#got anxiety spikes i want to say out of NOWHERE but

[wildwood-faun]

been sooo stimmy lately unfortunately not in the happy fun way more like gotta shake bad things out of my body

#got anxiety spikes i want to say out of NOWHERE but #i've been doing things that push me out of my comfort zone lately #but if i don't i get anxious about not DOING stuff #my impulse is to just white knuckle it through until som of the uncomfortable things become familiar but ugh #also i think my anxiety/stress has been on the rise for more than a year because i've been having a lot more Stuck Thoughts #so that's longer than this recent Do New Things drive #but like. i don't live a stressful life i just get incredibly stressed out by things like: couldn't find the detergent i wanted at the store #or: have a problem with my clothes hanger #please brain please #anyway i'm feeling pretty solid abt the autism probability at least #life of kit

[whimsicalwritingsandmore]

Want You Back | ateez x reader

Pairing: werewolf!ot8!ateez x werewolf!reader

Genre: fluff mostly, romance, poly, a little angst?

Warnings for this chapter: none

Word Count: 2702 words

a/n: hello!! so I was able to edit a lot today. :') I'm hoping to have the next chapter up by Sunday! Let me know what you think about this chapter, I would love to hear your thoughts on this one! Happy reading! <3

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Chapter 4

You felt off all day.

It was something you couldn’t explain. Out of nowhere that morning, you woke up with a slight headache and a sudden uneasy feeling that refused to go away until late in the afternoon. It was Friday, and you decided to close early due to your bizarre state. You planned a night-in with some warm tea, hearty soup and a marathon of a new series you started. 

Currently, while finishing up cleaning the tables and organising the chairs, you paid no attention to anything and swayed mindlessly to the soft music in your headphones with the fresh scent of lavender filling the room which you were using to wipe the tables down. Your friends had already left for the evening and the skyline of Seoul provided a composed and serene atmosphere, one which you were very grateful for at this time. 

You pondered the cause for your sudden headache and a spike in anxiety. Werewolves rarely got sick, the main reason may be because of exhaustion, but as far as you could recall, you weren’t over-exerting or pushing yourself too hard. While the beginning of your journey was far from effortless, you paced yourself when it came to facing challenges. Because you knew if you overworked yourself, especially since you were still recovering at the time, Jisung wouldn’t hesitate to tell Chan and Minho. You could handle Chan but you were afraid of an angry Minho. 

As you continued to lose yourself in your thoughts and music, you didn't hear the bell of your cafe ring. However, you felt your emotions suddenly shift and there was a rapid electric rush through your body. Following it was a pull you knew all too well.

It couldn’t be?

You spun around and halted at the figure in front of you. He was still slightly dripping wet, his hair damp and his clothes stuck to him but his face glowed beautifully. His eyes sparkled and he panted with a slight smile beginning to form as he looked at you in awe and admiration. 

Song Mingi, your soulmate, and one of the loves of your life stood in front of you in the flesh. It had been six months since you last saw him and the last time you saw him was during the worst times of your life, one that took a lot of therapy to start unpacking. Luckily, Chan knew someone who helped you immensely in deconstructing all the walls you had built. 

You thought a lot about this moment, coming face to face with one of your soulmates and unravelling all the feelings and emotions that had been buried inside you for so long. There were times when you wracked your brain with so many different scenarios, playing out what you would say, how you would act and your responses when they responded. You hoped to prepare yourself for the imminent confrontation but truthfully, you were far from well-prepared.

As Mingi approached you cautiously, you were stumped. So many questions began to flood your mind. What are you supposed to do? Should you be aloof and standoffish? Should you start yelling? Should you run away, let Chan handle it and never look back? 

The main question you had was, did you harbour any hate towards Mingi? Hate was a very strong word and you couldn’t begin to fathom hating one of your mates. Yes, you were hurt, angry and disappointed in them but part of you didn’t want to throw in the towel just yet. If there was any possibility for reconciliation, you were willing to try, albeit you wouldn’t go easy on them.

Something you learnt in therapy was that relationships are a work in progress. It’ll never be perfect like you were told growing up and it didn’t necessarily have to be set in stone with you not having a choice about it. You did in fact have a choice, and while you still believed fate had a role in bringing people together, a real relationship requires showing up, learning from mistakes, taking accountability and trying again if both parties truly care for each other. If not, you knew you had to face the harsh reality of walking away even if it broke you.

You wanted to make it work with your soulmates, and Mingi was the one out of your eight mates who you were closest to after Hongjoong. He was the second one you had bonded with and spent a lot of time together before meeting everyone else. You would describe him as your tall alpha with a soft heart and sweet personality. He wore his heart on his sleeve, he’s a tenderheart and big softie who would seek you out to share his snacks with because he didn't like to eat alone. He struggled with his self-esteem because being the middle child had him being forgotten a lot. You were there along with the boys to give him comfort and show him his worth. Song Mingi is the tenderest, sweetest and softest person out of the entire pack. 

"Mingi..." you murmured.

"Y-Y/N..." his voice broke out in a raspy tone.

The moment he spoke snapped you out of your daze. You just wanted to hug him, embrace him and feel his warmth again. As your finger grazed his hand, he pulled you into a bone-crushing hug, stroking your hair and kissing the top of your head repeatedly. 

"It's you! It's really you!" He cried.

That’s all it took for you to break your facade and you broke down in his embrace, sniffles and sobs racking your body. Mingi just pulled you closer.

"Don't cry, don't cry angel. I know I have a lot to apologise for. I-I can't even b-begin to explain it. There are no e-excuses for my actions. I'll make it up to y-you. No matter what, I won't ever hurt you like that again."

You felt the sincerity in his words. You knew he was being sincerely honest. You weren't ready to forgive him - you both still had to have a proper conversation about everything. But for now, you wanted to have this moment with him, after so long you finally had your Mingi again. 

It took a while to peel Mingi off you because he kept refusing. He was taller than you and much stronger so it took a lot of convincing that you weren’t going to vanish into thin air once he let you go. He wouldn't even sit if you didn't. When you placed him in a chair and moved away to give him a blanket, some tea and maybe a change of clothes, he bolted upright and grabbed your hand, holding onto it for dear life. 

Your apartment was right above the café. You had a few oversized jerseys in your closet as you were currently experimenting with your style that could fit him but it seemed to be futile on retrieving anything.

Mingi refused to part with you so instead he followed you foot to foot behind the counter as you pulled out one of the blankets from under the counter that you had for safekeeping for the colder days. He stood close by as you made him some tea.

Suddenly, your phone went off signalling a message. Mingi was confused by the sound and intrigued by the device you pulled out of your pocket. As you quickly checked to see who it was, Mingi quickly snatched it from you to see what it was.

"Hey—Mingi!" 

Your shouts went unanswered as Mingi stared at the screen. He was confused by the interface. Who is Jisung? Somehow he exited out of that app and managed to click on Instagram. Your profile was the first page when he opened the app and his brows pinched in even more confusion.

"Is that you?" he asked

You tried to get your phone back so you could explain things to him but Mingi is taller than you.

He pressed on the picture with you and Chan. It was a harmless picture that was taken during Chan’s birthday party with the two of you posing with big smiles as you both leaned against the kitchen counter watching Seungmin and Hyunjin fight over something. Your caption was simple: Happy birthday to my best friend. However, Mingi’s instincts kicked in seeing the two of you standing in close proximity. He felt a low growl wanting to erupt from his throat, his protective senses coming in. But he noticed your smile. You hadn't smiled like that in a long time. It was only with them and the last time was probably when…he couldn’t remember the last time.

You were able to grab back your phone after accidentally stepping on his foot. 

“Ow!” he cried.

“Finally.” you sighed.

"Who is that?" You could hear the pain that was evident in his voice. Even if you did want to be cold towards him, you didn’t have the heart to. It was difficult to remain aloof.

"He's my friend," you answered, "His name is Chan and he was the one who found me in the lake and brought me back with him."

"The lake? You came through the lake?”

You nodded, “Yeah, I don’t know how, all I remember is jumping in and then everything went dark. Then next thing I knew I was here.”

“That's why we couldn't find you. You were in this realm all the time?"

You hummed and nodded.

"Yeah, I…I didn't want to come home…” you stuttered, “I-I couldn't..." you trailed off.

Truth be told, you weren’t 100% certain what to expect from Mingi. There was so much heaviness weighing on your shoulders and in the air, that you couldn’t read what was going through Mingi’s mind or predict his next move.

Was he going to snap at you, ridicule you or berate you?

Mingi felt your uncertainty as the spark of your bond started to drop and he brought you into an immediate hug. 

"I can't blame you,” he started, “We left you with a lot of broken promises, we didn't take care of you like we are supposed to. It hurts to hear that you didn’t want to come back to us but…you were also hurting a lot more than we were."

You didn’t realise the tears cascading down your face. For so long, you just wanted to be heard, understood and comforted. 

"Mingi, we have to talk about all that…”

“Let’s talk now then. At least cover some bases?”

You agreed and brought the tea to a table in the far corner away from the window. You sat opposite Mingi with great effort as he was still uneasy not being able to feel your touch, you saw the way he never took his eyes off you. 

You cleared your throat holding the teacup securely in your hand.

“First of all, I’m really, really, really, really sorry for not realising sooner the damage we were doing to you. I know an apology isn’t even enough. The fact that it had to take you being separated from us, for us to recognise the severity is inexcusable.” he began.

You listened intently, anxious at what he had to say.

“When I discovered how damaged our bond became, it felt like an entire collapse of my world. I don’t even know how to explain it, it was as if the one thing that kept me going was stripped away and I was operating on autopilot with no clear way ahead,” he paused, “My birthday wasn’t the same. It wasn’t a celebration, there was more grief than anything. I always told you how much you meant to me and you going missing showed me just how important you are to me Y/N. You’re my entire world and I can’t bear the thought of living without you. I hate it and I don’t want to live like that. I should have noticed my treatment towards you, I should have told the boys, I should have supported you and been there for you. I’m so sorry for failing you.”

“Mingi…”

“Hit me, yell at me, tell me as it is. Don’t hold back Y/N but please…don’t give up on me. Please give me a chance to make it up to you.” 

“I…I appreciate your honesty Mingi. You seem to be sincere. I thought I would never be understood. It felt like I was drowning in a sea of my feelings. Everyday I prayed one of you would wrap your arms around me and end the nightmare I was living in. All my life…I was taught how to be a perfect mate and to consider your mate as your whole world, but when your mate forgets you, your world falls apart and you’re left stranded in a dark void with no real direction to follow. When I was running from those rogues, it came to my mind that you all were on the other side of town with Lila…”

Mingi grimaced at that realisation. You were in danger and they were so far away from you. He held your hands that were still wrapped around the teacup, rubbing soothing circles to comfort and help you gather your thoughts.

“I always thought it was my fault,” you cried, “I wanted to call out for you through the bond but I couldn’t even focus. I felt like a failure, I thought I failed at being a Luna, and so many questions plagued my mind every day and night. What does Lila have that I don’t? Why am I always a second choice? Why does Mrs Kim hate me? What’s wrong with me?”

