Wherever You Go Chapter One
Tom “Iceman” Kazansky x Aviator!reader (Callsign: Thorn)
Moodboard by @bradshawsbaby
Written for @roosterforme’s Top Gun Rocktober Playlist Fic Challenge
Synopsis: Tom Kazansky made a mistake.
Or rather, a series of mistakes.
He chose to take the assignment as an instructor at TOPGUN.
He fell in love with one of his students.
He broke her heart.
He chose to leave TOPGUN, and redeploy.
Now, he was stuck onboard the USS Nimitz with the woman whose heart he broke, with no way out.
Unbelievably, that’s not the problem.
Problem is, he still loves her.
Series Warnings: Teacher/Student relationship (but you already knew that) with no real age gap, warnings will be updated as the series progresses.
Warnings: Here be cursing, because these are people in the Navy.
I don’t think there’s anything else, though.
Author’s Note: “It’s only going to be a oneshot.”
Yeah, freaking right.
This took forever (become a church musician, they said, it’ll be fun, they said, you’re in charge of the choir for the Advent season and Christmas while the choir director is on medical leave), but I’m fairly happy with how this turned out.
I think.
The impostor syndrome do be impostoring.
Thank you so, so very much to @roosterforme for hosting the Top Gun Rocktober Fic Challenge, and for allowing me to use one of my favorite 80s rock ballads, “The Flame” by Cheap Trick.
Lyrics from the song will be peppered in throughout this series, because it’s too good not to, and the song is the reason this story exists, as it is what birthed the plotline.
A huge thank you and shout out to @thatsrightice, who helped me so much with the hop maneuvers, by researching the F-14 and A-4 high and low for me.
Special thanks also to @valmare, the fact that I am writing Tom Kazansky x reader! fic is all your fault; but thank you so much for dragging me down with you, it’s been an absolute joy!
Previously on “Wherever You Go”…
And as he ate Carole’s heavenly consolation in a cookie, Tom reflected on just how he’d ended up in this position.
Two months ago…
“So, you looking forward to teaching the next generation of stick jocks like us, Ice?” Mav spoke, barely intelligible around the food he had in his mouth.
“I’m sorry, I don’t speak whatever language that was, because it definitely wasn’t English.” Tom deadpanned, looking up from his forkful of the fairly-decent facsimile of scrambled eggs from the famed Officer’s Mess Hall of NAS Miramar.
Mav rolled his eyes and hastily swallowed his own forkful of eggs. “I said, are you looking forward to teaching the next generation of pilots like us, Ice?”
“Like me?
Yes.
Like you?
No.”
With Slider’s approval, he had taken the instructor assignment after it was offered to him shortly after the Layton, he and Slider wanting a little stability for two or three years—maybe even four—the Layton mission having shaved off what felt like a whole decade from their lifespan.
The fact that he was going to be able to fly and show off—sorry—instruct, was a nice bonus.
And the fact that his wingman, the only other pilot who could hold a candle to him, was also an instructor, was another plus.
They’d kick the asses of the hotshots they were going to teach, no problem.
“Oh, come on, you know I’m the best,” Mav grinned, nearly maniacally.
Tom put his scrambled eggs in his mouth, and made a show of chewing and swallowing, before replying, “Second best,” gesturing with his fork.
“I’m the best and you know it,” Mav practically vibrated.
Tom squinted at his wingman. “How much sugar did you put in your coffee?”
The other pilot froze guiltily. “I’m sorry.”
He sighed—hyper Mav was even more of a chaotic gremlin than normal Mav.
The younger man had an incredibly high, almost unnatural, tolerance for sugar, but put enough of it in his system, and you got one Pete Mitchell who could fly without a jet.
Tom had personally seen the other man put what seemed like half a sugar bottle in one cup of coffee. “Why?”
Mav pouted, looking like a child, and not the twenty-four year-old naval aviator he was. “I just wanted to indulge myself a little, Ice, ‘cause, you know, we’re instructors—together—we’re gonna kick ass—it’s gonna be great!”
“I know we’re gonna kick ass, but you’re not going to be able to instruct if you’re vibrating so much they can’t even see you,” Tom chuckled, shaking his head, trying to figure out how he could burn off Mav’s extra energy before they, along with Viper and Jester, had to head to the classroom to greet their new students later that morning.
“I know—but I just wanted something a little sweet as a treat,” Mav murmured, green eyes cast down and glazed with shame, and he got a glimpse of the child his wingman must have been over fifteen years ago.
He softened on the younger pilot, and reached out to ruffle the raven hair with a soft smile. “‘m not mad at you, Mav, it’s okay.”
Mav pulled away with a grimace and a slap at Tom’s hand, before fussing with his dark hair, but the familiar light returned to the other man’s eyes, though with considerably less mania than two minutes ago.
They continued eating, but Tom’s devious side reared its head. “You do know what this means, though, right?”
“Wha’?”
Tom nearly laughed right there.
Mav had half a forkful of eggs balanced on his lower lip.
“You and I are going to go for a little run around the south hangars, to burn off that energy.”
An intense green stare fixed on him, clearly considering. “Okay, fine—I might… might have overdone it a little bit with the sugar packets.”
“A ‘little’, huh?
Good for you, bud, getting more self-aware.”
“Fuck you, Kazansky,” Mav smirked.
“No thanks, not in the mood,” Tom grinned. “Come on, finish up, so we can get a decent shower after our run.”
“You okay there, old man?” came the smug voice not far above his head.
“Two—two years, that’s all you have on me, Mav,” Tom muttered, massaging the ankle and knee of his right leg, stretched out on the bench of the instructor’s locker room, mentally cursing the old injuries he’d sustained there from a bad ejection he and Sli endured during one of their first deployments, on the Constellation, when the arresting gear failed because a new crewman didn’t check the weight on the valve of the wire.
It was why he had to wear a wrap on his knee and ankle whenever he and Slider played volleyball.
Mav continued, “You know I was gonna kick your ass running even if I wasn’t amped up on sugar, right?
Tall people wear out faster—that’s what you get for being freakishly tall.”
Tom frowned. “If I’m freakishly tall, what’s Merlin?”
Long pause.
Smirk.
“No,” Mav accusingly pointed, “I refuse to fall for that—I will not speak ill of my RIO, even though I’m his teacher.”
Tom chuckled.
Merlin had been lucky to be selected for TOPGUN again, though it was with the caveat that he wouldn’t be able to win the trophy in his session, as his pilot was going to be an instructor.
Merls had taken it well in stride, glad to be at TOPGUN, even if it meant he’d only graduate, as a reserve RIO for his session.
“Hey, did you hear?
History’s being made this session—we’re teaching the first female naval aviator selected for TOPGUN,” Tom remarked, once he’d eased the ache in his knee and ankle.
“Yeah, I know—and I know her; hell of a pilot,” Mav nodded. “Hell of a woman too.”
“Oh?” a blond brow rose wryly.
“Yeah, I met her two or so years ago, when the Black Aces chopped in on the Big E.
Callsign’s Thorn.
And don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
Mav’s voice was slightly muffled as he dug through his locker for a stick of deodorant. “Like you think I know her… carnally.
Contrary to popular belief, I don’t flirt with any woman with a pulse.”
