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sisididis · 3 years

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The Fawn and the Dagger

Almost everyone at this point believes that Eris will be the one to kill his dear old father. But what if Elain will be the one to avenge the Lady of Autumn, Lucien and Jesminda? Be the king slayer that she is through and through.

“I made a promise,” Elain said, her heart rabbiting wildly in her ribcage. The ghost of a smile played on Beron’s too thin lips, his head titled to the side like a parent indulging an ill-tempered child. “I had come back,” she barrelled on, “to retrieve the last good thing left in your wretched court.” (ง'̀-'́)ง ✿

Elucien fanfic coming right up.

“I made a promise,” Elain said, her heart rabbiting wildly in her ribcage.

In the narrow corridor decked with amber foliage, sunlight had spiderwebbed its way between the branches of the canopy, bathing in fire the dagger held firmly in her hand.

In a different time, in a different world, the autumnal forest would have been an oasis of peace, perhaps a fabric of her childhood dreams and the cradle of all fairytales known to mankind and Faekind alike. But now, as the pendulum swung back and forth between life and death, bound to come crashing down with a tragic fate, she banished all dreams and hopes in the attic of her mind. For nothing rang truer than the death knell before her, personified as the High Lord of the Autumn Court.

“I had come back,” she barrelled on, “to retrieve the last good thing left in your wretched court.” Her skin broke out in frissons, her sinews pulled taut. Even the blood flowing through her brittle veins seemed to change their course in terror. Hatred, so corrosive and cold, coated the inside of her mouth.

Fear clouded her peripheral view and honed with unnatural sharpness the focus of the glare, pinned on the male before her.

Depthless brown eyes stared back in taunting assessment. So different from her own brown. No trace of a fawn in them. Only a predator’s precision and prowess. The ghost of a smile played on his too thin lips, his head titled to the side like a parent indulging an ill-tempered child. A soft rumble of laughter burst from his lips.

“Hasn’t he endured enough?” he sneered. “And to think that I couldn’t bring him to hate me more. To hurt him more.” As he spat the last words, he began moving, engaging Elain in a mirthless game of tag. Elain, too, began moving, keeping her distance, her eyes wary.

“Hurt him how?” Her voice was a dangerous whisper.

A cruel smile tugged at his thin lips.

Elain prodded again, louder, her patience goaded past endurance. “Hurt him how?”

Beron snarled. “I had his first low-born bitch killed.”

It took a few seconds for the words to sink in. And it their wake, every bit of air had left her lungs, and every rational thought was replaced with savage anger. It flooded her chest and writhed like snakes in her stomach. Anger as she had never felt before, seemed to emanate from every pore. And it wasn’t alone. A thirst for revenge kept it company. Revenge - an emotion so foreign to her heart. Elain who could never hold a grudge, but this. And only Beron’s death could quench it.

Beron drank in her shock, her anger, fed on it, thrived from it.

“And now” he smirked, “I get to kill his mate.”

“I will admit,” he carried on “that you’re an improvement both in looks and in upbringing.”

Elain could feel every inch of her skin crawl in disgust under his persistent leer.

“But…” He paused again in condescending assessment.

Elain held her breath. Act now, a voice echoed in her ear. Act now. Her dagger began burning her fingers.

“Such a pity that you’re a half-breed.” He finally said in mock regret. And fire began to kindle at his fingertips.

Without warning, Beron became a blur of motion and a wave of heat.

Elain began running, ducking between trees, jumping over logs and bushes. Anything to shake him off, and earn more time. More time as she rummaged through her inner vault of new-found strength. Until her Fae strength, too, would exhaust to embers and turn to ash.

“I thought you had come here to save her.” Beron’s dark chuckle followed her, beyond the thickets. Elain paid it no heed, instead she continued pursuing the outskirts of the forest, praying that her family would be there. Her horrified gasps hovered among the trees and vanished. As the quiet of the forest turned eerie, Elain stopped to listen. Had she finally lost him?

She continued listening, and backing away, One step. Two steps. Three steps.

Where were they? Where were her sisters, her friends, her mate?

Did Beron’s sons ambush them in a penumbra of the forest? Were they hurt? Were they still alive?

Out of thin air, the death knell rang again and beckoned Elain forward.

“Found you.” Beron purred. His hand clutched her shoulder and scalded her like branding iron.

Act now, the voice urged her. Act now!

Holding the dagger with such unsettling ease, as if the ever-swirling depths of the Cauldron had preordained it, as if the Mother herself watched over, Elain saw a flash of silver and the world stilled.

Her surprise was mirrored on the High Lord’s face, for in that momentous turn of events, Elain had morphed into specks of light, into the breathing of the forest and the goddess of retribution, delivering her final justice.

After what felt like several lifetimes, Elain’s mouth unsealed and her voice rode the autumn winds.

“This,” she twisted the dagger buried in Beron’s heart “is for the Lady of Autumn.” My future mother-in-law, Elain thought.

Beron’s eyes widened in pure horror, and his hands began clawing at Elain.

“This,” she dodged his hands, her voice wavering with love and fear “is for my mate.” For Lucien, the banished son and her self-sacrificing mate. Her one true love.

The male paused in his thrashing. His eyes locking onto Elain’s and Elain was powerfully reminded of a lost and parentless child. If only things had been different, Elain mused.

“And this,” she pushed the dagger deeper with one final twist, revenge etched on every gentle feature of her face “ is for Jesminda.”

“Gah!” The dying high lord’s face was the epitome of agony. Blood had begun pooling around the silver blade.

And with one final, resounding thud, the male fell to the ground. With the dagger plunged deep into his heaving chest, the revelation of what she had done startled her into alertness.

An incredulous gasp escaped from his mouth. Then hesitant hands slowly slid to the oozing gash. A tentative prod. Another tentative prod. In the impenetrable silence, the High Lord’s hands turned white and slick with blood.

No one dared to breathe. Even the amber leaves of the Autumn Court forests had stopped rustling in vigil to their dying king.

