#god I have so many other wips I need to work on but my brain has said
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Renegades trilogy fandom,
I got a thingie planned
one lyric comic comin up
I have like... 6/17 done
#god I have so many other wips I need to work on but my brain has said#NO.#renegades#and i say#fair enough#renegades trilogy#renegades fandom#wip
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Rolan Headcanons: pining and dating
〚 Masterlist | WIP List 〛
This post will be organized into 2 parts: pining and dating (to be fair though, it's more like unofficially dating vs officially dating) - so only read the parts you're interested in! The marriage and domesticity post will follow soon!
-MDNI-
includes language alluding to 18+ content, but nothing explicit.
"Pining"
so I think that your guys' "relationship" would start during the events of act 2 - but nothing would be official
I know a lot of you probably hate the connotation of "situationship" but I'm going to be honest: the word itself fits perfectly
try to get rid of the gross feeling that word leaves in your brain for a second and think about the things you're having to do throughout the events of the game
you are fighting people every! single! day!, you have a fucking tadpole in your brain that could turn you into a mind flayer at the drop of a dime if something were to happen to your guardian, you're eventually tasked with killing three Chosens of their respective Gods, you're navigating the shadow cursed lands and dealing with all the literal freaks that live in it -- you cannot have a real relationship right now !!! it would be the most depressing thing ever !!
It's a bit of a situation for a while, you guys are into each other and have reciprocated some level of feelings for the other, whether it's just lust or it's something deeper (or both), and by the end of act 2 it's just kind of a situation with him
on top of that, you both are hiding it from everyone else
you're also trying to be considerate of Rolan and his life, his safety
being in a relationship with him, making promises to him, would put him in danger - you'd put him in danger
on top of that, he's been working so hard for the apprenticeship he's on his way to the city for, and for so long, too - he needs to focus on that
despite these two major components, you still can't keep away from each other, and eventually, just allow yourselves to indulge in each other just a little bit before going separate ways for the events of act 3
You both take a private moment to say your goodbyes before leaving the inn for good, after having spent multiple tendays getting to know each other and revealing certain feelings
during that moment, he tells you to come find him in the city when you can and he makes you promise not to get yourself killed
you're like "erm 🤨☝ how do I-" and he's like JUST PROMISE ME
So now you really can't die, bc Rolan said so.
my headcanon is that you two are actually quite close, quite bonded by the time act 3 begins
neither of you has said "I love you" to the other at this point, but you both came super close to it on the day you killed Lorroakan after having found Rolan all beaten up
despite everything you'd been through up to that point, you've never been quicker to kill someone than in that moment
after the fight, Rolan pulls you into an intense, yet somehow still gentle hug, and you reciprocate - hoping to the Gods he doesn't have any bruises where you're squeezing him
that moment you're both holding each other, with so many emotions hanging in the air, is when you both nearly say it
except you don't - because there's a deep, unspoken understanding between the two of you that nothing can happen until you both know it's safe
you end up telling your companions that you're done for the day, that they can go do whatever they want, and you'll meet them at the tavern in the morning
(they have put two and two together by now if you haven't told them at this point)
you spend the entire night taking care of him and making him feel better (take that however you'd like)
leading up to the final fight, there'd be a moment between the two of you when he timidly asks you if you'll come to him after you beat the Absolute
when you remind him your chances of survival are small, he tells you again that you're not allowed to get yourself killed
the moment is cute but it's also terribly sad - but you still promise him you'll return to him when it's all over
and when the time comes, that's exactly what happens
he was at home in the tower, he had been pacing the entire time waiting for your arrival - first aid equipment and healing potions on the desk in case you needed them
he'd been drinking too, as proven by the empty bottle of wine next to all the healing supplies
when you entered the room, horribly bruised and bloodied, he makes a noise that perfectly reflects the level of relief he feels - something between a shocked gasp and a relieved sigh
"my love" he'd call to you breathlessly, not even hesitating to bring you into his arms despite how dirty you were
the two of you are immediately on the same page, holding each other impossibly close, kissing deeper than you ever have before
he buries his face in your neck with another "my love" before telling you how relieved he is that you're alive
"I love you" finally comes out that night
he'd have you rinse off briefly as he ran a hot bath for you, adding lavender oils to soothe your mind, and mineral salts to soothe your body
he'd get in with you, place you on his lap facing him, and just hold you as you told him about the horrors of the fight
you'd tell him how you couldn't believe it was over, that a part of you was terrified that something else would come up and you'd have to jump back into action and that it'd never end
he'd reassure you that there was nothing else to worry about, promising it was all over as he ran his hands soothingly over your body, feeling all of your scars under his fingertips and palms - thinking about everything you'd been through, everything you'd sacrificed
an icy twang of guilt pierces through him when his fingers graze over the scar you got in the fight to save his siblings, and he shudders before pulling you in as close as possible
He'd tell you, in the most sincere voice you had ever heard from him, that he loves you - your whole body flushing with warmth at his confession
you'd told him earlier how you didn't really have anywhere to go now that this was all over and you'd have to find somewhere to live
he'd just kind of brush it off, saying you could stay at the tower as long as you needed to
it wouldn't be until later that night once you were tangled up together in bed that he'd tell you not to look for somewhere to stay
He'd tell you to stay with him, that he wanted to go to sleep next to you every night and wake up by your side every morning
He'd tell you again that he loves you before finally expressing how honored he'd be to call you his
over 700 words later, you guys are finally official LDFLDFJD
Dating:
you take him up on his offer, obviously, and you move in with him right after the events of the game
Turns out Rolan had told Lia and Cal about the two of you, and his feelings for you, that night you fought the Absolute and he was stuck at home worried about you
His siblings had come into the room he was in to ask where to find something, only to find an extremely anxious Rolan
He wouldn't have much patience with them, bursting out in a ramble upon the first question they ask him - exposing his feelings for you and all of the moments he'd shared with you up to that point, and how now the person he loved could very well die
They were like "well yeah okay we knew you had a thing for them but love?!?!"
That's why they weren't surprised to see you there the next morning - they really liked you so they were quite happy, actually
there was a little bit of a learning curve in your guys' relationship at first
you'd only ever known each other during the most stressful parts of your lives
so now that your lives were far less stressful, you almost didn't know how to handle it - but Rolan was incredibly understanding and patient with you
it was like you weren't processing what you needed to, and your body was still in "go, go, go" mode
Initially, you kept yourself busy by helping Rolan with his tasks around the tower - it was easy for you to get lost in the tedious work of cataloging and organizing all of the books and scrolls
As much as Rolan loved spending time with you and the interest you were expressing in his work, he worried about you.. a lot
He'd eventually ask you if you had an interest in venturing out more into the city as he'd been worried about how secluded you'd become (he was gently trying to get you back into society)
You both had compromised that whenever he was doing tasks around the tower you'd be allowed to help him, but when he was doing "master of the tower" things, you'd go into the city to visit the markets or something similar
Upon returning home on one of the days you had to go out into the city while he worked, you were immediately greeted with a loving hug and kiss from Rolan before he led you to the dining room
There on the table was your favorite meal from home, something you hadn't had since you were a child, something you'd only told Rolan about once
You were breaking down before you even picked up your silverware, and Rolan was by your side in the blink of an eye
That was the night you finally began to process what had happened to you, and he was there for you through every second of it
I didn't mean to get lowkey sad wth, anyways
Rolan can cook!
He loves to cook for you, he will literally make anything you want
He'd cook for you on the same night each week, but he always wished he could do it more often, he looks forward to it every day
Each time is like a little date - and you have such lovely conversations on those nights, it's probably his favorite thing to do with you
Other honorable mentions for Rolan's favorite things to do with you include reading to you in bed while you're curled up to him, and taking relaxing baths with you (and other things with you, but I already made a post about that)
Rolan is very much husband-material
While you're dating, you talk about your future together quite a lot, and he really appreciates the moments you open up and let him know where your head is at
he's already decided that he wants to marry you by the time the 6-month reunion party with your companions comes around
and depending on your opinions about it, he'd marry you as soon as he could
and when the time was right, Rolan would propose to you
He knows you very well, so he wouldn't make it a grand occasion if that's something that you wouldn't like (but he absolutely would if it was)
regardless of the scale of his proposal, it would be exceedingly romantic - he's the type to have the whole thing planned out, word for word
he's not even that nervous about it beforehand since it would've been something you both discussed - he didn't have to worry about you saying no
instead, most of his thoughts were taken up by his excitement to finally be asking you
In the moment you say yes, he's practically already thinking about what he's going to cook for you on your 10th wedding anniversary
#i'm sorry if these suck - idk why I feel like they kinda suck HSDHFAHD#it's okay#the next ones will be bangers#on my hands and knees begging someone to request Rolan angst#my writing#my hcs#baby boy#rolan#fluff#x reader#bg3#brainrot#baldur's gate 3#x tav#rolan posting
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Ghost x Reader x Konig: I Don't Need You (Ch. 10)
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Summary: Thankfully, things have been resolved between you and Konig. You start to settle in more with your team, and Roze shares a few thoughts with you over a smoke. The memories are still there, but just like the winter around you, they're cold and unwelcoming. You and Konig open up to each other a bit more, more than you had ever opened up to anyone.
WARNINGS: implications of masturbation, cursing, angst (if you squint?), plot building, graphic depictions of animal torture and death (PLEASE CONSIDER ALL WARNINGS BEFORE READING THIS, I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME thank you kindly)
Notes: Yes! Hello! I exist!! I've been in a slump, and I really do apologize for that. Many of you have been very patient with me and I love and appreciate you all for it! I had to intake as much CoD literature as I could in the past few weeks to get me motivated, which helped a LOT (not to mention I discovered no fewer than ten works that currently have a hold on my heart). But it's here! I forced myself to write over half of the following chapter so that it would be less daunting to finish up. I also plan to make a wip post for yall, just to share will everyone what goes on in my rat brain.
This was edited at 3 am (god it's 4 am now, i just saw that), so if there are any grammatical or spelling errors you have my full consent to call me out on it! Please enjoy!
