#fuck off a thousand times) and ? maybe he would see or feel that theres still something there between them and

[aro-ortega]

i think it would be funny if in the future daniel + julia try to convince sasja to give polyamory/them as a throuple a shot

#like a reversal of step talking them into a being a triad in retri #been a while since ive played and definitely since ive played a chargeflystep run so. not confident in my memory #i just thknk it would be neat ! funny ! #sasja still hates julia but. she knows now. and he knows that she knows. and thats not the reason she didnt save him #he still hates her for that hates her for leaving him. but. he also knows now that hes done much worse so. shrug #and in some runs he does accidentally drug-addledly confess to still being in love w her #and ! hes going to therapy and he does take it serious ! he can be difficult and lash out but. he does listen to what finch has to say #(and is willing to Work on things and like. have therapy Homework post retri) #and he wants. he doesnt want to be this (terror) anymore. he went to far he can see that now daniel made him see that. he wants to be. #something. better ? less murderous. less violent ig. i think he just doesnt want to hurt daniel again but. theres lots that could hurt him #anyway ! all that to also say - daniel is (supposedly) very perceptive and even tho hes not in the room when sasja confesses to julia #i dont think it would be hard for him to figure out that sasja misses julia (he still hangs out with her. even tho hes told her to fuck off #fuck off a thousand times) and ? maybe he would see or feel that theres still something there between them and #and idk. maybe daniel and ortega talk. maybe sasja and his romantic past w julia comes up. maybe ortega is like. it is what it is hes #hes clearly in love with you anyway so... but ? maybe...... #idk ! im tired ! forgot where im going w this. idk how they get there but. maybe the float the idea by sasja. see if he would be willing to #to give julia another shot #(this came about bc i was thinking about how its funny that he + milo (+ vanya) are polyamorous but while milo #milo is dating as many people as she can sasja is just dating one person rn. i just think the contrast is funny) #sasja x daniel x julia #sasja jespersen #op #fh #sasja x julia #sasja x daniel

[swordsmans]

woagh! rare wip wednesday. i finally found some words and im making... progress? on the other half of mithridatism, aka monster trio poison immunity angst pt. 2, aka zoro's perspective (the parts sanji isnt there for), aka [[a really good title i prommy]].

anyway, thank u @asexualzoro for the funniest thing to happen to me all week, although it is only (as previously mentioned) wednesday. theres still time for comedy. i’m keeping my options open.

text under the cut! as always, keep in mind this is really just a draft…

Then, without another word, he lifts his left hand—fingers splayed—and Zoro feels the fucked up, unnatural buzz of Law’s power blanketing the room like a thousand tiny pinpricks to his senses. He opens his mouth, already halfway to cursing when Law snaps D and A—and suddenly there, in the center of the cold stainless steel operating table, is a jar. 

It’s an unassuming thing—thick purple-red visible through clear surgical-grade glass etched and labeled with a clinical sterility, such a contrast from the repurposed, hand-sealed rows in the Cook’s pantry that Zoro laughs—a half-formed chuckle of disbelief huffed out into the beat of stillness that falls between them. The viscous liquid sits in heavy contrast to the bright, terrible gleam of the room itself; Zoro can’t take his eye off it. Can’t stop staring, like his left lid has been peeled open and taped back, his neck trapped in a vice, his feet nailed to the floor. 

“You’re insane,” Zoro sneers, and in his peripheral vision, he sees Law shrug. 

“This is the New World. I’m not stupid enough to waste valuable resources,” Law replies, unaware or simply uncaring. “The opportunity to study something so potent only rarely—if ever—surfaces. The opportunity to study something resistant to it—well.” Law shrugs again, and Zoro hears the metal edge of the surgical table creak under his own grip. Something in the room snarls, but Law’s expression doesn’t change. “Really, Zoro-ya, you’re being dramatic.”

“You kept his blood,” Zoro spits, and it’s not a question. There’s a sick kind of shine through the glass, an illness to the color that’s not just oxidation but something worse, maybe—because Zoro knows blood. Knows it intimately, deeply, religiously—knows it better than sweat and sake and seawater, and that—

“Oh, I kept more than that,” Law replies. “But two years is a long time, and storage space on a submarine is inherently limited.”

“You’re fucked in the head.”

Law raises an eyebrow, unmoved. “Like I said,” he hums, “pragmatist.” 

“We fought for you,” Zoro seethes, “and the whole time Luffy was trying to keep you from killing yourself on Doflamingo’s doorstep, you had this in your cabinets like some kind of fucked-up vampire.” 

“Do you think he would care?” Law asks, and Zoro grits his teeth, silenced, because no, actually. He knows full-well Luffy wouldn’t give a shit if he were even aware of the theft—both because he trusts Law (probably picked him, Zoro knows, the moment the Polar Tang surfaced next to Marineford’s battlefield) and because Luffy would genuinely, honestly, wholeheartedly believe in punching his way through whatever risk a rival Captain’s unrestrained study of his physiology might bring. And Zoro doesn’t doubt he could. 

(Law seems to feel the same—he still hasn’t denied Luffy’s own ability to kill him with a little time and effort, after all.)

#we're really getting into the zolu with this one 🤌 no (implied) tag here babbeeyyy #which may not be a good thing--considering the subject matter. #whats that spotify? play mitskis 'im your man' one more time? why yes. dont mind if i do #lolll sorry lew this was just way too fucking funny #gyro.odt

[beardisable]

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD okay.

so i watched the 8 hour jack stream(jesus) aka watched genloss top to bottom again and listened to his theories and stuff(i really vibe with the "kidnapped as kids" angle more now) and started thinking about some theories he and chat mentioned and.

now im thinking with like. ok its probably a pretty common theory, this post was what prompted this additional idea of mine actually, but ill explain it a bit: the theory that, since sneeg and charlie can come back over and over again, and they have referenced like, refusing to do the cooking challenge in ep 1, and how charlie was playing the mouse trap but ate the cage, they have obviously done the same kind of scenes we saw ranboo do, right. and then in the Announcement video we see the same kind of "missing poster" type headshots of them, with the caption "Found them!"

i dont remember exactly where it was confirmed that showfall made the missing person posters, but like. yeah. these images are for missing posters like ranboo had. and with sneeg being caught by the security in ep 3, he had tried to escape, just like ranboo and charlie. and i feel like this wasnt the first or last time they have tried this!

also, during that screenshot the announcer says "our hero will meet a cast of crazy characters, who you may recognize", aka the audience has seen these "actors" before in other things! this is their first live show but what have they made before...?

then, with one of the Very first lines Ranboo says in the first episode, "it wasn't supposed to be like this"... showfall/hetch made it seem like this is ranboos first show and he's being tested for how well he does as The Hero.

I dont think what we saw is Ranboos first time starring in a showfall production.

its the first live thing like the announcement video said but i think hetch lied when he talked about how its a test, i think Ranboo's been here at least a few go arounds, if not tens/hundreds/thousands of times. WHICH MEANS in the end when he gets his memories back... theres an infinite amount of possibility of things they could remember for what they have been made to do in the past :) Bc remember, while this is comedy->horror, it was still relatively tame and non-explicit (at least by my personal standards?) so it is quite possible they have been in more R rated horror stuff, slashers, gore, actual saw, some kind of even worse psychological horror things, but also that they might have had incredibly good experiences like love and joy and community and anything positive too, and to remember all that in a rush... oh boy so i believe it is a circular reproduction, maybe they run through scenes repeatedly over and over while perfecting every little detail and getting different takes of genuine emotion but every time Real and a First experience... some kind of purgatory(omg christian hell reference) or endless torture or such...

ok that got really maybe unneccessarily angsty so heres my other thought:

i love me a fucking colour theory and colour symbolism! it bothered me a bit how like. in the promo game we get ranboo, then green friend/the villain(obviously charlie, tho the villain part still confuses me a Bit since its not quite true?), the blue friend/the taken(obvs sneeg) and then the red stranger/the saviour. and like it would logically follow that the red is hetch right?

jack when theorising said the titles are self descriptive, which i buy into, at least for the first episode context, charlie is the villain role, sneeg was taken(put in a cage and later snatched by the sharkciclester), and hetch was trying to help and save ranboo from this situation! but then in the second ep we also have red puzzler, and red niki? i WISH niki had. any kind of bigger role to build a Saviour type off of her but i dont think she does :( the puzzler is an option, since they make it seem like the puzzler tries to save ranboo? and thats actually a whole other thought like. since we know hetch was not actually helping ranboo, was the puzzler Genuinely helping them, and somehow showfall found out and killed him?? idk ANYWAYS that colour coding falling apart a bit made me think about how ranboo is also red!! rgb trio yknow??

if the titles are self descriptive... well i dont think Ranboo really felt like The Hero much, especcially not in the end...

I think Ranboo is actually meant to be the Saviour.

Esp with the jesus coding! I believe this kind of thing has happened many times before, with sneeg/charlie/ranboo/others realizing that shits fucked, and trying to escape, only to be caught and put back in the production. I think Ranboo(main character syndrome) was in a previous iteration the Saviour, who tried to help sneeg and charlie and others get out of there, to save them, save everyone. but they failed. got captured. once again waking up again with a "it wasn't supposed to be like this..."

and so the cycle continues, and the content wheel keeps spinning.

(ive only been in tumblr tags so feel free to link me any other ppl who arrived at the same conclusion)

#if you actually read to the end of this somehow ily take a cookie #this is giving me prologue/au ideas so i wanted to type it out to anyone who wants inspiration or smth #generation loss #genloss #ranboo #ranboolive #generation loss the social experiments #genloss meta #genloss theory #genloss au #bear.txt #i am bearpat #this post took so long bc i keep having more ideas but adding them all would make this even more incomprehensible i gotta stick to a thesis

[kirk-says-wah]

𝐁𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐞 - 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏

Pairings: Kirk/Lars, James/Dave, Rob/Jason

TW: alcohol

You can also read it here

The parcel he gets through the post that morning is barely packaged, taped up with masking tape keeping two slabs of cardboard together, and there in the middle, a little chafed, is the vinyl he’s been looking for for months.

He practically grabs it out of the postman’s hands, not bothering to sign for it as he shuts the door, the hinges creaking under the force of his hand.

He can’t take his eyes off it, hands already fiddling with the tape as he makes his way over to the couch, tripping slightly on a pair of James’s work boots.

He really should tell him to put them away, but that would just open a whole conversation that Kirk doesn’t want to have because he’s not the cleanest housemate either.

He rips back the tape on one side, though it sticks in places, meaning he has to pick at it with his nails, rubbing at the fibres until they finally peel away. He unwraps it, probably not as careful as he should, but if it got this far without being damaged, he’s sure his clumsy fingers won’t harm it.

The cardboard slips away after a moment, and the vinyl comes into view.

It’s blue, a dark, midnight blue with brushes of purples, jagged lightning lines framing an electric chair in the middle. It’s quite poetic, with the line Ride The Lightning pasted along the bottom in thick, white letters. It’s definitely captivating, definitely something Kirk would be picking off the shelves if he didn’t know the band.

He skims his palm over the cover, feeling little bits of grit skate across his palm, the general wear and tear of a record sleeve obvious yet nostalgic. Kirk’s always loved to buy vinyls second hand; there’s just something about knowing that record has already played a thousand times for someone he doesn’t know, where it can only elicits the same feeling from him than it did its previous audience.

He flips the cover, finds pictures of the band, each member individually squared in each corner.

And there, on the bottom left, is the face he was after all along. Lars’s face stares back at him, sat behind his drums, long hair framed with a headband across his forehead, teeth bared in what Kirk can only describe as his ‘metal face’. He remembers when Lars used to practice his faces for the camera, back when they were sixteen and Lars’s dreams were still just dreams and Kirk’s dreams were coming true. Kirk would pretend to hold up a camera, fingers held in a particular bent position in front of his face, and Lars would scrunch his face up, showing his teeth between thin lips, eyebrows drawn down and his nose all pressed up.

Thinking about it now, Kirk smiles wistfully, tracing the pads of his fingers over Lars’s face. He misses him, he misses him so fucking much. Theres not a single day that goes by where he doesn’t think about Lars and what could’ve been.

He darts his eyes across the sleeve, recognises another familiar face. This one, Kirk’s seen before, back on their first album. He’s got wild red hair, his mouth opened wide as he stands over the mic, a sleeveless denim jacket covering his bare chest, guitar hung around his neck. He definitely looks fierce, definitely looks the type to be in a metal band.

Kirk doesn’t recognise the other two members, and reckons they’ve replaced the last two. He wonders what could’ve happened, maybe they didn’t get on, maybe they wanted out.

Kirk can see either one of them happening; Lars hasn’t always been the easiest to put up with.

He dips his fingers into the sleeve, pulls out the vinyl, wrapped in crisp, white packaging. It’s in near mint condition, bar a few scratches on the outer lines, but Kirk’s not all that bothered about that. He didn’t buy it to play. He’s got another three versions upstairs, but this… this is the one he longed for the most. It’s a first edition, and because it never really sold very well before it was rereleased earlier this year, the original copies are hard to find.

You’d think he would collect them out of obsession, but the thing is, he’s so fucking proud of Lars, so so proud, that he still can’t help dedicate a little corner of his life to him.

Kirk has only listened to Lars’s band a few times, can’t bring himself to do it any more than that. He doesn’t know whether it’s out of jealousy or longing, but he’s only listened to them to know what they sound like. No, he’d rather just sit with the record, knowing all of Lars’s hard work has at least paid off into something. Something Kirk hasn’t always believed in.

He snaps back to reality when he hears the sound of a camera shutter, and he whips his head around to see James with his phone out, pointed at him.

“Will you quit doing that?” Kirk says, flattening his palms against the vinyl as if it might run away. Every time he gets one of Lars’s things, James always has to take a picture. It has to be some sort of sick joke, some way of saying oh there’s Kirk again longing for an ex who won’t come back .

James just grins, turning his phone off.

“Nope,” he says, his lips popping on the p, shoving his phone into his pocket as he ventures into the kitchen, out of sight.

Kirk sighs and stands, taking the record with him as he brings it to the turntable and the stack of vinyls beneath it, hearing James rustle about in the kitchen before the rumble of the coffee machine sounds.

Kirk opens the set of drawers next to him and pulls out a plastic sleeve before inserting Lars’s vinyl into it. He’s never been one to care so much about a record, but this one is special to him, and he’ll be damned if he lets it get damaged for not taking proper care of it.

He bends, his knees protesting as he slides the vinyl into place amongst the others, making sure they’re in chronological order. Most of the records here belong to James, so it’s nice to have his own jumbled into the mix too.

“Dude, we’ve ran out of granola bars,” James says, leaning against the door frame, chewing obscenely, said granola bar in his hand. Kirk doesn’t understand how they’ve gone through a box in two days when he hasn’t even had any, but he sighs anyways.

“I’ll pick some up after work,” he says, fishing out his phone to add a reminder in case he forgets.

James blows him a kiss.

“I knew there was a reason I kept you around,” he says, granola stuck between his teeth.

“This is my house.”

James shrugs, biting into the granola bar.

“Possession is nine-tenths of the law.”

Kirk just rolls his eyes, brushing past him to get to the coffee machine.

“What? I’m just protesting squatter’s rights,” James continues, chewing loudly as Kirk pours himself a cup.

“You literally live here. I bought you a fucking bed,” he says, turning his back to the counter as James makes a triumphant sound.

“Ha, so this is my house.”

Kirk squints over his coffee cup.

“I hate you.”

James grins. “You love me.”

Kirk takes a sip of his drink. “You’ve got granola in your teeth.”

— —

Lars has got a headache. It thrums behind his temples, the pressure rising in his eyeballs.

It seems like a common occurrence these days. Dave says it’s probably because he drums with no ear protection. He prefers to thinks it’s just stress.

Especially now, when he’s been cooped up in the airport for the past four hours, a storm the size of Copenhagen dwelling outside.

He jiggles his leg up and down, bent forwards so that his elbows rest on his knees. His leather jacket isn’t really keeping away the cold, but he’s been here long enough that he can already feel it in his bones, and no matter how tight he pulls it, the warmth doesn’t spread.

He looks up at the departure board.

16:30 San Fransisco: Delayed.

He sighs, sagging back against the uncomfortable chair he’s been sat in for the past hour. It doesn’t even have legs, it’s just a long fucking bench with arm rests in the middle, and it’s a dull grey to match the rest of the airport.

The bus from Gentofte to Copenhagen was mostly uneventful, even when Dave had persuaded him to play a round of Uno because it only ended up with Dave winning anyways as he kept making up the meaning of the cards he didn’t remember. But at least Lars could rest his head against the window, watch his last moments of Denmark flick by,  the multicoloured housing disappearing amongst green hills and fields. It still did nothing to stop his thoughts from lingering though, especially on Kirk. He can’t help himself anymore, and resigns himself to always being a slave to the idea of having Kirk back in his life.

The Danish landscape had evened out eventually, and he couldn’t help but be reminded that he’s leaving it all behind.

A wistful nostalgia overtakes him, possibly because he’s leaving, possibly because there’s a chance he’ll never be welcomed back. Although he’s spent most of his life in America, over the last few years he’s practically made a home in Denmark when his parents moved back. The lump that forms in his throat at the thought of his parents has him recoiling, and he’s quickly pulled back into reality by the mop of red hair coming towards him.

Dave’s practically shoving people out the way, grumbling under his breath as he dodges through the thick crowd separating him from Lars, arms full of snacks Lars doesn’t remember asking for.

Lars just watches on amused as Dave gets stuck between two oblivious people, finally having to barge past them to get through, throwing expletives over his shoulder.

“Y’know it probably would’ve been easier if you went around,” Lars says as Dave crumples into the chair next to him, flipping him the finger as he settles.

“It would’ve been easier if you’d gotten off your lazy ass and came with me,” Dave grumbles, filling his lap with the confectionary he’d been carrying. Theres an assortment of sweets and chips, and Dave tosses a bag of strawberry bonbons and some Super Fighters into Lars’s lap.

“I didn’t know what you wanted,” Dave states, but Lars knows it’s kinda of universal knowledge that bonbons are his absolute favourite. As for the liquorice…

“I don’t like liquorice,” he says, waggling  the sticks in Dave’s view. Dave just steals it back.

“Huh, guess there’s more for me then.”

Lars looks back down at the mass of sweets in Dave’s lap and wonders how one man can crave so many sugary things. Especially when Dave’s a black coffee kind of guy. Lars would never had thought that by sending Dave off to the airport shop that he’d come back with half the store.

“Did you even get drinks?” Lars asks, eyeing Dave’s lap full. Dave just stops rummaging for a moment, squinting.

“You can drink on the fucking plane,” he murmurs, before going back to fishing out a granola bar from underneath a bag of Doritos.

The overhead tannoy sounds, and Lars glances up at the board. Delayed another hour. Fucking perfect.

He exhales, slouching back into the chair, his spine digging into the hard plastic. He fumbles with the pack of bonbons, though it’s a bit difficult, the glue holding the top together exceptionally strong, and he struggles, desperately trying not to rip the bag in half.

Dave snatches it off him after a moment, hanging onto his granola bar with his teeth as he opens Lars’s sweets in one pull.

“Pussy,” he says, handing it back.

“You’re the one eating a fucking granola bar,” Lars mumbles, snatching it back, popping a bonbon in his mouth. It’s hard and his jaw protests as he crunches into it.

Dave just shrugs, biting half of the bar off in one.

“It’s good for you.”

“No, it’s really not.”

Dave just pulls a face, pulling his backpack from under Lars’s chair before unzipping it and filling the top with his lap full of sweets.

Lars’s phone pings, and he frowns, pulling it out his pocket with one hand.

It’s a text from James, which isn’t so unusual, especially since he told James he’s coming back. But when he opens the message, he comes face to face with an image of Kirk holding one of his records.

James is a fucking dick. Every time he catches Kirk so much as thinking about Lars he snaps a picture and tells Lars about it. Lars would think it’s sweet if they were together. But they’re not. Not anymore.

A painful twist entangles Lars’s chest at the sight of Kirk’s face; it’s from the side, Kirk obviously oblivious to James’s antics, but his smile is soft, familiar. Comforting. Lars finds himself staring at the picture for longer than he’d like, but he just can’t take his eyes off his ex lover. His curls are perfectly draped over his shoulders, shading half of his face from view, soft dimples around his mouth highlighting the shape of his lips, pressed upwards into a wishful smile.

Fuck, Lars would do anything to go back. He’d marry that man in a heartbeat, anything so he can wake up to his face every morning and be able to call him his. He feels a little light headed at the notion, and quickly shuts his phone off, not bothering to text James back.

When he looks up, Dave is staring at him, his eyebrows drawn down a little so that there’s a small crease across his forehead, eyes round and imploring.

“What’s wrong?”

Lars just shakes his head, trying to dispel the wave of yearning passing over him.

“S’nothing. James is being a dick.”