“She was mine.” He choked.

“Though her heart wasn’t, she was mine.”

As death loomed closer, as the ominous winds whispered like Death’s slithering cloak on the ruby foliage, his voice was softer than it had ever been in life.

“Enough...” His voice trailed.

“‘Twas...” and his chest stopped rising, finally succumbing to the soothing sound of Death’s call.

#acotar #fanfiction #elucien #lucien vanserra #elain archeron #beron vanserra #beron #jesminda #acosf #post acosf #lady of the autumn court #lady of autumn #elain #my fanfic #I hope that you'll enjoy it friends #elucien fanfiction #elucien fic #a court of thorns and roses #sjm

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cynergy-laughter · 4 years

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Obey Me! One Master to Abridge Them All! Ep. 5

5. Rewind... Rewind... Rewind...

Leviathan: W-What?! No, that doesn’t happen!

MC: Uh, yeah it does.

Diavolo: Enn doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would lie about something so detailed... I think we know who the winner is...

Leviathan: No... NNOOOOO! *changes into demon form* You shouldn’t know any of this! You are just a newbie wannabe! You got into TSL in such a short time, and now this... I will not accept this... I will not recognize you as a fan!!! *runs at Enn*

MC: Oh shi- *falls down* Mammon!

Mammon: I’m comin- GAH! *slips on some melted ice cream* Dammit! I can’t get there in time... run!

Levi: I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED BY A NORMIE!!! *reaches out hands to wring Enn’s neck*

*Freeze!*

MC: *voiceover* This is me, I know what you’re thinking, this is a huge jump from the last time we left off. Oh dang... I look so scared at that frame... who even got that angle of me? Well they deserve a raise... uhh anywho, you’re probably wondering how I got here... well good, fleeting audience, I shall tell you how.

*rewinds two days and two nights ago*

MC: *groaning, brushing their teeth and getting ready for bed* I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that garlic and ghost pepper devil potato salad... best potato salad I’ve ever had, but feels like a detox coming out... *sprays and finishes up in the bathroom*

???: H-Help... Help me...

MC: *eyes widen* Oh please tell me I’m not in a bathroom fever dream...

???: Please... help... follow my voice...

MC: ... Yeah, cause that always goes well...

*follows to the attic stairs anyway*

Lucifer: *pops up out of nowhere* Go back now. There’s nothing up there for you.

MC: For me? Now you’ve piqued my interest.

Lucifer: Well there’s nothing at the peak for you, go back to your room. Don’t ever go up to the attic.

MC: How do you spell attic, by the way?

Lucifer: ... A-T-T-I-C.

MC: Ah! You naughty boy, why were you looking down there?! *puts hands over chest* My eyes are up here.

Lucifer: *blinks and blushed mad, realizing what he just said* Room. Now.

MC: *tries not to laugh as they go to their room*

—————

MC: *sitting at breakfast, alone with Mammon, zoned out*

Mammon: Hey! Are you even listening to me?!

MC: Hmm? Oh, sorry, as soon you started talking crap about me I kinda just turned your ranting into background noise.

Mammon: ...Well... don’t do that, you don’t just skip over The Great Talkative Mammon’s dialogue, that’s rude.

MC: Did you... really just add another adjective to your Name Title?

Mammon: Yeah, what you gonna argue with The Great Infallible Mammon?

MC: I literally made you enter a pact with me two nights ago.

Mammon: Shut up! Gah! Why did I have to be the one who be paired with you. It’s all Levi’s fault that I’m with you in the first place... no, it’s all Lucifer’s fault... none of this would have happened if it wasn’t for him...

MC: *sighs, and goes on another daydream, he wanted to know how to get past Lucifer*

*Earlier last night*

MC: *Casually walks toward the stairs* Hey Lucifer, can I see what’s upstairs, please?

Lucifer: No.

MC: tch, almost had him... *walks back to room*

*present*

Mammon: ...Lucifer’s color scheme reminds me of those OP DeviousArtsy original characters, like Red and Black? Seriously? Get a better outfit, especially if you’re gonna wear brown shoes, why can’t you wear black, you’re already wearing so much of it! Oh and to top it off, his feet reek... not that I’ve... ever smelled them... but I’m saying it, so it’s true-

MC: Mammon, what’s in the attic?

Mammon: Don’t change the subject, right now we’re discussing Lucifer’s feet, which, by the way, freaking stin- wait what?

MC: ... Mammon. Attic. What’s up there?

Mammon: ... Geez, you really don’t know how to mind your business do you?

MC: I do, but I feel like I’m already more involved than anyone could ever realize...

—————

Mammon: *walking with Enn to Levi’s room* If you wanna get past Lucifer and find out what’s in the attic... You’ll need something that Lucifer wants, and I think I know just who to go to for that something...

MC: *looks at Levi’s room door* ... So why the hell are we outside the Ultimate Otaku’s door? What does he have that Lucifer wants?

Mammon: *whispering* There’s a record of the limited cursed edition of the TSL soundtrack in there, he absolutely loves it, so we just gotta ask Levi for it, it’ll be easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

MC: One, don’t ever say that again. Two, I don’t know how easy it’s gonna be since Levi wants nothing to do with me, and three... oh what the hell. *knocks on the door*

Levi: What’s the secret phrase?

MC: *looks at Mammon* Yeah, Mammon, this sure is gonna be lemon squeezy.

Mammon: Okay, Levi, let us in, it’s The Great Older Brother Mammon, and his pact slave.

MC: *leers at Mammon* You’re about to be the Great Fat-Lipped Mammon in a minute.

Mammon: *shied away a couple of steps* At least capitalize the T in the word The...

Levi: I am known by someone outside the door as the Ultimate Otaku, and to gain entry, you must say the secret phrase.

Mammon: *leers at Enn* So great, he was listening the whole time, and you’re calling me names?

MC: Ugh... umm... Rurichan is bae? Mammon’s an idiot? Enn’s a Normie?