(sidenote, I completely didn't research how old you need to be to become a navy SEAL, so reader's age is a bit inaccurate in regards to that. pls ignore lol)
(last sidenote then you can read, does anyone have tips for customizing the layout of their fics? I see so many cool ways to style the font and cute banners and errything but I have no idea how nor what to do)
- - - -
The sky hung low with a blanket of gray. It looked like it was about to snow, although the threat was soon dismissed when noon came around and there wasn’t a single flake. The air was cold and dry, forcing me to zip my jacket up all the way and tuck my nose into the collar. I blew steady, warm breaths into my jacket and tried to soak up the heat into my bones.
It was as if the incident had never happened.
Konig and I ended up driving to the liquor store, which was a blessing, since I had run out of Yeungling (and I didn’t understand enough Turkish to converse with the clerk, nor did I have any of the appropriate money – Konig was graced with both of those necessities). We talked like there had never been a week and a half of silence between us. He talked about how he had nearly forced Ridgeback to drag me out of my room and into the common area, “… but it would have been too early for that.” He commented. That, and I would have rather died.
So life went on as normal: dreary, aside from shooting people and getting shot at. Nonetheless, it was normal, and there was a peace to be found in that.
I leaned against the building to the training room, with Roze to my left. I had intended to come out and soak up whatever natural light I could – when I saw her standing there, possibly trying to do the same, I felt the instinct to play it off as if I was just leaving the building. But she cocked her head in a greeting, and a part of me took an interest in her worry-free aura. Out of everyone, she always seemed to be the least-stressed person in the room, even in the middle of a warzone. It was the balm to my anxious mind that I never knew I needed, but gratefully stood by.
We remained together in a comfortable silence (one I would most definitely would not have been comfortable with a while ago), staring ahead, watching the indecisiveness of the brooding clouds above. I wondered what the rest of the world was doing – if they might have been as calm and carefree as us, or if they were in some kind of peril, and the horrors of it were blocked out by the clouds.
I was drawn back to the present when I heard the click click click of Roze’s lighter. I turned my head and watched as she shielded the weak flame from the wind, lighting the cigarette that hung loosely from her lips.
“You smoke?” I asked.
“Sure do.” She replied nonchalantly. “Want one?” she extended her pack of cigarettes towards me.
I glanced at the box, feeling a sour taste in my mouth.
I lay on my stomach, my muscles still twitching and shaking as I tried to even out my breaths. Ghost had tossed a thin blanket over my lower half. I hadn’t even moved from the position he had ruthlessly fucked me in – my body ached too much to even try, and my mind was still recovering from the past hour.
I watch Ghost as he reclined next to me, pushing the bottom of his mask up to place a cigarette between his lips. It was the first time I had seen any part of his face all day. He grabbed his lighter from the pocket of his pants that were discarded on the floor, lighting the end of the cigarette and inhaling. He tossed the lighter back down to the floor as he tilted his head back, exhaling a long stream of smoke. I watched it swirl in the lamplight, settling in a cloud around us. He continued puffing, staring at the wall across from the bed as I lay beside him, although I felt worlds away from him.
He'd started off the night with a mountain of stress from a mission gone sideways. Instead of the usual slow build, where he would run his hands under my shirt and kiss my lips slowly and tenderly – he had walked in and immediately demanded I remove my clothes while he began stripping out of his. I had assumed tonight was going to be a passionate one, until he threw me onto my stomach and shoved my face into the pillows. It wasn’t the first time he’d been rough with me, but it wasn’t just rough – it felt dehumanizing. An hour of constant, merciless thrusts, and a hand around my neck that restricted both my blood flow and my oxygen, and I had fallen into a state of shock.
But, in the end, I was happy to be caged in by him again.
I was happy.
He turned his eyes towards me, seeming to sense that something was off. He exhaled another puff of smoke. “Everythin’ alright?” he asked, completely void of any genuine concern.
I met his eyes with my own. I felt like I shouldn’t have to answer the question, and it stirred up a bitterness in me. But I didn’t feel like arguing with him, and I certainly didn’t want him to leave – so I nodded my head, slowly blinking my eyes. “Just tired.”
He hummed and faced the wall again. He brought one of his knees up and rested his arm against it. “Want a smoke?” he asked, still looking away.
I shook my head as much as the pillow beneath me would allow. “No.” I replied.
He sighed disappointedly. Apparently, my lack of enthusiasm after being used like an old fucktoy was irking him.
To be fair, I never spoke up about how I felt.
He grunted and rose from his position, snuffing out his cigarette in the ashtray by my bed, and picking up his clothes and pulling them on. My heart ached slightly as I watched him slide his shirt over his torso. I felt the threat of tears sting in my eyes as I wished his hands were holding me instead, keeping me warm and grounded. He pulled his jeans on and fastened them, buckling his belt rather quickly; and all while he faced away from me.
“Well, I know you probably need some alone time.” He muttered, sliding the skull attachment over his mask. “So I’ll get going. I’ll see you around.”
He grabbed his tactical vest and jacket and slung them over his shoulder. He paused by the door. “Thanks for tonight.” He mumbled, before finally leaving the room and softly closing the door behind him.
My eyes lingered on the ashtray with the half-smoked cigarette. A thin trail of smoke plumed into the air – I wanted to throw the tray across the room and shatter it. But it was Ghost’s, so I couldn’t; I couldn’t regardless, because it was a piece of him that remained with me, even when he left.
That, and the smell of smoke.
“Nah, I’m good.” I replied, facing the cold, empty base ahead of me.
“Good.” She said, pinching the cigarette and blowing a stream of smoke. “Stay that way. Did you know these bastards give you cancer?”
I chuckled into the collar of my jacket. “Do they, now?”
She hummed affirmatively, sucking another breath in through the cancerous bastard. “Who would’ve thought…”
We fell back into silence. I continued watching the stillness of the base, trying to see if the sky would follow through with its promise to fall. Now that my free time wasn’t spent holed up in my room, it somehow felt like there were fewer ways to spend it. With another mission on the horizon – a simple recon, yet dauntingly close to a heavily-guarded compound – no one was out and about when they usually were. Finding Roze outside and seemingly not worried was usual, however, and a warm sight, compared to how the rest of the team was on edge. Even Askel seemed grumpier than most days.
I hadn’t been seeking out someone to spend time with, no… that I would never do (or admit). But talking to a familiar face provided a comfort I had grown to need over the past couple of months. And, frankly, I felt like Konig might be getting tired of how much I ran to him when I craved social interaction. Though he had never said anything about it, I felt like I needed to branch out to other team members than just my Colonel. One might think I was trying to kiss his ass (I knew the accusation had already crossed Juno’s mind, but the young soldier was good at holding his tongue – when Konig was around, at least).
“You ever think about how ‘little girl’ you would react to this?” Roze asked, and I turned to face her. She had her nose scrunched, and a tinge of pink dusted over her cold cheeks. “Guns, war, no playdates or days at the beach…”
I sighed. “Probably would have cried.” I replied, allowing my freezing nose to poke over the collar of my jacket. “Especially if I had known that being a princess now adays meant spending more time worrying about becoming a hostage than anything else.”
Roze chuckled. “It’s a good thing we didn’t know then.” Her face was mostly blank, but I thought I noticed a hint of bitterness in the way her gaze landed on the ground. I watched her flick her cigarette with a bit more aggression than usual. “I would’ve tried to convince my entire family to run away to Scotland, live in hiding and pretend the rest of the world was a dream.”
“Scotland?” I asked. Soap’s cocky grin and heavy Scottish accent stirred in my mind, but it felt like nothing more than a small cloud of dust.
“Yeah – heard it’s fucking gorgeous over there.” She waved her cigarette in no particular direction. “Now, I don’t know how peaceful it is in terms of politics and war, but it’s pretty spacious. Simple, too. I feel like if I talked about throwing all my shit away and becoming a fisherman for a living, I wouldn’t get people trying to talk me out of it like I would in the States.” She took another drag, and laughed out the smoke.
“Fisherman?”
“Yeah.” She chuckled, a hardened smile gracing her lips. “I don’t know why it sounds so appealing… it just does.”
I hummed and looked back out at the compound. I wondered about Roze’s past; she had never said or done anything to indicate that it was particularly rough, as it was for the majority of us (us – I still wasn’t used to including myself, but it was becoming more of a habit each time), but the weariness in her eyes when she spoke about her younger self made me question what that girl had been through. Maybe it was just nostalgia. A yen for simpler times. Roze seemed to appreciate the simple things in life.
“You know Askel goes ice fishing?” she said suddenly.
I smiled underneath my jacket. “Seems like something he would do.”
“Every winter.” She continued. She dropped her cigarette to the floor and crushed it into the gravel. “He takes about three weeks of leave, if we’re lucky enough to get it, and goes to Norway. Sits on a frozen lake for hours a day, just waiting for a fish.”
“You make it sound like he’s never caught one.” I point out, my eyes lingering on the cigarette.
She shrugged her shoulders. “So does he. Every time I ask him what he caught, he just laughs. Says he’s never expects to get a bite.”
I closed my eyes and hummed in response. It was easy to picture the scene – Askel, sitting on a thick layer of ice, nursing the hoppy beers that he and Konig loved so much and waiting for a fish to bite. I wondered if he even bothered to reel the line in when he did catch something. Or if he even went fishing at all. Maybe he just went out there to get a sense of peace, to pretend that war and death didn’t exist.
The motion of thick, heavy snowflakes falling from the sky caught my attention. They landed on the skin of my nose, resisting the warmth for a few moments, before they eventually melted into trickles of water. A sudden gust of wind blew a flurry of them towards us, making the both of us flinch.
Maybe fishing doesn’t sound too bad.
- - - -
The shooting range was mostly silent, save for the occasional conversation between me and Konig. The lights were low, easily illuminating the gunpowder and dust swirling in the air. Konig and I stared at the paper target as we analyzed my shots. A few hit dead center, although most of them were clustered around the lower left of the bullseye. My lips were pursed into a scowl as I glared at my sub-par aim – it wasn’t typically so awful, but of course it was while Konig had been watching.