Dave huffs a laugh at that. Dave and James have never met, but Lars already knows they’ll probably get along. They’ve both got that I’m-so-matcho-but-im-actually-a-softy thing going on, and Lars can’t wait to introduce them to each other.

Dave leaves it at that though, instead grabbing a little box from his rucksack, dangling it in Lars’s view.

“I saw this and thought of you.”

It’s a little box of jelly sweets, with the words ‘Vingummi Spunk’ written across it in large blue letters. Lars laughs, takes the box from Dave’s grasp.

“Jokes on you, I love spunk,” he says, and Dave laughs, entirely too loud for this end of the airport.

“Yeah I bet you do,” he replies, turning his nose up, and Lars throws the box back at him, hitting him square in the chest.

His eyes flick to the clock, and he guesses they’ve probably still got a couple of hours to kill, and he doesn’t know how long he can sit here listening to Dave chew on a granola bar so hard it’s a miracle he hasn’t shattered his front teeth.

Lars grimaces, looks up at the signs pointing in directions of different shops and restaurants.

“I could do with some real food,” he says, pulling his bag out from under his chair. “There a Burger King upstairs”.

“Fucking finally,” Dave exclaims, pulling his bag up. “I’m fucking sick of Danish food.”

“That’s fucking rude,” Lars utters, slinging his bag onto his back. “Without Denmark you’d still be some broke kid from San Diego.”

“I’m still a broke kid from the San Diego,” Dave voices. “I’m just a man now.”

Lars makes a choked noise. “Yeah okay.”

Dave slaps him upside the head.

“Hey, who’s the one paying for this trip?”

“I am,” Lars shoots back, shoving into Dave’s side.

“I paid for the snacks, didn’t I?”

“That’s not the fucking same.”

Dave just slaps the back of Lars’s head again and Lars bats at him.

“Will you quit that? You’re totally using your height as an advantage.”

Dave grins, teeth brimming over his lips as he makes himself look bigger, purposely looking down at Lars.

“What’s the matter, little man? Feeling small?”

Lars flips him off before heading in the direction of the stairs, hearing Dave cackle behind him.

“Hey,” Dave says, catching up to him, taking two steps at a time. “Cmon, I’ll let you win Uno this time.”

Lars ignores him, carrying on up the stairs in search of the Burger King.

“I swear,” Lars says, rounding the corner with Dave in tow. “If you get Uno out on the plane I’m gonna fucking throttle you.”

“Is that a promise?”

— —

Kirk’s six hours into his eight hour shift when his phone goes off.

The day has been mostly uneventful, save for him stacking the new shipment of vinyls that came in that morning. A few customers came in, most of them not buying anything, which is just fucking great. All Kirk needs right now is for his customer base to decline right before Christmas. He’s barely scraping by as it is, and it’s time’s like this when he starts to regret opening his own business.

Jason keeps faxing over some business details Kirk doesn’t care about, which Kirk still finds entirely hilarious because who the fuck faxes anymore.

Jason’s always been a bit behind when it comes to technology, which Kirk doesn’t understand because Jason wasn’t born with a fax machine, and no one’s used a landline in over a decade which would’ve made him ten when they went mainly out of use. When vinyls came back into fashion, Jason hadn’t even realised they’d gone out of fashion in the first place, but that just makes him perfect for buying in vinyl stock. He buys all the stuff no one else sells because what do you mean no one listens to Danzig anymore? , but it at least means they get a nice set of niche customers that always come in to buy the rare and collectible.

He’s just about to sift through a stack of vinyls he needs to sort into categories when his phone pings, and he jumps, startled.

He’s alone in the shop, the only sound being Am I Evil? coming from the record player in the corner. He huffs, leaving the crate of vinyls on the floor as he reaches up to grab his phone from the counter, wiping the dust from his fingers on his jeans, not bothering to stand.

Jason : Incoming

Kirk makes a bemused face, mostly because he doesn’t know what the fuck Jason’s on about. He tries to rack his brain for any deliveries they might be having, but it’s a Wednesday and they usually only get big deliveries on Fridays.

The front door bell rings, and Kirk peeks over the top of the counter, digging his knees into the floor. A familiar mop of blonde hair under a blue work hat darts between the aisles and Kirk ducks.

Great. If James is here instead of being at work, it can’t be good. Kirk just sighs, swivels on his knees and goes back to sifting through the stack of records.

“Dude, is that Diamond Head?” James’s voice sounds from a few feet away, and Kirk looks up, sees James peering down at him, gesturing at the record player, still dressed in his work clothes, a navy boiler suit with a hole at the knee of his left leg.

“ Dude ,” Kirk mocks, continuing to dig through the stack of record sleeves. “Why are you here?”

James shrugs, idly walking over to the turntable.

“They let me go for a lunch break.”

“What?” Kirk asks skeptically, nearly losing his place in the stack, fingers jammed between two copies of AFI’s All Hallows Eve . James’s boss is always strict about making them have lunch on site. Nothing like mixing engine oil in your sandwiches.  “Whose dick did you have to suck to get that?”

“I’ll have you know that Cliff loves me,” James declares, though most of his attention is on the new cassettes above the record player.

“I severely doubt that.”

When James doesn’t say anything for a moment, Kirk looks back up, his ankles creaking as he sits back.

“James, are you gonna buy something or are you just here to take the piss?”

James shoots him a glare, pressing a flat hand against his chest, mock offended.

“I would never.”

Kirk arches an eyebrow. James just sighs dramatically, as though Kirk’s forcing him to stand there and say whatever’s made him drop out of work for an hour.

“I need to tell you something,” James says, tone serious, defeated, something Kirk’s not used to hearing from James.

Kirk frowns, letting the records fall back into the crate as he stands.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” James defends, almost too quickly, hand rubbing at the back of his neck. The sight of James so uneasy makes anxiety pool in Kirk’s stomach, and he stands, watching James cautiously.

“I’m not gonna be home till late tonight,” James starts, hands disappearing further into his pockets as he rocks on his heels.

“That’s not surprising,” Kirk says, because these days James almost always seems to be late home, always stops of at the bar to get pissed before he can even get a foot in the door.

“No,” James interrupts, face sincere, almost like he’s already regretting what he’s about to say. Kirk scratches at his elbow, sniffs, the dust from earlier making his nose itch.

“I’m going to see Lars.”

Kirk feels the exact moment his stomach plummets into his trainers. He tries to swallow but the saliva sticks to the sides of his throat, clogging it up, and he coughs.

“Sorry, what?”

James clears his throat, pulling on the brim of his hat.

“He’s moving back. I said I’d help him move in.”

Lars is moving back. Lars is moving back. Kirk feels a little winded, and he lets his hand fall to the counter, steadying himself. Leave it to James to tell him at the very last minute.

“Why are you only telling me this now?”

“Because I knew you’d do this,” James says, crossing his arms.

“Do what?”

“Take it badly.”

“I’m not,” Kirk tries, resting a knuckle on his hip as he leans against the counter, queasiness making him suck in a breath through his nose. “I just… feel sick.”

“Maybe you should sit down.”

Kirk shakes his head, ignoring the concern in James’s voice, rubbing his knuckle into his eye socket as he tries to get his breathing under control.

Christ, he didn’t think he was still so hung up over Lars, but the whole idea of him moving back to the city makes his body give over to complete anxiety and longing. He feels so utterly stupid, that something like his ex coming back after three years could affect him so severely, but Lars isn’t just any other ex. He was the love of his life. Kirk never thought he’d have to live without him, so when Lars left he had to pick up the pieces of his himself just to keep on living. And now he’s back, and Kirk feels like he might just disintegrate all over again.

He doesn’t realise he’s being ushered into the chair behind the counter until his bum hits the cushion, and he becomes acutely aware of James’s voice, hands heavy on his shoulders.

“Breathe, Kirk. You need to breathe.”

Kirk does as he’s told, sucking in a long breath before blowing it out through his mouth, looking up to see James guiding him through it, hands steady and grounding.

Once James’s sure Kirk’s not going to pass out, he pats his shoulder lightly before standing back up to full height.

“Y’know, I forgot how dramatic you could be.”

Kirk scoffs, finally cracking a smile as he lets himself sag against the chair, all the energy sapped out of him.

“Piss off.”

James laughs, adjusting his cap.

“D’you want me to do anything? Want me to call Jason to get his ass down here and work a shift for once?”

Kirk chuckles, sliding his hands over his thighs.

“He works, he just never has time to come down here.”

“He literally lives next door,” James deadpans, crossing his arms, and Kirk rolls his eyes.

“I’ll be fine. I’ll just stop by the bar on my way home.”

James glances over him. “Are you sure?”

Kirk could say no, that James going to see Lars feels like a betrayal, but he won’t. Lars was James’s friend first, and Kirk doesn’t want to come between their friendship, well, no more than he already has.

Kirk just nods, reaching down to grab his water bottle from under the desk.

“I’ll be fine. Go and have fun.”

James grins. “Alright, man. I’ll see you later.”

Kirk grins as he twists the cap of his water bottle, watching James filter back through the aisle.

“Don’t get hammered!”

“No promises.”

— —

Whatever Lars was expecting, it wasn’t this.

The flat had looked nice online, creamy white walls and a fireplace in the living room. The bedrooms had looked a decent size as well.

Only, when he and Dave turn up, it doesn’t exactly live up to his expectations.

He lets himself in with the keys the landlord had left in a box for them, wiggling the brass lock until finally the heavy door jolts inwards, revealing their new home.

As Lars steps in, he grimaces, frustration making his body stiff. It smells like something died in there, and there’s grime lining the window sills and the door handles. It looks like it hasn’t been lived in for years, nothing like the photos he’d seen.

It comes with furniture, but Lars knows he’s gonna have to deep clean before he can even let himself sit on the blue sofa that invades the front room.

Dave gives a heavy sigh next to him, booting the door closed.

“Well this sure as shit doesn’t look like it did online.”

Lars shrugs, walking in a little further. There’s a tv at least, he just hopes it works. He drops his bag and his suitcase by the sofa before venturing in further.

The kitchen is small, more like an alleyway, where you can’t have more than one person cooking at once.

When he opens one of the cupboards, the hinges squeak and the door topples to one side, barely hanging on. There’s dust lining the shelves, but there’s at least a few cups and glasses they can use.

Still, they’ll probably be drinking beer from the bottle for a few days whilst Lars deep cleans everything.

Dave’s squawk from the other room catches Lars’s attention, and he proceeds towards the noise.

“There’s only one bed,” Dave groans, crossing his arms, but all Lars can think of is that he’s gonna have to get some mattress cleaner before he can sleep on that. He doesn’t care if they have to share for the night whilst they sort something out, Dave can always sleep on the floor if it’s too much for him to handle.

“I need to get some cleaning stuff,” Lars grimaces, and Dave laughs.

“I don’t think we can buy enough bleach to clean this place.”

Lars doesn’t like his pessimism, but dismisses it with a wave of his hand, his mood souring as he stomps back over to his bags.

“I’m gonna go out and get some stuff. You check if the tv works and see if we’ve even got water,” he says, unzipping his bag to grab his phone and his wallet.

“Aye aye captain,” Dave retorts, plopping down into one of the armchairs.

Lars wonders how he can sit in it without fear of like catching something, or maybe he just likes things to be clean before he sits on them. Dave doesn’t seem to have that hang up.

Lars lets out a breath, pushing his phone into his back pocket.

The flat is not that far from the house he used to share with Kirk so he mostly knows this area by heart, and he knows there’s a grocery store down the street he can get some beer from.

Dave starts to fiddle with the remote and Lars watches only for a moment before turning towards the door.

“I’ll see you later.”

“Don’t forget booze,” Dave offers, though he’s mainly focused on the dirty remote in his hand.

Lars just nods before pulling on the brass doorknob, feeling dust cling to his fingers, his hand pulling away sticky when he walks through the door.

— —

“Why are you in a bad mood?”

The bar always seems to be quiet on weekdays, but tonight for some reason there seems to be quite a lot of patrons and Kirk feels a bit overwhelmed sitting there by himself, which is why he’s glad when Rob sidles over to him, topping up his glass.

Kirk just sighs, kneading at his temple with his thumb.

“Lars is back,” he mumbles, but Rob just makes a confused noise, turning slightly to pour a drink for someone.

“What did you say?”

“I said, Lars is back,” Kirk says, a little louder for Rob to hear over the chattering crowd.

Rob hands the beer over to some guy before turning back to Kirk, eyebrow raised.

“What? When did you find this out?”

Kirk’s been coming to this bar since he moved here, and used to come all the time with Lars when they were together. Since then, he’s only ever comes with James, but he can still remember the nights he used to spend with Lars here. He’s sure Rob remembers that too.

“Today,” he says, sipping at his drink, the whiskey burning the back of his throat. “James came and told me at work. Apparently, he’s moving back today.”

“Wow,” Rob says, planting his hands on the bar. “I’m sorry, man.”

Kirk just shrugs, outlines his glass with his finger.

“It’s not the end of the world. It’s all in the past, y’know.”

Rob eyes him for a second before shrugging. “If you say so.”

Kirk bristles, shifting on his stool.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing. I just think you’re not over him.”

Kirk squints, fingers tightening around his glass.

“Of course I’m over him. It’s been three years.”

Rob scoffs, pulling at the tea towel over his shoulder before mopping up a patch of beer someone made on the bar top.

“Yeah okay. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“Fuck you,” Kirk retorts, even though he knows Rob’s probably right.

He hasn’t stopped thinking about Lars since he packed up and left all those years ago. It never gets any easier, thinking about the night Lars left, how he had come home to find the house deserted, and it still makes him feel ill. The whole idea of Lars coming back into his life after so long doesn’t exactly have him jumping for joy, but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t missed him.

He knocks back his drink in one.

“Is Jason gonna come down?” he asks, but Rob just shakes his head, grabbing a glass from under the counter.

“He’s busy. He said he hopes whatever went down with James went okay though.”

Right, which means Jason had watched from his office window upstairs as James had come down the street, which is why Kirk got a heads up.

Kirk just scoffs, holding his drink out for Rob to top up again.

It’s gonna be a long night.

— —

Lars spends most of the evening scrubbing the sofa and the mattress, so by the time the doorbell rings he’s ready to give up.

Dave doesn’t make a move to get up from where he’s planted himself in the armchair, legs slung over the arm. Lars sighs, standing up from where he was cleaning the bottom half of the sofa before opening the door.

James stands on the other side, holding up a crate of beer with a wide grin. He still looks the same since Lars last saw him, all long blonde hair and chubby cheeks. Lars’s mood brightens at that and he laughs, bringing James into a firm hug.

James chuckles, hugging him back.

“Missed you too, Lars,” James says, patting Lars’s back before pulling away.

Lars hasn’t seen James in years, not since James came over to Denmark to help out whilst they were recording Ride The Lightning. Even then, his stay was brief, and Lars can’t describe how excited he is to finally have James back in his life again.

He steps aside, letting James into the flat before locking the door.

Dave perks up a bit, eyes finally wandering from the tv. Lars watches as Dave meets James’s eyes, and there’s a foreign anxiousness that sweeps his face.

“James, this is Dave. Dave, this is James.”

James beams, holding a hand out, and Dave leans over, shaking it.

“Nice to meet you, man.”

James laughs, though it sounds nervous.

“Yeah you too.”

It’s a bit awkward, especially when neither of them seem to want to let go of each other’s hand, so Lars stands there for a moment before clearing his throat.

“Sorry it’s a mess. This is not what it looked like in the pictures.”

James lets go of Dave’s hand, shrugging as he flops down onto the freshly cleaned sofa.

“Relax, man,” he says before holding up the crate of beer. “That’s what beer’s for.”

And so they proceed to obliterate their livers for the next few hours, going through the whole crate before barrelling through the next one Lars had bought earlier on.

The three of them end up on the floor, drunk off their asses as they laugh about nothing, though Lars isn’t drunk enough to not notice the way Dave sits close to James, almost in his lap as they giggle, and he finds it a little odd that they’re already so close.

Still, he doesn’t dwell, and instead pours out all his feeling by getting drunk.

“And we’ve only got one bed,” Dave exclaims between bouts of laughter. James laughs too, though he proceeds to say the most sober sentence he’s said in a while.

“I’ve got a futon at home you can have. I don’t mind dropping it by tomorrow.”

Now that seems like a good idea, because Lars does not want to be sharing with Dave if he doesn’t have to.

It’s about three am when finally James goes home. Lars calls a cab for him, and James goes willingly, swaying on his feet as he disappears into the taxi.

Dave yawns, head rolling against the edge of the couch.

“I think we should go to bed.”

Lars nods, stifling his own yawn with the back of his hand.

He stands before holding a hand out, pulling Dave up on wobbly feet before they move into the bedroom.

Dave all but falls onto the bed, bringing the covers up to his chin as he presses himself against the wall.

Lars takes his jeans off because there’s no way he’s gonna be comfortable sleeping in those before climbing in next to him.

Dave turns onto his side, facing Lars.

“Right, you cross this line, I’ll fucking kick you out of bed. Got it?” he says, drawing a line between them. Lars groans, because of course Dave has to make it weird.

“Well, you’re a fun snuggle buddy,” he mumbles, and Dave squawks.

“Ew what? Don’t call me that.”

Lars suppresses a laugh, burying himself deeper under the comforter.

“And keep your fucking icy feet to yourself.”

Dave goes quiet after a while, his soft snoring and warm body finally lulling Lars into a dreamless sleep.

It doesn’t last long before he’s being prodded in the cheek.

“What are you doing?” Dave’s voice sounds from above him. Lars, being half asleep, ignores him, pressing his face further into the soft warmth next to him.

“Get back to your side of the bed.”

Lars sighs, finally opening his eyes to realise he’s actually cuddling Dave, drooling onto his iron maiden tshirt. But Dave just feels nice to curl up next to, especially when they have no heating and it’s cold out.

“But you’re so warm,” Lars complains.

“Fuck you think I am? A reptile? Of course I’m warm. Doesn’t mean you get to try and cuddle me.”

Dave sounds agitated, but doesn’t do anything to get Lars off of him. Lars is content to just keep using Dave as a pillow.

“Get back to your side of the bed or I’m jumping out the fucking window.”

That finally wakes Lars up and he chuckles.

“Okay alright. Whatever. I was just making our time together more enjoyable,” he says, rolling over so that there’s about three inches of no man’s land between them.

“Fucking snuggle buddy,” Dave grimaces. Lars snickers.

It’s about five o’clock when he’s abruptly pushed onto the floor, and he wakes as his body hits the ground with a loud thud. He splutters, grappling at the duvet spilling from the bed to get himself sitting, his head making him feel dizzy.

“What? What was that for?” he hisses, pulling himself back onto the bed.

“You crossed the fucking line!” Dave hisses back, face petulant. “Started getting all handsy with me.”

“Oh,” Lars says, face smug. “Did that turn you on?”

Dave just sighs heavily, turning his back to Lars.

“That’s disturbing to think about.”

“You don’t mean that,” Lars titters, but Dave just pulls the covers up to his ears.

“Leave me alone and go to sleep.”

#metallica #metallica fanfiction #bleeding me #james hetfield #dave mustaine #kirk hammett #lars ulrich #jason newsted #rob trujillo #megadeth #cliff burton #kirk/lars #james/dave #my fics

[stealthboy43]

The long night arc: Part 6

@limeinaltime @edibletrees2 @stealthboy43

RECAP

N has made contact with M.O.M

They had a nice chat about why M.O.M wishes to slay thousands.

Uzi try sneaking up on M.O.M with big gun.

Now they gotta fight.

N: Finding a way to protect Uzi.

If you were wondering where N was for the short amount of time after the blast, the answer is he was experiencing a drone equivalent of a concussion.

When M.O.M. slammed her blade on the ground, the small shockwave produced was enough to send N flying through the air, and banged his head on a concrete pillar and cracked his screen. Fortunately, there wasint any major damage, thorough for a short time all N could see was static.

When N came back to his senses, he found himself laying down with has back against the concrete pillar. Still rather dazed, he looked around and quickly spotted Uzi, and turning his head to the right, he could vaguely make out M.O.M. And he was horrified to see that she seemed completely unharmed, though he wasn't really surprised.

Of course, it wouldn't be that easy to kill her.

WARNING: THREAT DETECTED

Huh?

His sensors picked up something, but what was it?

But there was no time to think. In the blink of an eye, N got on his feet and dashed his way to where Uzi stood. M.O.M was about to attack, he didnt know what his sensors picked up, maybe a slight twitch from one of M.O.Ms arms, or a sudden change in the air.

Doesn’t matter, just get to Uzi, get her before M.O.M can.

WARNING, WARNING, INCOMING!

When N reached Uzi, he quickly grabbed her and pulled her back, just in time as he felt the scythe zoom past them, the wind waving his hair and barely missing Uzi by an inch.

If he had been a second late, the blade would have sliced Uzis head right off.