Your voice broke as you spoke. Mingi wanted to kick himself for doing this to you. He finally saw the way you had been broken. You questioned your self worth, they made you question your worthiness. You didn’t know how you were so important, you were a precious gem to him, you were priceless. 

“Nothing’s wrong you angel, if anything, something is clearly wrong with the rest of us because we’re plain idiots for making you think you’re unworthy. You deserved to be loved, adored and respected.” he answered.

“It hurts Mingi. All I ever wanted was to be someone's favourite person growing up. I wanted to be the one, you could come to for anything. I wanted to help in any way I could. I just wanted to be loved.”

“And you are loved, my love. I love you so deeply and truly, I really do. I will never let you feel that way again. As long as I live, you’d be showered unconditionally with love and respect.”

You closed your eyes and regulated your breathing to compose yourself. 

“I’m willing to work things out Mingi. But you should know, I’m not sure if I trust you right now. So many thoughts come in, what if it happens again? What if -”

“It won’t. It will never happen again, angel. I know that seems like an empty promise. But it isn't! I promise you, I will make you trust me again.” 

You looked at Mingi with some uncertainty. You never considered love would be like this, you always thought it would be easy. You didn’t know what was going to happen next but at least for now, this was a start.

“Tiny steps. Let’s take tiny steps then. I’ll introduce you to Chan tomorrow, he’ll help you get in contact with the others. Let them know you’re safe.”

Even after all the hurt they gave you, Mingi was in awe at the way you cared so deeply for them.

“Let’s head upstairs,” you said tiredly.

As you both made your way to the apartment, Mingi thought about everything. It pained him deeply to know the hurt they caused you. He made a silent promise to himself that he’ll be better for you. 

That night, he couldn’t sleep. You’re the best thing that ever happened to him and you deserve unconditional and unwavering love. In no way, shape or form were you ever a second choice. You could never be second - you were and will always be first. 

He’ll make things right again. He promised.

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Tag list: @eastleighsblog , @sehun096rainbow

#ateez x reader #ot8 ateez x reader #poly ateez x reader #poly!ateez #ateez series #ateez fluff #ateez fanfic

[moni-logues]

Deer Tracks

Pairing: Namjoon x f. reader (Suri); A Fine Line couple

Genre: slice of life? a little angst a little fluff? established relationship

Summary:

Beautiful, sobbing high-geared fucking and then to lie silently like deer tracks in the freshly-fallen snow beside the one you love. That's all. (Deer Tracks, by Richard Brautigan)

Word count: 3.2k

Content: implicit smut (piv), that's really it tbh

A/N: Anon, this is for yoooooouuuu! And for anyone else who loves the AFL couple like I do lol my first babies, my special little creatures haha. I have genuinely had this bonus chapter/drabble/whatever you want to call it in mind since I finished writing the series. I have thought of it SO often and, truthfully, never got to the end, never quite figured out in my head how I was going to pull it together. But I'm happy with what I did and I hope you are too!!! Also shout out to sunny for finding this poem for me when I couldn't months and months ago.

*~*

You lay in your bed, staring at the ceiling, legs swishing idly against the sheets, as if making snow angels out of them, but only the bottom half. And there was no snow. And you weren’t having fun. Sleep wouldn’t come. You had learnt that. It wouldn’t come until the smallest hours of the morning, when exhaustion finally gripped you and pulled you under. Then you would wake a few hours later, unrested, and do it all again. 

It was self-inflicted. You knew that, too. You knew that you were doing this to yourself. You were sleeping in your own bed. Namjoon slept next door. You didn’t have to wonder if he was asleep because you could faintly make out the sound of his snoring even through the wall.  

Things weren’t going well and you weren’t dealing with it. You were making it Namjoon’s problem, making yourself Namjoon’s problem. He knew it was happening. You knew it was happening. He didn’t have the power to stop you. You didn’t think you did, either. Even though you wanted to. You could feel all your worst instincts clawing at you, invisible hands crawling over the edge of the bed to pull you apart, pull your life apart. You wanted to resist them and you wanted them to devour you, both at the same time.  

You loved him. You were in love with him. That was the problem. That was the thing that kept you up at night. The anxiety of it screamed at you and, sometimes, you could block it out; sometimes, he would kiss you and you would melt into him and everything felt golden; other times, more often recently, he would kiss you and you’d feel sick. Sick because you wanted to escape. Sick because you wanted him to stop seeing you. Sick because you loved him. Sick because he made you happier than you thought you would ever be again. Sick because it all terrified you.  

So you pulled away. You pulled yourself back into your shell, set up spikes around it, were erratic and irrational about who got access to you and when.  

You were sleeping in your own bed.  

* 

Namjoon had, weeks ago now, planned a sweet winter getaway. Just a long weekend. There was astronomical stuff happening: a big moon, some meteors, something that he would tell you about as you sat, breath puffing in front of you, huddled together outside a cabin, looking at it all. He had said you wouldn’t be able to see it well in the city; he was going to book somewhere remote, where the sky would be dark and clear. You had wondered why it mattered so much but matter it did, to Namjoon, so you had agreed, looked forward to it.  

Until you had realised you loved him. Until he had come home one day, late and tired, and a choir had started singing in your heart. There had been nothing special about that day, not at all, but you had looked at him and he had smiled at you—crinkly-eyed and deep-dimpled—and something inside you had bloomed. It was love. It was horror. 

* 

You wanted him to cancel. To say, ok this is a bad idea, let’s not go and spend 72 hours in each other’s company with no escape and nowhere else to go. Because you wouldn’t say it but you didn’t want to go. You were fighting with yourself not to run, not to scarper, not to dig yourself a hole in the ground and live there instead. You could convince yourself you were coping while you had work to distract you with (and Namjoon had his work, too). But a weekend in the country? You wouldn’t be able to get away from it if you couldn’t get away from him.  

There was a slightly tentative knock at the door. 

“Yeah?” you called. 

Namjoon poked his head around.  

“I know we talked about heading up a little later but they’re forecasting snow so I think we should get an earlier train, is that ok?” 

No. 

“What time is that?” 

“Probably around 9.” 

“Ok.” 

He nodded, hesitated at the door for a second, then nodded again, leaving you to it. You felt sick again. Terrified. Half of you wanted to run out to him, to tell him to please never, ever let you go. Half of you wanted to run.  

* 

The train was slow because the forecast had been partially right: it was snowing, but it was snowing earlier and heavier than predicted. The journey from the train station to the cabin was even worse. Namjoon couldn’t drive; somehow, you had gone all this time not knowing that. You had also forgotten that he had mentioned something about renting a car when he first brought up this trip.  

You hadn’t driven for years. Hadn’t needed to. Wouldn’t have been able to afford a car anyway. You were anxious. You were already anxious and now you had to drive winding roads on forested hills while the snow fell thick like cotton balls.  

“I’m not fucking doing it,” you said, as you and Namjoon stood outside the car rental place.  

“We don’t have any other way of getting there.” 

“Taxi?” 

“They won’t go. I already asked.” 

“Well then how do we get there? I'm not fucking driving.” 

“Suri, plea-” 

“No! I said no! I hate driving. I can’t drive! I won’t!” 

“You said you have a licence.” 

“Yes, I have a licence but I haven’t needed it for years. You seriously expect me to drive in this? I’ll kill us both.” 

Namjoon pulled his beanie from his head with a sigh and then fixed it back in place.  

“I’m sorry. This was not how I planned it. I didn’t know the weather would be this bad, but can you please drive? We can take it slow—everyone else will be driving slowly, too. I promise it’ll be worth it when we get there.” 

You knew it was an argument you couldn’t win because, short of going straight back home, there were no other options. With the way the snow was falling, it was even possible that there wouldn’t be any trains running anyway. You offered him your best scowl and stomped inside to pick up the keys. You wanted to argue, but you wanted to get out of the cold. 

* 

The journey was almost painfully tense. Driving, as it turned out, was quite a lot like riding a bike and, even with the snow, you coped pretty well: drove carefully, took corners slowly, made it to the cabin in a little under an hour. But you held onto your anger like a security blanket. It was, in some ways, a relief to be able to cling to it, rather than being tossed about in the waves of your anxiety. Anger was safe. Anger kept people away. Kept Namjoon away.  

You were hoping for blessed relief from the cold. You were expecting to open the door and be hit with a wall of warmth, fire lit, heating on, a small side lamp illuminating just enough of the space that you could find your way to the light switch. 

It was dark. It was just as cold inside as it was out. You stood in the entry way and clenched your teeth together while Namjoon fumbled with the thermostat.  

“I’m hungry,” you announced when nothing more had happened a minute later. 

“Ok, yeah, we can eat in a sec. Let me just figure this out.” 

“What do we have to eat?” 

“I don’t know, babe; I think there’s something in that bag.” 

Namjoon gestured vaguely to the pile of bags next to you, which told you nothing. You inhaled, preparing to heave an aggrieved sigh when Namjoon straightened and looked at you. 

“I know, ok? I know. I’m sorry. This isn’t like I wanted it to be either.”  

Sentences short, clipped, like he was fighting his own frustration. He probably was. You were being a brat. You knew it. You were making yourself his problem. You were pushing buttons.  

Somehow, this time, it didn’t feel like victory. It felt like defeat.  

You let your sigh fall and stomped past him, flopping onto the sofa still in all your winter stuff. He turned back to the thermostat. 

* 

It remained tense and quiet for the rest of the evening and when you (fully clothed with a jumper and socks on) slipped into bed next to Namjoon (also fully clothed), you had deflated. You couldn’t sustain your anger that long, not when Namjoon didn’t fight back.  

“I’m sorry,” you said, chewing on the inside of your lip, eyes cast down.  

Namjoon leant over and pressed a kiss to your hair. 

“I’m sorry, too. This isn’t what I wanted.”  

You bit harder on your lip when you felt it wobble.  

“I just thought it would be nice to get away. The sky isn’t even fucking clear because of the snow. I should’ve planned this be-” 

“No,” you said, interrupting. “I’m just being pissy.” 

“Yeah...” He paused. “About that-” 

“I’m sorry.”  

You didn’t want him to ask, didn’t want to talk about it. Didn’t want to have to admit it, finally, that you loved him. Certainly not after that day.  

“I...”  

You hesitated because you could feel your heart thumping and that prickling sensation on your skin that said you were stripping yourself bare. “It’s just me. It’s not you. I... I’m not trying to be a dick. Well, I guess, I-... I’m sorry.”  

You risked a glance at him. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. He pressed another kiss into your hair. You closed your eyes and felt your limbs loosen, something inside of you unlocking, allowing you to relax into the warmth of his body.  

“It’s ok,” he whispered. “As long as you’re here.” 

You nodded.  

“I’m here.” 

You raised your face as he went to kiss your head again and he caught your eyebrow. You didn’t give him the opportunity to laugh or say anything; you put your lips against his, turned your body towards him, and hoped you could say without saying the thing that burnt inside you. 

* 

It somehow felt like it had been a long time. That the nights that had passed since the last time he was between your thighs had stretched into weeks, elongated themselves in your memory and your body, so that every touch, every movement felt like remembering. Felt like something almost lost but found again. Felt, as it always did, like something coming together within you. Never more in your body than when he was, too. It grounded you. It brought you closer to yourself, closer to him, as though they were one and the same.  