Levi: ... while it is all true, bzzt! Wrong! Access denied.

Solomon: *appears behind them* Well, if it isn’t the celebrity and his newfound pet demon~.

MC: *jumps up, and holds Mammon close to them* Get the hell outta here, Goblin King, we ain’t wishing for nothing.

Solomon: *smirks* Sorry for scaring you, Enn. *knocks on the door* The fifth lord...

Levi: ...couldn’t keep his huge rod in his pants and took the Lord of Corruption’s wife to bed...

Solomon: And for the betrayal done unto his home...

Levi: The Lord of Corruption named him the Lord of Lechery, and cursed him with eternal unattainable climax. Secret phrase approved, welcome to my kingdom.

Solomon: *smirks* Peace out suckas. *hits the whip, and nae-naes backward into Levi’s room*

MC: *still holding Mammon protectively* So the Goblin King had an invitation?

Mammon: *blushing* ... You do know that was the secret phrase right?

MC: ... *knocks on the door* The Fifth Lord-

Levi: Bzzzt! The password has been reset! Bitch you thought! Next time know more about TSL before you try me, normie!

MC: *growls and bangs on the door* GAH! Go to Heaven you K-Pop Justin Bieber!

Mammon: Enn! ENN! Don’t, you don’t wanna get in trouble with Lucifer, not this early in the year... *pulls Enn away*

Levi: *with in the room* You see what I have to deal with? The violent life of the yucky otaku.

Solomon: Hmm...

*interviews*

Solomon: *bursts out laughing* PFFFTHAHAHAHA! K-Pop Justin B-Beihihiberrrr! Oh my god, I have to text that to Asmo... *starts texting* Man, as belligerent as Enn is, they sure know how to roast someone...

MC: Don’t worry, this makes day 4 that he hasn’t noticed. But... I have to find a way to get him to give me the record... God, I don’t know what it is with Levi, he just knows how to push my buttons... have I let him get to me?

—————

Mammon: So... why am I gonna be watching this with that human... and Beel... why are you here?

Beel: A Movie marathon means popcorn, and I had a craving.

Mammon: ... Of course you did.

MC: *comes in with a huge tub of popcorn* Alright, a huge tub of popcorn, extra butter and salt for Beel, a pack of chocolate coins for Mammon, and a sensible bowl of popcorn and soda for myself. Oh, I also made all of us slushees.

Mammon: *blinks* slushees? What are those?

MC: It’s cherry and blue raspberry.

Beel: *eyes widen* Why is it that you continue to amaze me with your snacks?

Mammon: Did you really just ask that question? Did YOU... just ask that question? The bigger question is how did you make these?

MC: Not important. Alright boys, 12 hours ain’t gonna watch itself, let’s get ready... The Tale of The Seven Lords... *presses Play*

————— The next day...

Levi: Human.

MC: *looks at Levi* Wow, look at who decided to grace us with his presence after spending his whole day in his room.

Levi: Don’t talk down to me just cause you have all the time in the world to do what you want, like having a TSL marathon. Totally not fair by the way.

Mammon: Wow, talk about nosy, were you spying on us?

Levi: No, Golden Moron, I heard it from Lucifer.

MC: First of all, don’t steal my joke, I worked hard for that, and second of all, for someone who minds his business, you sure do like knowing everyone else’s.

Levi: I don’t want to hear you talking especially since you are the ruler of not minding your business! Just cause you’re trying to suck up to me, doesn’t mean we’re gonna be all buddy-buddy. So get it through your thick head.

MC: Leviathan, I challenge you to a TSL Fan-Off.

Levi: *blinks* Excuse me? Are you serious? You really think that you, a human normie is gonna out-fan me?! LMMFAO! That’s not even a contest.

MC: Wow, I never knew you were a chicken, Levi.

Levi: ... what?

MC: I’m just saying if you had your own fursona, it would be a chicken. Ba-GAWK!

Levi: ... You take that back. I would N E V E R !

MC: Because you already are Levi, just cause you didn’t accept. An Otaku Chicken, I can see the Fanart now!

Levi: You know what, I was gonna spare you the embarrassment, but now I’m gonna make it my goal to destroy you in that Fan-off, human. When I’m finished with you, your time in the Devildom will be cut short. But, if by some odd miracle you best me, I’ll join Mammon as one of your pacts. Not like it’s ever gonna happen, I mean, I’ve only been following TSL all of a millennia. And that, compared to your 12 hour marathon, should speak to how much more knowledge I have of TSL than you. So let’s see who Fans off more. Student Council hall, today after school, and don’t chicken out.

MC: Heh, just I eat chicken doesn’t mean I am one. I’ll see you then.

*there was an intense stare down, until there was a loud cackling from upstairs*

Asmo: BWAHAHAHA! K-Pop Justin Beiber, I’m done! Solomon, I am done with you! AAAHH! YAAASS!

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allthegodstars · 5 years

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The Queen Of Nothing

He will be destruction of the crown and the ruination of the throne

Oooh someone's feeling salty

Power is much easier to acquire than it is to hold onto. Jude learned this lesson when she released her control over the wicked king, Cardan, in exchange for immeasurable power.

Aren't you just exaggerating Cardan's wickedness now

I mean we all read the bonus content, we know my darling switch of a Fae King hasn't earned the repetitive ‘he wicked he the wickedest he the wickedest wicked wicky wocky of the world's wickedest wicked’ reputation yet.

‘Immeasurable’ is kind of a stretch but you do you.

Now as the exiled mortal Queen of Faerie, Jude is powerless and left reeling from Cardan's betrayal.

Honestly with the amount of times Jude's mortality has been brought up I expect her to die in this one. Or just become immortal. Fire breathing bitch queens live forever yesssss 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

She bides her time determined to reclaim everything he took from her. Opportunity arrives in the form of her deceptive twin sister, Taryn, whose mortal life is in peril.

Oooh Jude's going to reclaim Cardan's heart, body and soul. Cause that's what he took from her 😏

And the motherfucking throne.

