#getting told it's just in my head and that if i exercise it'll stop hurts | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chocolatemilksmoothie · 2 years

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Labyrinth Runners

Omg I loved this one!! buckle up, there's a lot of little details and a lot to point out

I suspected we might not get an update on Luz and the rest of the owl house members and the suspense there is killing me ngl...

I can already see it, both groups meet and both are like "we have SO much to tell you you're not gonna believe this-"

anyways, baby Willow and baby Gus my beloveds

I love their relationship. they were there for each other before anyone else was, and you can see how deeply they care for one another

Gus is a scary good illusionist, it must be frightening to have that happen

ahh good ol' breathing exercises, always worth a shot

I ADORE that Bump allows more kids to try multi track magic, and Matt got into illusion magic! aww

Among Luz's messages was "don't scare him(them?) away" I think she was referring to Hunter. it's sweet she took the time to write that, but god I hope she's safe

the hearts they are adorable <3

I enjoyed Willow and Amity's plot as well! Amity trying to protect her because he values having her back vs Willow wanting her to see that she is strong and can fight alongside her!

he's been reading about Grimwalkers... oh buddy what have you learned?

it's both sweet and heartbreaking that 1) he thought of hexside as a safe place to hide and 2) he's wearing the Flyer Derby outfit. he really had a good time being a normal kid for a day :')

Adrian. I like his style but I did NOT buy his act. How horrifying that he was tricking students into getting sigils by pretending he was helping them not get sigils. messed up

they really made him a pretentious director. I love it. both he and Terra are scary and full of personality, very fun antagonists to see

Love his design also. Everything about it

Severine... is voiced by Dana right? she was hilarious, go back to the tiny cat coven girl they don't deserve u here

Loved the concept of a trippy labyrinth of familiar places too

throw yourself down the steps to see if they're real, flawless technique

once again Hunter parallels another character. Gus is trusting by nature, which has led to him getting hurt, while Hunter grew up in a competitive, hostile environment where the only person he trusted blindly ended up being a monster. He is being extra cautious. But Gus won't hurt him

God, Belos sent a search party and is pretending like he's all worried. he hasn't told anyone he ran away. but we know what'll happen if he goes back to the castle *shudders*

the acting and animation for the panic attack, the breathing and the hesitation were done with a lot of care. I also like that it's in "Gus' room"

I love Gus I love him lots ok

the banned posters I love my children lmao

HIGH FIVE

I'm so happy Hunter still calls Willow "captain" he respects her a ton

and again, it makes sense he noticed she wasn't the real one. Gus is trusting, and Willow has never taken advantage of his trust, while Hunter is super on edge atm

"put him-" "out of his misery? got it" jesus dude he just kicked you

HIS TEAMMATES SAVED HIM

"dude looks sickly" yeah he's been sleep deprived and mentally abused and probably not eating much it'll do that to ya

oh I love this little ragtag team of rebel witches (+ Gus of course)

Adrien wants to find the Galderstones for Belos. Funny, pretty sure that's an ingredient for a certain thing hmmm ever heard of Grimwalkers?

"in the name of the moon we will kick your ass!"

Gus' ability to make you see traumatic memories is messed up. Dana stop traumatizing the children challenge

Hunter and Gus bonding about how they've been deceived and used. and awww the breathing with whistling ahaha is this because of the tooth gap because same

GUS KEPT THE MIRROR THINGY YES

"what... is... this??" "just go with it" my heart

friends will hug you even if you haven't showered

the Illusion coven head got MESSED UP oh my god

Barcus cracks me up he's so well spoken

and we end with Hunter having a LOT to talk about, but also having a large group of people to support and watch out for him

I suspect they're all gonna start preparing to find Luz and the others and to stop Belos in the Day of Unity ohhhohoho I feel DREAD BABEYYY

this was a dense one, and the first episode without Luz in it. I expect next week we'll catch up with them, especially King, and hopefully by the end of next ep both teams meet up to prepare together...

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incorrectgallaghergirlsquotes · 3 months

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for the spotify wrapped thing: 21

also i wanted to say ive been following your series for 2 years now and i love your writing

You are so kind for saying that, thank you so much! I promise there will be updates soon. I'm working on making them perfect for you!

Song 21: Is It Over Now? by Taylor Swift (Two people requested this. There will be another one for this lol)

MACEY MCHENRY'S PRIVATE JET DEPARTS LONDON IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

It was hard to say what was worse. Leaving your boyfriend in the dead of night or arriving back at your place to see the roses he'd gotten you still in their vase on your bedside table.

Macey decided it was the roses and threw her bag at them. The vase toppled to the floor taking the wilted petals of last weeks flowers down with it. A lot could happen in a week, Macey realized as she stared at the mix of roses and broken glass that now littered the floor.

She ignored the mess she'd made and simply crawled into bed, still in her clothes, and slept alone.

INSIDE LOOK AT MACEY MCHENRY'S INTIMATE COFFEE DATE AMID PRESTON WINTERS SPLIT

Honestly, Macey didn't know why she bothered with the sun hats and glasses when she went out. As if those were enough to make her not Macey McHenry. The sunglasses did at least help with all the camera flashes being sent her way. She pulled the visor in the car down immediately for added protection once she got in the car.

"Worth it?" Cammie asked from the drivers seat. She looked similar to Macey with the hat and glasses combo. Her visor was also already down.

"A girls gotta live her life," Macey said as they peeled away from the people and the cameras. "I haven't been able to get a coffee in peace since 2012."

"Cut to 300 takeout coffees later," Cammie teased, eyeing the cup in her friends hand.

Macey shrugged again. "This is my life. Think of it like a training exercise. You wanna see me? Get coffee with me?" she tapped the tinted glass of the window that separated them from the paparazzi. "They come too. I don't like it, but it is what it is."

Cammie shook her head, but a smile was still on her face. "I don't envy you," she glanced over at Macey before looking back at the road. "Have you talked to him?"

Macey scoffed. "No. Why should I?"

"I didn't say you should." Cammie tapped her fingers on the steering wheel as the idled at a red light. "But, you know, you did tell me last week you saw his face on our waiter when we had girls night."

"Yeah, after I had two margaritas the size of my head," Macey defended. "How is it my fault all men look the same?"

"He was a ginger."

"And Preston's hair is a light brown with reddish undertones."

Cammie raised her eyebrows and looked off to the side. Neither of them said anything for a moment. The next thing to break through the silence was both of their phones buzzing. Macey pulled hers out, letting Cammie drive. Sure enough, it was the group chat they were both in. Liz had sent a link to an article with a headline prominently displayed in the preview.

DETAILS EMERGE OF MACEY MCHENRY AND PRESTON WINTER'S SNOWY VACATION TURNED DARK JUST WEEKS BEFORE SPLIT

Macey groaned. "Seriously? Even in the title they acknowledge that was weeks ago. How is this news?"

Cammie shrugged one shoulder. "It'll get clicks. People are nosy." Macey grumbled to herself in response. "What," Cammie started hesitantly. "What happened out there? You never told us."

"Nothing," Macey said, arms crossed in her seat. "He had an accident while we were skiing. He stopped himself too soon and the momentum made him lurch and he got hurt," there was no masking the concern that bled into Macey's voice as she recounted the incident. "You know, red blood on white snow is kind of jarring. He was fine though. He only needed a few stitches."

There was a beat. Then, Cammie said, quietly, "That sounds scary."

Macey slunk down in her seat. "Yeah."

PRESTON WINTERS NEW GIRL? STORY BEHIND THE PICTURES OF THEIR LATE NIGHT RENDEZVOUS

Bex: I'll kill him

Bex: Also since when is he into blondes?

Cammie: Well she's got the blue eyes

Bex: I'LL KILL HIM

Liz: Already scrubbing evidence of these texts existing in case it's necessary

Macey's phone kept buzzing, but she kept ignoring it in favor of staring at the man in front of her. Her friends were halfway around the world in another time zone. They had no idea what she was doing and had no means of stopping her. And it was better that way.

Preston was sitting in the lounge chair, his chin resting in his hand as he glared at the tabloid Macey had just deposited on the coffee table. She stood across from him waiting, daring him to respond.

"Macey-," he said at last.

"Did you think I didn't see you?" She cut him off. He turned his mouth back into his hand. Clearly he hadn't known where to take the conversation. Meanwhile, she had some ideas. "Did you really think I wouldn't? Even without all the flashing lights have you forgotten who I am? Have you forgotten who my friends are?"

"I didn't think you cared," he said, turning to face her. He dropped his hand, folding them both in his lap. "You left, remember? Called me a 'lying traitor', wasn't that right?"

"Seems like it stuck with you so I guess so," she said. "If the shoe fits."

"We were broken up," Preston defended. "It was over."

"Was it?" Macey asked, incredulously. "Was it over when you laid her out on your couch?" she gestured to the furniture piece in question, in the very room they were in. Preston didn't ask who, he didn't need to. Which was perhaps the most incriminating piece of it. "Was it over when I let him take me home? Unbutton my blouse? Take me to his room?"

Preston stood up then, turning away from her.

"Because if it was over, you don't get to be upset!" She said, voice raising. But Preston didn't walk away, just stopped with his back to her. She watched him exhale, the air and tension leaving his body.

"So you admit," he started. His tone was measured, trying to reign himself in no doubt. "You did it, too. You've seen other people."

Macey probably would have rolled her eyes, maybe he thought she did. But she took advantage of him not looking at her and bit her tongue instead, trying to hold back her frustration instead of hiding it. "Of course. The difference is," she continued, venom seeping into her words, "At least I had the decency to keep my nights out of sight!"

Preston scoffed and turned back. "Yeah, right. You've been out for coffee not half a million times."

"Coffee," Macey emphasized. "I kept my nights to myself. Sure, I can't stop rumors about them, but all the whispers and speculation about my hips and sighs was just that. They weren't pictures," she grabbed the tabloid off the table and shoved it in his face. "On the front page of every paper!"

"I don't need to see pictures of you with some guy to feel hurt!" Preston yelled, knocking the paper out of her hand. The pages fluttered around the room, ending up scattered all over the floor.

"Oh, really?"

"I don't give a shit about some guys you see! That wasn't nearly as bad as the pictures and headlines of you leaving me!" He stared into her eyes, and she could see him willing himself to calm down. Or maybe his next thought took the steam out of him. "Do you know how many times I saw the picture of you in that blue dress, all alone, on that boat?"

"I'm sure," Macey said, because she was. It seemed the paparazzi had gotten one singular photo of her that day and it was everywhere. That one photo was dissected across every social media platform, every comments section, every headline.

MACEY MCHENRY SEEN LEAVING ISLAND VACATION WITH PRESTON WINTERS ALONE MERE HOURS AFTER ARRIVING

"Whose fault was that, though?" she questioned. Preston's shoulders sagged under the weight of her statement, but Macey didn't feel any sense of victory as she crossed her arms at him. "Has your new girl realized yet that she's a clone of me?"

Where someone else would defend themselves and their partner and throw out statements like, 'no she doesn't' or 'that was unintentional', Preston said nothing. Macey felt her anger flare up again. "Because it doesn't actually matter, really. The vast majority of her looks. At this point it's safe to surmise that if she'd got blue eyes, you'll date her. And, you know what, really Preston, how is that going? You've searched every models bed at this point. Did you find something greater?"

"No."

"Something better than me?"

"No!" Preston closed the minimal space that was left between them, putting them practically nose to nose. His hands were gripping her arms, tightly at first and then quickly relaxed their hold. He was staring into her eyes and Macey made the grave mistake of glancing down at his lips. One of his hands traveled up to cup her face and bring it even closer to his. He ran his thumb across her cheek to the corner of her mouth. He brushed it over her bottom lip, drawing it into somewhat of a pout.

"I keep dreaming about you," he whispered. "It's not that I keep seeing you, but I know it's you. It's your voice and your lips whispering for me to 'come here'. To come to you. And I want to. Before you called me a lying traitor. And now, after."

Macey inhaled. She saw two options in front of herself. One was give in to the magnetic pull she felt every time they were together and continue this back and forth, song and dance they did. The other was admit something herself. She wasn't sure which one would do the most damage to her.

"Twenty stitches," she said, pulling back and looking in his eyes. "That's how many stitches you got after the accident. And I was with you the whole time. You had my undivided attention." Preston was looking at her longingly, imploringly, as she spoke. "And I keep thinking about jumping. Off of very tall... somethings," she watched his eyes search hers. "Just to see you come running. To see if you would."

"I would," he said. "I'd run to you, of course I would."

"But you don't!" Macey yelled, breaking away from his hold. "I keep hoping you'd be there! And you'd say everything I want you to, but you don't!"

"You don't give me a chance!"

"We've broken up countless times! Each of those was a chance! You don't take it! I do! I always come back!"

"Well, why don't you stop leaving!"

"Why don't you make me wanna stay?" Macey's question came out at the same volume they had been arguing at. But the silence that followed made it ring as if it had been much louder. The silence itself was loud.

This was the part where they were supposed to just fall into one another, fall into Preston's bed, and give it another try for another few weeks. But he couldn't come up with anything to say in response to her. And he really looked like he wanted to say something. Macey wanted him to say anything.

But the silence stretched on.

"Was it over?" Macey asked, referencing the earlier part of their argument.

He looked at her. "Is it over now?"

#gallagher girls #gallagher girls series #gg fanfic #gg spotify wrapped #macey mchenry #preston winters #cammie morgan #bex baxter #liz sutton

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growandrecover · 5 months

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hi,

im really scared bc im officially ✨overweight✨ and my ed has just been #triggered. any tips on how to avoid relapse?

Hey, anon.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I'm really proud of you for reaching out and actively trying to avoid relapse. That's wonderful.

First up, if you can, stop weighing yourself, measuring, body checking, or anything else you may be doing. Your weight does not say anything about you. Absolutely nothing. If you're concerned about your BMI specifically (which I know a lot of people with eds get caught up in), it's all a bunch of garbage. It was made based off of cis white men, and does not take muscle mass into consideration. Even if you happen to be a white amab person, it's still a joke. If you can't stop completely, try to limit what you're doing.

Next, please make sure you're eating all your meals and snacks. My therapist has told me to do this, and I'm passing along the information to you guys. If you have to, set a schedule for yourself and stick to it with the best of your ability.

If you're someone who used exercise to lose weight in the past/if you exercise currently, you may want to lay off that until you're in a better headspace. Going along with this, if you wear a Fitbit or Apple Watch of any kind, taking it off may help avoiding triggers like your daily step count, calories burned, and your other exercise levels. I wore one for almost a year and took it off a few months ago. Surprisingly enough, my quick dips back into some of my ed behaviors have stopped. I finally realized that those triggers sitting on my wrist 24/7 had been messing with my head.