“You good?” He asked Uzi.

“Y-yeah..”

“Wow, you're actually pretty fast. I'm impressed” M.O.M said.

Her words put N immediately back on alert, and he quickly put Uzi on his back.

“Your probably gonna have to hold on tight for this” He whispered, “ You got the ray gun?”

“Yeah, but it's still recharging.” She whispered back

And we still don't know when the others will get here- He thought

It could be a couple of seconds, or several minutes, and I don't know how long I can keep her occupied.

Doesn't matter, just stall, and just keep Uzi safe.

M.O.M raised on off her large blades, and N mentally ad physically prepared for whatever M.O.M did next.

Suddenly the black goo began dripping down her blade seemingly out of now where.

“Ok then N, lets see how much you can take.”

M.O.M slashed the air in front of her, and unleashed her attack.

A wave of black streaks akin to blade slashes flew in N and Uzis direction.

Immediately N began to panic

Oh Biscuts, theres so many..!

N jumped off the ground, doding the slashes that were low, but he quickly had to lower his head to avoid a slash which zoomed over him.

Right, left, left again, up, down! Ri-

N felt asearing bolt of pain feeling on his right side, and he clenched his teeth against it.

But he had no time to think about it.

Left and up again…

The wave of slashes was done, but the pain remained.

“N, your-!”

“I know..” He said though gritted teeth.

The first few seconds in the fight, and N had already lost an arm.

Uzi: Its gonna be a loooong night

The movements N had took to dodge those slashes had made Uzi dizzy, and she had been shocked to see Ns right arm had been gone and dripping oil. Fortunately, it had already begun to heal, the silver nanite beginning to repair his arm. But Uzi knew N couldnt do that forever.

“Ohhh that looks like it has to hurt..” Said M.O.M in a mocking tone.

A surge of anger shot though Uzi “OH I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU FOR THIS!” She screamed at M.O.M.

In response, M.O.M chuckled. “All right then, you're free to try.”

Uzi felt the thrust of air pass by her of N kicked off the ground, and she once again held tightly onto N.

It was blurred by how fast it and they were moving, but Uzi saw that instead of the black slashes, a long line of goo which began at one of her two smaller arms and had to be at least 60 feet long. And it ended in a scythe that had been swung in their direction.

Uzi was quick to put two and two together.

I get it now! That's how M.O.M. was able to reach me before. She's using the goo to extend her limbs and swinging her scythes like a flail.

A chill ran through Uzi

She's so strong… how are we going to kill her??

Her thinking was interrupted again as her stomach lurched when N made a quick and sudden turn to avoid the scythe which M.O.M had flung again.

M.O.M: A cat playing with cockroaches

One arm, that's all she really needed to crush them. Right now, she was just having fun.

Sure, N was dodging a majority of her scythe attack, but just by the skin of his teeth. And again, he was dodging a majority of the attacks, because every so often, wether it be cause M.O.M swung a little too hard or if N made a mistep, he would always pay the price. He would get slashed, sometimes across the cheek, across his side or chest.

He would heal of course, though it was common knowledge that disassembly drones couldn’t regenerate forever.

And this wasn't anywhere near how fast M.O.M could move.

M.O.M did find it quite chivalrous that N always made sure he was the one getting hit, and not the purple haired worker drone riding in his back. When he saw her scythe coming and knew he couldn’t avoid it, he would shift his body just a little bit so the scythe would hit him instead.

A pity, N might be able to dodge better if he didn’t have that little runt on his back.

Ah you two are struggling so hard yet you're doomed to fail. It makes me sad. All this just to protect such cockroaches…

Oh yeah. She should probably get back to the task at hand. Oh well, the two were fun while they lasted.

She then swung her arm a little harder this time, and quickly the scythe changed direction so suddenly and quickly that N nor Uzi didn’t notice.

Goodbye now.

But then that was when she heard a shrieking sound from above.

***

And now….

A reference to asdf movie

#hell. pain even. (murder drones edition) #murder drones #project m.o.m #the long night arc #serial designation n #md uzi

[the-ever-flowing-styx]

live reacting to ‘Big Ass Spider’ because i like to spread misery

Immediately bad vibes from ‘Splendid Film’, ‘Epic Pictures’ and ‘Film Entertainment Pictures’

what is this opening shot

he looks so emotionless and yet surprised

decent sfx ngl but that GREEN SCREEN

French man with a gay run

boobs

that sure is a Big Ass Spider!™️

why does he look happy now?????

TITLE SCREEN

butterworth

is that old lady groping him

‘butterWORTHLESS’

is this movie secretly anti-government????

she’s flirting with him ew

is he dead??

immediate ass shot on the first female character

gratuitous shirt removal

is he pretending to be a spy??

he is such a slut

he is a slutty slutty man

the score thinks this is a horror movie

the corpse is movinggg

spoke to soon on the score oops

spidey fingies

why is the light flickering????

is that a drill holy shit that is pathetic

WHY IS THE LIGHT FLICKERING

IT'S A SPIDER

nom

my favourite part of big ass spider is when the big ass spider said it’s spider time and spidered all over the place

fire alarm with no thingy to hit it

gay

argue argue

what are those hand movements

fthpthpthp

the morgue guy looks horrified

this plot wouldn’t happen if it wasn’t set in America

this movie has very unsubtle anarchist overtones

JESUS FUCK THAT BITE

the boss took a shot of aspirin what why

he looks bewildered

the security guard pulled a GUN on him

apparently this is a buddy cop movie but the buddies aren't cops???

fuckin ew bro

maybe it was a spider monkey

he's so deadpan i love him

rotating jose from big ass spider! in my head like a microwave

finally! actual police officers !!

no it's the ARMY

if i was a spider i would be spiders georg next question

jose is so me coded

he's just a little guy !!!1

just go down to the machine room normally??? what is this littlest pet shop shit

the army mans voice sounds dubbed why

contagion? like the hit movie contagion?

IT'S IN THE VENTS LIKE FROM AMOUNGUS

old man gonna dieee

oh no they're both in the vents from amoungus

D:

that is a nest bro what the fuckk

why is he fangirling over the murder spider???

fire

old man cowboy

the extras look so out of it i feel bad for them

weirdos

'kwahdruhpuhled'

'kwahdruhpuhle'

the intern that did that sfx makeup is very talented

'pepwpewprepwepwpechewspceww'

her outfit is so impractical

me when i get you

the spider being a greedy capitalist is really making me think about how purposeful this stuff is

the acting performance is giving the villains from home alone

but not in a fun way

why are you shooting at it?? it's a spider????

turn on the fucking lights nitwits

slut

please don't eat it

why are you struggling so much it's a coin on some overrated thread

oh it spits acid now

and that is the worst sfx so far

'arikhnid?'

ily jose never leave me again

THAT'S THE NAME OF THE MOVIE

slut

jose is perfection

btw that twitter really exists look it up

shitty greenscreen plane my beloved

hacker montage

that is a big ass spider

'theree'

how is alex a miracle

jose is the miracle i see now

jose looks so rad in his sunnies

goofy ass camera quality

30???????

‘mahlted’

the music thinks this movie is so much scarier than it is

they look like npcs

did he forget his own name???

why did she answer the phone for some rando??????????

i love you jose

oh no people

they are playing beach volleyball in a park

gratuitous boob shot

gay walk strikes again

PERVERT

‘HAAAAGGHHHHH’

his shoe falled off :(

why is he aiming a gun at his computer screen

bro this is so far out of your jurisdiction

more anarchist overtones

so unsubtle

child no

just barely missed the child

is this movie anti police now too????

there are not thousands of people in the park there are maybe ten

no alex you cannot have your bribe back

that sure is a big ass spider

gratuitous boob shot

girl why are you still having a picnic there is a big ass spider murdering people

ass shot

worse sfx ever

omg hiiiiii

is this technically an alex ex machina??

yes jose get 'im

‘noooahhsh’

‘ your SPANGLISH is pressuring me’

alex stop being a fucking slut

chasing pussy and chasing spiders

‘MY TRUCK‼️’

pew

pew pew pew

jumpies

emotional WHIPLASH

why is she holding her earpiece they are talking in the real

noo jose lost his glasses :(

‘eksplohsiv’

so dramatic music

why are you touching him

they accidentally turned on the black and white filter

oops

bzzz

oh no she’s stuck how awfull

‘youah visinihtee’

me when i peel you

alex ex machina 2: electric boogaloo

this didn’t work last time and it won’t work this time

JOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!

jose has plot armour and i’m thrilled

‘ruhn ahmuhk’

bro intentionally or not you made it

alien biology????

girl what the plot of this movie just did a 180

so true jose so true

‘woharld’

jesus christ you'd think to check your plants before you BREED THEM WITH ALIENS

no he doesn’t he’s talking out of his ass

he’s so stupid i hate him

omg this is the start of the movie

jumpies

png ass reflection

‘terhmihnaytoh’

crinkle

wow they found her. good job?

why do you trust these random ass men

i understand blindly trusting jose but alex????

THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE HORNY

how is she still fine

THE EGGS ARE HATCHING FUCK

jose figured it out :D

you just have to shoot the spider in the ass simple as

why do they have a flamethrower.

hey now saying you’re done with science is actually fucking weird bro

procedurally generated lookin street

ITS THE BEGINNING

different music? really?? at least commit man

oh thank god jose is fine

if jose was in literally any other movie

if jose doesn’t survive i swear

jose slayed that backwards hat

jose is such a girl boss for this

oh my god alex why are you making jokes right now

she was literally being dragged to her death no there was a boob shot fuck me with a chainsaw

if they kiss i’m suing

missiles!!!

no he did not that is bullshit

of course it’s still alive, spiders don’t take fall damage /s

babe????? whyyyyyyy???????????

cmon jose i believe in you :D

he’s so babygirl

how did that work

OMG it’s called Big Ass Spider! because they shot it in the ass!!!

shut up jose did all the work

this makes me angry

i am going to vomit

yes jose they should get a room

teaser for Big Ass Cockroach!

okay it’s over now, if you’re here thank you so much

#styx posts #live reaction #please help #big ass spider!

[rusted-sun]

Chandler burst through the blueish portal straight into Dark’s desk. “There’s another one.” Dark jumped in his seat when his husband burst through and clung to the desk. “Another universe? But you said there wouldn’t be any for several thousand years.” He sighed.

“I know I know. But you need to see it.” Chandler swallowed down and grabbed Dark and they both stood in the mirror. Staring at the colorful room. “I don’t see anything wrong. There’s a 112 here too.” He sighed. “Exactly! There’s never a 112 without me realizing it! And look.” They pointed to a talking worm with horrible skin care. And a man made from yarn and felt. With no face and only two eyes on his head.

“4 we don’t need to kill it. We just need to push it out of the house.” He sighed as 4? Came around the corner with a broken bottle. “GET OUT!” She yelled flailing around. The worm just ran out the door screaming in horror. “I’m going in. Damien and Celine can’t be seen right? So they can look after me. I’ll be right back.” Chandler smiled before walking through the mirror.

Suddenly they too became felt and instead of any house hold object. But a colorful candy jar. They walked in as 112 cleaned dishes while the red guy. A yellow person with blue hair and overalls. And a nicely dressed green duck like bird in a brown suit. 

“Hello!” “Oh [bleeeep] there’s another one!” She yelled holding her hair. “I thought there was one a day.. yes there’s one a day you need to leave.” The duck said matter of factly but the yellow dude blurted. “But- but it’s Color-ful!” “And? They can wait til tomorrow! It’s time for our show!” The duck said impatiently. 

The red guy only nodded silently. “What even is the color balls in it? What are you.” 112 got close and picked up the jar. Chandler took a deep breath. “I’m Kendy! The Candy Jar!” “What’s Candy?” 

“Something sweet that you eat! It’s usually small! But you never take sweets from a stranger!” They spoke almost like

They’re being controlled. “Oh. WE’RE MISSING OUR SHOW!! TELL IT TO STOP!” The duck yelled hitting the table. 

“Would you like a Candy?” They held a small purple treat as 4 reached out to it they started screaming at inhuman sounds. “DON’T TAKE FOOD FROM STRANGERS!” 4 bent down snatching the Candy and throwing it in the trash. “Okay. We did your lesson. Leave.” She growled as blood trickled from her ears. They started leaving the table and walked into the side room. 

The TV turned on, 4 sat on the floor as the 3 took the chairs. Kendy just stared. “Why doesn’t she have a chair?” “Because that’s how it is! It’s always been like this!” Red only nodded as yellow smiled. “So-sometimes I sit down there. And she tells me funny stories! She had a good I-imagination!” She looked up nodded. “Yeah the stories almost feel real! Like one story I remember I was an ocean goddess with fins and such. And another I was-“ “SHUT UP ITS A GOOD BIT!!” The duck screamed.

4 just sat in silence staring at the TV til it shut off and they all walked to bed. Only leaving 4 on her back, she sat up and stared. “You’re still here.” She shrugged and walked past them and grabbed a blanket from the closet and dropped

It on their head and walked to the other other room. Guessing bed room. 

She muttered something walking away.

As Chandler rushed into the mirror and jumped in sighing to have skin. “That was strange for 112. Any of them actually. They usually see a Chandler and immediately befriend them.” Chandler nodded as the portal opened up and they appeared back in Dark’s office. 

“That’s enough of that.” Dark sighed laying back in his office chair after sitting down. “I’ll see you later. Maybe sawyer will know something?” Dark hummed as Chandler groaned. “Not himm!! I’d rather deal with 112 staring at anyone who is nice to her with heart eyes!!” Chandler grumbled walking out as Dark made a few calls. Interesting indeed

okay so we've made it clear that sbh and dark can universe hop. theres only 1 of them. every universe has a 112 and fuck knows whats up w actor. hes not important to the story rn anyways.

now. this makes me wonder. whats the timeline. obv its the whole MarkCU one but with a few twists and turns, and that leaves off at the canon au. the colonies are safe blah blah blah 112 is a phoenix i think smth smth and STOP. but how did minecraft happen, since the enderpearls are used as a dimension hop device.

like. how did we get from In Space to MC au? since thats where the 1st like.. major? shift happens and all the characters change. roomates doesnt count. it was the 1st au but it still needs to come AFTER MC au.

sure, in canon sbh got fucked up by the mirror but i dont think i gave them dimensional hopping? would be stupid if i did.

like all i need to do is build a bridge between In Space and mc. then everything falls into place.

i dont wanna do smth like "oh fuck they tripped and fell out the ship into space and just sorta... floated over to The End and kaching! enderman time! cuz thats lazy and doesnt make my brain hurt and those things being in the same universe is lame as shit <3

i dont wanna involve the warp core either cuz again, how dare i take advantage of a device made soley for dimension hopping????

or maybe i do need to involve the mirror. since in my hc, whoever is trapped in it can eventually learn how to teleport to diff reflective surfaces nearby. such as glass or cups or water or whatever. and if sbh was in it for a hundred years, then i think its pretty obvious they can just hop onto any surface and go wherever in the house.

and when they were pulled out, maybe they accidentally made a portal while doing so? since i see the mirror as a diff dimension you can ONLY spectate from.

i could probs do smth better that that half assed explanation but fuck it. fixin it later <33

...

wait what if sawyer taught chandler how to do it while in the mirror. they got to bond for 100 years so. AHAHA sawyer my beloved i finally get to use you as a plot decive <3 <3 <3

#response #112 writes #this derailed #lmao #canon au #minecraft au #dhmis au #mirror au

[lacystar]

When Tommy died, it was void. It was the flaring, heated hurt all over his body and nothingness. Unable to see, unable to feel anything but pain. Screaming and getting nothing back; not even an echo. Feeling Wilbur and the cards in his hand, and the feeling of the other moving around him, and hearing him painfully close, but being unable to see him. Alone yet trapped.

When Wilbur died, he was shoved rudely off a metro and into a station. He paced it up and down for years, yet the stairs to the outside were firmly blocked off. Trains would pass, but none stopped. Only when Schlatt visited, which wasn't often, and only that time when Tommy came. And only when it came to take him back, of course. But it was close to agony to be passed by so many times. Alone. The world moving without him. His world moving without him.

Schlatt... has no idea what's going on. He's in the gym, but he's corporeal enough for Quackity to visit him. Sometimes he goes to see Wilbur, Sometimes he catches glimpses of the outside. He really, truly has no fucking idea what's up with him and why Wilbur is stuck in a whole other realm while's stuck all Ghostbusters'-future-victim. He knows it hurts though; heart palpitations, killer headaches... his voice has gone so rough on some days he sounds like a scratching record. His lungs are full of lead, and if he doesn't want Quackity to bring him back for the chance to taste power again, he at the very least wants it so he can stop feeling the burn in his throat.

When Ranboo dies...

When Ranboo dies he's dunked in water that's freezing, yet still burns his skin to the point of peeling in a terrible icy-hot hell. The ocean stretches to never-ending horizons without land in sight, and below him the ocean stretches to void, and all he sees is a thousand eyes staring up at him, almost unblinking. Expecting. Their stares burn almost more than the water, and his fear to keep his head above the waves to avoid seeing them is more compelling than the yell of his limbs to quit swimming, accept the burn, and sink. But after enough years... where is he? Why is he swimming? Why does he bother? Who is he, anyways?

When Tubbo dies, he wakes up in a yellow concrete box. It's not quite pitch black, but the walls give him no chance to move as his arms are pressed close to his sides. There isn't room enough to sit or do much more than turn around in place, and he can hear nothing but his own frantic, shallowed breaths as he gulps in air he feels as if he's constantly losing. He spends a few years wondering if this is his coffin and they didn't realize he was still alive when they buried him.

When Sam dies, he wakes up in an obsidian prison cell he's walked past one too many times. Theres a lectern, a clock, a pot of water, and occasionally potatoes drop down for him to eat. He stares at the wall of lava, praying for a visitor, and almost dares to empathize with the man he imprisoned when none arrive. He wonders for years if he regrets building the prison, and can never come up with an answer that doesn't make him feel ashamed of himself.

When Bad dies, he wakes up with his limbs wrapped in red vines, restraining him in a way he used to find comforting but now sees only as the torture it is as thorns dig into his skin. His vision is tinted blood red. Occasionally, a flash of blue teases his vision, but when he turns to call its name, it vanishes. He takes up swearing again; there's nobody there to hear, anyways.

When Eret dies, they wake up in their castle and left to wander the halls. Wander, but barely more than a few minutes at a time; the crown on their head weighs more than the world on Atlas' shoulders, so heavy that they often must return to their throne just to get the chance to rest their head back and let the weight off their shoulders. They wonder if the sacrifice was worth the weight.

When Niki dies, she wakes up in a crowd of people whose faces she can't quite make out. A sea of people, most taller than her, that stretches out for miles. Most smile and laugh, and she's relieved she's not alone. But when she taps on one of them and politely asks for directions to where she can get help, they stare through her. She isn't a ghost; they bump into her all the time as they shove her to walk past, but they don't see her. They don't hear. She screams and not a single head turns. When she collapses against an unlucky stranger to sob, they flick her off like she's a fly. There's not even an excuse she can tell herself to say she's alone.

When Quackity dies he finds himself falling. There is no ground in sight, only sky and clouds as his wings refuse to work and he plummets constantly into nothing. He reflects on the casino and L'manberg and El Rapids and wanting more. His stomach gets used to the lurching as the cold wind burns his cheeks. Maybe his ambition was a little pointless. Maybe he flew too close to the sun.

When Karl dies he awakes to colors that hurt his eyes and a million doorways, each in different shapes and angles. He spends years pacing and stepping through doors he hopes might lead home, that ultimately lead to only more doors. Some are too high up to reach and he stares at them and cries at the fact that he'll never know what's behind them (despite knowing its probably nothing). He doesn't remember everything; just enough to know that anywhere is better than being lost here.

When Phil dies it's a long time coming. Cursed with only one life, the universe goes easy on him. There's a field of rich grass and flowers and trees and skies that beg to be flown through. If only his wings worked. If only he could show Wilbur.

When Puffy dies she finds herself in an endless graveyard. She paces through it for seemingly decades, reading the engravings of her closest friends on each one and spending no less than year knelt at each in mourning, apologizing for her shortcomings. Maybe if she'd been a touch stronger, this wouldn't have happened. Worst of all is when the headstones are blank and she doesn't know who she's mourning at all, forever unsure of the poor soul she let down.

When Hannah dies she awakes to a world rotted away, the air polluted with smog and the seas full of plastic and sludge. Sometimes she sees a rosebush or sapling, tiny and thriving in the distance. Yet whenever she rushes over to coddle and nurture, it dies underneath her fingers. The ground wilts and cracks wherever she steps. She feels as if she's wilting with it.

When Sapnap dies, he wakes up in some sort of cage. A zoo. Figures come and stare at him and laugh as birds pick at his skin until he bleeds, wolves sink teeth into his calves to hit bone, and cows crush his ribs beneath powerful hooves. Each day a new round of animals come to have their way with him. And yeah, he thinks, that's probably fair.

