in his chair. Face still in concentration from whatever is in his hands, he reaches toward his cup of coffee (the only thing for consumption that didn’t occupy too much time).

His secretary stood in front of him speechless at his lack of response. Yes Mr. Kim was young for his profession, his grayish blueish strands contrasting from the dark wool of his turtleneck, his glasses modestly framed to his face, and shiny gold watch that clung to his wrist all precedent to what would be considered a young bachelor -but no, instead this demeanor belonged to a top detective in the field of criminal justice.

From what Jisoo, his secretary knew of him, he was a very bright and professional detective. She was aware of his battle with prostitution rings in South Korea, who’s successful case landed him a job in the New York station of private affairs and criminal justice, where he also succeeded in bringing down one of the most influential law firms for the involvement of illegal transactions and drug smuggling. His work on the field had provided him with a private, yet comfortable life. Not long after his station in the New York City department of justice, he and a couple of team members were asked to work for the The General Directorate for Internal Security in France.

“Jisoo, I know we both were born in Korea, but could you please drop the formalities? I’ve known you for 3 years now “, said the heavy voice in the chair.

At this Jisoo felt a pang if guilt for her earlier charade. Mr.Ki-Na..Namjoon’s voice sounded tired. ‘Of course he is’, she thought to herself. He had spent the last 2 years and a half perusing an unamed organization whos’ motive was unclear, but actions centered around the illegal transaction of money.

“Jisoo? Are you even listening?” The young secretary looks up, “Sorry what was that?”

“I guess I’m not the only one who has had a rough day. I asked you.. am i not a nice person?” At this Jisoo meets the eyes of Namjoon without hesitation.

“What?”

“Have I been mean to you in anyway? Have I thrown your sandwiches out or made fun of those ridiculous pens you bring to work?” He asks with his eyebrows comically lifted.

Jisoo, finally understanding where he is getting at responds, “Not until this point you haven’t”.

“See! We even banter for crying out loud! If that doesn’t scream friendship I don’t know what does!” Namjoon is practically out of breath delivering his sermon on how good of a friend he had been throughout the past three years until it gets to the point where Jisoo has listened to it twice.

“Okay, okay! Enough... friend”, it’s not that she dislikes thinking of Namjoon as a friend, but more of the fact that she doesn’t perfer to associate herself in that aspect with any of her coworkers -much less higher ups. Her lack of attachment also has to do with the fact that back home, in the same position she stands today, she had seen a handful of her beloved coworkers in caskets in no less than 5 weeks of knowing them. However, despite all of this, she can’t deny that Namjoon has acted out the role of a bigger brother during her stay in France, especially in the sense of bringing her Korean food from one particular restaurant on the outskirts of the city. Their relationship has always been comfortable and despite his undeniably handsome features, there was no physical attraction between them... it was nice.

“Okay now say it with enthusiasm, as if you actually like me. Come on FRRI- “ all the sudden the phone rings. Jisoo turns to quickly take her exit, but not before she hears a curse from the man who was a second away from singing the friends theme song.

‘Namjoon i really hope you don’t come close to catching these guys’ she silently prays. She knows the consequences of bringing justice, she’s seen the red splatter that the name decorated itself with.

—————————————————————

“Joon this just turned from a fraud to a murder scene. We are not just talking about big investments, but the murder of two prime ministers and the chief of justice in Germany.”

Namjoon looks at his fellow detective and reaches out for the stack of papers near his desktop. “What did Germany say?”

Yoongi, his literal partner in (fighting) crime answers with a simple, “jack shit”. “They don’t believe it’s connected”.

“Then why do we?” Namjoon at this point is at a dead end yet again. This same secret organization has plagued his office walls, desk, and even bed for almost three years. It’s normal for a case such as this one to take time, but when your teammates and you are specifically placed in an international office for one specific case, it gets a bit frustrating.

“Because.. both the German officer and the Prime Minister in Bordeaux had their tounges taken out.”

“What!?” Had this been any other criminal investigation, this piece of information would not have surprised Namjoon. This however was not just any case, for the duration of his stay in France, and the additional years he was not assigned to this area, this was the first similarity between the crimes. Whoever these people were, made sure to not leave a single message, nor fingerprint, nor act of pride that would give them away. It was almost as if these crimes were committed themselves, and the world was forced to accept it for the time being.

OKAY IT IS GARBAAGGÉÉ, but hey if it works as inspo I’m all for it. Oh by the way, the first part is from jungkook’s perspective. When I initially started I thought about there being a mysterious “sister” aka y/n (didn’t plan out how or why she disappeared yet lol), and because I’m a garden hoe for yandere, I thought about making jungkook slowly progress into a ridonculous yandere. As you can see it’s a bit all over the place. But anyways, I freaking love your writing and throw this away or change it up or use it as it is, it’s all yours.

Ps. Love ya

Hello my lovely!

First off, I am so proud of you for being brave and sending this off of anon! I know how vulnerable that can be, so thank you really for feeling comfortable enough to do so!

Secondly, omfg you have skill! Like I was getting into it and I legit screeched when I realized there wasn't more to read! You did so well sweetie!

Moving on, I really enjoyed this, I don't think you realize just how much skill and potential you have as a writer. I want to read more please!

I do really like this as a concept, although I am coming off of an investigator Joon fic so I think I would need to take a break from that theme lol.

I would like to talk about this more if you're up to it, I think you should pursue this idea because it has great foundations. Let's talk more please you little genius you!

P.S. (ILY TOO 💜💜💜)

#asks #send me asks #inspo #really this was so good #you are a talented writer that I want to see more from #please and thank you #lets talk more!

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moonstone27ls · 3 years

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Ducktales finale spoilers

You’ve been warneddddddddd

Warning

Warning you againnnn

Sooo Ducktales will be ending soon my thoughts? Not as sad as when compared to Rise of the TMNT, Venture Bros, Brooklyn 99 (though it had a good run considering), Drunk History, Dark Crystal Age of Resistance. Though there are rumors Darkwing Duck is gonna be rebooted.... uhh maybe excited? I'd say maybe becauseeeee again its on a streaming service... and no for anyone's future question don't have Disney+ and have no intention of getting it why? Cause I'm broke/on a budget and I can't buy every stupid streaming service for the sake of a few shows.

But I'm getting off topic the show in general... sorta sad but sorta not. I'll be honest some eps of Ducktales in the last season didn't fit well with me. Some felt uhh very cliche/or readable, some felt kid dumb (but its a kids show so you're gonna get a few of those more than once), some felt like they were uhh if I had to compare like when you'd watch Adventure Time and you'd be "WTF was that one for". I wouldn't say dark you're just "that one felt random". Sometimes thats not bad but heh depends on the taste.

There are a few things disappointed we didn't get to see one Donald & Della's ACTUAL parents interacting with their children, GRANDCHILDREN. Don't get me wrong their interactions with Scrooge was nice but we barely got one ep with family that WASN'T him. You'd think given what dangerous work they were involved with we'd see a flashback or actual talk of their parents talking to them. Especially with Della being a single mother oO. Kinda feel it slightly unrealistic that they'd just sit and do nothing (and no there's no sign they're dead so they should be around) when their daughter disappeared into space. I mean maybe it'd been nice to see a few eps of past Donald getting advice from his mother Hortense how to raise the triplets. Heck would have like to see Hortense & Matilda's relationship.

Second the triplets father would had been nice oO. Yes he does have a father. All these fan ships but no one actually wondering "hey who's the boys father?".

Third would had been nice to see more of Violet's family life. I mean whats the point of giving her "dads" if they never have a role beyond background character. Heck would had been nice to see a day of Violet and Lena's life with their fathers. Yes probably to the viewers it probably would had been boring but whatever 8B.

Four uhh I dunno explore space more? Maybe actually see some of Moon's home. I'll be honest that episode of "Moonlander on Earth" ep always bugged me. While I could believe some of the moon aliens wanted to stay on earth. I'm not convinced an entire planet thought Earth was so amazing they'd just stay there forever. People are fickle things, I can believe some wanted to stay like a vacation. But I feel at some point some, like Penny wanted to just go home. And I always found it... disturbing that no one attempted to really listen (no I don't count Webby cause that was written more of an experience lesson than "oh I miss home"). I mean the McDucks have all the money in the world, thats how Scrooge spent almost all his fortune finding Della. I'm just not convinced Scrooge and them thought "Hey we got extra rockets if they wanna go home we'll let them". No it was "oh they'll never get home, lets not bothering asking or giving them those extra resources. I think the show MISSED a good opportunity to let Penny go home (as well as others). And since Fenton or Gyro are often considered so smart they couldn't make a special teleport device JUST for them or ways to keep communicating with the moon. Thus meaning they could have explored space. And while some might argue "yes we needed Penny for the finale" (minor spoiler). She didn't DO anything she and Goldie were mostly used for cameo purposes. Sooo wasted use there.

Hmm anything else.... would have LIKED to seen more eps with Gandra/Fenton but hey if that Darkwing Duck spinoff is a thing maybeeee Gizmoduck will make special appearances and Gandra/Fenton can double date with Morgana & Drake(yes I wanted her to make an appearance I liked her goth look). Uhhh I don't think we ever got a Selene & Della interaction. (So far no eps were really... well friendship stuff. I mean I got a small fraction (if that) with Gods on the Block ep but it was near the literal END)

Also wish we could had more from the old show cameos Kit/Molly, Rescue Rangers, Goofy... pft plus I'll be honest before the show ended would had loved an actual cameo of Goofy, Mickey & Donald just alll together. Pfttt omg I would had loved a Max & Roxanne cameo date/wedding (yes I shipped them). Haha more interactions would had been fun. And while I enjoyed the Talespin sorta crossover... could had more (and yes sorta ship Kit/Della. heh sorta more of a crackship haha). And lets be honest that Molly cameo was wasted potential. I mean would had been cool to see Baloo & Becky. Though I understand to a degree why we didn't. At least with Baloo. But ahh well what can you do.

And same with Daisy and Donald buttttt gonna take some of the finale as something. I'm just gonna say it left enough for my imagination to think "they're having a happily ever after soon". Uhh another minor spoiler with Ludwig revealed not to be dead (which I'm glad)... just disappointed he wasn't in the credits or given more interactions with Scrooge. Yeah I know they weren't BEST friends or anything but I dunno I do associate them as friends.

Anything else... uhhh would had been nice to see more of Boyd and Doofus family moments too. I mean I dunno consideringgggg that life probably was better for Doofus' parents now that they had an ACTUAL loving child. Be nice to have seen more scenes. I mean heck that last ep with Doofus... uhh jumping? I assume it meant Doofus had closure and accepted his fate? So I dunno would had been good to see him and Boyd bond more. Heck I'd like to have seen his parents' telling Gyro in finale (yes minor spoiler) take care of "our" son.

Nowww onto the finale gonna put spoilers soo warning here.... as for the finale it was... good. I'm not gonna say "Oh it was the best everrrrrrrr". Nah it was pretty good given their budget or whatever. Yeah some felt rushed and all those cameos while I appreciate the thought felt wasted potential. I mean I get why budget/timing etc. Just saying you know could had some Goldie/Scrooge moments, more Lena & Violet, Webby friendship stuff. I mean heck when they were all "released" (and judging by that cube system) there was a lot we don't really see where they go or how the Ducktales group got everyone where they originally belonged.

What did I think of Webby's so called surprise... uhh mixed. Bigger picture wise kinda explained that need to be so clingy. To a degree I sorta agree with the split fans I like it and I don't like it. But I get it the writers NEEDED something for shock value cause lets face it they ran everything else. I say a part of me didn't like it cause I was kinda hoping this version would show us Webby's real parents. And I'm not fully convinced that photo was just a fake or some random relatives Beakley took to shut her up.

I think she sounded genuine when she said "I missed a lot". I admit when the whole "oh she's made from FOWL" was becoming obvious. I thought Beakley was subtly hinting that her daughter made Webby. I dunno could see that happening seeing that this whole ep was hinting at adults who did NOT think of their actions effects (yeap Scrooge, Della's choice to go on that rocket, Bradford's granny traumatizing the dummy), I thought "Ohh sooo she felt neglect and rebelled or fell for the enemy". But anyways yeah I still think Beakley probably DID have a daughter. Where is she? I dunno, thats kinda the whole point. Either she died or like Donald did with Scrooge, broke away from her family. I really believe whatever the reason, her daughter's gone from her life and Beakley deeply regrets she wasn't a more attentive mother. She probably to a degree saw Webby as her second chance to do better by her.

Hmmm lets see anything else.... as dark as it was with what Bradford did... not really shocked. And while he was obviously a villain I think his background did prove a point. But I could be thinking of Dean Venture and Dr Venture's childhood. Not every kid is built or for that matter wants an adventure life. Bradford was a product of his well intentional but neglectful family. Had the triplets or Donald not wanted this life that could had been them. Thankfully it wasn't 8B.

I admit the part with the villians at the end was quiet surprising. Not because they turned him into a bird pft. But because technically they saved Scrooge but heh I get it, chalk it up to either "they don't like to be used" or "Bradford was so terrible he was beneath even their level". Just somewhat made me wish Magica could have found Poe or something (I liked his design and voice actor).

And super glad we didn't really lose a lot of villains. I dunno I wanted Phantom Blot & Pepper to escape, fight another day stuff. And I kinda think to a degree thats why we saw that dumbed-down clone of Bradford. He's gone but that clone could get "smarted" up to stir more trouble 8B. Maybe I dunno.

Heh but all in all I enjoyed this finale. Its was wayyyy better than Star and Tangled's finale, no flippin' drama :P. I mean I suppose you could call Donald & Daisy leaving drama? but no not really cause literally none of this bothered me. The credits kinda gave me that nostalgia of how this show got so much attention. So while it was rushed maybe and it had its flaws. All in all it kept up with the heart. Soo I enjoyed the credits a lot good way to say goodbye

(just putting that gif there cause I liked it 8B)

Anything else....KEITH FREAKING DAVID, another reason to give this finale a point best flipping part I’m just sad I have no gif to use XD

#finale #Ducktales #Disney #Ducktales spoilers

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honestlyfragile · 4 years

Text

Directions - Bang Chan x Reader Oneshot

Genre: fluff, Bang Chan x Female Reader

Were dating apps really effective or do you just end up with the same person again?

It had been a while since y/n dated anyone, she was starting to question why. But leaves out the only reason out of many that she had in mind.

She hasn’t tried to meet new people.

She didn’t know how, she didn’t want to either. God, y/n surely doesn’t know how to pick a struggle. Gladly, her friends have had enough of seeing her complain about being single for the longest time. So they recommend her to go try out something that she hasn’t before. A dating app.

“Eh, I’m not sure.. What if there’s too many creeps?” Y/n hesitates.