“F-uck!” you cried, gasping and panting as you tried to hold on, wanting this to last.  

You were so close to it, to letting all that pleasure wash over you, drown you, take you under, but you didn’t want to go. Didn’t want to let this pass. You wanted to stay in this moment, this perfect moment, where it was just you and him and everything you did best.  

If it passed, you would have to confront it again: the fear, the terror that your love placed inside you.  

“Shit,” you swore again, but it wasn’t pleasure this time. It was frustration because you’d thought about it. Because now you were thinking about it.  

You shut your eyes. You couldn’t look at him without that painful heart swelling, that effulgent warmth that enveloped you, followed by the ice-cold trickle of anxiety. You loved him. You loved him. You loved him.  

Did he love you? Could he? Could anyone?  

Your breath hitched and you tightened your fingers around Namjoon’s arm, nails digging into his soft flesh. You could feel it welling, this feeling, these tears, brimming in your eyes, sticking to your lashes. 

The moment the first fell was the moment it all came loose. You came, cursing and crying, your body writhing, Namjoon firm and solid and stable around you. You came, hot and harried, clutching him to you like a buoy, as he held you secure and safe as he always had. You came unfastened, unbuckled, apart at the seams, flopping into him, just crying now, just crying.  

“Baby...”  

His voice was as soft as his body was not.  

“Are you ok?” 

You nodded, desperate for him to believe you as you continued to sob. He placed a hand on your head, stroking gently, the other rubbing small circles into your back.  

“It’s ok,” he whispered. “You’re ok.” 

And you loved him more because that was all he said. He didn’t push you for answers, didn’t make you reassure him. He held you and soothed you and let you be sweaty and naked and messy in his arms.  

You were shivering with the cold before the tears on your cheeks had dried. You both wordlessly re-dressed and snuggled under the bedsheets, still clinging to each other. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.  

You knew he already knew the answer. No.  

“I’m fine,” you answered, muffled against his hoodie.  

“Can we talk about it tomorrow?”  

You nodded, because it was easier to just say yes now, to push the issue into the future. You could avoid it then, too.  

* 

Sleep didn’t come. You knew it wouldn’t, even though the cold made you tired, even though you could still feel Namjoon in every one of your muscles. You looked at Namjoon, at his face, peaceful as he slept. Not snoring, not right now. Tipped on his side, broad shoulders curled inwards. You thought about what he might see if your places were reversed. Did you look cute as you slept? Could he have lain and felt like he could look at you forever? Did it make his blood feel sweet inside him, having you close to him?  

It felt impossible. Too easy. Everyone had said it was. Namjoon had said it was. Some of it had been easy, you thought. Maybe. The parts where it was you and him and no one else. The parts when you forgot to be self-conscious, forgot to supervise yourself so strictly. The parts when you just let yourself have it—happiness—even if you didn’t think you deserved it. 

You looked towards the window, where that curious glow of snow was sneaking around the edges of the curtains. It was still dark outside, but snow had a light of its own somehow, a peculiar way of shining by itself.  

You slipped carefully out of bed, wrapping your arms around yourself, and went to look. You pulled the curtain back and it was still snowing. Fat flakes fluttering slowly to the ground which was perfectly smooth and white. Unblemished. Untarnished. A blank slate. 

You looked at the dark lump of Namjoon’s body under the covers. You were a blank slate. You had said that. Namjoon brought colour onto it. You had said that. You looked out at this perfect snowfall, the silent padding as it placed itself gently on the ground. A blank slate. Beautiful. No one had disturbed it. Not even a creature.  

You had thought of your blank slate as empty. Blank because it held nothing. Blank with a freedom that scared you because you had been worn down and made to fear it. Your blankness made you hollow and worthless.  

But this snow wasn’t. It was full. It was generous. It was giving itself to the earth. You had chosen. You had made your choice and it was Namjoon. Was always going to be Namjoon from the moment you had met him. And you had stopped fighting that.  

You thought you had stopped fighting it but you had only paused. You stopped fighting it until you started again, until love blossomed in your heart just as everything on the surface started to bury itself underground. The richness and fullness of your own spring felt wrong, at odds with the earth and at odds with what you knew. What you had come to expect. What you had come to believe was all you would ever have.  

You looked at the snow. You looked at Namjoon. You practised. 

“I love you,” you said, barely more than mouthing the words but they still felt loud in the blanketed silence of the room. “I love you.”  

You looked at the snow. Still perfect. Fewer flakes coming down now, the sky no longer heavy with clouds. You had been so intent on the snow that you hadn’t noticed the moon: bigger and brighter than you’d seen it before. This was what Namjoon had wanted to see.  

“Hey,” you said, gently shoving against his shoulder.  

He groaned, rolling onto his back and rubbing his eyes. 

“What’s up?” 

“Come.” 

You tugged on his hand, pulled him out of bed. 

“Look,” you urged, pointing at the moon.  

Namjoon’s response was hummed as he adjusted to being awake. He shivered and pulled you into his body, back to his chest, arms around your waist.  

“The moon,” he said eventually. 

“Yeah, the super one.” 

“Frosty.” 

“Huh?” 

“Uh, it’s called the Frosty moon, I think. If I were awake, I’d remember.” 

You smiled and placed your hands over his, leaning your head back against him. 

“I love you.” 

Namjoon laughed and you froze, rigid as he let you go, as he turned you around. His hands moved to your face and he kissed you, warm and soft, a smile still tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

“I love you,” he replied, kissing you once more before he laughed again. “I fucking love you.” 

“You do?” Your voice was whisper thin, air caught in your throat. 

“Yes, I do! I love you!” 

The bubble of worry in your chest popped and it all disappeared, all that fear, all that doubt. He loved you. He fucking loved you.  

“I love you,” you repeated, looking at him this time.  

Even in the early-morning darkness, you could see his eyes sparkle, see the dimples in his cheeks. He mouthed the words back at you, picked you up and carried you back over to the bed. He wrapped himself tightly around you, lips against the back of your neck, your shoulder, your jaw.  

“I didn’t want to rush you,” he said. “I didn’t want to put any pressure on you, so I wanted you to say it first but, fuck-” he laughed again- “fuck, I’ve wanted to tell you so badly.” 

“You have?” 

“Yes, baby. I love you. I really fucking love you.”  

“I love you.” 

You stared through the darkness at your hands, clasped together just in front of you. The words felt fuller than you ever thought they could. You had thought they would feel like something being taken from you, like they would open up a hole inside you and leave you bereft but they didn’t. Each time you said it, you felt filled up. With every repetition of the words, you felt more whole. Coming together. Being brought together inside yourself, all your little broken pieces.  

You loved him. He loved you.  

You fell asleep quickly and slept soundly until late morning. 

#namjoon x reader #namjoon smut #bts x reader #namjoon fanfic #bts fanfic #rm x reader #rm fanfic #bts fic #bts smut #namjoon #kim namjoon #namjoon fluff #bts fluff

[babyjakes]

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

event | 5k headcanon party

requested by anon | i have an idea for a comfort fic with daddy Andy and little reader. maybe reader only gets little when she’s stressed out or doesn’t feel good. one day Andy’s working in the home office but reader knocks on the door and is crying, how does he comfort her? thanks!

warnings | sfw regression (daddy!andy and little!reader), reader calls andy “papa” 🥹 (ive been wanting to use this for soooo long hehe), reader is feeling anxious, soft soft sweet daddy andy!!!! 🫶

word count | 257

ohhhh my goodness andy would be so so so sweet and comforting for his little buggy 🥺 as soon as he sees you through the glass doors of the study, he’s closing his laptop with a concerned look on his face. “honey— hey,” he murmurs worriedly as you enter, clutching your stuffed bunny to your chest with tears in your eyes.

he scoops you right on up into his lap, rubbing your back as you try to wipe away the tears escaping down your cheeks. “my sweet baby girl. what’s going on, hmm? can you tell daddy what’s the matter?”

you clutch your little bunny in your hands, bottom lip wobbling as you try to find your words. “tummy feels scared, papa. c-can we snuggle, please?”

his face is so soft 😤 so tENDER 😤😤as he brushes back your hair, nodding immediately. “of course, sweetheart. you wanna bring your baby bunny and we can go cuddle on the couch?”

you nod, sniffling. “yes please, papa.”

“okay, little one. papa’s got you. c’mon,” he lifts you up, letting you tuck your head into the crook of his neck. he knows how sometimes your anxiety just spikes out of nowhere, and he always wants to hold you and comfort you ‘til you’re able to calm down. “shhh, sweet girl,” he says, continuing to rub your back as he carries you out of the study. “let’s go snuggle, honey. gonna get you feelin’ all better; don’t you worry.”

pppllleaaaseee i loooove soft andy this just means everything to me 😔🫶

#eun's writing #5k headcanon party #andy barber #andy barber fanfiction #andy barber blurb #andy barber drabble #andy barber headcanon #andy barber fluff #hurt/comfort #andy barber x reader #andy barber x y/n #andy barber x little!reader #daddy!andy barber #defending jacob #defending jacob fanfiction #chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fluff

[mrsgreenworld]

Okay, so I've been obsessing over Aslaz for weeks and there isn't nearly enough fanfiction in English for them. But I learned my lesson a while ago: you wanna some fanfiction you gotta start writing it yourself 🙈😂

Here goes my first attempt at writing Aslaz.

That episode 28 final scene was so all over the place and out of nowhere. But we got what we got. There was a millisecond of adorable Aslaz but it wasn't nearly enough so I decided to sprinkle in a missing Aslaz scene that takes place after the iftar.

I don't own the show or any of the characters. They belong to the Yabani writers and the production company. This is only fanfiction.

Cross-posted on Archive of Our Own.

_____________________________________________

You Never Know Unless You Try

They finish their meal and Asi leaves his side to go help clean up. He feels her absence immediately. But also knows it's not normal to crave her presence this much at all times. So Alaz wanders off to find his brother. They talk and hug and then work together as a well-oiled machine, loading the tables and chairs into a truck. They spend time with street kids, feeding them. Later they all sit around crackling fire and sing together.

Alaz gives himself a mental high five for having been a perfectly functioning independent human being and thinks he's had enough space and given enough of it to Asi. So his eyes scan everyone gathered around the fire but don't see her. His anxiety spikes but is soothed immediately by the sight of her, standing alone at the water, staring into the distance. Alaz goes to her, leaving the crowd.

He approaches quietly and comes to stand behind her with only a few inches between his front and her back. He doesn't touch her until he feels her relax and lean back into him. Only then Alaz snakes an arm around Asi's middle, his palm coming to rest over the place where he knows her stab wound - the one that matches his own - is hidden under the layers of clothing. Alaz presses a tender kiss to Asi's temple and whispers:

"Hey! What are you doing out here all alone? Are you okay?"

Asi's hand comes over the one Alaz has on her abdomen and squeezes his fingers gently.

"Yeah, just ... Needed to breathe a little, you know. And to think".

Alaz nods, leans his head into hers and asks quietly:

"Think about what?"

"Everything. What happened. Life. Future. Us".

"What about us?" Alaz asks with a hint of vulnerability in his voice, hugging Asi a little tighter but mindful of her healing wound.