“Eh, are you sure you didn’t lie on your paperwork about being a sniper?” Konig asked as he stood behind my left shoulder, taking the target from my hands and looking at it closely. “You weren’t even ten yards from it. This is very poor marksmanship.”
I scowled in embarrassment, taking my pistol to the counter and pulling out the mag. “Rough day.” I answered bluntly as I started packing more bullets into the small compartment. It wasn’t a lie – I had barely gotten any sleep the night before. I was in the middle of a rather interesting dream involving me and Ghost, until my alarm woke me up before anything of importance happened.
“Very bad…” he mumbled to himself. I clicked my tongue in annoyance.
“Y’know…” I grumbled, loading the mag back into the gun and shoving it in my holster, “I don’t like stereotyping, but the boot really does fit you.” I walked past him and out into the hallway, not waiting for him to follow.
“Hmm?” he made an indignant noise, momentarily stuck in his spot, before he came jogging after me. “What does that mean? What stereotype?”
I chuckled. “Haven’t you ever how Germans are extremely blunt?” I asked.
“Austrian.” He retorted. “Do I need to brand that onto my face for you?”
“Wouldn’t do me much good, with the mask ‘n all.” I replied.
He laughed – rather snorted, as usual – “Ah, you’re right. Maybe I am blunt – just as much as you are defensive.”
I stopped at the end of the hall, right in front of the exit. “Defe-“ I turned on my heel to scowl at him. “I am not defensive! Where did you get that idea?!”
He stopped behind me, his eyes widening. He gestured an open palm in my direction. “This.”
I huffed, turning back around to punch the door open. The snow from earlier that day had ceased, blanketing the base in a thin layer of white. The moon seemed that much brighter against the crystalized ground, and the yellow lights scattered across the compound made parts of the snow look like sandy dunes. My nose tingled from the nip of the chilly air, and I pulled my jacket tighter around my body as the door fell shut behind me and Konig.
“Well, what am I supposed to say when you call me defensive?”
“You could agree.”
“But I don’t.”
“Which proves my point.”
I huffed in frustration, despite the smirk curling on the edges of my lips. “So, either I have to agree with you, whether I really do or don’t, or you’ve corralled me into a paradox.”
I can practically hear the gears turning in his head. “A what?”
“A paradox, like a – y’know, never mind. It’s too difficult to explain.” I let him fall in step next to me, although he was the one who needed to slow down to match my pace. “We can just agree to disagree, how’s that?”
“Agreed.” He nodded, and I chuckled. “It won’t change the fact that I’m right, you know.” He added.
I bit my lip and tried to keep my smile from growing ridiculously larger. I looked up at him and patted his shoulder – he looked down at me, and the corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled back. A stray, reddish-brown curl poked through the side of his balaclava, and I found the miniscule detail warming my heart through the cold air. He felt real, and in this moment, too human for this kind of life.
“Why did you choose the military?” I asked, turning back to look at the ground as we walked.
He hummed. “Isn’t that every boy’s dream?”
“Well, yes – but most of the time, it never becomes more than that.” I responded.
He shoved his hands into his pockets, mimicking my own position. “I’m not really sure what made me push so much for it. I almost didn’t make it, for obvious reasons.”
I chuckled. “Size does matter, huh?”
He looked down at me with a deadpan gaze, one that I refused to meet. “It almost did, in a bad way. And I almost backed out before they could be the ones to turn me away. But, of course, they knew they would find some use for my size – so they took me in.”
“And what did they do with you?” I asked, looking back at him.
“A ‘human battering ram,’ as my superiors had so nicely called it.” He framed the description with his hands in the air, as if it had been written on a plaque. I laughed and looked back down at my feet.
“Seriously?” I asked. “So they just had you breaking down doors, and then what?”
Konig laughed with me. “Well, I still had a gun, so I was able to shoot, thank goodness. And I had a bit more gear so I wouldn’t break my bones against the doors – I still dislocated my shoulder a few times, however…” he rolled his left shoulder, as if there was still a lingering pain from how often he had thrown himself at doors. “It was actually during a period of recovery when I proved that I could still be a sniper. My shoulder was still healing, so I had to give up being a battering ram for a while. I was sat with Horangi on the side of the mountain to give him cover. Of course, he was ambushed – he had to fight the Arschgiege right when we were given the order to shoot, so I had to take position behind the gun.” I noticed that his chest was puffed out a bit from pride. “That really knocked their pants off.”
I chuckled, choosing to ignore the inaccuracy of his phrase. “Did it now?”
“It did.” He replied, then looked at the ground. “For a moment. I got a good earful for overstepping boundaries that day, but it’s what ultimately landed me here – so I’m grateful for it.”
I nodded and hummed. “What was Horangi picked for?”
Konig shrugged, his hands now back in his pockets. “He never said what he and Commander had spoken about in his office. But, even if he wasn’t chosen – I like to think we come as a package. If I go, he goes, if he doesn’t, I don’t.”
I felt my heart warm at his words. The memory of how Juno had described Konig couldn’t be farther from my mind. It almost felt like I was talking to someone I briefly crossed paths with in my youth – not a war criminal, not the bloody and stiff soldier who had stepped onto the heli after our first mission. I envied his ability to separate his work stress from the time he had in between missions.
“Why did you decide to join?” He asked, catching me off guard.
It was only fair that I opened up to him, since he was so willing to do the same. Always the one to go first, too. But I had to be careful. I didn’t want this to turn into a pity party, and I didn’t want to dig anything up that I had worked so hard to bury deep beneath my subconscious.
“I was… a weird kid. Like you.” I said, making Konig scoff and roll his eyes. “Looking back now, I hate my younger self. I was so sensitive to what people thought about me, and I just wanted to be independent and strong. I wanted to be a ‘different girl.’” I gritted out the words that left a sour taste in my mouth. “I think I just wanted attention at first – of course, when I heard how everyone said they hated how annoying teenage girls were, and how gullible and weak they were, it just – it made me change. I wanted to prove everyone wrong, it wasn’t just about being different anymore. So, as soon as I turned old enough, I enlisted. Didn’t get to Navy SEAL right away, of course… but I joined every program I was allowed in until I could submit my application.”
I sighed, then chuckled. “Thought my family would say they were proud, that I was successful, that I was doing a good job… they were just angry. Said I was throwing my life away for business that didn’t involve our country.” I opened my mouth to say more, but I ended up scoffing and closing it once again. I felt like I had shared enough.
I looked at Konig, expecting him to acknowledge what I said. “That’s how the story goes…” he would say. But, when I met his gaze, I only saw concern. His brow was creased with what I imagined was pity, and my stomach churned. It was the exact opposite of the reaction I had hoped for. I only wanted to share stories with him, and now it was… this.
“I think you made the right choices.” He said, and I looked away.
“You don’t need to make me feel better, Konig. I appreciate it, but-“
“I’m not just trying to make you feel better.” He said, his accent slightly thicker from his exasperation. “You’re good at what you do. Your parents are just probably worried for you, and they don’t know how to show it.”
I bit down on my tongue, my eyes settling on the building in front of us with a hard expression. If only.
“Maybe that’s it.” I muttered, hoping he would drop the subject. He seemed to understand, and turned to look ahead with a disappointed sigh. My heart sank the tiniest bit at the sound, and I internally scolded myself. Still a people-pleaser, apparently.
We continued walking in silence, the buzz of the lights above us mimicking the static of a communication system that had been severed in a time where it was needed most. The edge of the barracks appeared into our view, just around the corner of the arsenal sheds that stood between us and our destination. I continued to stare at the ground, pretending to watch my steps and try to not slip on the snowy asphalt. My heart twisted with each second of silence that sat thickly between us. It wasn’t technically a fight, but somehow, it felt worse. It felt like the first time I had pissed him off, the first time we had spoken to each other – and god, did I already hate myself for the way I had acted towards him during those first few weeks. I didn’t want to drive another wedge between us, not after the ones that had already been worked back out.
I exhaled heavily through my nose. “Sorry.” I mumbled quietly, but loud enough that I knew it reached his ears. “Sensitive topics.”
He flitted his eyes in my direction, but didn’t bother to move his head. He sighed, and I nearly jolted when I felt his wide hand on my upper back. It rubbed back and forth, and it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that he was comforting me. Or, trying to, at least.
“I know.” He said, and his hand rested on my shoulder. “I’m sorry for pushing you.”
I didn’t know how to respond. I was stuck on the feeling of the roughness of his palm, which I could gleam through the fabric of my jacket. How his fingers squeezed gently and released twice. There was no hidden meaning, no forced contact or any kind of attempt to put context into the touch. It was… natural. Warm, comforting, and it spoke a thousand words that I wouldn’t have been able to stomach if he had said them. It broke past my self-hatred and walls of ���don’t be weak’ that I would have used as my defense if he had tried to verbally convey any sort of consolation. It was the first time I didn’t feel awkward about being so close to him, let alone when he was touching me. I wondered if he did this on purpose, or if he had no idea what he was doing at all.
I let myself stand nearer to him, almost tucked under his arm. I looked up and smiled as genuinely as I could – not that it was hard for me, but because I wanted to make sure that he really knew how much I appreciated the gesture. Although, if he knew that this simple act of comfort would pierce through my outer shell, was it really necessary?
“Thank you, Konig.” I said.
He looked down at me and smiled. That damn smile. I wondered how much more refreshing it would be when he wasn’t wearing his mask. It was already too much for my soul to bear when it was just the crinkling in his eyes that I could see.
“Anytime, Bonnie.” He replied, patting my shoulder before tucking his hand back into his pocket. I grieved minimally at the loss of the touch, but I was happy for what it was. “And I mean it. Anytime you need to talk – or not talk, and do that empty staring that you do – just come find me.”
I quirked an eyebrow in his direction. “Anytime?” I asked amusedly.
“Mhm!” Konig replied, his eyes on the ground as he watched his steps. Then, the realization hit him, and his eyes went wide with panic. “Oh- well, eh- I guess, not anytime-“
“You gonna tell me when?” I joked, and he laughed. “You need an open/closed sign on your door.” I jogged ahead, trying to reach the door to the barracks before he did.