“How bad can it be? You can use a fake name or something. A stranger wouldn’t be able to track you down. Just try to see if it works for you. If they ask you out to meet, then we’ll come with you to back up.” Jiwoo, her best friend assures her.

“Hmm, okay. I’ll set up an account later and I’ll let you guys know.”

“It’s about time, y/n. You can’t be miserably complaining to us that you’re still single if you’re not willing to try. Leave him behind already.”

Y/n nods and sighs. She couldn’t let the thought of him hold her back anymore. Besides, he probably has someone new by now.

------

As soon as Y/n gets some time for herself at home she installs Tinder. The app that her friends had recommended her to try. She fills out the necessary information, making her display name different from her real one. She selects pictures that she thinks are good enough, but not too daring. And after a few instructions, she begins to look over the information of the guys that were being recommended to her. Unfortunately she had gone over through about 10 of them already and none had suited her taste. But maybe it was just her being impatient.

“No way.” She says to herself as she stops in one person’s profile, eyeing it over and over.

It turns out it was the profile of her ex boyfriend, Chan. Which catches her by surprise because she wondered why he was in that app. Could it be for the same reason as to why she’s in it as well?

Y/n giggles to herself, and decides to pull a harmless prank by swiping right on his profile. Which basically means that she has intentions to match with him. That is, if he does the same.

She shakes her head and snaps out of it. It had been a while since she had seen anything related to him, they were busy growing up. She had deleted him off her other socials too. She scrolls through a couple more profiles and swiped right on some just for the heck of it.

She thinks that was enough for the day and sets her phone down to work on chores at home. She also whips up herself a good dinner as a cheers to the weekend.

-----

“What is she doing here?” Chan thinks to himself. Well, if he thinks hard enough it’s just probably for the same reason as his. Looking for a date, or something casual.

“Yo, y/n is on Tinder, but with a different name. Look” He shows Han her profile and he takes a quick look at it.

“It’s probably a catfish.” He shrugs.

“But she hasn’t posted these pictures anywhere though..”

“How’d you know? You still stalk her huh?” His friend laughs.

Embarrassed, Chan quickly tries to deny it. But fails.

He does, he checks her instagram every now and then, thankful that she had not set her account to private otherwise he wouldn’t be able to get a glimpse of y/n anywhere else. Why did he have the app on his phone? Simply to try and move on, but he never does. He would match with a handful, but end up ghosting them anyway.

Tip number one: never ever be with your mischievous friend and on Tinder at the same time. It doesn’t go well.

“WHAT WAS THAT FOR?” Chan yells at Han in panic, who has just cheekily swiped right on y/n’s profile.

“Had to decide for you man. You were taking too long!”

“What the hell.”

“What?” “We just fucking matched!”

------

Y/n receives a notification that she had just matched with someone on Tinder, she smiles in delight until it fades because it was the person who she expected the least.

Chan.

She didn’t know if she felt embarrassed or not. Also the fact that her ex probably saw that it wasn’t her real name was cringe worthy enough.

Should she unmatch and delete her whole account or should she say hi since they were already on it? Y/n thankfully goes for the latter.

“Hey” she sends.

And as if it wasn’t any more obvious, Chan was keeping an eye on his phone and the notification made him jump a little.

“Are you really y/n?” He replies almost instantly.

“Yes. Haha I know it’s silly but i just used a fake name for safety reasons.”

“Oh, alright so why are you here?”

“I should be asking you the same.”

“I asked first.”

“Probably for the same reasons as yours.”

“Yeah right. Anyways, since we’re at it.. Um you wanna get some coffee sometime?”

“You don’t drink coffee though?”

“You still remember. I’ll have something else as always. So, Holly’s? Is Sunday afternoon alright”

“Sure, I’ll see you I guess.”

“Great.”

His heart races, he didn’t know if he was excited or terrified. But it would be an asshole for him to flake. He initiated to meet with her, so he shouldn’t be a wuss about it. He wasn’t exactly sure of what feelings he still had for her, but he knew there were still some left. He’ll probably find them out when he finally sees her in person again.

---------

Y/n laughs at their conversation, it’s crazy how both of them decided to really pull a prank on each other like this. They literally set themselves up.

But there she was, getting ready to see him anyways.

She arrives at the cafe a little past three in the afternoon and scans the area for two vacant seats. It seems like Chan has not arrived yet.

Y/n takes a deep breath, looking at the transparent window. They used to go here so often. It was the closest cafe to their university. The time spent studying and reviewing until closing hours suddenly became very vivid to her. But y/n realizes how long it had been since those days because they were employed now.

She sees a guy with ash blonde hair, with a black hoodie and some sweatshorts. Anyone could easily tell it was him. Only with a different hair color.

Chan pushes the glass door open and spots her. His heart skips a beat. She was still as beautiful as he remembers her to be. Now a little more mature, her features were stronger and more defined, but her eyes still held the same innocent look.

He slowly walks over to her, and her head perks up from the book she had brought and shifted to the guy standing in front of her, the feeling of his presence all too familiar.

“Hey” Chan breathes out. “Have you been waiting long?” and takes a seat.

“No, It’s okay.” Y/n smiles and closes her book. “I’ll go get us the drinks. I ordered the usual, if it's okay with you.”

“Oh yeah no problem.”

As y/n gets up and approaches the counter the manager smiles at her. They used to be the cashier and had been a witness of the relationship that the two had. “I see that you’re back together?” they say.

Y/n smiles. “No, just catching up for old time’s sake.” and gets the drinks.

Y/n places Chan’s drink in front of him. A chilled dark chocolate. “Wow.” he says with a smile he couldn’t help. “You remember.”

“Yup. With heavy cream.” She clicks her tongue and gives him a heads up with her “precise” memory.

Taking a seat, y/n wraps her hands around her cappuccino to keep them warm.

“So…” Chan breaks the silence. “It’s been what? About two years?” he awkwardly says, his ears red as a tomato and he scratches the back of his neck.

“Two and a half,” she corrects. “But close enough.” and sips her coffee.

“How have you been?” He asks, hoping to ease the awkwardness.

“Not too bad, finally got a job that I actually like. You?”

“I’m a freelance swimming coach. But it’s doing well for me. It’s flexible with my time.”

“Ah, that’s good to hear.”

And there goes the moments of silence that no one asked for yet couldn’t be avoided. Y/n fidgets with the cup sleeve of her coffee while Chan fidgets with the ties of his hoodie.

After a while, Y/n looks at him and giggles. Taking him by surprise.

“What’s funny?” He asks, confused.

“This.” her index finger shifts from herself to him. “Why did we agree to this? Over TINDER?” she emphasizes and laughs some more.

Which leads him to doing the same. Come to think about it, it is pretty silly and unusual for an ex couple to meet up again over a dating app which was supposed to be the sole reason on why they would never cross paths again. And yet, it was the reason as to why they were now seated in front of each other two and a half years later.

For some reason Chan is stuck in a daze as he takes in the image of her, the subtle sunlight lit her perfectly. Her hair a lighter shade when shone by light, her eyes a brighter color. Perhaps, his feelings for her came back, or never left in the first place.

And for y/n, who was as a matter of fact burning under his gaze, was relieved that she didn’t feel like she used to for him anymore. She looked at him as her past that she wishes she could bring back, but knows that she could only move forward. She knew that after this, she wouldn’t be stuck on him anymore. She could now set herself free.

The two are now headed onto different directions in their lives, but somehow still met in the middle of a long road. They are heading towards bigger things with their own experiences to keep and left behind feelings for a clearer path to take.

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nonstoplover · 4 years

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Suffering from separation ~ Tom Hiddleston

masterlist

Summary: after a long time spent apart from each other, (Y/N) and Tom can’t wait to see each other again, and when they finally do, events swiftly turn only to make it one of the happiest days of their lives...

Words: 1.7K

Approximate reading time: about 10 mins

A/N: i first wrote this at age 14, quite literally ages ago lmao, with a terrible english (due to only learning english from age 9). luckily i’ve improved since then and after remembering it just today i was able to rewrite it now. i actually still love this idea a lot haha. let me know what you think and as usual, hope you enjoy <3

It's what they call a normal, cold and rainy October day. Water’s falling from the sky nonstop since I woke up in the morning, but even that can’t dampen my excitement. Today’s the day my boyfriend comes home after five weeks of being apart due to his job, shooting a new movie again.

It’s the first time we spent such a long time separated, I usually go with him and spend the time on set, sitting in his trailer working away on my laptop, thanking the heavens for choosing a job I can do whenever and wherever I want to.

Though this time my brother’s wedding is coming up and I offered my help in the last minute arrangements, meaning that I’m not able to spend several weeks away from home, since my much needed help could only be used here, with my personal, live assistance instead of a few advice spoken through a screen.

Slowly the day turns into night, even the swift passing of time unable to stop the rain falling down, and I’m moving around the kitchen making the final touches of dinner, cutting up some salad whilst listening to the raindrops jingle on the windowsill, when out of nowhere I hear the sound of a car engine growing louder through the dash of rain before a flash of lights beam in through the kitchen window, making me go blind for a couple seconds.

The car stops in our driveway, and after winning my sight back I’m able to outline the familiar silhouette that’s stepping out from the vehicle. A sudden burst of happiness makes me forget everything else, legs already moving to run towards the door, and as soon as it was opened, I rushed out towards my boyfriend.

He’s on the other side of the car now to grab his bags, and when I get in a reachable distance to him, I launch myself right into his arms. Tom takes a step back, trying to keep his balance, one arm instinctively wrapping around by waist to keep me steady whilst the other still clutches the bag.

He lets out a surprised chuckle, holding me tightly to his body for a moment before leaning back so he could look into my eyes.

“(Y/N), darlin’, are you crazy? What are you doing out here without a coat?” he asks, voice gentle and caring, a lovely smile splattered across his face as his eyes move down my body, soon coming to a new discovery, speaking up once more. “...and without a shoe?”

I almost faint from alone the sound of his voice, only hearing it through smart devices, distorted just a tiny bit but still enough to make it sound differently building such a huge contrast with the way it rolled out his mouth live.

I follow his gaze down towards my feet, only noticing it now that I did in fact run out into the rain in nothing but a pair of socks.

"I just missed you so much,” I answer, cheeks flushing pink from the slight embarrassment I’m feeling.

“Oh, love, I missed you too,” Tom says instantly, leaning in to press a soft kiss against my lips.

It feels too good to be real, waiting so much for it, trying to imagine feeling his mouth against mine in growing anticipation only making the real sensation a hundred times better.

“I love you,” he whispers, the skin of our lips still touching, before he moves and starts taking the remaining steps left until we’re back inside the dry warmth of our house, my legs still around his middle, his hand still holding me up carefully.

"Let me down, I can walk,” I giggle as he continues to walk.

“Nope, I don't want you to get ill.” Tom answers just as we enter the house.

He still doesn’t stop, I can feel his legs move to kick his shoes off before continueing his way further inside. Arriving in the living room, he gently places me down on the couch before moving to put his bags down from his other hand.

He shrugs his jacket down from his shoulders, putting it around the back of a chair as I sit up still giggling, watching him in adoration. As soon as he’s finished, Tom comes back to sit next to me, immediately leaning in to kiss me passionately. Without a moment of hesitation I kiss him back, and as his hands slowly make their way around my back, fingers caressing me through the material of his old T-shirt I’m wearing, I feel complete again.

I feel content and fulfilled with love, making me realise how lonely I actually was in the past weeks, and I cling into him like I’d never let him go again. And a part of me wants to do just that.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After dinner, the two of us stroll back to the living room, having decided to watch a movie, though still not knowing which one. I’m sitting on the couch, legs pulled up and crossed in front of me, heels digging into the fabric as I'n still looking for a romantic comedy that sounds interesting and good on an online list.

When I finally find something probable, I glance up to ask Tom about it. I haven’t noticed him moving up from his previous sitting position on the sofa next to me, eyes immediately go to search around the room to find him.

It doesn’t take much time to do so, catching sight of him kneeling on the ground just besides the couch, in front of my legs. I’m just about to open my mouth and ask him what he’s doing when he starts speaking, preventing me by a millisecond.

“(Y/N), I have to tell you something.”

From this one sentence I can hear the sudden thickness of his accent, signalling that he’s nervous, and I wait a bit impatiently for him to continue, but he seems unable to find the right words. When his eyes that are frantically moving around finally land on mine for a moment, I shine a reassuring smile his way to calm his nerves. It seems to help because after clearing his throat, his lips open again.

“When we were apart, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. You were stuck in my mind 24/7. And I was suffering. Honestly, truly suffering. ‘Cause I couldn't see your beautiful face, touch your wonderfully soft and deliciously scented hair, taste your luscious lips, hear your lovely voice. ‘Cause I couldn’t be with you. It felt so wrong, so unnatural. And every time I heard your voice through the phone, this feeling only grew stronger. In the end I came to the realisation that it’s because you’re the one for me. You’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, you’re the one I want to feel next to me every time I wake up. And you’re the woman I want to have kids with, if you too want to have one or two in the future,” his voice trails off for a moment, a grin on his face as his eyes seem to travel to a different place in a different time, seeming like he’s already picturing the scenes he painted with his words before he focuses on me once more, lips opening once more to finish his speech. “My beautiful, one and only love, my dearest (Y/N), will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

His eyes are full of love as he’s staring at me patiently, I can see that even through the blurriness of my eyes caused by the wave of teardrops that are coming nonstop almost since he started speaking in the first place.

I’m breathless, unable to speak so I simply move my head in frantic nods to answer his question. Tom’s smile grows even bigger if that’s possible, splitting his face in half as he raises his right hand only a slight bit.

It’s enough for me to catch sight of the box in between his fingers, showing off a gorgeous ring sitting inside. As my eyes take in the beauty, the words that seemed missing only a couple seconds ago come to my lips, leaving them without a stop.

“Oh my goodness, Tom! This ring is... wonderful!” I exclaim, one hand flying up to cover my mouth as my jaw dropped down, leaving it wide open. “I can't believe this is truly happening.”

Another sob escapes my lips and I chuckle from the strange emotionality that took over me, Tom laughing away with me.

“What, you’re gonna leave it in there?” He asks with a teasing tone after a few seconds, the fingers of his free hand moving to wrap around the jewellery, pulling it out of the box. I move a hand towards him almost in an instinct, watching in awe as he pushes it up my ring finger, the coolness of it touching my warm skin delicately.

When he finishes his action, Tom leans in to hug me tight against his chest, lips searching for mine only to kiss me like he’ll never stop. And in the moment both of us know that we never want to be apart again, never want to feel this suffering again, expressing our thoughts and feelings only through our actions, no words spoken.

We spend the rest of the night watching a movie we eventually come to choose, but neither of us truly pay attention to it, either deep in thought of the joyful future we have ahead of us or talking about anything and everything that comes to our minds.