"It's just ... How's it going to be? Us?"

"What do you mean? We love each other, don't we?"

"We do. But what now? We've never been ... Well, this. We've never been normal. Just ... loud. Screaming, hitting, biting and stabbing each other with words and not only words. What are we going to do now when it's quiet, Alaz? How are we going to do this?"

"Look, I don't know how but we'll figure this out, together. This is new for me too. I've never done this before. So we just learn to walk, step by step, before we can run".

"Run where? I've never even thought about the future, Alaz. Never thought I had one".

"Well, now you have a future. We do. We can be and do whatever the hell we want".

"I haven't even finished school, Alaz. What could I possibly do?"

"Well, you can finish school, for starters. If you want to. And I know that you're a woman of many talents. You sing, you dance, you fight, you're good with a knife. Bet you could make a mean chef" Alaz says with a smile, nuzzling Asi's neck.

She lets out a small laugh and pushes at him slightly, trying to get away from a tickling sensation of his barely there scruff on her tender skin.

"I'm serious!"

"So am I!"

"You're an idiot!"

"Okay, I am. Your idiot".

Asi turns to face Alaz and looks deep into his eyes.

"Alaz ... What if we try and this doesn't work?"

"We'll never know unless we actually try. And maybe it'll work out even better than we could ever imagine. I'm ready to try. Are you?"

He waits for her response with bated breath, willing to accept anything she chooses, even though his very being is screaming at him to screw this acceptance and respecting her wishes and just make her stay with him forever. Lost in this inner turmoil, Alaz almost misses Asi's softly spoken words:

"I am ready ".

#yabani #yabani dizi #yabani fanfiction #yabani fanfic #aslaz #aslaz fanfiction #aslaz fanfic #alaz soysalan #alaz oğlan #asi kız

[totesnothere04]

Day to Day Norm: Deleted Scene

300 Follower Special, this is completely in Norm's perspective. I hope you guys enjoy! 😁

Norm Spellman x F!Quaritch!Reader

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the fanart, screenshots, or gifs.

Warnings: Major angst (to me atleast). It's nowhere near as long as an actual chapter since it's a deleted scene, but I've added a little more detail than what was in it when it was in the actual story. Also, I'm terrible at writing angst so I'm sorry if it's not as sad as you'd like for it to be.

I also wanted to take a second and acknowledge my prolonged leave of absence. I had a severe anxiety attack that had me in physical pain for nearly a week after it. I haven't had the motivation to write because I'm afraid of spiking my anxiety again, but I'm trying my best to get back into writing longer stories again.

Avatar Masterlist

Norm's POV

I was standing right outside of the mobile unit with Jake in my human body since my avatar had been shot in the shoulder. It was a good thing that I stayed here instead of running off because Simmens was able to find his way here. I had been able to keep him back until Jake came crashing down through the trees and killed him. But now... Now we had won and all that's left for us to do is get the rest of the human population to leave Pandora. I'd beable to continue my research and settle down with (Y/n), and maybe even have a couple of kids. I heaved a sigh of relief that it was all over and I sat down on the stairs.

Jake took a few steps away as he started talking to someone, probably Neytiri or (Y/n) since Tsu'tey is gone. Jake's face remained stoic for a moment, then shock, a quick flash of sadness as his eyes cut over to me, and finally his hand fell from his neck. He stood still for a moment before he took a deep breath and his head hung for a moment. He finally lifted his head as he turned to me and I looked at him confused.

"What's wrong, Jake?" I ask him as I try to read his expression. "Oh God... Is Neytiri okay?"

"Neytiri is alright. Colonel Quaritch is dead, he died protecting Neytiri." Jake said and finally looked me in the eye. "Norm... (Y/n)'s gone." Jake finally said quietly, and it felt like all the air had been knocked from my lungs. I'm sure that if I had been standing my legs would've given out from under me. Everything dulled out and a high-pitched ringing took over my hearing.

"You're..." I take a deep breath. "You're sure that she's gone?" I ask him quietly.

"I'm so sorry Norm. Neytiri is bringing her body to the Tree of Souls." Jake says. His ears are drooped and his eyes are filled with tears. "As her mate it's your job to... Prepare her for burial. I'll help since she claimed me as a brother."

After Jake ensured that my avatar had been treated for the gunshot wound in my shoulder, I linked with my avatar. The moment my consciousness was in my avatar I could feel it. The pain my avatar was feeling from losing (Y/n). I took a deep breath and got up from the mat I was lying on and walked in a sort of haze. Walking to the area Jake said (Y/n)'s body is in. The moment I got to the tent her body is in I hesitated to open the flap. A hand on my back startled me and I turned my head to find Jake.

"I'm with you the entire way." Jake says and gives me a small sad smile, and I take a deep breath as I open the flap. The shape her body was in was... grotesque. Bullet wounds riddle her torso and her blood is smeared from where large hands had picked her up. I drop to my knees beside her and reach out to her with shaky hands. A sob tears itself from my throat as my hands make contact with her cold skin. The tears are free flowing and the sobs are loud and painful. Tearing at my vocal cords like a thanator as my throat constricts, and my eyes burn with how many tears are escaping my eyes. So many different types of pain coursing through my body right now that I can't think clearly. The pain in my throat from the sobs, the pain in my eyes from the tears, the pain in my shoulder from where I was shot, but none of them compared to the pain in my tswin. The feeling of the severed connection is the worst pain I've ever felt. Both physically and mentally.

"I don't-" I started to try and speak but I couldn't. My throat was just too constricted for words to form.

"I know. I'm so sorry Norm." Jake says and sets two bowls of water down on either side of (Y/n)'s body and a rag in each bowl. A large bowl of water sat next to her head and for a moment all I'm able to do is stare at her. I picked up her arm and held her hand with both of mine... My beautiful mate. Jake goes to remove her top and I stop him.

"What are you doing?" I ask still feeling protective of her privacy.

"I'm removing her top so we can clean her." Jake says confused and I shake my head.

"Right... Sorry." I say and decide that I would be the one to remove her blood-soaked clothes. I look at her face and remember the first day I saw her in her avatar. Smirking next to Grace as I chased Jake through the avatar yard trying to get him to go back inside.

"If you need a moment you can take it. I can clean her if you need a breather." Jake says and I take a deep breath. Jake takes a moment to observe me and he sighs. "Norm... It's not healthy to try and bottle up your emotions."

His words broke a dam and everything I had been trying to hide came crashing. My chest tightened and I let everything pour out of me. The anger, the sadness, everything. Tears coated my cheeks, sobs tore through my vocal chords, and I held (Y/n)'s hand, desperately wishing for her to come back. Jake seemed surprised by my outburst but he quickly jumped over (Y/n)'s body and held me. To me, it felt like everything was falling apart around me. The world as I knew it was crumbling and I couldn't stop it. My lungs burned, my ears were ringing, my eyes ached, my throat is searing with pain as I think of all the good times with (Y/n), and how we won't beable to make anymore of those memories. All I had now was good memories and nobody to share them with...

But there's also Miles. He's only a baby and wouldn't remember either his sister or his father, but I could try my best to make him feel loved and appreciated. The way his sister would've tried to make him feel. I can't duplicate her loving personality, but I can try my best to treat him the way that she would have. My best chance to make her happy, and still have a connection to her.

'I have to make her proud.' I think to myself as I look at her face and I bring her hand to my lips and plant one last kiss on her knuckles. I let myself ride out this wave of pain, knowing that soon I would step out of it and dedicate myself to more than just my research.

Miles needs me, and I need him. I might not be his father, but I'll be the best big brother figure he could ask for. For both of our sakes.

Taglist: @nisaoneil810, @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed, @ducks118, @avatarlover67, @kenzi-woycehoski, @isimpforfictionalppl, @belos-simp69, @vivangothic, @dyingofcookies, @levilovely1, @perseny, @criticalroleobssedperson.

If your URL is in red I was unable to tag you.

#avatar #norm spellman #norm spellman x reader #avatar 2009

[rere-the-writer]

Hi! I just wanted to say, I love love love your stories. Like another one of your followers had said, I had found your page and I'm obsessed. Just like them I'm sneaking off to go read your stories or anything that you share.

I was wondering if you could pretty please keep writing poly stories about the Mikaelson's. I would love to see some smut of all of the characters with their little lover. I really loved how in one of the stories Damon and Elena had helped her to marry her lovers. Perhaps if she was their friend who had recently found out she was a werewolf or something?

Anyways, I just wanted to say I love your work, truly works of art and please keep sharing!

Oh thank you and of course I will, time for fluffy angst

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Protective Damon, Reader being a soft bean, Elena playing cupid

A/N: I will do a part two for the smut as I got carried away with the plot

You sat shaking as you called Damon staring at the very very dead hybrid that you had killed and you were freaking out. Tears fell down your face scared as Stefan had gone off the deep end and Klaus was running around, you knew this was bad and it also didn't help you recently learned you were a wolf.

"Hey hey calm down it's just me." Damon said seeing you jump when he touched your bare shoulder, Damon quickly took off his jacket placing over you.

"I....I...I turned....and he came out of...nowhere. Damon I'm sorry....I."

"Hey hey, shhh it is okay. Take deep breaths." Damon tells you hearing how panicked you were as he kneeled down taking your hands rubbing them. Normally everyone thought Damon was an ass but with you, he was the softest thing out there, always watching out for you, like an older brother you never had.

"You okay?"

"I'm...scared Damon."

"Hey listen, I'll take the fall for this okay? Klaus won't know." Damon says standing up lifting you taking you back to the Salvatore home. Of course when Klaus learned his hybrid was killed, he was angry even more when Damon took the credit for it.

"Brother, I don't think it was Damon who killed your hybrid."

"What are you talking about 'Lijah?" Klaus said glaring as Elijah stood up from the body looking at Klaus.

"Niklaus, this is signs of a wolf. Freshly turned by the looks of it." Elijah says as Klaus looked at the body seeing how torn it was. To Klaus it seemed to him that whoever this wolf was, they were young and had killed the hybrid out of act of survival.

"This young wolf needs someone to teach them." Klaus says as Elijah noted how soft Klaus sounded before agreeing.

You were working at a small café when you frozed seeing Elijah and Klaus take a seat at a table and you felt your anxiety spike. You shook walking over forcing a smile as Elijah and Klaus looked you over finding you cute knowing you were the wolf they were looking for.

"What can I get you?"

"A black coffee and tea." Elijah says noticing your shaking hands and racing heart as you weren't like the other wolves he ran into.

"Alright, I'll go get that for you." You say quickly heading to put the order in as Elijah and Klaus looked at one another surprised with how docile you were. After your shift you hurried out as Elijah and Klaus followed after you, scaring you even more when Damon appeared hiding you behind him.

"Back off, the wolf is off limits." Damon said glaring feeling you shaking on the verge of an anxiety attack. Since you had killed the hybrid you had been on edge and scared of Klaus learning what you did and wanting to kill you.

"Damon, we know she was the one that killed the hybrid." Elijah said as you gripped Damon's jacket tightly. Damon growled eyes narrowing and you felt tears prick at the corner of your eyes.

"If you think I'll let you harm her."

"The little wolf has nothing to worry about. She needs an Alpha to look after her."