If you're able to/not already, get an adequate amount of sleep. I think we all know what happens when we stay up too late, letting our minds wander into our ed thoughts in the middle of the night. Low levels of sleep interfere with our mental health, which, in times like these, needs to be extra nurtured.

Try to look at it from someone else's point of view. If someone you knew came to you with this exact problem, what would you say? Would you want them to be kind to their body, to fuel it, and to take care of it? Probably, right? Or if that's hard for you to say to yourself, wouldn't you just want them to be free of their eating disorder?

This is pretty harsh, but your ed is trying to hurt you. It's trying to kill you. Whatever it needs to say to get you to engage in those behaviors, it will. It'll tell you that you're not as [adjective of your choice] or [another adjective of your choice] when you weigh more than you have in the past, but that's simply not true. As I said earlier, your weight is just a number. You deserve recovery. You deserve happiness. You deserve a life free of food rules and that nasty voice in your head.

If you're scared, I'm here to tell you: your ed will not fix anything. Losing weight will not fix the idea of yourself you have in your head, and won't make you magically like your body more. It wants you to think it will, but it won't. It only makes your life worse.

Something that helps me is looking at recovery posts on Pinterest or Tumblr. I love being able to see other people's thoughts and encouragement. It always inspires me to keep going, and I hope it'll do the same for you, too.

Whatever it is that triggered you is not worth all the pain and suffering that comes with an ed. I don't care if it was something somebody said or just a thought you had. Nothing is worth going back to your ed.

You can do this. I believe in you.

I really hope this was at least a little bit helpful, and I hope you're okay, anon. If you're not right now, you will be.

If I missed something, or you need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message! ♡

#asks

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ezorzea · 2 years

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babbling to the void

It's been almost two years since one of the shitter times in my life and I've gone through the therapizing, the medications, the breathing exercises, etc, but I cannot for the life of me find peace with it. It's been years. I haven't been able to talk to people since. I can't make friends. I'm paranoid. And I bring these things up during therapy time but I don't get anywhere with it. Early on in the healing process, I told myself I wouldn't dawdle on the silly stuff like anger or self-pity or anything like that but now I'm in the late stages where my grief has morphed into the seven-headed beast that slithers into my dreams and reminds me that I will never be able to trust people again.

Slightly off topic but after my friend died in 2017 I used to have dreams about her (this only stopped within the last year or so) where I would find her on the street, or at school, or she'd post something new on Instagram or something.. I'd wake up thinking she was still alive and then I'd relive her death all over again. This was multiple times a week. They weren't nightmares but they hurt me all the same. Anyway I finally stopped having those dreams after her brother died, and now that I don't dream about her anymore it feels like she died again. This isn't really important to the above stuff but it ties into why I can't heal from the above in some way, but I haven't quite figured it out yet.

I started having dreams about that situation too, and in the dreams of course everything is solved with a hug and an "I love you stop doing this to me we loved each other just remember already". These used to come to me every night, and slowly they've come to a close, but maybe once every other week or so I'll dwell on a memory for too long and it'll come to visit me when I fall asleep. Always painful. Always makes me want to die.

So mid 2021 I started smoking a LOT of weed LOL and that took the edge off of this. It still does. It kills my dreams too. It starts getting loud in my head and it's like yeah I just need to get high so I can forget about all of this. But after a year of smoking constantly to forget now I... can't really remember anything at all. My memory of the past 2 years is hazy. It wasn't even a bad two years. I just can't remember any of it. I feel like a shell of myself and I know that's just what continual heavy drug use does but if I don't do the drugs then I have to think and if I have to think then all I'm going to think about is abandonment, betrayal, heartbreak and killing myself. Like come on man. I'm 24. This should be over by now

I'm too old, too kind, too sweet, and too loveable to feel like this anymore. It's not kind to ezra to think about hurting myself. But I do. And ezra loves it, I love it, we love it together, we fantasize about going on the journey together, but I also made a promise early into this that I wouldn't hurt myself over this. Kinda failed that one. Drug use isn't not self harm. i don't know. heavy and loud and sad and empty inside of me sometimes.

Wish I knew if learning to hate these people would fix me. But the only person I've ever truly hated is my mother and after she died and I began to piece together that I never held anything for her besides contempt, it's made it harder to hate others. I can't hate anyone like I hated her. I can't even get close. I don't hate the people that abused me. I don't even hate my dad. Just her. Wish I could hate more so I could feel less.

So many people have tried to befriend me since this too and I've failed every single one of them. Every time I don't respond to a DM I feel so fucking guilty it could swallow me. It's just so hard to approach people now. I'm all twisted up and weird. Overall very happy though. just still drowning. lonely. everyone I loved died and then the rest of them turned on me over shit that was out of my control. It's 2 years later. I do have new people in my life. people that treat me right. and I do love them. why is that not enough? what's missing? what's wrong with me

#yeah you dont gotta read this

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woobieiscool2 · 2 years

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9/16/22

I don't even know

I'm tired, physically and mentally. I don't know how much more I can take. I know there are different ways to increase my endorphins, my happiness, but I'm scared it'll feel artificial. Feeling ignored is such a sad feeling. It's been crushing me so terribly. I can't stop thinking about it. I've talked to two of my closest friends about it. I've mentioned your name and told them how I felt. I'm so sad. I know I shouldn't say that because it only makes me sink more, but I can't see a way back up. The laughs are getting more and more rare. I spend so much time in bed, always the same spot. Kissing you over and over in my head.

I'm physically in terrible shape again, I feel horrible. I don't like the way I look in my clothes. I had an outfit chosen for weeks, and I didn't end up wearing it because I looked in the mirror.

I was so attentive on the road looking for you. I told one of my friends that I know I'd never see you again. Even then, no matter where I am, I replay my reaction to seeing you over and over in my head. I don't know if I'd smile, or be sad, maybe even angry? But I'm not mad at you. More and more it feels like you'd just look past me, or look the other way. The crushing feeling that would bring isn't something I want to go through. Half the times we walk away happy in my head. The other half I don't get too far into the future, because it's probably closer to reality anyway.

I don't want to bring people down. It's harder and harder every day to put on this facade.

I miss you so much. I miss love so much. All I do is wish for happiness, but I have no idea how to work at it.

I don't want to go out and sit at a bar alone. I'd just come back home alone and feel shaky the next day, and kill the next day by feeling horrible.

I know I need help. I know I need exercise. I know I'm not doing anything. I know I'm only hurting myself. But I can't move. I can't bring myself to do or think about anything else. I just sit and wait, but I never know for what. Maybe it's that "big cry" that I feel would finally leave it all out.

I hate the way I feel.

Where would you be? What would you do? What do you do? What should I do?

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iplaywithstring · 3 years

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I'm still thinking about how culture/medical advice defaults to "do more exercise/activity" and how harmful that is to people with exercise intolerance or any condition that requires limiting activity. It's hard to get able bodied people (including medical professionals) to understand that being active makes it worse. It's also so hard on so many chronically ill people because it's a constant reminder of what we can't do. I've never been super fit. I grew up with really bad asthma and spent most of my life obese. Still, for most of my life I didn't think twice about walking 5-10 km any time I wanted. 5km to a friend's house in high school. 6km to the restaurant across town in university. 10km hike on the weekend. Plus working retail and standing all day. Plus going for hour long walks just because I wanted to. I had a remission from my ME/CFS after the first year. I recovered well enough that I was almost back to "normal" - well enough that I was bored. I took up weightlifting. I loved it. It was good for my mental health and my body image and I felt like a badass. I would lift 2-3 times a week AND walk 5km 3 times a week and I worked a part time job on my feet. Until I couldn't. Until I skipped walking on work days or had to call in sick every other week. I had to stop lifting because sometimes I'd fail thon my warmup. It wasn't safe to keep trying. I stopped working. I told my doctor that sometimes when I was walking I had to stop halfway through or it was really hard to make it home sometimes. She told me to switch to shorter walks. It was the right advice, but it hurt. It still hurts. I want to do so many things, and I can't. It's not safe for me. But then family and friends and culture and everyone who isn't my doctor tells me to try and just do a little more. It'll feel good. And yeah, as I'm doing it, it does often feel good. But then after, I pay for it. It hurts. I am constantly pushing against the edge of my limits. I am always doing as much as I think I can, and often I pay for it later. It's so hard for me to relax or to rest or to not do any activity, because there's always this voice in my head telling me it's good for me - maybe I am just lazy. Maybe I do just need to work on my endurance. Maybe it will get better. My baseline - the amount of activity I can do on a regular basis - has lowered over the years because of times I have pushed myself. It's literally harmful, and I know it, and I still end up pushing. Because I want to be normal, or be social, or fight back the voice in my head that I'm not doing enough. I just wish people understood how hard it is for us to manage going through life like this.

#this is my life #chronic illness #me/cfs #chronic fatigue syndrome #understanding my limits

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imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl · 3 years

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White Lies (Pt. 10 of 21)

Pairing: Keanu Reeves X Reader

Word count: 2.5 K

Summary: Keanu found the girl almost dead, in the wrecks of what was once her car. While she was in surgery, stuck in a coma, he gathered the best doctors of New York to attend to her. They told him she is likely to have some kind of brain damage, what may lead to memory loss. And this possibility added up wit the fact that she's pregnant, made the council come up with an odd idea. They asked Keanu to pretend to be her husband, since the stress of finding out everything that happened could put the baby in danger. He reluctantly agreed, but only if she does has some kind of memory loss. He still goes she'll wake up soon, with her memories intact.

But when you finally wake up, there's nothing inside. You're quick to find your head is empty, void, like a blank canvas. The only thing that brings you some relief, that makes you feel less lonely is the mention of a husband. And you can't wait to meet him, because you know you can't deal with this by yourself.

<- Previous part (09)

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{Keanu Reeves Masterlist}

{John Wick Masterlist}

Candle Lights

Keanu is driving back home after your third antenatal class. You enjoy them, but most of the things they say you already know. But it's not their fault you and Keanu do a lot of reading and research, and your doctors keep you updated. But you want to keep going.

“I'm thinking about a cesarian.” You tell Keanu, both hands cupping your bump.

“What?” He glances at you, and his face makes you giggle. “You have to be kidding me.”

“Why?” You ask, stretching your arm to touch the back of his neck.

“Because labor is something natural. Your body knows what to do.”

“Yeah, it just hurts like a bitch.” You snap back, playing with his hair.

“I know.” He sighs. “It's your call. You're the one delivering the baby.”

“I'm not sure yet. But we still have time.” You're currently in the middle of week 18. You feel more comfortable, and you have more energy now. The bump already shows depending on what you wear, but there's still a long way to go. “And we need to talk names, by the way.”

“I thought we decided on Clarissa or Henry.”

“Yeah, but we gotta be one hundred percent sure. Are you one hundred percent sure?”

“Now that you're talking about it, no.” Keanu giggles, a hand coming to lay on your thigh. “What were the other options?”

“Sophie, Nicole, Ethan, and Liam.” You recite them, looking at the landscape outside your window.

“They're all great. But... Liam. I like Liam. Or Sophie.” He takes a turn left, entering the condo.

“I like them too.” It's always like this. Whenever you bring this up, you just can't decide. “Maybe it'll get easier once we know the sex. Because we're clueless so far.”

“Do you want one of those parties where the sex is revealed?”

“No. It's not like I'd know the guests so...” Pushing this thought back before it starts bothering you, you sigh. “Let's just keep it between us. The rest of the world will find out eventually, but let it happen when it happens.”

“Alright.” As he slows down and stops to wait for the garage door to open, you see Mrs. Jackson walking to her front door. She spots you and waves. You immediately remember the amazing brownies she makes, and you suddenly need it.

“I'll go say hi.” You tell Keanu before leaning for a kiss and stepping out of the car.

Mrs. Jackson is a kind old lady who lives with her husband in the house on the left. When she sees you coming her way she stops, smiling. “Hello, (Y/N). Good morning.” Her long white hair is being blown by the wind, and she keeps it off her face with a hand.

“Good morning, Mrs. Jackson. How are you today?” Smiling, you hug her.

“You can call me Anne, child, it's alright.” She immediately touches your belly. “And how is this tiny little human? Are you eating well, honey? Exercising?” She raises an eyebrow, tilting her head at your house. “Is your husband taking good care of you?”

“Yes, yes, and yes.” Giggling, and blushing a little, you nod. “I have weekly appointments with my nutritionist, Keanu and I take a walk every morning around the neighborhood and he's being absolutely amazing.” You say with a sigh, your heart beating a little faster just at the mention of him.

“Are you falling for him?” With both hands on her hip, Mrs. Jackson inquires, a funny expression on her face. She knows about the accident since she has become a friend of yours.

“I am.” You mutter, biting your lip.

“That's true, genuine love, sweetie. Even after forgetting him, you're falling for him all over again.” She has a teasing look on her face that makes you blush even more.

“Yeah, I guess you can say that. In the beginning, I really thought we'd end up divorced.”

“Honey, you don't know the way Keanu looks at you.” She shakes her head no, taking your arms and pulling you to a seat on the steps that lead to her porch. “When you came for dinner earlier this week, I could see it clearly. He looks at you like you're his whole world.” Running a hand through your hair, you look down. “That man loves you with all his heart, I have no doubt.” She puts an arm around your shoulders.

“Yeah...” You mutter, a low chuckle leaving your lips. “Oh, sorry for yesterday's noise. We're changing a few things in the house for the baby and also working on the decoration. Since we just moved and everything is happening at the same time...”

Anne furrows her eyebrows a little, tilting her head to the side. “Honey, Keanu has been living here for a little more than a year before you came. It was a surprise to me as it was for everyone to find he was married.”

Mimicking her expression, you start thinking, counting. Keanu said you came here only a few weeks before the accident. “Well... We were keeping it a secret. He's a public figure so the goal was to keep the marriage private for as long as we could. But the accident happened.” The words come out slow, as you try to understand what she means by that. A year... It can't be.

“I don't blame you for doing that.” Squeezing your shoulders a little, she smiles. “People can be very intrusive with celebrities.”

“Keanu's fans are great. We bumped into some on our way to the Walmart a while ago. And Ke was kind, as always.”

“That man is a rarity.”

“He is.” Smiling, you look at her, remembering about your current craving. “Oh, do you think you can make some of those chocolate brownies?” You ask, pouting a little. “I hate to give you trouble but I really want them.”

“Don't worry, child.” Anne giggles, taking your hand in hers. “I'm retired for way too many years and I enjoy having something to do.”

“Thank you!” Pulling her into a hug, you place a kiss on her cheek. “I gotta go now.” Pushing yourself up, you jump to the sidewalk. “Important talking about this little one's name.”

“Won't you tell me the options?”