Still, one thought seems to come back every other second, not leaving me for the remainder of the rainy October day, always filling me up with joy when thinking about it.

Everything feels just like living in a dream. I’ve found my Prince Charming, and though it feels like I couldn’t get any happier no matter what, something, some kind of strange gut feeling tells me that it’s only going to get happier from today.

.::the end::.

my masterlist

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddlestion fanfiction #the night manager #loki #loki odinson #thor movies #avengers #kong #high-rise #i saw the light #midnight in paris #the deep blue sea #miss austen regrets #tom h #hiddleston #hiddlesarmy #kong: skull island

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sunbellylou · 3 years

Text

ask for writers !!

thank you @tomlinvelvetfics for tagging me! and thank you @soldouthaz for making this tag!

1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted: i’ve been writing for years now, i started with het (ew!) 1d fics in portuguese back in 2011, it was actually those little imagines we used to write, don’t know if anyone remembers hehe. i posted them on a facebook page i was part of and i remember the first thingy i wrote was something with niall, but i really don’t remember any details (but was probably bad as heck since i was 11).

my first larry fic i probably wrote around 2012 when i found out the gay fanfics world haha, i don’t remember what it was or anything tbh, in my head i always wrote and posted gay fanfic.

my first fanfic in english was a little one shot (like 400 words honestly), it was a translation of a previous work i wrote portuguese. i posted it a year and a half ago and it’s called playground love (please don’t look).

2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?: i usually write from harry’s pov because i love love l o v e describing louis and how angelic he is, so usually i tend to see louis as this ethereal ish character, cause it’s usually about harry falling in love with him. so whether i like it or no, i tend to be closer to harry’s characters in my fics, i always like to put a bit of myself on him and make the character real, you know?

3. where do you often find inspiration?: honestly? anything! i’ve written fics inspired by tumblr posts, tweets, pictures, songs, movies, things that happened in my real life, books. i literally wrote a pwp because i couldn’t stop thinking about leather pants (go read my robin hood au).

4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?: in the beginning it was really helping me, i’d stay up till 4am everyday just writing like crazy, but then i got into the worst writer’s block and didn’t write shit for months. (and of course right when i started getting new ideas, i started working so i have no free time).

5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence? always listen to music, all the time. i can’t do anything without music. mostly because my brain is a mess and music helps me concentrate. i usually go for some chill songs, some indie pop and stuff.

6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?: oh my god, when i’m writing and two or more paragraphs start with the same word, one after the other. it drives me crazy!!!! and sometimes i spend hours looking for ways to word differently the sentences, just so i don’t have two paragraphs starting with “the”.

also when my paragraphs are two (or one) lines long, i can’t! it has to have three or more lines.

7. describe your ideal writing setup: at the dining table, in the middle of the night, with some soft music playing in the background and some popcorn with me!

8. favorite time of day to write?: well, just said it hehe i like writing at night.

9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?: woah, that’s tough because i literally write any genres! i really love writing fantasy and horror stuff, but i feel like it’s not really well accepted in the fandom? (spec horror). and when people like it, they only read from bigger authors so i usually keep myself from writing those. aaand tbh i probably already wrote most of fic genres out there, so there isn’t much left to try.

10. do you struggle with writer’s block? how do you typically overcome it? i’m writer’s block bitch and i do not know how to overcome her

11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult? outlining tbh, i usually don’t (and it comes back to kick me in the ass). i always have too many ideas at the same time and can’t stick to one, so outlining and finding the right plot is really hard.

12. how do you come up with original characters? (if applicable): lately i haven’t really had the chance to come up with ocs, but when i wrote original books (not fanfics and stuff), i usually started with the gender and one outstanding personality trait and went from there.

13. what is your favorite and least favorite word? i love the words ethereal and breeze, omg you’ll find them A LOT on my fics. and my least favorite word is growl.

14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?: i think i describe the vibez in the scene really well, it’s my favorite thing to do. and i need to work more on building my sentences, because theyre always supermessy.

15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?: definitely the fic i’m working on right now! i’m putting so much work on the world building since it’s a fantasy fic, so i’m planning every little detail about it. i hope other people like it too when they read it !!

16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?: comic sans, 12pt, single spaced. don’t come at me.

17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?: because english isn’t my first language, i always change like ‘th’ for ‘d’ (because it has a similar sound in portuguese), so catch me typing ‘de’ instead of ‘the’ or ‘dey’ instead of ‘they’.

18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?: i didn’t understand the question so i’m pretending i never read it hehe

19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?: my favorite to write is probably,,, love/adoration, like harry looking at louis like he’s the whole world and thinking about how amazing he is? i love it.

and the most difficult is probably anger, i find it really hard to write like fights and stuff like that because usually i make the characters sound more sad than angry.

20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?: i never thought about that but,,, i hope they start finding joy in small things that happen in their day. that’s something i use a lot in my fics and i think it’s very important to bring it to real life. like enjoy that late night tea, showering in the morning, spending a summer day in the house, cleaning, etc.

21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?: i think the best advice is one i got from someone i no longer talk to, they told me this when i first started writing in english and it is to stop trying to write fancy or like native english speakers, because it’s much better to write simple sentences that i’m confident about than write sentences with words i barely know how to use.

and the worst advice is TO OUTLINE! i know i should maybe i dont know but leave me alone, i hate outlining bye

22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?: ok so,,, it’s a book i wrote like three years ago with original characters. it’s called great evil and i wrote it in portuguese. it’s full of violence and acid humor, about a very evil and sarcastic demon and an angry hunter. (one day i’ll translate that book and turn it into a larry fic)

23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?: chronologically. always

24. how do you handle criticism?: really bad. please be careful with what words you use. i’m already really hard on myself when it comes to my writing, so sometimes someone says something and (it might be dramatic but) i feel my world crumbling and i want to stop writing right away.

25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?: just,,, do it. there’s no right or wrong way to do it. there’s no such thing as too much or too little, bad or good plots. every idea is a good idea. write it for yourself, write something you like. go ahead and just do it. there’s always someone out there who will enjoy your work, no matter what.

26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?: any comments make my day tbh, if you comment on my fic i’ll be forever grateful and will be smiling like a fool the whole day. honestly, even a “omg i loved it” comment can make my day.

27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?: the one i’m writing 100%, please i want to live in a fantasy world. i wanna live in the water kingdom and have faerie louis as my king please.

and i’d like to befriend louis from my fic kiss me in your chevrolet, he’s a sweetheart and i must protecc.

28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?: anything! i rarely get asks so anything is good hehe

29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?: it’s such a big part of my life, i spent all my teenage years writing and it really is what built my personality. it helped me being more creative with all aspects of my life and take life lightly, enjoy little things and moments.

30. why do you write?: i just love having ideas and putting out there, playing with words and finding new ways to describe daily things.

boost yourself + tags!

1a. share the last sentence you wrote:

The path through the dense forest, covered in slippery rocks and burning trees is already difficult enough, but it becomes ten times worse when you’re being pestered by small, demonic creatures.

2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about:

i’m honestly only working on one fic right now and i’m super duper excited about it

3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of:

"I mean, I still don't plan on watching Star Wars, so…"

The boy groans playfully, throwing his head back and Louis' eyes are suddenly really interested in the column of the guy's throat.

"Americans really have no culture." He shoulders Louis slightly, warmth spreading through Louis' dainty shoulder and making him trip to the side lightly. With a faux outraged scoff, Louis waves a dismissing hand.

“What do British people know about culture? All you do is drink tea and talk about the weather all day,” Louis teases with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Also, Star Wars is American, just so you know.” He rolled his eyes playfully, feeling surprisingly comfortable in his presence.

Skater Boy sighs comically, shaking his head, his wavy locks falling gracefully on the sides of his face and Louis can’t stop thinking about how soft his hair must be.

“You got me there.”

not posted but i kinda like it (i’m not really good with dialogues, so it was really hard to find one lmao)

4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s): I will do only those that are already published:

best first lines are from a halloween fic i never finished:

Louis’ blue eyes snap open. His heart pounds fast inside his rib cage, making something as easy as breathing almost impossible. Sweat drenches his body and he feels like drowning. He feels too awake and wary as his breathing calms down, as well as his grips on the sheets under him loosen.

best last lines are from my 2019 BLFF there’s more than one place to call home:

Their life was utter chaos, and they were definitely complete opposites, and sometimes Harry wished Louis would just shut the hell up, but at the same time, Harry wouldn’t change a single thing about his life, because he had Louis, and that was all that mattered to him.

5a. link the last fic you read: it was the devil's in the details by @raspberryoatss

6a. link the last work you published: you could take a lick (but it’s too cold to bite me)

7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable): cinnamons

8a. someone that inspires you: louis hehe

9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year: tbh i don’t read a lot of fics, but there’s this work a friend of mine wrote. it was in portuguese and she ended up deleting it but it’s amazing.

10a. other writers that you’d like to tag! @bottomlwt @raspberryoatss

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idealisticrealism · 4 years

Text

So, who wants to hear me gush about something in Blindspot that was almost certainly completely meaningless?

What is it, you (didn’t) ask?

It’s this.

So, let me start by saying that this scene was one of my favourite scenes of Blindspot, like ever. I am living for the friendship that is forming between these two, and the way they are helping each other through their individual traumas. The added dimension of former CIA agent Tasha helping Rich recover from his torture at the hands of the CIA is just so perfect, not to mention they have the added connection of knowing what it’s like to be a ‘bad guy’ operating outside the law.

(I also like to think that Jane and Tasha talked together about how to help Rich, but since Jane was already supporting her hubby as well as carrying the team, Tasha took the reins on this one.)

But even though I totally could gush about that scene (especially that hug omg), that’s not actually what this post is about. This post is about me being a HUGE NERD for IMPRESSIONISM.

(Still sure you want to get into this lol?)

Alright then, here goes:

So, this absolute classic is probably at least vaguely familiar to a lot of people; it’s A Sunday on La Grande Jatte by Georges Seurat, painted in the mid 1880s, and arguably his most famous work.

(While watching the ep I initially took it for a Monet at first glance, which is super embarrassing for me but also I can’t help that I have this like Pavlovian response to Impressionism that makes me go YO IS THAT MY BOY MONET YOOOO the moment I see any painting even remotely of the style lol)

But let me tell you why I am losing my nerdy marbles over the use of this artwork in the show (even though I am very certain that they probably just used whatever relatively recognisable piece they could find that didn’t have any like copyright stuff attached) because oh boy do I have Thoughts.

So let’s get analytical up in this biz....

First off, there’s the big one: it’s an Impressionist piece. The very foundation of the style is that from afar, all looks normal, but when you actually look closely, everything is blurred and distorted; nothing is distinct. Which is doubly appropriate for this show: firstly, the team is currently pursuing a mission that seems clear-cut (to clear their names and get their lives back, to free the FBI of Madeline’s corruption) but which actually involves a lot of uncertainty and murkiness and blurred lines (are we willing to break multiple laws? to potentially kill people deliberately, not just in self-defense? how far are we willing to go to achieve our mission, and if we succeed, will we still be the same? etc). Secondly, and more relevantly to this particular scene, the style is fitting for Rich himself following his experience in the blacksite. Look from a distance, and he seems alright, still normal (or as normal as Rich could ever be). But look close, and you start to see that everything is actually hazy and muddled, the cracks starting to show. He is not okay.

But wait, there’s more! Because this work isn’t just Impressionist, it’s Neo-Impressionist (specifically, Pointilist) which ol’ boy Georges was one of the pioneers of-- he was literally considered a renegade because of it, a rebel operating against the status quo, which I find very appropriate for our own little band of rebels lol. But the point (lol) of Pointilism is to create scenes filled with vivid colours, ones that almost seem to jump out of the canvas, which is achieved by combining small brushstrokes (points) of different colours which from further away appear to be practically just one bright colour. So again, looking from a distance you see one thing, and from up close you see that it’s actually more complicated than that. Like this team; they’re all individuals, all their own distinct colours, but look at the bigger picture and you see that they blend together to create a balanced, harmonious whole. And that same concept can be applied to them all individually, too-- each one of them is made up by a veritable rainbow of traits. Light, dark, and everything in between; every stroke makes them who they are.

But that’s just the style, though, which is only the half of it. Look at the actual subject of the painting; at its setting. Art is an escape from one’s own reality, and for someone practically trapped in a concrete box underground, what better choice of escape is there than a scene of people happily enjoying the outdoors, spending time in the midst of sunshine and nature, with no walls or ceilings in sight, no one being hunted or hurt? See, too, how the foreground of the painting is in shadow-- it gives the sense that the viewer is in shadow too, the dimness of the bunker and the shadow of the painting blending together, like if Rich were to stand in front of the painting and step forward, he’d be stepping out onto the grass. It’s a hopeful thought; the team might be in shadow right now, but the light of day isn’t so far away. A little longer, a little further, and they’ll be out there too, enjoying their lives and their freedom just like the people in the painting.

And speaking of the people in the painting... there’s a few other little things about this painting that makes me love that it was the one they chose. Firstly, I love that Tasha brought Rich a painting which was described with words like ‘bedlam’, ‘scandal’, and ‘hilarity’ when it was first exhibited, which are probably the exact words that would come to mind if you had to describe Rich and his life in three words lol (pre-blacksite, sadly). Though the painting looks very normal and serene to us, when you look closely, there are a couple of pretty weird things, especially for that time. For one, the woman in the foreground has a pet monkey on a leash, which I think is a fairly apt representation of Rich’s role in the team haha, particularly early on. There’s also a lady off to the left who is fishing, and if I remember correctly, she was thought to symbolise a prostitute reeling in her clients down by the docks/waterside lol, an interpretation which I feel like Rich would absolutely love. In a more Blindspot-specific sense, another character of interest is the man lounging right near the front-- I can’t be the only one who thinks he looks just like ‘old’ Weller, right down to the little hat? The fact that his outfit seems out of place for the time, and also the subtle... sexiness (for the lack of a better word lol) of his clothes and pose makes it feel like Rich’s consciousness could have conjured him there (bc lbr, we all know Rich loves some sexy Weller). And lastly, I can’t not mention the little girl in the center, who is famously considered to be staring right at the viewer of the painting, as if fully aware she’s being observed and totally ready to throw down about it. And I know that this one is extra silly and had obviously never crossed the prop-designer’s mind, but, well... this painting is French, and if someone asked me to think of an appropriate name for a little French schoolgirl, I would pick the name of the one I spent many hours of my childhood watching cartoons and reading books about: Madeline.

As a last, final bonus (and yet another totally irrelevant thing that I am ascribing my own meaning to), just look out on the water in the distance-- there’s what appears to be a steamboat. Or is it The Boat, and is it sinking, a plume of smoke rising from it as it goes down in flames?