I really wish Taryn killed Locke for real reals. I would totally forgive her for everything if she destroyed that dipshit troublemaker. But then again I want him to suffer. So.

How come all the mortals here are in a constant state of imma die now

Jude must risk venturing back into the treacherous Faerie Court, and confront her lingering feelings for Cardan, if she wishes to save her sister.

Oh the whole court's treacherous now? I mean sure the Ghost did us dirty and Cardan went all ‘begone murderess of my heart, torment of my soul, I exile thy booty my sweet wifey look soo many loopholes come back to meeeeeee’ and gah I love him

Taryn is literally the worst twin ever but she's not really part of the court and Madoc is... meh we know what he is.

‘Lingering’? Amazon, let me direct you to a thesaurus because that's definitely no synonym for world ending, soul wrenching, all consuming, eternal and undeniable.

But Elfhame is not as she left it.

Oh of course not, Your Mortal Majesty, of course not.

War is brewing.

Hmm that's nice but can I have a side of angsty hate-to-love-we-wed-for-politics-but-not-really sexy times with a nice, zangy dollop of HEA please and thank you

As Jude slips deep within enemy lines she becomes ensnared in the conflict's bloody politics.

Did she...sneak into Madoc's warcamp? Double agent Jude Greenbriar?

‘My-hubby-who-is-you-know-NOT-my-hubby kicked me out so can I join evil minds with you adoptive father to take down our common, um, enemy? You know you love me and I know you need me so whatcha say wanna go burn down the world’

Divide and conquer? Destroy from the inside? Snek your way to power and eternity? Make Cardan beg and then go for some couple counselling and then reign together forever and ever and ever and produce some cute sassy dramatic little heirs. That last part can be like a hundred years later no problem. Is that the plan, Queen?

Cause if it is...

10000 POINTS TO SLYTHERIN!!!

And, when a dormant yet powerful curse is unleashed, panic spreads throughout the land, forcing her to choose between her ambition and her humanity...

Gods damn it what is this curse anyway I'm tired of theorizing for literally everything from TSC to Endgame to TFOTA. Just gimme it all right the fuck now.

From the #1 New York Times bestselling author Holly Black, comes the highly anticipated and jaw-dropping finale to The Folk of the Air trilogy.

#mine #can't wait to read it #cardan greenbriar #holly black #jude duarte #jude duarte greenbriar #books i adore #epic fantasy #fandom #fangirl #fantasy books #high fantasy #judecardan #jurdan #the folk of the air #the queen of nothing

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reganapologists · 7 years

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Lily of the Nile Blue Eyes

Summary: Negan is freshly widowed, taking Lucille’s passing hard. He’s also the recently made owner of a flower shop. He runs into Rick – a tattoo artist – and suddenly Lucille’s passing isn’t so suffocating anymore. Thanks to Lucille?

Word Count: 2448

Genre: Romance

Pairing: Negan x Rick

Warnings: Modern! AU – so no zombies. Foul Language, Sexual Imagery and Language, Negan being Himself as Always,

Author’s Note: This is a one-shot for Regan Week filling in the AU slot! (Sorry I’m late but my tumblr wouldn’t let me submit!)

Author: @genevievedarcygranger

Tagging: just for those that I think would be interested @purplemuse89 @noodlecupcakes @binegan @crownedcarl @neganstonguething @hatterized @negans-network @ocegion

Sitting in his wife’s flower shop – now his flower shop – Negan wondered what the hell he was supposed to do with it. Lucille was always the florist, the horticulturist with the green thumb. Not only did she run the shop, but she brought her work home, too. Their lawn was the envy of the neighborhood with rose bushes and azalea bushes. Even in their home, they never had plastic plants, always orchids that were meant to die after a year, but Lucille kept alive and watered with an ice cube. There were cacti and hanging ferns everywhere – a damn fucking jungle, Negan would bitch jovially.

Despite all his joking around, Negan didn’t have the heart to tell Lucille no. Lucille was terribly allergic to pet fur, so they never have pets. They never had children either since Negan shot blanks – something he considered lucky in his younger days when he sewed his wild oats without having to worry about any accidents. Since he married Lucille, though, he hated not being able to give her what she wanted. The plants became Lucille’s children instead, and Negan was not allowed to touch them since every time he did, a plant died.

He didn’t mind, there were plenty of other chores for him around the house. But ever since Lucille got sick, they had let Olivia run the shop. Negan tried so hard to keep the plants at home alive as well, but he killed them all. And sometimes he wondered if it was because of him that Lucille died, too.

Did he neglect her? Not exactly, but he did cheat. Funny how soon after the one time he strayed from his wife, she ended up in the back of an ambulance not even a week later. God, he wanted to blame his infidelity on this flower shop so bad. They had been fighting, not unusual for them. Both he and Lucille were emotional and passionate people. That didn’t just mean good sex or loving with all their hearts, but that meant fighting hard, too, and being quick to anger. Usually, they could forgive each other, but they needed time to themselves to do that. The flower shop had been Lucille’s excuse to avoid him – it was prom season, and she had corsages and boutonnieres to make. Sulking, Negan went to the bar in the funk.

That was his first mistake. He shouldn’t have been drinking that much, he knew he had a problem. Lucille hated when he drank. Then the next morning he realized his second mistake. He woke up in a bed that wasn’t his with a woman who wasn’t blonde and wasn’t Lucille. Fuck, he couldn’t even remember her name. Frankie? Tanya? Negan couldn’t even remember if it was a good fuck either. A fuck he couldn’t remember would ruin his marriage – Negan felt damned for that.

When he went home with his tail between him legs, he confessed everything – and Lucille cried and cried. For three days, she pulled long hours at the flower shop, and Negan didn’t go anywhere besides work and his home. But after those three days, she came back and said she forgave him. Negan couldn’t believe his luck or her grace – and he was right about his luck because when he got that call from the hospital, everything from there went to shit.