"Yeah. No. Y/N isn't going anywhere near you." Damon growled as Elijah stepped forward seeing how protective the young vampire was of you

"Damon, we mean no harm."

"Yeah right. I am not letting you guys near her." Damon said picking you up getting you away from the two Originals. You were shaking by the time Damon got you back to the Salvatore home and the vampire spent time calming you.

"Damon...please don't let them take me."

"Never sweetheart. I'll protect you." Damon tells you kissing your forehead rubbing your back holding you close as you relaxed against him.

The next few days you had not just Elijah and Klaus following you around but Rebekah and Kol too which made you nervous. Of course Damon noticed and grew very protective of you as he didn't trust the Mikaelsons and it didn't help Elena pointed out how they seemed to really like you but Damon was having none of that.

"They invited me to their ball Dam." You tell Damon as he had came over as Elena pulled out the dress from the box. It was gorgeous, a champagne colored dress that was backless sheer off the shoulders sleeves a long flowing skirt.

"You should go. I mean they seem to really take a liking to you."

"No Elena. Stop trying to push her to date them."

"Damon, they have not once try to harm her." Elena said crossing her arms looking at Damon as you swallowed.

"That may be true but what if she doesn't want to." Damon said narrowing his eyes at Elena as you gripped his arm.

"I want to go to be polite but cane you come with me?" You asked as Damon soften nodding at you.

Elijah felt his breathing hitched when he saw you walking in with Damon and the others noticed you too and found you just gorgeous. Rebekah was the one to pick out the dress and the men were glad.

"Great she brought that Salvatore." Kol said sounding annoyed as the other Originals were just as annoyed. There was something about you that was pulling the Originals towards you.

"Damon is protective of the little wolf."

"Is he now?" Rebekah questioned watching you cling to Damon as you never did well in crowds since becoming a wolf. Of course Elena had came with Stefan as the human thought Damon was being too protective of you.

"This a surprise Elena."

"Well Elijah, I just came to make sure that Damon doesn't ruin Y/N's night." Elena says smiling at Elijah who raised an eyebrow before nodding.

"How are you feeling?"

"Nervous, they keep staring at me." You tell Damon making the vampire frowned rubbing your back. Even though you were scared of the Mikaelsons, you were a little attracted to them.

"Don't worry, I'm here."

"May I ask for a dance?" Both you and Damon jumped looking to see Elijah standing there smiling gently with his hand out to you. Damon was about to answer for you but you nodded taking Elijah's hand letting Damon know you would be alright.

"I must say you look exquisite tonight."

"Thank you." You whispered flushing as Elijah pulled you closer while Damon watched his eyes narrowed at Elijah. The affection the Mikaelsons gave you didn't get pass Damon as he was trying hard to protect you while Elena was letting it slip what your favorite things were to the siblings.

"So what is a beautiful, sweet wolf like yourself doing around Damon?"

"He saved me." You answered Elijah as he raised an eyebrow curious about your relationship with Damon.

"Saved you? From what?"

"I don't like talking about it." You say softly trying to shy away but Elijah held you gently.

"Then let's talk about something else like how I desperately want to kiss you." Elijah says as this time you flushed as your heart raced. And for the rest of the night the Mikaelsons flirted with you all while Damon glared and Stefan eased his worry.

"Do you like them back?" Damon asked as you both layed in his bed with you dressed in his shirt cuddling close to Damon. You layed there thinking over his words feeling him tighten his arms around you.

"I think so....there is this pull but it scares me Damon."

"Then I'll help you though it." Damon says well aware that Elena had the Originals down stairs and they heard him. You smiled softly thanking him falling asleep as Damon layed watching you knowing that Elena will keep playing cupid.

#rere's stories #elijah mikaelson imagine #klaus mikaelson imagine #kol mikaelson imagine #rebekah mikaelson imagine #mikaelson family x reader

[edosianorchids901]

Flash Flood

@flashfictionfridayofficial prompt - "the sand ocean"

“You promised me sand,” Crowley complained. “’Oh, Crowley, come with me to Arizona. Help me with my blessings. There’ll be sand.”

Beside him, sitting on the roof, Aziraphale sighed. “I did.”

“Loads of sand. Enough sand that I could shift into serpent form and dive in and out of it all damn day. A whole ocean of sand.” Accusing, Crowley pointed down. “This isn’t an ocean of sand. This is an ocean of ocean.”

“It’s not an ocean of ocean,” Aziraphale snapped, crossing his arms. The wet fabric of his shirt squelched. “Arizona is nowhere near the ocean. This is a flash flood.”

“Yeah, I kinda guessed it was a flash flood. Right around the time it flashed down the wash and nearly drowned us.” With an irritated hiss, Crowley dragged a hand through his hair. That was wet too, and he’d lost his cool new cowboy hat when the horses took off.

They’d barely managed to scramble up on top of this building. Actually got pushed right into it by the floodwaters, which Aziraphale had declared a miracle. Crowley declared it damn good luck.

“I suppose my blessings are going to be rather late,” Aziraphale said, sighing. “I was supposed to finish them by tonight, latest, but I don’t want to risk miracling back to Phoenix. I have no idea how these floods work. What if the entire territory is underwater?”

“Probably is.” Crowley leaned over the edge of the roof, looking down into the rushing waters. “S’ like the Flood, right? Did these guys piss off God?”

“I-I don’t think it’s like the Flood, no.” Aziraphale’s plump fingers dug into the back of Crowley’s shirt, as if afraid he’d fall. “I hear this region has something called ‘monsoons’.”

Thunder boomed overhead, and Crowley startled. He nearly slipped, but the firm grip on the back of his shirt kept him steady. “Terrific. Is this something you heard before or after you conned me into coming here?”

“I didn’t ‘con’ you!” Aziraphale tugged on his shirt until he reluctantly moved away from the edge. “You awful old serpent. At any rate, I heard after we got here.”

“Also noticed a distinct lack of sand even before the ocean of flash flood.” Rain drummed down again, thoroughly drenching them, and Crowley shielded his sunglasses with one hand. It did not help. “This desert has a lot of plants. And dirt.”

“Well, there was sand in the wash.” Aziraphale sighed heavily. He hadn’t let go of Crowley’s shirt even now. “I suppose this wasn’t quite the holiday I’d hoped for.”

“Not exactly, no.” And it had been roasting hot the whole time, up until it started raining. And there were a lot of mosquitos. “You also promised me cold drinks, and I’m noticing a distinct lack of those on this fucking roof— What the fuck is that?”

Something long and green and cylindrical went tumbling past them down the river. Aziraphale’s eyes widened. “I-I believe that was a saguaro cactus.”

“Gosh.” Crowley twisted around, studying the floodwaters. There were loads of plants—cacti, trees, those little shrubby bushes. “M’ gonna say we should avoid this area in summer.”

“Well, I would have, but I had those pesky assignments and—”

Lighting split the sky apart, arcing wildly all over the place. Crowley yelped and dragged Aziraphale closer, wrapping him in his wings. Had to keep him safe. He couldn’t let anything happen to Aziraphale.

“Oh!” Aziraphale said, voice muffled in Crowley’s chest. “Um. My dear.”

“Shut it.” With a shaky exhale, Crowley hugged him closer. His whole body trembled, the anxiety spiking towards something like panic. “Oh Satan, we’re gonna die out here.”

Aziraphale’s arms wrapped around him, steadying. “We more certainly are not! At the very worst, we’d be discorporated.”

“Not helping, angel.”

But actually, he was. The lightning still crashed, and the storm raged on. It was bloody terrifying, honestly as scary as the Flood. Hugging, though…

Well, hugging made it a lot easier to bear.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #probably gonna expand this one later #but I am currently self-medicating pain with scotch #and everything is ow

[mellaithwen]

thank you for tagging me @princessfbi @renecdote @thekristen999 and @nymika-arts you beautiful wonderful talented beans <33

Rules: Pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the midpoint, pick a line (or a few), and share it! Then tag 10 people

.

I'm not you, nor you me (but we're both moving steady)

“I’m surprised you’re not keeping Eddie company right now, not that I’m not grateful for the visit,” Bobby jokes lightly, but the fond look becomes troubled, and Bobby starts to wonder what he’s missed. 

“Ana’s with him, I didn’t want to…crowd him.”

Ah, Bobby thinks. There’s the rub.

Gently whispered hope

A peaceful feeling seems to wash over him, as he leans back against the sofa, settling into the role he’s been assigned, careful not to jostle Jee-Yun in his arms. Jee-Yun Buckley-Han. It has a nice ring to it, a beat, a rhythm, almost like a calming melody in his head; dum-dum-dumdum-dum.

Covered in hope, and filling with doubt

Buck 17:12 Did you know there’s a shark called a tasselled wobbegong?

You're calling me home like a ship that got wrecked

“Let me do this,” he begs, clutching at Eddie’s palm in his, before letting go to reach out and gently tilt Eddie’s chin upwards. Even though there’s a part of Buck that’s worried he might have overstepped, he pushes the thought down deep as he moves to cradle Eddie’s jaw in his hand, his thumb tenderly rubbing at the tear tracks that are still visible on the other man’s cheeks.

Send me a postcard (when you get to where you're going)

The light from outside that shines through the tall glass windows of the apartment complex is almost blinding, and Buck can’t quite make out the man’s face, but he can just about see the outline of his white bushy beard shining in the sunlight. 

Coloring outside the lines

“Wait, is that Hen?!” Chim interrupts with glee, as he points to the person in the rig with slightly lopsided glasses, before reaching for his cellphone, presumably to take a picture. “Which means Bobby’s up-front and these two cozy-fellas are—”

“Listen —” Buck protests as he tries not to choke on Chim’s description, “crayons aren’t exactly my strongest medium—” 

Bound to each other's hearts

"You could have been killed," Buck says, blinking past the burning in his eyes that has nothing to do with the smoke in the air, as he launches into a bitter tirade that would have put their Captain to shame. 

He’s nowhere near done, and he has plenty more to rail and shout and scream against as his anxiety peaks in the relative safety of the aftermath of what could have been—even if what comes out of his mouth is little more than a harsh pain-filled whisper—but before he can say another word, Eddie’s surging forward, cutting him off at the pass with the sudden press of his lips against Buck’s.

And just like that, they crash together, fumbling for purchase as they collide.

Every bit of me hurting for you

He hopes he didn’t freak his husband out too much with that message, just enough to come running, just enough to hope that he’d know to leave Christopher at home before racing to Buck and Maddie’s rescue.

Crawl towards a life of fragile lines

There’s another shot in the distance, a horrible bang from somewhere behind him, followed by the surreal sound of a lead round slamming into metal at high velocity—much louder than if the bullet had found a soft target. Buck flinches so hard that his head hits the underside of the engine and his adrenaline spikes.

And in short, I was afraid

Buck’s silhouette is standing in the doorway, and god, Eddie would know him anywhere, even now as he fights just to breathe. 

& i'll tag @littlespoonevan @henswilsons @capseycartwright @homerforsure @lovebuck @hopeintheashes @evanbucxley @shortsighted-owl @buttercupbuck and @tripleaxeldiaz <33 sorry if you've already been tagged and I missed it!!