But that’s the thing about art, isn’t it; there’s no limit to what we see in it. So when Rich looks at this gift, I hope he sees freedom. Hope. A future in the sun.

Because he’s earned it.

They all have.

#Blindspot #Blindspot spoilers #Impressionism #LOOK I KNOW THIS IS RIDICULOUS #BUT I JUST LOVE IMPRESSIONISM OKAY #AND SYMBOLISM #AND RICH #AND THIS SCENE #don't ask me anything about literally any other art style bc I would not have a clue #god I'm so curious to know if the choice was even slightly deliberate #it won't be #but still

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #330

“and i don't want ya / and i don't need ya / don't bother to resist, or i'll beat ya / it's not your fault that you're always wrong / the weak ones are there to justify the strong”

If you have a job, do you like it? I'm unemployed. Do you like any kinds of fruit? Well of course. Are you waiting for something right now? Covid and this headache to fuck off, May for my tattoo, to be paid to take some pictures again... What is your favorite kind of animal? Kind, not the actual animal itself? In that case, social species, usually mammals. What kind of Dippin' Dots do you like? Holy shit, I haven't had that in like a damn decade or something. I don't know, I barely remember the taste. Who is the most badass woman that you can think of? My mom. My mother is a fucking warrior. Do you have a Pinterest account? Yeah. I get a lot of photography ideas from there, as well as base pictures to make Mark icons, haha. If you were to write a book, what would it be about? The stories I and my friends have weaved in RP. Have you ever seen the television show The Munsters? AHHHHH YES!!!!! Mom loves that show, so I used to watch it with her growing up. Have you ever written one of those 'Roses are red...' valentines? I don't think so. Would you/have you spent more than $200 on any one person for a holiday? I haven't, but I would for certain people. Do you have a favorite Robin Williams movie? Probably Night at the Museum. Thoughts on Slender Man? Have you even heard of him? I think it's a cool creepypasta; he does look pretty unnerving with his height and especially lack of a face. The movie was good too, btw. Do you know what the Tardis is? I think almost everyone does in this generation, haha. Doctor Who ain't no joke to a whole lot of people. Are there any children's shows that you'd watch today if they were on? Sure, like Pokemon or Avatar: The Last Airbender, among others. I wouldn't at all be opposed to watching The Lion Guard, either. I actually want to, with my whole TLK love. I'm not embarrassed to watch "kids" shows or movies at all. What would you call yourself the King or Queen of? Having not an ounce of knowledge on how to love things in moderation/avoid total obsession with things, haha. If I paid for you to take karate lessons, would you? No, especially not now with my legs. Do you read more fiction or non-fiction? Almost solely fiction. What modern technology are you especially grateful for? Laptops, ig. Do you have a favorite science topic? Genetics. Very fascinating stuff. Have you ever read any Sherlock Holmes stories? No. What is the saddest movie that you've ever seen? Either Johnny Got His Gun or Boy in the Striped Pajamas. What's your most popular post? On what? If Facebook, I don't really know. Possibly my "coming out" one or a lovey-dovey essay when Sara and I were together. On Tumblr, it's definitely the gif I made of Mark and Chica (his dog) with I think over 10k notes. Manga or anime? Anime. I don't read manga, though I've been tempted with Deadman Wonderland since the show only had one season and ends on a ginormous cliffhanger, but there's more story to be had. A card game that you're good at? None, really. A popular book you haven't read yet? To Kill a Mockingbird. I feel like every school student has read it at some point. Favorite Mean Girls quote? I don't know any. It's a fine movie, but I've never understood the hype. Name your top 3 albums from your favorite band/artist. Black Rain, Ozzmosis, and... then I can't choose. I love so, so many very dearly. Name your top 5 music videos. I don't really watch music videos, so I definitely can't name five. My #1 favorite is probably "Wrong Side of Heaven" by Five Finger Death Punch; I absolutely cannot watch it without crying. What are you most passionate about? How did this passion develop? Animals. I was born simply adoring animals and have always wanted to protect them and their environment. Do you like monkeys? Do you believe in evolution? Yes and yes. We've literally watched it in action. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Discussing RP if you're not involved in it. I'm terrified of people thinking I'm weird. Have you considered running for president? Absolutely not. Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? I'd say Mark, but I'd be way too interested in dating him instead of being just friends, haha... So with that said, maybe Bindi Irwin? Would you ever go skinny dipping with the last person who commented you? Lyndsey would be that person, so no. She's a great friend of mine, but realistically I'd probably only ever - if ever - do that with the company of my s/o. Are you still friends with the last person who broke your trust? No. How long did your last relationship last? Around two years. Have you ever been banned from anywhere? Online, yes, as a little kid on the Animal Planet forum, haha... Has anyone kissed you when you weren't expecting it? Yeah, Juan. Did you like it? It was a sweet moment, but I didn't want it. Does your dad smoke? Like a chimney. Is your mom over 50? Yeah. Are you currently listening to anything? Yeah, kinda hooked on "The Horrible People" by Manson. I've found a lot of great music lately. Would you ever consider getting breast implants? No, but once (if...) I lose all the weight I want, it's going to be a moderate priority to get a breast lift. I've hated my body way too fucking long and am dying to be satisfied with it again, and with how much weight I need to lose, I would essentially have grandma tits. :x Do you know anyone who is bisexual? Me, haha. Among some friends. Who would you tell, or who did you tell when you lost your virginity? That's not something I'd just go to tell someone afterwards for no reason... I'd only ever mention having lost my virginity if I was actually asked or if it was relevant to a conversation. Is there something you have been trying to learn lately? I'm really trying to practice opposite action and behavioral activation, among other things I've learned in group therapy. When you think about your future career, do you envision yourself becoming the head honcho or CEO? If not, why not? Well, I want to be my own boss as a freelance photographer. In any other job, I definitely wouldn't want that. Too much responsibility and leadership skills. Can you think of a time when you seriously misjudged a music artist based on their name? I don't think so? Have you ever kissed someone that you didn’t really want to kiss (not assault, just indifference)? Why did you go along with it and how did you feel after? Yes, Tyler. I felt like I was "supposed to." I felt really uncomfortable afterwards. If you have to wake up early for something, what time is just TOO early for you to be there and be presentable and sentient? Have you ever had to be somewhere that early? Probably like, 5:00. No. Have the majority of your romantic relationships started with a physical attraction or a deeper connection? Always an emotional connection. Did you ever write a fan letter to a celebrity? How about submit something to a magazine? No to both. What hair color is the most attractive on the opposite sex? Of natural colors, black, but I like unnaturally dyed hair most. Where do you like to go to when you are stressed? On a carride, so long as I'm controlling the music nice and loud and not talking. Where do you go to get your hair cut/dyed? To a family friend's little salon/small business. Why do you want the career that you want? Because I adore art and think it's pretty darn magical that you can freeze a moment forever to not just remember in your head, but actually see. Have you ever watched iCarly? Yeah, I enjoyed it when I was younger. What was your favorite class during your sophomore year of high school? Art. Do you wear bandanas in your hair? No. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not interested. How many living grandparents do you still have? None. Have you ever worked in an office? No. Who does the grocery shopping in your house? Mom. Have you ever stayed in a hotel without your parents or older relatives? No. Did you have an Easy-Bake oven when you were little? Sure did. Have you ever seen a donkey? Yeah. Have you ever made out in a hot tub? Pretty sure no. Do you always flush the toilet after you use it? Yes. What were the last words you said to your dad? Probably "bye, love you." Have you cuddled with someone you weren’t dating? Nah. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? JASON. Are you a really understanding person? Yeah, very. Are you the type of person that enjoys getting hugs? Yes. When’s the last time you wore a wig? For a witch costume many years ago. Why were you last hospitalized? Suicide attempt. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without food? At least 12 hours, but I think I almost went a day once back when recovery started and my appetite was non-existent. What was the last name of your third grade teacher? Mrs. Britt. How was the last chicken you ate cooked? They were chicken tenders. What is your favorite kind of chip? Hot crunchy Cheetos. What grade did you have your first boyfriend? 7th. Have you ever been told that you’ve lost weight? Yeah, back when I actually WAS losing loads of weight. >> Do you have the same political views as your parents? Some things, but definitely not all. Does anyone call you babe/baby? No. Have you ever made a significant other cry? Sadly. If you could make your lips bigger, would you? Maybe just a teeeeny bit. Are you one to sneak food into movie theaters? Yep. Fuck them prices. Are you prone to illness? Definitely not. What races do you usually date? History says Caucasian, but I have no actual preference. I'll date any race. What’s your cup size? C. Ever flirted with a teacher? Yikes, no thanks. Who was the main cook of your Thanksgiving meal last year? My older sister made the most stuff. Have you ever been dumped really harshly? Well, considering it literally traumatized me... Do you have any ex’s you can’t stand anymore? No. Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer, definitely. When was the last time you made a sandwich? What did you put on it? Yesterday for lunch. Ham, American cheese, and mustard. Have you ever made friends with someone that you didn’t expect to get along with? Yeah. Do you own any accessories with your name on? No. What brand of eyeliner do you use? I pay no attention to this. Have you ever been sexually harassed? No. Have you ever sent a naughty text message? Suggestive ones, yes. How long have you had your pets? Roman, around two years. Venus, around three or four years. Who was the last person to tell you that they love you, other than family? Sara. Has one of your friends ever tried to hook you up with someone? Colleen tried obnoxiously hard to push Girt and me together. We all went out to eat pizza once just as friends hanging out, and this bitch prefaced an uncomfortable and nosy question to him with an even more uncomfortable "because I'm trying to get you in her pants...", and that, my friends, was the closest occasion I've ever come to slapping someone right across the face. I looked at her in absolute disgust, and Girt was clearly thinking "what the actual fuck" as well. I do not miss her feral mouth. Are you good at staring contests? No. Eye contact is very difficult for me to maintain. Do you like peanut butter? I love peanut butter. When was the last time you had to present something to your class? In this mandatory but entirely pointless entry class at my last college, we all had to do like this PowerPoint introducing ourselves. I hated it. Who was the last person that told you they missed you? I think my friend Chelsea. What store is your favorite shirt from? It's not a real store, but rather an online brand: Cloak. Mark is one of the owners/creators so I obviously support them intensely. Have you ever fell off your bed while you were sleeping? No, thankfully. Do you have something you’re supposed to tell someone, but you haven’t yet? No. What type of food do you never really eat? Vegetables, oops. Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? No. Do you like going to weddings? Not really, if I'm being honest. I'm only interested in photographing weddings for the only the couple pictures and pay, really. I'm not big on formal events. What’s your favorite flavor squash? I don’t like squash. Do you or anyone in your house have a severe allergy? No. Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? Our landlord/family friend, just to hang out for a little bit and chat with Mom. What fad were you actually into? Hm. What was the last spontaneous thing you did? I'm not a very spontaneous person, so I really don't know.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''the beautiful people'' by marilyn manson

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kjmhj0429995486 · 4 years

Note

Perhaps a small winwin and kun college au?

okay this took me forever to get around to oops! hahahha this is honestly way too many words for nothing to really happen but I had fun writing it. would love to maybe continue this eventually!

tinder!au i guess??

kun despised the idea of dating apps. absolutely hated it. he always criticized the vanity and impermanence of meeting people online and stood by his ground that you could only find the perfect match in person. when kun created a tinder account under the influence of a few drinks and some very resilient friends on a friday night in, he still hated dating apps, but he’d admit now that maybe he was being a little early to judge.

kun wasn’t like his friends. ten lived for nights out and meeting new people and kissing boys he’d only just met. in a similar vein, lucas was always in a relationship, whether it being a fling that lasts a few weeks before he gets bored or one of his longer, more emotional engagements, kun has never known the man without someone on his arm. but kun was different. since they started college over three years ago now, he’d only kissed a handful of boys, maybe a girl or two in the beginning, and he’d only been in two relationships, both pretty long term relative to his friends. with the last one ending nearly a year ago, he couldn’t help but feel a little lonely; however, it wasn’t until the alcohol settled into his veins as he listened to stories of his friends’ most recent passionate endeavors during their guys’ night that he expressed this to anyone else.

“oh my god and then afterwards, he literally just, left me there. on the couch, naked. he didn’t even leave a blanket for me,” ten was a few shots in, speaking dramatically and drawing the most genuine reactions from his tipsy bestfriends as he spoke. “but oh my GOD did I even care after what that man had just done to me.”

kun never understood the hookup culture that his friends subscribed to, but he was happy for them; and they knew that, even if his snide remarks came off a little judgy. “i really can’t believe the situations you get yourself into sometimes,” kun laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “like you really can’t tell me it was worth getting treated that way to have sex with someone you’ll never see again.”

“kun,” ten began, placing his hands on kun’s shoulders and looking him in the eye, feigning as much seriousness as he could muster in his current state. “you really really need to get laid already,” this made kun immediately roll his eyes and laugh softly in ten’s face. “actually you don’t even have to fuck him right away, but like you could really use a cute boy in your life, man,” he ended with a slight seriousness that hit home more than he would’ve expected. kun knew exactly why ten was saying what he was saying. obvious to his friends, he’d been really stressed lately with midterms and club activities and whatever else he managed to find to keep himself busy enough to not have time to worry about how he felt so incomplete; about how much better all the stressful things in his life would be if someone else was there to experience them with him.

“wait wait wait,” lucas intergected, his normal deep voice even more boisterous with the drinks in his system. “you should make a tinder.”

at this, ten’s eyes widened and he immediately perked up with the biggest smile on his face.

“absolutely not.” kun intended to shut this conversation down before the boys got any stupid ideas in their heads. he was a little late.

“kun pleaseeeee?” ten begged with full on puppy dog eyes. “you never know, the love of your life might be on there right now.”

kun pulled away from the grip ten still had on his shoulders and raised his eyebrows at his friends in an attempt to get his seriousness through their heads. “no way. you guys know how i feel about dating apps. i will happily wait a thousand years for the right man to meet me face to face if that’s what it takes.”

lucas was not convinced. “dude you haven’t had a boyfriend in months. literally all you do when you’re not with us is study. obviously that’s not making you any progress soulmate wise so like.. what’s the harm in giving it a go?”

neither was ten. “exactly. kun you deserve to find someone, you really do. worst case scenario you go on a couple of bad dates and we have something to laugh about, best case scenario you find someone you think you can fall in love with,” kun softens, just a bit, at the sincerity of ten’s words. for a second that is. “and yeah most of them suck but i promise there’s some high quality, top notch men on there if you look hard enough. trust me, i’ve found a couple myself,” he adds with a quick wink. when kun’s scowl returns to his face ten reverts to his previous tactic: puppy dog eyes. “pleassssse kun. you know we really just want the best for you.”

kun sighs, rolling his eyes begrudgingly at his defeat. “i can’t believe i’m saying this out loud but i guess i have been kind of lonely lately,” he begins, catching his friends’ hopeful attention. “not in like a sad kind of way but maybe in a ‘this would be better with someone else’ kind of way.”

that was enough for lucas to grab kun’s phone from its place on the coffee table and download the app before kun even had time to protest.