“Only most,” Tom nodded sagely, a smirk tugging his lips, even though his wingman couldn’t see it.
A finger was flipped in his direction over a shoulder. “Get in your khakis already, Icy-Hot-Man.”
He rolled his eyes, “Fuck you, Mav.”
“No thanks, not in the mood,” Mav threw back, and the shit-eating grin was audible in his voice, which made Tom secretly smile, to know his wingman and brother was happy.
After the two of them managed to get into their khakis in record time, they came up to the building with their classroom right with Jester and Viper, who spotted them and waved off their salutes. “Kazansky, Mitchell.
It’s good to see you both.
You ready.”
It was more statement than question, but despite the stoicism on the Vietnam veteran’s face, Tom could see the pride in his CO’s eyes, and the added glint of paternal pride, when he looked at Mav.
Though it made him sad to see that, reminding him of what he used to have, Tom was glad that the other aviator had a paternal influence in his adult life.
He’d had one before—Mav, on the other hand, hadn’t.
He really missed his Dedushka.
He pushed the thought away in time to see Viper gesture to follow him and Jester inside.
They all slipped their garrison caps off once they were under the fluorescent lights of the building, and the classroom door was in sight after a short walk.
“Alright,” Viper sighed, gaze running across all of them, a smile reminiscent of his callsign on his face, “time to school another batch of hotshots.
Let’s begin.”
The two wingmen exchanged a little grin, before squaring their shoulders and following Jester inside as Viper trailed behind.
“ATTENTION!!” Jester barked, striding to the front, Tom and Mav moving to the right side of the classroom, opposite the TV, following the order like everyone else in the room.
“At ease.”
At this, they all moved to parade rest, Tom and Mav having the luxury of clasping their hands before them, while Jester picked up a clipboard. “I will be calling out the driver and RIO teams.
After I call both your names, make yourselves known.
Lieutenant Solomon Bates, callsign “Warlock”, and Lieutenant Junior Grade Kenneth Han, callsign “Shogun”.”
“Present, sir!” an Asian man about Tom’s height, and a tall African-American man enthusiastically chorused.
“Lieutenant Stephen Ruth, callsign “Babe”, and Lieutenant Junior Grade Timothy Martin, callsign “Priest”.”
“Here, sir!”
“Lieutenant Edward Arellano, callsign “Belter”, and Lieutenant Junior Grade Gabriel Presleigh, callsign “Elvis”.”
“Yes, sir!”
Lieutenant Henry Baker, callsign “Snackbar”, and Lieutenant Junior Grade Matthias Novak, callsign “Links”.”
“Sir!”
“Lieutenant Julian Howell, callsign “Ash”, and Lieutenant Junior Grade Randall Simmons, callsign “Igor”.”
“Up and ready, sir!”
The pilot, Howell, it was plain to see, had an arrogant, smug look on his face, almost like he felt it was inevitable he’d be at TOPGUN, and Tom sent Mav a sideways glance, which the other man returned.
Any hop with that particular pair was going to be interesting, and it was clear from the look on his wingman’s face, that his immediate dislike of the pilot was shared by Mav.
Tom looked forward to him and Mav educating Howell as to who were the best pilots, in the final hops.
“And finally, Lieutenant __ __, callsign “Thorn”, and Lieutenant Junior Grade Emmett Kinford, callsign “Romeo.””
“Yes, sir!” came a resonant alto and an even, low baritone, the call jarring insofar as it was to hear a woman’s voice mixed with that of a man’s in this room, heretofore the demesne of men.
Both had even expressions on their faces, pilot and RIO gazing straight ahead, while the OCD part of Tom’s mind registered that their khakis were in better form than even his own, ribbons not the slightest bit out of place, with creases you could cut yourself on, and that was saying something.
Her hair was carefully pulled into the regulation tight bun, not a single strand out of place, and her RIO’s dark waves were also the picture of military perfection.
“You may be seated.” Jester said after a beat, casting his gaze shrewdly around the room. “I am Commander Rick Heatherly—callsign Jester.
I am the Executive Officer of Fighter Weapons School, known to all naval aviators as TOPGUN, and your Lead Opposing.
Each one of you have been selected for a very specific reason; to become the best of the best’s best.
Blinds.”
The room went dark as the blinds were shut, and the familiar video began playing, the familiar speech being recited.
Soon, Jester finished his speech, calling for the blinds to be opened.
Light flooded into the room, and Tom fought to look dignified, not squinty, even as the sun assaulted his eyes.
“I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce you to your Junior Instructors, and this school’s Secondary Opposing; Lieutenant Tom Kazansky, callsign “Iceman”, and Lieutenant Pete Mitchell, callsign “Maverick”, last year’s Top Gun, and second place finisher respectively—”
Both he and Mav somehow straightened further, nodding professionally at their class.
“—and finally, our Commanding Officer here at TOPGUN, the very first man to win the Top Gun Trophy; and there is not a finer naval aviator in the world.
Captain Mike Metcalf—callsign “Viper”.”
Viper strode in and told the first class of ‘87 much the same things he did the flyboys of ‘86, and they all turned to get a good look at the Top Gun Trophy, whose newest brass plaque bore the engraving “LT T. Kazansky & LTJG R. Kerner — 1986”.
“You think your names are going to be up there?” Viper gazed speculatively at the class.
However, this time, no one filled the silence with an affirmative response—unlike Mav the year before—though Ash and Igor had hungry and yet self-assured looks in their eyes.
“Well, regardless of whose name ends up in brass at the end of these five weeks, at the end of the day, you—we—are all on the same team.
Gentlemen—and lady,” Viper nodded towards Thorn, “this school is about combat—there are no points for second place.
Dismissed.”
“Report to the quartermaster for your housing assignments, you’ll have today to get settled.” Jester called out to the room at large, “and remember, tomorrow’s first class starts at 0800.”
Most of the class quickly shuffled out of the room, but not before a few of them shot Thorn and Romeo, both of whom were still seated, skeptical—and in Ash and Igor’s case, outright dirty—looks, looks which she ignored, though one would have to be blind not to notice the protective menace emanating from her RIO despite the similar expression of indifference on his features.
But once her classmates had filed out, Thorn looked towards him and Mav, her indifference giving way to a radiant smile.
“Mav,” she exclaimed, striding over.
“Acey!” his wingman laughed, pulling her into a hug, briefly lifting her a slight distance off the floor.
“Fuck, it’s good to see you!”
“You too—it’s been too long.”
“Yeah—” here her expression sobered, “and I’m so sorry—I heard about Nick—Ro and I couldn’t believe it.”
“Nick was a great guy, it was such a shock—damn canopy of all things,” Romeo said, having walked over to give Mav a warm pat on the shoulder.
“Thanks,” Mav breathed evenly, a bit too evenly for Tom’s liking. “Oh, uh, Thorn, Romeo, this is my f-friend and wingman, Tom Kazansky.”
All too glad to take the spotlight to give Mav time to breathe, he stepped forward, extending his hand. “You can call me Ice, it’s good to meet you.
Mav’s told me about you, Thorn.”
“Oh?
Only good things, I hope,” she said, shaking his hand.
Her hand had the same callouses he and most fighter pilots had—which gave him a bit of cognitive dissonance, because he was used to only feeling those callouses on other men—with a strong grip, and a confident posture as she looked up at him.