“Nope!” Winking at her, you start walking backward. “It's going to be a surprise.” With another wave, you turn around and head home.

Keanu is in the kitchen, starting with the preparations for dinner. Homemade pizza night, and he's just starting to make the dough. Moving to seat on the kitchen island, you're just about to ask how you can help when what Anne said comes back. That was certainly weird, but you don't think Keanu would lie to you like that. “Ke...” You make a small pause when he looks at you over his shoulder. “Mrs. Jackson said you were living here for like a year. But you told me we came to New York a few weeks before the accident.”

He stops, both his hands dirty with flour. There's something in his face you can't read, as Keanu avoids looking at you. “We bought the house about a year ago. I used to come and spend a day or two because of work, but we only actually moved when you found a good job here.” He speaks slow, only lifting his eyes when he's done speaking. You work with social services, and he said that your job is secure for when you're able to go back.

“Got it.” You mutter, furrowing your eyebrows a little. “Are you alright?” Getting up, you walk over him. Once you're close, he has no choice but stares into your eyes. Wrapping your arms around his midsection, you tiptoe to kiss him.

“I'm great.” When you step away, Keanu touches your nose in a quick motion, getting it dirt with flour.

“I can't believe you did that.” You giggle, stretching your arm to shove your fingers inside the bowl before showing them to your husband. “If you don't apologize, sir, I'll paint all this pretty face of yours.”

“Is it a threat?” Keanu inquires, raising an eyebrow.

“It's a promise.”

“Alright then.” He chuckles before cupping your face with both hands, getting your cheeks and jaw covered in flour.

“You're playing with fire!” You shout, running your fingers through your face before reaching for the bowl and taking a handful of flour that you succeed to half throw it at him, with half of it falling on the sink. He holds your dirty hand, some parts of his hair all white. “You're messing with the wrong pregnant lady, babe.”

“I surrender.” He says in between giggles, hands raised. “I'm completely at your mercy.”

Squinting your eyes at him, you only grunt before washing your hands. “Let me help you.” You say as you grab the dishcloth, damping it before starting to clean Keanu's face.

“No. Let me do this for you. Just sit there looking beautiful.” Once you're done with his face, you clean yourself the best you can.

“Only if I get to see you around the kitchen looking handsome.” Sassing back, you leave the dishcloth on the sink and head back to your place at the kitchen island. You love helping him, but you decided to let him do his thing this time.

By nightfall, the pizzas are in the oven. All three of them, despite knowing you won't eat that much. But one is for Mr. and Mrs. Jackson, and the other two will probably cover up all meals for a while. That if Keanu doesn't bug you with eating super healthy on every single meal. The brownies arrive too, and you thank Anne a lot as you bite one of them.

The only thing to ruin the night, well, that got close to, was that the sudden violent wind caused a blackout. You were eating at the kitchen table when it happened, and Keanu left to check if there was anything he could do. There isn't, but he did find some candles and the pizza night became a lot more romantic instantly.

Right now, already satisfied after two slices only, you admire his face in the different lighting, his hand holding yours over the table.

“We should go out. Like a date.” He suggests, and it makes your smile grow wider. “If that's alright with you.”

“Of course it is. We're married.” Shrugging your shoulders, you notice the subtle change on his face. You never get it, it's a mystery. “Ke, what's wrong?” It's not the first time it happens, but even though you're getting to know him, learning to read his expressions, this one is still difficult.

“Nothing, beautiful. It's nothing.” He assures you in a low voice. “Do you wanna head upstairs? A shower lit by candles must be quite an adventure.”

He always does that. He says it's nothing and changes the subject... But you guess it's alright. Maybe Keanu remembers the accident. The wife he lost that day. Or maybe something you shared before that's completely gone for you. “Great.”

“You can go first. I'll clean this up.”

“Leave the dishes to me. I can do them tomorrow.” You say as you walk past him, a hand on his shoulder. “You already made dinner for us.”

“Alright.” He agrees and you smile before going upstairs.

Showering with nothing but candles to light up the bathroom is weird, and you almost slipped. And that you'll never tell Keanu or else who knows what he'll do. But it was different. Once you're done, you leave the bathroom loosening the bun you had your hair in, letting it down. “Your turn with the medieval style shower.”

“I didn't know they had bathrooms like this back then.” Keanu snaps at you, smirking.

“You couldn't just go with it, could you?” Rolling your eyes, you walk over the slide glass door that leads to the balcony, just to watch as the wind still rushes through.

“Absolutely not.” It's the last thing you hear before the door closes.

With your eyes on the street down there, you hope this wind won't bring anyone trouble by tomorrow. At least the news said the weather will get better in a couple of days.

After some minutes watching the threes bending under the weight of the wind, you walk back to the bed, sitting on the edge. This place is feeling more like home as the days go by, and you're falling back into the life you once had. And it's good. Despite all the medicine you still take, the endless appointments, and a very, very overprotective husband, everything is good. More than that, actually. It does bring you relief to know you were this happy before. That you weren't alone, that you somehow managed to find someone so amazing. You know it was probably difficult in the beginning, with him being a public figure, and so many years older, but look where you are now. It was worth it. It ended up in the best way possible. And you couldn't ask for anything else.

“Lost in thoughts?” His voice startles you, as he comes from the bathroom.

“A little.” Getting on your knees on the bed, you cross it until you're face to face with him. Well, he's still taller, but you don't mind. You like it a lot, actually. Smiling you wrap your arms around his neck. “But they were good thoughts.”

“That's good to know.” He whispers, and you can't resist the proximity, so you just kiss him.

It was supposed to be just a quick thing, soft and sweet, but it soon becomes too needy. You shouldn't be this needy, and you don't know where it comes from. But it doesn't take much until you're awkwardly wrapping your legs around his waist, but the sudden change of balance makes you fall back on the bed, giggling through the kiss. But you don't mind. You don't want this to stop.

But you sigh when Keanu pulls away, opening your eyes to look at him, his eyes barely lit by the two candles, one on each nightstand. “What?” You ask, your voice a little weak, you're not sure why.

“If we keep this going...” His voice fades, and you feel when he removes some of his weight from you. He wasn't crushing you, but you were feeling all of his body. “...I don't think we'll be interrupted this time.”

You get what he means. There won't be calls this time, nothing too put a stop to whatever is going to happen. But you don't care. He's your husband, and you're falling for him. You want this. “I don't want it to be interrupted, Ke.” You tell him, thanking the darkness because you're sure you never blushed this much.

“Are you sure you want this?” A thunder almost clouds his voice, but you manage to hear it.

It's kind that he still wants to know how you feel. Keanu doesn't push you, he never has. It suddenly snaps that you love him, that this is right. “I'm sure.” You whisper back, eyes closing again when Keanu leans in for another kiss.

@multific @inumorph @aestheticallywinchester @bvbwestfall @liviiii98 @allie1804-fan @gian-giannina @playboygeniusphilanthropist @partypoison00 @mariafetamina @fortheloveoffanfic @trin303

#keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves imagine #keanu reeves fanfiction #keanu reeves fanfic #imagine keanu reeves #keanu reeves #keanu reeves x you #john wick imagine #john wick fanfiction #john wick #john wick x reader

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grokebaby · 3 years

Text

What's back home?

Katherine got up at 6:05. She always got up first. And most always at the same time. She got into her slippers and made her way to the kitchen, turning on the coffeemaker. It started working a cup with a conveniently quiet Humm. She took out her sugar free yogurt and organic fruits and started putting them in the bowl in an aesthetically pleasing order. After setting the bowl down on the table with a fresh cup of black coffee, she voice commanded the radio on her favourite channel and began doing her morning exercises. It was all the same routine she'd been doing since turning 20. And her body simply couldn't start up without a good exercise and a stretching.

Her husband Gerald slept for another hour until finally crawling out of the bedroom. "Good morning dear", Katherine said in a neutral tone, reading an e-book she'd started earlier that week. Her breakfast table-ware had already been run under the tap and put in the sink neatly. "Mornin' honey. News!" Gerald responded, opening the fridge. Their radio switched to the news channel as Gerald put last night's lasagna in the microwave. "Don't yell at the radio", Katherine quipped over the noise of the empire's latest happenings. "I didn't" Gerald responded. "You just did." his wife pushed back, not even lifting her head from her reading. "It runs on voice command Katey, I just commanded it" Gerald explained drowsily, pulling up his boxers. "The AI doesn't need to be convinced of your authority to do it's job honey" Katherine notified half seriously. The microwave made a little ping, opening the door to a lukewarm plate of lasagna. Gerald took a fork and sat in the matching armchair next to his wife's. "Katey I love you but we have this same conversation literally every morning." He sighed, taking a forkful of food.

"No we don't. Not literally. I love you too Gerry" Katherine retorted, adding the nickname most likely out of some frustrating way to get back at him. He snorted in amusement, sharing a look with the woman. There was still the same warmth under an ever thinning layer of self centered dignity. She continued reading. But they did have this same conversation yesterday..

Kalvin was forced to take a standing spot in the train again. He was fortunately used to standing around by this point in his life, since his job included alot of walking anyway. He looked out the window as the tubular vehicle slid up the tracks, above the ground level traffic. A person he usually didn't think about popped up in his mind. It was in the form of a childhood memory, probably brought on by two small children running into a store. He and Luke used to shoplift every now and then. They'd see a cool train set in the window, or a packet of muffins in the aisle, and immediately get the same idea. Sharing a brain cell stayed with them for years after the orphanage, even after their little brother circle was broken. One of them would always distract the employees either by asking incessant questions about a random product, pretend to buy something, or fake an injury. Or sometimes get an actual injury. Luke was a clumsy kitten.

He smiled a little, catching his tail wagging subconsciously. It stopped once he acknowledged it. His mind swam to a more recent memory of his brother. Frustrated growls and tense tail flicking. He remembered how astounded he was upon hearing what Luke actually did for a living.. "Oh cmon, we used to do vigilant-y stuff all the time! What's so shocking here?" Luke'd said. Kalvin tried to list all the legal and physical trouble his brother would be in, if anything were to happen.

"It's secret, Kalvin! We hide our traces! Obviously!"

That wasn't explanation enough. They eventually ended the discussion. For that evening at least. But it was the start of many more arguments. Not that it was the only subject of discourse. His brain skipped to the part where Kalvin was done packing his belongings into the van, gotten in himself and looked to his brother. They shared eye contact. It was cold. It hurt. It didn't lessen his anger. The next time he saw his brother was on the news. A mugshot. A crazy headline. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream "I told you so!" to his brother's face. He couldn't.

The train smoothly slid to a stop, intercom announcing where they were now. Kalvin was shaken out of his reflections. He stepped out.

Ash groaned and decided to finally give studying a rest. He'd been reading the same paragraph over and over again, not really digesting any of it. He sighed heavily and stared at the screen for a few seconds, blankly. After spacing out for a solid minute, he simply shook his head and got up to fetch himself ice tea from the fridge. There wasn't much else in there. He strolled into the livingroom, wanting to get away from what his brain considered "Studying space". The tea was kinda stale but the coldness of it refreshed him a little, relaxing his body.

He glanced at the clock, only to notice it was afternoon already. He smiled a little at the timing of his tea - his mother would be doing the same back home right about now. He should call her. He texts her regularly but the poor woman only takes the time to write in the evenings, right before bed, as she's scrolling her phone for one last reality check. She'd definitely appreciate the call. Everything's on voice command back there anyways.

He had her number on quick dial, and the phone was ringing in a second. She took a bit to pick up, but soon enough an old woman spoke from the other end. "Yes dear?" Ash swallowed. He way preferred non-instant methods of communication - talking directly to someone was so easy to mess up.

"Hi mom. What's up? I just uhh.. Took an ice tea from the fridge and thought of you, I guess." he said into the phone. "Oh, I was just putting on my own tea right here, right - right about now. It's boiling. But it'll come fast for sure." she stuttered back. "Yeah, that's why -.." Ash started before being cut off. "Yes how's studying dear? You um, you had that big exam coming up." Ash stifled a sigh. He definitely wasn't in the mood to get right back to this topic again. "Yeah.. Yeah I was just taking a little break here. There's alot of material to.. you know, take in."

The rest of the call consisted of small talk and affirming to his mom that yes, he does indeed still live by the basic standards of hygiene, and that yes, his friends at school are doing good but are just busy. He eventually hung up.

Could've gone worse. He let his thoughts wonder for the time it took him to finish the ice tea, after which he begrudgingly returned to his materials again

Amalia turned off the TV. The news always gave her anxiety. Something bad always happened, either on the news or whenever someone was watching them. If it was something she really had to know, it would surely come to her knowledge some other way.

She got up to make herself cocoa. Knowing Colin would be coming home from football practice around this time, she prepared two cups.

Out the window she could see the local neighbourhood. It wasn't the fanciest one, but she'd gotten comfortable in it by now. It was already dark out, and most work-going people would be inside. Only a few people floated by, illuminated by the street lights. A group of youngsters on their way to the pub. Elderly people going to the store last minute to get something they just remembered. Late-night workers picking up trash. A band of strangers lurking behind the corner.

Something about that didn't sit right with her.

She looked away, afraid they'd notice her at the window. Pulling the curtain, she dared quick glances every few minutes. About three or four people, waiting around for something. Nobody hung out for fun in spots like these. They were talking with each other, although probably not pleasantries. Most of them wore sizeable coats, and the ones that didn't had stuff to carry. Her palms dampened with sweat and she looked away again, trying not to focus on whatever thoughts seeing them originally brought up.

Her cocoa got cold as she forgot to drink it.

Memories tried to push up to the surface. Of large groups of strangers surrounding her. Being held against a cold brick wall. Manhandling. Her claws slid out, pushing against the wooden table. She'd managed to tear into a cloth, or perhaps an ear with them in the past. She wanted to avoid conflict at all costs. The house around her felt too empty. Cold. The stinging phantom smell of alcohol and blood slid up her nostril

The door opened and shut. "Evening! I smell cocoa!" Colin meowed from the entryway. He quickly threw his coat to the rack and peeked his head into the kitchen. Amalia blinked and tried to shake the anxiety away. She picked her claws off the table subtly enough to seem casual, and smiled to the young tom. She took a breath and started purring. "Oh, yes. I put your cup on the table right here. Go wash up first sweetie". He was always a bit ruffled up after practice, considering what kind of sport football was like. Amalia found it a bit too intense and always worried about Colin getting hurt amongst the kicking and tackling. "Yes ma'am", he trilled, making his way to the bathroom. Once he was out of sight, she glanced out the window again. The group had left.

Stella changed her reading position. Judging by the neckpain and the heaviness of her eyelids, she'd probably have to put away her book soon. And she decided to do it now before she got lost in the charmingly papery pages of her vintage reading. She tucked it on it's designated place on the shelf, right between two other books. She was very happy with the collection she'd amassed thus far.