“awww he’s kinda cute.” ten said, clicking to view the full profile of a boy just a year younger than kun.

“he’s holding a dead fish.”

“you know what they say, the bigger the dead fish the bigger his...”

“literally no one has ever said that.”

“ugh fine. next.”

kun went to bed that night disappointed about to his expectations, if not a little more.

it wasn’t until three days later when kun was laying in bed after a busy school day that he even remembered he had downloaded the stupid app a few nights prior. after a brief battle between his strong opinions towards the dumb application sitting almost mockingly on his home screen and his skeptical curiosity, he unlocked his phone and opened the neglected app, the latter obviously winning out.

kun spent a few minutes swiping. he clicked each individual profile to get as solid of a read as he could on each guy before making his decision with a careful consideration, something he had definitely never seen either of friends apply to their tinder boy sprees. left. left. left. kun was growing ever more frustrated, none of the boys striking a chord with him. perhaps he was being a bit harsh with his standards but he really truly felt that he couldn’t see himself in a relationship with any of these men. left. left. left again. and that’s when he stopped. almost instinctively swiping on the next boy before a picture loaded before his eyes that made him rethink every criticism he had ever given his friends or their dumb app. this one was cute. more than cute. kun never really understood what the phrase “boyish charm” meant, but he knew this boy had it. he was beautiful in such an understated way. not aggressively attractive by conventional standards, but gorgeous and delicate and handsome in a way that kun thinks he could stare at for hours.

with a breath of fresh air, kun finally swiped right. he felt a brief wave of something akin to panic, or maybe excitement, wash over him when a screen he had yet to see appeared. “it’s a match! sicheng likes you too,” the screen read. kun couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on his face for a split second before he forced it into a scowl, unhappy that he had fallen into the trap of these dumb apps. soon after, kun put his phone down and went to bed. he hated the lingering curiosity about the boy that he knew nothing about, but let himself indulge in his own imagination for just a little while before falling asleep to the thought of having someone to call his.

the next day was busy for kun. between his four classes and studying for his upcoming midterms, he hadn’t even had a second to consider swiping mindlessly through tinder or messaging the single boy he had deemed worthy of his swipe. that was, until he was sat outside the dining hall, letting himself enjoy a few free minutes to eat dinner with ten and lucas. amidst lucas’ downward spiral into the stress of his classes and how much work he has to do, kun’s phone buzzes. he doesn’t want to be as distracted as he is from his friends’ problems by the notification his phone lights up with, but he can’t seem to fight the curiosity of what the tiny words that read “sicheng sent you a new message.” would reveal. kun decides to wait until he can give his full attention to the weird little crush that’s already begun brewing on the total stranger living in his phone. he locks his phone and puts it in his pocket before returning his attention to the people in his life he knows are actually real.

back in his dorm, kun immediately flops onto his bed. he scrolls aimlessly through twitter and instagram before finally landing back where he was last night. knowing that he has a ton of studying to do before bed, he clicks on the messages tab and indulges himself, maybe for a little longer than he means to.

kun: hmmm maybe if i deem you worthy

sicheng: and how do i obtain your approval oh great magician?

kun: well for starters

kun: you’re really cute so that gets your foot in the door

sicheng: 😳

kun: but it’s gonna take a little more than that unfortunately

sicheng: i can dance

sicheng: does that help?

sicheng: ooh and i have a dog

sicheng: but he lives with my parents :(

sicheng: or i can show you my anime figurine collection it’s pretty impressive

kun: haha honestly?

kun: i think you just might be worthy of two magic tricks😂

sicheng: you mean to tell me you know more than one magic trick????

sicheng: wait

sicheng: are you a wizard?

kun: not last i checked

kun: but i guess you’ll be happy to know that i actually know like

kun: 10 magic tricks

sicheng: whaaaaaat

sicheng: lol what point in your life did you not have any friends?

kun: middle school😔

kun: but it’s okay i came out stronger

sicheng: so now you have friends AND know magic?

sicheng: AND you’re hot??

sicheng: sounds kinda op to me

kun: well i’d say all of those are only kind of true

sicheng: i’m still impressed

kun: thank you

sicheng: ✌︎('ω'✌︎ )

kun absolutely hated the stupid smile that wouldn’t leave has face as he read back the boy’s replies. but, as he continued to slowly learn bits and pieces of the boy that didn’t exist to him until last night through conversation that came way more easily than he ever would’ve imagined, kun decides that maybe something special really could come from this after all.

#thank you for the request omg #winkun #winwin #dong sicheng #qian kun #kun #wayv #wayv drabbles #wayvfic #nct #tinder!au #me #college!au

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angelaiswriting · 5 years

Text

Listen to Me | Tommy Shelby x reader

[original picture from pinterest]

✏️ Pairing: Tommy Shelby x fem!reader

✏️ Requested by Anonymous: I love that you're doing the Peaky Blinders boys now! I'd very much enjoy some possible fluff and/or smut with an over-protective Tommy?? Or anyone else?? I'm a sucker for a protective boi haha! Love your blog!! 💞

✏️ A/N: thank you sooo much for this request (and the compliment, I’m sobbing)! It made me so excited I was literally trembling and unable to write for a while haha hopefully you’ll enjoy this! It’s not smut yet, but it could be one day. Also, if you want to be added to my brand-new Peaky Blinders tag list, hit me up! Meanwhile, I’m just tagging peeps that could be interested. Also, many thanks to my MB @sweetvengeancee for being my new beta, apparently haha ily 💞

✏️ Warnings: implied illegal activities I guess ? + pre smut, and yet not NSFW ? so at the discretion of the reader

✏️ Word-count: 2,650

PART ONE: LISTEN TO ME | >> part two: kiss me >>

The Garrison was packed, buzzing with life as men, both drunk and sober, chatted and joked the night away.

It was the ordered chaos Thomas Shelby enjoyed, a nice distraction from the upcoming race he was planning on fixing and from that nagging thought that followed him from a distance any time his plan popped up unsolicited in his mind. He was a good horse, Monaghan Boy – black and strong and magnificent, a born winner. But if Tommy wanted to go far, if he wanted to take Kimber’s place, he had to play all his cards and he had to play them right.

Y/N was the only one who knew – she had torn the truth out of him with that sinful mouth of hers, a few days before, in that very private room he had just got out of. She had always had her own way of doing things, ever since John had brought her home one day after school, and it had been her bluntness and utter lack of fear – probably her madness, too – that had never managed to tear her away from her Shelby friends first and the Peaky Blinders later, when they had all outgrown their childhood.

It was exactly her he didn’t expect to see that night at the bar. He had told her many a time he didn’t want her at the Garrison, didn’t want her around the men he so frequently had to deal with – he knew how they were, the things they did and how, exactly, they did them.

And yet, there she was, sitting at a table opposite Polly and with Finn cuddled up in her lap. They were laughing at something his youngest brother was saying, probably one of the crazy stories he made up with his friends, both women sipping on freshly-poured booze.

“For fuck’s sake.” The words punched their way out of his mouth without him being able to stop them as he leaned against the counter. The more he told her what to do, the more she did the opposite. Whether it was her wicked way to wrap him even tighter around her pinkie finger or something she did out of habit, Tommy truly didn’t know.

What he did know, though, was that he didn’t want her here. And as he gestured for the bartender to come, all he wished for, was for her to fucking listen for once.

Harry, ever zealous as he was, was in front of him in a second, a bottle of Irish whiskey raised in mid-air as the silent question lingered in the space between them. It was an almost automatic choice by now, but when the Blinders were involved, he’d rather not make a mistake.

Tommy gave a curt nod of his head as his left hand came up to massage his forehead. It had been a longer day than usual and while he did his best not to pay them too much attention, the worries that floated around Sunday’s race and his plan for success bubbled up in his mind like the bubbles in a glass of champagne.

“Leave the bottle,” he groaned the second before downing the contents of his glass. He was going to need all the whiskey he could get his hands on if he wanted to keep sane. “When did they arrive?”

Even without saying the names, the bartender knew who the question was about. Polly Shelby had put him back to his place when she had marched into his bar with her kid nephew and Y/N by her side and had demanded he gave her and her guests a table. It hadn’t sounded like such a bad idea when he had cleaned a table for those women, and even less when they had ordered their drinks, but as he met Tommy’s gaze now, he found himself wishing he hadn’t given in to their request.

“Don’t know,” he tried to shrug it off. “Must be twenty minutes at most.” It had been double that time, almost as long as the private Shelby meeting in the back room had lasted. There was nothing else he could do, though, as the very Polly Shelby that turned his bones into a quivering mess sent him a glare that could have been translated as behave! at best and I’m going to fucking kill you at worst.

“Fuck.”

Tommy poured himself some more whiskey. He turned around for a moment, met Y/N’s playful gaze as she looked up at him from above Finn’s ruffled hair and wondered, why her. It probably hadn’t been a conscious choice – she hadn’t been a conscious choice.

She had just been there, at the station, when he and his brothers had come back battered and broken from France. She had been there before that, too, and he knew she was still going to be in his family’s life years from now.

She had also been there when the idea of laying eyes on a woman repulsed him, his mind still struggling in the mud of the recently-won war. A friend of John ever since their school days, Tommy had ended up growing attached to her more than he cared to admit. When opium was the only remedy to the gurgling void he carried inside, she was there, her hand on his, shooing the bombings away. He had ended up taking more than she had initially offered and she had ended up taking all he had to give – skin, wounds, Romani words whispered in the semi-darkness of his room as the ricocheting echoes of the nightmares he had found himself living in for four years tumbled down those four walls that always seemed to close in on him, turning everything into a never-ending tunnel.

“Fuck,” he groaned again, unable to help himself.

Her stubbornness had been one of the things that had helped his business stand on its feet while he, Arthur and John had been away, he was sure of that, but now he needed her alive. Needed her safe. Safe from what he knew his life could cause her.

“Have you seen who’s come?” John sounded both happy and tired as he called him from behind before moving to stand by his side. He took a glance at the bottle of whiskey on the counter before pouring himself some into his brother’s tumbler.

Tommy’s answer was a groan.

“Polly will go bonkers when she finds out we had a meeting without her.”

“Oh, she already knows,” Tommy sighed, daring another glance behind his shoulder. “That’s why she’s here. And that’s why she’s brought Y/N.”

“To cause a bigger scene?” John joked, but his chuckle faded into silence when he met nothing but steel in his brother’s eyes.

“You come with me now,” the oldest said, taking a swig from the bottle and relishing in the burning that scratched down his throat. “And you take both Finn and Poll home. Make sure Finn’s in bed before you update her.”

“She won’t listen, you know that, don’t you?” John smirked, turning to glance at his childhood friend. There was no need to specify it was her he was talking about because he was more than sure that his brother knew. “She never does. That’s why I like her: she just doesn’t give a fuck about who we are.” And with a chuckle, he shook his head.

“There was no need to send Finn back home, it’s still early,” Y/N half-heartedly complained when Tommy pushed her into the tranquillity of the Shelbys’ private back room. “He just wanted to hang out around his brothers. You know he admires you.”

He didn’t turn to look at her: he simply walked past her and, unhurried, closed the small window that gave on the counter of the bar, providing them with much-needed privacy in a place like the Garrison. He didn’t need to see those loose hair that had escaped her hairdo and that he found stupidly… cute. Nor did he need to put two and two together and focus on the fact that she was wearing the dress he – he – had given her on her birthday.

Instead, he focused on the table in front of him: he walked up to it, put the bottle of whiskey he had left the counter with down on it and moved the glass ashtray closer to where he was going to sit. “It’s not Finn’s presence that bothers me,” he said eventually.

“Polly’s always-”

“What do I always tell you? This place-”

“If you’re implying that it’s my presence here that bothers you, Tommy Shelby, you can stick it up your-”

“Those are strong words for a lady.” He stared at her as he fixed a cigarette between his lips, lit it and took a first drag. He was trying to keep the ice in his eyes, but it never lasted, not with her. Not when she was the light next to him in the tunnel, not when she was the burning day that dug the French darkness away.

She shrugged, taking a step forward to rest her hands on the seatback of one of the chairs. Freshly manicured nails, painted red, for once – a clear sign that she had spent the day with his sister Ada. “Foolish of you to think, after all the years we’ve known each other, that I am a lady.”

Tommy smirked. “You like to pretend you are one, though.”

For a moment, her only answer was a chuckle as she bent forward to steal the cigarette from his lips. He watched as she took a drag, mere centimetres from his face, her twinkling eyes set on his, before she exhaled the smoke when she moved ever closer and her cheek brushed against his.

She was warm against him, with that perfume of jasmines wrapping her like a bridal veil. “Only with you, Mr. Shelby.”

She straightened her back, then, stood as tall and proud as only she could be in that blue dress of hers. Before he could stop her, she put out the unfinished cigarette in the ashtray.

He sat back, unbothered, and lit himself another cigarette and in the process, he never took his eyes off of her. He looked at her, he truly did, maybe for the first time that night.

She was a dream. A dream and a nightmare all in one, for she was stubborn and headstrong and probably had more balls than many of the men at his service. She never cowered – not under his gaze, not under Arthur’s, and even less under John’s. His men didn’t scare her, his business didn’t scare her, the dark corners of Small Heath didn’t scare her. That was probably the reason why he had taken it upon himself to protect her – from bullets, from secrets, from any bad dream-inducing aspect of his life.

Not that she needed it, but a man could still dream.

“How many times have I told you not to come here at night?” he asked her, puffing out smoke in her direction, twirling the cigarette between his fingers.

The right corner of her lips rose up into a half-smirk as she exhaled from the nose, loudly, trying to keep in the chuckle. “I don’t know,” she answered, drawing her shoulders back a little. “I seldom listen when you talk.”

Tommy resisted the impulse of pinching the bridge of his nose, but not the one that pushed him to close his eyes for a couple of seconds before grunting. “Do you at least know why I ask you the things I do?”

“Tommy Shelby never wants me to have fun, officer!” she drawled out, reminding him more of John than of the serious young woman she knew how to be.

“Stop being foolish and come here.”

She grabbed onto his outstretched hand and let him gently pull her forward until she was standing next to him. A more demanding tug on her arm forced her between his legs before he hoisted her up on the table. “Stop being so serious, Tommy.” She rested her hands on his, still on her hips, and dragged a foot along his thigh. “What’s the answer to that question?”