“How about this?” he called out, and I could hear the grin behind his mask. “I’ll nail a chalkboard to my door, and if I’m busy, I’ll draw a stick guy jerking off in his bed!”
My cheeks burned after I heard him. “No!” I shrieked, laughing nervously. “You’ll traumatize Juno!” I quickly tried to pin this on someone other than me.
“Juno, hah?” Konig teased, and I had half a mind to run into the building and leave him on the quad. “I don’t care about him. Kid needs to be traumatized.”
I laughed and threw my head back, turning the corner around the arsenal shed. “That’s not very-“
Immediately, my heart leapt into my throat, and I gasped. Konig nearly ran into my back as he skidded to a halt.
Sick, sick, what the fuck, I feel sick-
“Stimmt etwas nicht?” he asked, concerned. “What- oh, scheisse-“
We both stared at the bird on the ground. A crow from the looks of it, though it was hard to even decipher that it was a bird in the first place, due to the state it was in. Its belly had been cut open, entrails and bloody bits pulled from the abdomen and strewn to either side of the bird. Its wings were stretched to their full capacity and most likely beyond it, crushed and missing a large number of feathers. Both of the legs appeared to have been ripped off and tossed to the left of the crow. Its beak was the worst of it all: pried open, the jaw probably broken from how wide it was spread. A haunting look of terror in the crow’s red, glossy eyes made a violent shiver run up my spine.
I exhaled shakily, my eyes still glued to the horror. “Holy shit – what the-“
Konig quickly walked around me and knelt in front of the crow. I shifted to look over his shoulder, still fearfully curious, but he held a hand out behind him, urging me to stay in place. With his other hand, he pulled at one of the bird’s wings, stiff and heavy. Whether it was frozen from the cold, or this was the effects from rigor mortis, I couldn’t tell.
“How – did a fucking fox do that?!” I asked. Are there even foxes in this area? How the hell did one get on base?
“Nein.” Konig replied, still looking at the corpse. His gaze fell upon it with a sense of… familiarity, maybe? “Not a fox, no.”
“Then what? It – whatever it was didn’t even eat-“
“I’ll take care of this.” Was all Konig said. He stood up and marched past me – I was barely able to catch a glimpse of his furious expression. His eyes were hard and narrow, and as he walked away, I noticed that his shoulders were tense and his hands were balled into fists. I didn’t dare say anything to him; he almost looked the same way he did after our first mission together, except this time, his anger seemed to be directed at something, instead of just a post-mission adrenaline high.
“I’ll see you later.” He said over his shoulder. There was an obvious fury to his words, and although I knew it wasn’t intended towards me, it still made me freeze where I stood – almost as if I might anger him more simply by taking a step after him.
Whatever it is… I thought, watching him disappear into the compound, he’s sorting it out. I can take care of myself. Although, with such an abrupt and tense departure, I was at a loss on what to do next. I looked back at the bird; its terrified eyes locked onto the sky above it, frozen in its last wish to fly away from whatever horror it endured.
A shiver ran up my spine, prompting me to look away.
- - - -
Taglist: @igotmajordaddyissues @princekonig @vixionix @v3lv3tvampir3 @theoneandonlykymberlee @luvvnightingalee @dillybuggg @sun-joo @perfectus-in-morte @evilive @satakingslime @comfortless
Please let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist!
#konig x reader#konig x reader smut#konig cod#konig smut#call of duty#cod x reader#ghost x reader#ghost x reader smut#ghost cod#cod#konig#ghost#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon riley x reader
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So... I know I'm late...
But yea! I said I was coming back with some stickers and I kept my word! I would've hoped that I could've completed the sheet in like a day but as you can see...that didn't work out
I know I've been a bit MIA lately but burnout sucks. I do have a lot of WIPS I really want to work on but again, it seems that the ProcrastiNation hath struck my feeble mortal brain again.
But anyways:
I headcanon Aroace Mei, just a personal headcanon (disagree if you like) I also like lesbian Mei but thought I'd give some aroace appreciation
Silktea was only given 1 episode but OH BOY did it fuel our wild shipping habits. And I jumped on the bandwagon. It's a reference to that scene in She-Ra where Scorpia tells Catra she 'didn't want to do this' then wraps kitty up in the blankey and cradles her like a wee baby. And Sandy would do that for any friend, I will die on this hill
Saw a fanart where Mk had a pig nose themed pacifier and I just yoinked that idea. The pig hoodie and the pacifier seems like something Tang would do for Pigsy (also to get away with free noodles cause who can say no to that face?~)
Mac showing Wukong the lantern. What can I say, mans' fascinated by them pretty lights. Though our little performer's eyes seem to be straying from the show (^u ')
I know many people have issues with shipping with Nezha and such and I know the two had a rough history but y'know what fans do; they love to make the people who kill each other soulmates (platonic, romantic or otherwise) Even if it wasn't romantic, I still love the idea of them being buddies and just chilling, the danger noodle prince and the angy prince snuggle and watch a movie (mainly from Nezha 2019 but I also saw New Gods and can I just say, I want those two twinks to bicker then kiss awkwardly and I want Yun Xiang to BEAT. HIS. ASS) but in case anyone asks, I do perceive Nezha to be a consenting adult in general outside shipping drama and if the two are adults, it does make my heart squeal when I see these two hold hands and whatnot
HOW COULD I EVER FORGET MY SPICYBOIS, inspired by that one Ponyo kiss scene. I was actually gonna make a bigger piece but then I saw someone do it already in a much better fashion than I ever could and I just gave up on the idea but Ig here, its just like the two cakes mentality and I gave it a go. Hope I could do the concept justice
Have spider queen or scorpion queen ever interacted before? No. But they are both queens and I believe Spider Queen's confidence could rub off on Scorpion Queen and she'd appreciate the company of Spider Queen's children henchmen. Also she give yummy food so lesbian venomqueens for the win
Redraw of that moment with Peng and Azure. I normally detest that bird but these two do get some gears grinding and whatever anyone says. Neither of those two are straight. I'll tell ya that.
Toxicinsanity is another rarepair that had like 1 sec screen time. I don't think they'd ever work out in canon and had virtually no chemistry. I still love all the fluffy ship content I can find of them though and if it ever were to happen. I think the mayor would scare the sh!t out of Syntax
Let's get at least one hetero couple here, Chang'e and Hou'Yi are a couple of favorites ngl, I took most of their outfits from Over the moon cause both of them looked stunning, Chang'e especially. I've seen people ship mah girl with other people and while I do agree it's healthy to move on, in my heart she will always long for Hou'Yi
Also irl, on valentines, my mum took us out for lunch, she treated us to bubble tea and donuts. We walked home so I waited to drink mah drink in my room while I drew and I accidentally finished it all... I'm so sorry mum
f*ck I forgot ironbull. Uhh....I'll draw something later, rn I need to go to bed before I get yelled at...
click pic for less sh!ty quality!
#lmk#my beloved#lego monkie kid#pog champ#py's_art#lmk mk#lmk red son#happy valentine's day#lmk fanart#spicynoodles#lmk mei#lmk wukong#lmk macaque#lmk pigsy#lmk tang#lmk sandy#lmk huntsman#lmk syntax#lmk spider queen#lmk spider demons#lmk mayor#lmk scorpion queen#lmk nezha#shadowpeach#silktea#lmk freenoodles#Inkyfeathers#toxicinsanity#venomqueens#lotusdragon
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im soso curious, i need to know... why is tim a child of apollo? bless u for not going with fanon<3
[referencing how I decided who the Batfam's godly parents were in my PJO AU WIP]
People like to sort him into Athena because DC has spent the last few years emphasizing how smart he is and how he's better at the more “cerebral” and detective aspects of the job. But Tim’s most prominent pre-reboot traits are not actually his detective or tech skills: they’re his reckless, impulsive bravery, his ability to analyze and think very quickly on his feet in dangerous situations, and his "power of friendship" idealism.
He's a people person; it's one of his greatest strengths. Tim is like...physically incapable of going somewhere and not making at least one friend while he's there. Hell, when he ran off to travel the world on his "fuck you, I'll find Bruce on my own" trip he still managed to pick up his own little crew of assassin friends along the way. Making connections and talking to people and relying on others for help is how he successfully navigates being a hero, as he himself notes on multiple occasions:
"Did you think I was going to run all around the city, desperately trying to save everyone all by myself? I'm not Batman. I have friends." -Red Robin #12
Tim loves his family and friends, and losing so many people he's close to within such a small timespan sends him off the deep end in multiple ways (trying to clone Kon, fighting Dick to get the Lazarus water, isolating himself from everyone, fighting with Dick and running off to find proof that Bruce was alive on his own, etc).
At his core, Tim is an idealist who becomes a hero for no other reason than a) a broken man needs help and a broken family needs mending and b) if Dick won't go back to being Robin he might as well do it, because someone has to be Robin. He sees what will happen if Bruce stays on the path he's on and says "no. I'm not going to let that happen." He's a hero because someone has to help, and he's able and available to do so. He doesn't work on cold hard logic and facts. He works off of gut instinct and then uses his big brain to go find facts and logical conclusions that support those instincts.
Tim was never going to be an Athena child.
So I started thinking. At first, I wanted him to be a Hermes child; it seemed right to frame his parentage around being the child of the messenger of the gods given how he became Robin. But that's not really him, either. Apollo, within the scope of both classical mythology and the PJO-verse's depiction of him and his children, fits him better.
While modern culture tends to zero in a lot on Apollo's status as the god of music, poetry, and the arts (for good reason), Apollo in classical Greek mythology was first and foremost known as the god who (for lack of a better term) helps his people. He's the god of the sun, of light, of medicine and healing, of prophecy, of truth.
Tim comes into Bruce's life at a time when Bruce is at his absolute lowest point. Jason is dead. He's estranged from Dick. He's failing in his mission to save Gotham. He's highkey passively suicidal. And Tim takes it upon himself to fix that. And he does it by being a solid, bright, stable presence in Bruce's life and an extremely blunt, truthful messenger of the future he sees: Batman needs a Robin, and if Bruce doesn't have one he's going to die.