#fic game #911fic #911 fox #tag game #mellaithwen fanfic

[harrystylescherry]

Idk just going for a hike with harry and being total tourists somewhere people don’t really care about him (kind of hard now but…)

635 words ayyye

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Are you?” Harry asked as you both closed the car doors. 

“I am fit!” You said. 

Harry laughed. “You’re hot, but I think ‘athletic’ is pushing it.”

“See, this is why you need to go back to school. That isn’t even what I said. I said I was ‘fit’ not ‘athletic’. Your listening comprehension is shit.”

“Same thing.”

“Is not. There’s a clear difference and you refusing to see that difference is embarrassing—for you. And it really just goes to show how dumb you are.” You argued. He laughed as laced his fingers through yours as you walked towards the trail’s entrance. 

You flexed your fingers within his and he held on tighter. 

“We’ll be fine.” He said. 

You wanted to roll your eyes, but didn’t. This was something he said often, but it was rarely ever correct. Typically, you two were never fine. Typically, you would think you were fine and then cameras or girls would appear out of nowhere and the two of you would be forced apart and/or violated. 

It wasn’t that people didn’t know the two of you were a couple because they did. It was that they didn’t respect it. Photos of the two of you touching—even holding hands—made fans viscerally angry. You understood it. You really did. You had been the same way with Austin Butler for years—before he was Elvis and he was on Zoey 101 and that Sex and the City prequel that you could never remember the name of. You had pinned those photos of Vanessa and him on the street—everyone knew the ones. Then it was Alex Pettyfer when he disappeared into obscurity. You mourned the day he got married, honestly. 

But Vanessa Hudgens was a fool. Even now you knew you would never be so stupid as to fumble that bag—and you had told Harry that when you attended the Elvis screening in London. You also felt that way about Florence Pugh. Bi or not—you were down. So you understood. You got it. But that didn’t mean you would ever say the things that had been said about you and Harry, or that you wouldn’t respect relationships. 

You were used to what happened when you two went out: the points and the laughs; the whispered words between friends; the blurry posts on instagram and the subsequent arguments over whether or not you had gained two pounds. Frankly, you didn’t need it. And honestly, sometimes you thought about how easy it would be to be with someone else. 

Then, because of course, he would throw his arm over your shoulder and he would kiss your temple. He would tell you, as you’re trekking up the trail of orange dirt, that you look hot in your biker shorts and that he can’t wait to get you home where he could devour every piece of you he couldn’t see. 

You wished he wouldn’t say those things—that he didn’t want you as much as he did—because it would be so much easier. But Harry wasn’t easy—though that didn’t mean he wasn’t worth it. 

As you two walked up the trail, you cringed every time people walked past. It didn’t matter if it was one girl, two friends, or a group. Your anxiety would spike and you would fight the urge to pull from Harry’s grasp. 

After what had to be the tenth group of girls pass—where all they did was side-eye Harry and whisper amongst themselves—he leaned down and said, “Guess I’m not very popular today.”

“Lucky for you, that means my mouth will be on your dick within the hour,” you said back. 

He wrapped his arm around your waist and whispered that he was counting on it. 

#harry blurb #harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles fic

[hellowhisperingstars]

The Future

Summary: The final Ghost makes their appearance and Eddie sees how his future will go if he doesn't change.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Words: 2.5K

Warnings: Y/N use, cursing, court and jail, talks of driving under the influence, and death. I think that's it. Please let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: I would like to just say right now I know nothing about the judicial system. I tried but I know it's not right lol. Go with me on this lol. This chapter is shorter then the others so I'm sorry! I used Robert Torti as the face claim for The Ghost this round, but please feel free to see him however you want! Let me know what you think!

Previous - Series Masterlist - Forward

3:00 AM

“Shit,” Eddie said as he paced the snow covered front yard. His hands gripped his hair as he looked up and down the street, worry and fear crashing down on him. What happened now? Was he stuck as a ghost forever? “Shit, shit, shit. Fuck!”

Back and forth and back and forth he continued his pacing as he spiraled down a rabbit hole of some kind of crisis.Turning once more he headed towards the driveway that sat Steve's car, when his path was suddenly blocked by a large dark figure that seemed to materialize out of nowhere. Eddie’s head whipped up as he stumbled backwards landing flat on his ass in the snow. The looming spirit made his heart jump into this throat. “Holy shit…”

It was like the Grim Reaper was standing right in front of him, the tall cloaked menace stood like a bleak omen in the white surroundings. It cocked his head slightly at Eddie as he sat in the snow, almost like it was sizing him up, only the place where it’s face should be was nothing but inky black darkness. 

“So, you’re uh- you’re the future guy huh?” Eddie asked as he stood up, wiping the back of his pants instinctively, even though no snow was there, and backed away a step to not be so close to the ghost in question. “You’re going to show me my future? That’s what happens in the story… right? Past, Present, Future?”

The ghost said nothing as he stood staring at Eddie for a minute before he lifted his withered skeletal hands towards the sky. The ground shook, thunder rumbled, and lightning flashed through the sky as their surroundings got darker and darker, the shadows creeping in around them. Eddie looked around in panic as the darkness encroached closer and closer, until it swallowed them whole.  

Eddie never minded the darkness before, but now it was terrifying, unsettling. It made his anxiety spike and it felt like any sort of creature from either dimension could reach out and grab him. Drag him down to never see the light of day again. He couldn’t even see his hand in front of his face. Then suddenly in the darkness as a pinprick of light shone through, getting bigger and brighter as a new scene came into existence. No longer was he standing in a front yard of two of his estranged friends, but as he blinked his eyes trying to get them to adjust to the blinding light, Eddie realized he was in a courtroom. The Bailiff for the court stood next to the witness stand, his hands on his belt as the door behind him opened, revealing a slightly younger man in a judges gown. He looked familiar to Eddie but he couldn’t quite place why.

“All rise! Court is now in session. The Honorable Judge Andrew Lawerance, presiding!” The Bailiffs voice called out, the sound of people standing, papers shuffling and then a moment of quiet as the judge got comfortable in his seat. The folders stuffed with papers he was holding were now placed on the desk in front of him.

Taking his eyes off the judge, Eddie looked around the room, his breathing picked up in quick bursts of anxiety, his heart thundering in his chest. He was sure he would have a heart attack right here as something, no someone, caught his eye. Standing at one of the tables was himself. He was older, he looked like a wreck if he was being honest, his hair was pulled back into a low neat ponytail, his features tired and with a slight bruised around one eye, the orange jumpsuit he was wearing was practically fluorescent under the lights of the courtroom, he glumly nodded at something the man in the suit next to him whispered to him. Taking a barely there step closer, the “ghost” Eddie looked at himself in horror before his eyes bounced around the table filled with papers. An old newspaper sat by a folder and when Eddie craned his neck he could just see the date, October 19th, 1996. This Eddie was one around thirty-one years old. A very rough thirty-one years old.

The judge looked up at Eddie and grinned slightly a mean glint in his eye. Forever a bully, now just being paid to be one. “Good morning ladies and gentlemen. Please be seated. Is the defendant present?”

Both older Eddie and his lawyer nod with a quiet “Yes, your honor.”

“Is that Andy from the Basketball team?” The metalhead asked as he looked up at the ghost slightly behind him. “Fucking figures he would be a judge. That guy just loved to torture people. Now he gets to do it legally.”

“This is the sentence hearing for one Edward Munson. Mr. Munson, are you pleased with the assistance that your attorney has given you thus far?”

“Yes, sir,” Eddie said with a nod as he fiddled with his ringless hands. He really hated that he had to treat that man with respect after all the shit he put him through in high school. 

“Is there any reason we should not continue today?”

“No, sir.”

“Very well. The first order of business is to re-identify for the record the charges against the defendant. Then we will take any final statements or questions. Mr. Munson, you are charged with one count of reckless homicide, one count of driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol resulting in a death, and one count of possession. The defendant has been found guilty of all charges by a jury of his peers.” 

“Reckless homic-” Eddie asked as he looked around the room trying to find any clue as to what he had done. But there was none to help him. What he did see though, was his friends, everyone he just saw laughing and partying at the Harrington-Buckley residence, his uncle, and your family. But no you. Tears welled in his eyes. Shaking his head he looked up at the ghost. “No… Please no…”

The Reaper next to him gave him no hints but lifted his hand and pointed at the judge. Almost like he was just telling him to watch. 

Eddie turned to look at his old bully again with wet eyes, his arms crossed over his chest as he tried to hold himself together. He watched as the trail went on, the judge, prosecution, and the defense answering questions and making final statements. Eddie watched his older self push his face into his hands. He knew what he did. 

The judge looked up from his papers at the two lawyers at separate tables. “If there is nothing either of you would like to add, we will continue with the sentencing. On the charge of reckless homicide you are hereby sentenced to ten years imprisonment and a fine of ten-thousand dollars. One the charge of driving while under the influence resulting in the death of Y/N Y/L/N….”

The judge kept talking but Eddie couldn’t hear him. He killed you. You. No. That’s impossible, he would never do something like that. He was smarter than this! “No, no, no this can’t be right! I wouldn’t. Not her! If I was that fucked up I wouldn’t even leave the house!” Turning he looked at the looming figure. “Tell me this is a joke!?”

The ghost said nothing, just turning its head slightly to look at him before he looked back at the older Eddie. He was crying too, as silently as he could, but he was, the shaking of his shoulders tipped them off. 

“This court hereby sentences Edward Munson to a total of twelve years in the state penitentiary and must pay a fine of up to fifteen thousand dollars. There is a chance of parole after five years. Court is adjourned.” He slammed his gavel on the desk making both Eddie’s jump at the sound.

Eddie could only watch as two cops came forward, one pulling handcuffs from his belt, and gesturing for the older Eddie to turn around. He watched as they handcuffed him and walked him from the courtroom taking him to his fate. Shaking his head he looked over the courtroom at the audience. The kids, the teens, the band, Wayne, and your family all sat crying in their chairs. His family for the loss of years he now must suffer and your family from happiness that justice was served. “This can’t happen…” 

The courtroom started to get dark around the edges, feeling like he might pass out Eddie took in a deep breath. The ghost finally turned towards Eddie, his withered boney hand coming up between his shoulders to push him around, his other arms coming up gesturing to a new scene that was starting to come to life before him. It was almost like watching a play, they turned the lights off on one part of the stage as the lights on another part started to glow creating a new setting. 

Eddie saw himself again, only this time he was laying on a stiff uncomfortable looking metal prison bed, his cellmate snoring loudly in his sleep on the bunk above him. He looked around the small locked cell, it was cramped with hardly enough room for the two grown men that shared it, a metal toilet sat on the back wall next to a jankey looking sink. The walls where cinder block the grooves between the bricks dark with dirt, two small metal shelves that held a few books were bolted into the walls. Taking a step forward he looked at the calendar that was taped to the wall. December 24th, 2000. Looking back down at the older version of him, he cringed as he watched himself grab at his chest. He was only thirty-five. 

“What’s happening?” Eddie asked as he looked up at the reaper. He could only watch as he grunted, pain twisting his face into a horrible look as he gasped. A heart attack, he was having a heart attack. He could feel it, sense it. Though he knew it would do no good Eddie ran to the bars of his cell, “Hey! Someone help! He’s - I’m having a heart attack! Hey!”