“Practically praised you to the stars and back,” he smiled, letting go of her hand.
“Hello, I’m chopped liver,” Romeo wryly stated as he shook Tom’s hand. “Call me Ro.”
“You’re hardly chopped liver, Ro, you’re the sixth best RIO I know,” Mav interjected, his voice and breathing seeming more like baseline.
“Thank you, I guess?” Romeo frowned.
Thorn broke in, “I gotta admit, for a second, I was kind of worried that you’d suddenly become too good for the likes of me and Ro, Mr. TOPGUN-Instructor and Three-Confirmed-Kills, I swear, Mav, that was the stillest I’ve ever seen you.”
The aforementioned man shrugged. “That’s Ice’s influence.
Got to stand still so you hotshots have a chance to admire us.”
Thorn huffed a light-hearted laugh, but Mav continued, “And I only got those kills thanks to this guy.
I had to lead some of the MiGs away so that he could have one all to himself,” Mav beamed, waggling his eyebrows.
Thorn blinked, “Oh yeah, you’ve got one too.”
Before he could reply, Mav proudly cut in, “Yes, he does—and this guy held out against five MiGs.”
“Sli and I’d have burned in if you didn’t get there in time, Mav,” Tom said, determined that his wingman would get the praise he deserved.
Said wingman turned, eyes narrowed hopefully. “Is this you admitting I’m the better pilot?”
He scoffed lightly, “Any pilot would have trouble against five adversaries, the best or not.”
“I’ll get you to admit it one day,” the diminutive pilot muttered.
Tom clapped Mav on the shoulder. “Today is not that day, buddy.”
Another huffed laugh had the two wingmen remembering that their students were still in the room.
Romeo was shaking his head in the way of those who have fondly dealt with the inimitable Pete Mitchell, and Thorn had a small smile on her face, but it was no less bright than the one she had when she greeted Mav. “You look good, Mav.”
“Uhh… thanks?
But I always do.”
Thorn scoffed, and Romeo rolled his eyes so hard, Tom was surprised the RIO didn’t pull something.
She turned to him, a look in her eyes that spoke as if he had passed some test he didn’t know about, turning the tables on him, her instructor, and they weren’t even in the air yet. “You keep taking care of this Firebird for me, huh?”
Something about receiving her unsought approval shot a bolt of feeling through him, searing through his being, like standing in the middle of a lightning storm. “Of course.”
“Good,” she breathed, her small smile turning to a grin. “I guess—I guess Ro and I better go, because I’m sure our classmates got the good housing already.”
“We’ll accompany you to your housing, once you get your assignment—the uh—” he cleared his throat and sniffed, “the housing here is laid out pretty weird.”
Tom could feel Mav’s gaze snap to him at a practically supersonic speed, but he ignored it, in favor of shooting Thorn a charming, if not slightly awkward, smile.
Her head tilted at a slight angle, keen gaze analyzing him like he was some sort of problem she couldn’t quite solve. “If that’s what you want to do with your time, sure thing, sir.”
His brain shut down on him for a split second, for some odd reason, but he managed to evenly reply, “We’re the same rank.”
“That shiny Junior Instructor title of yours begs to differ, but whatever you say… sir.”
A nudge at his side snapped him out of whatever strange fugue his brain was trying to drag him into.
He’d have to get more sleep, he figured.
“What’d I tell you, Ice?
Sometimes I wonder if Acey here should have been the Firebird instead of me—because I’m well on my way to becoming an ace, as you all know,” Mav declared.
“Imagine being deployed with this for months,” Thorn sighed, but with a teasing glimmer in her eyes.
“Imagine agreeing to get stationed with him, and being his wingman,” Tom reparteed.
“Oh, I can,” she nodded knowingly. “I have stories, by the way.”
“Oh?
Do tell,” he grinned, playfully ignoring the groan from his wingman.
She blinked, her expression frozen for a split second, before she gestured to the aisle, “Mind if we walk and talk?”
“At your leave, Lieutenant.”
She shook her head slightly, but strode onwards, their strides matching in less than half a beat. “So there was this one incident with some shaving cream…”
When the four of them arrived at the quartermaster, as Thorn predicted, her and Romeo’s classmates were long gone.
“Hello, shitty housing,” she muttered, as she and Romeo approached the quartermaster, while he and Mav stood a ways behind.
“You’re being weird.”
“What?” Tom turned to see Mav staring at him like he was an F-14 requiring diagnostics and a shit-ton of maintenance.
“I said you’re being weird—”
“Yeah,” he slowly began, “I heard you the first time, Mav, what do you mean?”
“You—you’re being… nice,” was the other aviator’s perplexed reply, accompanied by an equally consterned gesture.
It was his turn to stare. “I am nice.”
“Uh-huh, but you’re not usually this—this, to people you don’t know.
Who are you, and what have you done to my wingman?”
If Tom were to be honest, he himself knew that he wasn’t exactly acting in character, but there was just something that tugged him to… be warmer towards Thorn and Romeo.
He put it down to wanting to repay the TOPGUN students for being kind to his brother, when not many others were.
“Any friend of yours is a friend of mine, Mav,” he said, sounding somewhat lame to even his own ears, truthful as it was.
“Okay, sure,” the other man nodded, in an extremely distrustful tone.
“Got it!” Thorn declared, she and Romeo marching up. “Let’s see what Government Issued shanty we’ll be put up in, shall we?
Looks like we’re at… 315 Vraciu.”
Tom spoke up. “That’s not bad, I think; a couple of our classmates last year were put up in that same housing—Charles Piper and Marcus Williams—and I don’t think they had any problems.”
Romeo clicked his tongue, “Well, that’s a first—less-than half-decent housing’s usually par for the course for me and Thorn.
This’ll be a refreshing change.”
Tom would never understand why good pilots were blamed for things they couldn’t change, Mav for his father’s “betrayal” and his own unconventional flying style, and Thorn for her gender, through relentless hazing and/or poor treatment.
If he ever rose high enough to change things, he swore he would.
The housing was a basic, cookie cutter home a little over a five minute drive from the main TOPGUN building, and on the way there, Thorn and Mav were seated in the back of Tom’s truck, catching up, while Romeo sat shotgun.
Glancing in the rearview mirror, Tom saw that both pilots were animatedly discussing things that had happened since the last time they saw each other, including the infamous inverted-over-a-MiG situation.
“Are they always like this?” he said in sotto voce to the RIO beside him.
Romeo flicked his dark gaze to the backseat, a soft smile on his face. “Yeah.
It’s nice to see her happy.
Not a lot of people think much of her, since she’s a woman, you know.
But Mav, he and Goose, they never saw that, they just saw a good pilot, and I’m grateful.
They were the only ones who wanted to fly with us.”
Tom frowned in disbelief. “You’re kidding.”
If Mav was singing her praises, she must be a phenomenon in the sky—who wouldn’t want to be part of that?
“Nope.
They were the only ones who volunteered, so they kind of got stuck with us that whole deployment.”
At this point, they arrived at 315 Vraciu, and they all hopped out, the two students carrying their seabags to the door.
Thorn unlocked the door, she and Romeo tossing their bags in the entrance. “Well, thanks for the ride,” she nodded, Romeo doing likewise behind her.
“No problem, my pleasure,” Tom replied, clasping his hands behind his back.