Stage four ovarian cancer. The doctor gave them their time: three to six months. Dr. Carson was too damn generous in his estimate. Lucille didn’t even make it to two months. Well, Negan was a mess for six months after she was gone, but he never went back to that bar and he never saw anyone else.

He had handled everything at home, but all that was left was Lucille’s business. Olivia had been kept busy, especially during wedding season, but now that it was closer to winter, Negan figured it was time to decide what to do with the shop.

So here he sat, staring at the bills and expenses and profits. Fuck, he was a baseball coach, not a damn accountant. He didn’t know what these meant. Sighing, he looked up at the sign that had the store’s name on it is cute, curly script that Lucille hand painted herself: Lucille’s of the Valley. At the time, he hadn’t understood the play on words, and Lucille teased him so much about it. But now when he stared of it, he thought of how many times he personally put lilies – Lucille’s favorite flower – on her grave. Honestly, he wondered why she didn’t have daisies already springing up. Negan doubted that she’d stop gardening even in death.

Fuck, he missed her. He couldn’t stay here a moment longer, he was starving and just torturing himself as he drowned in memories of her. Negan left the shop in a whirlwind, snatching his black leather jacket up as he walked out the door, heading for his favorite Chinese buffet. It’s a testament to his grief that he hadn’t been there since before Lucille was diagnosed. It was one of their favorite places, less than a block away from her shop that he also avoided like the plague. Well, they had damn good food and Lucille’s ghost couldn’t keep him away from that.

Staring at his shoes, Negan had been so lost in thought that he didn’t look up until after he had already pushed the door open – bell tinkling overhead in a familiar chime – and stepped inside. The smell was the first thing he noticed – not like the familiar cooking oil at all. Secondly, he didn’t hear Chinese music softly playing, but – Kings of Leon?

Then he finally saw that this wasn’t the Hunan at all. Judging by the designs on the wall that replaced the gilded Chinese dragon, this was a damn tattoo parlor. Confused, Negan actually ducked back outside to check and see if he had gone too far, but no, the Hunan had been nestled between The Peletier Laundromat and Morgan’s Cuts (a butcher shop) for forever.

Must have gone outta business without me and Lucille eating here, Negan thought to himself wryly. His mouth twisted, a cheap imitation of his old smile. Negan’s next thought was a lot bleaker.

Nowhere is the same without you, Lucille.

“Excuse me, but did you have an appointment with us?”

Startled, Negan spun on his heel, caught off guard by the question. For some reason he didn’t understand, his feet had carried him back inside of their own accord and now he was standing face to face with one of the most beautiful men he had ever seen. Pretty pink mouth, facial hair lined with almost as much silver as Negan’s was, brown curls clinging to the back of his neck. The bluest eyes he’d ever seen – cornflower blue, Lucille would say, but since Negan has been putting lilies on her tombstone, he would say Lily of the Nile blue. She’d probably get a kick outta that. With a guilty start, Negan immediately felt uncomfortable for wondering what his wife would think of Ol’ Blue Eyes that he was eyeing up while she wasn’t even cold yet.

“Sir?” The man repeated, and cocked his head at him.

Was he staring? Shit, he was staring. “Shit, sorry for loitering,” Negan immediately tore his eyes away and started tapping his hands on the counter, feeling awkward. “I, uh, don’t have an appointment, I just thought this place used to be a Chinese buffet.”

“The Hunan?” Blue Eyes guessed.

Negan clicked his tongue and shot him some finger-guns, “That’s the one. Best fucking egg drop soup and egg rolls in town.”

Amused, Blue Eyes smiled a polite and small smile, barely there and yet just – fucking beautiful. “Yeah, I hear that a lot since we still get a lot of their old customers wanderin’ in as if we still got some fried rice in the back. We don’t by the way, before you ask.”

Surprisingly, Negan wasn’t all that disappointed for the lack of food – or that hungry anymore. Clicking his tongue, he joked, “Damn, and I was in the mood for some kung-pao chicken.”

Blue Eyes batted his eyelashes at Negan’s off-the-cuff cursing, but didn’t seem all that affronted. “I’m more of a shrimp lo-mien guy myself.”

“Gah, I can’t fucking stand seafood. Whenever me and Lucille would go out, she’d get the lobster and I’d get the steak.” Abruptly, Negan stopped realizing what he said. Though Lucille was always on his mind, he didn’t make a habit talking about her. It felt good to say that, but dropping her name so easily while he was flirting – shit, was he flirting? Shit, shit, shit.

“Lucille?” Blue Eyes perked up, and Negan flinched when he used her name. “Is that your wife?” Blue Eyes’ blue gaze pointed flicked down to his left hand where that golden band was still there around his finger. Negan hadn’t had the heart to take it off yet.

“Yeah,” Negan’s voice was thick with emotion when he finally answered. He swallowed everything down before he continued, “She was.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Blue Eyes immediately apologized, “I still wear mine, too.” He showed his own silver band, and Negan marveled at his beautiful hands before even glanced at the ring. “My wife Lori passed almost three years ago. It’s still hard sometimes, but it gets better,” Blue Eyes explains and then those blue eyes go wide. “Oh, I shouldn’t have assumed, you could just be divorced.”

“No, no, she’s dead,” Negan confirmed, confused on how he was feeling since he was feeling so much. “Fucking cancer.”

“Childbirth.” Blue Eyes nodded in understand, and Negan curiously didn’t feel like he was being pitied for once. This man obviously understood the tremendous pain. “Do you have kids?” Blue Eyes asked, southern drawl so soft now, “Lori being gone is harder on my son Carl than it on me.”

“No, we couldn’t have kids,” Negan answered easily enough. He had expected this to be hard, but it wasn’t. It felt good, cathartic to talk about it – especially when Blue Eyes was as easy on the eyes as he was on the ears.

“Oh,” Blue Eyes blinked, apologetic and unsure.

“No, it’s okay,” Negan rushed to assure him and then laughed. “We had fucking plants instead. Helluva lotta flowers. Lucille ran a flower shop.”