When Dream dies, he's almost relieved to wake up in his SMP. Great, he can get back to business, he thinks. But the more he walks, the more he notices... how quiet it is. It doesn't take him long into his afterlife to realize the people have all disappeared. Vanished. Leaving him alone. No animals or Monsters even appear. Not a friend nor foe, not even a silverfish. The world is his to do anything with without repercussion, yet all he can do for years is sit at an old bench at a cliffside and play discs over and over until the melody burns into his head and makes him want to tear his hair out. All that over a stupid disc. He laughs until he cries.

When George dies... well, it might as well be like any other dream, he supposes.

#dream smp #mcyt #Wilbur soot #tommyinnit #jschlatt #ranboo #tubbo #awesamdude #bbh #the eret #nihachu #quackity #karl jacobs #philza #captain puffy #Hannahxxrose #sapnap #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #lacydoesherbest #why is it whenever Inspo to write strikes me bad shit happens and I lose motivation halfway through #im surprised I even finished this #blood tw

[tigerdrop]

in lieu of doing more strenuous hand-based activities heres the Dogboy Gordon In Heat Megamix ive been talking about. i wrote this over the course of a couple months in an effort to feel okay about writing horny shit again and i only just realized there are nearly 6 thousand words here. and they only really fuck for like 10% of that

ta-dah

ive thought a lot about gordon being stuck back at gordonhouse after getting kicked out of barneyhouse. i think its ripe for a lot of pining. (and yes, he is pining over the guy hes actively banging. hes being a big mopey idiot over the fact that he doesnt get to have his fuckbuddy around 24/7.) absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever and gordons already at a baseline of "wheres benrey. wheres benrey"......and now i am about to turn it up to 11

so lets say......gordons starting to feel weirdly under the weather. sweaty and irritable and tired. hes holing himself up in his room a lot, wrapping himself up in blankets to fight off a chill and a sniffliness that wont go away. and hes gettin awfully moody, too. real fuckin testy. starting shit with freemind for no reason and snapping at og gordon like hes a teenager. and......hes nesting, almost, or at least, gathering up a whole bunch of blankets and pillows and anything that smells vaguely like benrey. (hes not really aware hes doing this last thing.)

basically, long story short, feetman is fucked up. hes pathetic. hes being a huge bitch. at least og gordon feels vaguely sorry for him, and expresses this by way of observing him and trying to treat it. for science. its better than freemind, who just loudly complains about him being a huge bitch and reeking up the place. theres something weird coming from vr gordons corner of the house.....a musky, heady, hormonal kind of thing that makes freemind act simultaneously territorial and irritable and more lascivious than normal. and that also piques og gordons attention, because having both of them be wound up little freaks at the same time is enough to make even the most resilient person pull their hair out

now gordon primes got his suspicions as to whats going on, but hes not gonna tell vr gordon that he suspects hes going into heat. that would compromise the experiment, and all that. so poor gordons just going thru all this shit not knowing what in the fuck is wrong with him and getting more worked up and irritable about it by the day. hes convinced that hes just got the flu, or something......except, uh, haha, jesus christ he is horny all the FUCKING TIME

he doesnt get it! he feels like shit all the time, so why is he constantly fighting off boners and having weird wet dreams and thinking about-- well. his fucking boyfriend, he guesses. (are they boyfriends?? he doesnt know. he gets a weird, sharp pang when he thinks about them not being boyfriends, at this point, but its not like theyve ever talked about it!) gordons half-convinced that hes just losing his mind from being stuck inside all the time and he really just wants to see benrey again. its, like, all he thinks about. (see? hes losing it. theres the proof.)

the sucks thing for everybody else is that gordon is also Extremely Vocal about how shitty he feels and how much he wishes he didnt feel shitty so he could go see benrey and how much he cant stand benrey for not being able to read his mind and come over when he feels bad. eventually freemind gets so sick of his shit that he decides to cut out the middleman and get benrey involved directly. "come take care of your fucking dog before i call the aspca! animal neglect is a crime, asshole!"

(if pressed, freemind would adamantly reject the idea that hes being nice to gordon. but on some level, hes kinda sympathetic. the guys clearly miserable, and he just keeps asking for the same fucking thing. might as well humor him to shut him up.)

vr gordon is completely unaware of these machinations, however. hes just holed up in his room trying to work out what makes him feel better because, uhh, powerade isnt helping

jacking off doesnt do a whole lot for him anymore. like, it feels good, but its not very satisfying. gordon just ends up feeling more restless than anything afterward. and hes always stupid horny. more blankets. a box fan. less blankets. sleeping with one of benreys shirts pressed up to his face. grinding into his pillow when he wakes up hard from yet another weird dream. theyre all a little helpful, and he feels like hes working towards the right thing, somehow, but its never really enough to take the edge off

and then.....he tries......jerking off more. especially when he realizes that its bizarrely soothing to do so while he can smell benrey up close and personal on that stupid shirt of his. better still when he rolls onto his side.....and then his stomach.......rocking his hips into the mattress until he gets the idea to lift his hips a little. and......oh. cool. something kind of......clicks. in his head. as he raises his hips higher while he keeps his arms wrapped around a pillow and benreys shirt jammed against his nose. hes got that lil moment of realization that this is good, actually. this feels like a good move. and its making some of that discomfort melt away

and gordon thinks about.....how it felt. earlier. when they were with barmey. and benrey had him just like this, ass up, face down, and was spreading him apart and licking him open and making him submit and he groans so fucking hard that embarassment just rips through him like lightning. but his tail starting to wag a little faster.....electricity shooting through his belly......and he cant help but wonder. what if benrey had kept going? pulled back and-- maybe, replaced his tongue with his fingers, one at a time, curling them inside him and telling him how well hes behaving and-- and his dick throbs, hard, and gordon realizes he wants fingers inside of himself right fucking now, thank you, hes not fully certain how to accomplish it be he is going to fucking try

(sigh) so my guy figures out about the old fingers in the ass trick. and i need you to understand that i am fully convinced that this is one of those guys who has an uproarious reaction to getting fingers in his ass. mr repressed and uptight over here doesnt really get what the big deal is until he gets braver and pushes a little deeper and hes rock hard in an instant, goodbye, just like everybodys favorite creative writing exercise

and this is what he decides to do for a solid day or two without leaving his room, because, honestly, this is awesome. and the longer he spends jerking off the less time he spends stressing about the fact that his imaginations getting really vivid, here. sure, like, hes no stranger to weird dreams even before this, but this is the first time hes really letting his mind run wild and this dude is nonstop thinking about being bred and gordon still has no fucking idea that hes in heat. doesnt even occur to him

unfortunately this also does not solve his problems but at least it feels baller and it keeps him occupied. also, unfortunately, the increased rate of jerking off is causing a serious uptick in Dog Smells, the effect of which is turning freemind into a nightmare. its just not good vibes in this house. enter: benrey

now i need you to understand that when these two meet up again i want gordon to get Emotional. think about how genuinely excited he gets to see some of his pals in canon. the like......excitement and disbelief when benrey shows up outside his window throwing rocks at it before noclipping in. he forgets to even act pissed off at first. i think it would be super fucking cute for him to drop the game for a moment just out of shock, basically. his tails waggin, his ears are perked up, and hed probably tackle benrey to the ground if he wasnt also a sweaty, trembling mess whos been holed up in his room for days.

and benrey has No Fucking Idea what he has walked in on here. as far as benrey knows, freemind just demanded he get over there and take care of his dog.

(INTERLUDE: here is the part where i gin up a freemind POV of this exact scene. b/c i am out of my fucking mind

so. i had the thought of a freemind POV chapter where hes spying on gordon and benrey.....because. gordons in heat. ive talked about that scenario before too (literally so many FUCKING times okay i just need this dude to have the uncontrollable urge to be bred like a little bitch! and for benrey to take pity on him and make him feel better by nutting in him literally as many times as is physically possible!!!)

but i wanna manifest it in this specific way: from an outside perspective. voyeurism is great and also i have a one track mind and basically the only time i traffic in Other Guys in this fandom anymore is as a participant in gordon and benreys horse shit. Im not apologizing for this

lets say.....vr gordons behavior has been getting worse and worse for "unknown reasons" and freeman prime just sees it as a key observational opportunity for his research. while freeminds getting really irritated at how much its cutting into his normal way of life. for one thing, vr gordons room reeks, and he cant even escape it in his own room! and its turning him into a feisty, aggressive, and loud son of a bitch. but he cant even resolve it in his usual fashion at this point (baiting vr gordon into another competition/fuckfest) b/c gordons being a little sadsack holed up in his room and doesnt wanna play

but also.....he kinda just feels bad for the guy at a certain point. hes clearly really miserable and looks downright ill and all hes asking for is to see his boytoy again. (gordons convinced that hes dying, and feels the need to dramatically speak to benrey one last time before he croaks.) so freemind decides, in all his benevolence, to go over gordon primes head and drag the guy over there anyway. (with machinations, not his literal bare hands. what is he, a caveman?) he reasons that itll be a good opportunity to twist gordons arm into groveling at his feet later

and he spies on the two of them in gordons room.....why? idk. possibly something to do with investigating this relationship between a gordon and a barney that he had yet to fully analyze. tl;dr he gets trapped in their closet for a remix of that one barmey voyeurism chapter b/c why the fuck not

i just.....i dont know.....i think theres something really charming about a 3rd party not being able to fully make out what theyre saying or doing but piecing things together anyway.....like benreys weirdly soft tone of voice when hes talking to a super agitated gordon. as far as any of them know, hes not really like that. he either sounds bored or smug, but either way, its usually straight-up antagonistic

it would make freemind bristle to hear it b/c its almost a mocking tone, but.....it makes gordons shoulders drop and gets him to let go of some of that tension and thats probably fascinating to watch. literally soothing him like a stressed out dog, huh. smoothing back his hair and murmuring things in a low, even tone that freeminds enhanced hearing still isnt good enough to make out. (the guy mumbles, okay? he needs a fucking toastmasters meetup.)

it would equal parts horrify and fascinate freemind, in my onion. watching a version of himself fall that hard into the loyal pet role.....its pathetic! for all that gordon goes on about not being a slave to his instinct or whatever, he sure is doing a bad job of acting like it! its like watching himself, but worse.

and benreys having to soothe him like a startled animal b/c he doesnt even know whats wrong with himself, but theres something thick enough on the air that even benrey can smell it, and hes taking some stabs at the dark. especially with how charged some of the shit gordons saying is......"i cant fucking take it anymore", "you smell so good", "i dont know whats wrong with me, man, my dick hasnt gone down for days and im pretty sure i need a doctor-- no, a real one, not the other gor-- NOT a vet, JESUS"

and the whole time.....freeminds peeking from behind a closet door. watching them devolve from outright hostility into "gordon climbing into benreys lap and shoving one of benreys hands up his shirt and demanding that he fucking touch him already"

normally i dont think freemind would be averse to a little bit of voyeurism, here. if it was anybody else, hed probably at least engage in a little heavy petting. but this is getting weird, man. he cant shake the uncanny feeling that this is something too intimate for him to be watching. for one thing, gordons whimpering like a goddamn dog just from a little necking, and for two, hes never really been the kind of guy to watch people make out for 15 minutes before they get to the good stuff

its just kind of unsettling how much these two clearly really, really like each other at this point. its not like watching gordon prime give vr gordon a handjob as part of a "test". freemind expected more of a hatefuck kind of deal out of these two, what with how often gordons normally going on about how much he hates the guy, what a pain in the ass benrey is, how he just wishes benrey would stop jerking him around.....etc. freemind could shit himself right now. that lying bitch!

i imagine its also kind of painful, on a personal level, for him to watch this borderline-sappy shit. he cant even fathom being on the receiving end of that behavior, let alone from......well. theyve all got their barneys, right? and gordon primes basically doomed himself to incel status b/c he wont nut up and do anything about it. freemind just assumed they were all in the same boat: cursed to casual sex with their roommates/clones, forever, and unable to achieve any kind of intimacy b/c all 3 gordons are fucked up in the exact same way. since theyre all just diff flavors of the same fucking guy, right?

well, theres the evidence that hes wrong. and that vr gordons better than him, somehow. thats gotta suck, bro

anyway then he watches vr gordon get railed in the ass a bunch and jerks off anyway b/c its still hot. see ya)

“take care of your dog”. huh. hes got no clue what that means but, yknow, he does kinda miss his dog. hasnt seen gordon in awhile. and he immediately comments "wow. you look fucked up" in as blunt and unsympathetic a way as possible. but gordons so far gone that he cant even work up a good anger about it. he is pretty fucked up, man. and benrey sits on the bed and slaps his forehead with a palm to take his temperature (and that gets gordon to bitch at him, finally, that thats not how you do it, asshole) and judges that, uh, he is hot. in his expert opinion

and thats when gordon kinda grabs his sleeve and tugs it and starts tryin to say something. hes really bad at it, because he is having to perform the mortifying task of Owning Up To It, but eventually he manages to grind out that he needs benrey to touch him, please. just pet him. something. he feels really bad and he just needs benrey to scratch his fucking ears. this is the most gordon can cop to in one go, and it is such a sad struggle to watch, but benreys caught off guard by it and he feels weirdly bad for gordon upon hearing it so  hes just like "whoa, okay" when gordon tugs his hand to his head

gordon groans the moment his fingernails start scratching behind the ears and digging into his scalp. even just that much feels really fucking good. its comforting, for one thing, and its benrey, for another, and the physical touch feels so fucking good right now that goosebumps are crawling down his neck. gordon cant help but lean against benrey and bury his head in the crook of his shoulder. he wants to hide his face from scrutiny and he wants to get closer but he doesnt know how to say what his fucking problem is

and benreys weirdly quiet. just kinda mumbling and shushing him intermittently, awkward and not sure what to do b/c this is a level of intimacy he was not expecting but gordons sure is responding nicely to a second hand in his hair

so having both of benreys hands scratching at his scalp is really getting to gordon. hes scritchin behind the ears and gordons tails wagging at a mile a minute. the feelings making goosebumps race down his neck and arms. he starts kind of mumbling something into benreys shoulder, how hes been feeling so fucked up lately, and he squirms a little closer. hes not really aiming for anywhere in particular but every neuron thats firing in him right now is telling him to get closer. make contact. he missed the fucking guy, what can he say.

and one of benreys hands......slips down to gordons face. his jaw. a thumb pushing into that soft little divot between his jaw and neck, like hes trying to push up into gordons fucking teeth. its weird and bizarrely intrusive, but benreys hand is broad and warm and gordon leans into it anyway, groaning with relief. its not like its not doing anything for him. kind of the opposite, actually. then he palms at gordons neck, and gordon starts breathing harder. he can feel his heartbeat rabbit-fast, pushing against benreys skin (and theres no way benrey isnt feeling that, too).

benrey eyes are lidded and his breaths starting to get heavier, too. naturally, yknow, since gordons practically draped over him right now, melting all the more the longer benrey keeps petting him. oxytocin is crazy, man, especially when a guys in the full throes of some kind of chemical meltdown of the glands. gordons eyes are screwed shut, tail thumping furiously against the bed, and hes panting at benreys neck like hes a fucking dog.  he just doesnt know how to articulate what the fuck his problem is

benrey smells insanely good to him right now, and gordon just blurts that out. benrey gives him some shit for it, but when gordon only makes a weird noise in response and fists his hands in benreys hoodie, it makes him shut up real quick. hes squeezing out words about feeling like he needs something, but its clearly a fucking effort. its almost pitiful

so. gordons crawled right into benreys lap, too impatient after days and days of feeling like this (you know, being in heat, in so many words). hes been pounding off like crazy, that brand new collar of his strapped to his neck nearly every time b/c hes that desperate to feel… well. *benrey*. he cant fucking jerk off to thoughts of anything else - porn doesnt do it for him, and his fantasies slip right back to the same thing every single time. its frustrating! hes bisexual, for gods sake! its not like hes normally immune to the wiles of the Phat Ass White Girl, but lately he just keeps ending up on his hands and knees and whining benreys name into his pillow and he couldnt focus on a girls rack if he tried

point being. hes being awfully fucking demanding. (and also, hes wearing the collar *right fucking now)*. he shoves benreys hand up his shirt and shivers the moment he makes contact with gordons burning-hot flesh. and hes demanding that benrey touch him already, jesus, hes losing his mind! and benreys just crooning at him, “bossy, huh,” but hes scritching gordons ears and palming at his side and nosing at gordons neck and gordon starts to feel like hes melting into it. his protests at being talked down to are perfunctory at best

benrey licks a stripe up gordons neck and starts muttering his stupid horseshit right in gordons ear and it makes gordon clutch his shoulders so tight, claws digging into the meat of him. benreys kind of into it, though, and it just makes him laugh, low and harsh and right in gordons ear. that just makes gordons problem worse. he lets out quiet, nasal whines on every exhale, like a literal fucking dog.

he starts teasing, like, “haha, you’re *gagging* for it, bro,” but gordon doesnt respond with the defensiveness he expects. instead, its like opening a floodgate - he is, hes fucking *desperate*, okay, his dick hasnt gone down in days and he wants benrey so bad he cant see straight and he cant stop thinking about him and all of this comes tumbling out of him at once. gordons trying to press himself as close to benrey as he can physically get, legs straddling benreys lap and arms clutched tight around his back. and when benrey prods a little more, tells gordon to say what hes been thinkin about, gordon starts to pant, squeezing his eyes shut. but he cant bring himself to do anything more than choke and stutter on the words

hes half-hard in his underwear already (and, lets be be clear, he was only in boxer briefs and a tank top to begin with. hes sweating buckets and its the least amount of clothing he could get away with wearing around the house) and his tails thumping a mile a minute and hes so far gone, just from benrey talking down to him and kissing his neck and scratching his ears. but hes not budging yet, so benrey slides that hand on his ears over to his ponytail and *yanks*. tells him, “speak.” gordons dick twitches rapidly, and he lets out a sharp sound, and he finally says it: he needs benrey to *fuck* him, jesus

benrey lets out a harsh breath at that. “yeah? thats what puppy wants?” and the nickname should blister him, make him feel to embarrassed to continue, but gordons too desperate to care. he just starts spewing a litany of “god yes”s and “please”s. hes getting harder and harder, pressed up against benreys belly, and benrey can *feel* it. “good boy,” he mutters, and those claws dig harder, that panting gets louder and harsher

he slips a hand around to gordons back, rubbing slowly for a moment as if to soothe him, and then slides it under the back of gordons boxers. and lower still. starts rubbing at gordons hole. that gets a quiet “oh god” out of gordon.

gordon cant help himself - he rocks forward against benrey, just a little, rubbing his bulge against what he realizes is benreys *extremely* hard dick in his sweatpants. hes not the only one whos got it bad. but he *is* the only one whispering, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” as benrey pushes a little further, makes as if hes about to breach gordon dry. the poor guys so needy that he probably wouldnt even argue!

but benrey just stares at him, wide eyed and flushed, mouth hanging open a little. gordons so hot for this that it surprises the both of them.

anyway after some boring position finagling benrey coaxes gordon onto his hands and knees, running a broad hand down gordons shaking back. and he pulls back gordons tail, exposing him. its so fucking humiliating - gordons got his face buried in a pillow, and his ass in the air, and hes never felt so *vulnerable* before. he wants to argue, he wants to lift his head and look back to make sure that everythings, like, okay back there - benreys staring at his entire asshole, okay, and he wasnt exactly anticipating benrey making a house call to fuck him in the ass - but every time he lifts his head, or starts to say something neurotic about it, benrey chides him about it. clicks his tongue. tells him, “hey. dogs dont talk” or “i said *bow*, bro”.

for all his insisting that hes a real guy, that hes not just a dog, gordons feeling less and less like a human and more like something in thrall to his instincts. the condescension rankles like it always does, but doing what benrey tells him to feels good. feels natural. presenting himself like this feels like what hes *supposed* to do. it doesnt stop him from running his mouth entirely, but it helps to mitigate some of the embarrassment.

and then… benrey *licks*. gordon tenses and gasps. he doesnt know how benrey can stand it, its gotta be, like, unhygienic! but that didnt scare him off the last time they tried this, and its not like gordon hasnt thought about it since. hes thought about it a lot, actually. but hes been too neurotic to ask for it. benreys not stupid, though. hes a good dog owner (at least, so he thinks) and hes gonna take care of his dog. so he licks again, and again, pressing a little harder against gordons hole on each pass with the broad side of his tongue until he dares to breach it with the tip.

gordons rock hard again in an instant. his dick hangs between his legs and drips onto the sheets. he digs his fingers into the pillow now, tearing holes in its surface with those sharp nails of his, and he makes embarrassingly high noises that he muffles into into the pillow, too. hes tense, hes so fucking tense, he should be clamping down and making benreys task really fucking hard, but theres bright pink sweet voice dripping from his hole and benreys rubbing the side of his thigh in an effort to soothe him and both of these things work in tandem to get him to relax. and benrey works his tongue in further, further than a human ought to.