“I’ll see you both around, I guess.”
He imagined that her eyes lingered longer on him than they did on Mav, and… he didn’t exactly know how he felt about that.
Mav threw off a nonchalant salute while he sent a respectful nod, before they moved to go back to his truck.
They were halfway there when they heard, “Hey Mav!”
The two of them halted, turning to see the fire of challenge in Thorn’s brilliant eyes. “You gonna take it easy on me?”
Mav scoffed, “You think I’m an idiot?”
She carefully maintained a blank look, and Mav flipped her off with a grin.
Her expression sharpened, gaze landing on him, callsign all too accurate, as the edge of defiance in her voice rang through the air. “And how about you—are you going to take it easy on me?”
He had to admire her for that already.
“If you’re as good as Mav says, that’d be a damn injustice.”
Her answering smile was dagger-keen. “Looking forward to seeing you up there, then.”
Something in him thrilled to the thought of having another worthy opponent in the sky. “It’ll be a highlight of my day, I’m sure.”
“We’ll see.”
Though not unkindly, the door shut in their faces soon after.
Tom stared at the door a moment longer, before again turning to see Mav frowning.
“You’re really being weird.”
“…Shut up, Mav.”
“Alright boys—just to remind you, we have the classes in the morning, and we’re going up in the afternoon.
For the first hop, it’s going to be Jester against Thorn and Romeo, Mitchell against Warlock and Shogun, then Ash and Igor.”
An unexpected wave of disappointment washed over Tom as he realized Viper’s hop arrangement meant he wouldn’t get to fly against Thorn the first day, but he managed to keep most of the expression off his face, especially with Mav treating him like a problem to solve the whole rest of last night.
Indeed, the shorter man was and had been surreptitiously studying him.
“Which leaves me with Belter and Elvis, and you, Kazansky, with Snackbar and Links, then Babe and Priest, for the second hop.”
Just a banner day for Thomas Kazansky, wasn’t it?
Couldn’t fly against Thorn, and didn’t even get to school Ash and Igor.
“Everyone understand?”
A chorus of “Yes, sir!”s rang through the room, and Viper nodded, pleased.
“Dismissed, then.
To your classes, gentlemen.”
Viper knocked a fist against the table twice before he and Jester departed the briefing room.
Tom gathered his folders and looked at his wingman, who was neatening a very short stack of papers. “I was hoping to have first crack at Ash and Igor,” he muttered.
“I know,” Mav smirked.
Resigned, he sighed, “Well, kick their ass extra hard for me, will ya?”
The smaller man’s smirk took on a devilish quality. “I’ll draw first blood, then you wipe the floor with them, and us together, it’ll be game over,” he stated, as he extended a fist.
“Sounds like a plan,” Tom nodded, sealing the agreement with a fist bump.
As he bent to pick up his attaché case, Tom’s eyes were again drawn to the minuscule stack of papers the other man had. “You got the material for your class today, right?”
“Uhhh, yeah, sort of,” Mav shrugged.
“‘Sort of’.
What exactly do ‘sort of’ class materials look like?”
Mav spread his hands, and he knew. “In all honesty, I was gonna just kind of wing it.”
Tom honestly should have seen it coming—but Maverick mavericking was what made Maverick, Maverick.
“Okay,” he replied, trying to hide his grin. “Sounds good.
Good—good, good.”
He managed to hold his laughter in until he reached the hall, but even then, an “Up yours, Ice!” followed him around the corner.
Tom’s class went smoothly, and after a lunch that he eagerly finished, he eventually found himself in his flight gear, fidgeting in the instructor’s ready room.
Having completed his preflight, he decided to chalk his restlessness down to the novelty of flying an A-4, a single-seater, with no Slider in his ear or backseat, as he listened intently to the comms for the first hop, Viper doing the same across the room.
Mav and Jester engaged Warlock and Shogun, and Thorn and Romeo, respectively, once the Commander called “Fight’s on!”, and Mav made short work of Warlock and Shogun, getting tone on the other pilot and RIO in a little over two minutes.
Commendable, in his opinion, for their students.
Mav called for them to knock it off and return to base, before moving on to Ash and Igor.
It was then that he realized that Jester was still engaged with Thorn and Romeo.
Romeo was evenly calling out altitudes, positions, and break directions, while Thorn composedly called maneuvers out, interrupted only by the sound of the two aviators g-straining, the F-14’s engines in the background.
He briefly turned his attention to Mav, who had engaged Ash and Igor; the two were, as he predicted, scrambling wildly for their “lives” (and based on what he was hearing, would get tone locked in a matter of seconds), in radical contrast to Thorn, who was calmly holding her own.
In his head, he could see a vague picture of what was going on up there with Jester, Thorn, and Romeo, and Tom realized that he wasn’t sure how it was going to end, the sound of Mav getting tone on Ash and Igor fading into the background.
Tom could hear the strain in Thorn and Romeo’s voices as they fought more g-forces while calling movement and other things out—they had to be at or near corner speed to make them sound like that.
Tom could hear the faint, steady beeping which warned of imminent tone lock, and he hoped she would win this, if only to prove his wingman’s faith in her skill correct.
Just as the beeping grew faster, Thorn muttered, “Just a little… come on, come on…”
He leaned forward in his seat, and realized he was holding his breath, but he couldn’t bring himself to inhale.
Then suddenly, the blare of confirmed tone.
Disappointment for her sake sank in his stomach, but only for the briefest moment, because the voice which triumphantly called out “Good lock!” was distinctly female. “That’s a kill, Commander!”
And Tom could breathe again.
Holy shit, Mav was right—she was a hell of a pilot.
Thorn managed to keep too much of the gloating out of her tone, but it was a fairly narrow thing, and in his opinion, it was justified.
A faint sound caught his attention—if he didn’t know any better, Tom could have sworn that that was a… fond chuckle that came from Jester.
“Copy kill.
Well, knock it off, Lieutenant, and RTB.”
“Yes, sir!”
Without really thinking about it, he went to the flight line, in time to see the three F-14s and two A-4s land.
His eyes were drawn to her jet as she pulled in to the flight line, and he was faintly aware of Mav’s A-4 pulling up beside his.
She’d done the impossible; Thorn, a female naval aviator, got chosen for TOPGUN, and got tone on her instructor the first day.
Technically, that wasn’t anything new—Mav had done similar—but in a sense, it was.
Women were just starting to be seen as capable of being in the military, in combat roles, to be exact, and to see a woman do something that had been the domain of men for decades, centuries, and do it just as well as a man—better even; as evidenced by the fact that in her hop, she was the only one to get tone on her instructor…
He really had to admire that—admire her.
“That good enough of an ass kicking for ya, Ice?”
Tom was snapped out of his introspection from the sudden appearance of his wingman at his side, running a hand through his hair, helmet under his arm.
“What?”
Mav grinned, “I got tone on Ash and Igor in roughly a minute or so.
How the fuck those two got picked for TOPGUN eludes me.”
Tom scoffed and shook his head in agreement. “Bet I can get tone on them faster, though.”
Mav slapped him on the shoulder, “We’ll see, Ice.”