She stretched, mind still swimming in the mythical stories of old. She absently looked out the window. It was dark, except for her reading light. The house was quiet. She knew she had places to be tomorrow morning, but didn't feel like being there just yet. She wanted to savor the rare moments of peace and freedom that, unfortunately, mostly happened during the late hours. Her eyes, as if on instinct, looked for the moon. She remembers going outside every day for weeks on end, just to look at it with a periscope. It had offered her some semblance of comfort, getting to see where her brother was kept. She knew it was virtually impossible to go see him in person. The phone calls around New years were always emotional.

She didn't see it. Must've been the time of month. She decided not to devote any brain power to worrying, and just sat there. No stars were visible through the light pollution, but that wasn't new.

She slowly and begrudgingly changed into her pajamas and sat on her bed. Jeremy was also a night owl, wasn't he? He'd always be fixated on something random, like cleaning some closet in his room, or looking up monster sightings in their area, or how toffee was made. She smiled a little, though it was gone in a second as longing pricked her chest. For the thousandth time she went through all the thoughts of denial and disbelief. Ones like "He's such a sweet guy, he wouldn't just straight up kill a person", "There's no way he got into a guarded building unassisted. What if it was staged?", or "Where did he even get a farmer's stunner that strong, they're only available in very specific, company oriented businesses". She swiped the thoughts away and forcibly tucked herself to bed. She'd cried enough over it, and decided to let life be as it was right now, whether she liked it or not.

Things don't always work out how you want them to

#Moon prison #My writings #Morsos stories #My ocs #Writblr

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mrs-mikko-rantanen · 3 years

Text

If I Should Fall Behind

Avanda closed her eyes, thankful to finally be away from the crew for a while. She was beyond excited to finally be home again, to be around them; but she still wasn't quite ready to be as…..touchy- as they wanted to be.

Caelum kept hugging her from behind and resting his chin on her head; an old habit he'd started as soon as he had passed her in height, and she was still ducking out of his arms and trying to hide how badly she was shaking. Thane kept lying down and resting his head in her lap, and she was always making excuses to get up. Nyar kept clapping her on the shoulder, a hand gently gripping the space where her neck and shoulder met and she kept freezing. Eyes cast down and hands clasped together as the conditioning and memories took over while she stood there silently crying.

It was Ewan she felt the worst for though. Her touchy boyfriend had gotten a tight hug, the kind where neither of them wanted to let go, when she first got home. But after that she'd withdrawn again. She hated herself for it more and more everyday. She could see the hurt in his eyes as she forced a smile at him when he put his arm around her in public, just like she could see the pain from all of her crewmates when she shied away from them.

She hated herself, but she couldn't help it. The last time someone had laid hands on her, it had been Sevoc. His hands around her throat until her vision had fogged and she'd collapsed, unconscious, to the floor of her cell after a beating. And after 3 months living with a touch averse smuggler….she was severely touch starved. But that didn't change the fact that anytime someone touched her, she wanted to cry. Her skin crawled whenever someone brushed by her; but it burned with that familiar ache that told her it had been too long since she'd let her guard down.

Her eyes opened as she heard Ewan come into the room, and she smiled at him.

"You alright?" He asked, eyebrows pinched with concern, "You snuck off, I was a little worried."

She nodded. "I'm fine. I was just a little overwhelmed, that's all."

Ewan returned her smile, and reached for her hand. His fingers brushed against her knuckles, and Avanda swore she could feel her skin light on fire. She fought so hard not to wince and pull away from his touch; which was meant to be a comfort, but it was a losing battle.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered as she pulled her hand to her chest, rubbing a thumb over her knuckles, "I'm so sorry, Ewan. Really, I am. I should-"

"Don't be sorry, Lass. You've got a lot of recovering to do still. I know that."

She could hear the hurt in his voice. "I'm sorry, really Ewan. It's me, not you, I promise-"

"Avanda." His voice was gentle. "It's alright, really. You're still healing. I get that."

Avanda wiped her eyes. "I'm sor-"

Ewan laughed a little, "For God's sake you're gonna give Addie a run for his money. There's nothing to be sorry for, love. He hurt you, and you're healing. You know as well as anyone that healing takes time." He fidgeted with the edge of a blanket as he spoke, keeping his hands busy so that they wouldn't find their way to the side of her face.

"I just-I want to hold your hand, Ewan. I just...I can't. Not yet. And it scares me; I don't know when I will again."

Ewan chewed his lip a little as he thought. "I...I may have an idea." He shifted, sitting cross legged on the couch and facing her. He rubbed his hands together. "Here, put your hands up, like this." He put his hands up, palms facing her. She frowned, mirroring him and moving hesitantly to rest her hands against his, jaw twitching and forehead creased into a frown. Ewan shook his head, leaning back so that they didn't touch.

"No. See, I'll hold my hands here, perfectly still, and you can move as close as you want. Stop while you still feel comfortable." He explained. His face twisted into a soft smile, "It'll be like a game."

Avanda frowned a little. "Ewan…"

"Just give it a try?"

She sighed, rellenting and holding her hands up. She guessed there was about a foot between them. Her gaze flicked up to meet Ewan's, and she fought a smile back as she saw his face. His eyes were wide and full of excitement and hope, his crooked grin splitting his face as he nodded to her in encouragement. Avanda let the smile win, pushing her hands towards his. She paused at six inches, the smile fading into a more confused look.

"This is all the closer I can go, I'm-"

"That's amazing!" Ewan said, nodding quickly. "That's perfect, Lass. Do you want to just sit like this for a while?"

Avanda stared at their hands for a while. "Yes." She whispered.

"Alright. Perfect. How was your day?"

"What?" Her frown deepened as she looked away from her hands, looking at Ewan.

"How was your day?" He repeated.

"It was…fine? I'm still really overwhelmed." She admitted.

"There's a lot going on." Ewan agreed. "Is there any way I can help?"

"I don't think so. Not yet. I just…" she sighed, "I have so many triggers. And they're all so...frequent. I had four panic attacks this morning, and that was before I even went down to the base."

"I'm sorry. Do the breathing exercises help?"

"When I remember them. But that's usually the last thing on my mind." Avanda was vaguely aware that her hands had crept slightly closer to his. It was a millimeter maybe, but it was closer.

"I can help you with them." Ewan said. "You can call me, or text me, and I can help walk you through them if I'm not around. If you think that would help?"

"Y-yeah, actually that might. Thank you."

"Do the crew know? They could help you too, I'm sure of it-"

"No." Avanda shook her head. "Not-not yet. I'm-just not yet."

"Ok. Ok that's just fine. But it may not be a bad idea to think of someone else that could help if you can't get a hold of me. Just think on it, right?"

"Ok." Avanda was surprised at how natural this felt. "Ewan, what's--what're we doing?"

"Holding hands." He answered, "Holding hands and talking."

"This?"

"Yes. From now on, this is how we'll do it. Anytime you want to hold my hand, just put your hand up like this," He put a hand down, leaving the other up like it was resting on a pane of glass, "and I'll do the same. Then you can move as close as you like."

"And what about when you want to hold hands?"

Ewan shrugged. "It goes both ways then. Would it help if I asked for permission first?"

Avanda felt her heart sink. "Maybe...just for now. I'm-"

"Good. Then I will."

Avanda was silent for a long time. She could feel tears building up in her throat as her fingers spread and flexed, Ewan mimicking her as though each finger were attached by a string.

"Why are you doing this?" She finally asked in a broken whisper. "Ewan, why? All this effort…"

"Because I love you." Ewan said evenly. "And because it's my job to make sure you feel safe. And I'll do anything it takes to show you just how much I love you."

Avanda wiped her eyes again. "Thank you."

"Of course, Lass."

"I love you, too."

"I know."

Ewan sighed and leaned against the wall, his eyes closing. He was exhausted. Nothing seemed to be slowing down, in fact, things were just getting even more chaotic.

"Hey," the soft voice caught his attention and he picked his head up, eyes opening as he forced a smile.

"Hey."

Avanda held her hand up, and he mirrored her. It had been about a month now since they'd started this system, and Ewan loved that it seemed to be working. Avanda closed the distance between them to about an inch now. Closer than she'd gotten so far.

Ewan looked at her and smiled again, before it faded at the serious look in her eyes.

"What's the matter?"

"You're allowed to break." She whispered.

"What do you mean?"

She sighed a little. "Ewan, things are crazy. Chaotic and scary and just...you don't have to keep this strong composure up all the time."

"I-I do though." Ewan whispered, "I've been- I've be-been-been through-" he sighed, his jaw clenching as he scowled, trying to reign the stutter in. "I've been through wor-worse. I should be able to han-handle this."

"Ewan, please." He jumped a little as her other hand rested against the side of his face, eyes widening slightly at the action. "Please. Just because it could be worse doesn't mean that things are-- all fine and dandy here and now. Things are shit right now. It's alright to admit that. It's alright to break down."

Ewan nodded a little, licking his lips. "I s-sup-suppose you're right. But I just-what-what about you? I have to-to be here for you. I have to hold it to-together, because you need-"

"Ewan, if I'm the reason you're keeping everything all bottled up, then maybe we need to talk. This-I'm fine." She wiggled her fingers and drew his attention back to the small gap between their palms. "I'm healing. It's going to take time. A lot of time. You can't keep yourself trapped 'until I'm better' because who knows how long that's going to be?" Ewan nodded a little. Avanda pulled him so that their foreheads were pressed together. "Let me be here for you as much as you've been here for me, alright?"

Ewan nodded again, eyes fixed on Avanda's fingers, still hovering away from his.

"Alright."

Avanda kissed him gently and her fingers curled into his hair. "Ewan, please don't make me tell you to cry."

Ewan laughed a little.

"I'm serious! Just...just let it out, ok?" Her hand broke away from his and she pulled him into a hug, hands running up and down his back and neck. Ewan buried his face into her hair and let the tears flow silently.

He wanted to hold her too. To wrap his arms around her and ball his fists around her flannel the way she did when he held her through a panic attack, but he knew she wouldn't be ready for that. He could tell that she was already sacrificing her comfort for his just by being this close to him. So he let his fingers toy with the end of her braid, and he let his thumb rub gently up and down her spine where his hand rested on the small of her back. And he let himself cry. Which was more than he had given himself in a long time.

#ewvanda insp #ewan insp #avanda insp #ewvanda angst #ewvanda fluff #ptsd #whumpee!avanda #caretaker!ewan #ask to tag #hurt/comfort

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nothingbutfangirlsmut · 4 years

Text

The Maze Trials: A Gally Fanfiction

Pairing: Gally x Emi(OC)

Summary: Emi, first girl the Glade has seen. Tougher than she looks and more than ready to prove it. Since day one her and Gally have been at each other's throats. Fighting constantly and not just with their words.

(Gally fanfiction which will include smut. It also has an actual story line. Think of it as an AU to the original Maze Runner. It'll mostly follow the main story line with some changes. Mostly focusing on Emi and Gally and their relationship.)

Chapter Two

I slowly walked into the homestead looking around for the angry boy. I spotted him standing in the doorway of Alby's office.

"Seriously? Who cares if she's a girl! She doesn't deserve any special treatment!" Gally shouted into the room most likely towards Alby.

"That is enough Gally! Just do it and shut it!" Alby shouted back with a booming voice that made me shrink back.

Gally growled as he turned out of the room. He noticed me instantly and groaned.

"Did Newt send you to give me design details that you want? You'll get what I give you greenie." He said harshly then went to the other side of the large open downstairs.

"Actually he wanted me to help you." I muttered following behind him.

"I don't want or need your help. Why don't you go shovel klunk?" He grumbled.

"Listen I get that you don't want me to get special treatment. I didn't ask for it. It seems Alby thinks I need it." I said dryly as I leaned against the doorway of the room Gally decided to work in.

"Just shut it greenie and let me get this done." He grumbled again with his back to me.

I decided to do as he asked. I silently stood in the doorway watching Gally move things around the room. He was indeed the perfect build to do jobs like this. He was tall and bulky. His biceps were as big as my head. His chest looked strong and tight. As I watched him work I also watched his muscles flexing and straining as he picked things up and moved them around the room. He quickly had it looking like a bedroom all but a bed. Before I could ask him about one he turned and quickly shoved past me out of the room.

I stumbled back watching him leave the homestead with a look of pure hatred on his face. I took the time to walk over to the other side of the building to stand in the doorway of Alby's office.

"Is he seriously that angry about you deciding to give me a room here in the homestead?" I asked Alby making his head snap up to look at me.

"It seems that way" he chuckled lightly.

"He always that sensitive?" I asked with a small smile.

Alby stood up taking a few steps to put himself next to me in the doorway.

"Gally has been here longer than most in the Glade. He was one of the first ones. He's seen a lot and been threw a lot. I'm not making excuses for the boy but I understand him to an extent. Him being this angry over the only lady in the Glade having a private room I don't understand though." Alby chuckled lightly again as he looked me over.

"You know I really don't need a private room. I can sleep in hammocks with the others. I really don't mind." I told him honestly.

Alby shook his head with a smile in place. It was an infectious smile.

"No, the boys here can't remember the last time they saw a girl. I can't keep an eye on all of them at all times to make sure they behave. I just want to make sure you're completely safe. I'm not saying any of these boys would hurt you but I'd rather be safe than sorry."

I nodded understanding what he was saying. I smiled letting him know I appreciated him looking out for me like that. The door to the homestead flew open suddenly gaining both mine and Alby's attention. Gally was dragging some wood and other tools inside. I rolled my eyes then ran over to grab the other side.

"Don't bother greenie. If it's too heavy for me then it's-" Gally stopped talking as he watched me pick up the other end of the wood that was dragging on the ground with ease.

I smirked knowing I'd just surprised him. I helped carry it all the way to the other side of the building and into the room that would be mine. I laid down my end as Gally was laying down his. Without a word he started working on putting a make shift bed together. I silently grabbed some of the tools from on top the wood. I'm not exactly sure how I knew how to do this or how I knew what the tools were for but I did. I glanced over to Gally to see what he was doing. I mirrored Gally's movements on my side.

"If you're gonna help at least do it right. You need the corners tight." Gally muttered not looking up at me.

"Wanna check my work?" I asked gesturing to the wood.

"When I'm done I'll check it." He said as he continued to work.

I rolled my eyes as I moved to the other side of the wood. This made Gally glance up because he hadn't finished on his first corner. I smirked knowing he wanted to check my work because there's no way I could do this faster than him.

I'm not really that small of a girl. I mean I'm short definitely but I have a bigger build. The kind of build you'd see a woman with if she worked a hard labor job. Where ever I was before the Glade I must have had plenty of exercise.