the tip was one thing, but it gets wider as benrey pushes it in, and its just as good as it was before - better, even, because now its just the two of them, just a master and his dog, and benreys the only one he wants to see him like this. bent over and whimpering. he cant— he cant stomach the thought of anybody else doing this to him. hell, there was a point once where the idea of stomaching *benrey* doing this to him would have made him laugh. but here he is. benreys fucking him open with his tongue and pressing against something thats making him see stars and gordon just wants *more*. he says it so sweet, too, voice growing hoarse and raw as he begs benrey to just fucking do it already, he doesnt wanna come like this!

gordon gets so worked up and emotional about it that benrey takes the time to scratch behind his ears again, shushing him and telling him to chill. benreys got him. hes been a good dog, and good dogs get treats. hearing the words “good dog” makes gordons entire body flush. thats all he wants, really. he wants to be a good dog. he wants to be *told*. he blurts out, “oh my god— say it again,” and benreys like, “huh? say what? youre gonna have to be more specific,” clicking the last syllable. it makes all the hairs on gordons head rise and prickle with shame. the best he can do is mumble it into his pillow.

benrey hears it, though, and tugs at gordons collar from behind, just enough to raise his head. “whassat? you want me to call you a good boy?” gordon cant bring himself to answer that directly, but his stupid body betrays him by making him whine. jesus christ, yes, thats all he WANTS! he needs benrey to be good and nice to him for once in his fucking life and give him what he wants instead of taking, taking, taking! but benrey just tells him that hes gonna have to earn it. gonna have to be *real* good for him. gordon could fucking snarl at that, but benreys pulling back to rub his dick between gordons cheeks and against his hole and that shuts him up pretty fast because hes *so close* to getting what he wants and hes not about to fuck it up now by running his big dumb mouth

and then… he starts to push in. that sweet voice has loosened gordon up enough to take even benrey, who, uh, is definitely the bigger of the two, in that regard. he goes slow, uncharacteristically so, and gordons chest heaves with the force of how hard hes breathing. a quiet string of “oh god”s spills out of him as he tries to crane his neck back to watch. the head breaches him with a strange popping sensation, and benrey groans, loud, as the rest of him slides in with little resistance in comparison. “good,” he pants in turn, “youre takin it so good,” and—

and gordon comes, in weak, aborted spurts. it snuck up on him. he clenches so fucking tightly that it winds benrey a little. he breathes out, “whoa. did you—” but gordon just begs him to shut up, keep going, hes not— hes not done yet, its always like this, its not *enough*. his dick barely even flags afterward, it just hangs there, achingly hard and dripping with cum. benrey cant even find it in himself to make fun of him. he wants it so fucking bad, doesnt he? and he feels so good, so fucking tight and slick around benrey that the only thought running through his head is “gotta take care of my dog gotta fuck my best friend gotta nut in him and make him howl”. so he pushes himself alllll the way in until theyre pressed together, skin to skin.

then he starts to move. slow, careful thrusts, more for benreys benefit than gordons. if hes not careful, hes gonna blow his load, right then and there, and hes trying to make it good for gordon, too, okay? unlike *some* of them, hes not gonna bust in two minutes and then spend the next half hour crying and trauma-dumping to the guy hes still got his dick inside of.

once he thinks hes got a grip, though, benrey starts fucking him in earnest, and that changes gordons vocalizations from weak little whimpers into something louder. less restrained. hes given up any pretense of being quiet so that his other selves dont hear that hes snuck his boytoy into his room. just loud, wordless moans on each thrust, initially muffled into the pillow but soon spilling into the wider room when he turns his head to catch his breath. the only words hes managing are “oh god” and “please” and “benrey, benrey, *benrey*”, and benrey just responds to him like, “yeah? thats good? fuuuck, bro, so good for me,” all short of breath and barely able to speak himself

he wants to see gordons face. he *needs* to see gordons face. needs to see what hes doing to him, needs to see that cute fuckin blush of his. so he tugs on gordons collar again, bringing him to his hands and knees properly instead of that bowing position. and then further still - pulls him back so that benreys on his knees, and gordons on his knees in turn, on his lap, cock still buried inside of him and fucking him in short, hurried thrusts. “paws up,” benrey tells him, and gordon does it. instantly. no resistance. just folds them at his chest like a real dog would.

“whos a good boy?” benrey croons, right in his ear again. gordon gasps, “i-i am!”

“yeah? youre a good boy?” nod, wail. “whose— whose good boy are you?”

and gordon chokes on his response. he cant say it, he *cant*, he doesnt want to be benreys but he does, he *does*. he doesnt want to be benreys because its not fucking fair! he cares so fucking much! so much more than benrey does, it feels like, obsessing over the guy like hes wrapped thorny vines all around gordons heart and he cant so much as shift in his seat without feeling the tug and the ache and thinking of benrey again. and benrey doesnt care, he never fucking cares, except—

except he showed up at gordons house, in his room. without even being asked. like he knew something was wrong. and he— hes always talking to gordon, shooting him stupid texts just to make him laugh. scheduling *date nights* for them. date nights where, yeah, maybe they couldnt see each other in person, and maybe they always end in some kind of depraved sexual act, but its not like gordons not into it. hes frighteningly into it, actually. and hes *so* into hearing benreys voice, low and crooning, right in his ear, and seeing him lean on an elbow and smile at him afterward. its— its practically genuine. and benreys always making excuses to talk with him, do things with him, watch stupid fucking movies that only gordon cares about and stream with him on twitch to help boost his subscriber count and—

and—

oh god. maybe he *does* care. that might be more terrifying than the alternative.

then benrey yanks the collar again. presses the whole of gordons back against his front in one hot, unbroken line. and asks, “i said, whose good boy are you, bro? *speak.*”

“benrey,” he blurts out, a ragged moan, “d-dont make me sa-AY it, oh god—”

“no?” benrey stills suddenly. his hands keep gordon stuck in place, unable to move or bounce or feel benrey shift inside of him. “thats, uh… thats too bad, friend. this trains for good boys only. good dogs go to heaven 2. no bad dogs allowed. gonna have to, uhh, escort you off—”

“im not a bad dog!”

“i dunno, gordo. bein’ kind of, uh… disobedient.”

(sorry. thats all i got . byeeee)

#this is so far from finished b/c A) im a coward now and B) typing qith my left hand sucks so i dont wanna do it right now. Sorry #writin stuff

[wonderwomanfantasy]

Internet Hottie

I have no clue what made this fic pop off the way it did but here you go a part two 

part one

Enji Todoroki x Camgirl!Reader

warnings: smut, Sex work, cam show, masturbation, cum play, sugar daddy themes, black mail(ish), size kink, dd/lg, 

word count: 3,000 (about)

summary: Enji is more than willing to pay the price of a private show if it means he gets to see how cute you are when you moan his name again, little does he know having the real deal right in fornt of him is only a chace encounter away.  

“You know most people turn on their cameras for private shows, let me see you too,” you teased slowly running your hands over your arms feeling the fabric of the soft pink cardigin, raising it back up over your bare sholder. 

Normally you were a little more careful with accepting private shows, but this pertuclar intrested you. You saw his username pop up almost every show, and he paid a lot of money too, but he never commented, normally guys that finatical about your shows would at least comment hello, or something nasty to get your attention. Not him though. So you were a little curious what exactly he was into, besides, you knew this one wasn’t going to skimp on the payment. 

You had approved his request in just a few hours, even if you were still sore from the Endevour toy you’d ridden earler tonight, it wouldn’t kill you to do a little more tonight. You’d just have to makeup some excuse about pulling a muscule picking up heavy boxes or something to your day job.

what if I don’t want to show my face?

The message poped up on screen making you laugh. “ah you think I want to see your face handsome? I’m after something a little lower actually,” you teased. 

Suddenly the camera of the mistery man flashed on the cammera pointed at his  crotch. You gasped seeing him. He was naked, which wasn’t supprising. but his cock. good lord his cock was huge, bigger than any toy you had, thick around the base with a flushed head such a dark shade of red it was almost purple. his testicles were heavy-looking rested against his thighs wich were easily bigger than your head and coated with corse red hairs. 

Are you just going to gape at me? 

anouther message to distract you. You snapped your mouth shut and regained your compouser. you were the star here he was the fanboy you couldn’t let the dynamic shift. 

“I’ll have you know most guys have to pay good money for me to ogel at their cocks like that, I’m a pretty girl you should feel honored, Do you have like a horse quirk or something?”

I am paying good moeny

fuck. you were still to distracted to come up with anything good. “you can unmute yourself, I want to see if there is a pretty voice to match that goregous cock,” you purred changing the subject. Hopefully, his voice was high pitched or annoying so you could stop drooling over him

No

“you’re no fun,” you pouted. 

Are you always such a brat?

That made you smile, You were getting on his nerves. good. you batted your eye lashes and covered your face with your hand, pretending to be embaressed. “Sorry daddy, I didn’t mean to misbehave what was it you wanted me to do again?”

Enji fidgeted trying to get comfortable in his office chair, painfully aware you could see his smallest movements. your eyes trained on the computer screen, this was far too exposing for his tastes, he didn’t know how you could stoumach thousands of people looking at you like this. 

But it was thrilling knowing that it was his cock that made you go completley silent for a few moments. It was his cock that you couldn’t take your eyes off of, maybe that’s what spurred you on. Then againt the moeny didn’t hurt either. 

You were so pretty, and soft as ever in a too large pink sweater that kept slipping off one shoulder almost revealing your bare breasts but never doing so fully. 

you settled on your knees and lifted the sweater up for him to see the soft skin of your upper thighs and your soft gray cotton panties. They were much less flashy than what you would normally where for a show but they were making Enji go feral.

It felt almost real, like you really were his little girl showing off your honyed cunt just for him. he couldn’t help but wonder if those were the kind of panties you wore in your day to day life. God what he wouldn’t give to breath in the musk of your scent right now. 

“you’re cock is twitching so bad Daddy, why don’t you stroke it a little bit?” you prompted. It was true, his cock was painfully hard, begging to be touched, 

Are you trying to tell me what to do?

He snapped back and watched you flush and mess whith the hem of your sweater nervously.

“That’s not what I ment, I just wanted to see you touch yourself,” you mumbled. He decided to appease you, he reached down wrapping one large hand around the base of his cock squeezing and causing precum to oze out the top before dibbling down his inflamed head. Like a good girl you watched with wrapped attention as he bobed his hand up and down easing some of the tension in his gut.

“you’re cock is so big, I don’t know if I could fit both of my hands around it,” you breathed

Who’s camming for who here? he typed 

“Right! Sorry! what do you want me to do,” It was cute how egar you were to please

take out the Endevour toy and start jerking it off

Your eyes went wide “you aren’t going to make me ride it again are you?” He smiled to himself, where you scared of him? Scared about how much his cock was going to hurt as it ripped through you?

Just jerk it off for now and tell me how good it felt while it was inside of you. 

Obedently you centered the toy in front of you and wrapped both your hands around the length slowly working your hands up and down, matching his pace, your small hands could wrap around the tip just fine but parted towards the thicker middle. 

“It hurt a lot-” you admited. “-but it was so big it hit all the spots inside of me at once with out even trying, I’m supprised I didn’t squirt it kept hitting my G-spot over and over again. You can’t really see it but theres this vein right at the bottom that bumps my clit when I put it inside,” you described while Enji contuied to touch himself. 

From this angel he could see clear down your top, he didn’t know if it was intentional or not but he  could see your soft tits bounce and shift with each of your movements and it was hard to focus on anything else

Take off your panties

you pulled away from the toy and slid the soft gray fabric down your thighs. You crossed your legs blocking your soft pussy from veiw. He grunted with agrivation. 

show me

“show you what? can’t you see all of me?” you asked sweetly. 

show me your pussy or I’ll leave

“don’t leave,” you begged, your eyes went wide and instantly your legs spread showing him your drooling pussy.

“slut,” he mumbled to himself. “you didn’t even bother cleaning up your sopping pussy in between shows,” he growled his hand moving faster as you slid your figners over your lips parting your folds for him to get a close look

Pretty. 

“Thank you? should I keep touching the toy or...”

hump it

You laid the Dildo down and carefully straddled it nessling it between your peach fuzz lips. You rested your hands on the bed and slowly started rocking back and forth, your clit rutting against the silicone veins.

How does it feel?

“I bet your cock would feel a lot better, Your cock is warm and moves, and if I was on your cock I get the rest of you. It feels good but at the end of the day plastic is plastic,” you sighed making his cock jump in his hand. it was hard to keep his composure like this. The image of you, real and in his arms slowly rolling your hips against his groin while you looked up at him with those perfect glittery eyes wasn’t helping

And what wold you do with ‘the rest of me’?

“I like kissing,” you muttered, the innocent answer almost took him by surprise. 

“but I also think your hands are pretty big, I’d want you to finger me- or you know,”

I don’t know spell it out for me.

“choke me,” you admited. suddenly the fantasy in Enji’s mind dhifted, now you were grinding on his cock with tear filled eyes while he cut of your breathing, his tounge forcing it’s way into your mouth, fuck he wanted to taste you so bad. You had stated clearly and many times that you didn’t do in person meet ups, even if it was just for a date, but there was a chace you’d do it for the right price, and he was willing to pay any number you named right at that moment. 

He pulled away from his cock at the last moment to keep himself from cumming too soon. again. His prick flowndered for a moment, searching for friction. you whinned losing your own personal show, but you kept riding the toy like a good obedent little slut.

Cum for me. then show me the mess you make. 

You panted and started rutting your hips faster, your eyes glazing over as you chased your release, your mouth formed an O shape and a breathy moan fell from your parted lips as you came. you stayed there for a moment, gathering yourself agian before sitting back and puling up the sweater so he could see the transperent slick coating your thighs and sex. 

play with your clit. 

you whimpered and reached down between your legs stroking the sensitive bud causing your legs too twitch. must be hard on your poor pussy, going through three orgasums in one night. 

He leaned closer, so close his warm breath fogged the computer screen and started fisting his cock again. he really did feel like a teenager, one finding poor for the first time and revleing in that unique voyerisum. It wasn’t long until his own cum was splattering his chest, again. 

You watched as it happened with open facination. almost like you’d never seen someone cum so much before. Enji wouldn’t be supprised if he had a more semen than the average man, He was glad to have impressed you. 

Leaving was far more awkward than in a live show, you didn’t just decide to close the streem instead he told you he was finished, paid his tab and left the call. 

Enji grunted seeing the time. He had spent far to mch time toying with you tonight, there would be hell to pay tomorrow morning when he’d missed out on so much valuable sleep. 

It had been a week and he hadn’t tried contacting you again. Not becuase he hadn’t wanted to, he had just been too busy to even entertain the notion of anouther private show. 

But today was Wednesday which meant not only did he get off of work early today but also, you would be streaming tonight and he could blow off some steam. Just one more meeting with Hawks and he was free. 

Endevour turned the corner heading twards his office when he froze. A familiar frame caught his attention. He trailed his eyes over your form. completely different from what he was used to seeing you in, you were dressed smartly in a black suit and skirt ensemble with sensible black pumps. your hair neatly slicked back from your face. but there was no denying you were the same person. 

he watched your knock once on the door before entering. Through the widnow he saw you cross to where Hawks was sitting and hand him a cup of coffee. He had known Keigo was bringing his pa, a woman endevour had never met before, but he should have mentioned his personal assistant was a fucking cam girl. No wonder your schedual matched his so neetly, you were running on hero time. 

Enji squared his shoulders and marched in. there was no way you would recognize him. He would stay proffecinoal and do his best to imagine you with clothes on. 

“Here, keigo, four cream and seventeen sugars just how you like it,” you said handing your boss his redicoulous coffee order. he smiled and took a sip

“Thanks babe, perfect as always,” he cooed happily and you took a seat beside him waiting for Enedevour to arive. 

“those things are going to kill you some day,” you commented watching him take anouther sip of coffee.

“I highly doubt the sugar is going to kill me before the bad guys do,” he teased then the door slamed open and the man of the hour walked in. 

“Do you always barge into people’s offices like you own the place Hawks?” Endevour growled before sitting at his desk. You tried not to stare and be unprofessional but it was hard not to. He was just so big, his bulging muscles showed even under his clothes. You thought to last weeks live when you had used the toy themed after him and how sore you were after that. you were right, if you ever fucked him he’d brake you. 

“not my fault you were late,” hawks shrugged. The older man glared, he looked about ready to hit your boss. an understandable feeling.

“whatever, lets get started. The-” Just as endevour began to speak Hawks’s phone rang. His work phone. He jumped and answered. 

“sorry I have to run- (y/n) rescedual for me? maybe something tonight? yeah okay bye,” then he was gone. you sighed and turned to Endevour, who looked as pissed as ever. 

“I’m sorry about that, but I’m sure you understand duty calls,” you apologized bowing slightly. 

“Is he like this with everyone or does he enjoy annoying me particularly?” he asked making you laugh lightly. 

“I think he likes to get under your skin, you should feel speical,” He was supprisingly fun to tease, you wouldn’t dare needle him the way you did Keigo but it wouldn’t hurt to rib him a little bit. 

“A meeting later tonight won’t work for me,” he stated, knowing that you couldn’t make it either. If you had been planing on cancling the live he would have gotten the notifcation by now. you smiled polietly and nodded. 

“okay let me check when we’ll be avalable again,” you said relaxing in the chait, before he could ask what you were doing, your eyes turned completley white, the iris and the puple both clouding over with a milky film. 

“this friday at nine pm, does that work?” you asked, your eyes turning back to normal.  Could you really see hawks’s full scedual in your mind? what a useful quirk. He wondered if he could buy you out, although it was a dangerous game if you worked for him. neither of you would get much done that way. 

“is there anything else I can do for you, Sir?” you asked, standing and smoothing out your skirt. 

“yes atcually, I have a couple questions for you,”

“I’ll do my best to answer,” 

“Does Keigo know he hired a porn star?” 

Your breath caught in oyur throat and you almost choked. You’d been recognized in public before, but never by someone with status, no one who knew about your day job. 

“He does,” you answered supprised at how calm you sonded. you just had to breath and remeber. You were star here, Endevour was just another creep who watched you. The thought of Endevour watching you while you made yourself cum sent a jolt through your body.

“if I’m not mistaken, he’s even watched a few of my shows,” you added just to gage his reaction. It had been legally required of you to disclose any other sorces of income you had, Hawks had just laughed it off and assured you that it wasn’t a big deal, after threatening to subscribe to your OnlyFans that was. A threat he’d never followed through on. 

“did he see the show where you screamed my name while fucking yourself?” Endevour asked standing casually and crossing over to the office door. one by one he drew the shudderes. Meaning no one could see into the office. your heart was hammering now, as you guessed where this was going. 

“And what if the public knew that the woman behind the number two hero was secretly showing off her pussy for the whole world to see? what then?”

then you would lose your job you thought but instead you called his bluff. 

“It would be a scandel I’m sure but it would be easily smoothed over, Hawks fans are younger more progressive, he’d probably get a lot of praise if he openly supported sex work and gave an interview where he talked about how he respects my bodly autonimy and my intlect.” you said with false confidence. in reality you knew the commision would rather throw you to the wolves than let you keep your job, but maybe Endevour didn’t know how disposable you really where. 

“it would be another sotry if say, your fans found out you were watching my videos.” you said. he raised an eyebrow at you

“how so?”

“You’re audience is a lot older, more consrvative the’d be horifed at the thought,” you explained. 

“To me it sounds like you’re lying,” Endevour said crossing over to you He lifted you up by the waist seting you down on his desk his harge arms caging you in. 

“it souds to me like we both have pretty good reasons to keep quiet, the only question is what are you willing to give to buy my silence?” he purred reaching out and undoing the butons of your blazer, slipping the jacket off of your shoulders. His skin was so warm, his breath was beating down your neck. His eyes freezing you in place. you could barley speak he was so close. 

“how about a private show?”

#mha endeavor #endeavor x reader #endeavor x reader smut #enji todoroki #enji todoroki x reader #enji todoroki x reader smut #my hero academia #my hero acadamy #my hero academia imagine #my hero academia head cannon #mha pro heroes

[onecanonlife]

haha how about that stream you guys?? here, have a ficlet

......................

It’s nearing nighttime when he gets the message.

phil

That’s it. Just, phil. Nothing else. No ornamentation. No swearing. No capitalization. And Philza feels his heart drop into his shoes, because Tommy hasn’t messaged him in ages. Hasn’t wanted anything to do with him, really, and Phil can’t particularly blame him for it. So for Tommy to comm him out of the blue, and to comm him with something like that—

Something is wrong. Something is very, very wrong.

He ignores the look of concern that Techno is sending him, focusing all of his attention on the tablet in his hands.

what’s up, mate?