A sudden whoop of jubilant laughter drew his gaze, and he could see Thorn about thirty paces away, coming ever closer, and his breath caught in his throat—her mouth was split in a beaming smile, wild and passionate, illuminating her from within with effervescent joy, her shining eyes endlessly reflecting her exhilaration.
Her bun was coming slightly loose, tendrils of hair framing her face and swaying in the breeze, while her flight suit clung to her figure, helmet dangling insouciantly from her fingers; it was decorated with a briar all over, red roses among thorns made of black aces, and it had her callsign across its brow.
Her eyes landed on him, and her smile took on a mischievous quality. “We got Jester, nailed him on the first day.
You gonna be ready for us?” Then, as if she only noticed Mav next to him at that moment, she amended, “Both of you?”
He grinned, just shy of showing too many teeth, nonchalantly stepping closer, shifting his weight to lean towards her, hip slightly cocked to keep his balance, barely paying any mind to the tension in Romeo’s stance behind his pilot. “We’ll see who gets tone on whom first.”
Thorn smirked as she looked him up and down, teeth tugging her bottom lip for the briefest moment before she clicked her tongue, “Good thing I’ve got front row seats for that show, then.” She pivoted on her heel, walking backwards as she sent him a casual salute, before turning to stride back to the locker room, Romeo following her with a minutely narrowed glance over his shoulder at him.
“Huh.”
He turned from watching the pilot and RIO, to see Mav again at his side, glancing back and forth between him and Thorn and Romeo.
Tom frowned, “What ‘huh’?”
“Nothing, nothing,” came the too-quick answer. “Just huh.”
“…Now who’s being weird?”
Tom’s hop with Viper was not quite as interesting as Mav with Jester’s, though he did have to commend all three pilots for holding out for a few minutes, which was more than Ash and Igor could say.
The debrief was a thing of beauty—going in reverse order from lowest to highest hop score, meant that he got to witness Mav positively eviscerate Ash and Igor as the first order of business, and the sheer stupidity that Ash displayed in the air, made Tom wonder what guardian angel or deity sent this idiot to TOPGUN.
He mentally saw a dozen different maneuvers that Ash could have done, that, while they might not have gotten him tone on Mav, they would have helped him last longer against the other pilot.
The debrief drew on, Tom stepping forward when it was his turn, not sparing the other pilots their vivisections, though theirs were not quite as harsh, by sheer dint of them not being as idiotic as Ash and Igor, and finally, it was the debrief he was waiting for; Thorn and Romeo’s.
He had an idea of what happened in the air, but he wanted to know what exactly she had done.
It was textbook and yet genius.
He was right; once they hit the merge, flying at corner speed through a series of turns, Thorn had maneuvered to force Jester to increase his turn rate, bleeding his airspeed, playing the Skyhawk’s weakness against it, before before placing him in her sights.
“…all in all, great work, Lieutenant,” Jester complimented, writing her hop score of 5 on the board, the highest number of all the teams that day, sending her a nod.
Her face was impassive as she replied, “Thank you, sir,” but Tom could see the vindication in her eyes.
“Well, I’m sure you’ve all learned something from your classes and most especially, your hops today,” Viper declared, pacing the front of the classroom. “This is only the first day, and to borrow a saying from our SEAL cousins, ‘The only easy day was yesterday’.”
The Captain stared the students down, pair by pair, searching for something in each of them.
Finally, he stated, “You’re all dismissed.”
After Jester and Viper left, leaving him and Mav, as the junior instructors, to neaten things, Ash and Igor were predictably the first out the door—just shy of storming out, while most of the others looked at Thorn with less suspicion than the day before, a few actually lingering.
While he was fixing the markers, out of the corner of his eye, Tom saw Warlock step forward first, a light smile on his face. “Hey, uh, that was great, what you pulled today—I’m Solomon, but you can call me Sol or Warlock, whichever you prefer.
This is my RIO, Ken, but he prefers Shogun.”
The Asian man genially lifted a hand in greeting, “Really wish I could have seen that.”
Babe chuckled, “Yeah, that was good, wish I’d have thought of what you did, maybe I’d have had a chance against Kazansky—I’m Stephen.”
Priest, his RIO, cooed, “Aw, you embarrassed by your callsign, Babe?”
“Shut up, Tim,” Babe glared.
Priest raised both hands in surrender. “Not my fault your last name’s Ruth—I’m this stick in the mud’s RIO, Tim—call me Priest, that there’s Belter and Elvis.”
Tom almost laughed at the expression Thorn made; the momentary shock on her face was palpable, but it was swiftly concealed—the only reason it registered for him was because he was so used to reading Mav’s microexpressions.
“Thanks—nice to meet you all.
I’m Thorn, this’ Romeo, my RIO.”
Romeo shook hands with them all, a pleasant, but guarded expression on his face.
“You weren’t too bad up there yourselves, from what I heard,” she continued.
“Yeahhh, but who got tone on their instructor first day?
Not this guy,” Priest waggled his eyebrows, jerking both thumbs at his pilot, “and not any of these guys,” making the others groan or laugh.
Tom ducked his head, hiding his smile; he was glad that the others seemed to be warming up to her, he wanted her to have the same experience as he did at TOPGUN—establishing a brotherhood with his classmates.
“—Tom!”
He pivoted to see Mav snapping his fingers close to his face, and he reflexively flinched back from his wingman’s hand in his face. “What?”
He belatedly realized that he’d been saying that a little too much recently.
As if he were speaking to a particularly dull child, Mav spoke slowly. “Do you think I can erase the board now?”
“Yeah, uh, but not the scores.”
“Of course not.
You okay, Ice?”
“Yeah—fine, it’s just a… long day.”
The suspicion in Mav’s eyes didn’t fade as he sighed and nodded. “Feel up to The O Club tonight?
Maybe decompress a bit, have a drink?”
“That sounds great, actually.” Maybe a drink was what he needed, his mind seemed to be all over the place.
“‘Kay—meet you there?”
“Yeah.”
Once he finished with the room, he followed Mav out, sending a look to where Thorn was still talking with her classmates, to see that her gaze was already on him.
Her eyes immediately went back to her classmates, but nevertheless, he felt branded by her stare, like it was a tangible thing, searing through his veins, sending a paradoxical shiver down his spine.
Deep in the recesses of his mind, he could admit it; he didn’t know what it was, but he felt drawn to her.
To what end… he didn’t know.
And that…
That scared him.
Tom eased his precious Chevelle into a parking spot near the door of The O Club; a rarity, but one very welcomed, given how busy the bar seemed.
(The fact that it was within sight of Mav’s highly recognizable Ninja was a perk—he and Slider had stopped one too many parking lot beatdowns.)
He reached for his Shooters, narrowly stopping himself from putting them on (Mav hated it when he did that at night; “It makes you look like a dick”, according to his wingman), instead tucking them into the pocket of his whites, carefully opening the driver’s door, squeezing himself out of the narrow gap he afforded himself.
The black metal flake paint was pristine, and he intended to keep it that way, it didn’t matter how ridiculous he may look.
The O Club was, as the parking lot showed, busy, full of people in service whites, throwing him back to last year, that first night for the flyboys of ‘86.
He cast his gaze around the bar, peering through the haze of cigarette smoke and the people, searching for his wingman’s squirrelly figure, before a call of “Ice; over here!” pierced through the sound of numerous conversations and the jukebox, before a hand flailed wildly, becoming visible over the heads of the crowd.