Gally finally moved to the other side to mirror my actions. He kept glancing up to see what I was doing. I couldn't help but smirk every time I caught him peaking at me.

"My side is done" I said confidently as I stood up.

Gally stood a minute or two later. Without a word he walked around to the side I worked on. He picked up the wood to check my work. I watched his mouth open like he was going to speak then he closed it again. Not one word was said about my work but he looked at me with surprise clear on his face. I smiled triumphantly as I helped him pick it up and place it in the corner of the room.

"You can ask Alby where to get your blankets. My work here is done." Gally said dryly as he walked out of the room.

I looked over the simple wooden bed Gally and I had made. It didn't look too bad. After I got a few blankets to lay on I'm sure it would be decently comfy. I made for Alby's office but he wasn't in there this time. Instead I went for the main door. As soon as I opened the door I was face to face with a dirty blonde boy.

"I was just coming to get ya. Bonfire is about to start." He smiled stepping back out of the doorway.

I stepped out of the homestead closing the door behind me. Newt nodded for me to follow him which I did taking a few quick steps to put me at the taller boy's side. A few feet from us I could see the crowd of boys around a large pile of wood. Logs had been sat a few feet from the bonfire in a half circle around an open area of the grass.

"You'll have a lot of fun tonight I promise." Newt said smiling as we walked.

—

#nothingbutfangirlsmut #the maze runner #the maze trials #tmr gally #gally x reader #gally #gally smut #gally imagine #fanfiction #smut

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wrongwiredmind · 3 years

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Before I start saying anything I'd like to warn that the content of this post is both gore and contains suicidal thoughts, if any of that triggers you, please do not read, I care about whoever is reading but I can't hold any responsibility for anything that might follow, stay safe, and remember that no matter what, what comes next in your life will be better, one way or another.

This post is rather long, but that's kinda the point of this page, here we go, then.

So, I had almost my weirdest dream to date, right now, and then I thought, to heck with it!! Let's share something!

So first of all, I need to set some points straight before writing so it might explain a few things, hopefully, without giving a lot away about my personality:

(I have no idea how to put them on order, so they're pretty much a mumbo jumbo. Ah~ My favourite type of writing~. Kidding, of course, I actually prefer reading well written stories and articles)

Anyhow:. 1- I have a really deep unexplainable fear of the vast beast called an ocean (or a sea, or really anytype of deep water), I still go to the beach and pools and whatever, but there's always some sort of an icy grip tightening around my non-existent heart.

2- I love IronMan! So so much, and I kinda adopted Tony Stark!! (no one tell him, please!).

3- my adoration of a certain supernatural series made me love batman! (well, not entirely true, I always loved him, but kinda from afar, you get me?)

4- want me to get hooked on something? Give me a fanfic of it!! (of course like a series or a book, not a substance, you bad bad people!!), that's how I loved Bilbo!! (imagine me saying it in my adorable voice, the one I use when I try to sound cute 😉)

5- I binge read a certain fanfic about those two amazing superheroes saving the world, and themselves!! (I refuse to give up the name since if you think this is me oversharing? You've got another thing coming, honey!) that had a cruise and another prototype of the IronMan suit (don't ask which mark it is but it's so fast it broke the sound barrier!!)

6- I'm a little bit under the weather, (not corona, folks!) and my throat is kinda itchy, to the point that I lost all my vocal prowess for a little more than 24 hours a few days ago, still kinda annoying, and my stomach rebelled so much yesterday (before and during sleeping) that I thought she should take the rebellion symbol from Mr. Che Jivara!! (with all due respect to him, I'm only joking, so please no one takes it seriously).

7- I'm a little bit of a spacetoon (and all that's good and beautiful in our childhood) encyclopedia, want a name of a cartoon or a song you can't remember? I'm usually your best bet, after the second mother, google, of course!!

8- this week is so dead that if you want to see zombies come to our lectures any time in it, seriously we're so under a lot of exams, thank God and the doctors for postponing our tasks and assignments' due-date.

9- if I was a little more of an extrovert I might not have had to write most of these strange snippets about me in a freaking post!!!

And finally, on with the dream! (another thing you probably know by now, that I kinda take you around and under and left and right before I say what I want to say).

So, it was an assignment to some sort of subject (don't ask me which, since as far as I know, not a single thing in our curriculum will make me do what I'm about to do here, or at least, I hope so!!!), we made some type of fall-body suit that needed analysing (who am I kidding, it was the IronMan suit!!), and guess who was picked as a pilot? That's right! Yours truly!!

Anyway, good thing to bad, we had to make the prototype test in the middle of the (as I said above) the vast beast! Mr. Oceanus (I know that that is a Mr. Titan, but who am I, the lowly mortal, to deny his decision to appear in my paragraphs? And no, he didn't show up in the dream, thank God! [ours, not any of the others]),

So, I was put in the cruise, in the middle of the ocean, with the IronMan suit, and a seriously sick stomach, can you guess where we're going with this? (I'm actually kinda enjoying writing this since it reminds me of a certain mad superhero/not superhero who finally joined the XMen!, of course he joined a few years ago but I only watch the second movie circa a month ago) no? let me tell you, a bit of dizziness, seasickness, and an already rebellious stomach? Not a good combination, and remember that I really, really fear the ocean (just remembering the dream and the images in my head is traumatising, let alone living it vividly for a few hours), so, I fell, and strangely enough, I was a good swimmer (ah~ I really count my blessings here since no matter who or when someone taught me to swim, I still can't manage), I was able to stay close to the ship, but couldn't really pull myself up, so all I could do was keep a good hold on a rope tied around the ship and keep my legs in a calculated, slow what feels like a walking-in-place exercise,, (I can still feel the water around me, and the gentle waves of the ocean, it was both a calming feeling and a horrible one) and then...

Something touched the soles of my feet, and it kinda hurt, and it continued to move under me till something hit my toes, it was a shark fin, that's right, a shark choose me as his next meal, how honoured I was!!! Kidding i was kinda terrified, but all that YouTube survival videos came to mind, I left the rope of the ship and kinda dipped under water (triple scare, here, yikes!) and I... pushed.. his muzzle?

Yeah, so not really what they taught you in the videos, my polite nature rears its ugly head again (politeness is not as good as it seems, people! actually once a stray dog entered our home and jumped on the couch, and I was asking nicely and politely if "Mr. Dog would pretty please leave us be", and no, I wasn't scared but mom told me not to touch it, and it kinda was a cute, if a mangy mutt)

I didn't really want to punch the shark, even if my life kinda depended on it here, for a few reasons and actually at least one of them was pretty reasonable, which is, my punch is pretty weak, guys!!

Anyway, of course since its skin kinda scratched my feet there was blood, so it didn't leave me alone, two things I concluded here, first, Mr. Shark was either a lazy guy since he was coming to me slowly as if he either was a giant cat coming for pets no matter how many times you push her, or he was playing with his food, aka, me.

The second thing I discovered was that I was really sick in real life since my imagination couldn't conjure another family member of my guest here (again with the small mercies, can you imagine being alone around all these carnivores? And I bet not all of them will be moving so leisurely!!)

So, I finally decided to be the champ of my cruise and punch the thing in the face, so I pulled up all the power I can in my fist and punched him in his snout!!!

And let me tell you, it's not as easy is they make it sound, first, his nose is actually pretty hard, not the sensitive area they led us to believe, second, my hand really hurt and his skin scratched my knuckles, and I believe it kinda broke a bone in my hand, third, and worse, it actually enraged the mister so much that it left me, J-squared again and this time, flew! in my direction and I swear I still feel his teeth sinking in the shin of my right leg, but before he tore it apart, I actually did the right thing to defend myself, I (and I apologise, Mr. Dream shark, but you really hurt both my leg and my feelings!!) poked his eyes, which made for a very awkward stretch to my body, but finally, I was left alone!! With a mangled leg, of course, but hey!! It's not real life, so let's be glad.

The saltwater stinging my feet, still sick, and more dizzy from blood loss, you have no idea how glad was I that I was still near the ship, a little bit more than a meter but still floating, and then, the bad became worse, I actually goT SWALLOWED WHOLE BY A WHALE!!!!!!!!, YUP!! THE WHALE IN THE PICTURE!!!

And then god with his mercies again, it swallowed the ship but opened his mouth for me to leave, neat, ain't it?

But let me tell you what happened in a little more details, I felt a ripple in the water beneath and around me, and the ship started to sway, and a faint sound of something between a roar and strange song-like-sound, feeling the rumble under me was what made me look, and lo and behold!! The mighty animal wanted the meal that the shark didn't get, bye bye world!! Bye bye the suit that I still didn't to get to wear! And bye bye the report I needed to write for this freaking assignment that because of it I might fail and my friends will rail me when they see me!!

The ship and I couldn't help but enter the mouth of the humongous fish, the sounds of the wood, metal, glass and whatever is the cruise was made of was deafening, so loud and cruel, and I got a more than a few bruises and abrasions, and the feel of his teeth behind my back, sharp and huge and bigger than my own size, was something I don't know how to describe, and suddenly between all the breaking and suffocating water and absolute darkness, something caught my eyes, the slits in the helmet of the suit were lit, I'm sure it was a malfunction because of all the destruction on Mark, but it took all my fear, as if sucking it from my own eyes, and as sudden as it glowed, it vanished, but the calm remained, I closed my eyes, since it didn't matter, and just stopped everything, even trying to hold my breath, but not breathing as well, as if all body functions just... Stopped.

And then my eyes flew open again, not because I woke up, but because of an almost crushing change in the water pressure, it just pushed me forward more inside the huge mouth, and when I thought that this is it, I found the whale mouth moving further away from me, taking the ship and Mark with it, and leaving me alone, in the middle of the ocean that I wanted to say "c'mon!! If you ate me it'll be a win-win situation!!!!" but the second I opened my mouth water rushed inside that I tried swimming up to breath (even though not knowing which way is up was problematic, since something similar happened in real life before I wasn't worried, but that's a story for another time), breaking the surface was a godsend, I tell you! But my misery wasn't in any way over, I was so thirsty I actually wanted to drink salt water a again (and then death, oh wow, how smart?), and once the adrenaline deserted me, my leg returned to trying to kill me, and I don't know if it was a real thing if it happened in real life but it actually stopped bleeding, which was both fantastic, since it means that I won't die of bloodloss, and horrifying since I'm not going to die because of bloodloss, at least then I would have been able to calculate an approximate time for my death, but no, I have to wait and see what kills me next, I almost wished that I just had my previous stomachache and be done with.

Anyway, moving was not really an option, and staying was not either, and the breeze was making me so cold my teeth almost broke from all the shattering they were doing, I wasn't really sure when the others might decide to check on me, and I'm not really sure if I was still in the place they left me at, and I really didn't know what to do, I was so helpless, and cold, and thirsty, in so much pain and so so tired.

I cursed the whale again for not ending my misery, and cursed the shark for being a coward and not finishing what he started and cursing the assignment for being so impossible yet important, and most of all cursing myself, though I don't know why, but my self-loathing decided that now is the time to remember how horrible I am.

As physics does, the water raised me till I was floating on my back, which made me feel even more cold but I didn't have any energy to do anything about it, and strangely, I fell into some sort of doze, not asleep yet not really awake and aware, my whole body half above half into the water, though my right, injured leg, was bend in the knee into the water, which made my pained scream when something took hold of it in its mouth the more agonizing since it made my upper body enter the water, and the thing holding my leg left it alone, and I was able to right myself and look around me for the next threat, the fear was immense that I thought I might get a heartattack, which, admittedly would be better than the pain going to be inflicted upon me any second now, looking around finally led me to what attacked me, and for a moment, with my blurry, and fear filled eyes looked like Mr. Shark has indeed returned to finish what he started, he even returned to his play-with-my-food attitude, but when my eyes finally focused they detected differences, from the lighter shade of colors, to the more smooth curves of the fin and snout, and the gentle, warm (even if it looked sleepy) strange brown tone of the mammels eyes,

The dolphin was about two meters away, and looking at me with intense, twinkling eyes (if they were blue and he wore glasses, or at least marking that looks like it, I would have thought that the dolphin was Dumbledore' animagus and I really wouldn't have hesitated this time to punch his already crocked nose.. err.. snout [which it isn't, the dolphin's snout was perfect] with my broken hand!!) and moved slowly towards me, he pushed me gently with his nose in my abdomen, swam back a few inches, then entered the water and moved towards my leg, not touching it, but he was close enough to feel with my already almost destroyed sensitive nerves, he did all of that while I'm standing/floating, stupefied, hardly even breathing, and then he left, and pushed me again with his snout on my back, this time with more pressure that my body couldn't help but move to the dolphin's right side to let him pass, with my hand just above his back, when my hand touched his prominent back fin, he pushed my hip gently, as if telling me something, and pushed his fin into my hand again, it felt like rubber, and I couldn't help but ask "you want me to hold you?" he made a strange clicking noise then kinda slapped the water with his side fin in the other side of me, and bizarrely, his actions made me feel as if he was saying "are you stupid? Why else would I offer you my magnificent dorsal?!!" I stared, flummoxed, at the creature and couldn't help but throw my head back and laugh, I'm certain that it was the tension, fear and hysteria that made me do it, but for me, the whole situation was so hilarious that it seemed like it made Mr. Dolphin look at me and think "alright, the pathetic, hurt, star-shaped blemish is, indeed, stupid and needs help from my majesty" and then, using his right fin, slapped me non-too-gently on the side of my left hip, squeaking something as well and pushed his dorsal in my left hand again, but when he noticed my wince, he actually kinda rubbed his slippery appendage on my thigh while honest-to-god cooed at me that I couldn't help but smile at him, "it's okay, big guy, and thanks; you know, you kinda remind me of flipper!" and then I petted him a couple of times (which he purred at, I think I need a cat! 🤔🤔) then grabbed his fin in a tight but non constricting grip, my right hand was swollen by now so my only hope was to keep holding using my left hand, after shaking his body a little as if to check my hold, he dove with me into the water!! I almost screamed in fright but then he broke the surface and jumped about three meters high into the air!!!

Hello, there, adrenaline, didn't see you since a few!!