“Lucille’s of the Valley?” Blue Eyes exclaimed in seeming disbelief, “I go there regularly. I’ve been wonderin’ why I only ever see Olivia now.”

A little in shock, Negan’s brain processed this slowly. First it was how Blue Eye’s said Olivia’s name with ‘uh’ rather than an ‘o’ sound – it was damn cute in his thick country accent. Then there was the fact that Blue Eyes knew Lucille – and Negan had to wonder if Lucille was playing a trick on him in heaven or something. This was too perfect. Was this a test?

After the moment stretched out a tad too long, Blue Eyes apologized again, “Lucille was a wonderful woman. I doubt she’d ever tell you about me, but I’m Rick Grimes.”

Instantly, it clicked in Negan’s head. Rick, Rick, Rick, he remembers that name, of course he does. Lucille would babble about how some cowboy would ride in and ask for advice on his carrots. At the time, Negan would get jealous at her gushing about another man, and they’d always end up having sex after Lucille dropped his name. Damn. What kind of luck is this? Is it even luck? “Rick Grimes,” Negan licks his lips, his mouth tingling after saying the man’s name. “Lucille fucking loved you. I thought you were a farmer, not a, uh, tattoo artist?”

Blue Eyes – Rick Grimes – blushed a pretty pink, like a carnation. Were carnations pink? Fuck. Why is he getting all poetic and shit. Negan’s thoughts were interrupted when Rick drawled, “Well, I was never a farmer. Sheriff’s deputy. Got injured on the job, couldn’t afford the risk anymore as a single dad. Got a job here. The owner Daryl and I went to art school together.”

“Injured? Shy-eet. There’s a fucking story in there somewhere, Rick.” Negan bowed over, propping his elbows on the counter with his fingers curled underneath his chin, brushing his knuckles through his small beard he’d been growing since Lucille’s funeral. “Also, I thought you cops had to go to some academy or some shit, not fucking art school.”

Rick shifted from foot to foot, blue eyes glimmering at Negan like damn sapphires. “I’m not sure there’s much of a story, um, I’m sorry, I can’t remember your name. I know I heard it before, but I’m terrible with names.”

“Negan,” he introduced himself with a wide smile, and his cheeks actually hurt, he hadn’t smiled this big in too long.

“Negan,” Rick repeated sweetly, and Negan swore that something in his stomach fluttered. What the hell was that?

This was too much, too soon, and Negan really should be heading back to work and get some lunch. A little regretfully, Negan sat back up and listed to one side. “Well, Rick, this was nice, but I really gotta go find some fucking food and head back to the shop.”

Surprisingly, Rick looked a little regretful, too. “Oh, okay. Well, tell Olivia I said hello. I’ll probably swing by some time for some advice on my lettuce.”

Something old and instinctive reared its ugly head in Negan and he barely held back from spouting off that piss-poor excuse for a pick-up line that made Lucille laugh every time: Lettuce fuck. Lame. “Yeah?” Negan said instead, “I hope I’ll see you around the shop then, Rick.”

“What, you don’t want to come back and let me work on ya?”

Honestly, Negan can’t tell if Rick’s flirting until he remembers that Rick is actually a tattoo artist. He wants to believe it is flirting. “Maybe I’ll schedule an appointment for a damn tattoo when I go through my fucking midlife crisis.”

“Can’t be too far away then,” and Rick smiles, eyes crinkling in the corners.

Negan is as astounded as he is delighted by Rick’s behavior. “Fuck you, Rick,” Negan quips good-naturedly, “You’ve got just as much silver in your beard as I do, damn it.”

“Mine are from kids,” Rick smirks, “Doesn’t count.”

Like a shark, Negan grins, and it hasn’t escaped his notice that he’s lingering around. “Uh-huh, and I coach kids, Rick. Another reason I can’t get a tattoo.”

“Not anywhere visible anyway,” Rick countered smoothly, and Negan’s shit-eating grin flashes dangerously. That has to be flirting.

“Uh-huh, I’ll see you around, Rick,” Negan promises.

And Negan keeps his promise frequently and often.

#negan #rick #regan #let them kiss #boyfriends #submission #regan week

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itsdisneymydudes · 7 years

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I’m Gonna Wreck It

Another movie I haven’t seen, another live blog! This week I’ll be checking out Wreck-It Ralph. Truth be told, idk why I haven’t seen this before: video game and arcade jokes? What’s not to love omg.

Oh my god, 8-bit Disney Animation logo with complimentary 8-bit music. It’s perfect.

Wait a minute...is Ralph really the bad guy if the bulldozer moved his stump first? I can kinda understand his aggression seeing as they hit first. He’s only responding...with fists...

Fastest way to get exposition is to have John C. Riley narrate over a video game lemme tell ya. And the premise makes a lot of sense. Ralph does his job. It just so happens that that job is to wreck everything. And get thrown off a roof. Into mud. Medal-less.

Lol @the-kid-who-says-“This animation is so real.” I see you, Disney. I see you.

Whoa. Just whoa. The arcade time lapse is so full of old video game references, there is no way you could catch them all in one viewing. Damn, Disney really went all out with the royalties for this movie. Pac-man, Asteroids, Frogger, TMNT, this is beautiful.

And we’re still less than 3 minutes into this movie. Oh, this is gonna be good.

Aw, Ralph wants to love his job but hates it at the same time. Is this gonna be a mid-life crisis told through video games? Please say yes.

Lolololol this is like a modern version of Toy Story. All the video games come to life once the people leave. Oh and Street Fighter II? That could not have been easy to get in this movie (and they only use it for a quick joke about grabbing a drink after work, too. Now that’s dedication to making your world believable).

I’m loving this translation of choppy 8-bit video game motions into a 3D animated world. It’s a subtle touch, but one that makes everything more realistic imo.

Also, loving the meta-humor where Ralph literally wrecks everything he touches. Even the bushes fall over after he brushes them.