Mav had claimed seats at the bar; prime real estate with the place this hectic—he didn’t want to know how the other man had kept the seat next to him free when every Tom (hah), Dick, and Harry were clamoring for a seat at the bar.
He made his way through the crowd, gratefully settling onto the barstool next to Mav, also dressed in his service whites. “Hey Mav,” he greeted.
“Hey; I ordered already, I assumed you’d want your usual vodka on the rocks.”
“Thanks; you know me too well.”
“Kind of hard to miss when it’s literally what you order every single time,” Mav smirked.
Tom rolled his eyes—he was a creature of habit, sue him.
(And if vodka on the rocks reminded him of his Dedushka, what was wrong with that?)
“Seems like all of Fightertown is here tonight,” he muttered to Mav.
“You’re not too far off on that, I saw basically all of our students here,” the other man replied, taking a sip of his beer. “Only ones I haven’t seen are Thorn and Romeo, actually,” he finished casually.
Rather against Tom’s will, something in him lurched forward, his thought process halting, making him feel like he’d just snagged the third wire on the carrier deck.
Despite that, he managed a calm—at least in his opinion—“Oh.”
“Mmm.” Another calm sip of beer from his wingman—too calm.
He narrowed his eyes and sighed at Mav. “What the fuck is that ‘Mmm’ for?”
The dark-haired aviator pulled an expression like he just sucked on a lemon. “What, can’t a guy just ‘Mmm’ anymore?”
“Not when you’ve been fucking weird for the past two days,” he replied, sending the harried bartender a grateful nod as they slid his vodka on the rocks over to him.
“I’m not weird, you’re weird,” was Mav’s reply, and he narrowed his eyes at the muted shimmer of something in the other pilot’s eyes.
He was about to retort when his eyes were drawn to the door, and the bulk of Romeo walked in, his head and whites-clad shoulders peeking above quite a few people’s.
It was mere curiosity, he told himself, that led him to lean to see if his pilot was also with him.
It took a beat, but then, several people in the crowd moved, and he saw her—her hair cascaded down her shoulders, as sharp eyes surveyed The O like it was the skies, dressed, unlike everyone else in the Navy who occupied this space, in civvies; a loose, white blouse tucked into jeans, cinched with a thick brown leather belt at her waist.
And everything seemed to fade into the background, the sight of her drowning out the sound of the bar, and Mav’s howling laughter.
To be continued…
Previous Part Next Part
Faceclaims
Russian glossary
Disclaimer: translations are from the interwebs.
Please don’t kill me.
Dedushka: Grandfather
Two years is the real-life age gap between Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer.
The story behind Ice and Slider’s bad ejection actually did happen to a pilot-RIO pair, then-Commander William Switzer and then-Lieutenant (junior grade) David “Bio” Baranek on December 19, 1981, aboard the very same aircraft carrier that I mentioned.
You can read the detailed description of the incident here, retold by Commander Baranek, for the Ejection Tie Club of the Martin-Baker company, who specialize in making ejection seats—including those of the F-14 Tomcat—for pilots and backseaters who have ejected using a Martin-Baker ejection seat.
VFA-41, the “Black Aces”, based out of NAS Lemoore, were featured in Top Gun: Maverick as the squadron of Natasha “Phoenix” Trace, and I thought that would be nice to include that, in this universe at least, Phoenix is a member of the squadron with the first female naval aviator selected for TOPGUN.
Icy-Hot is a liniment that has been on the market since before 1931.
The name of LTJG Kenneth “Shogun” Han is a reference to this scene in the now-ABC hit series, 9-1-1, where paramedic/firefighter Howard “Chimney” Han, played by actor Kenneth Choi, replies that if he weren’t a paramedic/firefigher, he’d have liked to be a Navy TOPGUN graduate, with the callsign “Shogun”.
The names of Henry “Snackbar” Baker, Stephen “Babe” Ruth, and Timothy “Priest” Martin are a reference to both the original name of Leonard “Wolfman” Wolfe—Henry Ruth—and the Martin-Baker company.
The speeches that Jester and Viper give are nearly word for word the same as the speeches that they gave in TG86, with some authorly variation because I didn’t want to rehash the same speeches that we heard in the movie word for word.
Again, VF-1, a now inactive squadron based out of NAS Miramar, is the squadron that Mav and Goose belonged to before they went to TOPGUN, although it must be noted that, like most of the squadron patch designs in Top Gun, the patch design as seen on Mav and Goose’s flight suits, is incorrect and not matching the squadron designation, instead bearing the insignia of VAW-110, the “Firebirds”, who flew the E-2 Hawkeye, which was shown as Comanche in TG:M.
Alexander Vraciu was a WWII Navy ace who downed 12 Japanese aircraft and sank a Japanese merchant ship with a direct hit to her stern.
The merge is a concept used in air combat, where aerial warfighters engage with enemy aircraft by steering their plane toward the adversary—this maneuver is referred to as “going to the merge.”
Corner Speed
Did anyone catch the TG:M line reference?
Special thanks to @valmare for the Ice has a Chevelle headcanon!
Service Whites
Taglist
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my olba mc timeline!
introducing my darling buttercup, Haru Nakamura :D
finally i can post this! i'm very happy to talk about a character i have been working on since may haha. does that mean they are fully cooked? let's talk about something else :) insert why do they call you babygirl meme
you don't wanna know how long was the process of making this one drawing,,,, 1/10, would do it again no question, but god did that take time. here's the sketch for comparison :]
(hopefully) short and concise description of each step below + a couple of songs that i assign to each step, from their playlist because i can and i will
ʰᵃʰᵃʰᵃʰʰᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃ ᵗᵘʳⁿˢ ᵒᵘᵗ ⁱ ʷʳᵒᵗᵉ ᵃ ᵇⁱᵗ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ʰᵃʰᵃʰʰᵃᵃʰ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ʳᵉᵃᵈ ᵃˡˡ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰⁱˢ ʸᵒᵘ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵐʸ ʰᵃⁿᵈ ⁱⁿ ᵐᵃʳʳⁱᵃᵍᵉ ᵇᵗʷ
now before i move to each step, i want to take a moment to talk about Haru's name. they are japanese american (their biological parents were both japanese people who moved to california) so i wanted them to have a japanese name.
first their birth name, Kaito. i picked this [快仁] way of writing it. 快 means "pleasant, comfortable, agreeable" and 仁 means "humanity, benevolence and kindness". i chose it as their birth name because of a few reasons:
first, some other ways of writing this name include a kanji that means "ocean, sea". it's an obvious connection to the setting of olba, as well as the character's deep connection with sunset bird, especially in their childhood.
the meanings assigned to the version i chose, describe haru at their core and during step 1 when they use this name. they are a comfortable presence whose greatest desire is to make meaningful, genuine connections with other people (fucking extravert). while they are pleasant they are a people-pleaser as well - part of their journey is to unlearn that.
it sounds very cute and they are the sweetest kid
now the name people actually know them for, the one they feel describes them the best - Haru. the kanji that i picked [春] means "spring, season of growth and renewal" and it's precisely what Haru's 'arc' is about. the meaning and value of their personal growth, understanding themselves and working with oneself instead of against.