Something simple. Not too pushy, just in case he’s reading this wrong and everything’s fine—and Prime, how he hopes that’s the case. That Tommy’s thought of some minor grievance to yell at him about, and this is just a deceptively calm beginning. Or maybe just that Tommy’s tired. That could be it. He hopes that’s it. Though he knows in his heart of hearts that it isn’t.

“Phil?” Techno asks, but he just shakes his head, not daring to look up from his communicator. The next message takes a full three minutes to come, and he knows because he counts every second, his heart beating triple-time and his wings shifting restlessly behind him, begging him to take flight, as tattered and useless as they are.

i need help

He breathes. In and out. Unsteady.

what’s wrong? he types out, and hopes that he doesn’t come off as dismissive, hopes that he doesn’t come off as curt. There’s nothing else he can think to type, and nothing else that his shaking hands will let him.

The response comes quicker this time, but there is no relief to be found in it.

im stuck w drem in prison

pleas

He’s faced armies. He survived five years on a hardcore world before a death wrote itself into his code and he was forced out. He has conquered nations, spilt more blood than he cares to ever measure. It is not for nothing that he is called the Angel of Death. It is not for nothing that most of the inhabitants of this server know to leave him be. But he doesn’t think that he has ever known fear like this before, fear that freezes him down to his marrow, fear that tastes like dust and gunpowder and looks like a room full of buttons and feels like a sword in his hand that isn’t his.

what??? he sends, and then immediately afterward. are you alright????

It’s a stupid question. Obviously Tommy isn’t alright. Can’t possibly be alright. But he needs an answer, needs to know if his son is unharmed, physically at least. And he needs to know how in the fuck this happened, because he doesn’t know much about the prison but he does know that it’s supposed to be safe. Is supposed to be secure. Is not supposed to trap people who don’t fucking belong there.

no

he keeps talkign to me

he wont shut up i want him to shut up

He stands, his blood boiling to a crescendo.

there was a securty thing

sam cant get me out im stuck

its on lockdwn

but i need to get out

“Phil, what is it?”

I’m coming, he types.

theres lava

The world goes completely still. There is a hurricane all around. He feels his wings flare.

“Tommy’s stuck in prison with Dream,” he says, and his voice is distant to his own ears. “I’m going to get him out.” And on his comm, he sends, Hang in there, Tommy. I’m coming to get you.

And in his mind he prays to every god he can think of: Don’t make a liar out of me.

“Bruh,” Techno says. “Isn’t that place supposed to be secure?” He pauses, and then adds, “How are you plannin’ on getting’ in?”

What he really means by that is, Do you want me to come? Technoblade may claim to no longer hold any affection for Tommy, but Phil has always been able to see right through that. And he knows that if he asked, Techno would move mountains to help him, no matter the objective, no matter the past betrayals.

But this—this, he needs to do himself.

“I haven’t met a prison yet that could hold me,” he says. “Or one that could hold me out.”

And neither will this. Neither will this, if he has to break through stone with his fingernails. Neither will this, if he has to bloody his hands a thousand times—it is not for nothing that he is called the Angel of Death.

He has not been there for his son. Not when he’s needed him most. He’s failed him countless times.

Not again.

Dream will not harm him again.

“Alright,” Technoblade says, and he knows he understands. “Don’t get yourself in too much trouble.”

He smiles a smile that is not a smile at all, but rather something grim and bloodthirsty and eager and angry.

“When do I ever?” the Angel of Death says, and takes up his sword.

Hold on, Tommy. I’m coming.

#tommy called out for phil and subsequently broke my heart #call this wish fulfillment #dsmp spoilers #dsmp #dream smp #philza #tommyinnit #technoblade #dadza #dsmp fic #/rp #cat writes fic #long post #i wrote this in 30 minutes and it's unedited pls don't examine it too closely

[machinegunbun]

🤘-

What about reader is the manager/assistant and fucks up some bug career opportunity for them?

Mistakes can allways happen but that was something really big

Maybe even gets fired for it?

Fucked It +

TW?: Mostly angst but theres some very slight smut with readers S/O

A/N: Not to age the writing but Im writing this as colson tweets that he’s gonna play at the halftime show in the next few years. S/O= Significant Other. I wanted to keep it kinda gender neutral cause bi people exist i dunno. 

Word count:1.8k A little longer than a blurb, but just as dialogue-y

This year had been stressful, to say the least. There was the release of tickets to my downfall, and along with that the cover scandal, the bloody valentine music video, downfalls high, the snl episode. It was like every second of your day was filled with something, you rarely got the chance to spend time with your S/O.

That’s right, you had an S/O. Being Colson’s manager wasn’t your entire existence, although you’d seemed to have forgotten that recently. Their name is Devin, and they are not very happy with you.

They’d broken down in tears your first full night home, telling you how under appreciated they had felt while you were away. Devin had a life of their own too, though, and considering the pandemic at hand had chosen to go stay with their family to avoid the covid hot spot that was LA. You understood, and as much as you hated to admit it you barely even realized they were gone. You didn’t know what that meant, but you knew whatever it meant wasn’t anything good for your relationship, but, you loved them and you wanted to recreate that spark.

You wanted to put work into them, and you, and most importantly your relationship. You’d gotten through the emotions, but as for the spark there was only so much you could do thousands of miles away. So, you decided to put in the work and devise a plan. Your plan started about an hour and a half ago, beginning with a shower and ending with your favorite lipstick.

You love Devin and you want nothing more than to wrap them up in a soft blanket and kiss them on the forehead and take them on picnics, but you also wanted them to look at you and touch themselves. You could do one of those things in your current situation, and you felt both would help to replenish your spark.

You looked good too, dressed in your lingerie with your hair all done. You felt so unbelievably sexy just looking at yourself in the mirror, you wished they were here to witness it.

You stood in the doorway of your bedroom, your LED lights set to red, your phone set to start recording in 

3…

2…

1…

You tried your best to pose sexily in the small frame, arching your back and playing with your hair, slowly slinking down the wall. You were sure when you sent this Devin would be calling you within seconds. You checked the video, editing it to the length you liked and saving it to your camera roll.

Butterflies began fluttering in your stomach as you looked at your message app. You had seen Devin in so long, what if the spark had really gone? What if they didn’t want you anymore? Or what if they just didn’t want you right now, what if this wasn’t the right thing to do?

You took a deep breath, looking yourself in the mirror and quickly clicking through your messages, sending it before you could think too much and clicking your phone off. You moved from the bathroom, moving to your bed, staring at your phone and waiting patiently for a response.

After thirty minutes you gave up, too nervous to check if they’d seen it. You were cool.

Well, you were cool now that you had cried and and picked yourself apart piece by piece, ending up on the couch in a heap of blankets eating a family bag of your favorite chips to yourself. Family guy played on the TV, the episode only really meant to drain out the noise of your thoughts, and momentarily the bling of your phone. You would’ve missed it entirely if it weren’t for the flickering of your flashlight that you’d enabled to make sure you didn’t.

You rushed from your comfy blanket fort, spilling your chips on the way, your hand wrapping tightly around your phone. You turned it around, seeing that the notification that had popped up was only from Dylan, the guy that got Colson a place at the halftime show. 

Work, great, the thing that started this all. Was this the universe telling you it was over? You read on.

It simply said “Call me.”

Your eyebrow raised, considering waiting until tomorrow. You opened your messages, seeing that you had accidentally sent him the video of you in your lingerie. Fuck, thats why Devin hadn’t responded.

You opened his contact, calling him quickly, each ring feeling like needles being inserted into your brain.

“So I hope you understand why we wouldn’t want to be associated with that unprofessionalism.” He said, you’d zoned out through his lecture

“I understand, I do, but I hope you’d be willing to reconsider as this was a mistake on my part and not Colson’s. And seeing as this isn’t public I hope we can just brush this all under the rug and forget it ever-”

“I hear you, but I don’t think that will be possible. Mistake or not it was unprofessional on so many different levels

“But, sir-” You tried, your fingers thumbing over the buttons of the remote to mute the tv.

“It’s over, I’m afraid.” He responded, a beeping noise signalling the call had ended

Oh, nicer, you thought sarcastically, it wasn’t the universe after all, it was the manager.

Tossing your phone on the couch beside you, you retreated to your blanket fort, unmuting the TV.

Colson and the boys had been looking forward to performing at the halftime show since you’d met them. They’d been so excited when you told them you’d got them a spot. Although it was the last thing you wanted to do right now, you knew you had to break the news to Colson. 

You stared at your phone, willing yourself to reach over and call him, eventually drifting off into an unsatisfying sleep.

“Oh good, you’re here! Okay, so I was thinking for the halftime show-” Colson began, but you cut him off before he could continue

“Oh, yeah, about that.” You say, rubbing your head in hopes it would soothe the dull ache that had begun to rear its ugly head. You opened your eyes in time to watch the excitement drop from Colson’s face.

“I…” You began, not sure how to start “I fucked it.” You began to laugh, taking a moment to acknowledge how ridiculous the situation had really been.

“What do you mean?” He asks, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion.

“Devin and I are going through a bit of a rough patch with them being away and all, so I decided to try and,” You made a vague shimmy movement with your shoulders “spark things up a bit. You know the silhouette challenge on tik tok? I did that, but I got nervous when I sent the video and I was on the couch for like hours crying too scared to see if they even looked at it, next thing I know I’m getting texted by Dylan asking me to call him.” You paused, partly for dramatic effect and partly to let yourself laugh. You buried your face in your hands, Colson watching in amusement, eager for the end of your clearly hilarious story.

“I accidentally sent him my nudes. It was so fucking embarassing, oh my god!” You finish, looking up from your hands to realize no one else seemed amused.

“What’s that got to do with the halftime show?” Rook questioned.

“Oh, right.” You’d completely lost track in the midst of your rambling “He said it was completely unprofessional and he wasn’t interested in working with us.”

Colson remained silent for a moment, looking over to the other boys before responding “He isn’t interested in working with you.” Your eyebrows furrowed at this, looking between the boys..

“What’s that mean?” 

“This is the gig of our lifetime. I’ve- We’ve wanted to play the halftime show since… forever. This was our one chance and because of you we got booted out. And you were laughing about it.”

“I’m sorry, it was a genuine accident, I thought you’d find it funny. Some corporate guy saw my tits ‘cause my relationship is failing, if I don’t laugh I cry.”

 “You’re the one who sent him the nudes. This is your fuck up.”

“Yeah, okay. But I work for you, so by association he won’t work with us.”

“Then you aren’t a part of ‘us’ anymore.”

“Colson, seriously? It was a fucking accident. You’re being ridiculous.”

“Watch your tone, I think you’re forgetting you work for me. I’m a nice guy, but this isn’t my shit to deal with.”

“I’m sorry.” You repeated, your voice lowering. It was easy to forget Colson was your boss, he never treated you like an employee. There was more respect between the two of you than any boss/employee relationship you’d ever seen before. You’d never even seen him mad before today. You were genuinely lucky to have had this experience, to think that it was about to come to an end broke your heart.

“Is sorry going to get us this gig back?” The question was rhetorical, but you shook your head “Then I’m sorry, I can’t let this pass me up because of something you did.” Colson says, staring you down. You stood like a statue in your place, unsure whether or not you should leave. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife.

You took it upon yourself to make the decision to turn and leave, driving to the nearest gas station, where you sat in your car, crying in the parking lot.

Everything was fine and in the matter of a week it had all gone to shit. How did this happen?

You were in a happy relationship, and now they were living with their parents for who knows why and telling you they felt neglected. Your career was going amazing and you’d ruined it completely with one mistext.

You started your car back up, settling on the hope that maybe Colson and Dylan would come to their senses, and come Monday morning you would still have a job.

#mgk #mgk angst #mgk fanfic #mgk x reader #machinegunkelly #machinegunkelly angst #machinegunkelly fanfic #machinegunkelly x reader #Colson baker #colson baker fanfic #colson baker x reader #colson baker angst

[beomglocks]

terror ave. ; c.bg

warnings and other: um?, theres a serial killer, murder is mentioned, nothing too detailed, not proofread bc i wrote this at 4am

"we advise everyone to be in complete lockdown as there have seemed to have been reports of a serial killer gone loose in the area. so far no one has been injured but we suggest taking extra precautions tonight. please do not go outside during this time. lock your doors, close your windows, and turn off all the ligh-"

frowning, you look down at the tub of ice cream situated in between your legs. you lick the ice cream from your spoon as the rest of the news report gets drowned out by your thoughts. wait- shit i think i forgot to lock the back door... you shrug. you forgot that you had invited your neighbor beomgyu over, earlier in the day. he had insisted that he had a cool new pokemon to show you on his switch and you, stupidly, allowed him to show you. to your dismay, it only turned out to be a measly skwovet.

"gyu, you can literally catch these at route 1. you know, in the beginning of the game?" you had told him with a disappointed look on your face. "you're on your 5th gym."

he had gasped in offense, bringing his switch closer to his chest to shield the creature from further judgment. "y/n how dare you! it's the cutest pokemon in the game so of course, i went back to get one. don't you think you're being too mean?"

you giggled to yourself remembering the little back and forth. you've been living alone in your current house for only a couple of months. you were surprised your parents let you move out and have a whole house in the suburbs to yourself considering how strict and overprotective they were. upon moving, you quickly befriended choi beomgyu, the literal boy next door. he had offered to help you get your couch through the door and proceeded to eat his melting chocolate bar on said couch. from then on you and him have been best friends ever since, sometimes having him sleepover or vise versa.

you weren't worried about some rando serial killer in your neighborhood since nothing ever happened to you. you were convinced you weren't the main character.

from your couch, you looked outside to see that beomgyu's lights were already turned off. he must've gone to sleep early. your eyes catch the clock on your wall and you subconsciously yawn when you see how late it is. 1:56 am? damn... i should probably go to sleep too.

you pick up the tub of ice cream and take it back to your kitchen. its fucking chilly in here. you rub your arms as goosebumps start to form on them. you peek around the corner of the wall dividing your kitchen to where the back door is located. it's slightly cracked open and that raises some bit of concern in your head. again, you shrug. you remember beomgyu leaving out the back door since he liked coming in from the back instead of the front. an odd quirk of his that you never got to question him about because every time you tried he would simply smile at you cutely and say something like "its cool that's why."

you walk over to the door while being cautious about where you step since your house was pretty messy. you shut the door and sigh, dragging your body towards the living room again to turn the tv off. the news reporter was just about to give more instructions but frankly, you're too tired to care.

now that the tv was turned off you felt a weird sense of loneliness. the white noise being emitted from the screen becoming a bit too deafening to your ears to handle. you switch the tv off properly and toss the remote somewhere on the couch.

you walk up to your bedroom while scrolling through your Instagram feed. you laugh at the caption of beomgyu's latest post because it's alluding to the argument you both had earlier and type a comment hoping that he'll have time to read it when he wakes up.

when you reach your bedroom you toss your phone haphazardly on your bed and flop yourself into the sheets. today was fairly unproductive but that's been the premise of your days lately. you wonder how you manage to do absolutely nothing yet feel the weight of 10 thousand bricks on you back.

you sigh as you feel yourself slowly drift off to sleep but a noise in the room next door startles you. if you had been fully asleep you probably wouldn't have heard it but you're sure you heard a noise even in your half-asleep state. you sit up in your bed pulling the sheets closer to you. you decide to hold your breath in case you hear another noise or if you're just being delusional and sleep-deprived.

you wait for a while and after 5 minutes you don't hear anything. you sigh quietly but before you can settle back and get back to sleep you hear another noise. ok, you know for sure you have no roommates and beomgyu always tells you he's coming over before he does. the room you're hearing the noises from is the storage room where you keep all the extra furniture and miscellaneous items that you haven't had the chance to use or set up yet so nothing should be moving in there. you also recall the movers checking the house for any squatters since that seemed to be more common than most people would think. that day you had been happy and relieved to know that there was none of that in the house.

a thought crosses your mind that it could be the serial killer that's on the loose currently. if that's the case then the killer is in your house, a few feet away, in a room that has old kitchen knives that you decided don't need to be displayed.

you stare at your door while reaching for your phone. you can hear the person walking around the room and dragging the knives across the wall in a menacing manner and that's when the anxiety finally kicks in. your eyes start filling up with tears at the thought of a deranged serial killer being just a couple feet away from you, literally a wall away.

you feel your phone graze your hand and grab it shakily, slowly getting up from your bed. you don't wanna call anyone right now since the walls are thin, the killer might hear you then it's really game over. once you get to your bedroom door, you push it open so painfully slowly that you just wanna sob right there. you hate that something like this is seriously happening to you.

the killer doesn't seem to be out in the open yet. you figure they're still deep in the storage room. that gives you some time to get out of your house and maybe run to a police station or something. you walk out into the hall and cautiously walk down the stairs hoping they won't do that annoying thing where they creak in intense moments. thankfully though, you make it down the stairs.

immediately, you bolt out of your house. you don't know why but you have the sudden idea to ask beomgyu for help. you run to his house and ring the door repeatedly, you don't care if you're being annoying. you look back at your own house and all the lights are still turned off except for your bedroom lights which you left on. hopefully, the killer isn't persistent and won't come looking for you. you turn back to beomgyu's door and keep ringing the doorbell hoping his ass will wake up since you know he's a heavy sleeper. "come on, come on. fucking choi beomgyu, come on!" you whisper anxiously.

suddenly the door swings open and an angry but half asleep beomgyu is standing there. his hair is disheveled and his face is scrunched up in confusion and drowsiness. you push past him and jump on his couch covering yourself with one of his pillows. "y/n? what the fuck are you doing. it's like 2 am?" he shuts the door, walking over to you.

"is everything locked? the windows? the door just now?" you look up at him, biting your lip. "yes everything is locked and look," you watch him walk back to the front door and lock it. "now the door is locked. mind telling me why you bum-rushed into my house at the ass crack of dawn?"

"gyu-" you can't even manage to get a proper sentence out because a broken sob leaves your mouth rather than words. you walk up to him and hug him tightly. you don't care that you're probably soaking his t-shirt with your tears, you need him to know that you really care about him and you were almost permanently separated from him today. "y/n?"

"gyu t-the killer. the s-serial killer! he's in m-my house right now," you sob even harder into his shirt and you're glad he feels warm because those 2 minutes of ringing his doorbell out there made you almost freeze to death. especially since you're only wearing your pjs which consisted of a t-shirt and short shorts.

you feel him hug you back and you sigh shakily as he rubs your back to comfort you. "y/n," he says simply. you pull away from him, which you immediately regret because you start to feel cold again. "w-we need to call the police," you wipe your tears harshly but to no avail, since they just keep falling against your will.

you take your phone from your pocket and start to dial but beomgyu takes your phone from you and pockets it into his sweats. "y/n, i've never seen you cry. you look so pretty when you cry," he leans closer to your face and you flinch when he brings his hand up to caress your cheek before wiping a stray tear from it.

"gyu, we need t-to call the police! it's not the time f-for games. give me my phone please," you move his hand away from your face and motion for him to give your phone back. he chuckles right in your face, mockingly.

"please, she says."

you watch expectantly as he takes your phone out of his pocket but feel your heart drop with it as he lets it fall to the floor with a deafening crack. if that wasn't enough, you watch in disbelief as he stomps on it with force, effectively rendering it useless.

your eyes start to fill with tears again and the sinking feeling that beomgyu isn't gonna help you starts to settle. "w-why," you blubber. you fall to the ground in defeat and confusion. you don't even have the strength to run to the door to get proper help because you felt you had no energy after watching beomgyu turn his back on you.

"ever since you moved here i've had my eye on you. i really like you y/n. scratch that, i love you y/n. the other girl that lived in the house before you was boring so i had her killed off within the first week of her moving here. i mean she was pretty but you're gorgeous, i like you much more." he lifts you off the ground and examines your face to see how your taking in this information. you can't even speak because of the burning sensation in your throat from trying to hold back your tears so hard.

"i bailed that asshole killer out of jail and hired him to kill people for me," he continues. "didn't actually wanna get my hands dirty."

he moves you to sit on the couch as if this is just another normal conversation between friends. it finally clicks in your head what's happening and you stand up and snap at him. "what the fuck gyu? i thought you were just a regular person what the fuck is wrong with you!" you begin to walk to the front door but he grabs you with a force you've never felt him use before.

"y/n really? i've been protecting you this whole time!" you can sense that his patience is thinning. "all this time! when we walked to the store and those guys catcalled you, i had them killed. that guy that hit on you in our seminar class, he's gone!" he smiles wickedly and you hate the fact that he still looks like your adorable best friend.

"y/n you're the only for me. im sorry i scared you but i knew if the serial killer went to your home you'd come running to me," you feel him rubbing your hand soothingly and you pull away from him with disgust.