And I didn't abandon his intelligence in the calculations: Apollo is also the god of rational thinking, order, and knowledge, contrasting and working in harmony with Dionysus (the god of irrationality, chaos, and passion). He was also known to be the god whose job it was to interpret the will of Zeus to humankind, which I thought was appropriate for a boy who spends quite a lot of his time being the living communication translator between Bruce and everyone around him.
So. Apollo child.
............also I thought it was funny to make the god of youth the father of the boy DC refuses to allow to age.
#I also have a thread of connection running between Apollo being the god of plagues and Tim getting the Clench in Contagion#but that was kind of an aside to the whole thing#tim drake#tim drake meta#dc comics#bruce wayne#batman#my writing#batfam pjo au
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Hey DSD!
Nonny here, do have a list of any writers you would recommend and maybe even one or two of their fics?
Would love some more reading material and thank you so much if you do end up sharing with me.
Hi Nonny! Absolutely, I do! There are a ton of amazing writers, both here and on AO3, especially for Star Trek since it's such a long-standing fandom. I will absolutely list some of my favorites, but please do not be afraid to explore the tags both on AO3 and here on tumblr, because there are a ton of amazing writers that I haven't encountered yet, and I'm probably leaving some out unintentionally. (I'm so sorry! My memory is like that of a gnat at times!)
Also, on my pinned welcome post under the "Keep Reading" there's a link you can click that will (hopefully) take you to all the posts I've tagged on here as fic recs! So feel free to take a look at that too!
I highly recommend any/all stories by the following authors, and beneath their names I'll list 2-3 of my favorite stories from each:
@creature-of-the-stars - on AO3 here as ToeBeansMcGee
"Weeds Among Stones" <- this is ongoing and brilliant and amazing and i love it 🥰
"Oh, Don't Mind Us" <- this is a oneshot sequel to another favorite called "Be Still" which is a multi-chapter that I adore 🫶
"Keep Your Enemies Closer"; the sequel "Rekkhai"; and the follow-up "Beyond Fortunate" <- just pure perfection *chef's kiss* 🤌
@bigblissandlove1 - on AO3 here as bigblissandlove
"The Raptor's Descent" <- many chapters and it gave us S'Talon and just utterly delicious 😍
"The Assignment" <- a gorgeous oneshot that gave me emotions 😭💖
"Surrender To Me" <- a long oneshot that made me fall in love with a side character 💚
@horta-in-charge - on AO3 here as Horta-In-Charge
"X Minus 1" <- it hab sad, wet-eyed Weyoun, I mean, what more could you want??? 👀💜
"Broken Covenant" <- cannot words enough to praise this sufficiently, so just go read it 🧡
"Fantasy" <- the emotions omfg THE EMOTIONS 😭💖
@starrynightgardens - on AO3 here as jaylens_twin
"Proposition" <- this fic and it's epilogue are gorgeous and I have read it so many times 🫶
"Things Unseen" <- this is an amazing multi-chapter fic and there are so many emotions 💚
"Regenesis" <- I...there are no words, this is so amazing 💜
@leopardcoffee - on AO3 here as Leopardcoffee
"Ashayam, I despise you" <- beautiful, chef's kiss, excellent! 💙
"Maroon" <- it's a wip and a damn good wip 🥰
"On Pause" <- the angst omfg 😭❤️
@crowfootwrites - on AO3 here as CrowfootWrites
"Devotion & Diplomacy" <- as far as I know, this is the first Star Trek fic they've written, and it's an absolutely gorgeous wip 💖
@stay-neurotic - on AO3 here as stayneurotic
"A Prisoner's Needs" <- how do I even words about this??? 🥵💜
The entire "Keevan and the Spy" series <- read the tags before you start; this scratches a very specific itch ❤️
The entire "A Hostage Situation" series <- read the tags before you start; this also scratches a very specific itch 💖
@maybeamultiverse - on AO3 as maybeamultiverse
"A Matter of Security" <- it has young Vreenak, so how could I not adore it??? 💚
"The Vulcan's Limerence" <- Solok/Sisko!!!!! 💙
"War Birds" <- this is honestly such a well-written Letant fic. ngl, the whole fic is fabulous, but the first three chapters live rent-free in my brain and they always will 🥵
@emilie786 - on AO3 as Emilie_786
The entire "Discs" series <- apparently I'm v behind in this series, but I've read the majority of it and I am SO IN LOVE WITH HOW THEY WRITE SHRAN 💙
"Paranoid" <- this is...how do I even describe how much I love this fic??? 🫶
"The Hug" <- god, this is just SO CUTE 🥺
@foreverforty2 - on AO3 as forever_42
"His Eyes Speak" <- read the tags for this one; honestly such an amazing fic! 👀 (have I even talked about this fic here?? if I haven't, then I've been very remiss!) to be completely transparent, I haven't read any of their other works, because (I believe) most of the rest are Star Wars centered, and I don't know pretty much anything about Star Wars.
@indignantlemur - on AO3 as IndignantLemur
"Emigre" <- obviously this is on there. a fabulous fic, excellent, wonderful, stupendous, glorious! if you like Andorians, this is the fic for you! 💙
"The Stars Keep Watch" <- badass Andorian from SNW my beloved 🥰
@sleepycat82 - on AO3 as MeowMeowPowPow
"Grace Under Pressure" <- a gorgeous Letant/Reader/Vreenak fic that deserve a ton of love 💜
"Emergency Surgery" <- istfg one of the few good things to come from PIC is Krinn, and I'm so excited to see where this wip takes his character 👀
"The Wager" <- I literally just saw that this existed and I'm about to go start it. 💚
@ericbogosbian - on AO3 as Vorta_Scholar
"Testing the Effects" <- yes i'm outing myself as a Data smut enjoyer, but this...it's good Data smut 💛
Any of their Sito Jaxa/Vorik works 🫶
"Reprieve" <- omfg this is some good smut that i honestly didn't know I needed til I found it!! 💜
@attention-bajoranworkers - on AO3 as beyond_antares
"Just this once (and then once again)" <- this is a gorgeous wip and it will continue to be gorgeous. Dukat smut, my beloved 💖
"Moments" <- such sweet Malcolm fluff 💙
@schn-tgai-scripted - on AO3 as SchntgaiScripted
"A Good Vulcan Husband" <- this fic has made SUCH A MESS OF ME (in a good way, obviously) 💚
"See A Need" <- this was the first Vorik fic I ever read and I will always recommend it. it has some smut, some feels...i love it 💛
"A Bad Vulcan Prophet" <- read the tags; I...I don't even...I just love it 🖤
@brokenblade-legendarycreature - on AO3 as BrokenBlade
"Exceptional Airs and Dances" <- MORE WIIIINEEE 🍷
"Make It Harder" <- I feel no shame for the copious amount of times I've read this particular Dukat smut 💖
"Spa Service (Relief)" <- I just...yep. 💜
@love-at-first-contact - on AO3 as Graphite_crumble
The entire "Gwemmer" series <- Hemmer and an OC being adorable af. what more could you want??? 🤍
The entire "Vorik and Juna" series <- this pair is just utterly precious. I love them 💛
"Together" <- Vorik/Reader/Taurik fic...omfg I just...I have so many feelings about this 👀
@shibonoku - on AO3 as Shibonoku
Literally any of their Vorik fics. they're just absolutely fabulous 💖
Also, any of their Solok fics 💙
itsthemirrorforme on AO3 (no idea if they have a tumblr tbh)
literally all of them. read the tags first, of course, but all of them!! 💜
WikkityTweak on AO3 (no idea if they have a tumblr)
"Holosuite Number 3" <- This is THE FIC that made me fall in love with Senator Letant 💚 the author mentioned a potential sequel, but they haven't updated since 2016, so...for now i'll simply savor this fic's existence.
"True Weakness" <- this is an awesome Solok fic 🖤
@eyes-of-the-fox - on AO3 as dhiamn_aehallhh
"Small Tales" <- these are gorgeous stories; the Soval/Forrest ones are my favorite 💙
Honestly, all of their Maxwell Forrest/Soval fics are gorgeous 🫶
@the-stags-cave - on AO3 as StagofRomulus - alternately find vem on Quotev here as Stag of Romulus
"Ahr'ehraet Hru'rhaarhno: Season 1" <- half Romulan McCoy!!!!!!! Also McCoy/Spock SCREEEEE 💜
Admittedly I haven't read all of ver works, but vey are such a great writer, I can't help but recommend literally all of those stories!!
#fic recs#deepspacedukat asks#anon asks#I'm sure I've forgotten some people but I tried to be thorough#please feel free to reblog with more recs if you have them!
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Year in fic review 2023
Total number of completed stories: 4, I finished Spare Parts in 2022, just finished posting in 2023.
Total word count: About 50 k (published, god knows how many words of unfinished WIPS and abandoned one-shots)
Fandoms written in: BBC Sherlock, I'm a one-trick pony these days ;-)
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?
Hm, I suppose less? And not the things I expected. I started writing a lot of long, plotty fics but apparently, it wasn't the year for long and plotty fics. I suppose I didn't have the brain space for long and plotty.
What’s your own favorite story of the year?
Probably Nothing Gold Can Stay, because I had this idea months and months ago, of John having a bit of a crisis before his wedding. I had this one piece of a core of a fic, the whole nucleus where John tells Sherlock nobody ever sticks with him, ever. And then I had three different fragments of fics trying to make it work, and every one had something amazing in it, but I just couldn't make it gel. And then I thought of the famous The thing you wanted to say, say it now, and the scene on the bench in TSOT, and bam, I had a fic. It came out in stops and starts of 200-word chunks, while John laboured with whether and how and when to trust enough, to have faith enough to actually say how he feels. I'm really proud of how it came out in the end, and I'm very happy you guys responded to it the way you did.
Did you take any writing risks this year?
I don't know about risks, but I wrote 31 ficlets in pretty much a month, which came out to 26000 words, and that was no mean feat. And I actually still like most of them. Gave me a bit of writers' burn-out, I won't lie, but what a ride!
Do you have any fanfic goals for the new year?