Turning back to the ghost he glared at him. “This isn’t what’s going to happen! I won’t let it! I’m not gonna to live up to my fathers name like this!”

The cloaked figure only turned from him, setting his pitch black gaze on the man in the bed, watching as the older Eddie’s hand continued to clutch as his chest, the pain evident on his face for a few seconds until with one last stuttering breath the hand unclenched and fell, hanging over the bed. Lifeless.

“Hey!” Eddie yelled, anger boiling up in his chest as his hand reached out not caring a lick that he was about to grab this terrifying specter. His hand grabbed hold of the hood on the cloak and he yanked it back to get the attention of the ghost who seemed more interested in looking at the dead body before him. “Are you listening to me?!”

The ghost turned quickly making Eddie lose his hold on the cloak and stumble back in shock when he got a good look at the face beneath the hood. It wasn’t a skeleton like he expected it to be but his father. He winced as the man sneered at him. “Dad..”

“Is this what you want?!” His father, Thomas, yelled pointing at the deceased Eddie on the bed. His dull lifeless brown eyes staring at him. “To die sad and alone, knowing you killed the only person you ever loved?! If you don’t get your shit together this will be your future Edward!”

“This won’t be my future! I’m going to make this right! I’m not him!”

“You’re pathetic!” The ghost with his fathers face laughed as he glared down at him, “You’re more like him then you think you are!”

“That’s not true! I’m nothing like him!”

“You ran away!” The ghost yelled as he threw his hands out to the side gesturing to the cell around them. “Your life got difficult and you turned heel and ran! And look where it got you in prison just like your father! Pathetic!”

The cell shook, the gloomy dark lighting of the scene flickered as the ground started to crack. On uneven footing Eddie turned to grab onto something, anything, that would help stabilize him but his hands found nothing that would give him any kind of help. He lurched forward, his hands flying out to brace himself as he fell, expecting to meet the hard unforgiving ground of a prison cell. Instead his knees slammed into the dirt. 

Wincing he whipped his head around as his surroundings changed. No longer was he locked in a metal and cinder block cage, now he was outside in a paupers graveyard. No headstones, flowers, or green grass to make this place a pleasing place to visit. The empty branches of the trees reach towards the sky like hands begging for something. Forgiveness? Sympathy? He didn’t know but they scared him, clouds rolled in quickly, thunder clashing, the sounds made the bones in his chest rattle as lightning lit up the sky in a blinding flash of white. 

“Buried in a pauper's grave. Seems appropriate for a man who had no one. No mourners to sing your praises and no one to weep for your death. All alone. Just like you wanted.” The ghost mocked as he towered over Eddie, making him feel smaller than he already was.

Clutching at the ground Eddie turned to look at what he was sitting on. A grave. Another flash of lightning and he was able to read the tiny impersonal plaque that was shoved unceremoniously into the ground.

EDWARD MUNSON 1965-2000

He is grave. Shaking his head he pushed himself back so he fell onto his ass and scuttled away from it. “No. No. It won't end like this! I still have time to fix it!”

The sky opened up then, rain pouring down on him. His hair quickly getting drenched and sticking to his face as he looked up at the sky then the reaper behind him. The ghost with his fathers face just stared down at him with a smirk as he started to sink into the dirt like it was quicksand. Try as he might there was nothing Eddie could do to get free from the mud that was pulling him under. His hands reached out to find purchase on the ground in front of him but the dirt just gave way. The more he struggled the faster he sank until his entire body up to his neck was below the earth.

“Pathetic,” The reaper said as he glared down at Eddie.

Eddie felt panic in his chest as he tried to struggle to climb out of the grave but soon even his head was under the dirt and he saw nothing but darkness.

#eddie munson #eddie x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #Hard Candy Christmas series #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things fanfiction #st s4 #multi chapter

[cydie]

day 4 vyvanse

drank some orange juice

eating dumplings and broccoli which is more food

woke up around 12 bc when i got up at 9 i felt like a zombie

did some research and many say that not enough sleep affects the effectiveness of the medication

[[MORE]]

i did get a bit of a boost in the morning though, just before i was leaving i very speedily cleaned up some dishes got dressed and ran out the door bc i was running late

idk if i was excited to spend time with a friend

or if the drugs were doing the thing

but then later in the line for superman my heart rate was 110??? out of nowhere but also

i had just messaged matt and i've noticed anxiety brewing when the day started getting closer to me seeing him

like on tuesday after work when i felt awful and wrote that post about needing sunday night to be addressed

and when i told him about it tuesday night and he turned it against me and further negatively reinforcing me

so either the meds are spiking my heart rate and thats stressing me

or im feeling anxiety i havent understood yet and i think its the meds

but then the anxiety i felt when i found out he was going out saturday ngiht after all and didn't want to tell me

that wasn't meds

#personal #vyvlog #;m

[loser-brain]

Vent: I wish I could drive with ease

Wish I wasn't mentally ill so I can drive and before anyone say you can drive while being mentally ill, you are right!

I just can't because my mother made me afraid and I can't drive anymore without my anxiety spiking because of her. I now understand why everyone hates backseat drivers. They're fuckin' annoying and won't shut up over little things.

Example being I was driving really well but my mother won't shut up over little things and it got to the point were she was controlling. There were two cars way way way far away. I didn't care for those cars because... 1. I see them at a red light. 2. They were way way way far away, nowhere near us.

She yelled at me to stop and watch out for those cars... like what? no, I'm not going to stop and wait for them to pass just so I can make my turn. They are far away at a red light. I am going to turn-

She then yelled at me and reached her hand onto my wheel. Demanding me to stop. I got scared and I did stop. We were in a middle lane, I can't stay there for long. Next thing you know she is yelling at me to go. I couldn't go at all, I was so scared that finally I went. What was more terrifying was that the cars that were at the red light were no longer at the red light. They were coming closer and closer.

When we got to the parking lot, I actually screamed at her to shut up, she was not helping at all. Because of that, she then started to berate me. We found a parking spot and I didn't want to drive anymore, because she doesn't trust me to drive. And I am not about to go another 10-20 minutes to drive home. She then says that it's embarrassing to swap places, especially in public. She was only looking out for me.

BITCH NO YOU WEREN'T. YOU ARE ONLY CARING FOR YOURSELF. SAYING IT'S EMBARRASSING TO SWAP WITH YOUR MOM BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE WILL THINK-

I DON'T FUCKIN' CARE. THEY WILL ONLY SEE MY CRYING FACE AND YOUR PISSED-OFF FACE AND KNOW THAT I MAYBE WAS NOT THE PROBLEM.

But ever since then after that incident. After a few years have passed, I can't drive. Even getting behind the wheel my heart begins to race. I can't and it sucks. I wish I could drive so I can like... ya know... take my dogs to the vet. Go buy stuff without asking someone to drive me there. I live in a place that driving is necessary to get from point A to point B. I wish where I live was more friendly to non-vehicle riders.

#sorry im rambling

[lucysweatslove]

.

#so my husband went to Old Town where we lived for like 9 years on Wednesday #his physical office is still there so he got up really early to go #I wake up when he gets up more of the time but try to go back to sleep #he didn’t say goodbye which was weird but I thought maybe it’s just bc he didn’t want to wake me #he also didn’t give me updates about the drive and didn’t really talk to me throughout the day #I was working too so I just figured busy day but it still felt weird #when he got home he was just not responsive and went right to bed #so yesterday I had a break at work and just mentioned he seemed a little off or irritated #and when I asked he said something about not having this fight now and let’s bring it up in therapy #since that’s on Monday I agreed but then my anxiety spiked bc I hate knowing there is a problem but not knowing what that problem is #so I kept trying to think of what the problem might be because it came out overnight?? #but then I had a large break in my morning and he decided to talk about it instead of bottling #and he just isn’t happy because guess who isn’t going anywhere in her life? yeah it’s me #here’s the thing tho like when he got a raise and our finances relaxed a bit he seemed fine #I also have a job but I get shit pay and not very many hours right now and he now calls it a hobby because my income is very little #I can’t tell how much is him being dissatisfied with the fact that I really truly am going nowhere with my career and personal fulfillment #versus how much is despair over rapid inflation and the economy in general #but this has been kind of an constant thing even with marriage therapy #for a few years #it will wax and wane and whatnot but it seems like we always end up back here #so I’m questioning if we are going to end up talking about divorce #it’s basically just that there isn’t any benefit to loving me / loving me isn’t enough I guess #because my reality is that I’ve just failed in everything I wanted to do #and apparently I failed at my marriage too #which was always like the one thing I could count on and feel fulfilled in #so if I’m quiet for a while that’s what’s going on #if we do end up discussing a separation I will likely have to move back to Washington and quit my job #since my wage is lower than washington min wage #I’d spend a few months there while I work out next steps #but for the first time ever I really don’t see a future

[yaomomvs]

SEIJOH MANANGER HEADCANONS

seijoh, aoba johsai x reader | slight oikawa, iwaizumi and kunimi x reader.

a/n: ugh! i just love my seijoh boys so much! and so, i decided to make one more headcanons for them, tysm! hopefully i’ll do inarizaki next or maybe karasuno.

a bit long but i just love them,and i will do a part two mainly focusing on while they do volleyball this is more of random things

other seijoh!manager works: one | two

the volume in this bus is ASTRONOMICAL

you actually never thought of joining a club, specially a sports one.

but you needed it, so while looking at the board of the school’s options you were unsure.

“i just really need something not that complicated, and that helps me helping others” you muttered to yourself

little did you know the coach of the volleyball team was there, this nice man turned to you and offered you a place in the team.

“but please if you are one of oikawa’s fangirls dont-” “who now?” you genuinely asked. seeing that you didn’t had a clue of who he was talking about he immediately handed the application for to you.

it was first day and you were already late, but you managed to enter the gym half way practice.

you guys remember that tanaka and kiyoko scene in s4? well it was the same

“sorry for being late coach!” your voice sounded all over the place since someone was serving and it was pretty quiet.

ALL OF THEM WERE SHOCKED LIKE 🧍🏻‍♀️

the serve even hit yahaba’s face because everyone got distracted by your beauty

“i- did i do something?” “existing omg”

the coach lined up everyone and they greeted you welcoming you to the team.

you were flustered because it was like you never had a lot of guys around you and now you had to take care of all of them and also

aoba johsai’s team had one of the most attractive boys around likeeee

now, a year later, the energy is purely chaotic.

and i mean like

kindaichi and kunimi are lowkey the ones who respect you the most

not only because you, even if it was for only a year, you were their upperclassman but also you had presence

when karasuno came to the practice andy oh catched both of them after talking to kageyama in the bathroom, you pinched their ears and scolded them

“you both do that again and i’m not being compassionate” “SORRY Y/N”

but also lowkey your admirers

kunimi literally only showed strong emotions around you

“i brought you some sweets” he regularly says

“oh you are great! thank you kunimi!”you appreciated this guys little details with you

“so you have a favoritism with our manager huh?”