a little tidbit about their name: there is a kanji with which it can be written that means "cherry blossom". those flowers are considered as a symbol of spring in japan, usually blooming between the end of march and beginning of may. another fun fact, haru's birthday is on the 2nd of april :]
Nakamura is a surname i chose instead of Last in the game. i thought it would be fun to headcanon that the family's surname is actually from Noelani's side (some Hawaiian last names are Japanese in origin, hence Nakamura). The kanji i picked to write it are [中村] - 中 meaning "in, inside, middle, center" and 村 meaning "village, hamlet". I think of it as a reference to sunset bird itself.
so once we put all of the ingredients together it already forms an image of a character. i've been reading a book by david day "the hobbits of tolkien" in which the author describes j.r.r. tolkien's process of creating the hobbits. it's very fascinating, the way in which he used his philologist knowleadge - digging up the word first and then tracing it's origins and the word family to slowly create the hobbits we know today. my process of creating haru was somewhat similar in methods, though definitely not the process (god no, i am nowhere near tolkien's level). i wanted to mention that because the words we use to describe the world, or in this case characters are important.
i like to think that haru's whole name means "spring in a village", with them being the embodiment of said season, connected to an undeniably summer town. a little bit like baxter, our resident autumn boy stumbled into a seaside tourist town. only in haru's case the lines are more blurry. i think of them as the manifestation of the spring/summer period, when the sun shines brightly and trees bloom but the wind is still chilly and strong.
in any case, let's move further! fairies know i could talk just about their name forever
Step 1: welcome to childhood folks! in step 1 Haru uses their birth name, Kaito, and he/him pronouns. Kaito is a lonely child who wants only one thing - to have a friend. he is too fat, too shy, too different from other kids his age, which leads to him being isolated from them. this plants the first seeds of his insecurities that will follow him into the future. being ignored and laughed at really impacts Kaito, who only wants to make friends with anybody. it makes this thought slowly grow at the back of his mind: "there is something fundamentally wrong with me." thankfully, he has the support of lizzie and their moms and the soothing sound of the waves and the warm sand at the beach, which make his social isolation feel less hurtful.
when it comes to his personality, Kaito is an open-hearted, open-minded kid who is quite shy. he is naive, terribly impatient and impulsive which can be a fatal combination. curiosity is another defining trait of his - not really with any things of an academic nature, but definitely about other people, so much he can be very nosy. despire that he is pretty good at reading social cues and figuring out people's feelings. if only he had enough foresight to actually confirm his thoughts with others - he is prone to assume things solely based off his judgement. he is empathetic and a good listener. his tendencies in people-pleasing are only starting to grow, but it will be a huge problem down the line.
a sidenote about his design: colours chosen for each step hold a meaning. the colour palette for step 1 is a triadic colour scheme with purple, teal and yellow. i chose those colours because they remind me of summer, and in step 1 kaito is at the beginning of his growth as a person. at this point in their life, they are connected with summer as a season the most, because they have yet to begin the process of figuring themselves out and understanding themselves.
Cove moving in is a turning point for Kaito. he changes his life by befriending him. it doesn NOT alleviate the insecurities and doubt still nestled in Kaito's heart. rather he views Cove as someone special for befriending him. the setting for their relationship is Nervous Fond. Kaito likes Cove immediately (as they do with most people, they are very open) but is very nervous about this whole making friends process.
Alright this all probably sounds very angsty but this internal turmoil of Kaito's is (for now) very much in the background. think of it like a box covered with sheets, dusted over and hidden in the attic. step 1 is mostly cute kid shenanigans (and some crying).
Songs:
hawaiian roller coaster ride - mark keali'i ho'omalu, kamehameha schools children's chorus; lilo and stitch original soundtrack
the right amount of dumb - kan gao; finding paradise (original game soundtrack)
i have a hole in my tooth (and my dentist is shut) - dodie
take me anywhere - kan gao; to the moon (original game soundtrack)
second child, restless child - the oh hellos
(the right amount of dumb is like their theme in step 1 because they are a bit of a dumbass <33 silly little kid)
Step 2: ahhh early teenage years. i think 12yo and older is the time when you start to realize how profoundly fucked up reality is and react appropriately! which is exactly what Haru is going through, on top of being obsessed with becoming popular. sigh.
step 2 is very rough for Haru. for one, their insecurities from childhood only grow. they see their inabilty to create a large circle of friends as a reflection of their worth. their self-esteem is at all time low, which is why they do everything they can to cover it up. kids are cruel so they cannot show any weaknesses. in order to cover up their low self-confidence they become very arrogant,they arrive at this conclusion: if they are so unlikable (false) then they only need to pretend to be someone else entirely to make people like them (bruh. teenage brain is a mystery).
and so begins their fabrication of themselves, altering parts of their appearance, personality even giving up and picking up hobbies just to appeal to the 'popular kids'. deep inside they know that this is futile. you cannot make people like you, you cannot make them respect you if they don't no matter how hard you try. but they are so starved for social interactions, that it doesn't matter at the moment. if they get to hang out with the cool kids, if people wave to them in the corridors then what does it matter that the person they are greeting is fake?
those purposeful but forced changes consume them. they are constatly playing a role around people they know but don't trust - they can only relax with their family, Cove and Derek. but even then, they aren't fun to hang out with that much. seeing as they can reveal their true thoughts only then, it makes them constantly angry (at everything, but at themselves the most probably) which affects their relationships with their friends and family.
to them it feels like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. they can't bear their soul to the cool kids group, because that would mean admitting that they are not a person they pretended to be - this loud, out-going, larger than life, perfect person. and in their head they think they can't reveal anything to their loved ones either - it would mean admitting defeat in making friends.
so yeah, the struggle is there y'all. despite all the harm that comes from their behaviour and their environment, they learn a couple of things too. they realize they aren't a mind reader and perhaps asking people about their problems is better than assuming you know what is wrong, even if you are like 99% sure you know. doesn't mean they won't ask in the most blunt, tactless way possible tho. their shyness as if evaporates completely - you're not gonna make it far in middle school being shy. funnily enough, they are a massive people-pleaser. you'd think that this bold, boisterous teen star would be far from it, but every action Haru performs in their school circle is for the approval of others. if there are any mild upsides to their state is that they can fulfill their innate need of connecting with other people. it's not deep or meaningful in most cases but what can you do.
as you probably noticed, the main colour of this step is green. but why? green is such a nice colour, with so many positive meanings... sike! i mean yeah it is, but you know what else green symbolises? greed and envy. i used green for this step to highlight haru's desire of becoming popular not as a genuine dream, not even as a way to connect with others but because of the immense jealousy they felt. of other people who got to have friends that liked them for who they are. of elizabeth especially, who never seemed to struggle with making people like her. in this stage of their life, green is definitely a negative colour for them.
the comfort level in step 2 is Direct Fond for both Cove and Derek. no matter which route i'm deciding on romantically, haru does not have a crush on anyone in step 2, or at least doesn't allow themselves to have.
Songs:
freaks - surf curse
kawaki wo ameku [カワキヲアメク] - minami [美波]
carnivore - starset
stand out fit in - one ok rock
remember my name - mitski
(i especially like carnivore for this step because haru starts avoiding eating meat, cause they don't like the taste that much. the choice of this song is a bit of an inside joke for me, also the lyrics fit very well)
Step 3: we enter era of healing! i'd say in step 3 haru is at a solid 3/4 way to doing better internally. step 2 was their lowest, but now they are beginning to bloom. but growing older doesn't only bring knowleadge and growth, it also brings a new lot of issues to deal with.
