#funny grandma stories

[carriejonesbooks]

Strange and Funny Grandma Stories

Strange and Funny Grandma Stories

It’s time to talk about grandmothers. They can be strange. They can be blunt. They might even smoke blunts. We were live. It was fun. Have a listen. RESOURCES WE MENTION 16 Stories About Grannies Who Made The Childhood Of Their Grandchildren Unforgettable https://notalwaysright.com/tag/grandparents/page/2/ What’s a funny story about your grandma? from…

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#carriejones #funny grandma stories #grandma stories #live podcast #Loving The Strange #podcast #strange grandma stories

[crybaby-bkg]

When you daughter gets her first period, you’re not there. Somewhere on the other side of the country doing pro hero shit, thankfully at the end of it, as all you can do now is lay in bed and wait to leave out so you can catch a flight back.

Bakugou, on the other hand, is at home with your kids. He’s mid flip of a pancake when he hears a bloodcurdling scream come from the direction of his eldest’s room. Immediately, he’s flipping off the stove and dashing upstairs, calling her name, panicking even more when she only garbles out a shaky help.

But when he gets there, he’s expecting everything—a villain, a huge bug, her little brother holding a booger to her face. What he doesn’t expect is to see her still on the toilet, teary eyed and sobbing, and a mess all over the bathroom.

“What the hell did you do?” He asks exasperated, but her even harder sob stops him in his tracks. He eyes her up and down, trying to figure out where the cut is and—oh. Oh, that’s what this all is. Immediately, he’s reeling, questioning, how the hell could his baby girl get her period so early? Is it really around that time? What the fuck is he supposed to do? Where are you? Does he throw a tampon at her and run for the hills to get some chocolate and ice cream??

But he remembers you in that moment. Remembers the early stages of your relationship where all you would ask for is him to be calm and understanding, for him to be gentle and quiet, for him to hand you your toiletries under the sink on the right side, start the washing machine, warm up his hands to be your personal heating pad. And he does just that, despite your daughter panicking and crying about not wanting to start her period just yet, he’s gentle with her. Soothes her, brushes back thick blond curls and kisses her forehead before he calls you from her phone to walk her through the process of cleaning herself up.

By the time you come home, they’re both laid on the couch. Despite her age and size, she’s cuddled up against her dad, damn near his twin, sleeping soundly as he grins at you when he sees you. He rubs a soothing hand on her lower back, and you kiss her cheek before planting one on his waiting lips.

“How’d you handle her first period, pops?” You ask him playfully in a whisper as you look over your daughter, still unbelievable that she’s growing up so fast right before your eyes. Bakugou scoffs though, cocky, as he brings you down for another kiss to mutter against your lips,

“Like a fuckin’ champ. Only got through it because I thought about you and the ways you want me to help.” His voice gets softer by the end of his sentence, and it’s enough to make you melt into him. He’s a good husband, you think, but an even greater dad. You couldn’t have asked for anyone better than the man you loved most in the world.

#I tried not to be too graphic but still wanted to get the message across!! #I thought about this earlier bc my cycle is kicking my ass #also my first period story is so funny to me bc #as soon as I saw blood I called for my grandad???!? lmfao why would I call him???? #and he IMMEDIATELY was like lemme get your grandma 🏃🏼 lmfao #but yes this was sweet to write #but I have a headache now :( #I’m gonna lay down and read as much as I can!! #tw: periods #tw: period talk #tw: blood #just to be safe even tho I don’t think I used the word blood?? #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #bakugou treats! 🍬 #dad bkg

[call-me-cosmic]

In honor of Pedro’s newest (and perhaps greatest) role as Tim Rockford from the Merge Mansion mobile game. What a time to be alive.

#procreate #digital art #sketch #art #pedro pascal #merge mansion #mobile games #this is so funny #help lmao #tim rockford #detective story #mystery #apple pie America #artist #digital artist #artist support #digital art sketch #artwork #grandma did it #investigation #crime drama #grandma has committed so many war crimes #pedro pascal my love #the hero we need #go get em #drama #merge mansion what are you doing #downloading immediately #not really but #call-me-cosmic

[powerup-the-revolution]

smug bastard muzan is my new favorite thing of all time

#i'm kidding it's inosuke playing the drums with chopsticks and telling his grandma she should come see him #but that's for another post #i'm sorry but kimetsu gakuen > all it's so cute i'm DYING #the story is so funny they're having an actual Arc for the first time and it's so good #muzan kibutsuji #kimetsu gakuen #kimetsu academy #kimetsu no yaiba #many thanks @mtisuris on twitter for the translation

[spawksstuff]

The De Completionist Checklist Part 2/?

1950-1952

Note on the dates: I will mostly be going by when a show/movie was shot (or when De was signed to do it) rather than it's release date.