I want to finish my Christmas fic. I would like to re-visit the Nothing Gold boys because I think there's meat on these bones and I always wanted to do a series of shorter fics that hang together. So maybe I can do something with that. But last year was so stressful at work and I don't see this year going any better (we have three big conferences this summer, so it's probably going to be So Much Worse). So, I'll be grateful for what I can accomplish, and accept that it might not be everything I want.
Most popular story of the year?
Nothing Gold Can Stay for sure.
Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:
Hm, I got a lot of lovely feedback this year, so I generally feel loved and appreciated by fandom. My May ficlets especially got a lot of responses here on tumblr, and I loved that dynamic interchange between writing and reading and commeting, especially with the others who did the challenge.
If I had to pick one underappreciated story, my Spare Parts 'verse January 29th fic The Stars Walk Backward didn't get a lot of eyeballs, but it's understandable given that it's a one-shot in a 'verse that not that many people are famliar with in the first place. It's a bit of a stepchild of a 'verse, but I love it, and I love this story for its unabashed sentimentality. It's very sweet and very calm and has a lot of 'we're back together and I don't want to fuck this up again' energy. I love re-visiting this fic if I need a quick pick-me-up, so. You know.
Most fun story to write:
Most of the ficlets were fun to write, and Tipping Point was somehow the opposite of Nothing Gold Can Stay in that it came out in a big rush over four days, like a writing tsunami. But my Christmas fic is also super fun to write, I just hope I can sustain the fun and actually finish it.
Most unintentionally telling story:
Probably Nothing Gold Can Stay, I suppose. Grief is really complicated, and it's difficult to come to terms with the fact that you can sort of stumble into pockets of it, and that you sometimes grieve things that are technically still there but have changed a lot. Essentially, the story is about a John who has to stop running away from his grief and turn around and face it, and a Sherlock who sees that if he wants to truly get John back, he has to face it with him.
Biggest disappointment:
With myself for being unable to finish the many, many, many fics I've stared but didn't remotely finish. But also gracious to myself for letting life happen.
Biggest surprise:
Not surprise but gratitude for the love and support of this fandom. You guys are awesome. I'm so grateful whenever someone tells me that something I wrote made them Feel Something(TM). It's the greatest compliment a writer can receive, and I feel truly blessed that I heard this a fair bit this year. I write because it makes me happy, and if people reading my fics experience something similar, then that makes me even happier. So thank you, fandom.
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20 questions for fic writers
Tagged by @spotsandsocks, @bi-buckrights, @your-catfish-friend & @hippolotamus ❤️
How many works do you have on ao3?
7
What’s your total ao3 word count?
31,927
What fandoms do you write for?
911 and Druck. Hannibal and Criminal Minds I guess too since I have wips for them.
Top five fics by kudos:
emerald star in the sky 158 Kudos - Eddie decides to put Buck in his will
light surrounding you 156 Kudos - Buck comes out to Hen and Karen
bated breath 121 kudos - Vampire Buck
touch my heart (and let it rest) 117 kudos - Buck and Eddie talk about the shooting
I could take you 100 kudos - Eddie can’t stop thinking about Buck after the kitchen scene in season 3.
Do you respond to comments?
Yes unless I just don’t know how to lol
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Idk I tend not to write angsty endings.
What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Surprise party fic because of buddie proposal. I think maybe Buck’s coming out fic as well.
Do you get hate on fics?
No
Do you write smut?
Yeah, it’s not a lot though.
Craziest crossover?
I don’t really write crossovers. I don’t think my brain can handle it lmao
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
No
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not that I know of!
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, I just don’t think it would work very well considering how unpredictable my brain is
All time favourite ship?
Buddie for sure and Destiel too.
What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Spencer/Ethan fic. I need to focus so bad on it but my brain really jumps to the other wips first 😔
What are your writing strengths?
God I don’t even know. I feel like I can write emotions okay?
What are your writing weaknesses?
Finding momentum to write a lot or I’ll need to stop and think mid-writing 😐
Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
I probably wouldn’t write it myself mostly because my knowledge of it isn’t good. I don’t mind reading it though.
First fandom you wrote in?
Druck. It was Why’d you only call me when you’re high?
Favourite fic you’ve written?
Vampire Buck easily. I had so much fun with that and the world building in general. I will also say that the coming out fic for Buck is a favourite of mine too. I just love those two so much.
Tagging: @monsterrae1, @loserdiaz, @bidisasterevankinard, @prettyboybuckley, @rogerzsteven, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @m-y--p-a-s-s-i-o-n-s, @spookylostboy & @elvensorceress
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thanks @cha-melodius and @stereopticons for the tags! I know I’ve done this in the past, but it’s been a hot minute…
How many works do you have on ao3?
239!
What's your total ao3 word count?
822,937—but that’s a collaboration-boosted lie. Per my writing tracker, words that I have personally written and published on AO3 is 693,613
What fandoms do you write for?
Mostly RWRB these days, but the majority of my back catalogue is Schitt’s Creek, with a few others sprinkled in for fun. The Pairing definitely made my brain whirr… we’ll see.
Top five fics by kudos:
With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest), RWRB, 65.5k, the Much Ado About Nothing stage actor AU
Kinda think that I might be his type, RWRB, 12.8k, Alex and Bea fake date and Alex gets a little distracted by Bea’s brother
We were supposed to find this, RWRB, 3.3k, soulmate AU
We always walked a very thin line, Happiest Season, 2.7k, Riley character study/alternate ending
All the Lonely Starbucks Lovers, RWRB, 5.8k, barista Henry repeatedly putting his foot in his mouth in front of his coworker crush
(This is how I learned Puck It has been knocked out of my top five 😭)
Do you respond to comments?
Yes! And absent a Schitt’s Creek resurgence of some kind that sees me absolutely inundated I don’t see that changing.
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Five ways it could have ended (and one way it still could), Schitt’s Creek, 1.2k, for the love of god read the tags
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Like… most of them? I love to end on a good HEA haha. For sheer joy, though, it’s probably With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest)
Do you get hate on fics?
From time to time. I’m very free with the delete button. Weirdly, it occasionally pops up in the AO3 comments but mostly seems to come to me via anons on tumblr??? I have no idea why.
Do you write smut?
It’s been known to happen, I guess 👀
Craziest crossover:
I haven’t written any AO3-era crossovers! A few fusions/media AUs, but no crossovers.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope. I’ve only been asked once, and they wanted to post off AO3 which is a big heck nope for me (and my permissions statement has now been updated to reflect that)
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Heck yeah I have. I’ve done several anthology-type collaborations where we each wrote a chapter in a fic, and I’ve fully cowritten fics with @ships-to-sail several times. We have another collab coming up for @aroyallybigbangrwrb and I’m also cowriting The Big Secret AU with @indestructibleheart which is essentially us one-upping each other on emotionally devastating ideas until someone writes them down. Good system 😂
All time favorite ship?
Stop making pansexuals choose things.
What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Look, the chances of kinktober 2021 being finished at this point are slim 😂
Schitt’s Creek kinkverse… I don’t know. I have little snippets written of future fics and they’re great but… idk. Maybe I’ll write one vignette-y wrap up fic one day.
What are your writing strengths?
Narrative POV, dialogue that feels like the characters, epistolary bullshit, smut apparently.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Coming up with actual plot lmao. Visual descriptors — I’m not even remotely a visual person so I really really struggle with writing the sorts of things people can visualise. Also like… the passage of time? A scam.
Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
Love it. I’ll shoulder tap a fluent speaker if I need an actual sentence/anything Google isn’t super reliable for. Forever heartbroken that there are no fics in my second language in AO3 and no reason for me to be able to sprinkle it into my own writing (though one of the subscriber shindig prompts might be about to change that 👀)
First fandom you wrote in?
HP
Favorite fic you've written?
Stop! Asking! Pansexuals! To! Choose! Things!
I don’t know there are 239 of the bloody things 😂 I’m far more interested in what other people’s favourites are than what my own is!
I have no sense of who’s done this already so apologies if this is a double up but tagging @agame-writes @affectionatelyrs @anincompletelist @cricketnationrise @getmehighonmagic
@happiness-of-the-pursuit @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @indestructibleheart @inexplicablymine @nontoxic-writes
@read-and-write- @rmd-writes @sparklepocalypse @welcometololaland @whimsymanaged and, as always, anyone who wants to play!
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• how many characters are in your current wip?
• current fave fic?
• share a line from you fic that contains: year, open, flower, or tell :)
• what would your current wip get cancelled on twitter for?
here are the questions about your wips too because i need to know <3
Hi Gi welcome to the rawnsyf q&a section because I am legally banned from working on other stories until this chapter is posted <33
1. Oh gosh uh… 10 so far with speaking roles I think, 17 I believe, including people mentioned who don’t speak? That’s what you get when a work gets that long I guess 😭
2. That I’ve read or written? That’s honestly such a hard one I’ve read so many incredible amazing fics. I am currently in my @aqpippin obsession era and sleeping with strangers actively changed my entire life by being so good, you already know that the as of yet unpublished halldoll hanahaki WILL be on this list as soon as you finish it and let me see it 👀 and then of course I have to include the fic that inspired me to start writing and publishing my own drag race fanfic, no different from anywhere else (lovingly called bodyguard au by me). As for my own fic? I’m very proud of my newest one :) and I have a few things im working on in my brain that I’m excited to get onto paper
3.
Year- “oh my god, what are you, four years old? They’re olives, Anetra. Who hurt you? What kind of person doesn’t like olives?”
Open- Anetra seemed uncomfortable, looking around the room — at the posters in the wall, out the open window, anywhere but Marcia.
Flower- “There’s pepperoni on there, you delicate flower. Just pick off the olives before you eat it and you have your boring pepperoni pizza right there,” Marcia remarked.
Tell- “And for the record, you initiated everything. Every time. I have never pushed you to do anything you didn’t want to do, that you didn’t literally tell me you were sure you wanted to do.”