Haru has been confronted about their behaviour. the impact it had on others and on themselves (there was a lot of crying and broken confessions, not a good time). as they reached their limit, they finally decided to speak their feelings and accept help from their loved ones.
now, it's hard to simply get rid of one's insecurities, especially those that seemed to be reinforced by the outside world for a long time. they use a strategy as old as time to deal with (not cover up anymore) their low self-esteem - fake it till you make it. some of their arrogance stays with them, as a blanket of security in a way, but they are determined to be confident in themselves.
their growth starts with a somewhat superficial thing but one that they always cared about: their clothes. they were always interested in clothing and fashion but only in step 3 they move a bit further with that interest and begin to make clothes on their own. it's an important passion to them, not only being very therapeutic but also allowing them to express their true self, both in terms of their personality as well as gender.
a major shift in their perception of their relationships with others was caused by realizing, that gaining popularity was not going to make them feel fulfilled. they had always desired deep, meaningful relationships, and while being recognized at school was nice, it wasn't really what they were looking for. this in turn make them rethink their whole "pretending to be someone you're not" business and with their loved ones assistance they figured out that... it simply wasn't worth it.
and because haru is the most impulsive person on this side of the globe, they did not ease themselves into this realization but again forced themselves to abandon their old ways in favor of being painfully true to themselves. and then everybody smacked their foreheads.
haru is a lot kinder to themselves now, courtesy of cove and others, but they still tend to ignore themselves in favor of somebody else. their shyness returned, and they no longer try to force themselves into acting more out there than they are. since the let down their walls, they speak their mind without thinking and are prone into agreeing to things immediately, often finding themselves in uncomfortable or annoying situations.
right now their most pressing struggle is dealing with becoming an adult. they feel as if they had just got peace and stability in their life and yet their friends are leaving or staying, getting jobs, time is slipping through their fingers like sand and everything is different. haru themselves feels very lost and overwhelmed by the future, so for now they latch onto people, their friends, sister and moms and try to spend as much time with them as possible, drowning the sound of their own fear in their laughter. on top of that there is a new guy in sunset bird, who seems to have a bit similar internal struggles to them, and haru feels like they could make a connection for life. i wonder how that will go :]
step 3 colours! they wear a lot of different colours because their style is mostly inspired by the 80s, plus they like to go crazy with the clothes they make. but colours that appear the most are definitely pink and yellow, plus a little bit of green. green appears in smaller amounts and in shades closer to yellow to express it's different nature than the green in step 2. this time it represents growth, freshness and hope.
now yellow is a very important colour that i consider haru's main colour. they are simply inseparable in my head. it was completely gone from their colour palette in step 2, and in step 1 it had more of a golden shade, one reminiscent of summer, but in step 3 it brings forth thoughts of spring more. it is purposeful, as Haru is finally growing into the person they want to be. yellow's positive meanings are among others optimism, happiness, creativity and enthusiasm. but it can also be associated with fear and cowardice and that is definitely something that fits haru in this step as well.
pink is prevalent in this specific outfit, but like i said, the clothes they wear in this step are pretty colourful. still, it holds meaning, seeing as it's also visible in their step 4 clothes. pink is invincibly linked with romance and romantic feelings - something haru allows themselves to open up to in step 3. like most things about them, if they have a crush on somebody their infatuation comes fast and strong, seemingly out of nowhere. but other than romance, pink is a colour of youth and playfulness.
after dealing with all that teen angst, they are very playful. combined with the dread of the future and genuine excitement they finally feel, they are a sweet, sociable person. the comfort level is Relaxed Fond, unless they have a crush on either Cove or Baxter, then it's Nervous Crush.
Songs:
permanence - bears in trees
wishing well - the oh hellos
infinite - lyn lapid
summer depression - girl in red
what if it doesn't end well - chloe moriondo
(i didn't put this song here despite it being the first one on haru's playlist, but teenage dream by katy perry is such a step 3 haru song)
Step 4: sweet woes of adulthood! Haru has grown and grown up but of course, life is a continuous string of things happening and us having to deal with them. some things stayed the same, for example their big ego. from aiming to cover up their low confidence, to actually gaining a healthy amount of it, like in most things they do, they went overboard. and while some of it is still a little bit of a defense mechanism, they are also completely insufferable and a beast of self-esteem. you win some you lose some.
they grew into the person they were always meant to be: free spirited, open, empathetic and creative. even so, they still retain their oh so recognizable traits. their curious, almost nosy demeanor, impatient nature and people-pleasing ways. they are still reckless though not quite as impatient, they learned to be a bit more chill.
haru learned to manage their intense nature. especially when it comes to meeting new people, they realize and respect the fact that not everybody will be eager to form a deeper bond, as much as it confuses them sometimes. they have always been ride or die type of person, but growing up has mellowed them out a bit.
the most growth happened with their way of managing their relationships as well as their perception of themselves. they are a lot more mature and as such manage to maintain their relationships. even if they still sometimes assume other people's thoughts or take up too much upon themselves, they see what they have accomplished and are very proud of themselves.
their struggles now involve the usual perils of adulthood, but mostly keeping up with their friends and making sure everything is alright. other than that though, they eagerly travel and go out of their way to meet even more new people - they do need someone to anchor them, or they will get carried away and eventually step on somebody's toes (or fail to return from another state on a scheduled date).
speaking of their adult relations, baxter leaving was a huge blow to them. like traumatic event rank S type of thing. when they meet again it's a storm lol
when it comes to Haru's other dreams and goals, i picture them with a business that makes custom clothes, like handmade ones. their side job would be helping out cove with surfing lessons and his business. they like to work with other people and are a fairly good leader, but they dislike doing the simple tasks because they are so boring.
last design notes! so there is yellow and pink, a bit of blue and white, at least in this outfit. yellow, pink and white are their characteristic colours, but green finds it's place here too sometimes (to drive home the spring theme more).
like i mentioned, haru's colour is yellow. it's the colour of sunshine, buttercups, the sand and some birds and fish, and most importantly it's the colour i associate with spring (along with green). haru is a character that represents the late spring, teeming with life and joy, intense in growth and weather, downpours or clear skies alike.
i don't think there is much more to say about the colours in this step, as in my opinion yellow is most significant. pink also connects with haru's acceptance of femininity and figuring out exactly how much they associate with it. and blue is the colour of the sky :)
in step 3 they are at Direct Fond or Crush. I like their energy in relationships with other people :]
Songs:
hey blondie - dominic fike; barbie the album
everybody loves me - onerepublic
never gonna not dance again - p!nk
sick of losing soulmates - dodie
rebel rebel - david bowie
dancing with myself - billy idol
(hey blondie is such a bop holy shit you guys- also very much a haru song <3)
wow i can't believe i actually wrote this. i am very particular about my characters so now that i have this sort of "introduction" for haru posted, i can post other things about them! don't ask me how that works, it has to be chronological
if you've read this thank you very, very much <3 and if you didn't, fair i feel you lol. feel free to ask about them if your heart desires :]
toodles~
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