"don't touch me! i'm going to the police, this is fucking sick." before you can even reach the door you hear something click. you feel a cold metal around your wrist and when you look down you see that beomgyu has handcuffed you to the door. "you're not leaving y/n, do i really have to do this to you? i've been waiting for months just for you to run away?" he whispers.

"beomgyu let me go right now," you seethe. the anxiety you felt before is only heightened when you look around and catch someone leaving from your house. "beomgyu please," you resort to petty pleads.

he pouts at you, "don't worry y/n i'm not gonna hurt you, i would never." he gives you a tender kiss on your forehead before standing up again. 

"i just want you to myself that's all."

#choi beomgyu #beomgyu #beomgyu imagines #fluff #beomgyu reactions #beomgyu drabbles #beomgyu drabble #beomgyu imagine #txt imagines #tomorrow x together #drabble #beomgyu fluff #txt fluff #tomorrow x together imagines #txt headcannons #txt reactions #txt smut #txt scenarios #beomgyu scenarios #beomgyu timestamps #beomgyu fic #beomgyu smut #gothtxtober

[the-faultofdaedalus]

But see you've watched IM2 you didn't just read read a bunch of fics and then decide you know canon and ran with it so I respect your AUs lol

YEAH like,,,,, Most of my aus. a good majority of them. are... "hey what if *insert small fact here* was changed in canon" because i ADORE canon divergent stuff. i think it's so fun to just.... play with chaos theory. nudge something there, watch the rest of it spiral WAY out.

i think the au i have that is the most like, Out There is the ares au? but i do think that the characterization IS largely fairly recognizable, all the names are just... different. theres also lots of jokes w/ me and my friends that at this point remortal tony is borderline an oc and like,,,, yeah fair enough. i feel like i'm doing at least mostly decently keeping him like, as he would be in that situation, though. guess we'll find out tho whoops.

and also like,,,, again, when i do oc stuff, i wanna do oc stuff, yknow? like, i wanna do it with my characters. with my worlds. i dont wanna just... write an au thing that gets low-key ooc i wanna do my OWN thing.

but also. my first exposure to 616 canon WAS just reading a bunch of fics and getting really really confused about "all these weird aus" because i was (and. lbr still am.) a dumbass. like,,,, fic w/ the og-ish 616 team in the mansion like "hey neat!" without realizing. i was reading (616) cw fic like "wow, this is a weird take on that movie! really good though!" and then being confused about why it was written before ca:cw came out. also, i read, like, so much noir fic, and even got into the filtered tag for it, before i realized it WASN'T just a super in-depth collaborative au and instead was, actually, a canon published comic. the two fics that got me into the fandom were a) circles of rust by kerosenesteve, which is a canon-divergent thing that splits off in im1, and space electric by icarus_chained, which is a space au. one that does follow like, the major plotlines mostly, but is still, you know, sci-fi space stuff!

so like. actually i have forgotten where i was going with this but if i want original stuff, i'll fuckin read original stuff. i'll write original stuff. i'll write stuff that has no fandom influence at all (as much as is possible, considering i cut my teeth writing for fandom and that is Still a very large influence on how and why i write) and i've even got a blog for just original fiction stuff that i write (shameless plug, @sorbusscriptor )

but when it's fandom i want? i wanna play what's already there. i wanna read into what already exists. it's not even about the shape of what is there, it's about the void that that shape leaves! its like brownian motion, canon is an iceburg and half the fun is finding out just what's knocking at it underneath the water to get it to be shaped the way it is.

like,,,,, finding a piece of media and filling in the holes, and what isn't said, and what happens inbetween what's happening on-screen, in trying to figure out what's up with the non-pov characters, it's so fun!!!! both when it's something you adore, and when it is a book or movie or show that is. absolute goddamn garbage lmao.

like, i watched Breach with my family a little bit ago (space "horror" movie feat. bruce willis that is shamelessly ripping off like every single other sci-fi movie that exists, that is just,,,, so weird with the plot things it chooses to use, and has so many holes it's practically a net.) and it was just.... so FUN being like "so hey, WHAT the fuck was happening here? why did this happen? why DIDN'T this happen?" because it's such a bad movie. there's an alien parasite some guy brought on the ship and like. it is never explained where tf this thing is from. it's from "the experiments" but like,,,, what does that mean. where did it come from. the guy is asked where tf these things are from and he's like "maybe they exist before time" and bro. WHAT? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN! and like. god its just so bad. everyone is trying to get into an escape pod when like. a) their ship is, uh... either doing a quantum-jump, or going at FTL speed, or, one of the 9 thousand different FTL-mechaincs stolen from various other medias, and im pretty sure the escape pod is not capable of going at that speed, so it sure seems like if that thing ejects Bad Things are gonna happen, and 2, they're like.... 40 fucking days away from the planet they're aiming for WHILE AT warp speed. WHERE DO THEY THINK THEY'RE GONNA GO it's just genuinely. the holes left in this movie are more interesting than the movie itself. and if you look hard enough, every piece of media is like that

#sometimes the holes are way smaller. or way more like. sensicle. #but they're there! and you can play in those holes to your heart's content #me w/ fandom is like the opposite of the its not that deep meme #maybe its not that deep but im fuckin diving into this shit anyways #it CAN be that deep if you BELIEVE #anyways dora ily and ur fandom opinions are always so correct..... biggest brain

[all-hail-the-witcher]

jaskier’s breakup album

alright full disclosure i probably went into way more detail than i needed to. but jaskiers a dramatic little shit and therefore so am i. but this album slowly became my baby and I've been listening to it for the last 2 weeks while I've been doing homework and its a good sad bop. these are just my opinions, but i think it would be cool to see what other people think (esp because im fairly new to this fandom). also this post is really long. sorry about that. 

so. we all know jaskier is a bard. he traipses around writing songs about whatever fling he's having or about his witcher. netflix canon makes it pretty clear that geralt is one of jaskiers muses (and probably one of his more reliable ones given what we know about jaskiers dating history). jaskier is also very, very dramatic (as I'm sure everyone knows cause he's the damn comic relief that show desperately needs). in particular though the scene at the beginning of 1x05 where geralt is djinn hunting and jaskier stumbles upon him, drunk, singing off key, and rambles about how "the countess de stael, my muse and beauty of this world, has left me. again. rather coldly and unexpectedly, i might add. i fear i shall die a broken hearted man” and jaskier is clearly half muttering some sad attempt at a breakup song he's trying to write at the beginning of the episode so the question is, wouldn't he do the same thing post mountain scream down with geralt?

the answer is of course, yes he would because jaskier is nothing if not a dramatic little shit. and i am proposing that he writes not only one but an entire album (or set if this is canon era, but if this is canon i think he would keep a great many of these songs to himself, only playing a few select ones with the hopes that someday geralt will hear one and realize how badly he fucked up) of break songs and lamentations about geralt, because say all you want about what their relationship is, but one does not simply go traipsing around the entire continent with someone for 20 years and not grow close to them in some way shape or form (and the show makes it clear that geralt is at least one of jaskiers close friends so). now what is on this breakup album? well I'm glad you asked.

i peg jaskiers music (modern or canon honestly) for this album as being a combination of taylor swift’s folklore/evermore albums and james arthur and ill explain why. 

taylor swifts folklore/evermore albums have this almost ethereal, floaty, reminiscent, indie vibes. there are many metaphors, recurring themes and its overall kinda dramatic at points which i feel is exactly what jaskier would be doing right now (it also just kinda gives me canon era vibes, idk). but james arthurs music is much more emotionally intense which i think is definitely in character for jaskier at this point because he strikes me as someone who copes with things through his music. both artists do the sings through story telling in an almost monologue manner which goes along with that kinda bardic music and all that. i also think that jaskier would want geralt to know that these songs are about him because hes dramatic like that (kinda like how taylor swift writes her stuff). anyway here's what i think would be on his breakup album: 

heres a link to the playlist

1. the lakes - taylor swift 2. from me to you i hate everybody - james arthur 3. maybe - james arthur 4. sad eyes - james arthur 5. hoax - taylor swift 6. naked - james arthur 7. right where you left me - taylor swift 8. all too well - taylor swift 9. impossible - james arthur 10. exile - taylor swift 11. illicit affairs -taylor swift 12. safe inside - james arthur 13. quite miss home -james arthur 14. my tears ricochet  -taylor swift 15. phoenix - james arthur 16. this is me trying - taylor swift  17. happiness - taylor swift 18. death by a thousand cuts - taylor swift 19. empty space - james arthur 20. coney island - taylor swift 21. new years day - taylor swift 22. the 1 -taylow swift

so theres 22 songs which im sure jaskier would do on purpose cause hes a dramatic little shit ( “one song for every year i wasted on you” or something of that sort). jaskier being a dramatic little shit is going to be a recurring theme. some of them work better for modern era than canon era but as a whole this can be interpreted as either romantic or platonic. anyway lets unpack. 

1. the lakes by taylor swift (more canon era interpretation)

this song is the bonus and final track off of folklore. the song is actually about how she wants to go live in seclusion with her boyfriend out of the public eye but that is not what it means in this interpretation. i think that this song is about how jaskier feels as though his career as a bard is tainted now because he spent so many years singing geralts praises and there is no way he will be able to escape that part of his life because undoubtedly hes going to get requests for toss a coin and others he wrote about geralt and people will probably know him as “the witchers bard”. so this song is him talking about how he wants to run away and live out his life in seclusion because geralt took from him one of the only happinesses in his life. 

Take me to the lakes, where all the poets went to die I don't belong, and my beloved, neither do you Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry I'm settin' off, but not without my muse 

the line “i dont belong and my beloved neither do you” references the fact that jaskier feels like an outcast now that he’s spent years traveling around with a witcher, notoriously outcasts from society, so he feels that he doesnt belong anymore either.

I want auroras and sad prose I want to watch wisteria grow Right over my bare feet 'Cause I haven't moved in years And I want you right here

the second stanza references his idealization of living out his life in solitude, with nature, where no one can judge him (and geralt cant yell at him). 

jasper would have started this album with that song because it states his intentions: he feels as though he’s done with singing. it could also refer to him leaving the public eye (in modern era) to write this album.

2. from me to you i hate everybody by james arthur (more canon era interpretation) 

songs 2-4 on jaskiers album are ones that he wrote at various points while he and geralt were still together/best friends/etc. these three songs establish what the relationship was like before everything went downhill, but they are kind of melancholy, like looking back on a past love (which is what jaskier is doing). this one jaskier wrote about when they met. geralt would have heard him play it before and he would have known that this song was about him (he probably also secretly liked it and jaskier putting it on his album would have been like a slap in the face because it wasn't one that he had shared with other people, thinking it to be too personal). if this album had been released in modern era, jaskier would have released this song as a single to get geralts attention. he would have definitely wanted geralt to know that this album was about him. 

I used to come here on my own and drink So I didn't have to think or hear the whispering I stand with people telling lies again In suits and ties again and I just need a friend

they meet in the tavern and its clear that jaskier is Not having a good time and really just needs a friend, hence why he decides to go talk to geralt.

You walked into the room and cut the atmosphere like a knife, alright Sobering mind 'cause up to now, I've just been wasting my time, ooh yeah

the “wasting my time” part is of particular interest because it clearly articulates that jaskier feels as though adventuring around with geralt was the best part of his life and before that he'd just been a bard with debatable songs. the song as a whole makes it sound like geralt was jaskiers lifeline.

3. maybe by james arthur (modern or canon era works)

this song, while geralt would know immediately it was about him, was not one jaskier ever shared with geralt. it would have been written a few years after he and geralt had met initially. the reason that jaskier never shared it was because it talks about destiny and geralt made it Very Clear that he does not want to fuck with destiny.

I don't know what's going on Where you came from and why you took so long All I know is that I feel it Like it's the realest thing, I mean it Something changed when I saw you Oh, my eyes can't lie You said, "They're so damn blue And I love how you're so forward Is it too soon to say I'm falling?"

this would have been what young jaskier felt over the course of a few years after traveling around (or befriending if this is modern). There was probably a slip up somewhere, or jaskier just thought that he got really good at interpreting geralts grunts and the line about the eyes is what he hoped/imagined/thought geralt was saying to him in return. 

So maybe Maybe we were always meant to meet Like this was somehow destiny Like you already know Your heart will never be broken by me So is it crazy For you to tell your friends to go on home? So we can be here all alone Fall in love tonight And spend the rest of our lives as one

jaskier probably thinks that destiny is some wildly romantic thing hence why he compares them meeting to destiny. the line about heart break would have also hit especially hard after the mountain scene. also i think its pretty clear that jaskier wants to spend as much of his life traipsing around with geralt in the show (modern era wouldn't have been any different), hence wanting to spend the rest of his life with geralt. 

Oh, is it too crazy For you to tell your brothers about me? They told me they'll protect you But I'll look them in the eye Tell them you and I will be as one

this is the part that sells it for me. i think that geralt lambert and eskel would all be very close (admittedly i havent read the books but i kinda get that vibe from the fandom so). this part about geralt telling his bothers about jaskier and then jaskier probably meeting them would have been an Important Moment. 

4. sad eyes by james arthur (modern or canon works) 

aright so im not sure if geralt has heard this one before. i can see it going both ways. its a possibility that jaskier wrote it at some point and then would kinda sing it softly when hes patching geralt up after a particularly rough hunt so its one of those where like geralts not quite sure what the song is but then he hears it on this album (cause say this was modern era and jaskier actually did release this album geralt would totally buy it after a few weeks and then realize how badly he'd actually fucked up) and is like shit thats what he was singing all along?? but anyway this one is essentially about how jaskier thinks geralt puts too much pressure on himself and all that stuff

You wear the burden World on your shoulders, babe So let me hold the weight I know you're hurting Deep as the coldest pain But this is the order sayin'

essentially jaskier can see through geralts bs and hes calling him out on it and wants him to just take care of himself for once (see: the scene in 1x05 when geralt says he cant sleep) 

5. hoax by taylor swift (canon or modern works)

so this song begins the plethora of break up songs that jaskier wrote about geralt. this one would have been written some time after the incident, after jaskier has some time to reflect on the whole thing. i know that taylor wrote this  song about enduring a toxic relationship, which kind of works if you think about the way that geralts treated jaskier and how jaskier interpreted it (but im not implying that their relationship was toxic or abusive or anything) 

My best laid plan Your sleight of hand My barren land I am ash from your fire

jaskiers plan was to reinvent geralts image and geralt did not think that it was worth it. jaskier is just sorta his side kick (who gets him into trouble, as geralt points out) and geralt kicks him aside like he doesnt mean anything to him (like ash from a fire

Stood on the cliffside Screaming "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in Don't want no other shade of blue But you No other sadness in the world would do

this is a little more literal with the screaming on the cliffside. jaskier wanted a reason to stay and geralt didnt want him to. jaskier knows that witchers dont feel emotions (or at least not like humans do) so hes been tricking himself into believing that geralt actually liked having him around, knowing that it was probably going to blow up in his face at some point. but he doesnt quite regret it, and doesnt want to be sad over anyone else.

6. naked by james arthur (modern or canon works)

this kind of goes along with hoax, jaskier probably wrote them around the same time. he’s admitting in this song that he would be willing to try to work it out with geralt, but geralt needs to change first (needs to actually communicate and let him in and all that stuff). 

'Cause here I am, I'm givin' all I can But all you ever do is mess it up Yeah, I'm right here, I'm tryin' to make it clear That getting half of you just ain't enough

hes quoting geralts words back at him here ( “all you ever do is mess it up” is pretty similar to the line about shoveling shit), saying that all hes ever tried to do is be good and kind to geralt, but geralt hasn't really done the same in return and while jaskier may have dragged him into some things, geralt also needs to take responsibility for what hes done as well. 

7. right where you left me (modern or canon works)

this starts the Real Sad Boy Hours songs. this would refer to how he felt pretty much right after, not knowing what to do because geralt had been so much a part of his life for so long: 

Help, I'm still at the restaurant Still sitting in a corner I haunt Cross-legged in the dim light They say, "What a sad sight" I, I swear you could hear a hair pin drop Right when I felt the moment stop Glass shattered on the white cloth Everybody moved on, I, I stayed there Dust collected on my pinned-up hair They expected me to find somewhere Some perspective, but I sat and stared

this is kind of the processing of the event. and also the moment on the album where the audience would realize that this relationship that he's been telling about until now definitely ended. this song isn't super super emotional, its more a jumble of thoughts cause he didnt know what to feel after the breakup happened. although he didnt write it right after the break up, it was written much after as a looking back.

8. all too well by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)

(the link to this one is from a live performance because i like the emotion in this one better) so this song is not off of folklore (its off of red) but its such a powerful, painful breakup song that i had to include it in the lineup because it seems like something that jaskier would have written very very soon after the incident. the memories especially that she touches on in the song (driving upstate, dancing in the fridge light, looking at the photo album, etc) are all very powerful and real and i can see jaskier doing the same thing. again, if this were modern era i think that he might release this one as a single. theres so much to unpack in this song, this ones gonna be a little longer oops.

Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well

this clearly references the mountain scene. they were a pretty good duo until geralt blamed him for all his problems. and jaskier was effectively stuck on the top of a very dangerous mountain that he would have had to navigate down by himself. 

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

jaskier spent half of his life following geralt around, its likely that he doesnt know what to do with himself or his life now that he doesnt have geralt to follow around on adventures. he doesnt know what to do anymore (see the first song).

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week 'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me You can't get rid of it, 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah

this is more of a hope that jaskier has. he hopes that geralts held onto something of his that he left behind. maybe he left a shirt in one of roaches saddle bags (canon) or a notebook in their apartment (modern) that geralt just cant seem to get rid of. he would like to think that he had an impact on geralts life and that it wasn't just all for nothing. in the beginning, he wants geralt to be just as hurt as he is.

'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

this is a dig at geralt. he'd never had someone to follow him around on adventures before, much less a human. as far as we know it seems like jaskiers the first human that has even given him the time of day. this is jaskiers way of throwing it back in geralts face

9. impossible by james arthur (canon or modern works) 

this would have also been written very soon after the incident. it is more jaskier being mad at himself for not seeing the signs than him being mad at geralt. it is almost like his admittance of the event and like hes finally accepting what happened.

I remember years ago Someone told me I should take Caution when it comes to love, I did And you were strong and I was not My illusion, my mistake I was careless, I forgot, I did

jaskier is someone who clearly falls in love (or at least screws around with people) easily so its likely that someone would have given him some advice along these lines once. but when he met geralt its likely that this caution went to the wind. 

When all is done, there is nothing to say And if you're done with embarrassing me On your own you can go ahead, tell them

Tell them all I know now Shout it from the rooftops Write it on the skyline All we had is gone now Tell them I was happy And my heart is broken All my scars are open Tell them what I hoped would be impossible

this hints at the first song on the album. jaskier has no stomach for singing for audiences asking to hear about the adventures of geralt of rivia. this is his way of telling geralt that, almost as his punishment, he should have to deal with the people who ask why hes not traveling with his bard anymore, because jaskier has no intention of doing so. this is pretty brutal because (as we know) geralt doesnt really enjoy talking about feelings, or talking at all in general.

10. exile by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)

this is a fictitious conversation that jaskier wrote as occurring between him and geralt. it can be looked at either way but i think it makes more sense if bon iver is jaskier and taylor is geralt. 

I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defendin' now? You were my town Now I'm in exile seein' you out I think I've seen this film before

this first chorus is from jaskiers perspective. note the use of “homeland,” as home becomes a theme on jaskiers album. in geralts version of the chorus the line instead is “youre not my problem anymore” which is probably what jaskier took the whole mountain thing to mean. 

All this time We always walked a very thin line You didn't even hear me out (you didn't even hear me out) You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) All this time I never learned to read your mind (never learned to read my mind) I couldn't turn things around (you never turned things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

(the () in this are geralt) this is jaskiers lamentations about how he didnt notice geralts abject discomfort in their relationship and also his regrets in not being able to remedy the situation. 

11. illicit affairs by taylor swift (modern or canon works) 

so this song is clearly and obviously about an affair. however, i have seen interpretations of the song where people view it as being in a relationship that is  so intense and well hidden that in a sense it is almost like an affair, like in the aftermath you’re not even sure if it was real or you deemed it because there isnt really a trace of this other person anymore, and that is the way i think jaskier would have written this song. 

And you wanna scream Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else

the dont call me kid, dont call me baby part would reference jaskiers humanity, he has a normal human lifespan at least in canon (very much unlike geralt) so geralt might brush him off as being young and stupid. jaskier would have made this album to show geralt that hes not being young and stupid, that this did screw him up, and hes suffering cause of it. kind of like a reality check or a slap in the face.

Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else And you know damn well For you I would ruin myself A million little times

the secret language would of course refer to geralt himself. hes a hard man to understand (especially cause half his vocabulary is grunts) and hes also a witcher. so jasper had to learn to understand him and now he has no use for that anymore. and the ending line about ruining myself. that would be jaskiers admittance that he would do it again, he'd do it all again, which comes back up in later songs.