He dove again into the water and this time gradually moved towards the surface, with the water flowing into my hair and pushing me from my saviour, my left leg moved on its own violation and moved around the body as if I was riding a horse,

"WOOHOO!!", I shouted once we were in the air again, it was exhilarating; cold, but thrilling, though the warm body beneath me was perfect, he took me in a straight if slightly curvy line, and when I noticed that, I also noticed that his right fin was not moving as his left, I even thought he was injured for a second, but then a sharp sting in my leg and a slight jerk from him made me understand, my injured leg was beneath his wing-like appendage, and he was being considerate, as a solution, I flattened myself on his back, kept my left leg dangling as if in the horse saddle, my right one, as gently as possible, bend on the knee above the dolphin's back, my left hand gripping the top fin with it touching my shoulder, and my broken right hand above Mr. Flipper's cousin head, and then I came into a a sudden realization!! "does that mean I'm Lopaka????" I asked Flipper the second, and he made a sound suspiciously almost like a snort, but my change of position made him move in a much more pronounced straight line; the speed decreased as I started to doze again, as if he was worried about dislodging me, though the annoying feeling of the salt crusting on my skin woke me up, no idea how much time had past, except that the sun was on either the verge of descending or rising, and finally, finally, I saw land and buildings and what not from afar, and I certainly moved to another continent all together, let alone another country, after reaching the area where I could stand comfortably on the ground beneath the water, people started to come to see what was happening, I ignored them for the sake of my silent companion, suddenly he actually stood on his tail fin, and kinda sort of awkwardly leaned on me without trying to put too much pressure, I didn't understand what was happening though it seemed sorta like a hug?

Anyway, I pat his back again, (and again with the weird purring noise), when he released me I felt buzzing in the back pocket of my jeans, I actually still have my phone!!!

Pulling it out and snorting that after everything that happened my phone was still working!! all I could say is "well, it seems like the time of a picture, Mr. Flipper, sir!" and after an awkward kneeling so I could put my injured arm around him and trying to stretch my bloody leg (both meanings are accurate here, tbh) so it wouldn't interfere with the selfie, I positioned my left hand.

And the last thing I remember is the picture of my (Lopaka the second 😂) wide mouth grin and an equally wonderful grin from Mr. Flipper the second!!!

The End.

It really was a dream I had, with all these details, the only thing that's not entirely true about this post, is saying that this is the weirdest dream I had.

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shabba-zams · 4 years

Text

I'M NO MANIAC

Hold big regard for kinship, tradition and culture, I could give a lecture

I'm sky high - herbivore, like a turkey vulture I'm a carnivore

Canibal, I mean omnivore coz I love greens, like Popeye And Spinach, I lick bean

Flick flick, root Chakra, keep you grounded, kiss your forehead, illumination

Wham bam, burn incense this instant

Smoke in house, reminisce about my late aunt, Eugenia

Healing from a heartbreak of a love that never happened

Should never happen, wait what just happened?

You a bad bitch, downward doggy, hit it from the back, is that good B?

Meow-moo, look at that arch, Doja, Cat-Cow mi amor

Heart's aching, beneath I'm hurting although surface looks perfect

Instantly regretting the mistake I made, egghead getting laid

I was broke, couldn't think straight, Im still great, it's just that I hate

Constantly stressing, hope you not late, I'm Wylin, red fox

Sorry mate, don't put me on the spot unless we hot box

You a hot mess, you burn, guilt trip, in hell I burn, 12 stroke soul snatcher, soul searching,N2O, inhale, I burn, I'm trippin

My goodness, Zulu goddess, Tsonga royalty in her DNA, your highness hello, hi, my love I profess

Pussy power tricking, that tightness, finesse crazy like madness, she drippin

Her cookie jar I'm Double dippin, like yes ya, I praise ya, I'm smitten

You praise Ja, pet name for your small pussy... Poor lil kitten

Obsessed With fitness, admire her loyalty, I stay under her spell

First We gel, then repel, we then rebel, plz say you could not tell I fell for you girl!

I confess, your strange quirks remind me of my old ex

Guardian angel, I see your halo, okay bye! In darkness you my star

Naledi always shine bright, never dim light, eyes can adjust right?

No girl, tell me how could I not fall for you girl?

If I see you all day and night? Medicate then meditate

Last and first light I see you, it's hard to wake me up, ICU

Namaste, send u love and light. Hugging u gud nyt then imma go unless it's midnight, my pants is tight right and u hug me tight tight cutie, in my ear, QTip, u whisper get the light, deep throat gimme the green light, tonight you looking so tasty

It's not right, lockdown got me all thirsty, see, I'm nasty

I'll eat you out, gimme a big tip, face chair, take a sit please

Gangsta champagne, notorious bubbles I sip sip, are you pleased?

You a tall glass of sexy B, I mean u sassy B, sexy beast I gotta drink, drunk

In love with your positive energy, you love the inner me and you know I'm not the enemy, I love you

Juju, like bad energy, shoo shoo, telling me to go, I don't go

Feeling ur feng shui imbalance, tryinna find balance, yoga

So much green in my blood stream, feelin like Hulk or Yoda

I'm 1 with the force, a gulf stream directing ur flow, go

Heavy flow that weigh a ton, period. I go deep, you flow deep like the Nile, you lovin it

Tid bit in denial, plz don't judge unless you take a 9 mile walk if the shoe fit

Wise mentor, needed to blow off steam, oh no you make me sing, I never meant to...

I'm spiritual, Ultralight beam, living the life of Pablo, green

I see no light, stuck in the dark, this don't feel right

Fight what I feel, fight! I know you like what I write, right? I'm still Steve like Biko, because I write what I like

You're spiritual, Ivy crown it'll be alright, fight!

Where you been? Spiritual journey, Wrote you a song of love, don't panic, it's platonic agape kind

You're kind, im sorry, please forgive me, God bless us

Never meant to sex ya, sext ya, yes ya I never meant to

Hurt ya, my day 1 let me be in your team, I'm your hype man and you my wing man, who knew, man?

I'm a new man, never wanna be in u ma'am, that's Truman, like Harry

Like Harriet, You talk truth ma'am, ur woke now, mental slavery chain breaker

Lead, take leash, give me my freedom, Tubman. Ass like Baartman, I'm joking, I'm through man!

Is it true man? You got a new man?

I'm glad you found uThando & Peace!

I see your glow in the dark , I watch you grow, from head to toe

Lock down, No sexercise, just exercise, oblique workout, body shaping up, you shake shit up

Look down, fvck shit up, I fantasize under the mistletoe, kiss kiss that phat pet peeve,

I mean the size of that cameltoe, kiss kiss like it's NYs Eve

Family Feud like Steve, We lip lock, she bad bad like Eve

Stuck with you like gridlock, bad bitch my ride or die!

The love you show, I dunno who to tell that u just ring my bell

Blue balls, plain torture, ungshaya ding dong, that just rings wrong

Playing mind games like ping pong, saw my dp then ask for my dick pic like "Big Z u got big dick print"

I tell her to quit playin and show her it's just resting, I'm a grower

Picture a Big black gun in your hand, click glock

Lick big black cock in my hand, and get a big tip

Love your big tats,small tits, nip slip, vrm vrm, you own me like pinkslip

4 play lick clit, that pink pink

Big lie like, just the tip, truth is I just wanted to hit twice, then dip twice like, dip dip

Double Pussy grip, like grip grip

Our late night tap dance routine like

Double tap like, tip-clit-grip-grip, skip, tip-clit-grip-grip

Sending mixed signals, wearing no bra, black tank top, Grey gym pants, exciting my BBC then saying NO BRA!

Apple bong is crack bong, big flop wearing your pink flip flops, I need a drink,J walk drunk, hit, bong, bang, drive, buy smoke, fly, sky, high five, YouTube The Fives, whats the matter? GBV

All lives including those you call low lives matter, no 1 deserves murder.

Deep chats kid, Katt Williams crack me up, have a break Kit Kat

I'm a lil sad but real glad u not mad at me brick brack, red fox

Need my quick fix, Red on Netflix like Raymond, cross you off my hitlist, at least at last, the blacklist, NBC

No chick flicks miss, unless you aiming to get this, BBC

I don't aim, shoot shot once and don't miss, easy, ABC

Cupid tryinna shoot me dead but misz, shit shot, no Mrs, thank God

Thot thought she a hot shot coz she smoke pot, no BS she not hot

Cold as horse shit that's not hot, bust a nut, I might not

I'm a lit lad who thinks they a big bad, Wolf, with a sick head

You heard? Sometimes it's hard when u in my bed, think with other head instead like getting head

Play dead after I beat meat, you knock-knock, I'm cumin, you come in, your bad timing is not charming

I see myself in you, pun intended, idea planted in my head

For real tho, I see your hoeish ways, long gone are my hoeish days

Sometimes I think u poison like Ivy, I'm batman, no avengers

Scavengers, a mad woman and a bad man, Savages in our own league

First punch throwers, they hate us, crack bong hitters, they not us, we avenge us,

You lead, I school ya, screw ya, liquids in ur insides like IV

Drip drip, said fuck it, big deal, do u even care how I feel? Bad state of mind, took shrumz, now I'm havin a bad trip

Craving a road trip, cruze down memory lane, replay bad clip, is it weird that I loved that silhouette video? Press play

Get liquid withit

Going toe-to-toe, I kill and bury Big Trill, made my 1st mil

Then blew it, dead lyricist, I'm just a ghost writer

I see changes, a stoner girl turn to a rave girl as the nyt ages

I once told her, trust the rock of ages like John

Serial killer with rage on Pages, I was angry at God like Sean

Now i'm easy like solving for X- Kid'o,

That's annoying, ward off tiny mosquito

Go against me, that's a non starter, kiss my ass lips

I talk shit, no stutter or slight lisp like L-Tido

In the city of gold its all or nothing, that's a no brainer

No brain huh? Black lip bastard, faith like mustard seed

Don't call me bastard, transform to Luke Cage then hit rib Cage like

Nicholas, can't stop me like an urban legend... Ghost rider

I sound fictitious like ghost busters, but I'm quite real like Klingon

I stick like glue, here's a clue:

Day of the week: Monday

Feeling: baby Blue and itchy

Scratch my balls I'm jiggy, sweet melanin black queen like B

Fluent in your love language B, catch 22, paradoxical

Hypocritical, stereotypical, philosophical.

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katedrakeohd · 4 years

Text

A Very Valtorian Christmas - Part 2

[Masterlist]

****************

Part Two: Say my Name / Silent Night

Sitting with her legs crisscrossed on the sofa, Kate rubs her hands soothingly over her belly and hums softly. The warmth of the fire wraps around her like a cocoon and she closes her eyes, feeling at peace.

“It's almost Christmas little one, would you like to hear a song?” she asks quietly.

A flutter of movement is her answer and Kate smiles, “You're very much awake I see, so perhaps something to help you sleep.”

Swaying gently side to side, Kate starts to hum Silent Night.

Out in the front hall the door opens and Drake and his two dogs blow in with a cool breeze. As he pushes the heavy door shut, Gracie and Fluffers shake off the snow clinging to their fur. Drake grumbles as he chases after them with their doggy towel in an attempt to dry them.

“Come here you!” he growls at Gracie as she tries to wiggle away. Gracie enjoys the towel chasing game after a refreshing trip outside into the snow or rain. Especially the tug of war that usually results. The more Daddy grunts and growls in frustration, the more she tries to wrestle the towel free from his grasp. Sometimes she wins, resulting in a brisk head shake and whipping of Daddy's shins. But most of the time Daddy wins and Gracie gets pinned to the floor and roughly rubbed dry. Which feels good anyway so it's all fun for her.

After Gracie gets a thorough rub down, Drake reaches and snags Fluffer by the collar and does him too. Although the whole exercise is meant to achieve a dry pair of dogs, it most often results in Drake or whoever kneeling or standing in wet puddles on the floor and covered in dog hair. So happy dogs, but unhappy humans.

Drake takes a small measure of satisfaction by giving each dog a fierce, but playful slide across the wooden floor and watching them scramble to their feet. “Off you go guys, wheeeeeee!”

As they recover their footing they come racing back and jump all over his lap. Drake laughs as they lick his face, “Ugh, yucky doggy kisses. You two are disgusting, but damn you're cute.”

Brushing himself off, Drake gets up from the floor and puts his winter stuff away. The dogs have already run off back toward the great room. “Go find Momma guys.”

Walking back down the dimly lit hallway in his sock feet, Drake heads for the golden glow coming from the great room. As he makes it to the doorway he can hear Kate singing softly, and stops to listen.

“Silent night..Holy night..

All is calm, all is bright…”

Drake can't help but smile, his heart tugging at the tenderness and love in her voice. He walks quietly into the room and stops behind the sofa.

“Holy infant so tender and mild,

Sleep in heavenly peace,

Sleep in heavenly peace.”

Kate's eyes are still closed as she hums the next verse. Drake can see her facial expression change to one of amusement as she feels the baby move. Leaning over the back of the sofa, he gently places his hands on her shoulders and gives her a kiss on the cheek. "I love you Kate," he whispers.

Tipping her head back she opens her eyes and smiles, raising her hand to touch his cheek. "I love you too."

Leaning his chin on her shoulder he slides his hands down to cradle her belly.

"So what do you think Mama, boy or girl?"

Kate giggles as the baby kicks, "Soccer player, just like Daddy."

Drake chuckles as she places her hands over his. "Hey I felt that too. Seriously doesn't that hurt?"

Kate shakes her head, "Not really. It feels a little weird though. I suppose in a couple months when baby starts to run out of space it'll bother me more."

Drake gives her another kiss on the cheek, and then stands up to go stir the fire in the fireplace. Kate grimaces slightly as she unfolds her legs and straightens them out.

"Ow," she says quietly.

Drake turns so quickly he almost drops the hot poker on his foot. His eyebrows shoot up with surprise and concern.

"You Ok Honey?"

Kate holds her belly and laughs, waving off his concern. "Yes dear I'm fine, just been sitting in one position for too long. My legs are stiff, and my foot's fallen asleep."

Drake puts the poker back in its stand and runs his hands back through his hair, grinning sheepishly. "Oh, I see."

Kate picks up her eggnog again and finishes it as she tries to wiggle her toes. She covers her mouth and tries to swallow without laughing.

Gracie and Fluffers move out of the way as Drake walks over to sit down on the rug at Kate's feet. "Here, put your feet in my lap and I'll massage out those pins and needles."

Kate sighs happily as Drake's warm hands rub over her feet and ankles. As he massages around her toes with his thumbs, a pleasant jolt shoots up the inside of her thigh and she gasps at the tingling warm sensation it generates in her crotch.

"Mmm, did I ever tell you that you have magic hands Drake?"

Drake grins, moving his hands up to massage the back of her calves, "I think you've told me once or twice."

Kate wiggles her toes against his thighs, gripping at the wrinkled fabric of the denim in the vicinity of his groin. Drake gives her a lopsided grin and then scoots closer so that he can kiss the top of her knees.

"Legs and feet feeling better now?" He asks, as he hugs the back of her calves and rests his head on the edge of the sofa next to her thigh.

"Much better thanks," Kate smiles, stroking her fingers through his hair.

"Baby still doing somersaults?"