“y/n permission to hit kindaichi”

“permission conceded”

kindaichi also respected you because you, when he entered seijoh months ago, were one of the ones who made him believe and helped getting over that anger he had with his ex teammates and you even assured that kageyama was the reason he got better, even if he wouldn’t accept it

the second years, your literal followers

like seriously yahaba watori were always around you.

being in the same grade and class as both dod not helped a lot.

they are like puppies with anxiety separation

because you are the reason they feel loved and cared for

they always sit next to you in class, and they make sure you are comfortable with it.

you need help with hw? watori always is there

yahaba lets you paint his nails every time you got bored in class

you were such a powerful trio

they always bring your favorite drink in the mornin

you even developed this sixth sense where if you just look at each other you know exactly who are you making fun of without even speaking

you always make fun of the shit way of yahaba to flirt oml

and you even advice him on what should he do or not when meeting someone new.

istg if it was not bc of you he would have never got his first date with his crush

kyoutani later joined you, but he had trouble on trusting you

but seeing all the team laying on you he actually let himself rely on another person for the first time

he was the one who scared those stupid volleyball boys fan girls (oikawa’s or the other guys ones) away from you

he also thinks that you are not bad physically talking and he actually says it but privately

he also whenever he is mad or just frustrated comes to you and what he likes is that you don’t go in deep of the details but instead you try to distract him with random thing you say.

“guys i told you several times” you laughed “i do have other thing to do! it not like i can attend every night out with you! i have other friends too!”

“so, we are not watching cartoons tonight?”

“i hate you all so much” you surrendered “see you at 8 pm”

you became the second years core four

and also they looked up to you a lot, why? because you are the only people who always deals with the third years shit

god i think your connection with the third years was only a bit more noticeable than the second years

why? you were not afraid to mess up with them

to be real iwaizumi as oikawa caught your eye since moment one, they were naturally attractive and talented but you made a promise to not fall for anyone

omg you were so wrong

if it was iwaizumi, he always made sure you felt comfortable around

you were no vb genius so he took the time to explain you a bunch of things you did not know 🥺

also, he’s the kind of guy to stop everyone spiking because you were crossing through the gym so no ball gets you

he is the one who always search for you in school, asked about your day, and stuff that might seem basic but it was really meaningful

like he is the kind of guy who memorizes all your favorite places, treats, music anything and actually tries to get you to talk about it

oikawa on the other hand was the one who actually made you feel like part of them

he is so sweet!

like

oikawa only starts practice when you are there

like bold of someone to start hitting a ball without you there, he considered you part of the team, so he always waited for you

he walked you home or nearby every time he could he wanted you safe

his eyes always always instantly light up and screams “y/n-chan!” and immediately runs to you

but also he is the one who search you the most around

if it was lunch time he went to your home room and literally lunches with you no matter what or who

he never lets anyone lend you their hoodie, it always has to be his that you are wearing

he self crowned himself as your favorite

he hugs you out of nowhere istg is the best feeling ever

hanamaki also also also considers you priority

he is kinda more of the lowkey one, he is mainly the one who checks up on you

he once spotted a bruise in your arm and he immediately freaked out

“DO I HAVE TO FIGHT SOMEONE” “god no! i just dropped a huge book there!”

hanamaki is the one who waits for you in the entrance of the gym to walk with you to practice

he also is the first one to notice if something is wrong with you along with iwachan

they both unintentionally pay attention to you a lot and if you do something out of the common they just approach you

and they are always right

“what’s wrong y/n?” hanamaki says

“yeah, is everything okay you need anything?” iwaizumi continues.

“what do you mean guys? i’m okay” you obviously try to lie.

“no you are not, you are acting different”

“yea iwachan is right you always change yous t shirt before practice and the way you are ordering the volleyballs is off”

“why do know me so well” you indeed had a terrible day, so you almost tear up bb of that and be of how amazing your boys were to you sometimes”

“come here little one”

you heard a pout

“i see you oikawa, you can get a hug too. matsu come here”

matsukawa is your hype man

he loves messing with you like in the big brother sister way

like if a guy asked you out he’d be like “sis you can do so much better”

you are always being salty whether it’s between you or other ones

besides if you do have a crush on anyone on the team matsu is the only one to know

and he’d constantly blackmail you with that

“if you don’t buy me anything from the vending machine i will tell oikawa you actually swoon for him” “OKAY FINE”

“tell the coach that we do not need laps or iwaizumi is gonna knowwwww about” “i hate you so much”

but returning to the point you always messed with them specially the four third years

and you were so good at it

one day, you ‘innocently’ mentioned to the boys “i’m just telling you! i’ve never seen two pretty best friends, one of them always gotta be ugly”

GOD LORD THE BOMB YOU JUST ACTIVATED

THEY SPENT A WHOLE WEEK TRYING TO FUGURE OUT WHO WAS THE PRETTY BEST FRIEND BETWEEN IWA AND OIKAWA, ALSO MATSU AND HANAMAKI AHHAHAHAAH

your third years never made you feel insecure

like if you think idk listening to btr was weird because someone in the past made you feel like it be sure the next day they WILL PLAY FUCKING BIG TIME RUSH IN PRACTICE ONLY FOR YOU TO VIBE WITH THEM

also they all four have this little thought that they have to be the ones who protect you

in the court you looked out for them, outside of it they were the ones who did that

if you were teased or someone even had the audacity to make fun of you it could go three ways

you stoping kyoutani and yahaba because they were so ready to throw hands

matsukawa, hanamaki and kunimi just taking you out of there and rather say positive thinks about you

or oikawa and iwaizumi behind you giving the saltiest and meanest glares to whoever dared talking you that way and saying “and you still wonder why people don’t like you?, ” then iwaizumi says “you are right oikawa, you piece of crap have your entire life to be a jerk. take a day off your stupidity won’t left anyways”

god you sure loved those guys

BUT

as it can be really useful sometimes there were other times were they become so annoying

specially when it’s about someone liking you.

like romantic styles

i live for the idea that the vb team had obviously fangirls, oikawa mostly. but you also did

like yeah the fangirls of oikawa and the boys envied you

but the guys in aoba johsai high envied the volleyball team even more

god bless the poor guy or girl who DARES to ask you out

like please someone stop them 😭

on valentine’s day you came to practice a bit late just because you needed to figure it out how to organize all the fucking love letters and the chocolates and flowers that you got over the day.

oikawa was already worried as he always waited for you to start, and so were the guys so they decided to warm up a bit more to wait.

you crossed the door with thousands of gifts and all of that barely catching the ones which you dropped. because at this point you did not even try to hide it from the boys, you just wanted them to start practice.

he looked at you and knew exactly what that meant. he received this every once in a while, but god what was that feeling in his chest when some other people like you?

iwaizumi felt that too, that weird feeling not wanting anyone to think about you that wayyyyy

the rest of the boys had divided opinions but still you were their manager.

“so did all this came from...”

“yes matsu...”

“okay but for scientific purposes we need the names”

“HANAMAKI NO”

poor boys, they just are all scared that you’ll leave them because of someone

what a dramatic queens they are all

some of them didn’t like it bc they also had a big crush on you

so what they do is that they gatekeep anyone from you

like oml if they ever catched you and a girl or guy and they knew they liked you they constantly beg for your attention.

and it’s not only because they are being dramatic but also because they remember last year when you went out with some random dude and broke your heart like

they almost killed that guy

so they wanted you to feel happy and safe

to them? honestly you are the light of their life.

they dedicate every game to you, they take care of you, they listen to you, they brag about you, they love you

because honestly you did all that for them first

and ever since then they made sure to return that to you.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #oikawa x reader #iwaizumi x reader #iwachan #matsukawa x hanamaki #hanamaki #matsukawa #haikyuu imagine #seijoh #aoba johsai #seijoh manager #kyoutani x yahaba #yahaba headcanons #kyotani x reader #watori #kunimi x kindaichi #kageyama #hinata x reader #sugawara x reader #tsukishima x yamaguchi #tsukishima x reader #oikawa x you #kuroo x kenma #kuroo x reader #bokuto x reader #akaashi x reader #karasuno #fukorodani #iwaoi

[goddess-of-green]

Hi! Can I request Itachi's s/o finding out about Izumi and how everyone still associates her as itachis lover and she gets bit insecure? Thankss

Warnings: Fem!Reader, self-deprecation, mentions of death

Itachi had not been coming to bed lately.

You would fall asleep before he got home, and wake up to him already gone in the morning, but signs that he had been there after you'd fallen asleep.

Or you'd wake up drowsy around 3 am as Itachi slips into bed next to you, wrapping his arms around you and hushing you back to sleep.

You knew Itachi was a busy shinobi, and a rogue one at that. So you tried not to push when he would visit less, but you missed him.

You wanted to see what was keeping him up.

You decided to follow Itachi one morning, after he left your cabin.

You were no S-Ranked ninja, but you had decent training. You could hold your own against a Chunin or a low-level Jonin.

Itachi had noticed you following him immediately, but he didn't do anything to stop you. He knew he had been neglecting you recently and you had a right to know why.

He had been on a casual mission for most of the day, before he finished and it was around the time he used to come home.

Getting more anxious, you bit your lip as you trailed at a safe distance behind him.

After trailing him for another 30 minutes, you finally found out what had been keeping Itachi.

He was in a cemetery.

The Uchiha cemetery.

Standing at a specific grave in particular.

Moving a little closer, your stomach dropped as you read the name on the headstone.

Izumi Uchiha.

You knew that he had loved a girl before you. You knew that they weren't together anymore.

You knew that her name was Izumi.

Itachi would talk about her sometimes, if you asked. But you could tell that it hurt him to talk about her.

You suddenly felt far too intrusive. Far too gross. You felt nowhere near good enough for someone like Itachi.

Of course he'd rather be here. I bet he loved her more than me...I bet he never loved me at all...He probably just pities me...

It was too late when you noticed the tears streaming down your cheeks, you hurriedly tried to wipe them away, hiccuping.

Your anxiety only spiked when you heard Itachi speak.

"Y/N...please come out. I know you're there." Itachi said monotonously, and you were sure he was going to break things off with you. Tell you that you were a bad person and how much he'd rather you be dead than Izumi.

But none of that happened.

Instead when you got close, he wrapped his arms around you.

"I love you Y/N." Was all he said.

Your eyes widened and you immediately pulled back, "You- what? B-but I... I was...I'm not-"

"You're not Izumi." Itachi cut you off, but there was no malice in his tone. Just love, as he stroked your hair.

You frowned. You already knew that but hearing him say it still made you sad.

"I did love Izumi. She was my first. And she will always be a part of me. A part of my past." Itachi continued.

Your lip trembled and you couldn't stop the tears from running down your cheeks as he went on.

"But," You looked up at Itachi through your teary eyes, waiting for him to finish, with the vain hope that he would have something better to say.

"Izumi is just that, a part of my past. You are my present, Y/N. I love you. It's called a first love for a reason. I know I've been spending less time with you lately and I apologize for that. I know I can be hard to love sometimes and I just want you to know that no matter how distant I get, or how hateful I may seem...I will always love you, Y/N." Itachi finished.

He was crying too now, and you both relished in each other's embrace as the sun set.

#naruto x reader #itachi #itachi uchiha #itachi x reader #itachi uchiha x reader