12. safe inside by james arthur (canon era interpretation)

this is one that jaskier would have written maybe a week or so after the incident. the song itself deals with distance and coping with not being in someones life anymore, and i think that that is something that jaskier would struggle to cope with because hes not sure he wants geralt to be alone. this song is more for jaskier than for geralt. 

Everyone has to find their own way And I'm sure things will work out okay I wish that was the truth All we know is the sun will rise Thank your lucky stars that you're alive It's a beautiful life

obviously geralt can take care of himself, but its kinda clear that he doesnt much like his life as a witcher (the part where he talks about them getting slow and killed). so this is kind of jaskiers way of almost reminding geralt that his life on the path is still beautiful and important now that he back by himself. 

Oh, will you call me to tell me you're alright? 'Cause I worry about you the whole night Don't repeat my mistakes, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside If you're home I just hope that you're sober Is it time to let go now you're older? Don't leave me this way, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside

this is more jaskier worrying about geralt being by himself. he hopes that hes okay in the aftermath of this this and that hes taking care of himself still. because of course jaskier would write a whole breakup album but still write one song about how he hopes the person is doing well.

13. quite miss home by james arthur (modern era interpretation)

this song. oh my god. its so amazing. if you dont listen to any of these, at least listen to this one (actually im pretty sure no ones read to this point so if you have thanks). this song is kind of more along the same vein as the previous one, how jaskier misses geralt but its more for him than geralt. he would have probably written it at like 3am in a fit of tears and weakness, and debated long and hard about whether or not to put it on the album, but done it anyway because what does he have to lose? theres a lot to unpack here tho so this is going to be a longer one. (sorry)

I'm in the kitchen while you smoke outside You're careful not to let the smoke inside I always tell you it's poison But I know it helps you take the edge off the day We get a drink before it's closing time The one on high street with the blinking sign All these memories feel poignant I won't be there to see the snow melt away

this is a very very clear picture of an event that seems to have happened a great many times, so much so that it seems like second nature. its like a little glimpse into what their life was before this incident. its intimate, but it still is melancholy.

Whoa I'm in another city I got nobody with me And it just really hit me

this is where jaskier is now, it provides some opposition. its like a culture shock almost, like hes so used to this intimate lifestyle with another person that its jarring to be by himself.

That I quite miss home And I miss you telling me To leave my shoes at the door 'Cause you just swept the floor And the dirt drives you crazy Yeah, I quite miss home 'Cause it feels like poetry When the rain falls down on the window While you're in my arms And we're watching the TV Yeah, I quite miss home

the key here is what jaskier is referring to as “home.” it's not the place, its geralt himself. all these memories center around him, not an establishment. (calling geralt “home” comes back in later songs.) again, this mosh of memories is like theres so many of them that its almost overwhelming but its stemming from jaskiers need to feel something other than lonely and hes craving this reality that hes lost.

14. my tears ricochet by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)

this is a song that really emphasizes jaskiers dramatic little shit tendencies. this is something that he wrote, trying to predict what geralts reaction would be if he found out that jaskier died. this is really just jaskier fantasizing that geralt didnt actually mean any of what he said and does still care about him. theres many lines in here that are jabs at geralt (if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake? and Even on my worst day Did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me?), but i think this is the most important one:

And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want Just not home And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones And I still talk to you When I'm screaming at the sky And when you can't sleep at night You hear my stolen lullabies

this is again, jaskier referring to geralt as home. as seen in the last song, he clearly wants to go there, but he cant. this could also refer to where he grew up, which he cant go to either because his parents still view him as a disappointment (as seen in finally). jaskier saying he still talks to geralt is completely in character, he probably still curses him and the whole thing. but the part about geralt not being able to sleep at night and hearing his stolen lullabies is really hard hitting. jaskier likes to think that geralt wouldn't be able to sleep without his banter or his lute playing or something of that nature. over all its a very powerful song.

15. phoenix by james arthur (modern or canon works) 

this is a fictitious apology that jaskier wrote from geralts pov, kind of what he wished that geralt would say, but knows that he won't. 

Let me, let me begin Let me begin, with an I.O.U Who I owe everything to Lately, lately my friend Lately, you think I'm ignoring you But I've been trying to pull through All of the pain, I know you're looking down, down on me I could have been someone I hurt everyone Pushed away everyone who got near

in this “geralt” outlines what he did wrong, and that he didnt mea what he said at all. again, this is more for jaskiers benefit because he knows that even if geralt were to apologize to him, it wouldn't be to this extent.

16. this is me trying by taylor swift (modern or canon works)

this is jaskier trying to articulate the fact that hes trying to pick himself back up after everything, his way of showing his “healing process” and that he can do it, he doesnt need geralt (as the song shows, its not going very well)

And it's hard to be at a party When I feel like an open wound It's hard to be anywhere these days When all I want is you You're a flashback in a film reel On the one screen in my town And I just wanted you to know That this is me trying (maybe I don't quite know what to say) I just wanted you to know That this is me trying

its showing that jaskier is having trouble enjoying things that he once did (like parties) because hes still so distraught over what happened with geralt, but at the same time he also wants to show geralt that he doesnt need him. it has a very i dont care kind of attitude, but jaskier at the same time is having a hard time showing geralt that hes doing okay, hence the “maybe i dont quite know what to say” which is out of character for the very talkative bard

17. happiness by taylor swift (modern or canon works)

this is more him convincing himself that things will be okay. he's clearly trying at this point to move on, but its proving difficult because geralt was his happiness for so long:

There'll be happiness after you But there was happiness because of you Both of these things can be true There is happiness

he also repeats the line “havent me the new me yet” a few times, which i think is again him trying to convince himself that its going to get better and he will move on from it. but this line is the one that i think hurts the most:

No one teaches you what to do When a good man hurts you And you know you hurt him too

this implies that 1. he still thinks geralts a good man (not a monster) and 2. that he knows he hurt him to and doesn't know how to fix either of them. this is also kind of him giving up on how to fix it, but him recognizing they were both at fault is important for the arc of the story.

18. death by a thousand cuts by taylor swift (modern or canon works)

this is another song that is not off of folklore (its from lover), but i wanted to include it because it think it has a little bit of anger to it (especially in this live acoustic version that i linked) which i think that jaskier would feel a few weeks post incident in a fit of rage, like why am i still feeling this way? why did you think that this was okay?? and its right after happiness, which shows that his healing really isn't linear. there's many lines in this song that pertain to geralt and jaskier and i could talk about the whole thing but im not going to

But if the story's over, why am I still writing pages?

this i think is very jaskier. its so raw and like, i know this is over, why am i still writing about it? why am i making an album about this? why should this still matter to me? its very angry and again, like many of the songs, like a slap.

My heart, my hips, my body, my love Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch Gave up on me like I was a bad drug Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club Our songs, our films, united, we stand Our country, guess it was a lawless land Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust Tryna find a part of me you didn't take up Gave you so much, but it wasn't enough But I'll be alright, it's just a thousand cuts

this part, especially if you listen to her sing it, (which i would HIGHLY RECOMMEND BTW) is very passive aggressive and the the last line is like quite sarcastic and downplays it, like, yes you put me through all of this, but i guess its *just* a thousand cuts. this really shows that in many ways geralt was a part of jaskiers life, and his sudden removal from it would have stung in many ways, and thats not something that you can get over quickly. 

19. empty space by james arthur (modern or canon era works)

this song starts the beginning of jaskier getting over geralt. these last 4 songs would have been written much after the incident, after hes had time to think, but there's still this nagging in the back of his head thats like, well what if im being stupid and he is the one and im supposed to go back?

I don't see you You're not in every window I look through And I don't miss you You're not in every single thing I do I don't think we're meant to be And you are not the missing piece I won't hear it Whenever anybody says your name And I won't feel it Even when I'm burstin' into flames I don't regret the day I left I don't believe that I was blessed I'm probably lyin' to myself again

this is more what jaskier wants to be, not what he actually is. he thinks that hes over geralt, but hes not (the chorus gets into it more but im not going to talk about it here, but it essentially says “only you can fill this empty space”) clearly jaskier is further along in his healing process, but hes still having second thoughts. he wants to be over him, but he knows hes lying to himself, very deep down. 

20. coney island by taylor swift (more modern era interpretation)

this is the true moving on song. it’s still laced with memories and speculation, but it puts clear distance between the two of them, much more so than empty space does because it lacks the longing. it just shows things for what they are. 

And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island Wondering where did my baby go? The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go Sorry for not making you my centerfold

its apologetic, but nothing more than that. it dwells more on what could have been rather than what he wants it to still be. 

The question pounds my head What's a lifetime of achievement If I pushed you to the edge? But you were too polite to leave me And do you miss the rogue Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? Will you forgive my soul When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

this is interesting because it addresses their immortality and how they've been together for years and also the way in which they left things (paradise). but it also implies that things were on the downfall. and the last two lines about forgiveness is interesting because it then calls geralt “too wise to trust me and too old to care” meaning its more a wish of jaskiers rather than something he knows geralt will do.

Were you waiting at our old spot In the tree line By the gold clock Did I leave you hanging every single day? Were you standing in the hallway With a big cake, happy birthday Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest grey? A universe away And when I got into the accident The sight that flashed before me was your face But when I walked up to the podium, I think that I forgot to say your name

these are all very specific, very intimate moments that would clearly mean something to geralt. and it further implies that jaskier is uncertain if he actually made geralt feel appreciated when they were together. but again, its more what could have been rather than what jaskier wanted it to be, which is a nice segway into the last two songs. 

21. new years day by taylor swift (modern era interpretation)

this is another one not from folklore, this song is the closing track on reputation, but i like the nostalgia of it so i decided to include it (and it also has good parallels to the last song). initially jaskier intended for this to be the last song on the album, but decided to add another one last minute (and we will get into why). this song is more jaskiers muted longing to still be with geralt, albeit in the far future. 

There's glitter on the floor after the party Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor You and me from the night before but Don't read the last page But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you're turning away I want your midnights But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

this interpretation is very much like the actual songs interpretation: the desire to stay with someone through the unexciting parts of life, like cleaning up after a party on new years day. additionally, wanting to start something new with someone (being there with them past the midnight kiss and actually starting the first day of the year with them). additionally though, there is the line of “dont read the last page” which refers to the last song on the album, which we will get to. 

Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you And I will hold on to you Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

this is more jaskiers reality. hes torn between holding onto these memories and hopes and actually facing reality. he wants to hold on to geralt, but he also kinda wants to move on. and the last line about the laugh, thats more jaskiers own hope, he hopes that he will come across geralt again and things will work themselves out.

22. the 1 by taylor swift (modern era interpretation)

the decision to make this song the last one on the album was a very last minute decision, and it was written significantly after the rest of the songs. the reason for this was without this last song, the album ends on a note of hope “Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere” but this last song is more of a reality check and acknowledgment that what's done is done and that it will never be again. 

I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit Been saying "Yes" instead of "No" I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though

this refers to the fact that its been some time since the whole thing and jaskiers kind of changed a little bit. he claims hes doing good, and maybe is going to try out a new career (since the first song references wanting to put music down for awhile). seeing geralt at the bus stop is a reference to cardigan where he says “chasing shadows in the grocery line” where hes not actively looking for geralt anymore and it doesnt upset him that he didnt see him.

I guess you never know, never know And if you wanted me, you really should've showed And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow And it's alright now

this is jaskier saying that hes almost glad that it happened because it gave him a new perspective and it was a learning experience. he also says that its alright, which is the second time that hes said hes okay, which probably means he isnt completely, but hes much closer than he was on the rest of the album because hes not still looking for geralt at every turn

I have this dream you're doing cool shit Having adventures on your own You meet some woman on the Internet and take her home We never painted by the numbers, baby But we were making it count You know the greatest loves of all time are over now I guess you never know, never know And it's another day, waking up alone

this is jaskier acknowledging the fact that geralt has probably long since moved on with his life, either with other romantic people or with his life entirely (the first time he does this on the album). he says that while their love or friendship was unconventional it still was definitely something (implying that it may have been one of the greatest loves of his life). and the waking up alone part references quite miss home and being by himself, but it isnt sad, its just a fact at this point.

But we were something, don't you think so? Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool And if my wishes came true It would've been you In my defense, I have none For never leaving well enough alone But it would've been fun If you would've been the one

this is the part where we see that jaskier has grown. hes recognized that his wanting to be with geralt was never anything more than a fleeting wish or a moment that couldn't last. but he knows that it had potential and it could have worked but it didnt and thats okay. in the last chorus the pennies line is “rosé flowing with your chosen family” which implies that he and geralt were close enough to know each others family (chosen or real), meaning that it meant something. and he wouldn't have minded a long term relationship with geralt, but its not what happened.

in new years day jaskier says “dont read the last page” this song is that last page. part of him still doesnt want geralt to know that hes put aside the hope of it working because he wants to still keep himself open for geralt, but knows that  its not healthy and ultimately he needs to move on. hes essentially giving geralt the choice: remember jaskier as wanting to get back with him (since the last line of the album would have been “please dont ever become a stranger who's laugh i could recognize anywhere” or let him have the knowledge that jaskier is done with him (since the official last line of the album is “but it would have been fun if you would've been the one”)

anyway thats jaskiers breakup album. i put way too much effort into this. and if you actually read through the whole thing, thank you and please let me know what you think!! if you use this for fics or have your own interpretations please please tag me, id love to see!!

#the witcher #geralt of rivia #geralt #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #geraskier #wow this took so long #literally so long #id recommend listening to the songs tho theyre all kinda vibey #there's like a million songs i could have used but i liked these ones cause i think they have a very nostalgic vibe #also dont get me wrong jaskier would also eventually release some sones like uhh #truth hurts by lizzo #like very fuck you breakup songs #but this is him being sad first #anyway im literally only posting this cause witcher anon said they wanted to read it #i hope you like it my dude

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Hi love! Can I request a part two for the cevans x reader where the reader misses her period again and she takes another pregnancy test? Only this time it's positive?? You would melt my heart

A/N- I so hope he gets to be a daddy one day, cause he really would be such a great father! I so entirely want this for him one day. 

You and Chris decided after that first pregnancy test to really give it a proper try. And Mr.Christopher Evans, well he was all about giving it every chance the two of you could.

Your house, well if it wasnt christened before, it certainly was now. And afterwards, he was more caring and gentle then even before if that was possible. He would feather kisses down your body, while he eased your hips up with a pillow and stretch out next to you, nuzzling your neck with the slight scratch of his beard and whisper how beautiful you were to him, all while massaging any sore spots you might hint you have.

“Im so lucky to have you” He would say as you were still coming down from your orgasm. His fingers brushing through your hair that had fallen out of your ponytail out of your face. Your cheeks would go slightly red at the compliment.

“Your just saying that Chris”

“I certainly am not just saying that.” He would huff slightly and grasp your chin to place a deep kiss on it, slipping his tongue around yours and inhaling your sigh as you were still recovering from before. “Baby or not, I am the fucking luckiest man.” Your eyes would glaze in between lust and love for him, for you felt the exact same way about him.

Time passed, and a few drs visits, they informed you and Chris that it might take a while, and not to get discouraged. It was hard sometimes to take it to heart though, and every negative test you got, having to step out of the bathroom to see Chris look so hopeful, it broke a little bit of you. But he was good about it, everytime.

“Babygirl, you know he said it could take a while.” His arms would ease you to sit in his lap, your own loping around his neck to balance, and he would tip his forehead to lean against your own, blue eyes filling your gaze. “How about tonight you pack a bag, and we will drop Dodger off at Scotts?”

You slide your arms around his neck and give a small smile. “I would really like that Chris.” His arms tightened around you and give you a loving kiss, letting you go about packing an over night bag for the two of you while he went to drop off Dodger.

That night was exactly what you both needed, the two of you took the few hours to go into New York City, Chris had reserved a beautiful hotel room, a night out at one of your favorite restaurants in the city, along with dancing. Chris was pulling out all your favorites, to finish the night, the two of you walked to times square, just to admire the sight of it all.

Later that evening, your love making wasnt about trying to reach a goal. That wasnt the purpose of your fevered kisses, the way Chris’s body traveled down yours, and loped your legs to brace against his shoulders as he kissed you so intimately, you came crying his name, hands fisting in his hair. Nor the next time when he had you pressed against the hotel rooms floor to ceiling windows, your gaze filled with the dark skyline glowing softly in shades of purples and gold twinkles with the thousands of lights, of others unaware you were on display should they take the time to look. Nor when he laid you out on the bed, and took his time exploring you, unraveling you for the third and final time, both of you spent. No this night was all about appreciating one another, and as you sunk back to his chest, his kiss were hard and possessive against your neck, breathing out. “I fucking love you always Y/N”

Weeks later your sitting on the bathtub edge, thrumming your fingers against the ceramic, staring at the box. Should you take it, maybe just another week? Its not uncommon anymore for your period to be out of whack, and you just didnt want that disappointment again. Dodger sits with his head in your lap, sighing softly as your hand moves to rub his ears, confessing to your favorite Good Boy.

“Buddy I dont know if I can handle another heartbreak again.” You whisper and press your face into the softness of his fur, looking to find peace in the canine. He grew impatient and started to wriggle, in which you let him go. Dodger lifts to place his front paws on the edge of the tub and licks your face, causing that sorrow to uplift a bit. Laughing, you wrap your arms around him and hug before letting him go to race and jump up on your bed, his fluffy tail wagging, slapping his front paws in a invitation to come play.

You reach down and grab his lion near your feet where he ditched it earlier, and toss it for him to catch on the bed, which he snatched and raced out of the bedroom to collide into Chris’s legs. “OOF!” He stumbles into the bedroom just as your coming out of the bathroom. “:Whats gotten into him?” He asks as he looks over his shoulder at Dodger tossing the lion up in the air to catch it.

“I think he was trying to cheer me up Handsome.” You wrap your arm around him and the two of you watch Dodger continue playing in the upstairs hallway before loosing it down the stairs. Your head rests a bit on his chest, and you giggle when he seems a bit lost staring down the stairs, and launches himself down.

“And why do you need cheering up Babygirl?” Chris ponders, his fingers sliding under your chin to tilt to look up at him, you bite your lip and shrug.

“Well I still havent gotten my period, and just ‘fraid you know? What if its negative again Chris?”

“Then its negative baby and we will go back to normal. If you want me to stop loving on you all the time, I will. Theres really no pressure for us to get pregnant.” Chris turned you to face him, covering your cheeks and across your nose in gentle kisses. “Y/N, baby or not, I just love being with you and that will make me just as fucking happy to.” your hands fist in his shirt, and you listen to what hes saying. You know kids mean alot, you both got caught up in this rush, but maybe hes right. You give a nod and move to tip toes to press your lips with his, his hands tightening a bit along the curve of your waist and moaning softly at the sweet taste of your lips. He growled out softly afterwards in a tease.

“Although Im not complaining these past couple monthes have been mindblowing.”

You laugh softly, and rub his chest, winking at him. “You know what, Im not upset about it either, it really has been. How about we check this last one, then... we just enjoy what were doing, and if it happens, it happens?”

“Its a deal babygirl.” He gave you a encouraging smile and once more, for what felt like the hundredth time, you went to take the test. Chris moved over to lean his shoulder against the wall, waiting for you to step back out, and when you did, he drew you into the circle of his arms, while you two waited. This time your head laid on his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart. You timed it that way, counting with each one. This time no words were shared, neither of you wanted to really get the hopes up of the other one. His hands though told there own story, heavy in the small of your back, they followed up your back, and down, his chin resting atop of your head, and you could feel the scratch of his beard tangling in your hairs, his adams apple bob up and down when he swallowed, you burrowed in closer. Praying, please let it be this time for us. You knew Chris would make a wonderful Daddy, and you wanted to give him that. You wanted to be his childrens mother.

“Okay baby, lets go take a look” He sounded calm as ever and you fidgeted your hand in his shirt, nodding. Together you two went to go peer at the stick. Lifting it up, the both of you studying it. Were you.... Your eyes dart back and forth to the box to confirm.

“Handsome were....” You start breathing in deeply. Chris’s holds tighten on you and turns you to look up at him.

“Y/N, Babygirl, your pregnant, we did it! Baby you got a little Boston Baked Bean growing in you!” His voice had lifted in its excitement, and your bust out in tears, streaming down your cheeks and your laughing in your joy while he encases you into his hold, lifting you off your feet in his joy.

“I cant believe it Chris!” your nuzzling in against him as he covers your tear covered face in loving kisses and nips to your lips, pulling you into a deeper kiss, his tongue tracing yours, tangling and you can feel your head rushing at it. Panting when you part, you pause the two of you with a brace of your hand against his chest.

“Did you call our baby... a Boston Baked Bean?”

He shrugged, looking sheepish. “Uhhh, its kinda been stuck in my head since we started really talking about it.

Only your man would ever think that, but you loved him all that much more for it.

#amber request