God, the things he couldn’t tell her!

“The men could get the wrong idea.” It was true, it was a possibility, one very near and always looming over any nice lady that walked through the doors of the Garrison.

She nodded. “I’m not scared of these men.”

“You should be.”

He couldn’t tell her he was doing anything in his power to protect her because she wouldn’t listen and in her haste to prove him wrong, he was sure she would end up proving him right.

“Half of them is too drunk to piss outside their pants and the other half of them is not drunk enough to fight a Shelby. And the ones that don’t know who you are, who this place,” and she gestured vaguely at the walls of the room, “belongs to, don’t scare me because I always have a knife in my boot.”

He wasn’t shocked to hear that revelation. And if he had to be honest, finding out that she walked around unarmed would have left him speechless.

“I still need you to listen to me when I talk to you.” He was slowly pushing the gown of her dress up her legs, exposing the silk of her tights. Hands rough and calloused against her clothed skin, he felt her boot until he found her knife. And smirked.

Tommy Shelby rarely smiled but his smirks were still enough to make Y/N’s heart stop beating for a second before starting to race like a racehorse.

“I’m listening now,” she breathed as he stood between her legs, his hands coming up her shins and pushing the dress over her knees.

“I want you to do the things I tell you to,” he continued.

“I take no orders.”

He leant forward, his lips as light as the touch of a feather against the base of her neck. “If I tell you not to come to the Garrison alone at night, you don’t come.”

“I wasn’t alone.” She was panting, her hands now supporting her weight on the table as he made her lean backwards a little. “I was with Polly. And Finn.”

He didn’t say anything, he let his touches speak for him. His lips kissed up the side of her neck, the tip of his tongue coming out to swipe along her skin every now and then as his hands moved from her knees to her inner thighs and inched closer to her core.

“Tommy…”

“If I say, listen to me, you do,” he whispered in her ear, lips brushing against the lobe before moving to kiss just below it. Her breath shivered against the skin of his cheek as she tilted her head back slightly. “If I want to keep you safe, you better let me.”

“You worry too much.” Her voice was a breath against his lips when he cradled her face in his hands. Lips brushing against lips, she could barely keep her gaze focused on his.

“And you worry too little.”

He kissed her, then. Slow and tender at first, almost innocently, before he let his tongue swipe along her lower lip, tasting the wax of her lipstick, and the kiss deepened. She tasted like whiskey and there was a hint of cigarette from when she had taken a drag from his.

“I’ll make sure you listen this time,” he murmured against the skin of her neck as his hands slid down her sides and back between her legs, fingertips gently tracing a line on her covered core.

“I won’t.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” he chuckled, pushing the table back and kneeling down in front of her.

Please, please, please, let me know how this story was. I’m new in this fandom and I’m both excited and terrified haha

Again, if you want to be tagged in my PB stuff, just let me know somehow :)

TAGS (to be added to or to be removed from any list, shoot me an ask)

Everything: @idhrenniel @saibh29 @fuckthatfeeling @aya-fay @pebblesz892 @mblaqgi

People that might be interested: @sweetvengeancee @kind-wolf @flowers-in-your-hayr

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby #thomas shelby imagine #peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders x reader #angelaiswriting

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salemwolfgang · 5 years

Text

Wild Ride

Request: “Hi!! First of all, i love your writing. I have a request :) I literally had a dream about this and I NEED someone to write it lol. A fan (young girl in her 20’s) meets Jeffrey Dean Morgan backstage at a comic con (she’s like obsessed with him) and he’s nice to her but standoffish bc he can see how crazy she is lol. But anyway, something happens where he ends up having to give her a ride home (like he sees her walking or something) on his motorcycle and she starts touching him.. there 😳 but he keeps moving her hand away. (So he’s playing super hard to get) and when he drops her off at home he walks her in and becomes EXTREMELY dominant and rough and fucks her. Like an angry fuck for teasing him so much. And after, he feels super guilty. Sorry this was so detailed 😫😶 I just really want a fic where Jeffrey plays super hard to get with the reader and she teases the shit out of of him until he can’t take it anymore”

Pairing: Jeffrey Dean Morgan x Reader

Warning: Smut and Cursing

A/N: I don’t mind having a lot of detail in requests, it kinda helps a lot actually. Also I changed it from home to hotel. I know that not all of this is correct but I changed it to fit the story better. I do plan on editing it and making it a bit longer as well if you guys want. Other than that, enjoy!

It had always been your dream to go to a Comic Con and take photos with your favorite actors. You especially wanted one with Jeffrey Dean Morgan, he had been your favorite actor for years now. Ever since you saw him in Days Of Wrath you fell in love with his acting.

You started watching his movies and soon fell in love with not only his acting but him. Sure the age difference was massive, he could be your dad, and he was older than the guys you normally slept with but there was just something about him that made you feel some type of way. You embarrassingly have to admit that you’ve even had a few dreams about him that have left your bed sheets soaked.

When you heard that the Jeffrey was going to the con that would be at a city near you, you just had to go. For weeks you worked extra shifts to try and save up more money for meetup tickets. When the time came, you had managed to pull together three hundred dollars for the con. Plus some extra for food, the hotel and for merchandise. You planned on going to the con for the whole week plus an extra day.

A day before the con you drove to the city and checked into your hotel and walked around the city to see what places you could go to after the con. You looked for restaurants that you could go to after and picked up a few things you thought you’d need for the con. When you finished you went back to the hotel.

After putting everything where it should go and laying out you outfit you walked over and plopped onto the bed. Resting your head on the pillows your mind began to race with all the excitement of finally meeting your favorite people. You had never done something like this and it was exciting. So much so it took you a bit before your could finally sleep properly.

A few hours later you woke frantically to the sound of your phone alarm blaring. You turned it off and got your things together to shower and get ready. You ordered room service to deliver breakfast to you at nine. When it arrived you were dressed and your hair had been fixed to what your found a suitable look. You ate your breakfast while checking through your phone for any updates on the con and checked some of the few cosplayers that would be there.

Your first day was quite exciting. You met two of the actors you adored and and bought a few shirts from the stands in the building. It was quite tiring walking around so you left a bit earlier than you wanted and got dinner at a restaurant before heading back to the hotel. You mimicked your retune from the night before but this time you spent a little extra time in the shower.

You found the shower head to be a great tension reliever.

After you went to bed this time, you fell asleep much easier and without to much trouble.

Your morning schedule was much like yesterday’s your outfit for today was a bit more revealing due to your excitement and wanting to show off to Jeffrey. On your way to the con you drifted in and out of your thoughts. They wondered about thinking of all the possible, very unrealistic, outcomes of today. They all made your heart buzz in your chest.

Before you knew it you were in line for the pictures and you were incredibly anxious. A woman who was also waiting noticed and turned to you with a light, comforting, smile.

“First time?” She asked.

“Second.” You corrected, “I’ve only done this with one other time and that was yesterday.”

“Meeting famous people will do that to yah. Especially with a man like Jeffery, he’s just so hot yah know?”

“I know, ugh. He’s so talented too; both in movies, shows and modeling.” Talking to this woman greatly calmed you down. You felt all of your nerves and worries shed away like an unwanted second skin.

You and her talked for a few more minutes while you were waiting. You found out her name was Amelia and that she was from southern Ohio. She came up with some friends who were touring around the city and going to the con as well for other people. She was also around your age and was just as obsessed with Jeffrey as you were.

This being your first con you decided to go all out and purchase a VIP badge to get you backstage with the actors along with a few others. Sadly Amelia was not one so she ended up going into another line. You luckily managed to get her Instagram and Twitter account before she had to go up for the meetup.

After waiting a while the actors finally started coming back stage to meet the VIP fans. There were only twenty of them so it wasn’t too overwhelming for the actors. You looked around at all of the ones who were there: Lauren Cohan, Steven Yeun, Katelyn Nacon, Tom Payne and Jeffrey were the ones who were doing the con for tonight.

You waited excitedly to talk to Jeffrey. While you waited you managed to get a few photos and have a conversation with some of the other actors. Though you weren’t overly into The Walking Dead, you still enjoyed it. You talked to the actors about their characters and what it was like filming the show and other movies they were in.

Thankfully you managed to finally get to Jeffrey after around thirty minutes of waiting. The excitement you had bubbled up and you smiled brightly at him. Jeffrey smiled polity back.

“Hello.” His voice was calm but he was very hesitant.

Though you seemed like a nice person, he’s seen the things fans have done. Things that were quite fucked up. Luckily you didn’t appear to be at that level, he hoped.

“Is there anything you’d like me to sign?” You nodded and handed him two shirts and a photo card.

He was quite surprised, the had others handed him so many things and it took a while to get it all done. He signed them quickly and then handed them back without saying much.

“I’m sorry I’m not talking much, the others wore me out. Anyways, do you have any questions?”

“Ah yes but just three, don’t worry. First, how's your farm doing? Any new pets?”

“It’s doing very well actually. I am getting some new animals but not for a while.”

Your smile seemed to grow bigger at his answer. All anxiety gone on slightly lingering but otherwise gone.

“Oh sweet, that’s awesome! Do you plan on taking any new roles yet? Or just waiting until you’re finished with The Walking Dead?”

“And last, how has your day been so far? You must be exhausted.” You voice was sympathetic towards him not wanting to add on to the stress he already felt.

“Just like every other con, some good and some bad. For the most part it’s been good.” His lips curled into a smile, a small one but one non the less.

“That’s good!” You paused admiring his relaxed features.

Times like these reminded you of how much you liked him.

“Okay, well that’s all. I’ll leave you alone now haha.” You got up and left with some other members out the exit.

You only stayed at the con for another hour before deciding to head back to your hotel. Your feet were sore from all the walking and you were ready for a rest. As you walked out of the building you checked your money to see if you had some for a cab or Uber but sighed when you realized you wouldn’t have enough for either.

“Looks like I’m gonna have to walk then.” You groaned out.

God this sucked.

Slowly you made your way back to the hotel. You had only been walking for a minute or two when suddenly a bike pulled up to you. The rider got off and walked towards you while taking off their helmet. You couldn’t believe it. It was Jeffery.

“What--what are you doing?” You were in awe that he was next to you again.

“I uh--I saw you walking and you looked exhausted so I thought I could give you a lift perhaps. What hotel are you staying at?” His voice was sincere towards you and you felt your chest flutter at the kind gesture.

“Oh you don’t have to. I can walk just-”

“No, I insist. It’s fine really.” He put his hand out that held onto the helmet for you to use.

“Umm okay then.” As you hesitantly grabbed onto it and walked towards the bike; you told him the name of the hotel you were staying at.

You put on the helmet and sat down behind him on the seat. When he got on you snaked your hands around his waist and held on tightly. Rarely did you ride motorcycles so you were slightly on edge the first few seconds.

Though, after a few minutes, you got more confident on your position. Your hands drifted towards his crotch. You rubbed him lightly but before you went harder he moved your hand away. You felt his breathing get heavier as the ride went on. After reacting your actions once again, and being rejected again, you stopped thinking he was no longer interested. Unknown to you; that was that far from the truth.

Sadly your ride came to an end and you arrived at your hotel. Embarrassingly you got off of the motorcycle, saying a quick goodbye to Jeffrey as well as taking the helmet off to hand it back to him, and headed into the entrance. Though right as you were about to enter a hand grabbed onto your arm.

You quickly turned around expecting some weird stranger but instead found Jeffrey. His face was flushed and his hair very unkempt.

“You...” He gestured down to his pants. “Need to fix this. Now.” His voice was deeper than you’ve heard it before.

It was hot.

You said nothing and just nodded. You then grabbed his hand and began pulling him up to your room. Right as your door open Jeffrey pushed the door open and grabbed onto your hips. He slammed the door shut then you on the wall.

His mouth pushed onto yours and he hungrily pried your mouth open to taste you. You moaned at the feeling of his aggressive movements. This was more than you could ever ask for. You had little time to indulge in the kiss because he soon pulled away. His hands grabbed your thighs and he lifted you in one swift movement causing you to let out a small shriek, to which he laughed at. He then carried you to the bed and set you on it. He released his hold on you to remove his shirt and unbuckle his pants.

You began to remove your clothing as well, excitement bubbling inside you causing you to completely soak your underwear. When you were both completely nude he climbed on top of you. His stare only made the fire in your stomach to grow. You were desperate for him and only him now.

“What you did on the way here was very rude of you. Maybe I should do the same?” The thought of him teasing and edging you on sent a shiver of excitement down your spine.

“But as much as I’d want to tease the absolute fuck out of you right now; I can’t wait to just sink my cock into you.”

His lips began to trail down your jaw, neck, collarbones. Only stopping to remove your shirt and bra to continue onto your breasts. You let out a needy wine and moved your hips up to meet his.

A small, but deep, groan left his lips.

“God, you’ll be the end of me.”

Jeffrey unbuckled and removed his pants and your did the same. He crawled on top of you and kissed your roughly. His tongue dove into your mouth with out hesitation. While distracted her moved his hands down to your inner thighs. With one swift movement your legs were pulled wide open and you wet pussy now on display for him.

He made a hum of satisfaction as he guided his aching cock along your folds. You were so wet and just from him being aggressive too. He was going to enjoy this.

Before he pushed in he looked you in the eyes and his features seemed to soften he then whispered, “Tell me if it hurts and I’ll stop.”

You nodded in understatement, you wanted this; always have and will. With that in mind he thrusted roughly into you. The light sting seemed to add on to the pleasure surprisingly. You moaned loudly and it seemed to drive him to start at a rough pace.

You held onto his back, nails digging into his skin. Your head thrown back and buried into the pillows; chest heaving. Man, were you a sight to behold for him. He watched as you came undone around his cock. He found himself getting close and a few thrusts later Jeffrey came into your pussy, a loud moan leaving his lips as he did so.

Your orgasm quickly followed and he let you ride it out on him.

“We should,” your breathe was uneven and you took in big gulps so you could talk properly. “Definitely do this again,” you continued.

“Next time I’m free, I’ll call you.” He genuinely meant it. He liked you, he liked this.

Slowly he pulled out of you and laid next you. His arms wrapped around you and the both of you laid on the bed. A minute or to later and Jeffrey turned to you.

“Ready for another few rounds?”

“Hell yes.”

You moved to sit on top of him, your shaky legs wrapped around his hips. Slowly you guided his cock into you once again. This time there was no pain, only strong pleasure.

He grabbed you hips and helped you ride him, you both lasted much longer than the first time. As you rode him he pulled you down against him and started sucking harshly on your neck leaving a trailed of hickies along your neck.

He wanted to bruise you up and show everyone how much fun you had last night. Seeing you covered in his marks riled him up and his grip on you tightened and you felt yourself cum a second time. You’ve never felt so good before.