4. Homophobic main character for sure :)
#oh rawnsyf we’re really in it this time#I need to edit and post so I can write other things I s2g#I have like. 6 different things i really want to write#but noooo I have to finish this first#jk I’m excited#I just hate editing#oh pizza scene god bless you for giving me possible quotes for all 4 of these words#I did try to spread the love though. slightly#I did try to spread the love though. slightly.#anyways I’m gonna cram edit today and try to bully my beta into sending me more edits and then hopefully if I can be enough of a bitch#we can get it up by nye#no promises though I’m super busy tomorrow#ask#asks#my writing#rawnsyf#running away will never set you free#thecollectionsof#there was another luxx line I wanted to use for tell but alas#I wanted some drama#anyways hi I love you thanks for sending these :)#time 2 edit now that I’ve opened the document and have no excuse not to
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👩🏭 🌈 ( what usually inspires you to write all your fics?) 🧠🖊 👀 📥
Fanfic Ask Game Answers!
👩🏭 If one of your fics was going to get you arrested, which one and why?
Omigosh, huhhhhhh... My Genin!Hinata/Jonin-sensei!Naruto dubcon WIP, I guess? 😅 50-50 either stuff happens when she's 12yo or 14yo, but the part of me that's a coward and doesn't want to invite drama gonna shoot for when she's 14. 😅 12-13yos gonna be emotional manipulation stuff. 🤔
🌈 What inspired you to write all your fics?
The age regression sequence in The Last is solely at fault for my Age Difference obsession. Sometimes it's something I see, for example, "be the end of me" is only because I saw an Asian female customer with super long hair but most of it was bleached blonde. Or "Handsy" is because I saw yoga equipment. My brain just handles the rest. I get hit with a semitruck of narrative and it's a WIP! Soaking up online discussion or other people's fics help too. Sometimes I'll jinx myself in reverse and tell someone "I'm stuck, I don't know how to handle this part, it's sooo boring", and then something hits me after and it's kind of embarrassing because I have to tell them "Nevermind" and ugh. 😅 Songs, too ofc! So many songs! I have playlists and everything.
🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?
I answered this one with Wicker-Mayne's ask, but let me see if I don't have another. 🤔 Maybe my Shibari AU? I still have to read the rest of the book and taking notes will help me remember the material, so I really got to find the time and do that. But it shouldn't be a hard one to write. I have an old post with the 3 or 4 variations that I thought of before, but all-in-all, it's just hentai doujin material. Hinata and her Shibari Instructor or sShibari Partner, whichever one I choose to do.
🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP.
From Work Friends Chapter 3
She thought porn stars were supposed actors. Her previous co-star certainly was. The penetration was real. His hands on her body were real. But the angles weren’t for her benefit and his thrusts had been too shallow. Even with his decently sized cock, she felt like very little sex had ever occurred.
She thought she wouldn’t mind if the next five years of this went on like that. Even though the world would doubt her purity and consider her used goods, someone out there would know better. Someone out there wouldn’t find her disgusting. Because it was all just acting.
But this man. This man… She squeezed her thighs tighter together and nibbled on the hard lip of her water bottle.
God, were they done yet?
Menma was busy going over details with the director as they watched the playback together multiple times, sitting where she had been earlier, right behind the front passenger seat. He sat with one leg bent, his thick, muscled arm perched atop his knee, the other leg laying straight out. He took up twice the space she did, had to hunch beneath the ceiling when he stood up earlier, giving her a tantalizing show that made her mouth water.
She tipped her bottle back, taking a furtive sip of chilled water to clear the unrestrained insanity plaguing her imagination.
His commanding voice in her ear was going to haunt her dreams later, she was certain of it. That hungry aggression telling her to grab his cock. And he stained his sweats when she touched him. Was he really that aroused by her? Or was it something he was on? He’s old enough to need to pop blue little pills, but she doesn’t know much about them and how they work otherwise.
👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?
Only the WIPs inside my mind, lol. 🤭 I honestly don't have anything I've written that I'm too scared to post. If I'm writing it, I'm usually planning on posting it. 🙈 Any WIPs that are ancient or incomplete count, I suppose. And so far, I still haven't properly shared the entirety of "Kotatsu" something-something. It was a flash in the pan kind of thing and I just lost all motivation to clean it up. 😅
📥 What is your fave fic to receive comments/messages on?
All of them! 💖 But especially anything that's new, haha. I need that first chapter reception to feel like I'm good to move forward. 😁
Thank you so much for all the questions!
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4, 11 and 20 pleeease 🙏
4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?
i almost exclusively write RPF, and so my inspiration for fics comes, 99% of the time, from real-life interactions (which is why i have written so very much landoscar recently, because WOW is there a lot of inspiration). the sterling work of the gif-makers, rippers, and fandom archivists on here does a lot of the heavy lifting for me! for instance, i wrote tell me where it hurts and i’ll make it hurt better having never previously considered fernando alonso in a sexual light because of the post-podium photos and because, frankly, i had taken half a gram of MDMA the night previous and needed something to distract myself while my brain chemistry sorted itself out 🤷♂️
following neatly on from that, i also have an absolutely fetid little swamp brain and spend about 75% of any given day thinking about truly disgusting sex stuff, and fic is an outlet for that. often i’ll have ideas floating around my mind for a while before i get round to them or even decide on a pairing, for instance a lot like life which features boot worship and fisting, two kinks i’d wanted to write for ages.
i have a pretty big backlog of horrendous ideas: charles/pierre knifeplay! toto and susie have a terrible toxic threesome with george (not sure i can write this one without accidentally turning it into toto x susie x reader ngl) (it’s me, i am reader)! fernando/lando follow-up with added oscar! toto forces christian to choke him! free use bimbofication lando norris!
i also get inspiration from other writers! whether it’s the line in @lost-decade’s fic you will find me if you let go that inspired me to write born and raised for the job, or all the incredible rule 63 fics like ego death by @beechersnope, trade offer by anon, and first by @flawlessassholes that inspired me to write girl!lando.
11. Link your three favorite fics right now
oh man. just three???
AT THE MOMENT:
adagio by @theory81 - landoscar ballet AU! i don’t fuck with AUs very often but i’ve been waiting for a ballet AU in the F1 tag for a while and this is more than i could have hoped for. sweet, funny slowburn with a gorgeously camp, smart-dumb-brat lando POV.
jump right in by @strawberry-daiquiris - girl!lando/oscar WIP, theeeeee most perfect escapist slowburn, basically a shot of dopamine direct to the cerebral cortex. i finish every chapter grinning like an idiot.
climb up to your lips by @scenetocause - girl!oscar/lando WIP, soft femdom oscar, sweet and soft, feels like a slowburn even though they’re fucking increasingly nasty, perfect mixture of simping without being cloying, regularly melts my brain with the sex scenes.
god i could easily have made this a top ten this was HARD.
20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?
oh absolutely. i am but a simple goblin. most of my fics explore uneven power dynamics, wet and messy kinks, sadomasochistic leanings, or poor communication.
i use way too many adverbs (stuff like definitely, absolutely, probably) and I have to CTRL+F for “seem” and “feel” before i post anything because i will use them every other sentence if i don’t pay attention.
most of my fics are set in hotel rooms or cooldown rooms. you know that post about hotel rooms being the liminal space in which sublimated desires are realised in sports RPF? yeah, that. i also write a lot about food? i like planning little details about scenes, like what they’re eating and drinking, and i often research restaurants in the area i’m writing about.
thanks for asking anonnie!! 🤍
get to know your fic writer!
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wip ask game
I am many things and three of those things are humble, vain and contradictory. Anyways, that's me saying that I love doing this tag game any time I get the chance to play so thank you so much for the tag @reyesstrand ❤️
rules: post the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have wips
Alright, so my brain doesn't seem to ever want to stop so even though I've got a rolodex of work that needs my undivided attention, I still bring you even more new wips:
Carlos is a nanny AU (having a devil of a time trying to come up with a title for this one but oh my god I love it already)
stuck in your cruel melody
your brown eyes take me into sunrise (Two Night Stand AU)
the only girl he's ever loved (Drag Queen AU)
yesterday once more
the only girl he's ever loved
running in the shadows (1970s rock band AU)
let your love grow (Meet Ugly Plant Lovers AU) (thank you @welcometololaland)
cursed by the love that you receive
take a kiss without regret (Historical Pretty Woman AU) (thank you @strandnreyes)
and here's the litany of others that have been posted before: part one and part two
when i'm not being vein i'm being very nosy so i'm going to tag: @bonheur-cafe, @lightningboltreader, @strandnreyes (i saw your post earlier 👀), @carlos-tk, @carlos-in-glasses, @welcometololaland, @freneticfloetry, @orchidscript, @herefortarlos, @theghostofashton, and of course, leaving an open tag for anyone who wants to join in :)
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
I was tagged by @thefreakandthehair and @wynnyfryd You’re both so hot and cool and talented it’s unreal.
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
Fifteen
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
88,773
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Stranger Things
The only other fandom I’ve ever considered writing for is Good Omens, but I’m so obsessed with Steddie I don’t know if I can peel myself away.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1. Cut It Loose, Watch You Work The Room
2. I Like Playing Dumb Until You Figure Me Out
3. Tell Eddie He Looks Sexy With His Hair Pushed Back
4. All You Have Is Your Fire
5. Comb The Crowd, Pick You Out
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Abso-fucking-lutely I Do. Why? Because I am in shock and awe that anyone anywhere appreciated the goofy thing I wrote so much that they commented to tell me that. Thank you thank you thank you for commenting on fics. It means everything.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I’m incapable of not writing a happy ending. Happy Ending are GUARANTEED IN THIS HOME. However, Wynn noted I did write a bonus microfic that was posted to Tumblr only that was angsty. Fun fact: it was based off a very un-angsty IRL experience with Wynnyfryd herself.
‘If They Won’t Call You Wynny Baby, I Will.’
Anyway, read Drunk Words—Sober Thoughts if you wanna.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
All of…All of them I—yall you know my Steddies are so fucking in love with each other it’s stupid.
