#had a psychotic episode :):):)

[meowticta]

just so you know,

i love you people who are in remission of their psychotic disorder/symptoms.

i love you people who don't have a diagnosis yet

i love you people who are psychotic and loud, and have no filter while talking and ranting.

i love you people who dont suffer from any shame when they're psychotic and say ''weird'' shit that only them understand

those who do not care if people think they're weird, annoying, ''dangerous''

those who are violent, who get restrained, those who are in psych wards, the so called ''crazy and insane''

those who have more delusions than hallucinations, or the other way around.

those who, will never recover, those who dont take meds nor therapy

the schizoaffectives, the schizophrenics, the schizophreniform, the brief psychotic disorder ones, those delusionals, to anyone who had or has a psychotic episode because of drugs or other reasons

i love you, you're not a bad person, you have 0 control of what your mind thinks or does, your condition is stigmatized, but i love you, you can take up space, you can talk about your experiences, and that will be valid, and cherished, i know people are afraid of you, of what the mind can do, of what they don't experience, but never believe that you are a bad person because of your psychosis,

be loud, be scary, be dirty, be ''embarrasing'' be ''gross'' be everything, or nothing at all, be proudly mad.

let people know about you, you have a voice, you have stories to tell, and your stories? will always be accepted by the right people, you won't be judged by the right people

this one is for the schizos, for the psychotics, the delusionals.

shoutout to you

#i recently had another psychotic episode a few months ago #and it was the worst thing ever possible #ik how hard it is #hang in there #actually schizoaffective #actually schizospec #schizospectrum #schizo spectrum #schizospec #actually psychotic #psychosis #madpunk #mad punk #is that the correct hashtag?

[junkyardspider]

no because joseph peterson was right for failing that man because wdym i asked you to write an essay on architecture and you instead wrote about how you were almost eaten by weird remnants of people before you jumped out a window and quit your job???

#tmagp #tmagp8 #tmagp spoilers #the magnus protocol #sorry i couldnt hand in my essay on time the paramedics said i had a psychotic episode hahaha #i also may have sustained some physical trauma from jumping out a window #but at least i didnt get eaten!!!

[iwtvdramacd18]

Many others have pointed out the similarities between the tunnel and the church scene but I wanted to put some portions side by side. You can see Louis preemptively offering the question ("ask me for it") and going straight to inviting Armand in. And then Armand having to ask a question (though not one of true permission, we see earlier in the episode he can come and go as he pleases) and Louis leveling him with ofc. "Are you gonna kill me?" Which Armand doesn't answer, simply follows him into his apartment.

Both scenes also have Lestat and Armand revealing some level of vulnerability to Louis before his acceptance of his impending "death" (obv Armand does not kill Louis here, but I think this can easily be read as a threshold being passed in many aspects, fates being sealed (Claudia's especially.) etc. Which I would argue are deaths in motion). While it's Armand's reveal of his former relationship with Lestat and that he's been hurt in the past that's right before him and Louis kissing I think his question of those with the most power being often the weakest that's a better parallel here. Combined with how Armand recounted Lestat's destruction of his coven we have a lot of building up to "I could not prevent it" levels here, and more context for how power functions between Louis and Armand in Dubai.

#louis #armand #loumand #lestat #vampterview #meta #2.3 #there's also a ton to be said about how Louis reacts to the threat of being killed and his suicidality #and also how leading up to both scenes Louis either believes he is going through a psychotic episode (tho lestat is literally in his head) #or literally had one earlier. I want more eps to come in especially that table scene but I think we're gearing up for some more parallels #between Paul and Claudia as well. If only comparing what it means to be a younger sibling of Louis vs his daughter #iwtv spoilers

[martyrbat]

youre allowed to have at least one (1) mental breakdown in the summer without it counting btw. its a freebie for enduring august.

#not to be vague but. something happened. #<- light hearted i prommy i just had a mini psychotic episode & seizure LMAO #BUT ANYWAYS.... HI.... HOW ARE YOU MY BEAUTIFUL FRIENDS.... #my blog has a long queue so i dont think anyone missed me buT i missed you all.... #ransom note #(also ignore that its 5 am....) #(i gotta binge my mutuals accounts later but im about to go to work with a migraine and lowkey still in a manic episode) #(im just desperately waving and tapping the window at all of you)

[alixisherebutringagain]

I had a catatonic episode and I'm feeling so shameful and depressed about it.

I mean, I literally had to have people carry me to our car. I'm so ashamed. All of that because I couldn't move. I couldn't even talk. God, I hate this condition. I wanna cry so bad.

I hate catatonia. I wish I could tear it away from me.

I don't wanna tell more about it today, I'm too ashamed.