Kate shakes her head, "I know it's tradition for the gender of the Royal Heir to not be revealed until birth, but I feel odd this far along in my pregnancy still referring to him or her as just 'baby'. Would it be against the rules to start picking out names?"

Drake sighs, understanding her frustration. "Officially yes, but unofficially no. I'm anxious to think of our kid as someone with a name and a face too."

"Are there any traditions as far as names go in the Walker family?"

Drake frowns, absently patting the top of Gracie's head as she lays down next to him, "None that I know of. What about the Darlings? Is there a rule about passing on names of past aunts, uncles or whatever?"

Kate draws little hearts and question marks on her belly as she thinks about it, "I don't think so. Why don't we start a tradition of our own?"

Drake tilts his head side to side, rubbing the stubble on his chin, "Maybe. But can I make a suggestion?"

"Sure sweety, what are you thinking?"

"No weird made up names, or naming our child after fruits, vegetables, colors, or inanimate objects."

Kate laughs, "No problem there, but would you be against floral names for a girl? Like Rose, Iris, Lily, Daisy, Poppy, or Heather."

Drake shakes his head, "Not at all, but bear in mind that our possible daughter is going to be royal. So maybe a flower as a middle name instead? You need to imagine 'Princess' or 'Queen' in front of her first name."

Kate nods, "That's a good point. So what about boy names? Or unisex names that would work for both boys or girls?"

Drake shakes his head, "No offense to all the Taylors, Ryans, Bobby-Joes, Baileys and Rileys of this world, but I don't want to confuse people. Although the prefixes Lord, Lady, Prince and Princess, King or Queen would make their gender more defined."

Kate stifles a yawn, "I'm sorry, didn't mean to yawn. Just all this talk of what our child's name can't be is wearing me out. Growing a baby is exhausting work."

"I suppose it is getting late, and tomorrow is a busy day."

Kate reaches her hands up over her head and stretches, "Yes, it is. Plus Nicholas, Hana and Maxwell arrive tomorrow too."

"There goes our quiet Christmas together." Drake groans in protest.

Kate braces her hand on Drake's shoulder for stability as she gets up off the sofa, "Oh stop complaining, you have to play Duke of Valtoria every once in a while."

Drake sighs, "Oh I guess so. I'm still trying to get used to having a Duchy full of people thinking I'm so important."

Drake gets up from the floor and wraps Kate in a gentle hug.

"Well don't forget you're super important to us," she says, giving him a kiss.

"Never, because my family is the most important thing to me too."

---------

@jlpplays1 @ao719 @jlpplays1-41daysofcheerchallenge

@dcbbw @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria @walkerswhiskeygirl @sirbeepsalot @texaskitten30 @jovialyouthmusic @emceesynonymroll

#41daysofcheerchallenge #day:8 family

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ramblingaboutthings · 5 years

Text

take a picture it’ll last longer - Peter Parker

The pics are not mine they’re from @/angelic.tsh on Instagram

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Summary: Being best friends with Peter was simple, he was a complete dork yes, but she loved how cute and nerdy he could get and Let's just say that a pool party can change a lot of things.

Words: 1.4k

Warnings: no one I think lmao, just wanted to say that @/whataboutthehorizon on wattpad edited this and I love her bye. :) (It's set during homecoming)

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Being best friends with Peter was simple. Yes, he was a complete dork, but you loved how cute and nerdy he could get. Not to mention those chocolate brown eyes of his. They drove you crazy.

"Liz! Truth or dare?" Miles asked.

She furrowed her eyebrows, clearly thinking hard about the choice. "Dare" she said cheerfully.

"I dare you to invite that nerd Parker to your pool party! I bet he's still as scrawny as last year."

You suddenly choked on the water you were drinking.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" Liz asked.

You nodded violently. “Yes,” you mumbled. "You're going to invite Peter to your pool party?"

She nodded and smiled softly.

“Is there a problem, Y/n?” Miles asked teasingly.

You shook your head no despite the fact that there was a problem, Peter was your secret crush, and lately he had been distant.

You continued to stay silent as you watched everyone doing exercises. MJ, your other friend was reading a book while Peter and Ned were whispering to each other.

“Hey Parker!” Miles yelled. He turned around, avoiding your worried gaze. “Wanna come to Liz’s pool party tonight?”

Peter furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Yeah Pete, you should come! It’ll be fun.” Liz added.

Peter blushed and started to fidget with his fingers. “Y-yeah, I think I’ll come.” He stuttered a little, which made you smile brightly.

You continued to talk with Liz and Miles. After a little bit, Spider-Man became the topic.

“I honestly love Spider-Man.” Liz smiled dreamingly.

You turned your gaze to the floor. “I love him too, but I’d love the person behind the mask even more. He's an angel. You can't deny that,” you said, still looking at the floor. You looked up a little and saw Peter smiling to himself. You thought it was weird but adorable. You smiled and blushed, still staring at him. Eventually you became lost in your mind, until MJ interrupted your thoughts.

“Oh my God, you like Parker!" she whispered with a laugh. "What? No!" you yelled.

Everyone turned to you making you blush fiercely.

“You what?!" Miles said, laughing his ass off.

"Okay everyone! Go back to whatever you were doing!" MJ yelled. They obeyed, but her look worried you more than the whole class staring at you.

She took your hand and pulled you to the locker room without even telling the teacher. The two of you sat down on the freezing floor.

"You like Peter," she said with a look that screamed "Don't lie to me bitch.”

You sighed and stayed quiet for a bit before nodding your head.

"I knew it!" she smiled.

Thankfully, P.E. was your last period, so after that whole ordeal, you walked home. Once you arrived home, you ran to your room and opened your wardrobe and began to sort through your bikinis. You picked up a red bikini, then a green one. After shifting through a few more, you spotted a y/f/c one that suited you. You picked it up and stared at it for a bit before actually going to the bathroom and changing into it.

__________Peter's point of view_____________

"May! I have a pool party tonight!" I said before hugging her desperately once I arrived at home. "Peter, calm down!" she laughed. She pulled away from the hug as I stared at her. I was desperate! I needed to know what to wear. Oh God, I'm worse than girls.

I ran to my room and began searching for a pair of swimming trunks. I couldn’t find anything. Fortunately, Aunt May stepped in, holding a pair of y/f/c swim trunks. I smiled at her before getting lost in my thoughts.

It was y/n's favourite color. Lately, I had been a complete ass. I’ve been ignoring her since I became Spider-Man, and she probably hated me now. But I did it to protect her. If someone I fought with discovered she was special to me, they would kill her, and I definitely didn't want that.

I put the swim trunks on before laying on my bed. I quickly remembered another problem: I wasn't as scrawny anymore thanks to that spider thing. Everyone was going to notice that. Shit.

______________ your P.O.V. _______________

Everyone was already in their bathing suits when I walked in the house. Liz looked beautiful as always. We greeted each other before walked to the bathroom to change.

I walked outside awkwardly. I wasn't used to walking around in a bathing suit in front of a ton of people. Some people stared at me and others didn't seem to care at all.

Suddenly one of the guys climbed onto a table. "Look guys! The beautiful Y/n is matching with the nerd!" the guy yelled.

I looked around blushing until I spotted the guy I was searching for.

He was a blushing mess. He was trying to hide behind Ned, but it wasn’t working, I walked towards him, recalling the last time I saw him shirtless. I thought he was cute before but now...oh my God.

I smiled "Peter! Hi. It's been a hot minute since we had a proper conversation." He just smiled as everyone stared at us.

After everyone went back to whatever they were doing, I took the chance to catch up with Peter. We talked for two hours. It was as if nobody else was there. Peter showed me a part of him that I didn't know, he'd gotten confident, almost flirtatious, before he had to go away.

I swam a little in the pool with MJ. She was my other best friend, and she knew I was worried about Peter.

"Y/n, he probably just hangs out at home, stop worrying."

I smiled lightly. "I’m not!"

She shook her head before continuing to swim with me.

The rest of the night passed by in a blur. Peter hadn't come back yet, so I just decided to sit by the side of the pool. I looked up and saw a blue and red figure standing on the roof. That was when all the dots connected: all the times Peter was late or the times when he just ran away was because he’s Spiderman. Peter freaking Parker was Spiderman. There was no other explanation on why Spiderman was on Liz's roof. A part of me was sad because he'd never told me, even though we were best friends, but a bigger part of me was only worried about the fact that he could get hurt.

I climbed cautiously on the roof, everyone had gone home at that point and Liz and MJ were inside. "Hey Spiderman," I said with a smirk. He jumped and turned around with a startled expression. "Y- I mean hi," he stammered. I smirked even more. “So, why are you here Spidey?" He turned to face his feet. "Problems uhm- with a g-girl," he said. Something inside me broke. He was in love with Liz, wasn’t he? How could I think he loved me? I was useless.

"What's the problem?" I asked as I sat beside him.

"Well, I like this girl, but she's way out of my league. She's hella beautiful with gorgeous y/e/c eyes and soft y/h/c hair. You know, I think I love her.”

Only then I realized how close we were. How can I make him get out of the suit? I thought as my eyes glanced all over his suit, searching for something useful. I spotted the little spider on the center of his chest. I tapped it once, nothing. I tapped it two times and boom! A shirtless Peter sat there, face bright red.

“Hi, Peter."

His eyes widened. "How long did it take you to figure it out?" he asked.

"Five minutes," I said with a grin. "Let’s go swimming?" I hoped I hadn't scared him too much. Thankfully, he nodded in response.

I climbed down from the roof and ran to the pool to jump in. "Aren't you coming loser?" I yelled. I swear I saw him roll his eyes before smiling and copying my previous actions.

After a few moments, we were alone in the pool. We were talking when suddenly, he leaned over and pressed his lips to mine, leaving me stunned. After the initial shock wore off I actually started to kiss him back.

He pulled away and smiled. "I love you," he said before getting out of the pool. I stayed there and stared at him, my eyes glued on his now toned body.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," he said with a smirk. This effectively snapped me out of my trance and I smiled back.

"I love you too, Pete." I tilted my head to the side. "I have loved you since we met."

He smiled, "Let's get inside before MJ and Liz come out here.

” When we entered the house, we saw the two girls creepily staring at us.

"What?" I asked, concerned with their behavior.

"We saw it all," Liz said.

"About time, Parker," MJ said before walking up to me. "Good luck with the nerd," she whispered. "And you.” She pointed a finger at Peter. “Treat her badly and I won't hesitate to rip your heart out of your chest, alright?"

He nodded at her and put an arm around my waist. He kissed my temple and smiled at me. "I would never hurt her."

#peter x stark!reader #peter parker #peter parker oneshot #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #sm: homecoming #homecoming #avengers #poolparty #love #peter parker x you