Aw, Ralph’s true motivations are coming through... :(

Lol a Bad-Anon meeting? Idk what’s better: the fact that it’s a play on Alcohol Anonymous or the fact that they used Anon from Internet slang.

Nope, I change my mind. The best part about this is how many video game baddies they have here. Bowser, Kano, Dr. Robotnik, Blinky the Ghost, I just can’t believe it.

Aw, the bad guys are really trying to explain to Ralph why being bad isn’t necessarily a bad thing. That’s nice.

Oh my god, Kano just ripped Zombie’s heart out. That’s hilarious. Fatality (except Zombie is already dead...).

Lol. Thanks, Satan.

I like how everyone freaks out when Ralph says he doesn’t want to be the bad guy anymore. Society has rules, and if Ralph is trying to break them in the slightest (”go Turbo”), then everyone loses their minds. Even for bad guys, you still gotta follow the rules.

Whoa. Blinky is right. Don’t try and change who you are to be better, accept who you are to be a better you. Damn, deep stuff.

AHHH THE BAD-ANON MEETING WAS IN BLINKY’S RESPAWN BOX FOR PAC-MAN. THAT’S ABSOLUTE GOLD.

Oh my god Game Central Station is magnificent. The gates are outlet faces, and there are so many video game characters there. This is amazing.

Lol “All aboard the Soul Train, outlet 12.” Nice throwback.

Oooo a “random security check” always pulling aside Ralph. Not-so-subtle discrimination allegory. I like it. Also, Lara Croft name-dropping is always a good touch.

Sonic is in this movie too??? Marvelous. Simply marvelous.

Holy crap, Q*bert is homeless because their game got unplugged??? Snake too??? Oh my god that’s right in the feels. Aw and Ralph gives them his cherry. That’s so sweet. Gah this is gonna be an emotional roller coaster of a movie.

Lolololol is that supposed to be Skrillex?

Ralph and Felix’s conversation is so awkward. That makes me sad :(

Ah, Ralph is already breaking stuff. Ah and Felix’s respawn animation. Too cute.

Two things: 1) why are the apartment people so effing rude. Were they raised in a bar? Jfc. 2) I’m loving how anti-social Ralph is. Yea, you tell em buddy. Stick it to the man.

As sad as Ralph wrecking the cake is, you gotta appreciate the pixelated cake-splatter everywhere.

Oh my gosh how did I not see this before?! Tapper is an old video game too! Golly gee, references are everywhere!!!

Super mushrooms and Metal Gear exclamation points in the lost-and-found! Brilliant!

Oh, I get it. Hero’s Duty is supposed to be a cross between Halo and Call of Duty. Modern games are in this movie too. Smashing.

Is that Jane Lynch???? Oh heck yes!

“First Person Shooter coming through.” Niceeeeeeee.

This dubstep-space-robot-bug-thingy-shooter sequence is FUCKING AWESOME. HOLY NUTS WHY CAN’T ALL DISNEY MOVIES BE LIKE THIS.

Even in this chaotic shooting game, “formation” and social constructs are paramount. Damn, society. You scary.

Ralph and the “old video games” calling out the “new video games” for being scary. Got em.

Ha. A giant blue beam to zap all the bugs with. Cute.

Subway product placement? Huh. Interesting.

Also, the jerk guys who are clearly way older than the marketed arcade demographic are total jerks. Realistic arcade representation though. Every arcade has em.

Oh snap. Now I know why “sticking to the program” is so important. If games don’t, then they can be shut down for good. That’s so dark, Disney.

Ah now I wanna learn Q*bert-ese. That sounds really fun.

Also, it’s funny to see how much the village people (pun intended) need Ralph now after they berated him for “wrecking everything.” Yea, karma bitch.

I like how smitten Felix is for high-definition characters. Lol innuendo.

Are the cybug eggs supposed to be a reference to the eggs from Aliens? If so, I approve.

Aw, Ralph just wants everyone’s approval. That’s so sad :( Poor Ralph.

The little cybug just jumped on Ralph’s face. Totally a reference to Aliens.

Hahahahaha. Sonic lost his rings!

Sugar Rush is a mix between Mario Kart and Candyland right? That’s sweet (yes, pun intended again).

Also, that’s a theme catchy song.

I can’t believe that’s Sarah Silverman!

Whoa was that a glitch...? Do they have those in this movie?

If cybugs are viruses, does that mean Hero’s Duty is like the Norton Antivirus of the arcade then? Lol that’d be a riveting game.

Pay-to-play for this racing competition seems like it guarantees the richest racers will always race…it’s almost like the top 1% of racers will always stay at the top…hey wait a minute, Disney…

I like how the coins dissolve in to 0’s and 1’s. It’s the little details that make this movie awesome.

Oh no, Ralph’s medal got dissolved…

So Vanellope is a glitch. Whoa.

Haha. The cops are donuts. Got em.

Is that Ralph or Shrek?

AH IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A REPRESENTATION OF POLICE BRUTALITY??? AH DISNEY I SEE YOU

Whoa, glitch discrimination. That’s some deep stuff yo.

THE OREOS ARE FROM THE WIZARD OF OZ I’M GONNA McFREAKIN’ LOSE IT

Children of the Candy Corn? There are so many references in this movie that I highly doubt younger audiences will recognize.

Lol. Fun-geon. Pun-geon. Aha, ok. I’m done-geon. Oh my god. It went full circle.

A Darth Vader breathing reference? What doesn’t this movie have???

Pixlexia? Is that a play on dyslexia?

Holy fuck, these racers are awful. They’re destroying Vanellope’s car just cuz she’s different? WTF.

Yay! Ralph to the rescue!

Haha. Ralph can break everything except a jawbreaker. Just like I remember them.

Oh snap. Nvm, he did.

Why would a creepy character like Turbo be the hero of a racing game? He sure doesn’t look like a hero…

Also, good exposition for the word “Turbo.”