#schizo spectrum #mental illness #schizophrenia #schizophrenic spectrum #schizotypal personality disorder #disorganized speech #psychosis #schizotypal #paranoia #psychotic disorders #catatonia #catatonic #catatonic episode #shame #guilt #depressing shit #when the people from my self defense class asked my dad about it #he said it never happened to me #as if it was the first time #and when they asked if i had a condition #he said “i don't think so” #next time just say you don't care about me it's fine

[pancakehouse]

specific themes and thesis of your veronica mars ppt GO

gahhhh molly .. good golly miss molly .. easier to describe what veronica mars ISN’T rather than try to encompass all that it (she) is !!!!!

gawd ok well. we’re obv exploring class divides and social warfare and the haves versus have nots. grief is touching foreheads w revenge and they’re holding hands, spinning in circles, melding into eo until one cannot be separated from the other. it’s witty and smart and CAMPY AS HELL (these aren’t real themes but if the met gala can do it so can i!!). and we’ve got so. so much tragedy -- this takes up like 20+ cumulative slides. and also loss and corruption .. justice and morality (@veronica “someone always has to pay” mars) and then i think i'd finish us off w my top fifteen depictions of LoVe (@logan “lives ruined, bloodshed, EPIC” echolls) LOVE !! which is ofc melded right in w that grief & revenge as the catalyst for literally every single thing that happens from minute one of the pilot on to 10 mins before the end of s4 credits roll.

tldr; my lazy girl thesis statement - in the wise words of sheriff don lamb :: veronica mars is…smarter than me. and so is the show for which she’s named <3 

#and then after i go through every episode of s1-3 + movie scene by scene i look rob thomas in the eye and make him explain to me why #the fuck he decided not to let veronica ~roll around in the mud~ to root out the corruption in neptune once and for all.. we coulda had the #overarching plot of her and weevil and logan and wallace and mac (!!!) and even DICK all using their combined genius & skills & resources t #go up against those deputies w swimming pools and yet .. and yet.......... #nobody messes w MY obligatory psychotic jackass and gets away w it ☹️☹️ #well here is where ik we differ in viewpoints : )) c u in ur inbox soon... hehehe MWAHHH xx #molly tag #veronica mars

[crippledanarchy]

I would have more respect for the self proclaimed neurodivergent community if they weren't so committed to mocking every single already vilified mental illness

#if you use any of those sanist jokes at me we are physically fighting #you people are going to trigger a psychotic episode in someone you had no idea struggled with psychosis #like. this is arguably just as bad if not worse than adding to people's delusions #not everyone has a stable relationship with reality you fucks #it's not just about eroding the meaning of the words we have so that it's harder to get support even though that sucks too #but yeah. as your local psycho. if you ask me 'is X person is in the room right now' im bashing in your teeth #bex talks to themself

[partypacking]

Jol and I have both been heavily dissociative for a few days now, but not in the "blurring" way. We can very clearly feel the lines between each other. Instead we're dissociating in the "nothing feels real" way. Yippie!

#cookie.txt #txt #i had a mild psychotic episode the other day #and the derealization has very much lingered #it's affecting all of us in a way #jol said he feels hollow and yeah i feel that #dissociation tw #tw dissociation

[spacemancharisma]

me: this edible ain’t shit

me, an hour or so later:

#well gang first and last time I’m ever doing drugs #I had a full on psychotic episode #I’m okay now #but yowza #it was like. my brain was trying to give me repressed memories to unlock something or whatever but I Didn’t Want To so I was just #fully regressed into myself at age like 5 but refusing to look too hard at anything #so I was just stuck there #anyway. if you’re prone to psychosis maybe don’t do drugs #that’s mainly my takeaway #and also I feel like how saw traps are supposed to make you feel #like I’m so happy to be alive and not Stuck Like That lol #personal #drugs ment

[ghoulodont]

i dont know if its just some fucked up amounts of chemicals in my brain speaking to me right now because im sure they are fucked up if last night is evidence of anything but more and more recently ive realized that i do want to have friends. it feels pathetic to say it but being here is making me realize what im missing

#ive had very few friends in my life who didnt intentionally exclude me from things and i think i sort of gave up on the idea #i think in middle and high school there was some malice behind it but after thhat i think its my fault #in the years before my first psychotic episode i became very very introverted and i think since then ive consistently given people #the impression that i dont want to be interacted with and its not true #i really just have no social skills or awareness

[lone-pylon]

The Caged Man

#my art #digital art #clip studio paint #I drew this in response to a psychotic episode I had while high #surrealism #weirdcore

[proudfreakmetarusonniku]

if I had a nickel for every time c!tommy was demonised for showing blatant signs of psychosis and delusions of persecution i’d be the richest person alive. but people don’t even acknowledge that c!tommy has canonically had psychotic episodes (with delusions so frequent he genuinely couldn’t tell them from reality at times) except to say the actions of the people who hurt him must all be in his head. the ableism towards c!tommy in this fandom is sickening and it goes unnoticed because people reduce it down to his ptsd (which he has canonically had since at least the l’manberg war yet people push the date further back too) instead of including his psychotic episodes or severe self worth issues or severely disordered eating or addictive personality bc it gives them an excuse to pretend they’re in the right.