My score: 4 / 9

Need To Find: Taxi, Danger, Plainsclothesman, Armstrong Circle Theatre - Breakaway, The Web

Favorite Movie: N/A

Favorite TV Show: The Lone Ranger Death in the Forest

Favorite Quotes:

"(Chuckling) Why you healthy old hypochondriac..." (The Lone Ranger)

"Well what do you know, I can't even afford to die!" (Little Theatre)

#deforest kelley #baby!de #the lone ranger #shows that I didn't even know existed #look grandma walton peter's doing the best he can #at least he still has a sense of humor? #laughing instead of crying #little theatre #funny story- de had actually never seen it #friend in long beach got a copy of it and showed him years later (long after star trek)

[marblerose-rue]

click for better quality!!

rosetail + bonus kits / request

name one thing better than a good story . ill wait . there isnt

#my art #do not copy trace or steal #rosetail #cinderpelt #brightheart #brackenfur #thornclaw #THIS ISNT MY FIRST TIME DRAWING THE FROSTFUR KITS TOGETHER but i think it got deleted with my old art blog #i kept all of the files of course but . i think ive improved a lot in terms of anatomy and design #BUT ANYWAY do you think the elders told kits/apprentices embarrassing stories about themselves to make them feel better about like. how #theyd do in their apprenticeship/as a young warrior #or just embarrassing stories to get them to laugh #LEADING TO THE POINT I WANT TO MAKE my grandma told me she met her life long best friend when they got into a fistfight in high school #idk who won but but ohh my god it was always my grandmas favorite story to tell and she loved her best friend so much #i dont think my grandma would mind me telling tumblr i think shed find it funny . i also was her favorite grandchild so i also get an extra #pass on that . and it was never up for debate either everyone on my dads side knew and when she passed and my grandpa brought her jewelry #up for us to come get he called for me first and said she wouldve wanted me to get first pick #WHICH SOUNDS LIKE I GOT MORE THAN I DID but i didnt i cant wear normal earrings and thats what she had a lot of #this is just me talking about my grandma at this point in the tags BUT its relevant (to me) and she was also a hoot

[foldingfittedsheets]

One time my brother (asshole) decided that because we have native ancestry (questionable, pretty sure grandma was lying) he wanted to try eating more foods off the land (what). To this end he started eating unidentified seedpods and nuts (who does this??) he found on the ground (in a parking lot) near the auto shop where he worked downtown (fully in a city). He made himself wretchedly ill (duh, it’s fucking random plant shit) but only stopped because they all tasted bad (NONE OF IT WAS EDIBLE).

#he doesn’t believe in vaccines in case anyone was wondering #story #funny #we’re Mexican and the women in my family have had pretty questionable taste in men which has led to some outlandish stories about ancestry #great-grandma used to be like your great-grandpa was descended from a native princess and COLOR ME SKEPTICAL

[manicpixxiedreambitch]

I’m pretty sure God is scared of my grandma. She has had a heart attack, been hit by a car, has had multiple severe trips to the hospital, smoked since she was a teenager, and done the whole “Help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” thing at least 12 times now, and she is still alive, healthy, and very much kicking.

Is she even mortal at this point?

#my grandma #God really looked at her and said No You Stay Down There #she actually hit herself with her car #and turned her heart attack story into a funny story

[regicidal-defenestration]

Saw a "Doctor Who Facts You Might Not Know" type post and like. One of the facts. I don't have the book on me to check. But I'm one of their fun facts is from the Fourth Doctor Mister Men book

#this is by no means a bad thing I just forget they actually exist in the world and not just on my shelf as a gift from my grandma ages ago #on a related note the Eight book is so funny it contains; of all enemies; the Silurians and Sea Devils #no companions no other characters just those. I don't even know if I can name another story with them and Eight in #the perils of making a fun little gift book aimed at a wide audience about a character from a critical flop of a film and niche eu stuff

[blueskyheadleft010]

My great grandmother didn’t have a television in her home until sometime in the nineties, and my aunt loves to tell the story about how she reacted to it once they got it installed and turned it on.

Now, my great grandmother had definitely seen and knew what a television is, she’d just never owned one. She’d grown up living on a farm and didn’t have much time to do other things except take care of her large family and cook and clean, etc.

Anyways, my aunt had turned it on to some fictitious detective criminal show and then left to go do something real quick. When she came back she saw that my great grandmother had an angry look on her face and the tv was turned off.

She didn’t even get to ask her what was going on before she’d stood up suddenly and yelled aloud about how she was super done with television because ‘those stupid people were doing such stupid things and it made me so angry and they’re not even real! I don’t even know them!’, and then stormed out of the room.

My aunt managed to settle her down after she changed the channel to a game show, but I regularly quote her statement about ‘X isn’t even real! I don’t even know them!’ Because that was such a thing she would just casually say during an outing all the time lol.

#storytime #it late #sky rambles #great grandmother #tv shows make you feel things #true story #funny things #wholesome #when the mirror neurons kick in a little too hard #lmao #my great grandma was a hoot #lived a good long life #god bless her soul

[saxifactumterritum]

I'm watching Magpie Murders (I gotta tell you WHY but I'll do that in the tags like a cultured bitch), and all I now am considering is Super Smart Jeeves being a private investigator super famous etc and his daft and dopey assistant Bertie Wooster. Bertie can still be rich and posh and all, he hired Jeeves once and now just sort of hangs around and trails after him.