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Buster & Rio

Buster: I was about to ask my parents if you could stay and it turns out Nance already has Buster: You could've told me I wasn't your fave any more Rio: 😂 Rio: You're still my fave, I'm just the fave of everyone, I can't help it Buster: [a pouty face selfie] Rio: You can't just ambush me like that Rio: you're too cute, its dangerous Buster: Well you're mine so you can't be anyone else's Rio: You can say that again though Rio: please Buster: You're all mine Buster: And not only 'cause you've got such good manners but I'm not mad about it Rio: Well please tell me they said I could come Buster: Nance scraped a C on some essay which is like a Dyslexic A, I guess, so Buster: They couldn't really say no Rio: Yay! Rio: She's really come through Rio: my dad should be home in an hour or so, I'll ask then Buster: I would've Buster: You know I've been on my best behaviour, babe Rio: I know Rio: trust me, it'll be way more fun for me to praise you than your parents though Buster: You can't just ambush me like that Buster: You're too fucking hot, its dangerous Rio: I know Rio: you still have to work out when we can be alone Buster: Remember when we were younger and she could never stay up as late as me, that's still true Buster: Never gets up as early either Buster: Or comes to see me fight, so she has no idea how long that lasts Rio: This is why I like you best Rio: never enough time but definitely better than we have had Buster: I'll make more, those are just the most obvious Rio: I can't wait to see you again Rio: like actually, I'm sick of not being with you Buster: I feel that too Buster: You'll have to get some new habits we can make the most of for the weekend, like taking really, really long baths Rio: That sounds pretty fucking good anyway Rio: I'm fine with being that bitch Buster: And it's not your fault that her en-suite doesn't have a tub in it Rio: 🤷 Rio: needs must Buster: You're an animal person too, right? So you have an idea how much exercise this dog needs Buster: And how easy my sister is to distract on a walk as long as she's got her 📷 Rio: True Rio: you really are helpful, like Rio: 🤴 Buster: I've had loads of time to think about how helpful I could and wanna be to you Buster: Like you said, needs must Rio: I know what you mean Rio: I just can't believe its actually gonna happen outside of my head Buster: You'll believe it, baby Buster: You won't be able to deny it Rio: Good Rio: That's all I want Rio: for it to be real Buster: I know, me too Buster: But nothing's ever been more real than how I feel about you Rio: I'm so Rio: how do you exist and how are you so perfect for me Buster: The first one is a question for my parents that I ain't asking 'em Buster: We're perfect for each other though Rio: Fair 😏 Buster: How are you then? Buster: Other than perfect and missing me Rio: Ugh, bored Rio: been on my best behaviour too to increase the chance of a yes Rio: school is really boring when you just do the work, like Rio: how about you? Buster: Same Buster: I haven't been out or fuck all 'cause I thought I was gonna be the one to put the idea to my parents Buster: Cheers Nance Rio: Baby 😞 Rio: We can go out Buster: You're worth it and I wouldn't wanna be on their shit list while you're here Buster: This way we can go anywhere and do anything you want Rio: It will be worth it Rio: every second Buster: I know Rio: I convinced Edie to do the boxing with me Rio: she liked it Rio: maybe one time I can bring her to see you Rio: after I've had some time just for me, selfish like that Buster: I'll teach her some more shit when I'm next back Buster: If she wants Rio: I think she would Rio: you might get a queue though Rio: Indie and Janis then has to have a go, like Buster: They should all know how to protect themselves anyway Buster: Nance won't let me show her Buster: Some man hater she actually is, like Rio: She's very Rio: a pacifist, I think we'll call it Buster: You can call her a pussy, I won't tell her Buster: I'll teach you again too, so you're safe when I'm not there Rio: I'll stick with my word, like Rio: You don't need to worry about me Rio: I can look after myself Buster: Let me show you and I won't need to worry about you 'cause you'll be able to look after yourself even better Rio: You can just say you wanna pin me, its fine 😏 Buster: I could but I reckon it goes without saying Rio: Oh but I like hearing it Buster: Oh, in that case Buster: [voice memo time] Rio: oh Rio: well, fuck Buster: Bored ain't the word now, is it, babe? Rio: I can't think of any words Buster: Let me help you Buster: [another voice memo cos he's extra] Rio: Buster Rio: you're making me Buster: Rio Buster: I wanna make you Rio: What are you gonna do when you first see me again? Buster: Everything we didn't have time for Buster: And everything we did Buster: But slower Rio: You're trying to kill me, I swear Buster: That wouldn't be very 🤴 of me Rio: I think you're something different than a prince Rio: better than but definitely no prince I've ever seen Buster: Tell me Buster: I wanna hear what you think Rio: A king Rio: maybe Rio: that's better than a prince Buster: You just wanna be a queen and get a crown instead of a tiara Buster: Okay, you've got it Rio: Don't I deserve it? Rio: besides, princes are only good for slaying dragons and evil stepmums and I don't want you for that Rio: I wanna rule with you Buster: 'Course you do Buster: But you can have more than just a castle, you know Rio: Yeah? Buster: There ain't no limits for us Rio: two castles Rio: and a penthouse Rio: and a mansion Buster: And every car you said you wanted when we played that game, yeah? Rio: Exactly Rio: Do you still wanna be a footballer? Buster: I wasn't scouted Buster: They pick kids up well young now, like Rio: I won't have to fight any WAGs at least Rio: and you're gonna be the best defense lawyer ever Buster: Shame, there's a fight I wanna watch Rio: 🙄 oi Buster: Come on, don't you wanna let 'em know that I'm yours Rio: There are other ways Buster: I'm not saying you can't do those as well Rio: I bet so many girls at your school fancy you Buster: Yeah they do Rio: but you like me best Buster: I only like you Rio: Good Rio: I've only ever liked you Buster: What about your ex? You said you liked him Rio: Not the same Rio: nothing close Buster: Good Rio: You knew that Rio: I can't like anyone else whilst I still like you Buster: I wanted to hear it again though Buster: 'Cause I really miss you Rio: Well my da just came in so give me five to convince him and I'll basically be on my way Buster: Okay Rio: [time lbr he's a pushover especially for her so not long lol] Rio: 😁😁😁 Buster: Thank fuck Buster: If he'd said no I'd be getting on a plane instead and that ain't best behaviour Rio: I was pretty sure he would, but your parents had called ahead so didn't even need to worry Buster: 'Course they would've Buster: I didn't even think about that Rio: I owe Nancy harder than she can know, like Buster: As much as that winds me up Rio: You're clearly gonna get the IOUs, and without having to put in as much work Rio: think of it that way Buster: I know, but I can't help also thinking if she wasn't around it could just be me and you Rio: Yeah Rio: but there's no way we can swing that Rio: not yet anyway Rio: when we're older I can get a hotel or something instead Buster: Yeah Buster: And it'll be easy to sneak off when we come back to Dublin, fam functions are always a free for all anyway and St Paddy's is the messiest by far Rio: Seriously Rio: we can do anything Rio: be loud as we want too Buster: What a fucking relief Buster: I'm sick of holding back so nobody hears us Rio: its so rude Rio: I've been waiting to hear you for so long Rio: I should be able to whenever I want Buster: Rio Rio: Yes? Buster: I'm so glad that your parents got married and mine made me go Rio: Me too Rio: I already feel like we wasted loads of time but it could've been so much longer Rio: or never Buster: The night before when I was at that party I was convinced it was gonna be never Rio: We'd silently agreed that it was Rio: I guess Buster: The thought of seeing you was such a headfuck Buster: Now it's all I want Rio: Are we insane Buster: Maybe Buster: But I don't care, as long as we both are Rio: Me either Rio: we can do this, can't we Rio: it doesn't need to be the drama we were scared it would be Buster: You know we can do anything Buster: It'll only be a drama if other people find out, which they won't Rio: Exactly, not amateurs Buster: Never have been Buster: Well, except when I headbutted you in the face Buster: That was pretty amateurish of me, like Rio: You were so adorable Buster: Shut up Rio: You were though Rio: it was really hard not to kiss you but you wouldn't let me Buster: I hurt you, it scared me Rio: Baby Rio: you're so pure Buster: No I'm not Buster: You are Rio: Its a good thing Buster: I'm surrounded by cunts, remember Rio: I know Rio: I know you have to be different Rio: but not when you're just with me Buster: They'll never change us Buster: Nothing will Rio: It can't Rio: like you said, we both tried Buster: Exactly, if I can't do it, they've got no chance Rio: Facts Rio: Also no lie how hot you are Buster: Good Buster: Don't lie to me Buster: No matter what Rio: I won't Rio: you don't to me Rio: whatever, I can handle it, alright Buster: I know you can Buster: And I know that we can't tell anyone but can I at least tell the girls at school that I'm not single so they fuck off? Rio: You want to? Buster: It's fine if you don't want me to, it's just that loads of 'em message me all the time Rio: It's cool with me, if you want to do it Rio: I mean, really cool Buster: You're so cute, stop it Rio: I was thinking we'd have to have that conversation Rio: and I didn't think it'd go that way Buster: How did you think it'd go? Rio: That we'd agree to see other people too and I'd just have to not think about it ever Buster: Baby, no Rio: This is why you're the best Rio: because I really don't wanna do that Buster: I'm not sharing you with anyone, end of Rio: I don't wanna be shared Rio: I wanna be yours Buster: You are mine Buster: So why would I kiss any more girls pretending they're you? Buster: I'm not stupid Rio: You're everything I need Rio: This weekend is going to be everything you've ever imagined Buster: Yeah I am and it will Buster: I don't need or want anyone else to touch me ever again Rio: I'm never going to get tired of touching you Rio: hearing you, tasting you, none of it Buster: Don't Rio: How could I Rio: I'm not stupid Buster: I love you Rio: I love you too Rio: its so Rio: to finally say it Buster: I wanted to say it in person first but I really fucking love you Buster: Waiting to say it seems stupid Buster: Like you said, we've wasted loads of time already Rio: Well I might be crying so that's probably for the best Rio: slightly less embarrassing Buster: I told you not to when I'm not there to wipe your tears away Rio: Only happy tears Rio: promise Buster: But still Rio: Okay, no more tears, I'm fine, this is all so casual Buster: I'll distract you Buster: Pick a game Rio: play MASH with me again Rio: I want a better future Buster: You're gonna be every one of my crushes though Rio: Of course Buster: And I'm gonna give you the best future no matter what it says Rio: Tell me about it Rio: we don't need a game Buster: What do you wanna know? Rio: What our futures gonna look like Buster: Well, we'll live there obviously 'cause it's always been home but we'll have loads of other houses anywhere else we want Buster: Like America when I go study at Havard Buster: Or in Brazil for when you miss it Rio: you'll love Brazil Rio: its like a party all the time Buster: I hate that we can't go in the summer, it's shit not being old enough to go places like that on our own Rio: I know, always have to go everywhere with everyone else Rio: we'd have so much more fun just us Buster: When we're older, all you have to do is name a place and I'll take you there Rio: I wanna go everywhere with you Rio: its shit being anywhere you're not Buster: In the future you won't have to go anywhere without me Rio: Sounds like heaven Buster: You're like heaven, 'cause if there is one it'd be a place where I feel like this, right? Buster: Where I never have trouble sleeping or get angry about stupid shit and I get to kiss you as much as I want Rio: I want you to feel like that all the time, you know Rio: you should, you deserve it Buster: You make me feel better than I thought it was possible to Buster: Being with you has been like, not a dream 'cause mine are shit, but a worthwhile reality or whatever Rio: I feel it too Rio: you make me feel safe, and not just because you taught me how to fight Rio: and seen, but not how everyone else sees me Buster: You are safe, I meant it when I said I'd do anything for you Buster: And yeah, I know you, the same way you know me Rio: I believe you, I knew that even when we weren't talking Buster: Nothing and nobody's gonna make you feel shit 'cause they'd have to go through me to try it Buster: That's always gonna be true even if one day you don't love me any more Rio: That day won't come Buster: Good Rio: I've always loved you Buster: I've always loved you too Rio: I'm scared I'll wake up and none of this has happened Buster: If that ever happened all you'd have to do is wake me up as well and let me prove to you how real it is Rio: Okay Rio: I might ask for some proof, even if I don't actually need it, 'cos that sounds 🤤 Buster: You can have whatever you ask for Buster: And loads of shit you don't that I'm just in the mood for Buster: Or I know that you'd like too Rio: I want what you want Rio: that's what I like, making you happy Buster: See, you're the one that's pure Rio: Depends what you want Buster: I want you Rio: I'm yours forever Buster: You're in every fantasy I ever had, you know Buster: My imagination is full of you Rio: It doesn't have to be just imagination now Buster: Until you're here though Buster: But I've waited way longer before Rio: Counting down the hours pretty much Buster: If you hadn't told me to get something that reminds me of you it'd be so much harder Buster: I'll have to give you something you can take back Rio: What did you get? Buster: Didn't I tell you? Buster: I found the perfume you were wearing to the party Rio: How did you even remember Rio: that's so Buster: How could I forget? Rio: I love you Rio: and I'm so glad its you, you know Rio: if I loved anyone else I'd be disappointed Buster: I'll never disappoint you and I know you couldn't do it to me either Buster: I love you so much, Rio Rio: I won't Rio: I'll be perfect, trust me Buster: You are and I do Rio: You ain't seen nothing yet, like Rio: don't know just how 😇 I can be Buster: Well, I don't like not knowing things Buster: You better show me Rio: When I'm there Rio: patience is a virtue and all Buster: We've both been patient enough Rio: You think we'll both still get in? 🙏 Buster: I told you, I'm already there Rio: Me too Rio: How do you do that? Rio: Make me feel this good without even being here Rio: That's some godlike power, never mind being a king, THE king Rio: fuck Buster: Jesus Buster: I thought we couldn't have more fun than when I make it difficult for you to talk but if you're gonna keep saying shit like that, I'm gonna change my mind Rio: Both Rio: we can definitely do both Buster: I'm not letting you leave London until we do Rio: I'm in no rush to leave Buster: I couldn't be in more of a rush to get you here though Rio: Seriously Rio: what should I bring Buster: Obviously your highest heels Rio: Of course Rio: not that you need the excuse now Buster: Depends where we are Buster: I'll take any excuse if I have to, like Rio: That's true Rio: and who with, obviously Rio: I won't wear them on the plane, they probably count as a deadly weapon Buster: I'll still carry your bags and you Rio: Maybe wait 'til your parents aren't there though Rio: at least with me Buster: They're always on at me to have better manners Buster: But fine Rio: 😏 Rio: You can see how well it goes over but might ruin all your hard 😇 work Buster: Like I said, you're worth it Rio: 😊 Buster: And we've got our own heaven whenever we want it, so there's no need for me to worry about what happens if they wanna kill me Rio: 'cept you did promise you wouldn't die Buster: Babe, come on, they can try, it don't mean they'll succeed Buster: You know me better than that Rio: Yeah, I do Rio: its just gonna be hard to not immediately kiss you, that's all Buster: So we'll find a way Rio: Yeah? Buster: There has to be one Buster: If nothing else give 'em the wrong gate and give me the one you're actually coming in at Rio: 😂 Rio: I don't think they're falling for that Rio: like you said, we've waited longer Buster: That's the last resort, I'll think of something that'll work better Rio: I have all the faith in you, like Rio: also have too many clothes for a weekend Rio: hmm Buster: Shame I can't say you won't be needing 'em Buster: Not until we have our own place anyway Rio: then clothing is pretty much not allowed unless you look really, really good in it Rio: 'cos then I need to take it off you myself, obviously Buster: You look as good in everything you wear as you do out of it, so I'm honestly fine with that rule Buster: But for now, leave space in your suitcase for everything of mine I'm gonna give you Buster: And everything I'm gonna buy you Rio: 😍😍😍 Rio: I'm hearing check a bag instead of doing carry-on Rio: I want your comfiest clothes but they gotta smell like you a lot so put 'em on now, like Buster: Check a bag so I can get in it and come home with you Buster: [selfie of him wearing that loungewear that you know is pricey af and looks so good on him cos that bitch] Buster: If I'm not careful they're gonna all smell like you too 'cause I made sure to spray my sheets Rio: damn Rio: we're gonna end up smelling like each other Rio: it'll be a good combo Rio: not mad about it at all Buster: Me either Rio: how do you do that Buster: You're gonna have to be more specific Rio: look like that Rio: all the time Buster: I could ask you the same question, you know Rio: How could I not fancy you, like Rio: who can blame me, yeah Buster: Don't ever stop, okay? Rio: I promise Rio: Its literally impossible so I ain't worried Rio: you don't need to be either Buster: Good Buster: I'll focus on how much I miss you instead Rio: I'm okay with that Rio: there's plenty I can do about that before I've even stepped foot on the plane Buster: This is why you're my fave Rio: I better be Buster: Who else could even come close? Rio: No one Rio: don't go find out for yourself yet, okay Buster: All I'd find out is how right you are about that and I already know that Buster: I don't waste my own time and I definitely won't waste yours on any of that kind of bullshit Rio: I can't keep telling you how amazing you are but like Rio: I also can't not if you keep upping it Buster: You can tell me anything Buster: The fact is, I need you, just you, end of Buster: I'm not just saying it as a compliment, like Rio: I feel it too Buster: This weekend I'm gonna make sure you do feel it Rio: please Buster: Everything you do and say gets to me Buster: But that especially Buster: You're gonna have to leave all your manners in Dublin or I'm not gonna be able to pick you up from the airport Rio: but Rio: okay Rio: do it Rio: how's that Buster: Oh fuck Buster: Well that's not any better, just different Rio: You'll have to make it so I can't say anything then, like you said Buster: Yeah Rio: 🤐 Buster: [sends her some more pics to try and test it like we're all gonna die if we don't figure it out] Rio: 😩😠 Buster: [a voice memo like gotta up the stakes here, do you though boy or are you just being rude] Rio: you aren't playing fair Rio: or nice Buster: None of my fam will from the moment you arrive Buster: They'll just get in the way of us Buster: But if you need me to call a truce for right now, tell me Rio: No, you're right Rio: I can handle it Buster: I love you Buster: We can handle it Buster: Together Rio: We always have Rio: we can do this, I know it Buster: Exactly Buster: It'll be easy compared to some of the other shit we've done Buster: And even if it ain't, fuck all's harder than pretending I didn't care and I did that for ages Rio: I'm sorry Rio: that you had to do that Rio: that you do Buster: Don't Buster: It's not your fault and you never told me to do it Rio: I'm still sorry about it Rio: I wanna be good to you, even if we have to hide it Buster: I know and you are Buster: You were even when I wouldn't let you be Rio: do you wish it was someone else Rio: so it'd be easier Buster: No Buster: Fuck easy, who am I, like Buster: Shit's not worth having unless you fight for it Buster: And I'm ready to do that for you now Rio: I love you

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