“Hold on baby girl, I’m not done just yet.”

He quickly flipped the both of you so he was on top again. His pace slowed but was still harsh, then he came in you again.

“This night is going to be fun.” You smiled up at him and he smirked at you.

“You bet your ass.”

#jeffrey dean morgan #jeffery dean morgan x reader #jeffery dean morgan x you #x reader #x you #twd x you #twd x reader #negan x reader #negan x you #request

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jessaadventures-blog · 6 years

Text

Week Five: Craziness!

Sunset at the water tower!

Wow. SO much happened this week! It ended up being full of adventures and unexpected surprises!

P.S. I’m going to start posting on Mondays permanently because I rarely have time to write the post for Friday and we generally don’t have much wifi over the weekend! This post includes both last weekend and this past weekend.

The EcoHouse

Isa and I with our new sign!

We’ve had some more change over in the house this week! Isa left on Friday after being here for two months, and it’s definitely weird without her. She was my cooking buddy, so now I’ve gotta find a newbie to help me make food (or convince the guys to help me make their huge portions of food haha). Isa is off to Lima for a few days and then she’s heading to Cuzco and Machu Picchu before going home to her second year at Florida State. A pretty impressive trip for her first time out of the US!

Brady left this Sunday, and it’s weird without him here too. He was our funny southern fix-it guy and he definitely had a big presence in the house! He’s heading home to study for the LSAT and then (hopefully) heading to law school in Vermont. He’s a super intense skier and really wants to come ski at Mt. Baker, so maybe I’ll see him someday soon!

We also had two new arrivals this Saturday! Orianna goes to Northeastern and just finished her second year there in engineering. She’s going to be helping out with renewable energy and restarting an aeroponics project using solar panels to grow herbs super fast! She seems great, and we’ve already gone out surfing together, she seems like a go-getter.

Seth is from Indiana University and did his bachelor’s in environmental science and is doing his master’s in energy, so he’s also here for renewable energy (we have seven volunteers right now and six are here for renewable energy, so a lot of awesome energy stuff is going to be happening)! He’s starting a project called Hole in the Wall, where a computer is put in an outdoor wall in a public area and protected so the screen can’t be touched (basically cemented inside a concrete wall with a thick plastic barrier over it) and there is a keyboard stuck outside and the computer is given internet access and powered using solar panels and left there. Then the community (especially kids) can use the computer at any time to teach themselves various things, but they have to figure it out on their own. At other Hole in the Walls there’s apparently been a really impressive rate of learning by the kids that use the computer; they’ve taught themselves English and complicated science concepts and other cool things. We’re going to try to create Peru’s first Hole in the Wall!

We also have a volunteer coming today, Claudia, and I’m excited to meet her!

Other than the volunteer change overs, we had some good food again this week. We did our classic taco tuesday and made some vegan cookies for dessert, which we ate while playing Secret Hitler (our favorite board game) and drinking pisco sours. On Wednesday night Isa and I had a lasagna-off (we had a ton of lasagna noodles to use) and she made a non-vegan lasagna while I made a vegan one. Both turned out really good and not many people could tell that mine was vegan! I’m getting better at improvising recipes, and I really liked the way I made that lasagna (although I only had sweet soy milk to use, so it turned out a little sweet but it would be amazing with unsweetened almond milk).

Isa and I also made her a crazy vegan going away cake that was pretty damn amazing (and super rich). It was two layers; the bottom layer was vanilla chocolate chunk (Andres found vegan chocolate in Talara) and the top layer was vanilla with strawberry puree. We made vegan chocolate ganache and put it between the layers with fresh strawberries and drizzled it on top as well. Everyone agreed that it was delicious! We also had a bunch of pears going bad, so Andres made a sugar-less pear crumble one morning that really didn’t need any sugar; it was really good!

Our yummy vegan layer cake :)

I also tried to make a lentil curry this weekend, which kind of worked but we didn’t have all the spices I needed so it mostly just tasted like slightly spicy lentils. I’ll try again soon and hopefully it’ll turn out better!

Work

An EcoTeam jumping selfie from our hike day! (See the adventure section)

Work this week was pretty chill, but we still got a lot done! We had friends join for planting day again, a guy named Connor from Ireland who is staying at La Casona came and helped out and there were some friends of one of the members of EcoSwell’s UK team that were visiting so they helped out as well! Our veggie garden is half planted and we transferred some seedlings and planted more seeds for germination! Most of planting day was spent removing invasive tree stumps from the front yard though. We hacked away at those things forever and ended up removing two huge stumps and a few little trees that were springing up. It was a fun planting day with some groovy music though!

As for the distiller, we painted it with wood primer because the water was starting to damage the window frame (it was nasty, sticky stuff that got in my hair and is still in my hair a week later…) and I fixed the door handle and we found some bigger water jugs to distill the water into. We’re getting more silicone today, so this week we have to seal up any little cracks and make the whole distiller as air-tight as possible to keep the heat and the water vapor in! We’re also working on some really cool components that should increase the efficiency even more, stay tuned! We tested the distiller again this week and got similar results (about 10 liters out when we put 40 liters in) so hopefully our next test, after all the improvements, will give us a higher yield!

On Thursday morning we all went hiking in Piedritas, a nearby town! See the adventure section for the story.

Other than that, I’ve been organizing social media posts three times a week and have finally started lining up facebook posts and instagram posts, so there’s been progress there! Isa and I also painted a cute sign for the EcoSwell entrance, because before you could only tell that this is the EcoSwell house coming from one direction. I think we did a pretty great job and it was a fun creative outlet!

Adventures

The interns grabbing a beer in Mancora!

There were a lot of adventures this past week! I’ll try to make this section short-ish, but there’s lots to tell :)

Last weekend was Peruvian Independence Day and, coincidentally, Brady’s birthday. All of the volunteers decided to go spend a night in the famous beach/party town of Mancora to celebrate! Mom and I had gone for a quick day trip the weekend before, so I was the only one that had spent any time there (Isa had bussed through Mancora, but that was it). We headed out after an early lunch on Saturday, caught the combie to Talara and a van to Mancora and checked into our hostel, Palosanto Backpackers, as soon as we got there. There were seven of us, so we got a whole hostel dorm room to ourselves! The hostel had a bar, a pool, a restaurant, and a bunch of comfy hammocks. Once we were settled we headed to the beach to check out the town and the crowds (there were TONS of people ready to celebrate Peru’s independence). Music was blasting all along the beach, and we found a restaurant on the beach to grab a snack and a beer while we people watched. There were banana boats and crazy water hover boards speeding around just off the shore, and it was fun to watch some of the beginner surfers trying to stand up. After some yucca fries and our beers (have I mentioned that the beers here are 650 ml and about $2 USD and quite good?), we wandered around the booths for a bit before stopping at a convenience store to stock up for our party night. We got some Pisco, of course, because you have to drink Peru’s national liquor on their independence day! We weren’t allowed to bring the alcohol into the hostel, so we went back to the beach and hung out watching a soccer game and sipping our drinks. Isa and I bought a coconut to drink, in classic tourist fashion. The guy who sold us the coconut told us to make it a “CocoLoco” by adding some of our Pisco, which was a wonderful recommendation ;) Once the sun had set, we went and played some games in our room to pass the time and then went to find some veggie burgers for dinner. We ended up in a place that was only playing the Red Hot Chili Peppers and had a funny bartender in a big chef’s hat. The food was okay, and we wandered around afterwards trying to find the best place to celebrate. The beach was crazy, there were lights flashing and so many different bars playing different music and lots of drunk people taking pictures. There’s also a famous hostel called Loki that apparently has the craziest parties, but the line was huge so we ended up back at our hostel, which was also throwing a party. However, the party didn’t start until 1am and didn’t pick up until almost 3am, by which time most of us were fast asleep (we usually go to bed at 10 in the EcoHouse). Most of us made it until around 2 and got a bit of dancing in, but only Ale and Brady saw the true Mancora party scene, and they were out until 5am! In the morning we got our free breakfast at the hostel and hung out on the beach for a bit before gathering our things and grabbing lunch at the Black Sheep (the really yummy vegan restaurant that Mom and I went to the weekend before) and hopping on the Eppo bus home. Needless to say, the rest of that day was very chill and everyone went to bed early that night, but it was a fun adventure that brought us all closer together!

On Monday night we hiked up to the water tower for the sunset, which was nice but there was a marine layer blocking the lower part of the sunset that you could just tell was amazing! That night, a group of us had gotten back from dinner at Tranqui’s and were talking when Andres noticed a fire up the hill. A nearby house had caught fire (they figured out it was an electrical fire) and people were gathering trying to put it out (Lobitos doesn’t have a fire department). We ran to help out. It was pretty scary because this area is very dry, so the fire could have easily spread and destroyed much of Lobitos. Luckily, the community really rallied, bringing fire extinguishers and carrying buckets of water and shoveling dirt on the flames, and the fire was put out and no one was hurt. I was impressed and inspired by how many people drove from all corners of town to help fight the fire, it shows how close-knit the Lobitos community is.

On Thursday the Directors decided to take us on a work outing to Piedritas, the little town between Lobitos and Talara, to show us the hiking trails that EcoSwell is trying to develop into an ecotourism and education destination. We spent four hours hiking the rough trails in the dry forest, spotting cool birds and other wildlife, identifying plants, jumping across a muddy stream or two, and admiring the view over the dry forest from the highest point on the trails. It was a really fun day and showed us the beauty and the potential of the area. The trail project is about to take off, so I may get to help a little with that before I leave! Maybe my trail work experience will come in handy :)

Heading out on the hike in Piedritas!

On Friday morning we had the opportunity to go jump off one of the abandoned offshore oil rigs, and most of the volunteers decided to go (including me)! Tullio, the same guy that took us fishing, loaded us and a bunch of other people from nearby hostels into his boat and we puttered off to the platform. When we got there there were two huge sea lions lying on the stairs, so we had to scare them off by yelling at them until they sleepily rolled off the platform. The oil platforms have three levels, one four meter (13 ft), one eight meter (26 ft), and one fourteen meter (46 ft). We got to choose which to jump off of, and almost everyone went off the tallest one. It was high!! But the adrenaline rush was great and no one was hurt worse than a couple of tight muscles and bruises from landing wrong (I landed well and was perfectly fine!). I’ve done a lot of cliff jumping, and it was different to jump into the big ocean waves but nice to not have to try to avoid rocks when I jumped. It was definitely an experience and took some nerve, but it was a lot of fun and now I can say that I’ve jumped off the top of an offshore oil rig!

The oil rig we jumped off of (those stacks of tires at the bottom are about as tall as me, for reference).

I also went surfing twice in the past few days, and I’m determined to start going more often! It was a lot of fun, and both times I got up on the board at least four times. Also, the water has been really warm lately, so there’s no need for wetsuits! I’m ready to become a surfer girl :)

Finally, we went out to El Cuartel (a restaurant/hostel mom and I went to) for the first time with the EcoTeam for Isa’s last night and it was delicious! Most of the guys got veggie burgers (Ale is going vegetarian for August, yay!), I got a quinoa salad, and Isa got what looked like an amazing seafood risotto! On the way home it was pitch dark and everyone was admiring the milky way and the constellations. It was a fun night with everyone, and El Cuartel is becoming my favorite restaurant in Lobitos (though it is the furthest away from the house).

Phew! I think that covers all the adventures this week. This past weekend was really nice and chill; I spent most of the time reading (I’ve moved on to rereading the Harry Potter series), hanging out on the beach, surfing, and cooking. I’m looking forward to the next four weeks and what adventures they bring!

Looking out over the Piedritas dry forest :)

It’s been the craziest and most fun week yet, but I also have been missing home more than ever. When I can get online, the pictures of the mountains and green trees remind me of all the hikes I love in the summer and the mountain views that I love so much. I’m sad to be missing summer traditions, but this is truly an incredible experience and I’m trying my best to live in the moment! I’m sure I’ll have my fair share of mountains, trees, and views in my three weeks in Patagonia at the end of summer!

That’s all for now, miss and love you all! Look for another update next Monday :)

#EcoSwell #summer2018 #Lobitos #Peru

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diianawonka · 7 years

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Requested by: @weallhaveadestiny

“Hello there! Hope you’re okay! Was wondering if you could do a reader x bill skarsgard where reader meets bill for the first time in stockholm, she doesn’t know he is an actor, and he wants to keep it that way. But, fans get involve. Rest is up to you if you feel inspired :) xx “

Pairing: Bill Skarsgard x Reader

A/N: Okay.. this is the first time I’ve write something with Bill, I‘m having a really bad crush on him and I can’t deal with him an his green eyes and everything. He’s such an amazing actor! I was in shock when I saw him as Pennywise. Sorry for my horrible english, I swear I’m trying my best. :c

Title: Fika

You had spent the last twelve hours on a plane traveling to Stockholm on a trip that you had planned with your friends, they were dead tired and seemed that no one were interested in spending their first day out of their country exploring the big city, but you were an energetic girl, you used to be quiet and reserved in some things but your energy for everything was very impressive, you were that kind of people that just seeing them transmitted good vibes, so you decided to go out alone, you were not going to miss a single day of your trip.

You left the hotel where you and your three friends were staying and started to walk on the sidewalk with your hands inside your coat, you took some pictures of a big park, you loved to take pictures and publish them in your Instagram account, just for hobby. You also were a big fan of coffee, so you had made a promise to taste one from every place that you visited; on your way, you found a small cafe “Yummies coffee & bistro” you read in the entrance, you approached just when the first drops of rain had begun to fall; it was a rustic place, with some wooden little tables, each one adorned with a small desert plant in the center, there were plenty of Christmas lights everywhere that along with the light coming from the outside lit the place to perfection.

A guy with big green eyes who was sitting at one of the tables in the background watched you closely when you came in and gave you a small smile, you smiled back and chose a table by the window with a view to the outside and you sat to see the rain, you were sunk in your thoughts when the waitress’ voice took you out of your cave.

“Välkommen, fröken, kan jag erbjuda dig något att dricka? ”(literally I’ve translate this in google HAHA sorry) and in that moment you regretted not knowing Swedish, the young waitress left a menu on the table

“Sorry?” you said shyly in english

“Oh! Excuse me miss” she start speaking English” let me looking for another menu for you” she said taking back the menu that she had placed on the table before” May I offer you something to drink while I’m back?”

“I can wait, thank you” you said giving her a wide smile”

Several minutes had passed and it seemed that the waitress had completely forgotten about you; you decided to entertain yourself a few minutes checking your social networks on your cellphone, nothing new, just a few notifications from your family asking you how you were and some likes in the photo that you had uploaded just when you arrived in the city.