Ahaha. Nesquik-sand. I love Nesquik. But I hate sand. It’s rough. And course. And it gets everywhere (lol, ok I’m done).

Aha Laffy Taffy that laugh. This movie is full of puns too? Oh I am in love.

Aaaaand insert obligatory Disney romance subplot here.

Lol. Gunshots are the fastest way to silence unwanted singing.

Oh my gosh. Candy-cybugs???

Is Vanellope calling Ralph “Knuckles” supposed to be a Sonic the Hedgehog reference? If so, I love it.

Lolololol did she just call him GLaDOS too??? Gold!!!

A game within a game. Game-ception? Nope, a mini-game!

Aw Vanellope and Ralph are bonding.

AW VANELLOPE LOVES THE CAR RALPH MADE FOR HER. THAT’S SO FUCKING PRECIOUS.

I get the vibe I’m not supposed to like King Candy, but his puns save me. Spiritually, ethically, psychologically. Everything.

Ahhhhh the ol’ Mentos and Diet Coke trick. Good one.

Whoa. The parallels between Vanellope and Ralph are striking, sure. But the fact that she can’t even leave her game because she’s a glitch? That’s hard stuff. At least Ralph can go where he pleases. Damn, Disney.

Lol, Vanellope learning to drive is exactly how I was in driver’s ed. “What do these pedals on the floor do?”

Vanellope has a chance to win if she can “get that glitch under control?” That totally undermines the entire message of the movie thus far! What the heck!

AAAAAAAHHHHH THE UP-UP-DOWN-DOWN-LEFT-RIGHT-LEFT-RIGHT-B-A-START CHEAT CODE!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!

Aw, even Vanellope’s code is alienated from the rest of the game…

Lol, come on Felix. Put a trigger warning on before you say “Dynamite gal.”

HOLY FUCK VANELLOPE WILL DIE IF SHE WINS THE RACE. OH MY GOD KING CANDY’S LOGIC MAKES SENSE BUT HOLY FUCK THAT’S AWFUL. JESUS DISNEY WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME.

AAAAHHH VANELLOPE MADE RALPH A MEDAL OH MY GOD THIS IS TOO MUCH

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH RALPH NO NOT THE CAR OH MY FUCKING GOD NO NO NO NO NO

This movie is really sending mixed signals about being bad. Is it good to be bad? Is it bad to be bad? Are bad guys just alone no matter which way they try to be?

Waaaaaiiiit a minute. Why is Vanellope on the side of the arcade game if she’s a glitch? Game makers wouldn’t do that…what’s going on…

Lol, I literally just thought of that Ralph. No fair.

Haha. Candy-coated Heart of Darkness. The horror. The horror.

Jesus, eating Sour Bill is like dunking him in acid. Ralph is twisted, wow oh wow.

Whoa. Jeez how omnipotent is King Candy? He forcibly made Vanellope a glitch, then locked up everyone’s memories of her? Whoa.

The game will reset if Vanellope crosses the finish line? Hm….

Also, nice “stick around” pun, Ralph.

Lol. Felix making the bars stronger is great.

So is Ralph returning to being bad…by doing something good? Again, what is this movie trying to say! Be good or be bad??? Be bad with good intentions??? Jeez, I’ve never had such an identity crisis over a movie before!

Haha. The assorted fans with nuts are the Cameron Crazies. Nice touch.

Ooooooo I love the camera pan-around for the racecars! Just like in Mario Kart!

Ah someone even spun out before the start! Didn’t get the timing right, eh?

Now that’s what I call pod-racing!

Ayyy nice. Vanellope’s glitch moved her ahead of those Mean-Girl-esque candy racers!

Damn, Vanellope is 2 fast 2 furious for King Candy (with a little Tokyo Drift thrown in there for good measure).

Oh my god. It all makes sense now. King Candy is Turbo. He passed his glitch on to Vanellope so she’d be the outcast and not him. But Vanellope inadvertently passed it back to him and exposed him. Whoa.

Oh nice, another literary reference. On the “Come back soon” sign, it says “Parting is such sweet sorrow…” from Romeo and Juliet. Nice one (and a good pun too).

Oh god, Vanellope still can’t leave the game.

No no no she can’t die. No no no don’t do it, Disney.

Oh I see. Ralph is using his bad wrecking powers for good. Ohhhhhh.

Ohhhh snap. Now Turbo is game-hopping virus. Shit.

OH NO. NO NO NO. IS RALPH GONNA DIE???

Oh. He didn’t. Good.

Wait, is Vanellope getting a dress? Aw come on, Disney. I thought we were done with gender stereotyping.

Whoa, what??? Princess Vanellope??? Yo way to go!!!

Yea, Vanellope, yea! Execute those suckers! Fuck em up!!!

Aw, she was just kidding. Darn it.

Lol, constitutional democracy? President Vanellope? Yea, I’d vote for her.

Jesus, even with a happy ending, Disney has to play with my heart. Why does Ralph have to say goodbye. Why why why.

Aw a nice sweet happy ending where everybody wins. Good ol’ Disney.

HOLY CRAP RALPH CAN SEE VANELLOPE RACING WHEN HE GETS THROWN OFF THE BUILDING THAT IS SO FREAKING CUTE OH MY GOSH

AHHHHH WHAT A PERFECT ENDING. WHAT A PERFECT LAST LINE. AHHHHH THIS MOVIE IS SO PERFECT. I CAN’T HANDLE THIS RIGHT NOW GAAAAAHHHHHH

OH MY GOODNESS JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THIS MOVIE COULDN’T GET ANY BETTER. THE PAC-MAN ENDGAME GLITCH IS AT THE END OF THE CREDITS DURING THE DISNEY LOGO. HOW PERFECT IS THAT!?!?!? AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

This movie is beautiful. Just simply beautiful.

#itsdisneymydudes #wreck it ralph #i'm gonna wreck it #ralph #disney #video games #10/10 #highly recommend #when is wreck it ralph 2 coming out #not soon enough

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