#like. c!tommy is way more disabled entirely canonically than people portray him as #and tbh that like near universal washing away of his more stigmatised mental illnesses by both his fans and detractors is a sign of fandom #ableism that's entirely swept under the rug #c!tommy has had psychotic episodes. they are not explicitly called that but he has shown literally all the symptoms. #yet people don’t talk about it and only use it to demonise him or lessen his abuse #c!tommy has severely disordered eating and extreme self image issues to the point he wants to be invisible literally not exist #yet people just pretend that consistent character trait doesn’t exist and write him as the exact opposite #it's incredibly uncomfortable and it doesn’t get any better bc he’s popular or whatever or bc other characters have it worse #its still ableism shut the fuck up #fandom critical

[emotionaldisaster909]

My toxic trait is thinking I don’t need therapy when I’ve had a few days of good mood in a year of constant mental breakdowns

#and then postponing seeking help in this fashion #until i get a borderline psychotic episode #because i had ran out of ideas of how to help myself #and my self-analysis turned into a self-distraction #so that I don’t need a therapist anymore but a psychiatrist #well #good timing #mental health #mental disorders #depression #anxiety #therapy #mental health awareness

[ink-asunder]

Progressives from big cities talk big shit about how accepting they are, but I feel like if you come to them with any identifier that isn't covered in corporate sensitivity training, they have no idea what to fucking do.

Like. I experience psychosis. I tried being OPEN with my friend about it and giving them resources (articles and screenshots of tumblr posts that i felt summed up my experience) for when I had episodes. But they act like they're on fucking eggshells around me. They sidestep and look PETRIFIED when they accidentally say the word "crazy" (when I personally could not give less of a shit. As long as you're not CALLING someone crazy, then it won't warp your perception of what clinical insanity even is, so I probably won't even notice you saying it). But then they freak out and go "okay we're leaving!" when a VISIBLY mentally ill man starts screaming at a trashcan in the parking lot.

Less important, but still an example of the same thing: I'm a horse alterhuman. I identify as a horse on some level (and that level varies based on my mental state, tbh). I tried coming to this friend with THAT and the best they could do was blink and go "oh. Okay." And then they never talked about it since. Even when I bring it up or try making jokes about it, they just COMPLETELY don't react or look uncomfortable.

If I came out as a lesbian, they'd be all "oh I love and support you and accept you, and whatever you identify as is valid," but the second I say "Hey, I have this condition that makes me sometimes think that people are trying to kill me, so if I act anxious or something, you know what's up," it's all "oh. Okay. I mean, you know what's best for you. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself."

Like bitch!! My mental illness is not gonna bite you!! You're perfectly sensitive and normal about queer people, about people of color, about people with palatable mainstream mental health issues. But the second I bring something to the table that hasn't already been dropped in their lap in a perfect-PC-package, they balk like a deer in the headlights.

#notable exclusions from this post: the phrase 'balks like a bunny in a cage match' and several schizospec slurs #keeping it professional for the main blog #🐗 #i found out that friend didnt even READ the psychosis related articles i sent them. after i had a psychotic meltdown at their house. #apart of me FEELS unfair writing about this because this same friend has actually been unquestioningly accommodating. #they not only remember all my dietary restrictions but they remember WHY the foods i cant have are bad for me. #when i had an episode and thought they hated me they agreed to videocall me with only them on video. #idk i just. i feel like this person could be so much better if they TRIED to approach my psychosis as well as they approch everything else #i KNOW this person could be great. but rn im too crazy to know if it's them or the socialization or cancel culture or what. im just tired #psychosis #chronic illness #chronic pain #disability #disabled #vent #long post #sry

[martyrbat]

okay yeah you're a hannibal fan and will graham is your precious little meow meow that you want to eat/study under a microscope but are you normal about real people with psychosis?

#i love my mutuals but i can never like their hannibal posts because god the posts tumblr recommends to me. #im allowed to post this draft i had for a few weeks. rent lowering posts and because the timing is really funny #(<- guy who literally just got out of an psychotic episode that fucked its shit up again after 2 years of mostly manageable symptoms) #ransom note

[antstarion]

cough. starting to realise i really dont care about my dissertation. scared

#i was supposed to submit a draft before monday but like uh its just not done #been sick and still sick but it needs to be done #usually the panic would have set in by now and i would be able to force myself to sit and do it but. i am just sat here #i wrote about 100 words and i need to write at least 600 more (and actually fix my fucking algorithm but we dont talk about that) #but alas i dont care. I will care tomorrow (sunday) OR AT LEAST I HOPE SJDLFHSDKFJSDK #i think the one of the shittiest symptoms of my various Brain things is the lack of motivation #Because there are so many things i want to do but i simply cant do them #i was getting 90%-100% in EVERYTHING at uni until half way through my second year when i had a psychotic episode #now i average about 60% #this isnt bad and i will get my degree #but its not really what i went to university to do #anyways maybe if i wrote as many sentences as tags on this post i might finish my disseration tonight