They are gay and have lots of great gay times obviously also.

#jeeves and wooster #im watching Magpie Murders because my grandma watched some and tried to explain it to me and hooo boy she did not enjoy this #actually that's pretty much the whole reason. Not much of a funny story. she also said it didnt make sense and #was a woman investigating a writer who wrote a murder book about a detective who was writing a murder book and everyone died and she didn't #think you can tell what is fictional and which is true and which of the four (five?) times (fictions?) was happening on the screen #which sounded bananas so i thought yes off the rails terrible tv that is for me #the new Jeeves and Wooster au TV show that is now in my brain is a bonus! I can watch that in the hours i am not watching real TV #Jeeves the private detective au

[mihai-florescu]

Call me shu itsuki the way my grandfather cheated on my grandmother

#its funny she outlived his alcoholic and abusive ass despite having a brain tumor doctors diagnosed as hysteria and depression #this is my other grandma for whoever is keeping track #this grandpa was related to a famous ro musician tho so. thats the only good thing i know about him... #the other peepaw i never met but if he put up with my crazy ass grandma i think he mustve also been quite crazy #theyre quite taming of the shrew themselves because no normal person can reign in my grandma #the grandma who wanted plastic surgery in her 60s to be pretty in the coffin when we'll mourn her and who used to tell me she doesnt want- #to be eaten by worms so shed rather crash a plane into the mountains where her corpse will freeze instead and be untouched by pests #which is all normal and will surely not impact this kid you are raising for 3-4 months every year #anyway i dont think there are any illegitimate kid stories in my family tho

[shooting-stars-only]

When my parents first got together, they visited my dad's parents on Easter Sunday (not on purpose, it just happened to be Easter). My grandmother, whose entire social circle was Jewish, leaned across the table and said to my Catholic-raised mother, "Jenny, I have got to ask, what is with the rabbits and eggs? Rabbits don't even lay eggs. Chickens would make more sense. And what does that have to do with Jesus?"

My mom explained the pagan origins of those classic Easter symbols. My grandmother listened, and when my mom finished, she sat back, threw her hands in the air, and said in a tone of great disgust, "Christians! They steal everything!"

#my mom telling me this story when i was a kid is how i learned about easter as a christian holiday #before that i genuinely thought it was just a fun day for treats and scavenger hunts (i was about 5 at the time) #anyway! i think of this every easter. rip grandma you were so funny #self.txt

[tea-cat-arts]

If Cloud Retainer’s human form really ends up being the only Fu Hua we get in Genshin, I’m gonna have to fly to China to fist fight a Mihoyo executive

#honkai impact #genshin impact #Genshin leaks #please Mihoyo you can’t do this to me #you already slandered her adopted brother #don’t do this to her too #though I do find it funny that the other flame chasers have gotten to be these god adjacent beings while Genshin Su is just some guy #unless something ends up happening to Alhaitham in the next update and he somehow stops being human #we’ll see I guess #but man #how’d Genshin Fu Hua end up being basically this annoying grandma who can’t stop talking about her kids embarrassing stories??? #the disrespect #in the same way I like Alhaitham just not as an adaptation of Su #I like Cloud Retainer just not as an adaptation of Fu Hua

[wheatormeat]

Every color of the rainbow!

#illustration #my art #digital art #ootd #funny story about the purple one is my grandma sent shirts from China but neither she nor the companies that made it speaks English so now #I just have a bunch of shirts with half english and half whatever #It's like reverse white ppl with random chinese character tattoos but I think this is much funnie #r #I call this the yi gender pack #original art

[selvepnea]

A strange shirt sort of dream?

#Sel talks #dream journal #I'm pretty sure that's the trash I used #Anyway! #I can't remember the dobby of the dream too well #But for some reason I had 2 bibis (bibii?) But I end up picking both of them up and walking up to the bathroom mirror; like I'm filming a o #Something; saying like “wow! Your mom lets you have 2 bibis??” And I see myself in the mirror (strange!) #And I have a funny little stash growing (along w a weird mullet thing going) #I start thinking something like 'oh its growing in well!' And start to remember my grandma commenting on it? Implying I should shave it? Ca #Shouldn't have mustaches? And then thinking how ridiculous that was cause I really liked how it was looking? Or something? #I didn't really have any strong gender... connotations? To my facial hair? #It's especially strange cause I can't really remember a time where I've seen myself in a dream? #But besides that; I remember using the bathroom a lot. I think I was in some sort of class at one point? I think we were sharing plant #Stories? And I was worried cause I only had a dill plant and I didn't like dill all that much #I also remember putting off planing some herb plants until the end of my dream (right after the fun 2 bibis scene) where I really wanted to #Get that started? But there was strange dream magic that prevented me from starting that. #Anyway! I'm sure the lesson here is I need to get another bibi and I'll finally have such gender