But Comb The Crowd, Pick You Out is especially cheese.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
No, and I’m blessed for that, but even if I did…all my buddies know how truly dedicated I am to the fact that We are responsible for our own online experience. Don’t let goofy goobers who have nothing better to do than put you down, get to you. If yall ever get hate and need someone to tell you you’re fucking worth it—cmere.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Me? Write Smut? Oh my god I could never—
Yall what haven’t I written, be so fucking for real.
Requests? Drop ‘Em in my Ask Box.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Nooo. I do not. Obviously I have a mess of a good omens X steddie AU rattling around in my brain, but it will never come to fruition
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
No, but where I largely write Rockstar dom daddy Eddie it’s very easy to see different variations of similar plot lines. Alas, Two Cakes
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No! But I would cry if one ever was.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No! My writing style is so chaotic I think anyone I wrote with would be shook and terrified. HOWEVER, I may have something coming with @steddieas-shegoes real fuckin’ soon.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
Steddie. My angels. The loves of my life.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Oh god. The first thing I ever started writing for Steddie was a Rockstar AU. Shocked looks from the lived audience. Where Steve and Robin moved to Chicago and Eddie covers Head Like a Hole by Nine Inch Nails. Fuckin’ Woof. May it rest in slutty slutty pieces.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Writing seventy two miles of really spicy foreplay…and dialogue 😂
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Some authors are so fucking incredible with imagery and beautiful descriptions of scenes and I just don’t think I’m one of them, but I would like to be one day.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I can barely speak English so I would never write a fic where Eddie speaks French when he fucks…
Anyway stream Tell Eddie He Looks Sexy
19. First fandom you wrote for?
That I published? Stranger Things.
That’s buried in the back of my closet, handwritten in a notebook? The Backstreet Boys.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
Kiss Your Knuckles (Before You Punch Me In The Face) It is everything to me.
Well that was fuckin’ fun as heck. Tagging with absolutely zero pressure a couple buddies 🖤
@messessentialist @steddieas-shegoes @just-my-latest-hyperfixation @aidaronan @sourw0lfs @t-boyeddie @scarcrossdlvrs @runninriot @cuips-not-cute @onirislanding @thisapplepielife
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Fic Writer Interview
I was tagged by @feralkwe
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
10 🙈
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
170,541
3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
He Thought Her Unsinkable (50)
Never Free (41)
Failed Attempts at Simpler Lives (24)
Ashes (12)
Torture Of Your Own Design (10)
4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I try to! I really can’t overstate how much I love and value every comment and how they make my day and really keep me going when I worry that no one’s interested, lol. I want the commenters to know that, even if sometimes all I can say is “thanks!” Because I can’t grab them by the shoulders and just shriek right in their face.
People engaging with my characters and ships and little situations is like… the point for me. It’s the DREAM, for real.
5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
Technically it’s the short Ashes, since that ends with Hawke dead and Anders and Justice gone. The one that makes me the saddest, though, is Strange Bedfellows. That fic spends more time getting to know the characters before destroying them.
6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
Never Free ends the most hopefully, I feel.
7. Do you write crossovers?
Nah.
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
No, which is the good part of focusing on niche content with OCs, lol. I may not rack up numbers but I also don’t get attention from the meanies.
9. Do you write smut?
Not really, but god I want to. I’ve put a grand total of like 2.3 smut-esque scenes in my stories, because I just chicken the hell out. I get SO self-conscious, and it just feels so bad lmao. No idea how to overcome this.
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge, and I can’t imagine anyone has. Another benefit of creating niche content.
11. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not that I’m aware of. That would be pretty cool though.
12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, but it’s something I’d be open to if the right circumstances came up. It seems pretty unlikely at this point in my fandom life, but you never know.
13. What's your all-time favorite ship?
I feel like the Simpsons’ “SAY THE LINE, BART!” meme right now because it’s obviously Carver Hawke/my Surana. You know, the only ship I ever write and talk about.
The only other ship I’ve been both feral and inspired enough to write about is Hawke/Alistair, so that ship gets second place.
Mind you, this is strictly from a “writing fanfic” perspective. I love lots of different ships, including multishipping for the above characters.
14. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
I don’t post many things so the only unfinished WIP (besides the one I’m currently working on) is my Hawkistair fic, He Thought Her Unsinkable, that I last updated in 2016. Two years ago I would have said it would stay unfinished forever, but now I DO have intentions of coming back to it. (I got thoroughly stuck with progressing both the plot and the ship and I’ve since thought up solutions for both.)
I’ll probably rewrite the whole thing though. There was a lot of room for improvement, and I cringe looking back.
15. What are your writing strengths?
This is hard for me because I’m so riddled with imposter syndrome and anxiety, but I think I do character dialogue well. I can hear voices very clearly in my head and it’s one of the few things my memory holds onto, so I fiddle with my lines until I can hear the character saying them in their cadence.
16. What are your writing weaknesses?
I struggle with descriptions for sure. Knowing how much or little to include, yes, but I also find myself just blanking out on descriptive words when I need them.
Me, desperately, to my own brain: We’ve seen a house before! I need words to describe a house!
Brain: I have never seen one of those before in my life.
17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
This is something where I try to stay pretty firmly in my lane, because I know it can be done poorly if you don’t know what you’re doing. And I do not, lol. If a character is speaking in another language, I just say that. I try to keep my usage of other languages to exclamations and terms of endearment if they come up naturally.
18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
I wrote Animorphs fanfic on an old typewriter at my dad’s office when I had to be there after school as a kid and then later on some little word processor software for kids that looked like you were typing in a little book. (I’ve been desperately trying to figure out what 1990s software this could have been to no avail, for nostalgia’s sake.) I made some kind of human/Hork-Bajir hybrid OC that was basically like Wolverine with the badass retracting blades in her skin.
19. What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?
I only like writing fic when I have BIG AND SPECIFIC IDEAS that grab me, and that only comes with being incredibly hyperfixated on the source material until I’m comfortable with the setting… so basically I’m very content in my Dragon Age sandbox and don’t have much desire to branch out. That said, I do love my Dark Urge from Baldur’s Gate 3 and am very tempted to write about her someday.
20. What's your favorite fic you've written?
I think I’ll have to go with Never Free. Failed Attempts at Simpler Lives has more character interactions that I deeply enjoyed writing, but I’m really proud of the plot I wove together in Never Free.
Tagging @theluckywizard @rakshadow @inquisimer @nirikeehan and anybody who thinks it looks fun!
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twenty questions for fic writers
@makesometime tagged me. Complain to her. Now you have to suffer.
1. How many works do you have on AO3? I have 40. Which shocks me. Gun to my head, I couldn’t have told you about more than 15 of them. So that’s a surprise.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 187,262.
3. What fandoms do you write for? I have what one would call idiot-brain. I can only focus on one fandom at a time. I come and go at the whims of my hyper-fixation. I’ve written one fic for a lot of fandoms.
1) Baldur’s Gate (The new hotness. My love. My dear one. My rotten soldier).
2) Final Fantasy XV
3) Fallout 4 (Nick, my beloved)
4) Avatar: The Last Airbender (Baffling)
5) Persona 5
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
1) Personal Space: Cloud/Aerith at 748
2) Law and Order: Nick/Sole Survivor 649
3) Cigarette Day Dreams: Nick/Sole 571
4) Some Old/Something New: Nick/Sole 412
5: A Splash of Color: Cloud/Aerith 386
My top five is dominated by Nick and Cloud/Aerith, hahah. But, with a little work, we can frikkin’ shove the Raphael fics up there and dethrone the robot silver fox and the babies. Love my niche ass pairings.
5. Do you respond to comments? Almost always, yes. It’s fun to engage.
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending: /stares in one-shot. Uh. Maybe Ash and Ember? It’s more bittersweet than angst, but it’s still the end of Dark Souls 3. So it’s going to be sad.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending: Chance. It’s a short one for Full Metal Alchemist. Hohenheim comes back and Trisha doesn’t die.
8. Do you get hate on fics: I’m very lucky. I’ve never received hate on Ao3 or here on Tumblr. This is not an invitation to start though, I swear to god.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do write smut. It’s not my favorite thing to do, and I think it’s one of my weaknesses. I’ve done some kink stuff, but don’t post most of it. That might change. Thanks, Ascended Fiend Raphael.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Not posted. I do have an Avatar/Westworld fic on Ao3, which is a batty combo.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not directly. Pretty sure I’ve inspired some fandom trends before, but like. I write in very small corners of fandom. We share one dumb brain.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I have, yes. A Dreamless Sleep was translated into Russian.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I’ve collaborated and had shared universes, but don’t think I’ve directly co-written. I’m a control freak.
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? I don’t frikkin know, dude. I like a lot of ships. Currently, it’s Raphael/Durge or Raphael/Haarlep/Durge. All time? Zero clue.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Doing It to Death will never be finished lol. I look at it and my soul hurts for Evelyn, but it ain’t happening. I have other WIP's on Ao3 and they will never be finished either, but like. I don't care about them.
16. What are your writing strengths? I like to think it’s my characterization. Maybe scene setting or dialogue. I don’t know. I hate my writing 99% of the time. Like, I need enough time apart from the work. Once I’ve forgotten it’s mine, I can appreciate it a little more.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? Pacing and plot. And smut. Pacing long-form fanfiction absolutely baffles me, just because it differs from the pacing of a traditional novel. It’s really challenging to balance, and I have no idea how to do it.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I don’t have a problem with it, but probably wouldn’t risk it. Maybe if someone else handled the translation?
19. First fandom you wrote for? The Mummy, haha. I was 14.
20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written? UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I’ll do. Three.
1: Sex, Love, & the Infinite Void: Raph/Durge. It’s the longest story I have on Ao3, and the only multichapter one that’s made it passed chapter 2. And I’ve enjoyed hell politics and character building. I want to finish this damn thing.
2: The Outsider: Evelyn/Corpo!V. I love Evelyn, and it was fun to experiment with a more cybernoir writing style.
3: I Don’t Think About You Anymore: Raph/Tav. It was just a fun and clipped style to write. It was very loose, free, and I’m proud of the end result.
I'll tag @kiss-inferna and @adarlingmess if they'd like to suffer this.
#my writing#Most of my garbage is kept in a dark googledrive#where it will never see the light of day
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