“Hello” you heard a manly voice next to you and turn yourself to see him. It was the green-eyed guy from before, he was too tall and was wearing a black coat

“Hi” you said gently, you didn’t know him, you had never seen him in your life before this day

“Are you waiting for someone?” he asked you doubting “I’ve seen you the last ten minutes and it seems like the waitress just forgot about you”

You laughed vigorously at his comment “No, I’m not expecting anyone, apparently she’s looking for a menu in English, I think she’s translating it herself” the man laughed

“I can help you order if you want, May I sit?”

You nodded “of course” He sat in the chair in front of you while looking at you

“You’re not from here… American?” he asked

“How did you know?”

“Your accent, your way of dressing, your essence” he laughed softly

“Are you telling me that I transmit Americanism?” you looked at him frowning

“Sort of…” you both laughed “I’m Bill by the way”

“I’m Y/N”

“Well YN, I don’t mean to bother you, I’m just trying to be a good citizen, let me call the waitress” He raised his hand and a different waitress appeared, she gave a menu to Bill and he started looking “anything special? “. He asked you

“mmmh” you said with your arms on the table “I would like to try… I don’t know, maybe something typical of the country? What do you recommend?”

“Maybe a köttbullar?” you look surprised

“what is that?”

“Meatballs, actually, Swedish meatballs, they’re good, especially in this bistro”

“Okay, I’ll eat it” Bill ordered in Swedish and the waitress said that she was coming back with your food”

You both continued talking and laughing for a while “What brings you here, Y/N?”

“Well, my friends and I plan a trip every year, this time we decided to do something bigger and come here, we all agree to want to know Stockholm, I love the weather”

“Really?” he asked you frowning “but it’s rainy and I doubt that you can do much today”

“Well, that didn’t stop me to come here”

He laughed “Why did you come alone? Where are your friends?

“We arrived just today and they were all dead tired to get to know the city, but I couldn’t stop thinking that I would be wasting my first day in Stockholm just because I didn’t sleep on the damn plane” You smiled at him.

“Cool” he said looking through the window “they will love the city, of course, if they decide to leave the hotel someday” you both laughed and the waitress arrived with your food

“Have you lived in here your whole life?” you asked him while giving a look at your food, it’s looks amazing and smell delicious

He kept thinking for a few minutes “something like that, I moved to America seven years ago, but right now I’m visiting my parents like every year”

“really? Why would you move to America? I mean… Stockholm is wonderful”

“Work” He said with a simple smile and you thought that he wasn't ugly at all...

“What do you do?… I just want to be sure that you’re not trying to kidnap me or something” He let out a playful giggle. The waitress approaches to remove the empty dishes and a group of girls appear

“Shit…” He whispered

“Mr. Skarsgard” said one of the girl, was about seventeen years old, Bill turning to see them smiling “ Could you signed this for me, please? “

“Sure…” He said, taking a sharpie and signing a Pennywise poster, you really had no idea what was going on or why these girls came out of looking for Bill and asking him for autographs and pictures, they thanked him and then left ”What were we in?” he asked, you smiled at him “What’s going on?”

“What about those girls?”

“mmmh, dunno, fans I guess” you look at him without understanding, he snorts “I’m an actor, that’s why I moved to America”

“Really?”

“Yep” he sighed “I was going to ask you if you’ll have a Fika with me before these girls showed up, but now I don’t know if you’re going to accept it”

“Fika?”

He smiled shyly “Sorry, I was trying to sound Swedish, that’s how we call at the coffee time”

“Oh… I would have said yes, even without knowing that you were an actor Bill, god, it must be tired to have to live with those girls behind you all the time, uh?” you crossed your arms

“Exhausting, annoying, but sometimes it’s fun, I mean, when you’re not trying to invite a girl who treats you like a normal human being, to go out”

You laugh putting your hand on your stomach “I’m full, I had planned to just have some coffee”

“Well, now we have one pending”….

requests are open! (x)

MASTERLIST

#Bill Skarsgard #Bill Skarsgard Imagine #Bill Skarsgard x Reader #Bill Skarsgard fanfic #It #Pennywise #Hemlock Grove #Roman Godfrey

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stillyour-sweetheart · 4 years

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back

Okay, wow. So… let me start off by saying I have absolutely no idea how to write this post. I feel a lot of made up “pressure” to be able to write/explain what’s happened ever since I’ve last been active on this website but I know that that’ll be hard to do perfectly… so I’m going to give myself some wiggle room and simply do my best in expressing what happened, how I felt, and what’s been going on.

So, my name is Annie and I used to run a blog on this website called humanseoul. That blog was not only my creation and baby, but it was also a deep part of me and my being. I ran it for over eight years and I allowed it to capture me at my highest and lowest points. It was a place I could turn towards whenever and it supported me as much as I supported it. Running that blog was amazing and it grew bigger than I imagined it to. Not only was it a creative outlet for me (I started out as an amateur gif maker), but it became a platform for me to use to connect with others in ways I didn’t even know was possible. My inbox was always open and I soon became not only a personal/aesthetic blog, but it became somewhat of an advice column blog. Users (who remained mostly anonymous) would come to my inbox to ask for advice or simply just to tell me about their day. It was a wonderful feeling and my heart would light up whenever I would see a notification(s) of a new message. There were so many things users would tell me… so many stories of relationship issues, grief, stress, triumphs, secrets, and random bits about their day or life. I loved it and I had so much fun reading all of them. There was even a time where I would log in to see tens of messages waiting for me to open and respond to. It was truly a feeling like no other. Having a personal space that was not only safe for me but also for OTHERS made me feel, in a weird way, purposeful… like I was more useful to others than I thought was possible.

I admit, during the time I had my blog I also experienced some of the worst emotional anxiety, stress, and overall lows that I’ve ever felt in my life. I felt like I was constantly running towards a goal that wasn’t even really important to me – yet I felt like I couldn’t stop. I went to counseling on and off, my grades fell then went up, there were applications and rejections, family fights and makeups, tears, stoic expressions, and of course— small moments of joy. With that being said, I know that I used my blog to escape reality and the actual struggles I was going through. I spent so much time trying to help others by using this platform rather than take time to focus on myself and get my life “back in order” (whatever that means… still not sure if I know what that means haha). So in a way, I had an unhealthy obsession with my blog. I wanted to be the safe haven— the safe place that I felt so desperately that I needed for myself yet be that place for others as well. I put pressure on myself to log on every day in order to maintain my blog and answer all the messages I got. I wanted to do a quality job so I would spend a lot of time typing out responses on a separate word document so that I could give replies that were considerate and thoughtful. Yes, it was tiring and yes, I know I had a slightly unhealthy obsession with it— but overall it was so fulfilling and fun. It was reality yet it wasn’t… it was whatever I made it to be.

Fast forward to sometime last winter (was it January?)… I get a DM on instagram asking me whether or not I had been on my blog lately because I’d been blogging some inappropriate content that wasn’t like me… of course I freaked out and tried to log in only to find that my password DIDN’T WORK. Someone had hacked my account and changed my password. During that time I was taking post-bach classes that were extremely important for me and my future steps forward with my educational/career goals… but I dropped what I was doing and desperately tried to change my password/log onto my email to reset it… but they had changed my email’s password as well… and I had no way of resetting my blog’s password. I even went as far as emailing (with a different email account I have) the tumblr staff… only to be met with the fact that they couldn’t do anything about it. So my blog, my safe place, the place I had made not only a place for myself but also for others to find solace… had been infiltrated and controlled. Every time I refreshed my page I was met with inappropriate photos that went against tumblr community guidelines. My heart sank because humanseoul wasn’t mine anymore. I felt defeated and violated. Two days later I tried again to log on and check my blog— only to find that the tumblr staff had deleted it.

I remember feeling so empty yet angry, blank, and utterly helpless when I realized my blog had been taken from me and then deleted. Literally wiped to obliteration, almost as if it never existed in the first place. All the messages I had answered, all the nice comments I’d received, all the personal posts, milestones, emotions, and history I had poured into that blog for the past eight plus years… gone within two days of the hack occurring. I didn’t stand a chance. I was so sad. A type of sad that I’ve never really felt before. I felt as though my hard earned work… a part of myself, had been ripped from me and I didn’t even get an opportunity to really fight for it. But at the same time I felt a sense of relief. I didn’t want my blog to be maintained only with inappropriate, sexual pictures. I didn’t want that to be the last thing people remembered my blog for. So in that sense, I was glad it was quickly deleted. Within the short span of those days after my account was hacked and before it was deleted, I had so many people DM me on instagram (I had it linked on my blog) to tell me that I had been hacked. So many people were concerned and reached out… many tried to help me get it back. I was so touched and I knew that would be the aspect I would miss the most about losing my blog – being able to both give and accept that type of support from people all around.

I was majorly bummed for a long time after that. Sure, my regular life wasn’t too affected by it (no one around me really even knew I had a major blog that was this important to me, except my older sister who was also very upset on my behalf) but I felt a huge part of me missing. I didn’t have my special place I could run to when things in real life got out of control. I didn’t have that platform I could use to easily connect with strangers and offer advice and support. As strange as this ALL may sound, my blog was a home to me, my emotions, and the friends and strangers I had met for OVER EIGHT YEARS. The relationship I had with my blog was longer than some of the relationships I have with my friends in real life! It was special to me and it was ripped away from me. People suggested I just remake my blog, start fresh. But how could I remake something that took me over eight years to build? A place that held so many memories and warmth because I was so blessed and lucky to never have experienced a negative moment or message from anyone. A place I would spend long hours into the night just being myself. I just couldn’t, so I held off. Humanseoul was gone and I didn’t even get a chance to properly say goodbye to anyone… sure the close friends I made throughout my time blogging I had on other SNS like IG and kakao … but what about the others? The ones who would come to me and say they visit my blog every day to find some peace of mind? The ones who would go on anon and regularly ask me how my day was? Or how I’m feeling lately? Or the ones who reached out once in a blue moon to check up on me and send me some love my way? What about them? What would they think of me? And of course those who’d come to me in hopes of advice or just a listening ear? I’ve even had anons promise me things like they’d come back to tell me how an event in their life went… but now how will they? I disappeared after offering support and guidance for 8+ years… what would be my story to them? But I guess that’s a realistic depiction of “the end.” You never know when it’s going to happen but it just does… and you feel the regret. You feel the ‘what if’s’ and the ‘but why’s?’ You feel like you have more time to say the things you want to say only to find out that it’s too late.

So I stayed off tumblr. I never logged back on. I was pleasantly surprised though, that no one could take the URL humanseoul because for some reason it was off the market. The blog had disappeared forever but I was honestly relieved to find out that no one could take its name and make it into something it wasn’t. I finished my post-bach classes, applied to dental school, and got in last December. This was a goal I worked on for years. An unreachable, unthinkable goal for me… at least in the beginning. A goal that caused me so much grief and confusion… and often time still does unfortunately. A goal I came into humanseoul having. I start school late August. But right now that’s hard to even think about because of what’s going on in the world. The global pandemic that’s happening has put life on pause… yet at the same time I feel like everyone is in a frenzy. Within that time I also worked a job I hated, am currently working a job I LOVE (although i’m currently furloughed), and have really experienced a lot of new things in general.

Life is tough and weird. You never know what’ll happen— whether it’s someone hacking your blog and having it get deleted or whether a new virus strikes the world. So much has changed. I’VE changed. Of course I wouldn’t be the same girl who first started humanseoul— that was YEARS ago! To NOT change would be a problem. I know that I’m scared of stagnation. I always strive to be better because I sincerely want to be better. I want to be the best human being I can while I’m alive and I want to share myself with others and the world like how I did with humanseoul. That desire has not and will never change. I’ve become more honest and open about my emotions and feelings. I’m not afraid to acknowledge and admit some of my deepest and most confusing/frustrating emotions. My goal of becoming a dentist? The goal I fought so hard to achieve? Well, I’ve had my second guesses— I always have. I never really wanted to do it. There were just so many outside influences that made me want it. I feel extremely grateful to continue on that path, but I’ve realized I probably would be better and happier doing something else like becoming a therapist or maybe even a graphic designer. Do I think becoming a dentist will be the worst thing ever? No, not entirely. Who knows if I would even be happy going into something other than that. But the fact that I can freely admit this is something I wasn’t able to do long ago and is something I wish I would’ve been able to do when I had a ‘following’ (I hate using that term!) because being honest with yourself is one of the best and most liberating gifts you can give to yourself. I wish I could have been a better model of that before. It’s too late to regret that now and I know I did the best I could back then while trying to grapple with everything I was dealing with. At least I know I’m capable of doing that now.

I thought a long time about what I would call my new blog. It’s a new beginning and I wanted the name to capture something about me. Honestly, nothing can beat humanseoul in my heart but I had to try. One of my favorite (if not favorite people) in the world is my grandma on my mom’s side. She always calls me ‘sweetheart,’ it’s like an instinct for her. She’s still alive and somewhat well but she’s old and I know her time with us is growing shorter and shorter. But no matter what, no matter how far apart we are or whether we’re alive at the same time, I will always be her sweetheart. I chose stillyour-sweetheart as my new URL because ‘still’ means “happening or existing before now and continuing into the present.” It essentially means “has been and will always be,” except in one word. It was perfect to me.

And so, in a sense I’ve been reborn. Humanseoul will no longer be, but I’m still here. I may not be the exact same as I was back during my extremely active days blogging, but hopefully I’ve become better. It’s funny because I feel like I’m writing to others still even though I have no followers and may never even get any. I know inside I have hopes of former followers seeing this and feeling my sincerity and gaining the knowledge of why I left so abruptly. I’m so, so, glad I got to interact with those that I did. I’ve had some of the happiest most fulfilling moments of my life helping out those who came to me. I would go through my ‘nice anon’ tag on the days I felt down and would be reminded of the fact that there truly is love and kindness out in the world even towards strangers. I was reminded of the good inside of me. I was gifted hope. I know no one is likely to see this, but thank you. I can’t say that enough. I just can’t. I felt loved, protected, cared for, and supported by online friends and people I didn’t even know. Thank you for those warm memories. My goal was to help others, but I feel like I’ve received more than I’ve given and for that I will always be grateful.

I also know this whole post could easily come across as dramatic and overly emotional. I know that it’s highly likely that no one even remembers humanseoul or maybe no one even notices that it’s gone, but this is my truth and I stand by it. Regardless of whether or not anyone sees this or remembers me or humanseoul, I’m glad to have written this. I don’t plan on being as active as I once was when I was running my old blog. I’m not using this blog to gain followers and create what I did back then (especially since I’ll be starting hardcore schooling in the fall). I’m not trying to recreate humanseoul. There could never be another for me. However, I’m still the girl who once ran it. I’m Annie and I’m still here for whoever needs me. This blog is both for me and for you (if you wish!) and I’m more than happy to say that. ❤️

#personal

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